#i can't stop thinking about it but i can't draw shit for it and i'm kinda dying
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joonsytip · 1 day ago
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Something About You || Woozi
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Pairings: Woozi x Fem!Reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Lawyer!Woozi, Event Coordinator!Reader, Selective Amnesia au, Secret Relationship au
Synopsis: When your boyfriend loses all memories of you after an accident, you go through hell of a time trying to bring back the memories. But in the process of convincing him what you both had was real, it makes you question if what you both had was ever real.
Warnings:  jihoon is outright blunt and asshole, mentions accident, jihoon suffers selective amnesia, reader has astraphobia, relationship is hidden and based on rebound, one fighting scene, jihoon gets beaten by umbrella, oral (f. recieving), fingering, dirty talks, rough sex.
Word Count: 11.5k
Thanks to @cherriegyuu for beta reading this ♡
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🔞
[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]
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The look Jihoon gives you is condescending. He believes that whatever you said just now is the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard.
"I know it's hard to believe but it's true that I'm your girlfriend."
You repeat, biting back the tears.
The doctor takes pity on you and attempts to make his patient understand his current medical situation quoting it in most layman terms possible.
"Mr. Lee, you have been in an accident and that has caused internal bleeding in your brain. I'm not going into details but that has caused neural damage.", he continues solemnly, "Since you can't recognize your partner, we have run some tests and it indicates that you're suffering from amnesia."
Suddenly the door barges open and enters Soonyoung, Jihoon's friend and most probably the only one on his side who knows about your relationship.
Jihoon's eyes light up as he recognizes his friend and the realization dreads upon you.
"It's selective amnesia.", the doctor explains, carefully studying your expression, "Mr. Lee has forgotten all the memories you've shared."
Soonyoung stands up, his entire demeanor masked in disbelief, "How is that possible? He recognised everyone when I showed him the pictures! How can he not remember his girlfriend?"
"We can't give you an exact explanation but it's possible that before the accident happened Mr. Lee was thinking about her. "
You fiddle your fingers, tears wetting your cheeks and chin. Taking a deep breath, you ask, "Is there a possibility he can remember me or am I erased from his mind forever?"
You choke a sob. 
"There are cases where the patients have recovered their memories. It can take two days, two weeks, two years or even two decades. There's no certainty. In some cases", the doctor relents, "they never got their memories back. I'd suggest you revisit familiar places, re-watch your shared moments captured together. Anything to make him regain his lost memories."
It's been a hell of a ride since then.
Lee Jihoon, an enigmatic independent lawyer, who has zero nonsense tolerance has now a random woman constantly claiming to be his girlfriend of two years.
And somehow his close friend is backing up that claim. Something's absolutely fishy.
Jihoon glares at Soonyoung and completely ignores your presence right next to him.
"You have brought her into my office now?", Jihoon glowers in rage, his voice low, "Soonyoung explain yourself."
As the said man opens his mouth, you gesture him to stop.
You pull out your phone, opening the gallery.
"I have already seen them.", Jihoon says unimpressed, "I get that we have met through Soonyoung but these photos suggest nothing more than us being friends."
You show him a picture where he's hugging you from behind, his chin perched on your shoulder. You're smiling looking at the camera, he's smiling looking at you.
There's another one, set in his apartment, you are drawing something on his hand and he's kissing the top of your head. 
Jihoon turns away from you in his revolving chair, "This doesn't prove shit. We could have done this as friends."
You sigh, "Do you think you are that kind of person who'd do this with a mere or even a close friend?"
That shuts him up for a moment.
"Why would I be lying to you, Jihoon?", Soonyoung asks, almost offended.
"You tell me. I'm also not sure why you are doing this.", Jihoon retaliates.
There's a beat of silence before Jihoon continues, rubbing his temples in frustration, "Look, I don't wanna be an ass about it but you don't have enough proof to back up that we were in a relationship."
"But--", you're getting cut off.
"No one knows about us, none of my friends or colleagues. You show me our pictures and I admit they look intimate but it doesn't solidify that we were dating. You showed me our text conversation and never in the span of two years did I write a single 'I love you'.", he shakes his head, "All of it looks circumstantial to me."
It hits you harder than you could imagine.
Another couple of months go by and you're still not giving up. 
"He was on a call with me, Soonyoung, when the accident happened he was talking to me.", you admit sobbing. Soonyoung hands you the tissue box and patiently waits for you to continue. 
"He had been acting antsy for the past few days and though I wanted to share his burden, I decided not to probe. I knew he'd eventually let me know. Before the accident, the last thing he said was he had something to tell me and he was on his way to my place."
He pats on your shoulder, "Jihoon will get back his memories of you, Y/N. Let's keep trying."
But you've freed Soonyoung from the burden of constantly backing you up, still being a great friend he shows up whenever he can.
You work as an event coordinator. You were acquainted with Soonyoung through a common friend, so when over two years ago you had been contacted by him to be the planner of his brother's wedding, you agreed instantly. 
You are professional. In your line of work, you're well known for professionalism. 
But it was discarded the moment you saw Jihoon among the crowd on the wedding day. 
You had ditched professionalism then and only once, when you asked Soonyoung for his friend's contact details. When enquired, you spilled it all to Soonyoung honestly. 
Lee Jihoon is a known name in the city, he's reputed to be the best. It goes back a year when your friend's aunt had gotten scammed by a loan shark losing her property. With no lawyer interested in defending her, it was only Jihoon who had fought for her.
You swore you hadn't seen anyone cooler. The aura he emitted, the impeccable ferociousness and the sincerity he showed when he represented his client had you down bad for him.
Since then you've developed a crush but it would pass by, you thought, as there's no way you'd be crossing paths with him ever unless you have something to deal with legally.
But seeing him again during Soonyoung's brother's wedding was a sucker punch to your gut.
Suddenly, the crush resurfaces, in fact it ten folds when Jihoon looked nothing but absolutely gorgeous throughout.
"Jihoon has a foul mouth, so don't expect anything good coming out of it.", Soonyoung warns as he sends you the contact details, "Don't cry, don't take it to heart, no matter what he says."
And Soonyoung was correct. 
"Hi, I'm Y/N. I got your contact from Soonyoung."
When you had called Jihoon asking him if he could free some time for you as you had something to discuss, he agreed, assuming you would be needing some legal advice.
"Go on a date with me.", you say, "Please?"
The incredulous look on his face was remarkable but you had mustered all the courage within the world before sitting in front of him and discarded all the shame along with it.
"I'd be courteous since you're Soonyoung's friend but don't dare to try this act again.", Jihoon gets up, controlling himself from berating you as he walks past.
"3 dates.", you grab his wrist and he looks back at you, "That's all I want. And if you reject me after that, I won't be a bother."
Yanking his hand from your grip, he glares, "And why did you assume that I'd want to invest my time on you? You must be knowing that I'm quite busy."
"That surely makes you bitchless.", you snark back under your breath but Jihoon catches it.
He scoffs in a mix of disbelief and anger, "You--"
Clamping your hand on his mouth, you apologize quickly, "Sorry about that. And to answer your question", you grin, "Why don't you find it out yourself by going on a date with me? Tonight works for you?"
"You, for sure have a few loose screws.", Jihoon finally says, removing your hand, "Look I'm not interested and I'm busy, I work till late every night."
So Jihoon is rendered speechless when he sees you knocking on his office door late at night, to be specific at 2 AM.
"Hey, brought delicious wedding food and beer for us.", you enter and set the bag on the chair as the table was occupied, "That was one extravaganza wedding I had to arrange."
"And who said that you could be here?", Jihoon quips back, initially agitated but as the aroma of food hits his nose, reminding how he had skipped meals again and now his stomach could growl anytime, "This is rude and unethical."
"I know but I've decided to go against all ethics to woo you, Mr. Lee.", you throw him a wink which has Jihoon rolling eyes at you.
The first date was spent by eating food, chugging beer and your one sided talks.
The second one comes some days later as Jihoon agrees upon it just to make it crystal clear that he's really not interested and you should stop pestering him. He goes blunt, his words piercing you, intentionally. 
Though you insist, he is adamant. So you promise to not bother him anymore and make up your mind to move on.
Surprise comes to you a month later when Jihoon asks to meet you through a text. Somehow that night ends with you tangled in his sheets and the next morning he finally agrees to date you.
"Let's keep it private for now.", Jihoon tells and before you could ask the reason, he continues, "I wanna be sure, if it works out fine, let's tell everybody."
You find it a bit skeptical but it's not impractical so you agree. 
"But Soonyoung gets to know.", you declare, leaving no room for negotiations, "And my family and close friends would be knowing too."
Jihoon is your boyfriend now but something about the way let's himself around you makes you worry.
You don't expect him to act lovesick around you but he's so conserved. He barely texts you, only shows up when insisted and rarely initiates anything. There are no terms of endearment from him, no special acts.
