#i can't even begin writing it all out but she is so toxic omg and rlly

[biborispavlikovsky]

Pleas update on roommate situation when you talk dudjdn i need to know if they are mad about the shoes thing

ok so this is where things are right now:

1. after asking if she was upset with me she said no and since then she has been normal again towards me, which makes me think she was afraid of me over the shoes thing ? no talk tho but i don't think there ever will be one which is whatever

2. i wanted to speak to her over the shoes thing but she did not even come into the house when she returned them--she opened the door and tossed them in and left so i didn't get a chance (and i drove 5h there and was about to drive 5h back so i didn't bother texting/chasing her down bc i was like whatever i'm annoyed but i'll be over it by the time i'm back and hopefully this will have taught her not to take my shoes without asking)

3. was just informed by my other roommate that her version of events is the exact opposite, she says she came in and tried to speak to me and i wouldn't look at her or respond

4. she also told my other roommate that when i got back she tried to speak to me again and the same thing happened, and unless she choked on her words while scurrying out of the room whenever i came in that did not happen either lol

but anyway, seems like she was scared of me bc of the shoes thing ? which is slightly better i guess than being mad at me but still ??? and things between us seem to be fine again so that's good but don't love that she was literally lying about me and making me sound like i was the problem when i wanted to talk it out and she never gave me the chance

[trampledore]

Agatha All Along Ep 8 & 9 - spoilers!

Just my thoughts about the finale. And completely without structure. But damn, I needed to write this down.

Not what I expected but loved it so much

Strangely didn't make me cry while watching but it's such an incredibly sad and satisfying resolution to the Witches' Road story

They set it all up perfectly with how Billy created it. The road IS real, but it's also true that Billy made it.

The KISS. AND THE WAY SHE TOUCHED RIO'S FACE WHILE FLOATING AWAY

"Why don't you want me" 😭😭😭

The fact that Nicky and Agatha made the ballad...I am not ok!!!

Rio took him while Agatha was asleep OMFG no wonder Agatha hates her

It turned out to make so much sense that Rio is trying to kill Agatha and that Agatha hates her. The dynamic seems so logical now. I only don't get why Rio was trying to physically hurt her in ep 8 before they kissed. This whole struggle seemed kinda cruel. For someone who claims to love her.

Omg the way that Rio let the flowers grow on Agatha's grave, I AM NOT OK

And how Agatha kept killing witches for her son. That's so heartbreaking, I can't even. And then she kept going because it made her feel good for a moment. Like a drug addiction 😭😭😭

And I'm so glad that she is a ghost. Like, I wouldn't have recovered if she'd have permanently disappeared. And that Billy and her are a coven now - it's literally what I wanted most from this series ("spirit as my guide" OMG😭🙌🏼)

And in a way, Agatha and Rio are together now. In the truest way. Maybe the only way that's possible. Like, they are actually endgame. Tho it sort of seems a bit like a toxic relationship ngl. Rio is definitely in a strong position of power in this. And she may not actually take pleasure in hurting Agatha, but she's not too averse to it either. Idk. I'm still happy about it tho. It's such a difficult, unique and compelling dynamic. Like, I've already seen people complaining online that they killed off the lesbian and that there wasn't a happy ending. BUT THERE WAS. They literally ended up together, wdym?!

(She planted flowers in the yard on her way out 😭🤌🏼)

Also, she came back after all and they are looking for Tommy now together! So she's going to return! And I'll get my mentor relationship. So happy about this.

Also glad that Jen survived in the end. I didn't really care about her before, but the way she smiled when she got her power back changed everything for me.

Surprisingly I smiled a lot during the finale. Idk why. Logically, I should have cried. But the happy stuff got to me more intensely than the sad stuff for once.

Honestly I wish it would have made me more emotional. But it was too expected, I guess.

Also, I'm begging to get a backstory for Agatha and Rio. Like, they already knew each other when Nicky was born. And they looked like they had already broken up. So, where is my lesbian backstory?!

The fact that Rio let Agatha keep her son for 10 years at all is such a prove of her devotion. Man I'm on my knees.

And it's so devastating. Nicky basically died because he didn't wanna kill more witches. But then Agatha just kept killing them anyway. No wonder she's afraid to face him in the afterlife.

On another note....she's so pretty as a ghost 😍🔥 like. What?! The new dress, the hair, the makeup. Absolutely love it. They could have kept a bit of the black, but I still love it very much.

And I'm so attached to Billy now. I just want both of them to be happy. It's a shame that Jen left the coven. But I guess it was always supposed to be "coven two". From the very beginning. And omg can we talk about the fact that Agatha and Nicky made up the ballad together😭😭😭 that just changes EVERYTHING. She DID walk the road before. In the truest way. It's HER road. Billy may have made the trials real, but it was always a ballad about Agatha's road. OMG

[thatstonedwriter]

hello!! since requests are open i'd love to request a ship for the boys <3

i'm a bi & ace jewish brazilian girl, currently in college in the us, majoring in theatre & minoring in translation (i want to be a musical theatre actress and/or playwright and/or translator). i'm 1.72m tall, have long brown hair that i've never dyed (i start thinking about it but chicken out), and no tattoos but very clear ideas of what i'd like to do if i ever got one. fluent in portuguese & english, currently learning french, and i have a life objective to become a polyglot (4+ languages!!).

i'm in love with theatre, literary analysis, linguistics, music, writing, and art in general — will absolutely ramble about anything i am interested in, and also might have strong opinions on stuff that maybe i didn't need to have a strong opinion on 💀 i can get a bit combative about that at times... i definitely take as my biggest skill, besides singing and acting which are quite literally my intended job, eloquence and just my way with words (toxic trait is believing i'd talk my way out of a murder fr fr). friends that know me more recently would even say i'm an extrovert because of that, but honestly i am a pile of nerves of an introvert with social anxiety that simply loves yapping and putting on a show. most notable quirk/habit might be how precise i always am with finding the right words because i simply cannot leave an opening for misinterpretation (and that's on anxiety and a suspicion of undiagnosed adhd oops); that might lead me to be a bit picky (for the lack of a better word), specific, and/or literal with the words other people use as well.

