#i can't even keep up with what i have on my plate cmon man

[longeyelashedtragedy]

What are your most vanilla headcanons? Line what are your missionary position thoughts about Frank et al

Ohh at first I read this literally and was like hmm, is Frank a fan of missionary? This is a good one, I'm really horn dogging it these days but I'll take a peek into my soul for the vanilla that lurks within:

-Maybe this is kind of basic, but I think Frank really likes to be able to lie around reading a book with his uh, partner. This then becomes a bit tricky with Mason (and with Jamie who totally does not read books, but--secondary headcanon--I think Jamie loves Frank to read to him) because Mason isn't a reader. I think this might cause a bit of an internal challenge for Frank over time. As we kind of see in "couples try new things" there's a point where Frank breaks and can't keep playing the Daddy role--like, it's only natural for him up to a certain point. I think he'd grow frustrated not being able to Read Books with Mason, but wouldn't know what to do with that frustration. Then on the flip side, when he gets with Anthony he is threatened by Anthony's intelligence (which I haven't written about yet, but I'd really like to.) My man just can't win!

-Canonically, Frank Senior still lives in the same house all the kids grew up in. At least one of his two daughters lives right around the corner from him, and both daughters have fun going to his pub. Frank could drive over in an hour, hour and a half, but he...doesn't. So, here's where the headcanon comes in: sometimes Frank Sr goes into Franko's Little Bedroom (we got to see it in this ancient Chelsea video and the interactions between the two Franks sure are something alright) and just sits on the bed and lets the sadness? melancholy? wash over him. How did it end up like this?

-When Frank was a younger adult, I think he enjoyed being handy in the kitchen, but now he's taken on that Man Of The House persona (though from all I've taken in he doesn't give like...domineering asshole husband vibes) and sits around uselessly watching tv during cooking times. EXCEPT that I think his 90s sitcom marriage (as you so accurately called it!) winds up reinforcing this because I can definitely see Christine being like "omg, you're a hot mess do not come into my kitchen you'll ruin everything." (I can see this because she has said as much on Loose Women, lol.) Wonder who his role model is for Being a Good Husband? Uncle Harry I bet.

-It's funny, because some headcanons I've had then turn out to be true? For example, that Frank's spoiled to death by his in-laws (the Son they Never Had!) And god he must totally eat that shit up. I imagine that they were hesitant about Frank at first. A big shot footballer? Sure, he's rich, but there are so many bad stories about footballers...! But Frank Isn't Like the Others! He's smart and reads and pays attention to politics and writes in his journal on the team bus! He was able to make a good impression. How lucky that he Isn't Like the Others!

-Related...I headcanon that Frank Sr (back like over 10 years ago when his opinion still mattered) likes Christine's family's uh, philosophies on the UK. This actually comes up very briefly in the threesome fic because...what better place to put that than a threesome cmon

-When they were younger, Frank happily did Jamie's homework for him. Since Jamie's legendary neuroatypical brain made it hard for him to eat most foods, Frank would eat his extra unwanted food at family dinners. We know food was always a comfort for Franko, and this way no one would yell at Jamie for leaving food on his plate. They were always there for each other <3

-Has this come up in my fics? Probably. I'm not sure how to articulate this the right way--but I think Frank has never been in denial to himself about his sexuality. He's been ashamed, scared, all of that, sure. But I think he almost doesn't even wish he was straight? Like the only reason why he'd wish that was for the convenience. But he loves men and wants them with every ounce of his being! So he can't even imagine being another way. In my mind, he ultimately uses this to justify being a cheater, asshole, and a creep to younger lads, which is very fun to write.

-Is this one too spicy? I've been thinking this basically since the foundation of the Lampardverse lol--There's no way in hell Frank could have gotten married to a lady with a very "classically feminine" body type. Like noooooooo way. I think he'd freak the fuck out! His kinsey 5 powers can only go so far.

-Anthony has toooootally challenged Frank to a chess match. And Frank doesn't know how to play. So Anthony teases him about how he should be able to learn it quickly what with that IQ he has. Frank of course is stressed out by this because he can't have Anthony beat him in something.

-In the Derby era (digestif!) I think Frank fooled himself into thinking he was truly in love with Mason.

-It took Frank until 2021 to have a son and while I don't doubt that he loves his kids, I think he might have some mixed feelings about Having A Son--or if he doesn't now, he did then.

