#i can't hurt her with the truth let me run away instead

[tardis--dreams]

Huge fan of yohan being threatening and intimidating and fearless when confronted with his enemies but running away from his housekeeper, nearly choking on his food, when being confronted about the fact he's eating meals prepared by other people but not by her

[veltana]

Shared desires

✦ Pairing: Bucky/Fem!Reader, Steve/Fem!Reader, brief Bucky/Steve

✦ Word count: ~4,4k

✦ Rating: Explicit

✦ Warnings/tags: Canon verse, Wife!Reader, Husband!Bucky, Best friend!Steve, cuckolding, degradation, praise, oral (fem receiving), spit sharing, manhandling, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie, angst, hurt/comfort, feels, eventual polyamory, pet names (doll, honey).

✦ Note: NERVOUS! I've never written for an event before, but it gave me the push I needed to finally finish this! For @the-slumberparty's Sundae Bar we have Chocolate (a secret revealed) together with Neopolitan (love triangle). Topped with Chocolate Syrup (established relationship) and one could argue a dash of Sprinkles (special event)(it sure is special for them 😂) As always, reblogs, comments, and asks are very welcome ❤️ Enjoy 😋

Masterlist | AO3

Steve’s mouth is hanging slightly open, cheeks red, and eyes wide. "Excuse me?" he sputters. "You're the only one I trust with this, if you don't feel comfortable I get it, but I thought I’d ask.” "But Buck…" Steve begins, momentarily lost for words, then says, "I don't want to cause a rift between you and your wife." "You wouldn't, we've talked it over so many times and honestly you're the only one she's okay with." "Me?" Bucky reaches over to place a hand on Steve's knee, squeezing it reassuringly. "You've been at our side since the beginning, she knows you, and knows you would never hurt us."

Then he leans back with a smirk. "And don't think I didn't see you looking at her last time we went out drinking." Steve flushes even more, looking away, mumbling, "Those pants should be illegal." Bucky laughs in response.

With a sigh, Steve looks at his best friend, his long lost brother, the person he went through hell to get back. If Bucky knew the truth he wouldn't be laughing. For a second Steve contemplates telling him but as he's done for years, he keeps his deepest secret inside and instead says. "Just let me think about it, okay? It doesn't mean it's a no but just… I need to think, okay?" "Take your time," Bucky reassures him.

***

Several hours later you're ordering take-out while waiting for Bucky to get home from the compound. You could cook but your body is jittery with nervous energy and it's hard to concentrate. Bucky asked Steve today and you have yet to learn how it went. Your husband could have texted you, but Bucky often forgets that texting exists.

When the key turns in the lock you can't keep your cool any longer. Running into the hallway just as Bucky kicks off his shoes you don't even pretend to be nonchalant about it. "Well?" you ask.

With a chuckle, Bucky envelopes you in a hug. To be in his arms is the best feeling in the world. Surrounded by his scent and his warmth, knowing you're safe and cared for. "He's going to think about it, didn't say no. He was just shocked." Pulling back you squeeze Bucky's waist. "I understand that. I was too when you first brought it up," you note.

Bucky starts backing you out of the hallway until your back meets a wall. "But now you can't stop thinking about it," his deep voice taunts, making you light up with desire. "Now you want to get fucked while I watch and get humiliated.” The sound coming from your throat makes it impossible for you to deny it.

***

A few weeks later, you’re sitting beside Bucky, across from Steve in your living room. The guys have beers and you have a glass of wine. Steve's cheeks have been pink since he stepped through the door and looked at you. "I understand if you think it's a little… odd," you say to him. "And even if you say yes now, you can always change your mind later."

Steve nods and takes a swing from the bottle. He's not going to get drunk but it eases the nerves. "So, I'll fuck you while Bucky watches?" "Yeah," you nod. Steve puts the bottle down, dragging a hand over his face. "God, I'm going to be honest, I'm scared it's going to fuck up our friendship Buck. What if we do this and it's not what you imagined?" Bucky nods, but his answer is sure when he responds. "Then we'll stop. And there are no hard feelings. The same goes for you, even if we're right in the middle of it and it starts to feel wrong, just say the word and it stops right away."

Steve doesn’t look convinced. Honestly, you're just glad he wanted to come over and discuss it. A little idea forms in your head. You put down the wine. "How about a trial run?" you suggest. Both men turn to look at you but you only keep your attention on Steve. "If you're okay with it, I'll sit on your lap. If that feels alright we can share a kiss while Bucky watches and if it feels wrong it doesn't have to go any further."

Steve thinks for a moment, then agrees. A small groan comes from Bucky, just the thought of it makes him aroused. You kiss him on the cheek before standing up and slowly walking over to Steve. His eyes follow your every move but he doesn’t look scared.

When you straddle him, his hands immediately come to rest on your hips but then it's as if he realizes what he's done and stiffens. "It's okay," you encourage him. "You can touch me." He relaxes minimally and you settle down completely. "You can stop anytime," you remind him as you cup his bearded face. His tongue comes out and wets his plush lips, nodding.

You let your thumbs run along his cheeks, never breaking eye contact and the moment feels so intimate. You’re unsure what to expect, but your pulse picks up as he becomes more confident, moving his hands up and down your sides. A finger slips in under your sweater and brushes your skin. It sends a shiver down your spine and a pleased whimper comes out of your throat. That seems to encourage him and the light touches turn heavier.

Carefully you lean forward, giving Steve time to stop or to pull away. The hesitation on his face from earlier has fled and instead, you see a spark of eagerness. Pressing your lips softly against his, it takes a second for him to return it.

Turns out Steve Rogers is a great kisser. After sliding your lips together he quickly turns bolder, opening your mouth with his and finding your tongue to play with. His touches get greedier too. When both his hands shift in under your sweater to feel your naked skin you whimper again, longing for more of it. Without noticing you��ve started moving, seeking friction for the throbbing between your legs.

"Oh, fuck yes," you hear Bucky grunt behind you. That makes Steve break the kiss, you meet his wild eyes, pupils blown wide from lust.

"Your husband is getting off on you grinding in my lap, honey." You’ve never heard his voice so deep before. "He has his hand inside his pants, stroking his pathetic little dick while you do your best to hump me.” "Fuckfuckfuck," you hear from Bucky. With a whine you press down hard, feeling that Steve is just as affected as you. With difficulty, you stop yourself from going to the floor and beg to suck his dick. Instead, the both of you continue with the heated make-out session, your hands now heavy on Steve’s body, wishing you had his skin against yours.

The sounds coming from Bucky on the couch grow more urgent and it turns you on to know he's getting off to you making out with Steve. It feels wrong and so right at the same time. Steve nips your lower lip before kissing down your neck, saying, "I can't wait to fuck that sweet cunt of yours." Both you and Bucky moan. "Gonna give you a night you've never had before and make sure every time your husband fucks you all you can think about is my dick."

That makes Bucky lose it, a small shout declaring his climax. Steve and you slow down the tempo of your kissing until it's just soft, barely there caresses. Though the need is alight in your body, coherent thoughts start to tumble back in and after a few minutes, you pull back from him. His lips are swollen, and you feel a tinge of reproach for getting carried away with him. Cupping his face once more you ask, "How are you feeling?" He gives a dry laugh, "It's a mix of shame and horniness."

When you frown he grabs your hands to remove them from his face, squeezing them before letting go. "It's alright, it felt good while it was happening,” he reassures you, before asking over your shoulder. “How about you Buck?" "That's the hardest I've ever come from jerking off in my life I think." Both Steve and you laugh as you collapse against his chest. Immediately he starts caressing your back. You get a familiar feeling in your chest, one you usually only get when Bucky holds you.

"How about you, doll?" Bucky asks. "I liked knowing I was doing something to get you off at the same time as it was kind of "wrong"." A moment later you get off Steve, and sit down on the couch beside Bucky again. Somehow it feels weird to be away from him but you chalk it up to the sexual desire still prominent in your body.

“How about another meeting in a week or so? Get everyone to think it through another round and then we can decide on a date and location?” Bucky suggests. You nod and Steve does too.

***

On a Friday, after numerous more talks to plan the evening and all of you getting your STD tests back clean, it's finally time. The excitement is palpable in the hotel room you decide to stay in.

At Steve and Bucky’s request, you're wearing a very tight dress and the smallest pieces of underwear known to man.

Steve is sitting at the foot of the bed, white shirt tucked into black slacks like he's heading out to dinner, not about to fuck his best friend's wife. Bucky is in jeans and one of his henleys, placing an armchair at the side of the bed.

Even though you know what is about to happen, you feel nervous, but also excited to fulfill your husband's kink. When you take your place in front of Steve, meeting his hungry eyes, there is a buzz in your body making you bite your lip.

"Ready?" Bucky asks and you both nod. The moment Bucky sits down you climb onto Steve's lap. The smooth material of his slacks caresses your inner thighs as you settle. Immediately his hands land at your waists and starts stroking your sides, down to your ass, squeezing and pressing you just a little bit closer. Those blue eyes are a storm, filled with lust and need. Your face probably mirrors his and a second later your lips are pressed together.

Both of you moan and Steve fists the fabric of the dress, threatening to tear it to shreds. A soft groan is heard, and both of you smile into the kiss. Steve pulls away, making you pout, but he tsks at you. "Just be happy that I'm the one kissing you and not the shitty husband you have.”

Something in you wants to defend Bucky because he's not a shitty husband. He's amazing in every way! But you know that this is what he wants, it's part of the game. Bucky gets off on Steve's degradation. You can't deny him that.

Then he's kissing you again, heavier than earlier. Your hands grab his head, messing up the semi-styled hair, anchoring you to him. On their own accord, your hips roll against Steve's crotch, pulling moans from the both of you.

A second later he has you flipped onto your back, smiling down deviously as you stare at him in shock. But when he presses his clothed cock to your soaked panties the shock is forgotten. Pleasure engulfs every sense of your being.

"There you go honey, let me take care of you, let me make you feel better than your husband ever could." With a whine you jerk against him, trying to find relief for the ache in your cunt, but instead, he pulls away, taking your panties with him. Without looking he throws them Bucky's way and another groan comes from him when he feels how wet they are. Steve gets off the bed and starts unbuttoning his shirt. "Show your husband, honey. Show him how fucking wet you are for me."

With a whimper, you spread your legs. The air feels cool against your heated flesh. You don't dare to look at Bucky but understand he sees what Steve wants him to when a broken moan can be heard through the room.

"Touch yourself," Steve commands, and with shaking fingers you find your entrance, letting one sink it into yourself, wondering if you've ever been this wet before.

Slowly you move it, all while watching Steve get undressed. He's in no hurry. With a thick voice, he says, "One more, but don't you dare come."

With stuttered breath push another finger in. The sound that fills the room is obscene but leaves no doubt about how horny you are. When Steve is down to his underwear he pulls the fingers from you, sucking them into his mouth, groaning at the taste. After licking them clean he releases them with a pop and smirks at you. Then he turns to Bucky and it's the first time you get a good look at him.

His hands are gripping the arms of the chair in a death grip, you're surprised his vibranium hand hasn't done more damage. He's taken off his henley and his cock is out, hard and leaking onto his abdomen. Glassy eyes follow Steve's movements. The blond grabs Bucky's face, forcing his mouth open and tilting his head back. Immediately Bucky sticks out his tongue and from above Steve lets his spit run down into Bucky's mouth.

