#i can't even start to describe the videos ive seen

[ccsario]

the racism that this country is founded on has once again frothed up to the surface and it's fucking vile!!!

[noildoof]

Hello Ive seen that ur into a lot of like "obscure" media and was wondering what anime, cartoons and comics u were into or what u'd recommend , Im very curious , love your art!!!!!

There's a lot, tbh I'm not even sure where to start, but let's see...

Angel's Egg isn't really that obscure anymore, but at the time I first watched it and got obsessed, it was. I still consider it to be a masterpiece and my favorite movie of all time, tied with Alien.

If you're over 18, I highly recommend Malice@Doll. It's a surreal, disturbing 3D anime that moves a lot like stop-motion. It has a lot of parallels to the Biblical story of the garden of Eden, with humans in the role of an absent God and machines doing the same things they've always done because... well, that's what they were made to do. They don't have free will. There's a lot of really interesting stuff to think about - the tradeoff of innocence for knowledge, trading an immortal mechanical body that can't feel for a flesh one that can feel pleasure but also pain. Again though, this anime gets pretty disturbing, and although it's not meant to be arousing it does have sexual content. It's not appropriate for minors.

My favorite bad anime is The Humanoid. It's very campy and one of the most 80's anime I've ever seen. The characters (mostly Alan) talk a lot about coffee, for some reason. Enough that you can make a drinking game out of it. The soundtrack is actually really good, I have it on vinyl.

Go watch Chargeman Ken right now. I mean it. Each episode is only 5 minutes long, so you have no excuse not to. You'll understand why I'm recommending this anime once you've watched it, it simply has to be seen to be believed. My favorite episodes are Dynamite in the Brain and When the Cuckoo Clock Strikes 3.

A lot of people seem to hate Bounty Dog, but I will unironically defend this anime to the death. I think it's good, or at least perfectly serviceable for a 90's direct-to-video anime. It has a weird piss-yellow color palette though, and it's not a filter - those are the actual colors used in the paint, I would know having cels from this.

This is very particular to my tastes (people who know me will understand why), but I binged Brigadoon not long ago and loved it. It's a very strange series in a way that's kind of hard to describe. Fundamentally, it's about a relationship between a girl and a mecha that develops into a romance, so I guess it's shoujo. But it's also an action series. And a comedy series. And a drama series. And a horror series at times. It defies genre categorization in a way I don't see very often. The closest thing I can compare it to is The Ancient Magus's Bride, as the relationship between Marin and Melan is pretty similar. With Dr. Seuss and Evangelion thrown into a blender.

Cool World is... not a good movie. At all. But damn, are those backgrounds nice. It has a particular "look" to it that is awesome as fuck, I just wish the actual story wasn't so stupid. I implore the people who say dumb shit like "Hazbin Hotel is just "SEX! LAUGH NOW!"" to watch Cool World, because that is literally what Cool World is. It's pretty to look at, but the entire plot and all the jokes are just "Don't have sex with cartoon characters---- OHHHH he just had sex with the cartoon character." But if you can get past the painfully unfunny "comedy" and stupid nonsensical plot, it's very nice to look at and has a great soundtrack.

... that got really long-winded, damn. Here's some other recommendations:

Anime:

Weathering Continent (also an untranslated light novel series) Laughing Target (also a manga) Mermaid Forest (also a manga) Mermaid's Scar (also a manga) Curse of Kazuo Umezu (also a manga, untranslated) California Crisis Twinkle Nora Rock Me (so bad it's amazing, also an untranslated manga) Nayuta (also a manga, untranslated) King of Thorn (also a manga) Umi no Yami, Tsuki no Kage (also a manga, but not fully translated) Dragon's Heaven (also a manga, untranslated) Lily-C.A.T. Magnetic Rose (not really that obscure but it's a masterpiece) They Were 11 (also a manga, dunno if it was translated) E.Y.E.S. of Mars Iblard Time Venus Wars (also a manga)

Manga:

Eko Eko Azarak (haven't seen much of it but I like what I've seen) Any of Rumiko Takahashi's short stories Black Jack (definitely not obscure if you're an oldtaku like me) Anything by Kazuo Umezu, especially Drifting Classroom

Movies:

The Banshee Chapter Space Mutiny (watch the Mystery Science Theater version) Yellow Brick Road

Misc:

Mary (Scissor Sisters music video) Daicon IV (anime Electric Light Orchestra music video) Apollo 20 hoax videos Cybersix (Argentine animated series) Skydoll (Italian comic, adult-only) Yoko Tsuno (Belgian comic)

[thetapirsarehyperfixating]

hi! first time making an original post in like years. anyways

this is my canon timeline for dragon age, written out in prep for veilguard's release :> larger versions of the busts, plus assorted rambling, below the cut.

eventually, i am probably going to cave and post some stuff about these bastards on ao3 - if you are interested, this is where to look: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tapir_boy/works

SARRELAN TABRIS: as im writing this post my partner looked over, saw sarrelan, and went "thats my fuckign WIFE". so shes highly reviewed

Sarrelan is the Warden-Commander and Hero of Ferelden, the woman who killed the Archdemon, ended the Fifth Blight, Arlessa of Amaranthine, and winner of Vigil's Keep's Biggest Bitch award twenty-two years and counting. she is full to the brim with autism, which is part of the reason she looks so. mad. all of the time. she doesn't mean to, she just does not Emote well and so comes off as being more aggressive than she actually is. now don't get her wrong, she is also full of rage and kind of jumps to violence as a first resort, but she is capable of listening to people and generally does like people, like she thinks good people deserve things and wants to give them good things. she just never looks like she does.

she's got kind of an immediate bond with Alistair, something to be said about him being basically the first human man who's ever treated her with respect and actually listened to her when she takes control of a situation. ive seen interesting commentary out there about how alistair immediately turns control of the situation over to the HoF and how that can be really disorienting/frustrating/upsetting for some characters, but its kind of the opposite for sarrelan. shes had almost two decades of experience getting into shit with her cousins, shes used to taking charge and she likes having that control, and its a relief that alistair doesn't try to fight her on it.

zevran is a little more rough-going to start as they're both very different people - zevran is used to reading more into people's body language, and sarrelan's body language is very disassociated from her actual emotions, so he does spend a good while thinking he's in like Imminent Danger while sarrelan's in the corner trying to figure out if she actually Likes this guy flirting with her. (she does).

zevran semi-accidentially insinuates himself in alistair and sarrelan's relationship right after it starts, half-jokingly offering to have a threesome to help them both get over their nerves of losing their virginity, and then oops oh no they all caught feelings and no one knows how to deal with it. they only figure their shit out a few days before the battle of denerim and it's as sarrelan is On Top of the archdemon, getting ready to kill it, still unsure if Morrigan's ritual will work and if she'll even survive this, that she's able to tell them she loves them.

zevran's earring is the only piercing she has, and she treasures it greatly. she's a two handed warrior and has a sword bigger than herself. shes also gone 1v1 with an orge alpha and survived. canonically. id say i have video proof but i dont. just trust me bro

(TW FOR SA, NOT GRAPHICALLY DESCRIBED)

CONNOR HAWKE: local man made of 20 different types of trauma in a cool chestplate

connor is actually adopted into the hawke family! long story short, he was born in kirkwall and was taken to the circle there, and only left because his enchanters conspired to smuggle him out after one of the templars assaulted him. he fled to ferelden where he came across the hawke family, who took him and his daughter in and helped him fake a new identity with them. he's not happy to be back in kirkwall, but the city is a part of him whether he likes it or not - it's eating him alive but without it, he doesn't feel like himself. he's a very dedicated and loyal person, usually to his detriment, but he feels like he can't keep running from the threat of the templars anymore, he has to do something to fix this makerdamned city now.

