#i can't say much more about them for now as this will require me to delve deeper into the plot

[urhoneycombwitch]

pet me! :)

husky!neighbor!Eddie x Reader

foreword: read their meetcute backstory here if you wanna, not required but will help with setting! neighbor!Eddie mlist here! love you all thanks for eating him up as much as I love to too!!!

cw: modern setting, husky!neighbor!Eddie, soft dom Eddie, plus-size/fat Reader, R mentions dislike of work, R has breasts + wears shorts, a touch of subspace, some good ol’ fashioned grinding, fade-to-black sex (I'm sorry ya’ll I’m really trying to produce a full one soon I prommy!!)

wc: 1.1k

___

Your phone dings with an incoming text. 

bad day?

Resting one hip against the kitchen counter, a frown creases between your brows as you type a response.

yes… how’d you know?

Three dots, typing, and then-

could tell by the hall steps. stompy. 

You snort in amusement, reaching blindly for a tea towel to dry your hands while one thumb types-

trying out for stegosaurus in the local play. u think i have a chance?

Eddie sends a string of encouraging emojis, including the star eyes and theatre masks for dramatic effect, before saying-

sorry it was a bad one. Frank says he’s available for support petting. 

And a moment later- me, too, for the record. :)

You send a smiley face back, a mirror of your expression, promising to be over in a few minutes after you change into something less work-formal. 

Eddie’s never been shy about the parts of you he loves seeing (all, but namely: thighs); excitement zings through your veins as you pull on a pair of clean undies, soft spandex shorts, a loose-fitting shirt that’ll likely spend more time on the ground than on your frame. 

When you cross the couple of yards to Eddie’s door, you hear his voice from the other side calling to you- 

“Door’s unlocked!”

Eddie’s half-reclined on his couch, the upper-half of a big pitbull making a resting place of his lap. When you enter, Franklin’s tail thunk thunks the cushions before he lumbers to the floor to greet you.

“Hi baby,” you coo, nudging the door shut and dropping to your knees to pet the soft black fur of Frank’s solid head. “Did you miss me?”

He pants a pink-tongued smile, bumping his back into your legs for more petting even as you get back up and make your way over to Eddie. 

“Sure, greet the drooly beast instead,” Eddie pouts. 

He’s looking handsome tonight. Black tanktop showing off the black ink that snakes over his biceps, his broad shoulders; half-up hair leaving curls to fall around the guitar pick sitting center of his chest. 

Everything about him seems to be simmering as you situate yourself in his lap, dark cinnamon eyes not leaving your face as your knees come to rest outside his hips. Even from here, he smells like that familiar spiced cologne, faint notes of motor oil and salt underneath. 

You place your hands gently to the sides of his face, cradling, smoothing over the apples of them with your thumbs. “I believe you requested a petting. Was that of the heavy variety, or…?”

Eddie chuckles, dimples coming to life under your palms. He widens his stance on the floor slightly to accommodate your thighs pressing into his, pelvis aligned now with your short sleep shorts, his denim bulge... 

You drag a hand down the front of his chest, coy and wanting. He can't help but tease.

“Work was just awful, then? Since you need it this bad?”

Even as Eddie pokes fun, he’s comforting, hands sliding warm up your bare arms, under the sleeves of your tee, making sure his words land soft.

“Truly.” There’s an edge of exhaustion when you say the word. You shake your head lightly, then dip forward to kiss under Eddie’s jaw with a murmur- “But I’d rather not talk about work.”

Your hips grind down. Eddie inhales, sharp, nodding best he can with your lips pressing into his neck- “Yeah, sweetheart. ‘S fine by me.”

From the other end of the couch where he’d just resettled, Franklin thumps back down to the carpet, waddling off in the direction of the bedroom.

You sit up in the middle of sucking a hickey with a wet pop, bewildered. “Did you… teach your dog to, like, leave the room when you start making out with someone?”

Eddie runs a line down your neck with a ringed index finger. “Nah. He came to me that way, yanno? Polite, with manners.”

Eddie grins, and your stomach flips.

“Unlike me.” 

He cups the back of your head in one hand, the other moving smoothly to pin your right thighs to his. In the same breath, Eddie brings your neck to his mouth and bites over that tender, sweet spot behind your ear.

It has the desired effect- the noise punches out of you in a heady whine, Eddie’s pelvis rocking up in perfect tandem. 

“You need this, right?” Eddie asks, still holding you by the scruff, basically, keeping you in place on his lap. “Gonna let me take what I want?”

Your nod comes swiftly. Brain half-static at the feeling of his hard length of his cock pressing into your leg.

“That’s good.” Eddie sucks a mark above your exposed collarbone, then decides he wants your shirt off; with a tug and wiggle, you’re helped out of it, and it gets tossed to the floor. 

With a single hand, Eddie encircles your wrists, lifting to settle them on the cushion above your head, the weight of him pressing in on all sides with this new angle.

Eddie sucks his way down the newly exposed skin as you wriggle fruitlessly under his solid form; he’s humming to himself, something low and throaty as he bites and sucks over the fatty breast tissue spilling out from your bra cups.

The only movement you can make- that Eddie’s allowing you to make- is one that brings you closer to his mouth, an arch in your spine, a stretch of your arms- you’re caged in.

Just the way you like.

Trailing more wet kisses across the space of your cleavage, the trailing ends of Eddie’s hair tickle your bare skin, goosebumps cascading in the wake. He murmurs again into the softness of your skin-

“Just need me to take care of you, hm?”

You’re honestly not sure if he’s talking to you or your boobs at this point. That delicious close-to-nothingness that happens in your brain when Eddie takes over is so close, you can taste the edges of blissful static with each squeeze of your pinned wrists.

“Please,” you breathe, hoping it’s the last word he’ll make you say.

Eddie obliges. Makes one more set of teeth prints at the base of your neck, noses his way back to your lips for a kiss, tongue gliding hot against the roof of your mouth.

He tightens his grip on your wrists, testing, raising one dark brow as he asks, “If I let go, you gonna be good? Keep ‘em right there.”

Eddie guides your palms downwards, helping your fingers find the edge of the cushion seam to hold.

Once he’s sure you’re obeying, his weight shifts again- this time, to accommodate a slow slide down your body. 

His palms are warm at the edges of your sleep shorts, pulling them down with a gentleness that seems to directly oppose the intensity of his gaze on your stomach.

Dropping another kiss to your tummy, like he just can’t help himself, Eddie speaks again.

“Hold on tight.”

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 71

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Pearl's pov*

You made an habit of walking trough the gardens, the plants seems to be looking better then ever with you passing through so often and it is relaxing... somewhat.

You have also made an habit of meeting up with Gem here, with you visiting so often and her working here it was expected... And It's not the worst person to meet in the regular, different career choices aside, as much as you appreciate Scott and Cleo you don't think you could stay at your apartment with them all day long, not now. With Cleo currently away from the city that has become even more obvious.

In other news, you have started stealing the sea pickles Gem is trying so hard to transfer to the acquarium. As Scarlet you found it would be the easiest way to goad her hero persona into confronting you, it doesn't make sense (the news are having a field day trying to find what villanous plans you have that requires them) which will make her curious and It's personal to her enough that it might make her feel threatened.... Gem- or, well, Tay has been the first hero to ask you why you are a villain, she is different... And that's why you need her to be interested in you, if she's ready to listen to you then she might end up agreeing with you and if she does she might end up helping with getting rid of the corruption problem...and, well, you don't plan on telling Grian this but you can admit it is pretty fun too.

...

Sigh

...

Of course simply thinking of Grian reminds of a relatively new problem: he has started following you.

You were at the park when you noticed him.

You don't know why he's doing this, you don't know what he thinks he's doing, you aren't sure if he believes he's being sneaky or if he already knows you are aware that he's there.

You didn't call him out at first because Gem would be unsettled and or angered by the strange man following you but it's frankly getting embarassing.

It's not even the fact that he's chaos itself and that you can feel his presence clearly from behind you, even though that is important too... It's just... he's really really bad at... whatever he's trying to do.

You almost let out a disappointed "mate" escape the second time you see him. He tried to hide behind a pole. A POLE. You don't believe in Cringe culture but this...this is definitely cringe.

"Grian. Mate. What the hell are you up to?".

"Oh no Grians here, just a pole making...pole noises. Yes."

.

.

.

What???

"I can see you..?"

"You can't"

He goes invisible, you have to wonder why he didn't do that from the beginning.

"You know mate, You should have probably done that before I called you out."

"Yeah but that takes out all the fun... I mean, pole pole pole pole pole-."

"What in the world are you doing?"

"Pole noises."

"Poles are silent, they don't say the world pole again and again, they are not pokemon"

"What's a pokemon?"

"Not the point m-... Hmm...Actually I should probably show you later, the number of things you don't know about human culture is still-... You are trying to distract me aren't you? This whole pole thing was never meant to work."

"What? Me? No no no ..."

"You might be an idiot but you are also a god, you know what a pole is...I think... Hopefully...if not I really worry about the fate of the world."

He returns to being visible.

"Ok, fiiine. I just had a question."

"Ok?"

...

...

Is he not going to ask?...Is he waiting for you to ask? Why?

"What is the question Grian?"

