#i can't respond to rp's i enjoy with partners i enjoy. i can't write fics about prompts and premises that i like.
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okay so the tags on that last post got me feeling those melon collies so i'm just gonna. tagdump in here. slightly sensitive topics? so uh. scroll down (or press J to jump to next post). or read my thoughts like the morning paper. sorry. cheers.
#edit: oh cool the mature content warning doesn't actually hide the tags? that's fucked.#i'll drag these to the top hopefully it'll push some lines back#one last space-filler tag for the road - weird brain thoughts afterwards#i dunno i'm just. i do not have a sense of self. i do not have a sense of identity.#essentially anything i can ascribe to myself is worn in the same vein that it fits close enough.#like clothes picked out after hours of unsuccessful shopping and im just tired and want to go home#am i a writer? sure. i write decently. i have a decent grasp of sentence structure. puts me leagues above plenty of other writing i see.#but then when i actually decide that i should write something i'm just filled with dread.#i can't respond to rp's i enjoy with partners i enjoy. i can't write fics about prompts and premises that i like.#am i a gamer? sure. i got multiple consoles; multiple game sources for each console; a backlog of games ive had to catalog.#but when i try to pick one out to play i just. don't want to. nothing appeals. nothing looks fun. i ask for suggestions and i take none.#anything singleplayer i have to stream or it's not fun. anything multiplayer i have to coordinate with others until we get bored.#what do i *do?* what do i *enjoy?*#i can keep myself occupied if needed but at the end of the day im not fulfilled#am i a programmer? that's the closest thing to enjoyment i've gotten in a long time#but do i actually enjoy the act of programming or do i enjoy the result#where at the end of the day i can show off what i made and get lauded with praise#i get a similar sense of satisfaction when im doing tech support and pull something out my ass and everybody goes “whoa how'd you do that”#the analogy that i've used a lot is how in some games at the start it's fine and fun#you're getting progression you're making progress you're learning and earning#but eventually it just. stops. there's more - not just in theory; it's right there! you can see it! - but it's just. so far away.#you can get there EVENTUALLY but it's just a grind. just a slogfest. there's more to unlock. more to explore. just sign in today. tomorrow.#keep coming back. you'll get there. eventually. it'll take forever.#now if this was an ACTUAL video game people would recommend that you stop and step away. does it spark joy? no? stop playing.#but ah. i can't quite stop playing this one.#and don't worry! i don't plan on putting down the controller! even though i mope and grump and weirdtalk my way down this hill#there is ZERO chance of me doing that.#but i ah. don't have a desire to keep playing.#it's a weird middle state to be in. don't wanna put down the controller. don't want to keep playing. i am just sitting here.#ive been attributing my more frequent thoughts on the matter to the whole roommate situation
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Fanfiction Author Interview Game
Thank you to @danger-tits-lute
How many works do you have on AO3?
13
What's your total AO3 word count?
168,636
Though if I were to add the word count from fics I hadn't posted there, that's an additional 10,263 words of published fic. Those can be found here (the full collection of my writing partner and I's Treasure Planet collaboration). Technically they weren't posted to AO3 or Fanfic.net since neither my writing partner nor I felt it right to post in those places since some of those fics only the worlds are used. Mostly moments and stories for our main OC's.
Your top 5 stories by kudos:
Turning a Blind Mind (My Hero Academia)
No Eye for Design (My Hero Academia)
Pressed Flowers (My Hero Academia)
Stolen Valor (Treasure Planet)
A Waltz to Remember (Star Trek: The Original Series)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to though I don't end up always doing so. I don't think I did in the beginning? But I can't quite recall.
Do you write crossovers?
Yes and no. My Treasure Planet universe with my writing partner has specific crossovers with Tarzan and Atlantis: The Lost Empire, but in those cases it was more because they fit into the late Victorian, early Edwardian time frame that Treasure Planet is loosely based on, and we were able to adapt them to Treasure Planet's generous setting. Definitely not something I do lightly.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
No. Not that I don't like smut, I just haven't written it.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of!
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Oh the vast majority of my Treasure Planet stuff was a co-writing situation. The only reason any of those fics got longer than a chapter was because of my writing partner lol.
What's your all-time favourite ship?
I'll give two answers since my actual absolute favorite ship to write was a pair of OC's my partner and I wrote for: Dr. Eleanor Gray and Charlotte Ko. GUUUH I love them. As far as characters that actually exist in other works, I very much enjoyed writing for Erasermic in My Hero Academia.
