#i can’t take seriously people saying hl are happy right now

[leeminholinoing]

How to misread and misinterpret a post then write paragraphs to get your followers to not read that post but still hate on it: an encyclopaedia by Tumblr larries

[hazzabeeforlou]

11 questions

Yes I did this a bit ago but @helloamhere (thank you, ily, have fun bussing around Europe, did that once, had to follow apple maps to know where to get off ‘cause I speak ZERO German...) tagged me and I’m an anxious mess waiting for medical news today so WHY NOT! 

Rules: answer 11 questions then pose 11 of your own. 

1. What do you think fanfic does better than published fiction (if anything?) 

Okay obvious answer and not very high brow, but SMUT. You will not see me perusing the gay aisles of Barnes and Noble romance novels :) For various reasons :) 

2. What do you think it does worse

I think (maybe it’s just this fandom) overall it’s quite a bit more sanitary than novels, both in morality and subject matter. I hate to think what the purity police would say about some of the books I’ve read... especially the old ones? But then I usually come here looking for fluff and happiness too so perhaps that’s just the major draw of fanfic, idk. 

3. What’s something another fandom has or does that you wish your fandom had or did?

To be honest I’m not well versed in other fandoms, but I’m going to go with I wish this fandom didn’t have constant infighting. Seriously in all my born days I have never seen a group of people claim such a similar goal and yet devour each other so viciously. Hence I usually avoid anything incredibly explosive or triggering here; I deal with and confront radical people (religious extremists, right wing extremists) in my everyday life and I cannot bring myself to turn my escapism into that same vortex of endless arguing, though I appreciate and support those who fight the fight. I often have very sharp opinions and fall to one side or the other of the fault line, but I draw a personal boundary at a point. 

4. Do you consider yourself a “fandom” type of person in general, or committed to only one, and if so, tell me more about what this means to you.

I have been a HUGE fandom person my entire life, though this is the first time I’ve ever been in a community for it. Star Wars and Narnia consumed most of my adolescence, along with Lord of the Rings. I briefly dabbled in Dr. Who and Merlin (as one does) but because I didn't read HP until nearly the end of college, I kindof missed out on that one. Basically anything geeky or fantasy driven I have always loved, and I can’t really explain how I ended up here? But this is the only fandom I’m active in socially. The power of HL I guess... 

5. I’m trying to get through writing a first draft right now and it’s a slog. How do you stay motivated for long projects, writing or otherwise? 

Ah. A call out question! Like any good Aries, I love starting new things! And then letting them to languish unfinished. I have, however, trained in classical music, and thus I’ve programmed myself to just keep doing the thing because pieces take months and months and months to perfect and if you can’t stick with a project, you go nowhere. I also operate on a reward system, as in writing is the reward for practicing, then when I’m sick of words I go back to music, and so the turn tables. I have learned to ignore (I’m great at ostrich-ing) the crushing self doubt of creativity and just bulldoze ahead and do the thing, which results in very messy first drafts and often bad habits in my musical technique and a tendency to overplay, which wastes energy, but rehearsals wait for no one. I also thrive on last minute deadlines! 

6. Tell me about what you read as a kid. Favorite book? Or if you weren’t into reading then, favorite TV show, etc? 

I HAVE SO MANY. Narnia was my first love. I also adored George MacDonald (At The Back of the North Wind is a fucking masterpiece). My mom hardly let me read Redwall (see: hints of magic) but when she caved I devoured all of those. Anne of Green Gables. American Girl stuff (lots of it, yes Josefina and Kaya were my faves). I read far too many Star Wars expanded universe novels (New Jedi Order  shaped me as a person, esp Traitor). I remember reading all the Eragon series, though these were dubiously approved... and I read various classics, as one is supposed to. In high school I printed out the entire Beowulf in Old English, got a CD of a dude reading it, and proceeded to memorize the first several lines. I can still recite Anglo Saxon but I have no clue what it means (see: I’m a good mimic). Everything non-Christian-magic-related I read during or after college, sigh. 

7. Have your tastes changed?

This sounds bad but not really. I rarely read non fiction, oops. Biographies are a slog for me. I dislike historical fiction and I don’t have a good reason for that. I do love a good mystery, but usually not in book form (audio or visual Agatha Christie is my mana). I do adore socio-policial books, though (The Better Angels of our Nature a good example) or books doing a deep dive into a historical topic. These days I enjoy a good satire more than much else, and since I started on Terry Pratchett in 2016 I haven’t looked back. 

8. I’ll steal your question above--tell me about a fic that changed you, or became a “touchstone” fic that you go back to!!