"What did you do to Scott?"

... What???

"What did I do? What are you talking about?"

"Was I not clear enough? Let me try to be more clear"

He turns invisible, again. That was really bad but you do snort.

"Ok ok, you got a pun in, good job... now actually tell me what you are talking about. And turn back visible"

He does.

"The uh... So, Scott, realized Sheriff was his ex and then kinda forgot? Or magically changed his mind. I know you have something to do with it."

...Oh, It's that. You expected him to find out eventually, it took him a surprisingly short time though. It's fine, you can explain now.

You look around.

"It's a long story so follow me, this isn't the best place for this"

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

There was an agreement and an announcement under Elizabeth II. They can't go on as if they respect her memory if they use the HRH. No leaks, no assumptions. It's a clear statement not allowing to use HRH in all terms not just for commercial purposes. I don't think BRF will do anything now, since today that is William and Catherine 's anniversary until the USA visit in August/September. We might get some royal sources but that's all.

Suxs surely playing with the fire. I don't know when exactly if it will be under Charles or William but they will lose it, both HRH and Princess titles, her and her children. They might thinking who this change affect cause it won't be just an announcement but a new letter pattern. Besides neither of them was born with this to say it's a birth right but even if they were born Sweden and Denmark showed that you can lose that too. Nothing happens to Queen's cousins. I don't know about Eugenie, Beatrice and Harry. If he loses it they lose it too but I can see all 3 of them not using it. Nevertheless I'm pretty sure they will still use it private and demand people to address them this way, as I'm more than certain they do it with their stuff, just like Wallis. The timing of the change has to do with Charles health. He still gets therapy but if he ends it soon and be in remission like Catherine, then it happens. But if things aren't good for him and he knows it nothing will happen. Unless if he wants to take this from William but if he does it, it will a bit before ....yk. Nevertheless I don't think it will be bad for William's inage to be seen as the one protecting the monarchy from grifters.

Lastly, once again it's evident how much this woman hates and envies Catherine. It's clear she calculated the dates of her podcast to be on W&C anniversary and coronation anniversary and from all the episodes she has she chose this Tuesday as the one to do the interview. Well her podcast flops and she needed something. It's definitely not the first time she has signed as HRH but she want it to be on the news again. She did the same with Archetypes, after 2-3 episodes there wasn't any interest and she "stop" out of respect for Queen 🙄 the same Queen she had blackmailed few days before. For me the more this woman speaks the more she shows her true self and why nobody likes her.

I think you might need to double check your sources because there is no US visit planned for 2025. The US visit will be in 2026 as part of our semisesquincentennial/250th birthday.

Also there are ways to take Harry’s titles without affecting Beatrice and Eugenie. It depends on how the order is written. For instance, if the order specifies Harry by name, then the Yorkies keep theirs. If the order requires permanent residency (not domicile, but physical residency) in the UK to use the titles, then Harry and Eugenie lose it but Beatrice gets to keep it. If the order says “male children” or some variation of sex-based language like that, then Harry loses it but Beatrice and Eugenie keep theirs. So it can be done - I know you’re thinking about how Fergie lost her HRH when Diana gave hers back, but that’s not the same thing that’s happening here.

And BTW, Louise and James are also HRH Princess/Prince too. They just don’t use it but it is theirs pursuant to the 1917 LP because they were once grandchildren of the reigning monarch.

The legal precedent is set by the Titles Deprivation Act of 1917, which revoked specific British peerage and titles from specific people/families for their support of Germany during WW1.

[sadmailman-02]

Is privacy important to you?

So recently, I've seen an uptick of people interested in privacy regarding electronics (phones, pc, what have you). When I say people, I'm referring to non-techy people, like myself. I know my way around my computer and can do some basic troubleshooting for hardware/software, but beyond that, I'm sort of helpless. I don't know anything about hacking or cybersecurity and the only coding I can do is some html. I'm below a novice haha. So, if you're that sort of person, then maybe this could be of interest to you. What I am about to discuss involves no coding or really any in depth knowledge regarding technology. You don't have to be Elliot Alderson for this.

>Why does privacy even matter?

The answer to this question will vary from person to person. I, for one, do not like the idea of any corporation hoarding my data to sell or store or do fuck all with. If this does not bother you, I'd consider asking yourself if you're comfortable with, let's say, something like Google knowing everything about you. And I mean everything. Suppose that doesn't bother you, then okay. Maybe think about how it would feel if your classmates or coworkers knew what Google knows about you. Corporations also extend to governments because they're jerking each other off, so something to keep in mind. And individuals, people like you and I, work for these entities. And these people can abuse your data. For any reason.

Your data is a tool for them to control you. You might not realize it until it's too late. I'm being a little vague here because this point alone could be an entire wall of posts.

Additionally, something to consider is the level of privacy that you may require. If you are someone who attends public protests or is part of some sort of organization that criticizes your government, you are at risk of potential scrutiny or harassment. Obviously, but I mean specifically from a lack of privacy practices. Maybe from your government or somebody who opposes your views, etc. And depending on how you've been communicating about these gatherings or communities, you're potentially putting others at risk as well. If you're one of the people who's in charge of organizing or playing a large role, some of the methods I will be going over will likely not be enough to protect you. Activists and journalists need a different level of privacy that I can't begin to match.

Listed below are some videos that I watched that really helped me to understand why this is important.

“I Have Nothing to Hide” – The Dangerous Myth About Privacy

Is it impossible to be private online? (Eric's channel has been very helpful for me personally because his explanations do not alienate the tech illiterate)

>So...Where do I start?

Luckily, there are small steps you can take to prevent some information about you from being hoarded. And I say some, not all. Unfortunately, the only way to completely avoid all of this is to live out in a cabin in the middle of nowhere and never use the internet ever. Which I can assume you don't want because you're reading this on a website right now! You will have to make some compromises for some of these options, and if you can't replace all of these and only some, that's fine. Most of these can be adjusted in just a few minutes, if that.

General

Oh my god, stop using chrome. I'm serious, please stop. If you are using chrome to read this, close out of this and download firefox. or brave or chromium or whatever. I use firefox, and the second you download firefox, download ublock origin. Ads on the internet are completely out of control. Firefox is not foolproof either, other add-ons can provide not just a more private experience, but also a much smoother one. ClearURLs removes tracking elements from urls. And it's open source. There are a few others, but I don't know everything lol. There are VPNs you can use, but I only ever use one if I'm away from home and using the Wi-Fi at work or something.

Stop using google search engine. In firefox, you can set something else by default. I just use duckduckgo, but there are alternatives. You can also turn off the ai bullshit. Find one that works best for you and your needs.

Email. So this is one I have not moved yet. I still have gmail for my youtube account. I also have to use gmail for my university. I do have a protonmail, though, that I've been slowly moving over to. This could be an easy fix for some people, while impossible for others. This is something that I am willing to compromise on. Again, you can't have it all with how things are set up. I'm sure there are some ways to circumvent this, but I am not aware of it. For things like drive and docs there are also some alternatives, but I don't use drive all that much, so finding an alternative isn't that pressing for me. There's proton drive, which functions similarly, and several paid options, but I'm trying to keep this process free for people just starting to be privacy-conscious.

Signal is a good messenger especially if you're moving from something like facebook messenger, instagram, whatsapp, whatever. It's end to end encrypted and pretty modern (so stuff like emojis, reactions, voice messages) You do need a phone number though, but again, better than just whatsapp. More people are moving to it now, so you might have an easier time introducing friends to it.

Cellphone

Alright, so this is going to depend on a few factors, mainly whether you have Android or iOS. I had an iPhone for a long time, up until last year. I was never an Apple fanboy, it's just what I had, but I wasn't deep in the ecosystem by any means. I've always used a Windows computer, so I didn't have a Mac or apple watch or whatever. I had an ipad but sold it to a friend last year because I transitioned to using my Wacom full time on my PC. I only say that because if you like your apple products just keep in mind that while you are secure (apple does have great security), you may not be private. iOS is closed source, so it's more difficult for third parties or hackers to get your data, but apple has it. And apple can do whatever. Also, you are limited to the ways you can customize your phone.

I will link a video on someone who discusses privacy on iphone but aside from the few things I listed above I can't really help you much further than a few other points. Sorry.

A brief guide to privacy for iPhone

If you have an Android based phone you are in luck. Most Android phones allow you to put a different os on your cellphone since you can access the bootloader (unlike iphones) BUT your phone in most cases has to be OEM unlockable. Phones from carriers like Verizon aren't able to be unlocked because Verizon is weird and kinda treats their consumers like shit lol. I own a Google pixel 9 and I will admit I splurged on this phone by buying it brand new. It was on sale, I got a bonus at work and hey what can I say... Also my iphone 12mini was shitting itself so it was time for a new phone. The money must have been burning a damn hole in my pocket. In retrospect though, the smarter thing would have been to buy used or an older model. Which I will be doing in the future. Back on track though.

You're probably scratching your head here: if he was just complaining about google why the hell does he have a Google phone?

I'm glad you asked, hypothetical voice in my head.

