#i can't imagine sitting there realizing that everyone will die and it's all your fault

[isekyaaa]

But on the other hand, a psychological horror fanfiction of That's Not My Neighbor in which you are the doorman and a certain entity becomes obsessed with making your life a living hell.

[thatnonameuser]

Hi, happy 20th birthday. I hope you spent your birthday in good company. And how will yandere react to darling, who has a disease called "Anhidrosis", and he does not feel pain in principle, because of which he acts recklessly and silently strives for death in the hope of feeling at least some pain. And when he finds the most painful way to die, he is sincerely happy. He studies the concept of pain and death and strives to feel it. And honestly says that he is ready to give his life just to feel at least something. (google translator)

Anhidrosis(lack of sweat)confused me for a second but that was Google Translate's fault.

A darling with anhydrosis. And wants nothing more than to experience it, and wants to die a painful death….

This is a half imagine because I'm probably adding another part to this. A smut one.

CW: Dead Dove: Do not Eat if you are triggered by self-harm, voluntary FGM(a mention nothing graphic) or suicide, don't read. I might be breaking my own rules but this idea was very interesting.

At age three you realized that you could never feel pain.

You'd badly skinned your knee, gained from a nasty slip and fall of the swing set, but after you'd fallen all you did was sit and stare at the blood dripping from your knee.

You remember poking it, and feeling only the warm blood stick to your skin, and nothing else. So you kept playing, not caring about the blood running down your legs.

It was only after someone noticed did you realize how bad your injury was. At first, everyone thought you just had a high pain tolerance, or were just being a brave kid. Which you wore with a badge of honor.

But when everyone can experience something you can't, you start to wonder.

What was it like? Would it be good or bad?

You had to find out.

So you started to get hurt on purpose. Jumping from higher ledges, ‘slipping’ down stairs, poking yourself with sewing needles and cutting yourself with scissors.

You did whatever you could to feel pain, but when you got cuts and bruises you didn't get any new feelings.There was no tears, or crying , or the need to complain about how much it hurt.

And you hated it. Every failed attempt drove you to do more harm to yourself, placing your palms into fire, riding bikes super fast without protective gear and crashing, provoking dogs so they would bite you, but..

You never felt pain. You couldn't feel pain.

At first, the people around you thought your acts of self harm were attention seeking, but after you purposely beat your arm with a hammer till your fingers went numb, you were forced to go to a doctor and you got diagnosed.

You were sick, yeah mentally, but physically you were unable to register pain no matter how hard you tried.

And that made you depressed knowing that this foreign sensation was barred from you forever. So you harmed even more. Cutting yourself with blunt knives, pressing hot irons to your skin,every twisted thought you could come up with.

But after your diagnosis, your life was spent being coddled. Knives and tools locked in drawers. The house you-proofed. Teachers and friends made to watch you constantly.

You could never get the opportunity to hurt yourself, and that made you want to die even more. All you wanted was to feel what pain was, and now you couldn't do that either. Your desperation to feed that addiction got worse and worse, it became all you thought about, finding that pain, that total, consuming, and endless pain.

You lost whatever survival instinct was stopping you, and you began to harm with intent to kill. To die. You researched your methods thoroughly, got thrown into a psych ward for your troubles. But regardless, you preserved, learning how to attack the spots that cause the most debilitating pain.

Still nothing.

But you kept pushing, kept planning. Scars cover you now. Everywhere in every place, even what would have been your most delicate and sensitive regions….thought they were hardly sensitive given your attempts.

All you wanted….was to die. Slowly, miserably and as painfully as possible

But then a wrench came into your plans, a carriage to a whole new world. You were a little excited to wake up in a place that was outside the laws of your normal boring society, one that worked completely different, on the jaws of what one person calls crazy, but hey, you weren’t any saner.

Where love is obsessive and smothering, and murder is allowed within Sage Island’s borders.

But you were a darling. And people like you don’t get to be seen as anything more than delicate. You managed to hide it the best you could, not wanting to repeat a life of over-protection and smothering, bu you got caught.

It was an accident really, you forgot to lock the door to your bathroom, and Ace and Deuce found you while looking for you. You were halfway through your bi-weekly cutting when they found you.

They freaked out and the rumors flew fast. Soon everyone knew.

And they all freaked out.

Spells of protection to keep you from hurting yourself, potions keeping you too sedated to think straight. Malleus even put you into a dream world again to prevent you from harming and killing yourself, but you still tried in your dreams.

You started to hate them.

They were no better than the people back home like you were a porcelain doll on a shelf. If you were a doll, you wanted to shatter into pieces so small that you could never be put back together. Wouldn’t that be nice, being broken so badly and so painfully living would be impossible. But they would just lock you up in a padded cell and leave you there to ‘love’ you.

You only wanted ‘love’ if it was torture. Agony. A pain to breathe and to exist where a painful death is the happily ever after.

But two of them loved you the way you wanted, like you were something to break.

The Leech Twins.

The way they loved you was torture. And you loved it.

Floyd, the outwardly violent one, had squeezed you so tightly before that he broke your ribs. You loved watching him attack other students and the bloody messes that would be left when he was done excited you. You treasured the messy, jagged bites he’d give, grateful that he wouldn’t treat you like you were precious. You loved him angry, and the way he hurt you when he was.

And then there was Jade. If Floyd was violent, Jade was completely sadistic. And you loved that too. The complete nonchalance and calm that he’d normally show, mixing with the mirth in his eyes when he poisoned you and watched what it did to you. You didn’t feel anything new, but the way you writhed made you feel the closest to that sensation that you’d craved all your life.

Those two were capable of destroying you and in the Coral Sea they could get away with it.

You would despise being controlled and coddled by the others, but you’d love being finally breaking past that barrier to pain with one, or both you’re not picky, of those two. After all, they were the only ones that could do it.

Besides, life and love weren't a fairy tale. It's ending is death. For you, and it's a happy, painful one.

[factorialsfandoms]

I liked this update (but then again, I like all the updates). Hyrule was so cute! And Warriors was being very strong (but will we get to see him break down and be comforted?)

I think the next episode could go a couple ways:

Wild and Four talk. (I’m just waiting for the moment Four admits to splitting into four people and Wild’s just like “wait… that was real?!”)

We hear from the other Sky, Legend, and Wind. (Can you just imagine Sky and Legend comforting Wind as they tuck him into bed? That would be so adorable!)

Twilight gets corrupted. I figure he might wake up and attack whoever is sitting with him, probably Time and Hyrule, then escape out the window.

Twilight in a dreamscape. Maybe we’ll get Twilight in a dream fighting back against the darkness in his blood. Presumably this would end up with Twilight winning.

I very much don’t think Twi will die. Jojo likes him too much. It seems like it would be too easy though if Twilight magically got healed overnight (unless there’s a dreamscape sequence where he's fighting it). But having have a corruption arc is a big commitment. If he did, it could easily be another year or two (for us) before Twilight was back healthy and on the side of the light. I don’t have any problem with that (I’m a writer, I understand how stories work), but I know a lot of folks are getting tired of Twi being near death for like a year (I hope they realize that this could be only the beginning).

~ 🌲

I don't know if we'll get to, but yes! He should get a chance to have a break too. One way or the other. Break down, holiday-break, who knows!

All of your ideas make sense.

Please take the following as a criticism of my brain and not of Jojo or LU or any other artistic work, and you are correct in how stories work, etc etc etc. But I can't really talk about opinions on the update more (and why I'll cling to basically anything that isn't the ongoing plot with Twilight) without trying to explain my brain a bit.

I'll be honest I just don't really... enjoy things with ongoing plot as much? Just generally. Its still fun, but I forget things, I get tired or bored, and sunset in general just has not been nearly as enjoyable for me as short self-contained comics. This is absolutely a personal preference thing and not a problem with the story at all! And you mustn't and can't rush people. But its the same thing with fic - ongoing fic I really struggle, though long complete fic is fine. I can watch an entire TV series through, but waiting for episodes I just... Reach a point where I forget? It's been the same since I was a small kid, and its absolutely no fault of Jojo's that she's taking time with a very significant plot point (no matter what happens next things will shift a /lot/).

Also while I think corruption isn't unlikely I just don't like corruption stories as a matter of taste and so am pretending I don't read that option when I see it xD

In the nicest way possible I literally could not care about ongoing LU plot and never have, I just… like the comics where the boys are just… hanging out, for want of better terminology?

And I absolutely am still enjoying this and it 200% is literally just my personal preferences and tastes, and everyone has different ways in which they enjoy media and types they like. It is not a criticism of Jojo or any ongoing work creator or anyone who likes or makes corruption arcs, they just... aren't my preferred flavour? I've never had much patience in my media. Books I love I've never read the sequels to simply because they weren't released when I read it and in one case 3 weeks was too long to wait. This is absolutely a my brain problem, but you can imagine what a year of the same plot is doing to me. ^^; Its very good content! I'm just in the category of people fed up with it (but then I've been fed up with it since I got here, always going "it must be over soon right this is so many more parts than any previous single title", and I'm still here, and I'm still finding ways to have fun).

Honestly I have the same problem writing anything longer than a single-sitting oneshot. As soon as I've looked away from a thing, its incredibly hard for me to look back. Even if it was just I went to have dinner - hyperfocus is a tricky master. That I can go months, see an LU update, and enjoy it is actually extremely unusual and a testament to it being good.

However before I finish I want to offer you a tasty idea I have been stewing over in my brain a bit - Twilight dream sequence. He succeeds in saving his own life and fighting back to not be destroyed, but fails at the last hurdle to not be possessed (or whatever). That, or he develops a long term every night he has to fight /again/ (and one day he will slip up, just there'll be a bit where he appears to have recovered bar understandable "nightmares" in between before he does).

I'll be honest I sway towards dream sequence because the last page or so /looks/ like the start of a dream sequence.

2 would however be adorable. 1... I do expect we'll see 1, but not for a /long/ time. I tend towards thinking that the "core" problem of Twilight needs resolving before that gets tackled.

... And now you got me rambling.

[nothing-but-dreamy]

HC: s/o is dying in their arms

A/N: So..... I got this request:

"If you have the time do you think maybe you could do a headcanon with the resident evil boys reacting to their s/o dying in their arms? That angsty stuff ya know?"

And, here you go! I took Leon Kennedy and Chris Redfield. Enjoy...?

Words: 3.135

Warnings: angst, mention of blood, mention of death, raw emotions (the whole palette; gender neutral reader

Leon Kennedy:

- before Leon even can react, the infected has bitten you, digging its teeth into your flesh what caused you to cry out in pain and in surprise because you haven't noticed it behind you at all

- Leon kills the zombie or infected or whatever it was Umbrella had created this time before he runs to you

- you are already coughing blood; you press your hand on the wound but you are already spilling the blood on your bulletproof vest - ironically that you thought a bullet would kill you when you are fighting against BOWs

- you see Leon's concerned expression and that is the only thing that is really hard for you in this moment - to see him suffer; he is the last one who deserves any of this because he is too nice, too lovely, too handsome and too precious

- because deep down inside of you, you know that it is over; this is the end of your journey; the BOW didn't just take a little bite to taste you - no, it took the whole buffet and a refill on top

- you already feel the virus spreading through your veins, nagging on the healthy blood cells to change them into something nasty, at least you imagine it to be like this; it is just a question of time what happens first: that you become one of these undead monsters on your own OR that you die of immense blood loss - internally, you hope for the second option because the last thing that should ever happen is that Leon sees himself forced to kill you

- Leon kneels next to you; he doesn't even care if he is already covered in your blood, the only thing he is trying is saving your life

- he tries to give you the anti-virus but you stop him what makes Leon even more furious, a state you barely have witnessed before from this skilled, composed but also cheeky agent who always has some funny words on his lips to make you smile

"Could you please keep still so I can help you?"

