#i can't fix it completely i need them partially ruined to feel on

[acornmoment]

Something I noticed the other day is that Marty the Miltank doesn't like having her horns touched. I think that's ironic since that's something I feel on a lot on the real Marty to the point I've almost completely ruined both of them. When I get around to patching her up that's something I'm going to try and fix.

[funnylovepuppis]

I should probably shut up about it because there is so many other people talking about it. But I can't stay silent about it. I can't stress enough how upset and uncomfortable I am with being here in buddie fandom right now.

As a bisexual myself, I agree with the importance of its representation in mainstream media. Especially when it comes to male characters, who are really low in static speaking. We can all agree on this, and hopefully, we can all see it. I'm really thrilled about Bi Buck's journey and about finding his happiness. He's not fixed, he just found out about his other sides he never knew they were existed before. As @m3r1m4r5u333 said in their post, bisexuality is not a personality, just a small piece in whatever color that is a part of many more pieces of soul. Buck, like many real-life people, is trying to figure out himself. I honestly don't think that self-journey will ever stop, not just on sexuality but on many other things. That's how living is, right? So yes, it's very exciting and kind of carefree for him, and I'm truly happy. He deserves it big time after all that he has been through. And I really think that Tommy is genuinely the right person for him at the moment.

But aside from me being bi, I'm also demisexual. Honestly it's more than that for me, because besides the need for emotional connection before sexual intimacy, I need some degrees of emotional connection before even getting into dating. So as you can see, I'm very much attached to Buck and Eddie relationship. I'm mostly finding myself a lot in Eddie's character. I do feel a lot of pressure on starting to date someone nowadays. And I'd probably be single for a long time because that's kinda how how people go to date. You meet someone you like and interested to explore the romantic dynamic and that someone is a completely stranger to you so it's kind of scary and stressful.. I'd rather be someone's friend and then lover..

Yes, best friends have a different kind of love than just two friends. That doesn't necessarily mean that it must have a romance subtext or under the surface, especially when it comes to two people of the same gender. And sure, all the things related to buddie are open to interpretations and any ways that people who see it differently are pretty legit.

We can argue about why things are the way they are. I can acknowledge that Eddie is not in the same emotional place as Buck, and it can be taking a long process for him, if at all, to realize his own feelings about himself and Buck. But at the same time, I can say that although it seems like Buck and Eddie communicate in a very healthy way, there's a sense of underground miscommunication that leaves both of them scared to make a move or talk about their deep feelings and observations on their own relationship. Because what they have is great, so why ruin it for a good change, right? And there is lots of evidence that saying buddie are partially soulmates. Having back from each other. Their reactions are when the other one is in a dangerous situation, such as the firetruck, the wall, the shooting, and the lighting strike. The will. The family moments of Buckley-Diaz. Going to each other's home as a safe place. The teasing from surrounding people about them. The jealousy. Their parallels to other couples on the show/

I guess I'm trying to say to the people who are feeling like some people are not very happy about Bucktommy because they are not appreciative of the new queer couple or the very fact that it's B-Buck canon. I understand the need for bi-representations and am happy to see that. It seems very worth the long wait for this. And yet, I want to say, give buddie stans time, including me. Because our feelings are legitimate and matter, too. It may come as rude or not excited about Bucktommy, but I think this is coming from being afraid and uncomfortable with how quickly many people from the fandom are shifting from Buddie to Bucktommy, even if they still believe in Buddie Endgame. Give us time to fall in love with this couple and connect with them. Give us time to warm up for them. Give us time because we have been attached to Buddie for 5 long years. We have been memorizing all of the episodes, plots, and quotes. Writing for 5 years, Buddie fics. Making beautiful gifsets and fan art.

Thank you for reading this if you have reached this far. 🩷

[im-frickin-trying-okay]

Random BNHA Headcanons

(This is my first time doing this 😭)

Summary: A bunch of random BNHA headcanons. So, basically the title. The only reason I’m adding a read more is because I want it to be easier to navigate my page, lol

Bakugo is oddly nice when he first wakes up, but he's not exactly a morning person. He's less "I hate the world, why am I awake???" And more like "I'm extremely comfortable and the only thing that can ruin my mood is becoming less comfortable." He likes hovering between awake and asleep, y'know? Which is why if he's sleepy, his guard drops. When leaving the dorms, if he hasn't fully woken up, he goes from "outta my way, shitty-hair," to "mornin' Eijirou," and by the time he's actually aware of what he said, Kiri's already freaking out. If he's in bed all day for any reason other than being sick, he's probably soft for at least a few hours.

Kaminari's the type to wake up at 2 AM with an idea, go to jot it down, and then realize that he wrote a ten chapter book and now he's late for class. He'll probably put it into a google doc or something, so he can continue to add onto it throughout the day. I also feel like he probably will also randomly get a question and then spend hours researching it and any surrounding topics, before rambling to Kiri about "bro, if I went to the beach, I could make a bunch of glass! Probably! Maybe!" And then have to try and convince his friends that he can just make windows if anyone needs them.

Sero had added moves to his skill set, and practiced particular actions, with the sole intention of mimicking Spiderman. When Kirishima questions him on it, he compares Spiderman to Crimson Riot. They have a conversation that's essentially fanboying, both of them saying "we are not bringing All Might into this," and then more fanboying.

Jirou has an extremely eclectic music taste. If you can name a song, she probably knows it. She can memorize full melodies and all the lyrics within two or three listens, because she's just that good. Some people call her the human Shazam, because if you play the first five seconds of a song she likes, she'll immediately know what it is. She's also called out artists if they made a clear rip-off of a much better song. Her music taste is all over the place, which therefore makes it superior. However. This does not stop her from listening to the same six songs on repeat for a week. The six change a lot, though.

Koda has trouble with bugs, especially big ones. They scare him. But he has pretty much no issues with tigers, lions, horses, or even wolves. He loves animals, he really does. If you just showed up at his doorstep and shoved a bear cub in his arms, he wouldn't really question it, because he'd be happy to have a cute animal to play with.

Todoroki believes himself to be the opposite of moody. His definition of moody is switching emotions for no reason. He, personally, doesn't feel any emotion until something happens that day, be it a thought or an event, and his emotions stay fixed like that until something else happens. He could be having a great day, and then suddenly, it's a horrible day, and he can't figure out how people just "get over it." He does, however, find that unless something REALLY bad or REALLY good happens, his brain does a little emotional reset when he goes to sleep. Like, go to sleep feeling down, wake up feeling kinda meh.

Kirishima has considered re-dying his hair. Come on, hot pink is so manly! How could he not consider it? But he eventually resigns himself, because red just is his color now. Also, I feel like once, before dorms, he was really out of it, so he went to class with his hair down, and this was the first time anyone had seen him like that, and everyone was just confused as hell. Especially Bakugo. "Your hair's less shitty today. What the fuck."

