#i can't get into these things without giving long detailed answers anymore can I

[macravishedbymactavish]

Hugging Headcanons (TF141 + König x GN!Reader)

Turns out, I'm better at full paragraph writing then headcanons, but we do our best in this house.

TW: Light swearing (like 2-3 words at most), little bit of cheeky adult(ish. Major ISH) behaviour, and mentions of anxiety/overthinking

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Soap:

If he had it his way, he'd be hugging you constantly. Loves (and I mean LOVES) physical contact and just being close to you in general.

He is also very vocal about this. From the beginning of your relationship he's made it known that he L I V E S for physical contact.

His favourite way to hug you is from behind, especially when you're not expecting it. The little jump then relaxing when you realize it's him brings him so much joy.

100% content with holding you from behind like this, chin resting on your shoulder as you do things.

Cooking? He'll be there, likely stealing some of the food before it's served (and laughing when he gets smacked with the spoon).

Paperwork? He'll try to hold you with one arm and write with the other, until Ghost or Price gives him shit because you're both now working at half your normal pace.

Anywhere, anytime. He's going to try to hug you.

If at any point you stop and think: "does Soap want a hug" the answer is yes. Always yes.

Soap always wants a hug, please hug him.

Ghost:

Would either be 100% hesitant and unsure of what he's doing, or 100% confident and assertive. No inbetween for this.

I feel he doesn't dislike physical contact (quite the opposite actually), but rather just hasn't had any physical or emotional connections in quite a while. So long in fact that he's grown fine without it. Until you came around.

Like context pre-hug aside, he probably did the cliche "tense right up then relax once he realizes he's safe" the first time you hugged him. Now he's hooked on the warmth of your body, the way you feel pressed into him, and how automatically relaxed he gets while being hugged.

Since he strikes me as someone who isn't huge on PDA (he's a rather private person) as much as he wants to hold you 24/7, he reserves this for moments when it's just the two of you.

The exception to the rule being stressful missions or any time when he was concerned for your wellbeing. He will gladly hold you close to remind himself that you're okay. No matter where you are, just a reminder that you're still here. You're still his. He pays no mind to anyone else in that moment outside of you and him.

He would NOT be open to questions or explanations the first time this happens, especially if it's in front of the guys. Yes, he's proud of you. Yes he's happy your his. No, they don't need to know every detail of your relationship.

Price:

I can see him being the "little bit obnoxious but a lot of love bear hug" type. Like you can't breathe but that's okay, he loves you a lot.

Much like Ghost - not huge on PDA. Partially because he likes to keep his personal life and work life seperate. But also a professional thing.

He leads a team, he has to keep up appearances. He also doesn't feel like dealing with his sergeants teasing the life out of him for being a softie.

He's also not a teenager anymore, his "I need to touch you at every minute of every hour" days are over. He's perfectly content holding you when appropriate/when he can.

He tries his best to balance work and home. Hugs and loving talks before bed are a MUST in this household. Of course you'll cuddle up in bed, but he makes a point to love up on you a bit more while you're both awake and can remember it.

Like everyone on this list: long hugs before he's deployed and when he first comes home. But I feel like his are more worth mentioning? He's been in the military either the entire time or majority of the time you've been with him. So because of that, you've sacrificed so much for this relationship so he could pursue his career/what feels right. The least he can do is set aside time for just you, to let you feel even a whisper of closure before he goes/when he returns.

I just imagine in the kitchen, tight hug. Ready to say goodbye, as he whispers stuff to you. Like whether it be bits of your vows, quotes he knows you live by, or just how much he adores you for everything. He would make an absolute point to give you another piece of his soul to treasure before he leaves (we can get into this more later if wanted)

Gaz

Another very playful soul. Not outward on PDA, but won't give up a chance to hug you quick or keep a hand on the small of your back.

You rank pretty high on the better things he has in life (if not on top), of course he's going to show you off. He landed a partner who is gorgeous inside and out.

As shown in game, he is a cheeky mf. So expect this to translate into the physical contact.

Mid-hug he may grab a handful of your ass, or start peppering kisses to your neck if hugging you from behind - then pretend like nothing happened (obviously in private. Time and place for everything folks).

I can see him being big on having his arm around your shoulders quite often. Like in resuraunts, resting his arm on the back of your chair, or doing the same while sitting on the couch with you. Just casual contact, a small flex of "they're mine, crazy right?"

Expect to be pulled into a tight hug, then dipped during your first kiss at your wedding. A little bit of flair and spice on your big day. Especially considering he got so flustered after your second or third date, that instead of going in for a goodbye/goodnight kiss he chickened out and opted to hug you close instead.

You melted when he told you that one night, when recounting the many stories and memories from your relationship.

So hugs, needless to say are pretty symbolic in your relationship

König

(Side note: I live and breathe the fact that his social anxiety is canon. I've never related to a character faster)

As anyone with social anxiety knows: it's not about whether you like physical contact or not -- it's normally the overthinking about "Do I initiate? Do I not? Do I pull away first? Am I hugging them for too long? Is this weird?"

He's very sweet overall, but quite awkward and overthinks hugging you initially. But wishes so much that you'd hug him over and over again.

He almost melts the first time you do, but is another "cliche freezes then relaxes" because he's so nervous. He really enjoys your company, he doesn't want to mess this up. He wants this to feel as nice and loving for you as it does for him.

Needless to say, it takes a little while and a lot of reassurance for him to get comfortable hugging you first. But when this day comes, oh boy watch out.

He will hug you at any opportunity. From behind hugs, side hugs, bear hugs, quick hugs, hugs where you do that little sway thing, hugs where you lightly rub the other persons back. He loves them all equally.

He especially loves hugs where you rest your face against his chest, and relax into him. Letting all the stress from your day fade for even a moment (because that's how he has always felt when you hugged him)

He found it both comical and endearing when you dragged a chair from across the room to in front of him to stand on so you could either (depending on your height and the chair)

1) Press your face into his neck without him having to bend right down

Or

2). Let him rest his head against your chest and relax.

Not that he'd ever admit it out loud, but that's the memory he finds himself thinking back to when he can't sleep during a long deployment. Or when he needs a quick pick-me-up after a long day.

Taglist: @bloodonmyhands-1221 @v1naco @bowtruckleninja

[average-mako-enjoyer]

Quickly wrote this little thing in response to the Wednesday event on the Big Place discord server. This is my first posted mshenko fic, I guess lol "How does your character deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?"

Just a back scratch

The recon they're doing is so impossibly uneventful that Kaidan notices Shepard making a face. 

They both abandoned protocol and took off their helmets about half an hour ago, and now Kaidan can see in all detail how he first squints, then scrunches his nose a little, and makes a quick, quiet exhale. 

From Kaidan's personal experience, this could be caused by a variety of things, from the Cerberus implants giving him a hard time to him realizing he didn't feed the fish. Kaidan doesn't like either of those possibilities.

"Shepard?" he asks. "You okay?"

"Yes." Shepard answers without pause, as he always does. And immediately makes the face again. This time with an added bonus: He squares his jaw. 

"Then why are you making that face?"

This question earns him a quick look. 

"I'm not," Shepard says, a true man of brevity. Sometimes Kaidan wants to smack him. 

"You're not what?"

"Making a face. Focus on the mission, Major."

"Aye Aye," Kaidan replies, annoyed. 

The next few minutes are spent in silence, and still nothing happens, so Kaidan's eyes inevitably wander back to Shepard, and yes, he's making the face again.

"Okay," Kaidan sighs. "Spill it."

This time Shepard slowly turns his head to face him, eyebrows raised, eyes all blue and innocent. 

Fucker. 

Luckily, Kaidan has his own tricks up his sleeve. 

"John..." he says. "Spill. It."

As usual, the use of his first name makes him twitch. He looks away and tenses up. 

"John, come on," Kaidan pushes. "I know something's wrong. Tell me."

Then he watches Shepard squint, move his jaw, clench his fist. 

'Local man struggles to admit he's not made of titanium,' Kaidan thinks, not too impressed by this display of masculinity. 

"I have a..." Shepard finally begins, after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. "I have an itch."

"What?" Kaidan blinks away a string of curse words running through his field of vision.

"An itch." Shepard gives him a quick look. "Under my armor. I try not to think about it. So it will go away."

"Does it work?" 

Shepard marinates an answer for a few more very uncomfortable moments. 

"No," he finally admits, and just like that, his dam is finally broken. "It's been itching for the last hour and I can't take it anymore, I think I'm losing my mind Kaidan." 

The look he gives Kaidan this time is long and panicked. 

'God give me strength,' Kaidan thinks, and asks,

"Where?"

"What?" Somehow Shepard's eyes get even wider.

"Where does it itch?"

"My lower back. On the left side." 

"Okay. Turn around and I'll scratch it."

"Kaidan, we're on recon," Shepard says, all surprised by Kaidan's audacity, and Kaidan is so done with his shit. 

"We've been sitting here for the last hour and a half waiting for Cerberus to make a move in this area, and nothing's happened. I highly doubt that me scratching your back will have any effect on that. Now turn around, soldier, and show me where it itches."

Shepard gives him another long look, but then slowly turns and thumps the area just above his ass with his fist. 

"Here."

"Okay." Kaidan frowns and touches it. It slowly dawns on him that scratching Shepard's back won't be as easy as he thought. The armor covering his spine is thick, and the soft suit underneath is even thicker. Kaidan presses into it with his gloved knuckles and Shepard sighs. 

"Can you feel it?" Kaidan asks. 

"Barely." Shepard looks over his shoulder. "Kaidan, I really don't think we should..."

"Zip it, Commander," Kaidan orders and takes off his glove. 

Shepard's back is cold, the undersuit is impossibly stiff and it scratches Kaidan's fingers just as much as he tries to scratch Shepard's back. Fortunately, he has enough calluses on his hands that it doesn't hurt. So Kaidan presses his fingers even harder, moving them up and down, and after a few moments Shepard makes a sound. 

It's so soft that Kaidan barely hears it, but then Shepard leans his head down and hisses the next breath. 

"Feel it now?" Kaidan grins. 

"Yeah, but..." Shepard's back moves with the next breath. "It's not enough. Fuck, I think it's worse now. Fuck."

"Okay." Kaidan stops and takes his hand away. "Let's think of something else." 

"Like what?" Shepard turns to him again. "You know... Thanks for trying, but it doesn't work. Let's just not think about it. I'm sure it would go away." 

He has such a pained look in his eyes that Kaidan says, "I can scratch you with my biotics."

Shepard raises an eyebrow. 

"Yeah, you're right. That's a bad idea. But how about–."

"I'm not taking off my armor," Shepard interjects. 

"I wasn't going to ask you that!"

"You weren't? Oh, okay." 

"If only I had something harder than my fingers..." Kaidan ponders, scratching his chin, and to his horror sees Shepard's face light up. 

"Your gun barrel," he says, eyes shining. 

"What?"

"Your gun barrel. It's hard and pointy. Just what we need." 

"Shepard, that's a firearm! It's dangerous!"

"Oh," he sighs and rolls his eyes, "come on. I trust you not to shoot me. And may I remind you that scratching me was your idea?" 

He has the nerve to look quite smug while saying this, and Kaidan has to admit his defeat. 

"Fine," he spats and unholsters his gun. 

He checks the safety three times before sticking the barrel into Shepard's back. When he moves it up and down, it feels completely surreal. But then Shepard hisses again. 

"A bit higher," he says, voice all strained. Kaidan complies, and Shepard makes a soft, happy sound. "Fu-uck."

"Better?" Kaidan asks, staring at the safety catch. 

"Oh yeah." Shepard takes a few uneven breaths. "Now a bit higher and to the left." 

Kaidan moves the barrel, but suddenly Shepard reaches back, grabs it, and moves it himself. 

"There," he says. "Press a little harder." 

"Fuck! Okay! Just take your hand away!" Kaidan checks the safety again, pushes the gun harder into Shepard's back, and begins to move in earnest. 

"Ohhh. That's the spot." Shepard makes that soft sound again, sounding exactly like he does in bed. "Alenko, you're the best."

Kaidan swallows. Suddenly his ears feel warm and Shepard's idea to take off the armor doesn't seem so stupid anymore. 

But they're not doing anything wrong. This is just a back scratch. In the middle of a recon. With Kaidan's gun as the main tool. With Shepard sounding like he's getting head. It's all perfectly normal. 

"Fuck yeah," Shepard says.

And that's the state the Cerberus trooper finds them in. 

"Oh," he says, standing in the doorway. 

They all just stare at each other for a moment. The trooper is unarmed, and Kaidan can imagine how what he and Shepard are doing must look. 

The last thing the trooper says before Kaidan grabs him with his biotics is, 

"I don't get paid enough for this shit."

And Kaidan absolutely agrees. No matter how much he was paid, it certainly wasn't enough.

[darlingshane]

plateau

Jack Harper x F!Reader

Summary: Your relationship with Jack has reached a point where it feels like it's going nowhere. You're not sure what to do anymore to break through that wall he's put up. On a bad day, you decide just to give up altogether. If he's not willing to make an effort so aren't you.

CW: SPOILERS, heavy angst, drama, mention of child neglect, mention of harassment, mention of past relationships, snap judgments, smoking, heartbreak, but HOPEFUL ENDING, I swear.

LONG A/N: Yeah, you've read it right. I wrote a fic for Jack before the show comes out. I think I have enough insight from the book and the details I've found about the show to mix and match a story for him.

I kept some things from the book that are going to change in the show like Jack's niece. She's younger and has a different name in the book that I liked better, so I went with that version instead. Everyone is a little shitty on this story, including reader and Jack, which is on par with the book. And this is written in a similar way the book is. The first half is from reader's pov, and the other half from Jack's pov.

Word Count: 4,1k

— Links: AO3 // Masterlist

It's dark, windy, downright pouring like hell when you head out the door after clocking out of the inn you work at.

Opening your umbrella, you walk against the wind towards the corner that leads to the parking lot. A car passes by fast on your side, driving carelessly over a big puddle that splashes your legs. You turn back and flip him off, but the car is too far gone to see you.

When you bend the corner, you glance around to find his car. It's hidden behind an SUV, and you don't see it until two beams of headlights flash at you twice.

You rush in that direction, trying to avoid getting soaked, but it's impossible. By the time you reach the passenger door, the wind has made sure to push as much water as it could in your direction,

Drenched head to toe, you close the umbrella and climb into the car, yanking the door close as hard as you can.

“Fuck.” You toss the umbrella to the backseat.

