#i can't hear that song and NOT produce ridiculous angst

[sissylittlefeather]

A/N: Ha HA! Another one done! This is the 68 Special one that I promised y'all after the poll. It goes with my series that is currently unnamed, but includes Baby, What's Your Name, Goodnight, Sweetheart and Always, Honey. There are references to all three in here. It takes place before What Kind of Question is That? and Feels Like Forever. This is angstyyy, but the way the story is in my brain, the mid section is that way and the whole story is kind of tragic, in a way. It's very Catherine/Heathcliff (they should be together but can't be for some reason). I didn't set out to write a tragic story, but there ya go. It is what it is. I hope y'all like it anyway!

Also, don't be shy. Let me know what you think! I'd love to hear from you 😁

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, smut, unprotected sex, p in v sex, kissing, ANGST

Also, I'm using Elvis gifs for this one because I like actual EP here, but if it makes you happy to imagine Austin!Elvis, do you boo-boo.

I Missed You

It's been over 3 years since you last saw Elvis. This is the longest you've been apart since you met all those years ago. You haven't seen him since he got married or became a father. He did all of those things without you and it nearly broke you. Still, you'd had your own marriage happen and fall apart, too. You wondered if you'd ever tell him that it was because of him and the fact that you never could seem to stop loving him.

The year is 1968 and you just got off the phone with a friend of yours who works in Hollywood. According to her, Elvis is going to be recording a new show soon and they're looking for audience members. She called to see if you might be interested in seeing an old friend.

No one really knows what you had with Elvis. Well, no one but your old roommate. Still, despite your long history, he never made you public like his other girlfriends. Maybe it's because keeping you a secret made the romance hotter. Or maybe it's because keeping you a secret meant he could keep you all to himself. Either way, your love affair had always been something that only the two of you really knew about.

But an opportunity to see Elvis again is hard to turn down, even with everything that's happened between you. Perhaps seeing him one last time will give you the closure you need to move on. You decide to call your friend back and see what you need to do to be in that audience.

******

Now that you're here, you start to wonder if this was a good idea. You're sitting in the audience in your new mod-style pink gingham dress with white boots and a white headband. You wonder if he will even see you in the crowd. Will he notice the pink gingham?

Your hands are starting to sweat and you wipe them on your skirt, pulling on it to try to get it to cover more of your thighs. You're not a teenager anymore and this dress is starting to feel a bit ridiculous.

One of the producers of the show comes out to explain to the audience how to react to the "applause" signs. Elvis is coming out soon and you're starting to feel a little sick at the prospect of seeing him. You don't remember the last time you were this nervous.

And then he's there. On the small square stage, right in front of you, in black leather. Your heart jumps and your warm center gets a little warmer. He looks good. Not that you expected him not to, but he looks better than you could've imagined. He breaks into That's Alright Mama and you're instantly transported back to that first show where you threw your panties on the stage to get his attention. You start to laugh a little thinking about what might happen if you did the same thing right now. You'd probably get carried out by a security guard.

He sings 4 songs and then they do a set change to him sitting down with his old band mates for a kind of casual jam session. You're still waiting for him to notice that you're there. Part of you is starting to hope that he'll never notice and you can just slink back onto a plane and go home. Seeing him has enlivened every feeling you've ever had for him and you can't help but have flashbacks to every time he's ever touched you. You long to feel his strong hands on your body, his lips on yours, his fingers and tongue doing unspeakable things between your legs. You squeeze your legs together and pray that you're not going to leave a puddle on your seat.

And then it happens. He's walking around the stage singing again and he kneels just feet from you. You're in the second row, far enough back to be out of reach, but close enough to be visible. He looks out into the audience and your eyes meet. Ever the professional performer, he only freezes for a second when he sees you. You feel like someone dumped ice water down your back and it's suddenly hard to breathe. You want to get up and run out, but you can't. And just when you think he's completely unaffected by you, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. Then he stands up, turns away from you, and keeps singing.

But he comes back.

He walks around the stage like he's supposed to, but he always comes back to you and keeps his eyes locked onto yours for as long as possible before he has to move. Every time it happens, your heart skips a beat and you start to wonder how much more you can take. Just when you think you might melt from the intensity of his gaze, he leaves the stage and the producer comes back and says that filming is done for the day.

You sit there for a while and let the other people around you file out. Eventually you get up and head for the exit. You're one of the last people in the room as you head for the door. And then you hear someone behind you. You turn, expecting someone to tell you that you need to leave, but no.

It's him.

You stand and stare at each other for a good minute before he speaks. He asks a single question.

"Where can I find you later?"

You want to tell him to go to hell. Instead, you hear yourself say, "Hollywood Hilton, room 647."

He nods, turns, and jogs away from you back to wherever he came from. A man comes and ushers you out the exit door. You head back to your hotel in disbelief. You're not sure what you expected, but it wasn't that.

******

You're trying really hard to stop pacing in your hotel room. The clock on the night stand says 12:24am. You're still wearing the pink and white dress, mainly because you're too nervous to change into anything else, but you're barefooted now, your boots in a pile by the door. You tell yourself you are giving him until 1am and then you're going to bed. That's when you hear the knock on your door.

Your stomach tenses up and your heart jumps into your throat. You walk to the door and open it carefully. Elvis walks in quickly and closes it behind himself. You're reminded of the time he did that when you lived in the dorm and you almost laugh out loud.

"Who are you hiding from?"

"Everyone." He looks at you like no time has passed since the last time you were alone like this. He puts his hand on the side of your face and for a moment you let him. Then you move away from him.

"Don't."

"Honey, why--"

"You have a wife."

"And you have a husband. Never stopped us before."

"I don't have a husband anymore."

"All the more reason--"

"You married her, Elvis." He looks down at the floor.

"She has your baby. You're somebody's father."

"I know that."

"Then why did you come here?" He picks up your hand and kisses the inside of your palm, just like he did so many years before.

"I missed you." You want to take that hand and slap him with it. For a second, you really consider it. Instead, you pull it away from him and turn to face the window. If you look at him, you might give in.

He comes up behind you and touches your dress on your shoulder.

"You know I've always loved you in pink."

"It matches--"

"--the dress you wore on the first night. I remember."

That almost convinces you to turn around, but instead you shake his hand off your shoulder. You can't turn around. Not yet.

"Elvis, we said this was over."

"We've said that before."

"Yeah, but last time I thought we meant it."

He walks around in front of you and faces you. He seems afraid to touch you again.

"Baby, you know I could never mean it."

You cross your arms over your chest and look up at him. He looks different now, grown up and fully himself, but he's still the same boy from Memphis who said he would always be yours.

"No. Go home to your wife, Elvis."

You can see in his eyes that that stung. You immediately wish you hadn't said it, but you did and it wasn't untrue. He does have a wife to go home to and you have what? No one because you can't seem to move on from him. He's as much a part of you as you are of him.

"You know what you mean to me." You do know. But sometimes you just wish he would say the words.

You walk past him to the hotel room window and look out at the street below. They say New York is the city that never sleeps, but this town could give it a run for its money. There seems to be people everywhere. He speaks again, ripping you out of your reverie.

"You know, I could ask you the same question. Why did you come to my show?" You step back from the window and look up at the ceiling. That, you don't have an answer for. You're not even sure why you came. It's no use lying to him or yourself anymore. You turn to face him with tears in your eyes.

"I missed you."

It only takes him three steps to walk across the room and pull you into a deep and passionate kiss, his arms around you to keep you from pulling away. You know you should pull away, but you don't even try. You melt into him like snow in the rain, your mouths picking up a rhythm easily. Kissing him is familiar and satisfying and you begin to wonder why you ever stopped. You wrap your arms around his neck and let yourself get lost in him. He walks you backwards to the dresser and then lifts you up so that you're sitting on it. He runs both hands up your thighs and then grabs your hips, pulling them into his own. You break the kiss and moan softly into his mouth as you feel his hardness press into you. In a second, he has the dress up, over your head, and off. Your fingers shake as you undo the rest of the buttons on his shirt and push it off of his shoulders with his jacket, letting them both fall to the floor. The whole time, he's kissing you on the neck, on your chest, and shoulder, and jawline, and lips. It almost feels like he's trying to devour you whole. In fact, he bites the skin next to your collarbone at one point hard enough that you let out a small yelp. He knows you well enough to know that's a good sound. You grab the back of his hair and pull his head backward, diving into a deep kiss with heavy tongue. He almost breaks your bra, trying to rip it off of you and your panties don't stand a chance as he tears at them and throws them to the side. The button pops off of his pants as you feverishly try to get them off of him. He slides them off his hips and to the floor, letting his erection free to land against your thigh. The sight and feel of it there elicits a moan from your mouth and a good deal of wetness from between your legs. He pulls you to the edge of the dresser and pushes himself inside you. He slams into you heatedly and you both start to sweat. You can feel your climax building around him as he pumps. He's still kissing you all over your face and neck, dipping his tongue into your mouth periodically. Your hands grip his back as your fingernails dig into his skin. As many times as you've been together, it's never felt like this before. There's a desperation and need in both of you that's completely new. You wrap your legs around him and he carries you to the bed, still inside of you. You fuck for a while with him on top of you, until you push him into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Then, you turn away from him and lower yourself onto him, holding onto his thighs for support. While you slide up and down on him, he reaches forward and makes circles with his finger on the spot between your legs that makes you cry out his name.

"Elvis, fuck!" You scream as your climax pounds into you from every angle, rushing through you from your center to your edges and back again. You turn around and push him back onto the bed. He moves himself backwards until he's fully on the bed and you can ride him easily. You're grinding your hips against him, so that he is so deep inside of you. Nothing seems to be deep enough to satisfy you tonight. You want to swallow him up and keep him there inside you. He moans and grunts while you work, obviously approaching his climax. He flips you over one last time and thrusts into you a few times before he shudders and cusses and fills you with his warmth. You're both dripping wet with sweat and covered in marks from the other's teeth and fingernails. He rolls over off of you and lays next to you, both of you breathing heavily. He picks up your hand and kisses your fingers.

"Oh, honey, I have missed you so much." He smiles at you and holds your hand on his chest. You get up and go to the bathroom, trying to forget that you just committed adultery with him. Again. When you come back, you get some panties out of your suitcase and put them on. Then, you climb back into bed, where he's arranged himself as if he's going to sleep there.

"Don't you... have to... go?" You ask tentatively. You think of his wife, probably pacing her room waiting for him to come home.

"No." He doesn't give any more detail and you don't ask. He puts his arm around you and pulls you close to him. "I'm staying here." He kisses the side of your head.

It feels so good to have him wrapped around you again. This won't be the last time you're together.

He waits until he thinks you're asleep, and you almost are, when he whispers,

"I love you, baby."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist: @itlover8000 @deniseinmn @elvisalltheway101

[avani008]

@ambitiousandcunning wanted Arjuna and Draupadi for the Song Shuffle Meme! (Which: “Luka Chuppi” Thanks for nothing, iTunes! *sniffles*)

Panchali does not mourn their fallen children. After that first dreadful morning, where her sobs echo throughout the camp, she does not so much shed a tear for them. She rises, adorns herself as an Empress for the first time in fourteen years, and never speaks their names. 

“She is stronger than we are,” Eldest Brother explains, as though trying to convince himself. “She has suffered more than have we. What more pain can this cause her than what she has already endured?”

Arjuna does not reply; cannot reply, because he knows better. Arjuna has watched her go to the river Ganga, her sons’ favorite flowers in her hands (roses for Srutasena and Srutakarma, jasmine for Abhimanyu and Sutasoma, marigold for Shatanika, and lotuses for Prativindya, whose tastes were always  particular). He has seen her submerge them in the water solemnly, as though they were the ashes she was forbidden to touch at the funeral she was forbidden to attend. He has seen her disheveled and distraught, eyes bright with anger directed within and without. 

He has watched and waited for her pain to ebb. He waits still. 

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

therapy, m | jjk, myg

pairing(s): jungkook x reader, yoongi x reader

summary: Jeon Jungkook has an appointment with the Sex Doctor. *record scratch, freeze frame* Yup, that's him. You're probably wondering how he got into this situation. It has to do with Instagram, sad songs, and the existence of one rotten peach.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; discussions about love; more about feels / life than it is about the porn tbh; angst(?); smut (fem reader, voyeurism, v intense making out, m-receiving oral ft. tongue technology, face fucking, scratching); non-idol!AU - sadboi!Jungkook x Sex Doctor!reader x music producer, Sex Doctor!Yoongi, ft. JK's friend, Kim Taehyung; Jungkook’s > reader's > Yoongi's POV and each shift is another layer to the story

it's what you think it is, but also not yes, partially inspired by JK's actual Instagram stories

--

"Bro."

A long finger prodded the head under black hair.

"Yo, bro."

"What?" was the grumpy, distracted reply.

"You sad, bro?" the deep baritone voice asked, poking the disgruntled one some more.

Jeon Jungkook swatted at the persistent pokes. He finally pulled his gaze away from his phone and Spotify, squinting angrily at the long, black-brown curls that framed the nonchalant, slightly offended, almost bored expression on Kim Taehyung's handsome face.

"What are you talking about?" Jungkook grumbled.

"Your Instagram stories, bro."

A surge of annoyance. "What about them?"

Playing dumb.

It was easier than admitting anything.

"Your sad-song-sharing-sessions," his friend pressed, dragging out a chair at the table and sitting down to prepare himself in the interrogation that Jungkook most certainly didn't ask for. Jungkook glanced at the service counter. How long did it take to make fried chicken? Jeez. It was good here, but always took so damn long.

"Someone dump you?"

"Nobody dumped me."

"Someone turn you down?"

"No."

"You making googly eyes at someone and they think you're a freak because you can't talk to girls?"

Jungkook felt a muscle above his eyebrow twitch, shifting the piercing above his right eye. Taehyung was great at a lot of things. Art. Posting thirst trap photos on Instagram and then deleting them. Being persistently annoying as shit.

"There's no one," Jungkook muttered, going back at his phone and scrolling through Spotify again. "There's no one and that's the fucking problem."

And that was it.

There was no one to love, no one to pine over, no one to struggle falling in love with, no one to love him too much, no one to fall out of love with, no one to hold or ache to hold. No one. Only sad songs to listen to and wonder if he could ever feel that way, because being in fair love was a matter of luck. It seemed to be so rare, therefore being in unjust love must be easier, right? It must be common if there's so many songs about it, right?

Right?

At least...

At least if Jungkook could have an unjust love.

But he didn't even have that.

Am I not even worth that?

A moment of silence and Jungkook mistakenly thought that Taehyung had given up annoying him upon hearing his depressed declaration.

"You need to get laid."

Jungkook’s eyes shifted up along with one eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Taehyung shrugged. His loose white shirt and tan cardigan ruffled, exposing his collarbones and the thin gold necklace he usually wore. Had a girlfriend bought it for him? Did he buy it himself? Meanwhile, oblivious to the swirling thoughts, Taehyung nodded sagely, giving Jungkook a pointed look.

"Sex can fix anything," Taehyung said.

He was about to respond with, I'm not a phone screen you dropped, I'm not broken, but Taehyung barreled on in saying the most ridiculous things that Jungkook had ever heard in the middle of day.

"You should go to the Sex Doctor."

"I should go to the what?" Jungkook blurted, shooting up and out of his seat in complete and utter disbelief.

"Order 97!"

-

"Let me get this straight."

Taehyung stole a piece of his chicken.

Jungkook mimed flicking him in the forehead, but Taehyung ticked down his sunglasses and pretended he was blind.

"Anyway," Jungkook grumbled. "The fuck is a Sex Doctor?"

"Friend of mine," the older male answered casually, cleaning his teeth with a toothpick as he spoke. He waited until Jungkook was in the middle of popping another piece of chicken into his mouth and snatched another nugget, speaking quickly before Jungkook could flick him in the forehead. "You pay, get advice on your love life, become enlightened."

"That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard."

Those dark eyebrows wiggled. "Ah, but when was the last time you got laid?"

Jungkook frowned. "Bro."

"Hm?"

"What you're describing is a prostitute."

Taehyung choked.

"No!"

He should have known whatever Taehyung would suggest would be weird and a complete waste of time. Jungkook angrily stuffed three pieces of basil fried chicken into his mouth and chewed with fluffed cheeks as the choking man sorted himself out.

"No, bro, you don't understand, the payment is a donation out of the goodness of your heart, then you state what your problem is, and then maybe you have sex, if that's what the Sex Doctor determines is the best therapy for you."

Jungkook was unconvinced.

"That's just fancy way to describe a hooker."

"It's not!"

Taehyung slapped Jungkook's thigh and winced strongly, cradling his hand.

"Besides my problem has nothing to do with sex," Jungkook continued, chewing irritably, not reacting to the hit at all. "I want to fall in love."

"That's why you need to get laid. It’ll do you good and shake you outta this fixation."

"That's so stupid, bro."

Jungkook narrowed his eyes, frowning.

"Sex with some random person isn't going to change my life."

-

Which was precisely why, days later, Jeon Jungkook was standing outside a trailer with his phone in his hand after having wired a specific amount of money to a specific bank account number. He was waiting for approval. After that, the code to enter into the number pad bolted to the door would be texted to him.

Yeah, he was doing it.

Look, it wasn’t because he actually thought some nutcase who called themselves the Sex Doctor could help him. Absolutely not. Jungkook was ready to dispute and logically break down why this whole thing was a fucking sham.

Yeah, Taehyung was that annoying.

If you think it won’t help you, prove it. Go and see. They’ll refund you if you’re not satisfied.

Not satisfied, psh, as if this was some normal service. This was clearly a scheme made up by a charlatan to dupe gullible individuals into giving up their money. There was no merit to this. As if some greedy stranger could understand the intricacies of romantic love when they were profiting off of it–

Jungkook’s phone pinged.

Your payment has been approved. Please enter the four-digit code below. This code will expire within 30 seconds.

Jungkook stared at the code.

Wait.

0901

That was his birthday.

How…?

A chill danced down his spine. How did they know his birth date? Sure, his name and payment details, but none of that included his date of birth. Was it simply a coincidence? Was it just randomly generated and he was thinking too much into it? But it was there, that was clearly his birthday, it was too accurate to be a coincidence, right? Did they do a background check on him? How–

Thirty seconds!

Jungkook panicked and punched the numbers into the number pad.

