#i cannot stop listening to this song its ADDICTING

[arcanewebs]

guy who only thinks about rtc: hmm this is giving off rtc vibes

[bloop-bl00p]

“Fîls de joie” What Poison could have been.

TW: Mention of Sexual Assault, Sexual Abuse, Rape, Drugs, Addiction, Manipulation, Mention of Fetish and sex in general, mention of Sex works, Raphielle II don’t go harras him and respect his pronouns

I’m trying to be a writer and I understand writing about taboos and controversial things is difficult. I only write about what I know which is the effect of emotional and physical abuse and religious traumas. Notheless if I’m trying to do something out of my domain of expertise I’ll research it to respect the concerned part of the audience.

Vivienne Medrano said that people who’ve been sexually abused helped write episode 4. Part of me wants to believe it, it’s most likely true, it’s the best thing a writer can do, let knowledgeable people help and not just rely on sites about psychology. But, with how rape and assault are presented sometimes it really feels like she’s lying.

Angel Dust is the only character whose abuse is presented as serious.

Stolas kept belittling Bliztø and kept talking dirty even when the Man was in danger

You cannot tell me that he couldn't hear the gunshot through the phone, in this scene, he keeps making his disgusting speech. Blitzø was practically forced to make the deal as he wasn't in a situation where he could process his thoughts clearly since he was trying to survive

And it was a joke.

Angels Dusk kept harassing Husk throughout the series but he never once apologized. Yes, it stopped after Looser Baby but he should have a mindful conversation with Husk and genuinely say sorry about his behavior.

“It starts with sowwy🥺” What’s the point of having this song if the characters don’t follow through with the lesson?

Those scenes were mostly jokes.

And I haven’t mentioned Sir Pentious getting dragged while being drunk in a sex room, or Moxie being kissed by Succubus despite mentioning he didn't want any of that.

AAaaAaaaAh look at these men, being uncomfortable because they are touched and talked down despite verbally addressing their discomfort! That hilarious!

I want to believe she cares, I’m a fan of these shows, I know it doesn't look like it but I’ve been hooked since the Pilots. Not only was I disappointed at the final result but I was also shocked to learn Medrano is simply just an asshole with too much money in her bag.

Poison failed where Fîls de Joie succeeded:

Before reading any of what I wrote you should listen to it, there are English subtitles. And honestly, it's a good song on its own.

What’s the context of Fîls de Joie?

A sex worker died and her son is holding funerals for her. You can guess it with the wordplay in the title, Fille de Joie (Girl of Joy) is one of the many ways to say prostitute in French. Fîls (son) de Joie is a way to say that he’s the son of a sex worker.

While sung by the same man, you can notice that Stromae gives us four POVs in the song, the son in the chorus, a client, the pimp, and a policeman.

Everyone besides the son is a hypocrite and relatively an asshole. But even if those verses are self-centered and a pathetic attempt from these men to bring sympathy to themselves, despite never hearing the story directly from the Woman, you can guess exactly how her life was and you sympathize with her. It tells us a story, her story.

This woman was a good mother, and it shows how much the son insisted on leaving her alone, speaking proudly of her despite acknowledging her flaws, and even repeatedly calling her a hero.

But HEY! (But HEY!) Leave my mom alone Yes I know, she’s not perfect, it’s true She’s a hero (She’s a hero) And I will always speak of her with pride

The client is trying to be excused from his actions by stating he’s lonely and addicted to it.

Being alone is not easy And it’s been years since my last time

The hardest part, well, it’s the first time And now what’s hard is to decide when the last time will be

But he’s also verbally violent even stating that as long as he got the money he could pretty much do everything to her.

Maybe this time around we can do it with me insulting her. Yeah everything is negotiablе in life, if you got the money And after all, I’m probably her best customer

With that alone, you can probably guess that it’s not the only violent client she had but she has to endure it because she needs money. Considering that she has a son it’s probably to support his education or something related to her well-being and his.

Then comes the pimp, he brushed off all of his misdeeds by saying he gives them shelter and food and should be grateful for it.

Why does everyone hate me? I’m the one feeding them Their lives would be way more mediocre. Without me, their lives would be shitty

Not only that but his good actions are not for the sake of it, he should have his part of the deals. He doesn't want them to feel like princesses eventually calling them hookers in a very dehumanizing way.

That has a price, Missy. Well duh, in this life, everything comes at a price. Nobody ever told you? They say I’m guilty of human trafficking But 50, 40, 30 or 20% is not nothing

They better not delude themselves and think they’re models Ladies—or should I say: hookers!

Not only does this woman have to endure constant violent behavior from her clients she barely gets enough money despite being the one at work, receiving either 50% or even 20% of what she actually gained. The rest goes to an egocentric pimp that only sees her as merchandise.

While we can technically understand where the policeman is coming from, he’s just doing his job, he’s making a mistake apparent in the other’s verse but much more evident in his.

He doesn't see her as a human.

I know that it’s your job But I gotta do mine, don’t I?

Take back your ID and what’s left of your dignity You’re pathetic, pfft Find yourself a real job!

This song doesn't tell us the story of a prostitute but the story of a financially struggling Mother who juggles between abusing clients and a society that only focuses on the top of the iceberg, the fact that she’s selling her body.

Stromae tries to appeal to our compassion and teach us that it’s important to understand why someone will go their way to sell sex for a few pennies. And rather than rejecting them, we should help them.

Another thing I like about the clip as a whole is the Military. They don’t have a Belgian or French uniform but they wear multiple of them to show that this dehumanization isn’t linked to one country but it’s global, every countries and cultures take part in it, and it needs to be fixed.

What does Poison tell us?

Angel got stuck in an abusive situation and was forced to do sex work for his pimps, it focuses more on the sexual assault rather than his life.

He obliviously regrets his choice resulting in him blaming himself for getting into such a messy situation. A situation he’s seemingly addicted to despite himself, he knows it’s bad but he can’t help it.

What's the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself

You're feedin' me poison Addicted to this feelin', I can't help but swallow. Up your poison

The poison can also be a metaphor for the drugs he seems to take directly from Valentino’s brand. A drug he either takes himself or is forced to inhale.

He uses the same substance to forget his situation and numbs the pain while also putting on a false Sex-addicted mask to convey that he’s fine and stay on Valentino’s good side. A direct consequence of his abuse is his addiction and his hypersexuality.

I got so good at bein' untrue I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear I disassociate, disappear

At the end of the song he’s waisted, traumatized, and finally breaks down as he finally has a short time to process everything that happened. Because here’s the thing, Poison is a fantasy, it’s a mask he puts in to forget the emotional and physical weight that was put on him, hence why it’s so flashy and pretty. The few glimpses of Angel being visibly distraught show that all the parts where he isn't are him disassociating.

See I can analyze stuff and I totally understand what they were trying to do with it but the difference with Fîls de Joie is, that we didn't know the life or personality of The Mother and we learn it through the song.

Angel Dust and Valentino’s relationship is highlighted throughout the shows and Poison doesn't add anything new to the table. The song is POINTLESS. Husk already looked at us and told us that Angel Dust being sexual was a whole persona he puts in.

You can say that the song humanized him since he was basically the “AaahaAH SEX” character but the locker scene already did and… I don’t like the story behind the making of it, why you ask?

Because Vivienne let Raphielle’s work affect her writing.

Visually speaking I believe you can present a disturbing concept with equally disturbing imagery, I understand that the point was to make you uncomfortable and the Dance sequence was Angel Dust disassociating while what was happening was displayed on the screen.

But… can someone explain why they let the work of someone blatantly fetishizing Angel and Valentino's relationship leak into the final product? I don’t even care that Raphielle or Vivienne have a nonconsensual fetish but we can all agree that his content depicting the two men will be inrentently for gooning purposes right? Or am I crazy for saying that?!

Okay, I wanna be clear, Raphielle can do everything he wants what I care about is that his fetishistic content was referenced in the shows.

→ Here’s one of his works. Go at 2:45 if you wanna skip the sexual stuff

→ Click here for more proof

The idea of Angels Dust being “sexy” while his image is projected on screens is from Raphielle II, his work is for sexual gratification but Medrano still referenced it despite Raph being pretty vocal about it.

And that’s not all.

Yes, Vivienne, it’s great marketing to make a cum joke about visuals displaying rape. Because in case y’all forgot all of the sex scenes in the clip are non-consensual from Angel Dust's perspective.

Am I supposed to believe that this woman cares when not only she has a double standard only showing rape and sexual assault as a whole in a bad way when it comes to her favorite character?

Am I supposed to believe that she cares when she associates herself with a fetishizer and references his work in her show?

Why did Stromae managed to make me care about an unnamed fictional dead woman in the spam of 3:57 when she just irked me in 20 minutes with her so-called “well done” representation of sex workers?

Is that really what people call a realistic presentation? How does someone manage to fumble so hard on every aspect of the series, I’m starting to believe that Hazbin Hotel is just rage-bait with the lack of respect she puts into it.

That’s all for me if anyone wants to add anything, the comments are there.

[neteyamslovrr]

heyhey its billie anon, i was thinking whether you could make an aonung fic based on her song "halley's comet" !! incase you havent heard it or since you dont listen to her anymore, here's an idea: reader is a metkayina and is betrothed to another random metkayina as she is one of the best healers of the clan and accidentally falls inlove with aonung, she knows it's wrong but she just cant help but cut off the betrothal infront of her parents and the other metkayina's family. ronal and tonowari hear ab this incident and 100% understand that love cannot be controlled by one (maybe from experience, ronal/tonowari maybe had a similar incident like reader) and reasons with reader's parents. you can write the rest if you want!! (also, i wld LIVE to see a small little epilogue if you could..?) (this was the lil idea i had!)

I NEED HIM NOT YOU

summary: betrothed to another you knew it was wrong to fall in love with ao'nung, but you can't help it because it feels so right.

───͙⊱••✩••̩̩͙⊰•───

Betrothed since infancy. A curse it was. To be spoken for before you could speak. It was a curse.

Iye, your promise. Iye, the innocent who longed for you. Iye, the man who you were chosen to be with. Ao’nung, the chief’s son who kissed you goodnight daily. Ao’nung, the lover who you longed for. Ao’nung the man you were destined to be with.

His kisses were addicting, his touches were exhilarating, his words were mesmerizing. His love was wrong. Your love was wrong. So why did it feel so right. When his hands trail down your body, when he recites his love to you, when he brings you small gifts. It felt so right.

“I have dinner with Iye tonight.” His name was like fire to your tongue. It spread and destroyed everything it touched. “My parents want to plan our ceremony, soon.”

Ao’nung had you enclosed in his arms as you laid in a cave far away from the village. A peaceful place to enjoy the serenity. The mention of that man’s name made his hold on you tighten. It had been known you were betrothed, promised, that you were untouchable but that didn’t stop the flutters in his heart when he saw your beauty, when he heard your laugh.