I didn’t read fics period when I entered the fandom, and stubbornly maintained that for a while, but the fic that changed my mind was (Take Me Home) Country Roads by @a-writerwrites (Awriterwrites). I read it during a drive through the very parts of the USA it’s set in, and I couldn’t put it down, spotty internet be damned. From there @horsegirlharry birthed me into the gay 1D world, though I can’t for the life of me remember which of hers I first read! (Does it matter? They’re all so beautiful...) 

9. Tell me about a WIP, if applicable. How’s it going?? It sounds great. 

I’m plodding along on The Garden, it’s going well, but urgency isn’t a priority. It’s going to be one of those things that I finish and then go in and make matter because right now my ideas are half formed and I know I’ll eventually know where I’m going but it’s a case of blind trust in instinct at this point! 

10. What’s your favorite place to read and sitting position?

Like a true gay I cannot sit normally in a chair, coupled with my pain issues means I’m usually draped over the back of something with a cushy lumbar support, massive pillow, or propped sideways lying down. I love reading outside, but have a tendency to attract bugs, also I’m very light sensitive so my eyes hate the sun, especially if I’m reading from a screen. 

11. Do you feel like fic reading and writing is social for you? E.g. do you share with friends (in or outside of fandom), or are you a lone wolf seeking out your fics in the dead of night??

I LOVE the social aspect of fic reading and writing within fandom! I have shared PITS with only two real life friends though; I am very tight lipped about the fact that I write fic. People are cruel and musicians are judgmental arseholes and if I prefer to spend my days dreaming up love stories for my OTP instead of pouring over scores, that’s my fucking business. 

Alright, 11 from me (I wanted to include artists too so!!): 

1. Are you a start small-work larger type creator, or map everything out then attend to detail?

2. What style of art/writing has most influenced your creative choices? (Genre, time period, muse)

3. How long have you been writing/arting? Is this something you knew you’d do your whole life?

4. What is your favorite thing about creating for your fandom? (reception, excitement, newness, etc.) 

5. Have you met any recent creative goals that you’re really proud of? 

6. What is your creative baby; what work do you want stamped on your proverbial gravestone as I MADE THIS (or have you made it yet?)

7. Do outside forces (politics, culture, hegemonies) play into your creations? Do you intentionally or subconsciously subvert norms or explore ideas?

8. Your creative mind is a garden. Describe what kind it would be and what it would contain (i.e. rock garden, palace garden, wildflowers, rose... etc.) 

9. Do you believe that creative art has power and if so, how do you hope yours impacts others? 

10. I’m double stealing this question: what’s a fic or fan art that changed your life or was a touchstone for you?

11. If you could pick any hero of yours to read/look at your creations, who would it be and why?

TOTALLY only if you want to, but @13ways-of-looking @twopoppies @alienfuckeronmain @prettytruthsandlies @pattern-pals @newleafover @disgruntledkittenface @lesbianiconharrystyles @lululawrence

[elleberquist6]

Believe in Me - chapter thirty-eight

Summary: Dan Howell is living at home while he’s saving money for college, which isn’t easy since his parents don’t understand him. Unlike them, he loves dogs, is a vegetarian, has no interest in the family business, and he despises the supernatural. He struggles to accept things that are illogical, even though he is a kitsune. Kitsune are foxes whose powers involve the ability to cast illusions, but Dan just wants to be normal. Phil Lester has just moved to London, where he works as a dog walker. When his path crosses with Dan, Phil is eager to get to know him. Unfortunately, Phil soon finds that being friends with Dan is far more complicated than he could have imagined.

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3078 Warnings: Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

—

Kitsune fact: Kitsune spirits enjoy playing tricks on people nearly as much as the Tengu… Kitsune are more playful in nature and are almost always portrayed as helpful allies to humans (as long as they are treated with respect). The kitsune are strong, stubborn, wise, and clever beings… In fact, myths warn that you should be kind to foxes if they are not doing any harm, because you might accidentally end up offending a kitsune, and that is something you really don’t want to do. [https://books.google.com/books?id=f-RsCs5dJRwC&printsec=frontcover&dq=The+Complete+Idiot%27s+Guide+to+World+Mythology&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiYrb7SnPrbAhULzlkKHQlRDHcQ6AEIKTAA#v=onepage&q=The%20Complete%20Idiot's%20Guide%20to%20World%20Mythology&f=false]

When he woke up, Dan kept his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He took a deep breath as he looked inward, unsure what he would see when he did. His grandmother had given him this advice though, and she was the smartest person he knew so he was going to do it.

