#i can't help but cringe a lil when i think about it too hard

[punkshort]

i had an idea to add to the ‘str’ extras post. i came across an insta account that details “things ____ loves/hates” (i will link an example, credit to them for the idea), thought it could be an interesting, insightful look into sheriff!joel, of things you haven’t touched on but that makes up the wonderful man we have grown to love!

no rush if you decide to do it just a fun lil thing i thought of <3

https://www.instagram.com/p/C3BLN86OquE/?igsh=MWF0aG0ydzA4c3BnZg==

I like this idea! And I am very much looking for a distraction so I decided to have a little fun with it and make a photo collage to go along with my answers:

Likes:

Classic romance novels. I think he likes to keep it a secret but he has a soft spot for the classics (I thought wuthering heights was kind of apt... two people unable to be together, etc...)

Coffee. It's an obvious one, but maybe not so obvious is he prefers to share coffee with someone else. That's why he always found himself going to the diner, even before reader came on the scene. He just likes to be around others, even if it is his annoying younger brother.

Texas - duh. Sheriff Joel couldn't imagine living anywhere else, especially up north. He is a southern boy through and through.

Lazy mornings. Those are rare for him. Sarah tends to have a busy schedule, even on the weekends, so when he gets the chance to sleep in a little or just lounge around before having to get up, he really enjoys that (especially if reader is there, although he hasn't been able to have many mornings with her... yet 👀). To go along with this, he also really likes kissing. Just making out with no goal in mind. Slow, lazy licks and soft little noises under a warm blanket on a Sunday morning with nowhere to be? Perfection.

Old movies. Especially at the drive in. Something about the nostalgia of it really makes him happy. And that romantic side of him can't help himself. It's usually his go-to first date idea.

Football. As Sarah mentioned once before, he really enjoys American football and annoys her with it. Sarah really looks forward to the spring and summer because there's no football on TV and she doesn't have to listen to him yelling in the living room every ten minutes.

His favorite pair of jeans. He's had them for years, the knees are getting worn out but he loves them and won't part with them.

Sarah - obviously. Even though she keeps him on his toes and super busy all the time, he would drop anything for her. He is always struggling to balance work and home and he tends to stretch himself too thin and not take enough time for himself, but he tries to make every single soccer game and school event because he loves seeing how talented Sarah is.

Hiking, specifically with Sarah. It's something they like to do in the summer, at least one weekend a month. Occasionally he can convince her to camp out overnight, but she hates sleeping in a tent so it's a hard sell.

Dislikes:

People who don't use their seatbelts. It's so easy. Just do it. He's seen too many accidents in his line of work and he hates when people don't use them.

Snakes. Sarah never lets him forget about the time when he was nine years old and he went to put on his boot to go play outside and was surprised to find a snake sleeping inside. To this day, he can't put his shoes on without checking them first.

Oysters. It's a texture thing, he thinks they're gross. He doesn't care they are an aphrodisiac, he doesn't need it 😉

Line dancing. Even though he's from Texas, it makes him cringe every time he sees people doing it.

Snow/being cold. He prefers the heat. It's what he's used to and he doesn't like shoveling snow on the rare occasion Texas gets any accumulation.

Lip Gloss. He likes kissing. A lot. And he thinks lip gloss is too sticky.

Wool Sweaters. Because he runs hot as it is and wool just makes it worse. Plus, it's itchy.

People who talk about themselves too much. Especially women he's been on dates with. He likes learning about other people, but when it becomes apparent they have no interest in learning about him, it's a turn off.

Golf. Because all my Joels hate golf. For no particular reason at all.

Thank you so much for this ask! It was a lot of fun putting together.

[tokillamockingbird427]

Random assorted Ghosts headcanons

Keegan has an intense affinity for chocolate milk. Man enjoys it so much he'd probably drink it with every meal and fill his water bottle with it if Elias didn't interfere. (Elias has caught him chugging from the jug once. It was like three am and Keegan was too tired to get a cup. It's his personal jug so no harm done, but Elias just... he can't deal with it. Cardinal sin.)

Speaking of Elias, man knows the "youngin" lingo and uses it just to dick with Hesh and Logan. Likes dropping "You're cringe." at random times just to see the his sons crumble like he verbally shot them.

On the other hand, Merrick knows the lingo, but doesn't understand how to use it. He's right like once a day with it and the splash effect from it is marvelous. (Calls Hesh cringe when Hesh complains that he's too nervous to ask out this chick he's been talking to and Logan laughs so hard he genuinely can't breathe for a few minutes.)

You know those little mini skateboard toys? Kick has a collection of those, and he's entirely too good at doing tricks with them. Hesh thinks it's so fucking cool (He likes skateboards.) but sucks at tricks. (Trains in secret to try and impress Kick.)

Logan carries a tablet on him 24/7 so he can type shit out for people who don't know ASL, but also because he has a sound effects board and likes dropping random vine booms in conversations. "Me and Kick were hanging out the other day an-" *Vine boom* "Logan I am gonna take that damn thing away from you so help me-" *VINE BOOM* "LOGAN!" He will also walk past people and do a lil fart noise, it's hilarious cus he does to to Merrick the most and it makes him so mad.

Cuter hc. Elias asked Logan what he wanted to be when he got older (When he was like seven.) and Logan answered "David!" (I am a big fat sucker for the whole "Logan looks up to Hesh more than anyone else." headcanon okay? They're so cute.)

Hesh and Logan doing dumb sibling shit like "Beating the everloving fuck" out of each other worries Merrick because he didn't have siblings, so he always has to ask Elias is he should interfere. Elias's #1 answer is always "When one of them starts crying." because he knows his kids are tough shit. (And also that they won't hurt each other on purpose.)

Logan and Keegan both have such intense sweet tooths that they can and will just eat straight sugar out of the bag if there isn't any candy or other sweets at their post. Elias keeps an emergency jar of candy... which is also just his personal stash so he doesn't have to share with the fiends.

Hesh Logan and Riley are literally inseparable. It's ridiculous. If for whatever reason one of them is actually separated from the others, it's probably for a genuinely bad reason. (They had a fight, one of them got hurt, one of them got lost, etc.)

Despite Riley being younger than Logan, they consider him the "Middle sibling." Logan is always "little brother" and Hesh is always "big brother" that way.

Logan and Hesh constantly steal each others clothes to the point where their wardrobes have just fused. They can't even remember what piece of clothing originally belonged to who. The sizing can clue them in, but also: Logan likes baggy clothes and Hesh likes fitted. So the mixup intensifies. They also just steal their dads stuff from time to time. Mainly hoodies. Irritates the shit out of Elias. (Not really.) Uses his lack of hoodies to bitch about the weather 24/7.

Riley leaves dog toys scattered all over the ghosts current post and there's always a little "easter egg hunt" when they're moving places because of it.

[indigosabyss]

Hey there! If you're taking requests for fanfics, would one of Gwen Poole be possible? I'm not sure how it would work, but I imagined Gwen being Pinocchio and Kamala was her tiny conscience. I also imagined Gwen's nose growing ability being able to help both of them. Gwen for reaching far off items or pressing buttons, and Kamala for a bridge/platform to walk on. I know this is really bizarre and out there, but I just thought would be adorable too. Is this possible?

OOH DEF DEF DEF. Here's a lil something i came up for this idea:

The door to the cage slammed shut, making Gwen cringe. Even Kamala ducked underneath Gwen's horse-hair locks in fright. There was a tense second of silence. And then...

"We need to get out of here." Gwen decided.

"Are you crazy? MODOK's going to catch you again." Kamala chided, "We know this already, Gwen."

"Well then, we'll just have to be more sneaky about it." The puppet hero told her conscience, who simply sighed. There was not enough common sense in the world to stop Gwen when she was on a roll.

"Alright, let's go about this logically." She decided, "We're locked in a cage. You can't get out. MODOK hung the key all the way over there, so we can't get to it. Hence, we are stuck."

"We're not stuck. Only I'm stuck. You can slip through the bars easy!"

"And reach the hook six feet off the ground, how?" Kamala asked, jumping up and down to emphasize how she was five inches tall.

Gwen took a deep breath, screwing up her wooden features as best as she could. Oh no. She only made that face when she was thinking very hard. And that was when she had the worst ideas.

"I think you're very scary, Kamala!" The puppet girl burst out. Her nose jutted forward.

"You don't think I'm scary?" Kamala asked, affronted.

"Listen, you're the size of Thumbelina, it's very hard- I mean, I'm trying to lie, dammit! I think the Discowing outfit is hideous!" Her nose became longer and longer with every false admission, until finally, it stretched all the way across the room and reached the wall. The perfect bridge for Kamala to climb over and grab the key.

"Clever." She had to begrudgingly admit.

"Please, don't hold back your praise."

"... But I feel like I have to point out that the hook the key is hanging on is three feet to the right of where your nose is pointed and we needed you to bring the nose out from a different gap if I was going to jump it."

"God fucking dammit."

