#i can’t even really explain why i’m simping for him either

[vngelicc]

𓆩♡𓆪 “you don’t have to admit you wanna play, just let me rock you till the break of day,” – jock!jk

·˚ ༘ 💌 TAGS — simping at its finest, blowjobs, cum-swallowing, degradation, dumbification, jk is mean but also a praise fanatic, oc is a cute puppy who eats it all up, objectification(?) pretty sure bc jk just has unholy thoughts about oc, oc is THEE it girl, dirty talking, messy lil make-outs, thank you kiss on the tip LOL, PET NAME GALORE, oc is a nice lil bimbo everyone loves ❤️ even jk’s friends luv her

Jungkook listened to whatever the hell Jennie was explaining to him, in truth he stopped paying attention like five minutes ago. He sat there like a fried vegetable just zoning out and nodding mindlessly whenever Jennie looked at him and asked if he agreed etc. He didn’t want to be rude to Jennie but any more of this and he’d go insane he fears.

“So for the powerpoint I was thinking we should..” Jennie’s voice slowly fades out as the sound of the front door opening catches Jungkook’s eye/attention. Holy shit he doesn’t believe what he’s witnessing. He doesn’t realize he’s staring hardcore at Jennie’s poor unsuspecting roommate.

He instantly recognizes you as the girl he sees his team/friends go crazy over. You were quite the talk of the campus—cute, slutty, bimbo-like, these were some of the most common things said. If Jungkook had to admit, you were pretty cute and he’s only ever really seen you casually here and there. He finds himself licking his lips slowly and sitting up while clearing his throat.

“Hi Jennie, hi Jennie’s friend.” You sweetly say while waving at Jungkook politely. He gets an eyeful of tits and soft tummy as you pass by.

You’re wearing this soft pink tracksuit and white baby tee crop top which hugs your pretty little tits just nicely. Don’t even get him started about your backside which is enough in itself to bring a tear to his eye. Jungkook doesn’t realize he’s overdoing it with his staring until Jennie clears her throat pretty loudly.

“Ahem.” She glares at him, “As I was saying,” she shoves her laptop in Jungkook’s face.

He doesn’t see more of you because you end up heading down the hall to your room after saying “bye-bye” to both him and Jennie. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He grunts in annoyance.

“Not my roommate Jeon, you can go about fucking anything that fucking walks and has a hole between their legs but you leave y/n out of your lechery. Got it?” She hisses, “I can see the gears working in that stupid head of yours, so I’m warning you. Now help me with this powerpoint asshole, I’m not doing all the work.”

Jungkook internally groans—overprotective roommate, greaaat.

Whole time he works on the project his mind is filled with obscene thoughts and nasty little daydreams he comes up with just thinking about you. Jungkook’s had his fair share of hook-ups but none have ever truly made him go this crazy before. He’s fucking FIENDING for it, would be on his damn knees begging for you to crush his head with your soft thighs if he could.

Too bad Jennie said you were off-limits though. Unless..

Much to Jungkook’s dismay he doesn’t see you for the remainder of the time he’s there. He does see you more often around campus though, whether it’s you hopping out of your very pink car or you running about all over campus with a pink drink in your hands. He can’t get enough of you, and it’s fucking obvious to his friends who make fun of him for it.

“y/n, Kook? Really?” Yugyeom snorts, “Only in your fucking dreams will you ever hit that, your little guy down there probably wouldn’t even know what to do with all that ass.” Laughter all around them erupts as Yugyeom smugly smirks, happy with himself.

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “You’re so fucking stupid,” more laughing, “honestly, if anyone has more chances it’s me, you’re all either losers AND she’s never bat an eye at you. I don’t see any action from any of you either, all talk and shit.” He mutters while taking a drag from the blunt they were all passing around.

“Not true! y/n is a nice girl Jungkook.” Jimin snorts, “Watch,” he turns around and looks over the area for you, “hey y/n!” He yells while waving his arms. They all wait patiently for your reaction, low and behold you just end up proving Jimin correct.

You look confused at first until you smile brightly, “Hi,” you wave back while walking over, “what are you guys up to?” You tilt your head, lips pursed in a adorable little pout.