Grapheneos is a os that is only available on Google pixels (I believe from 6 onward). What it does is basically degoogles your phone. So removes google services. And the thing is, you can redownload these services but refuse network permissions and limit what they can and cannot do or have access to. Or tweak settings that you would not otherwise have access to. You have control over your device and it actually somewhat feels like your device. It's easy to install...like, modding a ds takes longer than installing graphene on your phone. Here is a video that I watched that goes over specifics and installation.

Here is the grapheneos website

For non google phones there's calyxOS but I have no personal experience with it. But both of these OS give you back some ownership on your device by letting the user control how their cellphone functions and not a company. Also, it can help your phone feel a little smoother because it removes a lot of proprietary apps that companies like Samsung add to android. If your phone can't be unlocked, then start by switching to alternative apps and delete as many proprietary apps as possible. Watch this video on fdroid.

Remove face ID if you're able and remove fingerprints as well. It might be a bit inconvenient but it's much safer. I understand that these may be great accessibility tools for some so just do what you can. Turn off location when you're not using it. With graphene, you can give map applications your approximate location, not your exact location. There are also map options that can be disconnected from network, and you can save routes, but I use public transportation and really need to see when my bus is going to arrive. My cities bus app is so shit sometimes. Again, another example of compromising that is going make you ask what's important to you, and if you're willing to risk your privacy for it.

If you watch most of these videos, you'll hear a lot of these points are going to overlap.

I was considering discussing what you can do for your PC, but I'm a complete noob. I've been using Linux mint for a little bit now, and I avoid the terminal most of the time because I'm a little baby. Even still, I recommend getting away from windows if you're able. Especially if you have a windows 10 computer since Microsoft is dropping support this fall iirc. Linux mint is super beginner friendly and much lighter on your computer, so even better if your PC is older.

Some videos that might help you decide if Linux could be a good alternative for you.

Switching to Linux: A Beginner’s Guide

Why Linux is Better Than Windows 11

Linux Mint 22: Excellent Distro for Windows Users

Linux Mint for Gaming (2025) | Linux Gaming Setup (for Beginners) Pt. 1

This privacy stuff can go so deep and you'll feel kinda crazy lol. Once you learn about what people can do with this data, and read about how people's lives have been ruined by it getting into the wrong hands, it'll never leave your head. But it's important to start small. And start sooner rather than later.

Social media was something I considered discussing but I think it could be added to a later post since this is kinda long already. I hope this is somewhat helpful, I tend to ramble a lot of the time. If you're someone who is a bit more savvy than I, then please reply with any info that you think could be important. But remember that this post is for basic beginners who are just now learning about this stuff so keep it simple. Thanks for reading!

[artsyaprilmr]

i love ashxen and minas's designs so much it's so cool to see armernian representation in ocs! do you have any character tidbits or fun info to share about them?

Thank you!!! I have some fun info about them in this post - they started out as dragon age dual protagonists, but now they are very much my own original characters! Hopefully, someday I will get around to making the story I planned for them. In their original setting, Minas is an ashugh (a travelling musician), while his sister has to stay at home - the situation she doesn't like as she's craving adventure. Both of them get invited to help their uncle in the capital, they take this invitation and end up getting involved in a peculiar political plot. Their personalities are quite different which helps them work well together - Ashxen is basically the soul, while Minas is the brains of their duo :^) I made them twins to keep in line with the armenian folk tales of twin-heroes and their outfits' design is mostly based on artsakhi traditional dress.

+ have a little sketch of them I don't think I have posted here before

[vaspider]

Listen to me. Listen very carefully:

They are trying to wear you out.

They are trying to wear you out, and they own most major social media now, along with many major media outlets. The disinformation machine is cranking along. You are going to have to slow the fuck down and read things before you help them wear out other people, too.

So you just saw a post about a real scary bill, hunh? Republicans want to make it a capital offense to pet dogs and repeal The Sky Is Blue Act of 1793, declaring the new official color of the sky to be squant? Damn, that sounds scary.

Let's go look up this fictitious "Make The Sky Squant Again Act" on GovTracker* & on the official legislative tracker on congress.gov!

Well, let's see... GovTracker estimates it has a 1% chance of even getting out of committee and a 0% chance of being enacted, while congress.gov says this bill has 2 cosponsors who have been in the House and combined total of less than a month. The bill doesn't have any actual text, and it was referred to 5 different committees.

That fictitious bill and a hundred others like it are quite literally not worth your time, and more than that, continuing to wring your hands about it and tell other people about the scary scary squant sky bill only does their work for them. It scares people, it makes them spend time and energy on it, and it wears them out. It is a legislative Gish Gallop, meant to throw so many things at people that we can't keep up.

Even calling or messaging your Rep in this case means their staffer has to waste time responding to you and letting you know that Representative Buttzonheads definitely won't support making petting dogs a capital offense, a thing that will never, ever happen regardless.

Staying engaged in this environment is going to require protecting your heart and protecting your energy, yes, but also protecting the energy of others. This is why WWII propaganda posters also included ones taking people to task for spreading panicky rumors and undermining morale.

Do you know why most observant Jews don't eat chicken and dairy together, even though the ban is on red meat and dairy together bc you're not supposed to cook the calf in the milk of its mother?** It's not because we think that chicken might secretly lactate or Just Because. It's because the rabbis decided that if I'm sitting out in public and eating turkey and cheese together, someone might glance at the turkey and mistake it for red meat and think, "oh, well, I know that Spider is a good Jew, there must have been a change, or maybe I can just justify it to myself that if Spider does it, it must be permissible to bend the rules just that much." And I would then be accidentally leading my fellow Jew astray. We are responsible for being even more careful for the sake of others than we are for ourselves.

It's the same principle here. We need to really be careful about the information we are spreading and check things past reading a news site. Is it true? Is it relevant? Is it meaningful? Is the news site one I recognize? Can I find meaningful independent corroboration on another site, which is to say, if I find an article about it on a second site, is it just quoting or rephrasing this site?

Yeah, that is a lot. But that's how we keep them from using us to lead our fellows astray.

*GovTracker is an independent site. They explain their methodology in their About section.

**I cannot say enough how I am not at this time interested in going on a Jewish Side Quest About Dietary Laws on this post. Usually, I love it, but hold off this time, please, y'all. Let's stay on target this once.

[business-as-usual-bats]

Idk if anyone else remembers, but Batman canonically carries around Bat-cookies according to the Batman/Scooby-Doo crossover.

I LOVE to think Batman carries them around as snacks for Robin. I love it even more to think he uses said cookies to bribe Robin into good behavior in a similar fashion to Scooby Snacks.

Little Dick Grayson: I don't wanna go to some stupid Gala! U can't make me!

Bruce, in desperation: would u do it for a bat-cookie?

Dick: woah! Bat-shaped! Cool!

Bruce: andddd you can have another one after the party

Dick, mouth full of cookie: okay :)

Bruce, internally: thank fuck a parenting hack that works

Batman: stop! Don't kill him!

Red Hood: and why do I give a fuck what you-

Batman: would u spare his life for a Bat-cookie?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: I'm not a kid anymore-

Batman: they're fresh, look, still warm

Red Hood: ...

Red Hood: this works ONCE. This ONE time. Gimme that damn cookie.

Batman: of course

Red Hood: Fuck I've missed these what the hell does Alfred put in em

Bruce: go to sleep, Tim

Tim: I'm almost done-

Bruce: go to sleep now and you can have a bat-cookie

Tim: a what?

Bruce: a bat-cookie. See? Here, first taste is free. Try it.

Tim: bribery? Really?

Bruce: positive reinforcement

Tim: giving me treats like I'm some kind of dog?

Bruce: try it and then we'll debate the ethics

Tim [eats cookie]:

Tim:

Tim: okay

Bruce: Okay?

Tim: if I promise to sleep a full 8 hours I want two more and a glass of milk

Bruce: u drive a hard bargain but I accept

Dick: aw, c'mon, Damian. One picture. For me, to remember your first day of high school. Do it for a bat-cookie?

Damian: -tt- I've heard of these so-called "bat-cookies" Insulting. I am not a child. I refuse to participate in such an asinine tradition.

Dick: shame. Alfred made animal-friendly ones so you can share with Ace and Batcow. I guess they don't get any treats either, then

Damian: well

Damian: since it would please you so very much, I will overlook this patronizing lapse in judgment

Damian [tries one bite of cookie]:

Damian:

Damian: given Batcows higher food intake requirements, I will require at least a dozen.

Damian [takes another bite]: perhaps two dozen

Duke: you agree I did a good job today?

Bruce: yes? I suppose. Earlier, when you stopped that-

Duke: shut it. Don't care. Cookie me.

Bruce: excuse me?

Duke: I know about the cookies, old man. You've been holding out on me. The cat's out of the bag. I did a good job, I get a cookie. That's how it works, right?

Bruce: uh well

Bruce: that was a long time ago

Bruce: i had to discontinue that method after-

Duke: are you saying I'm not a valid member of this family because I was never Robin?

Bruce: of course you are! But I don't have any on me-

Duke: don't. Lie. To. Me.

Bruce: Okay! Okay. You're right, I'm sorry. Here, take it. Just... do me a favor, and don't go announcing to the whole cave you got-

Duke: YES. MY FIRST BAT-COOKIE! SCORE!

Every batmember in the vicinity: BAT-COOKIES ARE BACK????