“I am going to call it off.” Ao’nung’s eyes widened, were you about to be his?

“You’ll get in so much trouble flower.”

“I don’t care. I can’t keep laying in your arms every day knowing one day I will have to wake up in the arms of another.”

“Has something happened? This is something reckless I would do, not you.” You chuckled before letting out a sigh indicating something indeed did happen.

“Iye’s mother and my mother were talking. About grandchildren. It repulsed me.” Ao’nung felt repulsed too. The thought of you bearing children that weren’t his. It was his nightmare.

“Fair enough.” His deep chuckle rumbled as you felt the vibrations of his chest on your back. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble. That’s my thing.”

“I could never top you my troublesome mate.” Ao’nung squeezed you tightly kissing the top of your head.

“We should go now…” Ao’nung nodded as you both called your ilu’s.

“Can you promise me something Y/N?”

“What is it?”

“The next time we come here, you’ll truly be mine.”

“I promise.”

Ao’nung promised to wait for you in his marui until the dinner was over. You just hoped this wasn’t going to be a shitshow.

_

The dinner was awkward. Two families connected by one who accepted their fate and one who longed for another.

Sounds of chewing and knives chopping was the only thing breaking the awkward tension in the room. More so between you and Iye. “Our ceremony will be soon.” Iye tried to break the tension, his shaky voice filling the room. “Mother is planning it, are you excited?.”

“No.” Everyone snapped their head towards to you, disproval dripping off your parents face.

“That’s a very crass joke Y/N.” Iye’s mother chimed in, her high-pitch voice trying to cover up the shock of your behaviour.

“I’m not joking.”

“Y/N! Watch your words.” Your mother had finally spoken. Her tone sharp and her glare sharper.

You mouthed a ‘sorry’ to Iye before you let out a heavy sigh. “I cannot mate with Iye.”

“What. What do you mean?” Your mother spluttered in confusion as everyone else in the room shared concerned looks to each other.

“I love another. I cannot mate with Iye, he is not who I want.” Your voice was firm as your fidgeted with your fingers. Heart beating in your throat as nausea swirled in your stomach.

“Who.” Iye’s mother had now spoken. Eywa, this was harder than you thought it would be. Gulping harshly, you closed your eyes. This would’ve been way easier with Ao’nung by your side.

“I am in love with Ao’nung. He loves me too.” Your mother let out an exasperated gasp as she hit her hands on her thighs standing up.

“This union has been planned for years Y/N! Why have you ditched this union between our two families for the reckless son of the chief? He will get bored of you! He is not Olo’eyktan he is a mere kid.”

“Do not disrespect him in front of me. Keep that to your gossip sessions.” You started to grow hot, fire burning in the pits of your rage. “This union means nothing! It is nothing! I refuse it.”

“I cannot believe this. How long has this been going on? How long have you stayed disloyal to my son?” You rolled your eyes at Iye’s mother.

“I have been in love with Ao’nung for years. He has been with me for every part of my life. And I will be his mate. If you do not agree with that, than you can disagree with your future Olo’eyktan’s choice in Tsa’hik.”

Your mother’s fists were balled as she continued to heave. “Go. Do not come back until you have cleared your mind of that boy. I do not allow it.”

“I don’t give a shit.” You screamed before storming out of your pod.

You should’ve figured that Ao’nung would have been waiting outside. You should’ve known that he wouldn’t stay still waiting while your advocated for your relationship.

“Well! that sounds like it went well.” Ao’nung gave you a small smile before embracing you. “You did so well my flower.”

“That sucked.” You mumbled into his shoulder, you didn’t want to cry but you felt the tears in your eyes starting to build up.

“It sounded like it did. My parents even heard. You yell quite loud.” You broke from his grasp holding onto his biceps.

“Your parents heard?! Ao’nung! Are you in trouble?” You were shocked, you hadn’t even thought about his parents finding out yet.

“I’m not sure. My mother said and I quote. “She is brave, go be brave with her you skxwang.”” You stared at him confused. Did Ronal really say that? “I try not to be confused. I am too happy as you are mine now.”

“I have always been yours Ao’nung. Haven’t I?”

“You have my flower.” He leaned in and gave you a tender kiss. “But let us do one more thing and you will be mine forever.” Your eyes widened as you nodded.

“It has taken us long enough.”

_

Epilogue

It had been a year since you and Ao’nung had officially mated. Though it took awhile for your parents to come around they figured they were being too pushy and shouldn’t have forced you to mate with anyone. (They were mostly happy you had fallen in love with the next chief.)

The small cave was still your favourite place. Not because it was secluded or away from other. But it was yours. A special place between the two, a place were a love that felt so wrong blossomed into something so right.

“Flower?” Ao’nung asked as you lifted your head from the comfortable place on his chest.

“Yeah?”

“Did you ever have dreams of us together? I always did.”

“I did constantly, I hated them.” Ao’nung’s face knotted in confusion.

“Why’s that?”

“Because in every dream I had to wake up to sneaking away to you instead of being with you proudly.” You smiled up at him leaving a soft kiss on his bare chest.

“I see. How about your dreams now.” Ao’nung’s rough hand caressed your face, his powerful gaze sending shivers through you.

“I am living in one.”

───͙⊱••✩••̩̩͙⊰•───

a/n: this could be better but i've been hating everything i write. sorry billie anon if this isn't what you thought but u have put me back onto billie

[romana-after-dark]

Room's on Fire: I am the Fire

Final chapter

Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader

Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader

Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader

Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader

Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual

Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: Ashes, ashes, we all burn down.

Warnings and Content:

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence. Covert incest, massive mommy issues, sexual abuse all around, past grooming by parental figure. no CSA but the victim isn't much older. some Bates Motel type shit. I cannot properly warn you for everything, without just telling the story but consider this a major warning that there are dark dark themes. No one involved here is morally clean, and who you perceive as the good guy cannot be relied on. Don't come to my story and say im romanticizing these things until at least the story ends.

Extra warnings for chapter: Gore, lots of burning, a combo Ellie Williams/ midsommer feminine rage

3.9k words (can you believe this was originally gonna be combined with the last chapter?)

A/N Please know tags have been spotty so check and make sure you're caught up! Also I am sick so sorry if the writing is mid lololol im trying.

A/n2: Please listen to the song title thing chapter!!! Its playing in madonna's head during *that* scene

"I promise to myself Alone and no one else My flame is rising higher I am the fire I am burning brighter Roaring like a storm And I am the one I've been waiting for Screaming like a siren Alive and burning brighter I am the fire"~ I am the Fire, Halestorm

“Francisco?” You say after a moment, after Ben’s body is done shaking, after his head goes limp in Ben’s arms and his hands no longer fister desperately at Ben’s shirt. His body no longer claws for life while his mouth chokes on its own blood. “Francisco, please…” You feel your stomach; your baby is kicking.

Pulling away finally, you see his face is wet; Ben’s shirt is drenched. “Yeah… yeah, we gotta go.” He stands, but before he steps away, he closes Ben’s eyes.

As he takes your arm, you stop him, holding his puffy wet cheeks away and looking up into his red eyes. “Thank you.” Francisco didn’t say anything, just nodded and began to walk on. 

You glance back at Ben’s body, looking so peaceful. So rested. As Francisco rounded a corner, you dashed over to your husband's body, forcing his eyelids open again, yanking the cool jaw down so his face contorted wide and in fear. You hoped he was not rested. You hoped he was suffering in fear. Most importantly, you hoped Will or Santiago found him like this.

*

Francisco takes your hand, pulling you along as you run as fast as you can 8 months pregnant, catching up to Jonah and Iris.

Before anyone can say anything, Jonah punches Francisco. You only barely muffle a scream, while Iris whispers ‘Jonah!’ harshly

“What is wrong with you!” Jonah whisper-shouts, fury in his face at the fact Francisco was willing to risk all of their lives for Ben. He looked ready to punch him again, and Francisco was ready to take it, but you ran between them.

“No!” You block your husband, and of course Jonah doesn’t dare.

“Honey, you need to move. He’s a liability.”

Your eyes widen, dread settling in your stomach. “What do you mean?”

Francisco’s voice behind you, cold and drained. “He means I need to die, Madonna.”

That dread in your stomach spreads throughout your body, terrified. “No! No, I won’t let you! Iris!” You turn to her, looking for help, looking for her to step in and reason and control the situation the way she always did… but instead, she just looked sorry.

“I won’t let you kill him.” you say, a determination you weren’t sure you could live up to.

“Madonna, it’s okay.”

Iris. “Maybe we can just leave him here?” She tried to rationalize.

“Santiago will kill him! If not him, Will!”

Jonah’s face softened. “It’ll be easier with us. You know damn well those two will make it hurt.”

“THEN LET HIM COME!”

“SHHHH!” Jonah stepped closer, his knife gripped in his dominant hand, his right hand reaching for you. You knew, rationally, he was just trying to cover your mouth, or maybe moving to get Francisco, but it still scared you. You backed into the wall of a man behind you, his large hand clamped over your lips again. His other arm wrapped around your middle; his face tucked into your neck.

“It’s okay… it’s okay. I just want you to be free.”

Tears began to stream down your face, wetting his hand just before he slowly removed it from your mouth. “He killed Ben.” You cry to Jonah. “Doesn’t that prove it? Doesn’t that prove he’s loyal to us?”

Iris spoke up. “How many times has he crawled into Santi’s bed?”

“She’s right, Madonna…” Francisco mutters against you, practically begging for his own death while you stood between him and Jonah.

You shake your head. “No, no Santiago hurt him! He hurt him, you know what that’s like, Jonah! He had no choice!”

“Jonah?” Iris’s voice was laced with confusion, the hand that held the lantern shaking.

Jonah couldn’t face her. “I never wanted what I had with Beatriz, Iris. I wanted to be with your mom but…” He locked eyes with you, apologetic but determined. He was still going to kill Francisco. “Beatriz was… she made me. I’ll explain it all when we’re safe, I promise. Both of you, I’ll explain everything…”

“Jonah. Please.”

“Dad.”

“I’m sorry. It needs to be done. I told Marcus I’d protect you, and I’ve done a shitty fucking job of it but I swear to god, I’m gonna-”

“DAD!”

You, Jonah, and Francisco all turn to Iris, who is staring wide-eyed into the hall. When you look there, Will has the barrel of a gun pointed to her. His target was chosen wisely, someone you, Francisco, and Jonah would all try to protect. Will likely doesn’t want to hurt you yet, even if he wanted you dead, they needed the savior. Iris was expendable to him, but everything to Jonah. She mattered far more to Jonah than you or Francisco did. He couldn’t hurt Francisco, not without evoking Santiago’s wrath. 

Then you realized… you might have a chance to save this still. Only problem is, you have to sacrifice Jonah to keep Francisco, you, Iris, and your children alive. You had to act fast, but you knew Jonah would willingly sacrifice himself to keep Iris alive another day. Looking at Iris, beaten, raped, lost the love of the her life Iris, it was an easy choice to make.