“Smoking.” Yugyeom replies curtly, “Want some?” He holds the blunt out to you.

Jungkook doesn’t know why but that shit irks the fuck out of him, he shoots his friend a glare and fans the smoke out of your direction before it can hit you. You smell like chai mixed with pumpkin, and he definitely does NOT want to ruin your pretty smell.

“No thank you,” you politely reply and then turn to look at Jimin again, “ ‘m a little sad though, because this morning I tried to make waffles but I didn’t know you had to actually pull the lever down and I didn’t get to eat my waffles.” You sigh wistfully, “See?” You hold out the raw and cold waffles wrapped up in a napkin, “And I don’t like it,” you shake your head, “you’re my friend right Jiminie? Can you buy me some waffles from the cafe pretty please?” You whine.

Jimin turns a little red at the nickname and nods, “Here,” he holds out a couple of bills, more than enough.

The other guys scramble for their wallets, “I’m your friend too right y/n?” They say while holding out their own money to you. Jungkook just stands there slack-jawed, he has never seen his own friends this fucking down-bad before. Oh, but they wanted to laugh at him for simping after you? Funny how the tables have turned.

“Reallyyyy?” You breathily giggle while accepting the money, “Thank you!” You kiss Jimin on the cheek before skipping away with literally breakfast, lunch, and dinner money.

“But I’M the fuckin’ simp? Yeah, totally.” Jungkook scoffs while shaking his head.

Jungkook starts making up an excuse to talk to you from then on. He doesn’t have to do much because you do all the talking for him, he just stands there listening to you ramble on and on about something he doesn’t recall asking. He thinks it’s cute when you stop mid-sentence and say in utter confusion, “What was I talking about again?”

If he could, he’d sit there and just listen to you talk all day. He’s surprised how much he likes your ditziness and dumb little brain fart moments, he finds that he doesn’t mind it so much. Like now, he was sitting there propped up against his car in the parking lot listening to you rant about astrology, time-loops, and anime..?

“Yeah?” Jungkook occasionally says while he watches you passionately explain to him what a fucking shinigami was.

“Think about it—politics and death notebooks, they go hand in hand for disaster and doom.” You softly say, completely side-tracking from the original topic, “I wish I had a shinigami though,” you pout while tapping your finger against your chin, “I think Ryuk is pretty cool. Have you seen the anime?”

Jungkook hums, “No, heard of it but haven’t seen it. So like, shinigami’s come with a death note or what?” He asks, ready for another little rant of yours (he doesn’t mind though). His eyes fall down to your pretty camisole you wore today. You were wearing these cute tight jeans that hung low on your hips, he loved the little pink bows you attached to the belt loops.

“Mm-hm,” you nod, “oh! I gotta go before I forget, all my undies shrunk in the dryer and now they’re pretty tight ‘n they fit a little smaller so now I have to buy some more.” You pout, “Bye Jungkookie,” you throw one arm around his neck as you side-hug him, standing on your tippy toes to reach his height as you press a kiss to his cheek, “bye-bye!” You wave and run off.

“Bye..” Jungkook whispers in awe, he smells a hint of your perfume on his shirt and he vows then and there he isn’t going to wash this shirt anytime soon.

The next time that Jungkook sees you it’s when he’s leaving your shared apartment after another project session. He sees you bent over while poking and trying to pull at the gas tank lid, which is obviously sealed shut. He whistles under his breath and walks over, eyes dropping down to your perky ass which is covered in these pretty little shorts which hug both cheeks nice and tight.

“What you doing down there, hm?” Jungkook leans against the car with his arms folded over his chest and an amused smile on his face, “Having fun?”

“Jungkook, hi,” you greet softly while standing up straight, “I was just trying to get this stupid thingy open because Jennie is letting me borrow her car cause mine is in the shop getting the windows tinted,” you pout, “but I don’t know how to open this stupid thing, and I wanna fill her car with gas as a thank you for letting me borrow it. Help meeeee,” you whine tugging at his arm.

“C’mere,” he loosely wraps an arm around your waist and guides you to sit in the driver's seat, “you see this baby?” He squats down so he’s eye-level with you, his free hand rests over your soft thighs while he points with his other, “You just pull this, and wa-la, the gas tank lid pops right open.” He chuckles and squeezes your thigh.

