#i can't understand korean but this looks so sad

[lele37]

Yo is that EUNWOL LORE?

[hanniebaeee]

Cherish

Husband Hyunjin x fem!reader

Warning: Smut MDNI

Genre: Fluff/Smut

Summary: Hyunjin doesn't understand what it's like for you - being a stay at home mum for your twin daughters. Until he does.

You get your babies ready as Hyunjin silently takes some bags to the car. You help your husband buckle them up in their car seats and he turns to you, looking miserable.

'Baby, all this over a silly argument?' He asked, making a sad face. 'Can't we just go together? It'll be a good chance for us to all spend time together.'

'Hyunjin.' You say, and he stops at the warning flashing in your tone. 'You know why we're doing this. You said I'm having such an easy time. So yeah, I just want you to have an easy time with your 2-year-old daughters. What's wrong with that?'

He sighed.

'I'm so sorry, jagiya.' He pleads. 'I was an idiot. I was stressed and angry. I just took it all out on you. It's not an excuse, I know. Please, how can I fix this?'

'By taking Mia and Ara on this trip. Spend time with them.' You said, voice stern.

'Promise me, if I do this we'll be ok. Promise me that.' He said, taking your hand and placing it against his chest.

His heart was racing. He was anxious.

'I need you to understand, Hyunjin.' You say. 'This is not a punishment, ok?'

He nods, kissing you hand and then pulling you closer to kiss your lips.

'I love you.' He said, his hold on you is tight.

You nod and feel your heart sink as you look at your girls.

'Say it. Say it back.' He said and you could hear how desperate he sounded. He was afraid that you'd be gone when he got back. He was afraid to lose you.

'I love you, Hyunjinnie.' You whisper and he stays still for a minute before removing himself from you forcefully and walking to the driver's seat. You take this time to kiss your babies and tell them to be nice to daddy.

Tears sting your eyes as you watch your husband drive away. Going back to the house, you sit and cry. You couldn't help but think that you were being a bit unreasonable with him. This was all over a stupid fight that happened when his parents were over.

It was understandable that he was exhausted after a day full of practice and things, but it gave him no right to call you lazy and 'lucky to be at home all day'. You had never seen his mum so mad before. She snapped and scolded him in Korean - you were still at the basics, so you didn't really understand what she was saying. But her tone suggested the content quite well.

Hyunjin was in tears and he walked away, skipping dinner and you felt terrible for the entire thing.

His mum called you a while after he left to see if everything was ok.

'I still feel like this was a mistake.' You say sadly. 'I mean, I know that he didn't mean what he said.'

'He needs to understand what you do for him and babies, Y/N. Sweetheart, you spend the entire day home with your kids. You don't get a break at all. You don't complain so he doesn't know how you feel. I know this will be a good opportunity for him to learn what it's like to take care of two little children all on his own. You'll thank me for this. Ok? Now, stop brooding and go spend time with your friends. You deserve this break.' His mum said.

You speak for some more time before you hang up and decide to call your best friend, Jisoo. You plan things for the weekend and though you miss Hyunjin and the girls, you have a good time with Jisoo. You realize how much you have missed this.

Hyunjin sent you pictures of them playing and having a good time at the cute Airbnb they had rented next to a woodland. He seemed to be doing ok, and you were glad. What you didn't know was that Hyunjin was a tearful mess - he had no idea what he was doing even though you had given him instructions for literally everything. The babies were a handful and he felt so ashamed of himself for the way he spoke to you.

It was around 10:45 pm when you decided to go to bed. You had showered and done your bedtime routines before finally settling down under the duvet. It was raining heavily and you were a bit worried about Hyunjin's long drive back home the next morning. He was planning to start early in the morning, but if it continued to rain, he would have to wait it out before driving.

You tried to push these thoughts out of your mind and concentrate on your book when you heard your doorbell. You wondered who it could be this late and in this weather. Just then, your phone rang. You saw Hyunjin's name on the screen and quickly pick up.

'Hey, baby, open the door.' He said and you could hear his fast breaths.

'You're here? In this weather?!' You ask, running to get the door.

You yank the door open only to see him, drenched and shivering.

'Oh my God! What happened?! Where are the girls?!' You ask, looking behind him and then back at him, worried.

He stepped in quickly and closed the door behind you.

'Hyunjin! What's going on?' You ask, way too afraid now.

'Y/N, I dropped them off with my mum.' He said, taking off his wet jacket and dropping it on the floor. Water dripped from this long hair, and some drops slid down is face and neck. He takes his shoes off next and then his socks and leaves them on the side as well.

'Oh?' You said, and nod. 'Ok... but why?'

'I... I just wanted to be with you.' He said softly. 'Alone.'

You nod again, cheeks warming up and heartbeat picking up the pace. It's been a while since you felt this way. He kept looking at you, now running a hand over his face to wipe away some of the moisture.

'You should change. You'll catch a cold or some-' Hyunjin just stepped forward and pressed his lips to yours. Arms around you, he kissed you nice and deep. His tongue slipped into your mouth, and he moaned softly, tilting his head for a better angle.

You pulled back to breathe and he just looked at you with so much love, you felt really - nice.

'Is everything ok?' You ask and he nods. Then he scoops you up in arms, one hand around your waist and the other under your knees. You arms go around his neck and you squeal in surprise.

'Hyunjin!' You say, giving him a wide eyed look. He just smiles and starts climbing the stairs, up to your bedroom. Once there, he places you slowly to the edge of the bed and kneels down in front of you.

'I'm so sorry, jagiya.' He says, sadly. 'I'm so sorry for being an asshole and saying all those things to you.'

'It's alright Jinnie.' You say, cupping his face with your hands. 'I'm not mad.'

'You should be, though. I'm so ashamed of myself. I mean, I can't believe it didn't occur to me the kind of effort you put into our family every single day. Mia and Ara, they're amazing and it's because of you.'

'Baby, we're both good parents.' You try to reason with him.

But he shakes his head and says, 'I didn't teach them to brush their teeth or put on their shoes or eat on their own. You did. All alone. Damn, they can identify all the dinosaurs. I don't think I can pronounce one name right. How did you do all that? These two days - all I could think of was how proud I am of you. I'm so damn proud to say you're mine and of everything you've done for the babies.'

'I also realized how hard it is to look after two toddlers. They drove me up the wall in less than two hours since we reached the cottage. I mean, I don't even know how you do it. I don't know how.' He continued with a smile.

You realize you were crying only when Hyunjin reaches out and wipes the tears off your cheeks. 'I love you so much and I promise I'll never disrespect you ever again. If I do, I want you to divorce me. 'Coz seriously-'

'I'm not going to divorce you, Hyunjin.' You said with a laugh. 'I love you way too much for that.'

'I love you way too much too.' Hyunjin said, and ran his fingers through his damp hair.

You get up from the bed to get a towel and dry his hair. He sat with his head on your lap as you did so. Once done, he stood up and started stripping. You sat still, blushing and unable to look at him as discarded his clothes and stepped closer to you.

'You know what else I realized?' He asked, moving you to the middle of the bed.

'What?' You ask.

He hovers over you, and says, 'That you're so fucking hot. You carried my babies inside you. You brought them into this world. And you're doing such a good job being their mum and being my... everything. I don't think I would still be doing what I love if it weren't for you, taking a step back for us all.'

And you realize how much you've been craving his appreciation. You sob as he says sweet things to you and then he's on top of you, kissing you like he's never had a chance to do so before. His hands brush along your thighs and he lifts your night dress up and over your head, tossing it aside. He kisses your neck and collarbone, while he discards all of your clothes.

He takes his time with you, worshiping your body and pleasuring you with his mouth and fingers before finally you've had enough and told him that you wanted him.

He didn't need to be told more than once and he was in you, in the blink of an eye. Soft words of love and sounds of passion filled the room. You whined as he picked up pace, going a bit faster, his own body nearing it's high. He kissed you over and over again, and finally you came - shaking and gripping on to him tightly. You were clearly overstimulated and you shiver as he goes faster, chasing his own orgasm.

He pressed his face to your neck as he came, his soft groan giving you goosebumps.

'Oh my god, I missed you so much. I missed us.' He mumbled, nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

'I missed you too Jinnie' you whisper, turning your face to kiss him again.

You both stay tangled in each other and the sheets for a while before showering together and going to sleep.

Your side of the bed was empty when Hyunjin opened his eyes. With a whine, he got up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants before walking downstairs to the kitchen. He could hear your voice and you were laughing at something. His eyes are barely open as he steps into the kitchen and sees you standing by the hob, cooking. There is a glow on your face and he smiles seeing it.

He comes behind you and gives you a back hug, kissing you neck lovingly.

'Hyunjin!' You hiss, trying to step away and that's when he heard a little voice saying, 'Dada!'

He jumps back and turns around to see his mum looking at him with the most bored expression on her face.

'Oh my God! What are you doing here?!' He asked, trying to cover his bare chest.

'I brought the kids home.' She said pointing at the said kids.

'I thought I said we'll let you know the time?' He said, blushing.

'Hyunjin, don't be rude!' You say, slapping his hand.

'Their mum called and wanted them back. What am I to say?' His mum said with a shrug. 'So I brought them in, even though she said she'd come and get them. Now, please go wear a shirt.'

Hyunjin just huffs in annoyance before walking out of the room.

'I'm so sorry for that.' You say, hoping you weren't blushing too much.

The older woman just smiled at you.

'I just want to see you both happy.' She said. 'I told you it'll work.'

And she looked so smug, you had to laugh. Hyunjin came back with a shirt on and saw you both laughing.

'What's so funny?' He asked and his mum said, 'Mind your own business, boy.'

'That's not very nice.' Hyunjin said, going and picking up his daughters - one in each hand. But he was genuinely so happy to see all his girls happy and smiling.

Especially, you.

a/n: Hyunjin's mum is the star of the show. Ok bye.

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #7] Sex With An Ex

warnings: sad girl hours!! backstory!! wahoo!! reader gets a nickname (byeol (means star in korean)). enter stage left: KIM SEOKJIN. no smut but references back to things said mid-shag. first mention of jk’s lip ring flipping (i think (first of MANY)). very emotionally hurt reader :(

soundtrack:don’t know how to keep loving you - julia jacklin; 3:00 am - finding hope; blender - 5sos

wc: 6k

bd total wc: 540k (on-going)

minors dni | AO3 | series masterlist 

A frigid early morning breeze dances around Jeongguk's bare legs. The hairs stand on end, in protest of the fact he's elected to wait downstairs by the entrance of his apartment.