Bucky's dick twitches and leaks more. "That's the only fucking taste you'll have of your wife tonight. Say thank you." Steve rumbles. As soon as Bucky has swallowed down the mix of your slick and Steve's spit he says "Thank you," in a voice hoarser than you've ever heard before.

Steve comes back to you, pulling your dress off and stepping out of his underwear before settling on the bed and pressing your legs up against your stomach. "Now I'm going to get a proper taste of that sweet cunt," he grins.

"Steve!" you cry and your hands immediately find his hair as he dives in. His tongue travels from your opening to your clit, over and over again, soaking you in his spit until you feel it running down your ass. He sucks and licks, alternating pressure, and speed to make sure you're never quite getting enough to make you come but to keep you constantly on edge. The moment he sinks two fingers into you, you arch off the bed and a high-pitched wail leaves your mouth.

You're at the brink of shattering. The current of the climax is cursing through your body. Incoherent babbling fills the room as you try to urge Steve to take pity on you. Luckily for you, he does and concentrates the movements of his tongue to your clit, as his fingers press against your G-spot. A surge of heat fills your core, making it almost unbearable before it takes you and you come with a shout.

Steve works you through it until you're twitching from oversensitivity, pressing on his forehead to get him to stop. "Almost pushed my fingers right out with that," he muses, twisting them, pumping slowly. "Bet your husband has never made you come so hard."

A groan from Bucky accompanies your whimper. "Now tell me what you need honey." "I need you inside me!" "But my fingers are already inside," Steve makes a point by pressing the two fingers inside against your G-spot, making you lose your train of thought for a second.

"I- I mean…" you try. "Yes?" "More, I need more." "Just say the words." "I need your cock inside me, Steve, please!"

Seconds after his fingers have left you, he flips you onto your stomach, then puts you on your hands and knees right at the edge of the bed, at an angle where Bucky can see you. You're trembling with anticipation of what's coming.

Steve caresses your ass and legs, lightly dragging his fingers over your swollen clit and soaked center. "I can't believe this pretty fucking cunt is wasted on your husband." "Please, Steve!" "I bet you're never this wet for him" "No!" "You want me to fuck your sweet cunt, honey?" "Yes!" "Make it drip with my cum?" "Please!" "Should I knock you up, right here in front of your husband?" "Fuck me! Please!" As you feel the warm head against your cunt your arms collapse, your cheek resting against the bed.

"I love it when you beg for me," his strained voice is deep as he pushes inside. Moans, whimpers, and wails fall from your lips once he starts moving. He's big, just like Bucky, and you love to feel so full. You push back as he thrusts forward, the sound of skin against skin filling the room.

Suddenly there is a hand on your neck, making you turn your head until you see Bucky at the edge of your vision. "Tell your husband how my cock feels!" Steve demands. "Ah! Bucky! It feels so good!"

Bucky is still not touching his cock, his mouth is slightly open, his whole face red as he watches you. "Yeah, doll, you like it?" "I do! I do!" "Is he big?" "Yes! I feel so full!" That makes Steve laugh. "All she wants is a big dick and all she got was you," Steve tells Bucky.

Bucky is about to burst with those words and the armchair creeks in his grip. Then Steve turns your head again so you can't see him anymore. Instead, you're focused on how he's fucking you rough and deep. "You're gripping me so tight honey, it's like you don't want to let me go." You answer with a strangled moan. "Yeah, you're too full of cock to talk, just be a good little wife and take what I give you."

And you do, body going almost boneless as Steve fucks you. Carefully another orgasm starts to build in your lower stomach, and soon it has you wiggling and whining, needing release.

Steve's hand finds your aching clit. "That's it," he groans. "I need you to come on my cock before I fill you up with my cum. Make sure you tell your husband whose dick it is you're coming on, honey. I want it seared into his mind. Every time he fucks you from now on all he's going to remember is how loud you screamed my name." Nodding helplessly you do as he says and as the dam breaks and pleasure rushes through you, you wail Steve's name.

A moment later the telltale sign of Steve's orgasm floods you and he groans your name. For a moment his hips are plastered to you, keeping everything inside. Then he pulls out and the cum runs down your legs. When he lets go of your hips you don't have the strength to keep yourself up anymore. Falling to the side you watch Steve walk over to Bucky, pulling him up and pushing him towards you. "Go fuck my cum back into your wife."

Bucky all but scrambles over to you, ridding himself of his pants in the process before carefully turning you over onto your back and sinking into you. You wrap your arms and legs around him, your lips finding his in a familiar dance.

"I won't last, doll," he confesses. "Don't need you to," you promise with a smile. A second later Bucky’s hips stutter, his orgasm causing him to cry out against your shoulder. It lasts longer than usual and brings a wide smile to your lips, knowing Bucky's fantasy is fulfilled.

When he's done he collapses on top of you, his weight heavy but welcoming, making you feel safe and loved. A moment later you look over at the armchair, expecting to find Steve, but he’s not there. His clothes are gone too and then you hear the door to the hotel room shut.

***

The anxiety in Bucky's chest grows for every dial tone that sounds and Steve doesn't pick up. The whole weekend he’s tried to get a hold of him but he hasn't answered his phone or been seen at the compound. Bucky sent hundreds of texts, all being delivered but none replied to. There is a hole in his chest where his best friend used to live and it feels like he's getting a glimpse into how it was for Steve to find him and lose him over and over again.

Bucky wanders into the exhibition, eyes searching for Steve. This is the last place on his list of where he could be. After this, he's out of ideas. Then Steve might as well have gone to outer space and Bucky shudders at the thought of searching aimlessly through the galaxies for him. But he would do it.

He breathes a sigh of relief when he spots a familiar back. As Bucky steps up beside him, Steve’s shoulders go stiff. "You left," Bucky states. "I know," Steve responds, looking down.

"Why? We agreed to talk afterward to make sure everyone was feeling okay. It's called aftercare for a reason." "I don't know, just seeing the two of you. You love each other so much." "We do. But we love you too."

Steve huffs at that and Bucky's eyebrows draw together. "Am I going to have to beat it out of you, punk?" "Maybe this conversation is better somewhere else," Steve suggests, glancing around. "How about we go to our place? She's worried sick about you." Steve nods and together they leave the museum.

***

You’re going to wear a hole into the floor with your endless pacing. Over and over again you replay the moments after hearing the door shut. The look on Bucky’s face. The scramble to find clothes and run after Steve. Not finding him anywhere. Both of you frantically calling him over and over again.

Then you hear Bucky's truck. And a motorcycle. Your bare feet start running before you know it and you fling the door open to see Steve get off his bike. A heartbeat later you're running across the lawn. He sees you and he’s confused, but when you jump into his arms he catches you without hesitation.

You want to scream and beat him but instead, you cling to him. Bucky says something but you can't hear it and then you feel Steve start heading towards the house.

"Doll, you have to let go," Bucky's soft voice says as Steve sits on the couch. In response, you shake your head like a petulant child. "Yes, you do, come on," It's a little sterner now. "Honey, I'm not disappearing again. I promise." Only then do you slide to the side so you're sitting next to Steve, Bucky on the other side of him.

"We're very sorry we got you into this Steve," Bucky begins right away. "It was supposed to be a fun night for all of us." Finding Steve’s hand you squeeze it to let him know you agree with what Bucky's saying. "We never wanted to hurt you," you whisper.

There is a long beat of silence and you're about to speak again but Steve says, "It's my fault that I wasn't honest with the two of you." His eyes are downcast and he brings your hand into his lap, then grabs Bucky's too. "I should have said something earlier but I was scared."

"Of what Stevie?" you ask softly. "We want you to be happy, you can tell us anything." Steve snorts, weaving all your fingers together. "Scared to tell my best friend and his lovely wife that I care for them more than I should. That when I can't sleep, I wish I could feel their warm bodies beside me. That every time I see them kiss, smile, and be utterly happy together I'm both jealous and delighted. I want the two of you to have a good life. But I also want to be a part of that life, more than just as a friend."

The confession knocks the air from your lungs and you share a look with Bucky. He speaks first. "Steve, I had no idea." "That's kind of the point." "And when I suggested that you join us…" Bucky trails off. "I saw it as the only opportunity to be with the two of you, even if it was just for one night." "And when we were done…" You try to think of it from Steve's perspective. "The way you love each other is so evident. I'll never be able to fit into that. Everything just felt wrong and that I was an intruder. So I left. I know I shouldn't have but I was so disgusted with myself I couldn't stand it."

"Oh Stevie," you lean into his side. Never in a million years could you have predicted this. "I understand if you're feeling like you never want to see me again and I’m truly sorry I hurt you.”

"Hey, Steve, listen." Bucky untangles your hands to grip Steve's face and turn it towards him. "We have talked about a lot of things throughout our marriage. We both agree that even if we're not actively looking for someone else, if someone would come along one day that we both feel would complete us, then we would pursue that person and ask if that's something they're interested in. Apparently, we've both been blind because that person has been right in front of us this whole time."

As soon as Bucky says the words you know they are true. If this weekend has proved anything it is that you and Bucky love Steve just as much as you love each other.

The look on Steve's face says he doesn't believe it. "You've already kissed my wife. Can I kiss you, Steve?"

The disbelief is still evident but he nods and Bucky slowly leans in. Steve's eyelids flutter shut the moment their lips meet and you watch as your husband and his best friend find something new in each other. Steve's free hand comes up and grips Bucky's neck, at the same time and he squeezes your hand. Their kiss is slow and sensual, containing emotions that have been locked away for years. It's beautiful to watch.

As they break apart a blush rises in Steve's cheeks and a smile cracks his face. Bucky grins back at him in answer. Everything isn't solved or worked out but now the ground under you feels more stable to stand on and you know that together with these two men there is nothing the world can't throw at you that you won't be able to handle.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

Maybe Overlord Husk has a moment of jealously? Like this pathetic version of himself, one that lost his Overlord title, all his money, his fucking casino, and his pride, has someone that loves him for being, well, himself. And hearing her say "I love you" so easily and truthfully to this skinny no-good asshole version of himself... makes him jealous, and maybe even a little sad? Why couldn't he have that?

A/n: ooh this made me sad 😩....so I gave it a happy ending.

He didn't know why it pissed him off so much, you should be giving him the attention. He was the Overlord, He had the money, the casino, he wasn't some fucking loser that lost his soul to some jackass so why in the hell did this piss him off so much?

You were barely paying attention to him! Instead you were giving it to that loser. A soft squeal left your lips feeling Husk nuzzle his nose into your neck. "You're wonderful, you know that right."

Smiling, you let your fingers glide down his cheek enjoying the softness of his fur beneath your finger tips. "I love you."

Humming, Husk glanced over at his other self doing his best to not scowl. Instead he gave you a soft smile hugging you close. "I love ya too darlin."

Overlord!Husk turned his head away from the sudden affection he was witnessing, why did that hurt so much to hear. Why did it fall so easily from your lips. Why couldn't he have that? Why couldn't he have you?

Titling your head to the side, you placed the drink down in front of the Overlord! "Don't worry, we're going to figure out how to get you home."

Scoffing, Overlord!Husk nearly downed the drink in front of him. "Well isn't that kind of you to say sweetheart." He couldn't stand seeing those big doe eyes looking up at him and that pretty little smile of yours.

