#i can't have a complete thought without three other thoughts hitching a ride

[doom-dreaming]

I came across an interesting callback during my reading/research; in Ghosts of Onyx, Kelly is skeptical of the S-IIIs' battle-readiness and refers to them as "kids" - a statement that Kurt immediately refutes:

and then in Last Light when Lopis is saying something along the lines of "these kids need medical attention," Fred tells her the exact same thing:

...which I thought was an interesting response, because I remembered him being sympathetic to the Gammas at the end of Ghosts...

and the events of these books are only about seven months apart in the greater Halo timeline (not accounting for the slipspace/time-continuum fuckery going on with Onyx) so it seemed a little uncharacteristic to me at first (and you can chalk some of it up to author characterization, sure) but honestly? It's basically the same situation in both cases: someone close to the S-IIIs is defending their status and capability against a skeptical "outsider" opinion (Kelly is obviously less of an outsider than Veta, but the comparison holds up) and vouching for them in the face of doubt. It's a fun little parallel to draw.

[spitblaze]

thoughts continue to percolate on Jobswap AU

So, as aforementioned, Therion is a surgeon apothecary who lost faith in himself and his profession after losing a patient who had some significance to him after a preventable accident and then being accosted by the family in his grief. He gave up the whole thing for several years, living in relative isolation close to Bolderfall. Until one day, when a desperate woman shows up at the door and begs for his help. She had heard he was an apothecary with knife skills, and sought him out immediately. Her younger sister, she says, has a giant growth on her neck, and if it doesn't come off soon, it's going to kill her. Other apothecaries have tried, but they all said it was impossible, that it was too difficult to remove it without damaging her wind pipe or major arteries. Or something. Idk. The point is that this situation is really dire and this kid reminds him of the patient he lost so he pulls the scalpel out 'one last time' to save her. She lives, and he remembers why he took up the mantle to start- the purpose of the apothecary. Doing this, he takes his journey.

Chapters two and three are mostly unrelated, basically chapters of Black Jack. Therion goes from town to town, sometimes charging ridiculous amounts of money for surgery, sometimes performing completely free of charge. He saves whoever he can, and those who abuse his abilities for their own gain find themselves with karmic retribution. Throughout the whole thing, though, there's the undercurrent of something worse happening. Another surgeon like him, traveling and charging ridiculous fees. He's a miracle worker, they say- he provides entire new organs when old ones fail, pulls people back from the very brink of death. But when his patients can't pay up, they mysteriously disappear...

Chapter four. Therion meets Darius. Fellow apothecary, wealthy fellow, personal doctor to the Ciannos. He has a proposal for Therion- they go into business, establish their own practice, charge out the nose and turn away all who don't pay. They both have reputations- Therion is the Beast Apothecary, a medic who works so fast and so precise it's almost inhuman, not afraid to use unorthodox methods to achieve his results. Darius is the Miracle Apothecary, a man who can seemingly bring people back from the brink of death with tools and materials nobody else has. The two of them together could do whatever they want, and who would stop them? Therion declines- he prefers the freedom of traveling where he pleases and doing as he wishes. A partnership would complicate things, and put him on more of a leash than he'd like. Besides, he's heard...rumors about what happens to his patients that don't pay up. Darius threatens him and leaves, and Therion investigates later on. Maybe follows some goons from the home of someone who hasn't paid, maybe scopes out Darius's 'hideout' by putting together information given to him by locals. Either way, he gets in, and discovers that Darius has been kidnapping the patients who don't pay up and harvesting their blood and tissue and organs. Horrifying! He fucking kills Darius. Darius tries to give him that 'you're no better than me' schtick but it doesnt work because he's regained his faith! In himself! In his profession! And I'm American so in my head it's a whole criticism of the for-profit healthcare industry!!! FUCK you Darius

Because I like it when stories cross over and it isn't actually a game trying to make sure you can complete all the stories in whatever order you want, Darius is also a major player in Alfyn's story! Alfyn lost his parents to the plague that swept through Clearbrook as a child. He survived thanks to a traveling apothecary, but he had nowhere to go after that ('but what about zeph' idk shh dont worry about it), and ended up turning to a life of petty theft after hitching a ride to Saintsbridge. He joins up with a group of thieves called the Red Hoods, as their newest and youngest member. They're all pretty cool people, somewhere between Robin Hood and Ye Olde Mutual Aid Organization. They look out for themselves and the little guy, steal from the rich, give to the poor, skim a bit off the top.

These guys are his best friends for years, he hones his skills as a thief, learned how the world works and how to help, basically everything he knows he learned from the Red Hoods. All is well until six years before present day, when Alfyn is fifteen. The Red Hoods plan a heist on the Ciannos, a crime family that's been terrorizing locals and hoarding money. Alfyn is briefly held up by helping a kid do something, look for their cat or whatever but makes it to the meeting point in time to see that they were lured into a trap. He peeks from behind a doorway, seeing a red-haired figure laugh about how gullible they were, how trusting and naive they all were for trusting each other. All of his friends are beaten and bloodied, some already dead. One sees him from the doorway and tells him to run, to get out while he still can. To keep the Red Hoods alive. Unable to act, Alfyn flees, only barely evading becoming a victim himself.

Years later he's still saddled with grief and survivor's guilt, thinking that if he had just said no to the kid who asked for help, if he had just taken a different route, if he had just been there to scout ahead, if, if, if. He's carried on the name of the Red Hoods as a one-man gang, unable to bring himself to allow anyone else into his heart that he could just lose in an instant again. He leaves calling cards after robbing the wealthy and unjust blind and redistributing it among the lower class. He does this until he happens to redistribute the wealth from the one family he shouldn't have- the Ravuses. From here it's basically Therion's story, except with Alfyn. You know how it goes. Get the Dragonstones and we'll remove the Blackmail Bracelet.

The end of his story coincides with Therion's story (also thematically appropriate bc im incapable of not giving them a slow burn romance) when they finally confront Darius. Darius comments on how the 'little coward thief' or whatever finally grew a spine, and how he can meet his end like the rest of his little friends. No longer afraid, Alfyn loudly declares that as long as he's alive, the Red Hoods will never die, and in a moment of solidarity, the rest of the party declares that they too are Red Hoods. Its very touching and inspirational and worthy of some Toby Fox music and then they beat the everloving shit out of Darius.

I am aware there are several holes in this story. And to that I say: Don't Worry About It.

[floofs-headcanons]

Hello Reiu and Hamfie! I hope you both are doing well. First, do you have rules or a guideline for requests? About what you write or not, what characters and how many, in what form (hcs, one shots, etc)...

Second, may I request Ace, Sabo and Law being saved by a mermaid? And until they need to leave again they spend some time together and the boys can't avoid falling for the reader?

Thank you so much! Welcome back!

Rescued by a Mermaid; Headcanons

Characters; Ace, Sabo, Law

hello! we’re doing good, thank you for asking! and yes, we do have rules and guidelines, they’ve been rewritten and pinned by the time this is posted! Sorry for the long wait on this one we had a little bit of trouble with ideas ;  ;

ACE —

The heavens had sent you an angel, only to let him drown.

Perhaps it was quite bold of you to leave the safety of the sea in the first place, but your curiosity had gotten the better of you. Of this man and his strange craft, powered by what you can only assume to have been his devil fruit. A peek wouldn’t hurt, right?

Well it definitely didn’t hurt you, but it did scare him.

Watching him tumble off his one man raft, there is a sense of urgency- fear. The realization that he could not swim; 

But you can.

Your first meeting was perhaps not the best, but Ace laughs it off, unbothered by the occurrence.

Perhaps it is your worry that keeps you around at first- he did almost drown after all. It would be good to keep an eye on him...

Ace isn’t very against the idea, he’s aware of how much it weighs against your conscious and if it would make you feel better to travel with him for a while- there really was no harm in the company.

You learn very quickly just how much mischief this man gets up to and in to.

Honestly, you’ve experienced- and its barely been a week. 

From the insane encounters with the marines to cocky pirates thinking they could take on Fire Fist Ace of all people- there is never truly a dull day when you’re by his side. 

Speaking to him though, is probably your favourite thing to do. 

Swimming alongside his Striker, you have a great many conversations- be it about his many adventures across the New World, to his current mission and hunt, Ace is full of surprises.

Perhaps the most surprising of them all is when night hits and he camps out by the beach. There’s something incredibly sober about the way he looks under the firelight and for the first time, you really take a moment to admire his features.

He’s not simply just loud and rowdy, but neither is he cold and calculating like an action movie Casanova; Ace isn’t like that. 

You think he has a greater hold on you than you do on him- but you’re sorely mistaken. 

Even when you eventually parts ways and he leaves you with a blinding smile, equivalent only to the sun, you know not the impact you have left in his bleeding heart.

But the sea calls for her sailors and he had a mission to see through.

You’d never know, as he left you with his vivre card, how much he would’ve loved to see you once more.

“Will you visit me?”

“Of course! It’s a promise.” 

SABO —

Sabo was perhaps just a bit too over-confident in his abilities, and a little too forgetful in the fact that he no longer had the ability to swim.

You’re very much not pleased when battleships start sailing in your direction and even less pleased when people start falling into the water left and right. Thankfully, all of them simply swim back up to the surface rather quickly, all except for one.

There’s no reason for you to save him- after all, he was part of the ruckus. Yet even with that train of thought, you find yourself moving towards him, cradling him in your embrace before dragging him to the surface. 

Some air would do him some good. 

To be frank you were ready to give him a piece of your mind once he started waking up- but holy shit was he pretty. 

Your irritation was swallowed temporarily to be replaced with concern when he starts coughing. The poor thing did almost drown, but that didn’t excuse him from disturbing your peaceful day.

He takes your words quite well, offering a sheepish smile in apology and a well overdue introduction.

A revolutionary? And the chief of staff at that?

Perhaps if you’d been in the mood, you might’ve made some snide remark over his careless demeanor, but you were much too intrigued by this new found knowledge.

You’d eventually get him back- after all, you had made the executive decision to come with him, if only for a while. 

He agrees to let you come with him on the condition you’d stay away from anything dangerous and in turn keep him out of trouble [like drowning]. 

It’s a risk by all means- this is a classified mission, but some detours and shortcuts can be advantageous. 

Like your company for example. 

Not a day goes by without some witty banter or the other.

In his eyes, you’re seem so awestruck by every story he shares, particularly enamored by the tales of his youth alongside his brothers. 

Having you around is like a breath of fresh air while his mind is drowning in the sea.

It’s difficult to say goodbye- when he has to meet up with the others upon the completion of his mission. It wouldn’t be right to drag you into their affairs and he’d rather you not be directly involved if he can help it. 

But he makes it clear he’ll be back, you know he’d never lie. Not with that stupid smile on his face. 

“Wait for me!”

“Just try not to drown until then.”

It’s so cheesy, the smile he gives you, “I wouldn’t mind drowning if it means you’ll be there to save me again.” 

You 100% drench him for that one. 

LAW —

You’re certainly not too trusting of humans, but curiosity has always overweighed that fear.

It’s stormy the day you decide to swim out of your little bubble and explore the endless depths of the sea, and perhaps also very fortunate. Even in the raging storm you could hear the shouts of people, possibly pirates, and their rapid footsteps as they tried to clear their... vessel from tipping over.

“Captain!” Even through the heavy rain and roaring waves you could hear members of the crew call out, followed by a loud crash as body meets water.

The heart pirates are more than shocked when their captain resurfaces not even moments later, arm swung over another person’s shoulder and coughing out large amounts of water

He’s grateful for the help but he sure wasn’t expecting you to ask to get on the ship

“This is your pirate ship, right? Can I hitch a ride?”

Can you what now

Shachi and Penguin are more than delighted to say yes for Law

You’re just a little too curious for your own good, asking about everything from what their ship was actually called- you learn it’s a submarine called the Polar Tang- and very quickly make friends with Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin. Jean Bart scares you just a bit.

And of course making friends with those three means making friends with Law, whether he wants to or not

He’s a lil annoyed at first

Why does everyone insist on treating his sub like it was their home

But he warms up to you easily- considering how much time he’s spent with Luffy this was nothing

He likes spending time with you during his breaks. You’ve traveled plenty despite your caution of humans, and there’s a great deal of stories to tell.

“I almost got eaten, you know!”