-I think Jamie Jamie Cousin Jamie and Christine must have an interesting relationship. She's definitely way smarter than he is, but they seem to get along quite well, and it's fun that they're in different parts of the same Industry--I think this puts Jamie at ease--she can treat him as a peer and not as Jamie the pretty face but total joke--and I'd like to think she appreciates Jamie a lot for actually treating Frank nicely, as I headcanon her as being a Frank Sr anti at this point too. Of course, as always with anything in the Lampard universe, there's a lot going on behind the scenes. Oh and--Christine and Frida (Jamie's wag) don't like each other at all.

-Oh, and I think this might actually be @protect-daniel-james 's idea, but it's so delightful that I have to put it out there--Mason was the snitch in the Utd dressing room last season!!!

shit did you want things that aren't Lampard related? this is kind of all I think about 😭. Except this:

-Nobody knew how much Mikel's sanity depended on Granit--not even Mikel 😭

[fledermaus-mainblog]

I just. Want to rp Andy so bad but I don't but I do but I don't but I do but I don't

Someone help

[iisuya-simps]

A Kings Coronation (Royal au – Otoya x Reader)

A/N: I've been trying to write this since his birthday celebration card came out

Klab please let me marry this man ~ I will give him my s o u l

God, I wish this were me...

Enjoy~

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Word count: 2458

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The day of Otoya's 18th birthday. Today he would be crowned king and take over the kingdom. You woke up early and rode all morning from your country to see him. A few hours later you woke to the sun shining in your eyes, seeing how you slept most of the way.

It was crowded when you got there. Guards lined up at every corner. People came far and wide to witness the crowning of a new king. You had to push through the crowd to even get close to the main balcony when a hand touched your shoulder.

“There you are! I finally found you!” You feel someone's arms wrap around your waist. It was him. “Otoya!” You turn and give him a hug, he squeezes you back. “Thanks for coming.”

“How could I miss my best friend's 18th birthday/coronation??” “Haha, this place is totally packed, huh? Just getting over here to you was crazy.” “They're all here for you.” You give a warm smile.

“Congratulations, King Otoya Ittoki.” You curtsy. “Gosh... Hearing you say it all formal like is kinda embarrassing.” He scratches his head. “Well, I'll answer as the birthday king should.” Otoya puts his hands on his hips puffing out his chest. “You have my thanks, dear Y/N.” Then bows. “Maybe that wasn't so regal...” you both laugh.

“Well, today is about to kick into high gear so stick close to me, ok?” “I promise I won't leave your side.”

“Still, I'd find you even if you vanished into thin air. We'll have lots more time to talk if we stick together, plus everyone can know about us right?”

“Know about us?”

“Let's go!” You follow close behind him but find it challenging with all of the people. You hesitate to grab his hand but he takes yours first. You look up and see his bright smile and wink as he guides you through the crowds of people till he sneaks you inside.

“Hey, there's something I'd like to show you.” “Oh?” “Close your eyes.” “Otoya...” You whine. “Come on it's a surprise!”

“Fine.” You close your eyes and he takes your hand guiding you slowly down the hall.

“Don't peek, ok?” “I wouldn't dream of it.” You go down a few halls then Otoya puts his hands over your eyes. “It's just up ahead, so put your trust in me. Keep walking straight.”

Continuing down the corridor you approach some steps and a large door. “There's a small staircase so watch your step.”

“Shouldn't I be the one surprising you?” “Maybe. But it's not often we see each other. Just a few more steps and we're here!” He takes his hands away from your face. “Open your eyes!” Revealed to you is a grand balcony with a gorgeous view of the land. “Ta da!”

“Wow, Otoya!” “Are you surprised?” “This is amazing! I've never been here before.” “This is the prettiest spot in the whole castle, so I had to show you! There's even an awesome view of the ocean!”

You can see every corner of the courtyard. You walk up to the railing and lean forward taking in the sights, Otoya joins you from behind.

“Beautiful isn't it? Wonderful weather, and a beautiful princess.” You giggle. “And a charming prince, soon to be king.”

You both heard a commotion from below. “Uhh, it looks like everyone is looking for me. They won't check here right?” He scratches the back of his head. “Maybe we should go back.” “Nah, it'll only be a few minutes, no harm done. Besides look!” Otoya shuffles in a bag behind his back.