Eight months into the relationship and you decide it's enough. You're done with his half ass slash zero commitments. So you start to act like him, zero calls, no texts and updates. You realise that you had gotten too good at the game when Jihoon knocks at your door one night.
Jihoon notices the lack of communication on your part and he doesn't let it bother him thinking you must have been busy but when it goes on for nearly a month, it strikes him that something's definitely wrong so that's how he finds himself knocking on your door.
And that night changes the dynamics between you two.
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Jihoon has been getting frequent dreams nowadays. He sees you in all of them. In one, he's playing chess with you, in another you're perched on his lap humming soothing melodies to get him to nap. In some he sees your bodies tangled in the sheets.
He wakes up, his body hot, mind foggy. It's reoccurring, even pestering. He concludes that the reason behind these dreams is all the nonsense you've been feeding him daily, it's because he sees you everyday. He decides to put a stop to it.
"Something's bothering you?", you ask upon entering his cabin, "need help?"
Jihoon perks up, "And what can you help me with?"
"You might have forgotten, but we used to brainstorm a lot. You'd never go into the exact details of the case to respect privacy and we'd create hypothetical scenarios and try to come up with possible nooks and crannies."
He scoffs, "I would never take opinions from anyone. It's not my way of working, I work solely upon my hunch and instincts."
You've had a long day and aren't in a mood for banter. All you want is a warm bath and tight sleep.
So not pushing it further, you set the bags on the table and say, "I bought you food from your favourite outlet. Eat it up while it's hot and call me if you need me."
"Don't expect me to call you.", Jihoon blurts out, "When are you gonna stop doing this?"
You give him a sharp look, "Stop doing what?"
"Trying to forcefully insert yourself in my life."
You scoff, "Maybe when you stop being an asshole and try to put some effort into gaining back your memories?"
Jihoon glares at you. You glare back at him, no way you're taking shit from him today.
When his jaw ticks and eyes turn darker, you think of backing down and leaving because you know it's the look he gives when he's about to say something absolutely brutal.
"Maybe you should get a hint by now.", he says coldly, "Isn't it obvious, the reason why I remember everyone but you?"
"Jihoon, don't.", you say as soon as he opens his mouth to speak again.
"You weren't someone important in my life, Y/N. You're so insignificant that I don't even remember you."
Your throat closes up. A tear falls down your cheek and before he could continue his verbal assault, you run out of his cabin.
While doing so you bump into someone.
"I'm sorry.", you say, wiping your tears before looking up.
The woman in front of you, echoes your words and leaves. Your gaze follows her and you see her entering Jihoon's office. And rooted to the ground, through the glass window you watch an entirely different Jihoon. The frown on his face is quickly replaced by a shy smile, his body language seemingly changing to gentleness. The way he crosses the chairs to pull one out for the woman to sit, the eye contact that definitely holds a meaning.
For the first time, your head and heart come up with the same conclusion.
Later that night, Jihoon is somewhat shocked to receive a call from you.
"Who's she, Ji?", you ask from the other side, "Why were you looking at her like that?"
He straight up knows whom you are talking about and he right away knows that you're drunk.
"Where are you? Are you alone?", he asks you, already looking for his car keys.
He hears something incoherent and presses the phone tighter against his ear.
"Tell me Ji, why were you looking at her like that?", you ask again.
He halts, "Like what?"
You hum and he hears a loud thud. There's a moment of silence and Jihoon is rooted, holding his breath.
Moments later, you speak again, "Like you used to look at me. Like you like her."
"Where are you, Y/N? Can you send me your location?", he tries to coax you, "I'll come right away, we'll talk. Please tell me where you are."
Another pause and just as he's about to speak again, he hears your sobs. His heart tightens in his chest.
"D-Did I already lose you, Ji?", comes your choked voice, "Did you give up on us? Why can't you like me again?"
There is no answer to your questions. 
"I love you.", you say, "I love you so much that it hurts. What do I do now? I-I think I love you way too much, much more than I thought. And I regret not telling you sooner."
Jihoon freezes, he's tongue tied, his knees almost giving up.
"And if this is the end of us, then--", the line disconnects. You've accidentally hung up.
He calls you back immediately but you don't pick up. Repeated calls, when they remain not received, he sends you a string of texts.
Already inside his car, he's about to drive away in search of you, aimlessly, when he receives a text from you.
'I'm at home.'
He let out a breath of relief, his mind pounding, his heart thumping because of your words from before.
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It's been over a month since Jihoon has seen or heard from you. For a week or two it was nice, not having you breathing on his neck felt refreshing. By the end of the third week he's worrying about you, his mind is relentlessly fogged with your thoughts. Mid of fourth week and he's contemplating whether to send you a text or ask Soonyoung to do it. 
It isn't relaxing anymore, it's stressful. It bothers him to all extent. He feels guilty about going overboard with his choice of words that night, he never meant to make you cry. He can't forget your drunk confessions either.
You are on a call with your mother who's nagging you to consider extending your stay when you go home for Christmas along with the equal urging of your sister and father. A lot of negotiations and you're finally agreeing to them.
"How's Jihoon? Any luck with the memories?", your sister, Eunha asks.
"Let's not talk about him.", you say after a beat, "I think, my relationship with Jihoon--", you halt, not being able to continue further, before the cracking of your voice gives it all away.
Eunha knows you better than anyone and sensing your tone, she's quick to assure you, "I've always admired your straight headedness. Whatever it is, I know you'll overcome it. And all of us are always there for you."
The doorbell rings and you frown, "Thanks Eun. I'll call you later, bye."
Checking the time and opening the door causes your frown to deepen. 
Jihoon sits on the couch, an awkward tension lingering in the atmosphere. And somehow it pains you to look at him, you're avoiding eye contact, looking everywhere but him, waiting for him to initiate the conversation.
A photo on the centre table catches Jihoon's attention and he picks it up, his curious eyes scrutinizing the faces. It's the two of you, an amusement park in the backdrop, grinning ear to ear, pressed cheek against cheek, radiating love through the photo itself.
You quickly snatch the frame out of his grip, setting it down on the same centre table.
"I hate amusement parks", Jihoon mutters more to himself but loud enough for your ears to pick up, "Because they're so crowded and everyone's screaming.", he looks up at you, "I went there with you?"
You just give a simple nod, no explanation, no backstory.
I love going to amusement parks. And you don't hate them anymore.
"Why are you here?", you ask him finally.
"I'm sorry.", he blurts out, "I'm really sorry for that night."
Your brows furrow for a moment before the neutral expression returns, "You didn't have to come here to apologise, a call would have sufficed."
For the record, you just know you had called him as an aftermath of that night but you don't remember, not even a bit of things you had said and you don't plan on bringing that up either.
Jihoon notices your defensiveness and to test it he stands up to walk towards you but you're immediately backing up.
"I'm feeling under the weather so if you're done, could you leave?", you speak still avoiding his gaze, "And I know you don't want me anywhere near you, rest assured I won't be a bother."
"What do you mean?", he asks closing in, "Are you still upset at me, even after I apologized?"
You keep stepping back, "I'm not upset. I'm just not feeling well, please leave."
I think you already replaced me, Ji.
Your back hits the wall and reaching you with long strides, Jihoon is caging you between the wall and his arms.
He hovers over you, "For the past months, you've been begging for my attention, trying everything to establish our relationship, so what happened, what's with this change in demeanour?"
He leans in, your faces merely an inch apart.
"Isn't this what you wanted?", your somber gaze meets his fiery ones.
He's not sure what he wants anymore.
"I have been having dreams about you, about us.", he admits, stepping away, "And I don't think they're just infringements of my imagination."
"What did you see?", your voice comes out in a whisper.
He then proceeds to tell you about the dreams and not so surprisingly you have stories and even photos for some cases to collate with his description of dreams.
"So did we record it as well?", Jihoon asks amused as you dab your hot pink cheeks, "I wanna see it though--"
You're slapping a hand on his mouth as he blatantly teases and asks you about the wet dreams he has been seeing which wakes him up with a tent in his pants.
"Let's brainstorm.", Jihoon is setting his briefcase on the table suddenly, taking out some flaps.
You eye him in suspicion, "Did you hit your head again, you're acting strange. You're acting like my Jihoonie."
The corners of his lips twitch, trying to suppress a smile, "Maybe your Jihoonie wants to make a comeback."
"I'll be waiting with my arms wide open, I miss my boyfriend.", you admit, your tone emitting sadness, your gaze meets his and you're smiling, "Thanks Jihoon."
Maybe that night at his workplace, you read it all wrong. Maybe your mind was too tired, your heart was too hurt so they made a fuss over nothing because you know your Jihoon would never do something to hurt you, even when he can't remember you. Even though his head can't recognise you, there's a hope that his heart would still beat for you.
He grins wider, "Don't get me wrong, I just came here to test your problem solving abilities."