“Good evening to you too, sweetheart,” he scoffs behind the wheel.

“Sorry. Just one of these days, you know?”

“Anything I can do?” Jack extends a hand to caress your cold neck. His palm is warm against your skin, collecting the raindrops that fell on you.

“Just take me home. I can't do this right now.”

“Are you sure?”

Without answering, you open Jack's glove box and find that pack of smokes he keeps at the back. He's tried to quit many times but keeps this one here from when the urge arises. You're not a smoker per se, but today you could really use one to calm yourself.

You stick one cigarette between your lips and reach out to the inside pocket of the jacket he's wearing to find a silver zippo lighter.

“Help yourself.”

Lighting it up, you take a long drag and hang your head back against the headrest, letting the smoke intoxicate your lungs before expelling it through your lips.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No. Not really.” You offer him a puff, and he hesitates for a second before picking the cigarette between your fingers.

“Why not?”

“Cause I don't wanna burden you. Besides, this works better if we don't talk, right? That's what you said.”

“I didn't mean it like that.” He passes the cigarette back to you.

“It's fine, Jack. Just drive.”

He tilts his head to the side, staring ahead at the mass of water pelting on the windshield with rage. The sky is violently struck by a massive lightning bolt, outlining in a blue electric shade the mountains that paint the landscape of Dahlonega.

You're sure he wants to protest or even explain what he meant, but he never does. Everything just hangs in the air between you two as usual. It's what you've come to know about Jack Harper. This is transactional for both, an escape from your miserable lives. But right now, this feels just as pathetic. You hate hiding like this, like you're a hooker he has to take to some clandestine dark nook around town to do unspeakable things. He's been divorced for two years and is still afraid of showing you around town, so people don't come to any assumptions. And you hate that. There was a time when you'd find yourself thinking this could become real some day. But it never comes. Your relationship has reached a plateau and if he's not willing to move up higher, then you'd have to move on without him… Eventually. There are things in your life that are keeping you from making that leap. Right now, being in this fixed place feels somewhat safe, even if it isn't where you want to be. Spending time with him, however that looks or means, is better than nothing.

Despite all that, you have bigger problems in your life than Jack being a dormant lover. One of them being your ex constantly harassing you to no end. Mostly via phone. But today he reached a new level of psycho when he showed up in the middle of your shift to ask you for money. He put you in a very difficult situation where you had to give him what you had in your wallet in exchange for him not making a scene. He also threatened you with plastering the building you work at with compromising photos he took of you when you were together. It was probably a mistake to bend up so easily to his extortion antics. You know that this would serve as precedent for him to do the same bit again. And you can't afford that.

Jack has made it clear before that he's not looking for that kind of relationship where you can freely confide in the other. He knows your ex is an asshole, but he has no idea to what degree. And right now, you wish you could tell him, cause you're running out of ideas to keep that fucking dumbass away.

The car veers through the streets, carefully moving under the unwavering storm. The old wipers whine against the glass, exerting themselves to keep the view unobstructed. Inside the car, there's nothing but a heavy silence, broken only by the thunderous roar of the rainstorm. On a night like this, you'd usually drive to your spot in the woods behind the train station or go to that motel in Gainesville if you can, it's always worth the drive. But tonight he's taking you home and doesn't press further on why you've chosen that. Sometimes you wish you could just yell at him, tell him you're drowning, and you're sick of him treating you like garbage, but you won't. Instead, a knot forms in your throat, bottling up all those words that are making your body hurt inside and out. You don't expect him to magically cure any of your imaginary ailments. You just want him to be willing to listen sometimes. That's all you need.

“You could come in, you know? Maybe stay the night?” you suggest when the car pulls up in front of your place, situated in the middle of a row of townhouses that look identical.

“Can't. I gotta check Zoe hasn't burned down the house.”

“How would she do that?”

“Pfft, you name it. Sometimes she leaves the stove on, or falls asleep with a cigarette lit on the couch. Came home once to find one of those hair curling sticks plugged, burning over a towel.”

“Hm, sounds like a handful.”

“I'd bring you with me, but—“

“She hates my guts. I know.”

It's not news to you that Zoe Harper despises you. You went to school with her at St. Hilary's Academy, and the two of you never got along. She was part of the mean clique along with Jack's ex-wife, Anna. Everyone was a target to them, including you. Zoe in particular still has a big hate boner against you, cause she never grew up out of that phase. Even in her thirties with a toddler, she's incapable of letting go of the fact that one of her ex-boyfriends in high school dated you after breaking up with her. She blamed it on you, of course, though you never met him after the fact. Just like your ex, she harassed you until the end of the school year, spreading unbelievable rumors about you. Luckily, everyone knew that was their shtick, and no one ever believed the insane lies that came out of her mouth.

“Is that why you're sleeping with me? To piss your sister off?” You can't help but wonder.

“No, she doesn't know about us. It doesn't take much to piss her off, so I'd be pretty dumb to go through all this trouble when I could just hide her glue gun.”

“Right. Do you think there'd be a time when you could stay? Or go on a date with me during the day?”

“Why are you asking me this now?” He deadpans.

“I don't know, Jack. I'm just wondering. I like you. You seem to like me. These are normal questions people have when they like someone, but I'm guessing from your expression that I have it all wrong.”

Silence. Again.

The man is a wall you can tear down, and you’re not sure why you still try or why you even care the slightless about him when he’s clearly signaling this is nothing but sex to him.

Your phone interrupts that unnerving stillness when it starts blasting a string of messages. Your ex. Probably drunk-texting the usual repertoire about how much of a bitch you are, as if he didn’t have enough with what he did earlier.

You glance down at the phone in your palm, reading the last troubling text he sent, and dare to ask, “say, hypothetically, if someone was harassing you, do you make an appointment with the police, or should someone just show up and report it at the station? How much evidence do you need?”

“What? Is someone harassing you?” He finally responds.

“No, it was just a hypothetical. Indulge me, just for fun.”

“Okay, if someone was being harassed for sure they should go report it. Guess depends on a few factors. You’d need to present proof of a relationship to the respondent, evidence whether it is physical, threats, stalking, harassment… You’d need an explanation of why you believe you’re in immediate danger to issue a temporary restraining order. Wouldn’t hurt to consult a lawyer, either.”

“That’s what I thought. Thanks.” You say curtly, grabbing your bag and tucking your phone inside.

“Is this what’s worrying you today?”

“No,” you shake your head as you reach for the door handle.

“Should I pick you up tomorrow?”

“No. I don’t think you should. Unless you change your mind about staying one night, you shouldn’t come around anymore, Jack. Take care,” you find yourself saying, rushing to leave the car at once. The way you shut the door serves as a period to a chapter that's run on for too long.

Now that you've said it, It’s definite. If he’s going to give you nothing but silence, then you’re not going to waste your time anymore.

Jack hangs his head down after watching you enter your house. There's nothing that he'd love more than to chase you and stay with you, but there's something inside that's keeping him from it. The fear of letting you down and screwing another relationship paralyzes him. That's why he's stunned every time you make an attempt to move forward with this. He has no doubt you'd be better off without him, so he'd rather let you down now than further down the line.

As he drives home, he can't get out of his obtuse mind the way your face changed when you looked at your phone and the hypothetical question that you presented him. You wouldn't be asking if it wasn't real, he believes. Maybe it's for you or for a friend, but he doesn't plan on letting that fall through the cracks like everything else in his life. If someone is harassing you, he can't turn a blind eye and let you get hurt or worse. So, he pins that thought to check on later. Though you've asked him to stay away, he can't disappear without knowing that you're okay.

By the time he parks on the driveway of his childhood home, it's stopped raining. He captures the TV glow through the window before heading inside.

His sister has passed out on the couch as usual watching one of those reality channels. Luckily, no cigarette in hand but a handful of empty beer cans clutter the coffee table between her array of supplies she uses for crafting. When he finds the remote, he switches the TV off and heads upstairs.

There's another light coming from the cracked door of Olivia's room when he climbs the staircase to the second floor. He pushes the door open to find his almost three-year-old niece having a party with her stuffies in the rug.

“Uncle Jack!” The little girl beams when he sees his face.

“What are you still doing up, lil bug?” he smiles, crouching down to hug her.

“I was hungry.”

“You didn't have dinner?”

She shakes her head, “mommy fell asleep.”

It's hard not to think badly of her sister when she does shit like this. He abstains from being judgmental, but tonight, he can't help it. All she has to do is take care of Olivia. She has no job besides selling cheap jewelry and clothes that almost nobody wants. What else is keeping her from meeting her daughter's basic needs? Really. It doesn't make sense to him. Her immaturity never left her, even after having a baby she still acts like a fifteen-year old. Some people don't deserve to be parents, and Zoe is one of them.

If it wasn't for Olivia, he wouldn't put up with Zoe's crap like he does.

He takes her downstairs and whips out something quick for her to eat. In a plate, he puts some chopped baby carrots, crackers, and cheese so she can snack while he fries some fish sticks and mixes some instant mashed potatoes. To be honest, he's not sure how much a toddler should eat at night, but he's going to let her have what she wants cause he's not sure when was the last time she had a full meal.

Olivia seems happy with his choices. She'd be a picky eater if she wasn't so hungry. She quickly devours everything he puts on her plate.

After dinner, Zoe is still deeply asleep in the same place while he helps Olivia to brush her teeth with her tiny brush he bought her the other day. It has a unicorn on the handle, which she adores.

When brushing time is done, he reads her a book and watches her fall asleep in record time.

Spending time with Olivia is lovely. It's such a beautiful picture, his heart aches for that part of him he lost. He was more than ready to be a dad, always hands on when he needed to during those short months she was on this earth.

With the weight of the world quickly settling on top of his shoulders, he retreats back to his room to see if he can put himself together the same way. He takes a shower and shaves the stubble on his face before slipping into bed. He closes his eyes, but after an hour, sleep seems to elude him. Something makes his stomach turn, and not because he's hungry. It's something else entirely. It's a gut feeling that tells him something is going on with you, and you’re not willing to tell him because he's kept you at an arm's length. God, he's such an asshole, he thinks as he flips on the bed to check the time on his phone.

It's late. But not terribly late to correct a mistake.

Jack quickly puts on some clothes without thinking, grabs his keys and phone to pay you a visit.

He makes sure Olivia's still asleep before heading out the door. Zoe is awake now on the couch, watching TV. She barely glances at him or acknowledges his presence when he lies to her, telling her that he was called to the station, that he’d probably be out all night.

The streets are empty and still soaked in a thick layer of water from the storm. He allows himself to drive a little faster now that he can.

Following another light, he knows you’re still up by the yellow glow filtering behind the curtains of one of the windows. He pulls up in the empty driveway of your house, and uses his phone to text you, typing he’s outside.

Jack waits for a minute before seeing the curtains move to show your face. He waves timidly and beckons you to meet him at the door.

“What are you doing here, Jack?”

“I thought about what you said and… Can we talk inside?”

“Are you sure? What would the neighbors say if they saw you here?” You mock him with annoyance in your tone. “Cause if Mrs. Greer sees you spending more than two minutes here, she’ll get the wrong idea. And you know how fast news travels around here.”

“Please? I just need a minute.”

Exhaling, you step backwards and open the door wider to let him in.

The TV is on when he enters the living room, and he's taken aback upon seeing the face of his ex-wife on the screen in the news segment she anchors at WSK.

“You don't have to say it. I'm pathetic.” You scoff, turning it off.

“You're not pathetic,” he's quick to reply.

“You know, I get it. She's smart and pretty, and everything I'd never be. I wouldn't blame you if you were still hung up on her. It'd explain a lot.”

It breaks his heart seeing you like this. Anna is part of his past that he’s definitely not looking to revisit. He’s not sure what you’re yet, but he’d never want you to think that you're anything less than amazing. That’s his fault for drawing this out.

“It's not that, sweetheart. I just think you deserve better than this, than me… I'm screwed up. I don't have anything to offer you right now. I know it, she knows it, too.” He vaguely gestures at the now-black flat screen, and pauses. “You think you want me, but you don't. It'll pass.”

“That's such s lame cop out. Why does every guy in my life think they know what I want or need better than me, huh? It's my choice to ruin my life if I want to. You don't get to decide. If you don't wanna be with me, that's fine, but don't say it's because I don't know what I want. Do you know what you want, Jack?”

His chin nods gently, staring down for a beat.

“Then say it.” You press him, folding your arms against your stomach. “You came back to talk, so talk.”

“It wouldn't work out between us.”

“That's not what I asked.”

Jack clears his throat. “It's not that simple.”

“Good things never are.” You keep hitting the ball into his side of the court.

“Fine! You win, okay?” His voice raises up, as all those unsaid secrets find a way out of his chest. “I can't stop thinking about you. Best thing in my life right now is when I get to pick you up and spend that little time together, and it's never enough. And I don't know how to do this anymore, how to be with someone. I don't wanna hurt you. And I can’t let my guard down again… what happened the last time… it can’t happen again…”

You see him choking up, overcome with emotion, as he trails off.

“Jack.” You bring your hands up to cup his jaw in your palms.

You open your mouth to say something else, but now it's you that gets to be speechless, so you just pull his face close, so his forehead falls on top of yours. He closes his eyes, and you close yours, letting the circling of your thumbs sooth the freshly-shaved skin of his cheeks. There’s really nothing you can say to ease the pain that he still harbors.

“It's okay,” you say after a long minute. “We don't have to rush into anything. We'll figure it out as we go. I just need you to talk to me, Jack. Just once in a while. You think we could do that? Be honest with each other?”

“Yeah, I think so,” he exhales, letting a small part of that heaviness he carries evaporate in the open space.

When he pulls his head back, you open your eyes as he places a kiss on your forehead, before locking his arms around you. His nose captures the scent of your hair while you tuck your arms around his torso.

Now that the air seems slightly clearer between you, he relaxes in your embrace for longer than he ever has. It feels like you’re holding him up, instead the other way around.

Something creeps back into his stomach—that uneasy feeling that wouldn’t let him sleep and that brought him to your door. He clears his throat to swallow the bittersweet taste left in his mouth of that sudden confession to change the subject and focus on you instead.

He hesitates to ask, but he has to.

“Hey. Do you think we could start now, being honest, I mean?”

“Sure.” You tilt your head back to capture his gaze.

“What you asked me about earlier in the car when I brought you home about harassing, I know you didn’t just ask for the sake of asking. Is there something going on, sweetheart?”

“Hm, nothing you need to worry about.” Your tone says the opposite as you suddenly pull away from his arms to busy your hands spreading the throw pillows on your couch evenly apart.