The indicator light glowed green. The door clicked.

He gripped the handle and stepped in.

He was greeted by the sight of a white curtain with a chair in front of it. It was a wooden chair, simple, dark brown, facing the metal door. The metal door was surprisingly heavy and closed right away once Jungkook let go. He looked around, but it was white curtains all around him. The lone chair waited. It was not a large space but it did not feel cramped either. There was plenty of light shining behind the three thick curtains surrounding him.

The light shone out, obscuring everything behind the white fabric.

Jungkook stepped towards one of them, reaching out.

His cell phone vibrated in his hand.

Jungkook jumped, startled as he turned his phone around to read the message sent from the number that had been texting him.

Please sit down.

Er.

He whipped his head around, eyes whizzing about. How did…? Was there a camera?

Robotically, he made his way to the chair, cautiously sliding his ass onto it.

Bruh.

Was he… gonna die?

No. White fabric? That was a terrible choice if you were a serial killer. Unless they wanted to see the red blood soak into the white. Oh God. Maybe he was gonna die. Then why have the chair facing the door? Maybe that was the ploy. False hope and shit. You know what, maybe Jungkook had watched too many movies.

“What’s your problem?” a soft, deep voice asked.

Jungkook snapped his head around, spreading his legs so he didn’t fall out of the chair. He wasn’t the chair-falling-type. That was someone else. Anyway. What was that voice? Where did it come from? Why did it sound familiar?

Then, it clicked.

“H… Hyung?”

Silence.

“Y-Yoongi-hyung?”

Silence.

For some reason, Jungkook clutched his phone and stared at it as if it was going to answer him.

Instead, he nearly fell off his chair as the curtain was pushed back and black-haired, fair-skinned, complete with a pointed stare Min Yoongi stepped out from behind it, dragging over a similar wooden chair. He was wearing a black bomber jacket and loose black slacks, his keys clinking off of the belt loop as he moved.

“Huh. It is you.”

WHAT?

Min Yoongi.

Min Yoongi was the Sex Doctor?!

Jungkook gawked at him. Yoongi placed the chair in front of him and sat down, shaking out his jacket that had a white skull-and-crossbones motif and white accents down the arms. Normally he wore a black beanie, but today Yoongi’s hair was loose, long and black, wisping past his cheekbones.

Yoongi frowned at Jungkook, resting his elbows on his knees.

“So, what’s your problem?”

Was… Was his hyung really going to sit there and not address the fact that he was the Sex Doctor and that Jungkook just paid him to–

The words shot out before Jungkook could stop them.

“Hyung, I’m not going to have sex with you.”

The older man gave him a blank stare.

Holy shit, did I just say that, wait a second–

“Right,” Yoongi drawled slowly, acting as if Jungkook had said nothing at all. “Heard through the grapevine that you have been yearning for a relationship, which is not uncommon. Could hardly be considered a problem, but you paid, so let’s hear it.”

Jungkook flapped his jaw.

Yoongi pulled back his jacket sleeve and tapped his imaginary watch on his bare wrist. “Tick tock.” He waved a hand toward his bored face. “You’re lucky. You get face-to-face since I know you,” he continued, gazing into Jungkook’s eyes with a rather unsettling stare.

Uh.

And then Yoongi’s demeanor softened. It was visible in his features, his expression, the corners of his mouth relaxing, resting his elbows on his knees as he faced Jungkook. A lot of people thought Yoongi was cold, and he was – before you knew him. In truth, Yoongi was a pensive person with an ocean of thought. His hyung said things like, I like to know the intentions of people before I decide to engage with them, and, a person is worth connecting with; it’s when they become people that you can no longer connect with them. He was someone full of wisdom, but it was always up to Yoongi to decide who was meant to hear it.

Those cat-like eyes opened to Jungkook and his hyung spoke quietly, without judgement.

“Talk to me.”

Jungkook was the kind of person who couldn’t talk until he was ready to talk.

And he was.

“Am I not worth loving, hyung?”

Barely above a whisper.

If he said it out loud, it might be true.

“Not even badly? Not even haphazardly or clumsily or drive-you-crazy-at-three-in-the morning, stupid, lame, break-up-for-a-dumb-reason love?” Jungkook breathed and he had to clamp down on his emotions, otherwise his voice would break and this was embarrassing enough. However, Yoongi remained neutral, observing him closely, ticking his head to indicate he was actively listening. “I don’t think… I’m a good person, right? I’m cool, I’m interesting, I always take a shower.” Yoongi blinked slowly. Jungkook barreled on, realizing that was a bit dumb to say. “I just want to feel it, even if it’s bad, even if it's the worst, I want to have someone to love, moments to look back on, someone to grow with or from, but…”

He laughed and nothing was funny.

“Is that horrible? Is that pathetic? It doesn’t have to be a great love. It can even be a bad love.”

Those dark brown orbs surveyed him as Jungkook drew in a shuddering breath, pausing.

“I could give you that.”

Jungkook choked on the air he was trying to inhale.

“Your problem is that you want even the perfect bad love,” the older man continued, sitting up and leaning back. “Even if it’s shit, you want it to be a picturesque shitshow.”

Jungkook blinked rapidly. “What, I don’t–”

Yoongi scoffed. “Yeah, you do. I follow you on Instagram, remember?”

Being honest, Jungkook actually did forget. Yoongi barely engaged with other users on the app. He posted pictures, but rarely liked others’ photos. It was a miracle when he replied to someone and it usually had nothing to do with the original post.

“Sad songs aren’t real life. They have real life in them, but real love is often disappointing and plain. Why? Because most people are disappointing and plain. Real life is you finding someone interesting and then you make up grand stories in your head about how great they are. You finally meet them and, if by some miracle they agree to go out with you, they make up grand stories about you in their head and then you disappoint each other because neither of you can live up to these fantasies. Then you struggle to break up because admitting, you didn’t live up to the fake you I made up in my head, sounds fucking stupid as hell, so both of you fumble around for months and then break up over some shitty reason like you forgetting her Starbucks order.”

Jungkook gawked at Yoongi. “Is this from personal experience?”

A very strange thing happened.

Yoongi shifted his eyes and there was a flicker of disruption in the calm confidence that had appeared while he had been explaining earlier.

“Well…”

The door blasted open.

Jungkook snapped his head up and put up his fists.

Yoongi winced.

-

“Sorry I’m late, Yoongi.”

“Kill yourself.”

You swept your hair back over your shoulder and grinned, placing a hand on the back of his chair. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I got caught up–”

Min Yoongi clicked his tongue and glared at you from the side. Visible irritation painted on his sharp features flourished by his black hair and fashionable all-black attire. Your hand moved from the back of the chair to his shoulder. His glare sharpened. Your grin expanded.

You did it on purpose to annoy him.

He knew you did, which was exactly why he didn’t move.

You leaned down, eye level with him. “Come on. You know me. It happens.”

“You knew we had a client,” Yoongi growled.

“I know, I know, but look at you. You’re doing a good job. I don’t even need to be here.”

Those dark pink lips pursed and Yoongi brought his face close to yours. You remained in place, unintimidated, grinning like a maniac.

Just to annoy him.

“You could have come through the back door, quietly, but instead you blasted through the front and I know you did it on purpose to be a shithead,” he hissed. He smelled like woodsy spice. Excellent, high-quality cologne. His fair skin glowed too. Maybe he started using the moisturizer you gave him last Christmas with the note, your skin quality resembles that of a pinecone. “You didn’t have to be late. You were late on purpose because I told you I was friends with Jeon Jungkook and you thought it would be funny for him to be shocked as he recognized my voice and think I’m the Sex Doctor.”

You grinned with all of your teeth.

“It was funny. I saw your face. You thought it was funny.”

He gave you the most deadpan stare known to man.

Yoongi liked to say, you’re a real peach – a rotten one.

A shaking, silvery voice spoke up.

“H… Hyung…? You t-thought it was funny…? But it didn’t look…”

You stood up and then took in the other man in the trailer. Black-haired. Pierced! Eyebrow and lip, right side of his face. Nice, nice. Big brown eyes – like an animated bunny in a Disney movie. Oh, were those hand tattoos? Brave. A sporty-chic jacket, black and yellow with white accents. White shirt. Black sweatpants. Cool sneakers, black and white. You appreciated that the yellow laces were the same shade as his jacket. Well-coordinated fashion, neat appearance, hopeless romantic, intelligent but most likely a bimbo when it came to topics that he wasn’t interested in. Oh, and athletic. His stance was proper even when surprised from you waltzing in unannounced. Boxing? Seemed like it.

“Oh, you didn’t notice?” you mused, poking Yoongi’s cheek. He made a disgruntled face as you touched the side of his lips and lifted up the corner. “He does this tiny smirk when he finds something funny but doesn’t want you to know because he knows you are too busy looking into his eyes.”

Those big brown eyes blinked at you.

He had a mole underneath his lips, right in the center of the open ‘o’ shape.

Hm.

“Get your hand off me.”

You removed your finger and placed both hands on Yoongi’s shoulders, much to his delight.

If delight could be disdain.

“We’ll toss out the time requirement today. Friend discount, let’s say. Also, I was late for my own amusement, but you have to admit, my partner here could do it all himself, couldn’t he?” You laughed, squeezing the broad shoulders under your hands. “You don’t even need me.”

Yoongi grunted.

“Don’t be stupid. I hate talking to people.”

His tone was not as sharp as before.

You let go of his shoulders.

“Uh… how did you see hyung’s face?”

Oh? Jungkook had caught on. He was observant too. Noted. You smiled at him. Saw his face brighten at your expression, receptive to the display of apparent kindness with a simple smile. Hm, he had some innocence to him. Had such a good-looking guy really gone through life with no one approaching him? It must because of how intimidatingly attractive he is. People must have assumed he was taken or already had tons of suitors, so no one had ever tried to begin with.

“Oh, I have cameras installed everywhere.”

Jungkook flung his head around, looking startled.

He wouldn���t find them unless he knew what to look for and, even then, you knew what to look for so you hid them extra carefully. Precautions. Okay, and it was kind of fun pretending to be a spy.

“For safety, of course,” you continued nonchalantly. You couldn’t see Yoongi’s face, but you knew he was rolling his eyes. “So no one tries anything funny and also to protect my cute partner.”

“No one even knows I exist in this set-up,” Yoongi grumbled. “They think it’s all you – until today.”

Jungkook whipped his head back, apparently giving up on finding the cameras.

He opened his mouth.

You stated your name.

Jungkook froze.

Oh. Not what he was going to ask. You could tell by his face. Still, you watched him mouth your name, very subtly, then look you up and down. Light of interest in those big brown eyes. You had seen him in the camera before coming over. Therefore, you had selected your cropped white puffer jacket, tiny black velvet crop top, black cargo pants with two silver chains, and your thick soled black boots with a moon motif on the three silver buckles accenting each side.

You usually didn’t care what you wore to the Sex Doctor appointments – you were always behind the curtain. That was what they were for, to maintain anonymity. A lot of people preferred that. They didn’t want a face-to-face when discussing what to do for their yeast infections, for example. Or asking if they were creepy for leaving love notes on the desk of the girl they had been staring at for three months, but never spoken to. You always told them, yes, that is creepy.

Some people didn’t want to be looked at when they were confronted with the truth and you could respect that.

However, Jeon Jungkook was going to see you in person, so you made some effort to not show up in your pajamas. Even if your pajamas were cute. They had little devils on them.

Of course, they did.

“So… hyung and you do this… together?” Jungkook asked, looking confused. Cute. Confused Jungkook was fun and pleasing to look at. A nice double-kill.

You grinned. “Yes, I answer the questions. Yoongi finds the clients and filters out the dumbasses. And he’s here during the appointments. Being alone would be terribly unsafe.”

“For them,” Yoongi muttered.

You snuck a glance and the corner of his mouth was quirked upwards.

“We split the money fifty-fifty,” you added.

“Oh… You guys are dating?” the younger man asked curiously, looking from you to Yoongi.

In milliseconds.

Yoongi stiffened and there was a definite shift in demeanor. His eyes lowered, his tongue tucked into his cheek, and he avoided looking at you. As soon as it came, it went, and Yoongi was emotionless again, looking bored and relaxed. Opened his mouth to respond, but you beat him to it.

“No.”

You said it simply, without inflection.

Yoongi’s mouth closed and those dark brown orbs shifted down, then back up, reorientating so fast that his expression hardened, giving him a fierce air even though there was no visible reason for it, only the simple word that he himself was about to say, except you had already said it.

You placed your hand on Yoongi’s shoulder.

Felt his body twitch under your palm and he still didn’t look at you.

You grinned.

“Yoongi can’t stand me.”

Yoongi’s eyes and mouth thinned into lines. “There’s money involved.”

“I’m yo suga momma.”

“Say that one more time and I’ll never speak to you again.”

You removed your hand.

“There are other ways to talk besides with words.”

Yoongi didn’t respond to your quip. He simply sat there and frowned at Jungkook. Then he sighed and jerked his head to you. “Go ahead. Ask her whatever you want. That’s the whole point of all this nonsense, right?”

You sat down on the floor, cross-legged, next to Yoongi and looking up at Jungkook. Smiled brightly, side of the mouth up, lashes up to open the eyes and give them an inviting appearance. Hands loosely on top of one another in your lap to give them placement, but not be too professional. The casualness would reduce the anxiousness of speaking to a stranger about intimate emotions, which was what Jungkook came here to do.

“Get off the floor, you gremlin. Sit on the chair.”

You placed a hand on Yoongi’s thigh and pressed it back down before he could stand up. Felt the muscle tense under the thick fabric of his pants. His facial expression did not change. His eyes flickered to you, now making eye contact. No fear. You tilted your head.

He seemed to be searching for something in your gaze.

“I’m fine here. You’re his friend, right? It’s better if you’re here to provide context. Plus, it’s been a while since I’ve bounced ideas off of you. I appreciate your input.”

Yoongi stared into your eyes.

The questions in those eyes had nothing to do with his friend Jeon Jungkook.

You turned away and looked back up at Jungkook.

His cheeks were bright red.

You raised an eyebrow.

Red cheeks. Hands held up by his chest, half-open. Legs that had been open now scooting closer together. That was not a nervousness-at-meeting-a-stranger stance. You kept you hand on Yoongi’s thigh for a moment. Then you raised your palm. Jungkook’s brown eyes darted to the action. Your fingers lingered on the black fabric, then slipped away, but not before your fingertips danced on the edge of Yoongi’s knee.

This happened in the breath of one second.

Jungkook’s eyes came back to your face. Yes, that was not general nervousness at meeting another unknown human. There was a little bit of that, but then there was also that other bit too, the bit that made him slowly lower his hands and place them in front of his crotch and sit up, adjusting his coat and clearing his throat. A little straighter, a little more composed. He was looking down at you, and yet he was the one following your every movement.

You wondered if he noticed the corner of your lips quirk upward. It was involuntary.

You let the calm, inviting expression return.

“Why are you afraid that no one will love you, Jungkook?” you asked. “I’m sure lots of people love you. You seem like a nice person.”

His lower lip tucked upward, thoughtful. “I want someone to love-love me.” He frowned, almost childishly, but there was an innocent charm to it. “I want to be loved like a love song. Or even a break-up song. Anything.” Heavy sigh. “Everyone has gone through it some version of it. I don’t want what everyone else has. I just want my own. My story. My story to tell, my story to reflect on, my story to grow from. I know it will happen when it happens, but how can I grow if I never experience it? Or what if I experience it too late and I don’t change for the better, what if I’m already too old and set in my ways and–”

“Man, does he always think his much?”

Yoongi’s gruff voice drifted down. “It’s his schtick.”

Jungkook blinked rapidly. Confused again. It was a little mischief. You relished in inducing it. He simply looked too adorable. Couldn’t help yourself.

“Alright, answer my questions,” you began, lifting your hand. You tucked your pinky down. “What do you want?”

His brows furrowed. “To be loved?”

Second finger down. “How?”

“Well–”

You cut him off, turning your hand and pointing your index and middle finger at him like a gun. “Bang! That’s your problem.”

Jungkook looked taken aback. “What?”

“You listen to an excessive amount of love songs, sweet and sad and angry and everything in between. They’re all in your head, like a gallery of choices. But those are their love songs. These songs are someone else’s stories, their celebrated love, their hopeless love, their lost love. You’ve trapped yourself in this plethora of choice of what could be. But that is theirs and what is theirs can’t be yours.”

You lowered your hand and stared into his eyes.

“What could be and what is are two different things.”

You smiled and it was a sad smile.

“If you get too caught up in what could be, you miss what is. You miss the people already looking at you, or the chances that might have been there all along. To write your own story, you need to live it. You need to let go and know that you won’t have the plot written out as verse, chorus, verse, chorus.”

You placed your elbows on your calves and your chin in your palms, your fingers resting on your cheekbones. There was a small pocket of air between your curled fingers and face.

You filled it up with your smile, your cheeks fitting into your hands.

“You don’t like it, huh? Not being prepared for it?”

Jungkook let out a puff, shaking his head. “How am I supposed to know what to do?”

You snickered. “I thought you would take anything.”

He rubbed his nose. “Well… I mean… I really want to be loved fully and without regrets.”

“Sounds nice. Not a terrible thing to want.”

Jungkook looked at you.

There was a strange, strange second that seemed to pass so slowly that it felt as if time stopped.

Those big, brown eyes. Like chocolate, sweet and lovely. Full and bright and energetic. Wanted to love and love with all his heart, and he could, he would, everything he was and more, and you had seen that look before, not the same eyes, but the same look, the same gaze that told you, this is not a lie, this is not a joke, similar dark brown orbs that promised you he was capable of love even as he said, you’re a real peach – a rotten one, pointed glare, shifting down, then back up, I know you can see how I feel, you read people like a book, and you still haven’t said anything even though you know, but I still need to hear it from your lips, I need to hear you tell me you don’t want to love me.

You had looked into Yoongi’s eyes, face-to-face.

Reminded him that he called you a rotten peach.

That wasn’t my opinion of you. That’s your opinion of you and what you want to hear, because it’s much easier for you if I hate you, no matter how untrue it is.

It was only then that you realized Min Yoongi might have picked up some of your analytical thought process from being around you so much.

And in this second, in this moment of Jeon Jungkook looking at you, you felt Yoongi’s eyes on you.