Uraraka takes part in stupid bets all the time. Partially for the fun, and partially for the profit. She once floated Bakugo to the ceiling for 26 minutes before she had to put him down, because Kiri said that if she survived, he'd give her a dollar per minute. She ended up having to go to the recovery girl's office, but at least she got her money.

Mina is one of the few people who can understand and keep up with Deku's mumbling. This is not because she specifically tries to, (like Uraraka) or because she's known him long enough, (like Bakugo.) She's just used to gossipping with Hagakure at 4 AM, and therefore can understand high-speed low-volume speech. She's called him out on things before, but only when she's interested. She completely tunes out things about All Might and heroes and whatnot, but if he ever has anything to say about his classmates, specifically about Uraraka, Todoroki, and Bakugo, (because she, Hagakure, and Denki placed bets,) she hears every word.

Iida secretly loves to break the rules. He acts strict in front of anyone who he respects, or wants respect from, but after he thinks everyone's asleep, he relaxes, doing things that he considers rule-breaking without any remorse. Denki heard someone walking around outside while on one of his late-night internet searches. After finally willing himself to break away from an article about pandas, he popped his head out of the door to find Iida sneaking around. After some silent observation, Denki realized that not only did Iida just get back from breaking curfew, but he casually stole Hot Cheetos from Bakugo's room on the way back to his dorm. He said nothing the next day, at least not directly, but he sorta shoved Sero and Iida in the same room so that they could be bad influences on each other.

Despite it being a major part of her quirk, Hagakure almost never feels invisible. She has a lot of friends to talk to, she can wear cool outfits to stand out, and she is always talking. The only time she's not talking is during stealth training, and when she's using said stealth training to spy on people.

Tsu's little "ribbit" thing is actually just for fun. It feels right to do it, so she does it. Nothing wrong with that. However, pretty much everyone else assumed it was a part of her quirk. It took an insane amount of convincing to get that idea out of their heads. Deku was proud to be one of the few who never actually associated it with her quirk. He could prove it if he wanted to, actually, but that would require showing someone his notebook, which would open a whole other can of worms.

Oh yeah, speaking of Deku's notebook, he has multiple. Six to be exact. One is on his fellow classmates, one is on most pros, one is on the LOV, one is specifically on All Might, one is on his own quirk development, and the last one is a narrative of what's happening in his life, which is why he's constantly thinking as if he's telling a story. He mentally narrates everything that happens in his life, although he sometimes wonders if he's dramatizing things because of that. His internal monologue is constantly running its mouth, and sometimes he ends up speaking over it.

Tokoyami really likes plague doctors. He just does. He wants a plague doctor mask so he can walk around with less judgement, or maybe more, who knows? He just loved the concept. He claims that they're just really cool, which most people agree with, but he's never told any of them that he likes them because he saw a plague doctor mask for the first time at the age of six, and immediately thought bird man.

Sato likes baking, but he can't cook normally to save his life. Well, he can, but he can't. He hasn't burned water, and he knows how to do the very basics, but he can't function without a recipe, not to mention the fact that he's googled how to saute mushrooms three times and still doesn't get it. Baking comes pretty naturally. Exact measurements, precise times and temperatures. Cooking does not. Eyeballing ingredient amounts, guessing if the flame is high enough, trying to figure out how often 'stir occasionally' is. He actually once asked Bakugo if he had advice, to which he responded, "Why the hell are you asking me?!"

[aspoonofsugar]

Dumb question: I've always felt frustrated while reading bsd. It's a series that I could potentially love, the themes and characters are great, but I can't enjoy the fights for example (everyone lives or is saved) and I get this feeling of "everything will be fixed" that doesn't allow me to get actually worried and thus excited for the story (it's no concidence that my fav arc is Okasaku's). So my ask is: am I missing smt? Do you ever get this feeling or is just my problem? Thanks^^

Hello anon!

Personally, it is not a problem for me that all the characters survive and I think that so far the story is managing the m in a decent way by giving them different arcs.

For example, I like that Fitzgerald has survived his battle against Atsu and Aku because an interesting redemption arc has been set-up for him. I am excited to see him mend his relationship with the people we have seen him hurting like Steinbeck and to become a better person while doing so. I am not disturbed by the possibility of him reaching a happy ending and I am actually looking forward to it. That said, I would be let down if his arc were to be cheap, so for example if he were not to meet Steinbeck anymore of if the conflict between the two were to be solved in an overly simplicistic way or in a way which lacked conflict or catharsis.

In other words, I don’t think that the deaths of the characters are needed to have meaningful stories or interesting conflicts (at the same time I do not think that having characters die is always a sign of pessimism or it is done only for cheap shock value). It really depends on the story that one wants to tell.

That said, I don’t think that you are wrong to feel as you feel. It is possible that you are simply drawn to more tragic stories or to stories where there is more likelihood to the fights/ the fights are told in different ways. It is also possible that you are not completely satisfied by the way the conflicts play out because you would like for the characters to be challenged more and you might also want the status quo to change (which is something which has not happened in a drastic way so far). These are all perfectly valid wishes. I, for one, would like to see some characters (mostly Dazai, but also partially Ranpo and Atsushi) challenged more than they are and I hope they will in the future. At the same time I want the status quo of the series to change as well towards the end. Am I certain this will happen? No, but I think there are chances for it to happen. Would the series be ruined if that were not to happen? Honestly, I don’t think so, but I might keep thinking there were more meaningful ways (at least for me) to explore some characters and themes.

All in all, since the series is still ongoing I am looking forward to what the author will do with its story. You might have instead reached a point you are not that interested anymore unless something more game-changing happens. If that is the case you may either keep reading as a casual fan and see if the story manages to suck you in as it goes on or you may stop reading and check on it later on to see if there were interesting developments.

You may also, in general, enjoy the light novels more than the manga since they are shorter stories. By virtue of being shorter they all reach an end and they are usually thematically coherent and bring some interesting tranformations in the characters. You mentioned the Odasaku one, but the Kunikida’s one, Fifteen and Beast (which are the ones I know best) all have a more tragic undertone and show the characters clearly changing and transforming by the end.

To be honest, sometimes the manga feels as a story which explores and shows how the characters are going to overcome their traumatic pasts (let’s think also about Yosano’s past which is highly tragic and beautiful imo) described by the light novels. You might simply be more interested in this tragic past and how it shaped the characters than in the main story.

Thank you for the ask!

[molly2140]

Introducing Octavia Freeman ��

Includes brief shit about my Half-Life universe.

Gordon has a twin sister, Octavia, she's approx. 4 hours younger than him if that matters haha. Their mother died during their birth (depressing as hell I know but I like the tragedy and dramatic shit), so their awesome father took it upon himself to raise his twin children the best he possibly can and give them a good life. Since Gordon can't speak, he, Octavia, and their father learned ASL in order for them all to communicate. Octavia acts as Gordon's voice and helps translate his signs for those who don't understand ASL. While growing up, Octavia becomes very defensive for Gordon, she hates when people make fun of him for not being able to speak. High school consisted of lots of fights and detentions for Octavia simply because she's defending her beloved twin. The two have a very unique bond, not only are they twins but they are best friends. Gordon has a really hard time opening up to other people, especially other girls, but he's always found it easy to confide in his sister, and Octavia is extremely supportive of him.