“Let go.” You whisper to Francisco, and obedient as ever he does as you say. “WILL!” You then exclaim, running into his strong arms, pretending to be relieved. Will takes you into his arms, and you try to form your story as you speak. “Jonah tried to take me and Iris! We didn’t want to, but he forced us!” You couldn’t look at anyone, but you hoped they were playing along.

Will’s hand cradled the back of your head, holding you to his chest. “Forced you, huh?” His voice was tight, tense, much unlike his usual composed self. “He kill Ben?”

When you open your mouth to say yes, Jonah responds for you. Thank god he’s not an idiot. “And I’d do it again, Miller.”

It was close. It was so fucking close. You could tell him Francisco was trying to save you and Iris. You could buy time. You could buy time… 

But then Will shot at Iris, and everything devolved, bursting into the chaos like the fire that fell from her hand.

Jonah dove towards Will like a mad man, all his rage suddenly unleashed. Francisco hesitated, but went to Iris who had fallen to the ground, head bleeding. Will turns the gun to Jonah, and you don’t even have to think. Sure, you could save this. Will could kill Jonah, like you were going to let him do seconds earlier… but instead you grab his gun arm.

You move it away from pointing at Jonah.

You twist it so far behind his back, Will screams, but doesn’t let go of the gun.

Jonah tries to take it, trying to tell you to go but you’re frozen. The three of you tossel around, crashing into not one but two gas lamps that crash to the ground in a blaze. It’s not until he forcefully shoves you away and screams, “RUN!” That you get it.

This is it. There’s no time now, the gunshot will have alerted guards, and you’ll be lucky if you make it out alive. 

You look over; Iris is alive, the gun grazed her head but Francisco is helping her up with her arm slung over his shoulder. The three of you run as best you can with two of you pregnant and one injured. With Iris being twice such disabled, can run faster, and when you look behind you can see the distance between you, and Francisco and Iris. 

“Go!” Iris tries to shove Francisco off. “Just get her out of here!”

“NO!” and you go to drape her arm over your shoulder, just like Francisco on the other side. “Together, or not at all.”

“HARLOT!” Santiago screams at you, appearing among the smoke-filled halls in front of you three. You hear Iris half laugh ‘jesus fucking christ’ in disbelief. 

You try to speak. “Santiago, listen-”

“Not you.” He turns to Francisco. “You.”

Francisco stays silent, and you can see the tears forming in his eyes. Yes, some of it might be the smoke, but also… you know your husband.

“YOU LEFT HIM WITH NO CHOICE!” Fresh fire burst behind you, surely another lamp catching ablaze, circling Will and Jonah’s struggle behind you. 

“No choice?” Santiago laughs, his curls wild and eyes blazing. With a far-too casual saunter, he grabs the nearest lamp, smashing it to the ground. Then, another. Fire burned behind him as he stepped forward. “No choice, Frank? We gave you a home, we saved you, we loved you and this is how I’m repaid?”

To your surprise, Francisco huffs out a laugh. “Love? LOVE? YOUR MOM RAPED ME! I WAS JUST A KID, SANTI!” His voice cracked at the end, but he didn’t stop. “And you? Is that what you call love? Biting me like a rapid dog and cutting me open, forcing me to watch you love Ben the way I wanted to be loved? That’s love to you?”

“And Ben was better?”

“YES!”

“Ben slept with every goddamn person in this place! Ben is the reason this bitch was the only viable option left!”

But Francisco stood firm, his chest shaking as he spoke but jaw set tight. “I am not unaware of what he was. I am not immune to his faults, or yours. But he never hurt me, Santi. And she never did either.”

Santi glances at you before turning back to him. “She can never give you what I did.”

“And thank god for that.”

His face hardened and Santiago drew a knife before charging at you. You were tossed backward by Francisco, shoving you out of harm's way before he tried to set Iris down as gently as possible. Flames grew high on either side of the hall and you realized the four of you were going to be trapped soon. 

“YOU FUCKING BITCH! I SHOULD”VE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!” Once more, he dove for you, but you ducked and dodged, tripping him over and causing him to fall on the floor. Running over, Francisco slid on the floor, pinning his hands over his hand on the old wood floor, flames closing in more and more. You hear three gun shots behind you, and your stomach sinks. Will shot Jonah. That’s all you know. Jonah is dead. Your dad is dead. Rey is dead. If Santiago wins this, you, your baby, Iris and her baby likely are dead. Hell, you probably are anyway the way this fire is going. The crackling burning flames surround you.

 Your mind flashes back 11 year ago. Just a child, a confused, naive child twirling away as her father burned to death because there was nothing else to do. The smell, the sickly smell of human flesh roasting that you remembered from his death, from Rey’s burning, from every burning you attended. 2-years-old. 3 years. 5. 5. 7. 8. 8. 8. 9. 11.12. 12. 12. 12. 12. Dancing, dancing, you took the knife from his hands and straddled his chest. 

I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.

“Yeah, you should’ve”

The knife went straight into his eye. Santiago began screaming, but the alarmed shout from Francisco did not break your concentration, even as he scrambled backwards towards Iris. She held him close to her, both of them watching you do what had to be done.

“I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU!” You scream; even as how howls in agonizing pain you wail down on him, the butcher knife lodging hard into his eye socket and cracking the bones of his skull.

“I AM THE MADONNA!”

You stab his face again.

“I AM THE FIRE!”

Again. His body is shaking under you, blood falling out his mouth just as his eyes.

“I AM YOUR GODDESS AND YOU WILL FEAR MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!” Santiago stops moving, but you don’t stop until you see the inside of his skull.

Small, dark hands stop your mid air. You look up, seeing Iris’s brown eyes holding mixture of concern and fear.

“It’s over.”

You drop the knife, looking at your surroundings. Fire was everywhere. The windows were too tall and there was nothing to climb. Francisco tried to hoist up Iris to the window, but she couldn’t get it open.

It was over.

Iris helps you over to Francisco, propping you against the wall with him. Despite his shaking hands, he held you. Iris knelt between you two, but facing the wall. Her arms draped over both of you protectively, as if she could sacrifice her skin to save you both. You clutched the butcher knife to your chest. Not to kill yourself, no, you’d die with them, like them, but as a reminder of who you were. As if it would protect you from dying the way your father had. It wouldn’t, but the gesture brought you comfort nonetheless. You had cheated death enough times now that you saw his face. He wasn’t nearly as scary as Santiago was.

“LOOK OUT!”

Before you register it was Jonah, his tall form attempting to leap over the worst of the flames. He was on fire.

“DAD!” Iris screamed, scrambling to crawl over to him where he lay, trying to roll off the burning but it was too much on his shirt. He screamed, and screamed, and screamed as his flesh was eaten by the flames. Iris was not deterred. Ignoring the burn, she ripped off him shirt and tossed it to the side where you stamped it out, her and Francisco patting out the rest on his clothes.

Coughing, groaning, but very much not dead yet, he stands, surveilling the scene. There wasn’t much room not being burnt, and the smoke was likely to kill you all before the flames did, so that was a plus. 

You watch as the three of them argue, Jonah refusing to give up, refusing to just believe Iris dies like this. 

But you’d already accepted it.

“We tried climbing already!!”

“SHE’S NOT BURNING LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!”

You look around, look at the fire consuming everything, you look at the only people left that you loved fighting for their lives. You look at Santi, his clothing beginning to catch from the fire he started closing in, taking him over and burning him the way he intended to burn you, like he did burn you and your paintings and your father and your friend.

There was nothing left to do.

So you danced. You twirled, and twirled, and twirled, the pantless brushing your ankles, the hem of your dress puffing out, never letting go of the butcher knife in your hand. You raised your arms above your head or outwards, it didn’t matter. You just needed to dance.

In its own way, the fire was beautiful. The terrifying mystery of it all. It cleansed and cauterized, it killed and mained, but fire didn’t care about human morales and quables. Fire didn’t care that Santiago was evil or Iris was innocent. It wasn’t here to dull out justice. The flame, it was to be used however it was wilded, and if someone, like Santiago, was not strong enough, it would grow beyond their control. 

Santiago was not a leader. You were meant for this. You were meant for the flame. You would die and be born anew.

The new Divine Mother.

Ever since I was a child, I dreamed of fire. I dreamed I was dancing in front of it. I dreamed I caused it, and it was out of my control and now I must dance in the smoke and watch as the flames consumed all the things that I loved.

Sometimes, he stood inside them.

You heard glass sound, and your thoughts of rebirth stopped. Jonah had punched a hole in the drywall. His shirt was wrapped around his fist and the muscles of his back flexed with every punch. He gritted Francisco’s belt in between his teeth and he clenched from the pain. Pausing a few seconds, he used his good hand to knock around, checking for the hollow spaces.

Jonah punched, and punched, and punched, ignoring his own screams of pain, the sound of his bones breaking and still never stopping. Francisco peeled off the drywall where he could reveal where the horizontal beams lay. Then, he hoisted Jonah up. Despite his broken hand, Jonah climbed up the wall via the beams and to the window where he once again punched through it. Jonah did his best to get as much glass off the window, but some would just have to be part of survival. 

“Hurry!” Francisco shouted. There wasn’t much room unburned left. He shoved you toward the wall, but you slapped his hand away and pulled Iris first. She was who Jonah did all this for, she needed to go.

Iris climbed up, gave her dad a quick kiss on the cheek, and he lowered her down as far as he could straddling the window. 

“Are you okay?”

Iris shouted that it wasn’t far.

Francisco tried to help you up, but you shoved him away again. You didn’t need him. Despite the huge belly in front of you and the knife you refused to part from, you pull yourself up, and toss the knife down letting Jonah lower you down as Iris helped you. You fall, but not hard.

As you lay on the grass, you look up at the stars. It was so clear out. Beautiful. Out of the flames, you feel a buzzing in your skin. 

Invincible.

Powerful.

You didn’t fear the fire, the fire was your friend. You were the fire… You were the goddess of the flame, baptized when Santi raped you against the burning pictures…

Thud. Thud.

“MADONNA!” Francisco screamed at you running and falling at your body, ready to hold you if you were hurt.

But you weren’t. You were more alive than ever.

You shove him, hard. Hard enough he falls back before standing again. The knife glimmers in the moonlight, catching your eyes. As you stand, you grab it and stand up, pointing it at his throat.

“Honey…” Jonah tries to talk, but you whip your head to him and Iris. 

“You two need to go.” You nod your head south. “No one will come after you, just take the horses and go to the nearest village.” It was only 20 miles. On the horses, it would be no problem.

“And you?”

You take a deep breath. “I’m staying.”

A clamor of voices rise up, the three of them vocalizing their confusion but you didn’t didn’t care.

You raise the hand not pointing a knife against Francisco’s throat. 