“So…. You’re not going to have sex with me?”

You almost fell over at Jungkook’s airheaded question.

“What?”

“I m-mean, y… you are the Sex Doctor?!” Jungkook sputtered, sounding highly unsure now.

“Because I offer sex advice along with relationship advice,” you crackled, shaking your head.

“B-But Taehyung s-said–”

“Which Taehyung?”

“Kim Taehyung,” Yoongi injected.

You snapped your head to him and his deadpan face. “Which Kim Taehyung?”

“The ’95 liner.”

“Oh. The one who didn’t know how to use a cock ring.”

Jungkook choked.

“Yeah, that one,” Yoongi snorted.

“He just had the wrong size. Ah, I guess I didn’t know that until–”

“Stop before Jungkook has a stroke.”

You jerked your head back. Jungkook was gawking at you with eyes the size of dinner plates. Therefore, it made complete logical sense to continue on this train for his amusing expression alone. “Are you having some trouble with sex? I didn’t ask about that, sorry.”

“That wasn’t the original question,” Yoongi muttered.

“It could have been and he just didn’t want to say to his hyung,” you scolded him.

“I’m sure his dick is in working condition.”

“I… I haven’t really…”

Both you and Yoongi turned to look at Jungkook, who shrank in his chair a bit.

“I don’t… I don’t know…” He trailed off awkwardly. “I mean, I do. Know. That my dick works. I jacked off yesterday.”

You blinked slowly.

Jungkook cleared his throat and shifted his eyes in every direction excluding your or Yoongi’s face.

“Sexual intimacy is more than shooting out some cummies,” you pointed out.

He nodded quickly and then winced. “That’s not what I meant. Uh…” There was an odd moment where Jungkook just made googly eyes at you and you knew exactly what he wanted. He was looking at Yoongi, he was looking at you, he was looking at his hands, he was looking at your lips, he was looking for help, and you were deliberately not helping because you were being a shithead.

You just grinned.

“I gotta go.”

Yoongi stood up suddenly. You turned your head, getting up, but he wasn’t looking at you, waving a hand and reaching into his jacket. Turned to block the phone screen from you. Ran a hand through his hair and you observed both movements, his back to you and his long pale fingers through his black hair, walking back to the curtains.

“Go where?” you asked his back.

“Unlike you two, I have a job.”

“I have a job,” you quipped.

Yoongi disappeared behind the white curtain. “Yeah, but mine is twenty-four, seven. Have to meet this person for dinner and discuss the song we’re making.”

“You hate talking to people.”

You heard rustling and Yoongi grunting in annoyance. “Yeah, well, being a music producer means you have to talk to people. I’m fine talking music.” The fabric shifted and he appeared again, slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder. Looked at you. You gazed back into those dark-brown, cat-like eyes.

Smiled.

He gave you a faint smile back, just the sides of his lips ticked upwards.

“Thanks for covering for me.”

Yoongi’s smile dropped and his eyes tipped upwards ever-so-slightly. “Yeah, yeah. You did it on purpose.”

“You would be good at it.”

“No, I wouldn’t. I would just tell everyone to get over themselves.”

“I appreciate you.”

Yoongi’s hand that had been reaching for the doorknob stilled in the air. Eye contact once more. You grinned, maybe borderline maniacal, and Yoongi smirked. Neither expression matched the conversation between your eyes and his. You tucked your hands in your pant pockets and he placed his hand on the door. One extra second.

Your eyes and his.

You winked.

His smirk turned into an open-mouthed one.

Then Yoongi opened the door and left.

-

Min Yoongi stared at his phone screen as he started up his desktop.

“I’m sorry… if I’m bad… I haven’t really, uh, done it… seriously…”

“Whoa, slow down there. Let’s discuss what will happen first.”

The video quality was a bit shit, even when loaded onto the computer. The audio quality was excellent though. When purchasing cameras that small, something had to be sacrificed. The audio could be adjusted with separate microphones. At first, she wasn’t going to install more than one, but Yoongi had insisted. Could never be too careful and besides, what they were doing was not necessarily legal. Still, so far, they never had to use any material they had for any reason.

But Yoongi wasn’t beneath blackmail if needed.

He didn’t trust people.

A person, yes.

People? Fuck no.

When he first heard about the Sex Doctor, Yoongi thought it was a hoax. He thought it was stupid as fuck. Why would someone want sex and relationship advice from a complete stranger? Seemed whack no matter how you looked at it. Who cared how embarrassing it was? Look it up on the internet or something.

Back then, it had been different.

It had been a phone number and an address. The address was an abandoned school building. Arts Department. The goddamn second floor women’s bathroom. The money would be exchanged by kicking it under the toilet stall. All you saw were her feet, usually in black boots and black pants or tights.

Yeah, Yoongi went to see the Sex Doctor because even though he was a skeptic, he was a skeptic who did research.

“So, did you come to see if I was real or not?” was the first question she had asked. She had a nice voice. Calm, unassuming. Inviting, not too serious. Light, with a hint of playfulness.

It had surprised him.

Then he cleared his throat and said, “No. I have something to say.”

“Let’s hear it.”

He didn’t really, but then a thought crossed his mind. Fuck it. What was this wacko gonna do? Judge him? He could walk out at any time.

“I think I like the chase more than I like relationships.”

Yoongi had stared at his hands and tucked his tongue in his cheek. Breathed in slowly. He never said that out loud even though he knew it was true. Couldn’t count the number of times he had been called a jerk and had to duck a slap. He broke relationships off with very little emotion. Without fail, he would always reach a point where he just didn’t care anymore.

“I find myself getting bored. The chase is fun, but it’s short-lived. People are ultimately boring. I lose interest and I don’t see a point in spending months continuously losing interest. It’s more fun to fuck around and toy with them than to be a boyfriend.”

“You don’t like the title?”

The title?

Boyfriend.

“To some extent, it has a certain amount of responsibility to it.”

Yoongi had frowned. “I’m not irresponsible.”

“Haha, I’m not saying that. I’m saying boyfriend and relationships in general have the weight of the other person’s feelings. You’re not responsible for them, but you have a stake in their feelings and emotional fulfillment. Having someone who relies on you for that is not ideal, but it does happen. For some people, they enjoy it to some extent. They like to be depended on. For others, it’s a burden. You think, don’t depend on me for your emotional state. You should figure it out yourself.”

Silence.

“You are good at this, huh?”

She had laughed.

It was a wonderful laugh. Yoongi liked it the first time he heard it and every time thereafter.

“Something like that.”

“I still think I’ll be bored every time the label switches from casual to relationship.”

“Labels are overrated. And there’s no rule saying you have to be in a relationship. You can fuck around and toy with them all you want.”

Yoongi liked the Sex Doctor. He went and visited several times thereafter, simply to talk. Didn’t tell anyone about it. It was a fun little game. He always paid, of course.

“Sex Doctor is a dumb title.”

“Believe me, I didn’t choose it. It didn’t have a name at first, mostly for my own safety, but you know people, they need labels and they need names, and they started calling me the Sex Doctor.”

“What would you have chosen?”

“Dark Sex Magician.”

That time, Yoongi had laughed.

“You have a cute laugh, Yoongi.”

He didn’t pause. “So do you.”

Now, present day, Yoongi watched as the Sex Doctor and Jeon Jungkook discussed what they were about to do after he had left. He watched in his apartment, in his bedroom, on his computer monitor, through the various angles of the four cameras set up in the trailer that he had rented as a spare music studio. That was the cover anyway. The revenue of the Sex Doctor thing was not very high. She charged just enough so that someone would think twice before paying, but not so much for it to be inaccessible or flaggable by a bookkeeper. The payments were not that significant. Yoongi wrote each one off as song production if any accountant asked. When inquired on who a particular client was, Yoongi would make up a fake internet personality. Influencer shit. Those came and went quickly.

No one ever questioned it.

“You know, this whole meeting-in-the-abandoned-toilets vibe is a bit cliché.”

“That’s why I chose it. I thought it would be funny,” she chuckled.

“Ever thought about upgrading?”

“I don’t have money to upgrade. Besides, you don’t like my digs?”

Silence.

Yoongi had stepped out of his stall. Walked to the door of the next one, the one he knew she was in because he could see the thick soles her black boots under the scratched up, dusky teal door. The tile was cracked and dirty, various shades of tan and ugly brown, the grout black. Yoongi doubted it was originally black.

He had looked up, at the door. Someone had written on the upper right of the door. A janitor had attempted to scrub it off, most likely years ago. Whoever had written it had scratched the paint and metal with something, so Yoongi could still read it.

Boys lie, I can too.

“You ever think about having a partner?” Yoongi had asked the bathroom stall.

The boots had taken a few steps forward. Turned. He saw the backs of the heels. Had to be over five centimeters high. Thunk. He heard weight on the door, as if a body was leaning against it.

“You ever think about being mine?”

Her voice was closer. Playful.

He liked it.

Yoongi had smiled, just a tick of the side of his lips.

“I wouldn’t be the partner of someone I’ve never seen the face of. Seems dangerous.”

He figured she would tell him to fuck off.

The door had opened.

His eyes found hers. She had grinned at him. Bit like a maniac, really.

Their eye contact made his heart beat fast.

“Well. I thought you might be hot.”

She had laughed. “I already knew you were hot.” Pointed to the entrance of the bathroom and he noticed the reflection of a screen tucked in the broken vent. “Spare phone to record everyone who comes in. Just in case I need to make any plans to tase any baddies.”

Yoongi had shaken his head. “There has to be a better way to do this.”

“Wanna workshop it?”

And so they did.

The first kiss had been after a long night of three back-to-back clients. She never spoke face-to-face. Always behind the white curtain. He was always in the back with her, watching. By her side in case anything happened. She always remained impartial and objective. Her voice would be even and calm, but he could see her face. He could see her expression when certain things got to her. The furrowing of brows. The small frowns or amused smiles. The reaching up and silently tracing her jaw, something she did when she was grounding herself and trying not to get too emotional, negative or positive.

When they finally closed the door after those three stressful stories, Yoongi looked into her eyes and he saw how emotionally drained she was. She had smiled at him. Didn’t say anything.

He had leaned over.

Kissed her.

Not a word of warning, not a sound, only a press of lips to lips, and he breathed in as if he could drag out all the feelings and replace them with something else. His eyes opened slowly. So did hers. He stayed close, watching. She looked at him. Leaned back in, light brush. He let her back up, and once again they were gazing at each other.

She had spoken softly, a sad whisper.

“You’ll get bored, Yoongi.”

Now Yoongi watched her climb into Jeon Jungkook’s lap and cradle the handsome face of the younger man with her graceful hands. The quality was shit, but, in Yoongi’s mind, everything was in high definition. He knew what she looked like. He knew what Jungkook looked like. He didn’t need the camera for anything other than for the positions of their bodies.

Yoongi watched her brush spare strands away from Jungkook’s forehead.

Their second kiss was her fingers in his hair and yanking his head back, crashing her lips down on him.

“You don’t have to take out your frustrations on me, Yoongi. If you’ve had a rough week, you can go home and rest. This isn’t a job. You aren’t forced to be here.”

“I have to be here. What if someone does something to you?”

“That’s not your responsibility. That’s theirs, and they will pay for it, believe me.”

“You’re stupid if you think you can handle everything.”

“I don’t think I can handle everything. I care about you. I’m sorry your work week was stressful, and I think you should go home and rest.”

He remembered being so angry about those words for some reason. Was it the way she said it or his initial annoyance that he had walked through the door with? It didn’t make any sense, but the fury had flared up inside him like a geyser and it refused to be quelled or hidden, neither of which were Yoongi’s tendencies anyway.

“If you cared about me, you wouldn’t pretend that you didn’t know I like you,” he had replied coldly.

And he turned around and took one step, but that was as far as he got – the next thing he knew was physical pain. Yoongi was no stranger to physical pain.

He was a stranger to that expression of those eyes as that bruising kiss took his exhale.

She grabbed his shirt and threw him against the wall of the trailer. The brutal mouth chased him and Yoongi found himself welcoming it. They could have used words, but words were the carriers of lies and actions could do no such thing. Her hands on his face, dragging him down and stealing his breath, and his hands went up her sweatshirt, cold fingertips against hot skin and feeding the fire, unbreakable eye contact, childish stubbornness in adult frustrations.

Right now, Yoongi watched Jungkook place his hands on her waist.

He knew neither of them could hear him.

“Hold on tight,” Yoongi whispered to Jungkook.

The third, fourth, fifth kisses all blurred together. He couldn’t count or discern them anymore. He was too focused on the hands, the tongue, the teeth, the heat, and it was straightforward, her tearing off his shirt, him dragging up her sweatshirt, then shuddering as her tongue touched his chest and traced up, up his neck and past his racing pulse, dotting kisses along his jaw and then taking his lips again.

He remembered looking into her eyes.

This is easier for you, isn’t it?

That was what her eyes said to him.

Yoongi hated that the answer was yes.

He remembered her sitting next to the white curtain, telling someone, “No one changes in a day. Not even when an impactful or significant event happens to them. Sometimes they don’t even know the importance of the moment.”

And in that moment of him grabbing her naked shoulders and pushing back, in dipping his head and biting down the curve of her breasts, soothing the pain with kisses, in pushing away the straps and pulling down the bra while listening to her sound, Yoongi knew that this was his impactful, significant event and he knew that he couldn’t change in a day.

He wished he was better than that, but everyone did, and the person with him knew that better than anyone. He tasted pleasure with his tongue and felt the hurt of her fingernails digging into his shoulders, and he recalled looking up with her nipple between his teeth. She had ticked her head, daring him. He had pressed the tip of his tongue against it and spread the nub with the wet muscle, witnessed her hiss and felt her tense in his grip, pushing her head back into the wall of the trailer he had rented for this Sex Doctor business that he had intruded into on a whim, and he knew that she knew that it wasn’t really a whim of curiosity.

It was the start of the chase.

Actually, the chase had started the second she opened that bathroom stall door.

Yoongi sat back and watched her kiss Jungkook like he had never been kissed before.

He wondered if Jungkook could feel the difference between an unsure kiss and her kiss of assertion, her kiss of intensity, her kiss that told a thousand emotions from lips to lips, unadulterated lust and utmost care. He wondered if Jungkook could feel it too, the kiss that said, let go, you’re safe now, and there were hints that Jungkook could feel it. Yoongi felt the side of his lips curve upward as he observed the impatient tug of the white puffer jacket, large hands casting it to the floor and caressing her back, itching for the hem of that velvet top to take it off.

He couldn’t see her eyes, but he knew what they must look like.

Amused, playful, a little maniacal to match her grin.

Yoongi had seen it, back then.

Pulling himself up, nails on her skin and leaning in, another kiss and he didn’t know the number, body to body, clothes coming off one by one, in that very trailer that Jungkook was stripping her in right now. Her hands on broad shoulders, pushing away the sporty-chic coat, feathering kisses on Jungkook’s face and neck, different from Yoongi who preferred the rough-and-tumble lip-lock and dancing tongues, but he saw the way Jungkook’s eyes closed, heard Jungkook’s moan loud and clear, and he knew part of it was the same, the desire audible and visible.

Yoongi continued to watch, silent in his bedroom, listening to the sounds of passion, remembering the conversation in the aftermath, among the fallen clothes and naked bodies, faces close and responsibilities forgotten.

“Will you get bored?”

He had been honest. Yoongi didn’t know how to be any other way.

“I don’t know.”

She has stared into his eyes.

“Just hate me then.”

Yoongi wanted to say they never did it again, but that was a lie. He wanted to say that he was beginning to change, that he was beginning to believe, but the truth was that he still didn’t know, that he was still scared that the second it went from casual to boyfriend that he would become bored, not because she was boring, but maybe, just maybe…

Maybe there was something wrong with him.

Yoongi watched Jungkook cup her cheeks and bring her lips back to his.

Maybe it would be better if Jungkook accompanied her to these meetings. Jungkook was stronger. Dedicated. A little clumsy at the moment, but a fast learner. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad because then she would have someone to take care of her in the aftermath of Yoongi’s carelessness.

I appreciate you.

Yoongi spoke to the air.

“Why do you say shit like that?”

No one replied.

He watched Jungkook’s shirt be removed, revealing black tattoos and lean muscle.

She didn’t want to love him because Yoongi couldn’t confirm if he would put in the effort or not, and she acted insufferable to deter him from falling any deeper, and she ran her tongue all over Jungkook’s chest and made him moan like he was experiencing the greatest delicacy the world could offer, and Yoongi sat there and still didn’t fucking know if he would say that he wouldn’t get bored.

He heard Jungkook gasp and saw her travel down, down, teeth and tongue and lips all over his chest and abs, her lean body sliding between Jungkook’s legs.

It wasn’t about Jungkook.

He listened to Jungkook whimper as he lifted his ass and had his pants yanked down, heard the sound of wet muscle on hot, taut skin, witnessed the tongue slide around the hard length, overheard the slurping sound as she swallowed it all with one gulp, Jungkook’s lustful moan filling the speakers.

It wasn’t even about her.

Her head moving up and down and Yoongi knew the feeling, tight, wet, tongue sliding up and down and rubbing all over, making his cock swell and twitch right now with the memory.

“It’s about me, isn’t it?” he muttered.

That was what it was. Him. He said, people are boring, I get bored. It was an excuse. Bored was simply an excuse for, I know it’s possible that I’ll become what I hate the most – dependent on you for emotional fulfillment. He tried to force her to say that she didn’t want to love him, and she never once gave in into his provoking.

It was easier for him if she hated him.

But she never did.

She went all the way down and licked all over Jungkook’s balls, not that Yoongi could see, but he knew that was what it was since Jungkook was writhing in his seat and whining, “Oh, fuck, h-holy shit, how–?” Probably the figure-eight’s or scooping them with her tongue and bouncing them as the swollen head was shoved into the deepest part of her throat.

It was entirely possible that she would never let him become emotionally dependent.

In fact, that was highly likely.

Yoongi just didn’t want to admit that he could become what he always complained about.

He tucked his tongue in his cheek and leaned back in his chair. Listened to Jungkook’s sounds, watched his hand rise, then pause, hesitation that didn’t go unnoticed. She reached out and locked her fingers with those tattooed ones, pulling him back and placing Jungkook’s hand on her head.

“A-Are you sure?”

She pinned the chair down and Jungkook raised his hips.