About a year after Gordon and Octavia graduate high school, their father falls ill and soon passes away, by then they are sharing an apartment on the university campus. Gordon is undoubtedly a genius, Octavia is quite intelligent as well, but she is studying for casual things such as photography and journalism, compared to Gordon who's clearly working for his PhD in science stuff. Soon after their father passes, Octavia finds herself taking the loss much worse than Gordon, and somewhere down the line she finds herself addicted to heroin. If Gordon wasn't home the night she finally overdosed, she would have died. During her rehabilitation and healing process, this brings the two of them closer and Gordon simply tells her that he cannot lose her, because she's the only family he has left. From that day forward, the two became even more inseparable.

Gordon and Octavia both end up at Black Mesa! Gordon obviously working in anomalous materials, whilst Octavia became the first female security guard, and she and Barney form a great friendship. Barney even tells her about his interest in Lauren, and she instantly hooks them up and everybody watches them fall in love. Octavia, like Barney, is a huge party animal, and enjoys grabbing some beers with Barney and Gordon after a long shift. Did I mention that Octavia and Barney are huge Queen fans? 😎 They will blast their music every day when they hit up the shooting range or while on lunch break. Also, Barney proposes to Lauren and Octavia was so happy when he announced it to her that she literally would not shut up about wedding plans for a whole week.

Black Mesa Incident time, yayyyy.

Octavia loses her shit when she can't find Gordon, she knew he was going in the test chamber that day, she wasn't supposed to know but he had told her anyways. She and Barney team up to fight the foreign alien creatures in order to escape Black Mesa alive. They are extremely pissed about the military simply executing any scientist or Black Mesa employee, however their highest priority is finding Gordon. Octavia and Barney get separated inside the Lambda facility, Octavia is trapped within and simply focuses on finding Gordon. She finds a portal to Zen, where she fights more of the alien creatures and soon realizes there's no way back to Earth. Suddenly the G-Man introduces himself to her, and offers her a job, she hesitates, but accepts when he tells her that he has Gordon. Together, the twins are put into stasis until their "hour has come again".

I'm not gonna get too much into the Half-Life 2 era stuff cause I'm planning on making a fan fic of it but here's some highlights and other facts about Octavia.

The land outside City 17 is fairly different, White Forest still exists, however everything is more inland and not next to the coast. The only large bodies of water are rivers and lakes. Technically City 17 is somewhere in Russia or in Soviet territory because I noticed a lot of the buildings and signs there are in Russian, but let's pretend City 17 is in the US because I want Octavia and Gordon to find their home as well as the ruins of Black Mesa. :3

City 17 has a wall around it that the Combine patrol heavily, the canals still exist but there is also underground tunnels that lie below City 17. The Combine are completely clueless of the underground tunnels, therefore Alyx uses them to help transport supplies and escort citizens to other outposts.

The Combine become aware of Gordon and Octavia's return a couple months after they arrive, unlike literally within the first day in the actual game.

Gordon and Alyx do fall in love of course. :)

Barney and Octavia fall in love too. :) Not gonna spoil shit about what happens to Lauren though I'm sure you can figure it out easily.

Eli's lab is far outside City 17, further west, so instead of it being called Black Mesa East, it's now Black Mesa West. It's actually a fairly large building that is partially submerged underground and is hidden in the trees so the Combine aren't aware of it. There's a nice open area to the south of the lab where Alyx and Dog have plenty of room to play fetch.

Since the lab is partially submerged underground, kinda like some houses where the back end is underground but the front isn't, that's literally this concept. So you can basically walk onto the roof, and that's Barney and Octavia's hang-out spot. This is also the spot where they confide in each other and talk about their tragedies, for Octavia, her heroin addiction and overdose, and for Barney, what happened to Lauren.

Oh yeah they also stole a Combine helicopter and fixed up Black Mesa style. 😎

Octavia helps Barney cope with his reoccurring nightmares over Lauren and the things he's seen working undercover, oh, and about that cat.

Barney managed to save some of the old mixtapes he and Octavia made back in the day, as well as the portable cassette player, which he rigged so it doesn't need batteries. So they constantly jam out to their favorite old tunes when hanging out or going on supply runs or hunting trips.

Octavia is definitely a night owl, Gordon is as well and they both have troubles sleeping sometimes. Gordon sometimes joins Octavia on the roof at 3am to talk some energy out in hopes of going back to sleep.

The classic desert eagle is Octavia's preferred weapon, the one she used while on security at Black Mesa. She is forever grateful that Barney managed to find and keep her prized gun after the Incident, as well as Gordon's infamous crowbar. The crowbar he still swears his life on by the way, ha.

Like Alyx, Octavia is quite fit and flexible, it's obvious they're experts at parkour. ;) If you haven't noticed, Alyx has a hoodie underneath her leather jacket with the Black Mesa logo, so I decided Octavia's shirt should have the Lambda logo with a similar color concept as seen on Gordon's HEV suit.

Octavia sometimes will go undercover with Barney to try and understand what he does every day, as well as gain more Combine information. She starts doing this soon before they confide in each other and confess their newfound love for each other. They definitely feel like they're working together again like in the old days but now forming secret crushes on each other.

Okay I'm not gonna spill too many more details without spoiling everything haha. But this is Octavia, as well as a brief explanation on my Half-Life universe. I showed my finished drawing of Octavia to my boyfriend and he swears she looks like me in real life but I don't see it other than the fact we both wear glasses and we both have our hair in ponytails all the time lol. The pose was based off of Kibbitzer's reference sheets, as mentioned before, you can find Kibbitzer's sheets on DeviantArt, their Patreon, or by simply searching it in Google. So yeah, this is my OC, Octavia Freeman, I hope you guys like her because I've put a lot of thought into her character and I've never done that with my other OCs haha. But I'm really proud of it. :)

[hotdamnvoltageman]

fight or flight

kirigakure saizo x mc (unnamed)

a/n: alright so an anon requested prompt 2 “please don’t leave me,” and i had this partial one-shot lying around and thought ‘well, that could fit nicely.’ and then it just. kept getting longer. and longer. and here we are. it’s a monstrosity i’m sorry.

@jemchew @demon-princess-anastasia @naerial @pasunny

Not her, he thinks, desperately, his consciousness clawing to regain itself. Not her. Anyone but her.

There's blood running down his arms, his legs, his face—there's blood between his fingers and in his eyelashes and it’s still dripping, slow rivers winding down his skin.

He pulls himself to his feet, reminding himself that if he dies, nobody remains to protect her, nobody remains to keep her from dying.

She's strong, but she can't possibly stand alone against an entire army.