“I was baptized in the fire the day Santiago raped me in it. The fire is my friend, and I am it’s God.”

Iris whispers ‘what the fuck’ but Jonah tries to reason, glancing nervously at Francisco. “I think… I think you need some time to come down from all-”

“THERE IS NOTHING TO COME DOWN FROM!” You turn to Francisco. “What do you think he means? Do you think he means losing my virginity to four men on one night, no preparation, the blood of my hymen waved around for everyone to see? Do you think he means witnessing Ben raping Iris, witnessing Ben murdering Reyansh? The assasination attempt? The months I spent terrified of a succubus that was really my husband rapeing me? ALL WHILE YOU SNUCK OFF TO BENS ROOM AND PRETENDED IT DIDN”T HAPPEN?”

“Madonna-”

“I should kill you.” Tears ran down your face, and you tasted the salty mixture of it and the soot on you. “I should kill you for letting it happen to me.”

He opened his mouth to argue, maybe to bring up the points you and him had brought up to Santi, that he was a victim too… but he knew, he knew he could’ve done more. 

“Everything Jonah did to save Iris today… you wouldn’t have done for me. You didn’t. You didn’t break your hand to get me out, you didn’t run through flames… all you did was be willing to die.”

He nods, eyes wide and wet. His face was several shades dark, smudges of soot on his beard. “I know. I know. You’re right. Just kill me. End it all. All four of us, it’ll be over. You’ll feel better.”

Your lip quivers, and you give his neck a little nick. The drip of blood cleans his skin. “You want to be with them still, don’t you?” his family. His brothers. His lovers. All he’s ever known.

But the determination in his voice startles you. “No. I want to be with you, Madonna but I- I am not worthy.”

Your hand shakes, wanting to slice his neck open, wanting to watch him bleed for all he allowed to happen… but you thought about the meadow, the warm days you spend on the grass with his cock stuffed inside you, the gentle love you both wanted..

The flowers in his hair.

You rip the knife away, millimeters away from cutting him. “Go.” You say, still crying. “Go with them. Be happy. Find the gentle love you deserve because I don’t think that’s me anymore.”

Sounds from across the hill. The fire attracted attention, and people were coming.

“We have to go.” Jonah spoke, holding Iris’s wrist with the hand not cradled to his own limply. He wanted you and Francisco to come, but he’d leave with only Iris if he needed to.

“No.” To his surprise, Francisco drops to his knees. His large eyes gazing up at you in adoration. “Kill me or keep me, I don’t care. Just keep my body close to you. No grave will hold my body down. I’ll crawl home to you once more, Madonna.” He falls to his hands and knees, still looking up at you, a slight arch to his back. “I crawl home to you.”

“I can’t give you what you want, Francisco.”

“Then give me what I need.”

You fall down to him, holding Francisco’s face to your bosom and whisper. “Crawl home to me.”

“Iris, NOW!”

But still, she ran to you, cupping your face in her. “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry.” Was all you had for her. 

Iris gave you a kiss, her chapped lips on yours as Jonah practically picked her up and pulled her away. He looked back at you.

“Send word when you’re safe. Under another name.”

Jonah nods, looking guilt stricken about leaving you. But Iris came first. He looked at like there was so much he wanted to say, the truth about your father, about his life, why those four ended up the way they did… but for another time. It had to be for another time.

“Under another name, Jonah.”

He hobbled off to the stables, burns and broken bones whittling down his aging body but refusing to give up as long as there was Iris to protect. They would still find signs of Reyansh everywhere.

You take Francisco’s puffy, chubby face in yours. He looked so sweet, so innocent. So soft. 

He was yours now, and yours alone.

It would be blamed on rebels, everything. Iris and Jonah would be blamed, it would be easy to connect Jonah to the uprisings. Madonna as the heir to it all, Francisco would proclaim her the Queen of the Fire. She’d give birth to the savior, blonde or not, and they would be the holy family.

You would wield the fire better than Beatriz and Santiago ever could.

You are the fire.

To Ciara. Wherever this may mind her.

man. this ending might be some of my best work. I didn't cry writing this the way i have many chapters and series finales but i I felt for Madonna in a much different way than I did little one in the wrong way; they had very different endings.

Thank you all for coming along this ride with me, esp those who came at the begining. from this series i met one of my favorite people ever, Alicia, which ill always be greatful. A lot has happened since starting. Lost friends. new gender. Im mostly a x men blog now. big things!

But these characters will always be special.

Rey, Iris, and Jonah, my beloved OCs

Madonna, way stronger than ever given credit for.

Francisco my pathetic little meow meow.

and Will, Santi, and Ben, far more evil than i could have imagined when i first drummed up the series.

If you like TF but dont want more dark, come check out the lal universe! its an anothology series, each story is self contained like bridgerton each has a focus, but is better all together. its TF boys x oc, first round is Santi and Laci, second is frankie and jana, third is will and lorelei, and now coming up is Ben and Cam!!!

i honestly didn't quite know how the ending would work out tbh lololololol i tossed around who lives and who dies forever. I knew rey was gonna die, he was created TOO die. Madonna would live, santi will and ben die. I almost killed frankie and jonah. But jonah for reals this time lol. I was gonna have will kill him bc i thought it was fitting with their beef over delilah

ANYWAY.

tell me your thoughts!!!!

if you like logan howlett, check out our gentle sins! if you like joel miller, you might like the wrong way. all can be found on my masterlist.

FInal poll! If you dont have an answer on the poll or you want mulitple, leave what you wanted on comments or reblogl i wont be offended if you wanted something else as long as youre nice

thank you once more for your love and support!!!!

@campingwiththecharmings @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @javier-penas-wifexx420 @stefani-topaz @alwaysmicadoo @mjnomaryjane @incorrectclassicbookquotes @axshadows @ghostslillady @movievillainess721 @justagalwhowrites @charethcutestory02 @pixielouise-blog @gogh-with-the-flow @justafandomgvrl @katw474 @loveable-liar @arrozconpepitoria @minigirl87 @runa-falls @pedge-page @angel-of-the-moons @beefrobeefcal @pixielouise-blog @miraclesabound @oliveksmoked @bubble-pop-eclectic @corazondebeskar-reads @pedroshotwifey @umnitsa @koshkaj-blog @hiroikegawa @mangoslushcrush @withasideofmeg @sub-aro @wand-erer5 @guelyury @readingiskeepingmegoing @winniethewife @femmeanonymelives @yorksgirl @pockcock @neverwheremoonchild @casa-boiardi @meveispunk @survivingandenduring @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @obscurexsorrows @hellfire-state-of-mind @christinamadsen @pimosworld @princessanglophile @rubyfruitjungle @simple-lovebot @missdictatorme @i-need-caffeine-and-a-nap

[thefugitivesaint]

It was 1990, the year the album 'Mystical Shit' came into my life through my strange friend who loved off beat music. His eclecticism, which he had at an early age, exposed me to bands I might not have discovered had I been left to follow my own tastes exclusively. I would love to have him pop his head out to say hello to you dear reader but, unfortunately, he went and got himself addicted to heroin, a relationship that eventually led to his death. I didn't attend his funeral because I didn't know he had died. I didn't know he died because we had a falling out when, somewhere on the path he walked, he got very lost. Somewhere along the way he started to embrace white supremacist bullshit (one among a number of baffling decisions). He knew how I felt about that garbage. The heroin was bad enough, the additional strain of reprehensible politics was the proverbial straw on that poor camel's back. The souring of a very long friendship left associations in its wake that cannot be separated from where and how they were born. When I listen to King Missile* I think of a younger dude with an odd sensibility that was coupled to a wry sense of humor. Before the descent, where I was forced to watch a person gradually erode themselves. Before having to finally admit that there was nothing I could do to help or intervene or stop what was happening. Before having to bid adieu to someone who was part of my life for years. In the divorce I got to keep King Missile and They Might Be Giants and Christian Death and all the other bands this friendship exposed me to. I mourn the loss of who that person was but I also get to celebrate the memory of that person through the music we both enjoyed. (*'Steal Stuff From Work' was a shared mantra and countless zines in Philadelphia in the late 1990s were made for free thanks to the unknown generosity of a former employer. Thanks Kinkos). Anyway, the point here is that this song is a kind of tragedy that also happens to be life affirming. You might lose some friends but you'll get to enjoy some very delicious cheesecakes. Wait, I'm not sure I know what I'm saying here. Look, it doesn't matter, just listen to the song and this last paragraph will make more sense.

[blairbarely]

"If You Could Save Yourself (You’d Save Us All)" is not just a song but a statement of collapse, a reckoning. It belongs to Quebec, Ween’s 2003 album, a project born out of exhaustion, addiction, and the slow erosion of things that once worked. By then, the band—so often irreverent, sardonic, grotesquely playful—seemed to be on the brink of something irreparable. The humor that defined them had curdled. What’s left is this track: sparse, resigned, painfully clear.

The song is about failure, but not failure as an event. Failure as a slow realization. The kind that reveals itself in the smallest moments—a forgotten promise, a missed call, the quiet understanding that the person you once believed in, perhaps even loved, cannot fix what they’ve broken. “If you could save yourself, you’d save us all.” The refrain lands with the weight of inevitability, because we already know that they won’t, or can’t save themselves, let alone anyone else.

The song’s melody is deceptively lush, its softness betraying the severity of its message. There is no anger here, only a kind of suspended grief, the knowledge that sometimes we ruin things not out of malice but because we simply don’t know how to stop ourselves. Gene Ween (Aaron Freeman) sings as though he has been rehearsing this apology for years, but knows no apology will suffice. By the time he delivers it, it feels less like an olive branch and more like a eulogy—something for the living to hold on to after the fact.

Ween’s work has always thrived on ambiguity, but this track refuses to obscure. It is brutally specific and yet universal: a song about a band, a relationship, a person’s own self-destruction, and the collateral damage left behind. It doesn’t ask for forgiveness, nor does it offer it. It just lingers in the air, a reminder that sometimes the things we love most are unsalvageable.

The final line, “I was on my knees when you knocked me down,” lingers not just because of its stark simplicity but because of its layered implications, its quiet devastation. To knock a man down while he’s already on his knees is not simply an act of brutality; it is an act stripped of honor, a deliberate violation of an unspoken rule. A man on his knees is not just vulnerable—he is pleading, resigned, exposed. And yet, this plea is met not with mercy but with force, a cruelty that feels both personal and senseless.

Freeman’s admission, “I was on my knees,” carries its own weight. It is not just an acknowledgment of physical submission but of emotional collapse, of a self-inflicted damage so profound that no external force could truly worsen it. The act of knocking him down becomes almost incidental, a final indignity piled atop his own undoing. There is no victory here, not for either side. To win against a man already brought low is no triumph; it is a hollow gesture, a meaningless exertion of power in a fight that never needed to happen. The line forces the listener to ask: What was the point?