He hated it.

"Is something wrong?"

Overlord!Husk bit his tongue then downed the rest of his drink. "I don't get sweetheart, what do you see in that nobody."

Bristling, you scowled then shook your head narrowing your eyes for a moment. "He's not a nobody, I love him. I love yo-....Husk more than anything." Sighing you moved to sit in the seat next to the Overlord! "I meet Husk after his soul got taken by Alastor....he might be a little rough around the edges but he also knows how to make me smile, I feel safe with him."

Overlord!Husk sighed, the bitter feeling in his chest only growing hearing how truthful you were being.But it didn't make him feel any better.

"Do you have anyone special?" You asked softly leaning in.

"No...I mean." Overlord!Husk frowned looking away from you. "I know someone but she keep's running from me."

Tilting your head to the side you placed your hand on top of his. "If it's me then just tell them how you feel alright..." leaning in close you then placed your lips against his cheek. "Because deep down, I know you're a softy."

Leaning in close, Overlord!Husk was happy to be back in his own time and he was going to take your advice. Grinning he pinned you, the other you in with his arms.

You looked so fucking adorable, and you didn't look scared....you weren't afraid of him.

"Can't run away now, huh, Sweetheart~"

[awkward-walking-potato]

Casual Affections

Wolverine x reader imagine

This is inspired by Casual by Chappell Roan.

It's hard being in love with a man when his heart is with another

Angsty - Sad ending

Please leave me your feedback 💖

Logan sat at the edge of the bed, his broad shoulders hunched, the weight of the world seemingly pressing down on him. The moonlight filtered through the blinds, casting shadows across his rugged features. You watched him from the bed, the sheets tangled around your legs, a hollow feeling settling in your chest.

"Why do you always leave like this?" you whispered, your voice barely audible over the steady hum of the city outside.

Logan sighed, his fingers running through his tousled hair. "You know why, darlin'."

Yes, you knew why. Jean Grey. The woman who had his heart, even in death. The woman you could never compare to, no matter how much you wished you could.

"It’s always about her," you said, trying to keep the bitterness from your voice. "Even when you're here with me, it's about her."

He turned to look at you, his eyes softening with a mix of regret and something deeper, something that might have been love if circumstances were different. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I never meant for this to hurt you."

You laughed, but it came out sounding more like a sob. "We both knew what this was, Logan. Casual, right? No strings, no expectations."

But it was a lie. At least for you. Somewhere along the line, you had fallen for him, hard and fast, and now the reality of your unrequited love was tearing you apart.

Logan stood up, pulling on his jeans and shirt with practiced ease. He always left before dawn, like a ghost fading into the early morning light. "You deserve better than this," he said, his voice rough with emotion. "Better than me."

"And what about you?" you challenged, sitting up and clutching the sheets to your chest. "Don't you deserve to be happy too?"

He paused, his back to you, muscles tensing under his shirt. "Happiness… it's not in the cards for me."

With that, he walked to the door, his footsteps heavy with the weight of unspoken words. You wanted to call out to him, to tell him to stay, to choose you. But the words stuck in your throat, a silent plea that would never be heard.

The door closed behind him, and you were alone again, the emptiness of the room mirroring the emptiness in your heart.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Logan continued to drift in and out of your life, a constant reminder of what you could never have. Each encounter left you more broken than the last, but you couldn't bring yourself to end it. You needed him, even if it was only for a few fleeting moments.

One night, as you lay together, you mustered the courage to ask the question that had been haunting you. "Do you still love her?"

Logan didn't answer right away. Instead, he stared up at the ceiling, his expression unreadable. Finally, he turned to you, his eyes reflecting the pain you both shared. "Yes," he admitted. "I'll always love her."

The truth cut deeper than any wound. You knew this was the end. There was no future for the two of you, no matter how much you wished otherwise.

"I can't do this anymore, Logan," you said, your voice trembling. "I can't keep pretending that this is enough."

He reached out to touch your cheek, his fingers gentle against your skin. "I understand," he said softly. "I'm sorry."

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you pulled away from him, the finality of your decision settling in. "Goodbye, Logan."

He nodded, his own eyes misty with unshed tears. "Goodbye, darlin'."

As he walked out of your life for the last time, you knew you had made the right choice, even if it shattered your heart in the process. Some loves were too powerful, too all-consuming to ever let go, and Logan's love for Jean was one of them.

You would move on, heal, and find someone who could love you fully, without the shadow of a lost love hanging over them. But a part of you would always carry the memory of Logan, the man who loved another, yet shared his broken heart with you, even if only for a little while.

[b0ng05]

Sorry - Sam Carpenter x Reader

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Prompt: After a nasty breakup, Sam can't help herself. She drives back to Y/n's apartment, debating if she should bother knocking.

Word Count: 1444

Also, Not Proofread 💅

Masterlist

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Sam sat in her car, eyes focused on the raindrops that cascade down her windshield. The air conditioning still running despite the miserable weather. The cold air painfully drying the tears that slipped from her tired dark brown eyes. The radio muted as Sam sat in silence, the only sounds were her shaky breaths and the dripping of rain on her car. Her hand shaking as it indecisively grips the door handle. Her body wanted her to get out, but her mind knew better. She was outside Y/n’s apartment.

The pair had broken up a week ago after a nasty argument that ended with Y/n storming out of Sam’s apartment. The argument was over something stupid, Y/n had wanted to go out with a few of her coworkers to the bar and Sam didn’t want Y/n to go. Due to the frat party incident with Tara, Sam didn’t particularly feel fond of the idea of her girlfriend going somewhere, with what to her are, strangers, and getting drunk. What Sam expected from the argument was for her girlfriend to give in and stay home. Instead, she got broken up with, Y/n stated she didn’t want to be with someone who couldn’t even trust her to go out with friends. The truth made Sam's heart ache. It was true, she had a tendency to push off Y/n's friends and not let her go out most nights. Sam had gotten used to sleeping every night with her girlfriend in her arms, without her, she hadn’t been getting much sleep. Sam wasn’t someone who gave in and admitted they were wrong easily, but after a week of sleepless nights, drinking and crying, she was about ready to kneel down and beg for forgiveness.

Sam was startled out of her conflicted haze when a knock on the glass window of the passenger door echoes out. She squinted to try and make out the face through the rain coated glass and the dark of the night. Her eyes widen as she realized who it was, the one woman she desperately wanted to see. Sam rolled down the window, rain pelting in at the seat as she does so. Awkwardly smiling at the woman outside the car as she wiped away her tears.

“Sam, unlock the door, I’m not standing in the damn rain.” Y/n huffs, shivering at the icy rain that doused her hoodie. Sam hastily nods as she clumsily pushes the button to unlock the doors. “Sorry,” Sam uttered, scratching the back of her neck as the woman climbs into the car. Once Y/n shuts the door behind her, Sam locks the doors once more. “What are you doing here, Sam?” Y/n asks, rolling up the window as she tries to cover herself from the rain that pelted through. Sam reaches over to turn the heat up to spare the poor woman from the cold, chewing her bottom lip as she tries to think of the words to explain her stalkerish actions. “I miss you… And I’m sorry. I'm an idiot.” Sam mumbles, her gaze flicking between Y/n and the raindrops of the windshield.

Y/n sighs, her hand reaching to hold Sam’s hand that rested in her lap. “I miss you too. But we always do this.” Y/n reaches over to turn Sam’s face to look at her. Their eyes meet in a loving but knowing stare. “I need to know now, Samantha. When are you gonna start trusting me? I mean, is this ever gonna change? Because you can’t expect me to never hang out with anyone besides you and your sister.” Y/n asks. Sam takes both of Y/n’s hands in hers, her thumbs softly tracing the backs of her hands.

“I do trust you. I promise, I swear I’m gonna change. I’m serious. I- I just, I get scared. You know what happened to me and Tara, I’m just scared one day you’re gonna go out, and Ghostface is gonna come back, and- what if I’m not there to save you? I couldn’t live with myself if me and my past is what gets you hurt. I just- I worry, baby.” Sam tears up once more, she kisses the back of Y/n’s hands.

“Sammy,” Y/n whispers, her tone sympathetic for the woman before her, her brows furrowed slightly. She moves over the middle console to sit in the woman’s lap, her arms wrapping around the back of Sam’s neck to pull her into a hug. Sam let her tears fall free as she clutches Y/n tight, her arms wrapped around the younger woman’s waist. “I’m not going anywhere. Nothing is going to happen to me, okay? If something did, you’d be the first person to know, okay?” Y/n tries to console, stroking the woman’s hair. She places gentle kisses on Sam’s forehead, letting the woman cry into her chest.

“Okay...I’m so sorry baby.” Sam sighs through a few teary breaths. Her fingers gently traced along Y/n’s spine. Y/n strokes Sam’s hair, holding her close as Sam tries to calm down.

“Shh it’s okay, honey,” Y/n whispers, gently pulling Sam’s face from her shoulder. Y/n caresses her cheeks as their eyes meet. Sam’s tired brown eyes, still a little teary and red. “Do you got an umbrella in here?” Y/n asks, glancing at the side doors of the car.

“No? Why?” Sam sniffles, confused at the woman’s question.

“Well I’m not letting my girlfriend sit in a cold car, crying. Come on, we’ll get dried off and go to bed, hm?” Y/n offers a small smile, kissing Sam’s cheek.

"Girlfriend?" Sam asks. Y/n nods, caressing her cheek. A smile grows on Sam’s face for the first time that week, she brings Y/n down for a kiss before opening the car door so Y/n can get out first. What neither of them had paid attention to was just how bad it started pouring. Y/n laughs as she jumps out, her feet padding back and forth on the parking lot as she tries to keep herself warm.

“Come on, Sammy.” Y/n squeals, pulling Sam from the car faster. Sam laughs, shutting the car door and locking it before both of them book it towards the front door of the apartment complex. Sam quickly whips open the door for Y/n, both of them pausing in the lobby of the complex, drenched by the unrelenting rain.

“It’s brutal out there,” Sam let’s out a breathless laugh as she takes Y/n’s hand in hers, both of them walking towards the elevator.

“You don’t say?” Y/n muses sarcastically, glancing at both of their outfits. Sam chuckles and nudges her shoulder as they get on the elevator, Y/n pressing the 3rd floor button.

“I do say so myself,” Sam quips, a grin on her face as she pulls Y/n into her arms. Y/n lets out a high pitched groan as Sam’s wet hoodie presses against the side of her face. “You’re lucky I love you.” Y/n smiles despite herself.

“I love you too, beautiful.” Sam smiles, pressing a kiss to Y/n’s forehead, her heart feeling complete again. But that feeling reminded her of her actions once more, though she had apologized already, a guilt still ate way.

“I’m sorry about our fight. It was stupid of me to get mad at you.” Sam admits, rubbing small circles on the woman’s back. Y/n smiles up at her and pokes her cheek. “Quit apologizing, you promised to make the efforts to ease up on the overprotectiveness. That’s all I needed, baby. And... I'm sorry too, I overreacted.”