Bruce: NO! stay back! Stay back you animals! Alfred! Alfred! It's happening again-

Alfred, sighing: I'll preheat the oven, sir

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

[deepspacedandelion]

How They Would Talk To You In Bed: Love and Deepspace LI’s

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

Warnings: Smut, little cursing, dirty talk, mentions of cum/slightly hinted creampie’s (wrap it ‘fo you tap it yall.”)

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

Caleb:

Caleb is a freak, low(high)key, so he’d be very vocal. He likes a little teasing (both giving and receiving) that is mixed with praise. Caleb loves to question you (in an EXTREMELY lewd way) and he wants you, not only to ACTUALLY answer but to question him as-well, not in a doubtful way, but in a reassuring (-ly lewd) way. He just wants to hear a self proclamation of your love and pleasure like he self-proclaims his. Nearing his climax, he’d absolutely LOVE reassurance from you that HE is YOURS—compared to the more commonly used (by male LI's) “you are mine”—, It’d make him cum so hard. HE knows you’re his, YOU know you’re his, and even though HE knows he’s yours, he wants to be told by you over and over again. He wants you to willingly claim him out of your own desire, not just because he claims you. Another thing I think he (his freaky ass) would LOVE is talking to your pussy. He relishes in the way the blush creeps up your cheeks and you get so shy, trying to hide your face from him (which he definitely wouldn't allow). He knows it drives you and her (your pussy) crazy, he can tell by how wet you're getting, how your legs shake subtly. Afterall, he knows his girls so well.

• "Hear that, baby? She's talking to me. She's begging me to fuck her so good, remind her who she belongs to."

• "Look at it, baby. Look how she's taking me so well. Look at how pretty she looks suckin' in my cock? All for you, right? No one else. They can't take it from you, I won't let them."

• "No, no. Don't hide. I want to see your pretty face when I make you cum all over my cock, yeah?"

• "I'm yours, baby, only yours. Let me show you, hm? Let me fuck my cum so deep in you and show you. You'd like that wouldn't you?"

• "So quiet now, are you, Pipsqeak? You were so mouthy earlier, now all I can hear is your pussy swallowing my fingers. How 'bout a few pretty moans for me? Let me know how good I'm making you feel."

Zayne:

Contrary to his seemingly less talkative nature, Zayne is actually quite vocal in bed (in terms of using actual words to express himself). Don’t get me wrong, he LOVES to moan and groan in your ear, your pussy always clenches so tight around him when he does, but he would LOVE to praise you (and receive a little for himself). His reputation as a medical professional requires him to be VERY specific which definitely translates well in the bedroom. His comments are always so specific, making you feel so seen. He tells you EXACTLY what he likes and EXACTLY how and why you’re doing so good. He'll throw in a few questions here and there, genuinely curious on how to make every time even better for you both. One last thing he'd include (mainly in foreplay) is some sexual observations he'd researched (he just wants to make you feel the best he can)

• “You’re taking me so well, My Love, always making me feel so good. Do you like to see me like this? Falling apart right above you?”

• "I love when you clench around me. Do it again and again. Yes~ Like that. You’re always such a good girl for me.”

• "Do you like kissing my neck that much? I like it too.”

• "Is it alright if I kiss you here? I think it could be another erogenous zone for you. Oh~ you must like it. Don’t worry, My Love, I won’t stop.”

• "Deep breaths, My Love, it could make your orgasm more powerful. Would you like to try that? I want you to enjoy yourself.”

Sylus:

Firstly, let me just start off by saying Sylus is EXTREMLY sensitive and reactive to your touch (*cough* Innocent Birdcage *cough*). I just know this man is a TRUE SWITCH but, anyway, anyway, He talks a little here and there, mostly about how good it feels, how close he is, where he wants you to touch him, how he wants you to touch him, and a little praise sprinkled in between, but, overall it’s mostly moans, groans, mewls, whimpers, and pants as he loses himself in the pleasure given to him by you. He can’t help how his head throws back or hangs low and his face scrunches up in ecstasy, eyes closed as he loses himself. He craves your touch all over his body, any and everywhere you can. Truthfully, he cums multiple times (atleast 2-3) every time you two make love. Majority of the time, he's a mewling, moaning mess, but he'll throw in a couple words every now and again. On the rare occasion though, he'd throw in a snide question (which he is genuinely asking, it's not rhetorical lol, so, definitely answer that, *cough* Nightly Rendezvous *cough*).

• "Are you teasing me? That's not very nice of you, Sweetie."

• “Have you forgotten how good I made you feel last time? It’s okay, Kitten. I don’t mind reminding you.”

• “I love being inside you this way. The two of us, becoming one, it’s my favorite thing. After all, we are true kindred spirits.”

• “What a pretty kitten you are. Does it feel good? Is that why you’re purring? My, my, kitten, you look ravishing.”

• “I want to look into your darling eyes when I cum inside you. Do you want that, sweetheart? Tell me you want that. Tell me you want me. Tell me who’s making you feel this good.”

Xavier:

Xavier is quite different from the rest of the bunch; not that he doesn’t talk or moan, but he does prefer to listen to you mostly. You just sound so pretty pinned beneath him. He absolutely LOVES to kiss, (*cough* Nightly Rendezvous *cough*), so his mouth is pretty occupied most of the time. But on occasion, he does enjoy dropping ‘comments’ (for lack of better terms), a little bit of praise, a few questions to reassure him, and lastly, the cherry on top, a few soft commands. Majority of his “bedroom sounds” is just the wet sounds of kissing, and a few pants/deep breaths to keep him grounded in the pleasure. But he is a sucker for eye contact, especially when he’s commenting on how good you feel.

• “Put your legs around my waist. I can get deeper that way.”

• “Oh! Right there~ It feels so good. I don’t think I can hold it much longer.”

• “Don’t stop, I’m almost there. I want to fill you up. I want to fuck it deeper into you. No! Don’t turn away. If you turn away, I’ll stop.”

• “Do you like when I touch you here? Or maybe you prefer… here. Is that why you bite your lip?”

• “You’re doing good, yes, please, more. Just like that and I’ll cum.”

Rafayel:

Oh boy. Rafayel is a bit of a wild card in my opinion, depending on his mood. He’s definitely a switch (from being a bratty sub ( *cough* Gem Affection *cough*) to a crybaby top (*cough* Tailwag Moment *cough*) to a soft dom, (*cough* Tipsy Evasion and Intertidal Zone *cough*), so his sounds do fluctuate, but when he’s a soft dom, they mostly range between: subtle praise, teasing, taunting questions, and snide comments. When he’s a crybaby top, he loves to moan and mewl but he also can’t help apologizing, he doesn’t mean to cum so fast, or grip you too hard, or to be too rough and incontrollable when he loses himself in how good you feel. As for being a bratty sub, oh boy, does he live to tease you. He pokes fun at your methods; how lightly you’re touching him, how you could tie him down tighter, how you could fuck him harder. He comments on your wavering confidence with a cocky smirk, but it��s all in good fun. He’d never actually say anything demeaning or something that would hurt your feelings (he’d cry if he ever did, oh no🥺, poor baby would be in shambles), but he’d poke just enough to see how much rougher you can get. He just wants to build your confidence in yourself, he knows you’re capable of putting him in his place (just the way he likes), and he wants you to know it too.

• (Bratty Sub): “C’mon, Princess, You can fuck me harder than that. I know you can.”

• (Bratty Sub): “Growing bolder, I see. I didn’t expect that from you. Oh? A punishment? Maybe that’s what I wanted in the first place.”

• (Crybaby Top): “I’m sorry, Princess. I didn’t mean to cum so soon. I can’t help it, you just make me feel too good.”

• (Crybaby Top): “I’ve been good, I’ve been so good for you I swear. Please… please let me cum inside you again. Just one more time.”

• (Soft Dom): “You’re getting wetter and wetter, like ocean waves. I like that.”

• (Soft Dom) “Yes, touch me, just like that. Gently, up and down. Ah yes~ So obedient for me. Maybe I should give you a reward. Would you like that? I knew you would, Princess.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

Kinda debating how much I like this, but yeah, they all freaks lowkey. Next up is probably more ships, but I definitely have some more (smut) ideas brewing😏 as always, feel free to send in any requests!~😌🫶🏽💙

[sp0o0kylights]

Steve Harrington showing up to Hellfire made sense.

He knew the kids. After The Incident of which they Do Not Speak Of, he knew Eddie. There was a friendship there that was pulling him into Hellfire’s orbit, and the elder members followed their leader's cues when it came to jocks who had decided to redeem themselves and evolve into beloved town hall heroes. 

Showing up to Corroded Coffin’s recently restarted band practice required a bit more adjusting, but it was fine. 

Everything was fine.

Steve showing up in the middle of a heated, completely nonsensical argument with Eddie, was also, unfortunately, growing to be something normal and fine--but arguing over Jeff specifically?

That was a little harder to ignore. 

“That’s my Robin.”  Eddie had started, pointing sternly towards Jeff as he marched up Gareth’s driveway. 

Steve rolled his eyes. 

“You already claimed Gareth as your Robin, you can't also claim Jeff.”

Yes I can! Because I have two--no, no, three!” Eddie counted on waiving fingers, “I have three Robin's, Grant’s one too!