“I brought us some cake for us to eat together!” You cross your arms. “Otoya isn't that for the reception?” “Well yeah but I want to eat it with you now... And it's my birthday so anything goes!” You shake your head and laugh. “Alright then, let's dig in.” “Yay!”

He places the plate on the table to the left of the balcony. “After you, princess.” He pulls out a chair. “How kind of you your majesty.” Grabbing two forks from his bag he sits across from you unwrapping the cake. “Waah, this looks sooo good. Itadakimasu!” You both took a bite savouring the vanilla cake and fluffy buttercream frosting.

“Mmm, I knew it.” “Knew what?” “That this cake is way tastier being here with you than at the party.” “Uh-huh.” “What? You don't feel the same way?” He pouts. “Everything's better with you, Otoya.” “Really? I think so too... With you I mean!” You both gobble down the rest of your cake not saying a word but simply enjoying each other's company.

“Ahh, that hit the spot. Shall we go?” “You have cake on your face silly. You'll look like a fool if you go out like that.” “Hmm? Where is it?” He licks around his lips. “No on your cheek, here.” You laugh stepping closer to wipe the icing with your thumb from his cheek. Sticking it in your mouth you then clapping your hands together.

“That's better.” “T-thanks...” He blushes but quickly recovers. “Well, the party's just getting started.” You place your hands on his shoulders. “Let's make this the best day ever!”

You and Otoya go back down to greet the people outside in the crowd. Staying closely by his side he never let you out of his sight. “Otoya there you are! I swear you have no sense of time. The ceremony is about to begin!” The queen crosses her arms. “Already?” “Yes, now let's go.” “But Y/N...” “I'll be fine.” You smile. He takes both of your hands in his. “I'll come to find you after, ok?” “Alright, now go get your crown.” You wink.

The crowning ceremony was lovely. Otoya took the coronation oath and made a speech. Afterwards, everyone gathered in the main ballroom then the celebration really began. You were wandering around near the edge of the ballroom when you felt a hand pull you around the corner.

“Hey.” “Oh hi.” You smile and fix your eyes on his crown. “So what's next, king?” “Hehe, come with me.” You spend the rest of the day greeting more people, enjoying the food at the banquet and listening to the royal orchestra. When nightfall came Otoya leads you away from the dwindling crowds to his bedroom to retire for the night.

“Wow, that was a blast.” You jump on his bed and sink into the duvet. “We hung out all day huh?” “Yup seems like it.” “Time flies when I'm with you. Oh! And did you hear the band? They were all like bweeh daa daa doooo.” Otoya mimics a violin shaking his head around.

“Ah! My crown is gonna fall!” He juggles it between his hands leaning over and catching it before it hits you. “Gotcha. Whoa!” The carpet slipping from under him he fell on top of you anyway. “S-sorry y/n!” There was a moment you stared into each other's eyes. You blushed a bright red then laughed.

“Cmon... no laughing. I just let my guard down a bit...” he pouts. “You're just a clutz, Otoya.” You scoot off to the other side of the bed. “Am not! I always act like a king should...” “Uh huh. So what does it feel like to be a king anyway?” He places his hand on his chin and ponders.

“It's not much different than being a prince yet I don't think. Though I guess a big responsibility falls on my shoulders now that I am a king. I have a whole kingdom to look out for after all. And you.” “I can look after myself.” “But you don't have to.” Otoya twiddles his thumbs together.

“Anyway... Today is special! After all, you're here with me.” He raises a brow. “Hey, why are you so far away? Didn't you promise not to leave my side? Come sit by me. You're making me lonely...” He pouts again. “Promise you won't fall on me again?” “Not on purpose.” “Haha.” You move closer and the both of you talk about the day's events. Though the whole time, you couldn't help feel butterflies dance in your stomach.

“I had a great time today, Y/N.” “Me too.” “Everything was so wild during the day, but now all I hear is you.” His hand caressing your cheek. You gaze, getting lost in his eyes. “Those lips hold the voice I cherish most.” His thumb brushes over your bottom lip. Leaning forward his lips meet yours as they come together in a sweet kiss. You stay like that for a moment, then part. You turn away embarrassed. “Wait what's wrong? Don't turn away.” He giggles. “You left yourself open for that.” You laugh too.