And then there is the voice—the way Freeman delivers the line, with anger, accusation, and with a weary kind of wonder. It does not simply ask, How could you do this to me? It asks something deeper, more existential: What are we even doing here? It is not just about this moment, this act of violence; it is about the futility of the struggle itself. The line is not an ending so much as a question, one that hangs in the air long after the song fades away.

Failure, in Black Sails, is also not a singular act. It is not a mutiny, nor a betrayal, nor a single, fateful misstep. Failure in Black Sails is a slow, creeping inevitability—the kind that arrives not with a bang but with a gradual hollowing out, until nothing remains but the separation of ways. From the beginning, the show has toyed with its audience, upending expectations of what a prequel should be. It is a story of pirates, yes, but it is also a story of myth-making, of lies told to cement legacies, of truths swallowed to bury pain.

In the fourth season of Black Sails the long-standing alliance between Flint and Silver dissolves, and what remains is two men stripped to their rawest forms, their truest natures. Flint burns—consumed by the fire of his need for revenge, a flame that refuses to be extinguished no matter how much it costs him. Silver freezes—his resolve hard and cold, a glacial determination to survive at all costs. Where Flint rages, Silver endures. Where Flint sees the fight as the only path forward, Silver sees the fight as a means to an end, and when that end threatens his survival, he steps away without hesitation.

In the series finale, Captain Flint’s dream for Nassau collapses at the hands of John Silver, the man he knew better than anyone else in the world. Flint makes pleas with his friend, but in the unflinching face of Silver’s resolve, he recognizes the inescapable truth: there is no path left for him to walk. In that moment, the myth collapses into the man, and we see not the towering figure of Flint—the pirate legend, the scourge of Nassau—but James McGraw.

The inevitability of Flint’s failure has always loomed over Black Sails. The audience carries it with them, a specter hovering in every scheme, every alliance, every desperate promise of revolution. We know Treasure Island. We know history. A figure like Flint—if he had succeeded in toppling empires, in rewriting the rules of power and freedom—would not have disappeared into the shadows of either fact or fiction. His defeat is preordained, as much a part of his story as the victories that led him here. And yet, in his final monologue, we see Flint not as a man defeated but as one reshaped, resolved, the sharp edges of his ambition dulled but not broken.

The speech lays Flint bare, revealing the man he has always been—a man who reshapes himself as the world demands, not to thrive, but simply to endure. When he says, “They paint the world full of shadows and tell their children to stay close to the light,” he is not simply condemning the institutions that shaped him; he is acknowledging their complicity in his turn. These forces did not merely fail him. They created him, forged him into the weapon that could be their undoing. But Flint learns over the course of the show that these institutions are even stronger than he once thought, and the only way to combat them is to appeal to his fellow man, trusting that none of them want to live under this tyranny that plagues them.

It’s why he begins his speech with

“This is how they win.”

He’s hoping he’ll be able to appeal to an impulse for freedom in Silver.

He then pleads with his friend-

“You know this. You’re too smart not to know this.”

And still, Flint is also too smart not to anticipate Silver’s answer, the blunt, unyielding, inevitable response:

“I don’t care.”

The words fall like a blade, severing any pretense of common ground. Flint’s argument, built on intellect and fire and an almost desperate need to be understood, collapses against Silver’s cold refusal to engage. Flint has spent his life fighting shadows, believing that if he could just explain, just show the truth to someone who mattered, it might make a difference. Silver’s indifference, his calculated choice not to care, is more devastating than any physical blow. It is not just a rejection of Flint’s plea—it is a rejection of Flint himself.

If you believe Silver’s story of Flint’s end—that Flint agreed to lay down his war and be reunited with his lover Thomas in Savannah—you believe in a man who, in his final act, stripped away the layers of armor, deceit, and vengeance he had worn for so long and became something else entirely: a man willing to let go. It is not a capitulation but a transformation, a quiet surrender that reclaims the humanity he sacrificed in pursuit of his impossible dream. To walk away from the war is not to admit it was meaningless; it is to acknowledge that the war forged him, broke him, and, in some strange way, remade him. In this telling, Flint’s concession is not a loss of nerve but the ultimate act of courage—a refusal to let the fire consume him entirely.

But that is *if* you believe Silver’s story. The alternative—the one the show never dares to explicitly portray—is that Flint refused to abandon his war, that he met his end at the hands of the man who once stood at his side. It is a brutal possibility, a counter-narrative that denies Flint the peace Silver so artfully weaves into his tale. And yet, many believe it. They believe it because the Flint they know cannot stop fighting, because to lay down his arms feels as much a defeat as death itself. The absence of this ending on screen feels less like ambiguity and more like omission, as if Silver—the most potent storyteller in the show—has erased it, choosing instead to craft a version of Flint’s fate that serves his own need for resolution. To speak the truth aloud would be to admit the cost of what he has done, and so he leaves the question unanswered, the war unresolved.

The story of Black Sails was always going to end in failure for Captain Flint. But failure, here, is not the absence of victory; it is the inevitability of a man who fights against a world too vast, too unyielding, to ever truly be conquered. Flint’s story lingers not because of how it ends, but because of what the fight revealed: the fire, the humanity, and the unrelenting complexity of a man who, in the end, is as much a myth as he is a memory.

When the final season of Black Sails was announced, the audience could, for once, feel ahead of the game with a show that delighted in keeping them on their toes. Prequels come with certain obligations, after all. We think we know how this ends, because Treasure Island tells us. Flint and Silver must diverge, not merely ideologically but physically, narratively. This certainty feels like a compass in an otherwise tempestuous sea. But Black Sails was never a show for the obvious course, and its final season delights in using that foreknowledge against us. Every scene between Flint and Silver tightens the noose of inevitability, but it also plants doubt: is this the story we thought it was? Was it ever?

The brilliance of Black Sails is not just in the way it subverts the archetypes of pirates and plunder, but in the way it makes us question the archetype of storytelling itself. Each glance, each confrontation between Flint and Silver, plays out as if it knows we are watching, as if it knows we are anticipating the rift. And yet, when the moment arrives, it does not feel like the triumph of clarity, but rather the shattering of it. The show does not merely end; it folds back on itself, leaving the audience pondering whether the story was ever about truth at all.

This is the kind of brilliance that unnerves because it demands more of us. It asks us to sit with the discomfort of ambiguity, to grapple with the possibility that Flint and Silver’s tale—this grand chess match of ideologies and betrayals—may be just another myth. It refuses the clean resolution we expect of prequels, because it understands that the weight of failure, and the inevitability of parting ways, is not in how it ends but in the echoes it leaves behind. In the haunting thrill of its refusal to play by the rules, Black Sails achieves something rare: it becomes not just a story, but a piece of art that leaves a mark.

[darkcloudsatnight]

Oh, but I know you'll cause me grief

Close friends of mine are in disbelief

As they can see what's underneath

Fluttering lashes, red lips and pearly white teeth

I don't show it but I quiver whenever you come near

And I cannot decipher between the thrill and the fear

I wanna stop it but like it too much to let it stop here

It's wrong but I want you tonight.

It's not my own volition but I fell in deep

By running the distance I've been advised to keep

I trot to the wolf as a doting sheep

It's wrong but I want you tonight

Fear and delight

All the way through the night

With a little derring-do

Oh, I'll fall in love with you

Fear and delight

All the way through the night

With a little derring-do

Oh, I'll fall in love with you

I'm a little boy that's gonna be getting his fingers burned

But I can see this lesson's gotta, gotta, gotta be learned

They say that boys have been destroyed but they weren't

It's wrong but I want you tonight

In any case, my friends, it's too late

Like a moth to light, like a beast to bate

And I know the black widow eats its mate

It's wrong but I want you tonight

Fear and delight

All the way through the night

With a little derring-do

Oh, I'll fall in love with you

Fear and delight

All the way through the night

With a little derring-do

Oh, I'll fall in love with you

I'm an innocent being seduced by your charms

I'm a young boy tickled to death in your arms

Your kisses taste like bitter almonds

It's wrong but I want you tonight

Addiction pulling me to a grave end

You're an enemy who I'm keen to defend

Down the black hole of my lust I descend

It's wrong but I want you tonight

Fear and delight

All the way through the night

With a little derring-do

Oh, I'll fall in love with you

Why is it that I'm keen to be devoured by you

When there's the option of a love affair that's pure and true?

I always choose the dungeon over the sea view

It's wrong but I want you tonight

When I'm out the other side I say never again

But when I'm out and about I wanna find the next vixen

Someone who'll be sure to drive me 'round the bend

It's wrong but I want you tonight

Fear and delight

All the way through the night

With a little derring-do

Oh, I'll fall in love with you

Fear and delight

All the way through the night

With a little derring-do

Oh, I'll fall in love with you

.....

Did

Did that really just happen

Did I rlly just listen to that entire song and read the lyrics off here-

I guess i did

Good

(Great song btw, thanks "anon" >:3 )

@another-delta-lover >:3

[bitter-panacea]

Swallow - Symbiote and Goultard playlist explained

Listen to it here

- Help Me I Am In Hell Nine Inch Nails

No lyrics, vibes only. First contact, contamination taking hold. Hoping for help that will not come.

- Many Hands Lingua Ignota

In unforgiving night, God came. Plainly spoke my given name. The Lord held me by my neck. "I wish things could be different," he wept. Upon your pale, pale body, I will put many hands. And rough, rough fingers for every hole you have.

God loves you but will not help you. There is no escape from the torture. Is it all God's will?

But the kingdom and the power and the glory are yours. The cool and quiet darkness that surrounds you is yours. The fires that swallow up the silent mountains are yours. The floods that drown the deserts and the valleys are yours.

The promise that this suffering is righteous and will empower you (lie)

- Sugarbread Soap&Skin

Identity starts to fracture, slowly losing touch with sense of self, until death of his former self as the Symbiote makes Goultard his.

Ich spür' mich nicht mehr (I don't feel myself anymore). Try to break one's heart in perpetuity.

Lux perpetua luceat eis (may everlasting light shine upon them/ sung at funeral mass)

- Belly Oil Jim Williams Titane ost

No lyrics, vibes only. Not spoiling the movie this is from. An inhuman creature is growing inside the main character's body and black crude oil starts leaking from open wounds on her stomach.

- Ripe (With Decay) Nine Inch Nails

No lyrics, vibes only, title is self explanatory. It grows and consumes all.

- Intent or Instinct Pharmakon

All the Pharmakon songs in this playlist convey something very primal and sensory. A panicked animal with its paw stuck in a bear trap desperately gnawing on its own leg to try to free itself.

- Human Nature Gesaffelstein

No lyrics, vibes only. Dread and subjugation. Accepting his new natural state. There is no way out.