"You're a week old!!! You shouldn't swear!!"

~~~

hehe tried my best :) was that good? or do you want more? This was really cool to think about, so I hope I managed to get it right!

[sidsinning]

This is not going to be an extremely thorough essay about why my opinions of mlb are completely right from every angle you could ever think of its 10 am and I'm running on 0 hrs

This is just what I've been thinking about the show

I feel like every time the show defies a gender stereotype it doubles down on like 5 more at the same time

VERY unpopular opinion: sometimes the stalker trope can be funny but I feel like the creators don't do it well which is why everyone shits on Mari for it so hard + they overdo it

I really don't think Mari's shtick is actually making kids think diving into trashcans to spy on your crush is ok to do- everything she does is cringe on purpose so I don't see kids aspiring to be like her in this way

Felix's intricate arc felt so abruptly cut after he became Kagami's boyfriend; I feel like it's a shame Feligami were so rushed bc a slow development of their relationship could've strengthened his character arc even further. I feel like it merced both their characters by having it be so quickly put together. Bc why is Kagami saying she loves him enough to defy her mom already and why are they making out all the time. Like I didn't need that personally

Lots of missed opportunities in general regarding Felix

Kagami telling Felix Marinette is Ladybug after 1 ep he got with her like what the hell kind of insane betrayal??? They try to brush off???? Hello????

The way she found out was so stupid too

Man I will miss the -will they, won't they- Ladynoir; I feel like they were the most entertaining and well developed pair in terms of the LS, with the most addicting dynamic

I'm pretty sure most of us were drawn in by "cute flirty cat boy simping for our badass heroine who playfully rebuffs his advances" in the first place

Season 5 was batshit and filled with plotholes like holy

Idek what to think about Chloe now it's messy

The most corrupt adults getting abrupt redemption arcs (principal, mayor Andre, arguably Gabe)

Sabrina just decided to. Turn. Morality somehow appeared when the plot needed it to. Soccer

"I need to break up with Luka bc I am LB"

Tikki and Plagg: "Adrienette can't be together bc of the burden of LB and CN"

Then they get together just fine after becoming superheroes again where nothing about the stress of the job changed, so I guess Tikki and Plagg took away their miraculous for nothing

Luka in the guardian fit 💀

Idk man Kagami's resurfacing feelings for Adrien made me sigh ngl like did I really need this filling up screentime

Kagami being easily manipulated by Lila for plot bc their friendship was built off screen after their terrible interaction in Oni-chan

Lila in general

AI Adrigami taking over Paris' mind via fake AI video kidnapping on glorified apple watch starting the big finale 🧎‍♂️ like what even is this

Adrien being literally asleep for the finale- I get the message. Adrien shouldn't have to fight his dad. Adrien fighting his dad wouldn't be a moment of triumph for Adrien, only sadness. Adrien is a victim of abuse who wants to be rescued and that is ok. Mari rescuing him from his prison is beautiful.

But idk. Maybe have him help in a significant way before he gets neutralized for the whole finale besides providing Maribug with his ring? Idk I love love love Mari getting the spotlight in her show but. Hm. Cutting him off so clean like that is a lil weird considering how important he is, and how Ladynoir's relationship is so essential to the show? I'm still kinda torn on this

Bug Noir slayed at least

Other shit but yeah I'm just rambling

holding back on the surge of ml criticism my brain just produced

[seokminded]

Recreating the scene ♡˚₊‧⁺

Requested by: @aaniag

Seokmin ✗ Paper rings

꒰☆꒱ Genre: childhood BFFs to lovers AU, fluff, slight humor?

꒰☆꒱ Warnings: confessions, slight swearing, a lil' crying, untimely jokes, mini smau included, lots of dialougue, cringe if you're a hater. Missed any lmk.

꒰☆꒱ Wc: 1003

What is it called when you have the uncontrollable urge to constantly be with someone? When you wanna hug them and maaaaybe kiss them? Keep them happy at all costs?

These were some of Seokmins recent thought trains.

He knew he loved you, but could it still be the platonic kind?

Little did he know that he wasn't the only one struggling with such brain rot.

You too spent a good amount of time every day wondering if you were attracted to him. You thought of all the times he made your heart pace up a little:

That one day he ran straight to you after winning the school soccer match.

Or maybe it was when you both were little and he made you a paper ring, promising to marry you one day.

Or was it the day he ki-

You were interrupted by a text message ping from your phone.

Weekly catch-up? Ah right, it was today, you'd almost let it slip from your mind.

Before you knew it, he was in your living room.

Both of you stashed away your nervousness by rambling on about what happened in the week and what happened at work, who said what, and who dissed whom. When the topic came to an end, you decided to steer the conversation.

"Min-ah."

"Hmm?"

"Remember that one time we were in the playground and you proposed to me?"

"I DID WHAT?!"

"Why is your memory so bad?"

"I really did that?! Maybe I was drunk?"

"SEOKMIN WE WERE 5! It was such a wholesome moment why can't you remember?"

This was when Seokmin saw an opening and decided to take a chance.

"I'm sorry! But I have an idea, let's recreate it."

"What do you m-"

"Shh! I'm going into character."

You were confused. What the hell did he mean recreate it? He just said he doesn't remember right?

He had your attention as he cleared his throat, shifted to face you, and took both your hands in his.

"Y/n, there's something I've come to realize about you, about us. I-I think I like you more than a friend. Every time I'm not around you, I can't help but think about you. Every time I think about us, my mind feels a little fuzzy and I can't stop grinning like an idiot. I really don't think there's anyone else who knows me as much as you do. We've grown together, and been together through our highs and lows. So I'll just cut to the chase, I think I'm in love with you."

You forgot to take a breath. D-did he just... No, he's just 'recreating' the scene right?

"Min, um-"

"Hey! Don't interrupt please, I'm not done. Look, I know this all might sound strange but, I just didn't want to ruin the bond we have, honestly, I don't even know how long I've felt like this. Lately, it's just been on my mind and if you don't feel the same, all you need to do is tell me. I completely understand. I'm really sorry for saying it like this. I know it's not the best way to confess. But I really just had to tell you."

His eyes held the truth in his heart and he nervously took in a deep breath.

"Min, you're still recreating right? Or did you mean it?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you meant it." you whispered.

"I meant every word." he whispered back.

And that's when your heart forgot how to beat. All these thoughts of him not feeling the same dissipated as a wave of something new washed over. Succumbing to your instinct, you couldn't hold back the urge to ask,

"What if I don't feel the same Min?"

His face reflected the fear that washed over him. But being the goofy little gremlin that he was, the seriousness of your question didn't stop him from cracking the most untimely joke.

"Then I'll smack you hard on the head so you forget I ever confessed and we can go back to being friends."

Before he could say another word, you launched yourself at him and wrapped him in a hug. Arms around his neck and face burried in his shoulder you were on the verge of tears at the mere thought of ever losing a friend like him.

"Min-ah I like you too! I just didn't know how to tell you but I like you too! I was scared that you don't feel the same so I just kept it to myself."

To be honest, he was a tad bit shocked. But it was all he needed to hear. Reciprocating your hug, he held you close until a stifled sniffle from you alerted him. Breaking away to look at you,

"Hey, are you crying?"

"Minnie I was so scared that I'd lose you if I confessed and you didn't like me back. I'm just really happy right now."

Tears streaked your flush cheeks as he gently wiped them away. As an attempt to hush you, he stroked your hair softly.

"I'm never gonna leave you okay? I'll be right here. Please don't cry."

"Where's my ring?"

"Ring? What do you mean?"

"You were recreating the scene right? In the playground you made me a paper ring and put it on me."

You stretched out your hand to him and wiggled you ring finger.

"I'll accept a paper ring for now," you said in a cheeky tone with a smile decorating your face.

He couldn't help but giggle and flash you the most dazzling smile you've ever seen.

"You're so adorable I could die." Placing a hand behind your head he drew you in closer and placed the softest kiss on your forehead. You giggled and so did he.

In that moment you knew that you were his and he was yours. A love that began at a tender age and finally blossomed after years of growing up in each other company.

You'd really marry this man with paper rings.

TBH this isn't my best work but I wanted to put it out there before I start procrastinating.

Requests open. LMK if you'd like to see similar content!

© 2023 SEOKMINDED. Do not copy, translate or repost any of my works or i'll cry.

˚₊‧ ꒰ 안녕 ꒱ ‧₊˚

[yolo1650]

Surprise Date Pt. 3 (wip)

A/N: Inspired by a whole bunch of sacred romantic prompts by @screnwriter I had a lot of fun writing this! But I can imagine my execution is mediocre at best (especially with trying to write in Redd's pov) XD 

Also, if this helps, you can imagine the anthropomorphism akin to something like from Bojack Horseman. If you’re looking for some context, click here. I really wrote this to practice writing, nothing plot relevant here is permanent. 

Word Count: 1805

Warnings/Tags: Anthropomorphic characters, cross species relationship, drinking off screen, mentions of alcohol, jazzy times, make up after a fight, but i’m not exactly sure what they fought about, slow dancing, fluff, heart to heart, kissing, implied sex at the end, amateur writing, so it might get repetitive at times, i’m just so glad this is done, my oc still doesn’t have a name yet, she’s just referred to as she the whole time :’)

————-

As the level of wine in their glasses winded down, so did their surprisingly pleasant date night. In between their shared laughter and smiles, Redd could barely remember whatever fuss they had two nights before. Key word: barely. He still remembered how the sound of her yelling grated against his, and his tail bristled slightly at the thought of it.  

 Just then the CD player finished. With a tight smile, she excused herself to go and add a new one. The smooth voice of a woman's jazz ballad flowed out of the speakers, nothing at all like the soft chimes of the synth that was on before. Redd looked over to her outstretched hand.  

"Dance with me?" 

The dumb look of shock on his face probably wasn’t subtle at all, otherwise she wouldn't have shown off those shining pearly whites of her's. Rubbing the back of his neck, he chuckled. "No, no, I'm sorry darlin'. But I'm no dancer." 

But her hand remained outstretched in front of him. "I'll be the judge of that." Her tone was blunt, but her eyes however held a small plea. She then cocked her head over to the open space in front of the speakers. "Come on, we won't go too fast, I promise."

Tentatively, he placed his own leathered palm in her soft one, allowing her to guide him to the center of the living room. As she guided his right hand to her waist, he could feel his hackles rise at the nerves. He swallowed.  

"Don't say I didn't warn you now. Who knows, we might both end up on the ground 'cause of me." He hoped his voice didn't come out as hoarse because of how dry it was. She only smiled back, eyes warm with reassurance.  

"Then we'll both have something to laugh about when we look back at this moment." She placed a hand on his shoulder and slowly started moving. "Just follow my lead. I'm sure a smart fox like you can figure out a simple slow dance."

So, they danced, or rather, she slowly danced but had to pause at every step so that Redd's feet could step in time with her. He kept his head down, partly to keep watch of her feet and partly out of embarrassment. It wasn't often when he was forced in a position to admit an honest fault of his, but he'll take this case to be a delightful exception.  

"Are you familiar with Ella Fitzgerald?" Her question was let out in a single warm breath that pushed against the whiskers on the side of his muzzle. His nose involuntarily twitched at the newfound intimacy. He looked up only to see her gaze was elsewhere, supposedly lost in the swooping lows of the melody.  

"Ah, no, not really." He gently squeezed her hand as she picked up the pace. She squeezed back. "But I, uh, I don't mind. She sounds very talented."

"That she was, that she was," she drawled, her voice low. Nothing at all like how she sounded two days ago: sharp and resonant, and she had each syllable spoken with just the right amount of annunciation, perfect for scolding an employee for his unprofessionalism.  

It didn't take long before their bodies started moving together at the gentle pace of the song. His own tail couldn't help but absent-mindedly swing along to the smooth piano accompaniment. She even let him lead the dance for a few moments. Not bad you sly fox, Redd thought to himself, not bad at all. When she took over once more he looked to smile at her before saying, "This, this is kinda nice." But she only briefly returned that same half smile he'd seen all day.

Redd didn't need to be a detective to figure out what was bothering her. But, if their argument has taught him anything, it's that she wasn't really the talking type. In fact, if today has taught him anything, it was that she preferred to show how she felt, rather than say it. He squeezed her hand once more to assure her as she did for him, and her worried-filled eyes met with his attentive ones.  

She let out a sigh. "I'm sorry," she started, "about the things I said last time."

"I know." Out of the corner of his eye he could see her small frown. "The museum, fancy dinner, and now this? You'd have to admit it's all one hell of an apology."

"I still thought I should say it.”

“Apology accepted." He smiled. But it quickly dropped when she didn’t return it. He then opened his mouth. “I-

“I still have more to say, so if you could please just..." Her voice trailed off, not that she needed to finish it in the first place. The sight of her knit eyebrows alone was enough to shut his mouth up. He's never seen her so uncomfortable.  

She took another breath before continuing. "I was being a stupid, privileged ass, and you didn't deserve that. You're too good for-" She stopped herself, trying to find the right words. "You, you're just." She sighed and briefly glanced at him only to look away once again. “You’re extraordinary."

"I'm extraordinary?" The comment stopped him in his tracks, but he didn't even notice until she stumbled into him, the sweet, floral smell of her hair wash stronger than ever. Her arms grabbed onto his shoulders and he steadied her with his hands on her waist. He let out an embarrassed chuckle against her ear. "Sorry about that. Now remind me, who's the one making more figures here?"

"This isn't about that," she replied, their faces were so close she only needed to whisper. "I'm only able to do what I do because of my mom and she always knows best. But you-" Her piercing eyes met his own. "You didn't have any of that and you still made your way here because you wanted to be. You have this drive, this determination-and I see it in your eyes-you just go for it and take what you want, no matter what.”  

He leaned into her when she placed her forehead against his. “I've never seen that before so yeah, that's extraordinary."

He smirked. "Well, you are right about that."

She rolled her eyes. "You know I can easily take back all the nice things I said about you." The corners of her eyes crinkled as her mouth lifted to a beautiful smile. Redd's been waiting all night to see that one.  

"Alight, alright," he conceded, "bad timing I know, I'm sorry."  

She leaned in, pressing her whole body against him in a total embrace. Redd could tell that she'd said and done her piece, and was now melting into his touch. He could hear her quietly sing along to the music against his neck, another thing he'd never seen her do before. Their swaying has slowed tremendously since they started, but he decided that he actually liked it better this way.  

He cleared his throat and she pulled away to hear what he had to say. "I'm sorry 'bout gettin’ under your skin the other day. I should've known better than to pry like that." Seeing the earnest look in her eyes made him pause, and he found his jaw slacked trying to find his thoughts again.  

"I, uh, you're an amazing woman, you know that right?" She only responded with a small smile, a gentle request to continue. "You're a smart, beautiful, and busy woman who's got a lot on her plate. I'm sorry if I just ended up makin' your life harder and more stressful."

"Apology accepted," she said with a wide smile.

"And did I mention you've got a spine of steel? She shook her head and chuckled into his chest, now he was overdoing it. "I'm serious! Have you seen yourself at the office? There's nothing stopping you, whatever you want, you've got it. You're the whole package babe, life's just that easy for you."

Their slow dance has come to a crawling stop by now. As they held onto each other, the long, soaring melody from the trumpet flowed in between them, carrying away their troubles and leaving them together, hearts beating in time with each other. Redd didn't think he'd ever want to let go of her at all.  

"Nothing about this is easy right now," she mumbled into his neck.  

"I know." There was still so much he didn't tell her yet, and the longer he waited, the harder it became to even bring it up.  

His sensitive ears picked up the huffiness of a short laugh coming from her. "You certainly don't make it very easy. Here I am, twenty-one, thinking I already have everything together. I knew who I was, and I knew what my future held, but then -" She paused. What she said next came out slow, as if she was processing each word as it left her. "But then I met you, and for the first time, I just don't know anymore. I don't even-" Her hands balled up into fists against his back. "What if I-" He started rubbing slow circles against hers. "Maybe." Her shoulders relaxed. "Maybe I don’t want my future anymore because whenever I look at you-"

Their eyes met, and as they gazed deeply into each other, Redd couldn't help but feel an urge, a pull towards her. Did her eyes always look like a fox's? Bright with excitement and simmering with a deep burn of desire and certainty?

"-I see a whole different future, and I want it." Her eyes were already halfway closed at their close proximity, eagerly inviting him to close the gap. Right before he did, he heard her utter one four more words that made this wait all the more worth it. "I want you, Redd."

This kiss was the best one they had yet. It was slow and tender, and he indulged himself fully to the taste of her perfect lips. They were soft, and still had the lingering taste of the wine they shared moments before.  

When she reached up to hold his face against his own, his ears perked at the sound of a new vocalist, male this time, and although his gravelly voice sounded far away, the truth of the words he sang rang loud and true. Heaven, he was in heaven. He felt a slice of it with every gasp of breath they shared in between kisses, with every fleeting touch of her slender fingers on his body, with every soft moan of pleasure she let out underneath him. Heaven was tender kisses that were given like a promise. Heaven was when neither of them wanted to leave the gentle and firm embrace of the other, deep into the night.  

————-

Here’s the song that featured at the end

Let me know what you guys think, constructive criticism is especially welcome here :D

-(･ω･)v

[delusional-mishaps]

I’m going a hiatus but I wanted to ask for something before I doooooo!!! May I ask for some Epic Sans x reader headcanons?

Where the reader and Epic are friends but they unknowingly crush on each other and when Epic finally tries flirting, he learns the reader gets extremely flustered very easily. (Ah yes kabedons….instant melting-)

Thank you in advance! Also it’s been awhile, how have you been?

I NEVER SAW THIS WHAN YOU SENT IT IN IMSO SORRY 😭😭😨

genuinely still dont know much abt epic but hes kinda silly so lets see how this goes!! apologies if he's ooc im too lazy to look up anything about him

also ive been good thank you for asking ^^ livin life in beast mode since i got a cross bodypillow,,

motherfucker is WHIPPED goddamn 👴 always has some degree of a blush on his face when you're around,,,, or when he's talking about you,,, or thinking about you,,,,

you think his lil flushed cheeks are soo cute

because they ARE?? if only u knew they were flushed cuz of you <33

he likes to rant to anyone who'll listen abt how adorable you are. how in love with you he is. how he just wants to kiss your cute little face all over, leave you flushed and dizzy—

cross is FED UP with listening to his simping 😒😡

he's always so giddy around you. boundless energy, like you're some drug that gets his metaphorical heart pumping. really, you ARE like a drug to him. he's ADDICTED to you, the way you make him feel,,

ofc he'd never tell you that... that's too embarrassing!

until he decides to somehow make a stupid pick-up line.

"hey bruh, are you a drug? cuz i feel like im dying when im without you for an extended period of time."

WHY are you blushing at that horrible, stupid line?? he could have made it SO MUCH better, but this is SO him—silly and slightly nonsensical—and while it was kind of dumb, he's using a pick up line on you oh my god

nerd ass weeb anime mf will call you his waifu or husbando or whatever. it always makes you blush when he introduces you as "my awesome (waifu/husbando) whom i love" but you always just. brush it off as a joke. cuz i mean he can't ACTUALLY like you right? haha he's just overly friendly pshh ofc ourse he diesnt actually like you that's crazy—

sorry writing that actually made me cringe i cant believe he would say that 😭 life is so hard when that's my husband's best friend #savemefromepic

for the longest time he doesn't even realise that he's flustering you, but OH BOY, when he DOES become aware,,,, lord help your poor poor SOUL, you won't have a moment of rest

i mean, c'mon, he thinks you look so cute when you're all flustered because of him,,,, so adorable how your eyes widen fractionally, the way your lips press together, how you try to hide your heated face from anyone's view,,, so cute <33

dude double's down in his flirting. no matter how wild what he says is, you always get that cute look on your face that makes him want to kiss you so fucking bad bro

then, one day, after the two of you watched some stupid cliché romance anime where the female protagonist was pinned to the wall by her love interest...

it's like a lightbulb went off in his empty head. that's peak anime romance, so why doesn't he do that to you? he bets you'd get so embarrassed and cute if he did that~

except it kind of backfires. he slams his hands against the wall, effectively caging you between them, but he's a little shorter than you and the force he used rocked him right into your body and it's more like he just body-checked you than anything. it took all of his strength to make sure he didn't accidentally nail you in the nose with his big fat head. still, the close proximity got you all flushed.

he really can't help himself when he leans up and finally, finally kisses you. call it the heat of the moment, but it was the perfect opportunity. pressed up against the wall, so close to each other,,, when you just look so cute, your soft body against his bones feeling just right, like two perfect puzzle pieces coming together...

he could feel when your breath hitched, the way you tensed for but a moment before fervently kissing him back. your face is positively burning, but it makes the kiss all the better, feeling divine against his cooled cheeks, flushed with his own blush.

he pulls back and then...!! leaves. he disappears, falling into his bed and kicking his feet. he's totally squealing, fanboying harder than he ever has before.

you're allowed to kick his ass for just leaving you like that

but he'll text you later that night asking if you wanna be his "official (waifu/husbando)" because he's cringe and can't just ask if you wanna date the normal way.. </3

i keep cringing at him. have fun with your weeb man. i'm judging you for your tastes (/j)

[italiansteebie]

sorry I stole ur post op***

Keith was sick of Steve Harrington.

He put him on the worst shifts, made fun of him, pushed him around, and the guy just... took it. Like what the fuck? it's not fun if Steve doesn't care.

The guy apologizes like, twice a day, and Keith is almost certain that the stuff he's apologizing for, he didn't even do! It was that Hagan dipshit.

So yeah, Keith is sick of Steve Harrington, because he can't bring himself to hate the guy like he did in high school. He always got the girl, the best friends, the best seat in the cafeteria, and he just took it. Anything he wanted, Steve got, because he just has that effect on people.

everyone, except that is, Eddie munson.

And god, Keith was more than grateful for the metalhead's hatred of king Steve, the guy was too hot to have such a downfall like falling for the fake charm of Steve Harrington.

So Keith admired Eddie from afar, his long dark hair, the way his eyes shine when talking about the things he loves, and especially, the sneer that spread across his face when meeting Steve Harringtons eyes.

And so maybe the crush was superficial, based on merely a mutual distaste and good looks, but Keith couldn't help it. Finally, finally, there was someone other than him who wasn't going to fall for Steve Harrington. Like, geeze. Even the Buckley girl fell for him. Another one lost.

and things were smooth. Keith liked Eddie because Eddie was hot, and he too, hated Steve.

until spring break. and the ground opened up and tried to swallow the town, and Keith assumes other things had to happen to create the hallucination he was currently viewing.

because months later, here was Eddie, leaning over the counter at family video, making Steve blush. What the fuck.

"Oh, what the fuck. Harrington took you too? God Damnit!"

And the two men jumped a part, a dark look forming over Steves face, one that Keith has never seen before. It was hot- No. Nope. Not going to happen. "What's that supposed to mean, Keith?" Harrington moved towards him, creating a barrier of sorts between him and Eddie. and Keith blanched. he knew the implications of what he said, but he didn't mean it like that.

he didn't care if they were queer, he cared that even as a queer Steve took what he wanted right out from under Keiths nose. "You got Eddie! Jesus man. You being queer ruins that dating pool for the rest of us. C'mon! Think about someone other than yourself for once." Keith grumbled, thanking whatever god is up there that the store was currently empty. He watched as Steve and Eddie looked at each other, and giggled. Giggled.

"Keith, you had a crush on lil' ole me?" Eddie drawled, making a blush rise to his cheeks. "NO! Well, yes. But it was more because you hated Steve too."

"You hate me?" Steve's tone was slightly hurt, and Keith couldn't help but feel bad. "I tried really hard to," He admitted defeatedly, drawing a chuckle from Eddie. "Me too. But like, he's just so goofy. How could you not love this face," Eddie said, smushing Steves cheeks with his hands.

Keith grumbled and threw his hands up. "I know! God, he apologizes like fifteen times a day for shit he didn't even do, just to try and make me feel better, when I'm going out of my way to make his life harder! God, Steve you were so much easier to be around when you were a douchebag."

Steve blushed, Eddie grabbing his hand, "He was, wasn't he? Now I can't keep my hands off of him." Eddie crooned.

Keith scoffed and fake gagged in their direction, a small smile on his face now. Maybe the guy wasn't so bad.

----

And as it turns out, Steve was actually really cool because he invited Keith over for the weekly hellfire meeting and not so casually set him up on a date with Jeff.