(TW IS OVER)

he's got Something going on with the whole kirkwall crew, it just never really expands into anything for years because he's basically married to the job. but his life has been intertwined with these people's since he met them, and at a certain point all of those feelings mesh together and he's sitting there at wicked grace night and realizes he might be In Love with all of them, and then he has to make a hasty exit before he has a complete and total breakdown over it. during the timespan of DA2, anders is really the only person he has a romantic relationship with, because justice is getting tired of anders holding himself back from maybe the one other man in kirkwall who would support him no matter what, and kisses connor like the day before he has to leave on a longer quest to the sundermount. connor makes them discuss their feelings afterwards and they end up figuring it out, although the rest of the kirkcule are like. still fucking each other and are by no means exclusive at this point. the rest of them just never talk about it, because things go downhill in act 2 FAST. like, within a month he loses his mother, almost gets dragged back to the circle, has to fake his daughter's death, completely destroys his relationship with carver, and almost dies fighting the arishok.

the connor hawke of reality and the Champion of Kirkwall that gets immortalized by varric are two very different people - basically by the time that connor gets the name of Champion, he's already been working on maintaining a public persona that he just calls Hawke, and after everything with his daughter being sent away, he never lets that mask down again. he really considers Hawke to be a completely different person to Connor, and varric tries to help cement that difference in the Tale of the Champion. Hawke's story is that he was always Ferelden, his daughter was adopted and really did die, and he had no idea anders was getting so radical until the moment the chantry exploded - connor's story is that from the moment he sent Lila away, he was planning to find some way to take down Meredith.

he and anders spend a lot of time inbetween acts 2-3 trying to figure out more peaceful ways to address the chantry and bring some - any - oversight to the circles, but when all of that fails, they finally resort to plan dynamite. when all is said and done, they go to amaranthine to be reunited with lila, and then go on the run trying to help the mages break out of the circles and evade the templars. when he hears that varric was kidnapped by cassandra and that she's looking for him to speak at the conclave, he sees it as an opportunity to make a case for the rebel mages, and goes despite all the warnings not to. he survives in the fade up until the questline where the Herald goes into the fade, finds him alive, and drags him back home to see his daughter again. then he stays in skyhold to basically act as an advisor to her, and when the rest of the kirkcule get their hands on him, it kind of spurs him on to finally address his relationship to the rest of them.

connor is a force mage by default, but given how long he spent in Ferelden living on the run from the templars, he mastered both casting without a staff and fighting without magic. he's both tall and strong, but he manages to avoid scaring people off through sheer Dad energy.

LILA HAWKE: hey look theres that daughter we've been talking about

Lila is very much her father's daughter, but she doesn't have his same talent for acting calm or friendly, if she doesn't like you she Will tell you to your face and she will not work with you. (cullen.) after hawke's "death" at the conclave, she kind of becomes the defacto leader of the rebel mages, which is definitely a normal amount of responsibility for a twenty-one year old struggling with ongoing mental health issues and overwhelming grief to handle. shes doing great

(slight detour: to address some of the weirdness with DAI's timelines im having there be basically 3 factions of mages in the rebellion: the Circle mages, who want to remain under the circles with the exact same setup as before; the College mages, who like the idea of having their own spaces and want some oversight, but also some oversight of the oversight to address the rampant abuses of powers; and the Hawkes, the rebel mages who want no circles and no templars and the ability to live their lives in the same communities as non-mages. the Circle mages mostly look to Vivienne for leadership, the College mages are rallied behind Fiona, and the Hawkes were roaming the continent with Connor, now working loosely with the Inquisition with Lila.)

she's got some health issues - she's shorter than varric by a few inches despite being a human, she has moderate asthma, and semi-regular psychotic episodes, mostly auditory/visual hallucinations and paranoid episodes. bubba, the family mabari, acts as a service dog for her when he isn't doing the same for connor, and i imagine at some point between inquisition and veilguard, she has her own mabari who works full-time as her service dog.

she is one of the co-inquisitors for DAI, but she is not the herald of Andraste; she wasn't actually at the conclave when it exploded, she was down in haven with varric and anders, but she kind of gets roped into everything because cassandra says "youre a hawke, you're going to get involved anyways" and lila... can't really argue with that, she's just mad that cassandra was right. arisas is the diplomatic one, she's the more experienced one, and they honestly balance each other out really well. it frustrates her to no end that arisas is almost literally twice her height.

lila kind of regards her time in amaranthine as the best of a really, really shitty situation - she hates that she lost so much time with her father, that her teenage years were so tumultuous and that she had so many milestones of her life and she couldn't talk to her father about them, she never got to introduce her first girlfriend to him, she had to come out to him over letters, and while she has a lot of respect for the wardens in amaranthine and appreciates them for taking her in with no questions asked, she hates that she lives in a world where that had to happen in the first place. sarrelan is the person who made her realize she might be kind of butch, and zevran taught her how to actually fight instead of just using her magic for experimentation. connor never kept a grimoire after fleeing kirkwall (too obvious and too much evidence, especially if it got lost or stolen), but she does, and it's filled to the brim with notes and homebrewed spells.

ARISAS ADAAR: please help him he is too young for this

arisas is by far the youngest person to get involved in a major political conflict in my canon - he turns 16 during the events of DAI - and he is trying so hard to keep people from learning that information. he grew up in tevinter, taken there from par vollen as a very young child, and doesn't have the greatest grasp of southern mage/templar politics and is very confused by everything happening at the start of the game. he joined with a mercenary company as his first job, and was only with them for a few weeks before they got hired for the conclave, and he was Not getting paid enough to get a crash course in the differences between southern mages and tevinter mages.

ari is a lot more hesitant / cautious than lila is, partially because he has an anxiety disorder, and partially because he just knows a lot less about the south than she does. if it were up to him, he would not be in charge of this mess, but he's the one with the Anchor so he kind of has to be. he takes to the diplomacy pretty well, and he at least always finishes the paperwork that josephine sets in front of him (unlike liia, who will get distracted and go do something else halfway through). it does mean that he is constantly sleep deprived

inquisition is probably his first big exposure to a lot of queer people in very close proximity to him - between lila, leliana, dorian, and bull, it's the first time that he's really considered that people could be queer, much less trans, and it starts to make him question some things that he really doesn't have time to question. and, as the game continues, it doesnt really seem like questioning it will do him any good, as the inquisition continues to erase him and fill in the blanks with the Herald of Andraste, so he basically goes "even if i am queer, looking into it now will do me no good, because no one here is going to listen or respect that" and continues on like normal. (post canon he does figure some shit out, although he still uses he/him pronouns).

ari looks up to bull a lot, at first because he's a qunari who actually follows the qun, and ari is very curious and kind of wants bull to take him under his wing and become a father figure to him; but when bull becomes tal-vashoth and leaves the qun, ari tries to reassure him that he's the same man regardless of the identity he ties himself to, and that there's no shame in acting outside of the qun if it means protecting the people he cares about. bull in turn tries to help ari come out of his shell and maintain his sense of self in the midst of everything that comes with being the herald.

he struggles a LOT with having his identity erased by the inquisition, being both revered and reviled and rewritten with every step he takes. it makes him feel just thorougly inhuman and alone, and causes a mental breakdown after trespasser. he tries to stay in politics for a few years post canon, tries to help dorian with reforming tevinter with all this newfound influence he has, but being in the spotlight so much is detrimental to his heath, and he ends up having an early retirement in his mid-20s. he moves to kirkwall and raises nugs. this is the greatest his life has ever been.

[jrueships]

LIBRA

LIBRA!!!! i LOVE libra! But i also hate libra cus i love libras. It's not the libras fault tho! Like IDK... i hate the general PERCEPTION of a libra? Cus it can do more harm than good..? Which sucks cus i hate when bad stuff happens to a libra, cus i love libras. HMM.. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS

SO LIKE. Libras and cancers fall into the 'cinnamon roll' category of zodiacs, n i fuckin HATE that trope n hate that people get put into it. Cus it's lowkey demeaning, weird, and undervaluing. N i hate undervaluing. CUS LIKE! YEAH! LIBRAS ARE GREAT LISTENERS, THEYRE DIPLOMATIC, THEY LOVE BALANCE. THEYRE GOOD PEOPLE! but like! They're still PEOPLE! Others need to realize that! THEY ARE NOT FUCKIN THERAPISTS! ALL THE FUCKIN TIME! idk tho, maybe im just adversed to it because i don't go to therapy cus im just uncomfy putting everything on a person thats not . Funny? Even if they're paid to have that? BUT LIKE ! YKNOW! Theyre not your PRECIOUS BEANS or whatever. They can be fuckin manipulative! But still do it out of the goodness of their hearts! Like a person can be that ! No one is perfect, tho, yknow, it's easy to think that when IM here all the time... naw im kidding tho, no one is perfect (as hard as it may seem to BELIEVE with ME 😊).