“Maybe if you weren’t so reckless you wouldn’t have.”

He’s never thought to find banter fun before (that’s a lie, he just won’t accept it) but it sure is nice to talk to you.

When time comes for you to leave he doesn’t ask you to stay- he doesn’t tell you how he likes your company or how he’d like to spend more time with you.

He simply leans over the railing of the sub along with everyone else, “You’re welcomed back anytime.”

“I’ll hold you to that!”

[everseeking]

hello!! It's your relief story anon!!! i friken love what you wrote!!! may i have another request 🥺 similar to the relief story, Levi's s/o gets into a near death experience right in front of him and he freezes for the first time. everyone's super shocked abt it after the mission and he gets reprimanded just for formalities (erwin n hanji rlly just wanna check up on him personally) but they all understand since he's been through a lot. Levi can't deal with his emotions and he wants to say i love you to his s/o (first time saying it) but he doesn't know how and yes HAHAHAHA

- OMG HI AGAIN ! IM SO HAPPY THAT YOU ENJOYED IT THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!!! thank you again not only for requesting that, but also for requesting again, it’s so awesome when u guys come back and request more :) plus your ideas are always so great. i had a lot of fun writing this, i hope u enjoy <3 (and i got your second message tysm for adding it ! i tried to include as much fluff as possible but my dumb brain always defaults to angst hahaha)

how to say i love you

- levi ackerman x reader

warnings: season 2 and ova spoilers (if you haven’t watched the ova’s yet they’re on youtube but this only references ‘a choice with no regrets’ aka levi’s ova)

levi has never had...feelings for anyone before.

the romantic kind, of course. he's felt plenty of things towards people on a regular basis—anger. hate. disgust. confusion. annoyance. frustration.

to be fair he has had the occasional friend, or the occasional person who he respected, and others who he flat out wanted to protect. just never anything romantic.

this didn’t bother him, falling in love wasn’t his top priority or anything. his life has been one traumatic experience after the other. there was no time for him to be romantically involved with another, nor was he willing to take the risk of potential heartbreak that would add to his constantly growing list of traumatic events.

when he first met y/n l/n he acknowledged her as nothing more than another member of the survey corps. someone he would work with. someone he would train with. someone who he would give orders to if deemed necessary. someone who would join his team. someone he would slowly become more curious about. someone who would bring him feelings that he couldn't describe in words.

his plans had clearly gone astray.

y/n was supposed to be nothing more than a colleague, but somehow fate had much more in store. the young girl began to appear more and more in his life and before he could even process it, she was already apart of his team.

now that the they were spending almost everyday together, along with the rest of his team, levi had the opportunity to try to solve the mystery that was y/n.

there was something that he felt about her that he couldn't put into words. the way she was determined to save humanity and her friends, the way she poured everything she had into everything she did, the way she was strong in every aspect of the word, the way she got along with the rest of the team, the way she laughed, the way she smiled, the way she spoke, the way she moved, all of it. it all encapsulated him.

what is this emotion ? fascination ? curiosity ? these words weren’t completely right, but they safe enough for him to settle on for now.

yes, that's all. the brat just makes me curious because i don't understand her.

at least, that's what he told himself. but the tingles that remained on his skin from the place where she accidentally brushed up against him or the way his stomach felt after his eyes met hers or the way he noticed himself always wanting to be near her or the way he wanted to protect her more than anything in the world, said otherwise.

whatever message he wanted to send probably definitely was not passed on. when y/n accidentally brushed up against him he snapped back "watch it." when she made eye contact with him, it was more her meeting his eyes and him seemingly glaring back. when he took a few steps towards her to be closer, she felt paranoid, wondering if he was determining whether or not he should scold her for something. when she was on missions and he occasionally had to step in and save her tail, she felt like she was slacking.

truthfully in all these situations levi just resorted back to his true nature. he never meant any harm so clearly he wasn’t the best at expressing his feelings. henceforth, the three word phrase was foreign to him.

after all the many challenges that came with trying to understand each other, the couple finally got together. but despite being together, neither had said the 'L word’ yet. 

to be honest, y/n hadn’t dwelled on it too much. she had learned the best way to survive mentally was to live in the moment. when the time would come, the time would come, however, the thought that time wasn’t a guarantee gnawed at the back of her brain.  she always wondered how levi felt about the matter, but never got around to asking. little did he know he’d once again find out for himself that time wasn’t a guarantee.

just like every other day, y/n awoke to levi placing a kiss on her forehead. he wished nothing more than to let the love of his life sleep late into the morning in their shared bed, safe from the dangers of the world, but there was another mission today in which he needed her by his side.

the plan was to head to the outskirts of wall rose to a forest that was known to be surrounded by titans. hanji convinced erwin to let her try to capture titans in the forest again, as it all but worked on the female titan. erwin agreed, not only because he too believed the survey corps had all the materials necessary to capture titans again, but also because he knew the scouts needed more real time practice in the forest. levi wasn’t happy to hear the commander refer to this as “practice,” since so many lives were guaranteed to be lost in the process, but there was nothing he could do about it.

with everyone’s approval and the preparations complete, they were off. the ride there had been as close to smooth sailing as possible, with erwin successfully rerouting the troops to avoid as many unnecessary collisions with titans as possible and a surprisingly low amount of abnormals in their path. but everyone knew the real problems would be up ahead.

in this area, the titans were mainly surrounding the thick trees in the forest. it wasn’t too far from the forest where they encountered the female titan so the layout of the jungle was fairly similar. a large path ran straight through the trees, leaving the scouts lots of opportunities.

before the forest itself came into view, the hoard otherworldly creatures showed up. the crowd of titans didn’t seem to be too bad, with none surpassing ten meters. a bit of the outer edges of the formation took a hit, but everyone else made it into the woods unscathed.

unlike the last time levi’s squad was in the forest, their objective was not to be the bait. instead, they were to take to the trees and be on clean up duty. it was a little different from their normal clean up duty, as they weren’t doing chores around the castle or cabin—they were eliminating stray titans. the survey corps was only prepared to capture two titans, so any others that entered needed to be exterminated.

they weren’t the only ones with this job, but erwin placed them as the last hoop the titans had to get through before they were captured. any titans that escaped the first few groups were more likely than not going to be challenging, so they needed to be left with the most talented squad.

the eight scouts that made up levi’s squad traveled the path that cut through the forest until they found the four trees in which they were to set up camp. levi and jean were on the first tree, armin and sasha on the one across from them, connie and mikasa on the next, and y/n and eren on the fourth. the formation placed y/n and levi diagonal from each other so they could each defend half of the younger scouts in their squad if necessary, as well as had the team in pairs that weren’t often together for even more practice.

the ground rumbled beneath the group as they looked down to see the first wave of soldiers acting as bait pass through. after some time and a few more waves, including hanji and erwin who were in charge of the traps, everyone passed through and the titans came into sight.

the ground troops had all reported that no abnormals or titans above ten meters made it in so they all relaxed—or relaxed as one can be when they’re facing man-eating giants. levi recognized the last troop passing through and gave his second in command a nod which she returned, letting everyone else know it was show time.

the rumbling of the ground from the horses before was nothing compared to that of the titans. not counting the first two, there were nine titans in all. everyone gave a silent thanks to the squads who had narrowed down the hoard before it arrived to them.

finally, the first two titans ran past the trees levi’s squad was hidden in, chasing the ground troops. with a loud “now !” from levi, the rest of them deployed from their hiding places. thanks to the squad’s impeccable teamwork and countless hours of training in forests closer to home, the remaining seven titans were taken out without a hitch. y/n couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride as she watched her team improve with every mission and it was obvious they all felt the same way. the way they beamed and had to hold back their celebration was as a clear as day.

the team regrouped, with y/n checking the younger members for any life threatening wounds and levi double checking all the titans were taken care of. she had just finished examining sasha when levi came back and announced the next step of today’s plan. everyone was to head forward to meet the other troops and aid in getting the titans back to the walls. although the titans may be secured, there were still infinite possibilities for catastrophes that could happen so they needed all the backup they could get. the young cadets nodded in agreement then followed after levi as he took to the sky, with y/n tailing the rest of the group. if y/n and levi weren’t side by side during missions, this was always the formation everyone fell into. levi led the way, protecting the front of the party, and she acted as the caboose to make sure no one got left behind as well as to protect them from the back.

after a few failed tricks from eren as he tried to show off with his gear and a quick scolding from levi, the rest of the scouts came into view. the mission appeared to be a success. the final two titans were both apprehended, one nailed to the ground and the other bound in the air.

squad levi landed and began to greet everyone but didn’t get very far when hanji’s squeals flooded everyone’s ears.

the scientist was practically bouncing up and down as she came over. “squad levi ! all in one piece, i see. let me show you what we’ve done,” she gushed, ushering all of them towards the titans.

it was no surprise she was so excited. she had been waiting for this day to arrive for ages, but levi still gave a quick “tch,” under his breath out of annoyance which forced y/n to cover her mouth with her palm to stifle a laugh.

the eight, now nine, of them cranned their necks up to see the side of the beast that was hammered into the ground. the sight would’ve been cruel if it were anything other than a titan, but remembering all the pain they’ve brought to each one of them, no one did so much as bat an eye. returning the focus back to hanji, everyone watched as she took a sharp inhale to prepare for her long ramble about how everything worked. lucky for y/n, before hanji could exhale, levi grabbed his partner’s arm and pulled her away.

he pulled her close so he could whisper in her ear, “come on, let’s go find erwin.”

as much as she wanted to argue with him and tell him he was being mean, she really didn’t want to listen to hanji’s spiel that she had heard a million times over. a tiny pang of guilt struck y/n for leaving the other half of the squad behind forced to listen to her, but sometimes everyone has to take one for the team.

she threw a quick wave over her shoulder to the others, then followed levi, who was still holding her arm, as he dragged her through the crowd of other scouts who were just floating around, waiting for orders, until he finally spotted the commander.

the tall man’s eyes fell upon the pair and he drew himself away from whomever he was speaking with to come greet them.

“ah levi, y/n,” erwin began. levi’s expression stayed the same but y/n offered the man a small smile and wave which he returned with a nod. erwin was actually the one who recommended to levi that he should consider y/n to be apart of his squad, so she heavily credited him entirely with starting your relationship with levi (even if levi disagreed every time she told him this). 

levi and erwin fell into formal conversation, discussing the remainder of the mission, which left y/n realizing levi hadn’t really saved her from a talk you’ve heard countless times before, but instead brought her into another one. 

hanji’s rambling would have been more interesting than this she thought to yourself as she began lazily scanned the small sea of scouts scrambling around, looking for a way to entertain yourself until the two men were done talking. one group in particular caught her eyes.

the soldiers seemed to be much more jittery than everyone else. they frantically looked amongst each other and towards the titan that hanji had just finished showing the rest of levi’s squad, and seemed to be contemplating a solution to an unknown issue.

it was clear something was up. 

just as she placed her hand on levi’s shoulder to bring his and erwin’s focus over to the scene, the ground began to shake, which caught their attention for her. 

no one had time to react when dust flew up everywhere, obstructing everyone’s views so they couldn’t see where the loud crashes that followed came from. a strong force slammed into them, throwing them who knows how far into the air. the fear of hitting the ground barely had enough time to settle into y/n before everything went dark.

everyone in the vicinity had been sent flying into the air along, but levi was the first one to be up on his feet again. bringing his arms up to shield his eyes, he decided to stay where he was as the dust cleared so he could assess the situation and move on from there. 

the scene finally came into view; he gathered that the titan had ripped its arm through the nails that secured it to the floor of the woods, then flailed it around in an attempt to grab people. it made a clean sweep in the area that he was previously standing—all that was left were debris and broken wood planks from the compartments that were attached to the other titan’s traps.

a wave of adrenaline passed through his body as he remembered who was with him. he needed to find not only erwin immediately, but also y/n. he reached down to grab the handles of his controller grip but froze instantly upon seeing what had just come into view as more of the dust cleared.

y/n was sprawled out on the ground, ODM gear tossed a few feet away from her body but more importantly, the titan’s hand was hovering mere meters above her.