"Leon, n-no... just ... don't.", you breathe, stopping his hand while you get shook by new waves of coughing.

"YN, we don't have much time. So, please, be smart and listen to me just this one time.", Leon says composed but you already see the tears glittering in the corners of his eyes - these beautiful, bright eyes you will miss the most because they held the promise of your shared future in them.

"It... it would be just a- a waste..", you choke out, taking the anti-virus to throw it out of reach for Leon who stares at you in shock, "The blood lo-lo... the loss is faster than the virus. At.... at least, I- I'm not turning into ... into...", your voice breaks as you become short of breath.

- Leon already sits on the ground, ignoring whatever happens around him; it doesn't matter at all; he just sits down, pulling you onto his lap while enclosing you with his arms as strong as he can to pull you close to his chest, the place where you have been preferably when you two were together, spending quality time in bed together

- this time, it is the same; your hands already find their way to his chest so you can feel his heartbeat while you try to breathe and live a little bit longer; you fight till your last breath just to look into Leon's handsome face, framed by these always so soft fringes; that is the last wish you have to whatever entity that might be out there - that Leon's face would be the image that will burn into your mind that it will persist till you reach the afterlife

- Leon tries to stay strong for you but it is not working; the tears are already running free as he realizes that you are right; no help would be fast enough to save you; so, this is the last opportunity he has to say things; things he always had on his mind when he saw you, when he was with you but he never found the right moment to say them; Leon was sure he would have all the time in the world to show you what you meant to him if he wasn't able to tell you that - now, he had to realize that he was wrong

"Leon... p-please, look at me...", you plead softly, seeing his eyes is something you cling to as if they are the lighthouses which would guide you back into life.

Leon smiles weakly at you and strokes bloody strands out of your face, "Don't worry, you have my whole attention like always. I always had eyes just for you, sweetheart.", he whispers.

"Oh, n-no... y-you won't start now with the-these cheesy nicknames.", you choke out, accompanied with some more blood.

Leon chuckles softly about the fact that you are still the same, talking back like always, "Fight me. When you decide to leave me, I can decide to call you 'sweetheart' as much as I want.", he says and shows you your favorite smirk even through tears.

You chuckle, "Yeah, blame me for that, Kennedy.", you whisper.

Leon leans closer to you as he notices that you become weaker, even the grip of your hands becomes less, "There are so many things I always wanted to tell you and now, you... you-", but his voice breaks because no matter how tough he wants to be it is you he is losing right now. You are his partner as an agent and in life, working side by side and living even closer.

With your last strength, you raise your hand to cup Leon's cheek, "Then tell... tell me the most imp-important thing...", you say slowly to get the words out as clearly as possible.

Leon leans against your weak touch, already feeling how your skin becomes colder. You also start to shiver and he brings you even closer to keep you warm with the body heat you were always searching for, "The most important thing? That I love you, YN. I lost my heart on you the moment I met you no matter how frustrating you were with your trouble-making attitude. As we started to date, I was the happiest man on this planet and this never changed. You just make me so damn happy. I should have told you that so much earlier.", he whispers.

You smile weakly at him, "Better now th... th-then never...", you whisper. Actually, you want to say more but you can't.

Leon, who sees it, leans down, raising your chin with his forefinger softly lying underneath it so he can reach your lips for a longing, loving and caring kiss. He feels you responding to his lips. You kiss him back. He continues to kiss you with more force, with more emotions until he notices that there is no reaction from you anymore.

- Leon squeezes his eyes shut, leaving your lips slowly and resting his forehead against yours while countless hot tears are running down his cheeks; he covers you with his tears, a veil of undying love Leon carries for you

- he's clinging desperately on your lifeless body in his arms; his fingers are digging into your skin in hope to jolt you back into life but nothing happens

- he even sobs ugly and muffles the sound as he buries his face into your hair to take a deep breath of your scent for the very last time

- he just sits like this for no matter how long, embracing you, until medics come to bring you away - or at least, they try because Leon won't let go of you; only as another agent comes to remind Leon of the rules and the protocols they have to follow, Leon gives in and let go of you but just very reluctantly

- in the end, Leon Kennedy stands there, covered from head to toe in your blood with dark gleaming eyes and a grim expression on his face with the strong determination to destroy Umbrella and everything else which fault it was that he had lost the love of his life forever

Chris Redfield:

- as Chris hears the shot, it isn't just the sound of a bullet leaving a gun;

- it is the sound that will burn itself forever into his mind, into his memories and into his heart because the moment he hears it accompanied by your muffled scream, a big part of his life will change within one second

- Chris turns around and sees you slowly slumping down on your knees before you fall to the ground, lying on your side and gasping for air

- the Umbrella subject the team was chasing is already on the run with the gun still in his hand; two members of Chris' team are running after him, catching and arrest him

- but Chris doesn't care for the mission any longer as he sees you nearly unconscious lying on the ground, a puddle of blood already forming underneath you; seeping from the nasty gunshot wound in your body

- with long strides, Chris is next to you in just a few seconds; he throws his rifle aside; undressing the protected jacket he is wearing to press it onto your wound to stop the bleeding but he already has noticed that your aorta got hit; blood is already everywhere and still pouring out of you very quickly

"YN! Open your eyes! Now! That's an order!", Chris says serious and slaps softly on your cheek to wake you up.

Very slowly because you already feel weak, you open your eyes just to see his worried expression, "That didn't go as planned, right?", you choke out with a strained voice.

- The other members of the team are in some distance just watching helplessly the scene; the medic feels frustrated and angry because there is nothing he could do to help you; he already had seen that you will die within the next few minutes and in the way Chris treats you in front of everyone, the medic knows that Chris is aware of your death as well

- Chris knows what such a wound means and so, he doesn't want to waste any precious moment with you; you, the one person he kept the closest to himself; it were against a bunch of rules to start something with a team member and Chris always was dutifully enough to stick to the rules until you showed up; you changed the game the second Chris had laid his eyes on you;

- you were the best explosive expert he could ask for; your personality was just as spicy as your grenades and first, Chris thought you were just toying with him but quickly, during a mission where the two of you had to save each other asses, he realized that you weren't just flirting out of fun instead, you really wanted him; Chris was sure with his assumption as you were kissing him;

- that was you and your character - cheeky, playfully, bubbly, maybe a bit too over the top but straight forward if you really wanted something; mostly when you wanted him

- all this is swirling through Chris' mind as he kneels next to you, scooting you up into his lap to have you closer; he doesn't care if someone sees the two of you; he already expected your relationship to be an open secret to the other members of his team; they all knew about the two of you and secretly, they were all shipping you two so hard; destroying any kind of rumors in the beginning to protect the two of you and that no superior would notice the tiniest bit

You look into his beautiful but concerned eyes, "Chris, I'm sorry, I fucked up.", you whisper, your voice is layered with pain and agony; you even try to move but you give up as you already feel your body becoming numb

"Shh, everything will be good again, you will see. Don't worry.", Chris whispers and strokes softly over your back. He's lying, he knows it, you know it, the others know it, but no one cares; you know he needs that to stay strong for you or otherwise he would break in front of you;

- no matter how tough Chris Redfield seems to be on the outside, you know how soft he is on the inside; you discovered this side on him very quickly because he couldn't keep up his resistance in front of you; this tough, tall and broad guy turned into a soft, passionately and cuddly teddy bear in your hands and you wouldn't want to have it differently

"Yeah, you know, Captain, there are still a few things I wanna do with you.", you say low with a soft smirk, using your favorite 'nickname' for him to produce a weak smile on Chris' lips; you always used his military rank as a teasing nickname when you two were in bed, knowing exactly that it turned him on to get called that from you in a sexy voice

"What things do you wanna do? Tell me so we can plan something for the next week. We all need a break.", Chris asks, his voice just a whisper because he can't speak louder anymore or otherwise the raw emotions would take control over him completely.

"Showing you my home town. My mother wants to meet you so desperately.", you say before you hissed with pain, "You know, I told her a few things about you."

"Oh, already? I had no idea you're so serious with me.", Chris says, his voice heavy with tears while he strokes beads of sweat out of your face.

"Obviously, I fell in love with your sexy ass and now, there's no turning back anymore for me because I just love you, Chris.", you whisper weakly, one single tear is running down your cheek because the last thing you want is to leave this incredible man forever.

- that you address him by his name is almost too much for Chris to handle because you just do it when you talk about important, serious things; he swallows thickly because your confession is everything he always wanted to hear no matter how sure he was to have you; to hear these three words coming from your lips was everything Chris was longing for and now, as they came, he would have done everything to switch these words with your life to keep you by his side a little bit longer

Chris pulls you even closer, "I know you will hate it to hear but I won our bet that you would say 'I love you' first. Gotcha.", Chris breathes, nudging your nose with his and now, he even can't stop the tears anymore from running freely down his cheek, soaking his shirt and even your combat clothes

The blood loss is already too heavy and so you claw your hand into Chris' shirt to pull him down to you because you can't move properly anymore, "I can handle losing this silly bet because I already got the jackpot of my life a long time ago.", you breathe before you connect your lips with Chris’ for the most passionately and longing but at the same time desperately kiss the two of you have ever shared.

- all the love you feel for this soldier is lying in your lips which are getting colder with each passing second. Chris' lips are hot against yours, the stubble he sports as a beard, because you like to see it on him the most, is already wet with heartbreaking tears; you try to deepen the kiss but the dizziness in your head is already too much; Chris encloses your face with his free hand, supporting your neck with his long fingers and kisses you stronger than before; your tongues are caressing each other lovingly before Chris breaks the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours

- You feel Chris' warm breath fanning over your face while his heart is racing under your weak grip of your hand. You hate to see him suffer like this, knowing that he has to live with the pain to lose you, to be alone again. You hope he finds someone else even if you already know that Chris will have a tough time while coping with your death, maybe even using your death as the cause to start a vendetta against Umbrella and everything they do.

Your vision becomes slowly blurry and the edges of your sight are already black, "Chris, promise me that you won't do reckless things...", you choke out, followed by some coughing.

"Stay by my side and I won't do anything, I promise.", Chris whispers, offering you a solution.

"I will always be by your side, Chris. I will be watching over you.", you breathe before Chris kisses you again until there is no more reaction from you.

- Chris rests his forehead against yours, clinging to your dead body and crying silently with closed eyes; his face is a mask of pure agony and despair while he grit his teeth; his veins are filling with anger and hatred for what has happened to you; he still can't believe that you are gone, that you have left him just like this, leaving him alone in this crazy, cruel world of living nightmares

- the team is speechless about the whole scene; to see these two lovers getting separated far too early hit all of them; just the medic is able to function, knowing what kind of protocols they have to follow; the medic tries to get Chris away from you but the huge Captain is not moving; so, the three others have to drag him away from you with all the power they can find

- reluctantly, Chris let go of you, standing up with shaking knees; while he tries to catch his breath, his eyes are landing on the suspect who had shot you; before someone of the others can stop him, Chris, feeling like a blank nerve, storms over to him, pushing him up against a wall, beating into the man's face what brings him down to the ground with a bleeding nose and eyebrow; Chris even wants to kick him but the team mates can hold him back, bringing him away so he can cool down somewhere else

- but Chris won't ever cool down again; he promises to himself to use your death as the fuel to keep the fire burning to fight until the last BOW and even Umbrella would have paid for what they had done to you

- You didn't want him to do something reckless but Chris wouldn't do anything reckless, he would be merciless till the moment he would see you again

[yourmidnightlover]

three, four squeezes

Summary- spencer finds watches you take what he thought was your last breath. turns out they weren't, but you're now in a coma. 