Yoongi knew that she could lick your balls while you fucked her face. Judging by Jungkook’s immediate groans and lolling of his head, he was experiencing it right now. It would be difficult to hold the position while sitting in the chair, but Jungkook worked out and had balance, not to mention formidable lust-driven resolve. He was a gentleman though. Slowly and carefully fucking her face. Yoongi could hear the wet slapping sounds loud and clear, saw Jungkook’s black hair cascading backward, closed eyes and fucked-out bliss on the younger man’s face, slightly pixelated but Yoongi needed no reminder for how handsome Jungkook was.

Why, there was a photo of Jungkook and Yoongi on his desk right now, along with the five other males in their friend group.

“Ah, f-fuck, faster, please, o-o-oh shiiit…”

Yoongi watched her take over the pace, expertly quick and from base to tip, maximum stimulation and tightness, her shoulder blades flexed and ponytail bouncing.

“Do that thing,” he murmured under his breath, knowing feel well she couldn’t hear. “Rub the head against the roof of your mouth, come on. Make him lose his mind.”

He saw the angle of her head change.

Yoongi felt the side of his lips quirk upward.

Sweet and silvery cry, almost like music.

“Oh, yes, that feels s-so good, gonna cum, fuck, a-ah...!”

Yoongi always said Jungkook was talented. A wonderful singer if he ever decided to become one.

Gasping moan, the sharp snap of the wooden chair hitting the floor and those muscular legs sliding back, the tattooed hand loosely on her head as she noticeably and noisily swallowed, sending Jungkook into soft, needy whimpers. Slow and steady licking. Fingers kneading Jungkook’s thighs, sending shivers up his spine and pleasure brimming in his veins, unable to come down from the high as her tongue worked him in the aftermath of orgasm.

Yoongi knew exactly how Jungkook was feeling because he himself felt it before.

She didn’t usually have sex with them. Only sometimes, when the question was sex-related and when both parties gave consent. She never showed anyone her face unless they were about to have sex. The encounter was usually brief. She didn’t like to linger. It was a learning experience for them, not emotional.

This was different.

This was emotional.

This had a purpose.

Yoongi wondered if she had known Jungkook would want to fuck.

Probably.

She read people like a book.

Or was it only to get a rise out of Yoongi and make him think?

Hm.

Likely both.

Fuck.

“You don’t want to say you love me because you wanted me to make a choice without the influence of your feelings.”

Yoongi spoke softly even though no one could hear him but himself.

He watched her crawl up Jungkook’s lap and kiss the younger man. Deep, sweet, loving. Over and over, working his tongue, tugging at his lower lip with her teeth, kissing right under that open mouth that was struggling to breathe under the weight of her passion.

She kissed Yoongi like that too.

“And I don’t want to love you because I don’t want to hurt you.”

So don’t.

Yoongi watched Jungkook grab her ass and pull her close, heard him moan as that skillful, agile mouth decorated his neck.

“I don’t know if I won’t hurt you.”

The side of his lips ticked upward as Jungkook whispered her name, hot and low, begging for more.

“Hah, but you don’t care if I hurt you, do you?”

She pulled that black head of hair down to her shoulder and tilted her head, giving Jungkook access to the side of her neck and under her ear, her favorite spot for soft lips to touch and hot tongue to tease.

Her eyes shifted.

Right into the lens of one of the hidden cameras.

She knew who was watching.

There was only one possible person, after all.

Yoongi smirked, full and open-mouthed.

“Yeah, I get it. Stop worrying and do it.” He tilted his head at her image. Heard the sound of her soft sigh, saw her hands tangle in Jungkook’s black locks and the other claw up the broad, muscular back of his friend, leaving lines in her wake. “Maybe I just like watching you fuck all these poor helpless people.”

She grinned to the camera. A bit maniacal.

Teasing him?

Or did she already know that she succeeded?

Yoongi shrugged. Didn’t matter. He sat back and settled in his chair to enjoy the show.

“I’ll ask you out when you least expect it, my rotten peach.”

She clutched onto Jungkook and the two of them tumbled to the floor in limbs and lust.

--

masterpost

[maedaex2combo]

More Than Pale

Chapter Two: When Feelings Go Unspoken

Post-retcon / Post-sburb

[CH 1] ==>

———————————————————————

Pairings: Dave x Karkat x Reader (GenderNeutral!Reader Human!Reader)

Warnings: Strong language, Alcoholism, Angst.

Word Count: 16.3k (itsmorethistimeimsorry)

Summary: After sobering up and getting your music career up and running again, you reconnect with an old friend from your tour. This causes more than a few issues between you and your two "platonic" best friends. Is it jealousy or is it for your well-being?

A/N: Holy shit I finally finished this chapter LMAO. God this took me forever y'all I'm so sorry. I'm literally in a foreign country right now for study but I'll be damned if I let that stop me (I only let it slow me down significantly). Anyways I was kind of struggling with what direction I wanted to take the story to get the boys to realize their feelings, but this is what I came up with! I hope it's good because I can't keep reading over this monstrosity of a chapter anymore. But we've got a new character and high high tension in this one. Sorry for all the angst! But it'll be worth it in the end ;) Enjoy!

———————————————————————

Lets get into it x2

It’s been a month!

A month of sobriety. A month of working on your new album. A month since the breakdown video, which ended up getting cleared up with both the public and your friends. The dinner with Rose and Kanaya was awkward, you’ll admit, but they actually helped with their advice about staying sober. The picnic with Roxy, Calliope, and Jade was helpful as well and encouraged you to spend more time with your other friends. All in all, you were doing a lot better now! You even wrote one of your songs about your journey towards recovery and self-love so far. In a livestream, you ended up crying at how supportive your fans were. Things were really looking up for you.

The album was maybe about halfway done now. At the moment you’re currently working on your track with Dave as a feature and writer. He’s been having trouble with his own writing, despite all his work being very good, as you continue to tell him. You think he’s just being especially hard on himself since he knows this will be largely produced and listened to by millions. You’ve been patient though, always, for him.

The room is scattered with papers, whole ones and crumpled ones. Really, this was not very eco friendly. You probably could’ve written in a tablet or something. All the tech though was being used for recording, beat making, mixing, etc. There's cords everywhere like a death trap. It’s a mess.

You’re reading over one of the verses for the thousandth time when Dave walks back in again with AJ and a water for you.

“so what do you think?”

“Dave. Every time I tell you it’s perfect! You’re the one who’s nitpicking.”

“yeah but if it’s perfect then why do you keep giving me feedback?”

“Because you insist!!!” You laugh a little at the ridiculousness of the past several hours spent going back and forth like this. You stand up and hand the paper towards him for the last time. “This is it, Dave. This is the final draft. I officially have no more comments.”

“but-“ he starts to protest.

“Nope!”

“ok just-“

“Nuh-uh.”

“dude-“

“No!”

He finally breaks out into a smile. “okay! okay. but just for the last line. I think that-”

“What was that?? I think someone’s calling me, I can’t hear you. One second.” He sighs as you clearly answer a fake phone call. “Hello? Who is it?… Oh my gosh, Barrack Obama???… Wow, such an honor to talk to you sir. To what do I owe the pleasure?-“

“hey. don’t bring him into this.” He says, but there’s still that little amused smirk on his face.

“Oh, what’s that? You read the copy of Dave’s verses I sent you? Thank you, sir! And what’d you think? Oh, wow…. Really??? You think it's THAT bangin?? That’s great! I’ll let him know!” Dave rolls his eyes behind his shades as you pretend to give Americas greatest president your farewells.

“thats not funny. identity theft is a crime (y/n).”

“You know what’s not a crime? Being confident in your bomb ass work. Seriously, why are you so anxious about it? You like your own music, don’t you?”

“of course bro. i write the fucking sickest raps on this planet.”

“Then why-“

“this is different. im not just posting this on my shitty little personal noisecloud account. this track might end up playing in every goddammed mall, cafe, club, and whatever else is on earth c. this is gonna be like- my own official debut. if i put this song out there on your album, its gonna be the whole planets first real look at my music. people are gonna search me up- and if it’s too good then theyll look at my old songs and be all ‘aw shit dude this guy actually sucks’. but if its not good then theyll just assume my music is ass and wont even bother-“

“Dave.” You cut off his rambling suddenly, taking a step closer to him.

“what??” He snaps, clearly stressed, as he whips his head around to look at you.

“It’s good. I promise it’s good.” You take one of his hands in both of yours. “It’s just as good as all your other music. I promise you. Your debut will be a huge success, I already know it. You don't have anything to worry about.”

It’s silent after that. He just stares at you for a while, and the assumed eye contact feels weirdly intimate after a moment passes. From your point of view, you think maybe you went too far. You just wanted to reassure him, but you probably made him uncomfortable. 'I really have to draw the line for this stuff somehow' You think. You start to blush a little out of embarrassment, and quickly let go of his hand to turn away and clear your throat. Not that that makes it any less uncomfortable.

From Dave’s point of view, well, he’s not even quite sure what he’s feeling. He's had these weirdly intimate moments with you ever since he found out you had feelings for him. Did he ever get this flustered around you before that? He cant remember. It’s a good thing that he doesn’t usually blush very much, because it must’ve been unnoticeable to you. He wishes it was unnoticeable to him too, the way his heart started to beat faster when you touched his hand and comforted him, and even faster every second your eyes stayed connected. It felt so nice, it left him speechless long enough for you to think he was uncomfortable. this is weird… this feeling… i have a matesp- boyfriend. so why do i feel-

And then you’re pulling away. And he shakes off the weird emotions he doesn’t want to address as quickly as they came.

“Anyways.” You quickly add onto that comically awkward cough as you make your way back to your own desk with your own writing. “If you want to keep perfecting it, that’s fine. But y'know that one saying… Uhh what was it… Don’t fix what isn’t broken? Right?”

Dave nods. “yeah i guess.” He replies as he goes to sit back down at his desk. Right before he can take a seat, someone knocks on the door of your workroom. You both know who it is of course.

Karkat opens the door before either of you even get to say anything. “HEY. SORRY TO BOTHER YOU TWO WHEN YOU’RE ‘IN THE ZONE’ OR WHATEVER. BUT SOMEONE'S AT THE FRONT DOOR ASKING FOR (Y/N).”

“Huh?” This catches your attention, turning your body in your chair to look at him. “Who is it??”

“NO FUCKING CLUE. HE SAYS YOU KNOW HIM.”

Your heart sinks a little, immediately assuming the worst. “Oh, shit. Is it one of the guys I’ve dated?? Tell them I’m not here!!”

“NO, (Y/N). UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, I THINK I WOULD RECOGNIZE THEM. IM PRETTY SURE IM SO TRAUMATIZED BY ALL THOSE DATE NIGHTS, THAT THEIR FACES ARE ENGRAVED INTO MY FUCKING THINKPAN FOREVER AGAINST MY WILL. BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS DOUCHE BEFORE.”

Now you’re curious. And apparently your two friends are as well, when they follow you into the hall and quietly peak their head out from behind the stairs to see who the mystery man is.

When you open the door, you need to take a second to get a good look at him. He has curly black wolf-cut hair, and when he takes off his expensive-looking maroon shades, he’s got really well drawn black eyeliner on. You immediately recognize him now that you can get a good look at his face. He was one of your openers on tour! You spent a couple months together and he was really cool from what you can remember. You can’t believe you forgot to keep in touch! Then again, a lot happened for you.

“Rael!!!” Your face lights up and you excitedly pull him into a hug, taking him by a bit of surprise, but his smiles big when he returns the hug.

“(Y/n)! Hey! I missed you, dude!” The two of you pull back, grinning. “How you been? I saw all that stuff that happened last month and got worried. Thought I’d come check on ya!” Karkat and Dave share a confused glance with eachother.

You laugh a little, embarrassed that he had to read/see about that. “Ooohhh yeah… that was crazy! Haha.. But I’m doing a lot better now! I’m working on my next album!”

“I heard! I bet it’s coming along great.” He compliments, putting his hands on his hips. "Your tracks are always groundbreaking."

You blush. “Hahah.. Thanks! But yeah, it is coming along really well." You’re smiling bigger than you have in a while. It feels so good to see another artists from your tour again, brings back good memories, as exhausting as the trip was. There were people who made it worth it. “Would you… like to come in?” You suggest suddenly on a whim.

“Oh, that’s okay! I know you’re busy. I just thought I’d come by and say hello, since I was in the area.”

“Are you sure? I'd love to have you over for a while! Maybe I could show you what I’ve been working on?” You suggest, a little bashful. You haven’t shown anyone but Dave and Karkat your work so far. It’d be good to get another artists opinion as well.

“Hmm…” He takes a second to think, looking off to the side. “Well, alright! Since you insist!” He agrees suddenly, and the two of you laugh, chatting some more as he walks in alongside you into the house. Dave and Karkat go back into the workroom when they notice you coming in.

When you two enter to see them, Rael is the first to speak. “Hey! These must be the god-friends I heard you talk about so much!” He announces, and you blush a little. “Its nice to finally meet you two! The famous Dave Strider! I heard your beats are nice!"

"sup." Dave nods in resonse, his hands in his pockets.

He looks over to Karkat. "And uh… Wait don’t tell me… Kitkat?”

“KARKAT.” He sneers, immediately put off by this guy.

“Oh right! Haha, funky name.” He totally misses the aggravated response. Humans sometimes have a hard time with troll names, but it comes off as xenophobic if they don’t even try or apologize. It’s one of Kar’s many pet peeves. He only didn’t go off on the guy because Dave immediately took his hand behind his leg to calm him down subtly. You laugh a little awkwardly to fill the short, yet thick, following silence.

“and who are you?” Dave asks, melancholy.

"Oh right. Guys this is-"

“Name’s Rael! I’m a friend of (Y/n)’s. We were on tour together!” He cuts you off, but you don't think much of it.

“His music’s really good! I thought he could help us out a little bit. Maybe give us an outside view for editing purposes?” You smile, intentions good, totally forgetting Dave’s thing about privacy and how much he would and does think that's an awful fucking idea.

“im good.” Is his short reply.

“What? Dave!” You immediately retort.

“It’s okay, I can just take a look! I don’t have to give any real criticism if you don’t want it!” Rael offers, but Dave’s cold expression doesn’t budge. There’s a very tense air in the room right now. The silence unfortunately pushes Rael to continue his paragraph. “Hey, I get it man! Some people just can’t take it, I’ve had a lot of friends go off on me for-“

“yeah. really. im good.” Dave reports again, cutting him off in the same tense tone. “you two can knock yourselves out though. think im all written out for today anyways.”

Then he’s grabbing all his writings that he can see and walking out of the room. Karkat follows behind, not without his signature dirty look glaring directly at your friend. The door slams after him.

Yeah. They’re never really elusive or subtle with how they feel, are they? As much as Dave tries to be. This doesn’t surprise you, but you’d be lying if you weren’t a little upset. Also, it was a little bit out of character for Dave to be so cold to someone new. Why was he acting so weird?

“Well then!” You say, clapping your hands together and faking a smile, trying to forget that strange interaction. “Shall we get started then?”

You two spend the next several hours in the workroom. Every laugh from behind the door seems to vibrate throughout the whole house. The intense air followed the two boys into the living room where they’ve been biding their time doing whatever the hell they could think of. Mostly video games. Theres no real one set reason to why the events of today seem to put the two in a bad mood. Karkat of course didn’t like this 'friend' of yours based off first impression, but he doesn’t ever like new people honestly. He’s also just pissed he has to deal with him being in the house for this extended amount of time, even having to see him walk out to use your bathroom once. It was silently pissing him off. Or as silent as he can get, only warranting a few angry outburst rants to Dave saying things like “HOW LONG IS THIS ASSHOLE GONNA STAY IN THERE?” and “HE MIGHT AS WELL FUCKING MOVE IN AT THIS POINT.”

Dave on the other hand didn’t really have a problem with the guy, other than the way he greeted Kar earlier, which also set a bad first impression for him. He’s more-so annoyed with you, for suddenly bringing in a stranger and offering to share his personal work with him when you know- or should know- he wouldn’t like that. He was already struggling with the track, and now he can’t even work on it for today. But it’s whatever. (It’s not.) At least that’s the conclusion he’s come to.

Finally, after what feels like forever, at 11:48pm, Rael finally gets escorted out into the front hall. He says goodbye to your friends, which grants him what sounds like a muttered goodbye and a headnod without eye contact. (I’m sure you know who’s who.).

You hug him in the doorway and send him on his way, satisfied with how tonight went. Other than maybe one thing.

You walk into the living room and stand in front of the TV as to get your best friend's attention. They both look up at you.

“Hey… I’m sorry about earlier. I know what he said was maybe rude, and a little intense. But I promise he’s a cool.”

“YEAH RIGHT. THAT GUY SEEMED LIKE A SHITHEAD.” Karkat says immediately, sitting tucked into the corner of the couch.

“Karkat.” You frown at his never-failing bluntness.

“its cool. just maybe dont bring him into the workroom again.” Dave says from his spot chilling on the floor, looking at something on his camera.

“Why not?”

“because dude. i got my work in there too. you know i don’t want some random people seeing my personal feels-jam shit.” He says plainly, glancing up at you now.

“Okay, well, he’s not just some ‘random guy’, he’s my friend.”

“big emphasis on ‘your friend’.”

You sigh, moving forward to sit on top of the coffee table. “Okay, I’m sorry. I just thought maybe he could help you get inspired! If you gave him a chance, I'm sure you’d see he’s really great and you two would hit it off… Artistically, I mean.” You say the last part glancing at Karkat nervously. He didn’t care of course.

“maybe. but i just met the dude today.”

“AND HES AN ASS.” Karkat adds again, arms crossed.

“He is not. You’ll see. I’ll bring him over again and you guys can actually talk this time.”

“PLEASE DONT.” He chimes.

“Karkat, can you at least try to give him a chance? This could be good for us.”

“FOR US? WHAT THE HELL ABOUT THIS IS GOOD FOR US? NEITHER OF US WANT HIM OVER.”

“But you guys should really be meeting more people! I finally have the chance to introduce you to someone you don’t know, but I do! This could be a chance to maybe socialize? I think you guys need it.-”

“and i think you obviously have a thing for this guy.” Dave suddenly adds.

“What!?” You blurt out, very thrown off by this accusation.