"You should be thanking the heavens that I didn't choose law as my career, you'd have been jobless otherwise.", you retort smugly.
Maybe running your mouth isn't the best option, especially when with Jihoon because now he's running his fourth hypothetical case with you, pinching your arm whenever your drowsy eyes are shutting close.
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"Another wedding?", you hum in delight, "Ah, god bless you."
Joshua laughs, "Is it such good news to you that another of my friends is getting married?"
"Isn't it obvious? It keeps the business running.", you muse, eating the brownies he has baked for you, "This is the 4th one right? Why are all your friends getting married this year?"
Joshua ponders, "Beats me as well. How are the brownies, sweetheart? I tried a new recipe today."
"And it's my new favourite.", you say, making him grab a bite of his own baking, "Makes me wanna kiss your hands."
He unabashedly holds his hands to your face only to get a swat.
"That's not what you said you'd do, sweetheart.", he feigns offense, "Shouldn't you start commissioning me by now? I think I bring in a fair share of customers."
He's absolutely right. Joshua is people's people. Everyone knows him. You knew Soonyoung through Joshua, in fact most people know others via him. 
The common link, the mutual friend that everyone talks about is actually Joshua Hong. He's the gossip monger, nothing gets past him. Not even the fact that you had gotten into a relationship. 
You were an expert in keeping personal matters under the sleeves and as asked by Jihoon, only Soonyoung was made known. But two weeks under his observation and he's declaring that there's no point in hiding, that he can tell by your body language that you're dating.
You didn't deny, you knew Joshua is perceptive. Though you felt bad for hiding who you're dating, he waved it off with all smiles stating he'll get to know when the time is right.
"Correct, I should start commissioning you but for baking me the best confectioneries.", you chirp happily, "The lemon drizzle chocolate cake you made at the previous wedding, I can't stress how good it was. Only you could make chocolate and lime flavour work like magic."
"You look happy, sweetheart.", Joshua comments casually, "How's things going with Mr. Boyfriend?"
"It's complicated, Josh.", your mood sets down.
Joshua takes a look at your face and decides to drop the topic.
"What do you think of me, Josh?", you ask with a serious tone, throwing him off bound.
"You want the truth, sweetheart?", he asks softly, his hand already atop yours, rubbing your skin soothingly.
Just one please from you and Joshua is baring his heart out, "I don't know who made you doubt yourself but to me, you're my rock. I have tons of friends but you're among the ones I'd always seek solace. When I had no one, you were there to support me."
He smiles embarrassed as you catch his teary eyes. Joshua is always cheery but there are rare moments like this where you get to see his vulnerable side.
"I was almost out of business when you took me under your wing until I had accumulated enough capital and reputation to establish the standalone business.", he fondly pats your head, "You barely knew me then, just know that you saved my life back then. So I'd never accept anything apart from compliments from anyone about you."
"Joshua Hong, it's too early, don't make me cry.", you say wiping your tears.
His laugh reverberates pleasantly, "You look pretty even when crying, sweetheart."
"You mean ugly."
"I said what I meant, sweetheart."
You could never win against Joshua.
"You're going to Soonyoung's housewarming party right?"
"Only if you're going.", Joshua sighs, leaning back, stretching his arms, "Socializing can be pretty tiring, sweetheart, so I need you as my charge-up."
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Soonyoung thinks, no he's sure that Jihoon has been acting differently.
"Weeks ago", Soonyoung pulls up his phone, "I even have proof, you said you weren't coming to my housewarming party. I was hurt, I still am."
Jihoon grimaces.
"You said that you won't go if Y/N's going.", he almost shoves the phone on the lawyer's face, "And now you're here just to ask if she's coming. Why does it matter so much?"
Jihoon gets a little frightened when he sees Soonyoung holding up his hand. He's gonna count points now and after each point, Jihoon knows he's gonna get earfuls.
"First of all, I'm your friend so why does it matter who's coming or not. You should be there ", one finger down.
"Second, unlike you, Y/N is a decent person who doesn't abandon her friends.--"
"When did I abandon you--"
Without batting an eye, Soonyoung continues, "Third, I don't care if you're coming or not."
Jihoon cowers when Soonyoung puts his hand down smiling, almost eerie, "Now, tell me what changed? Are you getting your memories back?"
"Well maybe? First I've been having dreams, now they've turned into flashes. It has been difficult, this whole thing since the accident. But I think I'll get those missing pieces of my memories back soon.", Jihoon smiled wistfully.
"You better be on your knees and apologize to your girlfriend when you do so.", Soonyoung says with an undertone but smiles nonetheless, "I deserve an apology as well."
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"Did you just curse?", your brows crease. 
When there's nothing but silence that follows, your eyes squint as you speak again, "So you're not gonna answer me?"
Jihoon frowns, "Who's Joshua and why are you taking him with you as your plus one?"
"We both didn't have a plus one so we decided to go together, that's it.", you explain, "And I know you said you wouldn't go to the party if I go so what's the problem here?"
"Can you stop please?", he pouts and you fight back the strong urge to kiss it away, "It was before, now I want to go but with you."
You grin, "Sorry, but I can't ditch Josh. There's time, find someone."
He nods, accepting defeat. He follows you from the kitchen to the dinning as you set the plates on the table.
You both have fallen into a routine, Jihoon has been acting awfully comfortable around you lately. He drops by your place anytime, he knows your passcode. When you call to remind him about having meals he makes excuses to see you. 
"The lawsuit against the insurance company that I've been working on", he says sitting across from you, "The one we discussed last month, I am planning to try the method you suggested. You might be right, I think these people are collectively trying to extort money in the name of insurance from the company, all of them have huge debts piled up and they're in a closely knitted group."
"Jihoon, let me warn you, it might be the case that your client is actually the perpetrator. What would you do then? You're supposed to fight for your client, not against them. You'll lose trust, people won't come to you."
"Then let it be. Maybe I'd get less cases, but people who are wrongfully accused would have their trust in me. I won't side with those who are on the wrong side of the law."
You give him a proud smile as you both eat in a soothing silence before he leaves your apartment as it drizzles outside.
By the time Jihoon reaches his apartment, the dizzles have turned into a heavy downpour with lightning jagging across the sky. And by the time he's out of the shower he can hear the thunderstorms soaring.
His head hurts with an intensity causing his knees to buckle up. There's a flash again and despite the ache, he's searching for his car keys.
Yet another one of his numerous calls remains unreceived. With every second that ticks away, Jihoon feels his heart constricting. However, his eyes glints hope when he sees the glimpse of the familiar building, nearing it.
His nervousness causes him to mispunch the code a fair number of times. Entering, he comes across an expected sight. The surroundings are pitch black, just becoming visible when the lightning strikes. 
"Y/N?", he shouts. No response. He puts on the flashlight of his cell phone and starts searching for you cautiously. He takes a deep breath, all he has to do is search across a hall, two rooms and a kitchen.
"Y/N?", he shouts again. Still no response. Just as he's about to stride towards the bedroom, from the corner of his eyes he spots a silhouette somewhere in the kitchen. He turns, focusing the flashlight, to see your weak form. You are supporting yourself by the counter with your fingers jabbed into your ears. His gaze softens.
He lunges towards you, engulfing your shaking form into a tight hug, "Shh...I'm here."
"Ji...", you voice out weakly, wrapping your hands around his waist instantly. The call of this nickname stirs something within him. He rubs your back, peppering soft kisses on your forehead. Another lightning strikes and you're shivering in his embrace.  
The raindrops hitting the window panes erupts the stillness of the night. Only with the rain stopping, you find yourself calming down. And you find yourself in Jihoon's embrace.
"How did you-- Why did you come back?", you ask, pulling away but Jihoon doesn't let go of you.
He wipes your tears and observes you carefully, "Are you okay now?"
You nod, "Thanks, Jihoon."
"I felt like I needed to be with you. I don't know how but I just knew that you've astraphobia so I drove back as fast as I could."
You feel a sense of relief, "You already knew, you're just starting to get your memories back, Jihoon."
He stares at you, his eyes darting to your lips often. 
You stare back at him, his eyes asking for your permission.
There's an unspoken consent and instantly, his lips are on your. Pressed against the counter, he grabs the back of your neck deepening the kiss. His thumb runs against the column of your throat, making your head go dizzy.
You gasp into the kiss when he lifts and sets you up on the counter. 
"Ji..", you say breathlessly, "We probably shouldn't--"
His lips work now, trailing hot kisses down your neck and collarbone, "I want to love my girlfriend, is it so wrong?"
"Whom you don't even remember--", another kiss to shut you up. The way you moan is enough for Jihoon to almost make a mess in his pants. 
"Which room?", his voice is thick with desire as he carries you now, not breaking the intense eye contact. "Tell me before I fuck you against the wall.”