his pulse almost quickened twicehold, but it felt as though it heart had stopped in his chest. situations like this presented themselves to levi almost everyday of his life, but this was much different. in those, he was almost two steps ahead. he knew that by now he should be wrapping his arms around y/n and pulling her to safety at breakneck speed, or even better, he should’ve shielded her from harm at the very beginning. but right now he couldn’t do so much as move his finger.

levi was completely inert—his arms felt like they being weighed down by a ball and chain, his legs felt like they had grown roots into the ground that planted in him place. his throat ran dry and his stomach felt like it had just done a flip. the rest of him went numb while shock consumed his body, physically and mentally, rendering him entirely helpless.

images of isabel, farlan, petra, oluo, eld, gunther, and countless others all flashed before him, the same running theme echoed in his mind—he wasn’t able to save them. all he had to do was pull back a single index finger. this would launch one of his anchors into the back of the titan’s neck, sending him flying to slice its nape. but he couldn’t do it. the only thing he knew he had the power to do was watch helplessly as his partner would be eaten alive.

the shouts of others flooded his ears as his senses slowly began to return to him, but it didn’t matter. he couldn’t make out a thing. frankly he wished he could so he could break away from the things that occupied his mind now. shame. guilt. humiliation. fear. regret. he took for granted every moment he had ever spent with y/n. every smile she gave him. every time he embraced her. every kiss. every conversation they shared under the stars while everyone else was fast asleep. every opportunity he had but failed to tell her that he—

before he finished his thought someone finally broke through his trance. erwin was the one who was able to crack the surface and bring him back to life. 

the commander was shouting levi’s name, hoping, praying, to wake him up from whatever was going on in his head. levi was still unable feel his body, but he realized he was moving as the ground began to grow smaller. one of erwin’s strong arms hooked around levi’s middle and they were flying away from the chaos below. the commander spared a glance to levi to see the man’s eyes were still trained on y/n.

the feeling returned to levi’s body as he felt the pain of being thrown onto one of the thick tree branches surge through his body. not knowing how else to bring him back from the trance that wasn’t full broken, erwin had tossed off of him levi instead of placing him down gently.

he watched as levi scrambled up and expected him to yell back for throwing him, but the response was much different.

“where is she ??” levi demanded. his eyes may have been on y/n the whole time, but his mind was elsewhere replaying scenes from the past. he had no idea if she had been eaten, or even survived the initial attack. the only think he saw was her body on the ground, unmoving.

“safe,” erwin confirmed. “hanji ran over just in time and got her. but what happened to you ?” no one had ever seen levi freeze up the way he did. others believed it was just fear which made him seem a little more human to them, but erwin knew it was more than that.

throughout the years, erwin watched levi witness the deaths of those closest to him, and even then he was still able to act. but after seeing him go rigid, erwin was more than worried. it was clear levi went into shock, however, shock runs more than skin deep. 

this became even more evident to him as levi remained silent the entire way back to the walls. y/n was still unconscious, so one of the open carts was her escort. guilt continued to wash over levi as he wasn’t able to ride in the cart with her to monitor her closely because he had to ride his horse back. regardless, he stayed as close to the cart as possible and stole as many glances her way as he could.

if he had it his way, he would’ve waited outside the infirmary for y/n when they arrived back home, but hanji and erwin practically dragged him to the mess hall to replenish his energy. this may or may not be skipping the part where levi was questioned about what happened, followed by him being chastised for his actions (or lack there of). levi could bare focus even though it was such a serious conversation. his mind was still a hazy mess. as much as hanji and erwin wanted to talk to levi more about the situtation, they knew it was best for the conversation to end there for the day. levi looked so shaken up that he could barely keep himself standing so the last thing he needed was to be yelled at more. the entire corps also made sure to steer clear of the man. he usually had all his emotions hidden but they were on full display now. it still scared the hell out of them.

but the fear alone wasn’t enough to stop them from whispering to themselves. word carried fast about how captain levi froze up and watched one of his squad mates almost die. the ones who only heard about the story instead of witnessing it couldn’t believe what they were hearing. the captain levi did nothing while one of his own almost became titan food ? 

hearing the whispers in passing, levi didn’t care that they were talking about him, but he was still affected. their words just made reality sink deeper into him. they weren’t the only ones who were unable to believe what happened. he really just watched helplessly as someone almost died. and it wasn’t just someone, it was his other half.

“hey levi ?” hanji voiced, pulling him out of his head. levi didn’t bother looking up from his food that he had been staring at for the past few minutes to face her. the best he could to was give her a side glance as he peered at her from the corner of his eyes and waited for her to finish.

the glare he was sending her way made her blood run cold, but she took the hint and continued. “are you alright ?” she asked in a small voice.

“does it look like i’m alright ?” he growled back, then went back to eating.

“just wanted to ask,” she added with an awkward laugh then turned to erwin who was on the other side of her. for once in her life she knew not to press any harder, but making levi upset wasn’t her intention. she was genuinely worried about him. hanji gave erwin a what do i do now ? look, hoping for some help, but erwin could only shake his head. he cared about levi just as much as she did, but he knew there was nothing either of them could do or say to make levi feel better. the only thing he needed was to see y/n.

at last, levi finished his dinner and excused himself to go find his partner. as his feet carried him at a quick pace across the stone floors of the many hallways in HQ, fear came back to his already grim mind. there was no word on y/n’s condition so he assumed no progress had been made and she was still unconscious. 

needless to say, when he rounded the corner and saw her sitting on the bench right outside the infirmary swiveling her heels and tapping her toes together as if she was bored, shock overcame him once again, this time on a much lower scale. similar to just a few hours ago, he was frozen instantly upon seeing her. it was a much prettier sight this time, but it was still painful to see. the bandage that wrapped around her head peaked out from being any strands of hair that fell in front of her face, other wraps and patches plastered themselves across her arms and legs, and some purple and blue splotches peaked out from behind them. this was only the skin that was exposed. for once in his life levi didn’t want to think about what she looked like when she weren’t wearing any clothes. he made a quick mental note to later place tender kisses on all her bumps and bruises, and took of running towards her.

y/n had been discharged from the infirmary during dinner hours, so the halls has been quite empty as she sat outside alone, falling into boredom. when the first sounds of shoes hitting the ground entered her ears, she got a bit excited, but calmed herself down reminding herself it probably wasn’t him. but when the steps got quicker and louder, she finally let yourself look up to see up to see her partner was the source. there was no point in holding back anyone; her face visibly lit up and a wide smile placed itself on her lips. just like levi, y/n wanted nothing more in the entire world than to see him. 

he run turned to a jog then a complete stop as he halted in front of her. despite being so anxious to see one another, neither were really prepared. they just kinda...stared at each other, neither sure of the right words to say. levi decided to take the initiative. he opened his mouth, hoping something, anything, would come out, but his attempt fell flat. words just weren’t enough. instead, he lifted his arms and placed both hands gently on y/n’s shoulders. she caught on quickly, standing up at the same time as he was pulling her into his arms for a tight embrace.

the pair remained silent in each other’s arms until y/n decided to take initiative this time and finally spoke. “is it true ?” she mumbled against his neck, barely loud enough for him to hear.

as much as he had hoped the gossip would stay in the mess hall, levi knew that inevitably word would spread to her. someone must have told her everything that happened, leaving in every little detail about how levi made no moves to save her life, ending up having to be saved by hanji in the end.

based off his silence, y/n knew levi had a lot on his mind so she continued “did you really freeze up?” 

he didn’t realize it, but he had tensed up at her words. it absolutely pained him to answer, but he couldn’t imagine the pain she were feeling. 

summing up his courage, he began to confirm the worst, but she pulled away before he could get more than a “yes,” out. levi braced himself for the hurt expression that he would be faced with, knowing his heart would break instantly as she realized he truly did failed to protect her, but instead he was met with kind eyes and soft face.

the look on his face had utter disbelief written all over it as her hands went up to cup his face that was now reddening. “are you okay?” y/n asked softly. “im so sorry.”

levi was beyond bewildered. he wanted her to be furious at him. yell at him. pull her soft hands back and strike him as much as she pleased. tell him he failed and that she couldn’t stand the sight of him. he knew he deserved it all and more, but he should’ve known she would never do that. that wasn’t y/n.

he melted into her touch and placing one of his hand over one of hers that remained on his cheek. “i was terrified, y/n.”

y/n finally gave him one of her beautiful smiles and giggled softly. “why were you scared ? i was the one who almost got eaten,” she teased.

y/n’s laughs had quickly subsided after seeing the serious look that had etched itself onto levi’s face. “because you were in danger,” he started.

“i don’t know what id do with myself if i lost you, i...”

“i love you, y/n.”

it was finally y/n’s turn to get a taste of the shock that levi had been experiencing all day. she could’ve sworn her heart skipped a beat at his words, followed by butterfly wings tickling the inside of her tummy, her eyes widening and jaw falling slack. her hands slowly slipped from his face to instead place one of her palms on her chest to make sure her heart was indeed pumping at a regular pace.

levi, on the other hand, was not having a magical experience. y/n’s reaction made him feel as though his feelings weren’t reciprocated despite having been together for so long. he started to get deeper into his head, negative thoughts starting to eat away at him once again, when she finally spoke.

“i love you too, levi,” she breathed out, still too stunned to breathe properly.

levi had had enough of being unable to move for one day. one of his hands grabbed y/n’s waist while the other found its way to the back of her head, as he kissed her roughly, which she eagerly returned. the way he felt her grin against his lips was enough to make all the pain and fear he had experienced that day worth it.

he couldn’t have asked for a better outcome to such a shitty day.

levi had finally learned how to say i love you and he thanked the stars every night following that day that y/n was the one who taught him how.

[gingersnappe-9]

Quisiera: Growing Pains (2)

Javier Peña / F!Reader; Post Narcos

Masterlist || Series List || Taglist Form || PREVIOUS || NEXT

1.9K words

Summary: You have a lot on your mind. You never expected Javi to be one of them. But that's nothing a good soak can't fix, right?

Warnings: mention of loss of parent & degenerative diseases, minor depictions of sexual thoughts, minor profanity

A/N: because I'm a major dork, and no one asked, I created the floor plan for the reader's house and my friend @followwhereshegoes designed it in Sims for me. The photos are at the end of the chapter. I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

Your hair blew in the wind as you drove your work-beaten Ford F-250 home. Papers from a long day of checking up on animals and livestock fluttered beneath your now empty thermos for coffee. Your head bobbed with the familiar bumps and turns of the road as you drove home. The ride wasn’t unlike it had been any other day, but as you pulled into your driveway and peaked to the left and you knew he would be there. You had known for a few weeks now that Javi had been back. On a courtesy visit for Don Jesús -- Javi’s dad -- he had mentioned his son might be returning to Texas soon. That had to have been roughly two, maybe three months ago?

You never thought you would see him again. The kid who always thought he knew best. The one who was so sure of himself and that the world was his oyster. You weren’t surprised that he didn’t recognize you though. That was Javi you grew up with. This Javier was different. It was plain to see that he carried a weight with him. Knowing the things he knew, holding on to whatever he’d done in the back of his mind now and forever. He wasn’t the bright and shiny version of Javi you once knew, but he was still as golden as ever.

As you hopped out of the car and twirled the keys on your finger, you were beyond satisfied at your decision to postpone your reunion with Javi. Crossing the threshold of your house you recalled how panicked he looked. The quick flashes of “oh shit” in his eyes before he masked his uncertainty with precision and a charming smile. To others, he played it off fine, but you knew Javi before he was Agent Peña. You’d practically grown up with him so you were privy to those subtle tells.

Javi’s abuelos moved to be closer to their son and his family. His grandparents and your parents met in English class after they moved to America and the families stayed close ever since. Javi’s family was from Mexico, and yours came from Colombia. Each of your tíos and tías helped watch and raise you and your primos. While most of your blood relatives were still in Colombia, you loved your found family here in the States. All of the birthdays spent in one another’s backyards with copious amounts of candy that came pouring out of piñatas. Big Christmas gatherings with mountains of food like ponche, pozole verde, and dulcitos like your favorite manjar blanco. Above all, you remember the laughter.

You laughed so much as a child. Someone could look at you in such a way and you would have burst out into a fit of giggles and happy squeals. It was a bittersweet thing to recall. Things were just… different now. You grew up. Life changed, you certainly had.