“cmon (y/n). you were putting on the happy-go-lucky ass demeanor you always have when some dude youre into is around. and you were laughing like every minute.”

“LOUDLY. IT WAS INTERRUPTING MY GODDAMN THOUGHTS.”

You frown at this sudden accusation, and blush intensely at their teasing. “I do not have a thing for him!! He’s my friend!! And I’m trying to make him your guys too!”

“hard pass.”

“DAVE!” You shout in protest. He finally has to let out a snicker at how insistent you were being about this. It really couldn’t be more obvious. You blush harder.

“alriiiiiiiight alright. fine. if it means that much to you then ill try.”

Your smile finds its way back again slightly, still blushing. “Thank you.” Then you turn to Karkat.

“NO.” Is his immediate response as soon as you make eye contact, because he knows exactly what you’re about to ask.

“Karkaaaaatttttt” You plead. “Pleeeeaaaaaseeeeee!”

He glares at you, and you keep strong with your pouting, waiting for him to give in. This is held for a weird amount of time, as Dave watches, pretty amused by it. And then-

“UUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH” He groans loudly and throws his head back, signaling that he's given in.

“Thank you!!!” You immediately respond to his groaning. You go over and give him a big hug, to which he weakly tries to retract from, as an attempt to show how much he did not want to agree to this.

“OH WHATEVER! GET OFF ME!!!” He yells, starting to blush lightly, but you can tell by his weak squirming that he didn’t actually dislike it. If he really wanted you off, he’d be clawing at you like a cat or something. You’ve seen it happen. 

—————————————————————

And so your fate was set.

After that night, Rael comes over and tries again with the two boys. It goes better than last time, but they’re still not quite convinced. So, he comes over again, and again. And again. But it unsurprisingly becomes less and less for their sake.

One day, the two of you actually go out on an official “date”. To which the boys are very skeptical of, considering past mishaps. You insist to them it’ll be fine.

“We’ve been hanging out with Rael for a few weeks now! It won’t be any different than how it usually is hanging out with him! I’ll be fine.”

So, hesitantly, they let you go. They’re silently anxious and impatient when they wait for you that night, trying to bide their time in a way that tried to make it seem like they weren't both feeling this way.

To their surprise and relief, you come back totally sober. And happy! They haven’t seen you this happy in a while. Maybe this is a good thing after all… Right?

It’s an hour since you got back from your date with Rael and you’re in the bathroom doing your nightly routine. When you hear a knock on the bathroom door, you give your permission for them to enter, and in walks Karkat. “Hey Kar. What’s up?” You say, only glancing at him for a moment before going back to applying toner.

“SO… TONIGHT REALLY WENT WELL? LIKE YOU’RE NOT LYING AT ALL?”

“Yes. I promise you it went well.” You assure him again, despite having done so ealier.

“OKAY… YEAH. BECAUSE YOU SEEM REALLY HAPPY… ITS KIND OF WEIRD.”

You hold back a laugh, but it comes out anyways kind of like a snort. “What’s that supposed to mean?! It’s not like it was a date with just any random person like before!” You exclaim and he nods, leaning against the door, arms crossed. “Plus, you should know since I’m totally 300% definitely sober. Do you still want to test me just in case? I’ll walk in a straight line, look!” You start to do so as a joke, but realize after a few seconds that something is off with him. He looks lost in thought. “Kar.. What’s up? Is something wrong?”

The question seems to snap him back to the moment suddenly. “WHAT?! YEAH. I MEAN NO!! IM FINE.”

You frown, titling your head a little. “Are.. you sure?”

It’s quiet for a moment.

“…YOU REALLY LIKE HIM THAT MUCH?”

You smile, making sure once again that he knows you’re very serious about this. “Yes! I really really do. Seriously.” You reassure him, but you don’t realize that’s not at all what he wanted to hear. “I’m actually thinking about asking him…” You continue, but trail off.

“TO BE YOUR MATESPRIT???” Karkat shouts, eyes widening slightly and arms dropping.

“Well… yeah. I mean…“ You look away sheepishly. “Do you think I shouldn’t? I know how you guys feel about him, so-“

“YEAH. GO AHEAD. DO IT.”

Your head shoots back to him, surprised, not noticing the tensity of his response. “Really?!”

“YEAH. DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT. GO BE HAPPY WITH HIM OR WHATEVER.”

This time you notice the harshness, but you brush it off as the usual grumpy commentary you get from your friend, not reading much into it. “Oh!… Okay! Thank you! I-“

“IM GOING TO BED. NIGHT (Y/N).” He says and he’s leaving before you can even protest.

“..Night..” you say weakly, even though no one’s there anymore. You hear a door slam down the hallway. Something in your heart sinks as you replay what just happened and analyze the look on Karkats face that whole conversation. It was almost…

You don’t even know. Really, what was that?

Anyhow, after that night, you two do make it official. Rael is over more often. Then, suddenly he’s spending the night “since he stays so late anyways”. The boys get used to him, but no closer to him at all. They more-so just put up with him for your sake. It’s what they had figured they might have to do when you eventually made it official with someone unfortunately. But there’s still always been something off about Rael, the way he’s so “chill” and “happy” all the time, to the point where it seems almost passive aggressive. There was a time where they watched while you disagreed with what they were ordering for dinner, and it almost seemed like he manipulated you into agreeing. But he was so subtle and upbeat about it that it was hard to point out. Plus, it’d be weird to address that they’re being that observant. Things like that happened pretty often, but they never decide to address it outwardly.

Work on the album continues as well. You’re more inspired and motivated than ever. Dave and you finalize your collab together, and all that’s left now is recording. What could go wrong?

… Lol.

—————————————————————

A few weeks pass since you got into your new relationship. You, Dave, and Rael took today to go to the studio together. Karkats been alone at home for a few hours, not wanting to tag along. He decided to actually try and bake you two something as a surprise, being the romantic yet non-physically-affectionate troll that he is. He knows the baking is done when the oven starts smoking. That’s definitely how this works.

As he goes to take the (basically burnt) pastries out of the oven, the door swings open with a loud bang, and then slams close with the same volume. Karkat nearly drops the container when the sound comes out of nowhere, followed by his clearly aggravated boyfriend flying into the room. He takes a seat on one of the dining room chairs. It stands quiet for a moment as Karkat stares at the blonde in shocked-confusion, oven mitts and pan still in hands.

“…DAVE?” He finally says to get his attention. 

Dave quickly whips his head around to face him. “yeah? whats up?” He asks without hesitation, acting as if he didn’t just make a scene, and isn’t home earlier than expected.

“WHAT HAPPENED?? WHY ARE YOU HERE??”

“what? a dude can’t fly into his own home and take a seat on his comically high dining room chair?”

Karkat blinks a few times. “ISN’T IT EARLY FOR YOU TO BE HOME? ARE YOU FINISHED DOING YOUR-“

“yep. we finished early.”

“OKAY… WHERES (Y/N)-“

“probably still recording.”

“PROBABLY??? BUT-“

Another unnecessarily loud bang as the front door opens, and you come flying in.

“CAN WE NOT JUST OPEN THE DOOR LIKE NORMAL FUCKING PEOPLE?!” Karkat yells, now very aggravated after almost dropping the baked goods on the floor for the second time.

“Dave!!” You yell, remaining hovering above ground when you come to a halt in front of him. “What the hell was that about?! What do you mean you won’t do it?!”

“WONT DO WHAT??” Karkat asks from behind you, still confused.

“i just don’t feel like doing it anymore.”

“What?! But we spent so long working on the song! What happened?”

“YEAH SO IM SURE ITS A BIG FUCKING SURPRISE TO ALL OF US, BUT IM WONDERING THE SAME THING!!” Karkat interjects between the two of you, really desiring some type of answer.

You sigh, looking over to Karkat. “Dave suddenly said he didn’t wanna do the song anymore after we spent like not even a half hour trying to record it. He just said he didn’t want to do it and flew out!” You turn to look at Dave again. “I had to leave Rael at the studio to come chase you!”

“yeah well why don’t you go back to him then?”

“UGH! Why are you being like this??! I thought you liked the song!”

“i do.”

“Then why?!”

“i just don’t want to produce it anymore.”

“But!… but…” You trail off, not sure what to say anymore.

Silence. The three of you stay still for a moment, Dave looking to the side, you staring at him, and Karkat staring back and forth between both of you with—you guessed it— a still very-confused expression. You guys usually never argue like this. If you fight, it’s always lighthearted, but this felt different. None of you know how far you can take this. You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down before you speak again. You lower yourself so your feet touch the floor, slowly.

“Fine.. fine. We won’t release the song.” You say as calmly as you can. “But… can you please tell me the actual reason why?”

“…”

You and Karkat both stare at him, waiting for his response. The silence is deafening.

“i don’t want him working on the album.” He says, finally turning his head back to face you.

“What??”

“your boyfriend.”

“Why not?”

“because he ruins my flow.”

“Your flow.”

“yes.”

You turn your head from him to roll your eyes.

“Dave. He’s been helping me with almost this entire process. I can’t just not credit him or exclude him from production suddenly.” You tell him, crossing your arms.

“then i don’t want my song on the album. ill release it on the next one or something.” he says, mirroring you by crossing his arms, and leaning back in his chair.

“Are you serious right now?” You say, totally taken back at how stubborn he was being.

“yeah.” The two of you glare at each other, him straight-faced and you just straight-up pissed off.

This is really the first time things have ever gotten this heated between you guys, surprisingly, and it felt so weird. This never even happened when you three were stuck in the same building on a meteor in space for three years. There was bickering, sure, but never actual heartfelt aggression. The worst it’s ever gotten was when Karkat and Dave first met and fought all the time. But you’ve never actually fought with either of them in a serious light.

At this point Karkat’s had about all he can take while being silent. “ALRIGHT.” He finally drops the pan on the counter, and whips back around to address you both. “CAN YOU TWO JUST FIGURE OUT A GODDAMN SOLUTION? WITH ALL OF THE FUCKING BARELY-ANYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE SITUATION, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW THIS IS PAINFULLY STUPID AND POINTLESS.”

“Tell him that! He’s the one who’s being totally unreasonable!” You retort, gesturing with one hand to Strider.

“i just don’t want my song on the album, is that such a big fucking deal? you have plenty of other ones. just make one with him or something.” He says coldly.

He’s never been this heartless to you. His words sting. You really wanted to release this song with him. It felt special, since you two put so much into it, it’s one of your favorite pieces off the whole disk.

Your frown gets deeper. “I want to release our song Dave. We worked so hard on it!”

“okay let’s just release it as a single then.”

“BUT WH-“ You take a sharp inhale. “Yknow what?” They both watch you as you carefully calm yourself down. “Fine. Let’s just release it later then! If that’s what you want.” You finally get out, in the most passive aggressively upbeat tone.

“okay.”

“Okay.”

“cool.”

“Great.”

“awesome.”

“Amazing.”

“rad.”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD. CAN ONE OF YOU JUST FUCKING LEAVE OR SOMETHING?! MY EARS ARE GOING TO START BLEEDING.”

“Gladly!” Are your parting words as you take his advice and fly up to your room. That’s when you know you’re upset, you don’t even bother using the stairs.

Karkat looks over at Dave somewhat sympathetically. Dave avoids eye contact with him, already knowing the look he’s getting.

“YOU WANNA TELL ME WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED NOW?” He asks, walking over to take a seat next to him.

Dave sighs hard and slumps into his seat, sinking into the hoodie he’s wearing. “i just cant fucking stand that guy. i dont even know why. i hate that i have to work with him. i already feel uncomfortable enough releasing my shit officially.”

Karkat nods along. Usually it’s him ranting, so he does take special care to be a listener when it’s Dave’s turn, which of course he's still good at with his history of people relying on him with their problems.

“-and like. he didn’t even say anything specifically. i don’t even know what it was dude. something just ticked me off and it was the last fucking straw i swear. like if i told you youd be like 'wow thats a fucking stupid thing to get pissed and quit about' but its not just that-“ He continues to rant for quite a while.

Meanwhile, you’re upstairs ranting to Rael over the phone. He only lets you talk for a short amount of time before he has to go, but he promises he locked up the studio and everything before he left. Still, you can’t help but feel discouraged about the whole thing as you lay on your bed, listening to your unreleased album through again with your headphones. Why was he being like this? Things were going so well… What happened?

You decide to go to bed early.

Time goes by too quickly for your liking after that. Dave stays stubborn, despite your pleading. And you really do end up releasing the album without one of its best pieces you were hoping to showcase.

Still though, it does incredibly well. It hits all the top charts, and passes record streams in less than a week. You’re getting bombarded for interviews, music video shoots, magazine features, etc. And yet, you haven’t taken any offers. You still barely go outside. You spend most of the day sleeping and just scrolling through the stats and comments on your phone. Things have been tense and awkward with your housemates ever since the argument. You’re not sure anymore if you’re still upset at Dave or upset at yourself that you actually went through with the release without him. Is that what he really wanted? It seemed like it. Karkat won’t talk to you about it either. It’s kinda been like the silent treatment.

You hate it.

Your boyfriend tries to beg you for some publicity, which he’s very rarely successful in. It gets a few appearances from you, but fans are still not satisfied. The little publicity you two do together, though, also gets him a lot of attention. Everyone wants to know more about you two and how you met.

You’re so tired. Why are you tired? Your boyfriend tells you that maybe you need to get away from your environment for a while. Maybe he’s right.

——————————————————————————————

It’s been about two weeks since the album release. Tonight there’s a dinner party being held at Kanaya and Rose’s gigantic house, to celebrate the album’s success and discuss deals with professionals interested. There’s lots of people there, musicians, producers, artists, directors, etc, and of course your friends. No reporters were invited, per your request stemming from past events anxiety. Karkat and Dave show up as well, to your surprise. You’re silently glad they still decided to show support in some way, despite not actually talking to you in several days. They came after you, and when you spotted them you got excited and nervous as hell at the same time. You never feel this way with them, it's like they're strangers suddenly?

You’re greeting all your friends as you make your rounds through the giant event hall. Everything is decorated so beautifully, of course the married couple always having an incredible eye for interior design. You make note to thank them again for all this later.

“Roxy! Calliope! June, so nice to see you!” You exclaim, making your way over to the group of three familiar faces. 

The black-haired girl in thick glasses and a blue dress stands up to greet you. “(Y/n)! Big congrats on the release!! I listened to it when it came out and I love it! Really inspiring stuff.” June says happily, beaming that toothy smile.

You mirror her reaction. “Thank you so much. I appreciate the support guys, really.”

“Of course babe!! We got you no matter what.” Roxy smiles, giving you a sly lil wink.

“Yes.. I’m happy to be of sUpport to any of my friends.” Calliope adds. “I hope to see yoU continUe down yoUr road of sUccess!”

You keep conversing with them for a little while before moving on. You talk to Terezi and Vriska, Dirk and Jake and Jade, and many other visitors for a little while. Eventually you get pretty exhausted from all the social interaction, and decide to take a break at the snack table you've been eyeing for the past half hour.

Your boyfriend accompanies you as you approach the table, decked out with insanely delicious looking treats. You don’t even know where to start.

“Hey sweetheart. How’s it going? How you feelin?” He asks, placing a hand on your lower back.

“I’m great! The album and the party have been such a success... What wouldn’t there be to be happy about?” You reply without looking up at him, placing a few fruits on your small porcelain plate.

“You say that, but I know something’s been buggin' you. You know you can talk to me, right?” He replies. You feel a pang of guilt for masking your feelings so much around him lately. You’re scared to complain to him about how much not being able to talk to your best friends is effecting you.

“Yes! Yeah. Of course." You try to shake off the awkward feeling of secrecy with someone you're supposed to confide in. "But.. I promise, I’m okay! I’m more than okay! I just can’t believe this is all really happening.” You insist as you move right to grab some small cakes, putting on a half-fake smile. You really are happy with how things are going. Everything besides that. You wish it weren’t bothering you so much.

“Yep! ...It’s all really happening, just for you. You deserve it, babe.” He reassures you. You smile, your heart warming at his words, finally looking up at him, but see that he’s actually looking around. Your smile wavers. He turns back to meet your gaze a little late.

“Well… I couldn’t have done it without you! You’re the best.” You say half-heartedly.

He smiles fondly, and gestures at a glass of champagne in his free hand. “You sure you don’t wanna celebrate with some booze tonight?”

“You know I can’t.” Is your automatic response.

“Yes, I know how you feel about it. But really, you’ve been so good about being sober. You deserve to let loose for just one night!”

You bite your lip a little, cursing yourself in your mind for even thinking about taking the validation as permission. But still, you shake your head. “I can’t, really. But I’m still enjoying the party! Don’t worry!”

He nods, not bothering to push anymore for now. “Well, I’ll be making the big announcement in couple hours. Make sure you’re ready, cus I’m gonna get some people to record, okay?”

You nod, smiling. He leans down to kiss you quickly before saying he’s going to socialize some more, leaving you to your snacking. You wave as you watch him go, long after he’s already disappeared into a crowd of people.

He’s so sweet. Really, it’s all you could’ve asked for.

So… Why did it still feel wrong?

Rose later approaches you as you’re dipping your 4th marshmallow into the chocolate fountain. “(Y/n). May I talk with you about something?”

You finish popping the whole thing into your mouth when you muffle back “Mm? Myeah, whasshup?”

She chuckles a little before continuing. “You'll have to forgive me for asking, if it’s somewhat out of line, although I can't imagine it being so. But is there something going on between you and Dave and Karkat? …Davekat? You three haven’t talked all night. Usually nobody can get you to separate.”

You feel your stomach sink a little at the unwanted question, and take a moment to finish swallowing your snack before you respond. “Oh, it’s nothing really. We just had a little argument a couple weeks ago and-“

“An argument? What about?” She inquires, keeping a calm gaze with your eyes even when you start glancing around awkwardly. Oh boy.

“Ohhhh Dave and I just had a disagreement about the album I released.. But It’s really not a big deal. We’ll get over it.”

Rose’s eyebrows perk up a little as she becomes more intrigued. You usually know when to keep quiet, but to be honest, you haven’t really had anyone to talk to about this. You haven’t even wanted to talk to your boyfriend about it, since it involved him for some reason, so you’ve kept it to yourself. So, in your early defense, you were probably just desperate for someone to rant to.

“So yeah...” You think maybe you shouldn’t continue.