“Thought this is what you wanted. To talk.”

“This is not your problem, Jack.”

“That’s where you draw the line? Just cause it’s not my problem doesn’t mean I can’t help. I can see you’re scared, so—please, make it my problem.”

He watches you sigh with heaviness as you put the pillow in your hands down before grabbing your phone from the table.

After unlocking it and finding the text chain between you and your ex, you hand the phone to Jack so he can see for himself.

“Holy shit.”

He scrolls, dumbfounded, through a one-sided alarming thread of messages that are made of threats, degrading insults, intimidation, blackmail… You hardly ever reply unless he threatens you to do so.

“Have you tried blocking him?”

“Of course, I've tried. He shows up here if I do so. He likes to know that I read all the shit he sends. He gets off on it. He showed up today at work and I had to give him money so he'd go.”

This is more serious than he initially thought. He has to pull his eyes away from the screen after skimming roughly through over 50 messages that seem to keep going.

“You shouldn't have put this off. You could've easily got a restraining order with half of these.”

“I mean, he's never hurt me. At least there's that. He's like one of those dogs. He's all bark.”

“Yet.” Jack remarks. “He hasn't hurt you yet. What's this thing about a picture?”

“What do you think? I was stupid. I let him take pictures of me, you know… intimate pictures. Now he's saying he's going to put them all over town, so everyone can see what a slut I am.”

“You're not stupid, sweetheart. C'mere. Let's sit.” His hand points at the couch where you sit.

He lowers his backside on top of the coffee table in front of you.

“Keep these.” He puts your phone between your palms. “Tomorrow, we'll go to the station and you'll show them. I'll check with the inn, see if I can have access to the security feed.”

“Okay.”

“This is what you wanna do, right?”

You waver. “I suppose so. I just wish he'd leave me alone.”

“You gave him money. He's not going to leave you alone anytime soon now that he knows he can twist your arm like that.”

“I'm sorry I made it your problem.”

“Don't apologize. I asked you to.”

“So, what now?”

He tiredly shrugs his shoulders. “Guess we just wait and see what happens tomorrow.”

“Will you go in with me?”

“Yeah, don't worry. You're not doing this alone.” He gently cradles your hands in his palms, drawing soothing circles on your skin with his thumbs.

This is progress. It's scary, but it's a step in the right direction. He can't stay stuck red living the same day as in Groundhog Day. That's not living. This is it, holding you in his hands seems so simple yet so incredible.

Jack shifts in his seat on the table to sit next to you on the couch. His arms hold you closely as you search in his mouth something to put you at ease. He can't tell by the way your lip trembles that you're just as terrified. Perhaps not of this, you and him, but from that other situation you find yourself in. He provides a much necessary relief in the way his tongue gently massages yours. One of his hands is drawn under the hem of your top to find the warmth of your skin. It makes your hair stick out when the feather-light gliding of his fingers moves across the length of your backbone.

— credits: beautiful divider by @bernardsbendystraws

[ddejavvu]

Can i request the SFW letter B for Hotch? How would he be as a best friend?🥹

request a letter of the alphabet for your favorite character!

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

--

that's so cute :(( i love best friend hotch !! non bau!reader version:

let me set the scene for you. this guy in a crisp suit always comes into the sandwich shop that you work at on fridays. he misses some, and when you ask him the next time, he says he was away on a business trip, but every. friday. this man comes into your shop and orders between 6-10 sandwiches. most are orders you've memorized, then some disappear and new sandwich orders take their place. but his is always the same, and he always makes polite conversation with you while you're making him 10 personalized sandwiches which takes a hell of a long time. he gives you the name aaron for his order, and you correctly assume it's his. then one day you see him on a saturday. huh?? this man does not belong in here on a saturday !! friday is his day !! he gives you a sheepish little smile, like he knows he should not be having 2 sandwiches from your shop this close together, but he's got a little boy with him and he scoops him up to help the kid see the add-ons he can get to his sandwich. now this guy's always been nice to you, but he looks like he could kill you, and now he's got this little boy tucked tight in his arms, and aaron's reminding him that he doesn't like bologna, that he didn't eat it the last time he packed it in the boy's lunch for him, so he shouldn't get it now. and it's all so domestic and perfect and when he comes in the next friday you have to ask. you find out that yes, that's aaron's son, and he actually usually comes in to get his work friends a lunch every week !! and man is that sweet :')) eventually you guys just chat so much that you know personal details about each other, although he can never give you a straight answer when it comes to his job, for some reason. either way, you look forward to your little friday meetups with sandwich aaron, and sometimes he brings his son along on the weekends <3

bau!reader version:

the job is what got you close. one of you had the inevitable 'i can't do this anymore' breakdown about a case, and the other comforted them. if it was you, aaron offered to spend time outside of work with you. if it was him, you did the same. and you got comfortable with each other, you started texting him things to show to jack, he started texting to ask if you wanted that coffee that you can never find at the grocery store, because he found some at target and he'll spot you the cash just so that you can have your morning cup. eventually you're taking your lunches together, you're carpooling to work, you're having movie nights, you're teasing him without the fear of being fired. he seems like an acts of service kinda guy, so expect all of your manual labor to be done by him. you just bought a new bedframe? yeah, aaron's on the floor screwing it together right now. your light switch made a weird noise? don't use it until aaron can take a peek inside. is he an electrical engineer? no. is he gonna try and fix it anyways? yeah. in return please make sure that he eats something every once in a while, he tends to forget.

[hyperblue]

Everyday I scroll through your blog just to remember what happiness is.

Also, I did have an actual question or request(?) I suppose, I want, NEED more details about your specific AU with Wendy and Jackie, what fo they enjoy? How often do they fight with their fathers? What do they grow up to be??? You've said before that Jack is scared of his powers, so does this result in him going out and having a 'normal' life? How would that affect his relationships with his family?

Of course you don't have to answer but I am very curious!

hello there!! I'm so glad to hear that you're enjoying my blog, thank you for your kind words 💙

and yes i will gladly answer your questions! this will probably get a bit long, i hope that's okay with you

au's mainly focused on twins when they are around 17-18 (kind of symbolic to tim's age when he cloned them because I'm prosy like that)

one of the main reasons why I've decided to go for twins in this au (aside from being indecisive about whether it should be a boy or a girl) is because it gives me a chance to demonstrate how two people can have same upbringing/surrounding and be influenced by the very same group of people AND still form entirely different perspectives and opinions on certain things. i'm going to use both kids' relationships with kon as one of the clearest examples:

wendy appreciates kon dearly, she thinks very high of him and constantly seeks for his company and attention. on the other hand, as she gets older, it becomes really awkward for her to be around him because she's old enough now to actually understand and pear wiggle the whole "my dad cloned me out of this dead dude's dna without his consent" thing in her head, until she has to stop for a moment and go: "wow. that was So Not Okay of my dad." on top of that she's facing a major identity crisis because you know, teens, and starts to question her own existence and even tim's love for her, because she can't be sure now if he actually loves her or if she's just a good enough replacement of what her dad could have loved, but never got an actual chance. which eventually leads to her bottling up lots of anger towards tim, because obviously it's his fault that she can't look kon in the eyes anymore, and none of this would've happened if he just had his shit together and didn't try to clone kon all those years ago (and she's not even entirely wrong)

what she CAN'T fathom just yet is the fact that she loves kon so much partly because she got to see him through tim's eyes; part of her affection for kon is deeply rooted in a way tim spoke about him when she was a kid, always loving, always in awe — essentially, tim was the first person who taught wendy the concept and the feeling of love. and even her awkwardness and guilt that she's experiencing around kon are inherited from tim; she's just mirroring her dad's own feelings about himself without even realizing it

jackie, on the other hand... it would be easy to say that he's just not as close with kon as his sister, but when you start to look at the reasons, well, it gets a little bit messy. you see, jackie was always a "daddy's boy"; he and tim were inseparable when jackie was a kid, they still are, actually, it's just that tim only now starts to realize negative side effects of their closeness but that's for another post. not only that, he's also much more... observant than wendy in a lot of ways, so while wendy was soaking in tim's affection for kon as a sponge to eventually make it her own, jackie couldn't help but notice how hard it was for his dad to have kon in his life only as a co-parent and nothing more (they've bended their friendship as years went by, but it was never easy for both of them); not to mention that tim, to this day, experiences a very severe depressive episodes, to the point of not being able to get out of bed — jackie was very affected by it too growing up. so to him, as of now, it doesn't make sense for kon to stick around and be his usual "weekend dad" if he's not willing to stay forever, and he's kind of resentful towards kon, because he always felt sorry for tim in this situation. not that he doesn't understand why exactly it's the way that it is, it's just that his philosophy on that matter is: if you can't stay forever, do not bother visiting us at all, and stop giving dad any hope for more. jackie's anxiety regarding his kryptonian powers also does not help at all, more on that later

(got carried away with this, sorry, i just had to take this opportunity to explain why there are twins in my timkon clone baby au)

so about the kids, wendy is a rebellious soul and free spirit, and her interests really show that about her — she's been horse riding since she was five, tim was a bit hesitant about it at first, but with damian's help they managed to convince him that everything is going to be okay; damian has also bought wendy her own horse, the one she's connected with in her equestrian club (damian is her favorite uncle ever since; she did not let him call her horse a "Bathourse", tho). aside from that she plays guitar just a little, tim's also tried to teach her piano but ended up failing miserably; he also wasn't able to pass on to her his music taste, wendy is almost strictly a pop girl. she's not really good at photography from professional point of view, but she almost always has her little digital camera with her to take snapshots of memories

(she's also really into true crime videos/podcasts, it's one of the activities that she likes to share with her dad; most times after a fight with tim, if she wants to make up or apologize, she just sneaks into his office and starts playing random true crime youtube video at full volume)

jackie doesn't really have a "main" interest or hobby, even though he's passionate about a lot of things, some of them include: art (because damian), sports (although he's not playing himself), cars (because tim), photography (once again, tim), also I'm pretty sure he's good at math — a little bit of this, a little bit of that, as he himself would say. it could create a major problem for him to choose between college programs if he hadn't already decided that he is going to inherit drake industries, so business it is. tim actually had a whole conversation with him, like, "are you SURE that's what you want," resulting in jackie just. shrugging his shoulders, because it's just about as good as any other choice; not that he has some big, special dream anyway. also i think that he probably skipped a class (wendy did not; she's not too excited about going to college)

speaking about jackie being scared of his powers, it's most likely the result of an accident/series of accidents from his childhood when he unwillingly hurt tim or demolished something during tantrums (he used to throw them a lot when he was younger); kon has offered his help at figuring out how to control it, of course, but if for wendy it was existing and she wanted to get even stronger and make more progress, for jackie it was always about keeping it at bay so to not hurt anyone else. he never really wanted to become a vigilante either, which is good enough for tim because he's worried enough about wendy rushing to the field; he's as close at being a civilian as you can possibly get while growing up with bats and having a kryptonian dad. mostly it's a relief for his family ("at least one of us is going to graduate college"), although wendy can't stop bugging him about joining in and being the coolest vigilante twins gotham has ever seen. it's a bit isolating for him, sure, considering that everyone in his family is a superhero of some sort, but with tim mostly being a stay at home dad and only managing comms every once in a while it turned out better than it could

it DID get long, and i start to lose the train of thoughts; nevertheless, i hope you'll enjoy this answer 💙 feel free to ask more about them, I'm always up to chatting about my babies

[cyten0]

A Symphony in Crimson

Act 1: A Movement in Black

Chapter 14

Finally. Back at this storage room. It took a while, you made sure the party got through without a scratch on them. The scent of blood isn’t as bad anymore, you can control yourself, but it still feels horrible to smell, for many reasons.

The ONE thing you nee to do right now is keep them safe, that matters more then anything else, even a drop of blood makes you feel like a blinding failure. What’s the point of all of this if they get hurt? You’ve already failed them before, you won’t let it happen again if you can help it.

It makes them a little nervous, seeing you puppet the sadnesses about, making them flee, or tear each other apart. But it’s fine. As long as they're safe.

This is now YOUR lair, not the kings. And you’ll never let them get hurt here.

But right now, they're trapped here. And it’s past time to fix that. Your family watches as you grab the book about wishcraft from the shelf and flip it open, searching for answers.

◉ “What do you have there Siffrin?”

✦ “A book on wishcraft”

...Oh they probably want to know why your looking into it. Hm.

✦ “… It’s likely how the king got the power over timecraft.”

▲ “Oh Crab!”

◉ “T-That seems important!!”

◆ “Mind if we take a look?”

They can’t read it but they don’t know that. So you just show them the book. As expected, they look at it frustrated, before handing it back.

✿ “Those were bad letters.”

◆ “Honestly surprised you can even read it.”

Perhaps you should go into detail. They might have insights.

✦ “I’ll translate, and explain. Take a seat.”

▲ “Awfully serious huh? “

◉ “Reminds me of the teachers here… I guess that makes this an extra class!”

You nod. Teacher angle makes sense. You’re a little tired to make all the normal expressions, but you’re frankly excited to teach this again! Properly this time!

✿ “Do we have to? I don’t want to do school again.”

✦ “You sure? You’d learn how to do real miracles. But I guess if you aren’t interested...”

✿ “I am now very intepid.”

◆ “Interested.”

✿ “That.”

▲ “Wait, hold on a second, you said actual miracles?”

You give Isa a grin. You have everyone's interest!

✦ “Take your seats, and we can begin.”

They sit down around the nearby table, while you skim the book quickly to make sure you’re ready.

◆ “Very well, professor Siffrin. Whenever you please.”

Alright. Best start with the basics first.

✦ “Now then. Wishcraft is, as the name implies, the ability to craft with wishes. Specifically, it is the art of turning raw belief in a desire into real force by drawing from elsewhere. This is done through any number of rituals, which help translate and amplify your intentions to the stars in the night sky. Then, your will to see it done sways them into granting that desire.”

▲ “The stars? They can do that?”

Ah, you should explain this again. You briefly explain the stars, other worlds, their craft energy, and so on.

◉ “Wow, that’s… So, every time we make a wish, we’re taking from hundreds of other people?!?”

✦ “Billions, but... No, it’s more complex then that. Like I said, We’re also a star to them, and they can draw from us. It’s more like sharing, on such a wide scale we can't tell. But more importantly, it’s normally borderline impossible to draw anything meaningful normally. That’s why rituals need to be designed for this.”

◆ “And what do these rituals involve?”