other tidbits: i can't cook for shit, i love cats (i have a rescue named lily) but also like dogs a lot, i love kids and have been told i'm good with them. i'm crazy lucky for some reason and i love crime comedy movies. i'm almost always writing or thinking about writing but i can't ever finish a project (and you may have realized now i write too much). i love arts & crafts & other manual activities, i do knot friendship bracelets to de-stress. my default hangout with anyone ever is grabbing coffee. i'm also pretty proud of my music taste — from alt rock to 20s-40s music, love curating the vibes and i'm a bit of a playlist freak. also i would 100% show brazilian music (mostly rock and mpb, brazilian popular music) to whoever i'm paired with 💥🇧🇷

hope this was good to write with and not too much oops 💀 and thank you so much in advance!! <3

A/n- Hello, and thank you for requesting! I'm so excited to write for a fellow theatre/language nerd! I wish you luck in school, and with your goals of writing and learning more languages. All of that is super impressive! Lots of love to you (and your cat omg give Lily plenty of hugs)

I'm pretty sure this is the first matchup I've ever done, so I hope you enjoy!

I ship you with...

Kimiko!

Your affinity with language and theatrics is what initially caught Kimiko's attention! With how much she appreciates art and music, your singing and acting is such an inspiration for her to express herself.

In the beginning, Kimiko had been incredibly cautious and closed off. When Butcher or M.M would talk shit, you and Frenchie would be the first ones to her defense. Your combative nature is inspiring to Kimiko- she loves how opinionated you are, and how willing you are to stand up for what you believe in.

I’d say one of the first things that got the two of you to bond is making friendship bracelets together. It started out with Kimiko watching you de-stress after a particularly rough encounter with a Supe. The repetitive motion seemed to steady your shaking hands, and Kimiko couldn’t help but wonder if making bracelets with you would help with her own stress and anxiety- after that, it's history

Kimiko's mutism definitely doesn't stop her from joining in the conversation. She began teaching you sign language not long after Frenchie. He would help give you additional lessons/practice.

I would imagine you pick up on Kimiko's SL pretty quickly, given your proficiency with language, but even if it took you a while, Kimiko just appreciates the effort and compassion, not to mention how clear and precise you are with your wording- A refreshing change to The Boys never really saying what they mean.

Your shy nature makes Kimiko pretty protective of you. Even knowing how combative you can be, Kimiko prefers to back you up, no matter what. Every time you say something, Kimiko signs either agreeing with you or emphasizing your point.

I think Kimiko would ask you to dance and sing with/for her all the time. She loves the variety of music you listen to, and can't get enough of your voice. Teach her some new dance moves and she'll be so happy

Dates between the two of you either consist of staying in and watching movies or going to get a quick coffee (you two have snuck out with Frenchie on more than one occasion, to M. M.'s dismay)

Bonus Ship- Frenchie!

It was honestly a tough tossup between Frenchie and Kimiko so I thought I'd add Frenchie in as a bonus, I hope that's alright

Obviously he'd love how passionate and skilled you are when it comes to language- absolutely helps teach you French.

Like Kimiko, Frenchie loves how artistically inclined you are. He'll join in singing and dancing with you, all in good fun. He's probably high as a Kite, so you can expect him to be a bit unsteady on his feet, but the enthusiasm is there

You're gonna get this dude hooked on Brazilian music. His taste is so varied that I think he'd have a great time being introduced to all of your music- even if he doesn't love it, he appreciates you sharing part of your life with him

Frenchie is more than happy to cook for you and teach you if you're interested- but mainly enjoys being able to take care of you, even if its something as small as making you breakfast

Bonus! You and Frenchie/Kimiko more than likely bring at least one stray cat back to the hideout- and no one is allowed to say shit about it or Kimiko breaks their arms

[doctorguilty]

She's just... way too soft looking like am I crazy?

(Big rant)

That I didn't enjoy her in the art style?? Like it almost feels like it's lending itself specifically to the weird writing ultimately framing as Betty being like, passive to all of Simon's choices, if that makes sense??? Like the soft innocent look but it's WRONG because in the og series, in a flashback, this was Betty something like, the day before she traveled, so the SAME age and placement in time

It just like keeps bothering me not just because it does Simon so dirty but like, she was such peak Unhinged Woman, everything she did was her choice and she went out of her way to even go against Simon's wishes and like double cross his friends for her own goals like!! It just rubs me a weird way, the design tweaks plus her being written like that, literally god forbid women do anything shhdjwfjwjr not a single flashback of magic betty either, b/c like show me how you're gonna draw that I don't trust you, cause like what are you gonna do make her soft and squishy still and have her be like "omg I'm just so helpless to the whims of ice king whatever shall I do" when almost every episode she shared screentime with him she was soaking him in milk and throwing him against the wall, get real

Like do you see my issue?? Only depicting her in the earliest point of her timeline and framing her with only her most Weak traits. As if she doesn't become:

And then later:

Like when the whole thing is brought up people react like it's a "oh you just think simon shouldn't be accountable you think it's okay betty threw her life away for him" when a) SHE DIDN'T she went on to be very successful in her field of choice (the same field as simon) that their peers ridiculed, they were never ever even once depicted as unhappy together, and b) it does betty dirty as well!! She's not a helpless girl she was a grown woman who happened to be stubborn to a fault to the point where what she wanted would go even against Simon's wishes, by force

The dynamic between them in the f&c finale FEELS like it was written by someone who either disregarded that or just literally didn't retain or be aware of Betty's later arcs in AT