This was the home your parents had built not too long after they came to America. You still felt like a little kid playing house sometimes. Being the sole occupant felt strange after the years you spent growing up with the place bursting with laughter, people, and above all love. But life changed. Your mother had died of a heart attack the year before you finished vet school. Ten years back, your father was diagnosed with early onset dementia and it was left to you to make the hard decision of placing him in a nursing home. You couldn’t care for him with the hours you worked at the clinic, and you didn’t think your heart could bear seeing the man you admired slowly fade away. It made you feel awful to admit, but there was only so much a heart could take. It could’ve been different if you still had your mamá, but it was just you.

Your body hitched a bit as you bent over to pull the dirt caked boots off your feet. Growing up is fun, they said. They never mentioned anything about rapid onset aches and pains once you passed thirty. You loved being a vet, you loved taking care of horses and all manner of livestock; being there for the folks who relied on you, but man alive was it taxing on the body.

As you padded your way into the study just to the left of the front door, you dropped the excess paperwork and lunch pale on your desk; your boots onto the old mat so as to not spread anymore dirt in the house. Trying your best to properly file away your paperwork, billing receipts and lists of future visits, you found your mind wandering back to Javier.

The wonderful way his bone structure had sharpened with age. Yeah he was a good looking teenage boy -- a bit on the thin side, but strong in body and mind -- but this version of Javi was a stud. His skin was naturally tanner than some, but it was even more bronzed by the sun from his time down in Colombia. A man with strong looking hands that wrapped the circumference of the tumbler glass filled with neat whiskey meanwhile yours could only manage to get around halfway. You were extremely annoyed at how he could pull off a damn mustache without looking like a creep. Finding that you were spending far too much time thinking about Javier Peña rather than getting your ass ready for bed, you set off on your nightly routine.

Pushing yourself up and out of the desk chair was more tiresome than you would have liked to admit, but not impossible. You then opened the door that led into your bedroom. It still felt a bit weird to call it your bedroom after all this time.

You had redecorated the place to your tastes. The main bedroom now had a beautiful four post bed with pleated gossamer drapes around the posts. The warm wood bureau and doors matched the deep trim of the window sills and frames throughout the house. You removed your everyday jewelry and placed them in the little wooden dishes you had bought in Colombia the last time you visited. You had just turned twenty two then, and didn’t care to remember how old you were now. Admiring the fine artistry of the delicately carved lines and lacquered scenery of a village always brought back fine memories, summers spent in a home away from home. Peeling off your work clothes proved a bit more challenging now that your muscles and bones had started to stiffen from the wear of the workday. You walked into your bathroom as naked as the day you were born, a small perk of having moved into the main bedroom since it had an ensuite bathroom.

After the long day, a shower just didn’t seem like it was going to cut it. You pivoted to the left and began to draw a steaming hot bath. A few drops of essential oil were splashed into the piping hot water. Your abuelita did always say, “Medicina cuando la necesita, pero los remedios naturales siempre son los mejores.”

Medicine when you need it, but natural remedies are always best.

Once the tub was filled as high as it could go and still accommodate your body, the taps were shut off, and you slipped into the warm bliss. The water worked its magic while you turned on a small radio that sat on the windowsill. It was tuned in to some station based in Mexico that always played música rancheras. You were a self-proclaimed “old soul” and loved your parents' generational music. It was a not-so-guilty-pleasure for you. Even when you were younger, some of the other kids made fun of you for not liking the more modern music. But your mom always reassured you it was because you were un romántico. A romantic.

The soulful melodies and elegant guitar echoed through the steam from the bath as your aches and pains were softly pulled from your bones. The sky outside the window was a dusty pink muddled with orange. The heat from the bath was wonderful. Your mind wandered ever farther as you sunk deeper into relaxation. Tonight was one of those evenings you imagined someone else in the tub with you, it was one of the reasons you’d thrown in a couple extra bucks when you redid the bathroom. You imagined leaning against their chest, them running their hands up and down the inner part of your thighs, getting closer and closer to where you wanted their touch the most.

Big and strong hands. Ones that weren’t afraid to leave an imprint, a reminder of their presence. Your cheeks flushed at the thought of them gently pressing and squeezing into your thighs, chest, and hips. The fantasy completed itself when you put a face to this mystery man.

Warm brown eyes, a well-defined jaw, somewhat pouty lips that practically begged you to kiss them with a fucking mustache of all things. You imagined the sound of his voice right next to your ear, whispering dirty things while he continued to paw at your body with confidence. The fresh recall of your most recent conversation made the day dream seem all the more real. It was intimate, enticing. You hadn't had any real boyfriend in a while and with the luscious way the water lapped over your skin, you couldn’t help but squeeze your thighs together unconsciously as his conjured words echoed in your mind.

You feel so soft, Armorsita. Do you like when I touch you here, baby? Oh, you do. I can tell. Mi dama. Tell me. Tell me how much you like it, how much you love being mine. Let me have you, all of you. Let me show you just how much I love touching you right…

Your mind snapped back when your head slipped from its perch on the back of the tub. The room felt steamier than it had before even as the water temperature had dipped to lukewarm.

Was I really just fantasizing about Javier Peña of all people?

It was official then. You needed to get into bed and sleep off whatever delusions these were and come back to reality.

Fully washed and dried, you finished your routine by lathering yourself in your favorite lavender body lotion. Your body felt much better without the thin layer of Texas dust smothering your skin. Something different, however, clouded your mind, or rather, someone. It was a bit alarming how easily Javier permeated your idle thoughts. The encounter suddenly became very clear.

Why did you say goodnight as sultry as you did? Was that even sultry? Why do I keep thinking about it being “sultry”?

Your mind recalled the brief moment your lips touched his cheek. It wasn’t unlike any other time you kissed a friend goodbye. You’d been doing it forever. It was how you said goodbye. You knew that, and so did he. So why did it carve out its own special place in your mind? Why were the sensations so clear and vidid? Why did you so badly want to do it again and again without pause?

Of course your mind would fixate on the person who had just recently come back into your life. It was only natural. Humans are designed to notice differences. It’s a survival technique. To pay attention to possible threats. And you had yet to make up your mind if you considered this version of Javier Peña a friend or foe.

Taglist: @hnt-escape @betti-book @mcueveryday @athalien

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

The Joan Jett Quartet

Word Count: 3500

Warnings: NC-17 BDSM, extreme language, consensual bondage and paddling

A/N: Decided to do a short series of erotic drabbles based around Klaus x Reader during his first year with Destiny's Children. They'll be "Tied" together with "Do You Wanna Touch Me There?"

Tag List: @robertsheehanownsmyass​ @frogs--are--bitches​ @firstpersonnarrator​ @elliethesuperfruitlover​ @rob-private @forenschik @super-unpredictable98 @bisexualnathanyoung @messengeronthemoon @magic-multicolored-miracle

Book 2- Bad Reputation (Klaus x Fem!Reader)**

There was no doubt you had been on a complete power trip after your tryst with Klaus and the table. Smug satisfaction on your lips everytime the two of you passed one another in the mansion. You held your head high while all he did in return was roll his eyes and shake his head, cheeks flush.

The last straw for Klaus was one moment when you passed one another on the stairs. You held your fingers up in a V-shape in front of your mouth, snaking your tongue in and out obscenely. He grabbed you by the wrist and yanked your body flush with his. Your heart raced with desire as those exasperated eyes glared at you.

“You've been telling others our secrets,” his voice low.

“Of course. They're my friends, and they are interested in why The Prophet keeps choosing me to meet behind closed doors. I didn't know it was a secret, ” you grasped his neck with your free hand and tightened so that your nails dug into his skin, “these proclivities.”

There was a sharp intake of breath as Klaus visibly shook under your grip. An erection twitched against your hip and grew the tighter you clutched. Then suddenly lifted your chin upward. His thumb pressed hard into the bone so you could only look him in the eye.

“If I wanted any of them to know what gets me off, I could've asked any number to play with me. I'm pretty fucking sure they'd be better at it, too. Uppity bitch with your uninspired tit fucking. too good for the strap-on unlike Jill and Kitty.”

Your heart fell and pounded in your ears the entire way down. But you remembered yourself and him. How the game could start any time he felt up to it. An unspoken contract the moment you agreed to restrain him and dominate him. This was just payback because you made Klaus human to the other Children.

“It's my turn to play”

Your face was hot with want. There was a wetness between your legs at the thought of it. His lips moved centimeters from yours so you could breathe what he exhaled. Your hips ground into him.

“Bring a blindfold,” Klaus instructed. “I'll bring the paddle”

------

You stood in the living area of Klaus’s wing. You shifted from barefoot to barefoot in a large sweater and your underwear. Your hair twisting and untwisting around a finger without thought. The sleep mask you brought as a blindfold laid out on the arm of the sofa. You shocked yourself that the sight of a paddle, makeshift in haste from a kid’s toy, turned you on.

“Can't say sorry for being late,” The sound of Klaus’s voice made you jump out of your skin. A sly grin spread across his face, “Nervous, doll?”

He stood in front of you now, that long beard gone and his hair wrapped up in a bun. “Couldn't get the fucking thing off. (It was fake) At least that's one secret you've kept.” His hand ran down your arm and waist around to your ass which he rubbed all too briefly.

Now Klaus leaned in to kiss your forehead and cheeks before lifting your chin so that his lips could meet yours. “You totally get that you're one of two people I trust in this room?”

You looked around assuming he meant himself. “Yes.”

“And you get that I've been mostly myself with you.” You nodded an understanding. “Good girl. You definitely fucked that up by gossiping about me, so I have GOT to punish your insolence. Can't have you squawking to the other chickens in the henhouse that the fox enjoys being pecked.”

Klaus laughed at his own metaphor. Not maniacal, in an honest giggle the way he did when he found himself truly humorous. You loved that about him. He could command attention with his “sermons,” but in your bedroom the nights he came to you? He thrived on making you smile.

His face became serious again, “This isn't some master slave bullshit either. I was raised by servants, and trust me it fucking bothers me. Mom, a bit mechanical as she was, managed fine on her own.”

Klaus was lost in thought but shook his head. He made his way behind you and spoke in your ear, “I just like playing with you. You choke me and fuck me while I lose consciousness. I spank you and make you swallow my cum until you learn to keep secrets. And if you're good, I'll fuck you too.”

The breath caught in your throat at how casual he was. How he brought sexual freedom to you and the others. Nothing was too perverse as long as everyone agreed, and you consented to this eagerly.

“Good. Now the safe words,” he fitted the sleep mask down over your eyes, “are Spice Girls.”

“What?” you snickered.

There was a swift open handed slap on your ass that stung beautifully, “Correct response is?”

“Yes, Prophet.”

“I want you to take your sweater off, but as you do stand with your feet slightly apart. Then bend forward.”

The chill in the air caused your skin to goose pimple as soon as your sweater left your body. You complied, unable to tell which direction Klaus was coming from. Your heart raced with excitement.

As you leaned forward, his hand caught you by the throat. The other warm and flat on your back. He ran it over your spine and to your ass which he rubbed before he gave another slap. This time even harder to your delight. When you didn't flinch, he repeated himself. Harder still. Once more before he dipped his hand between your legs and rubbed your sex through your panties.

“I figured you may enjoy the same things I do. Look how wet you already are, and I haven't even used the paddle. And this ass, honestly there's so much to work with. More men should appreciate a thick one.”

The friction of Klaus’s hand picked up as he kept working you through the fabric. Then he withdrew it and that pleasured sting came one more time. Harder. You choked on a moan.

Over the backs of your thighs now and over the hips his hand went. “These hips too. Perfect for when I want to ride you like we're dogs or tease that little asshole.”

That part wasn't really a turn on to you. When Klaus played with you there, unable to switch off how he might please a male lover from a female.

Your thoughts fell away as that roaming hand took hold of your panties and removed them. The hitch in your throat as you felt him tug you forward with the hand on your neck. Klaus massaged your naked sex with the palm of his hand. The heel found your clit and pressed into it before you knew he had pulled back and raised his hand. He brought it down with such force on your bare ass that you lurched forward. It was wet.

“Now you're quiet?” Klaus inquired. “I wonder how long the chicken can go before the fox makes her cluck?”

There was a rush to your head as he righted you. He unhooked your bra and removed that too. Klaus pinched your nipple. Then the other. He traced the erect skin with a fingertip. Your back arched because his body leaned into you. The loose tendrils from his bun splayed across your chest as he bit the top of both of your tits. Still no sound.