- In My Mouth Black Dresses

Trauma bonding and addiction, blurring the lines of where one stops and the other begins

I don't know what I am, but I want you to show me. I don't want to have the capacity to feel lonely. I want you to destroy me, so I'll feel better. I wanna put you in my mouth. Right in my mouth. Right in my head. I'll never let you out. I wanna become something better with you. I wanna fuck our bodies into broken shells. I wanna lose ourselves forever.

- Body Betrays Itself Pharmakon

Self-destruction in a desperate bid for freedom. To no avail. Internal conflict.

It gnaws on its own tail. Feeding into and upon itself. Succubus ouroboros. Chewing whole to self ingest. It takes what I can't give. The body betrays itself.

- Red Sex (Re-strung) Vessel

No lyrics, vibes only. False feeling of empowerment, ascension. Becoming something new together. Detachment and contempt for humanity. Indulging in cruelty and being feared and hated.

- Day of Tears and Mourning Lingua Ignota

A creature, a beast, a demon. Absolute rage and despair. Leaving nothing but death and destruction in its wake. A cry for help that goes unheard once more.

- Replay Lady Gaga (Dorian Electra version)

It's all a game

Every single day, yeah, I dig a grave. Then I sit inside it, wondering if I'll behave. It's a game I play, and I hate to say. You're the worst thing and the best thing that's happened to me. These demons, these demons, I must slay, I must slay. Never stop, like a song playing and I can't escape. On rewind, on repeat, incessant, all day. Spinning it like you're a DJ, torture me on replay

- Freak On a Leash Korn

Doomed to have everything taken from him. This freedom from society's adoration and expectations is all an illusion, he's still chained, on a leash.

Something takes a part of me. Something lost and never seen. Every time I start to believe. Something's raped and taken from me, from me. Sometimes I cannot take this place. Can't I take away all this pain? I try to every night, all in vain, in vain. Sometimes it's my life I can't taste. Sometimes I cannot feel my face. You'll never see me fall from grace. Feeling like a freak on a leash (you wanna see the light). Feeling like I have no release (so do I). How many times have I felt diseased? (You wanna see the light)

- Turbine Womb Soap&Skin

No lyrics, vibes only. The need for something, anything, to fill the deep dark void inside. Yearning for the warmth of the crimson dofus.

- Mr Self Destruct Nine Inch Nails

Goultard's self-destructive habits. Sort of self explanatory.

I am the voice inside your head (and I control you). I am the lover in your bed (and I control you). You let me do this to you (I am the exit). You let me do this to you (I am the exit).You let me do this to you (I am the exit). I am the needle in your vein. I am the high you can't sustain. I am the silencing machine (and I control you). I am the end of all your dreams (and I control you). I take you where you want to go. I give you all you need to know. I drag you down, I use you up.

- Eternal Nausea Black Dresses

Numbness and illness.

I live in nausea, eternal nausea. In a spotlight shaped like a spiral. I'm in the bible, God's (favorite) (secret) idol. Trying to see the world through the anhedonia. Feels kinda like my soul is burnt. Too late, too late, if only, uh

- Memphisto Depeche Mode

No lyrics, vibes only. Trying to escape is pointless. There is less pain in not resisting.

-Reptile Nine Inch Nails

The symbiote's utter obsession with Goultard, his need to consume him/be consumed by him, is an infection too. They contaminate each other, enable each other. Indulging in depravity.

She spreads herself wide open. To let the insects in. She leaves a trail of honey. To show me where she's been. Oh, my beautiful liar. Oh, my precious whore. My disease, my infection. I am so impure. Devils speak of the way in which she'll manifest. Angels bleed from the tainted touch of my caress. Need to contaminate to alleviate this loneliness.

- Primitive Struggle Pharmakon

No lyrics, vibes only. Desperately trying to purge the poison out.

- Psychic Wound by King Woman

Pretty obvious

Sulfurous possessor, I have succumbed, I'm attuned, Enslaved by the opinions, under seductive rule, Please rescue me, I've disobeyed and I admit I'm chained to you, When I'm spread on the bed you remain the luscious fruit, Help me, I'm so chained to you, Someone tell me what to do, Ah, ah, ah, ah, Feeling like a psychic wound

- Around Every Corner Nine Inch Nails

No lyrics, vibes only. Paranoia. Eyes everywhere.

- The Severed Bond Ludvig Forssell

No lyrics, vibes only. Falling apart. Weakness. The symbiote is going to abandon Goultard.

- One Million Eyes Mansfield T.Y.A

Separated for the first time after 1400 years. Staring at each other from afar.

When you look at me. It's one million eyes. Staring at me at the same time. When you speak to me. I hear lots of voices. Drowning to my ears. When you go away. I breathe your dark shadows. Hanging around my sorrows

- Bitter and Sick One Two

Withdrawal and wanting him back

Shut out the light. Put me through hell again. I miss the fire. Let′s burn the other end. With no end in sight. Come on and break me down. I'll let you ruin my day. Flow through my veins. I need a fix. Bitter and sick. Try it again. Your fingers round my neck. Just how I like. Make me your mess again. Do it tonight

- Help Me Faith Hammock

Parallels Oh the Bliss on the Arty/Goultard Playlist. Arty saves Goultard and frees him from the demon. Arty is the one Goultard worships.

I once was a child with innocent eyes. And my family swore they knew best for my life. And when I grew old. I was riddled with sin. Locked my soul in the dark. Never let the light in. Help me Faith, help me Faith. Shield me from sadness. Lead me to the Bliss.

[zoologicalcartoonvampire]

I basically went on the longest rant on why i hate short form content on discord this morning.. so eh

Ill just share it here

I GENUINELY, SO SO VERY DEEPLY

D E S P I S E

Youtube Shorts (as well as tiktoks, reels and the rest of them)

They are addictive. They are annoying. They are loud. They are obnoxious. They spread misinformation. Low quality content That i cannot run away from. They are worse than ads because at least there everyone agrees they suck and dont CHOOSE to watch that braindead shit.

I was very addicted to Instagram when Reels first started getting introduced. Ive always been anti tiktok, as i always saw right through its addctive and cheap cringe nature, but for Instagram that i was already addicted to, it wasnt so easy to simply not watch them. They are designed to GRAB at you. Pull you in. And KEEP you submerged for prolonged periods of time. Like some fucked up sea monster in a children's nightmare.

I hated it. I hated the content. I hated how overstimulating the videos were and how loud and colourful and random they are, how much information they give, it leaves one COMPLETELY DRAINED afterwards.

I HATED that. Life is for living not for getting addicted to trash on your phone and supporting abusive companies. So i deleted Instagram to save myself from wasting more if my life.

Ofc youtube then decided to implement them. Isnt that so so sweet! <3 /s

Ofc the problem then carried on, but having gone through already quitting insta, i kept trying to find ways of avoiding Youtube shorts.

I had tiktok for a month, simply to try promote my work, i was aware how risky it would be to do that, as i could sense myself letting go of my resistance to scroll mindlessly numerous times. I realized tiktok got me no traction so as quickly as i downloaded it, i deleted it. Out of my life. What a relief.

But Youtube shorts are still a pester. Since deleting youtube (the app) ive only been accessing yt for specific purposes: music or long form videos, which means that bumping into youtube shorts no longer catch me. Yay!

But now i have to dabble with the other ways these fucking god forsaked short form brainsucking 'content' bother me on a DAILYYY BASIS.

NOBODY FUCKING WATCHES THESE SHITS WITH HEADPHONES OR EAR PLUUGS! NO.

OFC NOT.

OUT LOUDDD FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR COMPLETELY RANDOM SOUNDS SWITCH EVERY TWO SECONDS AS IF THAT ISNT THE MOST ANNOYING COLLECTIONS OF SOUNDS ON THE PLANET.

its at home, on public transport, on a meet up with friends, on the street. NO FUCKING PEACE AND QUIET. people just playing the most annoying shit in existence out loud 24/7. TURN IT DOWN ALL OF YOU. YOU GUCKING MORONS. **OH MY GOD.** SHUT THE FUCK UP.

GO FOR A WALK AND LISTEN TO BIRDS OR SMTH. LISTEN TO A FULL SONG. TALK TO PEOPLE. STOP SWIPING ITS ANNOYING AS SHIT. PUT YOUR BRAINROT **AWAY.**

its especially bad with family or friends. Youre there, chilling, they decide to grab out their phone, open up youtube shorts and scroll like a zombie, loudly playing the bullshit on their screen. Thanks. What was a beautiful evening with friends, listening to the trees rustle and the fire crackle has now been overrun by the sounds of music clips, pathetic sound effects and annoying voices of people saying nonsensical statistics. You tell them its brainrot, and that they should put it away if with friends, they disagree arguing that "its not as bad as tiktok"

I. DONT. CARE. (and no its just as bad, you dimwit)

PUT YOUR DRUGS AWAY. I DON'T WANNA SEE IT.

Wake up early for once? Wanna enjoy a hot cup of coffee in silence and just relax?? HAHA. NO?? you cant have that! HERE! your sibling has to come and watch their YT shorts out loud next to you. No thanks!

These fucking shorts Get everyone negative once they get off of them. They promote racist, alt right propaganda. They are always so so negative.

I HATE IT.

I DESPISE IT.

I HATE THAT IT CANT JUST BE RESPECTED THAT I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT ALL THE FUCKING TIME??

I HATE HOW OVERWHELMING ALL THE SOUNDS ARE. I HATE RANDOMLY BEING PUT A PHONE TO MY FACE WITH SOMEONE SAYING "look at this vid"

I DONT CARE!!!!! IM GOING INSANE.

ITS A DRUG!!??!!???!

JUST CAUSE ITS ON A PHONE DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER.

I DONT WANT TO SEE THIS EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME!!!

I HATE IT!

I hate that i cant even go for a walk to the woods to catch a break from the sounds of LIFE and on the way there, if any 'Younger than 30 year old' is about, ILL PROBABLY HEAR THAT SHIT.

I dont think i can express how much i destain it.

How much i hate it.

As someone who put in the effort to not be wayching them myself. I just wish my want of it NOT being forced on me and everyone around all the time could just be RESPECTED.

i dont care if all you people ruin your attention spans and brain capacities. Thats on you.

Just leave ME in peace.

For goodness sake.

[nsuyeula]

Personal Hazbin Hotel Song Ranking bc I ain't sleeping.

1. Stayed Gone

Look - I don't know why - but this duet is just an absolute banger. It establishes so much of Vox's character and his one sided rivalry, as well as shows just how effortlessly Alistor can overpower him. Just is oozing with character and is catchy af.

2. Loser Baby

Not had this on loop as some other songs but I cannot deny just how brilliant this song is in the context of the show. It's the most distinct of all songs in Hazbin, and the message is just a really positive one if you're not someone who struggles with media literacy. As an survivor, it's resonates a lot. The jazz just makes the whole song super comfy.

3. Respectless

This might be a bias pick because I am a huge fan of the musical SIX and this feels heavily inspired by some of their songs. It's a song that utilises it's medium of musical to get a lot of exposition across quickly and rather cleverly. And it just fucking slaps, I almost wish it was longer because I just have it on loop.