Jeff blinked, before turning to his other bandmates. “Any idea about what this is about or…”

Nope.” Gareth refused to even look at the duo arguing. “And I don't want to know.”

“Okay then.” 

“They each have different specialties,” Eddie was animatedly arguing, having stopped in the center of the garage to square up to Steve. “So combined they make up one Robin.” 

“That's not how that works!” Steve loudly scoffed, arms winging out in a way that disturbingly, looked like a move he had copied from Eddie. 

He got a smirk in return. “Don't  be mad because I'm more popular than you are these days, Steven.” 

Oh now they were approaching dangerous territory-- Eddie was getting smug.

A smug Eddie, Jeff knew, was an obnoxious Eddie. The kind of obnoxious that refused to let things go and claimed victory over random bullshit. The type of obnoxious that would take weeks to kill, with them all suffering through Eddie’s crowing in the meantime.

Given the look on Steve’s face, he knew it too.

There was only one way to prevent the monster known as Smug Eddie, and that was to cut him at the knees before he properly got started. 

Something no member of Hellfire had ever before managed to accomplish--on purpose.

Steve, Jeff thought, was not a member of Hellfire. 

With a sudden and distrustworthy narrowing of his eyes, the ex-jock asked. “Didn't you say Jeff bakes?”

“No--” Eddie spat instantly but it was too late, Steve was already turning and--oh God, trying to pull Jeff into this shit. 

“Yes--hey Jeff, man, do you bake?”

“Uh…”

Grant looked between Steve, Eddie and Jeff, before taking one giant step to the right of them all.

The traitor. 

“Don't answer that!” Eddie commanded, stalking around to put himself between Jeff and Steve. “Do not answer that!” 

“I--yeah?” Jeff answered anyway, confused to hell but choosing to trust Steve on this one.   

Unfortunately for Corroded Coffin as a whole, and Jeff specifically, what they were missing was the fact that Steve could be a downright petty bitch. 

“What’s the hardest thing you can reliably bake?” 

It took a moment for Jeff to realize Steve was still talking to him, given his eyes were locked onto Eddie’s. 

“I like doing those kind complicated swirls with frosting sometimes?” Realizing how that sounded he quickly added; “To make cool patterns and shit!”

Steve nodded once, before boldly declaring: “I'm taking Jeff.” 

Eddie sputtered. 

“No you are not--” 

“That way,” Steve said, steamrolling right over, “you have two and I have two.”  

“Were not sharing cookies here, Steve!” 

“I know,” Steve retorted and oh God, now he sounded smug, “because Jeff and I haven't baked them yet.

“No--no! Jeff, Jeffery look at me.” The older teen whirled around to face Jeff, face serious. “You are forbidden to bake with this heathen.” 

“Wow, controlling much?” Steve drawled, moving fluidly around to stand shoulder to shoulder with Eddie, facing Jeff. With a weighty sincerity, he said, “I would never tell you what to do.”

“Yes he would! Yes He absolutely would! 

“What the fuck.” Jeff muttered, as they both continued to stare at him while maintaining their argument with each other. 

“You made eye contact, this is on you.” Grant told him. 

20 minutes later and Jeff would finally announce he was not going to do anything with anyone until after band practice. 

20 hours later, Steve would invite himself into Jeff’s house with a bag full of baking ingredients and a look in his eye that terrified Jeff more than Jason ever had. 

2 days later, Eddie would loudly declare Jeff’s status as a traitor, only to renounce it five seconds later after Gareth shoved one of the cookies they baked in his mouth mid rant. Only then would he agree that Steve could have Jeff as “his second Robin.” 

Unfortunately, he did this in front of the real Robin, who, as it turns out, can give one hell of a rant. 

(Later, Jeff, Grant and Gareth would loudly declare Robin their Queen and expert in all things Steve and Eddie, going so far as to present her with a Burger King crown to seal the deal. 

She would proudly wear it, despite all the bitching it caused from Steve and Eddie.) 

[perpetuallyfive]

God, I'm so happy with what they did with Maddie Nolen.

I'm sure there will be plenty of people mad because obviously there was a weird backlash over a character who has sex with one half a ship, so I'm sure some people worry this will lead those people to feel justified in their initial response.

But ignoring people who can't emotionally regulate for a second, because those childish impulses aren't worth dictating the fun things a narrative can do: Maddie is SO INTERESTING as a character and she fills in a lot of the questions people seemed to have about the rest of the season.

Consider for a moment that it wasn't Caitlyn who convinced Vi to be an Enforcer. It was Maddie.

I know that some people took this line to be about Zaunites, a sort of obvious connection to the very racist idea of "one of the good ones," but since Maddie is talking about Marcus and his betrayal of the Enforcers just before this, I'm pretty sure her framing here is something else. The point she's making is specifically targeted at Vi's own beliefs and weaknesses, her desire to protect. That seems clear to me now with all we know about Maddie's capacity for manipulation.

She's not saying, "You're good, for a poor."

She's saying, "Wow, I agree with you, the Enforcers are really bad; it's so upsetting. I think you might be the only one who can change it, but only if you join us." This is what convinces Vi to do something she never thought she would.

Well, this and the fact that Caitlyn believes in her so much which, again, is information she gets fed to her directly from Maddie. It even seems like Maddie seeks her out just to say this, which on first viewing felt oddly convenient. Wow, Vi just happens to meet this naive girl who just happens to say exactly what she needs to hear to do something so out of character.

Except obviously none of it was coincidence. Everyone already knew how much Vi meant to Caitlyn and getting Caitlyn under control would require either controlling Vi or removing her from the equation. This was a push in that direction.

Then there's her more obvious role as the spy in Caitlyn's bed, there to reassure her that the Noxians are only trying to keep all of them safe. Then when Caitlyn expresses larger doubts, she's immediately ready to lay out an alternative. You could just give up, Maddie seems to whisper gently in her ear. Just reestablish things as they were before.

But she knows Caitlyn isn't going to go for that. She's not going to go back to the council as it was, because it's only going to remind her of the empty place her mother left behind. Maddie knows that Caitlyn isn't going to take this offer, which is precisely why she suggests it. She frames quitting as the only clear alternative to going along with everything Ambessa wants because she knows that Caitlyn will refuse, which leads her right back into alignment with Ambessa. She makes continued obedience into an active choice that Caitlyn affirms she's making.

Even Maddie's comments that suggest direct opposition to Ambessa — "you're our leader... I follow you" — are designed to frame herself and her true leader in direct opposition, just as Ambessa's own warning about entanglements is there to further that point. They both make a point of reminding Caitlyn that they are her true ally, isolating her further from anyone who isn't the devil and (other) devil on her shoulders.

This way Maddie and Ambessa can both tug at Caitlyn, pulling in what feels to her like opposite directions, all so that she lands precisely where they wanted her all along but with the illusion of active agency.

And look, I'm not saying my read on her is gospel, because I think they intentionally gave us enough room to really speculate and wonder about her, someone who could have been just a background nothing character but ends up being such a huge part of the second season. That's so interesting!

I especially love that she comes across as really naive and innocent, just some poor little thing swept up in the fervor, when in reality she's a true believer who has been manipulating things to go her way from the start.

[guppybibi]

Simon is a stealthy man, obviously—it's required for his job. Though the fact isn't quite true when it comes to proposals. You could clearly tell what he had in store for you the moment he coincidentally didn't have any work to do when the weather was just right and when he suggested that it was the perfect time of year to propose relax and go on vacation to anywhere you'd like.

Of course, you play along obliviously and decide to go to a tropical place that you've been eyeing for a while now. Simon wasn't complaining about your choice either, a chance to watch the sunset together and see you in a cute swimsuit? Sign him up!

So he books you two a tropical getaway, and insists that you should use his card to go shopping for a nice little dress, yeah? What's your ring size too, love? For future reference..nothing else.

~

The trip so far has been nothing but perfect, the plane surprisingly had enough leg space so Simon was comfortable the whole time. No turbulence either, it was like God was on Simon's side this time.

When you two arrive at your destination, the fresh breeze gladly greets you and the sun's heat is making beads of sweat form on your forehead already. It seemed like the heat had the same effect on Simon as well, although he was sweating more profusely than you for some reason..He'd never tell but he was insanely nervous right now, it felt like his guts were being turned inside out over and over again.

Everything does go smoothly, you two arrive at the hotel he reserved, quickly changing into your swimsuits since you couldn't wait to go out there and take a stroll around the beach. Maybe collect some seashells as a souvenir, build sandcastles or get a tan, do whatever you want, princess. Simon's going to be right beside you the whole time, glaring sharp daggers at anyone who even dares to look at you in the wrong way. Was it too much and completely unnecessary? Maybe, but you could never be too safe in these times. Creeps were always everywhere, casually walking around in broad daylight, hidden in plain sight.

Every single thing you wanted to do or get, was done and bought. You had to say, you were pretty surprised when Simon wasn't making any sarcastic comments about how he wasn't a money dispenser. Not even batting an eye when you got something from a clear tourist scam, weird. But hey, you're really in no place to complain here. Plus, money comes back, but the memories you and Simon will make here won't.