“You're tits are, like, the perfect fucking size for how large my hands are,” each word emphasized by a hard squeeze as he roughly kneaded them.

Without warning, Klaus dropped them and dipped his fingers inside you. He pumped them deftly in and out, circling your clit and worked it until you started to pulsate. He drove you just mad enough.

“I can't believe how fucking wet you are. Do I make you cum?” Klaus’s fingers moved quickly and your legs started to shake. “Do I punish you some more?” Fingers out of you, hand on your throat to swing you forward again so he could spank you somehow even harder. Once. Twice.

“Or do I sit and watch you fuck yourself until its time to suck me off?”

Still bent in half, Klaus pushed his fingers deep inside and pumped them again. Assaulted your clit. “No, I'm too hands on.”

Then a white heat filled your core and spread. Your sex constricted around Klaus’s fingers as you came. A loud squeal turned moan echoed off the walls. He held you steady by the neck as he rubbed out a second orgasm and made a tsk tsk sound.

“Guess I've got my answer. More insolence when I wasn't ready for you, and you broke your silence!”

You couldn't even comprehend Klaus’s next move. He stood you up and then bent your arms so your hands were on the back of your head. The position when you're under arrest. You could feel his bare chest against your back, erection just beneath his linen pants in your ass.

Klaus held your hands to your head and stepped away from you. Three swift hits to your ass, “I knew you wouldn't keep quiet long.” Each word again emphasized the rhythm of his punishment.

You took a chance, “Please forgive me, Prophet.” Your body shook with endorphins.

“Debatable. Can’t exactly talk with a mouthful of my cock now can you,” Klaus was still holding your hands above your head. Free hand that spanked you reached around to pinch your nipple another time.

This was the first time you realized he had yet to kiss you. That was so personal. This was.. you weren't sure. But once more thoughts escaped you as he pushed you blindly forward. His hand in your head dug into yours and your hair.

Once your knees came into contact with the soft velvet of a chair, Klaus stopped. He let go of your hands and gestured for you to drop them. He left you momentarily before returning to your side. His hands brought leather around your neck to the front and pulled a bit to tighten it but not the way he can handle. Cold metal against your spine.

“It's a collar and restraints. I get to control just how much of my cock you take in and you won't be able to stop me or help yourself. Next time you'll choke on the gossip like you will me.”

Klaus’s voice was low in your ear. His lips were inches from your skin. Goatee and mustache brushed against your neck as he locked your hands into the cuffs attached to the chain. He knew how that drove you fucking mad and blazed a trail with his chin and lips across your collarbone and shoulder without actually kissing you. Your arms straight down, hands near your ass.

You gasped out loud this time; an insufferable moan left your mouth. The collar tightened when the sound escaped your lips. Klaus laughed. His gin soaked breath filled your nostrils briefly before you were yanked to your knees. His hands twisted up in the back of your head once more and he held it tight while he freed himself from the pants.

Klaus sat down in the chair with his legs spread enough to maneuver you between them. You knew he used his spare hand to hold his stiff cock in place as he tugged your head forward towards it. The tip lost in your cleavage.

“I have to give you credit. Letting me tit fuck you was such a thrill. It's so tight in here, reminds me of your cunt. Then you can swallow my dick until I cum,” there was a shrug to his tone now.

Still he began to thrust his erection back and for in your tits. Klaus’s hips lifted off the chair to connect with your chest. He anchored himself with you and kept going. You could feel the head of his cock hit your neck, slick with his own fluid. He started to growl under his breath the faster he bucked and squirmed. Your sex reacting without thought with a notable swell.

“The tits are so fuckable,” he writhed. Looks like The Prophet had a new favorite type of foreplay.

Suddenly Klaus switched on you. “Open your mouth,” he commanded as your head was wrenched forward.

You complied, and Klaus shoved his cock so deep in your mouth it hit the back of your throat. You gagged momentarily and he cried out in ecstasy. You let your throat do it again.

“Keep doing that,” he pushed you onto him even further if that was possible.

Then Klaus pushed you up and back. His hands forced your mouth to do what it could on its own. You bobbed up and down on the shaft, wrapping your tongue around it on the process. His grip slackened so he could caress you instead.

“Like that. Now lick it and just the head.”

Again you kept repeating the instructions. Your jaw hurt and muscles began to ache, but you knew The Prophet’s cues by now. One more deep-throated constriction and..

Klaus exploded in your mouth. The salty liquid hit you and you swallowed only some. The rest you held knowing what would happen if you spit it out. So the moment he let you sit back, you assumed so he could adjust himself for another round, you turned your head and spit.

“Did you just fucking spit when I told you I was going to make you swallow my cum?” his question bordered on furious. A finger hooked through a loop in the collar and he heaved you up off the floor so you stood. Your body marveled at his strength. Your sex reacted accordingly.

“Just when I thought she knew how to behave, the little chicken showed her true self. Get on the chair and bend over my lap. Ass up, face down on the arm.”

Cautious to hide your eagerness, you did your best with your hands chained. Still you managed and bent over Klaus. The velvet soft under your knees and face resting into it. Your sex pressed against his cock as it stiffened a second time.

There was a brief moment of self confidence that you managed to hide the blindness made you nervous. You had a general idea most of this evening where Klaus was positioned or coming from, but it was that uncertainty that slicked you with wetness. The anticipation of his next move. The ultimate trust in someone who literally fell out of the sky.

Now that move was Klaus leaning over then a sensation of smooth wood on your bare ass. The other hand tangled itself up in the chain along your back. Tightened just a bit so the collar did the same. Another gasp for air and Klaus’s erection poked into you, strained against your pubic hair.

“You broke the rules by spitting,” the paddle came down on your ass several times. “You broke the rules by laughing at me earlier,” words punctuated by the delicious sting at every other word. “And you broke,” this time he took the edge of the paddle and swiped it between your legs. Delved between your folds to hit your clit just right. It wasn't rough, but it was enough so you understood.

“MY TRUST!” now Klaus bellowed. A hard paddle to your ass and the back of your thighs. Had no longer choked the chain. Instead he pinched your nipples alternately as he punished you.

Klaus brought the paddle down harder still several more times. The force of it pushed you down onto his cock. He thrust a bit up at the motion so your hips came together and apart. It was doing something to you besides making your legs go weak. You ached and throbbed in your cunt, longed to be penetrated. It wouldn't come for now.

“I'll give you a chance to apologize,” now Klaus let go of your tits and pulled you by the chain so your back curved. Your face off the arm of the chair. “Turn in my direction when I'm talking!” Paddle collided with your tender skin.

You moved best you could towards Klaus’s chest, “I'm sorry Prophet.”

“For?” Paddle gone, he gripped a handful of your ass and dug in.

Sharp intake of surprise breath. You rolled into his cock. “Gossiping, Prophet.”

“I can't hear you,” open-handed slap. “Red is definitely your color.”

“FOR GOSSIPING, PROPHET!” you cried out loudly.

“Fine,” indifference in his voice, but his cock said otherwise. “My arm is tired. I want you to fuck my thigh.”

You stumbled and nearly fell as you got off the chair. Your legs waived with chemicals from the paddle and prior orgasm. Now you managed towards Klaus’s lap, straddled his leg and sat astride. You situated your cunt on his thigh and started to ride him in earnest.

You found it difficult to balance as you undulated yourself back and forth. Balance off slightly until Klaus held you steady. Helped you rock powerfully into him. The friction and heat from his body drove you insane as you rode with abandon. You were already swollen as you ground as hard and fast as you could. Klaus’s hands, spread out over your back. His fingers ensnared by the chain.

“That cunt of yours is so fucking wet, like you're sliding on ice. Careful your clit doesn't burst just yet,” he teased.

Then without warning an incredible hard crack to the ass and it was too late. You shuddered violently and screamed out as you rolled yourself through the orgasm. Breasts heaved as you struggled to catch your breath.

“I'd be disappointed,” Klaus’s mouth close to your neck and collarbone once more. Facial hair just touched the surface of your skin as he held you down. “But wait until I tell the other Children how she loves being disciplined.”

Then you were on your feet so Klaus could probe you. He played with your clit to elicit another orgasm. That sting of a hand to your skin forced another explosion.

You collapsed into his chest but instead of catching you, he simply started to undo the cuffs and chain. He turned it around expertly and wrapped your hands up around front. Handcuffs locked, forearms together which he tied together and hooked into the collar. Your arms tight to your chest.

“Now get up. You're gonna get fucked.”

Then Klaus did something that both shocked you and turned you on. Where the strength came from you still don't know, but everything about him was otherworldly. The rush of him lifting you off the floor to throw you over his shoulder was powerful. The quick sting of exquisite torture that you just weren't sick of yet followed by that infectious laugh signaled his demeanor changed entirely.

“I can't believe you've fucking kept up,” he tossed you on the bed.

He rolled you face down, cuffs undone and arms forward so he could lock them to a headboard. “There's no one else who could. They can barely manage orgies. Ought to give my sex swing a go next time” Klaus mumbled and climbed up behind you, your hips and ass lifted skyward.

The head of his cock teased the crack of your ass, which he spanked as a reminder. Klaus tested your trust by slipping just a bit inside that space where no one was ever allowed. You cried out but not in pleasure as he tried.

You never thought it would happen, but you just weren't ready. “Um.. Spice Girls?” It was a question muffled by a pillow.

Klaus stopped, “Excuse me?”

“SPICE GIRLS!”

“I thought as much. Can’t ever know till you try to fuck someone’s ass.”

Then wordlessly Klaus plowed into your ever-slick cunt. His hips hit your ass and filled you to the hilt. Over and over he pounded you with a furious speed. Periodically slapping you with such extreme force that the pillow encompassed your face.

“This hot, tight cunt fits my cock so well. Fucking snug and able to take all of me.”

Klaus grabbed your hair and bent your neck back as he kept at it. Welcomed pain deep inside from his cock practically inside your stomach, or so it felt. Suddenly he pulled out and came on your back and ass, warm and sticky all over your raw and bruising skin.

Later: the two of you with arms and legs tangled up together. You snuggled into Klaus’s chest, a sweetness as your mouths meshed. His hands soft as they ran over you after having applied a cooling lotion to your welts and funny enough, bent to kiss them tenderly.

“Next time, Prophet-”

“Klaus.”

“Right,” you smiled. “Next time it's my turn, and I THINK you're gonna get pegged.”

Klaus leapt out of the bed with almost childlike glee. “I'll show you how to wear it.”

[acdeaky]

are you ready for love?

warning: fluff, alcohol consumption, strong language, slight angst?

note: congrats on 4k followers @writingfortoomanyfandoms​​ ! i began writing this and then fell out of love with it, but i (finally) figured out the ending and fell back in love! enjoy!

word count: 4.5k

black lives matter

“what I'm saying is - and this is not a come on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way!” dan spoke, a little too loudly for the restaurant the group was in, trying to voice his (very out-of-date) opinion above the rest of the group. he was met with a lot of voices arguing he was wrong, and a fry from shane’s plate. “what?” he practically whined. 

“just because you want to shag any girl you're friends with, and who doesn't have a boyfriend, doesn't mean that every guy is the same!” harry perked up, practically punching dan in the arm after his comment. 

“it so means every guy is the same,” dan argued, looking over at you. “you and ben are only close because he wants to get in your pants.”

“why did we let him join?” you asked everyone else, basically pretending that dan wasn't sat a few seats away from you. 

“because he's my brother and has no other friends.” erin replied from next to you, a hand resting on your thigh which was pressed against her’s.

“that is not true.”

“oh, dan, sweetie, it is.” erin just smiled sarcastically at her brother, her eyes showing faux sympathy. 

“you all know i’m right, but you don't want to say it,” another chorus of disagreement came from the group, as did another fry from shane’s plate. “mate, would you stop that?” shane just shook his head, wrapping his arm around the back of renee’s chair and lightly brushed his fingers against your shoulder. next to ben, you were definitely closest to shane with him being like a big brother to you. 

somehow, the rest of the meal went without a hitch. dan quieted down with the unpopular opinions and everyone else enjoyed each other’s company as they finished their meals and had a few drinks afterwards. shane and renee were the first ones to leave. both of them had had long days at work, but made it out for the meal, and were now more than ready to collapse into their bed. harry and erin were next. as they paid their part and begun to leave, they dragged dan out with them, keeping him from saying something inappropriate to you and/or lucy. 

after those three left, you and lucy stayed a little longer. it had been a while since the two of you had hung out together alone, and a catchup with definitely needed. 