Before he bought his train ticket to come see Phil, Dan had asked Grandma for her opinion on the situation. First, he told her everything that had happened in the kitchen with the nogitsune. Then he told her that he knew Phil was crying for him. He’d said, I want to go to him, but I’m scared. What if I hurt him again?

You won’t, Grandma assured him simply.

How do you know? he had asked her.

Grandma just laughed. I told you already. So long ago when you and Phil first started dating. Love is a more powerful form of magic than anything we kitsune can perform. If you can stay focused on your love, you will stay strong and the nogitsune will not overpower you.

At the time of hearing this, Dan was a bit skeptical, but he knew that Phil needed him. So, he had thanked his grandmother and bought a train ticket. Now that he was in bed beside Phil, he became nervous once more. What if the nogitsune was waiting in the shadows of his mind, ready to take over and attack Phil?

Dan kept his eyes closed as he thought to himself, I’m Dan. I know the difference between right and wrong. I love Phil. I would never hurt Phil. I love Phil more than anything. I was born to love Phil. This was all true. He knew it down to the very cells of his being. And for the moment, the violent fox spirit inside him was dormant. He was himself and only himself.

Dan opened his eyes, seeing Phil sleeping in bed beside him. The chain of the watch was visible near the collar of his shirt, and all Dan felt was gratitude for the fact that Phil was helping him. If everything went well tomorrow afternoon, there was a chance that Dan could become human.

Not wanting to disturb Phil, Dan carefully got out of the bed. He slipped into the pajama bottoms that Phil lent him last night before walking to the bathroom. When he came back out a few moments later, Dan was startled to see that there was someone waiting for him.

His cheeks flushed as he made eye contact with Phil’s mum – he knew that he would be seeing her today, but he hadn’t had a chance to mentally prepare himself to meet her accusing glare. “Hi, Kath. I mean… Good morning, Mrs. Lester.”

She frowned, but at least the intensity of her glare lessened. “I saw your coat and shoes in the kitchen. You came in last night?”

Dan nodded. He swallowed heavily and stayed quiet because the tension of this moment was choking him – he could tell that she absolutely hated him now. Not that he could blame her, after seeing the bruise on Phil’s cheek.

She narrowed her eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Um…” Dan hesitated because he hadn’t talked about this with Phil yet. Phil’s family didn’t know what Dan was, so there was no way to explain the fact that he had shown up because he felt Phil crying. So, he simply said, “I’m here for Phil.”

“I don’t like you,” Kath said in a cold voice.

Dan winced. “I know. I don’t like myself much either at the moment.”

“Is that supposed to be funny?”

Dan shook his head fervently in response.

Kath sighed and rubbed her eyes. “I can’t pretend that I’m happy to see you. You hit my son. But I suppose that you’re here to make up for that?”

Dan nodded, though he honestly didn’t know how to go about making this up to Phil. At least Phil had been happy to see him show up, so maybe that had been a start?

“You’re going to try to earn his forgiveness?” Kath asked as she carefully watched Dan’s face. Her scowl hardened, and Dan didn’t like it – Kath had a bubbly personality and a face that was made for smiling, so he hated the fact that he brought out this side of her. “He already has forgiven you, hasn’t he? I shouldn’t be surprised. My son forgives easily. But you’re going to find that the rest of this family is a bit harder to win over.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. At the look she gave him, Dan explained, “It doesn’t matter who forgives me because I will never forgive myself for putting my hands on Phil, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to him, and no matter what I do it will never be enough. Still, I’m going to try.”

There was a long moment of silence as Kath just stared at him. Then she nodded and her lips quirked up a bit – was that almost a smile? “Okay. I guess you’re going to be around for a while then. Good. He’s happy when you’re here. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

Stunned, Dan stood in the hallway and watched as she walked away. Maybe Phil’s family wouldn’t always hate him after all.

It seemed like Kath or Phil said something to the rest of the family because Martyn and his father barely blinked an eye when Dan joined them for a late breakfast. It was the weekend and the Lesters had planned on spending the whole day together, so after pancakes they moved to the living room for a game of Monopoly.

They sat on the sofa while Martyn knelt beside the coffee table to unbox the game, while Phil’s parents stayed in the kitchen to make a pitcher of iced tea. Phil picked up one of the game pieces and offered it to Dan in an open palm. With a smirk, Phil teased, “Are you sure you want to join us? See, you don’t really know what you’re getting yourself into.”

Dan couldn’t help seeing parallels in this moment to their situation with the hoshi no tama – 99 days ago, he had held out a silver watch containing his soul to Phil, and neither of them had known what they were signing up for. As he looked at Phil’s palm though, the only thing resting there was an adorable token shaped like a Scottie dog, and Dan smiled. He asked, “Oh really? So, tell me. What am I signing up for?”