“Look at me.” He turns your head and your eyes meet once more. “I'm sorry I guess I just wasn't expecting that...” He places both hands on the side of your face slowly pulling you into another kiss. “Were you expecting that?” “Hehe.” You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back. You melt into each other drawing out each kiss for as long as you could. “I don't know, were you expecting that?” You both laugh and he pulls you into his arms.

“Oh, Y/N...” He sighs. “I just want you all to myself.” “So selfish, your majesty.” “Hey, a king's orders are absolute you know. That being said, I order you to stay and talk all night to me.” “I guess I cant disobey direct orders.” “Hehe, no you can't.” You lay back and chat in his arms, steadily getting more sleepy you yawn.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” “I did arrange to stay for a few days.” “Really? He beams then suddenly gets nervous. “W-what is it?” You ask, both looking serious and sit up.

“Y/N, would you stay longer if I asked you to marry me?” Your eyes widened. “O-Otoya I-”

“I know it's sudden, I just can't wait. I want you to be mine.” “Are you sure? There are plenty of other princesses that are dying for your hand in marriage.” “Well of course there are other princesses, but you're the only one I have my eyes on. You're too special not to be my beloved.”

“Otoya...” A happy tear slides down your cheek but he wipes it away and holds your hands. “Hows about I ask you again tomorrow? More formally.” “Okay.”

You're unable to hold back the grin from your face. Marry Otoya? Being his friend is one thing but this is a dream come true.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” You get up and grab your purse shuffling around. “Close your eyes Otoya.” “Ok ok... You take the little box from your purse and open it to place a small wooden triangle in his hand. “You can open your eyes now.” He looks down at his hand to see a small triangular pick. “A pick?” He studies it. “For your guitar!”

“Wha-” reaching under the bed you pull out a brand new redwood guitar. “Wow! For me?! Are you sure?!” “Of course! Otoya takes the guitar running his fingers over the frets and strings. “Happy birthday Otoya.” He sets the guitar down by the nightstand beside him. “Thank you Y/N!” He tackles you to the bed holding you tight.

You spend the rest of the night giddily talking about your goals, dreams and aspirations for the future. Eventually falling asleep next to each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the morning you wake to a blushing Otoya combing his hand through your hair and your eyes flutter awake.

“Good morning, Y/N.” Otoya presses a kiss to your forehead. “Morning.” You yawn. “Did you sleep well?” “That was the best sleep I've had in a while.” Otoya beams. “Good, are you hungry? Would you like breakfast? I could have the cook bring us something.” “That sounds lovely.”

“I'll be right back!” Otoya rushes off to the kitchen and has a special breakfast made. He returns with the cook serving both of you a buffet.

“Otoya!! We cant eat all this!?!” "That's ok, there's plenty of variety so just pick what you want!” You share a large breakfast together in bed. Otoya insists on feeding you dessert, but after the feast you just had you couldn't possibly take another bite.

After a quick rest, Otoya leads you on a stroll through the garden. It's early spring and the flowers are just starting to bloom. You're walking along when you pull Otoya to a stop.

“Hibiscus!” You wander over to the colorful display of red, yellow, white and pink flowers. “Hibiscus is my favorite flower.” You hold back your hair and take in the sweet almost fruity fragrance. “Y/N.” Otoyas hand takes yours.

“We've known each other since we were kids. As the years have gone by I've realized how special you are to me as a friend and something more. I promise to love and protect you as I will my kingdom. With you by my side, I feel as if I can do anything. I will give you each and every one of these flowers and more.” Otoya kneels down in front of you.

“My heart belongs to you and only you.” You gasp as he opens the velvet box to reveal a dazzling yet subtle ring. “Say you'll be mine, forever and always.”

“Otoya...” You tear up once more. “Yes, of course I'll be yours!” He stood and took the ring out of the box placing it on your finger. You leap to hug him almost knocking him over in the process. This was better than you could ever imagine.

"Otoya, I love you." Your heart pounds as you pull back to look him in the eyes.

"I love you too, Y/N." You share a very heartfelt passionate kiss.

Otoya plucks a flower from one of the branches and tucks it in your hair.

“There, for my beautiful bride to be.” You plant a gentle kiss on his cheek and walk hand in hand back to the castle where you greet the queen.

You feel quite foolish when you realize that it was your parent's plan all along to get you two together, but it worked out so naturally you didn't care. You were getting married to the guy of your dreams, and that was a miracle within itself.

Your wedding was celebrated with your family and civilians from far and wide.

But with Otoya by your side, this truly was a dream come true.