He knows you're in a taxi - had sent you his address, and had been sent a message back a few moments later saying 'omw', but he isn't sure if you remember which floor he's on, nor which apartment is his. It's almost as if he didn't put a decal sticker that resembles Iron Man's Arc Reactor on their doorbell.

Jimin is yet to notice it.

You had giggled, still tipsy, when you'd spotted it on the night that Jimin had taken you back to their place, but can barely remember it, now.

And so, Jeongguk waits for you in the cold, hands bunched into the pockets of his shorts, a white shirt hanging off his broad shoulders, which are slightly hunched over. He's trying to preserve heat. Wishes he was wearing socks. Will blame you if he gets sick.

Yet when your taxi rolls up - and he's squinting from the headlights, eyes a little puffy from his lack of sleep - he knows that you're not in the mood to be blamed for anything. There seems like there's a weight on your shoulders as you thank your driver, making sure the door is shut before turning to face Jeongguk.

Posture sloped, you don't carry yourself like you usually do. Normally spritely, you seem quite the opposite now.

Your lips are thin as you smile.

He reciprocates a similar countenance, his lip ring flipping up ever so gently as he does it. There's something sweet about it, and it always makes you feel a little warm, normally, but you can't bring yourself to be endeared by it right now.

He walks to meet you - just a few steps across the ground floor parking lot - and wraps his arms around your shoulders. Doesn't let the hug linger for too long. Isn't entirely certain it won't make you cry.

"You're missing your disco, Byeol," Jeongguk says tenderly as he looks down at you, taking note of the fact you're without your signature makeup. He's so close he can count your lashes, and not a single one has a trace of glitter. You ignore the connotations of how he replaces ball with byeol. You're not sure how deliberate it is.

A familiar heat tickles at your lash line. With a sigh, you shrug. Look down at Jeongguk's hands, which are picking loose hairs from your shirt.

They're so acquainted with you now that you notice a graze on his finger that wasn't there the last time you'd hung out. Wonder how he got it. Hope he's okay, and that it didn't hurt. It's just a scrape from an awkward bottle cap. Nothing to worry about.

When your eyes finally meet his, you're surprised by how brutal his stare is. Eyes dark, there's no stars in them. His sharp jaw seems particularly tense, nose pointed and dewy beneath the moonlight. Behind him, the lobby light cuts out.

He swallows, dropping his hands from your shirt as his body turns to set the motion detector off again.

"Can we go inside?" you ask, quiet as a mouse.

Jeongguk doesn't understand why you're being so timid with him. He's not a fucking cat. You aren't his prey.

He just nods, though. "Of course."

The shrill beep of his entryway door code being punched in makes you feel like heaving. Everything is a little too much - which is why, when Jeongguk presses the button for the elevator, you ask if you can take the stairs instead.

"Sure," he says, a little taken aback. He normally takes the stairs himself, but thought you wouldn't want to walk up twelve flights of stairs. "We're pretty high up."

"S'fine," you say as you head towards the staircase. It's dimly lit, motion sensor lights flickering alight as you approach them. "Need the walk."

He chooses not to engage in conversation. Your words feel coded, and he isn't sure he's able to decipher them. Doesn't wanna risk saying the wrong thing when you're in a mood that feels so unfamiliar to him.

He's seen grouchy. Seen you unhappy. This isn't like that.

This is something different entirely.

He doesn't speak until you're on the staircase that exits on his floor, but his tone is gentle. "This one."

You nod, as if you knew.

Truth is you didn't. In fact, you kind of wish he'd just let you walk up to the roof. It'd be impossible to see the stars this close to the heart of the city, but at least you could pretend that the planes were cosmic calamities; shooting stars to make new wishes upon.

The lead is taken by Jeongguk until you reach his apartment.

He tells you Jimin is asleep, but that his room is at the opposite end of the apartment, so you can talk in there. He takes your silence as agreement, and holds the door open for you.

Shoes off by the entrance, he rests his palm on the top of your back to guide you through the dark apartment. It's how you remember it, the only difference is that Jeongguk's wearing a shirt this time.

When you reach his bedroom door, he pauses.

"If you say one mean thing about my sculpture collection, I'm throwing you out the window," he whispers, which does admittedly make a laugh stammer in your chest.

Makes you curious, too.

Hadn't envisaged him as a fine art type of guy.

He'd look good in your cafe, you think, in the corner with the clay, dried grey specs on his honey skin. You'd give him the olive-coloured apron, if he ever visited, because you think it'd suit him. Would watch with a lazy grin from the counter as he got to work on his project. Would sit with him during his breaks and colour in his tattoos with posca pens. Would be nice, you think.

But those thoughts are washed away like heat in a summer rain when his door opens and you see what he really means.

You don't mean it to be, but the laugh you let out is so fucking obnoxious. Jeongguk's hands go to shush you, one on the back of your head, the other over your mouth - but he's giggling, too.

"I told you not to be mean!"

You can feel him grin against your hair, keeping close so that he can keep his voice down. He doubts Jimin will stir, but it's worth it to hear your happiness. Jeongguk loosens his grip on you, turning back to click his door shut, and lets you meander over to his collection of-

"These are action figures, Gguk."

"They're sculptures."

"Toys."

"Collectibles."

"Collectible toys."

He purses his lips as you turn around to look at him. His arms are folded, nose a little scrunched, desperately not wanting to admit defeat.

"Look, they're really fucking expensive!"

And then you're laughing again, at how bloody ridiculous he is.

It somehow comes as no surprise that Jeongguk would have comic book figurines in perspex boxes, neatly stacked like a museum exhibition in the corner of his bedroom - just like it makes perfect sense that there's a chess set next to a computer that looks like it's worth your monthly salary.

"Can I-?" You cut yourself off as you gesture around the room.

"Go for it," Jeongguk says as he takes a seat on his bed, letting you wonder freely, taking in all that he is. He thinks you need a distraction, and he's to provide that. Knows you'd do the same if roles were reversed. In fact, it gets him wondering what your bedroom is like. He'll consider the what-ifs later. Too busy watching you, now.

A reed diffuser sits atop a pile of unread books on his bedside table - ones he swears to Namjoon that he'll read, but never seems to get around to doing so. The scent is black cherry, but there's another on the far side of the room which is fresh cotton. Nothing is ever entirely straightforward with him, but it's kind of why you like his company.

"This one is good," you muse, tapping the spine of one of your favourites - Cho Nam-Joo's Kim Ji-Young, Born 1982. You've the same book on your shelf at home. There are a few you don't recognise, so make a note to ask him about those another time.

His bed is made, but it's just as ruffled as his dark hair, which sticks out a little on end. You meet his eyes as you scan the room, and find that there's a small smile on his lips. You reciprocate it, hoping it's enough to distract him from the fact you're not quite yourself.

"Wanna sit?" he asks, knocking his head to the space beside him.

You don't think you do. You don't want to really be close to another person, not physically.

Something about him makes it hard to refuse such an offer, though. You find yourself nodding, even when you don't mean to.

He shuffles a little further up his bed, falling down onto his back to stare at his ceiling again. His legs hang off the side of his bed, hands intertwined across his chest.

You follow suit. Legs up, knees bent, feet by your ass, you copy his hands as you stare at his ceiling, too. Above you, his origami birds flutter gently in the aircon breeze.

"You make them?"

"Mhmm."

"They're pretty."

"Pretty lame," he snorts, very much aware that it's not the coolest thing to have in your bedroom as a twenty-five year old man, almost forgetting his glorified doll collection.

His sheets are soft, but there's still a slight crinkle as he turns his head to look at you. Though you feel his gaze, you don't look back.

"No disco balls tonight?"

The question is expressed so tenderly that you can't help but swallow back the flounder in your diaphragm. Your head slowly shakes, but you're still looking up at the birds. Part of you hates that he associates you so damn closely with that fucking glitter. Part of you quite likes it, too. Makes you feel seen. Makes you feel vulnerable.

"Why not?" He asks.

"Just 'cause," you whisper, not intending on giving an answer of substance - but you're upset, and it's a topic of contention that has been eating away at you for so long now that you can't help yourself from biting a little bit. "Sometimes it's just not very mature."

Jeongguk snorts. "You're talking to the guy with a figurine collection."

And then you're smiling, because his self-awareness is not only refreshing but incredibly endearing. He doesn't take himself seriously, and it's why you like his company. One of the reasons, at least.

But then you're thinking about how nice it is to laugh with someone for the simplicity of feeling a shared happiness, and you can't help but let the truth slip out.

"I used to date a guy," your voice lingers on your words, before you sigh and continue. "And he was so cool, yanno? So smart, and mature-"

The emphasis on the word, and the fact you're repeating it, tells Jeongguk all he needs to know about exactly what's happened tonight. Not once have you ever cared for looking older than you are, content with having fun thanks to the freedom of your twenties. In the time that he's known you, the topic of maturity has only ever been mentioned when you berate each other for being stupid.

Your compulsion to seem mature now is telling. He knows where you've been. Who you've been with, even if he doesn't know exactly who he is.

"- and he was just... you know people who have shit figured out? He's like that. He's older. Wiser." You pause, but Jeongguk lets you keep talking. His eyes are on the ceiling now, too. "Anyways, glitter annoys him. Gets on his clothes and then apparently it's a bitch to get out but I'm so used to it that I never notice it-"

"It's not a bitch to get out."

"And like, he's just, mature, yanno?"

"Yeah, you said that."

"So," you shrug your shoulders into the mattress. "He doesn't like glitter."

There's silence as Jeongguk thinks about what the fuck he's supposed to say to that.

In his eyes, you are glitter. Called you Byeol earlier 'cause you remind him of fucking stars. Feels a bit stupid for it now, but he's hoping you misheard.

He has to bite on his cheeks to stop himself from saying some scathing remark. 'So he doesn't like you, then?' reverberates in his head. It's harsh, he knows, but he wants to say it because he wants you to realise how terrible it is to change yourself for someone like that. And for what? It obviously didn't go well if you've ended up here.

But you are here. And he knows he's right - things can't have gone well. You're probably already feeling like shit, and who is he to make you feel even worse?

He can't be putting you through the wringer like that, but he's perplexed at the idea of you being so invested in someone who is quite clearly unbelievably wrong for you.

He's been in your position before.

Knows that him being a prick will only cause more damage.