✦ “I’m glad you asked! Every star has affinities for certain actions, desires, objects, and so on. In order to contact several, you have to find stars close enough to each other that work together. But, since we don’t have a say in what these affinities are, the rituals can get… Unusual.”

✿ “I wanna know one! Tell us, tell us!”

Well, you know one like the back of your hand, so...

✦ “Well then, let’s go for something you’re familiar with. Favor trees.”

▲ “WAIT WHAT!?!”

◉ “THEY CAN GRANT WISHES?!?”

✦ “Yes! They can. It’s not the strongest ritual, but it can work small miracles. Like learning a skill effortlessly, giving good luck, or with strong desire, even stuff like transformations and small bits of magic-like abilities.”

▲ “I-It can’t be as simple as just clapping your hands can it? We would have known by now!”

✦ “Right. Visiting the tree is just one step. The actual ritual goes as such: First find a leaf that represents yourself, whisper the wish into the leaf a number of times significant to you, or just three if you want, fold it closed, and then set it loose in the wind.”

They all just take a second to process that.

✿ “That’s so weird.”

◉ “Kinda complicated. And nothing like what we were taught…”

You feel a little annoyed at that, for some inexplicable reason.

✦ “Hey, designing rituals is tricky. Finding a specific combination of stars that even respond to favor trees took MONTHS of work, and after that you just have to work with what’s available to make something even doable at all. The fact there even IS one is a borderline miracle.”

◆ “No need to get upset Siffrin. It’s not like you designed it.”

… Wait

… Oh. That’s why it’s so clear in Siffrin’s memory. And why you know so much about this from them.

...AND they could tell from your silence.

◉ “...Oh Change.”

✦ “I tried, okay?”

▲ “Hey it’s a good ritual, you did your best.”

✿ “Yeah, but why’d you never tell us! I would’ve totally used it yesterday!”

✦ “...I forgot.”

They have a bit of a chuckle at that. Oh stars, that’s really embarrassing…

Siffrin wanted it to be a gift for their neighboring country. You barely even remembered it. It would have been the perfect thing to share.

◆ “So, these rituals contact the stars. But that leaves me with a few questions. For example, how do they make sure it goes to the wish, and not something else? And what about contradictions, such as if two people wish for opposing things? And also, what kind of ritual did the king use for their powers? Is there a way to disrupt it?”

Huh. You can’t quite remember. But it seems important. You start flipping through the pages…

✦ “Hm… Not getting much. It seems those first few points are handled by something called an Arcanum, but it doesn’t mention much about them. And this book doesn’t actually list many rituals, more just how Wishcraft works.”

◉ “Then we should keep an eye out! I’m kind of invested now!”

✿ “I really wanna know more magic stuff!”

You nod, and everyone gets up. Alright. That’s a new insight! You might have talked a LOT there, but the recap was important, for them and you both. The headache is mild, since you were mostly reading for that knowledge. Worth it.

And it served as a bit of a distraction. The reality of you being in the house suddenly comes back to you in full force. Right. You have to keep them safe till the next book. Now you need to make extra sure you don’t loop until the end, or else you will have to do all that over again.

You walk out the door, and see a sadness. NO. You sing, and it rips itself apart. You stab it for good measure, before the others even get out the door.

◆ “...Gems, that never gets any less unsettling.”

You hear Isa whisper under their breath.

▲ “(Back to cold Sif, I guess… Hope their okay.)”

...Oh. You… haven't been putting effort into being expressive lately, have you…

...It’s fine. Save your energy for the parts that matter. Even if you have to go a bit monster in between.

>>>

Second floor. You ended up having that talk at that diary in the library, and… let them know that that’s where you, and wishcraft come from. It felt important to mention this time.

It was. Nice, how they comforted you afterwards. But, you assured them it was fine and moved on. You can’t accept comfort for that. They’d never forgive you if they found out the truth. No one would.

Still, you made your way to the secret library. And searched the shelves for that book. You hope it has what you need… Perfect!

✦ “Guess what I found! A book on constellations, their rituals, and it has a section discussing Arcanums!”

▲ “CRAB Yeah!”

◉ “Yes! Please, tell us all you can!”

✿ “I wanna know if there’s any magic wish stuff I can do!”

◆ “Yes, if you would be so kind?”

You nod, and start skimming through… Hm. This is rather interesting.

✦ “Okay, so first off, the Arcanum is a construct of sort, that helps focus a specific constellation to our world. But it also says here it… ‘Puts wishes in the hands of the patron star’.”

◆ “What does that mean?”

✦ “Can’t see what this stars name is, gives me a headache trying but… Apparently they act as some kind of. Controlling force? They sort of manage the wishes, make sure they go right.”

Wait, something catches your eye.

✦ “Apparently this involves fixing contradictions, increasing efficiency, and… even merging similar wishes together?”

▲ “Huh. That makes sense. If a bunch of people want the same thing, it makes sense to just bundle it into one.”

… That might be it. Your wish wouldn’t have done this, but if it got mixed into another, bigger wish, then maybe THAT is what’s causing this? But what wish could be doing that… What wish could have enough power to repeatedly turn back time?

◆ “Interesting. Still, if this Arcanum is important to the efficiency, then disrupting it would weaken the king, yes?”

✦ “Maybe? But unless he made it himself, it’s probably back on the island. Still, a wish this intense typically comes with a caveat or two.”

◉ “… Is there a way to check that?”

Hm. That would be useful. You skim through the pages a bit.

✦ “Apparently if we can find an Orrery, they come with ways to trace wishcraft to their constellations. I’ll take the book with us in case we find one, and can cross reference.”

▲ “Sounds like a plan!”

✿ “...Okay, that’s cool and all, but can we get another cool magic ritual?”

Oh yeah, fair, that would be nice! You flip through the pages, seeing if you can find anything interesting...

✦ “Let’s see… Oh, here’s an interesting one. Who here knows how to make a paper crane?”

Nobody except Odile raises their hand.

✿ “...You better teach me, Dile.”

◆ “Sure. Now then, what do you do with them?”

✦ “Apparently, if you successfully fold one thousand paper cranes consecutively, without tearing or damaging a single one, and whisper your wish into each one as you do, on the final one, your wish will be granted.”

◉ “That sounds… Difficult.”

✦ “Maybe, but this is a strong wish! It can do some crazy things. Stuff normally impossible. Like learning a complex skill instantly, Create things from nothing, Gain the power to control the elements, and so on.”

✿ “… I am SO gonna do this one.”

✦ “Interested to see you try! Let me see if I can find another… Oh hey, here’s the favor tree one! Discovered by-”

You freeze in place. That. That can’t be right. You can barely stand straight.

◉ “Siffrin! A-Are you alright?!?”

As you stumble, Isa grabs you. Holds you upright.

That...That was Siffrin?!? You… You killed… You pretended to be… You can’t breathe…

▲ “Sif! Take deep breathes, buddy, in and out, like you always do, come on.”

You-! You-! You…. In and Out. In. And out. In. and. Out.

You're still shaking. You can’t… You absolute monster. You can’t believe….

✿ “What’s wrong Frin? What scared you like that!”

✦ “It-It’s nothing! Just… M-Might have been some backlash from… memory stuff! It’s fine! It’s fine.”

Odile looks at you suspiciously.

✦ “…Just... shouldn't have read about myself... I’ll hold onto the book for now, but I think we’ll save reading until relevant.”

Your family reluctantly accepts, and you start to put yourself together. Those words burning in your mind.

You’d known Siffrin was important, but you never had any idea it was anything more then maybe some notoriety in a field.

If you had known, you’d never have pretended to be him. Masqueraded as him. Dragged his corpse around as a common traveler. Let the scant few survivors you’ve met, even if only in the depths of their subconscious, think that he was still alive...

Discovered by Crown Prince, Siffrin Polaris.

… You really are an absolute monster.

>>>

You are on the third floor. Your family is a little nervous, since you’ve been a little tense since the secret library. And have been taking that tension out on the sadnesses. You’ve started getting a little creative with how you make them kill each other or themselves, and aren’t exactly letting them run away. Or at least, if they do, you make sure they're dead within seconds of leaving line of sight. You don’t let it get in the way though, your family is as safe as always.

Oh. This door.

You’ve seen this odd, star shaped door before, but never gone in. Couldn’t read the text. But. You can now.

The name of the Star Blessed kings shall always be welcome.

… You don’t deserve to say it. To stain that name any more then you already have, by letting this twisted mimicry of it’s last member speak it.

But… There might be something important in there. It feels horrible but...You speak it, barely above your breath.

✦ “Polaris.”

The door opens.

▲ “Huh? Did you say something Sif?”

✦ “Don’t worry about it. Let’s head in.”

You walk in and. Oh! Guess you were right.

✦ “Well that’s lucky. Found our Orrery.”

▲ “Oh, okay! So that’s what that is.”

◉ “Hehe, it’s fun seeing Siffrin be the expert for once!”

✿ “It looks kinda weird. I don’t get it.”

◆ “Agreed. Care to show us how it works?”

You nod, and take a closer look. Even if you didn’t have Siffrin’s memories, mechanical stuff like this is your forte!

✦ “So, it can be used in two ways. The first is to map out how our world looks from the outside in, which is used for a lot of star based things. For reference, this ball here in the center is the sun, and this tiny ball here is where we live.”

✿ “WHAT!! That’s so small!! Why is the sun so big!”

✦ “It's actually scaled down quite a bit. It's much bigger, We’re just really far away from it. If it was accurate, with the sun at that size, the earth would be a pebble, and the distances would make this thing bigger then the entire house!"

▲ “That… Wow. That’s... Way bigger then I thought. I can't even picture that in my head.”

✦ “It puts things into perspective doesn’t it? We’re really just a tiny speck in the scale of everything.”

◉ “It’s a little overwhelming…”

✦ “Really? I find it comforting... Anyways! Let’s move on to the reason we need this… Hm…”

You look around a little bit, find a loose rock frozen in time, and place it against a scanner at the base.

The machine whirrs to life, spinning into the right position, matching when the constellation would be most visible. Then the room grows dark, as a misty circle of shadows forms around you all. You watch as you all go slightly transparent within the crafted illusion, and a series of lights is highlighted against the edge, lines connecting the phantom stars like dots.

▲ “CRAB!!!”

◉ “WHAT?!?”

◆ “GEMS!!!”

✿ “WOAH!!!”

You give them a second to adjust before explaining.

✦ “Look like this ones pretty fancy. Normally it’d just be a projection around it, but this is much cooler!”

You point to the highlighted stars. The whole is overall shaped like a heart with a dagger. There’s a lot of stars in it too!

✦ “There’s the constellation! Let’s see if it matches up to anything in here…”

▲ “This is actually really crabbing cool….”

◉ “It’s really beautiful!”

✿ “I can see through my hands!!”

You search through the book, going through the high power constellations first.

✦ “Oh, yeah, here it is, let’s see if there’s a caveat or something… Oh… That’s…”

◆ “Hm? What is it?”

This… Dear goodness. You knew the king was insane but this is just…

✦ “I’m going to give a warning ahead of time and say this ritual is… Gruesome. The king is clearly messed up to even attempt this.”

The others take a pause, look at the constellation, and nod. You take a deep breath in, and out.

✦ “Take a piece of iron. Mix your own blood, freshly spilled, into it’s metal every day for one hundred days. Then, on the one hundredth day, forge it into a dagger, and then pierce your own heart. Should you survive unaided from dawn till dusk, without removing the blade, it will fuse into your heart. So long as the blade remains and your heart still beats, you will be given the power to see your wish granted.”

…

Your family is left speechless.

◆ “...Gems alive…”

◉ “That’s horrible!”

▲ “How desperate was he?”

None of you know what to say to that.

✦ “… Guess that means killing him really is the only option.”

◉ “I… I guess.”

✿ “… But we know it’ll work, right?”

!?!?

✿ “I-If the magic stuff only works while his heart's working, then when he’s dead, it’s gonna stop, right? Everything will go back to normal, right?!”

Bonnie is on the edge of tears.

◆ “I… Yes, Boniface.”

✦ “Yeah. It will. And… If they're willing to go that far, then we don’t need to feel bad about it. Someone like that… Would kill to get his way.”

You know that from experience…. Can still remember how they…. You look at the constellation on the wall. Such a twisted ritual. But…

✦ “It says here… that this ritual was once used by the most loyal knights, dedicated to protecting the world itself. Only those willing to risk everything for the people. To bleed and die for the ones they care for..."

A faint memory scratches the back of your mind. Someone you looked up to?

✦ "It’s sick, seeing him twist something like that into this.”

Mirabelle looks at you, determined.

◉ “… We’ll put and end to it.”

...Monsters, twisting what few bits remain of your home into nightmares. The King. And You…

You’d best check your own wish, while you’re here. You place your hand against the monitor. And the device shifts and spins, highlighting the favor tree constellation. You suppose your wish IS involved then. But…

◆ “Checking your own wish, hm?… Why does it look… Cracked, I guess?”

It does. The stars and it’s patterns are leaving cracks on the display. They're also far brighter then it should be. That means it’s likely under considerable strain. Could be a result of the wish going wrong.

But more notably, the stars at the center seem the most strained, and no other stars are highlighted at all... Which means...

The wishes bundled into yours were also done at favor trees. Otherwise, other stars would have been at least somewhat highlighted. And the favor tree isn’t a strong constellation. To pull this kind of power from it, so focused, it would take an absurd amount of will. Which means it was done by many people. But what wish...

✦ “No idea. Still, that’s enough for now.”

That’s a lead to look into. You turn the device off, and the illusion fades.

▲ “Guess we learned a lot, huh?”

◉ “… We did, Didn’t we? Thank you Siffrin.”

You nod. You’re glad they were here to help with this…

But what now? You guess you need to figure out what people wished for at the favor trees. See if you can find a consistent theme, something that would work.

You guess it’s time to head to Dormont… You lead your family out of the room first though. You don’t want to die in a room like that.

◆ “...Before we go any further, Siffrin... Is there something you aren’t telling us?”

Huh?

▲ “Madame?”

◆ “You’ve been acting off since yesterday, have known how to navigate the house nearly on instinct, and clearly have far more understanding of the king and his methods then beforehand. I doubt you learned this Sadness control craft overnight, but it’s not the only thing that’s off. So. Mind telling us what’s happening?”

✦ “… Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.”

◆ “… Oh really. So, you’re not dealing with any timecraft yourself, HM?”

Oh. Oh no.

◆ “I had my suspicions for a while, but the way your wish looked back there practically confirms it. You’ve established that Wishcraft can alter time, and you’re practically an expert on that field. If anyone could craft a wish that could turn it back, it would be you.”