“You and a good nap is all I need.” Sam smiles back lazily, her ears perking at the sound of the elevator ding. A glimmery of joy in her tired eyes, knowing she was so close to getting a comfort she so desperately missed. They exit the elevator, walking down the hall to Y/n’s apartment. Sam rests her chin on Y/n’s shoulder, her arms wrapped snuggly around the woman’s waist. Y/n’s hands worked to unlock the door, once it’s open, she takes Sam’s hand in hers walking them inside. Sam shuts the door behind her, double locking it. She followed Y/n back to her room, stripping off her wet clothes till she’s left in a t-shirt and boxers. Y/n changes into a drier set of pajamas before curling up under the covers, holding her arms outstretched for Sam to join her.

“I missed you so much, Y/n/n.” Sam smiles, laying on top of her. Her arms wrapping cozily around her waist, nuzzling her face into the crook of Y/n’s neck. “I missed you too, Sammy.” Y/n yawns, holding Sam close as the two cuddle. Sam's eyes flutter shut, finally reveling in the peaceful embrace of sleeping in her lover's arms.

[pickingupmymercedes]

I'm a sucker for angsty so if you could do something with “love?! you think i’m in love?”.

Thanks and congrats on your mark! 🥳🥰

Thank you lovely!!!

This one hit home, so hope you enjoy the angst (also, I got carried away and it almost turned into a one-shot on it's own)

“Love?! You think I’m in love?”

"You’re always running from me” Lewis finally said, his voice raspy. "It's like you don’t want me around."

Y/N scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm right here."

"But are you?" he countered, his eyes filled with a pleading Y/N found infuriating. "It feels like you're constantly checked out."

Y/N knew he was right, but admitting it aloud was something else. Lewis, with how open he’d been, threatened her walls she'd so carefully constructed around herself.

"Maybe I just need some space," she said finally, her voice laced with defiance.

Lewis threw his hands up in exasperation. " We haven’t seen each other in two weeks. How much more space do you need?"

"Emotional space!" she shot back, surprising even herself with the pleading in her voice. "I can't… I can't handle all this…" she gestured vaguely between them, unable to articulate what she was really feeling.

"All this what?" Lewis pressed, his voice gentle now, laced with a hint of desperation. "What are you so afraid of, Y/N?"

Afraid? Was she afraid? Afraid of the way her heart did a little skip whenever Lewis smiled at her? Afraid of the longing she felt when they were apart? Afraid of how she felt at home whenever he was around?

"I'm not afraid" she lied, her voice brittle.

Lewis's gaze softened, a hint of sadness replacing the frustration. "Then what is it, Y/N?"

She couldn't explain it. How could she articulate the fear of losing control, of being vulnerable, of letting someone see the mess beneath her carefully constructed facade?

"It's nothing," she finally mumbled, turning away from his searching gaze.

“I don’t buy it" he persisted, his voice laced with determination.

"It's you, okay?" the words tumbled out before she could stop them. "You and this… this intensity."

Lewis's eyes widened with shock. "Intensity?"

"Yes! This…" she continued, the word tasting bitter on her tongue. "I can't handle how much you… you care." The truth laid bare in the air.

A part of her expected Lewis to back away, to be intimidated by her emotional immaturity. But instead, he stepped closer, his eyes holding a gentle understanding.

"Is that why you push me away?" he asked, his voice soft.

Y/N swallowed hard, the knot in her throat tightening. "Maybe."

He reached out, his hand hovering hesitantly over hers before he turned his palm to her, an offer. "Y/N," he began, his voice a low murmur, "love isn't a burden. It's a gift."

Y/N recoiled from his touch, a scoff escaping her lips. "Love?!" she exclaimed; the word laced with disbelief. "You think I'm in love?"

The accusation hung in the air. The hurt in Lewis's eyes a mirror reflecting her own denial. Y/N knew she couldn't hide anymore, not from him, not from herself.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then, Lewis took a deep breath, his voice quiet when he spoke. "Maybe love is the wrong word" he admitted, his gaze holding a vulnerability that captivated her.

"But Y/N," he continued "whatever this is. It's real. And I'm not going to pretend it's not."

He took a step closer, his hand still reaching out to her. "You don't have to figure this out alone," he said gently. "We can do it together."

Y/N stared at his hand; the warmth of his gaze compelling. Denial was a comfortable cloak, but the longer she wore it, the more stifled she felt.

"I don't know what I want," she admitted finally, her voice barely a whisper.

Lewis's hand settled gently over hers as she accepted his touch. "That's okay," he murmured. "I'm not going anywhere." He squeezed her hand, his eyes holding a quiet determination. "Not until you tell me to."

The simple statement, devoid of pressure or expectation, cracked open the dam within her. Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision to his concerned gaze.

"Lewis," she started, her voice choked with emotion, "I…"

Taking a shaky breath, Y/N finally met his gaze and saw his comforting smile as he whispered “You don’t need to say anything. Not until you’re ready.”

The words wouldn't come, not yet. But maybe his love wasn't a burden, maybe it was a chance. A chance to be vulnerable, to explore the unknown, to face her fears with someone strong enough to be vulnerable for the both of them.

______________________________________________________________

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[poppy-metal]

With the love island!Patrick au just a sprinkling of angst for you: You're so sure that Patrick is going to bring someone else back from Casa Amor so you force yourself to explore other connections with her Casa boys even if your heart is not really in it because you don't want to look stupid standing there when Patrick walks in with a beautiful girl on his arm. When you decide to recouple with a Casa boy it's less about your connection to him and more about not being embarrassed by Patrick. But to everyone's surprise especially your own, he comes back to the Villa alone. You think you can see the exact moment his walls go back up. You're going to have to work twice as hard to get him back but now he single and the other girls definitely want their chance.

the way you're groveling immediately, too. like the casa man is tossed to the side like a piece of meat - you're coming to patrick the same night, nearly in his lap, arms hooked around his neck, telling him it meant nothing. "I was just scared you were gonna come back with someone else." you tell him. "I didn't want to look like a loser."

"so you made me the fucking loser?" his voice is cold. it reminds you of the patrick at the beginning. walls up - all smug grins and not being truthful. he doesn't push you off him but he's stiff. not returning any of your affection.

"I didn't mean too, I'm sorry." you tell him, genuinely upset and you try to get him to turn his head to look at you but he shakes you off. your eyes fill with tears and there's a whole ass camera crew filming this moment but you dont care, you just don't want to lose him. "he doesn't mean anything, patrick. I only want you -"

he rolls his eyes. being mean covers up the hurt. his pride is hurt, but more than that, his heart, which he feels fucking stupid for. he should have stuck to being the asshole. he doesn't like this feeling at all.

"whatever. Its done - I'm over it."

tears slide down your cheek and his hands twitch, he wants to wipe them away but he can't be soft with you. not ever again. he runs a hand through his hair instead, looking away from you.

"its not over." you tell him miserably. tug on his arm. "im sorry I let my trust issues get the best of me, I was stupid and wrong, but please don't throw away everything because I made a mistake - patrick -" you hiccup "- patrick please."

god, you're breaking his heart more. he genuinely feels it split in his chest, he thinks. feels his eyes burn, and he works his jaw back and forth to find that part of himself that's made of steel - grabs onto it - he pulls away from you. ignores your choked sob.

"you threw it away, not me." he tells you. his voice is soft, which just makes everything fucking worse. you'd take him yelling at you than this. "you really fucking hurt me." it's alot to admit that, but it's the truth. he doesn't think you understand just how much you've broken his trust. "I know I'm not perfect but I fucking tried with you. I didn't even fucking look at other girls - and what? you kissed him didn't you? outside of challenges."

your silence is answer enough and he nods. "thought so." he doesn't ask if you shared a bed. thinks he'll have to kill himself if he thinks about it. like genuinely drown himself in the pool. he stands and cracks his knuckles. scratches his jaw.

"I hope he makes you happy." he tells you. doesn't fucking mean it, but whatever. he wants the man to choke and die, really.

he leaves you crying alone on the terrace.

[httpsdana]

100-"I can't. I don't want to get hurt again." Please for Xavi 😭

Taking The Risk~Xavi Simons

*Pictures are from Pinterest*

enjoy <3

request from here

master list -> part 2

players/drivers i write for

100-"I can't. I don't want to get hurt again."

y/n had been friends with Xavi for a while, a friendship that was easy and natural at first. They’d laugh at each other’s jokes, spend hours talking about nothing and everything, and it was always fun. But somewhere along the way, the lines blurred. The way his hand would brush against hers, or how his eyes lingered on her a little longer, made her heart race. It terrified her. She could feel herself getting too close, letting her guard down in a way she hadn’t done in a long time.

It was happening again—the slow, inevitable fall.

It had been a while since she allowed herself to feel something for anyone, and now that it was happening, all she wanted to do was run. She knew what it was like to be hurt, to give herself over to someone only to have her heart shattered. It wasn’t something she was ready to experience again.

So, she began to pull away. She stopped replying to his messages as quickly, cancelled plans with vague excuses, and when she did see him, the air was heavy with the weight of the distance between you. Xavi noticed it. He always noticed everything when it came to her.

It wasn’t long before he called her out on it. One evening, after she canceled meeting up again, he showed up at her door, concern etched in his features.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” His voice was softer than she expected, but there was an edge to it, a hurt he was trying to hide.

y/n hesitated, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Nothing’s wrong, Xavi. I’ve just been... busy.” she said, her voice low and weak

He frowned, not buying it for a second. “Busy? Or avoiding me?” he questioned

She took a deep breath, trying to keep her walls intact. But the weight of his gaze made it impossible to lie any further. He deserved the truth, even if it scared her to admit it. “I just... I can’t.” she whispered

His brows furrowed, confusion clouding his expression. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t let myself get close to you. I just-I can't. I don't want to get hurt again” The words tumbled out before she could stop them, raw and vulnerable. She didn’t dare look at him, instead staring at the ground like it could somehow swallow the awkwardness.

He was silent for a moment, and she could feel him processing her words. Then, softly, he asked, “Who hurt you?”

y/n bit her lip, the memories of past heartbreaks flashing through her mind. The betrayal, the lies, the emptiness it left her with.

“It doesn’t matter who. I just... I can’t go through that again, Xavi. I don’t want to get hurt. Not by you.” she said, playing with her fingers to avoid his eyes

He stepped closer, his voice low and steady. “I would never hurt you. You know that, right?” he said softly

She finally met his eyes, and the sincerity there made her chest tighten. “You say that now. But what happens when things get hard? When it’s not easy anymore?” she asked, the vulnerability evident in her voice

Xavi shook his head, his gaze never leaving hers. “I’m not saying things will always be easy. But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

She wanted to believe him. She wanted to trust the promise in his words, but the fear was too strong, the scars too deep. “I don’t know if I can take that risk.” she shook her head

He took another step closer, so close now that she could feel the warmth of his presence, the steady calmness that was uniquely him.

“I like you, Y/N. I’ve liked you for a while now. And I’ve been waiting for the right moment to tell you. But I need you to meet me halfway. I need you to believe me when I say that I’m not like them.” he confessed, sounding genuine and sincere

Her breath hitched at his words, her heart pounding in her chest. She had never allowed herself to even think about him feeling the same way. But now, hearing him say it, hearing the quiet plea in his voice, it stirred something inside her.

“I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered, the fear still lingering.

He shook his head, his eyes softening. “You won’t lose me. You’ll never lose me.”

The vulnerability in his voice, in the way he looked at her, was her undoing. Slowly, she let herself soften, let the fear that had gripped her so tightly begin to loosen. She wanted to believe him, and maybe that was enough for now.