“And what did this disagreement entail?” She pushes again in her subtle way.

“Okay so, we were supposed to have this track together on the album, right? And we spend sooo much time-“ aaaand you’re spilling. Man, that was easy. She didn’t even have to pry it out at all, you were like an open book sitting on a teachers lap during story time.

As you’re telling the story, you come to realize you’re not even mad anymore. You’re just sad. It starts out frustrated, but becomes a little depressing and self-depreciating as the explanation goes on. “And now I’m not even sure where to go from here. Do I apologize? Do I wait for him to apologize? Should I just be the bigger person and say something? But what if they don’t want to talk to me or-“

“I fail to see what else there is to do besides talk about it.” She bluntly cuts off your ranting a bit early.

“Huh?” 

“Lets say, hypothetically, you decide not to bring up the fore-mentioned subject again. I’m assuming talking to them at home is quite awkward right now because of the lingering elephant in the room, correct?-” You nod in response, which she knew was the answer, because she immediately continues. “-So, you continue to avoid them, and they continue to avoid you. But then, really, what’s next?”

You take a moment to think about it. What’s next?

“Well… I don’t know. But what if they don’t continue to avoid me?” You retort genuinely. 

“In that quite unlikely situation, knowing my brother and my practically-brother-in-law pretty well, then it would probably warrant the same outcome as if you were to be the first to speak. But the point is that someone needs to initiate some type of communication about the situation, or this unusually awkward train isn’t going anywhere. And like I mentioned, we both know well how stubborn those two are." She watches your expression become more discouraged for a moment. "If you feel so guilty about going on with the release without Dave, then I see no good reason it can’t be you to initiate. Why don't you just apologize?” You start what is about to be a protest, but she holds up a hand to silence you before you can. Then she takes a brief moment to bite into an orange slice she's holding in her other hand, from an orange you didn’t even realize she had been peeling. She looks to the side for a second to think while she snacks, then turns back to you. “Even if you feel like you did the right thing, or were only doing what he said he wanted, you still feel guilty about it regardless. If it’s bothering you that much, which I know it is since you just avoided using a chocolate fountain for several minutes to rant the subject to me, then I say you rip the damn bandaid off.”

You take her words in for an even longer moment again. She’s… right. Of course. “Yeah...” You sigh.

She places a kind hand on your arm to comfort you for a moment. "I'm aware of how much you all care about each other. Don't let something so fickle be what pulls you apart. That'd be a disappointing situation to see play out in this timeline."

You smile just slightly at her encouragement. “Thank you, Rose. I guess I’ll have to work up the courage to talk to them about it this week somehow.”

“Or how does right now sound?”

“What?!” You only look up for a second to see her smirking, staring at something behind you, before suddenly she’s taking you by the arm and leading you a few steps backwards.

Karkat and Dave are walking and chatting, looking at each other, before turning forward to see you two, at the same time you turn to face forward and see them. Your expressions of awkward-surprise are mirrored, not including Rose of course, who looks entirely calm and satisfied at how perfectly this moment just played out.

“Hello, Dave. Hello, Karkat. I don’t think I’ve gotten to speak with you tonight yet.” She greets. You avoid eye contact with them.

“HEY ROSE.”

“yo.”

“How are you two enjoying the party? I know it’s not your usual scene.”

“nah, its cool. you always throw sick ass events in your unnecessarily huge mansion.” Dave replies, ignoring the awkwardness of you being right beside her.

“Again, not a mansion. And interesting of you to say so when you hardly ever come to these so called ‘sick ass’ events in mention.”

“hey. im a busy guy, what can i say?“

“Is that so? Please enlighten me on such things that keep the great Dave Strider busy.” She jeers.

“oh yknow. god stuff. big responsibilities. nuff said.” He adjusts his glasses, smirking a little. Then he puts his hands in his suit pockets. You hadn’t failed to notice earlier that Dave actually dressed up a little for the dinner party. Karkat is wearing a sweater and black jeans, but it’s different from what he wears around the house at least.

“How mysterious.” Rose and Karkat both roll their eyes. You feel her nudging you forward a bit. “Well, it’s all for (Y/n) today. But I’m sure you’ve already congratulated her on the release and such related subjects, yes?”

“yeah sure.” “YOU COULD SAY THAT.” They respond at the same time, overlapping words. You’re still not looking at them.

Rose turns her head to the left to spot her wife waving to her. Taking this moment to complete her mission, she waves back and lets go of your arm. “Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but a host has her duties to attend to, doesn’t she?” She doesn’t miss when Dave smiles at the word ‘duties’ to no surprise. “I’ll see you all later.”

And then, to your dismay, she’s walking off in the opposite direction. Leaving you and the two men who you haven’t properly talked to in a couple weeks despite living in the same house.

It’s… uncomfortably quiet for a handful for seconds.

“UH.. YEAH CONGRATULATIONS ON THE RELEASE BY THE WAY.. (Y/N).” Karkat says carefully, and you look over to finally make eye contact with him. You notice that Dave’s looking off in the other direction when you take a quick glance at him.

“Thanks, Kar. Have you guys listened to it at all?” You ask, giving a weak smile.

“YEAH. IT WAS GOOD. I REALLY LIKED HOW TRACK 3 CAME OUT HONESTLY.” He replies genuinely.

Your smile also grows genuine now. “Oh yeah.. that one was your favorite, right? I’m glad.” 

Karkat nods, and when there’s an awkward silence afterwards, he nudges Dave a little bit to say something as well.

“i mean if you want me to be honest, i didnt yet. but technically i was there for the whole process of making it, so i already know what the tracks sounds like.” Dave comments flatly. Of course he was lying, he still listened to it when it came out, but he didn't feel like making small talk and half-assed compliments with the way things were with you at the moment. He just wanted to get to that snack table right now. Karkat scowls at him for his attitude, and continuing to make this conversation as awkward as possible.

You try your hardest not to get upset at this comment. “Well. I think it probably sounds a lot different now that it’s all put together… Maybe you could give it a listen?… Sometime?”

He finally turns to meet your gaze, pocker-faced. “yeah. sometime.” The seemingly cold response sends chills down your spine. It’s quiet again for a beat. “damn, im fiendin for a chocolate covered miscellaneous fruit right now to be honest.” Dave breaks the silence, completely changing subject and demeanor suddenly. He doesn’t bother looking at you again as he walks right past you to towards the table. Karkat follows hesitantly, and his eyes linger on you for longer than you’re able to notice.

Staring at the floor, you’re not sure what comes over you next. You start to feel a wave of emotion, everything from the past few weeks seeming to come up in your mind, everything you’ve been trying not to think about- and failing. You’re so sick of this. You have to say something. You remember Rose's advice, and it suddenly pushes you to blurt out:

“I’m sorry!!!” You say it out of nowhere, just loud enough for them to hear you. Dave stops, Karkat stops. They both turn over to look at you, and you slowly turn around to meet their eyes. “I’m sorry, okay?” You repeat.

“FOR WHAT?” Karkats the first to respond.

“What else?? For not including the song on the album!”

“dude, im not mad about the song.” Dave’s calmer than you expect when he replies.

“You’re not?”

“fuck no. we can release that shit whenever.”

“But.. then what…” You trail off. Karkat and Dave exchange a subtle glance. It’s really not an easy thing to explain to you. “Was it just the fight in general? I’m sorry I just stormed out and never said anything it was just-“

“yeah its not that either.”

“What??” It goes quiet again. You look very confused. Then you remember. Of course. “Oh. Is this about Rael?” You glance around a bit to make sure he’s not around when you ask this. The silence that follows tells you your answer.

You’re not really sure what to say, because you’re still not sure what exactly you have to be sorry about at first, regarding him. All you did was bring your boyfriend into your project. It made you happy. But you can think of one thing that maybe you crossed the line with.

“Okay well… I’m sorry then that I brought him into our song production. I shouldn’t have made you share that process with him. It was my mistake, really.” You’re looking at Dave the whole apology, so he knows you're being genuine. “Can we please just stop being so awkward around each other now? We can talk more later in private, if you want. I just hate having it be like this between us... So awkward, like you guys haven't seen me do a plethora of embarrassing things before, and vise versa. We're best friends, so why is our first instinct when we fight to ignore each other?” After a second, the two nod slightly in agreement.

“YEAH THIS IS FUCKING AWFUL. I HATE HAVING TO AVOID YOU IN OUR OWN HIVE. ITS SO WEIRD.”

“yeah this blows.”

“…So?” You wait for their response, mostly Dave’s, since he’s the one who has to accept the apology. You and Karkat both look at him.

“what? i just agreed that this is stupid.”

“So you'll forgive me? For now?”

“wait hold on. let me think about it. give me a second.” He says holding his hand out, and then bringing it to his chin to over-exaggerate his thinking. He takes a deep breath. “hm… yea i dont know im not convinced. how much AJ are you offering if i do?” He says in a way where you can obviously tell he's teasing, but it flys over Karkat's head.

"DAVE!" He elbows him, and Dave holds his side with a "what! i was joking!"

But then you're laughing, and they both turn to you curiously. It's the first time they've heard you laugh for a little while, and it puts you all at ease, making all the tension suddenly disappear. The other two smile slightly at you after a moment, and Dave joins in lightly chuckling with you. You beam, walking up to pull both of them into a hug. They’re both taken off guard at first, but then melt into it, hugging you back. You really needed this, and it was literally so easy to just talk to them that you feel stupid being so overdramatic about it this whole time.

“Thank you! I’m so glad you guys-“

“(Y/n)!!”

You turn to the sound of your name cutting you off. When you turn around, you see your boyfriend leaning out of the dining room doorway, waving you over. You nod and wave back, gesturing that you’re coming. You turn around a little sheepishly. “Sorry.. I should go see what he wants..”

“go ahead.”

“YEAH ITS FINE.”

“Thank you. I’ll talk to you guys later though, okay?” They both nod and you pull them into one last quick hug before quickly making your way over to the kitchen. They watch you go for a while, exchange a glance, and then turn to serve themselves some food.

It’s been over an hour and Karkat and Dave have been sitting on the couch on their phones for longer than probably acceptable at a social event. They’re leaning on each other, slumped, a sign that they haven’t moved for a while. There’s been no sight of you since you walked off earlier, which could be their fault. Still, they figured maybe you’d come find them. Finally, Dave leans back from his phone, his head pushing back onto Karkat’s arms, blocking his phone.

“yo i think im gonna go hit the bathroom and then grab a drink. you want anything?”

“NO IM FINE.”

“you sure? youre not thirsty?”

“YES STRIDER I ASSURE YOU IM NOT FUCKING LYING TO YOU ABOUT THE STATE OF MY HYDRATION.”

“aight. just checking. that shits important.” He responds, waiting for Karkats eye-roll in response before standing up and heading off.

On the way to the bathroom, Dave says hey to June and Jade and a couple other people. He forgot that there were actually a lot of people he knew here and not just random artists and whoever else Rose invited. The closer he gets to the bathroom, the less noisy his surroundings get, the chatter slightly fading to a muffle as Dave closes the door behind him into the hallway.

“jesus this place is a fucking maze.” He mumbles to himself, despite being alone. When he gets up to the bathroom door, he can hear a voice from inside. Figuring he’ll just wait until they’re out, he leans his back against the wall. Though it’s weird someone is talking in a one person bathroom? He ends up eavesdropping a little. That’s when he realizes the voice is familiar. It takes a few seconds and then… it’s Rael. He wasn’t going to think anything of it, just going back to minding his business, until he hears your name.

“Yeah (Y/n)’s party is going great! It’ll be announced soon and we’ll get to start the next project together. It’s all going hella smooth.” Dave doesn’t notice when he’s subconsciously leaning his ear to the wall for a better listen. “Dude what? Nah, it’s fine. When I break up with them, they’ll still have those two dorks they obviously like. I just need to get this part over with so I can start making bank. But it’ll be fun.” Dave’s eyes widen more with every word. There’s no way. He has to be imagining this. “Yeah, I’m good. I mean, like I said before, the other perks of the relationship aren’t bad either. You should’ve seen the way they-“

“no fucking way.” He mumbles to himself, and he feels sick listening to the rest. The anger and shock is so overwhelming, he’s not even sure what he should do right now. Should he confront the guy? Should he tell you? No, no way, it’d ruin your night. And would you even believe him?

Despite his burning urge to punch the shit out of your ‘boyfriend’ when he walks out, instead he starts speed walking back into the event room and to his previously designated couch. Karkat feels a sudden hand on his shoulder from behind the couch and a voice right in his ear “karkat!”

He jumps and swings around to face his boyfriend, his hand on his chest from shock. “JEGUS CHRIST DAVE YOU SCARED THE EVERLIVING FUCK OUT OF ME!!” He shouts.

“dude. you won’t believe the shit i just heard.” He says, ignoring the previous comment, his voice a little quieter than normal.

“WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO THE BATHROOM?”

“yeah yeah i was. but (y/n)’s boyfriend was in there, and he..” Dave goes on to explain everything he heard.

Every word Dave continues with, Karkat’s face gets noticeably more pissed off. His eyes widen, his sharp teeth start to show more as his mouth opens in disbelief, he clenches his fists. “NO. FUCKING. WAY.”

“thats what i said.”

“YOURE KIDDING, RIGHT? YOU’VE GOT TO BE PULLING ONE OF YOUR DUMB IRONIC PRANKS ON ME RIGHT NOW.” He insists, despite knowing he must be telling the truth.

“no dude i would not joke about this. honestly i wish i were joking.”

It’s silent for a moment, and Dave just watches as Karkat seethes with rage, staring at nothing.

“so... what… do you think we should do?” He asks cautiously. But instead of saying anything, Karkat's standing up and darting off like he’s on a mission. Dave quickly tries to follow behind him, startled.

“wait. wait! karkat.” He shouts, catching up to him and grabbing his shoulder, making him stop.

“WHAT?!” He says, whipping around to face him.

“what are you doing??”

“GEE I WONDER. I’M GOING TO TELL THEM THAT THEIR BOYFRIEND IS A HUGE DOUCHEBAG!! WHAT THE HELL ELSE?!”

“you cant!” He replies immediately, and he’s not even sure where it came from, it was so automatic.

“WHY?!?!” 

“because!… i dont know. maybe its not the right time. cus yknow itd kinda suck if i got told my boyfriend was using me at a party im supposed to be enjoying and celebrating my success at and shit. right?” He explains, even a little unsure of his own words. Karkat takes a second to think about it, and it seems to resonate with him a little, but thinking about what the guy said again, his anger returns and he shakes the previous thought off.

“DAVE. WHO GIVES A FAT FLYING FUCK ABOUT TIMING!!" He argues, throwing his arms up to emphasize. "I GET HOW YOU FEEL, BUT IF I WERE THEM, I WOULD WANT TO KNOW. AND I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’RE SO OVERPROTECTIVE WITH (Y/N) ANYWAYS. YOU SHOULD’VE TOLD THEM WHAT THEY SAID THAT NIGHT THEY WERE DRUNK TOO, BUT THEY STILL DON’T EVEN KNOW. DON’T THEY DESERVE TO KNOW IMPORTANT SHIT LIKE THIS??”

There’s a silence. He knows that Dave agrees, but he doesn’t understand why he’s being so careful anyways. “IM TELLING THEM.” And with that, he continues to stomp around looking for you, Dave somewhat anxiously following behind him.

They finally spot you from behind, talking to some people they’ve never seen before.

“(Y/N)!” Karkat shouts when he’s a few feet away from you, making everyone in the circle turn. When you turn around though, your face has a bit of a pink hue, and there’s an empty bottle in your hand. An alcohol bottle. Not only that, but when you see the two of them, your face immediately lights up and you smile that big, goofy, drunk smile. You stumble a little bit to meet them when they both stop in their tracks at the sight of you. Karkat reaches out to hold your arms, steadying you when you get to them.

“(Y/N)?? WHAT THE FUCK?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING SOBER?!” He says and Dave nods, still in a bit of shock.

“Yeahhhh! I was! Butt yknoww Raelie said ‘ohhh come onnnnnnnn its ur night! u should be celebrating with booze!! dont be lame’ And I thought ok YEAH! I mean what’s one…. Or ah fwew drinks gonna make a big differance.. rhight?” You ramble, making big gestures as you speak. Both of their hearts sink as you talk, realizing what’s going on.

“he seriously peer pressured you into drinking again? even though he knew you were trying to stay sober?” Dave says, feeling disgusted at the thought of him again.

“Huh?? No i chouse to-”

“NO YOU IDIOT HE MADE YOU FEEL LAME FOR TRYING TO BE SOBER. THATS WHAT FUCKING PEER PRESSURE IS!! AM I REALLY HAVING TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO YOU? ARE YOU A WRIGGER OR SOMETHING? DID YOU JUST HATCH??”

You frown. “I know what peer presure is!!! He didn’t preshure me!!” You shout back defensively.

“karkat chill. its not their fault.” Dave says, trying to calm him a little. Of course, those were not the best words he could’ve chosen.

“CHILL??? FUCK NO!! IM NOT GONNA SIT BACK AND WATCH MY BEST FRIEND GET ABSOLUTELY FUCKED OVER BY SOME DOUCHEY GARBAGE CAN IN A HUMAN FLESH SUIT. HE CAN SUCK MY GOUGING BONE BULDGE!! I DONT GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE.” He’s yelling louder than normal, and quite a few people have started to stare now. Dave looks around awkwardly. You are now confused and a little shocked at the sudden outburst.

“I’m sorry, I can do what now?” Comes a familiar voice from behind the two boys. They turn their heads to see Rael.

“YOU HEARD ME MOTHERFUCKER!! HOW DARE YOU WALK THE EARTH I CREATED JUST TO BE SUCH A FUCKING BULDGEWAD TO SOMEONE WHO ALSO FUCKING CREATED IT!!! I LOATHE WHATEVER KIND OF SORRY EXCUSE IS ABOUT TO COME OUT OF YOUR IGNORANCE TUNNEL AFTER THIS!” He shouts, pointing in his face, as Rael puts his hands up in defense- a little jokingly. Rael holds somewhat of a smug look on his face, faking surprise, which only pisses Karkat off more.

“Woah! Woah! Calm down, man!” He starts, moving past him with his hands still in the air, to be next to you. He places a hand on your back, and Dave has to hold Karkat back by the arm. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just trying to throw my partner a good album-release-dinner-party.”