TW: coma, fem!reader, spencer pining, angst/fluff ig?, blood, gunshot

WC- 5,681

masterlist

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guilt.

regret.

pain.

fear.

spencer couldn't stop fiddling between as he rode with you in the back of the ambulance.

the guilt he felt as he realized that everything was his doing, his fault. if he wouldn't have froze and if he would've told you how he felt neither of you would be in this position.

the regret he had of never telling you how he felt. he never got to hold you as more than best friends and kiss you like he's wanted to so, so, so many times.

the pain of seeing you in so much pain. and the fear that worsened when you accepted the fact that you would die in his arms

the fear that the last time he held you was when you confessed your darkest secret to him. you never got to hear him tell you how much he truly loved you.

he took your much smaller hand in both of his and pressed it close to his chest, right on top of his heart as if he was trying to tell you what his heart had tried to make him.

he froze.

he shouldn't have froze.

he should've held you and told you how much he loved you. how much he wanted you. how much he's always wanted you.

he should've kissed you and never let you out of his sight. because maybe, just maybe, if he hadn't let you go then you would have never gotten hurt.

he was the reason you were dying.

he was lost in thought when the holter monitor held a steady, long beep. you had flatlined.

-

you felt the warmth radiating over your skin as you shifted in your position to sit up. you took in your surroundings.

you were in an endless pasture, filled with tall grass that would reach your knees if you had stood up. the sky was perfect, clear, baby blue color that you haven't seen in a while. you were laying on a red blanket with a picnic basket by your side.

the smell of fresh flowers and fresh grass filled your nose. the calming scent bringing you the peace that radiated around you as you observed further into this place.

you had on a flowy, pastel purple sun dress and a pair of white flats on. you turned your head to the side, only to notice you weren't alone.

"spencer!" you cheered excitedly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into your touch. "you're here," you breathed out.

"i am here," you felt the vibrations of his chuckle. "but you shouldn't be here."

you pulled back and looked at him confused. "wh-why not?"

"because," he pushed a strand of hair out of your face as he gazed into your eyes. "you need to go back, sweetheart."

a rush of memories flooded your brain.

you confessed your past, your regret, your love.

he didn't love you back.

you were shot.

"i... i don't want to go back," you admitted with furrowed brows. "i want to stay here. with you."

he looked at you with what seemed to be pity. he scooted closer to you and wrapped his arm around you to pull you closer to his body.

"you can be with me back there. you know that," he said as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

"no, i won't. not-" you took a deep breath, "not like this."

"but this isn't even real. i'm just a figment of your imagination. you're disassociating with your body, and i'm your safe place," he said nonchalantly, as if hearing that didn't break your heart even more.

"but i want to be with you, spence. i've ruined everything out there. you don't want me," you spilled, letting a tear slip past your eye and down your cheek.

"i will always want you, y/n. always," he assured you as he pressed a kiss to your hairline.

"how do you know?" you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"because i'm a genius. remember, sweetheart?" he chuckled.

"promise me?" you said as you turned around and held his hand, squeezing it in anticipation.

"i promise. go back, y/n. you need to go back." he repeated.

"not yet. just a little longer with you, please. just a little longer with you," you pleaded.

-

spencer had to let go of your hand so the doctors could get the defibrillator. he began shaking before he told himself to be strong. he had to be strong for you.

"please don't leave me..." he prayed for the first time in a while to a god he wasn't even sure he believed in. "don't die on me."

one of the paramedics ripped your shirt open so they could begin to start the chest compressions. spencer hated seeing you so helpless, lifeless, hopeless.

"charge to 260!" one of the doctors yelled before yelling clear and connecting it to your skin.

nothing.

"charge to 350!" she pressed it to your chest and abdomen one more time.

suddenly the monitor began beeping steadily again. you were alive. not okay, but you were breathing.

you had a heartbeat again.

you weren't leaving him yet.

"oh thank god!" he exclaimed as he watched the paramedics leave your side, allowing him to fill their void. he took hold of your hand once again and pressed his lips to it as he watched the paramedic on the other side of you monitoring everything going on with your status.

"thank you, y/n. thank you so much," he placed another kiss on your knuckles as he used his to wipe his tears away.

when you had made it to the hospital he decided to finally call morgan and garcia. he would let them know what happened, minus the whole love confession part, and ask them to alert the rest of the team.

morgan replied in asking if she was okay, and asked for the details later when he got there. garcia was just rushing to get out of her apartment and to the hospital to check on her 'little cherry blossom.'

garcia got there first no doubt breaking a few speed limits in the process, but he didn't mind because now he wouldn't be alone with his own mind. she engulfed spencer in her arms and let him sob it out as she did the same. she didn't ask what happened, she knew he would tell her when he was ready.

morgan took a bit longer, surprisingly. although, in his defense, he did live on the other side of town. upon arrival, he just placed a firm hand on spencer's shoulder and sat beside him in a seat, silently providing his own comfort.

jj was next to arrive. she was already in tears when garcia had called her to make her aware of the news. she gave spencer a tight hug before sitting beside garcia.

when emily got there she raced to jj to ask if they had any information yet, they didn't. she checked on spencer, making sure he wasn't losing his mind completely. she finally settled down and sat beside jj, placing a comforting hand on top of hers.

rossi and hotch arrived at the same time, they were both working late, finishing a few extra case files. they went around comforting the rest of the team, and made sure to pay extra attention to spencer.

everyone knew how close the two of you were. you were like bonnie and clyde, but rather you both solved crime instead of ensuing it. and they knew how much it pained him to see her in pain. even on cases when she would get wounded, spencer would pay the utmost care and attention to you.

spencer didn't say a word. he didn't say what happened. nobody asked. they sat in silence, with almost constant tears from the fear of losing you, waiting for answers to how you were doing.

after a few more hours, jj decided to ask the doctor yet again on any updates on your condition. she quietly got up after letting go of emily's hand and walked over to the front desk.

"ma'am," jj asked the receptionist, "is there any update on y/n y/l/n and her surgery. it's been a few hours now and we're getting wo-"

"y/n y/l/n?" a doctor came into the waiting room holding a clipboard, waiting for someone to claim her company.

spencer jumped up from his seat when he heard her name. everyone had refrained from using in fear of striking something in spencer. they didn't want to upset him more than he already was, so they just kept their mouths shut.

"yes?" he excitedly asked, feeling the sweat in his hands and the exhaustion overwhelming his body.

"she's out of surgery now. she's in a stable condition, but there's some bad news," the doctor grimaced as the others waited expectantly for the rest of the news. "she had a prolonged period of time without oxygen to her brain, she's now in a coma. we aren't sure when she'll wake up," the doctor finally spewed out. "you can go visit her now. maybe one at a time so she can decipher who's who. she can hear what you say, so make it positive and encouraging," he concluded.

spencer looked back at the team, waiting for them to signal that he could go visit her before following the doctor to your room.

spencer walked inside and saw you lying there, lifeless while barely alive. and it was all his fault. you told him it wasn't his fault. in what you thought were your last moments, you wanted him to be at ease. while you were bleeding out from his stupidity, you still claimed your love that he never told you he returned.

and for that he would never forgive himself.

oh, what he would give to hear your laugh again. to see your smile, feel your touch, smell your hair once more. he wanted you back.

so he did the only thing he could do. he sat by your side and grabbed your hand for the millionth time and held it to his cheek, trying to feel your warmth.

"hi, y/n," he started off, deciding to give this whole 'encouragement' thing a try. "there are a lot of studies on whether or not someone can hear whilst their in a coma, but i'm going to try it anyway," he tool a deep breath.

"you're the strongest woman i know, and i meant it when i told you that earlier tonight. i know that you can get through this. i want you to know that i'll be here for you every step of the way. i promise. i-i'll take off every day until you wake up. i have to take a sabbatical anyway, so i can just ask them if i can take it early. if i can't then i'll make garcia come here every single day and i'll call her so you can hear my voice," the tears filled his eyes once again.

"i-i need you here with me, y/n. please," he begged for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"spence," jj called from the doorway. "would you mind if we all talked to her for a minute? then you can come back? i need to get back to my boys now that i know she's going to be okay," she said with a bit of guilt at the thought of her being able to go home.

home to her husband and children.

y/n has always wanted children. she'd be such an amazing wife, and an even better mother. spencer wanted the chance to witness her being a mother first hand, and maybe even being the mother to his own children.

he wanted to give her everything she's ever wanted. he wanted to stay with her until he was forced to have to leave.

truth be told, the day you walked into the bau, you changed his life forever and he didn't even know it. he thought it was just going to be another temporary fill in, until you performed so well at your job that the bau just had to hire you permanently.

you're so amazing at everything you do. everything you've ever done. you always push yourself to be and do your best, something spencer has grown to love and admire you for.

so he just hopes you have a reason to fight. a reason to fight for your life, to fight for him. he hopes that you have hope.

"yea, of course," he pressed his lips to your knuckles one more time before leaving the room, hugging jj on the way out.

garcia was right outside the door, waiting for spencer to come out so she could give him a hug. she wrapped her arms around his torso as his went around her shoulders.

"she's strong, spencer. she'll get through this," garcia tried to comfort him.

"you should've heard her. she-she sounded like she was ready to give up hen she was lying there, bleeding out on the ground," spencer pulled back to look at garcia. "i can't lose her. n-not now."

"you won't lose her," she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before he nodded to her and walked back into the waiting room, being met by emily's own embrace.

"i'm not gonna tell you how strong she is, because i think we all know that by now. but you can talk to me, reid. that's what you have to know. you can talk to any of us," she consoled before pulling back, her hands still gripping his shoulders tightly.

"sh-she told me she was in love with me," he said out loud for the first time.

"what?" emily's eyes widened at the realization before she pulled his hand to go into an empty room. "explain, please?"

"she told me she was in love with me," he repeated. "and i froze," he sighed.

"you froze? what do you mean? i thought you loved her too?" she pondered, a confused look clouding her face.

"how'd you know that? and yea, i do love her. i love her so much it hurts," he looked down at his feet. "i didn't say it back because i couldn't believe it was happening. i-i mean have you seen her? she's the definition of perfect and she said she loves me."

"oh, spencer," she said before giving him another hug, allowing him to break down in her arms.

"she walked out after that," he grimaced. "when i started walking back to my place that's when i heard the gunshot and called the ambulance. then i noticed it was her and i broke. it's my fault she was out there. if i would've told her how i felt she would've been in my arms and safe. instead, she's in a coma because i was too confused to say anything," he vented.

"it's not your fault, reid. you have to know that," she said before pulling back. "it's the guy who shot her's fault. not yours. you didn't pull the trigger."