I love libra traits, but with every zodiac, you can also hate those traits. Cus they can become too much or turn sour. It comes off as a surprise because they SEEM so fun or good, but that's just a possibility n people gotta learn to understand that! Some people get that shock once and will forever hate that person for it, or others will never get it because they keep a person in a box. Or keep seeing that IN that box.

Like the whole 'libras can NEVER make a decision' that is SO . Flanderized. Because YEAH ive SEEN that with them, TRUST me. I made friends with a lot of libras (n it's funny cus ive ALWAYS started the relationship WITH them. Then later found out they were all libras. It's weird! I love them tho!), n when they can't make a decision. Bruh it's TERRIBLE. I had like 10 libras worrying to me about their college decision comparisons, even after making all these intricate graphs n charts n plans, they were STILL struggling. N WHATEVER YOU TRIED TO CONSOLE THEM WITH, THEY JUST SAW THE OTHER SIDE TO. that's how they ARE n i HATE that but they need that! I hated it cus my pride was starting to get in the way with all my ideas getting warped around or shot down like i was stupid, but a libra isn't TRYING to MAKE that happen! They just NEED to see two sides! It helps em figure shit out or get lost in a deeper rabbits hole to pop back out again. N i tell em like ! They're a person who'll ask for advice when venting or want an opinion then lowkey argue with you on that opinion. But still WANT it. N they agreed, that's just how they figure stuff out!

I try helpin em best i can with that, but sometimes i realized keeping the conversation would just make me unreasonably more angry, so i let them chat it off with like a cancer or something. They're great together, along with a cancer Taurus pair? I also love cancers, but those too I gotta take a step back with so Noone ends up getting their feelings hurt.

so I like libras but people gotta understand, they wont ALWAYS. N sometimes they don't so they keep pushin n pushin n that's bad! Libras can get feelings hurt when it comes to personal stuff, even lil jokes sometimes! They can ALSO be fixed on things! People tend to think they're ALWAYS indecisive, but when they think things, they THINK things. Literally all my libra friends send me political tiktoks. It's hilarious cus they'll send me a super important subject n ill heart it then send them a video of some kid hitting his head on a picnic table. They also send some funny videos, n they have similar humors where they love funny things being said or funny images ig? Like fingers pretending to poledance. The only way i can describe it is kinda cheesy humor vs my more random humor, but both are enjoyable! We bounce off well! BUT YEA so people will just tell them ANYTHING and expect them ALWAYS to want to be 3rd person, but that's not always the case! They can have a fixed opinion too, n it's a good one cus they weighed all other options but CHOSE that one. When a libra finally chooses smthin, it's usually really educated and good (like u choosing to be in the nba tumblrinas, the BEST tumblrinas. Obvs) (joking)

ALSO because they're seen as mediators, they're seen as 'pure'.. but they rlly aren't lol. If i had a nickel for everytime i met a libra, we talked a lil bit, we exchanged numbers, N THEN THEY JUST SENT ME A SCREENSHOT OF THEIR BDSM TEST RESULTS. I'D HAVE A BANK. they're! Idk! Spicy ig LMAO? At least spicier than you'd think n they really revel in it. They love feeling not boring similar to an aquarius n can also get caught up into 'im different' NOT to flex but to feel like a PERSON. When really their big difference is that they thought the minions movie was actually funny. Cancers also love to be all 'oohoohoo i can be dirty woo' but their reveals are way more basic lmao like. They're pillow princesses or whatever lol. ALSO all the libras who sent me a screenshot were switches and exhibitionists ?? That's pretty libra to me lmao??

Libras also are some of the most friendly people EVER. They can smalltalk to anyone without being bored, they love talking about themselves AND asking about others. They're unreal to me in that way. I always appreciate a libra's social ability n lowkey let them do the talking for me cus im actually a pretty quiet person as long as im not with friends. (When im with friends i can be insufferable tho so it's a lose lose). BUT!!! it's like no matter how CLOSE you are with a libra or how many people LIKE them... they will struggle to feel LOVED. They could go to a party and have everyone in that party greet them with the happiest smiles, and STILL go home thinking no one really knows them or loves them. They NEED love. They need a partner or just someone close. They need a pet cat they really love or an s/o to feel balanced. Which doesn't always gel with me who's good with solitude!

They can also be super flirty n jealous, pretty basic info tho! But they're like! Funny with their jealousy. A jealous or disagreed libra can be lowkey manipulative but mean it what they think is well! Like im just trying to get you out of a bad option without directly SAYING it's a bad option jealous. I had a libra BFF who liked me (ive had lots of libras whove had crushes on me but rarely did we become a thing thing cus i didnt wanna end up ruining a friendship with a person i valued so much over something stupid like a breakup. It wasnt cus we were both guys cus ive had n have a bf. Just in the closet to keep me safe from family. Im very masculine ive been told and seem like a 'normie???' But once people get to know me they say im like a butch lesbian?? Idk man! Ask the libras, they call me that!), n whenever i would make a simple comment on how i thought xx was pretty or cute, he'd lowkey be like 'you just like xx cus you like objects' N IT WAS LIKE? DAMN BRO YOU REALLY THINK ME LIKE THAT? im just complimentin ppl n i didn't do it n like a 'WOW her boobs are HUGE' just in a 'i like her hair she's pretty', but it still got him upset! I understood it tho, libras can easily feel inadequate, so i didn't do that infront of him no more. Like, a libra HATES hates HATES introducing their older friend to a newer friend and having them end up pushing the libra out the circle because THEY became closer. They hate feeling inadequate or too boring or too much of anything. IDK! they're not as perfect as people like to think them as, n! Homie needs a therapist lol, in the most respectful intent. Those signs just would really thrive from having someone who they can talk to without worrying abt being seen or taken wrong

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Pink Chains (cont.)

Kyotani owns a grunge /punk apparel shop after leaving the Sendai Frogs after a incident with the Black Jackals. He designs his own clothes and hires Oikawa & Iwaizumi as his employees. Everything goes smoothly for awhile, till you walk in; pink dress, big smile , and bubbly personality. His whole life stops in that moment. 

Punk! Kyotani x Bubbly F! reader. Aka my favorite cliche trope. It lives in my head every second of the day.

Brief Violence

The rest of the first half and all ive got so far ! / first half at the bottom !!

Your home was a cheap studio apartment not far from the college; a small studio with a cute bed by the window , a table with a bunch of markers with a big sketchbook sitting in the middle . You had the basic needs and a little couch in the corner but no tv , but there was a little pink cat bed next to the couch.

Kyo stuffed his hands in his pockets looking around the studio , it was weird being in a small studio for him since he has a home . Everything seemed shoved into one or two spots. He sat down on the couch and you were looking a little embarrassed, fussing with your dress .

“I know its not much but ! Its my little space heh, Mocha is probably in her little house sleeping. She will wake up soon though now that im home !!!” You picked up some clothes out of a basket. “Ill be right back , make yourself at home!”

“Okay sweetie.” He leaned forward dipping his head down to look in the cat hut . He could see a tiny kitten sleeping in it and smirked leaning back into the couch getting comfortable, well as much as he could in tight jeans. Kyo peeled his jacket off and pulled his phone out to check it .

Group Chat

Mattsun/ picture

Oikawa/ OOOOOO

Iwaizumi/ i knew pink was your color

Kyotonai/ guess where i am

Iwaizumi/well i dont see you so not at home

Oikawa/ are you at her house ?!?