He spits blood and starts running. He's good at running. No matter how far she is, he'll reach her.

The wind is hollow in his ears, but he reminds himself that the sooner he gets there, the sooner he can assure himself that she's safe.

The sooner he can admit to himself just what it is that's sending him flying this way.

He's late to the party, it seems, though he already knew that.

He arrives to find fire and desolation. He stands in the village, momentarily confused and a little more terrified than he expected—

And then she's there, rushing towards him, and the fact that she appears unscathed is enough to make him nearly fall to his knees in relief.

But he's a ninja of Iga. So he doesn't.

"Saizo!" She cries, desperate. "We have to evacuate the village—help me, we—" He grabs her wrist and pulls her back towards him. Her breaths are ragged and her eyes reflect the fire burning around them. He smells the smoke in the air and shakes his head.

"It's dangerous," he says, simply. The anger on her face as she twists her arm out of his grip is, in his mind, completely uncalled for. It's enough to bring a frown to his face.

"I don't care! I won't let innocent people die!" He curses her kind heart, her compassion, her love—the very things that have ruined him—as she charges into the devastation again.

It's then that he realizes he has no choice but to follow her. Or, rather, outrun her.

He sighs at the pain this entire situation has become, and starts after her.

He's quick to pass her; quicker to get to people, quicker to send them on to the mountain path. She darts between houses, adrenaline obviously making her faster, and he hears her voice. He keeps listening for it, just to reassure himself he hasn't lost her.

He can't lose her. Not yet.

And then, very suddenly, the world tilts sideways and he feels himself collapsing. He coughs violently, spits more blood, sees it running in the dusty streets and tries to assess the situation—

"Saizo!" His name carries like an arrow loosed from a bow. She kneels at his side, stops him from sitting up. The world goes loose at the edges, fraying like fabric.

"I'm just fine, little lady—"

"Like hell you are!" She snaps. He finds himself pausing, and her eyes catch his and he sees it, the fear—and not her fear for these people, or the world, but just for him. Do you feel it? He wants to ask. The part of me that you have. Do you feel it?

Because he does. Because he knows that she has some piece of him that he can't ever get back (and wouldn't want back, because it's the only proof he has that he's any good at all) and that he's not sure when she took.

"You should have told me," she says, worriedly, looking over him. She lifts his bangs and he watches her eyes darting over his skin, catching on every cut, every scrape.

"And what about you, little lady? All this smoke can't be good for you." He reaches up and threads his fingers through a lock of her hair that slipped over her shoulder. She furrows her brows, frowning in a way that reminds him of her mother back in Kyoto.

"That's not important," she says, and he desperately wants to argue that it is—until he starts coughing up blood again. He'll have to get some of Yuki's Iga medicine in him, and fast—but, first, he thinks, looking up into dark, glitter eyes. 

First, her.

"Go on, little lady. I'll be right behind you."

That frown again, he notes, but there's something in her eyes that's different this time. He fixes a smirk on his face and looks up at her.

She sighs.

"You're not as good a liar as you think you are," she says, almost disappointed, almost affectionate. Saizo's stomach drops. Don't you dare—

"Come on," she says, and she starts to loop an arm around his back.

"Don't—"

"Saizo," she says, pointedly, in a way that makes him look at her. Her eyes, dark like night, but reflecting the very depths of hell itself, are narrowed as she looks at him. He feels (almost) scared.

It's actually not a bad feeling, though, this one.

"Shut up," she continues, and his lips twitch into a smile. For a brief moment, he almost laughs—even as she hauls him to his feet, his lips are pressed tight to hold it back.

"Aren't we stubborn, little lady?" He asks, affection dripping fearfully sweet from every word. She lifts her chin, just a touch haughty.

"I—"

Her voice catches, gasping, and she suddenly crumples forward, sending them both to their knees.

He throws a knife behind them, and he hears it hit its target, supporting her with his free arm. Her breaths come heavy, anxious, and she leans forward on shaking hands and arms. He examines her, eyes catching quickly on the arrow lodged in her shoulder, the blood quickly blackening her kimono.

He examines it, then rips at the hem of his hakama, slowly removing the weapon and binding her as best he can.

It's not enough, not nearly, but he pretends his hands aren't shaking.

"Come on, little lady, we need to go," he says, scooping her into his arms. She looks up at him, gaze sharp, and clutches at the front of his hakama.

"Saizo, you're hurt, you can't—"

“We’re going. Hold on.”

They’re the last words either of them speak for a long time, as she presses her face into his shoulder and he runs until the smoke is less than a memory, and his legs are numb.

"Saizo," she repeats, worriedly, halfway to a question, when his steps falter slightly. He grits his teeth and grins, but it's too sharp and she notices.

"I'm fine, little lady—"

"No you aren't!" She snaps, and he— he's never seen her so angry, not like this, not at him.

"I've survived worse."

"Saizo—!" He can hear the storm that builds in her throat, lightning ready to strike him down, but he's sensitive to the world around him and he anticipates her every move.

He tightens his grip, makes it so she can't look anywhere but at him, words dying on her lips.

"I..." He waits, out of selfish curiosity, to see what she'll say. He knows he's been through worse, but, well, things still look bad—he tells himself he's allowed to be selfish.

"I won't let you die because of me," she says, resolute, eyes burning—and she shines like the moon in the sky, illuminating even the darkest of shadows, and he presses his forehead to hers because to kiss her would be cruel, but, god, he wants to.  

"Then we'll both just have to live, won't we?" His words drip sweeter, softer than he means for them to, and he suddenly regrets making himself the center of her attention.

Nevertheless, backing down from a challenge isn't like him. It never has been.

"There's no point in a world without you, little lady, so..."

He's capable of being charming. Making women swoon is easy, he's fine it for years, but for some reason he feels the words sticking to his tongue and he has to focus on hers just to find his footing. He can see the moon there, a crescent, cutting a curve into the darkness. Enchanting.

"So, don't leave me." A pause, and he swallows, and he feels her hands tremble and her eyes roaming over his face, searching,

"Please, don't leave me." The words hang too heavy in the air, too sentimental. He schools his expression,

"Hold onto me."

She nods, and agrees in a faint voice, as if hypnotized, and presses her face into his shoulder obediently. He lets himself relish it for just a moment, just long enough to blink and feel her arms circle a little tighter around his neck, just long enough to know that he will do whatever it takes to protect her—

And he runs.

The next morning dawns a hazy pink, the color of dying blossoms, and he rises later than usual. He's sure he was given a sedative. He lies on his back and stares up at the ceiling, sunlight inching across the floor.

He can remember the feel of her eyes on his in the moonlight, and how she passed out in his arms along the way. He can remember collapsing in Shingen's camp, shortly after delivering her and the news of the village's current state.

He had seen that the fire was out in the distance, and then nothing else.

Obviously, they had moved to a castle in the time he had slept. He wanted to move, but whatever they had given him is strong, because his head spins even now. He closed his eyes and returns to something close to slumber. He feels her breath on his lips, like it's real, but the moon in her eyes is not.