Phil’s grin broadened. “We take this game very seriously, and when we start playing we’re all making a commitment. No one leaves, no one abandons the game – we keep going until the end, regardless of the time or effort it takes. Because it’s worth it. So, Dan, are you ready for this commitment?”

Dan took the Scottie dog token from Phil’s palm. “I’m ready,” he said, his voice entirely free of sarcasm.  

Phil hadn’t been exaggerating. It took most of the day to complete the game. Playing with Phil’s family was much different than playing with his own, since the Howells were all very competitive and usually ended a game angry with each other. Phil’s family was just fun though, as they cheered each other on when they bought properties and happily handed over rent money. When Dan went bankrupt, he didn’t even care. He just leaned back against the sofa and started rooting for Phil to win, making encouraging sounds whenever Phil bought a new house for his properties.

Kath had also gone bankrupt, so she got up to order a pizza for dinner, which arrived when the game was down to just Phil and Martyn. In the end, Martyn won, and though Phil vowed to beat him when they had a rematch sometime, he was grinning broadly as he said it.

The family settled down after that, putting a movie on the tv as they finished eating the pizza. Phil was oblivious to the glances his family was casting him as he snuggled close to Dan, and soon Dan was able to ignore the looks too. He remembered how awkward he had been around Phil’s family the last time he was here, letting their interest impact the way he behaved around Phil. He didn’t want to do that anymore – he just wanted to be himself with Phil. So, he snuggled against him, enjoying the feeling of the warm familiar body beside him as they finished watching the movie.

When it was over, Phil stood with a stretch. He asked, “Ready for bed?”

“Mmm hmm,” Dan sighed as he fought to hold in a yawn.

Martyn also stood up. “Hey, did I hear you guys are catching the train back to London tomorrow night?”

When they both nodded in response, Martyn stepped closer to give Phil a hug. Phil hugged him back, but he laughed when they pulled apart. “What was that for?”

Martyn shrugged. “I won’t be around tomorrow, so this is bye for now. Take care of yourself.” Then Martyn looked at Dan with a grin, and he patted Dan on the shoulder. “You’ll take care of him for me, won’t you?”

“Hey!” Phil protested with mock indignation before laughing. “I can take care of myself.

Martyn wasn’t waiting for an answer, but Dan still had to say, “I will.” He felt like he had been trusted with something precious, and he was being trusted despite the fact that he had done nothing to deserve it. Still, he wasn’t going to betray Martyn’s trust. From now on, he was going to keep Phil safe.

Once they were in Phil’s room, they closed the door and settled in his bed. The bedside lamp was still on and Dan saw a worried crease appear between Phil’s eyebrows. He poked a finger at the ivory skin until it smoothed under his fingertip as Phil stared at him in surprise. Dan smiled reassuringly as he asked, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Phil shrugged. “It’s just… the game today went on a lot longer than I had expected. If we were alone, I would have asked you… I would have given you an excuse to quit if you wanted… Dan, was today boring for you?”

Dan gave a surprised laugh. “Phil, no. Not at all. I loved it.”

“Oh?” Phil took a deep breath as he relaxed. “Okay. I’m glad. Maybe we could do it again sometime. If you wanted to.”

Dan nodded, but he looked away nervously as he said, “Phil, you’re worried that doing things like this are going to be boring… normal things like playing board games, but that’s going to be our life after tomorrow. I don’t find this stuff boring, but will you? When there’s nothing supernatural about me anymore and we just have to entertain ourselves with things like games?”

“Oh, Dan, no.” Phil wrapped his arms around Dan. “That sounds like the best life ever. I want that with you.”

Dan frowned even though he knew Phil was being honest and would stay with him – but still, he felt insecure. “Phil, could we talk about something? I want you to be blunt with me. It won’t hurt my feelings. There’s just something that I’m curious about.”

Phil leaned back so that he could see Dan’s face. “What is it?”

“I know what we’ve done is the right thing. I need to be human again so that I can just be me, not a nogitsune that might hurt you, but Phil… Tell me, is there anything you’re going to miss about me being a kitsune?”

“You mean honestly?” Phil bit his lip as he thought. Then he nodded. “The snow.”

Dan looked around the room, remembering the fight they’d had here before he told Phil that he loved him. “The warm snow? You’re going to miss that?”

“Yes, I always meant to ask you to cast that illusion again. So that I could enjoy it properly.”

Dan nodded. “So, should I do it now?”