And so he's kind, instead.

"I think it suits you," he says. "The glitter, I mean. You look fine without it, but it does really suit you."

You lean your head to the side, trying to get a read on his face. He just keeps on looking at the birds.

There's a harshness to the shadows on his face, painting him in greys. You don't realise it, but you're just the same - shrouded in the darkness of the night. His bedroom curtains are open, but the city lights aren't that bright at this time in the morning. Without the glitter to catch in what little light there is, your spark is dulled.

"You're just not used to seeing me without it," you say with a smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes.

He lets his head fall to the side, mirroring you. Strands of hair fall over his forehead, obscuring his eyes, tickling at his lashes. You reach over and knock a couple out of the way, trying to disregard the weight of his gaze. Deciding it's impossible, you look back up to the ceiling.

"You saw him tonight?" Jeongguk asks.

All you do is nod, because you're pretty sure you'll cry if you try and speak. The way your lips press together, brows tight above your pitiful eyes is painful to watch. You take a second. Take a breath. Wait for the next question.

"You slept with him?"

Jeongguk feels bad for the leap in questions, but he knows he's getting nods or shakes, and he want to get to the root of why the fuck you're ending your night in his room instead of with the guy you've been hung up on for months. Doesn't know his name. Doesn't care to know it. Thinks he's a prick.

A wallowing sadness sits in his chest when you nod your head, not for himself, but for you. He's never seen you like this. Never knew someone could have so much power over you.

Headstrong is all he's ever known you to be, but he feels like one of the King's men trying to put bloody Humpty Dumpty back together again.

You swallow back the sob that's causing a commotion in your oesophagus, as if the movement doesn't remind you of his hand on your throat.

God, you wish you could just stop thinking about him.

You think it would have hurt less if he'd have taken a knife to it.

Instead, his hands had been so warm and gentle, that you thought it meant he was trying to reclaim the space that used to hold a necklace with his initial.

Jeongguk doesn't want to ask the next question, but knows that as your friend - as a duty of care - he has to.

"Did he..." Jeongguk pauses, unsure of how to phrase in a delicate way.

"No," you finally, say, because you know where it's going. "He didn't hurt me."

"You've been crying," Jeongguk objects.

"Didn't hurt me like that."

He nods, accepting your response. Still has no idea what to fucking say, but he never does around you. S'why he always takes a moment or so. Brain just doesn't work when you're around.

"You wanna talk about it?"

To talk means to cry, and you don't really wanna do that. You glance over to him, and watch the way he's nibbling on his bottom lip, toying with his ring. Eyes still on the ceiling, Jeongguk pretends not to notice. You're both good at that. Pretending.

The silver of his jewellery - his piercings, his thick bracelets, the chain around his neck - just reminds you of the earrings that you're wearing.

They're dainty. Pretty little hoops. Intricate leaves trail around the smooth shape, tiny sparkling stones catching in the light. You'd worn them deliberately. Had hoped he'd notice.

Not Jeongguk. You couldn't really care less for what he did or didn't notice about you.

You'd worn them for Seokjin.

Had been wearing them since he messaged you midweek - I'm in town at the weekend. Will you be around? - and now you kind of want to rip them out.

You'd hoped he would remember the trip you took together to Gyeongju. Your third time visiting the city together; just before autumn was about to settle into the earth, rusted leaves sinking to the ground, like the blossoms during the spring. The cyclic nature of the seasons used to make you smile. 

Just like he did, in the old Hanok where a silversmith crafted twisted hoops in front of your very eyes. He told you he'd buy you the entire store when he finally became a big shot. Settled for a tiny pair of silver hoops, instead.

They're the ones you're wearing now. The ones you hoped he would notice.

But he didn't notice. Not tonight. Not once. Not even when his lips were on your lobes, nor when his hands were on your body, his voice quiet in your ear as he'd told you tall tales about how much he'd missed you.

His voice had been so soothing at the time - "still take me so well, darling" - like aloe on sunburn - "like that. Fuck, darlin', like that" - but you realise now he was just covering you in deep heat. "Uh- shit. You always been this tight? Fuck. You're gonna make me cum so fucking hard."

Only a matter of time until he was scalding your skin all over again. "Shit." Scorching. "I'm there." Tarnishing. "Take it all for me, take it- ugh. Yeah, that's it. Good girl. Good fuckin' girl." Destroying. "Fuck."

And oh, what a scar Kim Seokjin leaves on your skin.

His handprints are warped all over your body. You're red in the wake of his touch, sandpaper palms scrubbing away at the efforts you've made to heal yourself in the past few months. Your cracks are showing again, and you're not wearing any glitter to fill the gaps.

You're broken, and it shows.

You swallow a little harshly, tongue licking your dry lips before biting down on them. Lashline warming again, you simply shrug. His duvet rustles beneath you. "Not much to talk about."

"We both know you wouldn't be here if that was true."

"But it is," you say with a fragile laugh. "He came over, and then-" Your voice cracks. "And then he left."

Should have seen it coming, really. You reap what you sow.

Jeongguk knows you never stay. Learnt it pretty quickly. Didn't ask too many questions about it. Never occurred to him that maybe you'd ever want someone else to stay, instead.

"I... ," you mumble as you try and think of the right words to say. Your cheeks are a little damp, and you know that Jeongguk knows you're crying, even if he isn't looking at you, but what's the point in pretending anymore? "I really thought that it wasn't me, yanno? I thought other people were the issue."

One of the birds he's watching catches on the wings of its neighbour, awkwardly straggling before falling back into position. Jeongguk thinks he should cut them all down.

"What do you mean?"

"The whole..."

When you pause, Jeongguk looks over to you. Your face is a little scrunched up, feeling awkward about such an admission. It makes him laugh how you can appear so pitiful and yet still so classically you. You laugh too, stuttering on your breath, using the back of your palm to dust away some of your tears.

"The whole intimacy thing," you finally continue with a small smile - because if you don't laugh, you will cry. "I thought that other people were the issue; that they didn't compel me to stay. I never once thought that it was me. That I was the issue - but I can't even fucking compel the guy I thought I'd marry one day to stay. It's me. I'm the fucking problem."

You're smiling as you finish talking, but it fades quickly. Withers like the flowers Seokjin had bought you on the evening he'd broken up with you. There's still one pressed between the pages in your journal. Petals plucked. He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. He loves-

"You're not a problem," Jeongguk says, eyes hard as they look to his ceiling. His hands are still linked over his stomach, but he's resisting the urge to pace the room. He needs to wrap his head around what you're saying, but can't do it when he's sitting still. Needs to walk in a circle to try and find where the fuck it starts. Doesn't make sense to him how you're blaming yourself for your ex not staying. He chooses not to speak about him, instead trying to help you make sense of why you leave. "You don't stay at the end of your hook-ups 'cause a purpose is served. It's like how you don't stay in a restaurant after you eat your dinner."

"But you do," you say, as you cross your legs and clamber to a seated position. Jeongguk remains in place, and you notice just how perplexed he seems. "You have your dinner, maybe even dessert, and then what? You talk. Enjoy other's company."

He sits now, too. "Okay, maybe it was the wrong analogy-"

"It's not. It's entirely correct. Gguk, I-" you sigh, shoulders lifting to your ears and falling again. Exasperation pollutes your features.

You've given the topic a lot of thought, but never shared your conclusions. It's all a bit daunting.

"You...?" He encourages.

"I never stay, because I never want to give anyone the same power that he had over me. Never want anything more than casual sex, cause it can't hurt me." You voice is bereft, a small pitiful laugh punctuating your words. "How fucking sad is that?"

You're speaking so quietly that all Jeongguk can do is listen as your words slip into in ears and get all jumbled about inside his head. He needs time to reorganise them; to understand what you actually mean.

"I have so many rules and restrictions that it's barely even sex these days, more... a transaction? And yet when Jin messaged me, I fucking folded. Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir. I..." you tail off, but Jeongguk doesn't push for more.

Just waits till you're ready - and when you are, you speak at such a speed it's almost hard to understand a single thing you're saying.

"I let him fuck me like he still loves me. Do you have any idea what that does to a person? How much it can fuck with their head? I broke down all of my walls, because he used to make me feel so safe and for some reason, I told myself it would be okay - but then you messaged and - fuck."

You look down at your thumbs and shrug, a deep sigh exhaling from your very soul, as if your bones are creaking beneath your skin.

"When you messaged, I woke up and he wasn't fucking there. He'd left. Treated me like how I treat my transactional shags. And I mean, maybe it's my own fault, maybe I deserved it, but fuck. I let him kiss me. I let him... I let him fuck me like he meant it, and then he left as if I meant nothing to him."

By the time you finish venting, Jeongguk looks so bewildered that he actually seems scared. You look back down to where your thumbs are twiddling, shameful of your own emotions. A pitter-patter of tears hit his duvet, and you just let them. You're not crying. Not sobbing, at least. Just tearful. Bamboozled by your own feelings.

Jeongguk's at a loss for what the fuck he's supposed to do.

He's never been the kind to comfort his friends. Isn't really sure how the fuck he's supposed to comfort you. He's no stranger to crying girlfriends - he's had a few of those - but this isn't like that. He can't just kiss it better, not that he'd want to. Be like kissing Jimin at this point, he tells himself.

And either way, it's so unbelievably inappropriate to even think of something like that when you're literally in front of him in tears over another bloke. His mind is just wandering because he's panicking, but oh god, you're crying still and how the fuck do you have so much liquid in your face? Surely you'll wither up? He's not sure he's ever seen a pair of cheeks so wet.

But then you shrug, and sniff back the tears. Purse your lips. Press them together so tight you can't make a sound. And then you look at him and say, "I'm sorry. This is, like, so much. I didn't mean to be such a big fucking cry baby I just-"

"Hey, no," he protests, face contorted with a little disgust. He can't believe you're apologising for this.

Jeongguk's no stranger to a complex. He's got one wrapped around his pretty pink brain like a metal chain, padlocked where his desire to take chances should be. The fear of rejection outweighs any possible good that could come from going after the things he wants - and as he watches the way your smile quivers before it falls into a quiet sob, he knows exactly what his fear is trying to save himself from.

And so he just gently smiles, and says, "it really fucking sucks when the people we love don't love us back."

You nod. "Fucking sucks."

He's only known you for a couple of months. Doesn't know who you were before your ex; only the after. But he quite likes who you are now. Thinks that whatever the fuck that prick put you through is undeserved. Is actually quite angry that he'd fuck you over like that.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, as you dab your face with sweater paws, trying to get rid of the remains of your tears.