“so what’s the real reason ben didn’t come tonight? he's definitely not ill else you would be there nursing him back to health.” she teased, giving you a light prod to your side. 

“he didn't want to have to deal with comments from dan,” you stated plainly. “and i’m glad ben didn’t come else he would have had to deal with exactly what he didn't want to deal with.”

“yeh, that's fair. maybe we should stop inviting dan to these things.”

“maybe,” you both giggled, thinking of how much more civilised somethings would be without him. “that's too mean, though. erin would not be happy.” 

“she most definitely wouldn't be, but dan’s a dickhead.”

“oh, yeh.” the two of you sat gigging for a little longer, the few drinks the both of you had had making their way completely into your system. after chatting for a little longer (and realising you should both definitely go home), you paid the rest of the bill and left, still chatting as you got into your car, travelling back to your same apartment building.

the ride home wasn't long. luckily, the group had mutually decided on a restaurant that was close to both of your apartments, meaning it only took about ten minutes to get home. the traffic was light and it seemed that every light turned green just in time for you. sooner than you knew, you were heading out of the garage of the apartment building, heading towards the lift and pressing the ninth floor button for lucy and the tenth floor button for you. as you reached her floor, you shared a slightly emotional goodbye with each other. it took exactly 23 seconds to get from the lift to your apartment (you had counted many times) and as you swung the door open, there was ben, sat idly on your sofa with his feet up and netflix playing on the TV. 

“hello, wanderer.” he teased as he heard you pull off your shoes and collapse onto the sofa next to him. “did you have fun? was dan a dick?”

“when is dan not a dick?” you only replied, pulling your knees closer to your chest as you turned your body into ben’s. one of his hands lifted off of his thigh for you to do so, landing back down on your knee. 

“that's true. what did he say this time?”

“that men and women can't be friends because the sex part gets in the way.”

“well that's not true, look at us!” ben said, his eyes quickly flitting to you and then straight back to the TV. 

“yeh, look at us.” 

“you are woman, i am man. we no sex.” he spoke in a deeper voice, making you giggle at his ridiculous impression of a caveman. 

“i’m just glad you weren't there; another comment from him would have sent your fist through his face.” 

“oh, yeh. but erin would not have been happy.”

“she most definitely wouldn't be.” you giggled again, thinking back to the conversation you had had with lucy. “i’m actually so tired, i think i’m just calling it a night. you stay as long as you like” as you got up, you pointed to ben, giving him a look which said ‘keep it down’ which he replied with a salute. you gave the other a quiet ‘night’ before placing a kiss on his cheek and dragging your feet to your bedroom. 

as you got ready for bed, you couldnt help but think back to what dan had said. if you told erin and lucy (or even ben) that you were contemplating his words, they would have told you to stop and say that ‘dan was just being dan. he didn't mean it’. you just couldn’t help thinking about whether it was true. of course, you were close to shane and harry, but they both had girlfriends, they definitely wouldn't want anything to do with what’s in your pants. but you were also close to ben, and he didn't have a girlfriend. the only explanation for you two being close was that he wanted what was in your pants, not in your head nor your heart. 

it pained you to think of that; ben being here only to try it on. of course, ben was attractive and had sex appeal, but he was also your best friend and you weren't about to jump in to bed with him at the first chance. you have never, and will never, go about relationships like that. to you, it was unbelievable how much you let dan’s comment cloud your mind, yet you almost hoped there was some truth to it. 

only a wall away, ben was sat thinking the exact same thing. the show he was binging was still playing in the background, but in the forefront of his mind was dan’s comment. ben knew men and women could be friends without sex getting involved; he had those relationships with all the girls in the group, except her. although he wouldn't openly admit it to anyone, he had developed feelings, but didn't want to ruin what the two had by trying it on with her. so ben sat back and tried to let his feelings settle. that instantly failed when he continued to hang out with her almost everyday and talk to her everyday. it didn't take him long to realise he was in love. 

ben didn't stay for much longer; his eyes were being to strain to properly see the TV and dan's comment was still lingering in his thoughts. he quietly turned off the TV and left the room, practically tiptoeing past your room as he entered the guest room (which was almost his considering how often he slept in it). all he did was slip out of his jeans, jumper and socks, leaving on his boxers and slid into bed. just like you, it didn't take him long to fall asleep, soon drifting off nestled within the comfy sheets and only imagining what it would be like to hold you in his arms. 

in the morning, ben woke up before you (like usual) and set himself the task of making breakfast. he knew you'd be hungry this morning and, as soon as he got out of bed and put on a pair of shorts, he made his way into the kitchen and began making his famous pancakes. it didn't take long for you to wake up nor did it take long for you to smell the pancakes. 

“morning, chef.” you smiled lazily as you walked into the kitchen. 

“morning to you, too.” like usual in a morning, ben was clad in some shorts and a plain t-shirt as he stood in front of the hob. the teapot had already been filled and there was a half empty cup stood on the side next to the hob. “sleep well?”

“yeh, i guess.” ‘don't tell him’ you thought to yourself. “i just couldn't stop thinking about dan's comment last night.” 

“love, i've told you before to take no notice of him-”

“no, ben, he said something else last night. not just the men and women and sex thing.”

“well, what else did he say?” he asked, less annoyed this time, switching off the ring and giving you his full attention.

“he said that you and i are only close because you want to get into my pants.” although he asked you to tell him (and you would have told him anyway), you couldn’t help but feel ashamed at telling ben. you knew he would be mad that you let something dan said cloud your judgement about him, but you also knew that he would deny it. you wished he wouldn’t.

“you know that’s not true, right?” there it was. “you know i would never do that to you, or anyone for that matter. don’t let him get into your head; he’s a dick.”

“yeh, course.” you mumbled as ben turned back to the pan, flipping out the pancake onto a plate. as both of you ate, you sat talking about anything and everything. you were content just being here with ben, and yet you still couldn’t get those thoughts out of your head.

to ben, all you would be is his best friend; he made that perfectly clear last night and this morning. to you, your feelings would always be there, making it unfair on anyone else you dated. your heart was wrapped around ben indefinitely.

after breakfast was finished and the kitchen was tidy, you said your goodbyes to ben (even though you don’t normally kick him out this early), making up a lie about finishing off some things for work. what you really wanted to do was talk to erin and lucy; you needed to empty your head to someone.

“hey, you guys are okay to chat, right?” you asked as soon as the facetime connected to the both of them.

“yeh, of course!” “i’ve got my wine, i’m ready.” they both replied, supportive smiles already on their faces.

“okay, i’m sorry i’m bringing this up again, but i’m still thinking about dan’s comment last night.”

“which one?” erin giggled, taking a sip of her wine.

“the one about ben only being close to me because he wants to get in my pants.”

“that’s not true.”

“it’s true.”

“what?” you and erin asked lucy, who sat with a slight smirk on her face.

“ben does want to get into your pants, but not as a one time fling or being friends with benefits, he really likes you.”

“he does?”

“yeh,” both you and erin looked at each other, pure shock coming over your face and slight shock on erin’s. “he got drunk with the lads one night and came to my place instead of yours-”

“makes sense,” erin perked up, taking another sip of her wine. “your apartment is literally a floor below Y/N’s.”

“exactly; he miscounted the floor numbers and came to my door. he kept on apologising so i let him in and he just ranted about dan saying stupid things again about the two of you. then he spilt his feelings and almost broke down asking me not to say anything. i told him he should go to your place and tell you himself. he said he would and i assumed he did, but obviously-”

“he didn’t. that night he came up to my apartment and basically passed out on the sofa. i pulled his shoes off and left him a glass of water and some painkillers for the morning. that was it; he didn't really say anything at all until the next morning.” you frowned, thinking at how literally minutes before ben stumbled into your apartment, he'd stumbled out of lucy’s. 

“wow, well i knew benny boy had feelings, but i didn’t know he did that.” erin said, turning and making sure harry hadn't heard any of that conversation. 

“no one knew, i kept ben’s drunk escapade a secret. he couldn’t even remember it happening.” after that, all three of you were slightly stunned into silence. it was a minute before anyone spoke. 

“what are you gonna do?” erin’s voice was small, something that isn't normal for her. her wine glass had been discarded (though half empty) and she and lucy were both looking at you. you knew your face hadn't change. even without looking at your screen, you knew the only look on your face was disbelief. 

“i-i don't know.”

“surely you're gonna do something?” lucy gasped. 

“and say what to him? ‘hey, ben. i've just been chatting to our good friend lucy and it turns out you drunkenly told her about your feelings for me’. i’m not good with confrontation!”

“and that's why you two will never be together!” erin chuckled, shaking her head at you. 

“what do you mean?

“i mean, you're scared of confrontation and ben will never admit his feelings for you because he's scared you’ll reject him.”

“but i wouldn’t-”

“he doesn’t know that.” she was right. ben doesn’t know what you're thinking, and you don't know what he's thinking. right now, the only way to get over the situation is if you say something. yet, you couldn't help but think that ben’s drunken confession was just that: drunken and stupid.

“i need some time to think, girls.”

“okay.” 

“just keep us in the loop, yeh?” lucy asked, pity absolutely drowning her face. 

“will do, bye.” you waved as did lucy and erin, saying their own goodbyes before you ended the call. 

this had changed everything. of course it had. you definitely didn't feel the same way you did before the call, and you definitely didn't feel the same way about ben as you did before the call. you couldn’t help but think if this had changed things, if this had given you the confidence to finally tell ben about how you feel. 

it was something to sleep on, something to cloud your thoughts for another night. 

but you didn’t get the chance to do that. before you had even managed to settle down for the night, there was a loud, and brash, knock at your door. the thought of ignoring them crossed your mind, hoping it would be a drunken fool who had stumbled across the wrong apartment.

yet, no matter how long you stayed laying on your back, staring at the blank canvas of your ceiling, the knocking did not cease. with a grumble, you made your way through your apartment and towards the front door, not bothering to switch on any of the lights on your way.

as soon as your door was open, whoever was on the other side flung themselves inside, stumbling as they attempted to pull off their shoes. you couldn’t even see who the person was, the low light of the hallway doing little to help you figure out who the intruder was.

and, just as you were about to speak up, the person spoke - though it was more of a grumble - and said, “luce, i’m sorry for doin’ this again.” ben. his voice was slurred and his actions were full of haste. the way he threw his shoes to the side and his jacket on to the floor made you realise he truly thought he was on the floor below; everywhere he was throwing things were where lucy had furniture.

then you realised something else; it was happening again. that night lucy had told you about, with ben drinking with the lads, had happened again. though, you weren’t sure if he was drinking alone or not, but whatever had happened to ben had made him feel the need to see lucy, before anything.

“i know it’s prob’ly late, but i can’t stop thinking about her and you’re the only person who knows how i feel.” came ben’s mumbling voice again. he sounded weak, vulnerable, something you’d never heard in any tone of his voice before. well, there were some exceptions, but this voice, this tone, was something else. and it scared you.

but you stayed quiet, waiting for ben to either say something again or... something else to happen, like a meteor hitting the earth, to save the both of you from this conversation.

“fuck, you moved things around in here?” he grumbled, walking around to find something to grip onto or sit on.

your head was screaming to say something, to reply and end whatever this was, yet your heart was screaming to save yourself the heartache (from what, you didn’t know).

it wasn’t until ben managed to find a lightswitch that your heart began to race even faster than before. you were met with his disheveled look, his boots haphazardly pulled off and scattered across your floor and his jacket thrown carelessly across the wood of your dining table mismatched his reddening eyes and mess of his hair.

and, as if time was frozen, ben stood against the wall of your apartment, his eyes as wide as ever and his heart thumping against the case of his chest. you were no better; at least you knew who had stumbled into your apartment, but ben was in shock. because it was you. of course it was you, who else could make ben’s heart beat as fast as you could?

which is why ben stood still, acting as if he stayed deadly still, the predator before him would ignore his very existence. but the elephant was in the room, and you could not ignore the existence of that.