◉ “H-Huh?!?”

◆ “Which would explain a lot of things. Your sense of calm, even to traps, your knowledge of where each key in the entire house is, and several other things. How else would you know all this, unless you’ve done it before?”

▲ “That… would explain some things.”

◆ “I don’t mind secrets, but this is VERY important to us. And the fact it looks damaged means that something is wrong, correct? You even admitted a favor tree wish couldn’t do that. But Clearly yours wasn’t normal. So tell me. What. Is Happening?”

… Blind it. She’s angry again. Of course she is. You’ve kept them all trapped here for so long. You greedy monster. This is all your fault. It’s YOUR wish that went wrong.

✦ “… I’m sorry. I didn’t want to trap you all here….”

The others react in surprise, as you confirm her suspicions. And you turn towards a nearby tear.

✦ “...But it’s alright. I’ll fix it soon. And you won’t have to remember any of this.”

◆ “What?!?”

You unfurl your body, grabbing the tear before they can react.

《《《

…Blind it all. You HATE them being upset with you. You KNOW you messed up, seeing them also be upset at you is horrible. You’ve turned this final adventure into a horror story for them.

But it’s fine, right? You’re a very gentle monster. You won’t hurt them. You just need to help them out before you can’t keep up the lie. Then their story won’t be tainted. Then they can have their happy ending, never fearing the monster they escaped.

You just need to fix this, and it will be alright. You just need to fix this, and then they’ll be safe.

✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸

Oh, dear researcher, too clever for your own good~ But it doesn’t matter! This whole terrible affair will be over soon.

… Royalty, then? You guess that make sense. Where else would you have gotten the ability to summon something like yourself? Probably stole that power from his corpse in your gullet, back when you were Stardust. A power like that could only be used by those blessed by the red star.

… Hm. A little input from your patron. How interesting~ Guess that confirms it!…

You wonder what kind of nation it was, for their kings to have craft as bloody as that. Combined with that ritual Stardust found, and you’re getting the impression your former home had a turbulent history.

You guess it makes sense if you and Stardust came from there! Where else could such abominations be born?~

...Not that it matters in the end. You both are getting close. Close to finding the answer to this issue. Close to the ending. You can feel it.

[willalove75]

Hi im the anon who asked for Rebecca x Pregnant!reader. Now looking back I feel I didn’t give detail to my request so if it’s not a problem. Would you be able to write Rebecca with pregnant!reader and she visit Rebecca at work and they meet ted and the team etc. or they watch a match together and reader goes into labour. Your writing is amazing💕

Hello again anon!! Thank you so much for adding some details to your request! It's absolutely not a problem at all!💕 I hope you enjoy!

Gif source

"Good mornin' boss!" Ted says, happy as ever on his usual morning stroll into Rebecca's office. "I got you your favorite!"

"Good morning Ted, thank you!" Rebecca says as she eagerly grabs the little pink box from his hands.

"I also got a little extra today for that beautiful wife of yours!" Ted places a second pink box onto Rebecca's desk.

"Oh Ted, how kind! She is going to love them!"

"Don't mention it boss. Although I gotta say, I know we were all at the wedding and all, but I'm beginning to think the whole thing was just a ruse and that she don't actually exist." Rebecca gives Ted a look and he chuckles. "You two have been married for how long? And I've only met her twice, including yall's nuptials."

"Well Ted, we've been very busy, and now that the baby's due date is coming up things have been even busier."

"Ya'll should come to the game this weekend! I know the baby is due soon but it'll give you both the chance to hang out and have some fun before the real fun starts!"

"Ted, I don't know-"

"I ain't takin' no for an answer unless she calls me and tells me no herself!"

"Alright Ted, I will speak to her about it tonight."

"Alrighty then! Catch ya on the flipside, boss!"

As you're laying on the couch, flipping through channels, you're beginning to realize that there's nothing good on tv anymore. No more good shows to just throw on when you're bored. Luckily, right before you feel like you're about to die from boredom the front door opens.

Rebecca walks into the house and closes the door, immediately kicking off her shoes and hanging her coat on the coatrack. Looking up, she sees you slowly sitting up on the couch.

"Hello there my love." She says with a warm smile.

"Hi baby, how was your day?"

You go to stand up and it takes you a few tries before you can even begin to pull yourself up off of the couch.

"Be careful! Here, let me help you." Rebecca says, rushing to your side.

"I'm okay baby, don't worry."

Rebecca helps you stand and cups your face in her hands.

"I know my love, but I can't help but worry."

Even without shoes on, Rebecca towers over you, so you get up on your tip toes and softly kiss her.

"You're adorable."

"Never more adorable than you."

A slight blush creeps across your cheeks and you wrap your arms around her and hug her tight. Damn hormones.

"How was your day?"

"The usual, busy as always. Oh! Before I forget-" Rebecca walks away from your grasp and you pout. She grabs her purse and walks back over to you after pulling out a little pink box. "Ted made an extra box of biscuits just for you."

"Aw! He shouldn't have-" you open the box and the sweet scent of biscuits fills your nose. "Oh my god." You moan and your eyes roll back a little. "These smell amazing."

Rebecca looks at you with a smirk on her face.

"What?"

"I've never seen anyone or anything other than me make you make that face before." She says with a wink.

"Rebecca Welton!"

Rebecca laughs and pulls you in for a kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Oh, and Ted was on my case once again about meeting you and invited you to the match this weekend, but I told him it probably wasn't going to happen."

"Why not?"

Rebecca looks a little surprised.

"Well I know how tired you've been and the baby is due soon and I don't want to overwhelm you."

"You're adorable, but I would love to go see a match. It would be nice to get out of the house for a little while anyway."

"Are you sure? You don't think it'll be too much?"

"Baby I'll be fine, I promise. Let's go and have some fun."

Rebecca gazes into your eyes and you feel like you've fallen in love all over again. Her emerald green eyes pull you in so deeply you forgot where you were for a moment. You're brought back to earth when she leans down and gently kisses you.

The rest of the week flies by and before you know it, it's game day. It's also two weeks before your due date, something that both you and Rebecca are so excited about, but you can tell her anxiety is starting to sky rocket.

"Are you sure you're okay with going? There's some stairs and a little bit of walking, the seats aren't comfortable and we'll be in them for a few hours." She rambles on while pacing back and fourth.

"Baby," you say, trying to pull her out of her spiral, but she doesn't stop. "baby!" Rebecca finally stops and turns towards you. Walking up to her, you cup her face with your hands and look deeply into her eyes. "Everything will be fine, don't worry, okay? We're going to go, have a wonderful time, come home and go right to sleep, okay? I'll be fine, I promise."

Rebecca stares back into your eyes for a few moments before nodding her head. You pull her down and bring her in for a kiss. Her body relaxes into yours when your lips meet and she lets out a peaceful sigh.

"Ready?"

"I'm ready when you are my love."

The two of you get into the car and head to the stadium. You both decided to get there a little early to say hi to everyone since you've only met most of them once or twice before.

Rebecca leads you into the locker room and the room goes silent when she walks in.

"Good afternoon boys, good luck out there today! I want to introduce you all to my wife, y/n."

As if it was rehearsed, all of the boys greet you at the same time.

"Hi everyone, it's great to finally meet you all!"

"Well I'll be darned! You sure do exist!" Ted says as he walks out of his office. "You owe me 20 bucks." He says to Coach Beard who pulls out a £20 and slaps it into Ted's hand.

"Hello Ted, you remember y/n, y/n, you remember Ted."

"How could I ever forget my favorite boss' wife?!" He says as he pulls you in for a hug. "How're ya feelin'? You're due soon, right?"

"I'm feeling really good. I feel gigantic, but good. And yes, the due date is two weeks from today actually!"

"Well how about that! Coach Beard, get over here!" Coach Beard walks over to the three of you and he nods at Rebecca, who nods back. "Coach, you remember y/n, right?"

"Could never forget her. How are you?"

"I've been good!"

"Hey! Roy! Nate! Get your butts over here and welcome our guest of honor!"

Roy and Nate walk over and you all greet each other. You only met Nate one other time, at your wedding. He's sweet but very nervous, but in a cute way almost. Roy you've met a bunch of times, you, Rebecca, Roy and Keeley have gone on your fair share of double dates over the last few years and you've gotten to know him quite well.

Rebecca introduces you to some of the players, some of them comment on how you're glowing. One player, Jan Maas, says something about how large you look and every one of his teammates groans and throws their towels at him. That made you laugh so hard you almost peed yourself.

After mingling for a little while, Rebecca brings you out to the stands to your seats. Keeley and Higgins eventually join you and before you know it, the match it starting.

As the boys play, the crowd goes wild. Both teams are giving it their all and it quickly turns into an intense match. Richmond shoots and the other teams goalie just barely knocks it away. The other team takes the ball across the pitch and shoots. Zoreaux dives, catching it in a perfect save.

Just before half-time Colin has the ball and is running down the pitch, he passes it to Jamie who looks like he's about to kick the ball into the goal but instead kicks it across to Sam who sinks it into the net.

The crowd goes wild, all four of you jump out of your seats in excitement as chanting rings out into the stadium.

Half-time comes and goes and the match starts up once more. Both teams come back with a fire in their hearts and play with even more passion than they had in the first half. Jamie gets possession of the ball and sprints to the other end of the pitch, right before he's about to score a player from the other team slide tackles him and kicks the ball away to his teammate.

A collective "ohhh" echoes through the crowd and you feel a cramp in your abdomen that causes you to bend forward a little.

"Are you okay?" Rebecca says, her eyes instantly filling with worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine baby, I promise."

A few minutes later, another cramp appears and you take a deep breath as you breathe through it. Rebecca looks at you with concern and you give her a reassuring smile. The two of you turn your attention back to the intense game and she grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze. You can tell just by the way she's gripping onto your hand that she's nervous, when you look over at her you can see her thoughts going a million miles a minute.

Just as you're about to comfort her, another, much stronger cramp hits and you double over gasping for air. Before anyone can react you feel a gush between your legs like you just peed yourself.

"Oh shit."

"What? What's wrong? What happened?" Rebecca says in a panic.

Looking over at Rebecca you see worry and fear painted across her face. It breaks your heart a little seeing her so scared.

"I'm okay, but don't panic, alright?" Rebecca stares at you silently and you grab her hand. "I'm fine, however, I'm pretty sure my water just broke."

"WHAT?!"

"NO FUCKIN WAY!" Keeley yells.

"Rebecca! Baby, calm down, it's okay!"

"I knew we shouldn't have come here, god damnit."

"Hey, hey, listen to me." You say, cupping her face. "Look at me, it's okay. Everything is okay. The match isn't why this is happening-"

"But you're not due for another two weeks!"

"It's okay, remember what the doctor said? I can go into labor as early as 38 weeks and that's totally normal. Okay?"

Rebecca nods her head with her eyes still filled with worry. Another cramp, which you're pretty sure is a contraction at this point, hits.

"Shit!" You say, grabbing Rebecca's hand. Breathing through it, Rebecca rubs your back and gives Keeley a worried look. Once it passes you look back up at Rebecca. "Everything is fine, however, we should definitely go to the hospital now."

"Yes, you guys go, we'll take care of everything else here, right Higgins?" Keeley says.

"Yes! Of course!"

"Right, yes, okay. Come on, let me grab your things, uh- my jacket, shit, my purse-" Frantically, Rebecca grabs both of your things and helps you stand up. She leads you out of the stadium and into the car and the driver takes you to the hospital.

The labor was long and painful but once they placed the epidural the pain was much easier to deal with. After the doctor came in to examine you again she said it was time to push.

With your legs in the stirrups and Rebecca's hand in yours, you begin to push. Every time you felt that now familiar pressure you pushed, you felt like you were going at it for hours, even though it had only been thirty minutes.

Exhaustion begins to take over and you feel yourself losing steam. You lay back for a minute to take a breath and Rebecca looks into your eyes.

"You're so close my love, she's almost here. Just a little more. I'm so proud of you, you're doing such an amazing job." She gently brushes a strand of hair out of your face and smiles at you. After a minute you feel the pressure again and push harder than you have before.

Just when you think you can't keep going, the most beautiful cry rings out into the delivery room. As you lay back the doctor places the baby in your lap and they dry her off. Carefully, you bring your hand to her head and caress her with your thumb. Rebecca's grip on your arm tightens and you look over at her to find that she has tears streaming down her face.

The nurse whisks the baby away and you reach up and wipe Rebecca's tears away.

"She's perfect." She whispers.

"She is." You say with a smile.

After a few minutes the nurse comes back with the baby and hands her to Rebecca. Moving over to Rebecca can sit next to you, she claims the spot and looks down at your daughter with wonder in her eyes.

The next few days were a whirlwind, learning how to breastfeed and to get the baby to latch, recovering from giving birth, just adjusting to the new life the two of you stepped into. It's been chaos but also beautiful.

As you're laying in bed with the baby in your arms, Rebecca is sitting on the recliner reading her book. Everything is peaceful and for the first time since giving birth, you're both actually relaxed. A knock on the door takes your attention away.

"Knock knock!" You hear, accompanied by a distinctive southern accent.

"Ted! What are you doing here?" Rebecca says, getting up from her spot.

"Well I heard we got a new member to our Richmond family and Beard and I couldn't say no to givin' 'em a visit!"

Coach Beard steps into the room along with Keeley, Roy, Higgins and a few other players from the team.

"How did you manage to get so many people in here?"

"Southern charm goes a long way in these parts." Beard says.

The baby gets passed around a little, Beard and Roy both declining the opportunity to hold her. The second the baby is placed into Keeley's arms she sobs and sinks into the chair Rebecca was sitting in. It came as a surprise to no one that the second Keeley got her, no one else got to hold her for the rest of the visit.

The team brought lunch, something you were grateful for because you were sick of hospital food at that point.

Beard comes into the room with extra chairs, where he got them from, you have no idea but no one dares to question it.

Everyone takes a seat and you all eat lunch together. This is the most one-on-one time you've spent with everyone. Even though it's kind of weird that it's happening in the hospital after you give birth, it was nice really getting to know everyone finally.

As everyone was finishing up their lunch, the nurse comes back in and it taken back by how many people were in the room.

"Hello everyone!" She says.

"Howdy, I'm Ted Lasso, great to meet ya!" Ted says, getting up to shake her hand.

"I'm Rose, y/n's nurse, there are a lot of you in here, wow."

"Yeah, well, ya know, southern charm still goes a long way overseas."