He hates that you're apologising again, but he lets you. Knows you'll just say sorry again if he tells you to stop.

"I just didn't wanna be in my room, yanno?" A sob tries to escape, but you catch it just in time. Attagirl. "Fucking smells like him. I'd forgotten about his aftershave -" This is a lie. "- and now I can't get it out of my fucking nose."

Jeongguk grins, and tries a little banter. "Probably a good thing if it masks the way you smell."

"Fuck off," you smile back at him, biting down on your lip to stop it from shaking. "Now's not the time."

And yet you're so glad he's still being normal with you. Not so glad for his next question, but glad for the perspective he's trying to give to the situation.

"Did you at least... yanno?"

Your eyes roll so far back that you can basically see your frontal lobe. Jeongguk is a little horrified by the fact your entire eyeball is bloodshot, and doesn't hide his disgust very well. He tries. Just looks a little constipated when you refocus on him. Makes you laugh.

"Pretended," you admit a little awkwardly, and when Jeongguk's jaw drops, you reach over to close it. "My god, shut up! I didn't want to make him feel bad. If I knew then what I know now-"

"That he's a cunt?"

"-Then maybe I wouldn't have."

You would have. You'd turn water into wine if Seokjin asked you to. Let him drink your blood if a drought pilfered his water supply. Would sacrifice everything to just give him a measly something.

You'll never admit to any of that, though.

Silence simmers between the pair of you. There's not much left to say.

"I'm sorry he left," Jeongguk says, because you deserve an apology and knows you'll never get one from the person who owes it.

"Me too."

He reaches over and ruffles your hair, smiling in that way he does when his dimples form and his lip ring does a little dance. It curves upwards, smiling too.

"You wanna get a shower?" He offers. He's terrible at comforting people, granted, but he's good at thinking of solutions. "Everything here smells different to your apartment. You can get rid of whatever's haunting your nose with my incredibly manly strawberry shower gel."

You laugh, and Jeongguk feels himself relax. Hadn't realised his back had been so tense as he twists his waist to click it. You let yourself fall onto your back again, and into his duvet. "God, how on earth do the girls resist you?"

"They can't. Get a shower, Byeol. I'll make up somewhere for you to sleep, alright?"

You don't question the way he calls you Byeol again. Just let him. Think it's nice, actually.

And like the girls that apparently can't resist him, you can't say no to his instructions.

He shows you to the bathroom, and when you whisper about being worried you'll wake Jimin, Jeongguk shakes his head. "Sleeps like a log after a night out."

There's something incredibly kind about how he shows you which shower gels are his (because apparently he needs three in the shower at all times), and how to change the temperature (but leaves it on his favourite setting because he thinks you'll like it, too). He tells you to wait before you get in, because he's coming back with something - and when he does, you pout.

"So, this is like, my good towel. I don't keep it in here 'cause Jimin'll use it for god knows what, but it's really fluffy," he says, and then insists that you rub it against your cheek. He's not wrong. Might just be the fluffiest towel you've ever encountered. "Unreal, right? Like an actual cloud."

And then despite how gentle he's been, he reverts back to his typical self when he throws a shirt in your face. "For afterwards."

He shuts the door before you can say anything else in response. You just kind of stand there, his shirt looped over your shoulders, laughing softly to yourself, face furrowed in confusion. Jeon Jeongguk might just be the strangest human you've ever met.

But you're also the girl who took a canvas painting of breadfish to his gym, just to get a laugh out of him, so maybe you're well-suited in that regard.

Their shower is far nicer than yours, the water pressure frankly wasted on two boys. Though you wouldn't trade your apartment with Danbi for the world, you considering making future five AM pity calls just for the luxury of a waterfall showerhead.

You use the strawberry shower gel, not because you like it any better than citrus fruits or fresh pine, but mainly because it's the one Jeongguk first mentioned. It's sweet - almost as sweet as your own vanilla one - but still fresh enough to make you feel a little brand new. There's an ache in your heart as you wash your ex's touch from you, and you find yourself sniffing again - but you don't let yourself fall into that trap.

You've cried enough.

And so wrap yourself in Jeongguk's towel, close the lid of their toilet and sit for a while. The clock reads twelve minutes past six. Guilt simmers in your chest, knowing that Jeongguk didn't need to be dealing with you at such a ridiculous time in the morning - but when you reach his bedroom, knocking before you enter to find him organising a mountain of pillows on his floor, you can't help but feel thankful he's the person you reached out to.

It's kinda his fault for texting you at five AM and waking you up, but that's neither here nor there.

"Hey," he smiles as he turns to face you, and tries his hardest to avoid staring at your legs. Your hair is bundled up into his towel, and his shirt fits you like a dress, cutting off midway down your thighs. "Sorry, I just didn't know how many pillows you like? So I just got them all?"

"One is normally fine," you laugh, as you begin to tease your hair through the towel. "Thank you for this, by the way. Incredible towel."

"I told you so," he grins. "Curtains open or closed?"

"Closed?" You question, confused at how it's not an obvious answer - but you don't know that Jeongguk sleeps with them open on Saturday nights to make it easier for him to wake for the gym in the morning.

"Sure you're gonna be comfortable on the floor?" He asks as he reaches over to close the curtains. "I really don't mind taking the floor."

"I'm sure," you nod. "Hardly looks like a floor anymore."

You've a point. He really did it overdo it - but he's not had a sleepover since he was about fourteen. Isn't really sure what the protocol is.

At least, not a sleepover like this.

Nor have you. No time for braiding each other's hair and gossiping about your favourite celebrities, though. You find yourself drifting off almost as soon as you curl up into Jeongguk's expertly crafted pile of pillows. You don't realise, 'cause he doesn't tell you, but he's given you the pillows from his bed, too. They're a little more expensive, better for a good night's sleep.

He reaches to the end of the bed for his good towel. It's a little damp, but not too wet that it would cause any issues as he rolls it up and sticks it beneath his head. Isn't the first time he's used a towel for a pillow, and likely won't be the last. He just kind of thought you needed the comfort of expensive cushions more than he did.

"Sweet dreams, Byeol," he whispers, knowing you're out like a light, but wanting to wish you well regardless. You deserve that at the very least, he thinks.

Unlocking his phone, he cancels his gym alarm, and tosses his phone back down onto his mattress. His room is dark, but he can see the outline of your body, the curve of your hip and the dip of your waist as you adjust ever so slightly.

He's sure that when the morning comes, you'll be a bit embarrassed about it all - but for now, he settles into how comfortable it feels to have you around.

There's nothing intimate about the situation between the pair of you (which is probably why you don't mind staying over) - but when he hears you squeak a little in your sleep, pillows rustling as you move, he kind of gets it. Understands why you wouldn't trust just anyone with your most vulnerable state.

He's just the same; except his fears come in the form of rejection. He never makes it to the intimacy part, because he never deals with the stuff that needs to precede it.

And as he stares up at the shadows of his origami birds, a frown framing his pretty features, he decides you're both absolutely fucked.

AO3 | MASTERLIST | NEXT

[sightofsea]

147 for the ineffable beauties because i’m a basic ass bitch

this took a hot sec but here ya go!

147. "Tell me again."

The bench is in the middle of nowhere. They've been meeting in the middles of nowheres a lot recently: at picnic tables in littered children's parks, on the hoods of cars in empty car parks, inside of a Korean restaurant named Park's in some strip mall in Iowa. This middle of nowhere is a rhododendron garden, tucked away in some neighborhood with just a bulletin board to acknowledge its presence. 

It's after closing, yet the fountain still runs. Probably to keep the pipes from freezing, Aziraphale had suggested, when Crowley asked. And then they talked as they usually have, during these visits: stunted sentences. Business talk, you understand, about the end of the world and such. How to stop it, et cetera. Nothing more, Crowley, you have to understand. This is strictly a transactional exchange.

So they talk business. They exchange things--words mostly--and then as most conversations do, it veers. It twists and turns and does a U-ey until there's a pause. A pregnant pause at that, five days overdue and with ankles so swollen its legs might as well be tree trunks.

The water continues to run. The air smells like rain approaching.

"Tell me again," Aziraphale says finally. "Just one more time."

Crowley considers this. A part of him--a big part--wants to start begging. But he's got to have his dignity, of whatever's left of it. 

"No."

Aziraphale blinks. "No?" he asks, voice pitched high.

"No," Crowley says, shaking his head and licking the front of his teeth. He gives the angel a small, sad smile. "Once was enough, don't you think?"

"Not for me," Aziraphale says truthfully.

Crowley leans back on the bench and crosses his legs. "Too bad, so sad," he drawls, and contemplated the sky above them. Cloudy, heavy. Rain knocking on their door.

He waits for the space next to him to go empty. That's usually how conversations like this have gone as of late. Instead, it's still occupied. In it sits one angel, fidgeting with his hands, blinking rapidly and swallowing. Crowley feels the lady of his dignity start to crumble. "Oh, don't...don't do the--"

Aziraphale takes in a deep breath and steels himself, as if caught out. "The what?"

Crowley groans and gestures. "The eyes, the lip, the--"

Aziraphale starts to wipe at his face, but it only serves to make things worse. "I can't help it, now can I?" he asks. 

"Well why would you wanna hear it again?" Crowley asks genuinely. Aziraphale stares at him in confusion. "Hm? Words all...jumbled and, and half--half something or other. All full of...of..." 

Love. Affection. Care. He tries to remember the speech he gave and comes up empty on the specifics, but the emotions wash over him again. He swallows them back. 

"Can't even get them out now," Crowley says, voice suddenly too small in his mouth. "I don't see the point, really. I said one thing, you said another, and now we're..." He tries to grasp onto some concrete definition of what they are. "...here."

He gestures to the garden. Aziraphale looks around, as if trying to find a response somewhere between the moss and the thick leaves. He fidgets a little more. It takes all of Crowley's might to not curl around him. 

He must find the words somewhere, perhaps under a rock or something, because he stops his fidgeting. "Maybe," he says, anxiously angling himself towards Crowley, "I want a do over."

Crowley's internal organs do a funny thing involving a clove hitch and perhaps a somersault. "A do--a do over?" he stutters out.

Aziraphale nods. "Yes."

"Oh," Crowley says. Then he tries, very very hard, to remember his whole speech. He comes up woefully short. "Um." Come on, think! THINK! "Uhh." Right, okay. He can be smooth about this. "A-Actions speak louder than words, I think."