~

Hand in hand, step by step, you and Simon walk by the shore, your eyes full of adoration as you tried tracing the glow of the sun's light on Simon's face. You couldn't tell what was more breathtaking, the landscape or the man in front of you? The sun was bound to set soon, though it never really rests, you couldn't even imagine being the sun, working nonstop with no breaks is a big no no.

Quite ironic since in Simon's eyes, you were technically his sun. You were the center of his world, everything was peaceful when he was around you. Unlike when he's in the military, it always feels like he's out of orbit.

He has to do it, his heart can't contain it anymore. He has to propose, he's going to propose. Right here, right now. It was the perfect moment, the sunset peering, maybe a few folks watching but Simon couldn't give a damn about them. This was about you.

"Love," he calls out, stuffing his hand into his pocket to get the ring box. You snap back to reality, tilting your head in acknowledgement. You were taken aback by the sight of him kneeling on one knee, holding out a box with a shiny ring inside that you were barely able to hear the words, "Will you marry me?".

Without hesitation, you scream out "Yes!" at the top of your lungs, leaving Simon chuckling, still not getting up. "Wait up, luv. I prepared a message for you, mind if I tell you it first?" You were still jumping around the place, looking like you were about to bounce off to outer space. Once you manage to collect your excitement, you nodded, preparing yourself to hear Simon's message to you.

It was all about how you were the light of his life, all of that. It was short and sweet, not unnecessarily long but truly from the heart.

It's safe to say that the both of you went home from that trip with a big grin on your faces.

[cosmic-dust-poltergeist]

Pt 2 to the dpxdc AU where Danny is a Forever Teen.

[Pt 1 here][pt3 here]

The Justice League and Justice League Dark were confused when the Bat Clan called for an all hands on deck meeting. Usually only one section of the JL was needed, but no one questions it because, HELLO, IT'S THE BATS. If they think everyone is needed, then everyone is needed. Especially when even Nightwing, the sunshine friendly Bat, looks serious.

"Thank you for all coming on such short notice, but something has been brought to my attention, and I believe it's imperative that we get a handle on it before more people get hurt." Batman glances towards Red Robin and suddenly a PowerPoint is pulled up on the projector. "Anti-Ecto Acts" is in bold at the top and frankly scary bullet points are underneath it. Nightwing politely asks Flash to help him past out papers, which he does. "The Anti-Ecto Control Acts are a law that makes it legal for the government to experiment on and terminate anyone or thing that produces or requires a substance called Ectoplasum to survive."

A commotion breaks out with all the magic users in the room. There's choking, terrified shouting, and an irate John Constantine blowing a fuse.

"It also allows anyone who is caught harboring one of these beings to be arrested for treason." Batman mercilessly continues once they quiet down enough for him to be heard by most people. "It was passed into law in XXXX with the help of Dr.s Fenton, a Mr. Masters, and a now disbanded government agency called the GIW or Ghost Investigation Ward."

There was gasps at the agency's name. It's no secret they killed "The First Hero" who was just a kid helping his town survive from attacks of "ghosts" and human alike. The Child Hero was mourned by many, most of whom didn't personally know him.

"I shall begin with what ectoplasm is exactly for those who do not know." And he does. He explains everything Danny informed him of about ectoplasm, as well as explaining its connection to Lazarus Pit Water. He points out which heroes in the room would qualify as an "ecto entity" under these acts. Red Robin jumps in to explain how the entities from the Infinite Realms (que the magic users having another fit) work and how to safely deal with most of them if you do come across them, while emphasizing how unlikely it is to come across one (JL Dark demands they be called if an infinite realm being is found, not trusting the rest of the JL to not get them all killed). The JL/JL Dark are so confused by the Bats having pictures of different levels of Ecto Entities (Danny had some on his phone. He found it again by chance and didn't want to lose his pictures of his family.)

The second half of the presentation is much darker. It dives into the legalized crimes of the GIW and the government agency that became their successor. The Bat Clan spent a month breaking into different government buildings to get all the classified documents they needed to prove the unethical experimentation on ecto entities and contaminated beings was still happening 30 years after the bill passed. They spare no details.

"We would like to introduce you to one of the victims of these acts." Red Robin pipes up once the presentation is over, but before everyone can start talking or try to leave.

"Please tell me you didn't bring an ecto entity on this death trap!" Constantine protests, and Red Robin can't help but smirk.

"Okay, I won't say it out loud then." Red Robin snarks before waving to an "empty" spot near him. "I'll just introduce you to Danny."

A thin child bleeds into view, and the heroes gasp, realizing this particular child. "Hi.."

"Phantom?"

"That's Phantom, right?"

"Oh my stars! That's Phantom!"

Danny flinches when he hears his old hero name. He instinctively turns invisible again.

"QUIET." Batman demands, silencing the heroes. "To answer your questions. Yes, Danny WAS Phantom. Due to the amount of trauma he suffered while baring the name, he would like to be called Danny until he finds a new name for himself. Understand?"

There's muttered apologizes and murmurs of agreement. Danny bleeds back into view, standing an arm's length away from Batman now.

"Good." Batman is still glaring at the heros while softly saying, "Share when you're ready."

Danny's lips press into a thin line before he pulls off this shirt, exposing all of the scars on his upper body. He explains how he got his "powers", showing off the lichtenberg scar. He explains his parents, the portal, and their legacy of death and horror. He explains all his surgical scars. He explains watching less stable people and creatures End going through as little as a third of what he endured before escaping. He explains how he doesn't age anymore, that most things won't kill him now, and how tired he is of never being safe enough to even nap. He's tired of being scared.

All in all, it's very effective. The JL and JL Dark are up in arms and dismantling anything that has anything to do with the Anti-Ecto Control Acts and it awful ideals. Danny feels free and mostly safe for the first time in decades.

[viennacherries]

okay hi sorry i need to talk about the lucanis romance for a moment and why i think it's absolutely perfect. spoilers below the cut ofc

so obviously there are a limited number of romance scenes. i really do believe in the case of lucanis' romance this lends itself to telling his story.

we learn through party banter with him and emmerich that his relationship with rook is his first. and that's not suprising really, he's an assassin. he faces death constantly and aside from the fact that he could die at any moment, being in a relationship gives his enemies a weak spot to exploit. love and the weakness required to accept and give it is a risk he cannot afford in his line of work.

then you add on the fact that he's been in the ossuary for a year. he was definitely sure he was never getting out of there. and then he does but he's possessed.

so here's rook. and they're flirting with him and being all enticing and he thinks they're great. but he doesn't deserve love and he certainly can't risk it. he's an abomination, he'll put them in danger. and what happens afterwards? when he goes back to taking contracts? it only takes pissing off the wrong person once for rook to be in danger. so he mostly just talks around it. tried not to think about it or aknowledge it.

and then spite breaks through for the second time. and there's rook. again. and they're soft and understanding and kind and they remind him that under everything else, all of the trauma and the fear, he's human. they make him feel so safe and he starts to let his walls down.

we can't know for sure why he pulls away in that moment, but i think it's because he reminds himself how dangerous it is for him and for rook. he wants them terribly but it's such an awful no good idea so he drags himself away.

but he still cares for them. he makes them dessert and he keeps them safe and eventually he has to admit to himself that they're not just friends anymore.

and then rook is taken into the fade by solas.

he never tells rook, you only find this out in a bellara romance, but rook is in the fade for weeks.

all that time, lucanis is there and he's just full of regret. because holy shit he's fallen in love with them and now they're gone and he should've just told them. he should've held them like he wanted. because now he can't and he never will again.

and then they're back.

and he comes into their room and his words are so simple.

"i never thought id see you again. i thought id lost you"

and obviously the rest of his dialogue can vary in this scene but all of it is SO weighted if you consider the fact that he really did think they were dead.

"i do. i know how to feel."

"it's one of the things i love about you"

"i'm not going anywhere."

he is in LOVE with them and he's tired of fighting it. he's tired of pretending he isn't. he's tired of denying himself of what he wants because he's scared. because ultimately he did lose them, despite how careful he'd been, and it hurt just the same.

"i know how to feel." because he DOES now.

so in the last battle, before you fight elgernan, he tells you again just how much he loves you. how he'll do anything he needs to to be back in your arms when it's over. because those weeks without you were torture and he never wants to do that again. he wasted all that time terrified to hurt you but you got hurt anyway. why keep pretending? why keep denying himself the person he wants more than anything in the world? he goes from 0-100 because this is so much more real now. there's so much to lose.

"i've assumed you knew my heart because it beats for you. it's been beating... when i wanted you. when i was afraid to want you... tell me this ends with me asleep in your arms and i will kill any god you ask."

this one sentence conveys EVERYTHING. all of his longing throughout the game. how long he has loved rook. he didn't say it because he was afraid. but he's not afraid anymore.

so much of lucanis' romance is about subtext. it's about the things he doesn't say rather than the things he does.

i think it's absolutely beautiful.

[mickyschumacher]

[BABY FEVER! PT.1]

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: after seeing you with play with some young fans you and charles meet on the streets of monaco, charles can't get his mind off having his own. or in which, charles has got a case of the baby fever. 𝐏𝐓. 𝟐 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄!

