#i can't go full awooga at work but i want to

[muwitch]

i love how we are just collectively neuron activated after seeing mecha gort

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

what would make yves and montgomery go crazy? crazy in the sense of awooga wowowoa sexy hot and bothered yknow what i mean??? i bet it would take a lot to rile yves up but i would like to as a precursor to the tooth rotting sweetness of his love making! - 🌷

Tw: discussion about sex, dubcon

Montgomery is a horndog, he gets horny just about anything and would paw at you to get some juicy pussy, dick or nonbinary genitals. Just bat your eyelash or lack there of and there's already a banana in his pants. If you're dominant enough, stick a finger up his ass and he's going to cum buckets instantly, whimpering and crying on the ground.

It does depend if you're a dom or sub. If you're like the reader depicted in It Was Only Supposed to Be a One Night Stand series, he would act more like an obedient dog that is desperate for a release, yet sob in agony when he's overstimulated. He would cling onto your arm and look up to you with big, adoring eyes.

But if you're a meeker person though, he's going to be grabby, touchy and a piece of shit who wholeheartedly believes that you're simply playing hard to get and you secretly wanted him to insist harder.

For instance, when he's spooning you from behind at night, you can feel his hard member pressing up your ass. The only barrier between his dick and your hole are clothes. Montgomery would slide his hands down your pants and fondle you until he eventually falls asleep. Your 'no' means 'yes please, take me now and don't stop' at worst, 'definitely later' at best.

If you don't like penetrative sex, he's more than happy to use his tongue. For a tall guy, he sure loves to make himself a lot shorter, usually to your crotch level.

Even your scent gets him aroused. The only difference is that he will act upon it if you're a sub, he will wait for your touch if you're a dom.

On the other hand, You have to go through a ninja-warrior-esque obstacle course to get some from Yves. You have to technically act as the "man" for a bit, planning dates, trying to pay things out of your pocket, being extremely attentive to him and generally be super romantic. In other words, attempt in your own way to match up to what he brings to the table, have a binder full of his information, log his habits, take note of what he likes, etcetera etcetera.

Try your best to make it an elaborate surprise, but he will know about it anyway because he's Yves. The more effort you put into this wonderful gesture for Yves, the more likely he is going to initiate sex. However you're going to have to be patient, you're going to have to check yourself.

If you're too pushy and borderline coercing him to have sex with you, he's going to be upset and tell you off. All of your work would have been for nothing if he thinks you're doing this to get some dick.

If you're too passive, Yves will not reward you with lovemaking. But he will still remain the same affectionate and caring man.

His willingness to bed you will come unexpectedly, usually during times where you're kind and loving towards him without expecting anything in return. Your intent and motive matters very, very much, you can't lie about it because Yves can see right through you.

To you, it's like a random event. You cannot predict when Yves is going to indulge you in his sexual proclivities, there is no rhyme or reason to it. But if you pay close attention, it usually happens when you're doing things out of love for him or from the kindness of your heart.

It is highly unlikely he will agree to sex if you explicitly ask. It does happen, but it's rare. You still don't understand what factors control the outcome.

You could get it as much as you want only if you share the same views on sex as him. But if you truly share the same opinion, you wouldn't want to participate as much in the first place. Yves sees it as something tremendously sacred and special, it shouldn't be done too frequently lest it loses its significance.

However, if you have depraved fantasies you would want to fulfil, he will play the part and let you experience your own heaven and his personal hell once. Just once. And never again.

Overall, both have very different ideas on sex. Personally, I think Yves would be a much better candidate. He respects your space, but he expects the same respect for his boundaries in return.

If you're more sexually charged though, Montgomery would be a nicer fit. He never seems to run out of spunk and could go at it for days.

[cherry-velvet-skies]

Welcome back to another installment of Rating Beatle Eras By What They Looked Like! (Still kinda working on the title 😅)

Part 2: Ringo 🥰 Now our sweet bby Bongo has had many eras so let's get right into it 😁

Stormy Hurricane (Pre-Beatles Era)

Now I will say out of all the Beatles, Ringo definitely looked the best in the Teddy Era

The bit of facial hair he has paired with that sleek silver streak is totally working for him

Plus I see that he knew rings were going to be his theme from the very beginning

7/10 we're starting off pretty strong here and I hope it stays that way lol

Tough Guy Attitude (1962)

Honestly still giving Teddy Era vibes even though he looks completely different

Ringo had baby bangs before they were cool

I know the outfit is kinda basic but he looks fabulous anyway

8/10 nothing too extravagant but he's still handsome regardless

Aspiring CEO of a Hairdressing Franchise (1963-64)

The Mop Top has officially emerged

I feel like if he wasn't a musician the hairdresser thing would've totally worked out

The look is softer than the previous two eras and I feel like that suits him better

8/10 again because even though it's a simple look he still rocks it

Human Sacrifice (1965-66)

I know y'all thought this hairstyle was atrocious but I gotta be honest it's not THAT bad

Like in the Help! movie I thought he looked really cute, and in '66 his hair is the same just longer

I will agree though that the whole longer sideburns thing did very little to help this look lmao

8.5/10 and I know that's a high score but he looks adorable and I will stand by that

Master's Degree From Fashion School (1967)

No because I love this. I used to not like it but now I love it

This era didn't feel like Ringo to me at first which is why I didn't like it, but now I see how he embodies it and I'm so into it

This photo doesn't even need to be in color for me to know there are probably 17 different colors in that outfit and I fucking love that

10/10 and I also love that little pin he's wearing it's so sweet

Textbook Definition of Tareme (1968) (pls google tareme if you don't know what it means I don't know how to explain it)

RICHIEEEEE MY SWEET BABYYYYY 🥺💕

He officially entered Poor Little Meow Meow status when he looked like this and I will not accept criticism

I know I didn't choose a picture from it but the Mad Day Out photoshoot I'm- he looked so precious

1000/10 I want to hug and kiss him NOW 😤

Tumble Starker (1969)

AWOOGA (sorry)

Ringo's best era change my mind (you can't)

I know it looks super similar to the previous one but there is something different here. The last one was cute this is just sexy I mean we can't lie

37561239/10 this man could do anything he wants to me 🥴🥴🥴

500 BC Genetics (1970)

I'm- no. I'm sorry I can't.