"Saizo," she says, and he wonders when it was she learned to move without alerting him, when she managed to slip so far past his guard.

He opens his eyes as if he couldn't care less to see her, and inspects her without obviously broadcasting his worry (which is intense, worse than he's ever felt, sharp as a blade—and he knows how those feel).

He lets a grin twist up the corners of her mouth, one more than the other.

"Shouldn't you be resting, little lady?" She frowns, slightly, and enters his room.

"I'm fine, thanks to you," she says, a concerned crease running across her forehead. She looks as if there's something more she wants to say, and in his mind he dares her to say it, but instead she shakes her head slightly and looks down at him.

"I came to see if you could eat breakfast. Are you hungry?"

After vacillating briefly, wondering whether he'd rather have food or her company, he cedes to her suggestion. She leaves the room, and it gives him time to think.

What he had said last night now seems extremely significant; asking her to stay with him, after all this time spent pushing her away. He had bared his soul for a rare, brief moment, and left them both stunned.

If he had to guess, he would suppose that was what she had almost brought up—but, knowing her, she chickened out.

He's (mostly) aware of what she thinks of him; what the world thinks of him: he is cold and distant and, at time, ruthless. He closes himself off and keeps his weapons closer than his enemies closer than his friends.

He can hear her approaching, and pushes himself up into a seated position, shaking the jumbled thoughts from his head.

"It's just a simple porridge. I hope you don’t mind," she says, edging back into his room. He can see the way she favors her uninjured arm, and wonders how 'fine' she really is.

She kneels beside him, watching his every move—every stiff, embarrassingly slow move.

There's not a word said until he has finished eating, and the silence weighs heavy. He refused to speak of it before she does; she wrings her hands together in her lap and looks from them to him, back and forth. Her anxiety is so obvious it almost makes him nervous, and he finishes the food quicker than he intended, passing her the bowl with as blank an expression as he can muster. He keeps his mouth shut.

There's a moment—fingers brushing and air crackling and the bowl trembles in her hands—and he wonders as it passes if she'll challenge him, after all.

He wonders if he wants her to.

It goes against everything he stands for, and he's uncertain whether he's willing to be honest with her or not. He wants to be, but he fears himself even as she does not.

He will never admit it.

She shifts, and he thinks she might just leave, and he quells the desperation that flutters like an injured bird up into his throat. What she decides to do is none of his concern, he tells himself, but his heart still pounds.

(He thinks of the weight of her in his arms and the feel of his forehead pressed to hers, how her lips might feel—)

"Saizo," she starts, a little uncertain, but she meets his gaze with a courage he admires and fears. She's a great and terrible woman, he's realized. He loves her far too much.

"Hm." Disinterest suits him; he dons it as a cloak and hood and hides.

"About—about yesterday."

"What about it," he replies, stoically, watching as she struggles and hesitates. Her lips purse and she stares into the emptied bowl as if it holds the answers to her questions.

"You asked me not to leave you." Her voice is soft. Uncertain. He feels something, either dread or anticipation, welling up heavy in his chest.

He's opening his mouth to disregard the comment, simply because her struggling is making him feel uncomfortable as he wants to soothe away her worries, but without getting too close—

"I won't, Saizo," she says, fixing him with a look that burns far too bright for the anxious lines of her body, the rigidity in her hands holding the bowl.

"I won't leave you. I'm not afraid."

There are a thousand and one things he could say, excuses he could give, denials that could cut her to the marrow—but he blames the haziness in his head on medication he knows has worn off, leaning into her personal space and tucking her hair behind her ear.

She startles, like he expects, and a blush dusts over her cheeks, but she doesn't draw away. Saizo almost, almost smiles.

"Do you know what you've just said, little lady?" He asks, voice a low rumble in his throat, predatory and hungry for whatever taste she might provide.

Her blush darkens. She bites her lower lip, anxious. He wants to bite her lower lip, less anxious, and hear the way her breath catches.

"Are you sure you aren't afraid?" He feels possessed, feverish, and he should stop but he can almost feel her lips against his and it's just a spark, but it's been so long since he last saw light.

"I'm sure," she replies, meeting his eyes directly. Whether his passion is mirrored in her eyes, or it's just his reflection, he's uncertain—but suddenly they're kissing and he thinks he's made a mistake but, well—

The bowl clatters from her hands, and he pulls her onto his lap before she can reach for it. It's the point of no return, now; her flames have consumed him and now he'll never be the same.

He doesn't mind, dragging his teeth across her lip and pulling until she makes a noise that causes her cheeks to flare red. He laughs against her collarbone, pressing his forehead into her neck, dizzy and overcome. Maybe the medicine hasn't worn off, after all.

Her hands are braced against his shoulders, and he feels her begin to push away and get a look at him. He tightens his grip, unwilling to meet her gaze, unwilling to be honest.

He will be. Just not yet.

"Saizo," she says, in response to his stubbornness, and he closes his eyes, listening to her heartbeat as he holds her.

"Not now, little lady," he says, kindly. "I want to stay like this."

He hears the tremor in her inhale, and realizes that he's never made such an openly selfish request of her before; she complies, her body relaxing, her hands making their way into his hair, combing through.

He's not sure anyone has played with his hair before. It's soothing. He's frustrated at the noise that almost leaves his throat, and presses his face closer to her, nosing the junction of her neck and shoulder. He feels her pulse there and it calms him, slightly.

He almost says he loves her, but he's already said too much—so they remain in silence a long time, holding each other. And she's right, he thinks; he really is a terrible liar, when it comes to her.

But maybe it’s not such a bad thing.

[1d-sexualdesires]