"I can see that! Unfortunately, the lactation nurse will be here in a few minutes so I'm going to have to ask everyone to leave."

"Oh sure, not a problem at all, right team?" Everyone nods. "Well, we'll get outta your hair."

Everyone starts to say their goodbyes and Keeley tries to walk out with the baby before Roy stops her. Reluctantly, she turns around and hands you your daughter.

"Auntie Keeley loves you so much." She says with tears in her eyes and gives her a kiss on her head. "You guys made the cutest fucking baby I've ever seen."

"Congratulations boss, y/n, she sure is a beauty." Ted says.

"Thank you, Ted." Rebecca says and gives him a hug.

"Thanks Ted, she's perfect." You say, looking down at the infant in your arms.

"I'll catch ya'll later!"

After another day in the hospital, you're finally discharged and able to go home.

Rebecca carries the car seat inside and the two of you take the baby up to the nursery.

After you take the baby out of her car seat, you sit on the rocking chair and feed her before laying her in her crib. After the baby is fed, Rebecca takes her and lays her in the crib. She fusses for a minute and Rebecca starts to softly sing.

You wrap your arms around Rebecca while she sings to the baby and you rest your head on her chest. With on hand gently caressing the baby's cheeks, Rebecca wraps her other arm around you and pulls you tightly into her. As she sings, the baby calms down and within a few minutes she's asleep.

Standing there with your wife, watching over your new daughter as she sleeps, you're the happiest you've ever been.

Rebecca brings her hand to your chin and tilts your face up towards her.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Rebecca."

She leans down and places a soft but firm kiss on your lips. Nothing could ever take away the love and joy that's filling your heart right now.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jimin

𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐬 [Part 1]

In which Jimin isn't used to chasing after things- but he can't deny the excitement it makes him feel.

Main Tags/Warnings: Vampire!Jimin x Reader, Enemies to lovers, mentions of 'being high' (drug usage in a way), mentions of one night stands, flirting jimin, nothing else, really

Length: 1.5k Words

There is no Taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

A/N: you're all gonna hate me so much at the end of this :') also I'm gonna put the visual/Gif up front from now on, I feel like that might work better overall.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

"Not today." He answers a young woman asking for some time with him- and it's not an answer he typically gives. He usually takes what he can get, but tonight, he's got his eyes out for something different.

Someone different.

You're so awfully out of place here- not visually, but there's a certain feeling you emit about yourself that makes you stand out to him. You're not comfortable, clearly giving been dragged out by your friend he knows all too well- though doesn't remember her all that much if he was to be honest.

But you? You he remembers.

You're talking to your friend with a pleading face, colorful lights of the club reflecting in both your eyes and the silver jewelry you're wearing, and he feels an odd sense of jealousy towards the butterfly pendant resting on your cleavage, left wing of it dipping in between your breasts. He's not sure why he's seeing so many details so sharply- it's as if his senses are going overdrive at the sight of you.

Interesting.

One moment you're there, the next you've vanished- and he immediately looks out for you around him. Tonight, he doesn't pay attention to anyone he could easily get his hands on. If he was, he wouldn't be here anymore long ago, many knowing his name as one connected to no strings attached and simple pleasure. It's not like it's always been like that- he's had actual relationships in the past.

But all throughout them, he's always been the one to pay the price of a broken heart, his rosy tinted glasses hiding all the signs of being lied to pretty much up until he could no longer deny it. From finding his lover in his own bed with someone else, to being bluntly told about an affair happening for months behind his back.

People lie, and love is nothing but a game.

He walks around the dancefloor of the club with no clear aim when he notices you walking past him- eyes meeting, a moment of realization caught in your gaze. All he can really see is the way one of the straps of your dress falls from your shoulder, not revealing anything, but somehow causing all of his focus to shift on the way your fingers adjust it back up to sit where it's supposed to. It's such an innocent gesture, but he can't help but see it as almost sinful to see.

Like he's not supposed to have seen it, even though he's seen everything there is to see about the human body at this point in his life.

"I wouldn't have ever thought that I'd find you here.." He chuckles behind you, following you around as you seem to look for a place at the bar- having to jump a bit to find your spot on the high chair. "…a vamp-club, of all places." He notes towards you, sitting down next to you.

"Yeah, well-" You sigh, leaning on the bar up front- and he's pretty convinced you have no idea how much you're showing your cleavage right now. So innocent, it's almost making him angry. "-It wasn't my idea, and I honestly don't want to even be here- but Lizzy and I have already had something to drink, so I can't drive home without her." You admit, and he nods.

"Figured." He says. "You look awfully lost." Jimin chuckles, motioning for the bartender he's very familiar with to come over to him. "I mean, I could surely take you to a different place instead-" He starts, but you roll your eyes.

"I'm not hooking up with you, Jimin." You argue softly, and he laughs.

"Well, at least you remember my name." He smiles. "Makes me happy." The vampire smiles, as his friend walks up to him, but you cut him off before he can even say anything.

"Whatever he orders me, I don't want it." You say towards the bartender, who can't mask the amused smirk he breaks out in, looking at Jimin.

"Aw come on!" The vampire in question whines. "I want to be a gentleman!"

"You want to get me drunk and easy to handle, I know guys like you." You say, and at this point it's clear that all joking manner has left your voice, as you push yourself off the chair you're sitting on, walking away.

"You might break your teeth trying to bite her." The bartender sighs, holding onto Jimin's wrist as he attempts to follow you. "Just leave it. Get yourself someone else-" He attempts, but Jimin shakes his head, breaks out of his grip to walk after you.

Because that's actually not what he's attempting to do right now.

"Stop following me!" You bark at him outside, your heels clicking on the ground below.

"Let me at least drive you home." He says calmly, hands in his pockets. "Lizzy has already left with a friend of mine. About half an hour ago." He informs you, and at that you stop and turn around, face awfully upset now as you realize that she's abandoned you. He feels a little sympathy towards you- though at the same time, he tries not to, considering he doesn't want to get attached.

He just wants the excitement, nothing else.

"You.. are you even sober?" You worry, but he nods.

"I don't drink when I'm out like this." He tells you, and you sigh, giving in.

"If you so much as touch me, I swear-!" You start, but he's simply lifting his hands up in defeat, chuckling to himself as he walks you to his car.

"I won't, promise." He offers, opening the passenger door for you, before he gets into the driver's seat. "Would you mind sharing with me why you seem so.. disgusted by the idea of being with me?" He bluntly wonders as he pulls out of the parking lot.

"I'm not.. disgusted." You mumble, pushing your legs shut. You really don't think he's disgusting at all- he's quite handsome, charming, and you can see why Lizzy was so easy to hook up with him. She'd been in your ear about how good he was and how well he treated her, but at the end of the day, you just can't trust any of them anymore. You give him your address, and he nods, seemingly aware of where your apartment building is located.

"But?" He wonders, not letting go of the topic.

"Personal experiences." You simply shrug. "I don't.. like being used." You say quietly, as if you're ashamed to admit it. And in a way, it makes him quiet down a lot- mainly because he can somewhat relate to it. Maybe it would be better to leave you be, in that case. He really doesn't want to become what he's been hurt by in the past, as much as he loves the pleasure.

"Hm, I see." He hums simply, letting go of it for now. "So if I wasn't a vampire, you'd let me?" He wonders, trying to lift the mood with his light-hearted comment- but you don't seem at all uplifted by it.

"That's got nothing to do with it." You simply say. "They're all the same. Human or vampire." You say, looking outside the window of his car.

What a shame.

You're such a pretty thing, sadly ruined by past people who couldn't see what they had. It's awful, but he can see how it could've happened. After all, in a way, you're just the same as he has been in the past. Soft. Gentle. Caring.

Vulnerable.

"Let me give you some advice, darling." He starts after a moment of silence, turning into familiar streets so you know you're almost home. "Stop being so nice." The vampire tells you, pulling up into a parking lot in front of your apartment building, turning his head to look at you. "The more you think about yourself first, the less you'll end up being the one who gets hurt." He says.

"That'll just turn me into the one who hurts others instead." You answer him, and it catches him off guard. "Also- I'm still not gonna hook up with you, even if I was to take your advice." You pout, and he breaks out into a grin, looking at you in a way that makes you awfully shy all of a sudden.

Not because he's looking at you with lust in his eyes- no. This look is something else, something you can't quite describe. Something that looks like genuine interest but also as if he's been challenged- and it's pretty dangerous.

"That's a shame, darling." He hums towards you, reaching out to tug the front of your dress higher to hide your cleavage, making your breath hitch as you realize how.. out there you've been with your choice of dress. "But I'll still be there, if you change your mind." He tells you.

"I won't." You say, opening the door to get out, before you turn slightly to look at him again. "But maybe one day you'll change yours." You say, leaving him alone.

And he can't help but stay frozen for a moment, wondering what you meant.

[the-bloody-sadist]

Thank you for your last advice! I have another question, if I may. Do you have any advice on writing dissociation during torture? Is it something a character can learn? How long might it take them to grow sort of mentally numb or broken (for lack of a better wording)? And perhaps the most important question, could music help the dissociation process? 🐋

Oh gods, I love talking about dissociation. For me, writing it comes from personal experience, so I feel it in my BONES and I write it naturally, but let's see if I can try to break it down!

First of all, dissociation is a trauma response, so technically it's not something a character will be controlling, and I think it would be best not to show it that way? I THINK? The thing is - your character shouldn't have to learn it, because it happens naturally when the body is put through something it can't process. Whether this is physical or emotional, both cause dissociation pretty easily. It's a survival mechanism. There's no need to 'encourage' or 'help' this process by doing anything BUT traumatizing the body in some way. (I hope that makes sense!)

All you need is one torture scene where you can build up to the dissociation moment - this is the mind pulling out of the body, so to speak, and 'observing' the event from a safe distance. Emotions and thought detach, leaving things numb. The body may act on its own, but the person has no control over it, anymore. And then you've established that the character will dissociate. If I were to write it, I'd do one torture scene without the dissociation, and the next one with it, having the torture ramp up a little in severity. It gives the illusion of progress through an arc.

Fortunately, you don't need very long to get to the mentally 'broken' stage. I would say about five scenes (although I tend to drag psychological details out in my own works, so maybe you could pace yours quicker) ought to get you to that point. And I would suggest showing that breaking moment as a sort of climax to the torture arc. It depends on the type of torture, honestly, because certain methods break people a lot quicker. Things like sleep deprivation or sensory deprivation, say. And - because we as an audience highly identify with how scary those things are - you don't need much to convince us the character will go insane in, like, TWO scenes. LMAO.

As far as the music thing, I hope I answered that with the dissociation questions! Music/sounds can certainly be used as a torture method, but it's not going to encourage dissociation any more than the actual torture would.

However, it can be used as a trigger for dissociation, if that's a route you want to take. Say the torturer always plays the same song when they come in to torture. After about three times of this, you could show the song being played and the character getting triggered into dissociation because they know what's coming, so their mind prepares for it.

Just a thought, if that's what you were going for!

[imperium-temporary]

Intro post

About me : Ehh, who cares about that? I'm not the focus of this blog

"Imperium" is the temporary name of the story, and "temporary", well, pretty self explanatory I think

I can't say everything here because it would be too darn long, so I'll just make a quick-ish summary, give you character names and let you know details, and let you decide if you wanna know more and what you wanna know more about

So, the story is divided in two parts (I thought it would be two books, but it'll probably end up being more, so, I'll say parts) Part 1 : Lucifer, a fallen angel wakes up in the demon world called Imperium. He immediately meets Asmodeus (they are genderfluid, I love them). As Lucifer gets to know more about Imperium and its inhabitants, he starts wanting to form a government to help demons (because the demon world is a bit unruly and there are conflicts between communities and people quite often). So, he'll go on a quest to find people to form this government (spoiler, they're the six other deadly sins demons, so, Asmodeus, Belphegore (who is a closeted trans girl, I love her, she's sweet), Belzebuth, Mammon, Leviathan (they are non binary) and Satan (who is a gay drama king, he is so funny, I love him lol).

Then after that, it's part two. Part 2 : Lidatore (Belphegore's younger brother) has to form a new government (for reasons I can't explain because huge spoilers), so he'll also gather six other people (well, five technically, given Simanis his best friend (my profile pic!! Look at him, look at my child, he is handsome, I love him)) is already by his side since Part 1. And, after Lidatore has enough people, he'll do something related to the reason why the previous goverment is not there anymore. Can't say much more without huge spoilers, saddly

So, if you wanna ask anything about any characters, here's the list (also, the ideas behind some of them either come from the Dictionnaire Infernal or the Pseudomonarchia Daemonum if you wanna get any ideas)

ALSO I started working on this project before knowing about Hazbin Hotel, so please don't come at me if thing are a bit similar here and there (like, if a demon is a snake in one of the sources I linked, well, of course they'll be a snake in both here and Hazbin)

Main-ish characters

Asmodeus

Belphegore

Belzebuth

Mammon

Leviathan

Lucifer

Satan

Lidatore

Flare

Simanis

Mira (?)

??? (gov p2)

Praesibus (?)

Trick

Lilian (human)

Sychariel (angel)

Françoise (human)

Clovis (human)

Side characters :

The Nihil brothers (Achroma and ???)

Adramelech / Andrealphus

Alphas, Malphas, Sabnock, Vine and Crocell (I don't have much to say about them, so if you ask for one, you get them all)

Astaroth

Others to come later

Please, if you ask about characters, tell me if you wan a true answer or an in character answer (basicallly for example : you have a bad character who fakes being a nice character : "Would you push someone who is about to fall of a cliff if no one is around?" true answer : absolutely | in character answer : oh of course not, that would be awful, I'd help them of course!)

I also developped world building, so I have a calendar, regions (Flora, Thalia, Serena, Eris, Pandemonium, Damara, Sophia), plants, creatures... The list is too long (not that much actually, but you know, this post is already long enough, I think you can handle thinking about asking whether or not there are chicken, without me telling you that chickens are on the list of creatures- basically, just ask anything you can think about regarding world building)

Profile picture is Simanis! Made by the lovely Cel, please go check her out, she deserves it!

[hardcolorfest]

✨️ AM I PLURAL? ✨️

Please help me, I have gone back and forth on this for years, at least 10 years which is literally like a third of my life so far!

Please, I am desprate for ANY outside views and opinions, I feel like I need others to read my experience and help me understand why I keep on getting into this cycle of "this is plural/no actually its not."