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: established relationship, fluff, 18+ (minors DNI), unprotected sex (wrap it if u don't want babies), breeding kink (obvi), charles meeting the bare minimum requirement to be a good human (lmao), slight lactation kink, mutual orgasms, handjob, pussy rubbing(?), reader is sensitive as shit, google translated french (my bad to the french speakers), a questionable perversion of having children that always comes with this context, also questionable whether this qualifies as baby fever but yeh

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: charles leclerc x fem!reader

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 3k+

𝐀/𝐍: wrote this one when i first started if you can't tell by the mention of pedro and tlou! my absence explained in another post! ♡︎

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

Charles loved his fans, especially Tifosi. After you, his family and friends, they were the most important people in his lives and constantly motivated him. Most of them were kind and sweet to him and loved and cherished you more than they loved him.

That's why whenever fans asked for photos with you, the both of you or autographs, Charles always accepted. He rarely refused them unless the fans gave off a certain vibe that rubbed him the wrong way; crazed fans or fans who liked you a little bit too much for his liking.

His favourite fans normally, however, were children. It was definitely pressurising to have that many children look up to him but Charles found it rewarding. They were so young and full of dreams that he could help fulfil. They always looked at him wide-eyed with their jaws open as if they had just seen an angel walk by, similarly to how Charles reacted when he had first seen you in the streets of Monaco.

Today was no exception. It was currently the mid-season break and you two were roaming the partially empty streets after having breakfast out, relishing in the privacy of Monaco. Halfway through your walk, you and Charles had bumped into some small fans, literally.

A set of 3-year old twin sisters and a boy who only seemed a year or two older had run to Charles and you yelling 'Charles!' and 'It's Ferrari!'.

Charles instantly was smiling at them, crouching down to talk to them and entertain all their bombarding questions that flew one after the other.

"Is the car really that fast?"

"Can I go in the car?!"

"I hope you win!"

You chuckled softly as Charles answered them with ease. You looked at the parents who also seemed to be equally as excited as their children. "Do you want me to take a photo for you guys?" You inquired softly.

The parents looked at you with wide eyes. "Can you? If it's no bother!" The father fretted, sharing a slightly alarmed expression with his wife.

You shook your head and smiled. "It's not a problem." They held out their phone and you took it into your hands, opening the camera. You hummed as you looked at the group. "Let's do three photos. One with the three angels, one with the parents and one family one?" You asked.

The parents were about to nod when the kids suddenly refused. "Four! We want one with a pretty girl!" One of the sisters yelled out, pointing at you.

Your mouth fell open while your body flushed with slight embarrassment. Charles grinned at you, agreeing with the children profusely. You gave a playful sigh and nodded. The children and parents began to poise for the camera several times and left the last one for you to take a selfie with them.

The parents turned to Charles, inviting him into a conversation as they apologised for the kids running to him all of a sudden.

You could hear Charles say it was fine when you felt a tug at the bottom your dress. You crouched down to the children who now crowded you.

The boy looked at you wide-eyed while the two girls poked your arm and asked "Are you a princess?"

You smiled softly. "I am!" You implored, "How did you know?" You asked in a hushed tone.

The children giggled. "Princesses are always pretty, that's why!" The boy said with red cheeks.

You hummed, pondering over the statement. You brought your hand out to pat the girls' heads and pinch the little boy's chubby cheeks. "That must mean all of you are also princesses and princes, hmm?"

The children cheered in agreement, giggling to themselves before discussing who was the best prince or princesses out of them all.

"I'm the best prince!" One sister said, putting her hands on her hips in determination. Her older brother looked at her almost offended. "How can that be? I'm the best. I'm older."

The other sister looked at her siblings dumbfounded. "Why can't we all be the best?" She sighed.

You grinned at her answer. "You're right! You are all the best. Equally. You know why?" You asked.

Three pair of big eyes looked at you with curiosity swirling within them as they shook their small heads 'no'.

You brought their hands together and held them in your palm. "Because you're siblings. You're family. That's the best."

The kids stared at you blankly, probably trying digest your words as much as they could at that age. The previous sister smiled widely, letting out a deafening yell, running to her mother. "Did you hear that, maman? We're all the best!" She screamed with joy.

You stood from the ground slowly, grinning at all the kids. "I did. We all heard that, ma cherié. It's true!" The mother chorused, giving you a thankful smile.

You smiled in response, shaking your head as if it was nothing. The parents and kids began to say goodbye to you and Charles, although the latter did so rather reluctantly as you walked over to your boyfriend.

You raised a brow at the dazed expression on Charles' face. "Cha? Mon amour, what's going on in that head of yours?" You hooked your arm with his, resting your head on his shoulder.

Charles blinked. "Hmm? Oh, nothing. Just thinking about those kids. Cute, right?" He breathed out, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

You smiled. "Very," You agreed as the two of you began to walk to Charles' car.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Arriving home, the two of you decided to lounge in your living room, not bothered to do anything else for the day. You had managed to put on the newest episode of 'The Last of Us', eager to find out what was happening next.

You and Charles laid on the couch; your head resting on his chest while he cuddled you from behind. You were intently watching Pedro Pascal after being besieged with edit after edit of him on TikTok. Charles on the other hand wasn't focusing at all.

All he could think about what those kids you and him had met earlier that morning. Specifically, you conversing with them. You hadn't realised since you were so caught up with them, but at one point him and the parents had stopped talking and tuned into your conversation with the kids.

Charles had talked to you about kids before. You both wanted them and although Charles always talked about having three kids specifically, just like him and his brothers, he would leave it up to whatever you wanted because at the end of the day, it was you giving birth, not him. He would prefer to have children when he was slightly a bit more older, you both had more control over his life, and obviously with at least one championship under his belt.

But after today, Charles was prepared to throw that plan away. As lewd as it was, the idea of you getting you pregnant and having a family not only touched his heart, but immorally touched his cock.

Knowing that he would have to ensure that his cum was entirely within you, stuffed into your cervix, and not letting a single drop come out made him feel feral. To make matters worse, you would look like a goddess when pregnant because hell, you were so beautiful now. Round and full with his child because he made sure to fuck you till you were overflowing with his cum. Or when your breasts became heavy and sensitive to his touch, leaking sporadically, giving him the opportunity to clean you up with his mouth.

God, he was an animal. The worst.

"Charles, what are you doing?" Your voice erupted into the air, breaking him out of his deep train of thought.

Charles blinked at your question in confusion before he looked down, seeing his hand traversing under your dress and up your inner thigh. He looked over to your amused eyes peering at him.

"Sorry," He let out with a sigh, rubbing the warm flesh of your thigh softly. "I just... I can't stop thinking about children."

You raised a brow, not seeing the correlation to Charles' wondering hand. "Children?" You iterated, running a hand through his hair.

Charles shut his eyes at your actions, feeling at ease. "Those kids today... make me want our own children. Now. I want to have children now."

Charles peeked his eyes open, looking at your astounded expression with a bit of fear. "What about our plans? What was it? Thirty-three, a championship, lives under control, and then children?" You queried. "I-I'm not mad or anything, Cha. Just curious. Why the change of heart all of sudden?

You had now turned to face Charles, knees on either side of him, straddling his lap as you became fully attentive to him.

Charles played with the tresses of your hair that had fallen past your face before tucking them gently behind your ear. "You would just make such a good mother, mon ange. You're so sweet and kind. You now how to talk to them. God, pregnancy would look so good on you. I can't stop thinking about you pregnant," Charles let out a small moan a thought. "You all round with our child, hormonal, sensitive at my touch."

Charles' fingers brushed over your neck, making you shudder involuntarily. You melted at his words. Charles thought a great deal of you. You weren't opposed to the idea either, in fact all of his words were making you hornier by the minute.

"You know what?" You queried, "I also want to have children. You would make an amazing father, Cha. I know you would," You softly said, pressing a brief kiss to his lips.

Charles pulled away, boring his gaze into you. "Yeah?" He whispered, eyes soft and full of lust and love.

"Yeah," You repeated. "A father of all three," You teased, giving him a small knowing smile.

Charles' eyes darkened slightly at your words. His hands rested on your hips, his half-hard on in his pants turned harder, pressing into your clothed pussy. "Mon amour," He whispered into your ear, making the hairs on your body stand straight. "Should I fuck a baby into you?" He pulled his face back, waiting for your answer.

You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip, relishing in his words. "If you're going to fuck a baby in me, Charles, you better do it right the first time."

Charles groaned, grinning at your words. Staring at you with a fiery gaze, he quickly brought you down into a hungry kiss. His grip on your hips tightened while your hands became entangled in his hair. Another groan fell against your lips when you tugged at his locks.

Your heart slammed against your chest, beating loudly in your ears. Your skin was heated with Charles' touch ravaging all over you; grazing your arms, squeezing your ass only for you to press further into him. Your stomach surged with desire, feeling his clothed cock grind into you. "Fuck," Your swollen lips uttered out, high with an intoxicating buzz circulating your veins.

"Charles, I need–" You began only to be cut off by your own whimper as Charles bucked his hips up into you, setting a pace of stimulation with the tent of his pants and the gritty material of his shorts.

Charles smiled at the sight of your head thrown back and your back arching. "What do you need, ma cherié? Hmm? Tell me and I'll give it to you, my love," He sighed out, feeling his cock ache in its restraints.