Richie bby what were you thinking

He looks like he's wearing his hair and beard like a bicycle helmet

1/10 only because I like his outfit. The rest is unredeemable.

Jesus Impersonator (1971)

The hair is cool but I'm not liking the beard so much

His sense of style is still going strong but between the last era and this I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster

How does his hair grow so fast

5/10 I'm going right in the middle because I neither love nor hate this

Full Coverage (1972)

Well would you look at that the hair got better and the beard got worse

I swear he must secretly be one of those hair salon dolls where you press a button and their hair grows like ten inches in two seconds because HOW

I mean I'm sure it keeps his face warm so I guess that's a plus

6/10 I like it slightly more than Jesus Impersonator but not by much

That'll Be The Slay (1973)

This look had me twirling my hair and giggling like bro he's so fine omg 🥵

I usually don't like this hairstyle but it so works on him

Plus the star earrings are yoU KIDDING ME

100/10 also his character deserved SO MUCH BETTER IN THIS MOVIE I'M STILL MAD ABOUT IT 😤😤😤

Beard Redemption Arc (1974)

What a surprise the beard is back

But would you believe me if I said I liked it this time

It's like a combination of the last two eras and I think I've finally found a hair and beard combo I appreciate

7.5/10 a pretty damn good hair to beard ratio

The Rise of the Silver Streak (1975)

WE HAVE OUR FIRST DILF ERA Y'ALL

I know he had already been a Dad for several years at this point, but this is the first era to actually exude that dilf energy we all know and love

Also I know that the little silver streak in his hair can be seen in many previous eras as well but I feel like he really embraced it here idk

9/10 I'm really vibing with this one

Character Development (1976)

Why does every person who has such luscious hair have that one era where they decide to chop it all off

I mean if I remember correctly he was going through a lot during this time so maybe he just needed a drastic change or something

I do appreciate the silver streak being on FULL DISPLAY

4.5/10 not for me but I respect it

Ognir Rrats (1977-80)

I must say his fashion was on point during this time

A lot of these eras start to blend together after a while since they all look pretty similar lmao

But that doesn't mean that the quality factor goes away. He still manages to pull off most of them

8/10 and the Ognir Rrats movie lives in my brain rent free

YMCA (1981-82)

SEXY COP RINGO NATION RISE UP

Why does he look so good like this omg

I'm not even attracted to the cop uniform usually but I guess that's just the power of Ringo

9/10 this is my guilty pleasure Ringo era

*asdfmovie voice* I Like Trains (1983-86)

Even though I wasn't born yet when Ringo was the Thomas the Tank Engine narrator I somehow still remember hearing his voice when I watched it as a kid

Which is even wilder because he was the narrator for the UK version and I live in America

The conductor look does suit him though

8/10 because watching the show now and hearing him make little voices for all the different trains is top tier comedy

Commercial King (1987-88)

Ringo did more ad cameos in this era than I can count

I'm also confused about the commercials where he couldn't even actually try the product because of his food sensitivities (looking at you, Pizza Hut)

This era is similar to Rise of the Silver Streak, except a little less dilf and a little more "rockstar who wants to branch out and try new things"

8/10 and if you haven't seen the commercial he did for a Japanese sparkling apple juice company, I highly suggest you watch it it's hilarious 🤭

Volleyball Player Braids (1989)

You either get the title or you don't there's no in between

These little braids both suited him and looked very out of place

At least his hair was long enough again to the point where he could braid it

7/10 not my favorite, but he looked good and he knew it too

Experimentation (1990-92)

This is pretty much his default look at this point but the title does have a purpose

He had a mullet briefly in '91 and then promptly got rid of it lmao

Something tells me he made the right choice because despite not choosing a photo of it, it honestly didn't look that great

7/10 I respect him for not only experimenting but acknowledging when something is not working for him

Classic Rock Chic (1993-96)

When I tell you this look goes SO HARD 🥵

He IS a rockstar and is making sure everyone is gonna know it

I know he looked like this for about four years but I wish it lasted longer. This look peaked in '95 and there was nothing else like it 😌

25/10 I feel like I have to file this under the dilf category because I'm too attracted to it for it to be anything else 🤭💕

Fountain of Youth (1997-2020)

I am not joking when I say that he looked EXACTLY the same for TWENTY-THREE YEARS STRAIGHT

He cut his hair short again in '97 and then said fuck it we're staying like this

I do think it's funny how he had so many different eras when he was younger and once he entered his sixties he just found one he liked and stuck with it

5.5/10 I guess the short hair suits him but I'm just admiring the fact that he wanted something more low maintenance as he got older lol

All-Starr (2021-Present Day)

His hair is longer again and honestly I think he looks great

I love that the earrings and ombre sunglasses have not left since the 70s/80s because I absolutely love them

The peace sign necklace is also a serve and I'm not ashamed to say that he is the reason I bought one that looks exactly like it 🤭

8.5/10 he's really just adopted that rich guy aesthetic where he either dresses so cool it makes him look thirty years younger or he just wears tracksuits 90% of the time and honestly I love that for him 😌💕