"i might as well have. she doesn't know how i'm in love with her," spencer whined, feeling more hopeless than he did when he was kidnapped and drugged.

because at least then, he knew the team would be coming for him.

but he didn't know if you ever wanted to come back.

when you were lying there, dying, it was like you were saying goodbye as he held you in his lap. his hands, pants, and even shirt were covered in your blood.

he hadn't even noticed. he didn't care to notice. you were the only thing on his mind. everyone else knew he wouldn't leave without knowing your condition, so they didn't bother telling him to go clean up. emily noticed him eyeing his own appearance.

"go change. i'll call you if we have any updates. relax, please. she's not going to leave you," emily said before shooing him away to clean up.

spencer went to his place to change quickly and take a shower after morgan gave him his hoodie to wear on the drive there. meanwhile, emily walked out into the waiting room and took notice of morgan in his own worry.

"she'll fight. we know she will," emily confirmed as she walked to sit beside him.

"i know she will, but i'm also worried about the kid," morgan moved his head out of his hands as he looked at emily. "he told me how he was in love with her. and i'm willing to bet this has something to do with that. he's been through so much, he doesn't deserve to lose another person in his life."

"i know, you're right. he doesn't deserve this, nobody does, but he especially doesn't deserve this," emily said as she put her hand over his back, rubbing it soothingly.

"i'm gonna see if i can have my turn talking to y/n," he stood up and walked to your room, taking notice of jj still inside and penelope waiting patiently.

he wrapped his arms around garcia and let her cry as jj finished up inside before exiting and saying her goodbyes to everyone, allowing penelope to have her turn to talk with you.

showering helped spencer more than he thought it would. being covered in your blood was more frightening than he thought, so seeing his own skin on his hands was much easier for him.

he drove himself back to the hospital, wanting to avoid more prying eyes of cab drivers taking notice of his obvious grief and panic.

when he walked inside, hotch was inside your room with rossi, despite the 'one-person-at-a-time' rule. he knocked on the outside of the doorframe, alerting the two of his presence.

"kid. hey," rossi came up to greet him, giving him a quick hug before hotch did the same.

"reid, we know how close you two are, so just know that she's probably fighting to get back to you, the rest of us too, but especially you," hotch declared with a pity grin.

"i hope you're right," he glanced back in the room to look at you. "i really hope you're right."

spencer walked back into your room after the two older men left. he scooted the chair closer to your bed and held your hand. he crossed his arms on top of your bed, your hand still in his, and laid his head down on his arms.

he waited.

and waited.

and waited.

there was no progress.

he wanted you to come back to him. he wanted to feel your touch again and hear your laugh. he wanted to tell you how he felt. he just wanted you.

he was able to work at home on the few cases they received, and took his paperwork to your hospital room when he wasn't able to finish it as quickly as normal.

as the weeks went by, his hope began to dwindle, but his determination only grew. he was determined to be able to tell you how much he loved you while you were awake, so he refrained from spilling his guts while you were still unconscious.

he would read you books. your favorite books. the books you would ask him to read to you when you were feeling sad and wanted to hear his voice to calm you down.

he played your favorite songs. the songs you and him listened to on the way to work or to museums he would beg you to go to with him.

he even played chess with you. granted, he was more so playing himself acting as you. he would try to play whatever moves he felt you would play against him.

he cried with you. he cried for you to come back to him. he cried that you never stop fighting. he cried that he would get at least one more time to talk to you.

but one day the doctors noticed that you were able to breath on your own. they were able to take the tube out of your mouth and throat and nose. that was his hope. your strength was his hope.

he sped to the hospital that day, wanting to see you as soon as he could. it had been three weeks since the shooting, and he desperately needed the sight of your chest moving up and down voluntarily, a sign of your own breath breathing life into your body.

emily just nodded her head at him to go when he stormed into her office, she had received the same call seconds earlier.

when he came into your room, he as already in tears at the new progress. he brushed your hair out of your face and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"keep fighting, y/n/n. you're so close to coming back to me, to us, to the team. please keep going," he begged as he sat down by your side. "i got the call about you being able to breath on your own, and i ran into emily's office. she didn't even need to say anything, she knew it was you," he smiled momentarily.

"i can't wait to be able to hug you again, and feel your warmth again. i uhm, i never told you this, but we've kissed," he smiled at the memory. "it was that night you were drunk and told me about your parents. you had kissed me after i told you how beautiful and amazing you were, and how wrong your parents were. i kissed you back, too," he gently bit his lip at the confession. "i-i didn't tell you because... i shouldn't have kissed you back. god, i've always wanted to kiss you, but not when you were drunk and vulnerable. i felt like i took advantage of you, and i hated that i did that to you. so, i never told you," he frowned at the hidden secret.

"but please, please, please come back to me. please let me kiss you for real this time. let me tell you how i feel, and hold you forever and ever. please just don't leave me. i won't be able to take that, y/n. i know how selfish that is, but i can't live without you. these past few weeks without hearing your voice has been hell," he frowned.

he had called your phone every day since the shooting just to hear your voice on the voicemail. those 29 words have been one of the things he's loved listening to when he woke up. he'd never admit it, but you'd realize it once you checked your phone.

another thing he loved doing was look through his videos of you. in one particular video, maybe even his favorite, you had taken his phone and began recording him on it.

you knew he hated his own appearance, although you'd never understand why, so you secretly took his phone and began recording him.

"hey spence! can you come here?" you called as you were in the living room, waiting for him to bring you your chicken tandoori.

"yup! i'm coming!" he came racing out with the two boxes of takeout, giving you one as he sat on the couch. he didn't even notice the phone with how you placed it in your hands.

"thanks handsome," you teased, although you meant every word you said. his face automatically blushed at the compliment, but he rolled his eyes nonetheless.

"oh, shut it," he said before stuffing a piece of chicken in his mouth. you giggled at his reaction, his favorite sound in the world.

"never. i don't know why you think you aren't attractive. you're so beautiful, spence, i'm surprised you don't already have a special someone," you nudged him with your elbow, the phone now being rested against your thigh to get a perfect view of him. you could see the smile he tried to hide by biting his lip gently.

"but i guess that does mean i get to spend more time with you, so i won't object," you laughed out before finally taking a bite of the food.

spencer noticed the phone on your thigh after you took a bite, his eyes widening at what he realized you were doing.

"y/n! why were you recording me?!" he exclaimed, trying to grab the phone and succeeding. he turned the camera on to you as you began laughing loudly at his reaction. "what do you have to say for yourself, ma'am?" he questioned.

your smile was brighter than ever, your face red from all the laughing. you were wearing one of spencer's sweaters, your favorite one. you had taken a couple because 'they're cozier' than yours. you put your hands up in surrender.

"i guess you caught me, hot stuff," you laughed before he placed the phone down and began his tickle attack on you. "ahhh! spencerrrr! please!" you laughed out. "i surrender!" tears of laughter were streaming down your face.

"fine. i think you've paid your penance," he joked before grabbing the phone and turning the camera on only you once again, you blushing from the action. "y'know you're really beautiful, right?" you smiled widely at his confession, sensing the sincerity in his voice.

"thank you, spencer. so are you, truly beautiful," you smiled even wider before he finally turned the camera off.

he remembers that day like it was yesterday. he'd like to claim it was because of his eidetic memory, but it was also because of you.

you had gotten the weekend off and decided to spend it together, once again. you had stayed the night with him all weekend, you insisted on sleeping on the couch to which he objected, forcing you to take the bed with him.

you had woken up cuddled in each others arms, facing each other like you had been hugging the whole night. spencer felt the most content he had ever felt in that moment, never wanting to let you go or wake you, so he waited for you to wake up.

that was the best weekend he's had in a while. you two acted as if you were in a relationship, domestic. it was delightful.

there was another picture the two of you had taken after a rather successful case.

all the missing children were found safe, a rare occurrence, so you had gone out to a bar to celebrate. it was mostly emily, morgan, and garcia's doing, so you had all eventually agreed once you figured out they wouldn't back down.

you had known how spencer was at bars, he was sometimes rather uncomfortable with all of the people. it made him anxious and a bit intimidated. so after you had all met up at the bar and you noticed how nervous he was, you intertwined your arms and took his hand in yours.

"my mom used to do this thing when i was anxious or nervous to calm me down," you whispered, wrapping your other arm around his one as you squeezed his hand three times. "it's supposed to be our way of assuring the other. a way of saying i'm here," you explained before he squeezed four times in return, your brows furrowed. "what does that mean?"

"i-it could mean i'm glad you're here," he grinned as he noticed the smile that erupted on your face from his kind words.

and you didn't let go all night.

"please come back to me, i know you can. you're so strong, please just come back to me," spencer wailed. he felt your hand squeezing his as he held it, making his encouragement the entire reason you came back to him.

-

"spence, you're making a mess," you giggled, wiping the corner of his lip free of the chocolate you two were eating, still in that heavenly place.

"i'm sorry! it just tastes really good," he smiled back as he watched you lick the chocolate from your thumb.

"mm, you're right. it does taste really good," you nodded your head. "so i'm taking all of them!" you grabbed the box full of chocolate and began running. looking back to see spencer chasing after you, you bursted into a fit of laughter.

the tall grass tickled your legs slightly, the breeze lifting your dress a tiny bit as you continued to jog ahead of him, teasing him with your laughter. he finally caught up with you, taking you down with him as you both giggled.

“you got me, dork,” you laughed, pushing his shoulder lightly. 

“of course i do! did you expect anything less?” he said arrogantly, you rolled your eyes. 

“never from you, doctor,” you teased as he pulled you in closer to him, you nuzzled your face into his neck as he admired the view around him. suddenly he stood up, the chocolate box in hand, and began running. 

“you little tease!” you shouted before getting up to chase him as he did you previously. “spencer reid, you’re so gonna get it!” you laughed out

"don’t leave me," he turned around to face you and called out, suddenly you felt a pang in your stomach where you had been stabbed.

you made eye contact with him, a look of shock and horror on your face as you tried to figure out what was wrong before you collapsed to the ground.

"sp-spencer? what's happening?" you asked as he pulled you into his lap.

"it's been two weeks y/n, i-i miss you." he began. "i know you're right here with me, but i miss your voice. and your laugh-"

"spencer i'm right here. i was just laughing with you," you tried to interrupt his monologue.

"and i miss the way your hair would crowd my face as we slept and how it would make me wake up. i miss hugging you and-"

"spencer please, i'm here," you cried, squeezing his hand as hard as you could to signify your presence.

"please come back to me, i know you can. you're so strong, please just come back to me."

-

"y/n! can you hear me?!" he exclaimed, you squeezed his hand once more, a little tighter than the last time. "oh my god! oh thank you so much, y/n," he cried as he kissed your knuckles once more, your fingers twitching in the process.

"doctor. we need the doctor!" he said as he pressed the nurse's button. "she's squeezing my hand. her fingers started twitching!" he said excitedly as the nurse entered, exiting to get the doctor.

you squeezed his hands three times, him returning with four times. you understood what he meant. his eyes were trained on your face and he saw as your lips twitched upwards in a smile.

the doctor came in to perform a few tests and forced him to release your hand. he asked you to squeeze his hand once more, you followed suit. the doctor noticed your nose twitching and neck beginning to turn.

"she's gaining control over her body again. this was predicted once we found out she could breath on her own, we just didn't think it'd happen this quickly. a recovery this soon after removing the tube is almost unprecedented," he said in awe of your strength.