"Fuck, j'ai besoin de ta bite, Charles," You murmured, feeling the temperature of your body rise with every passing second. Fuck, I need your cock, Charles.

Charles grinned at your use of French so early on. Normally when you were nearing your climax, you would lose yourself to all the French you knew. "As you wish, princesse," He stated. "Let's get this off, hmm?" He began to slid down the straps of your dress, pressing warm kisses on your shoulder. The sight of your bare breasts made him sigh in content, licking a strip from the base of your neck and down the valley of your breasts.

You felt a shiver crawl up your spine, feeling Charles' hands wander down your back while he pushed the fabric past your ass, hooking his fingers under your the waistband of your panties. You lifted your body up, aiding him in getting rid of your dress and underwear.

You settled back down on Charles' lap, pushing your wet core against his clothed cock. Charles nipped at your neck, dazed at the feeling of your pussy on him. Your hands reached out, rushing to get those shorts and shirt off of him. Pulling his shirt of him, you placed a trail of kisses down his chest. You could feel his lower stomach tense as you neared his waistband. With a grin, impatiently, you took off his shorts and the boxers underneath.

Your stomach churned and pussy throbbed at Charles' red, aching cock springing up, begging to be touched. You flickered your sultry gaze to your boyfriend, reaching over to put your fingers in his mouth.

Charles maintained eye-contact, lubing your fingers generously with his spit before he felt a shudder rip through him when you teasingly pushed your pussy to graze the angry tip of his cock.

"Vous taquinez," Charles uttered out almost with a whine after you removed your fingers. You tease.

"Don't be too sad, mon amour," You breathed out, trailing your wet fingers over his v-line before wrapping them around his cock. Charles sucked in a sharp breath as your hand began move up and down his shaft, mixing his spit and his pre-cum together, giving him a new, unique shine of his own.

"You wanted to see me pregnant, right? Full of your cum. So pregnant that everyone will know in a few months that you fucked me that good," You started, eyes trained on him while you pumped his cock with a tantalising grip. "We need a lot of your cum today. I'm just getting you prepared," You purred.

Charles let out a series of high moans, letting your words wash all over him and mix with his euphoria. His fingers reached out to your wet folds, stroking your heated slip with need. You trembled at his touch, bucking your hip against his fingers, increasing the pace of your hand on his cock.

Both of you moaned loudly while you jerked each other off, breathy sounds bouncing off the walls of your apartment. "Merde," Charles swore, pressing his head further into the couch, hips sensitively bucking into your hand as you brushed the slit of his cock.

He pushed himself, refusing to slack at your pleasure. He rubbed your pussy, groaning at the wet, glistening folds that were coating his fingers. You moaned, feeling a familiar buzzing pool in your stomach. "I need to," Charles panted out, covering your hand with his to stop you, "I need to..." He trailed off once again, pulling you closer to him.

Charles could barely think straight. He didn't know what he was saying or what he was doing. All he knew was that he needed to feel your pussy against his cock.

A guttural whimper escaped your mouth when Charles rubbed his cock against your folds. God, the both of you could get off just like this. He sighed out, eyes clouded with pleasure while he bathed in the warmth of your pussy. He could feel you jerk time to time against him, sensitive from nearing your climax.

You were was a sight to behold. You couldn't control your hips or yourself. You were just so receptive, automatically rubbing your pussy and clit up and down the head of cock. Your head falling back, supported by air while your back arched with lust. Sweat clung to your warmed body and your dry hair was now coated in a light sheen of grease. Face contorted with pleasure and flushed with heat.

"I'm gonna cum, fuck," Charles hissed out, partially angry that he already was about to climax but how could he not at such a view and feeling?

You blinked through your pleasure, remembering how you had gotten into this situation in the first place. You pushed your hips to him, hovering over his cock and sliding down onto him. You whimpered, feeling full with his throbbing cock in you.

Charles groaned, feeling your warm walls clench around him as you began to move your hips up and down. He watched your breasts bounce, making him flicker to that thought of them being full with milk once he got you pregnant. He would be selfish and have a taste of them himself.

Your pussy was a siphon, drawing and pulling his cock even further into you. Charles placed his hands on your hips, pushing you down on his cock to ensure he was balls-deep within you, fully sheathed. The breathy air was now replaced with both of your lewd moans and the sound of your skin slapping and sticking against one another.

"Merde, merde," Charles began to chant, increasing the pace of his hips snapping and rutting into your folds. Your hands fell to his own hands, tightening around them as pleasure bubbled at the pits of your stomach.

"Fuck, Charles. Cum in me, mon amour. Fais de moi une mère. Hmm? Imagine it. I'll be even more sensitive, my tits will be heavy and sore with milk and I'll ask you to massage them... everyone will know what we did," You moaned loudly. Make me a mother.

Charles's hips came to a halt, shaking with pleasure while he poured ropes and ropes of his hot cum deep into your walls. He let out staggered moans, feeling you clench around him and take even more of his load. Charles pressed his swollen lips onto your, kissing you dizzy while he thrusted out his high, ensuring his cum was staying within you.

Charles sighed out, pressing his forehead against yours. Realising you were once again on the brink of cumming, with his cock still in you, he brought his fingers to your engorged clit, rubbing the sensitive nub gently yet harshly.

He felt your walls grip him even tighter if possible as you began to convulse in his arms. "Jesus fucking Christ," You sobbed out, waves of your euphoric climax hitting you.

Christ, you were so sensitive, hips jerking up against his fingers, grinding to maximise your stimulation. He couldn't even stop you if he wanted to.

"Merde, ma cherié, cum for me. Yes, just like that," Charles coaxed, groaning as you somehow managed to get more cum out of him.

You let out a final whimper before collapsing onto him, feeling Charles' softening cock drive and push the cum deeper into you. You let out a low moan against his chest.

Charles pushed your chin up with his finger, looking into your eyes. He smiled, pressing a slow, soft kiss to your lips. "You did so well, mon amour," He praised, running a hand through your sweaty hair, getting a better glance of your face.

You gave him a weak smile, peering up at him through your eyelashes. "You think we did a good job?" You queried, voice quiet and tired. "You think we'll have a child soon?"

Charles grinned at you, planting another kiss on the side of your head. "If I didn't, I'll fuck you again and make sure that test has two lines."

𝐏𝐓. 𝟐 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄!

© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑

[keitorin3]

Short: It's Merlin

Random Knight: *Witnessed Merlin calling Arthur a prat* Sire, are you just going to just let him talk to you that way? 😤

Arthur: It's Merlin, what can you do. 🤷🏼

Noble: *Upset with Merlin's presence during court and used his now absences to complain* As King you should have more sense then to let some farm boy advise you in such delicate matters of court! 😤

Arthur: It's Merlin. He who takes care of the castle servants, who is the apprentice physician that sees to the people downtown off duty and who is well acquainted with the merchants by name. That Merlin. 🤨

Noble: ...

Arthur: Any other questions? Good, let's see about lunch. Someone call Merlin back from town, he knows how I like my sandwiches made. 🍞🥪

Princess: *Trying to be seductive and pretty* I hear your looking for a Queen? 😉

Arthur: *Not interested and wishing to strangle a court elder* Apparently... 😒

Princess: I could be your Queen~ *Tries to touch his arms sensually*😘👑

Arthur: *Disgusted and Panics* 😬 Sadly you don't meet my requirements.

Princess: Well, what are your requirements? I'm sure I can more then meet them~😘

Arthur: Black hair, large ears, calls me a prat and male.

Princess: *Flabbergasted*

Arthur: *runs*

Knight on the side: It's Merlin. Just so you know.

Gwaine: So is anyone gonna tell him or should I?

Leon: It's been over a Decade and sadly the King has yet to admit it.

Percival: It's just Merlin. The guy doesn't even hides how devoted he is to Arthur.

Leon: Unfortunate really. Arthur was never able to place a label on what he felt for Merlin. Anything that boy does is instantly just categorised as "Merlin".

Gwaine: He gets his own category? Where do we go under.

Leon: "Merlin's Knights" apparently. He said as much while drunk and wistfully talked about retiring into the countryside and buy a farm where he and Merlin can own a cow and some chickens. He especially wanted the chickens.

Gwaine: *Laughs*

Percival: Damn, he's got it bad. And I can't even deny it. We basically did come together thanks to Merlin. But why chickens?

Leon: Said it was a engagement present for Merlin.

Percival: ...

Gwaine: ... Called it.

Knight: *Sees magic near Merlin* Sorcerer! *Arrests him and goes to the King*

Arthur: What is this?

Knight: Sire! I witnessed this servant doing Sorcery! *Points to Merlin*

Arthur: It's Merlin.

Knight: Yes Sire. He was doing magic.

Merlin: Arthur I can explain-

Arthur: *Raises his hand up to pause his words* You sure of this?

Knight: *Says smugly* Yes Sire!

Arthur: Right then. *Proceeds to go to his desk and picks up something before signing them with his seal*

Arthur: Hand this to Geoffrey, from henceforth the Magic Ban has been lifted.

Knight: WHAT!? 😱

Merlin: WHAT!? 🤯

Knight: B-but- my King?! WHY!?

Arthur: *Casually shrugs* It's Merlin.