Aziraphale blinks, and smiles pleasantly. "I happen to agree."

Right. Okay. Jesus--Adam, whoever. Okay, time for action. "So..." Crowley says, and lifts a hand. Towards what, he's not entirely sure. He supposes the other angel's hand--kissing didn't go very well last time, did it? So, yeah. Crowley lifts a hand, and then places over Aziraphale's, and feels like he's just climbed Kilimanjaro.

He looks at Aziraphale, unsure. Aziraphale smiles and also lifts a hand. Now that's interesting, Crowley thinks, triple hand hold. Didn't know you could do that.

He's midway through that thought when Aziraphale's hand goes for his tie and pulls him in lips first. After that, things go a bit fuzzy. There's hands, he knows that. Quite bit of gripping from both parties, and something involving a bit of tongue and teeth that causes his kneecaps to liquify. If actions speak louder than words, then Aziraphale is practically shouting. Crowley happily gets the message.

"How was that?" Aziraphale asks when they pull apart. He hand is still on Crowley's tie. "As a do-over."

Crowley's mental facilities struggle to recover. They aren't helped by the fact that Aziraphale's twirling the tie around his finger. "Wh--uh, hoooo...yup," Crowley eloquently puts it. He clears his throat. "Might, um. Might need a, um. A couple--few more--"

"A few more tries?" Aziraphale asks. 

"Yeah," Crowley breathes out.

Aziraphale takes in a shaky breath. "Well," he says, and starts pulling at the tie again. It starts to rain. Neither of them notice. "Let it never be said I've been anything but thorough."

[shatcey]

Smoke and mirrors

You know the feeling… a little more and you'll catch it. The thought, the meaning, the memory… the person. This feeling has settled very firmly in my heart. Alfons does everything possible to make it IMPOSSIBLE to figure him out… And it annoys as hell if I cannot understand something. So I keep stubbornly trying. As Einstein said: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". Probably I am insane. After all... I cannot stop thinking about him.

I really like Ellis, his design and voice are just perfect, I laugh with Victor and because of Jude, I sympathize to Liam, Elbert, and Harrison. I'm even grow to love William… But none of these feelings can be compared to what I felt for Alfons from the very beginning. Yes, they were negative emotions, but their strength surprised me the most. No other character has affected me that much.

My opinion of him has slowly but surely changed from absolute dislike and wariness to respect and adoration. I realized once again that saying "Love and hate are opposite sides of the same coin" exist for a reason.

But I cannot talk about this character without spoilers. I'll try to use as little as possible though. Slightly depressing… you've been warned.

At the beginning of his route, you think of him as an asshole. I think that's the most accurate word! He's tricking Kate, using his powers on her for his own (seemingly) entertainment, calling her his toy... But... the more Kate digs in, the more time she spends with him, the more obvious it becomes that he is - the way we see him - an illusion. The real person hides so splendidly that for a very long time I couldn't even get a glimpse of him…

He makes us believe that his every action has a very simple intention. He makes us believe that he is in fact a very simple person. And he does it so convincingly that for a very long time I couldn't figure out why everything he says seems so wrong. But it wasn't until his seemingly cheerful behavior began to slip away from time to time I suddenly realized… He always wears a mask that sticks so firmly that even if it slip away for a moment, it will immediately return. And it makes me very sad. A person who, for one reason or another, cannot be himself is an incredibly lonely person.

He's philosophy is very simple. If I don't like something, I can ignore it. If I cannot ignore it, I'll create an illusion and the world will become the way I want it to be. This is in fact a defense mechanism that allows us not to sink into depression. Switch the direction of your thoughts, set a real goal that you can achieve very soon, find something interesting to look/read/do... destract yourself. This method helped him survive when he was a kid, so it's not surprising that he still thinks of it as the only option…

Starting with the cat… no, a little earlier, with his very nasty prank, the story became unbearably heavy. It's like sinking into dark, deep water, and each new piece of information pulls you deeper and deeper, and it's pretty difficult to handle. There was no simple allegory of making a decision, as in William's route, to stay in the room or open the door and move forward… Alfie, as always, decided that it would be best for everyone... except himself. I still cannot think about it without tears. This man is merciless.

When I was reading his route, I remembered a very odd (I'm not even kidding, I can't remember anything more strange than this) Korean movie "Alice: boy from wonderland" (앨리스: 원더랜드에서 온 소년). By the way, I don't recommend watching this movie unless you are prepared for very dark and depressing thoughts and a lot of blood. One phrase from it, which has stuck in my head for many years, reminds me very strongly of Alfons.

It's not scary to d**. It's scary to be forgotten.

This is a concept that we don't think about very often, if ever. But Alfons considers this not just a probability, but an undoubted fact. And despite the absolute certainty of this, living with this oppressive thought all his life, he finds a way to stay sane. I'm not happy with his choice of coping. But I respect him for that choice.

I find his route extremely interesting for many reasons. It explain not mental illness or childhood trauma, but a defence mechanism. Some moments remind me of extremely strong scenes from other projects. And the story, like Alfons himself, is full of dark drama and hilarious scenes… It's full of contrast contradictions and at the same time incredibly solid and logical.

He's not perfect like Jude or Chev. He's not a sweet kid like Yves or Liam. He doesn't have a strong life philosophy like William or... I do not know... Johann (Faust, in case you didn't know)… There's a little bit of everything in him, just like in a real person. And just like any person he has oddities. He's totally unable to understand his own feelings and show affection (nothing surprising, given his past). He avoids difficult topics by laughing it off, hides behind lies… And this constant similarity with absolutely normal real people is snowballing to such an extent that it's really hard to believe that he's NOT one of us. I don't want him to be alive, I'm absolutely sure HE IS a living person.… This is probably the best evaluation a writer could ever get.

But maybe it's just me. Maybe I just feel some kind of connection to Alfons or Kate, or to the story itself. Surprisingly, I don't look at this story from the outside, I really feel like I am Kate. And maybe that's why Alfons is so firmly entrenched in my heart…

(I cannot believe how much time I spend writing and polishing this. I can almost hear him calling me a fool for wasting my time on him. Don't worry, babe.… Now it's my turn.)

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[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake final episode BTS were released, and I really don't want to let this story go x) But I loved watching cast play around and tease each other. And in this particular video, everyone went really heavily on flirteasing and especially... on joking about Myungha's drowning scene x))

(tw suicide for following translations)

We saw on IG that Joowan (Yeowoon) and Minsoo (Sangwon) were playing and throwing flip stones on a beach. While fans joked Taevin (Myungha) would get jealous, he actually was watching them from behind xD He was preparing for diving, and those two played around.

PD: It's the day of Myungha submerging, any words? J,M: *said they were gonna go home but since they were worried for him so they stayed.* PD: But I saw you having a lot of fun throwing stones right now? J: Well, if the atmosphere is happy and playful, Myungha will have a hard time dying:D

Then they came back to Taevin.

T: You two are having so much fun playing with stones... M: We laid down stones so you would die a little bit later~^^ J: It's too sad I really won't be able to live! Т__Т

And then Myungha went into the water, and after the first take everyone shouted that it was perfect (for real! it looked so good! woah!) I think it means they got this long difficult and emotionally heavy shot on their first try? Taevin, you should really keep being an actor!

Taevin arrived to the underwater filming set.

T: It looks fun! Woah, it's deeper than I thought so I'm a bit nervous. Today is the day when Myungha dies... I'll do my best dying!^^ (/I'll be diligently dying!)

After practicing swimming, rehearsing and dressing up:

PD: Say something before you go? T: Let's die well! Fighting! (i can't with his excitement for emotional scenes lmao)

My comments: Woah, Taevin actually is such a pro at swimming! Especially lowering yourself in the water, I wonder if the water for such shoots have some special addition to make sinking easier.

Anyway, there were cute scenes as well and I'm annoyed I can't understand 100% Korean because it's too noisy or quiet and I wish I knew what their banter was about. But Taevin just casually joking and then easily crushing his suicide scenes while the viewers were all emotionally suffering for days... I can't with him xD

Btw, guys, I also started writing notes while I was watching their livestreams, does anyone need brief translation summaries of LFLS lives? There are edited videos on youtube that put together well the funniest moments so idk whether anyone needs other casual comments but I have them partially in my drafts. But it'll take a lot of effort to finish %)

Or let me know if you want me to translate some other moment from BTS (I'm not really good with translating by ear yet but I can try my best, at least these videos have Korean subtitles xD)

[digitalstardust]

TFP Optimus, Ratchet, Bumblebee and Arcee with a human s/o that likes to sing

Hi everyone! I know that I said I would post Part 2 of Wildest Dreams this week, but I'm not sure when I would finish it since I have a TON of work to finish, so I'll see do I get around to finish it at all.

There are a couple of songs that I will mention and the links' below! There are some in Chinese and Korean, so if you want the translation you can search it up or ask me for them :)

Enjoy!

Notes: Fluff, fluff, gender neutral reader

TEAM PRIME

Optimus Prime

Optimus has a pretty nice voice so I would say he used to sing before the war.

He was relatively shocked to find out that you sang too.

He found out one day when you and the humans were having fun and goofing around. Miko was trying to sing a song in Mandarin and the kids were covering their ears due to the limited Mandarin words she could speak.

You took that as a chance and took over for her, not missing a single word and reaching every high note.

That left them speechless and left you with a very red face.

After that, he would silently with you would sing all the time.

You can't blame him, honestly, since he has a love for music too.

I think the music on Cybertron is quite different from Earth, so he would love to listen to you sing.

He doesn't care if you sing well or not, he just loves your voice.

His favorite song would probably be 'Something just like this' because it somewhat reminds him of the life he had when he was a clerk in the Iacon Hall of Records.

He would probably ask you to sing for him when he's feeling down.

He would also sing for you when you don't feel well or is feeling sad, and honestly that man has the voice of a god.

You are the only one he sings to, so don't abuse that privilege.

"I've been reading tales of old, the legends and the myths..."

Ratchet

This man... He is the complete opposite of Optimus Prime.

He would pretend he hates your singing because it 'disturbs him' but he actually looks forward to listening to your voice.

He discovered that you loved to sing when he heard you singing when working one day.

He grumbled and asked if you could stop because it was disrupting his work and when you didn't stop, he went over to see what was going on.

It turns out you had headphones in and couldn't hear him, still singing to whatever song you were singing to.