Your eyes brighten, “Reallyyy? How cool, thank you.” You happily throw your arms around his neck and hug him tightly, “no wonder that stupid thing wasn’t opening.” You giggle.

Jungkook takes a deep whiff of your soft coconut smell, he closes his eyes and sighs in pure bliss. This was the dream dammit, he never wanted to leave this spot EVER. “It was no problem really.” He mumbles more to himself while he stares at your pretty tits.

Fuck the friend code (if you can even call Jennie’s threat that), friend code didn’t have a pair of child-bearing hips and a ass shaped like a fucking peach like you did. Who was Jennie to keep all of you to herself so selfishly?

“Jungkook,” you softly say, “ ‘m gonna give you a thank you kiss.”

Jungkook laughs in amusement over how proud of yourself you look right now, he finds himself shaking his head and speaking in a lower pitched tone, “Yeah, where? Right here?” He turns his face to stick his cheek out.

A tiny little giggle escapes your lips as you nod at him, “Mm-hmm, right there.” You lean upwards to kiss his cheek gently, emitting a soft smacking noise as you happily smooch him. “There.” You say more to yourself.

Jungkook’s eyes drop down to your jiggly boobs which are pretty much in his face at this point. Your camisole somehow dips lower as your tits sit perfectly pushed together to accentuate their size. He tells himself not to but his dick seems to say otherwise as it stirs up in the confinements of his boxers. He already knows he’s about to be sporting a hard-on by the end of this interaction so he gives in.

“Want another kiss..” He mumbles while licking his lips, “But not on my cheek..got somethin’ else you can kiss.”

Your eyes follow his line of sight and you come across the very prominent bulge sitting behind his sweats. Your cheeks feel hot from embarrassment as the familiar throbbing sensation forms between your legs. Jungkook sees this when you suddenly begin rubbing your soft thighs together while staring back at him through half-lidded eyes.

“Whaddya say baby,” he lazily grins, “can I get that kiss?”

You stare back at him with those sweet puppy eyes of yours and nod eagerly.

.

Lips smacking against lips and quiet little moans/noises fill the otherwise dimly lit car (God bless his Mercedes for the interior lighting). You were tucked away on his lap in the backseat of the car, windows foggy and all as your hand slipped from the glass. Jungkook could die a happy man right now with the way he had a handful of ass sitting in the palms of his hands. He gave your soft cheeks appreciative squeezes as he kneaded the flesh roughly—greedily.

His own lips were a bit swollen from the hot make-out session but he didn’t mind, you were one hell of a kisser. One thing he didn’t see coming was how much of a little sex fiend you were, he swears he can’t keep up with how needy and slutty you are. He almost finds it cute how you pout and beg for him to let you have it while simultaneously humping him and refusing to let him part from the kiss.

Jungkook raised his hand and brought it down hard on your ass cheek, relishing in the resounding slap noise and how it recoiled/bounced in place. A slutty little moan escapes your lips as you pull back and pant softly against his lips, “Take ‘em off,” you slur softly, “hate these stupid shorts, gettin�� in my way.” You mumble with a tiny pout.

“Gonna let me see what’s underneath baby?” He looks up through his hooded eyes, grinning when he sees you eagerly nodding back at him, “Yeah? Go on then, slide ‘em off baby, show me what you got on.” He smacks your ass and gropes it harshly, only letting go when you whine at him while unbuttoning your shorts.

He swears under his breath as soon as the button pops open and you slip the zipper down. The hem of your undies comes into view, he sees a tiny bow sitting at the top so innocently and he can’t help but wonder what the rest of your panties are like.. Jungkook reclines back on the seat and parts his legs to make room for you.

You manage to slip your shorts down your thighs slowly with your hips swaying from side to side. Jungkook lets out an audible groan when he sees the cheeky undergarment that was hiding underneath. “Well don’t you look pretty,” he comments while running his hand over your ass, “bet you look prettier under.” He mumbles while licking his lips.

“But what about your kiss?” You pout.