"she's the strongest person i know. it's no surprise that she's recovering this fast," spencer said as he took hold of your hand again.

"indeed. she should regain full control over herself within a few hours or by overnight at this point. go easy on her, she's still recovering from being shot. i also need to observe the bullet hole on her stomach, but you could stay for that if you'd like." spencer nodded as the doctor raised the hospital gown.

there was deep bruising around the bullet hole and a scab over top. your stomach looked smaller than it had the last time he'd seen it, a result from you having to be fed through a tube. you were unbelievably pale, no surprise there either because of the lack of sunlight.

"it's healing nicely, the scab looks healthy and the bruising is getting better. she's a fighter, this one," he smiled at spencer.

"you have absolutely no idea," he said, not breaking his eyes from your beautiful face.

the doctor left swiftly after charting her vitals and giving her a shot of her vitamins. spencer sat back down in the chair and held your hand once again, waiting for you to fully wake up so you could once again be in each others' arms.

later that day, at around 11:50, your entire body began shifting. spencer sat up straight away, trying to held you in any way possible.

"that's it, y/n! come on, you can do it, y/n/n," he cheered you on, smiling so hard he felt his eyes prick with tears. you turned onto your side, towards spencer, and your eyes had began to twitch open.

"sp-spencer?" you questioned once your eyes were fully open.

"yea, yes. it's me. i'm here. i'm right here," he wrapped his arms around you, adjusting his grip after you grimaced from his tight hold. "i'm never leaving. i'm never letting you leave again," he ranted out, placing a hand on the back of your head as you wrapped the arm that didn't have an iv around his body, pushing your head to nuzzle into his neck.

"i'm so sorry. i never should've left you there," you cried into his arms.

"it's okay, y/n. it's not your fault at all," he soothed as his hand started stroking your hair gently. "i'm so glad you came back to me. thank you so much," he sighed as he gently placed a kiss on your head."

"you really think i would go that easily? i thought you knew me better than that, dumbo," you laughed out.

"i'm glad to see you still have that sense of humor in you," spencer scoffed, followed by a bright smile.

"oh that's not going anwhere, spencer. and neither am i."

@averyhotchner  @greenprisca  @muffin-cup​

[justnerdthings]

Just a collection of Alex, Echo, and Jo incorrect quotes from a generator.

Jo: Some people are like slinkies. Echo: What? Jo: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Echo: Echo: Please don't push Alex down the stairs. Jo, pushing Alex down the stairs: Too late.

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Alex: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Echo has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them. Jo: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don’t want to be at? Alex: I knew you’d understand.

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Alex: We're having a baby. Echo: Oh, congradu- Jo, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.

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Echo: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a. Jo: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Alex: Fuck you.

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Echo: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Alex. Jo, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff? Echo: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood. Jo: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood? Echo: You wanted fake blood? Jo: Echo: I’ll go call Alex.

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Alex: Nice rock. Jo: Thanks, Echo gave it to me. Echo: I threw it at you! Jo: Aren't they the sweetest?

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Alex: Who wants to make fifty bucks? Jo: How? Alex: I need someone to take the fall. Jo: What did you do? Alex: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Echo, from the other room: Oh my god. Alex: ... Echo: OH MY GOD! Jo: Make it a hundred. Alex: Deal.

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Echo: So, what is Jo to you? Alex: The reason I wake up every morning. Echo: ...That’s adorable. Jo earlier that morning, barging into Alex′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

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Alex: I mean. Echo's just standing there now. Alex: Waiting for me, I guess. Alex: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settled down. Jo: Settled down? Alex: Well, they only stabbed me once.

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Jo: Can we go out to get icecream? Alex: Did you ask Echo? Jo: They said no. Alex: Then why did you ask me? Jo: They're not the boss of you. Alex, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

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Echo: Would you slap Alex- Jo: Yes. Echo: I didn't even finish! Jo: Sorry, continue. Echo: Would you slap Alex for 10 dollars? Jo: I would do it for free. Alex: Rude...

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Echo: Is this your plan B? Alex: Technically, this is plan P. Echo: Plan P? Is there a plan M? Alex: Yes, but I marry Jo in plan M. Jo: I like plan M.

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Echo: The moon looks beautiful, doesn’t it? Alex, looking at Echo: Yeah… but do you know what’s more beautiful? Echo and Alex in unison: *sighs* Jo

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Alex: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car? Jo: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Echo, deer!" Alex: ...And what did Echo do? Jo: ...They said "Yes, Honey?"

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Echo: Did Jo just tell me they loved me for the first time? Alex: Yeah, they did. Echo: And did I just do finger guns back? Alex: Yeah, you did.

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Echo, at Jo: Would you like to stay for dinner? Alex, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

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Echo talking at Alex’s funeral: You do know we’re burying a great person today! Jo, shocked: Did someone else die?

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Echo: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him? Alex: A pet WHAT?! Jo: William Snakespeare.

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Alex: Jo has no survival skills, their need to win has replaced them. Echo: That can't be true! Alex: Watch this. Alex: Hey Jo, race you to the bottom of the stairs! Jo: *Throws themself out a window*

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Alex: What are you guys doing? Echo: Like in life in general or- Jo: Not much. Why, what's up? Alex: I dunno, I’m bored playing AC. Jo: Assassins Creed? Alex: Animals Creed. Echo: Assassins Crossing.

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Echo: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Alex without them noticing? Jo: Hey, Alex, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny. Alex: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser. Echo: ...

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Alex: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Echo: Echo: I'm gonna tell them. Jo: Don't you dare.

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Echo: What time is it? Jo: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out Jo: *BLASTS the saxaphone* Alex: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING Jo: It’s 2 am

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Alex: Would you take a bullet for me? Echo: ...yes? *Jo angrily burst into the room* Alex: *running away* Great, thanks!

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Jo: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter? Echo: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes. Alex: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

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Alex: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Echo: Bees? Alex: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES! Echo: Wait- *Jo approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

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Echo: Jo and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us. Alex: What did you do? Echo: Jo chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and- Jo: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

-------------------

Jo: I lost Echo. Alex: How did you LOSE Echo?! Jo: To be fair, they are very small.

-------------------

Echo: Who do we know that has handcuffs? Alex: Well Jo and I- Jo: *elbows Alex* Alex: ...wouldn't know.

-------------------

Jo: What’s it like being tall? Jo: Is it nice? Jo: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Alex: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want. Echo: It was one time!

-------------------

Jo: I told Alex that their ears turn red when they lie. Echo: Do they? Jo: No. Echo: Then why did you tell them that? Jo: Because I can do this. Jo: Hey Alex! Do you love us? Alex, with their hands over their ears: No.

-------------------

Jo: Is Alex always like this when they lose? Echo: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015. Alex: You bumped that table and you know it!

-------------------

Alex: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Echo's birthday invitations. Jo: Well, what are they supposed to say? Alex: "Echo's birthday". Jo: So, what do they say instead? Alex: "Echo’s bi". Jo: Jo: Works out either way.

------------------

Echo: Alex got into a fight. Jo: That’s bad. Jo: Jo: Did they win?

-----------------

Echo: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it? Jo: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?” Alex, scoffing: Oh, please. Jo, to Alex: Hey, how you doin’? Alex: Alex: *giggles and blushes*

------------------

Echo: That shirt looks great, Alex. Alex: Thanks. Echo: But I bet it would look even better on Jo's floor. Jo: Are you hitting on Alex... for me?

------------------

Echo: Hey, do you know the password to Alex’s computer? Jo: Fuck you, Echo. Echo: Hey!! Jo: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouEcho". Echo: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

-------------------

Jo: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Alex: I’m “a couple of things”. Echo: I’m “got distracted”.

-------------------

*playing twister* Echo: Right hand red. Jo: *ends up on top of Alex* Alex: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Echo: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

-------------------

Jo: Where are my fucking keys? Alex: Jo, Echo is around, can you say it a little nicer? Jo: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

-------------------

Alex: A sprite is anything not static. Echo: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. Jo: A sprite is a fucking soda. Jo: You god damn geekass bastards.

---------------------

Jo: Echo! What did I tell you about lying? Echo, looking down: ...That it only works on Alex.

---------------------

Echo: What are you writing? Alex: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information. Jo, looking over Alex's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

--------------------

Echo: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?! Alex: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long line of violence. Echo: Oh... Jo, from across the room: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

-------------------

Alex: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Echo: Okay. *later* Jo: Echo! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Alex, whispering: Deny everything. Echo, loudly: That isn't a chair.

------------------

Jo: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one. Alex: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win! *later* Jo: They're probably just staring at my ass, aren't they. Echo: Yeah, probably.

-------------------

Echo: *speaking Spanish* Jo: I know, I know. Alex: You speak Spanish? Jo: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Echo speaks.

--------------------

Jo: Alex, what are you doing? Alex: Making chocolate pudding. Jo: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding? Alex: Because I've lost control of my life. Alex: Here's your pudding, Echo. Echo: Oh that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

-------------------

Alex: I know you love them. Echo: I am not in love with Jo! Alex, staring at Echo: I never said who... Echo: *realizes* Echo: Shit. Well, anyways-

-------------------

Echo: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Jo: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Echo: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Alex: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...

-------------------

Jo: Yo dumbass, get over here. Echo: Okay- Alex: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming! Echo, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

-------------------

Jo: But what about Alex? Echo: Don't worry about them. Echo: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

--------------------

Echo: I hope you have an explanation for this. Alex: We have three actually- Jo: Pick your favorite.

-------------------

Alex, to Echo: You know, Jo can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Alex: *blows airhorn at Jo* GET FUCKED!

-------------------

Echo & Alex: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire* Echo: We need an adult! Alex: Echo, you are an adult! Echo: We need an adultier adult! Get Jo!

-------------------

Jo: Are you a painting? Alex: What-? Jo: Because I want to pin you to a wall. Echo: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG THEM OR SOMETHING-

-------------------

Alex, bursting into the room: You two are having sex! Jo, not looking up from their book: Really? Echo, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

-------------------

Alex, excitedly: Heeyy!! Echo: Hey, someone's excited. Jo, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

-------------------

Echo: When Alex has daiquiris they get really into how beautiful they are. Alex: Hey, I dare you guys to dare us to make out. Jo: Hey Alex, you know that’s a mirror, right?

-------------------

@chadillacboseman @roofgeese

[omegangrins]

Chibnall, Children, Choice and Consequence

Allow me to introduce a companion piece to A Treatise on the Doctor:

It's pretty simple:

Chibnall knows what he's doing and is playing a long game to show how the Doctor needs to take more responsibility.

Let me start off with my favorite examples. That's right, plural.

Every single villain 13 faces is never defeated, merely pushed away from causing them any immediate problems. Tim Shaw being the prime example.

1&10. Seriously, Tim Shaw. Her plan was to use his own bombs on him and then teleport him off the planet. Even without Ranskoor Av Kolos, the Doctor should have thought to check in on him. Especially after The Ghost Monument showed the Stenza were a greater threat than she knew. She still hasn't even checked up on WHAT THE HELL THE STENZA ARE! They sound worse than Daleks but naw, let's go rain-bathing in the upper tropics of Canstano instead.

2. Ghost Monument. We saw the END of an interuniversal race. What the fuck is the beginning that got them there? Who is Illyn and how and why did he orchestrate a super race?