And he'd never admit it, but, they hit it off, and Keith was eternally grateful for Steve Harrington. He still cringes slightly at that thought, but a smile makes it's way on to his face every time he thinks of the guy.

he scoffs to himself and thinks, 'whatever.'

Imagine how mad Keith would be if he had a crush on Eddie and in comes Steve swooping up another babe.

[sugamamacustard]

✨Intimidating✨

Pairing: Alpha! Issei Matsukawa X Omega! Reader, Alpha! Satori Tendou x Omega! Reader

Genre: Fluff!

Request: can i request matsukawa and tendou w an omega that’s afraid to ask them to scent something for them? 🖤

Summary: Alpha's are scary creatures. Going up to them is scary, and honestly, you were never sure you would ever be able to look one in the eye. Unfortunately, your omega was dead set on one particular alpha-- one who seemed so much more intimidating than any other alpha you had seen before.

Author’s Note:  Nonnie you really said-- let me pick custard's husbands.

Requests: Closed!

Buy me a coffee?

**✨=1000 followers special!**

Issei Matsukawa

➵ Matsukawa Issei; a strong, tall and proud third year alpha. Part of the starting line-up of Seijoh's volleyball team.

➵Unfortunately, he was also the object of your inner omega's (And begrudgingly your own) affections.

➵ It wasn't like you weren't friendly with him, but he was just so much bigger than you!

➵And honestly, you were just...scared?

➵ He'd never done anything to make you fear him, as he was just a giant teddy bear of a man, but you just couldn't really explain it.

➵ In actuality, you were scare of most of the third year boys-- despite being a third year yourself.

➵ They were just so tall and buff! You couldn't help it!

➵ This didn't help with the fact that there was some obvious chemistry between you and Matsukawa.

➵ Even the teacher could see it

➵ However, you just...couldn't find the courage to ask him to scent something for you to begin the courting process.

➵ You understood that volleyball practice took up a lot of time so him giving you a gift was out of the question.

➵ Meaning it was up to you.

___

You had been trying for days to work up the courage to talk to Matsukawa.

It hadn't been easy, a number of things stopping you-- the number one factor being your own nerves. You would be talking with him, having an incredible time before your omega would remind you that you need to ask and you would malfunction.

Honestly, it was almost a problem at this point. He was always super understanding when you excused yourself but you felt terrible about it.

You just wanted to get it done and over with! You wanted him to hold you in his arms already! To love and cherish him, make sure he's okay after practice.

But your goddamn nerves just wouldn't let you!

Groaning, your tensed your shoulders at the clang that came when your forehead smacked on the cool metal of the lockers. In your hand was a crumpled shirt, one you had been trying to ask Matsukawa to scent for the past however long.

"It's not even that hard?!" You groaned, smacking your hand against the same locker. "It's four words, for heaven's sake. Just 'please scent this Matsukawa', not that bloody difficult!"

You huffed, still cringing at the sound of the metal echo in the empty hallway-- well, the presumably empty hallway.

"About as difficult as saying 'Please be my omega'."

You chirped in surprise, whipping around to face the tall alpha. He was smiling down softly at you, one brow raised as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and duffle hanging by his side. "Matsukawa-san, I- uh,"

He held up a hand, getting up and walking over to you. He gently pried the shirt from your grip before rubbing it against his scent gland, wrapping his unoccupied hand around your waist and leading you out the front.

"Matsu-"

"Issei, I'm your alpha now, aren't I?" He smirked, nuzzling your temple with a laugh as your cheeks erupted in red. "Come on, pretty thing, let's go get you some food."

Satori Tendo

➵ Now Satori is...a lot.

➵ He's energetic and eccentric.

➵ And just... a lot.

➵ Not in a bad way, of course, but (Sorry, this is custard's personal HC) he needed someone to balance him out.

➵ Someone to take refuge in. To hold him close when he has anxiety attacks (Another personal HC of Custard's is that Tendo has severe anxiety and I will take this with me till the day I die).

➵ He needed the shy and small omega that was you.

➵ At this point, if wasn't a matter of if it was when you two would become official as you both balanced each other out perfectly.

➵ Your mellow attitude calmed his other-worldly one.

➵ His brash and straight-forward nature made up for your shy and easily-overwhelmed one.

➵Honestly, ya'll cute.

➵Satori likes you a lot, you like him a lot, unfortunately, the only issue?

➵ Satori cannot, for the life of him, do anything (another Personal Custard HC) that requires nimble fingers.

➵ (The personal HC is that he was super clumsy with his hands and fingers until his adulthood when he learned to channel it into chocolate.)

➵ So things like beading necklaces or bracelets was kind of out of the question for him.

➵ Meaning if was left to you.

___

"You can do it. You can do it. You can- I can't do it-" You groaned, turning away from the entrance to the gym, wringing your sweater between your sweaty hands.

You knew Satori was in there.

You knew when it came to you, he wouldn't bat an eye at stepping out for...hell the rest of practice.

You knew that this was practically a formality, as he already treated you like his omega. Feeding you, scenting you, caring for you around your heats and helping you prep before giving you space.

He was honestly perfect for you. Just as you were for him.

Growling to yourself you faced the gym doors once more, breathing in and out slowly. You could do this! This was Satori. He promised to always hold you and value your feelings.

You could do this.

Stepping forward, you stumbled back as the door poked open-- happy ruby eyes gleaming as they saw you. You snorted, covering your mouth with a hand. Satori took this as a good sign, waggling his fingers in a greeting as his eyes scrunched meaning he was smiling.

You waved back, smiling as well. When his eyes turned into small squints, analyzing your figure you became self conscious, shuffling slightly. The alpha picked up on this, soon slipping out of the gym completely, closing the door behind him. He sauntered over to you, towering over you as he held his hands behind his back.

"Hey little omega, how are you? Come to visit the lil' ol guess monster?" He teased, a twinkle of something in his eyes.

You nodded, not trusting your words before thrusting the article at the confused alpha. He caught it, barely, holding it for a second before it clicked, the smile returning to his face.

"Damn. And here I was, thinking I finally got the upper hand on you." He chuckled, quickly disappearing into the gym before reappearing once more, this time with a woken necklace. He bashfully handed it to you along with the, newly scented, sweater.

"Guess you'll always be a mystery to me, huh Paradise?" He laughed, holding to his chest like he always promised too.

[stray-kids-react]

Doing WAP dance perfectly

(If you don't know what WAP is. It's a suggestive dance with a lot of twerking and grinding.)

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° Chan always called you cute, you would try your hardest to be hot... But he'd still see you as an adorable lil bean. You became worried that he didn't see you in a sexual way at all, and decided to see if you could possibly get him flustered by doing such a dirty dance.

° You wore the sexiest outfit in your closet, leaving barely anything to the imagination. You walked into Chan's studio with a large trench coat hiding the treat you had in store for your boyfriend. Noticing Chan was alone, you decided to let the coat drop to your feet.

° Blush crept onto his cheeks, bottom lip bittne by his teeth. It was making a mark on him, until you started the music. That song was too much of a meme to be sexy to him, especially since Felix tried to attempt it in front of him once and gave up half way.

° Even if you looked extremely sexy while pounding into the ground, he couldn't help but giggle by the choice of song. If it were something more sensual and romantic, than he would be on the ground with you. But WAP turned him off quite a bit.

"Chan! I wanted to be sexy... Am I not hot?"

"Of course you are hot, it's just the song."

Lee Know

° Minho is a tease who loves you very much, but is not a fan of that trend. He can't help but cringe when he sees someone do it in public for everyone to see, he doesn't know why but it just effects him a lot in all of the wrong ways. But you didn't know this.

° While he alone in the dance practice room, you walked in with WAP blaring from your phone. You then put it on the bench and began to dance along with it perfectly, the phone was recording everything. Including Minho's uncomfortable expression.

° He was impressed by your hips, but the whole song and trend gave him terrible flashbacks to the tiktok he witnessed before. Even if he wanted to smile, it came off very fake or turned into some mixture of cringe and fake happiness.

° Minho did not want to hurt your feelings, but he truly couldn't help it when you did the WAP dance. You thought he was teasing you and trying to annoy you, and you continue to think that til this day. But he was truly not impressed by that trend that you did.

"I know you secretly loved it, don't deny it."

"Oh trust me, I won't deny anything."

Changbin

° You were trying so hard to learn this dance, you wanted to do it for yourself and to also impress your boyfriend. Even when you failed miserabley, Changbin still sent hearts of encouragement and asked if you could give him another show of it.

° He would be lying if he denied that he didn't get a tiny bit turned on when you pounded into the ground, but he didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable so he didn't tell you unless you noticed or asked him about it. Which you did a couple of times.

° Wonders how your body can move so smoothly while doing such harsh and sexual moves, especially when it comes to the twerking. You challenged Changbin to twerk with you, and you weren't surprised when he was actually pretty good at it.

° Will record the challenge, helping you edit it and re recording it if you don't like the final product. Changbin is supportive of your interests and even if he isn't overly into WAP, he finds anything you do breathtaking. And think your better than Cardi B herself.

"I swear you are better than Cardi B babe."

"Stop buttering me up lover boy."

Hyunjin

° Truly conflicted. He is impressed by your dance skills, but also doesn't want your followers to see you dancing so proactively. He wants to be the only one to see you acting this way, but he also finds it a bit amusing on how serious you seem.

° Your dancing to a song called 'Wet Ass Pussy' and yet your face seems like your doing an interview at the job of your dreams. This will calm his nerves a tiny bit, knowing you aren't doing this to get attention. But rather because you're bored and wanted to.

° Will sometimes hum along to the song while it's playing, getting shy if he reads out the dirty lyrics about sex. Even though it has become more of a meme than a sensual getting it on song, it still makes him flustered because of how raunchy it is.

° Claps when you've finally succeeded the dance, smiling proudly since he saw how hard you worked for a non benefitial trend. Once you posted the challenge, he would like and save it immediately. Secretly watching it while he goes on tour.

"Does it hurt when you hump the ground?"

"You get used to it after a while."

Han

° Knew that you were going to want to do it, you like to try out different trends to see if you like them or not. He just wasn't expecting to see you do WAP so closely, he thought he'd scroll through tik tok and then you'd be twerking on his feed.

° He was scrolling through Instagram when you got up and began to do the dance, he was trying to comprehend what was going on since you did so out of the blue. Became your personal cheerleader when you went into the splits, hyping you up quite a bit.

° Won't see it as a sensual dance, is more impressed than turned on. He'll high five you afterwards, and then 'high fives' your toosh for doing most of the work. You will become flustered with his compliments, giggling as he drums your bottom teasingly.

° Goes through your social media accounts later, to make sure there aren't any pervs commenting degrading things. If he sees any he'll report them, knowing he is the only one to say things such as 'that's some fine peice of ass' to you.

"Baby, are you scrolling my comments?"

"mhm, there are some creepy followers."

Felix

° Tik tok master, already knows all of the moves and probably taught you them. Felix likes to boost your confidence up and become your own personal happiness, even if you thought you looked cringey and horrid in the video, he'd tell you the opposite.

° Won't force you to do it in front of people or even post the video, even though you look amazing he still doesn't mind if keeping it private. Is a protective sunshine who would feel a bit of relief if you didn't post it, but would never ever admit that to you.

° When you were your best friend was visiting, you both decided to attempt the popular trend. She stopped half way through do to laughter, while you kept going. Felix rushed to you from the kitchen, beginning to throw money on you to enhance the laughter.

° If you get embarrassed when dialing one of the many attempts, he'll comfort you and shower you with kisses til you feel better. Over all he is a sweetheart who cherishes your happiness, and he'll do anything to hear your beautiful laugh and see your smile.

"Don't be shy love *kiss* you were great. *kiss*."

"The kisses make me more shy Felix."

Seungmin

° Knew you were on tik tok, and witnessed you attempt a couple of trends, mosy dance challenges. But never expected you to do WAP, you both were generally introverted and were much more soft with each other in public rather than all over each other.

° Even in photos of you two together, the most anyone will see is hand holding. That's why many people were surprised to see you doing such a bold and raunchy dance for many people to see, the reason behind it was a dare from your close friend.

° A staff member showed him the video, giggling as they couldn't beleive what you did. Seungmin smiled, seeing you so confident and bold made him feel proud. He wasn't upset or jealous in the slightest, he was extactic to see you be so confident.

° When he arrived home, you asked him about his opinion on the video. He could tell you didn't like it and were self conscious about it. So instead o replying at first, he embraced you in a gentle hug. Rubbing your shoulder blades as he complimented you.

"You looked stunning in the video."

"A-are you sure? Don't lie to me Seungmin."

Jeongin

° Stray kids knew you for as long as they knew Jeongin, you were his best friend turned lover and they saw you as family. That is why it made it 10x more awkward for both you and Jeongin when Felix noticed your newest post on tik tok.

° You thought you saved it privately, and did NOT want it to be public due to having such an open account with many followers. Your family even followed your account, so this made you nearly pass out knowing many people have already seen this video.

° You immediately deleted the video, even though it was far too late. Jeongin was a bit shy from witnessing you do such a raunchy dance, but he wanted to comfort you nonetheless. His ears were bright pink as you clung onto him, trying to calm down.

° A couple days after the incident, Minho and Han would tease you lightly. Jeongin occasionally joined in, unless he noticed you became very flustered and would then put a stop to the teasing. He still found it adorable how embarrassed you were of the video.

"What if my mom saw this!?"

"... What if she didn't. There is a chance."

[silvervivienne08]

Part 7: The Art of Letting Go

By: Whipped as Fuck Cowfi

Step One.

Get help, talk to a friend

Cry about being a wuss, broken and still very much in love with her

Have a shitty decision to dump all the cringey poems you wrote about her somewhere it could be seen and heard, bare your shitty soul to whatever pour soul that manages to come across this.

Hope to hell that the muse of your poems would never see this, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Grab some drink and let it all out

Cry yourself to sleep

Step two.

Wake up, convince yourself to post the second part of your shitty series

Let the whole world see how your gay ass painfully pined after your muse

Dig yourself a hole somewhere to save whatever dignity you have left

While under your hole, ponder about the angst you suffered through and how your gay ass got yourself writing shitty poems from it

Maybe cry again while your at it

Step 3.

There's more work to be done, post the only happy and sappy part of your series the next day

Reminisce about the time you got the girl after quite some quite

Remember the good times, all the fun you've had and all the things that made you fall even harder for her than you already were…

too whipped, but who cares?

maybe try not cry too much this time while thinking about the happiness and joy you've felt with your time with her.

Step 4.

ITS PART 4 ALREADY, MOVE YOUR ASS UP

Take everything you've shoved into the corner of your brain and maybe its time for some realization??

Beat yourself up for fucking up one of the best thing that came into your life?

Pour some hard shit on your cup and do some ugly crying, let everything… I mean everything out this time so there wouldn't be anymore crying next time.

exhaust yourself to sleep, maybe..

Step 5.

Chuck the next part on tumblr, still cringe while posting it

Get yourself together and like seriously do even more thinking… Rationally this time after getting completely all emotional the previous day

Take your time, gather whatever realizations you may have had in this intervention that you had to do to yourself. THis shit aint easy, but you need it.. Desperately lmfao

Rinse your liver with water and if there's still tears, squeeze em the fuck out from your eyeballs… or tear ducts.. whatever

Step 6.

Copy and paste the last poem you've ever wrote

Realize that yes, you're still whipped as fuck and still deadass in love with your muse and maybe that's okay, you can't really change how you feel in a blink of an eye (just rip your fucking heart out? maybe …)

Do yourself a favor though, stop holding on too much. Just stop unecessarily hurting yourself. If it happens then it'll happen but other wise, stop holding on to too much hope

Learn to let go, even for just a lil bit. One step at a time. Take posting all of your shitty and cringe as fuck poems as you finally vocalizing the rollercoaster of emotions you've went through this pass few months, almost a year to be exact. Make this your first teeny tiny step in letting go

Step 7.

FINALLY, a short ass letter dedicated to my muse:

My muse,

I'll try to make this short but there's so much I want to say. If you ever see this, which i hope you do not because it'll be so fucking embarrassing, know that I was really fucking serious when I told you that you can keep me just as you've asked the very first time we met. I'm still whipped as fuck and Idk if I'll ever be able to move on coz you're really one hella of a girl. I could probably cause a blackhole from piercing the earth with my tiny ass falling really, really fucking hard. BUT!!! But don't worry, I'm really trying my ass over here. It may take days, weeks, months, or maybe even years but I'll be okay, hopefully. But you'll always have like this really special place? shrine?? CORNER!! , in my brain and my heart. Thank you for your patience and kindness even though I didn't really deserve it any of it. You were such a sunshine to my dark and broody corner, the light to the murky waters that I was threading in. I'm sorry I haven't been good to you, for hurting you so bad. I've been the worst and I completely understand everything so I'm not really complaining. I appreciate you and everything that we've had, I will always hold you and our memories together close to my heart. It was one hell of a ride, even though its hurts like fucking hell, I wouldn't change it for anything. I'm glad I met you, the only thing I would ever regret in our relationship was hurting you. I hope that everything is going well in your life and that you've been doing good. Don't stress out too much, eat well, have fun with your friends and family, and take good care of yourself. I hope you'll find the one that'll bring you the happiness you deserve because you deserve everything. Thank you for everything. I love you, maybe I'll always do. You'll always be my hedgehog.

Ciao!

THE LEVEL OF CRINGE, ITS OVER 9000

Part 1 out of the 6 Cringy Poems I wrote that y'all gonna have to suffer through with me :)

I lay here, wide awake Thoughts consumed by you, and you alone I know not how it started Nor where it all began Maybe it was just me but There was this thing about you that just drew me in Like how a moth would towards an open flame And as time passed by, The pull has only gotten stronger, So irresistible that the strength of it terrifies me For I have never felt this way before Or maybe I did? For I know exactly what I’m starting to feel for you That feeling, it’s such a familiar feeling yet the magnitude of it differs greatly A part of me knew that I was attracted to you Though I never paid it any thought Dismissing it as a simple and harmless crush Never knowing that throughout the time we spent together, Conversing about everything and all that is between, that tiny, almost inconspicuous crush would become a seed A seed that would spread and dig its roots in to my chest to create what seems to be the makings of a garden with a flower blooming right at its center watered, and kept alive by you

so I lay here, wide awake finally aware of my feelings towards you it hurts, oh how it hurts for I know that it would never happen that the idea of you reciprocating these feelings are naught but thoughts of wishful thinking so I choke back down my anguish as my traitorous mind turns against me clouding my sight with visions of us together, of what we could possibly be if given the chance it would’ve been wonderful to be able to lean against you as we laugh and talk under the sun without a care in the world how it delightful it would’ve been to hear you laugh, knowing that I was the reason for it to feel the softness of your hands intertwined against mine that in times where I am so unsure of myself and this world it’s alright to fall right into the warmth of you embrace safe and secured, cradled in the comfort of your arms and that in turn, you would trust me enough to accept my shoulders as something you could lean on in hard times to know and experience the happiness and joy of what being someone loved by someone like you would feel like how lucky, no blessed, I would’ve been sadly, tis nothing but a fantasy so I lay here, wide awake with tears streaming down my face as these thoughts, these fantasies continued to torment me it burns, oh how it burns like a wildfire spreading through my veins crippling me with unending agony, as it sets my nerves ablaze its smoke, suffocating me as it fills up my lungs leaving me greedily gasping for air as its absence painfully constricts my heart my heart, oh my poor dear heart forgive me, for I am only human I couldn’t help my self I couldn’t stop myself from feeling this way I do not know how to put a barrier against this this rush of feelings that is starting to take over me because if I could, then I would gladly do so oh, what I would’ve given for all of this to dissipate for it to vanish as if it was never there to begin with so that I could stop myself from hurting so I could prevent the pain that I know is coming my way from ever reaching my dear heart a heart whose aching for something it could never have but quietly wish for… so I lay here, wide awake for what could’ve been hours thoughts filled with nothing but you and me, and my ever-growing feelings for you I didn’t mean for this to happen It was never in any of my intentions to fall for you But I’m just a woman, a woman who fell hard and fast Whose heart, you unwittingly stole Held captive, in between the palm of your hands I would ask you to take care of it But that would mean confessing all of this And the mere thought of it is absolutely terrifying I wish that I had the courage that others had That I was brave enough to admit it, speak it out loud But I don’t think my heart would be able to handle it The thought of your rejection is already agonizing enough But to hear it fall from your lips? It would’ve crushed me, leaving me wrought in devastation So, as I close my eyes, I content with myself with the knowledge That I had the pleasure of knowing you, Of being able to build a bond of friendship between us That this is enough, it’s more than enough Because it’s better than not having you at all

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

✰ 𝖇𝖊𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖑𝖔𝖐𝖎'𝖘 𝖉𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖉𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖕𝖊𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖐𝖊𝖗 ✰

requested: yes / no 

plot: being the king of the disaster’s daughter and the lover of the most insecure boy on the world is fucking hard, but not for y/n ^^

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

-soo basically being loki’s daughter is very chaotic

-like, you are the biggest bastard’s daughter of the nine realms, but he never want you to hurt (especially when he’s hiding from someone)

-and that’s because he sends you down to the earth, to thor and the stark tower 

-thor pats your shoulder and annoys loki

-”don’t worry, brother, i got little y/n”

-you met peter at the school; it’s a little bit difficult to act like a normal midgard-girl, but you try your best

-you are very good friends with mj, because she’s distant with others, and you just try to fit in - mj don’t know too about your ‘little’ secret -so that’s just a perfect friendship, you two cringe together at the school things, and you don’t find the girl scary bitch you are loki’s daughter, you can deal even with hela’s big doggo

-once at history class, you two get in one pair to one project 

-you didn’t care about that much, but peter -who crushes you from the time when he first saw you- fluttering himself to the edge 

-”okay, peter, you are spiderman, you are a superhero, you can do it. y/n just a girl, yeah. you can do it.”

-but he don’t know who you really are oh so poor baby

-everything is fine, and you find tom actually pretty cute, plus he always helps you, even if it’s not about the project

-and when you look at the paper to solve the exercise, tom can’t help but stare at you, your fairness and beauty is so ethereal, but he can’t explain it

-before the project-day, you spend the afternoon at pete, and ned coming too because he sleeps there - he carries one big lego-building in his hands

-and accidentally, when you three studies and the lego falls down, ned and peter just scream, but you use your power to levitate the object, and successfully place it down on the bed

-while you skip the outworld, the two boy drop their jaws - ned nearly throw up 

-when you are done, you look back, and see the two boys just sitting there, mouth opened

-you sigh, and start to panic “okay, please-” but then you realize that you can be far more scarier than this. “if you two tell this to anybody else, then i’ll kill you two, okay?” 

-”b-but what- what the hell was that, y/n?” tom stutters, and you sigh, cursing your father in your head like you always watch what i’m doing, where are you now, you- urrughrhurhg

-but then ned suddenly passes out, and you wouldn't wonder even if this is your father’s reaction to the whole thing

-so at night, when you two nurse ned, you tell your story to peter, and he tries to stay calm and understanding, but in his mind freak out comes after freak out

-peter eases when you tell him that you know tony, his mentor, and you two talk about peter’s spiderman-thing for a whole night - he feels much better that he can chat with someone about this

-and at one time around 3 or 4am, he offers you to sleep, and you two get very close to each other - and tom can't deal with his feelings, so he confesses for you his long-term love when he thinks that you’re asleep

-”i wouldn’t thought that we gonna end up like this, but… i really like you, y/n, like really really” 