Jungkook smacks your ass wickedly, “Don’t give me that fuckin’ pout. Didn’t know you were that eager to suck my cock, ‘s all you’re good for isn’t it baby? Just a dumb little thing who needs her mouth filled huh?” He grins when he hears you moan, “You gonna be a good little cock sleeve for me?”

“The best,” you happily slur, “ ‘m gonna swallow every last drop, promise.”

He finds it endearing when you hold your pinky out to him, and not wanting to be mean he hooks his pinky with yours, “Good girl.” He brings you in for a gentle little smooch, “Gonna ruin that pretty face of yours baby,” he whispers in-between kisses, “get on your knees for me.”

Jungkook finds that he likes how submissive and responsive you are to him, makes it a hundred times sexier in his opinion. You sink to your knees in front of him without missing a beat, you have your hands set over his knees as you sit there waiting with puppy eyes. “Go ahead baby, ‘s all yours.” He chuckles.

You eagerly paw at his sweats and with his help pull them down alongside his boxers until his fat cock is springing out and slapping against his lower abdomen. Your mouth waters when your eyes land on his perfectly sculpted cock, now you wanna feel it inside of you more than ever. His cock lays against his stomach, flush at the tip with prominent veins on the underside of his shaft.

“ ‘s mine…?” You whisper breathily while pursing yours lips, “ ‘s so pretty..” You’re talking more to yourself as you grab ahold of his throbbing cock and bring the mushroomy tip to your lips. Your tongue pokes out as you swirl it over the head, moaning softly at the tangy taste.

Jungkook bites down on his lip as he watches with hooded eyes, he can’t believe his wet dreams are coming true. Did he save an entire country in his past life? Made sense with how lucky he was right now. He brings his tattooed hand over the back of your head as he simply rests it there, letting you explore his dick like if it was a lollipop or some shit.

Your lips wrap around the head as you make these sloppy little sucking noises. Trickles of saliva begin to trickle down his cock, you use it as lube to stroke his girthy shaft—twisting and turning your hand around it while you noisily swallow around the tip. Jungkook’s lips part with breathy sighs escaping him, he relaxes into the seat and leans his head back with his eyes slipped shut.

You’re working wonders on his cock right now with the way you’re slowly taking more and more of him into your mouth. “Like that,” he whispers more to himself as he moans out again when you dip your tongue into the sensitive slit of his tip. Your strokes become slower but much more intense with the pressure you start applying. It’s getting a lot harder now to control himself from bucking his hips or something.

“Shit, don’t tease me baby,” he groans, “been thinking about your pretty little lips wrapped around my cock for weeks now. Knew you’d look pretty with a mouth full of cock.” Jungkook opens his eyes again to admire the view. “Open up for me baby,” he reaches down to thumb at your lower lip, “there you go—like that.” He grins.

He feeds you more of his cock watching as you eagerly take more and more until the tip hits the back of your throat. It sends you into a small gagging fit but the vibrations and pressure of your throat closing around him definitely sends zaps of hot pleasure down in his groin and lower belly. “Shit.” He groans loudly.

You whine around his cock and pull away to catch your breath, his cock slips from your mouth with a string of saliva connecting your lips to his cock. Jungkook hisses quietly under his breath and reaches down to stroke his slicked up cock, “Messy little thing you are.”

“Off, off, ‘s my turn.” You huff cutely before swallowing his cock in one go now that you’re a bit more prepared.

It takes Jungkook by surprise as he groans loudly and throws his head back. You begin working wonders with that sinful tongue of yours, pairing it with some mean ass sucks. He lets his hand slip from the back of your head to the nape of your neck, just holding you there as he lets you do your thing. You begin bobbing your head slowly while noisily swallowing around his cock.

“Fucking hell y/n,” he whispers slack-jawed, you’re a damn menace. How the hell is he supposed to last? “You just needed something to fill that needy hole of yours didn’t you?” He pants softly, “Knew the moment I saw you that you were made for my cock baby. If only you could see yourself now.” He licks his lips and gives your neck a small gentle squeeze between his fingers.