She was such a peak Unhinged Woman, everyone loved her for that, and it didn't come out of nowhere, like the magic made her crazy and amped up her irrational behavior, but before she ever touched magic, she chose to go through the time portal, told simon to suck it up about dying because it wasn't happening on her watch, kick some lady's ass to save him, and then dedicated the rest of her time in Ooo to wanting to save her fiance from insanity so they could be together again. (And I'm sorry some people think "devotion to your lover because you want a life with them" is inherently toxic and ""codependent"" but I think that's a you problem, I think that's a very common and relatable story in human culture from the beginning of time dnfjsjjdjd)

The squishy betty just isn't the same as the bug-lookin lady all confident in her green t-shirt. Squishy betty can't evolve into magic betty. Do you understand. Can anyone hear me it's so dark

[koqabear]

hiii, your works are absolutely amazing, esp only you darling, i had literally had chills when i read it, it was so fucking terrifying in the best way possible. i know you spoke about your thought process when writing longer fics, but i wanted to ask how you nail characters and emotions so perfectly. i'm trying to write a thriller/horror fic right now, and you just write the genre so well, i had to ask. how do you show characterization so well? i'm sorry if this doesnt make sense lol 😭

AHHHH OMG THANK YOU SM 😭😭 this was a little hard for me to explain bc honestly i don't even know how i do it myself... i tried rlly hard to break down little things i like to do under the cut, i hope this helps!!

(note. i literally tried so hard to explain this as thoroughly and clearly as i could that i drafted it and FORGOT ABOUT IT. i know its late but i hope you're still able to find a bit of use from this.)

so first, whenever i think of a character, i try to flesh out a few things: what is their role in the story, what kind of dynamic do i want them to have with other characters, and what kind of person do i want them to be/be perceived as overall?

*something that i'd like to point out is the importance that inner dialouge/thoughts vs. the behavior and spoken dialogue can have on characterization. it really helps establish a character as a good or bad person and can make them more dimensional (ex: having a scene where yeonjun comforts mc over a breakup but is only thinking about how happy he is to have her to himself now)

the two most complex and important characters in OYD are beomjun, ofc; when writing them, the very first thing that came with their character was their roles: yeonjun was the best friend, beomgyu was the stranger and eventually, catalyst to every bad event 😭 yeonjun is the best friend who is pining hopelessly after the mc and has a false moral compass-- he's protective over the mc and keeps a tense relationship with beomgyu; just a tad bit afraid of what the other is willing to do, but still willing to go along with it bc of his obsession. beomgyu is made out to be the charismatic stranger that the mc just can't help but get close to; he has a very manipulative relationship with both the mc and yeonjun, and he's used as a device to move the story along, if that makes sense.

so with yeonjun, i made him out to be very sweet and doting over the mc; scolding her for letting gyu fix her laptop, feeling bad for lying to her, caring for her while she's sick, comforting her after her n jaemin broke up. i also added how close they were by adding small details like the fact that they've been friends for a long time, enough for yj to know the mc's family, and for them to be able to be touchy and clingy. i did all that to show that yj really cared for the mc and that his feelings for her were genuine; by building a background and adding small scenes like the one where they got caught in the storm and the mc has clothes for yj to change into, their close relationship was made believable.

but alsoooo, i wanted to show that yeonjun was very possessive and borderline (straight up) obsessed with the mc-- constantly being around her, scolding her for small careless mistakes, getting jealous when seeing her around other men and following her during a date; all things that eventually escalated bit by bit-- but still blended in with his innocent, cute moments, so that it showed a struggle between his two sides-- until it was finally revealed that he's had thoughts of tracking the mc long before gyu even suggested it; after showing that and letting him indulge in those dark desires, i allowed myself to write about yeonjun's descent into the side he was desperately trying to get away from; that toxic, possessive side that allowed gyu to hack into her computer for him to watch.

and ofc, once he descended into that side, there was no going back. i still kept that lovey persona yeonjun had in the beginning, but i also emphasized his possessiveness until ultimately, it became unhealthy and yeonjun became mentally unstable.

nowwwww, onto beomgyu! the thing about him was that he was an entire stranger to the mc, so first impressions were crucial. he's a very strong and complicated character that had his motives exposed almost right away. going back to my note* back at the top, i used the contrast between his actions and thoughts to really sell the whole "manipulation" thing-- because that's what manipulation is, essentially: controlling and misleading someone by acting and saying whatever is necessary.

so! we have his motives-- to get closer with the mc-- and his methods-- stalking, cameras, etc.-- so now we just blend this in with one final thing: how will he be perceived? how is he actually?

on the outside, he's a quiet, charming, nonchalant person, and the mc's shyness and attraction to him helps aid that idea-- but that's how he's perceived to the mc at least! the way he acts around yeonjun is the same, but with that added layer of him constantly pressuring and threatening him. (but subtly, which gives him the benefit of the doubt) by adding scenes where he plants ideas into yeonjun's mind and making it seem like it was the other's idea (like the tracker on the mc's phone, or him hacking into her computer for yj) or moments where he's acting all coy and charming with the mc (teasing her for calling him "gyu", the scene at the garden or wtv), it helps to really convince the audience that hey, this bitch has layers! and is kinda crazy...

but again, there's how he's perceived and what he's really like-- and that's a manipulative psychopath. so once he reached his motive, aka killed soobin and successfully took the mc to the cabin, i let his true colors show, but still kept that charming and intimidating personality around, just to keep it consistent. like, he's super doting and helps the mc recover, but in the end takes advantage of her vulnerability to establish a closer relationship-- he was the most eager to get to her no matter what, so he was the first to make an advance toward her (kissing her immediately after they arrived at the cabin)

in summary, here's what's really important to think of when wanting to characterize a character properly:

-how should this person be perceived? how are they actually?