-you just smirk, and open your eyes a little bit “i like you too, pete. and don’t start to wonder about this, i have… godlike good senses.” he chuckles, and pats your hair

-”you are yourself a goddess, love, i didn’t doubt it for a second” 

-and from that day, you and pete are partners in crime ohh but this poor baby can’t do any bad, whilst you- you are the little fucking cool princess of the tricks and intrigues

-in a fight you help him to maximize his powers, sometimes arguing a little bit because he did a really dangerous movement

-showing him little tricks like teleporting, he enjoys so so much when you appear behind him and kiss his neck

-and of course that loki notices this, so at first he’s super insecure about peter, and give him the most scariest dad-talk

-”little do you know, midgard-boy, but i am loki, the god of mischief… and on other hand, the death. so if i hear just only one time that you harmed my y/n, you gonna beg for the good things like pain” 

-peter just nods his head and tries to be kind, and when loki disappears, you knock on the door to the occasionally sleepover

-you reassure him that your father don’t gonna make those things what he said

-”don’t worry, pete. he’s just jealous because i never had a boyfriend, but… yeah, he really can torture you, i saw a couple things and the guts and the blood is just blo-” “okay babe, i understand” 

-sitting at the top of the skyscrapers while eating icecream, look down to the walking people and talk about sweet nothings. when you feel bad, peter strokes your back and kisses your forehead, and tries to cheer you up

-”look at that cloud, baby, what do you think, what does it look like?” “i think... a smashed potato, maybe?” “smashed potato, hmm... that’s great. wait, are you hungry?” 

-some time, when you two walk in the city streets, peter begs for you to do some little magic, and you fill his wishes - even if it’s just a tiny bit of air-forcing 

-when you sometimes go back to asgard, you kiss your sweet lil bean deeply and curls his hair with your fingers before the ride 

-”i’ll be back before you blink two, peter-boy.” 

-and when you disappear in heimdall’s gate, he just smiles at the sky and whispers “i love you, y/n, i miss you already” 

-and peter don’t know, but you hear anything, earning a laugh from you - suddenly, the sky is filled with little clouds and rainbows because of you

-”i know, pete. i know.” 

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Ready for 💔 💔 💔? Jimmy: didn't bring a 🎻 in but there'll probably be a 🌧 about in a bit so go on Janis: Clearly you didn't watch enough back to school hauls to adequately prepare yourself Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: you'll never guess who found her way to the 'how to catch a man' side of youtube though Jimmy: if it's Helena I really am fucking gutted Janis: Unlikely Janis: less she starts making a big deal out of how her MASSIVE TITS are slowly crippling her Janis: 🐰 has gone full 🐰🥘🥣 Jimmy: what the fuck kind of emojis are them? Janis: it's not my fault there's not a decent pot! Janis: also pretend to be gutted or she will be Jimmy: [draws her a lil pot emoji obvs] Jimmy: Who's pretending? 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have to console thinking about Helena's MASSIVE tits Janis: 👏 dead convincing there Janis: like 💀👑 trying to talk her out of it 'cos she's FUMING Jimmy: should've asked me to do the job for her Janis: check your DMs I'm sure she has Jimmy: [sends her some of the hilarious random DMs he has been sent lately like a highlight reel] Janis: the 💦💦 is endless Janis: you're SUCH old 🗞s Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: at least you don't have to waste a load of 💸 on tat for her in a months time Janis: which is the only reason she's decided to get in a VERY committed relationship with a 13-year-old in the year below Jimmy: Tah for the reminder to crack on with this fake break up before then Jimmy: good job our kid's young as he is or I'd have to 🔐 Janis: I'm the one doing the breaking up, remember that first Janis: seriously though Janis: doing my head in Janis: get yourself 💐🍫 if you're this arsed gals Jimmy: 💰 on loads of 'em doing that Jimmy: should probably set up that 💌 bollocks you were on about before Janis: boys handwriting would be invaluable to 'em Janis: can't stop dotting their ❓ with ❤ Jimmy: can write with both hands an' all so it won't even be knackering Janis: show-off Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: just leave your shit chat up lines like that out Janis: dead giveaway Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I know what I'm doing Jimmy: just gotta decide who I wanna send ones that ain't been paid for to for the #drama Jimmy: and whose name I wanna 🖋 Janis: [list of the 'loved up' couples of the moment that ain't them] Janis: stick whoever you wanna see get smacked on there Janis: easy Jimmy: this school have a postbox for it or what? Janis: yeah Janis: any excuse to be cringe Jimmy: I'll make sure yours is MASSIVE, don't worry and a top work of 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: 😘 Janis: my biggest concern, OBVS Janis: if you're still here I can do it the day of for all the 💔 points for you Jimmy: we're all 🤞 Lucas'll get on the roof 💐🍫😍 and fall off but you might have to put up with ✨ pissing out all over you when you open a card from me and nowt else Jimmy: that's your 💔 Janis: looking for broken 🦴s Janis: disappointing but not surprising Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll get on the roof Janis: bet we can Jimmy: let's go then Janis: now? Jimmy: you got owt else on? Janis: obviously not Jimmy: so come on Janis: be easiest to get up there from outside the music room Janis: do you know where that is? Jimmy: direct me Janis: [do that] Janis: wait for me if you get there first Janis: sir is insisting I can't go piss because someone else just did, as if our bladders are connected Jimmy: can't do that to lasses hasn't he heard Jimmy: tell him you're about to 💀💀💀 of toxic shock Janis: sadly raging at him over my blob gives off big angry lesbian vibes Janis: and I don't actually have a bloody tampon to throw at him Janis: I'll just leave in a sec but he's being a twat Jimmy: have to be the fake pregnancy fall back AGAIN Janis: one up Asia's news a bit Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long ago were the PE cupboard 💕? Janis: I haven't got a diary Jimmy: 😱😱 It weren't the best day of your life! 😱😱 Janis: best OF the day, how about that? Jimmy: bit rude of Asia to nick your phone Jimmy: I get that she don't want her big day ruined but Janis: 😏 Janis: like she's suddenly a top codebreaker Jimmy: #plottwist Janis: 🤓🤓💕 you 2 Jimmy: you 2 more like Jimmy: her being a dickhead means she likes you, DUH Jimmy: must be what the phone nicking were really about Janis: plottwist, they're all massive gays Jimmy: they're going on about sleepovers whenever I open the group chat Janis: you're that cliche? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: just saying it won't be a massive plot twist Janis: in your dreams, dickhead Jimmy: *nightmares Janis: 👻 do I hear someone protesting? Jimmy: Bill's lurking about loads when I get fuck all 😴 he knows I ain't pissing about wasting what dreams I do have Janis: Nice of him to entertain you Jimmy: you've seen my other offers Jimmy: didn't fancy none of them Janis: Fair Janis: he's got some witty bants at least Jimmy: he does alright Janis: better than the alternatives Janis: if I had a sleeping pill hookup, I'd take 'em myself Jimmy: you wanna watch out on that roof, mate, dunno how he'll feel about such a backhanded compliment Jimmy: steady on, bit rude to all the 🐑 hanging about for you to count, that Jimmy: how many #haters you want? Janis: you can pretend you pushed me if you're worried Jimmy: I 💭 that were the point of going up there Jimmy: no need to pretend owt Jimmy: we'll both be 💀💀💀 Janis: alright Janis: [show up] Jimmy: ['bit awkward if you've found a will to live' said like a saucy challenge] Janis: [just a look like does it look like I have? as much of a challenge as we try to find the way up onto the roof 'cos you know it's not that well hidden or secured] Jimmy: [a LOOK because always but we're also helping not just making intense eye contact forever lol] Janis: [remembering our sims school there was multiple levels so maybe you can get on the second story roof if not the third, anyway, letting you 'cos we can, even if you've got to do some lowkey parkour here, help each other and don't die] Jimmy: [it's a mood so we must, I hope your ribs are a bit more healed boy, don't do yourself further injury please] Janis: [rest when you're up there and we're just LOOKing at you like what now] Jimmy: [lighting up 🚬 for you both and doing heart shaped smoke rings because we're on a vday theme which you can totally show her how to do for some #content while you're up there] Janis: [can only imagine the funny face you're gonna have to pull to achieve that which thank god or it'd be too hot already] Jimmy: [all I can think about is when Liam and Edie were on the roof of that house they were staying in and he said he loved her so RIP me and them] Janis: [oh yes I remember that, soz we killed you guys] Jimmy: [anyway give her whatever doodle you've done today as well so she can have it in person cos I like to think you've not seen each other yet] Janis: [always love that, so much that we have to walk away and be peering over the edge dangerously just to diffuse that situation] Jimmy: [jimothy will probably pee over the edge just cos he can haha] Janis: [boy perks] Jimmy: [and they were talking about going for a piss and stuff like that always makes you want to] Janis: [you can't girl we're not falling off forreal, so hold it and contend with finding shit to throw onto the next roof down] Jimmy: [likewise join in with throwing stuff until there's nothing left and you can take your turn to LOOK at her like what now] Janis: [sharing that intense eye-contact for forever like] Jimmy: [we're not breaking it but we are pulling her closer to us] Janis: [writing 'morning' somewhere on his arm, whether we have to pull up his blazer or whatever to do that, we is] Jimmy: [writes 'good' on her in the same place because it is a good morning now we've seen the bae] Janis: [✔ like same] Jimmy: [teach her how to sign it because why not] Janis: ['we get it, you're good with your hands' 'cos mentioning being ambidexterous earlier and we KNOW so] Jimmy: [😏 and kiss her like excuse you I'm good at this too] Janis: [no room or energy to disagree here hen] Jimmy: [nobody's likely to appear and interrupt you up here lads so just enjoy that alone time] Janis: [we know we're gonna, even though it's January and this is scandalous because duh, how can we not] Jimmy: [you have done and will do way worse so] Janis: [should post those unfy smoking roof pics as we're getting down though so everyone knows you were up there but teachers can't actually prove that you were so] Jimmy: [if the teachers are checking your socials they'll get arrested hens] Janis: [easy mr lucas] Jimmy: [but yeah everyone will be well jel, blatantly gonna be a new thing for everyone to try and go to the roof now] Janis: [have fun getting caught losers lool] Jimmy: [not soz you'll never be JJ and living in a rom com] Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😇🏹💕 Janis: You got the little nappy outfit ready to go, yeah? Jimmy: #kinkunlocked I get it Janis: 'course Janis: what girl wouldn't be 😍 Jimmy: 💀👑 probably prefers wearing them, THANK GOD she's not my target audience Janis: did she ever fake that she was 😍 over you? Jimmy: and have to put owt in the tip jar? Jimmy: SO funny, you Janis: cheek when she's allegedly the most minted Janis: making Asia make it rain 💦💸 Janis: mad she really don't fancy anyone who's not 50% of her though Jimmy: that'll be how she stays 💰💰💰 Janis: keep it in the family? Janis: 👍 Janis: bit extreme but Jimmy: if it were her only reason Jimmy: but she's OBVS 😍😍🤤 an' all Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: she in your lesson? Janis: Yeah Janis: and #2 Jimmy: What do you wanna do that'll do their heads in? Janis: 💡❓ Janis: all they keep talking about is Asia and her new boyfriend Janis: how do we pull focus from how un-goals that is when we're always 💯 Jimmy: could just break them up Janis: I'm not fucking a 13-year-old and I don't think it's a good look for you either Jimmy: never said we had to do owt with him but get in his head Jimmy: not like it'd be hard to convince the lad she's being a massive slag Janis: true, true Janis: she's only gone with him 'cos she knows he ain't gonna dump her because older girl clout Janis: and she wants the 🎁🎁 Janis: well rude Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: the school therapist'll be after him when Asia's done if Lucas ain't Janis: honestly Janis: only the right thing to do Jimmy: [edits some of the many Mia cheating pics they have to look like it could be Asia but in a pisstakey way because we're literally in class so we can't do it properly but like in a is this worth doing way] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: that's nightmare fuel, for sure Janis: no wonder you ain't sleeping Jimmy: sleep paralysis demon, her Janis: terrifying, poor boy Janis: but she's got way too many pounds on 💀👑 for that to work Janis: 🤔 what if there was somewhere else he'd rather be Janis: no matter how 🔥 she reckons her 🍑 is Jimmy: not gonna get my sister with him now he's been anywhere near her Janis: Not exactly what I had in mind Janis: bit weird your head went there, tbh but still Janis: you wanna throw a party anyway, yeah Janis: why not do it then a fuck over any girl thinking she's getting a romantic date night? Jimmy: bit weird they're the same age @Asia with that one Jimmy: but DUH Janis: she's only 14, being fair Janis: sounding more and more like 💀👑 by the second Janis: obvs it goes against every dating rule she has so she's 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: feels dead wrong to split 'em up if that's what she wants Janis: at least it'd give them something else to chat about Janis: all this 💘 is making me sick already Jimmy: has to be a way to do that any road, it's fucking ages til we can have that party if we're doing it then Janis: yeah, I guess so Janis: well keep 💭 then Jimmy: I were 💭 what's another 🎁 that ain't another desk? Jimmy: any 🥇💡s? Janis: 'cos I just do this shit all the time Janis: I don't know Jimmy: Oi, don't be getting mardy with me, I only asked Janis: well don't bother asking questions I clearly don't have the answer to Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you already do all the drawings and far more shit than any lad they go out with Janis: like the whole point Janis: I don't know how we'd up that Jimmy: I said alright Janis: now who's being moody Jimmy: you Jimmy: that'll be why I'm leaving it out Janis: piss off then Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: nothing, what's wrong with you? Jimmy: you're being a dickhead Janis: how am I? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: let's just drop it Janis: sure whatever lesson you're in is as equally thrilling as mine Jimmy: or just tell me what's wrong Jimmy: 'cause you were alright a bit ago Janis: I'm just Janis: it don't matter Janis: it's fine Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it can be Janis: 🤫 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: come on Janis: it's alright Janis: just everyone else getting on my nerves, as per Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what? Janis: be my mate Jimmy: I am Janis: sorry, alright Jimmy: what were it you said, it don't matter Janis: yeah but Janis: change the subject or something Jimmy: put me on the spot a bit there, dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: but you're such a natural conversationalist Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't stop thinking about you long enough to put a sentence together Janis: that's very smooth considering Janis: keep saying things like that, who wouldn't be jealous Jimmy: just how I feel, must not have as many dickheads in this lesson as you Jimmy: ☀ Janis: I'm not not thinking about you Janis: I just don't know what to do about that Janis: maybe less so Jimmy: What do you wanna do about it? Janis: how many lessons you reckon we can realistically walk out of? Jimmy: the rest of 'em Janis: Why are we even staying? Jimmy: we're not Janis: That is the best idea you've ever had Jimmy: I dunno, I reckoned the roof were a decent shout Jimmy: but I get it, soz it took me fucking ages Janis: You didn't get how I felt about the roof? Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: might've had some idea Janis: I can show you again but you know Janis: little rude Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Crap with words but there's loads else I can do Jimmy: I were gonna say I heard what I needed to up there but Jimmy: there's loads else I want to Janis: Don't be #overit yet Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: you just want me to 🗨 how not over it I am Janis: so? Jimmy: I already did do Janis: then I must've really meant it Jimmy: you've got nowt to worry about Janis: good Jimmy: Where we going? Janis: We can go to mine if you don't wanna go to yours Janis: or do you wanna go DO something Jimmy: be #goals whatever happens Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: I'm not thinking about #goals even though that's true Janis: I am thinking about how many times I could make you cum on that fucking bus ride Janis: come to mine, no one will be there, so there's loads of things we can do Jimmy: I just meant that bit don't matter but if I were thinking it did before I don't now Jimmy: and you've already sold me on the fucking bus ride so owt else is a bonus Janis: 😁 seems like a bit of a pisstake but Jimmy: it won't be Jimmy: except for the 👵🚍👀 Janis: They go to town at the crack of dawn Janis: shouldn't be loads Janis: but I can make you forget about that as well Jimmy: I don't care if there is loads Jimmy: I told you, I can't stop thinking about you Janis: It's distracting Janis: you are Janis: but fuck this place anyway Jimmy: *you are Janis: you started it Janis: and I'm not sorry Jimmy: I'm not sorry I started it Janis: Good Janis: it's Janis: working for me Jimmy: you'll forget about whatever's doing your head in in a bit Janis: already have Jimmy: come here then Janis: only if you ask again Jimmy: please Janis: 😍 Janis: okay Janis: [run babies run] Jimmy: [I know you only just went back from the hols but fuck school tbh] Janis: [we aren't that bothered ever but truly, you're both smart enough to pass just fine, we got life to be living and love to be falling into] Jimmy: [got a really long bus ride to be extra through soz not soz it's a whole vibe] Janis: [we're about it, and we can show you the actual decent stuff about the cali residence 'cos it's not the place we dislike it's the people rn soz guys] Jimmy: [we all know it's a cool af house even if there are a 10000000000000 cats] Janis: [lmao, at least they gonna be less fussy than Twix so you'll be alright lads] Jimmy: [have a lovely time but probably avoid your room gal since we're not drunk af like we were on christmas eve] Janis: [we know there's nothing there to show it's fine, y'all can chill wherever you want] Jimmy: [love it for you, honestly surprised you ever bother going to school rn tbh] Janis: [only 'cos we clearly can't hang around mcvickers 'cos they're both old enough to be retired even if they're only semi-retired, and you have to take Bobby to school so like, may as well not like you can get extra shifts when they know you're 15 and not out of school] Jimmy: [and it's an easy way to be #goals as they've already proved with the desk escapades] Janis: [mhmm, and an excuse to see each other you so don't need now but you know] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do we wanna do anything when they are at the gaff etc?} Jimmy: [probably nothing too heavy but if you've got anything you want to happen we can] Janis: [lbr, we know we're being cute af and saucy] Jimmy: [I'm devastated that you can't stay forever as will you be, but at least you'll have a fair while even with the long af bus which is only gonna be fun on the way there unless you're leaving together too] Janis: [you should probably stay gal as the school will call to say you went missing and you'd be better to deal with that rather than have her think you've run away again lol] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [Gonna be fun going home to Ian, I hope for your sake boy you've got work for a bit first for that reprieve even though it'll probably make him angrier cos you're gone longer] Jimmy: 🥺👋 Janis: [mhmm, like get over it Ian it's one day but ANYWAY] Janis: I wish I could've come Jimmy: and I wish I could've hung about a bit longer Janis: fucking real life, eh Jimmy: nowt'll be more 💔 than if the ☕ start cracking on making themselves and I have to look out for a new way to earn 💰 Jimmy: but I get that you wanna be my fantasy, girl so I won't call it a bit rude that you're 🗨 all that just then were fake Janis: Never happen Janis: they like the fake smile on your face when you give it 'em Janis: not fake Janis: just not 💩 like the rest Jimmy: I'll take all them assurances, tah for not getting too near a compliment Jimmy: thought it were gonna be a bit touch and go at the end there Janis: not to mention the carnage if it was self-service Janis: only afford the steam burns if they're paying you minimum wage Janis: 😘 Janis: shut up Jimmy: not just any dickhead can pull off that many scars Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: 😏 Janis: I get it, you want MORE compliments Janis: not like I just spent all day showing you how hot I think you are Jimmy: or more worthwhile wounds Jimmy: unless you're gonna kick off about there being no more time or space for them an' all Janis: Oi Janis: don't make me sound like that bitch Janis: cheek Janis: 🔪 you any time you like, you know that Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: can never have it in writing too many times Janis: you trying to get me done for not keeping my word? Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: don't bother going back on it and you'll be alright Janis: should've known Janis: you're all the same Jimmy: can't 🗨 you didn't know what you were getting into, Jennifer Jimmy: 🐷💕 Janis: my dads rolling in his grave Jimmy: still 🤞 you and your fake tan'll put mine in his Janis: I'll put on my nan's accent Janis: turn it up a notch Jimmy: 😂 Janis: or just intro them Janis: he'd feel so #attacked Jimmy: only if you can promise me she'll chuck a bible at him Janis: 🤞 Janis: can't promise much about her but it's 99% Jimmy: it's a date then 🍷🍞 Janis: 😂 Janis: enjoy Jimmy: be PROPER awks if we've misread this and she ends up my new mum Janis: She's still got delusions about being the pastor's wife Janis: she's too nosy to settle down and have her own life anyway, you're fine Jimmy: poor bloke Janis: your dad or father daddy? Jimmy: not chucking any sympathy Ian's way Jimmy: he's always got the full orchestra playing for himself, there's no need Janis: got ya Janis: I'll make it up to him whenever I get 'round the repenting Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: bit of time with me on my knees'll sort him right out Janis: fuck off Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos I want him Janis: get your own boyfriend, bitch Jimmy: thank GOD Pete'll be in Janis: 😒 Janis: shot myself in the foot there Jimmy: made your 🛏 have to lie in it with the hot priest, you Janis: 😣 😖 😫 Janis: don't be mean Janis: it was an involuntary reaction Janis: being a twin means you don't want to share anything Jimmy: you're alright, I'm more forgiving than him and his mate in the ☁s Jimmy: might let you be my mate again eventually Janis: aaaaand share your boyfriend, yeah? Janis: thanks 💖 Jimmy: be up to him, that Jimmy: but agreeing to having a go at being his lead 🎤's bound to make up his mind Jimmy: the lad he got last time you said no is shite Janis: Oh God Janis: do they play the CG? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that gonna make you rush in or steer clear? Janis: I'm not sure I can fake the enthusiasm Janis: and yes, that IS saying something, thank you Janis: tell him to 📞 me if they ever start getting paid Jimmy: @ him yourself Jimmy: loads of jobs but none of 'em are as your messenger boy Jimmy: ain't chucked 🗞️🗞️🗞️ about for ages Janis: you're such a slag Janis: called playing it cool Janis: look it up 🤓 Jimmy: look up frigid Jimmy: 🥶🥶🧊 Janis: piss off Jimmy: didn't reckon on that rumour being the one that were true but here we are Janis: don't be a twat Janis: you literally know it isn't Jimmy: still feel free to remind me whenever you like Janis: yeah, really convincing that Jimmy: What, you need MORE convincing than earlier on? Janis: oh, now you're calling me a slag Janis: make up your mind and shut up, yeah? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you planning to leave me with my 💭 this whole 🚍 ride? Janis: I should Janis: but it is longer than the journey to hell so Jimmy: you have left me loads to think about, give you that Jimmy: 🏆🥇 Janis: it's mutual Janis: is an understatement Jimmy: yeah, I felt that Janis: bit rude Janis: every time I think seeing you is gonna get you out of my head Janis: never does though Jimmy: bit rude that you want me out when you've said you've not got owt else on Janis: yeah but I can't be around you all the time so it's just inconvenient Jimmy: I'm not stopping you and my 👻 manager'd have a job to Jimmy: and we've already proved school can't Janis: If you're still there when I've dealt with my ma Janis: could Jimmy: if not you know where else I'll be Janis: yeah Janis: I do have work to do and all though Jimmy: OBVS Jimmy: 🐕's can't 🏃 themselves without the owners getting right mardy Janis: Thank God Janis: can't be arsed to sing for my supper yet Jimmy: after though Jimmy: you can do us a lullaby Janis: you just want me to sleep over Jimmy: Oi, don't make me sound like them huns Janis: 💅💄🍿☕️🧸💖 Janis: you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: will you hang about if I let you chuck 🧸s about and smack me with a pillow or what? Janis: your nightmare not mine Janis: but as you asked nicely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What song do you want? Janis: 🎶😴 Jimmy: what song do you wanna do? Janis: [list off some hilariously inappropriate lullabies] Jimmy: number 6 Janis: 😏 Janis: thank god the little ones deaf Janis: hate to be a bad influence Jimmy: 🖍👂 were bad enough Janis: mini 💘story is worse Jimmy: but that's nowt to do with us Janis: 'course not Janis: so pure and real Jimmy: be worse if they hated each other like him and Amsterdam, never be able to chuck him anywhere Janis: yeah Janis: and she's annoying whatever she's 🗨 about so makes no odds to me Jimmy: we better start being the NICEST ever to your nan so he can sleep there and not piss on our party plans Janis: that'll involve you not being as nice as you wanna, perv Janis: tone it down Jimmy: tone down your jealousy, Jules, I'll come to your window an' all Janis: She don't fancy you, sorry to break it to you Jimmy: she's not gonna admit it to you, dickhead Janis: She's not gonna be able to fake that with a remotely straight face, more like Jimmy: must be where you get it from Janis: better than you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: no Jimmy: based on what? Janis: erm, all my performances vs yours, OBVS Jimmy: mine's been as good as yours Janis: hmm Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you're just being a twat 'cause your fit nan 💕s me Janis: and you're just mad 'cos Will wouldn't even cast you as a background character Jimmy: he has done so that's even more bollocks you're chatting now Jimmy: should be chuffed she's not going blind, babe Janis: bit awkward to boot you now Janis: massive head, takes a lot to shift Jimmy: far as excuses go, a TOP athlete like you should have better Jimmy: 🥉 if that Janis: let me start auditions first, arsehole Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: stop it Janis: you're the one being a twat, twat Jimmy: how am I? Janis: Where do I start? Janis: I'd rather just not, as I just said Jimmy: at buying some time before you have a proper go 'cause you know I've done nowt wrong, by the sounds of it Jimmy: but alright Janis: I didn't say you'd done anything wrong Janis: just that you were being annoying on purpose Jimmy: Why would I bother with that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: the answer is I obvs wouldn't Janis: OBVS Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you stop it Janis: I'm not doing anything Janis: so yeah, alright Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: I'd be in the group chat if I were trying to 🗨 in 👍👌🙄 Janis: not my job to entertain you is it Jimmy: I never said it were Jimmy: if you were on the clock it wouldn't be like pulling 🦷🦷 trying to have a word Janis: oh, whatever Janis: I don't like talking, that's not news and it's none of your business Jimmy: and you've heard I like talking to you when you're not being a MASSIVE dickhead Jimmy: give me a clue when that'll be Janis: I've got other shit on Jimmy: and I've not? Janis: I never said you didn't Janis: that was you Jimmy: I'm just not using it as a bollocks excuse to be a twat Janis: I'm not excusing anything, I'm saying you don't know what I do or don't have on, at any point Jimmy: 'cause it's none of my business, you just said Janis: basically, yeah Jimmy: whatever, as you said an' all Jimmy: in a bit Janis: later then Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you're gonna have to leave this some time and I'm gonna have to fix it, well done gal, not leaving it too long though 'cos not that deep so just deal with it, you could still be on the bus tbh lmao] Jimmy: [seeds are being sown and honestly yeah it is a really long bus ride I hope you left yourself enough time boy or you'll be late for work] Janis: sorry, okay Janis: just ignore me, I'm just stressed Janis: you've not done anything Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: how stressed you are Janis: yeah, I know Janis: you don't need that ever Janis: let alone before work Jimmy: @iantaylor8 before I get back, might stop him getting a mard on an' all Janis: He's gonna be raging? Jimmy: when's he not? Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to bits I gave him something to have a go about Jimmy: you talk to your mum yet? Janis: Any excuse Janis: not like we had anything important on today Janis: or ever, really but you know Janis: she won't be back for a bit Janis: just avoiding my sisters in the meantime Jimmy: how many 🐕s you done? Janis: got six here that all walk together alright, get that in before she's back Jimmy: 💰 on my sister not having done ours, you can use that as a reason to piss off when you need Janis: If she ain't seething, might drop me off Janis: save the dog's bladder bursting whilst the bus goes round every fucking street on the way Jimmy: didn't go back at lunch, might already be 💀💀💀 Janis: shit Janis: what time is your dad back? Jimmy: probably will be,  have to check the 👞👟🥾 Jimmy: house'll be trashed if nowt else Jimmy: meant to be 🕠 but it never is Janis: I can leave a note at mine Janis: be there well before he is Janis: only took a day off, say I got that period or whatever Jimmy: not your problem, no need to cause any with your mum for the 🐕's sake Janis: it's not a problem Janis: just replying that I hadn't run away earlier when the school messaged her was more than enough Jimmy: alright Janis: won't charge extra for mopping up piss Janis: didn't think, when I said we should go to mine Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: mop up piss or 💭🐕💔 Janis: you can't, you're already doing a job so Jimmy: he can get the mop out, it were his 🥇💡 to get a dog Janis: may as well though Jimmy: IOU then Janis: nah Janis: 'cos IOU Jimmy: Oi, don't be turning me down Jimmy: any time you fancy having a piss on my floor, I'll sort it Janis: 😂 Janis: thanks Janis: big #kinkunlocked obviously Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I'm allowing it Janis: Well considerate of you Jimmy: sound more shocked, Joanne Janis: I ain't Jimmy: good Janis: you know I didn't mean it Jimmy: What bit? Janis: not wanting to talk to you Jimmy: I got that when you started talking to me again Janis: yeah, alright Janis: just saying Jimmy: what's gonna make you 😁? Janis: Is that what you want? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: not like I've spent ages today trying to do it or owt Janis: I can not be a moody bitch without being 😁 though, honest Jimmy: and I can make you 😁 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you have Janis: loads Jimmy: it don't matter if your face ain't stuck like it Jimmy: I'll have another go Janis: what about you? Jimmy: What about me? Janis: What emoji do you want me to make you? Jimmy: your fav obvs Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll do my best Jimmy: I get it, you know Jimmy: what you said before about the rest being 💩 Janis: it just really shows how shit everything else and everyone is Janis: how boring and just Janis: bit of a headfuck Jimmy: yeah and I get it an' all that you have shit you have to do but Jimmy: I meant what I said about you not having to go nowhere Jimmy: my 🏠'll be trashed and the 🐕's a dickhead but you can still hang around whenever you want Janis: I don't though Janis: not in comparison to you, that's just the truth Janis: it just makes me sound pathetic when you put it like that Janis: but thanks Jimmy: shut up, you've got a job same as me Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know I ain't gonna hold it over your head that your mum ain't chucking 👶s at you to look after or being a massive bellend all the time Jimmy: what kind of weird 🎻💔😭 bollocks 🏆s is that? Janis: well I knew you'd hate it that's why I didn't say it earlier Janis: I'm just not trying to take the piss with stupid non-problems Jimmy: everyone's got shit, not just me Janis: yeah Janis: and I've got plenty Janis: being stressed about skiving school ain't one of 'em though, it weren't that Jimmy: I never thought it were Janis: I've got a handle on it now though Jimmy: alright Jimmy: made that 😁 challenge even more piss easy for me then Janis: You mad about that or Janis: I can make it harder again easy Jimmy: go on, I ain't 🙀🙀 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 me Janis: 😶 there you go Janis: complete blank slate Jimmy: Tah Janis: Yeah well, all the pressure Jimmy: that meant to be a ✔ or ❌? Janis: it means I'm doing what you asked and giving you an actual challenge Jimmy: that consideration's catching Janis: great Janis: need a cream for that, do I Jimmy: might do if it starts irritating you, like Jimmy: 🤞 it don't react with your fake tan Janis: is red more or less offensive than beige? 🤔 Jimmy: less Jimmy: colour of 🩸🌹💘 Bill's fav, that Janis: we already know he 💘s me Janis: about making your dad 😡🤬 not me Jimmy: already did do Jimmy: nowt challenging about making Ian fuming Janis: yeah but that's what you want me to do and keep doing Jimmy: it's not why I want you to stay Janis: it'd be a bit rude if that was all you wanted me for Jimmy: I just mean he's not the reason I do owt Jimmy: doing his head in gives my sister something to do with her 😡🤬 but he don't matter to me Janis: yeah, it isn't about him Janis: but getting him fuming enough you can all go home is, I mean Jimmy: which ain't even been working Jimmy: as plans go it were never 🥇 Janis: what letter plan was it? Jimmy: you know I can't count, mate Jimmy: dunno my letters either Janis: we don't have to talk about it though Janis: not right now Jimmy: We're here so whatever goes I had at getting him to not take the job or owt I did to try and stop us from leaving didn't work Jimmy: what's to talk about? Janis: you're giving up? Jimmy: never said that Janis: alright Janis: I get it Jimmy: do you? Janis: you either haven't thought out your next step, or I can't help you with it and it isn't my business Janis: either way, don't wanna or have to talk about it now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: not a total idiot, cheers Jimmy: never said that either Jimmy: feeling like one 'cause you had a massive strop is nowt to do with me Janis: fuck off Janis: 1. I didn't 2. Weren't talking about that no more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you rolling your eyes at me for Jimmy: what you mean you don't get that? Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: wow Janis: nice Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm not staying, pay me whatever you would your sister for the dog Jimmy: I don't pay her Jimmy: @ my dad for his rates Janis: obviously not Jimmy: don't come then, even easier, that Janis: It's nothing to do with you Janis: the dog needs walking Jimmy: not by you Janis: why not Jimmy: why are you SO bothered? Janis: because it's needless and cruel Janis: it isn't hard Janis: and it's literally what I do so just shut up Jimmy: it ain't hard for my sister to do it Janis: is she going to or are you fobbing me off Jimmy: not a 🧠📖 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I don't need your permission, I'm going round anyway Jimmy: you don't get nowt so don't act like you do Janis: fine, take your 🎻💔😭🏆 and shove it Jimmy: ✔ Janis: so glad you're happy Jimmy: so glad you ain't lost your sense of humour Janis: the gags that I never had one, so where's yours Jimmy: Dunno, maybe you'll find it when you're pissing about at mine Jimmy: places the spare 🔑 has to get left are getting weirder and weirder Janis: I'm just knocking Janis: you might be arsed but doubt your sisters stopping me doing a job for her Jimmy: be about right Janis: be weird id she cared Janis: if* Jimmy: no weirder than you reckoning she'll bother to answer the door Janis: You're being ridiculous Jimmy: that's you Janis: no, it ain't Jimmy: yeah it is, this 🐕💔 being the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: I told you why Janis: not rocket science Jimmy: and I told you why not to, neither's that Janis: I didn't say it was your fault but it's not fair on the dog and you know that Janis: I'm not gonna pretend I don't 'cos you're pissed off with me Jimmy: 📞 the rspca then, be doing me a bigger favour than this bollocks is Janis: if you wanted to, you would've done it yourself Janis: the kid 💕 it and that's why Jimmy: funny way of showing it she's got Jimmy: can't even do something she gets 💰 chucked at her for Janis: yeah and that hardly takes a genius to work out either Jimmy: no need for you to get your head round what's up with her an' all Janis: stop acting like I'm fucking therapizing you Jimmy: stop doing it Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you better walk away gal but we're clearly going to attempt to walk Twix still] Jimmy: [at least he's not there so you won't brawl] Janis: [oh the drama mick] Jimmy: [oh boy, it's not her fault you don't wanna leave dublin anymore, well it is but don't be rude] Janis: [quite literally your fault but that's a convo we're not ready to have yet clearly lol] Jimmy: [a convo we've literally had twice drunk lol lol] Janis: [oh lads, we're literally in such a tiz, thank god you didn't stay home tbh] Jimmy: [don't need to have a blazing row with your poor mother] Janis: [make this Thing an actual Thing™ though that is lowkey the deal in the fam being suspish of you boy but still] Jimmy: [literally don't know how I'm gonna fix this because he thinks he's in the right here, sir your pants] Janis: [like he's not not but we didn't really get what he was saying 'cos neither of you was saying enough/the right things lol] Jimmy: [she's not a mind reader either jimothy] Janis: [fair, we're probably going to go out and get drunk somewhere so I could always come @ you] Jimmy: [good idea because that's not a luxury he has until work is over at least and even then not really because Ian will be throwing his toys out of the pram] Janis: [yeah, like he's really not gonna be in the mood is he but we'll do it anyway, good luck lmao] Jimmy: [how much later are we saying it is like is he at work or has it been ages?] Janis: [well it's fully a monday so like what kind of party would be happening, so it's probably on the earlier side like we're just 'hanging' somewhere and drinking, but by the time we come for you you can probably be leaving work/home like] Jimmy: [makes sense] Janis: are you okay? Janis: what did he do? Janis: can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: I'm not back yet, nowt to worry about Janis: oh Janis: it's not that late Janis: still so dark 🌨⛄ Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah Janis: but no too Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't like it when we don't talk Janis: but I'm not dying in a ditch, that's what I mean Jimmy: but where are you? Janis: at the park with some people Janis: not the park, a park though Jimmy: what park? Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I don't know, the one on [some estate he's not going to know gal but anyway, a let's get drunk in parks energy] Janis: it's not that cold, had my coat on anyway Jimmy: SO helpful, you Jimmy: it's not that cold now you're pissed, my dear Janis: That is half the point Janis: idk what you expect me to tell you, it's not like the park has a name, just a bit of grass and some swings Jimmy: I've got a map up 🤞 I get there before you 🥶🥶🥶 Janis: you're coming to see me? Janis: but you're angry at me Jimmy: I'm bringing you ☕ to warm and sober you up a bit, then I'm taking you to your nans Janis: I don't want to Jimmy: you wanna go home? Janis: god no Jimmy: you can't stay there Janis: not all night Janis: but it isn't even late Jimmy: not the point, dickhead Jimmy: I've got enough to worry about without adding you to the list Janis: don't worry about me Janis: I'm just trying to have fun Janis: I'm worried about you Jimmy: bit late for that Janis: 😠 Jimmy: don't you start, girl, I've hung up my apron now Jimmy: already on my way Janis: you can't try to seduce me to change the subject Janis: not that drunk Jimmy: weren't the plan Janis: why you talking like that then Jimmy: what? Janis: like Mias there and you want her to fancy you too Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: daddy 👏 energy 👏 Janis: anyway, literally said you wouldn't distract from the point so sh Jimmy: you Janis: but Jimmy: 🤫 Janis: sorry for caring Jimmy: it weren't what you signed up for Janis: not what you signed me up for, you mean Jimmy: go on, make it sound more like I forced you into something Janis: that's like Janis: the opposite of what I'm saying Jimmy: alright Janis: you keep turning things 'round and it's not what I mean Jimmy: just say what you mean Janis: I am Janis: I'm trying Janis: I just don't want you to get really hurt again but I can't do anything about it Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about it either Jimmy: how do you think I feel? Janis: I can't imagine Jimmy: don't Jimmy: 💭❌ Janis: I were never saying I knew what that was like Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: not something I want us to have in common Janis: 'course not Jimmy: there you go then, can't have a go at you for not having a clue Janis: you can Janis: or you could just tell me what you do want me to do Janis: or say Janis: or not say or do Jimmy: that'd be taking the daddy energy a bit far, babe Janis: alright, not any other time, tah Janis: just let me fix this Janis: and not fuck it up again Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: there's nowt either of us can do Janis: okay Janis: I know that Janis: but how do I not annoy you about it Janis: because I don't think I can just fake that I don't know Jimmy: I don't have an answer I can just chuck at you Janis: okay then Jimmy: if I did I'd have loads of mates and a real girlfriend, duh Jimmy: that charming and social, me Janis: I'm glad you don't have a girlfriend though Jimmy: me and Bill's 👻 an' all Janis: I've got no friends either Jimmy: Oi, what am I? Janis: I don't know Janis: what are you Jimmy: 💔 RUDE Jimmy: I'm your best mate Janis: my best mate Janis: who I think about every time I cum, alright Jimmy: why isn't it? Janis: just confusing Janis: it can be both Janis: probably Jimmy: don't have to be if we just 🗨 Jimmy: it's been alright up til now Janis: very rude if that's your review Jimmy: shut up, you know what I mean Janis: do you want me to 🗨 or 🤫 Janis: just confused now 😏 Jimmy: I've missed you but if you wanna change my mind about it Janis: no, no Janis: I can behave Jimmy: making promises you can't keep Janis: cheek Jimmy: we'll see when I get there Janis: I missed you too Janis: I don't know what's wrong with me Jimmy: other than being a massive pisshead, you mean Janis: psh Janis: what else am I meant to do Jimmy: you want a list or what? Janis: yes, go on Jimmy: 1. 🗨 to me 2. come 👋 to me and my 👻 manager 3. workshop a 💀💀💀 scene with Bill 4. 🐕🏃 5. @ Lucas or 💀👑's dad for a lift Jimmy: just off the top of my head Janis: 1. we weren't 🗨 2. so I couldn't 👋 even if your manager actually existed 3. he's your mate 4. you definitely didn't want me to do that earlier either 5. just admit you want me 💀💀💀 now like Jimmy: 1. gotta start somewhere, Jessica 2. he were actually about, believe it or not! 3. he is with THAT attitude 4. I definitely don't want you spending all my 💰 either 5. I ALWAYS want to 💀💀💀 you, I've admitted that before Janis: 1. what's this? 2. so sad I missed him/my chance to seduce him for a job then 3. #ladsladslads with him forever 4. only said that 'cos you made me mad and I said for like a five not ALL your 💰 not that stereotype 5. then why are you letting either of them do it instead? Jimmy: 1. but before or instead of getting off your head were the point 2. 💔 for you and him both 3. speaking of, how many lads off that estate am I gonna have to smack before we can leave? 4. you still fuming at me or what? 5. never said I'd let it happen, just that it could do Janis: I'm not still mad at you Janis: it was a solid 60% my fault anyway Janis: I don't even know what we were talking about or then why we weren't, really Jimmy: then how do you know owt were your fault? Janis: 'cos you've explained since Jimmy: I were being a dickhead, it's not you Janis: no, it's alright Janis: you weren't Jimmy: I were and it's not alright Jimmy: you're the only bit that's not shit and taking the rest out on you ain't gonna change them, it'll only fuck this up an' all Janis: I'm not looking to make any of it harder Janis: that's not what a mate should do Jimmy: and I made it loads easier for you a bit ago when I already knew you weren't 😁 Janis: that's really nothing though Janis: stupid high school level shit Jimmy: meant to be cheering you up, that's what I said I'd do Jimmy: not nowt that I did the opposite Janis: okay, but I wasn't helping you none neither Janis: so we can be even Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: am I going to need to come find you? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: um, a really valid one from experience Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm not the one who's pissed, tah very much Janis: you exaggerate Jimmy: you take the piss Jimmy: I'm not lost Janis: okay, okay Janis: it'd be rude not to check Janis: you could die Janis: or 🥶🥶🥶 Jimmy: too northern for that bollocks Jimmy: what kind of truce is this? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: have a swing, I'll be there in a bit Janis: someone's hoyed 'em over Janis: so rude Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: never did answer me on how many lads I'd have to 🥊 Janis: Not sure if it was one of them Janis: I'll ask for you Jimmy: 💰 on it being you when you were FUMING Jimmy: trying to blame these poor lads now Janis: 😱 Janis: I WOULD NEVER Janis: pain to get back down, even if your da is like, freakishly tall or something Jimmy: never admit it now I've caught you out, more like Jimmy: know what you're like Jimmy: trying to show off and make the most of your 🦒 perks Janis: yeah, all these lads are SO cool Jimmy: never said it were for them Jimmy: might've been waiting to impress me Janis: well are you impressed? Jimmy: haven't seen the state of nowt yet Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: yeah 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: then I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: Would it make it better or worse if I come back to yours Jimmy: better this time, worse the next Janis: What would you rather I do? Jimmy: you know the answer to that Janis: but are you sure Jimmy: are you? Janis: I'll be fine going to my nans, for me Janis: I don't know what's better for you Janis: yeah, I can delay it now, or let it be less tonight than it COULD be Janis: but neither of those feels good Janis: so I just wanna do what you want Jimmy: so stay Janis: okay Jimmy: okay Janis: we could get rid of him the old-fashioned way Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I'll get lost Janis: seriously Janis: how hard can it be Jimmy: piss easy if you don't care about the bit where you get caught Jimmy: how you gonna walk my 🐕 from prison? Janis: well that's why we do it properly Janis: just need to do the groundwork Janis: keep slyly telling any nosy neighbours you're moving back soon because he's lost his job, so they don't @ him Janis: then backdate a resignation letter to send to his work Jimmy: then what? Jimmy: can't actually piss off back up north without the dickhead Janis: well, you could, ferry is well cheap Janis: what you'd do when you get there is another issue Jimmy: keep dreaming, baby Jimmy: it's never gonna happen Jimmy: you're stuck with me for a bit Janis: I don't want you to leave anyway Janis: not my dream Jimmy: what'd you bring it up for then? Janis: you could stay and we could kill him Jimmy: we'd be prime suspects Jimmy: and they'd take the 👶👶🐕 off me Janis: nah, 'cos if we sort work and your neighbours and move you in with me who's looking Janis: 💡 Janis: see Jimmy: your whole family'd be 👀🍿 Jimmy: and your 🐕 best mate'd be eaten by 🐈🐈🐈 Janis: hardly Janis: 2 of my sisters got married before they were 20 and one of 'em is dead Janis: can't say nothing Janis: don't fight how much sense it makes tah Jimmy: you're so Janis: fucked up? Jimmy: not what I were gonna say Janis: they are Janis: try and distance myself from it but Jimmy: if we were judging each other by our family I'd come off loads worse Jimmy: no tah Janis: no need to have the competition Jimmy: 'cause you're losing Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🏆 goes to me Janis: nope no no no nah Janis: you have no idea and you don't need it Jimmy: alright, stop going on about it and 🗨 something you want me to know Janis: 😳 Jimmy: go on Janis: bit on the spot, like you say Jimmy: but you're 💭 about something or you wouldn't be 😳 Janis: too bad you're not a 🧠📖 Jimmy: just have to read your body language instead Jimmy: [show up sir] Janis: ['scuse us random park people, biggest run and hug ever] Jimmy: [holding onto her for the longest time and we're not sorry] Janis: [lowkey like don't cry gal, so overwhelmed and drunk dangerous combo here] Jimmy: [gal we know all about trying not to cry Imma get you out of here asap] Janis: [not letting you say anything intelligible yet] Jimmy: [it's fine we're totally picking her up so we can leave] Janis: [soz not soz to the lads who clearly thought you were about to get off with them or something] Jimmy: [bye bye boys have fun] Janis: [hope you're near enough to his lads 'I'm really sorry'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and snuggling her as we carry her like] Janis: [sighs 'it's not' but we mean everything else so we're snuggling him back even harder Jimmy: [kissing the top of her head like yeah it is] Janis: ['you're the loveliest, that's what I want you to know'] Jimmy: [clearly 😳 about this because not what we expected her to say but we're also doing a little genuine smile so] Janis: [just softly stroking his cheeks though you probably can't even see in this light/state we just know, about to blurt something about but just about catching ourselves 'tell me something then'] Jimmy: ['are you gonna remember it?' cos we gonna catch ourselves too before being too extra] Janis: ['yes!' indignantly like how dare you, nudging him like go on 'I'll tell you another if you do'] Jimmy: ['alright, one thing I want you to know is how much this means' keeping it deliberately vague as if we're just talking about the Ian situation because we clearly aren't lol 'to me that you-that you're-' still not finishing our sentences though soz about it] Janis: [squeezing him wherever you're holding onto him, but gently please let's not fall and die here although 'I love you' not leaving like a sec here 'like I care about you, you know' and how rushed that last bit is like and I oop] Jimmy: [we've straight up died so whatever we say back is too muffled to understand because we're hardcore hiding in the bae and also using our softest voice ever] Janis: [casual panic happening in silence here but we move, meant it and can't take it back so at least you're drunk enough that you can't really try to run away rn] Jimmy: [lifting our head when she moves because we think she's gonna try and run away and that's a hard no from us 'always gotta one up me, you' but we're still using our soft voice so you know it's not a pisstake 'not gonna win the awards against you but I care about you an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like yes, that's what it was, of course 'just that good'] Jimmy: ['I know' giving her 😍 as we say it because we mean it] Janis: [going in for a makeout moment] Jimmy: [allowing it because he also meant it when he said he missed her and the feels are too high not to even though she's drunk and he's obvs not] Janis: [it's fine, we know we're being extra with it because we are drunk so it's not like you've got it wrong boy] Jimmy: [we're being extra too cos we're in our emotions and I don't trust you to speak rn sir, always makes me laugh like how far have we even gotten away from this park] Janis: [seriously, like you already said it girl you better stop lmao, I hope far enough that we're not giving a free show, also you're nearly at his but probably not knowing y'all] Jimmy: [hope you're at least off this estate so we're not getting whistled and shouted at by chavs cos that'll really ruin the moment] Janis: [like get that you're both in this moment but there's only so much you can ignore really] Jimmy: [I'll make it rain or snow if I have to lads so that'll move along, don't test me] Janis: [least you're gonna have some urgency by how hard we're going rn 'cos no shame] Jimmy: [an incentive to get home is very much needed cos Ian will be a delight] Janis: [I'm like gal do not speak that could be disastrous] Jimmy: [going upstairs immediately for all the reasons] Janis: [can't come for Ian and his life, it'd be amusing but make everything worse so not rn, in that bed tah] Jimmy: [we'll give you other opportunities gal but this is not the one] Janis: [not when you're drunk, not gonna be witty, just like fuck you bitch] Jimmy: [it's gonna be ages before you get back anyway cos we know y'all will keep stopping, never any chill] Janis: [we all know it, there is no chill now or ever] Jimmy: [hence I am making you walk, not letting you anywhere near a bus or anything rn] Janis: [do we wanna skip to being at his or to the AM or quoiiiii] Jimmy: [good question, we can probably skip to later at his because you can't avoid Ian forever, even if we're kind and say he's not around when they first get there] Janis: [what's your vibe like is he gonna come in and make Jimmy come out to talk or ambush him like what's the tea sis] Jimmy: [I feel like Jimothy's gonna have to go make tea at some point because it's his love language so he'll probably get ambushed in the kitchen then] Janis: [ugh SIR] Jimmy: [is nothing sacred you bitch, but at least she'll be upstairs so she can't brawl him and Twix will run up cos she will be scared so that'll distract you gal] Janis: [like if we heard brawling ourselves we would come down but I'd like to hope you're keeping it to shouting rn, have some shame dickhead, just look after this baby dog] Jimmy: [I would hope he is just shouting because he's that dickhead that wants to appear like he's not one and like what's to stop Janis telling literally everyone including her social worker nan so] Janis: [right, even if you think she's trash, I don't think you're being that dumb with it ever] Jimmy: [shamelessly just gonna bring the bae tea and biscuits as if that didn't happen] Janis: [trying not to be like !!! but we're also not gonna pretend as hard, patting the bed like come here] Jimmy: [obvs we do and do a feelsy lean when we're there cos we both need it] Janis: ['really wants Lucas to like him' because we know there's fuck all we can actually say to be of use, but we're tucking him back in and cuddling him] Jimmy: [a little lol because 1. funny 2. not what we expected her to say 3. relief that she hasn't said something that'll make it awks and that Ian didn't kick off any harder/try and kick her out] Janis: [equally small smile 'cos we love to see it but we do not love the rest of this situation so we're not buzzing obviously] Jimmy: [draw it bigger with our fingertip because we've remembered our 😁 challenge] Janis: [write LOL on him like okay, whilst we're here let's sort that out] Jimmy: [do some !! on her like epic lols please] Janis: [go to tickle him like it can be arranged] Jimmy: [obvs tickling her back like excuse you it's meant to be you doing it] Janis: [we are loling but still trying to tickle him and get him too] Jimmy: [never far from a playfight which I love for you and also I imagine that Twix is probably still around so joining in] Janis: [don't bark gal or do because we don't care about you Ian but bit rude to Cass, just pinning him and being like 'my offer still stands' which like, explain yourself but we're not lol] Jimmy: [also don't spill that tea or crush those biscuits/ let Twix get either of them while you're living your best life, obvs giving her a look like ?] Janis: [my boo always so concerned about the tea situation, runs a finger along his throat and looks meaningfully at the door like you know who] Jimmy: [I am and I'm not soz boo, but jimothy meanwhile is gonna just give you a lovebite/go over an existing one on your throat gal like I'd rather just kill you thank you] Janis: [doing the opposite of complaining about it] Jimmy: [taking the encouragement and going harder as a result of it duh] Janis: [when you can't breathe casually, pulling him closer into us 'please'] Jimmy: [kick that dog out so she doesn't cockblock you soz Twix, casually looks like you're like nope and leaving] Janis: [Twix is probably 🥺 but we definitely are x2 🥺🥺] Jimmy: [don't worry we're running back immediately to kiss you INTENSELY] Janis: [getting in his lap, duh, and looking at him for ages 'lovely' like yes, I was correct] Jimmy: [putting his finger on her nose like he's pointing at her cos no you] Janis: [grabbing the finger and then we're holding both his hands 'how am I going to make you happy?'] Jimmy: ['you already have done' because true that we've already forgotten about Ian's bullshit lbr cos we're in love] Janis: ['I could do better' 'you deserve better'] Jimmy: ['you just wanna take the challenge off me' because we can't even deal with our emotions over her saying that] Janis: ['I just wanna-' and kissing him again like let me show you] Jimmy: [a very enthusiastic response in all the ways possible because same] Janis: [have your moment kiddos, cannot express how much she's calling him baby] Jimmy: [cannot overstate how into that he is and will forever be] Janis: [being a perfect combo of intense but soft rn] Jimmy: [Cass gonna wish she was deaf too, first Ian shouting and now this lol] Janis: [thank god for headphones gal soz still not gonna be our fan for a while lol] Jimmy: [she's really not cos already had to dump Bobby on her when we had work then had to find Janis and now all this is shamelessly going on, soz gal] Janis: [it's fine, we'd hate us too in your position and we will win you 'round in the end] Jimmy: [I'm sure Jimothy will also do something to make it up to you cos he's just that bitch even though he's fuming at you for not walking Twix ever] Janis: [lowkey don't deserve it but you lucky gal and not shading you too hard] Jimmy: [we all know you're strugging rn gal it's okay] Janis: [not helping your brother but this isn't meant to be your job any more than it's meant to be his] Jimmy: [and we'll let you get your bf and friends soon and then you can walk Twix together] Janis: [and you'll be happy, despite the fact you go back up north, that's your business hen] Jimmy: [what if he sends her a valentine and that's what starts this lil otp] Janis: [that would be very cute do it] Jimmy: [like idk if he goes to your school or if he's putting in through your door or if he even signs it but we know bitch] Janis: [we should be nice and say he goes to your school so you have company but it should be a ? 