3. Krasko. Sent back in time. Really, Doc? Not gonna take a look at the device and see where Ryan sent the prick so you can double check that he's not gonna cause anymore damage?

4. President Trump analog. Ooooo, you looked at him menacingly, Doc, that'll show him!! Not like he's gonna KEEP DOING ILLEGAL SHIT LIKE THIS.

5. The Pting. She literally shunted it off ship to be dealt with by someone else BUT DOESN'T GO BACK TO BE THAT SOMEONE ELSE ONCE SHE HAS HER TARDIS. That's like leaving a living nuke floating around after sweeping it under the rug while you fly off to Paris.

6. The Pakistani-Indian conflict still happens and millions still die. Not her fault but still....

7. Kerblam. Sure, Charlie's terrorism was solved but not the underlying problem that led to it. Humans still can't work because corporations like profits over people.

8. Similar to the Punjab, how you gonna solve sexism, classism and all the -isms?

9. WHY WAS THE SOLITRACT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE??!! It's been around since before the universe. Why'd it decide to come back now? It's a whole universe trying to hug our universe to death. Maaaaaaybe we should check out why.

11. She's gets a pass on the Dalek. Fucking impossible to eradicate them.

12. The Master!!! Finally she checks up on something after the adventures... and it's horrible. With everything gone to shit in her absence. Seeing a pattern yet?

And Barton? And the Cassaven? They didn't disappear into smoke.

13. Multiple Earths being multiply fucked. Remember when I said the Doctor couldn't solve racism, classism, sexism, or any of the other -isms? Starting to look like she needs to TRY.

14. The Skithra FLY OFF after getting hit by a laser beam. That kind of thing tends to piss people off. Even if they're idiots using other's technology.

15. Jack. The Judoon. The Ruth Doctor. All things I'd start checking out if I had a time machine BUT

16. WE CAN'T cause the TARDIS emergency alert is going off and we need to hurry up and run and solve this problem before we run out of time in our TIME AND SPACE MACHINE. Leading to another problem the Doctor could help solve but won't. Plastic and over-consumption.

17. Oh yeah, let's trap two Eternals from another universe in the same place. There's NO WAY that could ever turn out bad.

18,19,20. And again. Cyberium. Pushed off Shelley onto herself and onto Ashad and onto The Master.

That's almost 20 "enemies" the Doctor still needs to deal with.

Oh, not to mention that they let UNIT go defunct because they didn't have the forethought to ask if they needed any money in their alien fighting budget. After asking for an office, a desk, and a job. Kinda funny that way, aren't they?

I hope by now you've gotten the idea that this is VERY deliberate. This is Chibnall laying down some very heavy pipe to smack the Doctor like a clothesline. There isn't a one of these situations that can't come around to bite her in the ass.

Barton, Roberts, Skithra. These are all very loose strands for a time traveller like the Doctor to get tripped up on. Chibnall's past episodes prove it. They're all about the Doctor learning how to take responsibility.

42: The Doctor almost gets Martha killed and almost gets himself killed trying to fix it.

The Hungry Earth: The Doctor (a thousand year old "adult") tells Elliot (a 10 year old kid) that "Sure it's totally fine to go get your headphones while we prepare for an approaching unknown alien force." And 11 rightfully gets his ass chewed for it by the child's mother when the kid goes missing because OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS, JACKASS!

Cold Blood: I could write an entire essay about the Doctor's guilt over the Silurian/Human conflicts they've witnessed, but I don't need to. Because every single Silurian centered episode written in the new era is from Chris Chibnall. And you can feel the sad knowledge of Classic Who spill through. He KNOWS how many times the Doctor has fucked up with the Silurians (about 8 times in television format. And it's rough everytime. Rough.) and he writes those episodes like an apology on behalf of the whole human race. And the Doctor. You know why people are put off by Warriors of the Deep? 5 releases a gas that melts the Silurians. And though it's cheesy, the idea and execution is still horrible.

Add to that if the Doctor hadn't stopped to check the crack, then Rory wouldn't have waited and been around to be shot then absorbed by the time crack.

Power of Three: An entire episode about how the Doctor has a problem slowing down and really taking account of the lives of their companions.

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship: The Doctor actually tries to be responsible and pick the right people for a job. For once. But gets angry when they realize it's too late and there's another bunch of Silurians they failed to save. Classic!

Like I said, if you can't see the pattern, you're not paying enough attention to your responsibilites.

Which leads me to the why.

When you fly around time and space for thousands of years, you develop a few duties of care along the way. In every situation, you're the oldest. Technically the only adult in terms of experience. You have a responsibility to act a little less rude and be a bit more aware than needing cue cards to tell you that you should be sad about things around you. And that's the purpose of 13. She's unlucky but learning. Like 12 telling himself something with his face he couldn't say out loud, 13's instincts are leading her to a new place for the Doctor: being a caring, responsible person. Not so much laughing hard or running fast, but being kind. It's the one thing they recognized as a problem in themselves when seeing 1. Being a Doctor is about being kinder than that. Just because you HAVE to saw someone's leg off, that doesn't mean you can't wait a little and comfort them before you do it.

You wanna know what gave me every faith in Chibnall showrunning Doctor Who? 13 staying for Grace's funeral.

Do you understand how unprecedented that is? This is the same person who never said Goodbye to Jo Grant as she got married and fucked off into the night. The same Doctor who said, "I don't do domestic.", did it with Rose a regeneration later, and then closed himself off to everyone but a married couple he felt guilty about who ended up birthing his wife. Have you any idea the number of funerals the Doctor should have the common decency to sit through? This many.

So for 13 to stay around for the death of a woman she has only just met and not only that, BUT call out Ryan's father for not doing the same, it shows tremendous character growth. It's taken millennia but they're still changing.

Something similar happens with Rosa and The Witchfinders. Realizing that there a lot of companions who have been in situations that are sometimes worse than aliens, but they still manage to make it through. So she needs to buck it up and persevere for everyone else.

That's where her anger comes from, and really it's one of my favorite traits on her. It reminds me of 7. Someone impossibly old and impossibly kind saying to hell with it and at least having some fun with the evils who drag us through the universe. And just like Cartmel planned for 7, 13's past will come to haunt her.

That's where children come in. Most of us are crying babies to the Doctor.

There's this thing you notice most in British shows about answering the question directly as asked. Someone says "Are you sure?", you answer "Sure". That's a direct acknowledgement that you heard the question, understood it, and processed it enough to respond in a manner directly correlating to the question asked. Yas and Graham got it and said "Sure" but Ryan missed it and said "Deffo". This is like Elliot with the headphones. The Doctor should have immediately been like, "Okay, Ryan, it's obvious that you're still dealing with the trauma of your grandmother's death and probably not processing things on a logical level. I said "Are you sure?" Not "Are you deffo?" Because we are most definitely not deffo, Ryan. Graham, you wanna help here?"

I'm being sarcastic for points sake but you understand the idea. The Doctor knows better and has a responsibility as such. She should've really sat down with Ryan and Graham and seen if there was a better way to process their grief.

Because I'm fairly certain that "Deffo" is gonna lead to Ryan's death and Graham's cancer resurging as time cancer (I don't know what time cancer is. I just know it's bad.)

And that is gonna piss Yas off. Which will give you all that character you think she's missing (she isn't. Her character is in her subtleties and silences.). That's WHY her character is a police officer (like how does no else see that the man who wrote Broadchurch wrote an inspector character companion?) Imagine you're Yaz and you see the Doctor flying around in a big, magic box that says POLICE. As a fellow officer, you're gonna expect some basic safety protocols.

Like do a background check on everyone flying in the TARDIS to know whether they're stable enough (mentally, physically, emotionally) for time and space travel. It's no picnic. These people are going to go through hell. A little vetting and planning like Time Heist or Dinosaurs on a Spaceship goes a long way.

Secondly, full fucking disclosure.

"Oh. I can't die because I change my body. Oh. I have arch enemies that will try to kill and torture us any chance they get. Oh. My home planet is full of the biggest assholes in the universe and I'm including my arch enemies."

Third, police like to do this thing called "check-ups" where they go back to the scene of the crime in order to see if there is any more information that can be gleaned which you might not notice when you are busy running around trying not to be killed... Like, the Doctor has the perfect machine to do this with, but nope. Adventure done, run to the next place!!

These are all things you'd expect any reasonable person to do and say when taking others flying off into time and space and "helping". Even if they are an idiot passing through and learning. Especially when you consider the Doctor is vastly older and more experienced than everyone they encounter. They SHOULD know better. And they've got the lifespan to slow down. It's not like they need to be in a hurry because they're going to die at any moment like humans. The Doctor could easily stay for tea and it would be less than a drop in their lifespan.

Now, as usually is the case when I make these theories, I have a parts 1,2,3,4 and 6. There's allways this 5th piece I miss but I manage to get at the end.

But the 6th piece is the Timeless Child. The Doctor isn't a Time Lord anymore. They're not beholden to those people and ideas anymore. Even moreso, those people basically raped her childhood for their own gain so it's not like you'd really listen to them and their "policy of non-intervention".

I'm sensing a coming Trial of a Time Lord season (even believing these two seasons are the opening statement and preliminary evidence of the trial itself) wherein the Doctor finally gets the turnaround 6 deserved. A Trial of the Time Lords, if you will.

"In all my travels through time and space I have battled against evil, against power-mad conspirators. I should have stayed here! The oldest civilization: decadent, degenerate and rotten to the core! Power mad conspirators? Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen — they're still in the nursery compared to us! Ten million years of absolute power: that's what it takes to be really corrupt!"

This is what it's all coming down to. Chibnall's takedown of the Time Lords. And The Master is going to play the most crucial role of all.

They're going to be revealed as an Ux alongside the Doctor and show how the only constants they have in this universe are each other and it's about damn time they work together and tell these high collars to eat Schitt while they explore every star and planet they can find.

Come on, the episode is called The Timeless "Children". If it was just the Doctor it'd be called "The Timeless Child". The Master says as much with the misdirect line, "built on the lie of the Timeless Child." since we see two kids playing in that flashback.

"Since always. Since the Cloister Wars, since the night he stole the moon and the president's wife, since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?"

Now we know which one was a lie, we know the Master HAS known the Doctor since they were a little girl. THAT little girl...

But this is all just speculation. It's not like Chris Chibnall could have been thinking about this for the past 40 years and was given a blank slate to do whatever he wanted for five years on his favorite TV show. If y'all want to think he took those reigns and is choosing to make things worse...

Well then you don't know much about responsibility.

I'll let the man himself tell you about it.

"Very early in my career,” says Chibnall, “someone told me that you learn more from a failure than you do from a success. And then I lived out that phrase for a year in Los Angeles. I learned that I would not work that way again or be put in that situation again.” The essential lesson was: “You either have to be in total control of a show or working with people who share your vision and will work with you to achieve it. Also, never work with 13 executive producers.

“Camelot was the classic case of too many cooks. It wasn’t a harmonious set-up and I think that does manifest itself on screen.

“I had a fantastic cast but you have to be free to tell the story you want to tell in the way that you want to tell it. What ended up on screen was not what I wanted and so it is a blemish on my CV.”

Credit to @thirteenthdoc

“You immortals - so entitled, so spoiled. You never clear up after yourselves and you always leave stuff lying around.” - Thirteenth Doctor in Can You Hear Me?

[docholligay]

False Reality

This is a really old fic, that Rachelle commissioned. It’s silly and goofy and fun, and I think everyone would love that right now! 2,500 words. 