-how do they interact with other characters? do they have different sides they show? how do they talk and act around certain people?

-what are their motives? what will they do to accomplish them?

remember that "filler" scenes are your best friend when wanting to really flesh out a character; it allows you to show the audience what they're like in even the most mundane situations, lets them see growth happen naturally and in a well paced manner, and makes them seem more real (ex. again, the rain scene with yj and mc!)

pleaaaaase let me know if you have any more questions!!!! i'd love to answer them, and ofc lmk if you need me to clear something up! i wish you sooo much luck with your story! (or any future ones) this genre seriously isnt for the weak.

[thebigqueer]

omg new year new fun tag game. ty for the tag!! this looks fun

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

49 currently but i have deleted or orphaned some so it could be more than that

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

187454

3. what fandoms do you write for?

only riordanverse. i’ve considered writing for adventure time but i just don’t have enough passion for it

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Soft Touches in the Darkness (valgrace one shot)

moonlight (valgrace one shot)

Promise? (solangelo one shot)

Lost Voices (solangelo tartarus fic)

Secrets Uncovered in the Firelight (solangelo one shot)

5. do you respond to comments?

no cuz i’m shy 😭 but i do sometimes if someone’s comment is particularly exciting or i like a take. i do always always appreciate the comments though they make me happy <333

6. fic with angstiest ending?

hmm… i would say Bottle the World (arcane au valgrace snippet) or Flaming Eyes (leo & jason)

7. fic with happiest ending?

probably New Year, Old Beginnings (valgrace secret santa au).

8. do you get hate on fics?

no not really. & i’m thankful for that!!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

not publicly i don’t 🤭 but if you were to look through my docs there’s probably like one sexy piece with my ocs. idk if it counts as smut cuz they don’t actually do anything... it’s just toxic lesbian horny rage nothing really happens lol

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

i don’t really but i do have an arcane au. it’s not really a crossover i just kind of made up a plot for pjo characters based on the end of arcane lol. (arcane au snippets) WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED someone once asked me to do a (crackfic) she-ra & pjo crossover but i can't find the link unfortunately...

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

nah

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes but weve only posted 2 before. all the other co-written fics never got finished unfortunately

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

honestly i don't have one i think it really depends on my mood and what im reading at the moment.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ARCANE AU 😭 MY POOR ARCANE AU IM SORRY 😭 it's not that i wont write it its just that its never going to be coming out in full its all gonna be in one shots because i have 0 energy. also i had this one "immortal" au i tried writing a while ago and i still like the concept just not the characters i used at the time but i dont think ill write it again

16. what are your writing strengths?

i write a lot (as in my word counts are high per fic) but i dont really consider it a strength because i don't think length equates to the quality of a fic. a fic is good even if its short or long, and i like short fics more beacuse i feel like im feeling just as much in a shorter amount of time but other people might prefer long fics. its about what you write about and how you do it, not about length. ive also been told im pretty good at integrating introspection with dialogue but idk.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

also plot. it's like the fics that have a really dense and thought-out plot are the ones i never get to finish cuz i get too intimmidated after i finish planning them. i'll always plan them out in bullet points and then even when im almost done planning them out i just give up at the last minute and then never get them done lol. maybe one day i'll finally write something. i think if the plot isn't too dense then it's better off

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i think it's cool. i don't think i've done it yet but maybe i will one day.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

percy jackson. it was a solangelo fic in first person on wattpad 💀 WAITT SCRATCH THAT. when i was in 2nd grade me & bff at the time LOVED the rainbow magic books so i think we wrote something that was similar in plot to that. that was a banger series

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

i really liked "Stay. For Once." (lost trio fic) because it was my first time writing something for the lost trio and even though looking back i might change some things i think i really loved writing about them & thinking about their dynamic. i also really liked "Stars Bursting Across His Lips" (valgrace one-shot) not because i actually like the fic itself that much but it was really fun to write cuz i think driving on a highway at night is the sexiest most erotic most romantic thing anyone can do. i dont think i have a true favorite though.

tagging: @crushing-on-nico-di-angelo @perachel-heretic and anyone else who wants to do it. no pressure though

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @mrv3000

1. how many works do you have on Ao3? 195

2. what's your total Ao3 word count? 403 068

3. what fandoms do you write for? percy jackson and the olympians, heroes of olympus, trials of apollo, kane chronicles, magnus chase and the gods of asgard, nevermoor, her royal highness, roots of chaos, x-men (films mostly but some comic bleedover), avatar the last airbender, the legend of korra, the kyoshi novels, marvel cinematic universe, bbc ghosts, a song of ice and fire, doctor who, the locked tomb, star wars (prequels mostly), spiderman comics, rosewood chronicles, derry girls, dc (vaguely, comics)

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

rot with all the burnouts in the cell (dc marvel crossover)

oh my brother, my brother, my brother (who have you become in the wake of all that's happened?) (star wars timetravel)

breezeblocks bricking up my heart (my take on a dadneto reveal)

water into wine (five times percy was the son of dionysus and one time he was the son of poseidon)

5. do you respond to comments? i do my best

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

that's relative and i have so many fics that this probably isn't accurate but by my own measure it's probably don't want to fight the tide (nevermoor fic, being immortal sucks)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again that's relative but i'd say there's a million roads to rediscover (pjo/hoo five times jason missed his sister, and one time he saw her again)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

occasionally i get like smarmy comments like one on a certain fic that the timeline didn't line up (it did + i had page references + it was tagged canon divergence anyway) but not really

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have one so ig lesbian threesomes??