One hand slides between your legs while the other supports your weight, as he lays you on the bed his fingers exploring through the fabric of your dress. “Tell me to stop.", he whispers against your neck, nipping slightly.
"Don't stop, Ji", you whine and that breaks him completely. 
His breath catches in his throat at your intense gaze and he leans down to whisper in your ear his hands trail down your sides, making you shiver. His hands push your panties down, sliding the fingers across your wet slit, “Was it lonely here without me?”
“Please Ji, need you.”
With a gentle yet firm grip, he holds your wrists above your head. “You're so adorable when you're needy like this…”, he presses his lips to your neck, trailing kisses downwards, “Such a perfect, impatient thing.”
He hooks his fingers in your thighs, pulling your legs around his waist as he settles between your thighs. He looks down at you with loving eyes, his voice dropping to a husky whisper "My love, you're killing me with these eyes.”
Your body moves on its own, trying to find friction, soft gasps coming out each time you feel his hard clothed length.
A deep chuckle escapes him, "So responsive. Is this what you wanted? To make me go wild?" He leans down, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss while one hand traces your curves, “Such a good girl.”, he whispers against your lips.
He breaks the kiss to look into your eyes, his own burning with desire, "I'm going to take you hard and fast, tonight.”
A wolfish grin spreads across his face at your eager response. In one swift motion, he tears off your clothes, leaving you bare before him. His eyes darkens with lust as he takes in the sight of you. "Damn, you're gorgeous." he growls, quickly shedding his own clothes.
He settles back between your thighs, his hardness pressing urgently against you. With a sharp inhale, he slides into your welcoming heat, filling you completely. "Fuck, you feel incredible," he groans, setting a relentless pace. His hips snapping against yours with each powerful thrust.
He leans down to roughly claim your lips, swallowing your moans as he continues his frenzied pace. His hands grip your hips tightly, fingers digging into your soft flesh as he holds you in place. "Take it, baby. Take every inch of my cock.”
“Fuck, missed you so much Ji, missed being ruined by you.”, you say in between of sobs and gasps, clenching around him.
His movements become more urgent, more possessive. He knows you're close, and it only spurs him on, "Squeeze me just like that. Milk my cock with your perfect little pussy.”
With a feral growl, he buries himself deeper inside you, grinding against your g-spot as he unleashes a torrent of thrusts. Your screams of pleasure fill the room as you reach your peak, your inner walls convulsing around his pistoning cock.
As you come down from your high, he continues to pound into you mercilessly, seeking his own release. His face contorts with pleasure as he chases his climax, his body glistening with sweat. 
With one final, brutal thrust, he explodes inside you, his hot seed filling your womb as he roars his release. He collapses on top of you, his heavy breathing the only sound in the room as he tries to catch his breath. "Fuck... Are you okay?”
He nuzzles his face against your neck, his body still trembling as he asks softly, "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?" 
His large hands gently roam your body, checking for any bruises or marks from his rough handling. "Answer me, please?”
A sigh of relief escapes him as he feels your gentle nod against his cheek. "Good", he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your neck. He gently nips at your lower lip, "Though I do need to lotion those lovely handprints on your hips... they're quite noticeable.”
“If I let you, it'll lead to another round.”, you say, still breathless and smiling.
“I wouldn't mind. Would you?”, he waggles his eyebrows comically, trying to elicit another giggle from you and maybe get inside you again.
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Seeing the crowd, you realize that Soonyoung, if not as much as Joshua, is quite popular.
There's a very limited amount of people you can recognise and the majority you don't. You stick close to Joshua and leave his side when the flock of people keep coming and greeting him.
"There you are.", Soonyoung smiles as you hand him a gift, "How's things going?"
You understand the insinuation, giving a genuine wide grin, "A lot better, you must be knowing, he's getting his memories back bit by bit."
He pats on your shoulder, "Soon, he'll be remembering it all."
Though it's crowded but there's a touch of coziness, you like the atmosphere. Taking permission from Soonyoung, you make a quick tour of his new house. It's impressive, it's warm given the purpose, he bought this house to settle in once he gets married. His parents, including him, have been looking for a partner for him.
You conquer a table at the corner, sitting quietly and sipping on the drink that the host himself has given you. 
"There you are, sweetheart.", Joshua settles beside you, taking a sip of what you were drinking.
Joshua is extremely fun and must have a person to be around, specially at the parties. He would point at random people and drop the juiciest gossip about them. What makes it more interesting is that Joshua's memory is photographic and storytelling is top notch.
You'd ask him about something that occurred four years ago he'd be spilling it all out unabashedly, doesn't even need a brush up.
'Just got here, Soonyoung told me you're in the lawn, I'll come and find you.'
A smile creeps up on your face as you read the text from Jihoon, keeping your phone aside.
Joshua demands your attention once again as he points at a woman, wearing an unmistakable neon coloured jacket.
"That's Arong", he says, "Runs her own boutique. She's a Richie rich."
You squint your eyes to figure her out and surprisingly she's someone you know. She's the same woman you had seen visiting Jihoon's office.
With your interest picked, you ask, "How do you know her?"
"We're good friends, went to the same university.", Joshua eyes glint as if he remembers something amusing, excitedly turning his head to look at you, "She's quite a character you know, she used to hangout with a guy discreetly. I think they had the same group and wanted to keep it low. She's not the kind to commit to a relationship."
You listen quietly.
His eyes turn big, emitting specks of energy as he continues, "Here's the interesting part. She knew that the guy liked her, even after that, she indulged him, went on dates, hooked up with him, all of this went on casually. But when the guy finally asks her out, she brushes him off."
Joshua laughs, "Can you believe it? She doesn't even reject him, she just brushes him off. Imagine the humiliation the guy faced.", he quotes, "By the way, it's not her first drill. From what I heard, all her words not mine, that the guy was really invested in her and wasn't willing to give up, must be a romantic kind. It's kinda blurred out on what happened but she did kinda bruise his ego."
There's something unsettling about this whole narrative. You don't know why but your chest caves in.
"So some days later, he comes back only to tell her that he's dating. Such a foul move.", he sighs, "Amidst all of this, I feel bad for the girl he is dating. I mean she's basically a rebound and probably doesn't even know. It was so wrong, he shouldn't have played it like that. How can he play with someone's feelings when he has practically gone through that himself?"
"When did this happen, Josh?", you ask in a quiet voice, "Do you know his name?"
Joshua ponders for a moment, of course he remembers, "This happened almost three years ago. If I had to be specific, hmm, I think it's around when you start dating as well.", he misses the way face pales, "I don't know his name but I have seen him once or twice while I was face timing Arong. Not sure if he's invited to this party."
'Found ya.'
Your phone buzzes with Jihoon's text and you look ahead to see him walking towards you. 
"That's him!", Joshua points out at Jihoon, "He's the guy we just talked about! Oh my god, why is he coming towards us?", he turns his head again to look at you, "Do you know him?"
It all makes sense now. Jihoon's agreement to date you, to him emphasising on keeping it hidden, to his non commitmental attitude. You've been played. You should have known.
Jihoon is in front of you now and all you tell Joshua before walking out is, "Stop Jihoon from following me."
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The party was on Sunday and it's Friday when you decide that you won't be taking any more work, won't work except for the scheduled ones, to give yourself a long break. It feels rewarding after spending effort tirelessly throughout the year.
You're exhausted physically, mentally and unavailable emotionally.
Ending things with Jihoon was easy because there wasn't anything to end in the first place. 
You've met Arong, you've met her in the presence of Joshua, Soonyoung and Jihoon himself. This was specially to let Jihoon know what he has done, to hold  him accountable for something that doesn't remember. 
"I'm breaking up with you."
You aren't crying, not a single choke in your voice, eyes void of any emotion.
"Since you don't remember any of it, not even us being in some sort of relationship", your hands ball into a fist, gaze lowering, "And since none of it was ever real, I'm sure you're relieved."
"Y/N, please--"
"If you ever get your memories back, please don't make it an excuse to come see me. I don't want to see or talk to you ever again."
Jihoon grabs your hand once you turn to walk out, "I don't believe that I could do something like this. I'll get my memories back and when I do, let me--" 
"No don't.", Joshua steps up, yanking your arm out of his grip, "Didn't you hear what she said?"
"And who are you to come between us?"
"Someone who's does not play with feelings."
And all of a sudden there's a scuffle. Jihoon is grabbing the collar of the shirt Joshua's wearing and the latter tackles him down on the ground.
You watch in horror, as the two grown men indulge in a fight where the rest had to step in to separate them.
"The audacity, ridiculous!", Joshua huffs as you and Arong hold him.
"Says the one who doesn't know boundaries!", comes Jihoon's retort in Soonyoung's hold.
His eyes dart back at you, holding so much vulnerability that if you hadn't known the truth, he'd be in your arms by now.
"Y/N, I don't believe that it was all an act, that I hadn't fallen in love with you. It can't be, my head might not remember but my heart has definitely not forgotten you."