Kyotani/yep, invited me to stay the night

Mattsun/ oh my , how adult

Kyotani/ shut up Mattsun

Oikawa/ hope you brought condoms

Iwaizumi/ be gentle with her

Kyotani/we aint gonna fuck i just didint want to leave yet

Oikawa/ 😙😙😙😗😙😙😙

Mattsun/ 😳😳😳😳😳

Iwaizumi/ 😒

Kyotani / i hate all of you

Iwa,Kawa, Mattsun/ 💕💞♥️

Kyo put his phone on the table when he saw you come out of the restroom, you were wearing a red panda shirt and matching shorts . Mocha emerged from her home too and meowed for attention . Kyo could not stop looking at you, so cute, so , so cute..

“Mocha! “ you bent down and picked up the brown kitten taking a seat next to Kyo to show him. “Shes a rescue ! I saw her all alone and i just had to help her.”

Kyo took the kitten from you and set it on his lap to pet her. “Shes cute” he leaned back tugging at his jeans trying to relax.

“Whats wrong?” You asked, Kyos lap to pet the happy kitten.

“Had these jeans on all day, i dont want to.. make you uncomfortable.”

Mocha nuzzled into Kyos stomach getting comfy and looked like she was not movin for any reason.

“I dont mine but.. you better do it fast because Mocha is not gonna care that you wanna take em off.”

Gently he lifted to kitten to fuss with his belt , you giggled getting up and grabbing your sketchbook. “Can i show you.. heh my drawings.”

“Of course sweetie, you draw?” He asked , pulling his jeans down with one hand and Mocha in the other. Kyo had on black and pink boxers . “Ugn finally..” he set Mocha back on his lap and placed the jeans on his jacket feeling a little unsure if he should have taken em off.

You hid behind your sketchbook when you saw him on the couch in his boxers. Kyo had tone legs from volleyball and a few tattoos on his legs along with some bruises and knicks.

Kyo looked down at Mocha feeling a little embarrassed. Why were skinny jeans so damn uncomfortable after a while? He asked as he pet the little kitten.

You sat down with him criss cross with the sketchbook on your lap. “Yep! I'm in college for art and design. I want to one day get picked up by a clothing store and have my drawings on shirts”

Kyo leaned towards you looking over the sketches with wide eyes. They might have been all cute things; like kittens, red pandas, hearts, patterns and space but they were so damn good. “You have a real talent these are awesome.”

“Really?!?”

“Yes sweetie. Id put these on my shirts. Oh that reminds me..”

“Oh my gosh!! Kyo that would be so cool!” Gently you placed the sketchbook on the table and looked at Kyo, he was a looking a little unsure of himself. “Whats wrong..?”

“Why exactly did you come into my store ? Ive never seen you in it before”

“ uhm Kyo.. you have a shirt in the window with kittens on it.. so.. “

He laughed wrapping his arm around you making you laugh too. “My ‘Sad Day’ shirt? With all the grumpy cats?”

“Its so cute, how could I not!!!” You hit his chest lightly not liking his tone.

“Okay okay.” Lightly he grabbed one of your hands holding it close. “Happy you did, really.” His eyes drifted off you and around the room.

“Kyo?” You inched closer, picking Mocha up leaning down to place her in her hut.

Kyo picked you up and sat you down on his lap facing him, placing his hands at your hips. He leaned back spreading his legs. “Yes? Sweetie..?” You could feel he was a little hard, it was really hot between your legs..

“Im happy i did too.. i really like you.”

His heart thumped a few times. “First girl to say that to me…” he rested his elbow on the arm of the couch to support his head. “I wasn't the nicest guy in highschool, i'll never forget the day Yahaba slammed me into that wall and told me to get my shit together.”

You looked a little sad at his words, Kyo only mentioned his aggression one other time but even then he sounded upset and full of regret.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked him , cupping his cheeks so he would look at you. His eyes told you ‘yes, yes please.’ But.. “No, i just want to hold you if that's okay.”

“Okay. If we fall asleep my alarm is going to go off at 8 so sorry in advance.” You got comfortable on his lap and Kyo tipped your chin up so you were looking at him.

“Would you be more comfortable on the bed?”

“Yes i think so. I dont think i can sleep like this. Hehe.”

Kyo gripped your hips picking you up, he stepped over Mochas hut and brought you to the bed to lay down with you, his face a little red. You latched onto his sleeve closing your eyes and drifting off. “Night Kyo..”

“G’night sweetie..”

Fuck what was he doing ? Talking about it will help.. right? Kyo had to wait a bit before you were fully asleep to get up and grab his phone.

Kyotani/ Iwaizumi

Iwaizumi/ Yes

Kytotani/ keep this between us

Iwaizumi/ you didn't hit it and ditch did you?

Kyotani/ what? No.

Iwaizumi/ are you scared to make it official Kyo

Kyo stared at the text for a few minutes reading it over and over .

Iwaizumi/ is it the anger issues

He squeezed his phone and sat down on the couch dialing his phone.

“Im scared ill lash out or something”

“Mm.. when was the last time that happened again?”

“The Tourney against the Black Jackals.”

“Ah yes, think Kei had to pry you off Bokuto or something right?”

“Yes… Iwaizumi i can't lash out at her. I just can't, i mentioned Yahaba and that day and she asked if i wanted to talk about it”

“You said ’no’, didn't you” Sigh “Kyotani she's not a threat, she's not an enemy . She's literally just a girl who likes you. Open up to her”

“How.”

“Uuhhmmmm, tell her you want to talk about it. I'm going to bed. You can do this Kyotani”

He hung up .

Kyo rubbed his face for a minute and glanced at you for a minute then back to his phone opening up Messages.

Kyotani/ Mattsun i know your asleep but invite Yahaba to the beach volleyball.

He set his phone down and very slowly made his way back to you. He wrapped his arms around your sleeping body and shut his eyes tight trying to sleep.

**

In the morning Kyo was awake early browsing on his phone, he stared at the screen for a minute before pressing Play on the video.

-flash back-

‘Another score for the Black Jackals!!! It is Match Point !!! ‘

The Sendai frogs were tired, sweaty and losing this Tournament. The Black Jackals were still full of energy and ready to go . It was a very hard game for both sides and Bokuto kept testing Kyotani, this was the first time he met the loud grey haired boy and he just did not like him. He knew Hinata but he did not like him too much.

Kyotani was doing better at keeping his temper under control and his team figured out how to hype him up without making him angry. Kei was not too fond of him but then again he did not really need to be, they just needed to be on the same page on the court.

That owl boy though, he was loud, annoying , and just testing him. Kyotani knew it, every serve, block, and spike was for him to clear or get rid of . Kyotani got hit with the ball a couple times and thats when he lost it.

‘Kyotani has taken another hit from the ball!!!’ Yelled the annoucer .

“Hey hey hey?!! Eye on the ball yea!??”

“Dont let it get to you” Kei told him .

“.........”

“..Kyot-“

He was on the other side of the net ontop of Bokuto punching him .The whole building was dead silent.

The last thing Kyotani remembered was hearing the announcer describe what was happening and Kei pulling him off of Bokuto.

He quit the Sendai Frogs that day, took his last check and left not looking back. He opened an apparel shop he called The Dog House and got in touch with his old highschool teammates starting over.

-end flashback-

You woke up to see Kyos hand on your head , you were not fully awake so you just laid there enjoying the nice feeling on your head. Mocha had also joined you in bed and was between you both sleeping. Kyo smelled like leather… an old leather that was renewed, it made your nose crinkle a bit. Looking up you saw he had a collar tattoo with spikes on it on his wrist . It was kinda silly but kinda cute too , although you wondered what it meant.

A minute later your alarm went off and you whimpered letting Kyo know you were awake. He let go of your head to slam your alarm clock off. He looked upset or angry in the face, and he was still staring at his phone.

Slowly you got up and gently placed Mocha on your pillow so you could scoot closer to him. “Kyo? Did you get any sleep?”

“I have to show you something.” He said as he turned his phone to you pressing Play again.