He secretly enjoyed your singing and was somewhat disappointed when you stopped.

But of course he said 'Thank Primus' or something along those lines.

He would pretend to hate your voice so much that you actually believed it and stopped singing.

Once he saw you crying in one of the vents (how did you get there?) and was surprised when you said you were crying because of how unconfident you felt whenever you sang.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that he was the reason you felt unconfident.

He immediately apologized and reassured you that you have a beautiful singing voice.

Honestly... That's just the way he is. A pretty nice guy pretending to be a jerk for some reason.

He hates to admit that he wants to hear you sing, but you usually know what he wants and sings for him.

His favorite song would be '白月光与朱砂痣', because it's the song you sang when he first discovered your beautiful voice. Even though he doesn't completely understand the lyrics, it sounds peaceful and soothing.

"白月光在照耀 你才想起她的好..."

Bumblebee

This boy is the most supporting boyfriend anyone could ever have. You are lucky to have him. Do not break his heart or you would be seeing me tonight.

He's young. Like really young. He was born into the war so he has little time where he could actually let loose and be a child, despite him always acting like one.

He has this certain pressure on him to be mature and a warrior, so he has never had a peaceful life.

He loves music on Earth, especially hype music. He would be the type that hates classical music since it's too boring.

A Kpop fan. A huge one. He would be listening to Kpop 24/7, and I'd say that his favorite band is Stray Kids (because who doesn't love them)

He would be the type that doesn't go out of his way to learn a song or a certain dance but just jumps to the rhythm and hums to the music.

He discovered your singing voice when you were singing to a tune under your breath when you heard the song coming from his speakers.

Needless to say he asked you to sing it again and again.

He would watch all the MVs and try to dance along (and breaking stuff in the process)

His favorite song would be 'Zoo', indefinitely. He loves the beat and the rhythm, and it makes him feel alive. It makes him want to jump up and dance, so it would be a bad choice for music when he's driving.

"Head to toe, cool like a lion, CEO, boss like a bison..."

Arcee

I feel like she wouldn't like songs that are too noisy because they actually disturb her (unlike a certain person mentioned above) but she wouldn't like songs that are way too quiet.

She would listen to classical music when trying to focus or work, but overall she would like to listen to songs that aren't too boring but aren't too hype.

I think she would be a great singer but decides not to because she needs to focus on whatever she's doing, same when she was back on Cybertron.

If she's a good singer, then she would be an even better dancer.

She's really agile and quick on her feet (unlike me lmao) and she could hear the beat in music 10 times faster than anyone else and can come up with dances for every song.

She used to be a dance teacher as a part-time back at Cybertron and was good at it. Why do you think she can do cartwheels, backflips and splits without a second thought? She was either a gymnast or dancer and I'm saying dancer.

She would somewhat be like Ratchet, not going to admit she loves your voice but not going to say she hates it too.

She discovered your love for singing when Miko was learning a new song to dance and sing to when you popped in.

Since she was Japanese, it was a bit hard for her to learn something in Korean, despite them being similar (I'm saying this because I have that difficulty too, but for those that don't have this problem correct me pls).

You popped in and taught her how to pronounce the words correctly and proceeding to sing the song yourself.

She was pleasantly surprised, to say the least.

I think her favorite song would be Chandelier by Sia, because it sounds really nice and she just loves the song for some reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I might make a second part with the rest of Team Prime or the Decepticons, but we'll see. I was going to make a full Team Prime for this one, but I didn't have enough time.

Songs are below:

Something Just Like This (Optimus):

白月光与朱砂痣 (Ratchet)：

Zoo (Bumblebee):

Chandelier (Arcee):

This wasn't good, I know but it was an idea I had and I wanted to finish it before I lost motivation :(

See you next week!

[madameaug]

But My Mommy Said No || JJK

Pairing: Jungkook & Peanut (OC) ft. Jennette

I'm sure we've all seen this tik tok . This kid knows wassup. Peanut is slightly aged up in this fic. She's gonna be around the same age as the little boy, so I'd say three. Italics represent Korean

None of the pictures are face claims for Peanut/Jennette/Jungkook <3

Jungkook mindlessly bent over to pick up the pieces of doll clothing in the loft. The loft, his designated man cave, was now where Peanut's toys were stored. His Xbox wasn't even plugged up, because he didn't want to risk his precious Peanut tearing it up. With the days passing she was only getting faster and faster in her walk. Meaning she could get into to trouble quickly if he or Jennette wasn't watching.

"Peanut cup."

"Yes."

Peanut peaked her head out of Jungkook and Jennette's shared bedroom.

"Come here. I have something for you."

Her dark brown eyes lit up, hearing Jungkook had something for her.

"Present?"

She learned over trying to get a look at what Jungkook held behind his back. Peanut could barely hold her excitement.

"Lollipop! I got it for you."

Peanut looked at the red lollipop as if it was a vegetable. She babbled, her face carried with unease. Jungkook expected Peanut to thrust her tiny body into his arms will appreciation, before slobbering down the lollipop. Instead she took two small steps backwards.

"I can't have that." She looked at her father. "My mommy said I can't have that."

"But I'm your dad. I said you can have it."

That did little to ease Peanut's concerns. She rejected the lollipop.

"I'm in charge around here. You can have the lollipop."

"I'mma choke."

"Peanut cup, you can have it daddy promise."

"I'mma choke."

"I'll watch you, okay. You're not gonna choke."

The little girl shook her head. It wasn't typical for Peanut to have candy. It wasn't something that they used to reward her for good behavior. Jungkook could count on both hands the amount of times he's seen Peanut with candy, since she's been alive.

For a second Peanut hesitated. In her three-year-old mind, she really wanted to eat that lollipop. But the stern warning she got from her mommy was ever so clear.

No candy, especially no lollipops. I don't want you to choke. Mommy would be so sad.

For what little she could understand, Peanut didn't want her mommy to be sad. Nor did she want to experience choking.

"I don't wan it."

"Why not?" Jungkook was asking for entertainment purposes. Peanut was standing her ground and was not going to take the lollipop. Jennette's influence was clear.

"Cause my mommy said no."

"But I'm in charge of mommy. I make the rules not her."

With the same look of determination, Peanut stood firm. She does not let her father's temptation get her in trouble with her mother. In true Peanut fashion, she turned around and walked away from her father. Running back into their bedroom, doing who knows what.

[thirddeyetarot]

Stray Kids MTL to date a foreigner

AS an MTL:

Lee Know

Felix

Han

Hyunjin

BangChan

Seungmin

Changbin

Jeongin

BangChan: Oh yeah, he for sure likes messing around, having flings with foreigners, but for dating? No. A real f***boy tbh I can't say it more beautified🥹 for now he doesn't want to even date anyone at all seriously.

Lee Know: Guys this was unexpected, but this guy would be down for a foreigner partner!!! He's so positive about it, he doesn't think nationality matters too much if they actually love each other, as long he can understands his partner, as in Korean most likely. I literally got the ring card 🫡 he's the type of person who doesn't really care too much about apparience, financial stuff while looking for a partner, he is an open minded person.

Changbin: He prefers partners of his own nationality, he honestly doesn't have a very good opinion of foreign ladies in particular, he thinks they are too easily available and he wouldn't want to go in a serious relationship with them.

Hyunjin: he didn't wanted to share much, unsure of his own answer. It's a no at the moment, but in the future it is possible that he will see it differently, but right now I don't even think he's thinking about dating at all, he actually cames across as even sad?🧐

Han: In fact, he would be perfectly fine dating a foreigner. It is not important for him where his partner is from, I could say he doesn't care a slightest bit. ✨

Felix: he is fine with it. I wouldn't call his answer smooth, but he doesn't have a particular problem with it, he's just not interested in love right now.

Seugmin: He would date a foreigner, but it would be much more comfortable for him if he could date someone of his own nationality, somehow it feels like they would understand each other more easily and are culturally closer to each other in this way.

Jeongin: Only native! He's pretty conservative about it and has absolutely no interest in trying anything with a non-Korean. His parents can also contribute to this opinion.

[sublimecatgalaxy]

A non English speaking reader instead of Korean is totally okay! Yeah I just meant rick is aggressive with reader but daryl calms him down when he sees reader is scared and not trying to hurt anyone, and then daryl is soft with reader. I love everything you write so however you wanna write this is cool, I'll love it either way <3

I really do like this request because it truly gives me, as a writer, the opportunity to step back and write something- a connection between two characters- without using language. Super cool!

I hope this is everything you wished it could be! Thank you for your support and understanding ❤️

You never really realize how alone you are in an unfamiliar terrain until all of your family and friends are suddenly gone, vanished or evolved into the monsters walking among us.

I was always quite the loner though my mother never wanted me to be. She wanted me to be out there in the world, getting on the Deans list, the honors lists, anything that would make me stand out and make her feel proud that my success was ultimately her responsibility.

But that need to venture out on my own and to keep my head down, to do the opposite of what my family wanted of me, it stuck after the first Emergency Broadcast signal went out, echoing in my small car as I was driving home from work that night.

The cars lined the highways, people were trying to escape and I always assumed, though I wasn't able to say goodbye to them, that my family got out and were cooped up somewhere safe where they could live the rest of their lives.

I never ended up finding out what had happened to them.

I've stumbled across people in my time alone, bouncing along from group to group. But it was difficult when there were little to no people who spoke my language, constantly creating a conflict in communication with me and explaining my lonesome situation.

The language barrier, in a big group like that, ultimately would lead me to being the weak one and I believed it would eventually be left behind. So I always left before they could leave first, I figured it was the safest thing for me.

But now, looking up at the man above me as he points his revolver in my face, I can't help but think I could've avoided this if I would've just stayed with one of the many groups I've abandoned.

I watch as the group yells to each other, arguing over my presence as hateful words and furrowed brows pass through every expression of those around me. The man above me does not hesitate, he just continues to stare at me, ignoring the man behind him, tugging on his shoulder.

I gasp, clutching my hand to my chest that I previously landed on, a crack resounding around us at the hard landing. Tears fill my eyes as my lips part, shaking my head as the red-faced man asks me angry questions, cocking his gun after I don't answer after a few moments.

"No English." I gasp, finally forming the words as the man's face falls, turning to the kinder looking man behind him with a confused look. I look to the women above me, their eyes sorry as one of them sends me a soft, sad smile.