You chuckle bitterly, "That's delirium, Jihoon. You're busted and now making excuses. You had something important to tell me, you were on the phone with me when the accident happened. The way you had been acting before that, I'm sure you were going to break up with me. So save it. We're done. It's over."
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"To the last wedding of the year!"
You raise your glass to the toast absentmindedly, waiting for the head of catering services to finish his speech.
"We're done with the headache.", Wonwoo leans in to speak into your ear.
A slap on his arm but you're laughing nonetheless, "You shouldn't be saying that."
Rolling his eyes, Wonwoo enunciates, "They asked for the change of flower arrangement three times. You know how difficult it is to convince the suppliers at the last moment."
You give him a pat on his shoulder, "You did great as always though. Imagine being in Joshua's shoes, he had to add two tiers to the cake as a last moment request."
"He's a saint for agreeing to it, I'd never--"
"Wonu, that's our job, as long as it's not unrealistic, we'll try to fulfil it.", your tone is reprimanding.
"So we're leaving as planned on the weekend right?", he speaks over your shoulder, as you check off the items from the inventory list.
You both are now behind the barracks, wrapping things up, "Yes.", turning to look at him you thank him, "Also, sorry for crashing in the trip along with Junhee."
"Oh please, my girlfriend absolutely loves you, maybe more than me? And your house is literally on the way, so no sweat at all", Wonwoo laments, shaking his head, "Junhee has been feeling guilty about what happened. She blames herself, you met Jihoon because he was handling her aunt's case back then."
"It's not her fault. I'll talk to her, maybe she needs some lecture on how to not connect dots every time.", you frown, "And thanks. I'm glad that I got some people who are genuine even though my person wasn't."
All Wonwoo does is give you an empathetic smile.
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Jihoon leaves no stones unturned.
"Doctor, I'm willing to do anything", his hands are clasped in desperation, "Please, help me get my memories back."
The doctor sighs, he's tired of seeing Jihoon's face every other day. The doctor gets the urgency but his patient is not understanding the implications.
"What do I need to do? Any brain exercising? New medicines? I'm ready to be a guinea pig for scientific research as well. Just name it, I'll do it if it brings my memories back."
His house is a mess. He's searching every corner, every shelf, every drawer but he gets nothing significant, nothing to get back his memories of you.
Soonyoung quietly watches over as Jihoon lays in slumber. He was finally able to get his friend to sleep, an attempt to free him from restlessness even if it's for limited time.
He can't bear to see his dear friend in this condition anymore and almost calls you but he doesn't because it's not his place. He only hopes for you both to be freed of despair.
The hunt goes on, Jihoon looks like a wreck, he is a wreck. Tries to hit his head again, thanks to Soonyoung's presence he's saved, tries unprescribed/unwarranted pills for memory loss and gets admitted to hospital. Vomits tons, loses appetite along with weight.
A hard slap lands across his face and Jihoon winces. Soonyoung had enough. He gives him a diary which Jihoon recognises as his own.
"I found this on top of the almirah, while you were admitted. You can search the obvious places. I haven't gone through it but it's your personal diary. Hopefully this will help."
And it certainly does. Maybe the accident had made him forget about his most important habit. He goes through it, consumes whatever he has written.
Each page hits a nerve, bringing back visions.
He now knows two things, he definitely liked Arong and found you annoying.
When Arong rejected him, he wasn't surprised. He knew Arong, he knew it was something she could pull. His heart wasn't bruised, it was his ego. He couldn't take it.
And you came into the picture, an annoying woman who likes him. Even though he's a rational lawyer, his practicality leaves him when goes by when decides to follow the classic 'to get over someone is to get under someone else'.
It was fine, he found you tolerable. But his initial plan of breaking up after dating a few months started to crumble when he found himself worrying about you, wanting to see you more and yearning for you more. He was rational after all, so he knew it was him changing. His feelings for you ran deeper than what he had for Arong.
He realised that he liked Arong but he loved you, he loves you now.
And as the realisation settles in again, into the present Jihoon, he falls apart.
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You don't like the vibe, no you hate it. Your mother doesn't stop making your favourite dishes, your sister doesn't even throw banter, always agreeing with whatever you're suggesting for Christmas tree decoration and your father keeps on buying you presents discreetly which is also not so discreet.
And somehow, Seungkwan, your sister's boyfriend, is walking on eggshells whenever he's around you.
You miss the laughs, you miss the dramatics, you miss the goofiness.
"I'm not dying, y'all. This isn't the end of the world either."
Silence.
"Can we get back to normal? You all are being extraordinarily nice to me and every time you do so I think about the reason and it makes me think about him which is certainly what I don't wanna do."
You lower your gaze again, mind involuntarily going back to Jihoon, the way he fooled you within the entire span of your relationship. Your naive nature acts as a blindfold, causing you to trust people easily and you take pride in it because you are surrounded by good people who never took advantage of it but that's until Jihoon happened.
You gave him your heart, he crumpled upon it and your trust, he stomped on it.
"We're re-doing the deco of the Christmas tree, it's awful.", your sister, Eunha proclaims, "You just sit and watch."
You look at her, a smile gracing your lips and it's contagious, everyone is smiling.
And follows chaos, returns the banter and it's all over the place as the liveliness reappears. You watch it all with your lips curl up.
Christmas comes as fast and you're really excited, first because you know this year you're getting most gifts, second, like every time you won't have to leave the day after, you have a whole month to yourself, to be around your loved ones.
The house lights up in your favourite colours and you chirp around the house happily.
"So when are you going to propose?", you bump his shoulder, whispering into his ear as he prepares the batter for the cake.
Being the dramatic he is, Seungkwan gasps, glares and bumps back at you, "March, on her birthday. She'd like the ring right?"
"She'd love it, it's so beautiful. I can't wait to capture how ugly she'd look while crying.", you laugh at the thought.
"Hey! Watch it, she'll be beautiful even if she snots.", he retorts, "Our babies will be pretty."
"Oh my god, such a simp.", you fake a gag, "I'm gonna puke."
He suddenly pats your back, without looking at you and that somehow conveys that he's there for you.
As the night draws in, you excuse yourself and beeline into your room, locking the door, giving your parents and your sister and her boyfriend some time to themselves. They are bundled on the couch and the carpet in pairs sharing loving gazes and gentle touches.
As you lay on the bed, your favourite pillow starts to get stained with your tears. Your body shakes with sobs as you hide your face behind your palms.
You miss Jihoon.
You miss his voice, his laughs. You miss his silent affection, the way his gaze affirmed many unspoken words.
It's been four months since you called off things. And it hurts how easy it was for him to accept it all, the lack of contact says it all. You haven't blocked him anywhere and he hasn't tried reaching you either.
Why would he? You gifted him the only thing he wanted from you, a break up. Maybe love isn't the same for all, maybe it doesn't come in the same form.
There are repeated knocks on your door and you lay holding your breath, hoping whoever is on the other side thinks that you've fallen asleep and leaves.
The knocks don't stop, they only become frantic and you hear Eunha's distraught voice, "Y/N, you need to be out asap. Only you can stop dad please!"
What could have happened? You rush off to the bathroom to wash your face before opening the door.
You freeze watching the scene unfold.
Jihoon getting on his knees at the doorstep, bowing his head down in front of your seething father who's holding an umbrella, it's end pointed at him.
"Sir.", he calls your father calmly, bringing everyone's attention back to him.
"You must know what I have done to your daughter. I'm ready for whatever punishment you have for me."
He looks at you, as if his words are for you, "Beat me as much as you want, don't look at my face if it disgusts you but when your rage resides please hear me out. I won't leave until you listen to me. So if you want to get rid of me, you'll have to listen to me.", Jihoon gives a sad smile before grabbing the edge of the umbrella and resting it on his shoulder.
"Have you gone mad?", you scold him, "Get up."
He raises his hand to stop you from rushing towards him. He chooses to ignore your words, his gaze trained on your father.
"Are you contemplating, Sir?", he chortles, "Wasn't it bad enough, what I did to your daughter?"
You shake your head, closing your eyes. You know what Jihoon is doing, he's provoking your father and everyone else.
The rage that had subsided a bit, seems to reignite as your father tightens his grip on the object on his hand.
And you could only watch through it.
"She's the youngest of the household, we've raised her with love, pampered her to bits!"
"The last thing we want is to see her in tears that too on a day like this!"
"How dare you show your face here after breaking her heart in the worst way?"
And the words keep pouring in.
Jihoon is squeezing your arm into a tight grip, hissing in pain.
"What's your motive this time?", you ask while dabbing one of the bruises with disinfectant, particularly hard making him wince, "The Lee Jihoon, I know doesn't care about anyone except himself."
Jihoon's unwavering gaze does nothing to answer your queries and you refuse to meet his eyes.
"You can stay in my room for the night, leave by tomorrow morning, as early as possible."