You slurp up all the slick you leave behind on his cock, your hand sits at the base just idly gripping him while your mouth does all the work. You pull all the way up until the tip sits in your mouth before you swoop back down to take all of him in. He repeatedly hits the back of your throat but you do a much better job at controlling your gag reflex this time around. Your sloppy pace definitely has Jungkook moaning and grunting under his breath.

“Gonna cum,” he sighs, “keep going—like that.” He whispers as a full body shudder falls over him.

You eagerly pull off his cock and begin stroking him at a frantic pace. You watch with glee as his cock begins to throb in your hold, but you don’t let it deter you one bit. You’re eager to see him cum, you want it all in your mouth. “Like this?” You say this while squeezing around the tip and flicking your thumb over it.

Jungkook gasps softly, “Fuck..!” He hisses.

You smile deviously and bring the tip over your lips, “Or like this?” You whisper, blowing softly over his sensitive head before you take him back into your mouth.

Jungkook lets out a mantra of “fucks” and “yes’s” as he reaches down to grip his cock, his hand covers your own as he begins moving your hand up and down on his cock. You suckle at the head and watch as he comes undone. “Oh fuckkk..” He whispers as his cock throbs, cum shooting down your throat as you swallow around him greedily.

He slumps in the seat and pants quietly while watching you clean his dick with your sinful little tongue. He doesn’t think he’s ever cum that hard in his entire life before. He saw the pearly white gates of heaven just now.. “A-Ah shit, no more baby, ‘s sensitive.” He chuckles breathily when you try to suck on his (slowly softening) cock.

You pull back with a cheerful smile on your face, the corner of your mouth has drool and a bit of cum but you don’t seem to mind, “ ‘s so pretty.” You coo like his dick is the most amazing thing ever, he watches you lean over to press a tiny little kiss to the sensitive head.

Are you even real??

“C’mere,” he pats his lap, “I saw the way you were humping your own hand like a bitch in heat the entire time you had my cock in your mouth.” He says as he hauls you up, “You also deserve a nice little thank you, don’t you baby?” He grins while stroking his hands over your soft cheeks.

You nod eagerly, “Mm-hm,” you wrap your arms around his neck and tug him closer, “do you wanna come upstairs after this? I wanna introduce you to my bunny Luna! Oh, and we can watch some anime together because I think it’s lame you haven’t seen Sailor Moon OR Death Note.” You huff in disbelief.

Little did Jungkook know that by saying yes to all that he’d end up staying for wayyyyy longer than he initially planned. You becoming (a important) part of his life was a bonus. <3

TAGLIST: @fragmentof-indifference @jungkooksseuphoria @kooliv @angelarin @jjeonjjk7 @lilliankoo @pb-n-juju @ellesalazar @saweetspoiled @laylasbunbunny @prettyprincejk @cherrysainttt @hyunjinswifeee @joongraduatewithonor @hellbornsworld @leire-mia @m1sss1mp @lissful @winkii @lifeless-firefly @exactlygreatcoffee @taestoess @ayalies @floweryjeons @softtcurse @lilspinachwrld @tearyjjeon @littleobsessedkitty @lovelovelovebts @angeljmnie @rerefundslocals @bangtans-mama @thvhoe @maddkitt @tvse @ohjeon @teteswtnr @jkslovey12 @kelsyx33 @milfpo1ice @sluttydidi @ztyur @beomgyuult @shescharlie @sweet-sourhotcoco @lalita-7 @hazzzelsdimension @p34rluv @kook-net @bonita0-0 @vmapy @dahliadaenerys @gukiebaby @babycandy111

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - eighty-eight | born to run

“You’re hurting me…”

“Explain yourself.”

You looked into his eyes. Whatever soft dewey-ness that was there because of his lovey-dovey feelings for you a moment ago was completely gone. You were scared at the change and how fast it had happened, but you couldn’t admit that out loud.

“You’re hurting my arm.”

He stared into your eyes and you thought of the microphone for a moment before pushing it away. Something about the way he stared almost made you wonder if he was trying to read your mind, and you - as irrational as it sounded - didn’t want to think about it because he might know you were wearing it. You didn’t want to imagine what he’d do then.

“What do you mean? ‘A man who would do such things’ to you?”