Want to support my releases? Thank you! Patreon –  Ko-fi

Michiru sighed heavily and folded the map. “Rei, I don’t believe you have the slightest idea where you are going.”

Rei knit her eyebrows in annoyance. That Michiru was entirely right was beside the point--Rei did not appreciate the show of bad faith.

“How is there no cell service?” Rei looked at her phone, as if staring at it one last time would somehow magically make a cell tower appear.

This hadn’t been Rei’s idea, she would remind Michiru, once they’d had a chance to settle in at the hotel. Michiru’s family was the one with the membership to the ski resort, a place Rei had never even heard of, which made sense, seeing as it was on another continent and the memberships were invitation only, and tens of thousands of dollars a year besides. And Michiru was the one who had said they could simply drive, when the private airports nearby had been full.

Yes, this was certainly Michiru’s fault, and not Rei’s, no matter how many turns she had taken down side dirt roads into nowhere.

“I imagine there is no service due to a lack of cell towers.” Michiru looked out the window at the snowy plain, falling away into the distance as the car climbed. “Haruka will be worried.”

“Oh, who cares about Haruka, we’re going to freeze to death.” Rei kept driving, stubbornly, as if driving deeper into the dark would make something appear.

“A more peaceful end than I ever believed might have been possible for us.” Michiru looked at her watch.

And then, the miracle appeared. Rei rounded yet another corner, and there was a light. It was small, a yellow haze against the darkness, at the corner where a road led off the main path. The road was barely illuminated, but one barely squinted,

“See?” Rei gestured proudly, as if she had called it into being. “We’ll ask these people. It’s late, they'll probably let us stay the night.”

Michiru looked at the humming light, unimpressed. “Rei, you’ve just promised me I was going to freeze to death, if you swap it out for an axe murder I shan’t be pleased.”

“I don’t know why I try to talk to you when you’re always so morbid.” Rei rolled her eyes and jerked the steering wheel to the side, venturing down the dark road.

___

It was the sort of place that Michiru generally avoided, for a constellation of reasons particular to herself, but namely her aversion to being murdered in a common way. Rei ignored these protestations, however, and so she chose to simply stop offering them, as Rei trudged up the snowy stairs to the door.

She rapped hard, the response of the wood echoing into the cold night sky, and Michiru could not help but have her attention drawn upwards, following the curl of her breath on the air, staring into the jewelry-store case above her, fates twinkling with each facet of an individual life.

The door swung open, and there was a small redhead in a delicate pink dress, a glass of whiskey in her hand. A TV show boomed from the living room, pressing out into the night.

She looked in her glass, and then back at Michiru and Rei, and then back into her glass, and then back up at the girls once more.

A deep, loud woman’s voice came from the living room. “What the hell, Holligay?”

“I need to stop drinking.” The redhead turned called back into the living room. “Did you dose me with something?”

Michiru stepped forward and extended a hand. “My name is Michiru--”

“Kaioh.” She finished Michiru’s sentence. “I know.”

Michiru and Rei exchanged glances--Michiru’s family was very well known, so it wasn’t as if these things never happened, but out here, in the middle of the wild, it seemed odd. Another redhead, clad in a t-shirt with a bright yellow chicken on it, walked into the entryway.

The four of them all stared at each other for a moment.

She broke the silence, her eyes whirling like the chicken on her chest. “What.”

“Oh good,” the smaller redhead put her hand on her hip and took a swig from her glass, “we’re both hallucinating.” She extended a hand. “Doc.”

Michiru shook her hand firmly. “We seem to find ourselves lost, and in need of a place to bed down for the night. It would appear you’re some sort of...inn, I suppose?”

“Yeah, it’s a tax dodge.” Doc tucked her hair behind her ear, “But we’ve got rooms.”

Rei grabbed Michiru by the shoulder and hissed into her ear. “Why is that one staring at me?”

The woman stood there, hands clasped together, whimpering softly, eyes wide with reverence and wonder.

“Oh don’t mind her,” Doc waved and took a quilt out of the closet. “That’s Jet.” Doc turned to face them and sighed. “So...upstairs we have rooms, I guess. For you to sleep in. Since you’re definitely not hallucinations.”

Jet suddenly found her capacity for speech, and it was in scolding Doc. “Holligay, don't be rude.” She picked up pillows. “You can totally stay here. Why don’t you have a seat at, uh, the table?”

Doc nodded. “Yeah, sure, good as any place.” She ran up the stairs in her normal fashion, without pause or consideration, blankets in hand.

Michiru regarded Jet carefully, and then, perhaps against her own better judgement, took a seat at the table, Rei following her, though she was careful always to keep her eyes at every entrance and exit.

“Sooooo,” Jet drummed her fingers against the table, “How did you...get here?”

“We drove.” Rei looked at her skeptically. “What else are we supposed to do?”

“I mean…”

Doc skipped back down the stairs and landed on the hardwood floor with a satisfying thump, still staring at the women at the opposite end of the table.

Michiru cocked her head, studying them. “Is it truly so incredibly odd that someone might lose their way in this part of the country? I can’t imagine we have been the first, nor that we shall be the last.”

Jet and Doc looked at each other uneasily, and Doc raised her eyebrows at Jet, shrugging at her aggressively. Jet looked back over at the two girls in front of her, so much more fully realized than she ever thought they could be.

“I don’t know how to tell you this,” Jet shifted in her chair, “But I think we’re… I mean you can't…”

Doc took another slug of whiskey, “You’re not real.”

“Holligay.” Jet looked over at her, scolding.

“What? They aren’t.”  

“Oh, well then, more fool me, sitting here on this realm of existence.” Michiru put a hand to her cheek, feigning boredom.

“Well, I mean, if you want to be that way about it.” Doc walked over to a lawyer’s bookcase and lifted the lid, pulling out a DVD and setting it between them. “Behold! You’re gonna need a drink.” She walked into the kitchen, leaving them sitting with a Jet, who had been, briefly, wondering how to bring this up with tact, forgetting that the word itself had little meaning with regards to Doc’s general demeanor. Tact, she con

Michiru studied the DVD case carefully, trying to make sense of the information in front of her. Rei simply grabbed the case out of her hands and scowled.

“I don’t look like that.” She snapped at the case.

Michiru took it back from her. “Rei Hino, Sailor Mars, you’re correct Rei, this couldn’t possibly be you.”

“WELL IT’S NOT!” Rei crossed her arms and slumped back in the chair grumpily.

Michiru sat back in her chair, eyes drifting thoughtfully about the room, never quite landing on anything “Let us say,” she rubbed her finger and thumb together, “That I believe you--”

“Michiru.” Rei looked over at her incredulously.

“I’m simply entertaining an idea, Rei. We are princesses of somehow the both the past and future, tasked with an impossible mission and elemental powers, the time for my mind to live only in the common and explicable is long past,” she looked over to Jet, “ Let us say that. What sort of,” she waved her hand thoughtfully, “enlightenment might you be able to offer?”

“I mean, you die, so.” Doc came back into the room and set the glass of wine in from of Michiru.

“We die??” Rei was enraged at the mere suggestion that she might do anything but win the day, effortlessly.

Jet tried to rush in with a reassurance about Doc leaving out the very important fact of Rei Hino’s resurrection, which was a very Holligay thing to do, and rude besides, but Michiru stepped in before she could begin.

“Why, of course we do,” Michiru took a sip of Doc’s wine, and then looked at the glass, judgment in her eyes, and set it down on the table firmly. “The folly is more yours for imagining that we are meant to do anything else, Rei.”

“Okay, but Usagi--”

“Anything worth having must be paid for in blood.” She said simply, folding her hands in her lap.

Doc’s eyes were wide and sparkling. “I love you.”

Rei crossed her arms and grumbled. “Well maybe YOU die.”

The awkwardness sat between them all as Rei continued to glare at the DVD case, as if she were trying to set it on fire with her mind and might succeed.

“Michiru, judge Holligay’s food next!” Jet practically leapt across the table with excitement. She noticed Doc scowling at her. “What? It’s cooking. You like cooking. I’m HELPING.”

“‘Helping’,” Doc said pointedly. “You're as useless as tits on a boar hog.”

“You’re welcome!” Jet gave her a grin and Doc sighed, pushing herself away from the table. “Fine enough, I spose.” Her mind raced as she tried to imagine what she could possibly have in the freezer and pantry that might fit the bill.

She was drawing up a quick pastry crust when Jet walked into the kitchen, and leaned against the counter. “So how do we--”

“We don’t. This may shock you,” She put a floured covered hand on her hip and looked over at Jet, “But I don’t precisely have any kinda life experience to draw on, for this. You know everything I know.” She looked back to her pastry crust. “For once.” She fluted in the edge and moved back to the stove, pouring milk into a roux.

“What’s that?” She looked into the pan over Doc’s shoulder.

“It’ll be chicken pot pie. Or,” she looked up, trying to draw something classy out of the air, “poulet en croute, avec les carottes et du brocoli.  Or something.” She cracked some pepper into the pot.

“Okay enough with the French!”

“This is the first time I’ve used it.”

“Too many times, Holligay.”

“Will you go be entertaining!” She scolded Jet. “To our...weird hallucinatory guests.”

Jet walked out of the kitchen, huffing, and grabbed a bottle of rum as she went. She poured a tipple into a glass of coke, and looked up at Rei.

“Sooooo, why don’t you tell me about your friends?” She sat down across and offered the bottle of Bacardi silver.

Michiru raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

Rei, on the other hand, leaned forward explosively. “Why do you want to know? Are you a member of the Dark Kingdom? Well, I won’t tell you anything, Usagi may be a big crybaby but I--WE, HAVE TO PROTECT HER.”

“Stealth at its most satisfying.” Michiru glanced over at the offending wine once more.

“Yes tell me all about Usagi and how you have to protect Usagi I want to know everything do not leave ANYTHING out.” She folded her hands underneath her chin and grinned.

Rei opened her mouth, and Doc called from the kitchen. “In a technical sense, we already know, so!”

There is a certain quality of awkwardness that takes over a room when it is a assured that ne party has the upper hand. In normal times, one would assume it was the reincarnated beings of incredible power, but in this particular case, it seemed to be two women with a DVD.

Over a meal Michiru kindly described as ‘rustic,’ a difficult situation began to unfold in the two’s minds. When you dream of someone being real, you never consider the fullness of them, and you especially never imagine that what they actually think might be different from what you imagined. Jet found herself wanting to correct Rei in things she said and ways she moved, because that couldn’t possibly be right.

She looked over at Doc, who seemed to be having the same thought, that people are never as you imagine them to be, and the longer you had considered it, it seemed, the more you had created them entirely in your own mind, in all the small ways that it is to be human.

To consider them, and to consider how they thought of the other people in their lives: Doc and Michiru discussing the nature of their romantic relationships, Jet and Rei discussing the exact nature of the Inner Senshi’s friendship, and how it worked, or didn’t at times.

As is often the case, they came away with a mix of happiness and disappointment.

“I suppose, then, we ought to be off to bed.” Michiru glanced toward the stairs. “It is late, after all, and I believe we have all had an odd enough evening to last us for some time.”

Rei grabbed the DVD case one more time, as if she could will it to be something, but tossed it back onto the table.

Doc and Jet just looked at each other, saying nothing. What could be said?