“ben,” you whispered, your voice stretching out to fill the gap between your bodies. instead, it died upon it’s journey, failing to reach the only person who mattered to you at that minute. “ben, it’s okay: i know.”

that didn’t settle his nerves. the only things those two words did was set his heart racing faster and he felt like his world was collapsing in on himself.

“no,” he shook his head, finally pulling his eyes away from your glance, turning his back towards you as his hands made his hair even more of a mess. “no, it’s not okay.”

but it was. it was more than okay because somewhere between ben stumbling through your door and this moment right now, you had found the courage to tell him that you knew, that you felt the same, this it was okay.

taking advantage of his back facing you, you stepped over to him carefully. at first, you were unsure of your movements, letting your hands linger in the air just above ben’s back before you took the final step and pressed them against his t-shirt-covered skin. the muscles in his back tensed and tightened, but he quickly let the warmth and welcoming feeling of you relax him.

only then did you become more confident, letting your hands move lightly over his back, mapping every bump and dimple they found. you ventured down to ben’s hips, covering the skin of his sides before settling around his front on his stomach.

“it’s okay, ben.” you said once again, your voice falling into a quiet whisper next to the shell of his ear as your chin rested on his shoulder. both of hands met yours. they were warm and fit comfortably between yours, something you had always imagined.

“how do you know?” he tested the waters, only letting his voice be loud enough for you to hear, like this was your little secret. you weren’t sure if ben was asking how you knew how he felt or how things would be okay, but you chose the former.

“lucy told me,” you replied in an equal tone, moving your head from his shoulder to press against his back, just between his shoulder blades. “she told me about that night you went to her apartment after you had been out with the boys: she told me how you felt about me.”

“and?” he said soon after, not wanting to wait any longer for a response that could change his life.

“ben, you mean the world to me, and i was always afraid that if we began a relationship, it could ruin our friendship. but i’m not afraid of that anymore, and i just want what i want: you.”

ben had never felt so sober. he had begun the night alone and, somehow, ended it in your arms; one of the places he didn’t think he’d be for a while.

his thumb began tracing small circles on the back of your hand, letting himself know that this was real and this was happening. it also grounded you. it gave you something to focus on when you needed it. but you didn’t want it to be that; you wanted it to be something that happens regularly and often. now, that might happen.

reluctantly, you pulled your hands from his, taking your arms away from his body as you circled around him. once his face met yours, neither of you could hold in the tiny smile which threatened to appear at the corner of your lips. god, you could only imagine what his lips felt like, what they tasted like. and you imagined that they felt like silk.

your hands quickly found purchase on ben’s body once again. this time, you traced the outline of his face, allowing yourself to take your time as you moved along his jawline. as one hand did that, the other tangled it’s fingers into the hair on the nape of his neck - something that he was growing out for a role, but you enjoyed it regardless.

ben was so overwhelmed, the only place he could find to anchor himself to you were your hips. he squeezed and pressed the skin lightly, wanting to live in the moment as much as he could, just in case you slipped through his fingertips, like silk does.

you can’t help but notice that you’ve never seen him like this before, so vulnerable and open to you and your touch. of course, you had touched each other before, but not with the softness and meaning like now.

“i want you, too,” ben finally whispered, never letting his gaze falter from you. his hands seemed to grip your hips a little harder as your hands slid down from his head and onto his shoulders. “that’s all i’ve wanted since i met you.”

just then, you pushed yourself onto the balls of your feet, managing to slightly close the gap between you and ben as his head bowed lower, too. your lips met like a perfect melody, so soft and gentle and better than you could have ever imagined.

slowly, and once again, your hands traced their way up ben’s skin, circling around his neck before toying with those little hairs you had suddenly become so fond of. and, as a response, ben’s hands shifted from your hips to your lower back quicker than you could register, pushing and pulling your body flush with his own.

his hands were warm and big and better than you could have imagined. they were strong, keeping the two of you together in perfect harmony as you explored the other’s touch after so, so long.

but, then ben pulled away, keeping you pressed against his chest while looking down at you, your lips swollen and red and, god, so beautiful. he only smiled, pulling away to grab your hand a second later.

he was your personal guide through your home, taking you towards your bedroom (only after turning off the light he switched on earlier). as soon as you got in the room, ben let you go, turning to close the door as you stood waiting for him; you almost felt like a stranger, standing there in your own room with no feeling of anything but ben.

once the door clicked shut, he turned his attention back to you. while he walked forward, you stumbled backwards, only stopping when the back of your knees hit the side of your bed.

“get in,” he spoke gently, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. “i’ll be there in a second.” and so you did. since you were already about to settle down for the night when ben knocked on the door, you just sat underneath the covers again.

seeing the cast of ben’s shadow on your walls from the beaming moon was a sight you knew you would never tire of. the way he moved gracefully as he pulled off his shirt and jeans, leaving on only his boxers and turning back to you.

he was a ghost striding towards you. a vision as his body drifted towards you, so bright and beautiful under the moon, so quiet as he slipped under the covers to lay next to you; his arms open and welcoming.

so you accepted, letting yourself have this, this moment, with ben. you found yourself tucked into his side, one arm dragged across his torso with your head on his chest. his left arm wrapped itself around your shoulders, his right arm laying adjacent to yours, letting your fingertips touch and ghost along one another.

you stayed there, for a minute or two, just getting used to each other’s rise and fall of your chests and the dips and bumps of each other’s skin. neither of you had felt more at peace than in that moment.

and as you lay there in ben’s arms, the steady beating in his heart right below your ear and finally feeling content, you knew that you were ready for love.

-

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[eddieeatsass]

ok but like a hanzier propsal fic please? i just need one in my life and im really going down cause i can't find any. ( also smut in it if you're feeling generous hehe )

I’m sorry it took longer than expected to get this to you, life got in the way! But I had so much fun writing this, thank you for the prompt.

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Richie and Mike were an anomaly. A peculiar match that shocked everyone as much as it shocked them themselves. They moved as a unit, despite being so vastly different in all other capacities. Their love is what stitched them together, made them immovable, a constant in everyone’s lives.

They’d gotten together at an early age, the pull between them impossible to ignore. While the rest of the Losers were exploring their hearts, Mike and Richie spent their nights curled up together in the fields at Mike’s farm, watching the stars and making wishes on the ones that shot by.

So, it wasn’t a surprise to anyone when they got engaged. Everyone has seen it coming from a mile away. At 25, the pair had been together for nearly 9 years, a decade approaching at light speed to wrap up their adoration for each other in a pretty little bow.

They’d been talking about marriage since they were teenagers, young and naive to the realities of the world outside of high school. They’d thought they could get hitched as soon as they were out of school, settle down in a big house with three dogs, and call it a day. Unfortunately, life had other plans. Finances and secondary education snuck up on them quickly, pulling the wool off their eyes and exposing sensitive nerves to adult life. They adapted, but not without having to make some adjustments to their original plan. A big house became a small off-campus apartment, which they had to share with Stan and Bill just to make rent. Three dogs became one goldfish, which Richie adamantly insisted they name “Spot”. And getting married got put on the back burner, a dream for another time. A time when they weren’t buried in student loans, homework, and minimum wage jobs.

While it wasn’t a surprise to anyone that they got engaged, how they got engaged was a story in itself.

Mike had always been the level-headed part of the twosome, balancing out Richie’s grand imagination and impulsive nature. So, when he decided he wanted to propose, he had to start thinking like his boyfriend. A proposal to Richie couldn’t simply be “level-headed”, it had to match how wild and loud and full of life he was. Mike had mulled over ideas for weeks until he finally admitted he needed to recruit some help, so he went to the only other person who knew Richie as well as he did: Beverly Marsh.

Beverly was, of course, ecstatic to hear that Mike planned on proposing. But she also wasn’t shy to tell him how much his ideas sucked. A walk along the beach, a boat ride, a nature walk; they were all sweet gestures, but they weren’t as memorable as Mike wanted them to be.

Finally, after another week of discreetly texting one another, Beverly and Mike came up with a plan, and a month later he was putting it into action.

It was the 10th of July, the day that Richie had officially asked Mike to be his boyfriend all those years ago. Mike planned a weekend trip for them to visit Derry, catch up with their parents and see how much the town had changed since they’d left. Neither of them had enjoyed living there when they’d been kids but going back had a nostalgic draw that made it seem sentimental. It hadn’t been all bad; long days freckling under the sun at the Quarry, making Eddie squirm as they trudged through the mucky waters of the Barrens, muffled giggles into old books as they tried to hide from Ms. Sally’s shushing at the town’s library. And of course, it’s where they met each other. Where they fell in love.

They’d spent the earlier part of the day at the Tozier residence, visiting with Maggie and Went over brunch. Now, they were at the tail-end of dinner with the Hanlons. Will and Jessica were clearing the table when Jessica spoke up.

“Do you two have somewhere to stay tonight?”

“We were just going to grab a room at the motel down the road-” Richie began to say, before Jessica interrupted him with her tutting.

“Nonsense! Why spend money when you can stay here?”

Mike and Richie exchanged a bashful look, knowing that staying in Mike’s childhood room together with his parents right next door might not be… ideal.

Will chuckled, as if reading their minds. “We’re going out tonight, won’t be back ‘till tomorrow afternoon. We’re going swing dancing in Old Town! We’ll be staying with your aunt Mary overnight.”

Mike’s tense shoulders relaxed at the news that they’d have the house all to themselves for the night. It would make his plan go that much smoother.

Jessica brought out dessert, which Richie devoured in record time, and then they were heading out, leaving Richie and Mike to their own devices.

As Richie set off to shower, Mike checked his watch for the umpteenth time that evening, watching the time closely to make sure he followed his schedule down to the minute. Richie’s shower made them a smidge late, but Mike schooled his features to hide his worry so Richie wouldn’t suspect anything.

“Heya hot stuff.” Mike greeted Richie as he strolled out of the bathroom with steam billowing behind him. He had one towel loosely thrown around his hips and was ruffling up his hair with another. Mike got up from his perch on his bed and strolled towards Richie, meeting him in the middle of the room. He grabbed Richie by the hips and pulled him in for a soft kiss.

“Mmm, hi.” Richie whispered against Mike’s lips, a smile curling under the attention.

With a second kiss to Richie’s forehead, Mike pulled himself away.

“So, I was thinking maybe we could walk out to the field and do some stargazing, you know, like we used to.” The suggestion was casual, but Mike’s heart was beating fast. His plan depended on Richie saying yes.

“Yeah sure babe.” Richie responded as he pulled a t-shirt over his wet mop of hair and reached for his boxers. “Just let me get a little more appropriately dressed.” He winked before hopping ungracefully as he pulled on his boxers, tripping slightly but recovering with a charming smile.

Mike’s pulse relaxed immediately, his anxiety being replaced with fondness for this goofy, maladjusted boy he was soon going to propose to.

It took a few more minutes before they were off, hands clasped together as they wandered out into the seemingly never-ending field of the Hanlon’s farm. The night was beautiful, the sky completely devoid of clouds and shining bright with the dim light of the stars.

They walked for a few minutes until the house behind them became part of a separate world, and that’s when Richie saw it.

“Michael!” Richie gasped, as he spotted what was in the distance. They were walking towards a patch of grass covered with a large blanket, surrounded by four lit tiki torches.

Mike couldn’t hold back the grin that split across his face, seeing Richie’s excitement got his own going.

Richie let go of Mike’s hand to sprint the rest of the way to the set-up. When he got there, he noticed there was an abundance of pillows as well as two picnic baskets set aside. Laying down was like resting on a bed of clouds, and he instantly felt all the stress of life evaporating away under the stars.

Mike finally caught up and sat down beside Richie. He looked down at him and couldn’t help but reach a hand out and pet the hair back from Richie’s forehead, letting his fingers linger on his cheek.

“Happy 9 years, my love.” He whispered.

Richie’s eyes flicked their attention to Mike, so much adoration and passion present in those blue pearls.

“Happy 9 years, Mikey.” Richie responded, lifting his hand up to Mikes and lacing their fingers together. He swiftly broke the moment by tugging on Mike’s arm and pulling him down on top of him.

Richie laughed as Mike tried not to crush Richie beneath him as he toppled over. He was still giggling as he brought their lips together, his hands already wandering down the front of Mike’s chest.