“I’m scared,” she admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” he replied gently. “And that’s okay. But I’m scared too. Scared of losing you before we even have a chance.”

y/n felt a tear slip down her cheek, quickly brushing it away, but Xavi was faster, his hand reaching out to gently wipe it away. The touch was soft, delicate, and it sent a warmth through her chest that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Just... give us a chance,” he said softly. “We don’t have to rush. But don’t shut me out. Please.”

She stared at him, heart pounding, every part of her torn between running and staying. But then she realized that maybe, just maybe, Xavi was worth the risk.

With a deep breath, she nodded. “Okay.”

The relief that washed over his face was immediate. He stepped even closer, wrapping his arms around her in a hug that felt like home. For the first time in a long time, she allowed herself to lean into it, to let the walls she’d built around her heart crumble just a little.

They didn’t know what the future held, but in that moment, with Xavi holding her close, she decided to take the risk.

[artofhazbinhotel]

Controversial opinion: I don't like Stolas and I don't want stolitz to become a relationship

Neither of them are 100% in the right, I know that, this isn't because I love Blitz, I don't really care, but Stolas has always got on my nerves. First he makes a sex deal with a guy while he can clearly see he's running for his life and not into it. The deal is the only way Blitz can do his job, that's sexual coercion! Don't believe me? Here's the definition:

"Sexual coercion is unwanted sexual activity that happens when you are pressured, tricked, threatened, or forced in a nonphysical way. Coercion can make you think you owe sex to someone. It might be from someone who has power over you, like a teacher, landlord, or a boss."

Stolas doesn't see it this way but in the beginning of course blitz did and why wouldn't he? It doesn't matter if it was consensual, Stolas has power over him so he'd assume he owes it, he even shows this mindset in full moon where he thinks Stolas is taking the book because he wasn't satisfying him.

Stolas was constantly calling him degrading names too "my little imp" -murder family "my little impish plaything" -truth seekers "itty bitty imps like yourself" -harvest festival(? Don't remember the title) "little creatures" -looloo land. The argument is he didn't mean it as an insult and that's true, he didn't even mean the deal as manipulation, but that doesn't change how it made blitz feel, blitz isn't the type to open up to someone and say 'hey that hurts my feelings ' if stolas really liked him he should have noticed the reactions. He hates it every time, pushing away, changing the subject, you can't be that stupid. You can say stolas was raised this way and yes he was but again how is that blitz's problem? He can be treated disrespectfully because stolas has a shitty parent? So did he.

Let's not forget how he acted at Ozzie's too, when he was called out for being on a date with an imp he hid behind his menu like blitz is an embarrassment, he publicly humiliated him instead of taking up for him, hence why Ozzie and fizz are so much better, they would never. And then Stolas is all sad like "why didn't he wanna cuddle? :(" idk maybe because you reinforced he's worthless in public

And then it's revealed they haven't been doing their deal for a while because stolas feels guilty and it's about time, he should have realized forcing someone to have sex with you to do their job is wrong immediately. When he tells blitz he does it in the worst way possible, he doesn't fully explain why he's taking the book first and that makes blitz panic, and then all the sudden he's confessing his love, what did he think would happen?

They have this huge argument where people say stolas has a trauma response from yelling even though he's never flinched at Stella and wasn't afraid of her, every time she yelled or threw something he just looked dead inside instead of frightened, that's a normal response too, what I'm saying is in that moment he wasn't afraid of blitz at all and even if he was how is that blitz's fault? It was an impulsive reaction not a planned thing to play on someone's trauma

"I think so highly of you, I didn't know you thought so low of me" Stolas says crying, how? And it's not thinking low, it's thinking you think so low, "treating me like one of your little imp servants" he was?? If someone is telling you you did something that hurt them you should apologize instead of making it about yourself, save your crying for when you apologize like "oh my God i did that? I'm so sorry, i didn't mean to, I don't look down on you I promise, I didn't realize " and boom we're slightly better!

"When have I ever looked down on you?" Everything before the deal break where you suddenly try to be better without apologizing and blitz doesn't understand, and the thing about blitz abandoning him with striker, he says blitz sounds like striker, don't do that wtf, you're making someone for guilty for taking their daughter to the doctor? Not everyone is a shitty dad who uses their child as an excuse to sexually and publicity flirt with the guy you're cheating on her mom with. You do not get to make him feel guilty for sending his work to do it while he comforts his scared child

Stolas refuses to acknowledge his own faults aside from the one with the deal, there's too much damage between to be a proper relationship, they shouldn't be endgame but you just know they will be somehow

[schemmentis]

La Cosa Nostra - Pt. 18

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17

Cowritten w/ @janeyseymour

Summary: The aftermath...

WC: 2.9k

Within minutes, there are first responders barreling into the house. Luca watches as they load all four of the Schemmentis into the ambulances. They pull out with their sirens blazing. If any of the four are still alive, Luca can’t say he thinks they’ll be alive much longer. He shot all of them point blank with no sort of struggle or fight- a clean shot. There’s almost no way of any sort of survival. This secret was going to die with him.

“Sir, what were you doing here?” one of the officers asks as she squats down to attempt to console the young man.

“I was just coming to visit my aunts and their daughters before they went off to school!” he cries out. They don’t know he’s lying- and his tears are real ones. He can’t believe he just did that. “I- I don’t know who would want to hurt them! Esp-“ he gasps for breath as he grapples with true fact that he hurt those two sweet girls who always run up to him for ‘Unca Luca hugs’ whenever they see him for Sunday family dinners. “Especially Cat and Rosie!”

They manage to coax the rest of the story out of him, and because he’s so clearly devastated, they don’t even suspect him as the one who took down the Schemmenti family.

But Luca knows the truth. As he climbs into his car and away from the scene, he calls Tommy. He wipes away his tears and sniffles away any emotions that are inside of his body. Almost like a switch, Luca flips back into the cold, stone hearted man that the mafia family knows.

“It’s done. Don’t ever tell me to do anything like that again,” he hisses into the phone. “Never again.”

You blink, or try to. Your eyes are heavy and there's a garish white light that makes you close your eyes once more. There's a dull, constant beep to your left. You want to say to whoever to shut it off but you can't bring your mouth to open. The best you get is a pitiful, quiet, groan.

“If you're still in there, Y/N, I suggest waking up a bit faster.” A voice drawls at your right. 

You blink again. This time your eyes open a bit more, enough to see more than just the damned fluorescent light. You at least get a ceiling tile or two before your eyes shut again. The beeping is pissing you off more than the voice had. Though you don't really know why just a voice made you tense. Or why tensing hurt so much. 

With an effort, and a series of blinks against the light of the room, you finally open your eyes completely. Your eyes roll to the left. A monitor is the source of the incessant beeps. It takes your mind a long moment to recognize that it's your pulse the beeps signify. Maybe you don't want that beeping turned off.

Your eyes slowly roll back to the ceiling, and the blinding light. They slide until you're looking to your right. Agent Danik sits in a chair, watching you with an expression you can't decipher. Or maybe you do want the beeping turned off. 

You try to ask what happened but you struggle harder with trying to speak. If getting your eyes open was difficult, speaking feels impossible right now.

Agent Danik leans forward in her chair. Elbows on knees. “You were shot.” She explains, almost softly, without you asking. “You were in critical condition for a while, don't push yourself too much.”

Your brow furrows. Shot? The last thing you remember was your eyes peeking open in the dark of your bedroom. Both your twins climbing into your bed. One of them actually climbed over you to get to Melissa. You can't remember which one. You couldn't possibly have been shot. Your home was safe. 

The memory hits you like a tidal wave. You try to quickly sit up but your body refuses to let you. Instead the pain jolts through your whole body. The beeping increases drastically at the side of your head in time with the racing of your heart. 

Danik is out of her seat, her hands gently on your shoulders to keep you from powering through the pain to get up. As if you could. Adrenaline might get you a ways but the amount of pain pulsing through you is still excruciating even with the pounding of blood through your veins.

“They're alright!” Danik says quickly, looking in your eyes that have been shifting wildly in your panic. She tries to get you to focus on her, to breathe. “Listen to me. Melissa, Cat, and Rosie are still alive, alright? They're alive. You need to breathe and calm down. Stop trying to get up, you're just going to make yourself worse.”

You sink back into the hospital mattress, doing your best to steady you're breathing. When Danik pulls her hands away from your shoulders, you grasp one as quickly as you can. Your eyes focused now, you look at the agent. You try to convey your questions in the look alone. Alive is good but how are they?

“They're still fighting.” Danik answers. In rare form she grips your hand back in a squeeze. You don't know when you found enough connection with the federal agent for there to be sympathy and compassion. Maybe getting shot does that. “You're the first one to wake up so it's hard to know where they're at. But they're alive, okay? They're alive. Considering the situation; that's a miracle itself.”

Your heart rate slows just slightly. They’re alive- but if you’re the first one…

“Congratulations though,” Danik tells you softly. “The four of you are legally dead… and out of the mafia and mob situation.”

You peel your eyes open again to look at her.

“Shaw is in Melissa’s room, and the girls are in the pediatric ICU with two other federal agents. I demanded that if and when they wake up, I am informed immediately so we can start the process of moving the four of you out of the city as quickly as possible.”

You manage to get two words out. “Mel’s room.”

Danik knows exactly what you want, and what you want is to be in the same room as your wife. She nods, eyes as soft as you’ve ever seen them. They wheel your bed and all of the equipment into her room. Shaw is sitting dutifully by Melissa’s side.  You’re close enough to the redhead that you can just barely reach your hand over and take hers in your own. And then you finally let your eyes close again, and you fall back to sleep.

Danik and Shaw glance to each other silently as they watch your heart rate monitors start to sync.

“I’ll give the two of them one thing… they sure do love each other,” Shaw mumbles. “And those girls.”

“I know we’ve been after them for quite some time, but… I hope they make it out of this okay,” Danik confides in her partner softly.

“Agent Danik getting soft,” Shaw teases and bumps the woman’s shoulder.

“And if you let anyone know, you’ll be the next one ending up in ICU care.”

They sit with the two of you in wait until either you have to be wheeled back to your room, Melissa wakes up, or one of the girls does. Neither of them wants to admit that death is still a very real possibility for all four of you though.

Melissa, it turns out, is the next to wake. Hers is a much less chaotic scene than yours. Perhaps aided by the fact that when she opens her eyes it's to see you in the bed next to hers with your hand lightly gripping her own. When she turns her head just enough to see the agents sat in chairs against the wall it takes a few blinks before her voice works. 

Shaw is nearly half out of his chair, uselessly asleep since his partner is still in the room with him. Not exactly required to be watching for any movement or sign of waking from Melissa under that circumstance. Danik sits next to him, tapping away on her phone. Melissa sees you in the tense set of the female agent's shoulders, the way she doesn't doubt the woman is tapping away at work emails. It reminds her how you were always head in your work, with the salon or otherwise. She sometimes had to remind you you were sitting at the dinner table and could relax; stop thinking about work altogether.

“The girls.” Melissa finally gets her voice to work. 

Danik glances up from her phone. “They're fighting. We don't know more yet.” She relays.

“The second it is safe to travel; I want us on the way out of Philly. The four of us.” Melissa demands. “I don't even care where.”