___

When she rose, the sun had been up for several hours, even in the dead of winter, and she thumped her way down the stairs, to where Doc sat on the couch, drinking a cup of coffee, reading a book as if nothing had ever happened unusually in her entire life.

“Mornin’ sunshine.”

Jet paid her no mind, shuffling off toward the kitchen where a kettle of hot water waited, that Doc would claim later was almost certainly for something else, and not for Jet’s tea. She poured the water into her cup and stirred thoughtfully, adding entirely too much sugar. It was, on the whole, unlikely that BOTH she and Doc were hallucinating, particularly since it wasn’t the time of year for her to forage unknown items out of the forest, with a simple ‘eat it’ as identification.

She walked back into the living room and stood in front of Doc. “So last night, then?”

“Is a pact we take to the grave.” She looked over at Jet, setting down her book.“Unless you want to explain to Mike how two people from a 90s anime showed up here, stayed the night, and no Mike, I don’t need it to be seen, really, it happened.”

“I took a picture!” She dug her phone out of her jeans, and it shifted just slightly, jumping out of her hands and into Doc’s coffee, fizzling as if in celebration of a final fuck-you to Jet.

“WELP.”

“Yeah no, this is between us, then.”  

[pickalilywrites]

Hey I'm sorry to hear that you were sick and have lost your voice. It sucks losing it, doesn't it? I hope you get well soon! Anyway, I know you said you wanted some fluff, but I can't really think of anything fluffy for chapter 105, so could I possibly ask for something along the lines of Gabi and Falco sneaking onto the airship, only to find Zeke casually walking and talking with the SC?

I got my voice back in time for my big presentation! It went fabulously ^^ Thank you for the request! It was very fascinating for me to write in Gabi’s point of view for once :) 

Nothing Alike

Gabi Braun. Canonverse. 

2091 words. 

Shethinks it should feel the same every time. It should be like when she had blownup those enemy tanks on the battlefield. Seeing the bodies blown to pieces, thebodies of people who deserved to die, made her swell with pride when she knowstheir demise came at her hand. Why, then, does she not feel this way now as shestares at the fallen Eldian devil that she had shot down only moments before?The other soldiers rush at her, trying to restrain her, but she fights againstthem, tugging her arms and legs away from them because she’s desperate to seethe dying soldier’s last moments.

“Letgo of me! Let go!” Gabi growls, kicking and shoving the soldiers aside as bestas she can, but they grip her tightly by the wrist, preventing her to get anycloser to their fallen comrade. She tries to see past them as best as she canand is surprised to see them mourning.

Twosoldiers are wrapping bandages around the dying woman in a futile attempt tostop the bleeding. Two other men kneel close to her, their head in their handsbecause they know there is nothing they can do to save her. The other soldiershave a mixture of expressions on their faces – rage, grief, defeat – andsomehow, they’re familiar to her. It reminds her of when she had witnessed Udobeing trampled by a crowd and Zofia crushed by that boulder, their bodiesshattered like porcelain. She remembers the absolute rage and fury she had, theoverwhelming despair she had felt at seeing her friends dead and gone in theblink of an eye.

Exceptthis isn’t the same as Zofia and Udo, Gabi thinks bitterly. Unlike thismonster, Zofia and Udo didn’t deserve to die. These people…they were borndevils and should return to the hell which they came from.

“Gabi!Gabi!” Falco cries, clinging to her.

Shehad thought that his presence would be a burden to her, that he would gethimself killed, but she’s grateful that he had followed her after all. It givesher a chance to tear her eyes away from the dying woman and look at himinstead.

“We’llbe fine,” she whispers to him, pretending she’s braver than she actually is. Intruth, she’s terrified. For all the words about a glorious, blazing end shewould meet, this isn’t what she wanted. She wanted to battle, wanted to winvictory after victory, wanted to go out in a blaze of glory but not like this.And yet it seems that an early death is to be her fate, so she grits her teethand glares at the soldiers who stare back with cold fury in their eyes.

“Let’sjust throw them off the air ship,” a man says, grabbing onto Falco and Gabi’sheads roughly. He’s ready to drag them by the hair and throw them overboard,but he looks to the squad leader – the bearded man who had been mourning hisfellow soldier – for approval first. “That would take care of them.”

Gabiis ready to fight them all. If they were going to throw her off, she would makesure to drag them down with her, have their bones shatter alongside hers asthey hit the ground, but she doesn’t have to.

Thesquad leader faces the wall of the air ship. “If you throw the children totheir deaths…,” the man says quietly, “do you think this cycle of violence andmurder will end?”

There’ssomething in the way he speaks that sends chills up Gabi’s spine. It shakes herso much she doesn’t even struggle as they tie her up. She just kneels on theground, allowing them to bind her wrists together and her arms to her body.

Surprisingly,Falco speaks even though he’s still shaking of fright. “What are you going todo with us?” he asks, his voice trembling.

Anotherman, the man with the close-shaven head who had been one of the first to rushto the woman when she had first been shot, pulls them gently to their feet.Unlike the other soldiers, he doesn’t look angry, only tired and wary. “Ourleaders will decide what to do with you,” he tells them. He doesn’t sayanything more to them after that. Even as he led them up to air ship to meetthe Paradis leaders, he never spoke.

Gabican’t stand the silence that surrounds them. It disgusts her. How can theymourn for their own kind like she had mourned her friends? Her friends wereworthy of grief and sadness. Their loss was unnecessary, unfortunate. How darethese demons grieve for that woman in the same way? She wants to make it stop,this silence, because it makes no sense to her. They don’t deserve to weep, notwhen it is this hell is their own fault.

Asthey approach the door to where the Paradis leaders are, the bearded man – theone who had been against throwing them out of the air ship – gently prods Gabitowards the door. The soft touch confuses her, enrages her, because she doesn’tunderstand why he wouldn’t just shove her roughly towards the door even aftershe had killed his comrade. Why doesn’t he push her, shove her down, spit onher like everyone had in Liberio? Even after everything she had done, why is hetreating them like this?

“Don’ttouch me!” Gabi hisses, jerking herself away from the man. She’s reacting moreviolently than she should, but she doesn’t want to be in the same place asthese people anymore. She doesn’t want to be spared by them, these heartlessmonsters that the world hates. She wants to hate them, wants them to give hermore reasons to despise them, wants to further justify her loathing. “I’ll killyou! I swear it! I’ll make you die the most excruciating, painful death!”

“Gabi!”Falco whispers, alarmed at his friend’s words when they’re in no state to makesuch threats.

Theman doesn’t say anything to her, only raises an eyebrow and turns to the silentman who had been accompanying them. “She reminds you of him, doesn’t she,Connie? That suicidal bastard.” His tone is joking, but his expression is stillsomber.

Theman named Connie says nothing. It doesn’t even seem as if he heard the otherman speak. He simply looks ahead, waiting for the squad leader to open thedoor.

“I’mnothing like any of your people,”Gabi spits. She looks up at the man, expecting her words to infuriate him, buthe only gives her a tired and sympathetic look before opening the door,revealing the people inside.

Connieenters before them, announcing the death of the soldier – her name was Sasha,Gabi discovers – and two of the other Paradis soldiers leave almostimmediately, calling out the woman’s name as if screaming it loud enough willbring her back to life.

Therest remain inside, looking at the two children warily. Behind her, Falco makesa noise as if he’s seen something surprising, but Gabi ignores him. She scansthe room instead to search for the leader. She suspects it might be the soldierwith the eyepatch, the one who comes in after they’ve arrived to ask thebearded man who they are, but everyone is turning to the man sitting at theside of the room. His hair is shaggy, and he’s dressed in civilian clothesunlike the rest of the Paradis soldiers. He even has an Eldian band around hisarm, but she doesn’t recall ever seeing him in Liberio.  

“Areyou…Eren Jaeger?” she asks hesitantly. She had imagined that the oneresponsible for all of this would appear tougher, crueler. She only sees ahollow man in front of her, one that looks through her instead of at her. Hisvacant expression reminds her of the one she saw sometimes on her cousin andshe wonders how they can be so different and yet share the same expression.

Noneof the others answer her. Falco tries to whisper her name, call her back awayfrom the man, but she ignores him and steps forward.

Finally,the man sees her, but he doesn’t seem to have heard her question. He simplyasks, “Who is this?”

“That’sGabi,” a familiar voice replies. “And the boy beside her is Falco.”

It’sonly then that she realizes that Zeke is in the room with them. He had blendedin so seamlessly with the rest of the Paradis soldiers that she hadn’t evenseen him at first. The sight of him shocks her into silence, but Falco is theone to ask the question she so desperately wants to scream.

“Whatare you doing with these people?” Falco asks. He’s quiet, trembling, confused.In a way, Gabi wishes she could be just like him – weak, vulnerable, scared.“Mr. Zeke…we thought you died back there…Was this where you were the entiretime? With Eren Jaeger and the rest of the Paradis soldiers?”

“Yes,”the Commander simply says without hesitation.

Sheexpected him to deny it, say that he had been kidnapped just like they hadbeen, but to say that he’s working with them…that’s something she can’t understand.How can he work with these monsters who have brought nothing but pain and deathwith them? How can he be their ally when all of them – the Eldian warriors, theyoung cadets, Gabi and all her friends – have been trying to prove the worldthat they aren’t the monsters they’re believed to be.

“How…howcould you do this to us?” Gabi says in disbelief. He’s setting her back – all ofthem back – for what? What could have possibly made him side with the enemy?Hasn’t it been taught ever since they were young? The Paradis Eldians were crueland heartless, monsters that shouldn’t even exist. So why…?

“Because,”Zeke replies, “we are not at all that different from one another.”

Shedoesn’t want to hear these words, especially not from him. He should know whatthey’re like. They were so terrible that the whole world looked down on them.She was treated terribly just because she shared the same blood, even thoughshe had done none nothing.

“We’renot like them,” she whispers fiercely, but she’s more hesitant now. She doesn’tsay it with the same conviction she did only moments before.

“Areyou sure about that, Gabi?” Zeke asks her.

Sheopens her mouth to say that she’s sure, that she’s never been so sure ofanything in her life, but she remembers the soldiers mourning their fallen thesame way she had mourned for her friends. She remembers going into battle andlighting the enemy tanks on fire, bringing chaos to her foes in the same wayParadis did when their soldiers dropped down onto Liberio. She remembers thesame vacant expression that Eren Jaeger has right now, the same one she’s seenher cousin wear so many times.

Butit’s what she remembers last that frightens her the most. It’s the face of thewoman she had shot down, but in this particular memory she’s alive and sittingon the top of a building looking down on Gabi. Her gun is pointed at Gabi,ready to shoot. Just when Gabi thinks the woman will pull the trigger, the soldierlowers her weapon and retreats, allowing Gabi to go free.

Therealization hurts her head and she crumples to the floor, tears beginning toleak from her eyes. She wants to say that those are all just mistakes. Thatthey’re all monsters, that she isn’t a part of this, that she and the rest ofher friends never deserved any of this, but she can only sob because she’sbeginning to realize that none of that is true. If that’s all been a lie, then isthere anything in her life that had been true?

Shehears Falco in the distance calling her name. He’s kneeling down next to her,trying to get close even though his arms are still tied behind his back. Itdoesn’t matter that he can’t comfort her anyway. Nothing he can say can makeany of this go away.

Shethought that she wanted to be the one to end all of this. Now she only wantsthis all to end.