You stared at him hard, trying to steel your resolve. His grip got tighter. 

“I meant to say…” Fuck him. You were done pretending. “How could anyone love someone who would delve into their past without asking, who would follow them around for months, and who would think that they’re owed something?”

He glared at you, his nostrils flared like a bull getting ready to charge. His grip tightened again.

You gritted your teeth. Why the fuck was he so strong? “Ow.”

“Good. I’m glad I could hurt you the way you’ve hurt me.”

“I never squeezed your arm so hard it might break.”

“No, but you broke my heart.”

“How?”

“First with Keeho. Your ‘best friend’ from school? Give me a fucking break. Men and women can’t be friends, it’s so obvious you were fucking--”

“Fuck you. Just because you’ve never had a woman for a friend doesn’t mean the rest of us are-- ah!”

You thought you could feel the pressure of his grip start to bend the bones, but you could have imagined it. Regardless, his grip was crazy strong and you were waiting to hear the sound of bone snapping at this point. You tried to push his hand away with your free hand.

“But I let it slide because I saw him in an old picture of yours. I could allow you one male friend. But now with this simp, MorningStar, or should I say: San?”

Your eyes snapped up to meet his. “Keep his name out of your mouth.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really, you fucking creep. You could never be what either of them are to me.”

“And why not?”

“Because you’re like this.” You tried harder to push his hand off you, clawing at his, to no avail.

His eyes widened. “Get up.”

He stood and practically pulled your arm out of your shoulder as he yanked you up off the bench.

“Ow, you’re hurting me.”

“Get up. Quietly.”

You had no choice but to stand. It was that or fall to the floor and be dragged.

“You’re coming with me.”

“No. I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

He pulled on your arm.

“Ow!”

You could see people beginning to turn towards the two of you at that outburst.

He leaned in towards you. “Don’t make a scene.”

“Get your hand off of me!”

He pulled you forward. 

The most base part of your brain registered that your ears heard footsteps moving quickly, running towards you, getting closer. Your conscious mind was too preoccupied with the terrifying prospect that you were about to be kidnapped to pay any attention to it.

You pulled your arm back, trying to free yourself. “No!”

He raised his free hand to hit you. In a flurry, San slammed into him like a hockey player and Byungchul’s grip on you released as he stumbled back a few feet. San was in front of you with his hands on your face, frantically checking you.

“Are you okay?”

You blinked back tears. How did he even know where you were? “I’m fine.”

Satisfied, San turned back around to face Byungchul and put himself in between the two of you. Everyone in the square was watching you now. 

Byungchul dusted himself off as he stood. “Look who it is, y/n, your fake boyfriend.”

“What the hell is your problem?” San asked.

“Nothing, just that your fake girlfriend lured me out here to tell me she loved me. Jealous?”

“I somehow doubt that.”

Byungchul frowned. He lunged at San and San evaded, pushing you away from the both of them. You stumbled back and into the body of Yunho, who caught you, Wooyoung running up behind him.

“Why is San here?” He asked.

“Didn’t you tell him?”

Yunho and Wooyoung both shook their heads. Wooyoung paused and listened to his earpiece. 

“Quack said she messaged him.”

Mystery solved. You sighed, “Thank you, Quack.”

“She said ‘you’re welcome.’”

San and Byungchul grappled for a few moments - Byungchul having the upper hand at first because of his size and weight, and then San gaining the upper hand because of his experience - until the cops showed up and ran over to the two of them. 

“She also said she called the cops.”

As the cops cuffed both of them, you ran over to San. “Wait, wait, he’s with me!”

Wooyoung and Yunho ran after you.

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a/n: San running in to save y/n… thoughts?

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋 Any comments, reblogs, or asks are appreciated! I love talking with you guys and seeing what you’re saying about the chapters, it keeps me going 🥰

@rachs-words • @stayatinykatsy • @dinossaurz​​ • @conwunder​ • @tinyelfperson​​ • @anythingrelatingtojinyoung​ •

[katasstrophy]

Inspired by the Oliver simping for a girl who rejects him writing (I love it. Cocky men being pathetic? Yas). Oliver with a crush on his friend (you) who hates commitment.

