#i can't believe she fucking buttered jorts

[icarus-suraki]

I just need it known that when I read the phrase "I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts," I hear it in the rhythm of "Ohl I want is 'Enry 'Iggin's 'ead" from My Fair Lady.

[mead-iocre]

yall have heard of (and love!) leah's spoilt!reader

now let me introduce you to alexia's brat!reader:

alexia's controversially young gf

this girl carries a bag with hundreds of random keychains and trinkets and ribbons and strings dangling from it

people hear the click clacking of her bag before they even see her

is a biter (affectionately). will bite alexia's arms (!!!), fingers for absolutely no reason. alexia could be minding her business and then all of a sudden someone is chomping on her left bicep

brings her old sony digital camera everywhere with her. her bag rule is that if a bag can't fit her camera, she's not buying it.

she takes the best pictures of other people. helping them pose, making sure the flash is on(!!!!). would lie on the dirty pavement if it meant she could get the best angle for other people's photos.

the same way she's very particular about the way other people take her pictures. you can bet she's instructing alexia like a military general about how she wants her photos taken. "okay angle it upwards slightly so my legs look long, but make sure you can't see the bin next to me. and make sure you're taking multiple shots. like quickly"

curates her ig feed to her personal vibe. like if you're going to perceive her, at least you're going to see the best pictures of her

always comes to alexia's games with the coolest fits-- sheer lace tops, washed denim jorts, mini leather skirts etc. she's known to be one of the best dressed wags

just like alexia, she loves her arm tattoos. she has a few on her arm

annoying alexia is her favorite past time. she'd do that thing where if alexia drops something and goes to pick it up, best believe this girl is air humping her from behind for shits and giggles. "¿Qué putas?" "nada. nothin nothin'" and then you're running away from her

she's grabbing your jaw to scold you. trying to get you to see that she's serious but you can see the corner of her lips twitching.

"you are so fucking weird d'you know that?" "blah blah. gimme a kiss "

"that was not very demure of you alexia. not very mindful, not very cutesy" "I don't know what any of those words mean. Is this another one of your English slang shit?"

!!!!! new reader alert !!!!

alexia needs a gf that is the complete opposite of her personality aka she needs a brat!gf.

cannot wait to write about her <3333

-- kisses, butter

*This work is my original creation. Please don’t copy, share, or translate it without asking for my permission first. Thanks for respecting that!

[blearybass]

[Image description: a Reddit reply from user owl royalty that says "I can't believe she fucking buttered jorts." it has 267 upvotes./end ID]

Please do yourself a favor and read the most incredible AITA ever posted

[frogshunnedshadows]

All I want is a Jorts some where,

far away from the but'ry air...

I just need it known that when I read the phrase "I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts," I hear it in the rhythm of "Ohl I want is 'Enry 'Iggin's 'ead" from My Fair Lady.