#i can't call anyone my friend who hasn't acted alongside me. i feel closer to people i do things with than ones i talk to
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man sometimes you gotta make your own gender euphoria by reminding yourself that you're undercover and actually trying to trick people into thinking you're cisgender
#i forget sometimes that people see me as a woman and not a genderless entity#why are people so obsessed with the ways in which men and women are different?#all they ever do is describe ways in which i'm not a woman and assume i can relate to that difference#like no actually i hate just talking. i'd rather have something to do side-by-side with someone#i can't call anyone my friend who hasn't acted alongside me. i feel closer to people i do things with than ones i talk to#and people say that's what men do and how men work. and then they look at me and call me a woman because of my body's shape and function#like. yeah. i get it. my body is a woman.#but how can you say i'm not a man if i work the way you say only men do?#i understand things about manhood that women don't and can't. i understand things about manhood that boys haven't learned yet#how can anyone say i'm not a man solely based on my body? it doesn't compute#it goes further than assuming one's gender. the man who taught me these things doesn't even see it#i don't want to be equated with other women. i don't want to have to deadname myself#but i'm undercover. and a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
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