'cos that's cute, I've only ever got one of those and it was from nannie haha] Jimmy: [I've derailed us but yeah that felt like a nice thing to happen amidst all the drama] Janis: [hohaha you'd be so embarrassed gal, be nice Jimothy aka shamelessly tease her] Jimmy: [simply must] Janis: [but yes, we're probably good for tonight unless you really wanna 'round 2 Ian] Jimmy: [do you wanna do the am?] Janis: [sure ting honey, it's a tuesday, so you'll be having to get Bobby ready for school and Ian will be gone so that's good] Jimmy: [leaving the bae in bed while we do our big brother duties but we will be bringing you breakfast gal you know it] Janis: 👋😪 Janis: you want any help? Jimmy: did I teach you the signs for hurry the fuck up? Janis: 🤔 Janis: [clip of her doing the thing where you gesture towards yourself frantically like LETS GO] Janis: ? Jimmy: that'd do Janis: does he know I'm here? Jimmy: he'd have come to ask you loads of questions about his missus if he did Janis: 💔 ouch Jimmy: if you fancy jumping out at him, the 🐕'll give you a hand knocking him about and getting his attention Janis: I'm not that offended Janis: be a bit rude Janis: plus if your sister knows I'm here, she definitely wants to see me even less Jimmy: but I might want to Jimmy: bit rude of you not to think about that Janis: Please Janis: I think about you ALL the time Janis: and you've seen a lot of me lately Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 are having a 💔💪🏆 Janis: she's FUMING at me Janis: I went to the bathroom and she was giving me 🔪🔪👀 Jimmy: the 🐕 or my sister? Janis: 🐕 Janis: your fault Janis: haven't you noticed her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Jimmy: Oi, nowt to do with me, I never said you went to the park without her Janis: you kicked her out Janis: I remember Janis: also she was scrapping at the door Jimmy: not my fault you never said that were a kink of yours Jimmy: should've if you wanted her kept in Janis: shut up Janis: I said she was mad, not me Jimmy: she'll get over it once I sort her breakfast out Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: for 🥞🧇🥓🍳 or in life in general Jimmy: obvs to eat, dickhead Jimmy: but if there's owt else I can do an' all, go on Janis: cheek that you don't wanna know all about my ambitions and dreams in the morning Janis: @ the gals with that relatable content Jimmy: I LITERALLY just said tell me so that's bollocks Janis: woe is me 😉 can't hear you over all my 😭 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: are you going to school today? Jimmy: are you? Janis: haven't got my uniform Jimmy: you can borrow my spare if that's the only thing putting you off Janis: school is always off-putting Janis: but didn't know if you were gonna go in to shut him up Jimmy: if it were that piss easy I might do Janis: yeah Janis: I'll come in, if you are Janis: I usually have mine in my bag but I left that at home when I went out last night, for some reason Jimmy: probably weren't planning on going, we still don't have to Janis: what do you want to do? Jimmy: if we don't go? Janis: well I meant are we going or not Janis: but go on Jimmy: whatever is the most #ultimategoals bollocks we can think of, duh Janis: do you reckon any of them have heard of bed peace Janis: 😴😴😴 Jimmy: will have once I'm done 📷🥇 Janis: you're gonna koala onto the side of me? Janis: you're basically scouse, yeah 😏 Jimmy: unless you fancy making another fort downstairs, been ages since the last one Janis: just say you want to babe Janis: I'll get started whilst you're taking him in Jimmy: only thinking of you 🦒 Janis: it's a bit of a squeeze Janis: stretched out rn though Jimmy: very subtle Jimmy: I won't hurry back Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: fine Jimmy: make up your mind, girl Janis: you know what I want Janis: read my mind, boy Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: compared to the school run, I'm a delight, obvs Jimmy: but hang on, some of them yummy mummies really dress up so you've got a bit of competition Janis: you have fun with that then Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 OBVS Janis: you're gross Janis: and I'm going back to bed Jimmy: actual 🤞 you don't 🤮 in my 🗑 Janis: I ain't even hungover Jimmy: 'cause I came and got you before you could get too off your head Janis: you act like you've never done it Jimmy: never said that Janis: What, then? Jimmy: nowt 🤐 Janis: why'd you come though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: why can't I ask? Jimmy: what's it matter? it's done now Janis: alright Jimmy: there's 🗨 you can read before I did Janis: that would require reading my own 🗨 Janis: I'd rather leave it 🤐 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll take the dog out Jimmy: what happened to going back to 😴? Janis: I'm not sleepy Jimmy: tah then Janis: no worries Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it doesn't need to be weird Jimmy: what? Janis: ➡️ ⬅️ ⬆️ ⬇️ ↗️ ↘️ ↙️ ↖️ Janis: this Jimmy: you're the one calling it weird to say it don't need to be Janis: I'm just saying I don't wanna start up the whole thing again, that's all Jimmy: that's alright by me Janis: okay Janis: ignore me Jimmy: I don't want to ignore you Janis: okay, don't, but I mean Janis: I'm not trying to be a dick Jimmy: I'll give you a 🏆 if you manage it Jimmy: 😏 Janis: fair but fuck off 😂 Janis: not going for 😇 fake gf Jimmy: what you going for? Janis: 😈 DUH Jimmy: you can have that 🏆 Janis: I'd fight you if you disagreed on that Jimmy: no need as it's fake Jimmy: I'll agree to owt as long as it's on brand Janis: that ain't fake Jimmy: last night it were Jimmy: SO nice you 😇🏆🥇 Janis: that was mate stuff Janis: not fake gf Jimmy: let's just be mates today then Jimmy: I'm 🥱😴 if you're not Janis: subtle way to say just be nice to me all day Janis: but alright Jimmy: I'll do it back, not that much of a dickhead Janis: doesn't sound terrible Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: 🤝 Janis: and I could sleep, so don't need to worry about me creepily watching you and/or stealing all your shit whilst you 🥱😴 Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: you've had loads of chances to do both before now Janis: gain your trust first, not an amateur Jimmy: and what, you reckon you have? Janis: yep Janis: like you said, could've easily done both by now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oi, are you saying I haven't? Jimmy: I said I weren't bothered about you thieving or 👀 at us 😴 Jimmy: don't mean I trust you, mate, just that I've got nowt worth nicking and don't reckon I'm 🎨 Janis: Psh, that's a blatant lie Jimmy: which bit? Janis: not reckoning you're 🎨 Janis: you and your massive head Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: if that weren't bollocks I'd be my own muse Janis: selfies aren't #art Janis: that's the truth, pretentious hipster Jimmy: take one and watch the fans disagree Janis: you do the same Janis: you know what you look like Jimmy: [obviously does because no fucks given ever] Jimmy: there you go then Janis: see Janis: you're Janis: your DMs will 💥 'cos I'm not in it Jimmy: have to take loads with you in Jimmy: good job you're not hungover Janis: I've not seen myself yet Janis: could be 👹 Jimmy: 📷 Jimmy: it's your go Janis: [a bed selfie where you clearly look good 'cos when do you not, bitches be mad] Janis: demanding, you Jimmy: if I were next to you there I would be Janis: 😳 Janis: rude to say that and not be Jimmy: I thought it'd be ruder not to 🗨 soz Jimmy: taking our 🤝 dead serious, me Janis: speechless is a bit far Jimmy: Dunno you might reckon the nicest thing I can do is shut up Janis: nah Janis: I've told you loads I don't mind it Janis: your 🗨 Jimmy: [a voice memo that's full of compliments about that selfie because of course] Janis: I already missed you Janis: you had to make me admit it, didn't you Jimmy: weren't why but I'm not fuming that you feel the same as me Janis: you shouldn't be allowed out of this bed Janis: s'what I reckon Jimmy: we can stay there long as you want Janis: ⛓😍 Jimmy: be like Lucas is about Jimmy: no need to go to english Janis: yeah, smart to mouth off to your captor Janis: think on Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Jimmy: you have been warned before Janis: damn, I thought you said thicc Janis: misled Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 for you Janis: yeah, pretty gutted Janis: you'll do for now Jimmy: til you @ some fatter northern dickhead Janis: have to change my tinder location Jimmy: not much of a #kink since you ain't even offered to make me owt for breakfast Janis: those are perks you've not even fake unlocked Jimmy: or answered what you want Janis: surprise me Janis: I'll get you something on the way back with the dog Jimmy: already outted yourself as not a real feeder, no need to follow through on it Janis: you don't like surprises...? Jimmy: you heard that I don't trust you Janis: it's breakfast Jimmy: it were you who asked the question Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: I do like surprises from you, the 🎄🎁 were good Janis: You ain't bad either Janis: no 🎅 shithead Jimmy: 💕 Janis: dunno how I'm gonna top it Jimmy: got ages before you have to Jimmy: not expecting THAT 🥇 of a breakfast, like Janis: wait and 👀 boy Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I get it, you want me to have to compete with whatever 🍳🍞☕️🥞🧇🥓 I'm knocking up for you Janis: How else will you learn, babe? Janis: or maybe I just wanna do something nice, dickhead Jimmy: what's 🐕🏃 if not that? Janis: nothing new Janis: feel like that's all I friggin do Jimmy: who 🗨 it had to be something new? Jimmy: not 🥱😴 of you Janis: **because I keep you on your toes Jimmy: you're still about, that's all I want Janis: tah Janis: proximity is your biggest selling point as well Jimmy: 👏 @iantaylor8 for pissing about in this shithole instead of the one he was born in Janis: I'll @ my grandparents whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant you being at my 🏠 still but alright Jimmy: if they wanna take a bit of credit for that, you did say you didn't wanna go there Janis: already rude you have to split it 50/50 with your dad so Janis: not technically their fault, even if they'd hardly be happy I got pissed on a school day Jimmy: bit rude you didn't save me any tbh Jimmy: but not a surprise so I can't be fuming about it Janis: weren't my alcohol Janis: you could've hoe'd for it like the rest of us Jimmy: read the room a bit and they weren't chuffed to see me 💔🎻 Janis: awh babes Janis: 😞😘 Jimmy: your fault that you were, could've toned it down 🤏 and let me have some mates Janis: excuse me, you weren't hanging about to chat neither Jimmy: convenient that, you chucking the blame back over here Janis: you could've chucked me back if you were actually arsed Jimmy: might've been a good shout but I had a look and none of 'em were as fit as you Janis: now THAT'S a compliment Jimmy: take it then Janis: How can I? Janis: so overwhelmed you fancy me more than a bunch of greasy 16 year olds in tracksuits Jimmy: you're in the right place to have a lie down, you'll be alright Janis: OBVIOUSLY I prefer to swoon directly into your arms but Janis: have to do Janis: long as you reckon I'm dead when you get back and top yourself Janis: 😩🤤 Jimmy: Bill wouldn't have owt else Jimmy: trying to get this ☕☠ as we 🗨 him Janis: he's so thoughtful Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [bring her whatever adorable breakfast you've made before she gets out of bed because we know what this gal is like] Janis: [shamelessly giving you a massive smooch like you're gonna be gone forever] Jimmy: [it will feel like forever and we all know it, also shamelessly doing a little photoshoot so his dms don't blow up and obvs no other reason like she's the cutest ever] Janis: [so domestic, so cute] Jimmy: [the effort to tear himself away I lol you'll be right back sir] Janis: [and we all know you're not going to school so like, you have all day kids, god bless] Jimmy: [too in love] Janis: [bet Mia will make one of the gals dob you in] Jimmy: [she blatantly will, that snitch] Janis: [like get over it henny, why have you got nothing better on] Jimmy: [your jealousy and bitterness is simply not bringing us down rn hun] Janis: [we're already in trouble and don't care so like, what do you think you're achieving] Jimmy: [you're just annoying Grace even more than you already do gal, sadly she has not yet yeeted and we will have to endure the notp of her and Harry] Jimmy: [jimothy meanwhile is living his best life sending the bae pisstakey pics of these mums on the school run] Janis: ugh, put your tongue away Jimmy: @ the 🐕 Jimmy: nowt but 😎🖍 here Janis: well that was SO 🤓 so Janis: speak for yourself, not him Janis: dragging down his playground cred Jimmy: alright 😒🌧 then Janis: you'll get all the single mums that ain't learnt their lesson after you then Janis: sensible ones trying to tempt away the nice male teacher or one of the active dads Jimmy: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: Asia's mum Janis: She would Janis: you should, at least make Asia fuming Jimmy: see if I can convince her to 🔒 our kid's BFF in a cupboard or some bollocks an' all Jimmy: send her off to wherever the fuck she's named after Janis: must look up to the 💀💀s more that one Jimmy: must take after Asia with her 🧠 AND 🦷🦷 Janis: Poor little fuckers Jimmy: should have the full orchestra hanging about on this school run Janis: right? Janis: it's well depressing Jimmy: 💔 you ain't trained the 🐕 to take him to school for us Janis: soz she still needs a babysitter herself, like Janis: she'll be out of the puppy stage soon-ish and less of a handful but Nana is still a bit of a 💭 Jimmy: convenient excuses them, Janet Janis: 😒 Jimmy: *😏 Janis: I thought you were trained better than this, tbh Jimmy: said as you're having breakfast in bed Janis: you're saying I should be telling you how grateful I am rn? Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: Hmm Jimmy: wind your 🦒 neck in Jimmy: I'm being nice Janis: Charming as ever 😂 Jimmy: [writes some v charming and extra post like there you go] Janis: it's gross yet impressive how fast you can turn it on Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: post about how fast you can turn it on would seem a bit cheap rn Janis: I'll be more 💕 too I GUESS Janis: [post it bitch] Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: now give me what the 1st draft were Janis: [something way more 🔥] Jimmy: you been holding out on me this whole time or what? Janis: can't distract you from your duties/milf hunting Jimmy: you've just proved you can Janis: alright, shouldn't Jimmy: why? Janis: because you're having SUCH a good time already Janis: what kind of mate? Jimmy: a TOP one, duh Janis: you haven't been that nice Janis: 💔 Jimmy: how have I not? Janis: aforementioned milfs Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I'm sending those pisstaking 📷 of them but I'm looking at the ones of you Janis: Jealousy isn't cute, I get it Jimmy: whatever you do is cute, every dickhead gets that Janis: you're not every dickhead Janis: and I'm not that bitch Jimmy: and the kind of dickhead I am is alright with who you are Janis: ew Janis: 🤫🤫🤫 Jimmy: Oi Janis: we don't do mushy Jimmy: calm yourself down, I'll chuck a pillow at you in a bit or some bollocks Janis: I'll start an argument if you like Jimmy: has been AGES since the last one Janis: 👍 Janis: so much fun Jimmy: for Bill, I'd be chuffed to leave it out with the #drama Janis: unlucky Jimmy: for you, not being able to compete with Ian when it comes to having a strop Jimmy: I'll live Janis: fuck off Jimmy: this you starting the 🥊? Janis: you'd know if it was Janis: so no Jimmy: 👍 Janis: let's not Janis: I can't be arsed to go into school Jimmy: you know I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then we're not Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'm capable Jimmy: never said you weren't Janis: you don't need to when you keep calling me stroppy like I'm Libi's fucking age Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Jimmy: call me what you like Janis: not feeling the 🤤 now soz Jimmy: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Janis: me and the 🐕 are out, if you rush, the bed will still be warm-ish Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: how much food she nick off you? Janis: erm she had to wait patiently until I was done Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: can't help being dominant Jimmy: send tweet Jimmy: I'll get one of the 🎻 to play for you Janis: for you Janis: 🥈 Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: ask Lucas, under me is EXACTLY where you wanna be, dickhead Jimmy: I'll @ him while I'm waiting for you Janis: better than the milfs Janis: he can't come 'round and seduce you Janis: #doubleenglishfirstperiod Jimmy: have to use his words Janis: if that's a hint Jimmy: for him that he can't half arse this just 'cause he's got one of Bill's classics to teach Janis: good luck Janis: he's way more touchy feely, despite the job title Jimmy: tah babe 😘 Janis: what's your angle Janis: besides being 2nd choice to me Jimmy: don't need one Jimmy: it's just that REAL between us, obvs Janis: 👌 Janis: what a nice change Jimmy: gotta have something to do when you're pissing about with this 🐕 Janis: thought you were 🥱😴? Jimmy: thought you promised me breakfast Janis: You can't nap and leave me to it? Janis: got loads of fantasies to be cracking on with, nothing else Jimmy: too excited, me Jimmy: you proper talked up how 🥇 it were gonna be a bit ago Janis: ✊💦 help you finish Janis: what a morning you're having Jimmy: don't keep you about for nowt Janis: aside from the fact I allegedly wouldn't go home Jimmy: it weren't like I were gonna make you Jimmy: or wanted to Janis: cheers Janis: if I was gonna argue with anyone Janis: better be you Janis: sorry Jimmy: we called a truce, you weren't allowed Janis: right Janis: be a bit rude to Jimmy: and you've got nowt to be sorry for Janis: I remember what we actually did Janis: so I know Jimmy: no hangover, not even that much of a pisshead in the first place, yeah I heard Janis: okay Janis: I know I was a bit Janis: not the end of the world Jimmy: not having a go Janis: thank god Jimmy: meant what I said Janis: what part? Jimmy: all of them Janis: nice and specific Janis: but okay Jimmy: alright, specifically not being a massive dickhead to you Jimmy: today at least Janis: don't worry Janis: you're never that bad Janis: not 🥇 anyway Jimmy: that's bollocks but sounds like 🥊🗨 an' all so I'll leave it out Janis: you reckon you're Ian levels of 🤬? Janis: nah Jimmy: there'd be a massive scale between him and me Jimmy: don't mean I weren't a twat to you before Janis: well you are a dickhead, don't need to apologize for who you are, like Janis: you're my mate, yeah Jimmy: your best mate, keep having to tell you Janis: I've still got the necklace Jimmy: be a bit rude if you'd chucked it Janis: don't just wear it when you're about Jimmy: don't just use my lighter when you are Janis: Your habit is pretty extensive Jimmy: 🚬's dead addictive, you not heard? Janis: 😱 Janis: and you let me have some Janis: wow Jimmy: not your daddy Jimmy: and it's a bit late for your growth to get stunted, Judith Janis: you're trying to make yourself feel tall Janis: that makes sense, Tom Jimmy: if I were bothered I'd chuck on a pair of 👠 Janis: or take a saw to mine Jimmy: I'll try not to go as far as fucking up your ankle again Jimmy: right ball ache that were Janis: why are you lying kathy Jimmy: Dunno what you mean Jimmy: ain't a 🪓 under this pillow or owt Jimmy: just me and my ⛓ how you're used to Janis: I'll come back then Janis: if you're promising no surprises Jimmy: [a pic of him snuggled in bed like see there's no danger] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you Janis: I've got the evidence right in front of me so Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 👀📷 Janis: I'd take better ones but there's nothing very sexy about freezing my nips off Janis: you can, when I'm back Jimmy: warm you up a bit first Janis: you will Jimmy: can easily promise that Janis: It's not easy though Janis: you're just good Jimmy: never been a hard job, can't take all the credit for that Jimmy: 🤏 you an' all Jimmy: probably have to share the 🏆 at least Janis: alright Janis: we can drink from it Janis: toast to how easy it is Jimmy: long as Bill's 👻 don't try and take over like the proud dad he is Janis: ☠ later Jimmy: he'll have to wait til after I've 💀💀💀 you loads of other ways Janis: you first in that respect Janis: always Jimmy: them lads from that estate'll still be fuming about it Jimmy: swings'll be 🔥 Janis: was never gonna get drunk enough to do shit with them 🤷 Jimmy: not enough drinks in whatever shop they robbed for you to wanna bother, I get it Janis: obviously Janis: not the only girl to ever fuck them over like that, they'll survive Janis: least they can't accuse me of being frigid without sounding stupid now Jimmy: if anyone's still calling you that it'll be me that's fuming Jimmy: what more have I gotta do, like? Janis: 🍆📹 they wish Jimmy: come here then Janis: 😏 Jimmy: *🏃 Janis: I get it, you need both hands free Jimmy: dunno what's ruder, that you're not well trained enough to leg it to me when I click my fingers or that you reckon I don't already have a tripod set up Janis: right, you're a PROFESSIONAL pervert Janis: excuse me Jimmy: get it right Janis: get yourself to church Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ your shit nan, see if she can pick me up Janis: I'll stop 🏃 then Jimmy: or just 🏃 faster Janis: you think I want to fight my nan again Jimmy: didn't know it were a habit Janis: oh Janis: yeah, obvs Jimmy: alright, if it stops you trying to 🥊 with me Janis: bit selfish but Janis: 👌 Jimmy: never said I weren't Janis: I definitely am so not gonna say nothing Jimmy: already said I like you, not gonna risk 🗨 it again after how that went Janis: no accounting for taste Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: got time to dry my eyes before you get back Janis: just about Janis: but I know you, so don't worry too much Jimmy: Oi Janis: I like you too Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: no need to chuck you out Janis: you promised you'd warm me up first Jimmy: 'course I will Jimmy: not an utter bastard Janis: I know Janis: fuck knows why I like you Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Bill's gonna do you a list, look less bigheaded coming from him Janis: 🤏 Janis: [come back now] Jimmy: [show her why she likes you with the most extra and enthusiastic welcome ever] Janis: [thank god everyone has gone so we can do what we like, even Twix be having her breakfast rn] Jimmy: [the actual freedom because that's never a thing for him] Janis: [true, when he's here the kids always are, live your best life honeys, not that you were being considerate last night but you know lol] Jimmy: [the feelings just keep getting higher, they can't be blamed or tamed, 100000000% gonna get in the shower together later and run up Ian's water bill too not soz] Janis: [hohaha you know he's the type to be fuming so we gotta] Jimmy: [he's gonna be so fuming when Janis leaves because you've skipped school again as well, not looking forward to that but for now, I'm buzzing for you both] Janis: [no, we're all worried about that, lowkey trying to never leave again but we know we have to soon, just like 🥺] Jimmy: [it's not gonna be nice, fuck you Ian, thank god things are going well for jj rn so if he kicks jimothy out in the cold or something post brawl at least we have the bae] Janis: [subtly moves self in so Ian can never kick off again, we know that that is eventually what's gonna happen but sadly not yet] Jimmy: [can't wait for that] Janis: [lowkey take over your house because what you gon do sir, look after your children? unlikely] Jimmy: [or out yourself as an actual utter bastard by kicking off, even more unlikely] Janis: [like you can be salty but if you even asked for rent or whatever to try and get her out she'd just pay it so soz] Jimmy: [so glad Janis has worked out what Ian is really like because it'd seem like he was making it up/ it wasn't as bad if she hadn't] Janis: [the injuries don't lie, and if he'd got them from scrapping or whatever he would've just said 'cos it's much less shameful so we know] Jimmy: [and soz but who would this soft boy be fighting you're not a massive slag giving him grief like his ex] Janis: [exactly, we already know he ain't that boy either so like, pretend all you like Ian, we see you] Jimmy: [not soz he's not actually Liam 2.0 and a mad lad] Janis: [you'll see eventually fam, anywhosers, do we wanna do any of their day or skip to when she's gotta think about leaving] Jimmy: [we can probably skip because we know the vibe when they're together] Janis: [when are you gonna think you've gotta leave hmm] Jimmy: [and am I making you go to work after school or not hmm] Janis: [that would make sense, if you go to work and you leave] Jimmy: [let's do that then why not] Jimmy: [probably go pick Bobby up from school first and maybe take him and Twix to the park or something for a bit because Cass gonna mad at you after last night so] Janis: [yeah, we can give you that time, he's primary so he probably gets out pretty early] Jimmy: you wanna come