Would you kiss him? Yes. Hug him? Yes. Cuddles? Absolutely. Sleep with him? Nope. And when Oliver brought up topics regarding romantic relationships you're just there sweating nervously in the background. Oliver could easily get girls but decided to fall for his friend who disappears at the idea of commitment smh.

i LIVE for cocky men being pathetic, triple S tier trope for sure ���✨ hmm but i feel like this would only happen in certain sorts of situations, like if oliver had a bet running that he could get the reader to sleep with him, or there was some sort of corruption aspect involved that he liked the idea of. otherwise i think oliver would grow bored of the whole cat-and-mouse game you play with him pretty soon unfortunately :(( he enjoys a little hard-to-get chase, but only if he’s confident that he’ll reap the rewards of it, which is to say that in the end, you two will fuck, maybe fool around for a little while until he eventually move on I’M SORRY HE’S A SCUMBAG OKAY

in my head, i just don’t see oliver sticking around for a relationship and/or situationship that’s just hugs and kisses and cuddles. he associates that with romantic attachment, which (he thinks) he’s not really interested in outside of aftercare. the shibuya chapter in the manga shows that he’s both a player and a heartbreaker (not to mention a SLEAZE i want to crush him under my foot like a bug). he’s not one for commitment either! he’s just here for the sex.

which is why i want to put oliver in a scenario where he suffers first after a hookup that remains just that: sex. because isn’t that what he wants? (yes but not with you! but he won’t ever admit that! loser!) isn’t this the perfect outcome of a one night stand for him? you have great sex and then move on? so why is he so fucking pissy that you haven’t texted him at all? that you don’t even deem him with a response for like a day after he sucked it up and texted you first. and he’d honestly be so baffled over the fact that you just - kinda let him down gently, saying that you had a great night but you’re not interested in seeing him anymore. he handles rejection like a manchild pls he’s like WHY?? I THOUGHT YOU SAID THE SEX WAS GOOD?? WAS IT NOT???

and you have to explain to oliver that if you keep sleeping with him you’ll probably get attached or develop feelings, and since you know he can’t handle that it’s best not to get into it in the first place. and oliver aiku, the resident harlot of the town, has to figure out how to do feelings and take a pretty girl on a nice proper date if he doesn’t want to lose you from his life. god i want to make him grovel. 

[via-the-ghoul]

Slasher headcanons: realistically none of these people would do this but like. What if they had Tumblr accounts

Micheal Myers

His username is literally just Micheal-Myers or some variation on it if that’s already taken

He mostly just Reblogs the occasional “Can’t wait for Halloween” “it’s November” “Can’t wait for Halloween” post.

However the actual reason he got this account was to ominously like all of Laurie’s posts

The problem is that she blocked him immediately

She doesn’t even know for sure that it was old Mikey she just thinks naming your account after the guy who destroyed her life is a dick move

And his profile pick is the mask so she knows it’s not the actor or some other guy named Micheal Myers they’re talking about

So he can’t do the ominous liking thing anymore

Freddy Krueger

He is blocked by at least 90% of Tumblr

Ok let me explain

He runs a Freddy Krueger fan account

And isn’t trying to hide the fact that he is literally Freddy Krueger

And kills people

So everyone thinks that he’s just one of the worst of the weird TCC people

The weird serial killer simp TCC people don’t like him either because whenever they post about literally any other serial killer being hot he replies with “Freddy Krueger is way better kys”

And that’s why he’s blocked by at least 90% of Tumblr

Candyman

His account is basically one of the most normal ones on this list lol

It mostly posts those dark poetry posts (you know what I’m talking about right) and old paintings.

And before you ask yes. A good amount of said art is stuff he made as Daniel

He also reblogs a good amount of other people’s art and commission posts, artists gotta support each other!