You were holding the phone now, it was alot heavier than yours . You had watched the video a couple times and everytime Kyo punched Bokuto you flinched. After the second time you placed the phone down to sit facing him.

“Kyo..”

He looked the other way running his hand through his hair.

“Kyo?”

He wanted to run away so bad. Start over again. Someplace without people like -

“Kyo.”

You were between his legs now , he had his knees up and was resting his elbows on them and still did not look at you. Dammit Mad Dog just say something to her, she's right there, dont shut her out.. dont shut..

You grabbed his face turning his head, kissing him, catching him very off guard. Kyo fell back taking you with him . You had no intention of stopping and just kissed him more and more even though he cursed between breaths. Kyo grabbed you lifting you up off his face and chest. You frowned at him and sat down on his lap once he let you go, cheeks flushed and very embarrassed.

“S..swee..sweetie”

“You aren't like that anymore!” You told him while you rubbed your eyes.

“Sweetie no don't cry please..” he sat up taking you in his arms rubbing your back in circles. “Sshh..”

“Please.. talk to me..” You sniffled into his neck squeezing him tight.

Kyo was shaking .. you were shaking . He laid his head on your neck starting from the beginning.. the very beginning. Every few minutes he would stop to check if you were still crying. He would cup your face and wipe under your eyes and ask ‘Are you Afraid of Me’ and you shook your head saying ‘No’ every single time. You were both tearing up by the end of it, Kyotani told you about Yahaba, Highschool after Iwa & Kawa graduated , how he became a Pro and Bokuto. The look on his face just made you so sad and seeing you sad was something he never wanted to see.

“Sweetie.. how , how can.”

“I like you Kyo, a lot. I'm not scared, never will be.”

“I'm so scared ill lash out at you sweetie.”

You grabbed his hand holding it and running a hand up and down his sleeve while you talked. “Kyo.. you let me touch your wolves. When we first met in your shop i noticed you were rubbing it a lot , like you were worried or you thought id just out right touch it”

“I..”

You kissed him again and wiped your eyes free of stray tears. “I want to be with you Kyo, i wanna.. see red pandas with you”

He laughed at that and so did you.

“I already said i'd take you didint i?” He asked cupping your face .

“Just making sure you know i really wanna go heh..”

“I know sweetie, believe me i know.” Kyo kissed you and you blushed wrapping your arms around him.

The alarm went off again too.

••

@zoppzoop @mocha-babes @haikyuu-but-low-iq @milkbreadcat @kozushiki

••

[sonjaohno]

Democracy in America

Hello dear friends and family,

October is off to a crisp start and I've been busy squirreling away at the library. It's already been one month since I arrived, which makes it high time for some reflection. I've been working hard to come up with clever answers to the question of "what my impressions are" mainly because (and a list of so-called impressions follows):

I thought Finns were insecure, with their country branding workshops and whatnot, perennially worried about what other people (read: the Swedes) think of us, but I can tell you, Americans are worse. In all the years I've lived in Berlin, not once has a German person (nor a Berliner—these are two completely distinct groups of people) asked me to tell them what I "think" about their country, or what my "impressions" are. Maybe they know better than to ask. Maybe they really don't care. Americans, on the other hand (including New Yorkers, though a similar non-equivalence exists here), cannot get enough of foreigners' interpretations of their country. I think it's because they genuinely don't know what to think about their country themselves and are waiting for somebody to tell them what the hell is going on here. So, what are my impressions so far?

America is home to some really great things. So far, my top three list is i) cinnamon-flavored chewing gum ii) hazelnut-flavored filter coffee (a mystery but a delightful one) iii) pecan-pumpkin-spice-flavored filter coffee (again, I don't know who came up with this or what they do to make coffee taste like a Hallmark card but I fuckin love it) iv) ditto, snickerdoodles (both the word and the pastry). Oops, that's four.

There is, however, clearly something wrong with a country that has to keep toothpaste under lock and key at the drugstore. I mean, toothpaste is expensive here—$5.99 for a tube, are you kidding me?—but it's still not exactly a luxury item. I literally have to ring a bell at Duane Reed to get an employee to open the toothpaste safe for a tube of Colgate. I wondered about this out loud to a New Yorker, who told me it's because the Duane Reed I went to is located at a "minor transportation hub," in the corner of W 110th and Broadway, which presumably means that this ludicrously wealthy Upper West Side drugstore frequented mostly by Columbia students and faculty is some kind of a crime hotspot. I should probably start carrying a gun.

Americans are loud. I feel like shushing people all the time, which makes me feel like a bad person. If anyone asked me to, I'd be more than happy to provide instructions for adjusting the volume of one's speech to different situations. It'd go something like follows: i) When outdoors, use what you would consider an "indoors voice." ii) When indoors, use what you would consider a "library voice." iii) When in the library, shut the fuck up. Pretty simple, huh?

The American economy would collapse if people stopped living on takeaway meals and coffees. I have never seen people so comfortable dishing out $20-50 per day for food they don't like and coffee they don't need. I mean, I'm not even able to get out of bed without several cups of coffee in the morning but I'd find it really hard to justify a $10 daily budget for iced-mocha-swirly lattes and another $10 for dumplings, when you can just pack a sandwich. The number of students able to afford this kind of lifestyle is just astounding. (This is Columbia, I am aware that the people without trust funds constitute a minority.) I feel positively frugal with my leftover lunches and thermos bottle of coffee (this week it's Donut Shop Roast, which disappointingly does not taste like donuts).

Americans like to think of themselves as libertarians and are famously opposed to state-imposed regulation—but I've never felt as regulated and rule-bound as I have here. It's just that the rules aren't handed down by government officials but by the various enterprises, including private businesses and universities (the latter is included in the former but deserves a honorary mention of its own), who would rather impose elaborate codes of conduct than leave people to their common senses and be sued when something inevitably happens. As one particularly pointless example, I have to complete an online covid-symptom checklist every morning before I'm allowed to enter campus—a "Daily Attestation," it's called—where I solemnly swear that I did not have a cough or a sore throat that morning, either. The only conceivable purpose of this useless exercise is to ensure that if somebody does show up on campus sneezing and wheezing their viral particles around, Columbia can't sued for not having done everything in its power to prevent the virus from spreading. Airing out rooms, though, is strictly out of the question—presumably because it's against some other rule designed to stop students from committing suicide by jumping out a third-floor window. As a person who is physiologically unable to follow pointless rules, I find this kind of self-serving, counter-logical box ticking absolutely infuriating.

It's not all bad, though. Yesterday I went to a Japanese jazz speakeasy around Midtown. We had to stand in line for about an hour, between a group of 17-year-old musical theater majors and 27-year-old jazz enthusiasts. The former were bursting out in spontaneous, perfectly synchronized song every few minutes, the latter were debating scales or keys or some such—I'm telling you, it was like walking into a badly-written scene of Glee. It was worth it though. At one point, during a several-minute-long drum solo, I experienced what can only be described as a moment of pure transcendence. People were all around me were yelling over the music and gesticulating wildly and, for a few seconds, time compressed to something graspable; a thing crackling with energy. An oceanic feeling is, in the words of turn-of-the-century mystic Romain Rolland, “a spontaneous … feeling of the ‘eternal’ (which can very well not be eternal, but simply without perceptible limits, and like oceanic, as it were).” If eternity can be found in a midtown basement, Manhattan can��t be all bad. (Below a video clip I took discreetly when entering.)

P.s. A friend of mine said that I should write an Alexis de Tocqueville -type report about my time in America, which explains the title of this post. For the literary agents and non-fiction editors reading this blog (jk, apparently it's my mum and three of her friends who read these entries—hi!!!), you can email me at sonjaohno at gmail dot com for a book deal.

[swiss-cheeze]

Up || Daniel Webber x reader

Bold = lyrics

Italic = memories

Song - Up from Sing Street

Warnings: talk of physical abuse.