Danik offers a rare smile. “Trust me, Melissa. We want that even more than you do.”

“And Danik?” Your wife calls when the woman looks back down to her phone. She waits until the agent looks back up to her. “Youse better find whoever the hell did this.”

“Yes, Ma'am.” Danik teases lightly because they already have every intention of doing just that.

“‘M serious. I know a guy,” she hisses.

“Still as feisty as ever,” Danik chuckles quietly. “Even after being shot point blank in the chest.”

Melissa’s eyes widen.

“I have to say, your large chest size may have saved your life,” the agent tells her. “Shot in the chest, and both your girls and your wife were guarded with blankets and pillows.”

“The- the girls were shot?” Her breath catches in her throat.

The agents face falls. “Shit. Uh, yeah. They’re not out of the woods quite yet.”

Melissa’s heart rate picks up, and the monitor picks up on that. It’s getting faster and faster, and Danik rests a gentle hand on her shoulders in hopes of calming her like she did you.

“Take a breath,” Danik orders. “Can’t have you going into cardiac arrest now- not after you fought this hard.”

Melissa’s eyes drift to yours. She squeezes your hand softly.

“And… you don’t know any guys no more,” the head states. “You’re legally dead, and so is the rest of your family. No contact with anyone from this life- at least not until La Cosa Nostra falls and all of those who are out to get you are gone one way or another.”

“No one? Not even-“

“Not even your own mother.”

“What if something happens to her?”

“You can’t risk it,” Danik tells her seriously. “You were quite literally on death’s doorstep once. Are you really going to tempt fate again?”

As your wife goes to answer, Danik’s phone rings to life. Shaw jolts awake and falls to the floor at the loud sound.

“Danik.”

“The girls… the one is awake. The other, they fear she isn’t going to make it.”

“I'm on the way.” Danik rushes out, quickly hanging up. “Stay here” She says as she steps over Shaw. “If I see one of the two of them somehow walking around I'm going to blame you, Shaw.” She adds on her way out the door. 

The male agent picks himself up off the floor, claiming his chair once more. He clears his throat at Melissa looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “Please don't make me actually fight you to stay in bed.” He finally murmurs.

Melissa laughs despite it being hoarse and weak. “Only ‘cause I feel exactly like you'd imagine from being shot in the chest.” She relents. “You ever been? Shot?”

Shaw nods. “It hurts like a bitch, huh?”

“You could say that again.” Melissa sighs, protected from the knowledge of the twins’ conditions for the moment. Her eyes close again with the decision not to press her luck and try getting up. That and your hand in her own. 

“Hey, Shaw.” Melissa says after a long moment, without opening her eyes.

“Yes?”

“Ask her out already, hey? You stare at her like you're a puppy, y’know.” 

Danik hurries to the pediatric wing of the hospital. Not that she can do anything medically but this is her case, after all. With the two women fairing relatively well, at least for the moment, she figures it might be best to put her attention to their daughters for now.

She checks with the medical staff, verifying what she'd been told before. Then, she slips into another hospital room. She expects to be hearing a commotion of some sort. The begging for parents. But it’s quiet aside from the beeping of the monitors.

“Go sit with Shaw for a bit.” She tells the agent in the room before she pulls a chair up to the bedside. The little girl in the bed is definitely awake. Though an oxygen mask is fitted over her face. Little cheeks are wet with tears though she isn't crying anymore.

“Hey,” she greets softly. “You're Rosie aren't you?” she waits until she sees a little head nod. “I know it's got to be scary waking up somewhere you don't know all alone. And I'm sure you're hurting.” 

Another little nod, very quick this time, forces Danik to pause. She reaches to press the call button, in case the agent in before her hadn't to alert the medical team Rosie is awake. She won't let the little girl suffer any longer than she has to.

“I'm a police officer.” Danik says, simplifying her job for Rosie. “You know what that is, right?” Another small, more timid nod. Danik hesitates. Based on the way their lives were up until about yesterday, she isn't sure what the former Schemmentis taught their kids about law enforcement. 

“Did your moms teach you that police officers help keep you safe?” Another nod has Danik breathing a little easier. “Good. Because you are safe and so are your moms and your sister. I know it's scary but you're safe. I promise.”

Rosie chokes out a sob. “I want Cat.”

Danik mulls over in her head how she should handle this situation. “Cat is in another room, and she’s getting the care that she needs.” The woman only hopes that’s true. “Cat is fighting, just like you are.” She strokes a few stray tears away from her face.

The little girl just nods. Before Danik can say anything else, doctors come flooding into the room. The entire time that they tend to the little girl, Danik holds her hand. She gently runs her thumb over the little girl’s knuckles in hopes of soothing her even slightly.

Rosie is given pain medication, and she slips off to sleep mere minutes later. That leaves Danik to find her way into Cat’s room.

It’s much more solemn. The only sound in the room is the slow, yet steady, beep of the monitor that shows that Cat’s heart is still beating. But it’s slowing… only at forty beats per minute now- an alarmingly slow rate for a child her age.

Danik glances over to the agent who is stationed at the older twin’s bedside. The agent just gives her a slight shake of the head, and Danik can tell it’s wearing on this agent. The worst part of the job is having to watch a child pass… and it’s seeming that that’s where Cat’s fate is heading.

The head of this case shoos the agent out of the room before settling into the chair next to Cat’s bedside. She takes the little girl’s hand in her own, much like she had her sister. And then… for the first time in a long time, she bows her head and she prays. She prays for this little girl’s recovery. Cat shouldn't have to pay the price for what her mothers were involved in. Cat should have a long and prosperous life ahead of her- days frolicking through parks and giggling on the swings, days of cuddling with her mothers and feeling all of the love in the world. Cat should be given a second chance to live an innocent life.

It doesn’t quite register to the federal agent, but she’s crying as she prays. Tears slowly trickle down her face, and she doesn’t quite notice them until there’s a wet patch on her dark blue pants. After another long moment, the agent wipes her face with the hand not grasping Cat's smaller one. She stays with her head bent until she feels a bit more in control. She leans enough to kiss a little forehead. 

“That's from your moms and your sister.” Danik whispers, gently brushing back wisps of stray hairs. “They're fighting for you, like you are from them. You're safe now, Cat. Nothing like this will ever happen again. You just have to get better and then you and your family are going somewhere safe. Together.”

The agent stays at Cat’s bedside for a long time, unwilling to leave her alone. She doesn't know that she’ll pull through but she hopes she will. To see all those days she is entitled to. Especially now that there isn't a significant danger intrinsically tied to her family's lives.

[elenasalvatore94]

Crossing the Line

https://www.tumblr.com/elenasalvatore94/765184988932161536/cracks-in-the-armor-6?source=share

(previous one)

Hello, my dears! Sorry for my delay.

Chris sat on the edge of her couch, legs curled beneath her, staring at her phone silently. Franco's confession from days ago still echoed in her mind; no matter how much she tried to push it away, it lingered. The words kept repeating in her head: I'm in love with you.

It scared her. More than anything, it terrified her. She had built her life around control-of her career, her emotions, everything. And here was Franco, a whirlwind of intensity and youth, unraveling all of that. She wasn't supposed to feel this way, especially about someone younger. She had rules-boundaries.

But now those walls were crumbling, and Chris didn't know how to handle it.

As if on cue, her phone buzzed, the sound making her jump. She glanced at the screen and saw Franco's name, a tight knot forming in her stomach. He had been texting her every day, but she had been too afraid to respond. It wasn't that she didn't want to-it was that she didn't trust herself if she did. But tonight was different.

Franco: Can I see you? I know things have been weird, but I can't stop thinking about you.

Chris stared at the message for what felt like an eternity before her fingers moved on their own, typing a reply.

Chris: Come over.

The moment she hit send, a rush of anxiety flooded her system. What was she doing? This was a bad idea. But the second she heard the knock on her door twenty minutes later, her heart raced with anticipation.

Chris opened the door, and there he was. Franco stood in the doorway, his usual confident smirk nowhere to be found. He looked vulnerable like he had been waiting for her to pull him back in, and now that she had, he wasn't sure what to do. His green eyes locked onto hers, searching for something-reassurance, perhaps. Or maybe just the truth she wasn't ready to admit.

"Chris," Franco said softly, stepping inside.

She stepped back to let him in, the air between them thick with tension. They had never been like this before-unsure, hesitant. But everything had changed since that night, and they both knew it.

"I shouldn't have asked you to come," Chris muttered, running a hand through her hair as she paced around the room. "This is a bad idea."

Franco closed the door behind him, watching her with a furrowed brow. "If you didn't want me here, you wouldn't have texted."

She sighed, knowing he was right. "It's not that simple, Franco. You don't understand how complicated this is for me."

Franco moved closer, his presence drawing her in even when she wanted to push him away. "Then explain it to me. Because I don't see it as complicated. I see two people who care about each other. What's so wrong about that?"

Chris's breath hitched as he stopped right in front of her, so close she could feel the heat radiating from his body. She looked up at him, her walls crumbling further with every second that passed. "I'm terrified," she admitted, her voice trembling. "I've never let anyone in like this, and I'm scared I'm going to get hurt."

Franco reached out, gently taking her hand in his. His touch was soft but grounding. "You're not the only one who's scared, Chris. But you can't run from this forever."

She wanted to argue, to push him away again. But instead, she found herself leaning into him, resting her head against his chest. His arms wrapped around her, and for a brief moment, she felt safe.

"This is so messed up," she whispered, her voice muffled against his shirt.

Franco chuckled softly, the sound rumbling through his chest. "Maybe. But it's our mess."

They stood like that for what felt like an eternity, the world outside fading away. It was just the two of them, tangled in a web of confusion, desire, and something much deeper.

"I don't want to have sex," Chris suddenly blurted out, her voice shaky but firm. "Not like before. I can't keep pretending it's just physical."

Franco pulled back slightly, lifting her chin so she would look at him. His green eyes were intense, but there was no judgment in them-only understanding. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for."

But even as he said the words, the tension between them became impossible to ignore. It hung in the air, thick and heavy, the pull undeniable. Chris swallowed hard, knowing that no matter how much she tried to fight it, she was losing the battle against her own desires.

"I don't know how to stop," she whispered, her eyes locked on his.

Franco's gaze softened, and he leaned down, his lips barely brushing against hers. "Then don't," he whispered back, his breath warm against her skin.

And just like that, the floodgates opened.

Chris surged forward, crashing her lips against his in a kiss that was anything but gentle. It was raw, desperate, fueled by weeks of pent-up frustration and emotions they had both tried to ignore. Franco's hands gripped her waist, pulling her closer as the kiss deepened, their bodies pressing together with an urgency that neither could control.

Before she knew it, they were stumbling toward her bedroom, clothes being shed in the hallway as they went. It was frantic, messy, a tangle of limbs and heated kisses as they tumbled onto the bed.

But this time, it was different. This wasn't just sex. It wasn't the frantic, lust-fueled encounters they had shared before. This time, every touch was deliberate, every kiss filled with unspoken emotions they had both been too afraid to acknowledge.

Franco moved above her, his hands roaming over her skin with a tenderness that made her heart ache. His lips followed the path of his hands, brushing over her neck, her shoulders, her collarbone. And as he entered her, slow and steady, Chris felt something shift deep inside her-a realization she wasn't ready to face.