with me? Jimmy: do some ☕🎨 Janis: tempting offer, boy Janis: I DO need to perfect the 💕 for the BIG day Jimmy: for the fans who ain't 😎 enough for the smoke rings I taught you Janis: all of them? Jimmy: SHOOK that you've forgotten the dickheads who vape Jimmy: good to know you ain't getting me one of them for the BIG day Janis: I bet they have flavours that are well appropriate though Janis: all 🍓🍧🍨🧁🍭🍬🍫 Jimmy: gimme 👼🏽🩸 and 🥀 or I don't want it 💔 Janis: That's why you've invited me Janis: 🤞 I fuck up that bad Janis: who's first aid? Jimmy: Pete 😍🤤 Jimmy: had loads of 🩺 fantasies obvs Janis: UGH Janis: what can't he do Jimmy: NOWT Jimmy: 💪🏆🩹💕 Jimmy: need a 🤕 that looks chuffed to bits Janis: 🥴 with a bandage, deffo Janis: cannot wait for my third degree burns now Jimmy: they'll probably be about though Jimmy: 💀👑 and that Jimmy: so you'll have to fake that your 😍🤤 is @ me til they've pissed off Janis: oh, duh Janis: caffeine so needed after a long day of bitching about everyone Janis: I reckon I'll manage Jimmy: haven't had their IRL 👀 on us all day Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: You need the audience, yeah? Jimmy: they need the updates Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: hmm Janis: alright, hate to disappoint 'em, obvs Jimmy: make it worth your ⏲ with 🥪🍪🧁 if their 👀🔪🔪 don't Janis: just don't make yourself sick of me Jimmy: bit rude to be taking the piss out of my stamina Janis: you're rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: been 🥇😇 all day Janis: exactly Jimmy: I just Jimmy: don't want you to 👋 yet Janis: Me either Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: okay Janis: I just feel a bit Janis: the hangover might've caught up with me Janis: easy on the 🍪🧁 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a smoothie Janis: so behind my 💪🏆 Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: you can sit in the back again an' all if you want Janis: that's okay Janis: gotta have all 👀s on us to make it count Jimmy: nowt makes 'em more fuming than what they can't 👀 all I'm 🗨 Jimmy: you don't need to worry about chucking them the 🍿 if you don't feel alright Janis: should teach them to lip read Janis: but don't Janis: I'm okay, honest Jimmy: [teaching her how to sign stuff for if she doesn't feel well that won't be obvious to the flatwhites cos lord knows some sign language really is] Janis: [doing some you've remembered from a previous sesh like look, I've learnt] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😏 I know, so impressive Janis: Libi makes me practice with her Jimmy: without me having to @ her an' all Jimmy: must be 💕 Janis: DUH Janis: don't be acting like you haven't had your 👂 signed off Jimmy: it's alright, he's deffo gonna outdo me with his 🎨 and 🎁s Jimmy: probably keep it going the whole 2 weeks, him Jimmy: CLEARLY mutual Janis: Your influence Jimmy: except I dunno what I'm gonna get you that won't make you start a scale for it from 🙄 to 🤮 Janis: you don't have to get ME fuck all Janis: you only have to 1 up the basic 🎁 every lad does Jimmy: you'll be stuck with it, might as well sort out something that's not a load of shite Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll hit Bobby up for tips Jimmy: too soon for a 💍? Jimmy: he'd say it ain't Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna have to keep an 👀 on him Jimmy: least he's only got 😍 for Libi and don't take after me in being a massive slag Jimmy: be proposing to his whole class Janis: be well pricey if he's not reusing Jimmy: have to break into one of them machines once the shop is out of the sweet ones Janis: hoeing was meant to bring in the 💰 not lose it Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not gonna say you should give him tips Jimmy: still don't wanna 🥊 tah Janis: Not gonna break no baby hearts, so you're safe for now Jimmy: now I know you're feeling 🤢 Janis: you're gonna have to later Jimmy: what for? Janis: 🥊 Janis: not me Jimmy: I thought you meant 💔👶 Jimmy: not in the job description but alright Janis: 'course not Janis: be a weird rule to have at any of 'em Janis: ☕ or 💕 Jimmy: piss easy though Janis: that's not up for debate Janis: taking the 🍭🍬 is well known Jimmy: *🍪🧁 Jimmy: off you and them Janis: so tough Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I won't wanna go Janis: you promised you'd teach me how to do the thing Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: I'll make it worth your while Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: come on Janis: you know me Jimmy: and you know I'm only pissing about, Jules Jimmy: VERY impressive, you Jimmy: said it before Janis: I'll get you to say it again Janis: one way or another Jimmy: you can't just say that like it's nowt and we're just gonna go crack on with ☕🎨 Janis: why not? Jimmy: you know why not Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: you're so Janis: that's you Jimmy: you Janis: you did such a good job on your first job Janis: you deserve to have a good shift Jimmy: it weren't a job today Janis: true Jimmy: I'll call in sick if you want, my nursing kink ain't gone nowhere Janis: No, no Janis: we'll have a good time Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: you can but I'm gonna do my best Jimmy: you'd know I were faking if I tried to bother Janis: let's not Janis: even if they're there Janis: we can still work it Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Jimmy: it still won't feel like a job, however hard work 💀👑 and her mates are Janis: neither of us need it Janis: they'll see 😍 regardless 'cos they want to Jimmy: right Jimmy: we've done our 💕 posts Janis: and it's not like I'll be ignoring you Jimmy: or that I can ever ignore you Janis: they don't know the difference Jimmy: 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: and you do 💀💀 me Janis: really Jimmy: you're killing me now Janis: sorry Janis: IOU Jimmy: when you feel less hungover Janis: I don't feel hungover Janis: I just miss you and I'm gonna miss you Jimmy: no need to miss me now and if you do in a bit I'll do the balcony scene 🌹 Jimmy: gone further to come get you and I didn't get lost Janis: it was VERY impressive, baby Jimmy: do alright under pressure Jimmy: @ my manager Janis: I'll put it on the trip advisor review Jimmy: tah Janis: I'll keep it PG Janis: or at the very least be vague about which barista I'm fucking Jimmy: I get it, this were nowt but a plan to get Pete's girlfriend to piss off Janis: 🤫🤫 Janis: worked SO hard on this plan, you ain't fucking it up for me Jimmy: 🤐 for now but he'll get it out of me Janis: great, now I've got to have a threesome with you 🙄 Jimmy: need a different eye rolling emoji for that Jimmy: get a bit closer to your actual review Janis: don't you dare make me 😳 in front of him Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're 😳 whenever I'm about Janis: psh Janis: whichever way you look at it that's clearly bollocks Jimmy: you're 🗨 bollocks denying it, mate Janis: shut up Jimmy: make me Janis: you're on Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: sorted our kid out now, I can do you before we have to go Janis: 1. no you can't 2. don't add me to your to-do list Jimmy: 1. yeah I can 2. you're top of every list, don't be a dickhead Janis: I want you too much Jimmy: so come here Jimmy: there's loads I can do about that Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [I'm just like do we want these kids to ruin this for you or no cos clearly both around] Janis: [when we're gonna be so rude later we're like ahh have everything lol, you probably would get cocklblocked though being real] Jimmy: [hence I was conflicted because Ian is gonna be a huge cunt and hurt you boy but realism though] Janis: [you can have an enjoyable time at the CG before we make you say goodbye it's okay, like it's not but] Jimmy: [we're doing what we can lads, you're welcome] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to then now if you like] Janis: [skippity doo dah] Jimmy: [do we wanna do any of the CG stuff is the question or fully go to later] Janis: [we could just vibe out how the gals are 'cos we already said Mia and co are being extra like skipping school is so shocking, then skip to when they have to say goodbye 'cos it'll be emosh] Jimmy: [that's a fair shout I think because yeah we know that they'll be goals without trying so it's just how Mia's trying to be] Janis: ['cos soon she's gonna literally get him fired so clearly she's gonna be a cow] Jimmy: [making complaints like a Karen when he's literally done nothing wrong, we see you] Janis: [she should be like IS THAT GIRL TRAINED when he's letting Janis do some latte art, as if they're giving anyone the ones she's making, so then they have to stop] Jimmy: [that's so petty she would, like gal we weren't gonna serve it to you we're just having a nice time while there is a lull in customers step back] Janis: [seriously, excuse us tryna have fun, like we still will but clearly that's the vibe, any time they try to do something she's like UM] Jimmy: [yeah and any time he tries to go remotely near the bae's table she suddenly needs something as if he's the only barista here] Janis: Can she be our second victim? Janis: 🔪🔪 Jimmy: first Jimmy: no need to hang about Janis: I'll clearly poison her 'cos I dunno how to make a latte Janis: whoops Jimmy: could let you loose with the steam wand Janis: her face just looks like that Jimmy: exactly, can't be traced back to you Janis: I don't want Pete to give me his disappointed face when he has to give her a bandage and write it in the accident book though Janis: 😥 Jimmy: I'll say it were me, piss easy to get his forgiveness 😘 Janis: rude Jimmy: it's alright, I know how to get yours an' all Janis: you do not Jimmy: 😏 Janis: dickhead Janis: meant to be focused on the murder anyway, you've got well off topic Jimmy: Oi, well decent at 🤹 now, me Janis: you need to work on your 🏃 clearly Jimmy: get my 🐕 trained and then we'll 🗨 Janis: am I even qualified? Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: can you get 💀👑 to behave herself or what? Janis: could give it a go Janis: what's in it for me though Jimmy: other than getting to rub her noise in her 🤮 next time she pisses off to the 🚽 how dickheads do when their 🐕s piss, you mean? Jimmy: what else do you want? Janis: save on you cleaning it up, you mean Janis: but alright Janis: [go over to the gals table like they haven't been actively being bitchy like HEY BABES WHAT'S UP] Jimmy: [comes over too like is there anything else you need and just being subtly but not subtly touchy feely with the bae while you're there to annoy Mia like what are you gonna do bitch make a complaint cos I'm playing with her hair] Janis: [getting y'all a massive cake or muffin or whatever that you would never order yourselves like our treat!] Jimmy: [LOL I love that, Hollie will be buzzing] Janis: [finally some food, just force feeding you like what are you gonna do, say no and look weird? I think not] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: worth it for the 😨😰 Janis: just collateral the ones that eat occasionally are getting fed but I'll cope Jimmy: do you want owt or have they made you lose your appetite? Jimmy: tell me so I can fake that I 🧠📖 Janis: I'll take a smoothie Janis: bonus points that I can brag about how talented you are or whatever Jimmy: and she can have a go that I ignored a load of dickheads to get it done for you Jimmy: they must be 👻s an' all Janis: since when was 💕a crime, Mia Janis: must've been dumped Jimmy: when I'm 45 and undercover 👮🚔 but that's our secret so Janis: She'd be far too into you then Janis: no escape Jimmy: [IRL 🤫 cos he looks hot doing it and then it looks like they are being saucy with their convo lol] Janis: [🤭 energy back but not exactly that obviously] Jimmy: [😏😍 energy that is not fake because I 100% assume she's wearing his clothes rn cos not been home and looking cute af] Jimmy: [definitely giving as many LOOKs as we can while we make this smoothie] Janis: [she definitely is so that's adorable and we never need to fake this energy lbr] Jimmy: [you've never had to fake much of anything we know and that's why this works] Janis: [mhmm, faking an interest in y'alls convo however? very much so] Janis: please tell me you're due a 🚬 soon Jimmy: manager ain't about to stop me Jimmy: bit busy with his 👂🩸 from all her whinging probably Janis: definitely better not go out back as it's staff only Jimmy: What?! 😱 you DON'T work here? Jimmy: top ☕🎨 like that! Janis: I know right?! Janis: #hiremegreg Jimmy: [writes her a review as if she do work here] Janis: pretty generous Jimmy: [shows her some pics of his early latte art like look how shit I was] Janis: awh, baby's first ☕🎨 Janis: only got a few years before your brother comes for this gig too Jimmy: 🤞 they'll have heard of coffee in the north by then Jimmy: he'll be 💔😭😭 else Janis: 😏 Janis: you're not emmerdale northern, I remember, can't fool me Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: real 🤞 he's stopped copying me ages before that Janis: you'll lose your ✨ Jimmy: ⏲ Jimmy: [give her this smoothie with today's 🎨 on the napkin and a kiss on the cheek] Janis: [insta that in front of the gals, obvs, just showing you all how cute we are] Janis: 🤞 I don't forget and wipe my face with that Jimmy: 🤞 I've got my 📷 out when you do Janis: I won't Janis: 🐘 memory Jimmy: 💔 you'd look well shakespearian with a pen beard Jimmy: Bill's gonna roll in his ⚰ at the missed chance Janis: I don't need to think about him that excited, tbh Jimmy: 👻🎻 Janis: you're the slag, you deal with it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: leave you with whatever you wanna 💭 about instead Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: what happened to our break? Jimmy: nowt, ready when you are Janis: [run away because we are over this girly chat like let's go] Jimmy: [you lasted longer than I would gal hence Jimothy will light you a 🚬 cos deserved] Janis: [you can dramatically breathe out like PHEW] Jimmy: [do your own because we all know what you're thinking about but we can pretend it's either a pisstake of hers or in solidarity] Janis: [reaching out to squeeze the hand that isn't holding his cigarette] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on the back of hers but not establishing whether we're saying we are or asking if she is] Janis: [kissing the back of his] Jimmy: [kissing her dramatically because he cannot handle the softness rn] Janis: [we can go with that too] Jimmy: [just have a moment lads that's deserved too] Janis: [going in 'cos our emotions] Jimmy: [likewise because it's not like you care about all the people going past or that can see you inside] Janis: [keep going to say 'we-' and 'you-' like many times but never actually finishing either sentence 'cos you know he can't] Jimmy: [and don't talk to me about how tightly he's holding onto her because never mind this break not being long enough, this whole shift isn't and the goodbye and how evil I'm gonna be is looming over us] Janis: [gonna need someone to come through and break yous up we all know it] Jimmy: [thank god there's lots of possibilities for that cos of where you are] Janis: [someone else just tryna have their break lol] Jimmy: [soz but not] Janis: [truly] Janis: I'll brb Jimmy: Where you going? Janis: just need to get some stuff Jimmy: 🔪🪓🔧🔨🧱🧨🛢 I get it Janis: exactly Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: they should fuck off now 🤞 Jimmy: *🤞😁🤞 Janis: I'll do that whole way down the street, like Jimmy: 📷 it for us Jimmy: nowt else would do to make me 😁😁😁 Janis: ugh Janis: now I have to Jimmy: if you want a 🏆 or IOU Janis: [obviously we are] Jimmy: [have a lil reaction vid back as if we're not literally meant to be working because we're a nerd and in love] Janis: there we go Janis: all worth it now Janis: even though I looked like tiktok tammy Jimmy: 🦍🌃 Jimmy: you could NEVER Janis: compliment or diss? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: dunno Janis: 'cos if you're saying I can't dance like I'm having a seizure that's a lie Jimmy: you're gonna have to prove that now, you get that, yeah? Jimmy: walked right into making yourself look a twat Janis: you ask for any more 📷 and it's just gonna be weird Jimmy: alright, if you'd rather do it here in front of dickheads buying ☕ crack on Jimmy: I'll wait Janis: what about me doesn't scream 'loves an audience' Jimmy: what about me makes you reckon I'll be up for being your fake boyfriend after any of that bollocks? Jimmy: far as plans to dump me go Janis: you're the one asking me to do it, dickhead Janis: can't reverse psychology your way into getting to be the one doing the dumping Jimmy: you set yourself up, dickhead, nowt to do with me Janis: you could let it slide Janis: you already know I can dance Jimmy: I could Jimmy: you have got that IOU Janis: not what I'd use it for in an ideal world but Jimmy: might let you keep it and let it go an' all if I like the sound of what you would use it for Jimmy: am in a VERY 😁 mood now Janis: that'd be telling Janis: can't risk that 😁 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you said it were in an ideal world, nowt but 😁 there Janis: but that ain't where any of us is Janis: so no point Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: yeah Janis: you weren't meant to stop 😁 Jimmy: doing my customer service face, it's as near Janis: if you're an alien who's never seen a person before Jimmy: busted 💔 Janis: 👮=👽 checks out Jimmy: bit racist of you but I get it, the north does look like something out of a shite sci fi film Jimmy: all them fuming orange lasses with nowt on 🤞 for 👽 Janis: bit up yourself Janis: but won't disagree Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: maybe you should go back Janis: first, like Jimmy: what for? Janis: so your dad has to relocate Jimmy: might just still be about big enough for the both of us Janis: it might work Janis: if you keep doing a runner Jimmy: don't see that happening with 👶👶🐕 Janis: he'd get fed up of looking after them, right Jimmy: not leaving them with him long enough to find out Janis: okay Jimmy: or trusting Ian to work out where I'd gone even if I left a 💌 with a drawn out map Janis: he can't be that thick Jimmy: why can't he? Janis: it's impossible he's not heard what your sister wants Janis: ignoring it is another issue Jimmy: yeah Janis: anyway Jimmy: what he's too thick to work out is that she wants a person not a place Jimmy: that's how he reckons he can make it work here with his 🎁💰🐕 Janis: guess he can't give that anywhere Jimmy: he could give her her mates back who were there and know about it, instead of this bollocks where it only gets 🗨 for each new Sharon who comes about Janis: so tell her to do it Jimmy: what makes you think I can tell her to do owt Janis: it's what she wants to do, so help her do it so she doesn't fuck it up Jimmy: she's a kid, I'm not helping her piss off on her own Janis: not permanently Janis: just so he has to do something about it Jimmy: no Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not alright, what the fuck's wrong with you? Janis: she's 12, not 2 Janis: and you said she has friends, all it is is showing up on their doorstep unannounced and waiting for their parents to call Jimmy: she's my sister, not some dickhead I don't care about that I'd use to score points against him Janis: I didn't say you had to, it was just a suggestion Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I said alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: what? Janis: forget it Jimmy: forget what? Janis: don't be a dick Jimmy: you started it Janis: by trying to help, sure Jimmy: I never asked for it Janis: nah, 'course not Jimmy: you don't know her Jimmy: and if she got it into her head to go looking for my mum instead of pissing about at a mates for a bit, fuck knows what'd happen Janis: like it's going to be easy to convince your dad to move back when he moved for a reason Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Jimmy: I know how decent his job here is Janis: you either want to do something about it or you don't Janis: and you clearly don't so that's what forget it means Jimmy: stop having a go at me Jimmy: you clearly don't have a fucking clue about what I do or don't want Janis: this is pointless Jimmy: yeah, it is Janis: bye then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: I'll be over the road when you want your stuff back later Jimmy: it's nowt I need back in a bit Janis: then I'll leave it there Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [what do you wanna do like after he's gone home and dealt?] Jimmy: [I'll hit you back up because I was thinking injury wise like obvs it makes sense for them all to be hidden still because Ian is probs suss of Janis so like whatever healing his ribs have done they are probably fucked again but if it's lowkey that whole side of his body his wrist and arm would be an easy one for people to maybe notice at school but not think is a big deal because people hurt them all the time by putting them out when they fall etc and he can write with his other hand anyway but because we want some #drama and none of the bruises will be !! for a couple of days he could also have a dislocated shoulder as it's painful and shock factor for her to having to pop it back in but easy enough that she could without anyone else having to be involved] Jimmy: You still over the road or what? Janis: yes Janis: do you need to come in? Jimmy: come out Janis: ok Janis: [do that quickly 'cos we've clearly just been waiting] Jimmy: [I dread to think the state of this poor boy just trying not to cry outside mcvickers gaff like hey] Janis: [we're gonna be really shocked but pretending hard not to be like okay, just trying to survey the damage 'what do you need me to do?'] Jimmy: [show her your shoulder boy like nbd just casually pop this back into place because we're lowkey in shock here hence we told her to come outside even though you're gonna have to go in because you have to do this while he's lying on a bed you can't just do it here] Janis: [just gonna lead you inside without touching you or saying anything, just gesturing like come on 'it's okay' which is the furthest thing from the truth but what else can you say rn] Jimmy: [thank god you can trust her not only to do this but to not tell anyone because what a big ask when we're literally a month in] Janis: [lowkey, thank god you have a room here too, gonna rip your top off instead of trying to get it off 'cos impossible and bunching it in a way to make a decent gag because don't need to bite through your tongue or scream the house down, letting him get ready in that much and getting on the bed but not giving him loads of warning because best way to do it] Jimmy: [last we need is Libi or mcvickers rocking up and interrupting any of this so well played gal because he is not in a headspace to be helpful rn] Janis: [at least its one of those things where it's better once it's done so that'll be some minor relief for you, still, 'sorry' though 'cos it's fucking gnarly 'wait here' and going out to the bathroom, thank god they're old and probably have some decent painkillers, have to cross that bridge later when they think you've taken 'em for fun gal] Jimmy: [if he was thinking clearly he would not have come here because you already know too much gal and more importantly isn't not fair to make you do this when you're literally supposed to get xrays and shit first but here we are and you know he's saying sorry too and also trying to stop her from leaving even though she's literally just going too the bathroom and we realistically know that] Janis: [just keep telling him it's okay over and over 'we need to get you comfortable, okay? then we'll-' trail off 'cos we don't know and we know that's gonna be a journey to get there] Jimmy: [just nod because we know she's not wrong you do need those painkillers] Janis: [get as many of them down you as is safe boy, thanks for having a decent stash guys, also bandages we're gonna try to make use of now, taking his hand gently 'do you think any of the fingers are broken?'] Jimmy: [they gonna be suss about where all this has gone you're gonna have to lie convincingly gal, but for now we're just moving all our fingers by like messing about doing the signing alphabet and stuff like cos I'm gonna let you live and say they are okay] Janis: [sigh of relief like okay, we don't need to splint any of those, checking to see if he can bend his arm and how high he can etc before settling on splinting the whole forearm and then doing a sling 'he does realize you'll probably have to take more time off school now, where's the fucking sense in that' basically to ourselves and under our breath 'cos we know it's not logical and also not really about that] Jimmy: [didn't realise when you were having all that fun fake nursing each other that it would come to this, did you lads? ugh Ian, but jimothy is just getting ready to go when she's done this like okay thanks bye as if I'm just gonna let you walk out and go back to big brother duties and whatever else you're thinking about rn sir] Janis: [putting a hand out like stop 'you can't just go back'] Jimmy: ['I can't just stay here' like you literally can boy it's okay] Janis: '[just sit down, you need to give yourself chance to catch up'] Jimmy: [when you do sit down without arguing or saying anything pisstakey and it's so unlike him that we all hate it] Janis: [sit in silent shock for a sec guys 'you know you can't let him do this again' 'you will end up in hospital'] Jimmy: ['you're acting like there's owt else I can do that I've not'] Janis: ['that isn't what I'm saying' 'this isn't working, not any more'] Jimmy: ['What then, you still want me to tell Cass to crack on making him more fuming than I ever have done, knowing what he's like?] Janis: ['has he hit her?'] Jimmy: ['not yet'] Janis: ['you're gonna have to consider possibilities you don't like, you can't live like this'] Jimmy: ['there ain't a possibility I've not, I've been living like this for ages'] Janis: ['this isn't just discipline or whatever the fuck, it's assault and he knows that, wouldn't you be better off without him?'] Jimmy: ['where do you reckon we'd go? They're not better off without me'] Janis: ['I don't know, all I know is, he gives you any more injuries, neither of you will have any say who gets involved, okay'] Jimmy: ['he's got away with it this long'] Janis: ['well he isn't now'] Jimmy: ['I didn't come here for you to have another go at me'] Janis: ['I'm not'] Jimmy: ['nobody knows fuck all about it and that's the way it's staying'] Janis: [just shrugging like okay and getting up to go 'get some sleep' Jimmy: [likewise getting up to leave and actually go home this time like okay bye] Janis: ['next time this happens, don't come to me for help, because this isn't fair' 'because I do know and I'm not going to pretend I don't again'] Jimmy: ['I shouldn't have bothered coming this time' because we know it's not fair and we're just very sad and frustrated by life obvs 'do what you like' because lord knows we would if we could] Janis: ['I'm not going to tell anyone' 'but it has nothing to do with what I like, Jesus fucking Christ'] Jimmy: ['and I'm not saying tah for you not being a massive dickhead who'd proper fuck my little brother and sister over' a shrug but we're maintaining eye contact because this is serious] Janis: ['it's not about them' because it ain't Jimmy: ['you tell anyone and they'll get chucked into care same as I would'] Janis: ['remind him of that, not me'] Jimmy: ['you don't think I have done?'] Janis: ['there are ways to make it a more serious threat'] Jimmy: [just an exhausted sigh because he's doing everything he can always and it's not enough ever] Janis: ['think about it, the last thing he wants is people knowing, yeah? well I know'] Jimmy: ['might work for a bit, til he's too fuming to be bothered and just tells himself no dickhead'll believe you or owt else he needs to'] Janis: [just looks at him like there's all the evidence needed 'not like it's being made up though'] Jimmy: ['alright, it might be enough to get him to fuck off back to the north and get us away from you, but that don't help me'] Janis: ['except he doesn't want to go back, as is very fucking obvious by now, so it'd be easier for him to stop beating the shit out of you than do that'] Jimmy: [a look like yeah obviously but that doesn't mean he will] Janis: ['it's accountability, if he keeps doing it, I could tell anyone, everyone- he clearly reckons you won't by now, he doesn't know that about me'] Jimmy: [just clearly thinking about if she did have to then follow through on that threat though and tell everyone and how much he obviously doesn't want anyone to know and all of this is just in his expression rn] Janis: [shaking our head like well there's fuck all else to say rn 'get some sleep'] Jimmy: ['stop saying that' cos clearly neither of them will be able to very easily] Janis: ['you need it to heal'] Jimmy: ['just say you want me to piss off, you've already said not to bother coming back'] Janis: ['I'm trying to fucking help you'] Jimmy: ['I know' in a purely frustrated way but then repeating it in a soft way because we do know that] Janis: ['I don't know what else you want me to do'] Jimmy: ['I never said I knew what I were doing or what you should' this boy trying not to cry again over here] Janis: ['don't' but softly 'cos we've been trying not to cry this whole convo lowkey and we don't wanna do it now] Jimmy: [doing a feelsy lean with our good side because we want to hug her but we can't] Janis: ['I mean it' and moving away so he doesn't hurt himself, but not dramatically like get away] Jimmy: [a nod because we know and we appreciate everything she has done and is trying to do more than we can put into words without crying rn ' but I shouldn't have made you do that' a look at his shoulder 'I'm a dickhead'] Janis: [shrug like it's nothing, like I'm sure you've seen dislocated shoulders but doubt you were the one putting them back in but okay 'don't mean you deserve any of this'] Jimmy: [a look like don't because we know it's not nothing and we're really sorry about this now we're thinking clearer] Janis: ['you didn't have anywhere else to go'] Jimmy: ['that don't mean it were alright to come here and do this to you'] Janis: ['I'm not the one battered and bruised, I'm fine'] Jimmy: ['I'm used to that bollocks, it's having someone be bothered about it that I can't get my head round' when you aren't used to having people care about you ever so you always feel like you're fucking it up] Janis: ['be a pretty shit person if I didn't' 'so I can see the confusion' not really the time to be salty about that but we are] Jimmy: [a lol which we then regret because ouch] Janis: [tryna be serious like 'for fuck's sake' but a lil bit 😏] Jimmy: [when you wanna kiss her so much that you've simply got to, injuries be damned] Janis: [at least your face is purposely avoided so you'll be okay but you can't go in sad times for you 'I'm sorry' 'that you think I'm having a go at you'] Jimmy: [shaking his head because he genuinely doesn't think that 'I didn't mean that it were just -' no need to finish that because she knows what you mean, we've all been put through it tonight honey and we've already admitted we've been a dickhead] Janis: [nods because yeah 'I was never saying it was easy, I don't think that'] Jimmy: [also nods because yeah 'and I weren't saying it were a shit idea'] Janis: ['I just want-' not finishing that sentence like never mind 'anyway'] Jimmy: [all the eye contact because always 'what?'] Janis: ['I just want you to be alright' mumbling and not giving more than a second of eye contact like you haven't already said ily and that you care] Jimmy: [posing to show off the amazing job she's done bandaging him up and 😁 like I am alright now as if it's that simple] Janis: [just like mhmm like that is not what I mean and you know that but we don't need to get into it rn it's okay] Jimmy: [pull her even closer to you because we do know what she means and we appreciate it] Janis: [checking him like be careful please 'I'm sleeping on the floor' it's definitely a double but we don't wanna hurt him] Jimmy: [gestures at the bed like um look how much space there is compared to what we've used to 'no need for that'] Janis: ['could make a pillow wall' like people who hate their partners do lmao] Jimmy: ['that'll be Mia at every one of them sleepovers, cracking on just like her dad taught her' shading Ella and Mia's mum in one go lol] Janis: [we have to lol 'poor els, no 'accidental' rub ups for her'] Jimmy: [goes to do the 💔 but can only do half so has to force the bae to do the other bit for us] Janis: ['so tragic' and lowkey forcing him to get situated properly in this bed as comfortably as possible 'what are you gonna say happened then?' 