Just as you get up to leave, he stands as well, blocking your path.
"I lost the insurance lawsuit case.", he says, searching for your eyes, "I ratted out my own clients."
"You came all the way here just to tell me this?"
He shakes his head down, with a small stretch of lips. When he looks up again you're shocked to see tears in his eyes.
"I got my memories back, Y/N.", his voice cracks, "All of them."
"Great.", you scoff in distaste, "I had already warned you to not make it an excuse to see me."
He kneels again, on both knees, "Would you please give me a chance to explain?"
You hate it to admit but you've never seen Jihoon this vulnerable. If anything, he's the type to carry pride and arrogance in his aura. He has never (his words) bowed to anyone and here he is doing it for the second time tonight.
"Jihoon, it doesn't matter anymore. You may not have loved me for even a moment, but I did, with all my heart. And I don't want to go through it all over again.", you say, urging him to be on his feet, "It won't change our past, but it has definitely changed the way I am going to perceive people now."
Jihoon lets out a sob and you freeze.
"I love you, Y/N.", he chokes out in words, as his sobs turn into cries, "That was what I was going to tell you on the day of the accident. I had been so ansty because I realised I was in love, I was going to come clean, I was going to confess."
"I just wanted a honesty in our relationship, you built it entirely around the other way. You didn't love me when we got together but I thought you did and this is the pressing wound, I have."
You don't let him speak further, after putting a very restless Jihoon to sleep on your bed, you ponder over a lot of things.
It's been over a month and the dynamics between you two has changed. When Jihoon begged and begged to give him a chance, to prove himself worthy of you, you denied at first. You had forgotten how persistent Jihoon could be, how convincing he can be.
"Our relationship will be on a trial basis. And there are rules.", you declare with a bored expression, "First, you can't tell anyone we're dating. Second, don't expect me to update you about anything, if I feel like you'll get to know, if not then you won't. Third, skinship is allowed only behind closed doors. You have six months and if within that I feel like you're worthy, we make it public or we part ways."
You give it a last try, to push his buttons and make him admit that he can't be bothered to do this. That he isn't the kind to work under conditions. You're sure that this is when he finally stops.
The corners of your lips twitch as you suppress your triumphant smile. By the way Jihoon stays silent, you're sure he's speechless. And it's just a matter of time he walks out, he walks away from your life.
"I agree with all of it." he says with sincerity, "For the following six months, I'll be the boyfriend, you want me to be. Mold me into anything, I'll take the shape of your like."
Your heart constricts, brain shots, stupid senses, you wanna scream. You swear you'll break him under your watch, it won't be a month and he'll be bailing out.
And Jihoon swears, he'll get you back, that this time, that he'll love you right.
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It's Eunha's birthday and Seungkwan made you arrange a big event since she's gonna get proposed. 
You can't stress how nervous you are even after trying your best to suit the taste of everything to be of Eunha's liking along with calming Seungkwan who's about to puke anytime because of his anxiety hitting the roofs.
And now your sister's crying, her now fiancé is crying but you're bawling. It's so beautiful, the entire scene that it makes you a bit too emotional, so you go out to breathe some fresh air and calm your nerves.
You feel a presence beside you and suddenly your head is being downed on a shoulder.
"I have kept your favourite chocolates in your purse. Have them to calm your nerves, your cycle date is approaching. I have restocked the supplies.", Jihoon says, "And made sure that no one is watching us now."
You tangle your arm with his and watch the stars in awe.
"One of your aunts kept asking me if I am single since you introduced me as your friend.", he says, leaning his head against yours.
"What did you say?"
"That I am taken and so in love."
Your heart flutters.
Jihoon has become calmer than he already was. He does everything you say, no questions asked. He waits for you inside his car every night to escort you when you're done for the day. He texts you frequently, though it's mostly monologue without any expectations of getting a reply.
He sleeps on the same bed if you ask him to, he takes the couch when you don't. There's always an ask of consent if he wants a kiss.
Nothing is out of scope, he'll bring you the moon if you want it.
"You look the prettiest tonight, you always do.", he kisses the top of your head, "Thanks for wearing the brooch, I bought you."
"Jihoon", you look up, your face perched on his shoulder blade and gazes meeting, "Why do you always look at me like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like you love me.", your hand slips into his and he encases it as if his life depends on it.
"I do love you.", comes his immediate assurance, "I may not use nicknames, not big on PDA and not be expressive on texts. But I love you and even though I was late to confess the last time I hope at some point I made you feel loved, made you see that guy who's usually not a fan of skinship initiated hugs and held hands, who hates amusement parks had planned every outing there because you like it, who doesn't like carrots either but picks them out of your plate so you don't have to feel guilty for throwing them."
Tears prick at the corner of your eyes and do his.
It's true. Now as well, Jihoon doesn't text 'I love you's, doesn't use nicknames, nor does he gushes over. He's still silent, acts of service loud enough as his love language.
Jihoon looks away, exhaling sharply, "I'm sorry, I started dating to rebound. I think I'll regret this as long as I'm alive."
"I'm on a mission and you're making it impossible to follow through."
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It's snowing. Jihoon, as usual, waits for you to wrap things up. Today, he's standing in a corner, inside the venue as snow pours outside.
You are almost done with stuffs when you spot him. He smiles, eyes forming slits as you walk up to him.
His presence, you think, feels like a fresh breath in the hustle. You're just about to greet him when--
"Y/N!", you turn back to hear the yell of your name only to find one of your colleagues, Ahin, rushing towards you, "You forgot to take the inventory list."
Jihoon takes it as que to leave your side. He's about to turn but freezes when Ahin asks, "Who's he?"
As practiced, as he's been doing it for months, he's about to answer, "I'm her friend--"
"Boyfriend.", you cut him off, taking the papers from her hand, "This is Jihoon, my boyfriend."
Ahin is shocked, Jihoon goes stiff and you bite your lips to suppress your laugh. You know tomorrow's gonna be chaos at work.
As Jihoon crosses the threshold of your apartment, he's pressed against the closed door.
Your lips press on his with intensity while his hands tangle in your hair. It's a full makeout session and you're pulling him into the bedroom.
"Since when am I your boyfriend?", there's a tease in his tone as he looks up from between your legs, his chin glistening from your juices, "I thought we still have a month left?"
"Consider this as an early promotion.", you grab a fistful of his hair and push back his mouth to work on cunt, "Let's love now, Ji. Let's be together and happy."
"Let's love then.", he dives in, his tongue parting your folds and finding your clit. He circles it slowly, then sucks gently, coaxing a needy whimper from your lips.
He continues lavishing attention on your clit, his tongue alternating between rapid flicks and slow, sensual licks. One hand slides up to caress your breast, teasing your nipple gently. His other hand grips your hip, holding you steady as he pleasures you thoroughly.
"Ji, fuck!", your heads befalls on the pillows, eyes close shut.
His mouth is relentless, your pleasure his sole focus. He eats you out with abandon, his own hunger evident in the way he devours you. Your cries and whimpers only spur him on, his tongue never stopping its assault on your sensitive clit, "Fuck, you taste so good."
"Ji, can't hold back anymore", you're whimpering as the fisting on his hair tightens.
Upon hearing your breathy confession, Jihoon doubles his efforts, his tongue now moving in tight, rapid circles around your clit. He slips two fingers inside you, curling them just right to stimulate that perfect spot, "That's it, come for me. Wanna feel you fall apart on my tongue."
He can feel you tensing, your hips bucking against his face as you get closer to the edge. He growls around your sensitive flesh, the vibrations pushing you closer. He hooks his fingers deeper inside you, rubbing that spot mercilessly, "Now, Love now."
He continues to lick and suck, drawing out your orgasm until you're a quivering mess beneath him. Only then does he pull back, his chin glistening with your arousal. He climbs up your body, capturing your mouth in a deep, passionate kiss, letting you taste yourself on his lips.
He smiles against your lips feeling your fingers working on the button on his trouser.
"You'll have to leave early tomorrow morning," he says, grabbing both of your hands, "This was for you to have a sound sleep."
"But--"
"You can have me all you want tomorrow, after you return.", he is already descending down the bed to bring warm washcloth to clean you up, "Promise."
"Ji, next month, I'll be gone for a week."
Jihoon hums, as he cleans you up gently, "A destination wedding right?"
You hum sleepily, "Do you wanna join? We could extend the stay and use it as a break."
"I'll check my schedule and let you know. It's a good idea actually."
"I love you, Ji.", your drowsiness amuses Jihoon, as he watches you fall into slumber, "Wanna brainstorm cases with you for the rest of my life."
He presses a soft kiss on your forehead, listening to your soft snores, "And all I wanna do is be the best partner to you. I love you too, dearest darl+ing."