They moved together in perfect sync, their bodies finding a rhythm that was both familiar and new. And just when Chris thought she couldn't handle the intensity anymore, Franco leaned down, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered the words that made her heart stop.

"I love you," he breathed, his voice raw and full of emotion. "I love you, Chris."

The words sent a shiver down her spine, and for the first time, Chris didn't try to run from them. She didn't push him away. Instead, she let herself feel it-let herself be vulnerable, even if just for this moment.

And as they moved together, she knew that everything had changed. There was no going back from this.

[colins-bridgerton]

penelope & colin playlist

a year ago by james arthur

i wish it was a year ago i wish that i could hold you close now i'm driving past your house, i know the lights are on, you're not alone i wonder if you're making eyes i wonder if he loves you like the way you said that only i could do i wish that i could tell you that I miss you

ghost of you by seconds of summer

too young, too dumb to know things like love too young, too dumb to I drown it out like I always do dancing through our house with the ghost of you and i chase it down with a shot of truth that my feet don't dance like they did with you

far away by nickleback

i wanted you to stay 'cause i needed i need to hear you say that i love you i loved you all along and I forgive you for being away for far too long so keep breathing 'cause i'm not leaving you anymore believe it hold on to me, and never let me go

oceans by seafret

it feels like there's oceans between you and me once again we hide our emotions Under the surface and try to pretend but it feels like there's oceans between you and me i want you i want you and i always will it feels like there's oceans between you and me

give me a minute by the coronas

and i can't remember how we got so wrapped up in it hold on i'm not finished just give me a minute i'm not finished and if you don't mind i can live with it just a minute i'm not finished would you be so kind just to forgive it

can i be him by james arthur

i heard there was someone but i know he don't deserve you if you were mine i'd never let anyone hurt you no no I wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips It's all that I've been thinking about 'cause a light came on when i heard that song and i want you to sing it again i swear that every word you sing you wrote them for me like it was a private show

before by ulrik munther

before we burn each other up before we lose our minds before i'm not enough for you baby I need some time before you break my heart oh before we need to talk before it even starts i mean i'm sorry i didn't call

you're loosing me by taylor swift

how long could we be a sad song 'til we were too far gone to bring back to life? i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me i'm the best thing at this party (you're losin' me) andi wouldn't marry me either a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her and i'm fadin', thinkin' "do something, babe, say something" (say something) "lose something, babe, risk something" (you're losin' me) "choose something, babe, i got nothing" (i got nothing) "to believe, unless you're choosin' me"

deep end by birdy

i don't know if you mean everything to me and I wonder, can i give you what you need? don't want to find i've lost it all too scared to have no one to call so can we just pretend that we're not falling into the deep end?

love me or leave me by little mix

and love me baby please cause i could still be the only one you need the only one close enough to feel you breathe yeah I could still be that place where you run Instead of the one that you're running from, ooh you, can take this heart heal it or break it all apart no, this isn't fair love me or leave me here

cross your mind by calum scott

tell me, do i ever cross your mind? do i ever keep you up at night? thinking 'bout what coulda been if we did it all again i've been trying to keep an open door even though you've got the locks on yours tell me even after all of this time do i ever cross your mind like you cross mine? do i?

wrong direction by hailee steinfeld

loved me with your worst intentions didn't even stop to question every time you burned me down don't know how; for a moment it felt like heaven loved me with your worst intentions painted us a happy ending every time you burned me down don't know how; for a moment it felt like heaven and it's so gut-wrenchin' fallin' in the wrong direction

loves you like i coudn't do by dunacan laurence

i hope you find that someone who'll love you and it feels like all that you wanted thought it would last if we just kept running we played our hand, now we're left with nothing hope you find that someone who'll hold you In a way that i always wanted to a hundred shots, but we kept on missing there's no regrets, 'cause we tried, my love I hope you find that someone who loves you like i couldn't do

a little bit yours by jp saxe

you found someone new, before me and you didn't try nearly as hard and maybe that's the problem i don't know how to take it away from you without giving someone else my heart all I do Is get over you and i'm still so bad at it i let myself want you i let myself try i let myself fall back into your eyes i let myself want you i let myself hope i let myself feel things i know that you don't you're not mine anymore but I'm still a little bit yours

[marisaeon]

Hurt

Ada tending Leon's wounds early morning after a mission. (A.K.A the small aeon drabble I wrote half asleep last night)

●・○・●・○・●●・○・●・○・●●・○・●

A dark room, his bedroom to be exact. He sits there, shirtless and in some sort of shame as he stares at the wall. Silence filling the air with only the rummaging of packaging behind him on the bed now and again.

Ada sat behind him, running her hands around his fresh cuts and bruises he refused to properly tend himself the night before. He occasionally winces, her hand touching spots she shouldn't, making her stop in her tracks.

Now, she was rummaging through his medical kit, collecting all the materials to clean his wounds, and stitch them up to heal. She hasn't said anything to him the whole time since she's arrived. Her body language was loud, telling him to sit down and let her do the work. He understood, after years of this happening over and over again.

She took a rag soaked it in alcohol, some spilling onto her legs in the process. The overwhelming scent filled the air, and remained there. Ada pressed down on his wounds with the rag, making him groan and eventually move away. Leon thought he should've been used to this by now.

Ada lowered her hand, instead taking the other and pulling him back towards her.

"Relax.." She whispered to him. A reminder to just breathe. Her words lingered, replaying in his head as he sat still again.

She began again, cleaning away the blood and bacteria from his cuts. He winced, clenching his jaw trying to make it seem like it was no big deal.

Ada spoke again, still a whisper. "Why do I keep finding you like this? Hurt like this?"

Leon shut his eyes, trying to distract himself from the pain. "You just catch me at a bad time... I was going to patch them up later."

She put the rag aside, it's color changed with deep red splotches all over it. "You can't fool me, Kennedy. You can't see, nor reach your back to stitch anything up."

He couldn't respond to that, there was no arguments to be said. It was the truth, and in the end he always needed her.

Ada stood up from the bed, walking over to the light switch and turning it on. Both of them struggling to get used to the lighting change. She walked over to the med kit again and sterilized the needle she was going to be using on him.

Leon watched, eventually seeing bandaging on her bare leg that he didn't notice before.

"You didn't tell me.." He said, looking at the leg.

"It's nothing compared to you. I'll be fine without stitches."

"...If there's a place you can't bandage, let me do it." He insisted.

She smirked, sitting back down on the bed with the needle and thread in her hand. "You wish."

"Afraid I'll hurt you?" Leon said. And with that, the needle peirced through his skin as she began her work. He groaned, throwing his head down. Guess that was his answer.

Ada continued to stitch up all his wounds, him staying still the best he could. Putting a clear strip over each of them after she finished. She didn't say when she finished, just started packing back up the tools she used and brought them back into his bathroom.

Leon looked at his back in the mirror on the wall. It was full of all the stitching she just did, along with some bruises and scratches alongside it. He didn't realize how bad it was before.

Ada came back into the room, passing him to get something she dropped off the floor. He grabbed her arm gently, pulling her over in front of him. He stared up at her, trying to find some words to say. She kept eye contact, waiting for him to say it.

"Thank you, Ada."

She looked down, smiling. "Yeah, you're welcome."

[angelspitxx]

random dexter rambling.. i miss rita.

instead of her dying, dexter saves her in time. she doesn't remember much about the assault but she swears she saw him kill her attacker before she loses consciousness. she wakes up in the hospital, he's there by her side. his hands trembling as he holds hers, brows furrowed, unable to meet her eyes. he mumbles "im sorry" and they sit in silence. she's trying to remember what happened but it's a blur. debra comes in and checks on her, gives them the bad news that trinity is in the wind. only, he's not and dexter knows it. he's at the bottom of the ocean, rotting in a trash bag. he's grateful for that at least, but he feels so guilty for what almost happened to rita. weeks pass, things are *different* between them to say the least. strained, painful. almost as if they can't look at each other anymore. he tries to talk but the words won't come out.

one day, rita has a dream of the attack, and clearly sees dexter stab trinity. she decides to follow him one night. she isn't sure why she hasn't ever done this before, he's always out so late.. and she's never quite sure what he's really doing. she watches with wide eyes as she sees him heaving what looks like a body in his trunk. he drives to an abandoned looking house. the moment he's inside with the body she shuts off her vehicle and follows him. she's peeking through the windows but can't see anything, so she sneaks inside quietly.

it's then that she sees all the plastic sheeting, curiously, she peeks behind it. only to reveal dexter, in all his homicidal glory, shoving a knife into some random man she's never met. the look in his eyes terrifies her and she lets out a gasp, almost tripping over something and falling back. his head snaps up and he can't believe his eyes. before she even gets a chance to run he's grabbing her, covering her mouth so she can't scream.

"it isn't what you think i promise- i was only-"

he can't think of a reasonable excuse, instead he just starts begging her not to leave him. he doesn't even care if she turns him in, he can't kill her. a million thoughts are running through his head and the biggest one is: "i can't lose them. my family. my wife. i won't lose them."

she's crying, her tears running onto his hand. the way she's looking at him makes his chest ache. he isn't sure what that feeling is, maybe hurt?

he takes his hand away slowly, "please.. rita. i can explain."

she shakes her head and looks away from him. she can't speak. she can't move, too terrified of the man she thought she knew. the man she married, the man she loves. loved? she doesn't even know anymore. was everything a lie?

he begins kissing her tears, salty on his lips. his hands, always so gentle when they touch her. even now, when they are covered in someone's blood.

"please," he begs again, his voice desperate.

she's shaking against him and she rasps out, "you killed him.. didn't you? the.. man who hurt me? i saw you.."

he nods and swallows the lump in his throat, "yes.. and this man. he hurt other people too. i only kill the ones who deserve it. i swear, i can prove it to you."

as if that justified him, as if that would make her stay. she finally looks up at him, and he can't tell what she's thinking. she's searching for something, he thinks, in his eyes. deceit, truth. every moment that passes is like an eternity until finally she stops shaking and her eyes soften. it's all beginning to click for her.

"this is your addiction, isn't it?"

he wants to say yes, because for the longest time it had been.. but the fear he just felt when he thought he could lose her told him otherwise. he kissed her, expecting her to pull away in disgust. only she didn't, she let him melt against her. shedding the mask he had put on for his entire life. someone finally saw him.. and she didn't leave.

[aishangotome]

Elbert Greetia: Chapter 12

Chapter 11

CW: Hint of Child SA

♡———♡

Alfons: You can run away anytime, you know? Isn't it a bit harsh for your delicate heart, like glass?

Kate: ... No.

(I haven't heard what I want to know yet.)

I shake my head firmly and fix my gaze on Alfons.

His cheeks deepen with a smile.

Alfons: —Then, let me continue the story.

Alfons: After El's mother took her own life, a maid discovered the situation upon entering the room.

Alfons: El's father was deeply grieved.

Alfons: After all, the reason his beloved wife had taken her own life was because of her own son...

Alfons: ... or so he thought, but it was the child of another man, a man who had violated his beloved wife.

Alfons: The anguish he must have felt... It must have been an unimaginable hell of suffering.

*Back to Elbert's dream/past*

Maid: Aaaaaah!! Someone, anyone, come! Milady... Milady!!!

A maid's scream came from Mother's room -

The memories from those days after are terribly vague, even in my dreams.