4. Hell is Forever

Song two of the show, and it is a great one. Starting the song with the same sounds from Happy Day in Hell to feel very traditional musical while Charlie is talking, and then transitioning into the guitar when Adam starts talking, perfection. It introduces certain characters being associated with certain styles which get utilised throughout the shows. From a narrative perspective, the hard guitar sounds and lyrics get across Adam / Lute / Heavens perspective on Hell and extermination, making them dislikable even while you bop your head along with their singing.

5. You Didn't Know

Another bias pick, but some of my favourite songs in musicals are ones that incorporate songs that have come before into somthing new (Chant from Hadestown and Non-stop from Hamilton), so this song is right up my alley. The constant changing of the music depending on who is talking just amplifies the conflict unfolding onscreen. Was it the most well executed? Perhaps not. But I think summarises really why the music in Hazbin is brilliant and on par with Broadway / West End musicals.

6. Hells Greatest Dad

Omg this whole song is just a Jam. Another rival duet, and it's so over the top, boisterous and silly. Watching Lucifer and Alistor battle it out in a competition of egos, trying to wind each other up, only to be interrupted by Mitzy just yelling at full volume. Not as high because it is rather silly and I think the others utilise the medium of musical more effectively. Still so glad this was included.

7. More Then Anything + Reprise.

One of the few ballads in the show, and it works really well unlike Whatever It Takes (which I'll talk about later in the list). The music itself is simple, and I think that is a positive, it really allows for Lucifer and Charlie's voices to carry the emotional weight, painting a clear picture of their past and them reconnecting. It's emotional, and beautiful.

I'm including the Reprise here because unlike other musical reprises, it doesn't really change much except it being Vaggie and Charlie singing this time around.

8. Poison

When they released Poison I was originally like "Oh they are trying to replicate the success of Addict," and in a way I wasn't wrong. Addict and Poison are great portrayals of Angels character struggles, but unlike Addict, Poison isn't as pleasant a listen without the full context of the scene its attached to (which sounds wrong given the subject matter).

Poison works best when it's being a exploration of Angel trying to cope with the abuse he suffers, but the feel and initial release before the show aired makes it feel like it was designed as a pop song first and a musical song second.

It's still a catchy listen, and works within the confines of the show itself, but that's why it's quite low on the list.

9. Ready For This

My personal favourite of all of Charlie centric / traditional musical style songs. Part of Charlie's over optimism can a little grating at the times, but this song finally is able to present that optimism and the hidden insecure that comes with it wonderfully, and actually makes Charlie feel charming. You can believe this song could rally an entire town, especially with the nods to world war / military numbers. Its a pure musical number that feels like a twisted version of a Disney number - which fits Charlie perfectly.

10. Welcome to Heaven

God so many of songs are bangers. Welcome to Heaven is a number that truly feels like somthing you would hear at a hip and modern church with the electric organ in the background. It has two main problems that kinda contradict eachother. One, it's way to short and two, you could cut it and it wouldn't change anything in the episode, it's rather irrelevant as a musical number. But god does those electric organ get me tapping my feet.

11. It Starts with Sorry

This song falls somewhere between endearing and silly, which I think it's main problem. The music is so gentle and swells in all the right places to elicit emotions within the listener, but outside of Charlie, all the other singers voices sounds like they are attempting to be silly. So the song fails to be a pure balled but isn't chaotic like Hell's Greatest Dad, making it kinda forgettable except for it being Sir P's only song.

12. Finale

Finale is so low because its just...generic.

The sudden change between soft and gentle to loud and powerful is jarring and could have transitioned a lot better. The only interesting part is with Alistors and his spiralling mental state, but again it's such sudden change, especially when youre listening to the song without visuals. It serves its job of wrapping out the final scenes of the series, but it just feels like it's ticking off a checklist rather than being anything.

13. Happy Day in Hell

I genuinely feel nothing when I listen to this song, maybe some mild irritation. Unlike Ready For This, Charlie's blind optimism is grating, and yes I know its her before development and she's suppost to be like that, but you can do optimistic and preppy and it not be annoying, and this song doesn't change that. It's very traditional musical, nothing interesting and honestly very forgettable.

14. Out for Love

You remember how earlier I said Poison felt like a pop song first? Well Out for Love also falls into that pitiful. But unlike Poison, which becomes somthing special and fitting when it's placed in context of its scene. This song just feels random. Overall this scene feels messy and conflicting to what was happening minutes earlier. The song is suppost to show Carmilla deciding to offer her services and Vaggie finding her motivation to fight, but you could have done so many different songs / styles that would have worked better. This would have worked better as a Duet between Carmilla and Vaggie! Instead we just get a song to choreograph a fight scene too - go check out the RWBY soundtrack, it does this so much better with songs that offer so much for character motivation.

15. Whatever It Takes

This song was the only one I didn't save into my Spotify likes. It is the most mismatched, misplaced, and miss potential song out of them all. It's start with an emotional Carmilla explaining what happened during the extermination, turns into a power balled - and then Vaggie joins out of nowhere!!!! It's so jarring and doesn't fit at all, they aren't in the same room, and outside the thin connection of "protecting their loved ones", the circumstances are completely different and even in song form they just don't line up. This should have been a pure Vaggie song or a pure Carmilla song, not a duet. Keep it to purely giving exposition or to explaining character emotions or modifications, blending the two doesn't work.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Happppy Song (SOOOO)

I can't stop self destruction/I can't stop being desperate/I can't stop myself/Dancing with ZZZ grade madness addiction due to the tragic reality melted in the hippocampus/I can't do even simple things/But it's not "I want to be able to do it" but "I want to disappear" anymore/I am happy to be chosen by God/I am happy to be unhappy

"This song,,,,, oh this song. This song fucks me up in a way i cannot describe. Its very loud and busy, for starters. its chaotic in the best way possible and it makes me feel emotions that dont have words. The lyrics are even more fucked up. i can not tell you want this song is about exactly but i understand the message completely. it about being the biggest egoiest possible but also hating everything you are and your life,,, its about believing you are the chosen one because you are unhappy,,,, its about being happy to be unhappy because you believe that there is some greater purpose to it all,,, fucks me up man. Its also just a really good song???? in ways i didnt know was possible???? I want to scream sing this song at the top of my lungs every time i hear it even tho i cannot speak Japanese. There is no meaningful way i can describe this song without missing 50% of the depth it has. the only way to truly understand this song is to just listen to it,,,,,,"

Wham City (Dan Deacon)

"This song has the most dramatic fucking buildup on the planet, and when I listened to it I was transported into another dimension I swear to god. It has a quiet and peaceful buildup, then bursts into flames and tells a wacky story it made up on the spot. I always imagine wandering through a wasteland, leading headfirst into a horrible war of incomprehensible scale and majesty, then once everyone finally dies the world left behind is a shell of its old self and the only living person left hopes that all humanity dies and leaves the planet be forever. God fuck it strips me down to the skin and kills me and makes me cry and I can literally NEVER listen to it unless I am already in a specific mood or state of mind or if there's absolutely nothing else I need to do that day, because it gives me energy to run headfirst into a wall but leaves me sobbing. GOD DAMN."

Happy Song submitted by @helloiamaweirdo

[charthanry]

TAG 9 PEOPLE YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

I was tagged by @hughungrybear :)

THREE SHIPS

Current or all-time? I’ll just go with the three that immediately come to mind:

Pat and Pran, Bad Buddy (obvs)

Steve and Tony, MCU

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, MDZS

*Honorable mention to Jake and Amy from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

FIRST SHIP

Ever? Hmm, before Pacey and Joey it was Anne and Gilbert from the Anne of Green Gables series (books AND Kevin Sullivan’s tv adaptation from the mid-1980s). Gilbert Blythe was my first crush. Anne and Gil’s relationship taught my younger and impressionable self that love was friendship caught on fire and to never settle for anything less; that you can fall both slowly and ardently. Gilbert and Anne set the goalpost for all my future ships, with Gilbert proving that sometimes the nice guy does get the girl.

Also, I cannot imagine a more picturesque backdrop to fall in love in than Prince Edward Island. It’s on my bucket list to visit.

LAST SONG

I’ve been listening to a lot of K-Drama OST lately. I usually have one song on loop for weeks until it wears itself out on my spotify. Last month it was “With You” by Jimin and Ha Sung Woon from Our Blues (fantastic drama btw, I ugly cried in nearly every episode). This week it’s “Goodbye” by WENDY from The Beauty Inside.

LAST MOVIE

I’m embarrassed to admit this, but just yesterday I rewatched Leap Year on Netflix. I shamefully also own the DVD. Gah, *hides face* don’t look at me. 

It’s a cheesy, clichéd, and improbable romcom about an American who impulsively follows her boyfriend to Ireland to propose to him on February 29th. Cue the endless mishaps and series of incredibly manufactured bad luck. She ends up falling instead for the stranger who helps her on the way. The script is silly and absurdly unrealistic, but damn if the chemistry and charm of the two leads doesn’t save the day. 

My favorite scene is when Matthew Goode’s ‘Declan’ wakes up alone on a bus stop bench and realizes that Amy Adam’s ‘Anna’ has left him without waking him to say goodbye. The disappointment and regret in his body language is so palpable that Anna who is standing behind him watching, feels every ounce of his turmoil. She studies him for a beat before breaking the moment with banter. And damn, Matthew conveyed all this just by the way he stands and very subtly slumps his shoulders in defeat. And Anna’s reaction to seeing him this way is just...so telling that you want to shake her and say c’mon girl, you’re chasing the wrong guy. 

It doesn’t hurt that this era of young Matthew Goode is totally my aesthetic. Just look at him. Add to all this the brogue-y accent and WOOF.

CURRENTLY READING

I consume written media the same way I consume music and shows. I devour it. I practically subsist on Ao3 content alone. Lately, it’s been a lot of Red, White & Royal Blue fics in anticipation and giddiness for the upcoming movie.

CURRENTLY WATCHING

I’m in the middle of season 2 of my annual West Wing binge-watch. I’m by no means into politics, but I have yet to discover better American television than Aaron Sorkin’s The West Wing. It’s nearly perfect in its execution.

Currently waiting on a lot of shows to finish airing so that I can binge watch (I’m not making the mistake I did with Bad Buddy by watching it every week, I nearly died). On my list: 

Never Let Me Go

My School President

Crash Course in Romance

Moonlight Chicken

CURRENTLY CONSUMING

Right now? Snacking on Irvins Salted Egg Salmon Skin chips that I got from Costco. It’s deceptively bad for you (high in both cholesterol and sodium content), but the ‘dangerously addictive’ boast on the packaging is wildly accurate.

CURRENTLY CRAVING

Food-wise? A big bowl of homemade pho with all the accoutrements. 