Phil gaped at him. “Dan, you can’t. You’ll hurt yourself.”

“No, let me see the watch,” Dan insisted. When Phil pulled it out from under his shirt, Dan held the watch which was still hanging around Phil’s neck. He closed his eyes for a moment and then smiled when he felt warm snowflakes drifting across his skin. He opened his eyes, seeing snow swirling in the air around him and his black tail flicking idly at his side. Dan released the watch around Phil’s neck, pleased with the way his blue-green eyes were wide with wonder at the sight of the snow. Dan asked, “You like it?”          

“Yes,” Phil said with a nod, but he shifted concerned eyes to Dan’s face. “Are you okay? You really didn’t have to do this.”

“I’m fine. I got the power from my hoshi no tama. Besides, this is my last chance to do an illusion, so I wanted to make it a good one.”

“Okay. Well, it’s perfect. Thank you.” Neither of them said anything for a moment as they watched the snow. Dan smiled, loving the way the snowflakes settled in Phil’s black hair. Then Phil frowned as he said, “I love this. I really do. But it just reminded me of a conversation I had with Martyn yesterday.”

“Oh?” Dan prompted.

Phil hesitated before saying, “Yeah, I was asking my brother if I’m childish. He told me I am, but it’s a good thing. Like how I get excited when it snows. He said I’m childish, but it’s the thing that makes me special. He said I see the joy in all things.”

Dan thought about it before nodding. “I think he’s right. I think that’s what drew me to you in the beginning.”

Phil’s eyebrows rose. “What? Really?”

“Yeah, I needed someone like you. You’ve made me a better person.” Dan couldn’t maintain eye contact as he admitted, “I didn’t have much of a life before you. I never did anything for fun – it had been so long I’d forgotten how to have fun. And then I met you and you brought out this side of me that I thought had died back when I was a kid. I grew up too fast and I didn’t know how to be different, the way you are. I admire so much about you. Like the thing your brother said about the snow. I wanted to be like you. I wanted to see life in the way you do, so when we met I wanted to spend more and more time with you. I got addicted to you and your rose-colored view of the world.”

At the sound of Phil’s heavy swallow, Dan looked up and met his gaze again. Phil asked, “And what about now? Now that we’re always together?”

Dan smiled in understanding; Phil was asking why Dan was with him. “I think that now that we’re always together things will be perfect. I’m too much of an adult and you’re a bit like a kid. I like the way you see the world, and sometimes when I’m with you I can see the world in that way, too. Not all the time, but sometimes. It’s perfect because we balance each other out. I’ll be okay as long as I have you.”

Phil reached across the bed and squeezed Dan’s hands. “Same. I need you.” Then he smiled broadly. “Hey, Dan?”

“Hmmm?”

“Come be a kid with me.” Then he dragged Dan gently off the bed and they settled onto the floor, which was dusted with an inch of snow. Phil grabbed a handful of snow and quickly formed a tight snowball with it.

Dan grinned, unafraid of the weapon that Phil was now bouncing in his palm. “Come on, you’re not going to throw that at me.”

“Are you sure, Howell?”

“Yes, Lester,” Dan teased, flashing his dimples because he knew Phil liked them. “You like my face. You’re not going to hit me in the face with a snowball.”

“I do like your face,” Phil admitted as he continued to bounce the snowball. He tilted his head as if he was appraising Dan. “Okay, you don’t think I’m going to do it, right? If you’re so sure then close your eyes.”

Dan closed his eyes, feeling them crease at the corners with amusement as he continued to smile. Then he felt the back of his t-shirt being pulled out by the collar before Phil dumped a handful of snow down it. The snow was warm so at least there wasn’t the sensation of cold sliding down his spine, but still he gasped in surprise at the sensation and smacked Phil’s hands away from his neck. “You absolute rat! I trusted you.”

Phil covered his mouth with his hand to muffle his laughter. “Oh my gosh. Don’t make me laugh so loud. My mum might come in to see what’s going on. We have to keep it down.”

Dan nodded, knowing that they couldn’t let Phil’s family see this. He felt a rush of excitement at the thought that tomorrow they wouldn’t need to hide anything from Phil’s family anymore because he would be human. Still, he couldn’t help grinning at the thought of Kath overhearing Phil’s laughter because he had done that. He had made Phil laugh, and he wanted Kath to hear it. They made each other happy, and everyone should know that.

“Hey, come lie beside me,” Phil said. They laid on their backs on the floor, moving their arms and legs in ways that would leave impressions in the snow, but neither of them got up to see the shapes that they had left behind. Instead, they looked up, watching the snow continue to fall above them.