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
As much as it pains me, probably Ascent. I started it because I was in a sort of dark place in my life, but I also wanted to prove that I could write a longer fic WITHOUT my partner. Yeah, well, it was clear how THAT went. There was also a fic that I wanted to do since I was helping John's Hopkins with a research project that included the Spanish Flu Pandemic as a scenario basis as it was 100 years since that event. It was going to be the Treasure Planet characters dealing with a pandemic in Port Crescentia with Dr. Gray being the highlight as the main medical professional. I got delayed because of grad school and another fic, but when I was finally ready to start? The Covid pandemic hit and things got a bit TOO real. Maybe one of these days I'll go back to it, but it was very uncanny.
What are your writing strengths?
If you ask my writing partner, it would be brevity. Not to diss me, but I could distill one of his thoughts much more succinctly. I guess I also enjoy domestic fluff a LOT. Though I don't know if I'd say I'm GOOD at it.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Description, I think. Especially visually. Follow through on anything that I can't get done in one sitting. Two max.
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
Cheap shot and going with Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss. I RP in it but I haven't made official fics yet. Though I've written some drabbles for friends, but I've never published them anywhere. Not sure if I want to since those are often highly specific AU's or scenarios.
What's your favourite fic that you've written?
Two answers on this one too. The best time I had writing a fic was actually entirely OC's in the Treasure Planet setting. Training Day is about some Navy Medics in training going through an unconventional exercise intended to get them ready for a chaotic battle scenario. I was crying laughing through part of it. For one with canon characters? Really hard to chooooose but I think No Eye for Design. It and its sequel were more about me working through what it means to me to have aphantasia. While its predecessor, Turning a Blind Mind, is probably more meaningful, this one has some cute fluff I greatly enjoyed. As a bonus, my favorite scene ever to write was actually in Atlantis Returns. No spoilers, but Kida merges with the Heart of Atlantis and while my partner wrote most of it or we were collaborative, I wrote that scene entirely myself. Just really proud how it came out.
Tagging: .... idk who among here writes fic that is published to AO3 but if you see this and want to do it, let me know and let me SEE.
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks for the tag, @sublightsleeper <3 Answers under the cut!
1. How many works do you have on ao3? That I claim as Mel? 10. In total? 18.
2. What's your total ao3 word count? 88,469.
3. What fandoms do you write for? Exclusively wrestling that I claim on here, but I've also written for comic fandoms, a single Fire Emblem: Awakening gift fic, and...other things I'd rather not name.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1.) Moon Knight fanfic 2.) be my sunshine and sing (Max^2) 3.) Embarrassing fandom fic 4.) another embarrassing fandom fic 5.) mad that I gave half the day to last night (also Max^2)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do respond to comments - or try to, at least! Sometimes I just don't know what to say LOL
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Either when your prized possessions start to weigh you down OR i'm no good, I'm here for lust. Pick and choose between "cheating on each other with your respective exes but probably not going to leave with them permanently either" and "fellas, is it an asshole move to leave the guy who just sucked your dick to escape a genius loci?"
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Either mad that... (where Caster successfully gave the other Max his gift) or make those rainbows in my mind (because it was literally written to be non kayfabe compliant fluffy goodness).
8. Do you get hate on fics? Not yet. I hope I never have to.
9. Do you write smut? Very tentatively.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I've only written one crossover. It's a comic book fandom one crossing Stephanie Brown from the Batfam with a very specific Marvel Z-lister. Never finished it but it was fun while it lasted!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nah.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Hell yeah I have #PBPRPexperience - I in fact literally just posted one a few days ago with @spaghettisaurusrex (grown on the edge of the ocean)!
14. What's your all-time favorite ship? Hmm. In fandom? IDK if I have an all-timer, TBH. I write a lot of shippy stuff but...
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? There was this MK fanfic I had a great idea for that never got past chapter one. Oops. Wrestling-wise I only have two, but they're definitely both things I'd love to pick up in the future: angels scream, searching for some love and understanding and heat it up (never live it down).
16. What are your writing strengths? I have no idea. Once an RP partner told me my sentences are like puzzles/gifts you have to unwrap with delicacy but not with difficulty, so I guess that! I also enjoy really getting into the POV character/s' heads and psyches so I'd hope that my attention to detail re: the narration feeling like a specific person is good.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Finishing things, or its inverse of trying to push too hard to finish a work and getting burnout. Stringing events together in a way that doesn't feel uneven or abrupt in its transitions is also something I struggle with.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Usually do italics translations, but if I ever have the chance to slip Tagalog in I would! :)
19. First fandom you wrote for? Warrior Cats, baby!
20. Favorite fic you've written? Can't choose, really. I really like the MK fic, grown/the collaborative fairy tale AU, prized possessions, and the dark horse pick of never been so divine in accepting your defeat.
I tag El, @shes-a-voodoo-child, @limbreaper, @scissormedaddyass, and @pleasantpastels!
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