Karkat shakes off Dave’s grasp to get up in his face again. “YOU DIDN’T THROW JACK SHIT. ROSE AND KANAYA PROBABLY PLANNED THIS ENTIRE THING THEMSELVES. AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL IM TALKING ABOUT YOU TWO-FACED BLITHERING FECULENT SHITHOLE!!” A few people in the crowd of people gasp at this, and Dave sighs, putting a hand up to shield his face slightly.

“What are you talking about?!” You finally shout back, extremely confused.

“(Y/N).” Karkat looks deep into your eyes, with a gaze more gentle than he was just staring up at your boyfriend with, placing both hands on your shoulders. Your eyes widen, and Rael stares down at you two blank-faced. “THIS GUY IS USING YOU FOR YOUR FAME. WE HEARD HIM SAY IT. WELL… DAVE HEARD HIM SAY IT.”

You glance over his shoulder at Dave, and he nods slightly, reassuring the statement. You go back to eye contact with Karkat, and he looks dead serious. “BREAK UP WITH HIM. TRUST ME ON THIS.” He tells you suddenly, and your eyes widen again, bigger this time.

“What?!” You say immediately, shocked, but Karkat keeps the same serious face. You want to trust him but…

You look up to your boyfriend, who’s not even looking at you, he’s making some kind of intense eye contact with Dave. “Rael… Whaht are they talking about?? You’re.. ushing me?” You mean to say as a firm question, but it also comes out a little nervous.

He turns to make eye contact with you, and for a half-second you can’t see any emotion in his face. Then he melts into a sweet loving tone “No, baby. Of course not.” He takes your cheek in one hand. “I would never do some lame shit like that. Why would I go through all that just for some clout?? I really don’t know what they’re saying.” You immediately feel comforted by this, but there’s still a doubtful gut feeling in you. Your mind is a little clouded from drinking, but you know you always trust your best friends. Why would they lie to you? They have never liked him though… But they still wouldn’t lie… Right?

Karkat, on the other hand, is about to go off the rails. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? I MEAN I KNOW YOU'RE A LIAR BUT COME THE FUCK ON?! WE HEARD YOU SAY IT.”

“Say what?” He says, turning to them, looking genuinely confused.

“that youre using them!” Dave cuts in suddenly, finally having enough of this conversation. “you said you were only working on the album for the fame and you were gonna break up with them! i heard your whole sleezy ass conversation in the bathroom. why would you even go to the bathroom to take a phonecall if it wasn’t for something you were trying to hide?”

Your heart pangs. Why are they so genuinely upset if Rael said they were wrong? Maybe it’s a misunderstanding?

“In the bathroom?? I was never talking to someone in the bathroom. And why would you even be trying to listen to my conversation if I was? That’s just weird." Dave opens his mouth to retort, but Rael cuts him off again. "But anyways, I’d never screw them over like that! You guys are making ridiculous assumptions!” He starts to get defensive now. It’s a really believable act, because you’re not sure who to believe at all. Although, you’re starting to lean towards Rael, despite your better judgment. Even if these two are actually telling the truth, then this party would just turn into a big scandal event and the next few months of your life will probably be hell again. You don’t want to believe it.

“seriously?!” Now Dave’s getting actually pissed, as he moves in closer to the rest of you. You can feel the heat rising.

“JUST TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH YOU FUCK. SERIOUSLY WE’RE GIVING YOU A FREE FUCKING PASS HERE.”

“I don’t know what the hell you two are talking about, I told you! I wouldn’t do stupid petty shit like that.”

“ARE YOU SURE?? BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO ME TO BE RIGHT UP YOUR DAMN DECEIVING ASS ALLEY.”

“I’m sorry, do you two have any kind of proof of anything? Because this is a lot to be accusing someone of suddenly. Is this a publicity stunt?”

“what?? no-“

“WHY WOULD WE NEED PROOF? WE’RE (Y/N)’S CLOSEST FRIENDS WHY WOULD WE HAVE TO LIE?! YOU'RE THE ONE DOING THE PUBLICITY STUNT WITH THEM!!”

So many people are looking right now. You start to hear whispers. Glancing around, luckily you don’t see anyone recording, but you start to remember the articles again, and you’re getting more anxious by the second.

“HEY. IVE GOT AN IDEA. HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF DEALING THIS USELESS BACK AND FORTH WITH THIS FILTH SPEWING TAINT-LICKER, WE JUST FUCKING DROP HIM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DAMN PLANET OR SOMETHING!!! THEN MAYBE HE’D STOP FUCKING UP OUR LIVES!!”

“ALRIGHT!!!” You shout, matching Karkat’s volume, immediately silencing him and making them all turn to you. You look around again anxiously before you continue, lowering your tone now. “Look. I don’t know what the hellss gotten into you two toniight but this is reaaally REALLY annoying and ridiculous!!! Ok!! I get yew dount like him!! Fine!! I know it everyday becushe you make it super obvuouhs always!!!! But can you not make the dinner party a huge fugcking scene! This ise embarrassing!!” You all hold eye contact for a few beats. You’re breathing heavy from the sudden outburst, and now some people are starting to try to pretend like they aren’t looking, to your slight relief. Then, you spot Kanaya and Rose looking over at you with concern. You look to them, and then the bottle in your hand, and suddenly you’re very embarrassed. The anxiety continues to build.

“(y/n)… do you not believe us?” Dave’s the first one to break the silence. The two of you now hold an intense stare now. Your eyebrows are furrowed, but they slowly lift as your expression softens. “I!… I don’t know. All I knouw is thaat you two have neever been supportive of us!! So… Ok yeah maybe itss kinda haurd to believe you now!” You cross your arms.

When you look at Karkat, your heart sinks again. He’s looking at you with hurt and disappointment. You don’t think he’s ever looked at you that way, not even when you had the addiction. Though you suppose you started that again as well. You feel more guilty. “I… I can’t do this right now.. Can we just talk about this later?” You say, tone suddenly much sadder from before.

Karkats expression phases back into an angry one again. “NO. NO YOU KNOW WHAT? ITS FINE. THERES NOTHING ELSE TO TALK ABOUT IF YOU DON’T EVEN WANT TO TRY TO BELIEVE A WORD WE’RE FUCKING SAYING. DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT THEN. FUCK ME FOR LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR WELL BEING!!.” He shouts and turns, starting to walk away from you.

Your eyes begin to water, but for some reason you're getting angry at the same time. “WELL… FINE. I WILL THEN! I NEVER ASKED YOU TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME ANYWAYS!! ALL I WANTED WAS YOUR SUPPORT!!” And you don’t even let them respond before you dart off behind you into a crowd of people.

Only Dave watches you go, and Karkat stops and stares at the ground with his arms crossed. He also can’t decide whether to be sad or angry, but angry is easier for him to show.

Rael continues to stare at them after you leave, keeping his place. The two boys both look over to him when they notice he’s still there.

“what the fuck are you still standing here for??” Dave snaps at him, exhausted.

Rael looks around to make sure no one was watching anymore, and they weren’t. In fact, most started to walk in the direction you ran off in, since the drama might presumably follow you. He then flags down one of his buddies and whispers to him to start the announcement. Dave and Karkat watch in confusion as the other guy runs off and Rael turns to make eye contact with them again. He’s smiling now.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SO SMILEY ABOUT, ASSHOLE?!”

“Haha! You guys are a damn riot, I’ll give you that. (Y/n) sure knows how to pick em.” He says giddily, suddenly changing demeanor so drastically.

“whatever dude.“ Dave comments flatly, not wanting to keep talking to this asshole.

“Hey, you got me, alright? I’ll admit it.” He runs a hand through his hair. “But it doesn’t matter anyways-”

“WHAT?!” ”what?!” They say in unison.

On the speakers a little further into the room, an announcement starts being made.

              [Hey everyone! Thanks so much for coming out to celebrate (Y/n)’s Third album release! There’s a few things we want to-]

“Yeah, look, they’re not gonna believe you. It’s too fucking wild of an assumption. Because really, why would someone go through all that for fame?”

“YEAH THATS EXACTLY WHAT IM WONDERING. YOU’D HAVE TO BE A REAL FUCKING DICKHEAD.” Karkat snaps back sarcastically.

              [-If you discussed any possible offers for (Y/n) tonight please make sure one of their managers has your contact information as well as-]

“Exactly. But I’m not like everyone. I’ll do anything to achieve my what I wan-“

“OH MY GOD PLEASE SHUT THE EVERLOVING FUCK UP.” Karkat groans, cutting off what sounded to be the start of a cringy self determination speech.

Rael laughs again. It rumbles over the announcement that continues to overlap their conversation. “Alright alright. I know you guys are sick of me now. But hey, think of it like this-"

              [-I mean truly, we're all so proud of the success that has continued to skyrocket from this long-awaited release, and there's sure to just be more great works on the way-]

"-You can have (Y/n) after the tour now, so it's not all that bad for you guys. Since you’re so obsessed with each other, I’m sure that’s what you wanted!”

“WHAT?!” They both say again in unison.

“Oh, I’m sorry did you not notice yourselves yet? Even if I did actually like (Y/n), which I almost did in the beginning by the way, how could I not see the obvious tension between you three? It would be impossibly awkward to be around you together all the time, and I can never seem to get them away from you either. You’re all they ever talk about for gods sake.” Rael even chuckles a little at the thought of it, clearly not even that bothered by it, just amused.

Dave and Karkat side eye each other for a few moments, trying to read each other’s expression about this accusation, and feeling slightly more guilty about the situation now than before. Were they really preventing you from having a relationship, even if this guy hadn't turned out to be a douchebag?

Then something clicks in Dave’s head. “hold on… did you say tour?” He asks suddenly, and Karkat looks at him confused as it starts to click for him too.

Raels smiles again at this, and he starts walking backwards towards where the announcement is being made. “Well. Maybe I’ll catch you guys later!” He shouts nicely.

“GET BACK HERE YOU FUCK!! YOUR PLAN ISN’T EVEN GOOD PEOPLE ARE JUST GONNA FUCKING HATE YOU AFTER!! YOU’RE A BUMBLING IMBECILE!!!” Karkat shouts after him, but he only laughs as he turns around and disappears from sight again.

“hey, it’s fine. i got that all on recording.” Dave says calmly, holding up his phone that still continues to take a video, and holding Karkat from going after him with his other arm. 

“WHAT? REALLY?”

“yeah. he was talking all that shit earlier about having no proof. but they have to believe us now, right?”

              [But anyways, enough of me! We’d like to tell you all some big news that we’ve finally made official! And I’ll pass the mic over to Rael so he can share it with you all!]

Karkat and Dave turn toward the speakers. There’s a lot of people gathered around a small platform where Rael's friend was just making the announcements. They can barely see over the amount of people, but then Dave spots your face as you walk up and stand behind Rael. There’s no readable emotion on your face.

              [R: Thank you all! Really! This has been such a great event. And I want to especially thank the lovely Rose Lalonde and Kanaya Maryam for knowing how to throw together such a great dinner party on such short notice!] 

Karkat rolls his eyes and huffs.

              [R: Now I’m sure you’re all curious what this big announcement is!]

Everyone cheers and claps a bit as confirmation.

              [R: Well… It took a lot of string pulling and quick planning, but (Y/n) and I are proud to announce, we’ve decided to go on a world tour!!]

Gasps and applause ring throughout the room. Karkat and Dave’s face change to a look of absolute horror. He wasn’t bluffing.

              [R: This will be (Y/n)’s second ever tour, and I’ll be accompanying them on stage! Please come and show support if you’d like to! Everyone here will revive a free ticket so-]

Karkat suddenly feels sick as he turns away from the stage, covering his mouth. This was a nightmare. A world tour. You’d be gone for such a long time again.

Dave puts his arms around Karkat to support him, and he looks over his shoulder to search for your face again above the crowd. When he does, you both make eye contact at the same time. Your slight smile immediately turns into a frown, and you're the first to look away again, almost shamefully.

You were going to tell them before it was announced, but everything happened so fast. You knew they’d be upset if they didn’t hear it from you.

Dave frowns and turns to walk towards the door with Karkat. Tonight was a lot, so maybe it’d be better to just go home.

But there’s no reassurance or making up afterwards this time.

They go home, but you don’t follow.

You don’t come home that night. Or the next night.

—————————————————————

The house’s atmosphere is intensely gloomy. The two boys can barely talk about anything other than what happened that night. Pent up anger they can’t express to you, since you won’t come home or answer your phone, ends up coming out at each other sometimes. They start fighting about small stupid things, and the arguments always eventually turns into something along the lines of “WHEN THE HELL IS (Y/N) JUST GONNA COME HOME ALREADY?”

When three days pass since the party, the anger dies down a little and worry starts to take its place. Calls are made to a handful of other friends asking if they’ve heard from you. No one says they have until they talk with Rose, who says you had come over briefly the day prior to thank them for the party.

At least they knew you were okay. But now they know you’re definitely ignoring them.

From your point of view, you had been spending the nights at Rael’s place, and your unsureness of the situation also caused you to be quite cranky. You tend to snap at Rael a lot, which causes him to just leave you alone most of the time. He goes out a lot as well, so you’re usually by yourself.

But you miss them.

You want to go home. But you’re too exhausted to want to deal with this, especially right before tour. You don’t even know what you’d say to them. You’re upset at them, but you feel bad at the same time, because you know they’re upset at you as well. Plus you can't stop beating yourself up about the relapse. You broke a promise to your friends, but more importantly, yourself.

You unlock your phone and go to look at Dave’s text messages to you for the hundredth time.

Tuesday 1:34pm     Dave™️💿: yo can you at least tell us where you are    Dave™️💿: and that youre like safe and not dead maybe? Tuesday 3:53pm    Dave™️💿: i mean i doubt that something heroic or just happened for you to actually be dead    Dave™️💿: but you never know    Dave™️💿: maybe you decided to push an old lady out of the way of a big truck headed straight for her because you realized shes blind and couldnt see it coming    Dave™️💿: or because maybe she just had like    Dave™️💿: really ass peripheral vision or some shit    Dave™️💿: you just fly in like superman and    Dave™️💿: wait fuck we can fly i always forget we can fly    Dave™️💿: yeah i guess that wouldnt happen since you could just fly away with her instead of pushing her out of the way which would probably still put her in the hospital anyways    Dave™️💿: but you get my point    Dave™️💿:  like i doubt something like that happened but itd be nice to be reassured Tuesday 8:20pm    Dave™️💿: karkats still super pissed off im ngl but im willing to talk about it if you want to    Dave™️💿: plus i have something you really need to see    Dave™️💿: but i dont want to send it to you cus i dont know where you are or where your heads at right now    Dave™️💿: ok ill stop spamming you but seriously text me asap    Dave™️💿: its like the damn twilight zone up in here

And that’s just from today.

You sigh. It’s really hard to stay away from them like this. You remember what Rose said that night, and you know you should really talk to them.

Rael walks into the room, looking dressed to go out.

“Hey.” You greet, melancholy. “Where are you going? Don’t we start practicing tomorrow? The tour is really last minute so we'll probably be rehearsing all day.”

“Yeah I’m just going to this party my friends invited me to. It’ll be fine.” He says, fixing his hair in the mirror.

“Again? Do you always go to parties this often when you’re not with me?”

“Yeah, why? Is it a problem?”

The attitude in his voice makes you feel sad, but you shake your head. “No.. I just didn’t know.. Sorry.” You respond and go back to your phone, not wanting to make a big deal. You're already exhausted.

He walks over to you and places a kiss on the top of your head, which permits a range of conflicted emotions inside you. “It’s alright babe. I’ll be back before midnight, okay?” You nod and he grabs his coat before leaving the room.

You stay staring at your homescreen as you hear the front door close. Your finger lingers over the 'phonecalls' application for a while. You reluctantly press it.

There’s still a ton of missed calls from Dave, and a few from some others. You linger again over the call back button next to Daves contact name, biting your lip. After what feels like a couple minutes, you press it, but the second it starts ringing you hang up again.

You grip the phone tightly, and then toss it to the end of the bed with a loud groan, falling back onto the pillow behind you. This is annoying.

Suddenly you hear a vibration, and you body shoots up to look at your phone a few feet away from you, but it’s off. Looking around curiously, you spot another phone on the dresser. It’s Rael’s. He forgot it.

You crawl over, hovering over the screen to read a name you don’t recognize. Eventually it stops ringing, and the screen fades to the lockscreen photo of Rael performing during your tour. You slowly take the phone in your hand, swiping up on the screen to the passcode input. You look cautiously around the room even though you know you're the only one here. You know his password. You saw him put it in once and laughed at how stupid it was, but maybe he changed it after? Only one way to find out…

No.

You stop put the phone down, scolding yourself for even thinking about snooping through your boyfriends phone. Why would you need to do that? You trust him, right? You trusted him that night so...

…

It’s not like he should have anything to hide…

Yeah. There’s nothing suspicious that should be there, so what’s the harm in looking? He wouldn’t mind.

You quickly pick up the phone again, rapidly sliding up and typing ‘6969’, the screen making a click sound and opening to yet another homescreen photo of him. You immediately go for the texts app, scanning the messages. You don’t find anything weird though, everything seems normal to you.

Of course.

You click on the photos app. Nothing weird here either. Screenshots of random things, photos of random things, a few photos of you two, and tons of selfies.

Okay…

You click the phonecalls app now, scanning through the recent calls. There’s not anything strange here of course, since it’s not like you would recognize any of these names. However, there is one number that isn’t registered as a contact. You’d brush it off as a spam call, but it was ongoing for almost 20 minutes. Then you notice it was the day of the party, and it was an outgoing call. Why would he call an unknown number and talk for 20 minutes with them? On the same day Dave and Karkat accused him of saying those things on call in the bathroom…

You can’t be sure.. but it is the only call made that day.. so what if..

You hear the front door unlock and open, and you immediately snap out of your daze you got caught up in. Hearing the footsteps down the hall start to get closer, you quickly throw the phone back on the dresser and try to sit natural like you weren’t just snooping through his history.

“Hey babe I think I forgot my-“ He stops in the doorway, raising an eyebrow at your weirdly composed position with your phone sitting at the foot of the bed. “Uh.. Phone.”

“Oh really? How’d you manage to do that?” You smile, which is out of character for you the past few days.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh? Oh nothing, I was just thinking about stuff..." Your eyes drag over to the television. "Like what I should watch on the TV! There’s.. so many channels.... ha.”