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i write so many crossovers i love putting characters in situations. probably rot with all the burnouts in the cell since it involved a ton of drama

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think one of them but i can't remember which one. (technically this is studying) i'm trying to translate a few of my drabbles into scots gaelic

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

in part like it got started and then i got ghosted before anything else happened

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

the couple i've written the most about is a tie between morridence, fierrochase, and jadie, but i'd say i get the most feelings about ruegard

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Great the Roman is coming up to its third year anniversary this month and i only hit the halfway point a few months ago so we'll see

16. What are your writing strengths?

lesbians. probably emotional stuff if i'm being serious

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plot. its part of the reason i only do oneshots about 1k-3k but i'd like to work on more big fics. part of the reason was i started a bunch back in 2021 and i'm still working on two of them

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

one of my fics has some dialogue in scots gaelic but i cannot remember for the life of me if its supposed to be 'S ann or 'S e form and its haunting me

19. First fandom you wrote for?

fun fact: i originally wrote on wattpad and published a fierrochase fic on the release day of the hammer of thor. it's called fierrochase and it Sucks but it might actually be the first one ever which is fun if not slightly haunting

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

well you don't know me. but i know you it's a asoiaf time travel fic from the pov of people who don't know. i feel like i really pushed myself with characterisation on it

tagging people who i think write fic @tragedykery @lesmiserablol @oh-hush-its-perfect @thebigqueer @aphrodititi @ethannku @speedytherandom

[humaudrey]

This is Us

OMG, I wrote this YEARS ago and I can't help but laugh at it now lol. I don't even write poetry but I was getting out of a really toxic friendship with a girl I used to know and I really wanted to channel through the pain and grief of it all.

Anyway, sharing this now to clear my drafts and I really like how it turned out.

This is the beginning

This was when we met

This is where our "friendship" starts

This is how it's set

This is me and you

Clicking, giggling, talking

This was when we got along

No tears, no doubts, no crying

This is where my wall drops

With secrets no one know

This is you reciprocitating

With secrets of your own

This is understanding

Because not many ever could

But if I knew what I know now

I don't think I ever would

This is where I realize

Something is amiss

All your truths aren't adding up

But ignorance was bliss

This is where I doubt us

Most truths weren't truths at all

And I finally see your real you

You're making me feel small

This is also where I realize

You had nothing nice to say

You always found the worst in me

Every single fucking day

This is where I start to push

Don't bother looking back

But suddenly your world went crash

And left an empty crack

This is where I'm innocent

But now I feel like shit

Because now you have nowhere to go

Should I try to help you fix it?

This is us repairing

And honestly, I missed you

And I can tell you missed me too

Because you're back at reprimanding

Your real you never left

And never took a blow

You're still playing the same old games

The games I used to know

This is me fed up

This game's become too tiring

All my patience has been lost

Quit your "moping" and your "whining"

Because you never really cared

Everything was fake

The only reason you stuck around

Was to use and take

So finally I leave

And suddenly, you're surprised

You said, "I'll miss you, dearest friend"

But once again, you lied

This is two weeks later

I'm immune to all your charm

So you stop trying, became a mute

With that new girl on your arm

But she's not new at all

You and I are both aware

No, she's the one that let you crash

The one I told you to beware

She stood you up, and led you on

And yet you still had feelings

She treated you like dirt

But I'm the one that took the beatings

This is you two happy

You're finally together

Although you and I aren't even friends

I only wish for better

I wish she doesn't hurt you

Or ever make you cry again

I really wish she doesn't do

What you've done to an old friend

But then again, "friend"

Is too strong of a word

You had all the benefits

How was I so absurd?

So now we're at the end

And you're still playing victim

It's my fault our friendship died

That's what you claimed, verbatim

But we were never friends

So our "friendship" never died

So why am I still mourning

Moping, hurt, and teary eyed?

[alesreadings]

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë.

4.5 stars.

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

Cath... by Death Cab of Cutie (one of my fave bands in the world) was inspired by Wuthering Heights and I think it's beautiful in so many ways. If you haven't read the book and don't want to spoil yourself, read no further; my review contains some minor and major spoilers. Wuthering Heights portrays the tragedy of a couple who didn't get their happy ending, who were abruptly separated and how hatred, passion, love, revenge and toxicity made life hell for many, including the couple themselves. I read this novel about seven or eight years ago, but never counted it as reading because I didn't remember anything about it until today. I think that when I read it for the first time, I did not understand exactly the meaning of many things that this time I analyzed more deeply. Despite this novel being a homework assignment, I must admit that I quite enjoyed reading it and I am grateful that my sister had the physical copy even though she never read it in her youth because reading seemed, and I think still does, boring to her and she showed disinterest in it. Anyway, let's move to the review. Mr. Lockwood arrives at Wuthering Heights and when his landlord shows him in, he finds the atmosphere very gruff and unfriendly, although he can't explain why everyone acts as if they hate their own and everyone else's existence. At first, even I wondered, and it seemed to me that everyone was bitter in character and sullen. Later, Lockwood discovers that there is a ghost there and it is someone Heathcliff is looking for, longing for and missing. When Lockwood moves on to Thrush Farm, and asks Mrs. Dean to tell him who Cath is and the story of Wuthering Heights. In the end, Mrs. Dean tells the whole story up to the present. I found the writing beautiful. It shows a gloomy atmosphere, full of darkness and tragedy. I read it in two languages: English and Spanish, since as y'all know, my native language is Spanish and some English words are still difficult for me, so I decided to read it in both languages. The writing is quite dramatic and tragic at the same time. The characters are complex and at the same time, one can come to dislike them. I believe that Emily's initial purpose was to show us sullen characters, to make us feel apathy and curiosity for them, to the point of immersing us in the story as Nelly narrates the events from the beginning. I must admit that at first, I felt sorry for Heathcliff and that I thought he deserved more, that despite not being able to express his feelings for Catherine, he actually loved her. However, things changed as time went on and Heathcliff "matured" and grew up. He became a vindictive, aggressive, violent and nasty man. What started out as a romance and passion, ended up becoming an obsession and disgrace, which would lead to more tragedy and drama. Catherine annoyed me all the time: she was haughty, arrogant, dramatic and indecisive. From the beginning she came across as manipulative and it also seemed to me that she suffered from some bipolar disorder or some mental illness, but I didn't specify which, if any. She didn't want to marry Heathcliff because it would embarrass her, but she didn't want to leave him alone; I didn't understand her logic exactly. Hareton didn't deserve everything he had in his life, but he couldn't do anything about it, as his father was a drunkard and an inveterate gambler, and he was taken from the arms of Nelly, who could have given him a better education, manners and life. Cathi was someone very sweet at the beginning, tantrum like her mother too, but more cheerful and dynamic. Her marrying Linton was something that made me rage, as Linton was using her and she didn't want to see him, but cared for him as if she owed him something. But she realized that and ended up hating him. I'm glad at least she fell in love with Hareton. I ship them, but they are cousins and omg Sweet Home Alabama. I don't know if I should call Heathcliff and Catherine's relationship a "romance," because it was tremendously toxic. From start to finish, or at least, from the time they