The man with the longer hand places a hand on the angry mans chest, forcing him back and away from me and he looks down at me with a soft smile. Kneeling down in front of me, he looks a bit awkward as he holds a hand out to me but my brows just furrow. He points to his wrist and then to mine and realization wafts over me and I realize he's talking about my injured arm. I nod hesitantly, still cautious of the rest of them around us who are whispering under their breath and giving me careful looks.

The kinder man in front of me takes my arm in his hand gently, examining the bruised tissue. He clicks his tongue and turns to the tall pretty woman behind him that he refers to as 'Sasha' and he asks for something, holding his free hand out to him.

She rustles through her bag for a few moments until she finds what she's looking for, handing a roll of medical wrap to him. He turns to me again and holds it up in the air before pointing to my wrist. I nod, giving him silent permission as he works on wrapping my wrist and forearm tightly, small, painful hisses leaving me every once in a while.

When he's done, I told my arm to my chest once more and shift in my spot so my legs are curled up beneath me. My eyes flicker back and forth between the mans kind eyes and he signs, reaching up to run a hand through his hair before pointing to himself.

"Daryl." He smiles and holds a hand out to me to shake, introducing himself in a much kinder way than his friend did just minutes ago. I take his hand in mine, shaking it politely before finding my voice once more.

"Y/n."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane2828 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi

@crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @minjix @luvrosee @storytellingwitht

[psychewritesbs]

I don't understand what's so bad about a character being desperate and fighting for his life in battle? It honestly makes for a more engaging exchange instead of just one side overwhelming the other.

In Megumi's case esp., I don't see how him struggling against Reggie is supposed to take away from his victory (a well earned one at that). Like I don't get the double standards at all. Even Yuji struggles in his fights and yet people are allowed to hype him up. But when Megumi fans do it they are met with ridicule as if the thought of praising Megumi is such a taboo in this fandom esp. the english speaking one. It's part of the reason why I've mostly stuck with the korean and japanese spaces on X.

Anyways, just want to air out my grievances. So sorry for dumping this on your asks, but I've been following your blog and I just know you're a safespace for Megumi stuff. CG season announcement really got Meg fans excited but people just has a way to damp the spirit 😔.

The state of the fandom is kinda interesting regarding Megumi. No worries for sharing grievances. If anything I feel specialz that you think this hellhole of mine is a Megumi safe space 😭.

I feel like Megumi fans are just patiently waiting for him to come back while the rest of the fandom just kinda thinks he's in the pickle he's in because he's weak.... but it's quite the opposite actually.

Megumi, whom the King of Curses acknowledges, and whom Gojo himself said could become stronger than him... yes, potential man, right? And what's sad is he was well on his way to fulfilling that potential. Potential is the outcome of a lifetime, and Megumi's unfolding got cut short by Sukuna.

What I love about what you said is that the whole issue with Reggie comes back to how there's no real way to power scale him if he's not fighting one of the other sorcerers to have something to compare him to because Megumi is already perceived as weak... hell, look at how Kashimo stocks dropped lol. Everyone out there calling him a farmer now 😭.

I can't wait for Megumi to prove everyone wrong anon. People have seriously misinterpreted Megumi from the start and have been surprised by his actions since the beginning. Like all of the people who still can't stomach the idea that he killed or were surprised by it.

It's interesting being a Megumi fan lol... WE GOT THIS ANON! We endure!

Watch me still saying "we endure" long after jjk is over and Megumi never came back 😂😭😭😭.

[supernova25]

Genshin men as songs

cw: not proofread at all (i don't proofread any of my works ..)

a/n: after the 6reeze post got a lot of likes (which shocked me bcs my first post did better than i imagined) i started thinking of the other genshin men

a/n: Case 143, OMG, and Attention are in Korean but I didn't add the Korean lyrics bcs i can't understand Korean, which is why Mabagal and Panalangin have the tagalog lyrics, I'm not entirely sure if the translation is correct though. I love kaeya and thomas part sm<3

a/n: should i make a female genshin characters version?

Masterlist

Albedo - Case 143 by Stray Kids | Aether - OMG by NewJeans

Gorou - Attention by NewJeans | Kaeya - Mabagal by Moira Dele Torre & Daniel Padillia

Thoma - Panalangin by Daniel Padillia

Albedo

“Falling in love with the fatal charm” He instantly fell in love with your charms. It was fatal, whenever he thinks about you he can’t help but smile. ‘Is this what they call love?’ is what he’s thinking.

“I think of you and look at you I never feel alright” The thought of you makes him smile unless he’s in public.

“Why do I keep getting attracted?” Every time he sees you smile he falls for you more (if that's even possible at this point)

 Aether

“It’s you who worries about me” Aether always runs to you whenever he hears that you’re not feeling well, he always makes sure you’re alright before he leaves.

“It’s you who makes me laugh” When you’re feeling sad he makes sure you’re feeling better before he leaves. When you’re sad he’ll always make you laugh and smile again.

“You appear without pretending to be busy” Basically became Xiao, when you call him and tell him that you need him he’ll stop whatever he’s doing and go to you.

Gorou

“You give me butterflies, you know” Do I need to explain? Pat his head when he’s done a favor for you and he gets butterflies (you can’t tell me he doesn’t)

“You got me looking for attention” He love’s it when you give him attention, he won't ask for it though.

“I’ll pretend I ran into you” He love’s your attention so much that he’ll even act like he ran into you atp<3

Kaeya

“Gusto kitang isayaw nang mabagal/I want to dance with you slow” PLEASE YOU CAN’T TELL ME THIS ISN'T KAEYA. I CAN IMAGINE KAEYA WANTING TO GO SLOW DANCING WITH YOU JSHF

“Hawak kamay, pikit mata, sumasabay sa musika/Holding hands, closed eyes, following the music” Kaeya would slow dance with you like this (HE BASICALLY OWNS THIS SONG??)

“Pag natapos na ('pag natapos na), ating kanta (ating kanta), At wala nang musika, Kakantahan ka ng acappella sa 'yong tainga/ When our song is done, And there is no more music, I will sing an acappella in your ear” Ok, so the song is done. But is he done? No. He’ll sing an acapella in your ear while dancing with you. Kaeya is a flirt and he’s good at flirting so Kaeya being romantic isn’t a surprise at all.

Thoma

“Panalangin ko sa habang buhay, makapiling ka, makasama ka, yan ang panalangin ko/ My prayer for life is to hold you, to be with you, that is my prayer” I can basically hear him telling this to you PLUS POINTS IF HE SAYS IT IN TAGALOG BECAUSE IT SOUNDS MORE ROMANTIC IN THE ORIGINAL LANGUAGE (Thoma is Filipino guys trust)  “Wala nang iba ang mas mahalaga” He’d tell you this every night, every day, every second, every chance he gets HE SAYS THIS. He loves telling you that nothing is more important than you.

[blue-sterling0357]

Hi! Can I request Bard with a multilingual fem s/o? I can see her maybe asking him out or even flirting with him in her native tongue. Maybe she might call him some pet name like “mi vida,” “corazón,” “amor,” “cariño,” “mi rey,” “amorcito,” etc.

Note: Also, “gordo” is a legit pet name. I know this because I’ve heard it used this way irl.

(Love that for him, imagine him fainting because you called him something romantic in your native language. i also did other languages as you said they're multilingual)

Bardroy X Multilingual! S/O

☤ Bardroy loves the fact that you can speak more than one language, he never understand how somebody can learn other languages, like you know Spanish, English, Italian, Korean and Hindi.

☤ Whenever you talk to him, you sometimes unconsciously slip into your languages, it's sccares the shit out of him, but he calms down again after a few minutes, so there's that, use this info as you please my dear summer child.

☤ If you can, please try to teach him some languages, he feels sad knowing he only knows one and that is English, which is something nearly everyone he meets can speak, even if they're foreingers....He's not the easiest to be patient with...

☤ He loves when you call him nicknames from different languages like "Corazón", "Amor", "Mi Vida", "Bello", "Ciccino", "Caro", "Tesoro", "Jannu", "Sundari", "Jagiya", "Yeobo", "Wangjanim", "Nae Sarang" and so many more, he doesn't care as long as he knows you're using it from him and only him.

☤ When you first called him something in one fo your languages, he immediately turned red and fainted there as he got so shy by you calling him something in one of your languages.

☤ Oh! He gets so jealous of people when you talk to them in one of your languages because the person doesn't know English and he knows he shouldn't be, but he can't help it as he thinks it should only be between you and him.

☤ You also asked him out through a love letter in one of your languages, not knowing he had Sebastian translate it and write it down in English for him, only then did he find you and kiss you hard on your cheeks.

☤ He loves when you speak to him or speak to someone in one of the languages as he loves how the words come out and how sweet or badass they sound, he thinks you look sexy when you speak something.

☤ He would have you translate random notes and then he would gifts those notes and letters with something back to you and all embarrased as Sebastian is not patient enough with him to translate things for him to gift to you.

☤ He and others would also sometimes join Ciel and Sebastian to trips to other countries where you and Sebatsian both often prove to be extremely useful to help translate certain languages for them.

☤ Ciel and Sebastian also use you in their investigation to question certain suspects or to find some witnesses for the investigation or to basically search for clues.

☤ Overall Bard loves this thing of you....<3

[ijustkindalikebooks]

I really hope I don't read a life changing book in the next three weeks so this list is out of date, but this is a list of twelve books that have been dwelling in my head for the last year.

I quote them, I think about them, I think "holy cow someone wrote that" often about these and I can't wait to either the read the next one or the next thing that comes from this author (or both). I really hope you've had an amazing year of reading and I can't wait to see your own lists from 2023.

How High We Go In The Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu - A sort of slow burn book that has dwelled in my brain since I read it back in April, How High We Go In The Dark is a dark exploration of humanity connected by short stories that have a common thread through the book. The rollercoaster story lives in my head rent free, and not in a good way, it's a little bit disturbing, but I think we live in a dystopia more than we believe we do and maybe there's a metaphor in there somewhere.

Sea Of Tranquility by Emily St John Mandel - Another book that connects via short stories, this is quite common for me as I love that sort of thing, reflecting on my list of books. I think Mandel writes so poetically and brilliantly throughout this book, she delivers on pathos and emotion to really deliver stories about people, about people in different timelines connected by a strange portal moment of magic. If you love fantasy but in a more contemporary delivery, I do recommend this book to you.