Prt. 2 Based off of: You can't ask me to do that

So the deal was on and Y/N was nervous and excited for their first whatever it would be. Everything was continuing as normal, but now every time they looked at each other there would be a moment of tension and then they'd look away, it was unprecedented for Y/N to put herself in this kind of situation, but she asked for it and now here she was. It was a Friday night and their friend group had made plans to go out dancing- something Y/N or Harry weren't very good at- and drinking. So Y/N griped about it all afternoon until Sophie just accepted it and told her to stay home if she would be whining all night, which was excellent. Then Harry told Niall that he had a paper due at midnight and he still needed a few pages. This was partially true, he just needed to write the conclusion, which would take about fifteen minutes, but Niall and Louis didn't need all that information. Y/N was already anxious because he would be coming over around 9 and she had showered 3 times that day (showers help her relax) and since she was still jittery she opted for a bath and some champagne. Just as she was pouring herself a delicate looking flute her phone rang beside her, causing her to spill and knock the glass over onto the ground. "Shit!" She squealed, and answered the call as she muttered nonsense, "Damn it, fuck... Hello?" She mumbled, too busy trying to not step on any shards since she was barefoot. "Are you alright?" Harry asked mid chuckle. "Yes, yes... it's just that my phone startled me and I missed while I poured the champagne and then knocked the glass onto the ground and it's a right mess." She explained and he smiled, she was absolutely adorable, he just laughed a bit and she frowned. "S'not funny, H." "It is, though. You're always getting yourself into these... odd predicaments at odd times and it's quite adorable and amusing." He confessed. It was easier to say when he wasn't in her face. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say." She griped and he chuckled again. "Anyway, did you get out of club night?" He asked. "Of course! But I always get out of it." She elaborated and he chuckled again. "That is true... well I'm just wrapping this essay up and I'll head over." "Sounds good." She affirmed and there was a pause and she bit her lip before speaking again. "Harry, I'm so nervous... look, if I faint-" "Oh my god, Y/N stop being a drama queen, you won't faint. Maybe after what I do to you..." he muttered quietly. "What did you say?" "Nothing, said you'll be fine, don't worry just ease up a bit, I'll be there soon." "Okay, bye." "bye." - - - Y/N was an even bigger wreck... 10 minutes into her bath she could no longer soak. The damn bath bomb wasn't even dissolved all the way when she pulled the plug on the drain and lit all her candles to make it smell extra nice. She decided that she should be comfy, but presentable... so she put on decent undies (because she didn't want him to think that she was trying too hard) and some cute floral pajama shorts and a v-neck that was a hint risky (Once worn in it revealed the little bow at the center of her bra). She felt comfy and clean and then her stomach growled. She was a wreck. Meanwhile, Harry quickly finished his assignment and then hopped in the shower. The mere idea of experiencing Y/N in the way he was about to had him hard and achey, but he had to ignore it and put it off for a few hours... besides he wasn't sure what exactly would happen today... he just knew he had to kiss her and hold her hands, and feel enveloped in her. Soon enough his hair was fixed a bit, and his sweats hung low in his hips, his sweater zipped midway, and some sneakers on his feet. He decided he would use cologne to remind her that it was indeed him she was with, then he headed to his car. When Y/N heard the knocks on her door she panicked and then hurried over and let Harry in. "Hey, ummmm, so I was thinking we can watch a film and ease into it?" Y/N suggested and he nodded. "Yeah, that's alright. What are e watching?" He inquired as he let himself fall into the couch. "You can pick something." She said tossing him the remote, "Do you want something to drink?" She asked. "Water's good." "Okay, I'll be back." She said before scurrying off to her tiny kitchen. Of course he had a glance, her legs looked smooth and that shirt was a smidge risky, he just situated himself and pushed away the mind frame of the horny teenager that seemed to reside in him and picked a film. When she returned she sat beside him and he started the film, the lights were dimmed now and he just wanted to kiss her. He had been waiting so long. Y/N on the other hand was shaking, her head seemed too heavy and the smell of his cologne wasn't helping that feeling. She really was anxious... the film was 40 minutes in and he had scooched closer, but her heart was beating erratically still and she honestly felt that she was going to pass out. She shifted towards him and he turned to her, eyes saying, 'what is it?'. She looked so worried and nervous, her eyes were confused and her lips nearly in a frown, fingers shaking as they tangled with each other and then she took a big breath. "Harry, if I fain-" "Y/N..." he chuckled, taking her face in his hands, "You're not going to faint." He said quietly, eyes boring into hers. "Promise?" She whispered, eyes gazing down to his pink, plump lips, then back into his eyes. Something about his touch had her completely enraptured. "I promise." He uttered lowly, allowing his thumb to run up her jaw. Her skin was as soft as he imagined, and her eyes fluttered closed, things were flowing. "Hey, look at me." He implored and she nodded, her eyes flitting open lazily. He was lost... she was breathtaking and everything he'd ever wanted. He wanted to say it, but it would ruin everything... but he didn't have to actually say it. His eyes bore into hers and then he glanced down at her lips. So supple and pink, just waiting to be kissed. So he leaned down and just hovered for a moment, this was about to happen. He could feel her warm puffs of air just halt for a second and he had waited enough. He just leaned in the full way and pressed his lips to hers. One, two, and three short kisses were given before he pulled her onto his lap, their breathing ragged as her hand slid around his neck and pulled him towards her mouth. Her bottom lip was tucked between his and he felt as if he was in heaven. Every hair on his body stood and he felt his whole upper body flame up, his hands holding on to her waist before sliding down to her hips. Y/N was reeling, her heart was hammering in her chest with his lips on hers. He suddenly bit down on her bottom lip and she moaned, fingers digging into the curls at the nape of his neck and she grinned. "Like it when I do that?" He rasped out and she nodded before he connected their lips once more. He took his teeth to her lip gently and after a good nibble he let his tongue run along it, which made her freeze for a moment parting her lips a little to allow him entrance. The kiss deepened and she had never felt so close to a person. It was like they were in this space together; a space where all worries and fears were gone. Everything was good and she felt like she was on the clouds, she felt safe and secure in his arms. She had never felt that before. "Show me what you know." He said and she nodded, kissing him a few more times before grinding her hips down into his lap, causing him to groan. The friction was incredible and sunk down on the couch, allowing her better access and she didn't let up until he was nice and hard for her. Y/N was nervous to say the least. She was worried if what would come of this moment, she wanted to do well. She tugged at the pant's drawstring with uncertainty before tugging the material down. She let her hand squeeze at him over his boxers and her eyes grew wide because he had a big prick... yet again her last time touching a prick was when she was a teen. She calmed herself mentally for just a moment before tugging at his boxers making him push them down a bit, just until his cock could be free for the material. "You 'ave a big prick, Harry... why didn't you tell me?" She whined softly. He was a bit lost because she was holding it in her hand now and his teenage boy side was overcoming him right about now. He let his head fall back, as if this would help him retrieve an answer. "Why would I brag about my cock size?" He half laughed and she shrugged, trying to ward off a giggle. It was quite nice, she thought, as she let her hand stroke it a bit. She looked to his hands and could see them burying into the couch when her thumb would rub at the tip and so she did it once more and elicited the same reaction, so she added it in more often, watching him groan and wriggle about gave her confidence to dip down and lick at the head when a bead of precome threatened to run down from his tip and down his thick length. "Oh fuck." He muttered and she wanted to hear it again. It did something to her, it awakened a part of her she hadn't visited in so long. So with this newfound confidence she sank to her knees at the edge of the couch and took his tip between her plushy lips. Harry's lips parted in shock at the warmth and wetness of her mouth, but then her tongue started working on his tip and she started sucking and holy fuck... he wanted to come. Y/N sank a bit lower, one hand stroking at his base, the other holding on to his thigh. She loved the way he was trying so hard not to fuck into her mouth and refraining from doing more... she could tell he was. On the other hand he was working up the courage to open his eyes and see exactly what was going on. He knew that this would not last five more minutes. Her lips felt too good, her tongue was too smooth, and the little huffs of air coming from her nose and tingling his lower tummy were driving him wild. He decided to just look, so he looked down with lidded eyes and cursed at the sight of his cock disappearing between her lips. But right then her hand moved from his cock and pressed to his balls where she squeezed a bit and he moaned her name shamelessly. "Y/N... just like that baby." So she picked up her pace and massaged at his balls until his back arched up. "I'm gonna come, fuck..." he mumbled breathlessly and she went back to stroking at him as she sucked his cock as much as she could until he tugged at her hair in an effort to get her off, but she didn't let up and sucked until he groaned loudly and she felt his come spurting onto her tongue. She swallowed it all and sucked at him gently until he rode it out. His thumb grazing at her cheek to get her up, and her eyes fluttered open to see him all disheveled, cheeks tinged red and he just pulled her forward and pressed his lips to hers. She was perfect. After a few moments he pulled back, catching his breath, their foreheads pressed together. "You're great... swear it." He whispered and she pressed her face into his neck, hiding her blush. "Thanks." She barely whispered and he chuckled. "Now tell me... has anyone ever made you come?" He asked quite blatantly and he felt her stop breathing for a moment. "Not really... but like now?" She asked, her words tickling his neck. "Mhmm, there's no better time. You don't have to undress, I can just work at it from your under knickers." He explained, and she bit her lip. She did want to feel good... "What do y'think?" He asked once more and she nodded into his neck. "Turn around for me. Face away from me." He elaborated and she nodded, situation herself on his lap and had her place her legs on the outside of his. Her heart was beating wildly, she was so anxious, but she wanted this so badly. She let out a shaky breath as his lips pressed to her neck and she let her head roll back onto his shoulder. "Just enjoy it, don't think about it." He said and she nodded as his hand slid down from her waist and to the seem of her shorts. She tried to clear her mind, but she was so distracted from his lips on her neck and his hand tickling her skin snd when he finally got the seem of her shorts she flinched and he hummed against her ear. "S'just me. S'Harry." He reminded snd she loosened up, letting her hands rest against the couch cushion. And so he let his hand slip under her shorts and he ran his fingers along the band of her knickers before speaking once more. "M'gonna do it now, okay?" He asked and she nodded. She was so tense the whole time his fingers wriggled doe the front of her panties. He could feel the heat radiating off of her. How had she been surviving for this long. He cupped her for a moment and she gasped when he did so, tensing up, but as he just held his hand there he started rubbing slowly, his fingers gradually sinking through her slit and feeling how wet she really was. "You're so wet." He mumbled and she moaned when he just let his fingers dip at her entrance to collect her wetness and he dragged them up to her clit when he rubbed tentatively. After a few strokes she tried to close her legs, but his own held them apart and she wriggled around, little whimpers leaving her lips as he rubbed faster. "S'good, really good." She managed and he grinned. "What do you feel?" He asked and she sighed breathily. "Tingles... just feels so nice." She whimpered. "Focus on that good feeling, Y/N, let it consume you." He whispered to her and she shuttered, before he started rubbing with a little more force and then she gasped. She was even more wet and he wanted to get a taste of her, but that would have to wait. "Oh my- Harry." She squeaked, her legs attempting to close around his hand, but this only made him rub quicker, her back arching from his chest and hand flying back to catch in his hair. "Fuck, I think- oh fuck." She moaned as his free hand pressed her to his body and the her legs trembled as her high hit her, but he didn't let up. He slowed down and let her ride through it, her moans were music to his ears and when she calmed he began rubbing quickly again, and her hand shot down to try and stop his but her grip was weak and she gasped, her movements halting. "Harry." She whimpered into his neck as he felt her coming again, his fingers sticky with it and after that one he did stop. Slowly, but surely he did and she was like mush in his arms, legs twitching a bit and breathing altered. He wiped his fingers on his jeans and moved her to her side, and he lay behind her holding her close as she let it sink in, he just let her ride that lovely cloud for as long as she could. And when her breathing final evened out she intertwined her fingers with his, causing his heart to do flips in his chest. That was the best part of the night, besides getting to kiss her, he thinks. "Thank you so much... that was... wow." She whispered. "I know. It was for me too." He assured her softly. His hands was running up and down her side, easing her. "Can't wait for the next one." She said and he smiled and pressed a kiss to her cheek. - - - "So what'd you two do over the weekend?" Niall asked as he walked in on the two on the couch watching Sherlock. They ad decided that s sleepover at his would be nice after their little activities because he has the comfiest bed, Y/N wouldn't miss the chance. But Y/N's face grew red and she turned around, choking on whatever was in her mouth at the mouth. "We were just studying, you know? Homework and stuff." Harry said quickly and Niall eyed them suspiciously as Y/N recovered. "Okay..." he mumbled before heading back into his room and Y/N looked to Harry with relief. "S'okay, I would never tell Niall." Harry said and she smiled softly. "You're safe with me."