Mike had to fight to get his mind and body to comply to the plan he had set up. As much as he wanted to get lost in Richie’s arms, he couldn’t. Not yet, at least.

So, ignoring Richie’s complaintive whine, Mike rolled off him and towards the baskets he had set aside.

“I don’t want our food to get cold.” Mike used as an excuse. From the basket he procured a tray of chocolate covered strawberries, as well as two champagne flutes along with non-alcoholic champagne. Neither of them really drank, and besides, he wanted to be as lucid as possible for what was about to happen.

He passed the plate off to Richie who grabbed it eagerly, tearing the saran wrap off unceremoniously and beginning his search for the perfect strawberry. Mike poured them both some champagne, taking the time to check his watch again. Eight minutes until the big moment. He took a deep breath before putting the champagne aside and turning back to Richie.

“I found the best one.” Richie exclaimed happily, holding up the biggest strawberry in the pile. It was coated nearly perfectly in chocolate, save for the green stem Richie was holding it by.

“C’mere.” Richie beckoned, setting the tray beside him and scooting closer to Mike.

Mike complied, snuggling close to Richie and handing him one of the flutes.

Richie brought the strawberry up to Mike’s lips, beginning to trace them slowly with the fruit. Richie’s mouth was set tight, but Mike could tell he was trying to hold back laughter.

“Richie this doesn’t-”

“Shhhh.” Richie used the strawberry to quiet him, pressing it more firmly against his lips.

“Let me seduce you.” Richie said in a low attempt at a sultry voice.

Now Mike was also trying not to laugh, his cheeks pulled up into rosy apples as Richie continued his ministrations. Chocolate was melting against Mike’s mouth, giving him the appearance of wearing lipstick. That’s when Richie finally cracked, pulled his hand back and laughing audibly at the mess on Mike’s face.

Mike laughed along, resisting the urge to wipe his mouth right away. Instead, as he’d expected, Richie leaned in after he’d composed himself, and licked the chocolate clean. He finished by pecking Mike innocently before pulling back and finally properly feeding the strawberry to his poor boyfriend.

They continued like that for the next few minutes, laughing and talking, eating the strawberries faster than they probably should and washing down the sweetness with glorified carbonated juice.

Mike got so caught up in the moment that he almost forgot what he was there for, until the loud boom reminded him.

“Fireworks, really? The 4th of July was six days ago!” Richie complained with no real fever. Richie loved fireworks, loved the bright colors and loud noises, loved getting lost in whatever story his brain decided they were telling.

“Let’s watch.” Mike encouraged, taking Richie’s nearly empty flute from him and setting both of theirs back into the picnic basket.

When Mike turned back around, Richie was already laying on his back, his hands folded eagerly on his stomach as his eyes searched the sky for the next show.

Mike lowered himself down beside him, taking a second to memorize the look on Richie’s face at that exact moment.

Another firework exploded above them, accompanied by a quicker burst of a few more. Mike’s gaze stayed on Richie’s face, his hand reaching into his pocket to finger the little ring box he’d been carrying around all day.

Three more fireworks. Richie’s eyes were lit up both with the reflection of the lights, and with that wonder that Mike fell in love with.

Another one.

Then a succession of smaller ones.

And then...

Richie’s eyes were meeting Mike’s, wide and questioning.

Richie’s mouth gaped, words seeming to fail him for the first time in his life.

Above them, the fireworks were quickly disappearing, the fiery words “Richie, Will You Marry Me?” fading into the night’s sky.

“So?” Mike took a deep breath, rolling over on to his side to fully face Richie. His hand pulled the small box out from its confines and he held it up to Richie, popping it open to reveal a delicate gold band.

“What do you say?” Mike’s voice wavered as he waited for a sigh.

“What the fuck.” Richie blurted out, before he started sobbing.

Mike faltered quickly, letting the ring box drop as he prioritized pulling Richie close to his chest.

“Baby, baby I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry, I’m sorry I-”

A vibration against his chest cut him off. He had to pull away slightly so he could decipher Richie’s words.

“You ruined my plan.” Richie blubbered out again, his tears now juxtaposed by a huge smile that he was trying to disguise as a pout. Mike felt his composure relax. Richie continued without being prompted. “I was going t-to propose next w-weekend.” Richie explained between splutters.

It was Mike’s turn to be speechless now.

“But of course, Mike Hanlon, always the romantic, has to do it on our fucking anniversary.” Richie’s tears were slowing down now, his usual demeanor coming back. “Now I’ll have to see if I can get my deposit back on the horse.”

“Horse…?”

“And I’ll have to call the bakery and cancel the cake order, hopefully the band will be able to find another gig on such short notice, Eddie and Bill are definitely going to have to return their costumes, and-”

“Baby, honey, slow down.” Mike’s gentle hands were cupping Richie’s face, forcing him to meet his gaze.

Richie stopped immediately, closing his eyes and forcing himself to take a deep breath. When his eyes re-opened, they were teary again. “Can I at least say it?”

Mike’s heart felt like it would burst, his love for Richie so palpable in that moment.

“Of course.”

Richie cleared his throat and wiped his eyes as he stood up. He dramatically shook his limbs out one by one, cracking his neck side to side, and then turned back around to face Mike.

“Michael Hanlon. Michael the bicycle. Love of my life. Hopefully one day, bearer of my children. My best friend. My compadre. My-”

“Richie.” Mike cut him off with a laugh.

“Right, right. Sorry. Mike…” Richie got down on one knee, taking Mike’s hand between his own. “Will you marry me?”

Mike’s grin could have rivalled the sun. “Yes. Yesyesyes yes.” Mike rushed out.

“AND THERE WE HAVE IT FOLKS,” Richie let go of Mike’s hand and swiveled on his knees as if to address an invisible audience. He lifted both his hands in triumph. “DERRY’S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELORS ARE OFFICIALLY OFF THE MARKET FOR GOOD.”

Mike rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around Richie’s torso and pulling him backwards. Richie came crashing down with an eruption of laughter, mixing along with Mike’s own. Mike didn’t waste any time beginning to pepper kisses down Richie’s neck, using his position to pull Richie flush against his chest.

Things heated up quickly. Kisses became more passionate, clothes were shed, and soon the two were left naked under the stars, the kindness of July keeping them warm and the flickering from the tiki torches lighting their hands’ paths. It wasn’t long before Richie was aching for more.

“Mikey…” Richie canted his hips upwards, ushering Mike’s hand, which was gripped around his cock, to move faster.

“Hold on baby, I’ve got you.” Mike twisted his body around uncomfortably to reach for the second picnic basket he’d packed. He opened it up with his free hand, his busy one never ceasing its job, and grabbed for the bottle of lube he’d packed.

The familiar sound of the cap popping open made Richie’s cock twitch.

“Oh my god, you really think of everything, don’t you.” Richie said excitedly.

“One of us has to.” Mike winked.

Richie spread his legs eagerly before Mike even had the chance to pour lube on to his fingers. The anticipation on Richie’s face egged him to move faster, his own eagerness becoming evident.

As Mike poured out a generous amount of the slick liquid into his hand, Richie grabbed one of the extra pillows and tucked it under his lower back, propping himself up on display. Mike nearly salivated at the view, never quite having gotten used to seeing Richie spread out, no matter how many times they did this.

Mike brought his lubricated hand up to Richie’s hole, circling a finger around the puckered muscle, teasing Richie before slipping his digit inside smoothly.

They’d fooled around only a few hours ago, stopping on the side of the road on their drive to Mike’s farm and squeezing into the back seat. Mike had fucked Richie until he’d cried, fingers desperately grabbing at the seats around him for some kind of leverage to ground himself. Richie came all over his shirt, causing them to have to dig their suitcases out of the trunk and wrestle out a clean one for him to change into.

Richie was still deliciously stretched from their afternoon activities, letting Mike slip in a second finger after only a few moments.

“You’re so beautiful like this, laid out bare for me…” Mike praised Richie who was breathing heavily beneath him.

Richie didn’t answer, just pushed his hips towards Mike to get his fingers as deep as possible. Mike found Richie’s prostate and stroked it lightly, eliciting a gorgeous moan.

“You can be as loud as you want.” Mike said, rubbing Richie’s prostate a little harder. “No one will hear you out here.”

It came out as a promise, assurance that he’d get Richie to the point where he couldn’t stay silent even if he tried. It sent goosebumps down Richie’s body.

A third finger was added, the stretch familiar and gentle. Richie felt warm, both from Mike’s body heat and desire kindling inside. They continued like that for a few more minutes, Mike pumping his hand steadily, teasing Richie’s prostate every time he thrust upwards. It was tantalizing.

“Please, Mikey…” Richie pleaded when it finally got to be too much. Mike pulled his hand away, watching Richie’s hole flutter around nothing. It was so pretty he took a moment to lean down and kiss it. Richie gasped at the unexpected contact, grinding his hips down against Mike’s face. Mike indulged him, kissing it with dirty flicks of his tongue. When he pulled away his face shone with lube.

“I could spend all night eating you out,” Mike stated, grabbing the lube and squirting a little extra into his hand. “but right now, I’d rather do this.” He rubbed the excess lube across his cock, coating it generously before lining himself up with Richie’s hole. He wasted no time before pushing in, shivering as the tightness enveloped him.

“Fuuuuuck-” Richie groaned wantonly.

Mike bottomed out, shifting his gaze from where they were connected and following the planes of Richie’s torso until their eyes met. Richie had his lower lip tucked between his teeth, as if trying to hold himself back, but upon meeting Mike’s gaze he let it drop.

“I can’t wait to be your husband.” Richie said sincerely.

“Me neither.” Mike smile tenderly. “But I am glad I get to show you off as my fiancé for a while.”

They both laughed, the movement jostling Mike inside Richie and reminding them of their current situation.

Mike pulled out slowly before easing himself back in at the same pace. He kept that rhythm as he continued.

“Everyone’s going to be jealous I get to marry the most affectionate, effervescent, passionate man in the whole world.”

“I’m the one who’s lucky,” Richie panted out between slow thrusts. “Getting to marry the most open-minded, kind-hearted, and hottest guy in town.”

Mike let out a burst of laughter, letting his head drop to Richie’s chest as a blush rose to his cheeks.

“I’m farthest from the hottest. That would be-”

“You’re right, it’s definitely Bill.” Richie interrupted with a breathless giggle.

Mike drew his head back and gasped dramatically.

“I was going to say you but…” Mike pretended to contemplate it. “Yeah, Denbrough could get it.”

They shared a smile. Mike loved Richie's ability to make any moment playful, even moments when Mike was buried to the hilt within him. This charismatic man, with the imagination of a child and the whimsy to match.

Mike picked up his pace, spurred on by his adoration, set on making Richie feel as good as he possibly could. The mewls he got in response were encouraging, so he continued swiveling his hips and propelling himself deeper with every thrust.

“That feel good, baby?” Mike purred into Richie’s ear, nipping his earlobe before descending to his neck.

A litany of curses was all Richie could manage in response, feeling himself climbing towards his peak.

Soon, curses were being split up by warning attempts. “Mike- fuckfuckfuck- I’m almost- holy shit yes don’t stop- I’m going to- jesus fucking christ-”

Mike knew that he was hitting the perfect spot. He didn’t dare move, no matter how much his arms were quivering, or his legs threatened to give out. He pumped forward once, twice, three times, and then the empty field was being filled with a throaty scream.

Richie’s fingernails left crescent moons where they dug into Mike’s arms, holding on for his dear life as he felt the waves of pleasure nearly drown him.

The feeling of Richie clenching around his cock did him in. As Mike joined Richie in his climax, he forced himself to keep his eyes open, never wanting to miss a moment of watching Richie come undone. He was so beautiful; pale skin, tinted pink from exertion and nearly transparent under the moonlight, thickly rimmed glasses sitting askew on his face, cum spread across his chest and pooling into his bellybutton. He looked so fragile, so small underneath Mike’s hold. Vulnerable in a way only Mike would ever see him.

Eventually they both regained their composure along with their breath. Mike pulled out of Richie slowly, watching as his own fluid follow him out of the tight confine, leaking onto Richie’s thighs and the pillow below him. Mike wanted to clean it up, dive in with his mouth and get Richie to cum all over again, but he knew there would be time to do that later.

They did, after-all, have forever ahead of them.