———

It's two o'clock on the edge of the morning

She's running magical circles around my head

I hitch a ride on a dream she's driving

“Stop going so fast love!” Daniel said with a laugh as his hair whipped into his face, the roof of the convertible had gone down ages ago but the pair where on a very clear free way with the speed at 100 and no cars in sight.

“Oh come on Daniel! Let loose!” you yelled to the boy over the wind sloshing across your ears and your hair whipping everywhere above you.

“Not when we’re about to DIE” Daniel said jokingly with a laugh as he gripped the car door, you hit the actors chest and gave him a stern ‘come on pussy’ look, Daniel simply rolled his eyes at you before leaning over to the radio and turned up Kickstart My Heart and pumped his hands into the air with the bass. You yelped and whooped and sang as loud and as high as you could.

She turns to kiss me, I crash back into bed

Daniel awoke with a start, his hair stuck to his sweaty forehead and his sheets stuck to his chest as the rest of him was drenched in sweat, his breathing was heavy and the room was thick and musty; this was not ideal.

Across the street on a grayed out Monday

I see the girl with the eyes I can't describe

And suddenly it's a perfect Sunday

And everything is more real than life

Daniel stood from his bed and rubbed his face as he started getting ready for the day, you had invited him out for breakfast, but what Daniel did not know; you decided to bring your boyfriend, he would've been fine with it had it not have been the boyfriend that frequently abuses you. Daniel had been your best friend since the pair of you where three years old but when high school came around the corner and hormones became an apparent thing in both of your lives, Daniel had a never ending crush on you. Everything about you he loved and he fell in love with you with every moment that passed that he was with you; the funny cat videos you send him, the way you tie your hair back when you’re thinking and making things, the way you have a certain way of doing everything in the morning and your afternoon routine. The poor boy hated seeing you with so many guys that meant nothing to you, and you meant nothing to them. Daniel could always tell if the guy you were dating had a side chick or just wasn't interesting and even though he constantly told you you never listened, and then within the next month Daniel would find you in tears and blabbering ‘sorrys’ from not believing him, of course the actor would bring you in and comfort you with tea and a place to sleep for the night.

I think I'm back in the dream

I think I'm back on the ceiling

It's such a beautiful feeling

Walking down the street Daniel could hear the bustling of the street next to him, the clicking of the soles of his shoes on the pavement, the screaming child just behind him that wasn't allowed a lollipop; even with his headphones in and at a reasonable volume. Everything seemed so loud but so far away, Daniel wanted to tell you how much he loved you, how much he wanted to hug and hold you, kiss you and make you feel safe and okay and happy; but of course you already had someone before he could ask you.

Going up

“(Y/n)?” Daniel asked as he opened his front door and squinted out to his porch, “doll what the hell are you doing?” the tired man asked as he quickly let you in and sat you down on his couch before making his way to the kitchen and boiling the kettle, he knew what you were doing here, he knew something happened between you and your boyfriend, you normally wouldn't be here if it weren't for that. Daniel came back within five minutes with a two cups of tea and placed them both on the coffee table before retreating again to bring out the family biscuit pack and sat down next to you; the blonde didn't speak for a moment as he let you drink your tea and have a bite of an oval cookie.

“H-he slapped me” you whispered softly against the bite you took off your biscuit. Your voice was shaky and quiet as you let the words sink in, not only into Dan beside you; but to yourself as well, you never believed it would happen, you never thought you did anything bad or something your boyfriend didn't like.

“He...he hit you” Daniel confirmed looking at you with wide eyes. You simply nodded as you kept nibbling at your biscuit, “why?”

“An argument broke out, Damian was asking what i had made for dinner and I told him I hadn't made it yet, then he started to get s-so a-angry….” you mumbled, the end of your sentence trailed off as the fresh memories came back and the red mark on your cheek burnt, “a-and he got so….out of control. I-I couldnt s-stop him” you whimpered softly, tears sprouted in your eyes again and dripped down your cheek and into your tea as you took a generous mouthful.

“(N/n)....” Daniel said in a ‘what-do-i-even-say’ tone.

“J-just don-don't worry” you muttered softly as you dipped your biscuit into your warm tea and bit into the soft mush before it dropped, as you ate you looked to Daniel and took a second glance as he sipped his own tea. Dan looked to you mid bite.

“What?” he asked, a watery smile crept its way onto your face as you looked down.

“You’re only in your underwear” you said softly, Dan looked down with a small ‘what?’.

“Oh. Shit.” he said as he looked at his black jocks , “shit i'm sorry (Y/n)” the actor said as he put down his tea and rubbed his eyes. This made you laugh softly as you finished your tea and biscuit.

She lights me up

She breaks me up

She lifts me up

“Its okay” you said with a laugh as you put down your drink, “we’ve been friends for years, ive seen you naked before” you said with a giggle.

“Oh don't bring up that memory” Daniel said as he buried his head in his hands, “that was so embarrassing” the boy mumbled. When the two of you were in your teens you would go past each others houses and let yourselves in as nobody was really ever home, but today just so happen to be the week Daniel had broken his leg and with no one else home to help him shower; you had to be the one to make the commitment. Even though it was for an actual reason it was still something you liked to joke about every now and then; you had to help undress Daniel and shower him all while keeping your eyes up and off of his junk.

“It really wasn't” you said with a chuckle, “it was for a good reason” you said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, I know, but still. I've grown you know!” Daniel said quickly, before he could register the words his face went red as you burst out into a fit of giggles.

“Oh really?” you asked, “down there?” you pointed to his junk, “or up here?” you patted the blonde head which granted you a fun loving death glare from Daniel as he pushed your hand away from his head.

“You know what I mean” Daniel said with a blush.

“I really dont you know” you said with a laugh.

“UP HERE YOU DORK!” Daniel said with a loud voice and a laugh, this caused you to laugh too as you both shook your head.

You find a mystery bound in perfection

You've got to read, but you don't want to reach the end

As Daniel reached the cafe he pulled the headphones from his ears and stuffed them in his pocket with his phone. He could see you from the window already, Damian had a protective arm wrapped around your shoulders as you searched the cafe for Daniel; you almost looked frantic, you wanted to get away from Damien, which is probably the reason you have squished yourself against the window to get as far away from the man as you physically could. Of course that hasn't worked as you got pulled back into Damiens side.

Cause what if everything beautiful's fiction

And this reality's just pretend?

As Daniel walked into the cafe and the door let off a bell sounding out someone was here, a bright smile lit up your face like christmas night as Daniel finally reached the booth. By now you had FORCED Damian from the booth so you could hug your best friend.

“Hey Dan” you said into his neck softly as you squeezed the actor, him returning with the same force.

“Missed you” Daniel said softly into your hair as he nuzzled into your neck; but this moment was short lived as a rather loud and obnoxious cough interrupted you two. You separated from Daniel quickly and smiled before motioning for Daniel to sit down as you went back to your previous seat and Damien was quick to move in next to you; efficiently trapping you.

“So Dan” Damien said with a tight and annoyed smile, “what’ve you been up to recently that has made you stay away from us for so long?” the man asked. Daniel had to fit the urge to roll his eyes at the fakely covered sarcasm.

“Uh, i've been filming down in uh, SA actually. Adelaide; for the new movie with the other Daniel” Dan said with a chuckle. You leant forward in your seat and placed your arms on the table as a sign for Daniel to keep talking; that you were listening with the giant smile on your face. Daniel coughed and chuckled softly as he looked to you with a grin, “it’s called Escape from Pretoria, it's about these two men who break out from a South african prison with help from other people and it's just about their journey of survival really and how they got by; it's based on a book from one of the real escapees, Time Jenkin, Radcliffe is the one who got that role and i got the other guy” Daniel said with such happiness; he loved talking about his job but he loved it when you listen to his stories and things he does with the job. You get as excited as Daniel himself does, it's a nice thing to know.

And then I'm back in the dream

I'm looking up at the ceiling

It's such a beautiful feeling

As time passed and stories got told, Damien had excused himself from the table to go to the bathroom and as soon as he was out of sight Daniel got on topic.

“Has he hurt you recently?” the actor asked as he bent over the table slightly and leant in closer so no one else could hear. You looked to Dan with a scared face before doing the same and leaning in.