were teenagers until they died. THIS novel is the mold for novels with toxic and tragic romances. Catherine's "love" and emotional manipulation drove Heathcliff to madness and perpetual torment. Edgar was just another victim of Cath's angry outbursts, making him an unhappy wretch. I doubt very much that Heathcliff and Catherine actually loved each other, or perhaps they did in the beginning, but what started out as a romance, ended up becoming a toxic relationship that haunted the next generation of children thereafter. It was actually pretty good, and I was here for the gossip, lol.

[sotorubio]

God yes!!!

You know what the most fucked up part was about skam season 2? I was around 17 or so when I watched it. No relationship yet. And thought it's admirable that someone is so hot for you that they can't stop. And like. Fuck no. That's terrible. Your no should always count. And then even in the context of the SA noora experienced. Imagine how groundbreaking that scene would have been if they would have gotten it on and noora would have realized she is not ready yet and would have stopped William and they would have talked about it and he would have been understanding and patient and would have said we have all the time in the world?? Like fucking consent.

Also talking about the sex toys, like yes if they would have talked before about them it would have been maybe even like this icebreaker. But like this? Her knowing his insecurities right now coming to sex?? And then just getting over there like completely with the intention probably of getting it on? I think that's kinda disrespectful.

Do you think tiff and max would stay together a long time?

(also was he in a relationship with Maya before? Did they make love?)

(and thank you for talking with me about this lol it keeps me sane!)

OMG RIGHT??? so sorry it affected u that way that's so terrible... that's exactly why i dislike the whole concept of noorhelm so much like there r more "irrelevant" things that i just personally don't like abt it but the worst part is how they romanticized rly vile shit for a very impressionable young audience a lot of which rly saw themselves in noora.. n that's in no way the viewers' fault like the writing straight up promoted toxic behavior as a romantic thing 😐

ur idea of it would be SO much better!!! i wish we got more stuff like that from skam & its remakes... like when smth that has been set up as an epic moment like a love declaration or first time or smth goes "wrong" as in not according to plan but it wouldn't be considered a negative thing, instead it's a moment of growth for the characters. just showing that u never have to do anything u don't want to even if u figure out u aren't comfortable w it After u already agreed once! it's okay to change ur mind at any point n in a season w themes such as noora's that would be rly meaningful. like seriously in what world the canon scene wasnt triggering for noora like....??? how was that supposed to be romantic for a survivor (or anyone else to begin with) i-

yes icebreaker is a good way to describe it! if they had talked abt all of it before it would've been a cute moment like "haha i know this is silly but i wanted to apologize n we talked abt this before so 🤪" it would still be weird but.. in an intentional way? a self aware way? now it just feels weird in a bad way like tiff just went in w the assumption that they will not only make up their differences but also.. have sex?? even tho that was off the table even while they were on good terms.

realistically i think that max & tiff wouldn't rly work out for multiple reasons but since skamfr has glossed over those reasons... maybe they will then lmao 😭 like they have very bad communication atm (proven by this sex debacle where they never discussed max's feelings more + the fact that they have very weird expectations of max's role & their life w moïra) n tiff just existing around max's supposed best friends w her immense privilege that she doesn't even realize she has is not a good dynamic in real life. so i wouldn't see it working out. BUT LMAO france has decided that "in canon" not communicating actually didn't have bad consequences for them n they simply don't need to do that, they can just magically be on the same page + tiff is somehow besties w all of la mif including lola for no realistic fucking reason so that's not an obstacle to them anyway! 🤪 so, apparently a healthy relationship in the skamfr universe requires none of the things real life relationships do so they can be everlasting w/o ever putting in effort 💆‍♀️

and yes max n maya were dating before he came out! idk whether or not they had sex tho i don't think that was ever specified 🤔 i guess that since max wanted to take things slow bc tiff is "the first girl he's been w after transitioning" that kind implies that he's been w girls before that. don't know if that specifically would mean maya but still it seems to imply he has had sex before tiff, otherwise the sudden jump to their first time would be even weirder like imagine if he had never done that before n tiff just showed up w toys... at least skamfr hasn't lost their minds THAT much

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Ok so first of all, idk what those anons are saying, but I think you're not just a fantastic writer, but you're also an incredible person in general! I'm so glad you're able to look past those cruel words and know your worth. By refusing to respond, you have taken away all of their power and I commend you for it.

Now that I've got that off my chest, I can get back to our convo. 😊

I'm just saying, it was like, 3 weeks instead of a month. You gotta give me credit for that. 😄 But yeah, life's a little crazy for us all sometimes and it just happened to be my turn.