ONWARD TAGS

@depressingly-lonely @hereforlou @reasonablysurmised @aliceisathome @keelpay @inhumanevoid @frostluvrs @faillen @leconcombrerit @rosetintednerdglasses and anyone else that wants to join!

[gyubby99]

A song that lives up to its name? Addict. 'Cause once I listened to it for the first time I cannot stop anymore. Im addicted to the song. I'm an 'Addict' addict.

[alquido]

long-ass king crimson post by person who knows nothing about music

recently started listening to king crimson's discography and i will use this blog to dump my thoughts about it

[i am by no means a music expert or even enthusiast. i just ended up enjoying my experience and typed this up without much organized thought. so, please excuse (or better yet, correct) me if i say anything potentially sacrilegious]

started at the 80s era first, since i a) loved matte kudasai and b) was admittedly intimidated by the 10+ minute songs in the earlier eras

discipline is probably my favorite overall kc album (for now). it has some of the weirdest songs i've ever listened to, and that creativity was its biggest appeal to me.

when i listened to matte kudasai a few months back, i was surprised by how laid back and slow it was, since i only knew kc from a few court tracks. i ended up loving it though; something about belew's voice, the lyrics, and the atmosphere really drew me in.

the way elephant talk is sung and its humorous tone is not something i expected from kc, but it's still an absolute bop. frame by frame was a pleasant listen, but the genius (of the desyncing riffs) only clicked in my head with a relisten (thanks yt comments section!).

i love indiscipline and thela hun ginjeet for how the lyrics are more narrated than sung, somehow it makes them hit harder for me. for thela hun ginjeet, all the instrumentation is just super frantic, i love that most of the lyrics is just a candid recording, it really does emit the vibes of an insane urban jungle.

sheltering sky is chill, ambient stuff isn't really my cup of tea but this one really highlights the drums used throughout this album. i've heard it's from indonesian gamelan, which i have heard a bit of before and it sounds extremely cool (apologies for the non-descript compliment here). discipline sounds so mesmerizing, mechanical and complicated like all the gears in a clock turning.

i listened to three of a perfect pair next, which i thought was a really interesting album because of the harsh differences between the two sides.

i cannot stop dancing to the left side. my head cannot stop replaying toapp, that chorus is addicting to think about and the guitars and bass do good work. model man and man with an open heart are short and pleasant jams in a similar vein to toapp, don't have much to say on them. sleepless, however, is bass heaven (especially the tony levin mix, i can't listen to the normal album version now). highly recommend listening with a good headset with nice bass settings, i felt like something was horribly missing when i used the treble-heavy airpods.

i didn't think much of nuages and industry, they felt like transitionary pieces to me (maybe they'll grow on me, i'm just not used to long ambient songs in rock). however, i do enjoy the vibe that industry gives as an introduction to the right side, like entering the atmosphere of a new, metal-filled wasteland of a planet. those vibes transition very well into dig me. there is something unsettling and dissonant about the instrumental and the lyrics, like looking in the mind of a deteriorating machine. and the chorus comes in like brief moments of lucidity until it starts sputtering out again. it's like a poem with an instrumental backing. great, awesome, everyone knows how i feel about narrated pieces.

no warning is another transitionary piece into larks 3. i had actually listened to larks 1-3 prior to listening to all of toapp, and honestly i liked them all for pretty different reasons. larks 1 blew me away with the nonexistent transition into hard guitar. jaw dropped when i heard that first time; it made for a very good first impression of the whole larks album. larks 2 is literally just the coolest math rock song ever, which is a genre i've listened a bit to before and immediately liked. larks 3 just sounds evil (in a good way) to me, from that hellish guitar intro and how frantic it and the drums sound. all cool songs, i like :)

i listened to most of red too, but i was distracted when i did so i don't remember most of what i felt about the tracks. i do know that i was immediately very impressed with red and fallen angel, but i didn't finish providence and didn't listen to starless until later. i had high expectations for starless, knowing how well-praised it was literally any time it's mentioned.

and you know what, starless is kinda insane. the intro is quiet and beautiful. the middle lulled me into this repetitive sense of security until bruford starts going crazy with the drums. then everyone else starts raising the energy and the mellotron comes in, which is when i realized that my patience has been rewarded, and that people were right when they said this was peak. my favorite part is the last minute, when they reprise the intro into the most glorious ending. i audibly said "what the actual fuck" when i finished listening, it was that good. now i get the whiplash between going from this to 80s crimson; while i like both, the direction is extremely different.

i still have a lot of tracks to go through as of now. i'll probably finish going through the larks album next since i already started, then actually listen to itcotck as a whole. this is absolutely cool stuff, i should get into more prog rock than whatever araki's handed on a platter to jojo fans. also my only current exposure to the kc fanbase being r/kingcrimsoncirclejerk is certainly a choice on my part, but to be fair some funny shit does come from there

tl;dr the more i look at it, the more i like it. i do think it's good. the fact is, no matter how closely i study it, no matter how i take it apart, no matter how i break it down, it remains consistent. i wish you were here to see it. I LIKE IT

[existentialmagazine]

Review: Charlotte Clarke’s debut single ‘yet, I still miss you’ offers a cinematic bedroom-pop experience soaked in the pains of a breakup

Young and upcoming singer-songwriter Charlotte Clarke may just be making her musical scene entrance, but her capabilities show talent well-beyond her fresh beginnings. With cinematic pop production, storytelling lyrics and intimate bedroom pop vocals, her debut single ‘yet, I still miss you’ is a clear reminder not to underestimate anybody, because Charlotte already has it all.

Opened by atmospheric, rich piano keys that linger in the sound like an indicator of emotion soon-to-be-smothered, Charlotte begins ‘yet, I still miss you’ with a moment that’s completely unfiltered. Whirring, backing electronic beats alleviate the melancholia as the verse opens, adding a lightly catchy element to the song’s tender heart. Charlotte’s haunting words complement the tones to a tee, cascading through both vocal highs and lows with a smoothness that leave her addictive words spilling off your tongue whether you relate or not. Somewhere between the ease of bedroom-pop and the ache of a stripped-back sound, Charlotte has created a piece that’s hard to stop listening to, but all-too-real.

As her words flow through the sound with an emotional resonance of her own, Charlotte opens up about the way we often grieve after a breakup, working through the aftermath of betrayal as well as the haunting nostalgia of a dysfunctional relationship. The first line doesn’t hesitate to reveal these devastating feelings either, immediately sharing ‘I can barely sleep, the memories of you and me play on repeat’, mentally reliving what once was and wondering if things could’ve played out differently. It’s hard not to relate either, as Charlotte shares her deepest thoughts like a close friend coming to you for comfort, recalling her breakup that’s all too similar to ones we’ve all likely lived through and felt just as crushingly. Questioning ‘did I really deserve that goodbye?’ , Charlotte finds herself wondering how much of her relationship was truly as it seemed, knowing that a partner who valued her would’ve done things differently.

The pre-chorus falls back to just staple piano keys, continuing this paired-back instrumental air into the chorus where you cannot help but listen to every single one of Charlotte’s painfully spilling words. Drawn-out synth gives it a backed-up moment of grandeur mid-way through too, a theatrical-feeling emphasis that could fill arenas with its magnitude. Admitting how she’s changed and closed up, she sings front-and-centre ‘now I hold up my guard… people don’t get very far’ , yearning for love once again but fearful to allow anyone to reach her. Through all the anger, the resentment and the disappointment, it’s still all-too common for us to want to return to whomever once made us feel safe and known, and Charlotte’s words will surely resonate with all of us for that: ‘feeling exploited, yet I still miss you.’ Knowing better than to go back, it’s clear she still wishes she could, and acknowledging that confusing nonsensical thought is okay.

For many, ‘yet, I still miss you’ will be the post-breakup anthem they needed to get through, a reminder of the many lows and the greater things that await them while allowing themselves to grieve the way they long for someone they cannot have. If that sounds like something you’ve been needing, you can give it a listen for yourself here!

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Unknown

// This coverage was supported and created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.

[nayinyny]

POP POP POP!

POP! a song who gives different kinds of positive vibes that we can feel as we listen to it, a song that is filled with enthusiasm that everyone will definitely enjoy. it's a catchy tune that sticks in your head like glue, and you can never stop yourself from listening to it again and again. a vibrant and upbeat feeling that instantly lifts your spirits and makes you want to dance along. a song that creates a joyful atmosphere, enveloping you in a wave of positivity and excitement. with its catchy melodies and lively rhythm you really can't get enough of it that it will be very impossible to resist tapping your feet, nodding your head, and joining in the vibrant vibe that this song gives. just by listening to the song, the feeling of freedom and a sense of carefree happiness will shiver down to our spine. the colorful surroundings that you will see throughout the music video adds up positive and energetic aura that will definitely give us happiness whenever we listen to it. a playful and joyful beats that makes us alive, the lyrics that hits our heart giving us an unexplainable emotions and feelings, you can't really get enough of the song. other than the playful beats, colorful backgrounds and setting, we can also agree that the choreography of the song definitely adds up a fun and addictive spirit that will make us dance. everything in this song will make your heart pound too much that it will 'POP' from excitement.

it's been a year, time flies so fast that I couldn't imagine how long it has been since my album IM NAYEON was released. the album contains 7 tracks having "POP!" as its main track, and I love how everyone appreciates every songs in my very first solo album. I can still remember how nervous I was, as it is my first time having an album without my teudoongie, but all of those fear that I have felt was replaced with joy and excitement as I have found out how excited my members and my dear onces for this very first solo album of mine. everyone's unwavering love and support has poured a lot of confidence in my soul that I had courage to finish this album even with a bit of doubt in my mind. this album has symbolizes a new beginning for me eventhough I've been with TWICE for years as I have started a journey without my other members. during the set of my music video, I was visited by some of my members, and the word 'happiness' is not enough to describe how happy and grateful I was that eventhough it is my solo album, they are still there to show their love and support for me. I can say that teudoong is really the best, and their love has gave me more confidence to pour in this song. I can't thank everyone enough as I know you guys really gave your support and appreciation to the point that I have received an award.I will forever be grateful to each one of you.

onceu! let's have a throwback, 그럴까? time flies so fast, right? it feels like my solo album was released few weeks ago, because up until now whenever I listen to my song 'POP!' I still can feel the excitement that I have felt during the beginning of creating this album. I would like to thank everyone of you for your support! I was very happy that up until now, a lot of you are still enjoying my song, 누가 그러지 않겠습니까? this song gives a playful and fun vibes to everyone, and I cannot blame you if you can't stop from listening to it. anyways my dear onces, I hope that everyone of you are having fun today, and I hope that everyone of you is taking care of yourself. christmas is also near, and I just want to take this as an opportunity to greet everyone of you a happy holiday! be safe always, 괜찮은? thankyou onceu, 그리고 나는 너희 모두를 매우 사랑한다!🫶