[roxxythebirbrps]

Charlie's Birthday Part 5

Damien: *sees that she's starting the slip back and starts to go into his own thoughts as well, when suddenly her gasp brought him back to their reality and the shooting star above them, he had only seen one before, when he was really young and the thought brought something small from his memory* Charlie! You have to make a wish! Before it vanishes! *he took her hand and looked over to her with a bright smile, and suddenly the star wasn't nearly that important. There was that small girl again but with longer hair but that sparkle in her eye and he wished for her to always keep that sparkle, for her to be happy to keep that youth that he loved within her, but to never stop growing*

Charlie: *she blinks a few times at Damien's bright smile, she blushes lightly till she snaps out of it and closes her eyes tightly lightly squeezing his hand as she made her wish. A selfish wish but a wish all the same. She wished that she could stay by Damien's side forever, even if it isn't in a romantic way. She was always happiest when she was with him and she never wanted that to end*

Damien: *smiles at her as she squeezes his hand, knowing better than to ask her her wish, but just hoping that both his and hers got through to the wayward star. He wasn't one for wishing or anything of the sort, but the look on her face, the fact that she closed her eyes so tightly and seemed to be wishing so hard allowed him to throw whatever notions he had out the window* I hope your wish was a good one. I know mine was.

Charlie: absolutely, the best wish I could have ever asked for *she opens her eyes and the shooting star was gone and she sighs smiling* I can't believe I saw a shooting star....on my birthday no less....my first shooting star *chuckles smiling softly* I knew this was going to be a good birthday.

Damien: Well I'm sure you'll get it then. *smiles, looking up at the sky again, looking for the last little glimmer of light to know that that shooting star was real, he doesn't see it, but he doesn't question the validity of it all. He was content with this, a moment shared between him and Charlie alone* Happy Birthday, Charlie.