120 Euros is insane! And some of them are more!? Here I just have to sign up on a website and pick a time. I had to drive an hour to get one the day of once, but it was worth it. I can only imagine how tough that would be. I would be so nervous if I got sick. I actually haven't caught a cold this year which I'm not sure how that's possible because I'm usually sick a lot and I'm super thankful.

Wait... You're telling me I actually have to take the advice I give? 😅 Lol, so I've started writing my response about 4 times now (I'm easily distracted) but it's been kind of nice because I drink water every time just to be able to say I did.

I haven't heard of that author before! I'll have to put them on my never ending reading list.

Omg, I am absolutely dying at how into this search you are. Don't think I didn't see your bio. 😂 I love how Tumblr is in on it too. Why yes Gina. Tis me, your subconscious. 🤣🤣🤣

Except for I actually am giving you clues, they're just super subtle and you've gotta read between the lines. If you look closely, I've actually answered both of those questions. 😉 (If you still can't figure it out I'll answer them but I wanna see if you can tell by looking at my previous messages)

Also, I think it's only fair that if we're talking about me, I wanna learn more about you too! What's your favorite movie?

Omg you got me! I'm definitely E.T. How'd you guess!? -⭐

P.S. One of these days I'm gonna trip up and forget to flip the anon switch so you'll certainly figure it out one way or another. 😉

My little star is back 💖!!

Awww, the amount of love I have for you is overwhelming and I don’t even know who you are. 🥺 Don’t you worry, I don’t let people bring me down, I’m way too proud for that. 😂 And I completely get that people’s life turn chaotic so I’m just glad you are back. 💖

Pounds, not euros, but yes, it’s not cheap. 😁 Healthcare in the UK is free, but the prescriptions and this particular test aren’t. It’s not that bad if you think about the fact that you don’t have to pay for further treatment because it’s free. What do you mean you are usually sick a lot? You mean catching a cold and stuff, not more serious kind, right?

Wait... You're telling me I actually have to take the advice I give?

That loud snort I let out when I read that. 😂 No, you don’t have to take them, they are just hanging in the air for the fun of it. 😂 I’m glad you are drinking enough in the end, my slippers are always ready to teach you a lesson. 😁

I really was hoping you would see my bio! I really am invested in this quest of finding out who you are and tumblr doesn’t seem to want to help! 🤣 I have a confession to make. I even have a post in my drafts which I planned to post if you haven’t showed up soon. Here is a screenshot of the title 😂

Also it’s 4am here and I’m reading through all of our conversations from the very beginning when you messaged me about Shadowhunters. You are a bad influence, but let’s get started, because no, I don’t want to talk about me, I am ready to find out who you are! 😂

It will be long, so click on that keep reading button if it shows up. Sometimes it doesn’t 😂

What I know about you so far; Shadowhunters edition

You like Clary because she has flaws.

In your opinion Simon is the best character.

Book!Alec is your least favourite character.

You think Jonathan and Valentine were ok villains, but not the best.

You are a sucker for Jace.

Izzy is also one of your other favourites and you hate the Yin fen plot mostly because it led to Rizzy and a toxic relationship.

You also love Max and we agreed that COG is taboo and we preferred the series version.

What I know about you so far; Personal edition

You are adorable

You are mysterious

You are sweet - and now let’s get started 💖😂

6 days ago you wrote; the new semester has started

You are hoping you'll be able to read and interact a little more

You love my nickname for you 🙈💖

You only kind of take care of yourself; Let me get my slipper! 😅

You are on a campus where people make food for you when you actually get your backside out of the room 😂

You are doing a research project on landing mechanics in a specific sport; This is where I thought I knew who you were. Then you destroyed it by saying; You are majoring in science and you like testing and analyzation 🙈 

You are considering a career in research one day which will be beneficial for your grad school application; This is where you got me confused. 😅 If you are to apply to grad school, that means you are doing your undergraduate degree now, which means you are supposed to be over 18 😂 But here we just call it University so I’m not 100% sure about what grad school is 😂Or are you in college which could be from the age of 16 and that’s before grad school too 😅

You have to get tested constantly at your school 

You have never seen Ben Barnes in anything and we haven’t talked about him until now

You got 2 assignments in one class 😂

You take long to decide what to read, as in physical books so you end up reading fanfic instead!

You feel like a spy as my anon 🤣

You are not an AI, but you are an Alien, ET to be exact 😅 and you are building a rocket ship to fly back to your planet

You keep sending me to drink water, but you don’t take your advice!!!

We talked a few times in different places; How is that a clue?! 😂

You get easily distracted 

You get sick a lot; I don’t like the sound of that!

You never heard of J.R. Ward

So in conclusion, 

Do I follow you? Haven’t found the answer to that, but since you said we have talked here and there, I assume I do.

Are you a minor or over 18+? If my assumptions about grad schools are correct then you are doing your undergrads now so yes, 18+.

Did I get any closer to who you are? No! 

Why? Because this “I’m majoring in science” threw me off completely 🙈 My one solid lead disappeared into thin air... bye bye Sherlock Holmes, welcome Dumb and Dumber 😅

Did I just spend 1 hour replying to this, searching for all the clues and now I’m going to bed at 5am just because I’m so determined in my quest? You bet, I did 🤣 

Also from the way you talk/write, I get US vibes. Probably I’m incorrect but oh well 😅

Now can you please give me a solid clue? I’m begging you! 🤣💖 Maybe the first letter of your first name or your exact age, maybe a birthday so I can completely ignore that one clue in my head? Doesn’t matter which one, but at least one, pretty please 😁

[youwontlikethisblog]

I think at this point of the novela Armando is aware of how he feels towards Betty. It no longer is a subconscious vs conscious matter but rather, now that he is fully aware of his feelings, the acceptance and what that acceptance means to him. While in the past he didn't know what moved him, what pushed him, and what caused him to fear losing Betty, be it for possession of her or endearment. Armando lived confused, afraid, and the little he did understand about his feelings he denied but the night before, when Betty tried to leave the apartment and Armando stopped her, a sober and a relieved Armando told Betty, twice, that he loved her, and it was this moment in Armando's character journey that was not moved by his subconscious and his drunken state to be able to stop said confession like in the past. The lone expression on his face is what allows us to know that he meant what he said and he found relief in saying it, happiness even.