“Y-yeah he has” you said softly, “im so sorry” you say as you wipe your eyes from the tears that threatened to fall, “he takes my phone and locks the house and puts my keys somewhere i can't find them” you whimper out softly. Dan quickly gets up from the table and walks around to sit next to you, as he sat his arm wrapped around your shoulders and slowly brought you into his chest for a hug; you wrapped your arms around Dans shoulders and tried to stifle your crying.

“It’s okay babe” Dan said, he didn't even try to stop the nickname falling from his mouth as it felt so nice to say and sounded like the right time to say it.

“N-no it's not!” you whimper softly, “I don't want to be with Damien anymore. I hate him, h-he's so rude! And arrogant. He doesn't like any of the things I do, we disagree on everything all the way down to what to watch on TV!” you exclaimed, your voice wasn't loud enough state for everyone else to hear but Daniel knew what you were doing. Daniel nodded in an understanding of where you were coming from and thought for a moment.

Going up

“Then leave him” Daniel said, “we’ll leave right now,” he exclaimed with wide arms, “we-we pick up your stuff from your house and we head back to mine. You can bunk with me until we find a better place for you to live without him there” Dan said, you giggled softly at his awkwardness but nodded quickly.

“Please, I want to get away from him” you said with a sniffle. Dan nodded as well and clapped.

“Right! Come on, let's get away from here” Dan said as he started to drink the rest of his drink and took the last bite from his food as you started to bring money out from your purse, “what are you doing?” Daniel asked with a concerned look, “you aren't paying,” he said.

“What? No. im giving a tip” you said with a light chuckle as the waitress came over, she asked if the two of you were finished and you both nodded before telling her your ‘friend’ was in the toilet and was going to pay for the food anyway. You handed the woman a fair tip before dashing out of the cafe with the giggles and making quick work of getting to Daniels car before Damien came back.

She lights me up

She breaks me up

She lifts me up

After a quick rush to your ‘previous’ house (as Daniel had now dubbed it) to grab your things the two of you left a little note for Damien, basically saying you where going to change your phone number, that you had run off with someone and your things and that you never wanted to see him again. With To Young to Fall in Love blasting on the radio and the car going down the street at reasonable speed you got to Daniels house in record time; with enough daylight to still make a whole new room just for you in his house (seeing as it was a two bedroom). Daniel helped you set out your room as you wanted before the pair of you flopped onto the living room couch in a fit of giggles with some cool jazz playing in the background.

“I didn't actually think you’d agree with me,” Daniel said, “about moving in with me”

“Of course i would. Anything to get away from that prick” you said with a sigh and a roll of your eyes. You hated Damien since you first met him but he had somehow conditioned you into thinking you loved him and he loved you back, “I actually found out last week he's been cheating on me since before me and him got together” you paused, “I guess that’d make me the cheatee?” you questioned before shrugging, “I don't know what happened with the other girl. Maybe he’ll go back with her” you said with a sigh.

“Don't think about it hun” Daniel said as he sat up alongside you, he nudged your shoulder softly with a blush as he bit his lip, “you know there's always someone out there for you” Daniel said, biting the bullet. You shrugged.

“Maybe there isn't” you mumbled, before looking to the lounge room carpet and picking at the fraying ends.

Up to the stars she shows me

Daniel took a second look at you before scoffing slightly, “‘maybe there isn't’?” Daniel repeated.

“Well, yeah. Maybe i'm just meant to be alone!” you exaggerated.

“Why the hell would you say something like that?” Daniel said with a slight edge to his voice, “(Y/n) you're so beautiful, you're so talented. You send me cat videos almost every day at the same time, you tie your hair up and out of your face” Daniel scoffed as he fell back onto the cough with a huff, “hell, every night before you go to bed you turn the TV off, you got to the kitchen to make sure the kettle is off before you walk up the stairs, TWO AT A TIME, and put on long fluffy socks for the night if its cold before cuddling into the blanket in the fetal position” Daniel said; his face had turned red and was almost in tears.

Dame Street, George's Street, miles below me

Up where the world won't let us down

(Na, na, na, na)

“Daniel…” you muttered softly as you sat next to the actor on the couch as he wiped his eyes.

“(Y/n) im in love with you, and i have been my entire life. Ever since you first came to me from your first boyfriend breaking up with you, with tears streaming down your face and ice cream around your mouth you always looked so beautiful to me. The day we had our highschool formal and you were in that beautiful dress? That was the moment i knew i had fallen for you, i had been discarding my feelings and putting them off thinking it was just stupid teenage hormones; but seeing you walk down those stairs and into the lounge room where i was waiting with your parents and that stupid boyfriend of yous-”

“Braydon” you cut in with a watery smile.

“Yeah! Him. I always hated him” Daniel muttered absently, “ever since then ive been in love with you, and i've fallen more and more in love with you with every day that has passed. I find new things about you almost every day” Daniel said before taking a breath and letting out a small chuckle as he sniffled and wiped his eyes.

Going up

(It's two o'clock on the edge of the morning)

“Daniel…” you said softly, “why didn't you tell me sooner?” you asked as you scooted closer to the actor.

“I didn't want to ruin what we had” Daniel muttered softly as you wrapped your arms around him.

She lights me up

(She's running magical circles around my head)

“I wouldn't have minded you know” you said softly as you turned Daniels head to look at you. You sighed softly at the tears that streamed down his face and wiped away the tracks they had left and cupped Dans cheeks; rubbing your thumb over his cheekbone before letting your gaze drop to his lips.

She breaks me up

(I hitch a ride on a dream she's driving)

“Are you saying i could have asked you out this entire time?” Daniel asked with a chuckle, you nodded with a grin that spread to your eyes.

“I've been in love with you since you first broke your leg” you said before pausing, “wait”

“So you love me for my junk is that it?” Daniel asked with a laugh.

“What no! Of course not you dork!” you said as you pushed Daniel, the boy laughed wholeheartedly as he let himself fall onto his side on the couch before twisting himself onto his back as you came up and placed your knees either side of his hips; neither of you thought of it being sexual, nor did you even want it to be sexual.

“Why then?” Daniel asked, “hmm?”

“Because you trusted me enough to help you in some of your most desperate times without anyone else being there” you said thoughtfully. Daniel leant up on his elbows with a soft smile, “and ive fallen more and more in love with you with each day that passes” you said softly.

She lifts me up

Daniel chuckled softly before you leant in and connected your lips with his; a passionate, searing kiss mixed with every emotion of love, want, distance and everything in between. Your arms wrapped around Daniels shoulders and tangled into his hair as his came around your waist and his hands connected with the skin of your back; you shirt had ridden up from straddling Daniel, but neither of you cared enough to stop.

[fangirlxwritesx67]

-R

AN- whoops well, Ive gone and broken my own rule about writing actors instead of characters. No one's suprised that its this actor that did it. Still remember this is fanfiction- its not real

Your first SPNCon was every bit as wonderful and amazing as you had hoped it would be! You could hardly tell from one moment to the next what was the best part. Everything just kept getting better.

Meeting Jared and Jensen, and getting a picture, was everything you had hoped. Now you were finally waiting in line for a picture and autograph from Ruthie Connell- your queen Rowena! You could see her just a little bit from a distance. From here you could see her red hair and her creamy skin. As you got closer, you could see she was every bit as stunning and gorgeous in person as she was on the show- except even more magical if that was possible. And oh, goddess, she was small- so small. Finally the line moved forward and it was your turn.

"How do you want to pose?" Ruth asked you. Damn, that sexy voice- and she was talking to you. You bit your lip. Feeling bold, you asked, "Ruthie can I touch your neck?"

"Okay?" she said a question in her voice. Goddess, that accent. You reached up one hand and trailed your fingers along her collarbone. It felt like everything you had ever written in fanfiction. Ruthie batted her green cat eyes at you- she was wearing those thick fake lashes that you loved.