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inez-winchester-cameron · 2 days ago
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Could you write a longer one shot or smth about that pogue!reader x enemy!rafe? I love the concept sm!!💕💕
this is the post I'm thinking about:
thinking abt sweet lil pogue reader who cant stop thinking abt rafe..her supposed enemy even though she rubs her sticky cunt to the thought of him atleast 3 times before she can sleep..
our little secret
rafe cameron x pogue!enemy!reader
summary: you and rafe both have completely opposite but big reputations but something about him draws you in. in a sort of way that you can't quite explain, nor could you try explaining to your friends
cw: 2 year age gap, innocent and sweet reader, virgin reader, masturbating, suggestive, idek
note: i think id be willing to write more on this topic but i kept this mostly brief. requests open for spn and obx!!
you and rafe are complete opposites in nearly ever sense. rafe cameron is the king of the kooks, a drug addict, a party animal, with raging anger issues. you on the other hand are a sweet little member of the pogues, refuse to touch any drugs, and would rather be at home relaxing than go to a party. on top of that, your two groups are complete and total enemies. you and rafe are supposed to be enemies.
but rafe's always been nice to you, or atleast he's not a complete dick to you. whenever he sees you in public while you're alone, he always finds some sort of reason to talk to you.
"where's your little pogue friends, princess?"
"looking lonely, huh?"
"tell jj he better not show his damn face at one of my parties ever again. think you can handle that, princess?"
and during the altercations between the groups, he stays away from you, harassing the others, never you.
and you know it's wrong. he's a dick to your friends, he treats them like trash. but there's something about him.
maybe it's the big blue eyes or the height difference or the hair. or maybe it's the sweet little nicknames he calls you, and the longing looks he gives you.
whatever it was, it had you shoving your hand down your pants before bed every night. your mind came up with the wildest scenarios, the dirtiest shit.
rafe pinning you against the bathroom sink at one of his parties.
him pulling you away from your group and shoving his dick down your throat.
him calling you dirty names while you bounce on his cock, your tits in his face.
after one particular incident, you find yourself getting home asap to touch yourself. rafe had approached you at a party, where you stood alone. unlike the rest of your group, you were rather shy and all your friends left to be social.
as you stand alone, you sip on the cup that jj had filled for you earlier. you look around, nervously, hoping one of your friends returns to you soon. your heart starts beating faster as rafe cameron approaches you. he gives you a sickeningly sweet smile.
"hey princess, where are your little pogue buddies at?"
"with other friends.." you mutter.
"really? they're leaving a sweet little thing like you all by herself?"
"yeah i can take-" you start but you're interrupted.
"what the fuck are you doing?" jj suddenly asks, barging into the scene, pushing rafe away from you.
"fuck off, maybank, i didn't touch her," rafe says, putting his hands up, "i'll see you later, sweets." he winks at you before walking off.
-
later that night, as you lay in bed, you find yourself thinking about the incident. your hands are neatly laying on your stomach and as you think more and more you find yourself shoving one down your pj pants and underwear.
you sigh as your hand makes contact with your sticky cunt. you rub over your clit for a moment before spreading your lips apart, running a finger over your hole and spreading your slick along your cunt.
a few seconds later, you're shoving a finger up your cunt and whining. for the life of you, you could not get a good angle, ever. you always saw people raving about and talking about how good it feels to finger yourself or get fingered, but you could never get the right angle or feeling by yourself.
after a few moments of absolutely no pleasure, you pull you hand back, groaning. your phone buzzes and you jump a bit. your free hand reaches for it and you pause as you read your newest notification.
'rafecameronobx has requested to follow you'
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mbirnsings-71 · 11 days ago
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Madi actually not procrastinate on stuff challenge- see I had plans today, but then those got cancelled and like in any good neurodivergent fashion I'm like "Well shit what do I do now?" and well! That answer is this silly meme for my Wedding planner AU. Yes Jimmy and Grian are parasites on Joel's Netflix account- No he's not gonna kick them off. That's not what Family is about.
I swear one of these days I need to like do proper ref sheets for people in my AU just DFKVNFKBN GOD OKAY- I'll stop rambling but just know I have a lot of thoughts in my brain you guys are gonna get fed next year trust-
Close ups and the post that spurred this on are down below after the keep reading! just for efficiency and all that jazz!
Close ups:
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The Post that inspired this:
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iwonderwh0 · 4 days ago
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Whether algorithmically created (like tiktok, youtube, instagram, etc) or manufactured manually (like tumblr or 4chan), the inescapable nature of online echo chambers and their consequences terrifies and depresses me
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spinjitsuburst · 2 years ago
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been thinking about this all day but we know everyone’s made a Kai Possessed by Morro AU sometime or other
but i raise you
Morro possessing the OTHER ninja and what that would look like individually
I wanna see Zane with rusted parts and glowing green face plating
I wanna see Cole with glowing green lava arms
I wanna see Jay using the powers of wind and lightning together as a stormbringer (ignore that One Time jay used wind canonically we don’t talk about that)
just. the other ninja possessed by Morro please
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retrogradedreaming · 4 months ago
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I need to start thinking of ideas for the prompt list I made to get myself to sketch more in October, but instead I'm drawing self-indulgent comics about cats 😭
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taniushka12 · 8 months ago
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honestly if fucking..... alexcasey and ilmo and ahti are in nightless night you fucking KNOW alice and barry are in tom the poet, like conceptually, you know in your heart this is true
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sherlock-is-ace · 3 months ago
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seaofreverie · 3 months ago
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So busy with Sparkstember that I almost forgot that I go back to school on tuesday
#honestly maybe it's better this way. i'd rather just not care at all rather than be super stressed about it#just like i've been doing with every little thing for most of my life#might have missed the date when we were supposed to choose our elective courses. well whatever Lol#and i still don't even know what my schedule is or what classes i have this semester oopsie#well the university itself doesn't seem particularly pressed about giving us the schedule either#but i'd probably better still read up on the classes at least before they start#i don't have high hopes for this year just like with the last. probably should just stop pretending that i still want to study anything atp#this wasn't even my first choice of a course bcs i had to prepare for that damn exam to be accepted for my preffered one#but i couldn't be bothered to study for it again which probably should have told me enough abt whether going into this again is a good idea#i'm so tired just thinking about it but i know that actually looking for a job and then having a job will be a thousand times worse so uh#but at least i'd have my own money and start doing something ughhhh. useful maybe. who knows what it will be though#i have no ideaaaaaa. but this feels like just putting off the inevitable. like at some point i need to get my shit together#i will probably report at the end of the next week about how i'm so done already#i don't really knowwww mannnnnm. i don't feel like i had any vacation at all even though 3 months have already passed#and i also sort of didn't prepare something relatively easy to do that would have given me an actual document#that would confirm that i actually finished that part-time school thing last semester#can't really be bothered to come back to it at this point though#well at least i learned something actually useful and interesting from that and that's enough for me tbh#and a lot of it is also relevant to my current area of interest (digital drawing and computer graphics in general)#well speaking of which i'd better just get back to drawing now lol. just one more left to finish!!!#in short i guess that my new way of dealing with stress is just ignoring it all#well it's worked in some way at least so it can't be an entirely bad thing lol#goosepost
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hislittleraincloud · 5 months ago
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Fucking nah uh.
WHY this weird shit keep happening to me?
Your Girl, 1 (now 2) hours ago:
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Me, 5 days ago on Wednesday (in a conversation with Fic Wife):
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I mean, I guess that the top whore!Wednesday model in my messages works for Afterburn Wednesday, but still that's not the point....
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marklikely · 7 months ago
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letterboxd app apparently has added video ads bc i tried to view my activity and got hit with a 15 second unskippable ad... and deleted the entire app within 10 seconds of encountering this...