I remember how Father, who had always been calm and kind, became visibly haggard.

He started looking at me with the same fear and disgust that Mother had.

Then, he painted over Mother's portrait, which he had loved so much, with black paint.

Whenever I was near, Father would break down in tears.

Then, he would shake his head frantically and scream.

Hugh: Aaagh!!

Elbert: Father, Father, are you alr–

Hugh: Don't... come near me...!!

Hugh: ... Please, stay away. When you're near, I feel like I'm losing my mind!!

The terrified look in my father's eyes, as if he were seeing a monster...

Every day, his screams would echo through the mansion, his throat raw from shouting whenever I approached.

-

Alfons: Maybe that was....

Alfons: El once told me it might be because of his ability to "bring back the saddest memories."

Alfons: El realized... much, much later, after joining Crown and learning about his own abilities...

Alfons: ...that he might have been showing his father the image of his mother's suicide over and over again.

(Does that mean he was unintentionally triggering those memories by stepping on his father's shadow...?)

It's not impossible. But still...

(Thinking about how much it must have hurt Elbert to learn the truth later...)

An unbearable sadness welled up inside me, choking my throat.

Alfons: El naturally began to avoid being seen by his father.

Alfons: Even as a child, he wanted to protect his father. He thought that if he didn't get close, his father wouldn't have to suffer anymore...

Alfons: ...It seems that the "comforting" by the butlers and maids began around that time.

Kate: ...!

My heart pounded with an unpleasant sound.

The thump-thump of my blood rushing through my veins overlapped with Alfons' voice.

Alfons: Perhaps, in the beginning, it really was... out of goodwill.

Alfons: They started gathering around El's bedside, who always slept alone.

Alfons: "You must be lonely, you must be sad. I will save you."

Alfons: With gentle smiles plastered on their faces, as if singing a lullaby–

*Back to Elbert's dream/past*

Whether it was a stormy night with the wind knocking against the window, or a quiet night with a beautiful moon, the shadows of several adults would stretch into my room every night.

Elbert: Stop...No...Don't touch me.

Jeffrey: Everyone wants to touch you because they love you. We want to love you, so we want to hold you.

Jeffrey stood behind the adults who were whispering "love" and touching me, looking at me the whole time.

Jeffrey: Instead of receiving love from your parents, we will give you our love.

Elbert: …… Love ……?

Jeffrey: Your beautiful, melancholic figure …… stirs the hearts of everyone in this mansion.

Jeffrey: Pitiful, beautiful …… Poor Lord Elbert.

(Is this... love?)

Discomfort ran through me, and fear washed over me.

But surely Jeffrey and the others who touched me didn't look at me like I was a caterpillar.

(Is it strange that I can't be happy about this?)

I didn't know. I just felt like I shouldn't resist.

With each passing day, the places they touched changed.

I felt sick and wanted to vomit, but gradually the fear and discomfort numbed.

The real me must be filthy. After all, I was born from sin.

But they say I'm beautiful. Beautiful, so they will love me.

(If I could become more beautiful, maybe Father would smile again.)

(Maybe he would forgive Mother and me.)

(Maybe I could stay by his side without making him sad.)

-

The moon waned, and in the abyssal darkness akin to the depths of despair, Alfons' eyes narrowed as if in reminiscence.

Alfons: The decisive incident occurred because of a certain doctor.

Alfons: That doctor had been visiting regularly to examine his father, who had grown haggard after the death of his mother.

Alfons: One day, he offered to examine him as well and invited him into his study...

Alfons: He tried to do the same thing to him that he had done to his mother.

Kate: .....

(That's too horrible...)

As if possessed by Elbert's emotions at that time, her fingertips trembled subtly.

Alfons: Sadly, beauty attracts disgusting desires to the point of nausea.

Alfons: I'll spare you the details of how I happened to be there, but...

Alfons: I met him right after he had plunged the scissors into the doctor's chest.

Alfons: Then, what do you think he said to me?

Kate: ......what.....?

Alfons: Covered in blood--

--"Am I beautiful now?"

Kate: Ah... you... what did you answer?

Alfons: I gave him "the words he was seeking." I'll leave the content to your imagination.

Alfons shrugged, his expression unchanged.

Alfons: Elbert ran to his father's room, wounded.

Alfons: A few minutes later, before his eyes, his father fired a gun... at his own head.

Kate: !? Why...?

Alfons: Well... that's beyond my knowledge.

Alfons: In the end, the beauty he perceived saved no one... that's what it seems.

Alfons: So, what do you think? This is his "sin."

The story ended abruptly, and I stared back at Alfons in shock.

Kate: I don't understand...

Alfons: Oh, I don't think there could be a more thorough explanation... what exactly is it?

Alfons' words unleashed a torrent of emotions I had been holding back.

Kate: Wh-what... is Lord Elbert's sin?

Kate: Where in all of this was Lord Elbert's sin...!?

When I raised my voice unintentionally, I heard a faint chuckle.

Alfons: Not being born "beautiful."

Kate: ....?

Alfons: That is what stole the love between his father and mother, destroyed their happiness...

Alfons: And made them so sad that they wished for death.

Kate: That's not... Lord Elbert's sin...!!

Alfons: Objective facts and subjective facts are often different.

Alfons: In fact, Elbert is repeating meaningless acts of atonement.

Alfons: He feels more guilty the happier he is, and continues to collect beautiful offerings to dedicate to people who are already dead.

Kate: ----!

Why Elbert is drawn to beautiful things.

Why he shows no interest in the things he collects.

Why he protected me from that horrifying scene on the night we barely met.

At this moment, the reasons that seemed understandable yet elusive connected in a single line.

(Oh my...)

*flashback*

Elbert: ––You don't have to look.

Elbert: ...Sad memories can easily kill you.

-

Kate: Why don't you resist... May I ask?

Elbert: ...........I'm used to it, and besides......

Elbert: If I move carelessly at that distance...I'll step on the shadows.

Elbert: I don't want to make them sad.

*flashback over*

Elbert hated making people sad.

(It's because his parents took their own lives out of sadness...)

(He was afraid of making even strangers like me experience that sadness.)

That must be nothing other than Elbert's kindness. And...

As if his past is still tormenting him, my heart is in turmoil.

Kate: Why... didn't anyone protect him?

Kate: Lord Elbert isn't just beautiful on the outside... he's a kind person with a beautiful heart.

Alfons: Because Elbert pushes away those who try to protect him.

Alfons: Elbert doesn't want it. For him, all the pain inflicted upon him is a punishment he must accept.

Kate: What about you? You're by his side...

Alfons: He keeps me around because I won't try to save or judge him.

Alfons: For him, I'm a convenient existence.

Alfons: And it's also convenient for me to be with him. Even if he has a slightly troublesome collecting habit, or rather, a self-harming habit.

His words, logical to the point of being hateful, corner me.

(It's not right to be angry at Alfons, it won't do any good...)

Even as I try to calm down, my confused mind can't seem to settle.

Alfons: As you said, Elbert is "kind."

Alfons: "Obtaining" you would give him the greatest pain.

Alfons: ...Just as he wishes.

(If I become Elbert's...)

What will he lose next in exchange for the pain he desires?

Alfons: That's why I told you not to get too involved... You're foolish.

Alfons: If you don't want to hurt Elbert, the best thing is to make him forget his attachment to you.

Alfons: I'll help you distance yourself.

After hearing all this, I can't possibly distance myself from Elbert now.

(Because... I...)

I find myself hopelessly...loving him, who is too kind.

Kate: Even if I distance myself because I don't want to hurt him...

Kate: Lord Elbert will just repeat the same thing and continue to get hurt, won't he?

Kate: I... don't want Lord Elbert to get hurt anymore.

Kate: I'll stay by his side.

Kate: I'll think about how to prevent Lord Elbert from getting hurt anymore...

Alfons: ...I had a rough idea when you came looking for me... is that so?

Alfons coughed softly in a low voice.

It sounded slightly sad, but when he looked up, Alfons had his usual dubious smile.

Alfons: ...Well, do as you please. However...

Alfons: Let me just say that you shouldn't underestimate his attachment to something that he "desires."

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 13

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[arliedraws]

Why Sirius ran away at sixteen...

Still avoiding responsibilities so I'm back with more headcanons (trust me, this account will go quiet in a few days when I'm back in the swing of school).

I'm entertaining the idea that Sirius didn't run away during the summer holidays before sixth year. Instead, it was during the winter holidays of his fifth year.

Personally, I think the Blacks would have been annoyed that Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor but I don't think they would consider him tainted at this point. "He's young, he's rebellious, but maybe it's just a phase. We hate the Potters but at least he's associating with a pureblood." Remember, he isn't blasted off the family tree when he's eleven; it takes until he's estranged himself for his mother to do it. Don't get me wrong -- they're not kind to him, and he's just as aggressive back. Yet I think the final straw for him comes that Christmas after he's turned sixteen.

So I imagine he's dragged to the extended Black family Christmas as usual, but now the family includes Bellatrix's husband's family and the Malfoys.

While the older adults at the family Christmas party are together and talking or starting to wind down, Bellatrix invites Sirius to hang with the young adults like Roldolphus, Rabastan, Narcissa, and Lucius (and Regulus can't come) in a private room or something. Everyone is at least five years older than Sirius so this should be a great honor for a sixteen-year-old. They invite him to drink, and they treat him like an adult. I think he'd be suspicious about it all, but they would include him in conversations that reeeeeally haven't veered towards blood supremacy yet, so he gets comfortable and even finds himself enjoying his time. Part of him is wary, but it's actually nice to be amongst intellectual equals.

When Sirius is comfortable, Bellatrix mentions she's bored, and they should have a dueling tournament. This is all fun and games at first. Sirius beats his opponent--maybe Rodolphus--while Bellatrix helps him by giving him pointers as he goes. When Sirius wins, Bellatrix and the others praise him. And all of this feels so good even though he doesn't want it to. He sinks into the feeling of acceptance from his family--something he's denied even to himself that he's wanted since he was sorted into Gryffindor.

Then, he duels Bellatrix. She is still giving him pointers as they duel, and Sirius, in the end, wins (did she let him win?). Bellatrix, proud, tells him to use the Cruciatus Curse on her. He refuses, and Bellatrix is, at first, kind and encouraging. "You're the strong one, Sirius. You can do this." When Sirius still refuses, she tries another tactic and starts to goad him, and she's taunting him with all of the things he hates about her, about the family, how his mother thinks he's a bloodtraitor, etc. This gets him, and he caves into his anger, the hurt he's felt for years, the rejection. He puts the Cruciatus on her, and he finds that it's satisfying, that her screams echo in the hole in his heart. He holds the curse for too long, and the others have to force him to stop.

Then Bellatrix laughs and says he's still a Black--he's just like her. Or maybe she says something (mirroring the dialogue in OotP) that suggests the Cruciatus only works if you mean it, if you want to cause pain. Anyway, she helps him understand that at his core, he is able to hurt people.

Terrified at his own capacity for extreme cruelty, Sirius runs away that night. He could be just like her; he can be as cruel as Bellatrix. This horrible truth disgusts and scares him. So he flees to the one person who can keep him from becoming the worst version of himself.

Anyway, if this has been pulled from a fic that I read years ago, I apologize. If not, someone who is better writing at trauma than I am should take a stab at this :)