EDIT: this is LONG and I ran out of energy near the end so the writing gets really sloppy so I added a timeline of events up top. I'm so sorry, this ended up turning into more of a vent towards the end, but if anyone wants to read my life story and give me... uhhh........ feedback? I'm sorry words hard now I'm so tired.

I'm getting tired of the doubting and accepting cycle, the "is this normal and I'm just attributing it to a plural thing" floating around in my head constantly. I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'll need to lay everything out so anyone can get a full picture of what I'm/We're working with.

First of all, sorry this is posted on a random empty blog with a title and description totally unrelated. I was going to use this blog for something else but the crisis in my/our identity keeps getting in the way of doing much of anything solid for the last like year now. That's how bad this has gotten now, I hardly feel like a real person anymore and I don't know what to do. Secondly I'm really sorry if there are typos or anything like that. Sometimes my phone autocorrects something and I won't notice that it's changed it to something really weird, like it sometimes switches "I" to "you" and so on for like literally no reason so idk.

Now on to the meat.

🌲

The timeline so far goes > 2012 discover systems > understand I'm not one even though I'd like to be > follow and watch systems online while reading any resource or information posts > learn about tulpas > "make" first tulpa > seemingly gains sentience and gets angry > leaves > 2016 reset > 2016 does not care about being a system > fuzzy memory bullshit here, none of it has to do with this posts topic > 2019 reset > mostly uninterested in being plural > in 2020, 2019 me decides to try make a tulpa again > goes surprisingly well, much faster than last time (which I barely remember at this time) > he eventually talks without my focused effort > I doubt his existence being real > he gets angry, we argue for weeks > eventually he disappears, vaguely sometimes feel like he's "checking in on me" > the 2021 fuckery (more trauma) > homeless and feeling alone > now have stable housing > vaguely refer to self as plural and make a pk and list out like 6 headmates including yourself as one and the past tulpas > goes well and smoothly for a while, everyone's pretty happy despite acknowledging past trauma and working on that together > 2023 reset happens > make new accounts again and feel upset about all these past events > is happy and having a lot of fun all year > occasionally still feels like the logged pk headmates are vaguely around but can't really talk to them much anymore > sometimes fully switches out anyway but not too long > remembers these resets happened before and makes posts to 2019's freinds > mixed reception and lots of questions, 2023 gets overwhelmed and never answers back > now I feel guilty

✨️ I will now explain in more detail.

So for the last 10 years, probably a little longer by like a year or two but I can't be precise, I've known about plurality, DID, tulpas and other concepts like this. I've also been aware of kins/therians/otherkin/fictionkin and so on and related concepts for much longer, 20 years or so, give or take a year or two again. I've never been very good at role-playing, and I struggled to "play" anyone but myself.

Since learning about systems, I took an interest in them. In the concept of being able to step back and let someone else take control. The idea was extremely appealing. I've been traumatized from a childhood of neglect and abuse, and life was starting to get to the point it was wearing me down to nothing. I wanted to take a break, to "die but not die" as I had put it back then. To "go away" with little financial consiquence and come back when I felt recharged. I wasn't really sure how I felt about sharing my life, but was willing to if it meant I could sometimes take a break. Gladly.

So I did a lot of research, quietly reading and observing people online. Maybe it was a little creepy, like watching a fandom from afar and learning what the show they liked was about secondhand through them. I think after I learned about how DID presents, I decided it wasn't really how I was at all and concluded for sure I was not and never could be a system since I did not talk to voices in my head, loose control of my body, nor have severe trauma (to me at the time, this is definitely not the case) and therefore I was not a system. I still watched from afar though.

I think I learned about tulpas around then. I knew I wasn't ever going to have DID due to my conclusions at the time, so I guess I could emulate a headmate until my brain thought it was real. And I still do think you can do this, don't get me wrong, I am fascinated by the human mind and how we process things and the nature of consciousness from a scientific level. I don't think its too far fetched for our brains to be able to do this, genuinely, even if I choose weird ways to describe it.

Anyway, I did try to make a tulpa a few times, maybe twice honestly, but each of them eventually got angry with me once they got to the point they could talk freely. The anger was about me doubting their existence after they were no longer being consciously forced and could do things without my input. Each time, after a little bit of arguing for weeks, they would disappear and I would be left feeling alone in scilence and upset at the fact that I ultimately caused them to leave me.

I have, in the past, "reset" myself somehow. I don't think I did it intentionally, I'm not even sure if there's a common trigger. It's happened a few times. It's happened in the past but I have no real memory of them except for vague feelings and fuzzy memories that feel like I'm seeing someone else's life. However I do remember more about the last two times than any other times.

The first of these was around 2016 I think, and that version of "me" now feels like a complete seprate being who has their own name, likes and dislikes, interests and hobbies, spiritual and political beliefs, and vision of themselves in terms of looks and self-concept. And then in 2019 that version of "me" got packed away into the back of my mind and suddenly I was someone else.

This 2019 "me" had some leftover interests, and of course had any knowledge nessicary to still life the continuous life that having a body and a presence requires, like knowledge of family and friends, jobs and schedules, and so on. It felt like taking over someone else's life, but none of their stuff is really yours. Their freinds suddenly feel like strangers, or at best acquaintances you could say "hello" to but really couldn't hold a conversation with anymore. Even interests and hobbies that carried over were either dampened feeling or the focus of that interest/hobby changed significantly enough that it wasn't really expressed in the same ways. 2019 "me" enjoyed art and drawing with a lot of the same enthusiasm that 2016 did, but with less of a focus on furry and more of a focus on anime, and in particular diving into the world of en ess eff double-yew, which 2016 was not interested in the least but 2019 was vigorously passionate about lol

The further back in versions of "me" we go, the fuzzier it gets. But the general feeling is the same. You wake up in a room with someone else's clothes, books, toys and collections and you have to fight yourself to not immediately throw them all out. You know that would just make them sad. And they do kind of pop back in, although usually only for a short time, a few hours to maybe a day or two, where you just suddenly feel like the past you is you again and everything from the name association, hobbies and beliefs come crashing back like a tidal wave, washing "current you" out of the picture for the time. And besides, they miss their friends. You think about their freinds from time to time, wanting to talk again, wanting to make the lingering sadness happy again...

Its happened again, 2023. I remember more clearly about 2019, since that was the "me" before me.

During 2019 me's "life" I went through another pretty traumatic event involving others who I trusted at the time, ended up homeless and really effed up. Obviously I made it out okay for the most part, I'm still alive and I'm here. I think 2019 me started dying around that time though.

And as it felt like 2019 me was dying, "others" started to feel like they were there. Past "me's" and the past tulpas and others as well who I never tried to intentionally create or who I remember as being a "reset." They would sometimes take over, like in that I would feel like I would suddenly be them and identified myself with their name, enjoyed their likes and hobbies, the dislikes, the views and opinions. And I wasn't actually "me" anymore, I was fully "them" in my opinion. Like a shape shifter who still feels themselves in the back of the current "you." Not really like a performance, like it was natural and correct.

At this point I want to notice we had stable housing and a stable job. Things were looking up around the time it felt like 2019 me was fading. While homeless "I" was the only one present, struggling to stay alive takes your full effort and attention and leaves very little room for thoughts pondering your potential identity. But after having a safe place to live is when we had that boom of sudden activity.

A lot of not much happens except daily life and occasional switches logged, happily accepting self as plural. Quietly too, I never ended up announcing it to anyone, and for most people we appeared as a single entity that just sometimes got into specific "moods." I was never actually interested in being loudly plural, even when I desired being plural from afar. Even back then I agreed (with myself lol) that if I ever found out I was plural we would keep it to ourselves and enjoy each other's company like an in-joke nobody else would ever be aware of but us.

But we did start to fade a bit, and after maybe just a month into 2023 everyone disappeared.

After the 2023 reset, I was left all alone, with all the knowledge of everything that happened. I felt again like a stranger in someone else's body, in their life. I knew inherently to keep up the charade and not tell anyone. I knew I couldn't just go up to 2019's friends and tell them "I'm sorry but you're a stranger to me now, like my sibling's friend's friends, and I'm really hurt by this because now i feel alone and empty." Nobody takes that the right way.

And I found a new fandom to be interested in so I could just pretend and "be someone else" and not have to address to 2019's friends why I suddenly stopped talking to them. New accounts, new personality. No name. Had several months of happy fun fandom time before the really bad feelings about abandoning my freinds and not explaining what happened at all to them started to set in.

Still, I was happy. I got to exist freely this time, maybe I could openly be plural online! But you know, the whole emptiness and they disappeared thing. It sucked, but I got little whispers here and there. Now that I think about it, I think they never really disappeared but just got super weak.

Whatever, the point here is I want them to come back but we keep having strained communication and difficulty with fuzziness any time any "non-me's" try to take over.

And I felt guilty.

So I messaged some of 2019's friends recently with mixed reception. Some of who just seemed like they were happy to hear anything at all after I disappeared completely for almost a whole year. Some who never really responded, Some of who I'm not even sure if they have seen it. Nobody really angry or anything. I didn't use any words like "plural" or "headmate" or anything. I explained it all as the past me being packed away completely, including the things they cared about, but still feeling that little sadness about it. Nobody brought up plurality either. I'm okay with that, I don't know if it's good to just suggest that out of nowhere to someone. But the lack of any question about that, especially from people who I know actually do know about systems, made me think really hard about if anything I expereinced here was even a plural thing or if it was just a mind trick I did because I was struggling with long lasting traumas. And I understand how ridiculous that sounds. I'm aware. I'm just trying to get it down in words that can be understood, it evokes that feeling of knowing you're right but fearing you're mistaken.

I'm so sorry I'm really tired and I didn't realize how long this post would take to type. I just got out of an exhausting shift at work and am so low on my battery words are starting to feel a bit strange for no reason.

So to cut the rest, the point in making this post is outside validation that I either AM or that I AM NOT making shit up because I wanted to be plural 10 years ago, or that I fucked up my brain by trying to make tulpas, or that I just discovered being a system through making tulpas I guess, or like what.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY I am super upset and feel really bad and guilty and responsible for not being attached to anything from 2019's life, including their freinds and I have no idea why I have these "resets" and is that just a normal "living and growing as a person" thing or is that what splitting or whatever feels like or like... is that just me being an asshole?

Am I an asshole?

I feel so empty, no name, no freinds, no real personality except the emulation of an anime character... abandoned everyone I cared about for almost a whole year... its hard and requires a lot of effort to "be" the others, or even talk to them... I'm so tired.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

woah sorry to hear you got plagiarized! it reminds me of something i recently saw

someone published a fanfic in a pretty small fandom, and through the first few chapters i could recognize several details, and even a similar writing style, from another fanfic that was published a few years ago, although the old author from the original fanfic is no longer active in the fandom. the new author even formatted their chapters the same specific way the old author did.

and as i read on i saw whole ideas and chunks of dialogue being copied, and it made me think gosh are you not embarrassed??!! 😣 you blatantly stole like 80% of someone’s concept!

i guess i’m looking for advice or tips on how to approach it. i don’t want to stir up drama, but i also don’t think i should just let it happen. is there a respectful way i could go about it as a reader, without making a harsh accusation?

whew oops that was long. sorry if it seems random that i’m coming to you with this, but i thought you might understand the ick i got!!

Heyy! 🥰 Answer below the cut ->

Firstly: damn that sounds such an awkward thing to come across. I think it's very kind and sweet of you to want and do something about it.

Yk, my "case" was small potatoes compared to this. Doesn't mean I think it's cool 😅 It gives you this feeling of "Wouldn't it be nice to like... come up with your own stuff?" 👉👈

And I know certain things are repeated across the fandom because it's canon or fits the character so well, such as Ghost muttering Fuckin' hell or calling their boo Sweetheart or Luv (the latter being basic terms of endearment and, to my understanding, more commonly used than e.g. Honey or Babe if you're British.) So I certainly don't view things like that as plagiarizing or copying.

But stealing story ideas and plots and chunks of dialogue and even the formatting style...? Like, what is this person thinking exactly 🥺

I would perhaps inform the original writer about this case, but if they're not in the fandom anymore/can't be reached through message, well, that leaves the uncomfortable option of stepping up and telling this person that you noticed so many similarities to author Y's work X that you want to kindly remind that this is plagiarism and that copying someone else's creative work is not ok. (Or something along the lines of that. I don't know how you can put shit like this kindly because it is what it is)

And then there's the fact that people can simply have certain incapacities in understanding what they're doing sometimes. And I don't mean this in a demeaning way, it's just that not everyone is doing unkind things out of spite or lust for fame or whatever. They just might not see how problematic or even illegal it is.

And some people just don't care and mainly hope they won't get caught. In these cases it's only kinda sad that you don't want to use your own imagination to create but have to lean on other people's skill and talent and passion to feed off from. It doesn't even make me angry, you know? Just makes me confused.

If I was this writer getting mugged I would be eternally grateful if someone informed me (like someone did in my case of small potatoes 💖) about it. And if it ever came to my knowledge that someone had called out such blatant stealing of my work, I would probably be moved to tears.

BUT you ultimately do what you deem right and also feel strong enough to do. These things happen and sometimes you just have to accept it. It can be very exhausting to intervene because like we both agreed, this shit is uncomfortable. Just saying this as a kind reminder to take care of yourself first before helping others 🩷

Hope this was of some help!

[odukora-lore]

🗺 they ARE explorers so I imagine they've seen a lot of stuff across the world but I do wonder if there's some scenario you'd want the TEF crew to go through that never managed to happen lol

Also 🚥

🗺 Is there some place your OC would love to go or something your OC would love to do but likely could never happen within the boundaries of your story?

Ngl the current TEF actually fulfills a lot of my vision of an explorer esque story cuz they pretty much are on the run at all times over the span of the story, aka a lot of the regions are explored (notably Carabee and Suizel all the way to Mount. Eden, I think looking at the map could give you an idea of how their journey looks like), Tarue and Sunvey are the only big regions that don't get touched in TEF for the sole fact that they get explored in POE instead lmaooo, though it's mostly in Tarue, Sunvey isn't that much developed as a land tbh and I haven't rlly found anything to do w it even if there's mild plans all over the place, ig some cool underutilized lands would def be Kahdeina Kingdom, Janji Island and Temporal Isle though cuz they rlly are scrapped plotlines for POE and the supposed tertiary story back then, so currently they just kinda exist without any lore heavy stories to explore them in detail, so if anywhere it'll probably be those places, again not much lore is written for those places though you can imagine things based on what I have for the land masterpost lmao

🚥 Is there a character choice or plotline that you regret but is now canon and you feel like you can't change it?