The End Of The Affair by Graham Greene - I am a collector of books as much as a reader of them and this year I've been trying to read my bookshelves a bit more as I just am buying books to make myself look clever at this point, which is just lame. This was one of the first books on my shelf, and though not perfect, and damn did she deserve better, this book delves into obsession and love and what it actually means to people. It's a weird book.

Another Day In The Death Of America by Bryan Younge - I am not American, I have never seen a gun in real life in the hands of a person I know (some police have them near Parliament, well they did once I think) so I don't understand America and their passion for ammunition, but this book should not make you proud of it. This book is a gut punch through every chapter as the author details the young lives lost to guns in 24 hours. A brilliant and sad book.

Tower by Bae Myung-Hoon - My passion for Korean Literature does not abate (I am not a Koreaboo, don't worry). There's a way Korean writers write books like their objective observers on a scene that I particularly enjoy and Tower is another good example of this. Tower again is short stories tied together about a building that is it's own country and the people who live and want to live in it. The Elephant chapter hasn't left my brain since I read it and I recommend it (unless you like Elephants, then don't, cos it's again fucked up).

Beyond The Story: 10 Years of BTS by BTS - Ahh BTS, since 2017 I've known this group and their impact of my life and music taste is so ridiculous, I feel like something's walk into your life for a reason and wow, did they. The story of the rise of BTS from a lucky break on Mnet's music show to Grammy nominations (robbed!) is incredible to read and even if you don't like them it's a fascinating insight into a group that made their name in a country that was dominated by three big music companies, and they weren't on any of them - Hybe now supercedes all of them. An incredible underdog tale.

Lirael by Garth Nix - Where has this man been all my life with these books? I'm embarassed, be embarassed for me. This series is so good so far, I'm going to read Abhorsen next year which I believe is the next one and I can't wait. I would also recommend the Booksellers Of London series too by the same author, which is every bit as good and set in 80's London/Bath. Fantastic fantasy that makes you think where is the next one, give it to me now.

The Last Devil To Die by Richard Osman - Y'know, this series is so British, it should come with teabags and digestive biscuits, but I love it all the same. A series about a group of pensioners who solve mysteries, The Last Devil To Die is the fourth book in this series and it's probably for me one of the best. The storyline with Stephen is devastating and the plot is incredible with characters that come to life every time this book is opened. I can't wait for whatever this author does next and those who voted for The Housemaid on Goodreads, I'm judging you, to be honest.

Hortus Curious by Michael Perry - Plants, people. Plants are incredible, insane, incredible. There are plants who eat living things, but that's just the start of their madness. This book is an incredible exploration in fantastic plants you would think you'd only see in a Herbology classroom but here they are in real life, killing people and eating small animals. Fantastic book, if you love nature and weird stuff, this is for you.

Against White Feminism by Rafia Zakaria - I think the white women were in the house so much from this book. How women were protected in their plantations as people were treated abysmally who were just another intersection from them. I think we all need to work on our biases, prejudices and judgements we make and this is a short and brilliant book that could help you do that. I consider myself a feminist, and to be a good one you also have to shut and listen to people who don't look like you, make spaces intersectional my friends.

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang - The only romance book for me with rights this year (I keep being recommend books about hockey players and I am, that's just not going to happen). The representation of autism is fantastic and the sexy times are sexy if you need that and the characters, the characters are impeccable. I really recommend all of her books to be honest (and Talia Hibbert too, actually) as they make such great books with fantastic rep.

The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman - John Green on Crash Course said about this book 'the thing about this dystopian book is that this dystopia has already happened'. Charlotte was told by her doctors to quit all her hobbies and stay in a room and do nothing and it drove her to a deeper sickness, she wrote this book during that time of recovering from her ''recovery'' and it makes for powerful reading. The whole story is easily found online for free and I highly recommend it, probably one of the first psychological thrillers.

I apologise if some of these are a bit grammatically weird, I am working on it, I only just found out I'm dyslexic hence my difficulty with small text and need for audiobooks (smh, sometimes it's so obvious it makes me shake my head).

Please let me know what your favourite books of 2023 were.

Vee xo

[cookiesis00]

I have a rant about Twice's fanbase in general, but mostly their Korean fanbase.

Like is it just me or do they actually suck at being fans?

They don't do well with streaming or getting twice to the korean charts and then they complain and wonder why twice were doing more promotions in America during With You-th. Like I understand if you don't like listening to a song over and over, I don't either but I at least stream the songs and participate in voting when I can, even if my streaming is just me listening to the song because I enjoy it.

For Example:

- Twice haven't been chatting well on Korean charts like Melon but yet in America, they got their first #1 on BB 200 and Nayeon became the only Korean female soloist to have 2 albums top 10 on BB 200.

It's things like these that make twice put their focus on America because they see that they're doing well there, but they can't just ignore Korea. So despite the lack of streams and charting on charts, they still do things there and give you guys stuff. I mean, Nayeon placed top 10 in BB 200 in America, and yet Korea is the one getting the pop-up store despite their lack of streaming😒. I acknowledge that their American fans also suck at streaming not only the songs but also the MV, but from the looks of it they're better at buying albums, which is something more than what their Korean fans are doing.

All I'm saying is that we as ONCES have to do better in showing support to the girls and defending them from hate because that's another thing. When other fanbases are attacking them, we shouldn't allow this hate to continue. Any other fanbase would've had that account or post deleted and yet we just let it continue. We can't stream well so the least we should do is defend the girls from hate and instead of focusing on helping Twice get new achievements, we instead spend our time in pointless fan wars and forget to vote in music bank or other stuff. That doesn't mean you should let them hate on the girls and ignore it, it means that you report those hate posts, defend the girls, and focus on making their comeback successful.

I hope we do better, especially with their new album coming out soon. I'm very excited for that ☺️. So for the next album and any album or comeback after that, listen, stream, and help vote to get them the charting and awards they deserve.

A lot of this is also JYPE's fault because they can't promote their groups to save their life, so it's left up to the fans to promote them. This is a stupid and idiotic business move, how do you expect your groups to do well and gain newer fans if you're not willing to do your job as a company? And before they try to be like "Oh we post about their comebacks," having your promotions just be on the group's social media pages isn't promotion because the only people you're reaching are the fans, not newer people, and some fans might not even follow or know about the social media pages so instead they're left in the dark. It's whatever though because that just means we, as fans, have to work harder to promote twice and ensure they have successful comebacks. I personally think this obsession with streaming is insane and takes away from actually enjoying the music if you're too obsessed with how many streams your idol is getting. Sadly, this is the reality for K-pop, and music in general, where streams are important and give the artist their money. This means that despite this sad reality, we still have to stream and participate in the success of our favorite artist's album.

Anyways, here are come upcoming or recrnt comebacks from Twice.

DIVE, coming July 17th, 2024

ABCD and NA by Nayeon

Listen and stream these albums and previous comebacks. Enjoy 🙂

[hoshi-y]

Breathe for me, my Prince.

Characters : Yugi Tsukasa

Genre : Fluff with slight Angst

TW : None

A/N : I accidentally posted the one with the request, im gonna cry 😭😭😭 BUT ANYWAYS, I THINK THEY WANTED UHH TSUKASA HAVING BAD PANICK ATTACKS, Im gonna punch myself if im wrong.. ALSO SORRY IT TOOK SOONG ANON I was very busy 😭😭😭

I hope you enjoy 💗

I..I'm okay don't worry.

Tsukasa has not been himself lately

That go lucky and energetic boy that you've always loved, has become more distracted, paranoid, and anxious

You didn't know what happened to him to be like that, so you asked him but he didn't wanna tell you

So you didn't push him to tell you instead you comforted him

But you should've

He hasn't been answering your calls, texts, and isn't coming to school

Thats it, you were coming to his house afterschool

He can't ignore you now

"Thank you for your purchase~ Have a nice day~" The cashier said as he handed you over a plastic bag.

Before you went to Tsukasa you wanted to treat him a little, by little you wanted to spoil him and to make him feel better

You got to his house and it was a little quiet, you knew his parents and brother weren't home so you used the spare key hid on the wall lamp, his parents technically adore you and showed you where they keep the spare key so you can enter and exit as you please

Taking off your shoes, you adjusted your eyes in the dark home

"Tsu?" You turned on their home lights to let it look more warmer, you went home to his room and knocked on the door "Tsu.. Its me, can I come in?"

Hearing your voice, Tsukasa calmed down a bit as he slowly stood up and slightly opened the door peaking out

Your heart broke as you saw how puffy and red his eyes were. "Tsu.." You gently pushed his door open and went inside closing the door behind you. "Tsukasa.. I am worried about you.. Are you okay? You can tell me anything. Is.. Someone bothering you?"

He didn't speak as he just grabbed y9ur hand led you to his bed sitting down.

"Can.. You just stay with me?" You couldn't say no. Hell why would you even say no? You sat down beside him as he leaned his head on your shoulder

You combed his soft black choppy hair with your hand as he hugged you. "I am sorry I wasn't replying to your text.. or answering your calls." Tsukasa hid his face on your neck

"Hey.. Its alright Tsu.." You cupped his cheeks as you kissed his tears away "I understand, don't force yourself.. Why don't we watch a movie hm?" He nodded as you grabbed his tv remote and turned it on

Both of you ended up watching a sad romance korean drama, you two got to the scene of the main character getting bullied you could feel Tsukasa slightly shake beside you

Pausing the video, you held his hand tightly

He was having a panick attack.

Your blood boiled, someone has been hurting your Tsukasa? If you ever found out who this person is you'd rain hell on them.

"Tsukasa.. Who did it?" You held his face as he let out a few tears, He stayed silent. "Tsukasa. I need to know please.. You can tell me anything.."

"I don't want you to get involved Love.. What if they hurt you too?.."

"Like hell, I'm almost gonna get my black belt from my taekwondo classes who would want to mess with me?" Tsukasa dug his face on your warm embrace as you patiently waited for him to talk.

"It.. It was a couple of 2nd years.. Class 2-C.. One of them had brown slicked back hair.. And the other h-had.. Black hair with red streaks.." He stuttered, just describing their appearance to you made him feel weak. He hated it.

You comforted and stayed with him for the whole week.

School? Nahh you didn't care avout that right now

When you did come back, you went to have a talk with your seniors

By talk I think you guys know what I mean

You landed one of them with a broken nose, and one with an almost broken arm

You got suspended for a week

It was worth it. Although you got suspended, you got those 2 idiots expelled with their wrong doings.

You didn't care about the suspension, now you have a week to be with Tsukasa