A lot of things are happening to Armando's character as we speak. For one he's finally figured out what he feels by name instead of speculation and denying. The problem being is that Armando has never loved a woman. He's never been in love. He's been in lust with Marcela for years, with many women as well but never in love. So while he still somewhat lives under this denial of his feelings, he's also trying to be sure that he truly feels what he feels. What he does know, for a fact, and has known since the start of finding out that Betty had a boyfriend, is that what he feels for her is special and unlike anything he's felt for anyone before. As well, as he said from the start, that he never thought what he felt for Betty would continue to grow.

Basically we've got a character who doesn't know what love is, how to feel love, how to behave in love, how to love someone, just someone who feels it.

You're absolutely right. Armando had a lot to lose with Betty if he did tell her the truth—in his mind, lying was the go to because lying always took him out of tight and terrible situations with Marcela. However this dismissed the knowledge he had of Betty but I think, at the same time Armando wanted to take back everything as this silent vow to himself that he wouldn't do what Miguel did. I think in his mind he thought that he'd figure out a way to make it up to Betty, to be everything she deserved and more. He thought if he didn't tell her she'd never be disappointed in him, that she wouldn't end up hurt and if she never knew, than she'd never get hurt.

From the start he's always been against getting rid of Betty once she returns Eco Moda to them. Every time Mario has brought it up he gets mad.

He knew he was acting like a coward, like a piece of ish and he knew that what he was doing was wrong but we saw this change, and I don't refer to the toxic behavior and borderline abusive behavior, when Betty removed her adoration, affection, loyalty, and love from Armando, where he finally accepts that he's in love with her, and that he won't lose her, that he'll fight to be with her and that he'll cancel his wedding with Marcela. It isn't until Mario starts telling him he can't do that and how bad it would be, that Armando begins to get scared of the consequences of breaking up with Marcela, however he really wanted to be with Betty(That's a future post lol).

Haha omg I know it's over thinking >.<! But I've got an annoying and nagging writer's brain that loves details and I obsess over them! The thing is that it's not all about telling the audience the story. It's about showing it. Otherwise we'd have very boring and colorless entertainment. The details are in the putting, lol.

Thank you so much! I honestly thought no one would ever read these posts but I'm really shy in person and get so scared to talk about things that I'm obsessed with in person so writing these posts was me just letting it all out there and the fact that so many people read the post and like them means a lot to me 🥺❤ so if a few think I'm overthinking, they're not wrong lol.

Oh it would have been so nice to see that! I would have loved to see them interact outside of the office or those night clubs. You know, I think Armando did desire that though. Since he once told Mario that Betty wouldn't like those dark place that Mario was suggesting and that maybe a restaurant would be nice, he even told her that he'd like to take her to a nice restaurant.

I'm guessing that because they lived in the city and most place's that played live jazz or jazz clubs probably had all of Armando's acquaintances so it wouldn't had been a good idea. Also Armando never wanted to have the chance to run into his circle of people bc he was afraid of what they'd say about him and Betty.

As for the Marcela thing, you're right. Couples don't need to have the same interest but it displays Marcela's selfishness in the relationship. She's never seen willing to do anything Armando likes and when she tells him to go out and enjoy his night she sort of guilt trips him by saying stuff like: "We're going to get married and our nights will be like this. I want to stay in but if you want to enjoy your single life than go out, no problem with me." and stuff like that so Armando was always catering to her demands(taking away the affairs that is.) however with Betty is a 50/50 where they both would make compromises and with the intention of it making their partner happy.

In the end, it wasn't only the letter that shattered the illusion she had of him but his obsessive and toxic behavior(I'll get into that in a future post). Armando behaved terribly when Betty removed her love from him.

(P.s) I know! I do think it goes in hand with Armando though because we know he's an idiot. However he was more clouded with Nicolas Mora being a lot more present in Betty's life and that Betty was giving him all the time and attention instead of him so that alone, knowing his personal rivalry with Nicolas, is what blinds him so much. I feel like Mario leaving that letter had to be on purpose and knowing how detail oriented he is the fact he just says "yeah she didn't read it, I made sure." is just too suspicious.

Armando suspected that Nicolas had a mutual attraction to Betty but thought that what he really cared about was money so he thought he wasn't worthy of Betty. I hadn't thought about that either! Would he have been any different had he believed that Nicolas was truly in love with Betty?

Hmm I think he would have fought for her, not as neurotic, a bit more at peace so he could prove that his love for her was true and pure, and I think he would have worked on his possessiveness since he knew how that could drive a person away. However this rivalry with Nicolas and the fact he thought he was saving Betty from him is what made him so neurotic and terrible. He was paranoid. It's so weird that Armando's terrible behavior is similar to Marcela's, you know except Armando's is so aggressive while Marcela's is so "calm". However they still act the same way. I find it so weird that people don't notice that lol.

Betty and Armando's stare

I know! That stare….I always thought that either he wanted to tell her he loved her or maybe that she should come with him…but he leaves (NOOOOOOOOOO). But now that you mention it…he must have spent a lot of the night thinking of her and his relationship with her and his feelings for her. He may not yet admit to his conscious that he is in love but at the very least that she is special and that he cannot keep dong “this”. After hearing of her emotional tragedy he wanted to tell her…but couldn’t. Maybe he had a moment when he wanted to tell her that he needs to talk to her…. and he was considering how he was going to break this to her but also letting her know his feelings have evolved….what I would have given to see a different outcome! Or at least for the to have a little more time…