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krash-8 · 1 year ago
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oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh shit life really is beautiful little you was right oh fuck oh shit oh f
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kindaeccentric · 1 year ago
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I'm in bed on this gloomy Saturday morning thinking about how I'm never going to be a great artist in any area and therefore my life will never be satisfactory
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non-un-topo · 1 year ago
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At the crossroads between wondering if it's worth it to basically completely rewrite all my WIPs or just take a break from writing for the rest of the summer
#i noticed every summer i get progressively worse lol#like not in terms of writing but in terms of everything else goin on in my head#i mean if anyone is craving some dark and depressing shit i've got bits and pieces here#it's like i'm writing for an audience even in my own mind. can't finish anything because it's __ __ __ etc and my niche is too niche.#did my last fic really burn me out that much?? i mean it was basically 30 thousand words and there was a LOT packed into it#maybe i should finally respond to comments and i'll feel better.#something's been going on with me for the past couple months (maybe longer) and i'm just annoyed ALL the time#feel like i want to give up everything and stop talking to everyone. ((it could be my out of whack hormones mind))#so if i haven't been as active and haven't drawn or written much that's why. i'm pulling away and curling in like an atrophied limb.#my brain is just permanently in school mode. i can feel it gearing up for the oncoming year that's going to be super intense.#like would it even matter if i post any more work before september? idk why i can never seem to chill or take a break for even a minute.#i still have drawing projects i want to finish at least! taking me literally all summer because of surprise health problems.#partner was consoling me about how i feel for writing '''weird''' stuff with almost no focus on romance#saying that SOMEbody has to write what i write so that should keep me going. i just tell myself that it could be worse -#- i could be primarily a femslash writer. they are the real heroes and they get no respect.#idk why i'm getting so angsty#i think i might be romance/sex repulsed atm. not in real life at all but in fandom. i'm bored of it. and i'm bored of conversations about i#i'm sure i'll change my mind in what two weeks or so.#maybe i'll try to write something original#i have things in my ask box i should respond to. like asks about my writing. i just haven't been feeling well#so i haven't had the right brain to respond :( but i see the asks and i'm grateful <3#anyway peace and love
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iiiiiiis-things · 5 months ago
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idk just thinking about how you burst into your home damn near slamming the door shut, only for toji to stop it with the large palm of his hand before he smoothly walks in behind you. you're on 10 right now, stomping and shouting around the house (while your husband follows like a lost puppy) until you make your way to the kitchen yelling something about how it was "totally unnecessary to punch him" honestly toji didn't even know what the hell you were going on about, i mean he wasn't even listening. he silently convinced himself that it wasn't his fault- no it was definitely yours that he couldn't focus on the sweetness of your voice. i mean he just couldn't stop himself from trailing his eyes down to your ass, sinfully watching from his stance at the doorway as it jiggled with each hard step you took. "you can't keep doing this shit man-" your words go in one ear and out the other, again wasn't his fault, he can't help but think about is how fucking sexy you look right now. lace tussled into a slight mess, lip gloss smeared across your puffy lips because of how much you opened your fat ass mouth out of anger, and that dress ? oh that dress is what gotten you in the situation in the first place, the way it hugged your frame perfectly, mapping out each of your curves in all the right ways. had you not wore it like he told you to he wouldn't have had to beat his boss ass for staring at you a little to long. lashes that had been ripped off are still in his car, sitting prettily right on his dashboard, he couldn't care less in fact he was glad you took em off ecstatic even, toji loved to see you natural, toji thought you were so god damn fine
"what ?"
...did he say that out loud ?
"nothin'" he muffled out "are you even listening? see this the shit i'm talking about-"
toji wanted nothing more than to bend you over the kitchen island and shut your big ass mouth with each deep stroke he gave you, dick hitting deep in that gummy area that always turned you into mush whenever he found it, but alas he didn't, he knew you were angry, just didn't know why. aren't you glad he protected you from the preying eyes of his boss ? did it cost him his job ? maybe.. but it doesn't matter because it was all for you, his lovely wife. "here asshole" toji finally snapped out of his head when he felt you shove something against his chest before walking off. noodles ... you made him-
"a cup of noodles ?" he questioned following you out the kitchen "you didn't eat at the party." the scar on his pretty lips decided to rise. oh how sweet you were, even after being so pissed at his possessiveness you still cared enough to make sure he ate before the night was over but there was still one problem.. "you didn't either" "i'm not hungry." once you reach the bottom of the stairs he stops dead in his tracks "baby- where you going ?" "to bed." no hug ? no kiss goodnight ? no invite ? oh he fucked up.
smut! under the cut (18+)
"now do you forgive me?" voice comes muffled from beneath you as you ride out your nth climax of the night your husband had been sucking and licking into you for hours drawing out orgasm after orgasm. and shit were you ovulating? because you just can't get enough. "fuck" you roll you head back in pleasure riding the sweet sensation of his nose repeatedly brushing against your clit
*smack!*
"i asked you a question mama" you moan loudly at the combination of the nickname and his tongue thrusting in and out of you hitting that special spot each time. "y-yes baby" you grind down to match the rhythm of his tongue as he begins to play with the fat of your ass tugging and gripping tightly, encouraging you to move your hips faster "'m sorry baby, so so sorry" his lips wrap around your rednend clit while he stuffs two fingers into you. at this point you were so overstimulated but you just couldn't stop riding his face even if the world was ending. bringing a hand to his hair you push it back unveiling those gorgeous green eyes. toji looks up making eye contact with you, you begin feeling the tension that was building up about to finally burst (again) "i didn't mean to upset you" he wraps his fore arms around your things getting you to grind down even harder against his perfectly fat nose "i-it's okay toj- fuck you're so deep" "i just don't like when other boys stare at you" he couldn't even bring himself to call his boss a man. a man would never violate a women's privacy like that, basically eye fucking her while she's out with her man. you felt everything, every touch, and god you were so hot, moans were leaving your mouth left and right as you felt him continue sucking, his fingers thrusting into you so desperately as if they were asking for forgiveness too.
this was gonna be a longggg night .
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shitpostingsapphic · 26 days ago
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My favorite headcanons for caitvi are ones where they met as kids/teens, by far
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Like it's so fucking cute, the idea that Caitlyn would be immediately drawn to Vi due to her curiosity, and Vi can't help but be smitten by Caitlyn's atypical behaviors and willingness to explore new concepts and experiences and ideas.
Just like when they meet as adults in the original universe, their backgrounds should make them incompatible, but there's that inexplicable draw that brings them together.
Imagine Caitlyn tags along with Jayce to his visits in the undercity without telling her parents and can't stop staring at the pink haired girl she sees there at the shop, just hanging around, and they meet eyes, and BOOM, instant connection. Vi also sneaks glances and realizes she's never seen a Piltie girl her age this close before. She wonders if they're all this pretty.
Imagine Vi is sneaking around topside to catch glimpses of Caitlyn, because she feels like she shouldn't be so drawn to a Piltie, but she is anyway.
Imagine one day Caitlyn actually catches sight of Vi across the street as she tries to remain inconspicuous, but Caitlyn would recognize that pink hair in a heartbeat. Imagine she sneaks away from her mother or whoever she's with in order to go talk to her.
"It's you," she says, shy yet bold.
Vi, of course, tries to play it off. "Dunno what you're talking about, topside." But the blush on her cheeks tells another story.
Caitlyn ignores the very obvious attempts at ignorance. "I've been wanting to come visit the shop again, but it's hard for me to find the chance to get away from my mother. She's kind of overprotective."
Vi decides it's best not to play dumb, but can't completely be honest about wanting to see her as well. "You're sure you wanna share about your life with me? Maybe your mom's got a point, shouldn't associate with undercity trash and all."
Caitlyn frowns. "I don't think you're trash. That's silly. Why would you call yourself that?"
Vi is caught a bit off guard. "Isn't that what all you Pilties think of us?"
"I certainly don't." Caitlyn cocks her head as this leaves Vi without a response. "Why are you here, anyway?"
Vi stumbles around in her head for an answer. Shoves her hands in her pockets. Kicks a rock aside. Shrugs. "W-why are YOU talking to me?"
This makes Caitlyn smirk. "I DID say I've been meaning to come back to the shop. What do you think?"
"Dunno. Could want a number of things there." Vi has been staring at the ground but peers up at Caitlyn here. "Give me a hint?" The barest of upturned lips.
This makes Caitlyn break out into a genuine smile that steals Vi's breath a bit. "You're kind of adorable, you know that?"
Vi sputters. "Am NOT."
"Are so." Caitlyn tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Can't help but think the girl's freckles compliment her blush well.
Vi rolls her eyes, trying to pretend her brain isn't setting off fireworks. "I don't even know your name."
"Would you like to know it?" Caitlyn says, tilting her head.
"Since you insist on teasing me, I think it's fair."
"But you make it so easy," Caitlyn giggles. "Alright. I'm Caitlyn."
"Caitlyn," Vi breathes. Shakes her head. Clears her throat. Thrusts her hand out, scuffed up palms and knuckles and all. "I'm Vi."
"Vi. Pleasure to meet you." Caitlyn takes her hand without hesitation, notices how rough they feel compared to hers, incredibly intrigued.
"Caitlyn!" A voice calls. The girls both turn. It's her mother.
"Shit." Caitlyn breathes.
This makes Vi laugh, surprised. "Didn't know princesses could use words like that."
"Oh, hush." Caitlyn looks back at her, panicked. "I have to go. I'm sorry." Her eyes shift so they're alight with mischief. She jerks her head towards her mom. "You've got a talent for sneaking around, I assume?"
"And if I do?"
"Wait until we're out of sight. Maybe if you're good enough, you can stay under her radar." Caitlyn smirks. "Maybe you could teach me how to sneak about myself. Could come in handy."
Without giving Vi a chance to respond, she turns away, skirt swishing about.
And if Vi does exactly what Caitlyn says, following her home out of sight, and later taps at the same glass doors of the balcony she sees the girl disappear into after a while of spying, no one is the wiser. She figures she doesn't need to tell Vander what she's been up to just yet.
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