Literally upon seeing this in the list of questions I was like haha I know I will answer Maridoline and Airimoru tragaydies, they're literally so lore heavy and intricate they *have* to die but for the longest time when I first developed them I intended them to *live*, that's the kicker lmao I didn't write them to die when I first wrote them but they dug the hole for themselves I've got no choice but to bury lol it pains me but it has to be done and I won't exactly say I regret it either cuz it's very juicy

Funnily enough I usually don't regret canon plot choices cuz they almost always happen for a reason, the joke to lore pipeline always leads to something batshit but connects everything neatly I pretty much eat it the fuck up each time lmao, though ig a funny one would def be removing Rigel altogether from TEF cuz it took away a lot of the other plotpoints (notably his arc of attempting to capture Toffee and this other one where Orion and Pepper bond over having lost a brother from the same tragedy, there are workarounds though it's def kinda a hassle to rework some of the already established points lmao

Rigel was mainly removed cuz there's just too much going on in TEF and his purpose as a father figure to Rei and contributing to her grief is already explored via Orion and Oak alrdy (who are much more involved in the plot and are individually very developed characters alrdy), alongside his creature whisperer thing going to Asteria who is previously not that developed, I def tried to salvage Rigel lmaoooo but alas, though if I'm not careful enough he might aswell get revived but chances are also slim, just overall a kinda wack scenario cuz either keeping or removing him leads to other outcomes, also probs cuz it wasn't a joke to lore pipeline that occured naturally and was my own choice and I don't usually make lore changes like this LMAOOOO

Ig another would def be scrapping Atch/Asteria cuz that was the og ship for a long ass time, like 2020 esque era, there's sentimental value attached to them though the story has been revamped so much they no longer feel like the og pairing I developed and ate up lol, ironically current Aitcher reeks more of the og Atchuka (Asteria was developed so much Eureka as a name doesn't even get used all that much anymore), also since POE wasn't a thing back then there's no deliberate parallels I bothered writing but w Aichi being an addition everything just tied together rlly satisfyingly lol

There's probs more but I don't remember any atm lmao, these are the main ones I do think abt quite often though

[dsrtrose]

i find myself questioning everything. [ arthur opening up to eliza post-"tahiti" waking nightmare ]

she’s  quiet  for  a  long  time  -  longer  than  she  intends  to  be.  in  the  silence,  eliza’s  fingertips  absentmindedly  trace  a  variety  of  wobbly  &  unspecific  shapes  over  arthur’s  forearms,  wrists  and  palms:  a  tangible  reminder  that  tethers  either  one  of  them  back  to  reality.

she  never  got  to  say  goodbye  to  lenny.  hosea  …  christ,  it  feels  like  a  mortal  sin  to  keep  on  going  without  hosea.  hell,  have  they  even  had  a  moment  to  breathe  since  losing  sean?  kieran?  jenny?  right  now,  she  is  grateful  for  who  remains  &  equally  as  terrified  of  what  dutch’s  plans  for  the  future  hold  -  eliza  fatefully  reminds  herself  that  she  is  still  sitting  here  with  arthur.  he  is  alive,  and  she  can’t  bear  the  thought  of  what  her  life  would  look  like  if  that  weren’t  the  case.  that,  alone,  spurs  her  back  into  this  very  moment,  giving  his  hands  a  gentle  squeeze.

“i  don’t  think  tha’s  a  bad  thing,”  she  murmurs,  voice  barely  above  a  whisper,  “tha’s  what  he  used  to  want  us  t’do.”  dutch,  that  is.  purveyor  of  the  true  price  of  freedom:  question  all  so  that  you  learn  all.  now,  it’s  different.  even  if  she  asked  dutch  for  details  on  his  ever-evolving,  so-called  plan  …  eliza  doesn’t  think  that  she’d  get  an  honest  answer.

the  truth  of  what  the  men  endured  across  the  sea  is  jarring.  hard  to  fathom,  even,  considering  that  the  lot  of  them  have  persevered  through  what  feels  like  worse  -  to  witness  arthur  recanting  it  is  enough  to  bring  her  pause.  (she  loses  all  the  color  in  her  cheeks  at  the  mention  of  a  cold-blooded  dutch.)

there’s  cracks  in  these  marble  walls  -  arthur  is  the  only  person  she’ll  admit  it  to.  “it  don’t  feel  safe  anymore,"  eliza  sighs,  still  mindful  of  speaking  above  a  breath  of  air,  "but  we  can't  just  ...  leave."  can  we?

*      MEME,    still  accepting      /    @luckturned    🤍

[shadow-laviko]

Ok, so, about my story called Imperium... Well, the tittle is temporary... maybe) And I can't say everything here because it would be too darn long, so I'll just make a quick-ish summary, give you character names and let you know details, and let you decide if you wanna know more and what you wanna know more about

So, the story is divided in two parts (I thought it would be two books, but it'll probably end up being more, so, I'll say parts) Part 1 : Lucifer, a fallen angel wakes up in the demon world called Imperium. He immediately meets Asmodeus (they are genderfluid, I love them). As Lucifer gets to know more about Imperium and its inhabitants, he starts wanting to form a government to help demons (because the demon world is a bit unruly and there are conflicts between communities and people quite often). So, he'll go on a quest to find people to form this government (spoiler, they're the six other deadly sins demons, so, Asmodeus, Belphegore (who is a closeted trans girl, I love her, she's sweet), Belzebuth, Mammon, Leviathan (they are non binary) and Satan (who is a gay drama king, he is so funny, I love him lol).

Then after that, it's part two. Part 2 : Lidatore (Belphegore's younger brother) has to form a new government (for reasons I can't explain because huge spoilers), so he'll also gather six other people (well, five technically, given Simanis his best friend (my profile pic!! Look at him, look at my child, he is handsome, I love him)) is already by his side since Part 1. And, after Lidatore has enough people, he'll do something related to the reason why the previous goverment is not there anymore. Can't say much more without huge spoilers, saddly

So, if you wanna ask anything about any characters, here's the list (also, the ideas behind some of them either come from the Dictionnaire Infernal or the Pseudomonarchia Daemonum if you wanna get any ideas)

ALSO I started working on this project before knowing about Hazbin Hotel, so please don't come at me if thing are a bit similar here and there (like, if a demon is a snake in one of the sources I linked, well, of course they'll be a snake in both here and Hazbin)

Main-ish characters

Asmodeus

Belphegore

Belzebuth

Mammon

Leviathan

Lucifer

Satan

Lidatore

Flare

Simanis

Mira (?)

???

Praesibus (?)

Trick

Lilian (human)

Sychariel (angel)

Françoise (human)

Clovis (human)

Side characters :

The Nihil brothers (Achroma and ???)

Adramelech / Andrealphus

Alphas, Malphas, Sabnock, Vine and Crocell (I don't have much to say about them, so if you ask for one, you get them all)

Astaroth

Others to come later

Please, if you ask about characters, tell me if you wan a true answer or an in character answer (basicallly for example : you have a bad character who fakes being a nice character : "Would you push someone who is about to fall of a cliff if no one is around?" true answer : absolutely | in character answer : oh of course not, that would be awful, I'd help them of course!)

I also developped world building, so I have a calendar, regions (Flora, Thalia, Serena, Eris, Pandemonium, Damara, Sophia), plants, creatures... The list is too long (not that much actually, but you know, this post is already long enough, I think you can handle thinking about asking whether or not there are chicken, without me telling you that chickens are on the list of creatures- basically, just ask anything you can think about regarding world building)

[phangneh]

Voice in the Abyss

[ CHAPTER Ⅲ]

✨Manhwa : Into The Light Once Again

✨Elmir royal family x Fem!Reader

✨Warning : princess!reader, lost memory, yandere elements (both platonic and romantic), protect, ... (will add more)

📌Note: this is just a fanfic, there are many details unrelated to the original story line. English is not my native language, if I make grammatical mistakes or use incorrect words, please forgive me.

🎭Summary : You have a voice that is said to change the world, when you sing, your sweet voice makes people happy and all things flourish. One day, your kingdom was destroyed, you had to live with the pain of losing your family and being severely mistreated. But it seems that you will die in misery, there will be people who will come and take you out of the abyss.

[ Introduce ]

[ Chapter 3 ]

It is said that today is the day the Emperor and Crown Prince return from a relatively long trip, which is why everyone in the palace is busy. That's what you heard. Well, you also want to do something to help them, you don't want to be free while everyone else is so busy with work.

“Your health is still very poor, rest!”

That's what Aisha told you before disappearing. And so now you have to be alone in your room, on your bed. Aisha and the Empress will act extremely worried and try to dissuade you when you try to do something alone without asking for their help or that of a servant. Even though you were grateful, you couldn't help but feel like it was a bit suffocating; you didn't want to bother others over small things or something.

You want yourself to get well quickly, and after walking better, you can quickly go home. Staying in Elmir for too long will bother everyone a lot.

Moreover, being here makes you feel extremely strange. Even though you've been here for a while, everyone is kind and friendly, but you still can't get used to it. Do you think maybe it's because you don't speak the same language, so it's difficult to integrate with them, or not...?

You don't know, you're just not used to this place, this isn't your home, and it's so strange because it doesn't exist in your memories. Despite Princess Aisha's efforts to make you feel comfortable with your new home, you still don't feel any better. You wouldn't say that to her, you didn't want people to be disappointed after all their efforts. In fact, you are very grateful to them.

Gently place your feet on the floor, the coolness of the stone floor makes your toes numb. You tried to stand up with both legs with your strength. When you finally did, your legs shook a little. Maybe Aisha was right, you were still too weak to do anything. Slowly walking to the window, the sunlight falling on you makes you feel warm. Elmir's weather right now is very beautiful: a blue sky, mild sunshine, and sometimes wind.

“… How is the weather at home?” You mumbled as your eyes still stared at the high blue sky.

It's strange, suddenly one day you wake up in a strange place with an empty mind without any memories. You have lost your memory. Up until now, you don't have any information about your family or where you live; you don't even remember where you live anymore. Every time you ask Aisha and Empress Iris about it, they only give vague or evasive answers. You don't even know why you lost your memory and suffered serious injuries because no one is willing to explain it to you. You couldn't help but be puzzled and curious, but they all seemed to be good at hiding things; they immediately and easily distracted you with another topic.

“I want to go home…” You want to go home because you think that place might make you feel more at home than Elmir. Your hand rests on the glass, and your mind begins to imagine the scene when you get home. Suddenly you realize that it seems like yesterday you had a rather strange dream, you don't remember it clearly. Now that dream has become vague, like a passing fog, suddenly disappearing, suddenly appearing, blurred. Blurry and unclear. But maybe you won't care about it anymore.

Returning to the bed, you sat down, causing the soft mattress to sink slightly. You look back at your hands, with the scars that have gradually faded. Well, thanks to everyone's care, even though sometimes you don't know why they are so good to you, it makes you want to do something to thank them.

As you keep thinking about it, you start to feel sleepiness creeping in, and you fall asleep again.

Aisha was looking forward to it; she knew. Of course, that's not strange, she couldn't help but feel happy and excited at the thought of her beloved father and brother about to return.

Standing in front of the palace's grand gate and hearing the sound of horse hooves approaching, she felt her heart beat a little faster. Empress Iris, standing next to her, couldn't help but smile when she saw her daughter's appearance. She herself was feeling lightheaded and happy.

When the group of knights led by the revered Emperor of the Empire officially entered the gate, servants stood on both sides, bowing their heads and bowing respectfully.

“Greetings, Emperor and Crown Prince!”

Aisha's smile immediately brightened when she saw the people she was looking forward to. She immediately waved to them, her cheeks turning pink. When the horse stopped, Crown Prince Isis could not stop himself but quickly got off the horse and ran like he was flying to Aisha, his beloved sister, to hug her.

"Brother!"

“Aisha! I'm back!” Isis hugged his sister tightly as if to make up for the time they had been apart, while also expressing the love and nostalgia he had for her. Isis loves her sister more than anyone; of course everyone knows that. "I missed you so much."

“I miss you too." The princess giggled while in her brother's arms.

“Ahem… Aisha, what about this father?”

The Emperor's voice made Aisha recognize him. She smiled shyly and then went to give him a hug.

“Welcome home, dad.”

Tyrion also happily hugged his daughter back. No less than Isis, the emperor himself missed his daughter and wife very much. His family is everything to him, and he will do anything if it means protecting his family's happiness and safety, even if it means sacrificing himself on the battlefield.

“Everyone must be very tired from such a long journey, let's go rest quickly.”

The palace servants began to get busy again, arranging and packing their luggage, some followed the royal family to help them.

On the way, Aisha and Isis couldn't stop themselves from talking to each other. They had a lot to say to each other after a period of separation, even though they exchanged letters during that time, but that was absolutely not enough! But the moments of being together and talking to each other are much more valuable. Their parents could only smile when they saw their children so excited, after all, they themselves knew that Isis and Aisha were deeply attached to each other.

When they had to temporarily separate, the two of them stopped. The Crown Prince couldn't help but smile regretfully, but his sister wanted him to rest, and in fact, he himself was very tired.

“See you later, Aisha. I really have a lot to tell you.”

“Yes, brother, please rest. I also look forward to talking to you.”

“See you at dinner.”

“Goodbye, brother Isis.”

Aisha waved goodbye to Isis, who turned toward the prince's palace with his servants following. She looked forward to the time they would spend together soon. Besides, the princess also felt extremely relieved; it was fortunate that everyone returned safely after the war. This battle happened suddenly, and the departure of the only heir to the throne, Isis, following Emperor Tyrion, also caused a lot of worry. Most people tried to prevent him from going to the battlefield because if something happened to the Empire's Crown Prince, the entire Empire would fall into chaos. Even so, he was still determined to step out onto the front-line.

She always knew that her brother was talented, very strong and intelligent, but on the battlefield, anything could happen suddenly and no one could predict. She sent letters to her father and brother regularly to make sure they were okay. An entire empire is represented by the Royal Family, after all.

Looking at her brother, who had disappeared, Aisha fell into contemplation as she turned away. Even though her father and brother have returned, it's unlikely their lives will return to their original trajectory any time soon. War and peace both stand between extremely fragile lines. One threat has been eliminated, but there are still countless other threats lurking. Especially a real enemy who is always lurking and stalking them.

And you, the one who will most likely have a big impact on their lives in the future.

Continue to [ Chapter 4 ]

p/s: I'm about to enter a very important exam so I can't release a new chapter soon, I'm really sorry 〒▽〒 I'll be back in three weeks!