'cos can't hide for the whole time it'd take to heal] Jimmy: ['weren't planning to do a q&a about it' cos he's honestly not thought about it yet with everything else he has been thinking about 'don't matter as long as nobody reckons you smacked me about'] Janis: [a look like who is going to think that? then rolling our eyes 'cos is the type of thing Mia would try to say lol 'well no one is going to think you got it playing a sport' cheeky bit of shade as we are looking in the wardrobe and under the bed for something] Jimmy: [chucking a pillow at her for the shade like oi 'I'll say I fell over or some bollocks, worked for my mum'] Janis: [making a noise like psh but we're not throwing that back 'you tryna prove you have aim? alright, I believe you' and coming back with the pillow and the sleeping bag we've retrieved to sleep in so we're not rolling all over] Jimmy: [a look like you know how good my aim is because any excuse to be saucy about anything especially when we're so upset about this whole sleeping situation but trying to downplay it] Janis: ['thank god you're ambidextrous' meant to be taking the piss out of him but it just sounds thirsty so we're loling] Jimmy: [😏 'you'll have to tweet that so the fans know'] Janis: ['the offers to fill in whilst you're injured would probably be a lot'] Jimmy: [😒 because we don't wanna think about that 'won't be a slaggy nurse's outfit left in this shithole once they've heard' because also true] Janis: [likewise 'gross' and shaking our head 'there's nothing sexy about hospital'] Jimmy: [a fed up sigh 'I can't be bothered with this' like it's an option to just not be injured, soz boy] Janis: [squeeze his non-injured hand like I know 'it'll be alright, we'll work it out'] Jimmy: ['can we not just fake going away like we were gonna do at new year's?' probably not boy but it's a nice thought] Janis: ['it'd be easier to actually go away' but a tone that's saying, that's how long it'd need to be, not suggesting it] Jimmy: ['let's do that then' as if that's remotely plausible in any way] Janis: ['are you concussed as well?' and moving our fingers about in front of him like follow but 😏 'cos we don't think he actually is obvs or we wouldn't be joking] Jimmy: [takes her hand and turns it into a 👍 like she's agreeing to his great idea 'wouldn't even have to be for that long' because we know he's not gonna do the 2 weeks off that you're meant to when you dislocate your shoulder because he never does what he's supposed to] Janis: ['where are we going then?' as we lay down ourselves] Jimmy: ['where do you wanna go?'] Janis: ['don't care' because we don't 'what about you?@'] Jimmy: ['what makes you think I care?' because likewise we don't] Janis: ['then just not here it is' turning to face him in our little sleeping bag 'assuming the pain pills don't wear off and you change your mind'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile at the prospect of getting to leave for a bit together even hypothetically tbh 'when they wear off you might change yours' and doing a 😒 af face] Janis: ['this is you being a delight, yeah?' and do a feelsy lean assuming we're sleeping on his good side 'cos makes sense] Jimmy: ['that were me doing an impression of you remembering what a nightmare I were last time we went away' because that skerries domestic when she tried to get him to sleep in a bed we all remember those joys] Janis: ['bit rude' like how dare you insinuated I'm ever grumpy lollolollll 'you'll be less trouble now you're fucked up' but a sad sigh 'cos its not funny though we're trying] Jimmy: [taking her hand again so you can write soz on it playfully but then just properly hold it because we heard that sad sigh and we are really soz in our heart] Janis: [doing the 👌 symbol which is probs hard to follow so then just doing a 💕 like] Jimmy: [doing an irl 🤝 because best friends forever] Janis: [then tucking him in like go to sleep nerd 'it'll be better in the morning'] Jimmy: [goes to say something because it won't be but we're deciding against it so she doesn't sad sigh again and closing our eyes instead] Janis: [gently lean over and kiss both his eyes] Jimmy: [not opening our eyes or anything but 'I really fucking like you' with feeling because he do] Janis: [got to kiss you on the lips with as much feeling 'cos we cannot trust ourselves to say anything rn] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's been a very dramatic night]

[karmanticmoved]

20 OTP Questions

tagged by @courier-sux ♡♡

tagging: @pinaplelee, @jatne-jezra, whoever else has ships they want 2 Yell about

Dominick & Charon - "Violent Delights"

(I have yet to draw Charon, but here's Dom)

1. Who can out drink the other?

For the first couple years they work together, Charon could beat Dominick easily, if only because of how unaccustomed he was to drinking alcohol in large quantities. Once he builds up his tolerance, however, they're a pretty even match. But Charon can still hold up better than Dom when drunk.

2. Who says "I love you" more?

Neither of them say it for a long time, mostly because of Dominick refusing to act on his own feelings 'since he doesn't want Charon just.. Reciprocating only because of the contract. But when things are finally out in the open, it's likely Charon who actually says it more often. Only while they're alone, of course, but it always breaks through Dom's angry and bitter barriers and he never fails to say, or show that he loves him too.

3. Who has trouble sleeping alone?

Dominick struggles the most, after having grown up in Vault 101, surrounded by other people constantly. He doesn't admit it, but he gets a lot of nightmares that always end up worst when he sleeps alone. It takes Charon a long time to actually realize because of how closed off Dom is, but so long as he doesn't mention it, Dominick is almost always willing to sleep right beside, or cuddled up with Charon to lessen the stress and panic from nightmares. Being held.. Helps.

4. Who swears more?

Dominick swears more, but also talks more in general. He can't stop himself from involving himself and being a dick a lot of the time, and says way too many things he shouldn't. Most sentences that leave his mouth have some swear word in them.

5. Who does more of the housework?

Charon. Dominick is.. A little lazy, at least in terms of taking care of their house. He doesn't avoid it altogether, but he needs a push from Charon to actually remember that he should help.

6. Who forgets their anniversary?

They don't exactly have one, or care about specific dates as they don't keep track most of the time anyway. They do occasionally switch off on being sweet and treating each other though, similarly to anniversary dates or whatnot. Mostly, they're more like, every day could be our last, who gives a shit about specific dates?

7. Who steals the duvet in their sleep?

Dominick moves in his sleep a hell of a lot more than Charon in general, so most of the time, he steals the covers. But at the same time, he often curls into his chest or side, so it's too sweet to matter.

8. Who keeps the other awake at night with their snoring?

Dominick doesn't snore, but Charon does occasionally. It's rarely ever an issue though, since Dom is almost always the first to fall asleep just because of Charon wanting to watch over him and make sure he does get some sleep.

9. Who finds stray animals and begs the other to let them keep them?

Dominick finds stray animals, but he doesn't beg Charon to let him keep them, he makes that decision for himself, and Charon just rolls his eyes and goes with it. Because the bastard is a lil bit cute when he's all but draped over a puppy he found on the side of the road somewhere.

10. Who usually makes dinner?

They switch off. Charon has some good experience for using what they have available in the Wasteland, meanwhile Dominick has some experience from learning how to cook back in the vault. Sometimes, if they aren't exhausted, they work together.

11. Who plays their music out loud?

Dominick keeps his Pip-Boy tuned to Galaxy News Radio constantly, at least while they're on the road. He needs the background noise, and while Charon got annoyed at first, he eventually stops paying mind to it, and sometimes is amused by Dominick humming or tapping along to certain songs.

12. Who hogs the bathroom?

Neither of them. Charon doesn't care that much about his appearance, and Dominick is.. More insecure than he lets on, and doesn't like Observing himself. Being both ghoulified and having a lot of cyborg parts makes him :///

13. Who gives the most compliments?

They're about equal in how many they give, but it's all dependent on where they are, what they're doing, and the actual compliment. Charon gives more compliments in public, mostly when Dom does something to warrant them, or if he does need a reminder that Charon genuinely cares about him. Sometimes, the compliments veer more towards "you're dangerous and scary and it's hot ♡", which suits Dom just fine.

But when its Dom giving compliments, they're mostly in private, especially if they're doing anything sexual or like. Veering towards it. At first, it was like. General compliments without much weight, but after a while, Dominick ended up softening a lot during those situations (most of the time, at least. sometimes he's still. scary and hot.) and his compliments are sweeter and more specific.

14. Who usually starts/causes arguments between them?

It's almost always Dominick who starts arguments, and Charon who reaches out first after they've cooled off. Most of the time, they argue about Dominick's safety, mostly because of how many enemies he has and dangerous situations he puts himself in. They don't argue as much as it seems like they would, however, because of how startlingly similar they are, they can just talk it out most of the time.

15. Who isn't afraid to embarrass the other in public?

Charon without fail. Dominick isn't hard to embarrass, if you know what you're doing, and he gets a mix of flustered and angry, which Charon finds amusing every time.

16. Who gives the other cringe-worthy pet names?

Neither have a lot of pet names at all, but Charon enjoys the ones that get to Dominick in some way (mostly good ways), like boss, handsome, uhhh others I can't think of right now. Dominick feels weird saying pet names in general, but will very rarely go with more traditional ones like baby.

17. Who fusses over the other when they get sick?

Charon has to actually force Dominick to stay down and not make things worse for himself, meanwhile Dominick complains and sort of dotes on Charon, then complains even louder and eventually just cuddles up with him.

18. Who finds it impossible to stay angry at the other for long?

Neither of them can stay angry with the other for too long. Charon knows that Dominick is just bitter and very rarely actually means to make him mad, and he can be cute when he wants affection. And Dominick just.. thinks about how long they've stuck together, and that Charon cares about him even after he was an ass for several years, and he softens.

19. Who clings to the other for comfort when they're sad or scared?

Dominick is more willing to reach out first, albeit he does it without ever wanting to mention that he did again. He'll be the one to latch onto Charon at night or when he's upset, and tries to notice when Charon himself is upset, and will sit in his lap or collapse on him to give him comfort first. It doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated.

20. Who is more ‘physically passionate’? (hugs, kisses, or maybe more…)

Most of the time, Dominick is the first to initiate anything intimate, but after that, Charon does enjoy taking some control and continuing where Dom left off. On other occasions, when Dominick purposefully riles Charon up, he will actually be the first to initiate more intimate things, which Dominick thinks is great. Most times, they match each other in intensity, though.

[crankypotionsmaster]

Lily sprinted towards him - and at first, Severus grinned, pleased that she was as excited to see him as he was her - but as she grew closer and closer and the fierce scowl on her face became clearer and clearer...., oh Shit someone is in trouble 😟

"What book?"  ....playing dumb won't help you now

He cringed as his voice came out higher than usual; he thought that had stopped happening in the previous year, but he’d evidently celebrated too soon.....oh baby Sev

"Merlin help me, it is!" she argued, her green eyes seeming to pierce his soul.

"No, the magic, it's barely anythi-"

"-not the magic, you idiot!" she snapped.  She flicked the pages until she found a suitable passage and then she thrust it before his eyes.  "What does that say?"

He read it silently, and then lowered his gaze.  "...it's just old, Lil, that's all-"

"-and out of step?"  She gave him a hard stare.  "Is that what you tell the others, is it?  Mulciber?  Avery?  Lucius Malfoy?  That their views are out of step?  Old?  Outdated?"

He flushed, and tried to take the book back.  "I just wanted the potion about-"

"-or do you agree with them, is that it?"

"No!"

"Well then," she said, firmly, "you can only have this back-"

"-what do you mean, only?  I need to take it back to the library-"

"-only when you walk into Slytherin and tell the rest of your house that blood purity is nonsense.".....someone isn't fucking around today

He looked aghast.  "Lil, I can't, I can't-"

"-it's what you told me."

He knows what she's talking about.  He can remember the conversation - can remember the whole wonderful day - as if it took place yesterday.  

"Or didn't you believe a word of that?"

"I do," he said, earnestly.  "I do believe it."

She looked at him sceptically.  "Then why won’t you stand up to them?  I thought we were best friends."......i love that she calls him out on what he does/doesn't do .....and not thinks that are seemingly only marginally related to him

"We are," he insisted, "but they'll kill me. 

"...don't like Petunia either," he muttered, sulkily...... hahahaha 🤣🤣🤣

"And Billy, he-"

"-yeah, I know who Billy is," Severus interrupted.  ......i don't know who Billy is 😋

"You don't need to list all of Cokeworth to make your point."

Lily looked triumphant.  "Well then."  

"Well then what?"

She gave him a grin.  "Are you going to say that I'm right, or what?"

"...fine," he said, with a sigh.  "You're right.  Again."  ......such a Gryyfindor Thing to be like,"tell me i am right"

She stared at him for the longest moment, green eyes connecting with black, and then nodded, evidently satisfied that he was serious.  "...Sev?"....Can Lils do Legimency?

"A Relevation Potion?"  She gave him a surprised look.  "I thought your mum said that you were all Prince on her side-"

"-not me," he said, sharply.  He gave her a sheepish look.  "They're giving me grief, Mulciber and Rosier.  Thought I'd slip it in their breakfast cereal."  He smiled nastily.  "Then we’ll see!”

"Sev!  You'd really let the whole table see if they're really Purebloods?  Can you imagine the reaction if they were really Halves?  Or less?"  She gives a horrified laugh.  "Merlin, Sev, you're a menace."....i don't know what be worse.....them turning put to be halfblood or it coming out that their mothers cheated on their fathers with another pureblood

"...so can I have the book back?"

"Only for the potion?"

"Only for the potion," he agreed.

She stared at him, and he blushed under her gaze, such was its intensity.  ....ohhh....someone is crushing real hard on their friend(both of them )

"You swear you won't read anything like this again?  Because I’m telling you, it’s this or me."

"I swear," he breathed.  "I swear on my life."😭😭😭😭

"Snape, out of the shadows," she said, not unkindly.

"But..."  He gave her a terrified look, and then glanced towards the stone steps.  "...if they, if they find me-".

"-the Gryffindor boys are already in the Great Hall waiting for the ball to start," she said, in her usually clipped tone.  

She peered at him, and with a pinched smile, she gripped his shoulder. ......Minerva must be really happy that atleast one Slytherin won't be joining his ranks. 

"Bloody hell, Lil."

"Bloody hell yourself, Sev," she said, looking down at him.  "You scrub up well."

"Yeah," he said, scratching the back of his neck and trying not to blush.  "I thought I'd better make an effort, now that you're Head Girl and all."....such a proud boyfriend

She beamed, and descended the last few steps, walking into his open arms and kissing him.  "I like it," she said, softly.  😻

"And don't go thinking that once we graduate you can go back to not washing your hair, just because I won't be Head Girl any longer."..... hahahaha 🤣

"Deal," he said, with a huge smile - and then he took her hand and walked her towards the Great Hall, where the Yule Ball was already underway.  🤩🤩

Love it 😍

Best Snily AU is where Lily realised that Sev is a literal wizard Nazi much sooner and then goes on to have a great school career without worrying about excusing his xenophobic actions

And you’re why the HP fandom is seen as a toxic space that people should avoid :3 good job

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Nancy

Rio: How's your head? 💀 Nancy: Don't talk to me, like. I can't read and I don't know Nancy: Living that philosophy as I embrace death Rio: 😂 First time embracing the porcelain is it Rio: Babe, you gotta hold on, drunk you was spilling secrets and I need to know if she was chatting shit! Nancy: I mean, I've had some bad 🍣 before I turned full veggie back in the day but this Nancy: Oh god Nancy: OH GOD 😱 please spare me the details....I can't Rio: I wouldn't go there rn babe Rio: not in your weakened state, unless you wanna repeat Rio: S'alright, it was good news! From what I caught Rio: 💕 Nancy: It's so not alright Nancy: Rio, help me, I made everything worse when I came home last night, okay? And I Rio: What did you do? Nothing that can't be sorted I'm sure, everything seems more drastic in the morning but I'll let you know Nancy: No it's really bad Nancy: I sent some texts and I seriously can't even read them Nancy: Drunk + Dyslexic = I can't tell Nancy: What's she gonna think? Nancy: I'll have to move schools again! Sorry mum Rio: Oh honey, we've all done it Rio: sure this mystery girl has herself, no shame Rio: best thing you can do is tell her that you were more than a lil tipsy, laugh it off Rio: she'll think it's funny but you know, not tell the world funny, and problem sorted Rio: did you send 📸s? Nancy: But Nancy: How? Nancy: I can't be like oh hey so I forgot you gave me your number when I first moved here and you probably did too but here's the thing Nancy: Thankfully when I've got a drink in me is the one time I put the camera down Rio: That's good then, not gotta deny they're your tits, like Rio: That's chill, unless you drunkely told her your stalking her, which clearly not Rio: soz wrong number that shit Nancy: JESUS CHRIST SHE IS TYPING Nancy: Murder me Rio: Imma wait 'til I hear what she's gotta say Nancy: I can hear you with the 🍿 from here Nancy: Enjoying yourself? Nancy: 😭 Nancy: Trust me to pick the one person who actually replies to a drunk dial Rio: Hush, been waiting for this day forever Rio: 😏 she likes you Nancy: She likes that I'm openly gay too Nancy: We're outnumbered at school Rio: Omg is it Erin Rio: Yeah she's so down Rio: and she's cute Nancy: That's not her name at all so now I wanna know who you think you have the gay scoop on Nancy: Not just a blatant subject change while I cringe myself to the grave, clearly Rio: Is that not her name? Rio: I forget Rio: Something like that Nancy: She is Irish so a fair guess Nancy: So many Erin's in our year Rio: Init Rio: in form though Nancy: I can't talk about her and to her Nancy: With this hangover, come on Rio: Drink your water and suck it up sugar Rio: Why not? Rio: Whatever her name is, obvs about it Nancy: Maybe but Nancy: no Rio: Don't hurt to have a few on the backburner Rio: and she clearly ain't offended you have 😉 Nancy: I don't want anyone on the backburner, thanks Nancy: If you're not gonna be all in, what's the point? Rio: Then go for it Rio: no? Nancy: she wants to cure me with coffee Nancy: what do I do? Rio: How gay Rio: go go go! Nancy: looking like this? Nancy: she's not right for me but thats just rude Nancy: I don't want her to think I don't think she's gorgeous and cool and Rio: 🙄 Rio: what are you like Rio: put some lipstick on and pull yourself together Rio: you'll be fine, got genetics on your side, like Nancy: so has she Nancy: do you seriously not know who she is? Rio: Not like I been scoping myself Rio: send me her facebook or something Nancy: [Sends it] Nancy: Now do you get it? I can't go Nancy: She looks like she stepped out a music video and I Nancy: doomed from the start lesbian cliches are not how I'm trying to spend my summer Rio: Nah don't be silly Rio: You're gorgeous Rio: She is the one I was thinking of, remember the name now I gotta Rio: then don't be angsting from the sidelines, if that's not what you're about 😜 Rio: Seriously though, it's just coffee, no harm in it Nancy: Yeah? You think? Not like a big mug of me leading her on Nancy: It's not that I don't wanna spend my day in cafes with pretty girls but Nancy: Like I said, if you're not all in, isn't that just time I won't get back Rio: God no, you're not promising shit with a latte and she ain't asking, necessarily Rio: what would you be doing otherwise? Rio: accepting death from your bed Rio: honestly, a date can end with an outcome that ain't a marriage proposal, and it will still be alright Rio: you gays Nancy: I just Nancy: I feel weird about it Nancy: None of this is ideal, you know what I mean Nancy: and I've not had a string of bad dates I can add this to the pile of when I fuck it up Nancy: or any, like Rio: You've got this Rio: Not gonna utter the phrase be yourself but do, like Rio: first time for everything Rio: might even enjoy it Rio: get a caffeine hit if nothing else but honestly, she was alright from what I remember Nancy: as long as I don't irish up my coffee, yeah? Nancy: how embarrassing can I be Rio: 😂 Rio: I don't know how much there is to be said for hair of the dog really so yeah Rio: wouldn't ask the barista that with a wink Rio: slow your roll, gurl Nancy: what did I say? what did I do? Nancy: good lord Rio: I missed some of it Rio: you called your brother out, I remember that much Rio: fashion police 🚨 Nancy: okay that's funny Nancy: saving grace kinda Rio: Knew you'd like that 😏 Rio: might need to ask/apologise to Junie Rio: he looked fairly traumatised so he's probs got the best scoop Nancy: oh Nancy: that'll be why he's not checked in Nancy: scared I might still be drunk Rio: Bless him Rio: your a first ahead of him now, like Nancy: baby boy Nancy: I won't tell him about my non-date then Rio: He'll be happy for you, I'm sure Nancy: What should I wear? I've been extra enough in her inbox without doing it in person Nancy: Genuine question I'm not just doing a girly stress Nancy: I'd ask Mum but she's not in my corner right now Rio: 😬 awks, maybe do irish up your coffee just for the look of the thing #proud Rio: definitely nothing too tryhard but summer's great 'cos dresses are so low-maintenance but always look flattering Rio: go for a maxi since you can tall bitch Nancy: this is a disaster Nancy: im gonna look like a rich girl trying to hang Nancy: whatever I do Rio: Nah Rio: could run over to ours and borrow something if you're really worried but honestly Rio: avoid blatant branding and people never spy Nancy: Tempted as I am to get Billie to bless me Nancy: I don't need everyone asking why I need it Rio: I feel you Rio: Nosy bastards Nancy: There's gonna be enough questions after last night Nancy: next time stop me I beg you Rio: Throw myself on the tequila bomb, got it Nancy: Tequila, was I? Rio: you were warned Rio: s'a killer, babe Nancy: Oh my god Nancy: I'm an idiot Rio: Christ, if you are then there's no hope for the rest of us Rio: it was a party, s'alright to let loose every once and a while Rio: reccommended, in fact Nancy: that's not what I was doing though Nancy: 🙈 Rio: cut that tongue loose Nancy: Rio! 😳 Rio: 😂 Nancy: I know you probably haven't realised when I'm such a pro at keeping secrets, like, but I'm just a big gay mess who's never been kissed Rio: Everyone starts somewhere Rio: it's not as hard as you think it is, trust Rio: you'll be fine when it comes to it Nancy: Yeah, you and my brother! 😞🤒 I know you were young but still can't believe you let him Rio: 🙉 Shh Rio: Don't remind me Nancy: Sorry but it cheers me Nancy: I'll never do anything that awful 😂 drunk or sober Rio: Yeah, reckon if you go there we need to have a bigger, realer talk, babe Rio: no excusing twincest Nancy: ⛔⛔ Nancy: Okay I'm going before you put anything else in my head that I'd need more than a few drinks to get out Nancy: No asking for details 'cause you aren't getting them Rio: 👻 Rio: Spoilsport Rio: Enjoy tho 😘 Nancy: Thanks 🤞