"Thank you," you whispered. You pulled your hand away reluctantly and posed like a normal fan for a picture. And her handler said, next, and you had to leave. For the rest of the day, you could hardly concentrate on what was going on. You just kept thinking of how warm and velvety Ruthie's skin had been.

That evening was the Louden Swain concert, and that was amazing. All of your favorite people together on stage! J2 were amazing. Jared Padalecki was a gift- watching him leap around on stage with his long legs and his floppy hair. And Jensen Actual Rockstar Ackles! My God. You lost your mind when Ruth joined them, wearing a short sparkly black dress to sing "My Baby Shot Me Down." You had seen videos of this before- it was nothing like hearing her sing in person. Everyone else on stage disappeared for you. How could someone fit so much sexy in such a tiny hot body? Her long red hair bounced off her shoulders as she danced to the music. At one point, you could swear that she was looking at you but you knew there was no way.

That night you went back to pick up your picture. You opened the envelope and there was, not one, but two pictures. The first one was the picture you had posed for. You knew you would frame this someplace where you could always see it and remember today. The second picture was- oh goddess, the photographer had taken a picture of the moment that you had laid your hand on Ruthie's neck. You felt yourself flush with embarrassment at the hunger visible on your face. Could you be any more obvious. What you hadn't noticed at the time- you were so caught up in the moment- was the way Ruthie was looking at you too- like she could just Eat You Alive. There was writing in the corner of the picture. In slanting capitals, it said simply,

Room 2202 -R.

You couldn't breathe. This had to be some kind of a joke. There was no way Ruth had given you her room number. This was like something from a fantasy. You looked at the picture again, looked at Ruth's exquisite ass and magical face. You closed your eyes as you remembered the feeling of her warm creamy skin under your fingers. While your head still said no, your heart -and honestly, other parts of your body- said yes.

Without allowing yourself to think twice, you went upstairs and straight to Room 2202.

The door swung open before you knocked. It was Ruth's handler from earlier. "She's been waiting for you," he said. "There are two rules. 1, Ms Connell is in charge. And 2, you never tell anyone." You gulped and nodded. He let you into the suite before stepping out and closing the door behind him.

Ruthie was sitting on the couch, ready for you, still wearing the sparkly short dress from earlier. She reached one slim hand out towards you.

"Come here, dearie" she cooed. Your knees were weak as you sat down next to her. She held both of your hands in hers.

You were so nervous and excited that you heard yourself start to babble. "Ruthie, I love you, you're my queen. Rowena was just absolutely the best character on Supernatural and meeting you has been like a dream and I'm just- I think about you all the time. I just can't get you out of my head- the way you talk, the way you look, the way you move. I think about you before I fall asleep-"

Ruth shushed you with a finger on your lips. You sighed. A sexy wicked grin spread across her beautiful face.

"What do you think about me when you fall asleep?" she asked, "I bet you think about touching a lot more than my neck." You gulped and nodded.

"I bet you think about doing naughty, filthy things with me, don't you?" You bit your lip and closed your eyes for just a second.

When you looked up you said, "I don't even know where to start." Ruthie threw back her head and laughed, tossing her dark red curls. Goddess- that neck, that mouth, that woman! She slid one hot hand up the side of your face.

"Let's start here," she cooed and then she kissed you. You had written so many fanfiction kisses for Rowena -with so many people- and described what her mouth must taste like over and over. But everything you could've ever imagined fell short of what kissing Ruthie was actually like. In this moment, all she tasted like was desire.

1000 words for the lovely @marril96 and all the other Rowena girls (and boys?)

[omegawolverine]

hi again damien my pal damien :] i hope you don't mind me not following up to your answer of my ask yesterday until now—there are just There are so many Tasks and Tribulations. in this cruel world. far far too many in my opinion 😭 BUT ANYWAY!!

I AM SO HAPPY YOU GOT YOUR BILLZO MERCH THAT IS SO AWESOME though also i need to say like i agree like the fact that it's already too cold for short sleeves... CRIMINAL!!!! i don't even mind the cold it's just that i have so many band shirts which i want to wear all the time and of course they're all Short Sleeve... and so many of my halloween graphic tees are too 😭😭 it's not a big deal just Annoying. massachusetts weather is so. hmm. not sure how to describe it id just like to strangle it sometimes

AND I'M DOING GOOD :D!! nothing really Special or that interesting happening in terms of myself but im ok with that i don't mind :] plus i think you also saw that post about me fighting for my life cause i Also need to find a day to finally just WATCH the rest of rise, like i still keep scrolling by every meta post too i can't do this anymore 😭 hopefully very soon though :D id give you rise fic recs too but i only know like... one. and i haven't even read it so idk how good it really is 💀

SORRY IF THIS GOT SUPER LONG BUT EITHER WAY TY FOR ANSWERING AND I HOPE YOU'RE STILL DOING GOOD!! good luck with everything you're up against whatever that may be :D

i have looked at this ask every day since u sent it with the intention of answering and then not gotten to it bc adhd so im forcing myself to do it Right Now (so yeah obvi dont feel bad for not following up with me immediately im clearly worse at it than you'll ever be)

nah but fr massachusetts weather is ridiculous, i just have a variety of turtle necks for every fall/winter season to wear under my plethora of short sleeves bc otherwise i cant use more than half my wardrobe during those seasons without freezing to death 🙄 plus it's like downpouring every fucking week but i dont own an umbrella and i have no clue what happened to my raincoat but i fr havent seen it in like 2 years now?? anyways me and my friends went to spirit again today and got soaked bc when we went in the store it wasnt raining and when we left like 45 minutes later it was pouring and we didnt park close.

but ya i did see that post!! hows ur finishing the show going anyways? i havent seen any updates from ur blogs on it but i def couldve missed them 😭😭 i have made no progress since we last spoke bc ive fr just been watching video essays and streams every day with the exception of one day where i just started a new show randomly and watched the entirety of it in one sitting.

but ya i hope ur doing well also!! we will make it through this massachusetts weather together o7

[flora-and-fauna-bby]

Can they though? This is what annoys me so much about the vegan community, most of them act like they are the greatest people and are helping the planet and that they are so kind . Do you know how many farmers have killed themself because they don't have enough money to survive? You see these large farms with acres of moorland grazing and think they must be rich they can find another job. But they cant most farms in britain are family farms passed down from generation to generation they inherit all the land and the animals. Most farmers barely have enough money to look after themselves cause all of their profit goes straight back into the farm and livestock (feed,vet bills, new equipment, transportation fees).

And have you noticed the economic crisis going on ? Highly trained managers and people with degrees are applying for jobs which they're over qualified for, so many people have become unemployed due to the pandemic and they are all looking for new jobs so even if a farmer somehow managed to sell their farm they would struggle to find a job and would most likely end up homeless.

But why can't they switch to arable agriculture? There are many reasons this isn't possible but the most common ones are soil quality , lack of machinery and lack of space. But they have acres of land for their animals and they have moorland ive seen it. The moors / heathland in the uk is protected and is very poor quality soil which is why Heather grows on it as Heather likes bad soil that other plants can't grow in.

Farmers are in a tough situation, its a loose , loose situation for them. And then people like earthling ed start calling them arrogant and arguing with them about things they have little choice in. Just from watching a few of his videos he doesnt seem like the most reliable source as he supports peta and like peta uses anthropomorphic language to describe simple behaviours , for example the tik tok farmer video he did where he talks about the mother cow protecting her calf by holding her head over the top of them - you dont have to be an animal behaviourist to see that she was leaning towards the phone to investigate it and that her head is obviously gonna be near the calf cause they're sat right under her neck. The calf looks to be a few minutes old and probably laying so close to her head because she's cleaning the amniotic sack off them. From the video you also cant tell whether the calf is male or female , if they're female then they'll most likely stay with their mother (at least jn the uk). Id love to know @dairyisntscary 's thoughts on the cattle videos in the tik tok farmer video by earthling ed (I have more experience with sheep than with dairy so I'm not 100% on the issues in the video ). And please be respectful and dont send them hate.

A farmer can always find a different job, but an animal can’t find another life.

Ed Winters