“Okay…” He gives you a weird look, and then glances over to spot his phone. “Ah! There it is. Alright I’ll see you later.” He grabs it and immediately starts doing something on it as he leaves the room again. Luckily he doesn’t seem to suspect anything.

“Okay! Bye!” You shout to him and you hear the front door open and close again. You let out a sigh of relief.

…

Your phone starts to ring, surprising you again. You look over.

It’s Dave.

—————————————————————

Tuesday 8:21pm.

Dave is chilling on the couch after just sending you todays ‘last text’, even though he knows he’ll definitely text you again tomorrow if you still don’t respond. Karkat sits on the other side of the couch, with one hand in his hair probably squeezing the color out of it, and the other tapping away on the down arrow of his laptop (husk-top). Really, he could not be hitting the button any harder. It’s practically ringing throughout the whole house.

CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK.

CLICK. CLICK. CLICK.

CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK.

“dude. take it easy on the keys. i can hear them begging you for mercy at this point.” Dave comments, staring over at him. Karkat hasn’t spoken a word since yesterday. Which is honestly impressive, but it is starting to scare his boyfriend at this point. He just turns to make eye contact with Dave, looking just as pissed off as he has since they got home, and continuing to hit the keys like he’s trying to break them. Then he goes back to whatever he’s looking at.

“ok. cool. forget i said anything i guess.” He says passive aggressively, but also at this point he can’t seem to care anymore. He goes back to looking at his phone.

CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK.

CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK.

CLICK. CLICK.

CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK.

CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK.

CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK-

“AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” Karkat finally shouts out in aggravation, grabbing his face and throwing his head back, making Dave jump in his seat. “AAAAUUUGHGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!” And then he throws his laptop (HUSKTOP.) across the room. Wow.

“wow.”

“GIVE ME YOUR PHONE.”

“what? why?”

“BECAUSE IM CALLING (Y/N).” He says and he starts to reach over for Daves phone.

He pulls his arm back to hold it out of reach. “i already did today and they wont answer. why dont you just call on your phone?”

“THEY WONT ANSWER IF ITS ME IM THE ONE WHO CUSSED THEIR BOYFRIEND OUT.”

“ok well if you havent noticed, theyre not answering me either so were both shit out of luck right about now. hate to break it to you.”

“JUST GIVE IT TO ME!!” He shouts hysterically, starting to climb over him to grab the phone.

“dude calm down!!” Dave shouts back, startled, holding the phone up over his head now.

Kartkat continues to fight for the phone, and Dave continues to move further to keep it out of his reach. Eventually, Dave ends up sitting up on the couch and just holding it to his chest, buried in his arms to shield it from grabbing. Karkat gets on his lap and tries to grasp for it, but then Dave suddenly puts his arms around him, locking Karkats arms to the side of his body. Karkat squirms around in this position with all his might.

“LET GO OF ME STRIDER!!!! LET GO NOW OR I SWEAR!!!”

“nope! were staying like this until you chill the FUCK out.”

“THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE STATE OF HOW ‘CHILL’ I AM!! I NEED TO TALK TO THEM!!!”

“no shit we both do!! but they wont answer!!! you know they wont!” Dave protests, still keeping a tight hold on Karkat, his head tucked into his side as well.

Kakat’s struggling starts to get weaker and weaker after Dave says this, until finally he relaxes, letting himself drop his weight down and his head fall onto Daves shoulder. Dave lets out a subtle sigh of relief. 

“theyll call when theyre ready dude. itll be fine.”

It’s quiet for a while as they both stay in this position, breathing a little heavy in the beginning from all the struggling, and then calming down.

“man. they cant go on another tour. or at least not without talking to us.”

There’s more silence as Karkat just lays dead still on his shoulder. Dave clicks on his phone to check for a notification, to which there’s still just a blank screen. He sighs. The air stays still and calm like this. He starts to lightly rub Karkats back after a while, comforting him silently. Karkat begins to purr after a couple minutes of this, to his further relief.

“you okay?” Dave asks, breaking the silence as he moves his head a little to try to see his face.

“…YEAH.” He responds in a tired sounding tone, not moving at all. “SORRY.”

“its cool.”

…

“do you miss them?” He asks, and even he thinks it comes out a little strange after it’s left his mouth. When there’s no response, he tries again to get a look at his face.

“hey.” Dave says, shaking him slightly to try to get him to sit up. “look at me.” Karkat reluctantly raises his head a little to face him.

“WHAT D-“ Dave cuts off whatever he might’ve said by pulling him into a kiss. It shocks him, but he doesn’t pull away at all, and eventually he’s kissing back. He starts purring again. When Dave pulls back, he’s got a sweet smile on his face, and Karkat is blushing intensely, his bright red blood always making it so noticeable.

“WHAT WAS THAT FOR…” He asks a little sheepishly.

“what? a guy cant just kiss his boyfriend? are you homophobic?”

“NO! I MEAN-”

“thats fucked up karkat. to be homophobic in this day and age. honestly. you should be ashamed.”

“OH JUST SHUT UP ALREADY.” He crosses his arms, and looks away, still flustered. Dave laughs a little, and then leans back onto the couch, closing his eyes.

“things have just gotten so intense. i think we need to chill.”

“…YEAH…” Karkat looks back over and stares at him for a little longer, blush still lingering, and then eventually leans forward to lay against his chest.

There’s another long pause. Karkat sighs.

“I JUST…” He starts, but is still seeming to try to find the right words. “I JUST DONT WANT THEM DATING THAT ASSHOLE ANYMORE. AFTER WHAT HAPPENED. I DONT CARE IF THEY WANT TO GO ON TOUR OR WHATEVER. WHO ARE WE TO STOP THEM IF THATS WHAT THEY REALLY WANT? BUT WE KNOW THIS SHIT IS ALL HIS IDEA. HE WANTS TO GO ON THAT TOUR SO HE CAN GET ALL THE PUBLICITY AND MONEY AND THEN HE’S GOING TO LEAVE THEM.”

“i know..” Dave frowns as he starts to rub Karkats back again. “but theyll definitely talk to us before they leave. theres no way they wouldnt.”

“BUT HOW DO WE KNOW THEY WONT STILL GO?”

“well they might. but i mean they have to at least believe us about him? ive got the video.”

“I DONT KNOW. THEY SEEMED SO FUCKING HELLBENT BEFORE ON NOT BELIEVING US. EVEN IF THEY WERE DRUNK.” He sneers, still bitter about the way you doubted them that night.

Dave is silent for another minute before he speaks again.

“you remember what the douche said to us right before he made that announcement about the tour?”

“HE SAID A LOT OF IDIOTIC BULLSHIT BEFORE THE ANNOUNCEMENT.” Karkat responds.

“yeah but i mean when he was saying that stuff about uh..” He pauses out of awkwardness of what he wanted to say next, not even sure if he should bring it up right now. “like.. that we should date them or whatever? he said we must have a thing for them.. but thats...”

He waits for Karkat to finish his sentence, thinking maybe he could get his opinion without having to directly ask. To no avail, however.

“THAT’S WHAT?”

“i dont know…” He blushes a little, turning his head to stare at the wall. “what did you think when he said that?”

“I THOUGHT… THAT THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE.”

“oh.. yeah? why impossible?”

“I MEAN WERE BOTH ALREADY IN A MATESPRITSHIP. TO ALSO BE IN A ROMANTIC QUADRANT WITH THEM IT’D HAVE TO BE BLACK ROMANCE. AND I FEEL FAR FROM BLACK FEELINGS FOR THEM SO...”

“i mean yeah. but are matespritships always with two people for trolls?”

“OF COURSE? THE ONLY QUADRANT INVOLVING MORE THAN ONE PERSON IS AUSPISTICISM USUALLY, UNLESS YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR MORE THAN ONE PERSON FOR ONE QUADRANT BUT…”

“..but?”

“BUT THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING. YOU USUALLY ONLY HAVE ONE PERSON IN ANYTHING OTHER THAN AUSPISTICISM. I MEAN IVE NEVER HEARD OF MORE THAN TWO TROLLS IN ANY OTHER QUADRANT…” This thought seems to have him pondering hard about whether that would be sustainable. He had never considered it before, and surprisingly it had never been in any of his RomComs. He sits up a little to look at Dave, who turns his head to meet his gaze again. “DO HUMANS HAVE MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE IN YOUR ONLY QUADRANT?”

“i mean im probably like the last person to ask. hell if i know anything about human relationships, obviously i was never in one. but yeah im pretty sure people did that. polyamorous and like… quad.. amorous? i guess? no wait that doesnt sound right.” Dave now is pondering what the fuck a four way relationship is called, not to mention five, six, seven…

“DAVE. WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY?”

He snaps out of his thoughts. “huh? nothing.”

“NOTHING...” He's not convinced.

“i mean i was just thinking like… its weird that hes not the only person to have said something like that right? rose and kanaya asked us before and it made us super awkward. june and roxy asked me once.. dirk mentioned it but not even as a question he was just like ‘your two partners blah blah blah’ which totally threw me off? plus we never even talked about when they confessed to us that one night. we both know they have feelings for us but we never talked about how we feel about it. whats up with that?”

Karkat takes a moment to consider all of this. To be quite honest he hasn’t really thought about this subject in a lot of detail, but it is a little troubling. With everything happening lately, he's been realizing he's always felt for you the same he's things he's felt for Dave. You both meant a lot to him, and he cared for you both in the same way. 

“THERES NOTHING ‘UP’ WITH IT, WE JUST HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO TALK ABOUT IT.”

“dude. we have literally nothing but time, all the time.”

“OKAY! FINE. LETS TALK ABOUT IT THEN.”

“okay.”

…

…

…

The silence is deafening.

“WELL?”

“what”

“YOU SAID YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!”

“okay yeah but-“

“THEN HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT (Y/N)? DO YOU HAVE FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR THEM? OR ARE THEY STRICTLY PALE?” Karkat suddenly asks bluntly.

Dave's pokerfaced for a beat, like he’s loading. “…how... do you feel about them?”

“MOTHERFUCKER I ASKED YOU FIRST!”

“yeah but! if i feel one way about them and you dont then thats kinda awkward… and its gonna be a problem later on right?.”

“FOR FUCKS SAKE.” He rolls his eyes. “FINE I…” He stops, starting to think hard again. He knows how he feels, but at the same time he's not sure. Having feelings for two people at once, like he said, is usually not seen as a good thing. It's normally conflicting and problematic. Granted, it's usually not a good thing for humans either. They're both struggling with the concept of polyamory.

“I… I DONT KNOW.”

“you dont know?”

“IVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT OKAY!!”

“really. youve never thought about being in a relationship with (y/n)? like all of three us?”

“HAVE YOU?”

Dave purses his lips for a moment, thinking hard trying decide if he should just come out and say it. 

“yeah. ive thought about it honestly.” 

“OH.”

Karkat's short response suddenly makes Dave a little anxious, and he sits up a bit to get closer to him and make eye contact. “oh shit but you really havent?? fuck... im sorry i just meant because we all live together i just sometimes think ‘we all might as well just fuckin date with like how much we sit around together all day and-’ man im sorry-“

“ITS FINE DAVE I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS A BAD IDEA. RELAX YOU DIDN'T HURT MY PRECIOUS FEELINGS.”

“oh. right. okay.”

“I JUST MEANT THAT I NEVER… I MEAN I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO…” He groans at how much he struggles with talking about how he feels about this. “I THINK IVE ALWAYS HAD SOME TYPE OF RED FEELINGS… FOR BOTH OF YOU. BUT WHEN (Y/N) WAS GONE AND WE GOT CLOSER... IT JUST ENDED UP LIKE..”

“oh.”

“SORRY NO I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.. I MEAN.. WELL OKAY ITS JUST-“

“its cool i get it.”

"YOU DO?"

"yeah of course."

Insert awkward pause of silence.

“so… we both feel the same way about them?”

“I GUESS SO?" He gives a troubled look. "BUT WOULD A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THAT REALLY WORK?”

“i dont fuckin know. but im sure we could figure out a way. weve already lived together this long.”

“YEAH. THATS TRUE.”

Dave chuckles a little. “fucked up that raels the motherfucker that made us finally talk about this shit.”

Karkat snickers back at this. “YEAH ITS THE ONLY THING HES BEEN GOOD FOR AT THIS FUCKIN POINT.”

They laugh for a bit before letting out a sigh of relief, all this finally being off their shoulders. Feels like a huge weight is gone.

“god. we really need to fuckin talk to them now.”

“YEAH NO SHIT.”

Dave picks up his phone from the couch, going into his contacts yet again to click on your name. He puts it on speaker.

It rings…

And rings…

And rings….

No response.

The phone goes to voicemail and Dave hangs up again.

“GOD FUCKING DAMNIT (Y/N). PICK UP THE PHONE!!”

And then, as if replying to him, the phone lights up with a text notification.

[ 1 New Message Notification:    (y/n): ill be over in 5.]

The curtain closes again on Chapter 2, bringing it to a cliff-hanging END.

There are curtains this time. Imagine them. You’re imagining them, and they are closing.

See you soon for the finale!

[jaeminscoffee]

Hide and seek | J. Jh

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader

Genre: Smut, Angst

Warning(s): Dubcon, yandere themes, possessiveness, knife play, reader endures all forms of physical abuse, heavy use of the words princess and doll, implied kidnapping/drug usage/pregnancy, lmk if i missed any

type; drabble : 1.01k

A/n: this drabble is a pure work of fiction and does not reflect on the characters' real life personalities. I do not condone to any of the behaviour portrayed in this story neither do i think it's something to lust over in real life. These sort of themes are hot just to read in fictions so they should be kept as fiction itself and never implemented in real life.

You suppress another set of sobs threatening to erupt from your throat as your 'lover' rammed into you for the nth time that night. 

As pleasurable as it might have seemed in another scenario, here all you could feel was pain. 

Open wounds painted your skin. Brown, purple, red scars adorned the tissue as though to colour the artwork made by him. Your insides hurt from the constant tossing and throwing you went through. 

Your abdomen begged to get some sort of soft touch from all the rough whips, kicks, slashes and hits it endured. Your bottom hurts even worse. Having more open wounds than you'd like to think you had. Your body had turned into this pitiful canvas that craved for some sort of rest, love, and alas, some human touch. 

"you know i hate hurting you, doll. You just look so ethereal with my marks on you, I can't help myself" Jaehyun mused. You knew better than to speak up. At the same time you knew better than to stay completely quiet; you let a whimper escape you, earning a groan from the lad behind you. 

"you're enjoying this, right babe? You love this as much as i do, correct? Tell me our feeling's mutual" He growled, his hands finding home atop your ass, fingers applying pressure into the open words that decorated the skin, opening them enough for the crimson liquid to surge out, enough for your cries to finally let loose. 

That seemed to add onto Jaehyun's pleasure all the more, him applying even more pressure due to your ignorance posed to his question. 

"Don't you love this, princess?" he asked, a little more craze added to his tone to make it evident that he wants an answer.

"Y-ye-.. Yes, Jae.." you breathe out nimbly, not having it in you to form a sentence, let alone a word due to exhaustion and the weakness that came with whatever drink he'd offered you that morning. Or the drink he'd offered after breakfast. No, maybe it was the one before lunch. You don't remember. 

All you remember was finally building up the courage to run away from Jaehyun for the first time since he'd brought you to this unknown location. Only for that courage to falter the moment Jaehyun's sing-song voice called out to you from one corner of the house, summoning you and inevitably, getting you into the situation you're in right now. 

It's unknown how Jaehyun found out about your motives. Maybe it was the fact that you'd avoided drinking the liquid he'd usually force down your throat. Maybe it was because you were acting normal. Maybe it's because you failed to showcase that you were lethargic from the drinks. Or it could be the fact that he somehow managed to hear the lowest of rattle produced by the chains on the door that kept the two of you shut, secluded from the monstrous world out there as he'd coin. 

"Atta girl.. I know you love this," His voice dropped ridiculously low, picking up pace once again only moments before he'd reached his high, forcibly pulling you into yours too. 

Nothing about the high had you feeling the slightest of bliss. If anything, you felt destroyed. Weak. Broken, which; you were sure you were after all the hits you've endured. All the cuffs that's pulled on your wrists. All the bats that've made contact with your body. Worst of all, all the kicks and punches Jaehyun had given you. 

Disgusted, knowing how his essence had coated your inside, mixing with yours which you were sure would produce an innocent being which you'd inevitably grow to hate because that thing came from the monster behind you, who'd pulled up his pants and was buckling his belt. 

His fingers found suite inside of you once he was half dressed, earning a blood curdling scream from you and the intense burn the south of your body produced, 

"Just like that baby, scream for me. Scream while I secure myself in you."

"Think of it, our child would look absolutely stunning, don't you think?" he groans at the idea as you thrash around, wanting to be as far as you can from him. This only upset him. Why didn't you want his child? 

And just like that, it all comes to a stop. 

"It's no fun if you just stay quiet and weep around.." he mumbled out loud enough for you to hear, bile collecting itself at your throat as you wonder what other sick idea he'd want to act out in this small span of time. Your muscles cried, cried and cried for all it could. Wanting nothing more than to rest, rest forever even. 

"I know!" 

You jump as Jaehyun suddenly gets up and stands at the foot of the bed, pulling you harshly by the arms before discarding your being onto the floor, "Hide and Seek! Yes, we'll play hide and seek!" he exclaims excitedly.

"If I find you, then well, I fill you up until I'm sure you bear my child. If you manage to hide from me, then I'll let you go, " That made your ears perk, he'll let you go? 

"Y-you will..?" you ask softly, not wanting to pull at any of his strings, failing to look him in the eyes. Jaehyun crouches down to be eye level with you, his hands pursue you to look at him, "If you win, well yes." his grip tightens, 

"Now let's start the game, shall we?-" he gets up, brushing away invisible lint from his pants that hung loosely around his waist, 

"-you have 5 seconds to hide" Jaehyun's face contorts into a psychotic smirk as he watches your eyes widen, scrambling to get onto your feet only to fail and fall back due to the immense muscle pain, you cry out trying once again, knowing he was playing dirty. You watch as his eyebrows twitch with amusement, lips drawn into a wide smile as he leans down to look at you cower away from him, 

"Run."