Charlie: *turns her head and smiles at him softly her heart soring this day has been an amazing on in her life.* Thank you Damien....thank you so much.... *she rolls over and hugs him laying with him she doesn't want this moment to end. Just the two of them under the starlit sky it was so wonderful*

Damien: */Should I move?! Should I not move?! Should I hug her back?! Would that be to awkward!? Should I say something?!? I should say something! What do I say? Is there something to say!? Would I be able to say it without stumbling past my words!? I don't think so... WHy am I still thinking about it?! I should do something before Charlie get suspicious about why I'm not moving... I'm so stiff right now... NOT IN THAT WAY! WHY AM I SCREAMING ABOUT THIS IN MY OWN MIND?! I should calm down... yes, calm down relax. It's just the kid.... not that kid, she's not a kid anymore.... but that doesn't make her any less "the kid" right? I should really stop thinking about this and do something.../ The heat rising from embarrassment from his own ridiculous awkwardness was almost to much to bear as he moved a hand stiffly to pat her back awkwardly several moments later* Yo-you're welcome.... *then figuring that she would possibly take that poor excuse for a hug as a slight against her, he hugged her for real this time adding a small kiss atop her head.... /WHY DID I DO THAT?! Will she take it the wrong way?! I meant it was a nice gesture, what the hell is going on with me!??/ His confusion, if she cared to look up, clearly written all over his face*

Charlie: *somewhat suspected for him to freeze up like this so she didn't really mind it all to much. She couldn't help but chuckle at the awkward back pat and his stuttered you're welcome. It was so like Damien that's what made it so perfectly him, she smiles softly as he hugged her but her heart stopped when she felt the kiss on the top of her head. She blushes deeply not knowing what to do she knows it can't possibly be anything more than a friendly gesture but still a kiss on the top of her head, her heart just kept fluttering*

Damien: *frozen up again, but this time with Charlie in his arms, he knew about as much to do about the situation he put himself in as she did. Sooner or later they were both going to have to move, but that's not what he was thinking about... actually he wasn't thinking about anything as his mind became a muddled mess of sounds and words, just as his conversation might have been had he been able to talk anymore.... finally calming down a couple of minutes later all he could think was made she hadn't felt it, there was no reaction coming from her side that the kiss happened and even though it was such a simple friendly gesture - emphasis on the FRIEND part in Damien's mind, he just wouldn't mention it unless she did. There. All fixed, nothing to it, now only if he could talk again....* I, um... I.... *he couldn't even think of anything to say, so he shut himself up again.*

Charlie: *she stars rather still during his whole inner conversation while she tried to calm herself down. She kept repeating 'it meant nothing, it was a friendly kiss, it meant nothing, its damien' over and over in her head till her heart stopped racing. She takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out still hugging him. Despite her slightly panicked heart beat she wasn't planning on moving away from Damien at any time. She wanted to hug and cuddle him even if he ends up breaking every time she does. She snaps out of it as soon as she hears him try to speak, feeling a bit bad that he might have thought her lack of reaction to the kiss was a bad thing but she worries that she might have taken it wrong and if she just pretends like she didn't feel it she didn't have to worry about saying the wrong thing or upsetting him*

Damien: *feeling her take deep breaths besides him- he was to deep in his own frenzy to feel hers- he calmed down much more and his thoughts started to retain coherency yet again, one word kept repeating.... Cake? Why was he thinking of cake.... and then suddenly it hit him- Her cake! he sat up immediately* We still haven't had the cake! *realizing how stupid it must seem for him to be springing up for something to small he laughs a little* I'm sorry I'd had completely forgotten about it...

Charlie: *him sitting up so suddenly startled her* eek! *him sitting up also made her fall slightly to the side which made her blush a bit more than she already was. She begins to think that it was probably too bold of her to hug him and lay with him like that without expecting to be flung from his body like that. She nods a bit and sits up slightly herself* yes..cake.. *still very embarrassed*

Damien: *hadn't realized his actions would have lead to something like that and he tried to right her immediately, patting her side light and fixing her hair* Oh Charlie I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to fling you like that I just had a thought... You are alright though, aren't you/ I haven't hurt you in any way have I? *his caring about her wellbeing always trumps his embarrassment of affairs, as shown in the Three Broomstick and again here as his eyes looked to her with concern*

Charlie: *so beyond embarrassed right now, even though she knows she really doesn't need to be. There was something so....incurable about this embarrassment, something about hugging someone then getting flinged from them makes it hard to get over. She lets him right her and shifts awkwardly* i..i'm fine *oh god she's turned into Damien*

Damien: *he's messed up royally and he knows it, he doesn't know how to fix this and it worries him even more and as he finally noticed her embarrassed look, her awkward shift, he understands at least partially where it's coming from, and he stops, fighting with his own blush yet again to comfort her, he had hurt her, but not in any way that can be fixed by his medical training* Charlie.... I didn't mean anything by it, I swear... I just... I just got lost in my own thoughts- not that now wasn't more important than my thoughts, because the now -with you - is great and I wouldn't exchange it but... oh gods I've ruined it! I've spoiled your birthday! I didn't mean to I swear! it was so careless of me to jump up like that, and you.... you.... I'm sorry. *right back to where he started that whole speech at and head hung low, he felt as if her should just take the cake back to his room and toss it into the fire.*

Charlie: *runs her fingers through her pony tail slowly as he talks well...while he rambled on, she had hoped that he would be too dense to realize her awkwardness but her hopes were dashed. She waits until he finishes to speak again, though she looks out over the clearing rather than at him. She was still too embarrassed by the whole thing* its okay...I know you didn't mean to do it.....you didn't ruin my birthday..Damien.....

Damien: *sighs, just knowing that she’s lying to keep him from feeling horrible, he turns looking out to the clearing as well, shifting one of his knees up to rest his arm the other hand searching for something to do, something that will make her feel alright and he settles on it, knowing that just maybe this will make things worse or better, but at least he hopes it'll get the message across that he doesn't want their closeness to end because of his own stupidity- He puts an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him if only for a brief moment before rubbing her back lightly*

Charlie: *she was about to say she wanted to eat cake when he puts his arm around her and pulled her into him. This by far was the most shocking thing that has happened to her so far. She just could not believe that he would want to continue close contact with her after that, she couldn't help but blush. After a few long moments she wraps her arms around him hugging him tightly closing her eyes sighing a bit. This gesture made her happy and definitely made her feel better*

Damien: *he waits for a bit, thinking in her non-reaction that nothing's changed, but then smiles as she hugs him and he chuckles a bit in relief, some of the awkwardness that he regained over the last few years, being shrugged off in this one gesture and he hugs her back, the muddled up confusion in his mind giving way to a specific calmness, he didn't care how he saw her, he only cared who she was- and she was Charlie, his happy little Hufflepuff, and although he shunned it at first he realized that he needed this closeness to someone, and Charlie was the only one who can give it to him and he laughs again* Hey Charlie, you wouldn't happen to want that cake anymore, would you?

Charlie: *she uses his mild thought period to take in the hug trying to get the most out of it before he changed his mind and stopped hugging her. She wanted to feel his arms around her like this all the time, but I suppose that's a silly notion. She moves her head slightly to look at the cake before answering with the only answer that seemed obvious to her* of course I still want cake, you made it for me didn't you? *she smiles a bit still hugging him*