The weirdest thing about the account is that one time he posted a painting that he made as Daniel, that was like, considered lost media up to this moment

And he didn’t know

Everyone’s just like “YO HOW TF DID YOU FIND THIS” and he’s just like “wait this was lost media”

Billy Loomis and Stu Matcher

They run a joint horror movie review account

Every single review is mostly positive

They still have a clear fav tho: gorey slasher movies

Billy’s reviews are more serious while Stu jokes around a lot

Billy’s like “you know it’s really messed up what happened to Henry, and I like the twist that he isn’t actually the killer this time and it’s the less sympathetic Axel” while Stu’s like “lol stupid kids get fucked”

They’re decently popular in the horror community

The account however, becomes infamous after their deaths and the fact that they were serial killers is revealed

It becomes… really uncomfortable to look at their posts after that

Lester Sinclair

He’s the only Sinclair brother with Tumblr

His posts are mostly just talking about the progress made on the Town of Wax (leaving out the murder obviously)

Bo and Vincent are both worried that Lester’s gonna accidentally reveal their crimes at some point

Similarly to Billy and Stu’s it gets uncomfortable to look at after the truth about the Town of Wax is revealed

However, it does get people to look at the posts

They’d get like 5 notes at most beforehand

Billy Lenz

His profile pic is the Bob eye, his username is a keyboard smash, and his background’s just like static or something

He just replies to random posts with keyboard smashes

Sometimes he’ll accidentally link a website but it never means anything

It’s a huge mystery what tf is going on with blog

At one he just posts “i am going to kill you” with no tags and goes silent forever

Everyone thinks it’s some bizarre ARG that didn’t go anywhere

Amanda Young

She posts quotes from various horror media she finds cool as well as aesthetic boards for said media

It’s mostly dark poetry, horror stories, and art house Horror movies

And the occasional Jigsaw quote

She does not hide the fact that she is a Jigsaw apologist. While being a trap survivor.

People argue about whether her account is ok or not for this reason

[bthump]

Hi there, I just wanted to say your analyses are really thoughtful and eye opening, and I think they’re quite rare in this fandom, bc most berserk enjoyers I’ve encountered don’t really tend to look at it with the same angle you do. Do you maybe know of any youtubers that have similar outlooks on the story?

Anyways most of the viewpoints I see there and on other platforms either deny the homoeroticism between guts and griffith/deny it’s mutual or say it’s one sided, + push gutsca as the endgame and approve of Casca’s eclipse/ post eclipse treatment. If they do defend and genuinely like Griffith a lot of them do it in a pretty misogynistic way (“casca enjoyed it” or doing this weird ass shit where they try to use Casca as a moral centre between guts and griff or something, idk if I’m explaining that well lol). Like a lot of them will get so close to *getting* it, for example they will talk about a scene where pot Casca is clearly traumatised/ disturbed by Guts’ presence, or see a scene where pot Casca is neutral/ comfortable around neo Griffith and instead of thinking about it like “hmm, she isn’t really getting/ never really got a chance to do anything for or by herself around these dudes or develop outside them” they will be like “SEE POT CASCA IS SCARED OF GUTS AND DOESN’T WANT TO BE WITH HIM THAT PROVES SHE DOESN’T DESERVE GUTS/DEEP DOWN IS STLL IN LOVE WITH GRIFFITH AND WILL BETRAY GUTS, SHES FOR THE STREETS/ CASCA PREFERS GRIFFITH GRIFFITH IS GOOD”or they will do this insane thing where they say that guts is a “simp” for doing so much for casca and that casca doesn’t deserve him. And that Casca owes him big time when she does gain her mind back and that if she leaves him after she’s healed then she’s an ungrateful **** and all that unpleasant stuff. Which is just as r**ey in its own right tbh, she doesn’t owe anyone anything except basic gratitude for looking after her after being in that state but these ppl can’t seem to comprehend that and it’s just like ughh why do y’all gotta be that way.

Alternatively, when some of these people defend Griffith, they just leave no room for nuance and try to pretend Griffith has no flaws at all and that guts does everything wrong. (Some of them feel like trolls tbh). I do get it, as this fandom really loves to excessively hate on Griffith and glorify guts to the point where it just gets tiring and gets in the way of any meaningful discussion. But these analyses just swing entirely in the opposite direction to counteract that, and completely miss the nuance they could have imo.

Especially with regards to Griffith. I feel like a big part of the problem is that due to the nature of what he does to Casca during the eclipse it makes him quite a polarising character. People either want to completely hate on him and not discuss anything good about him at all or they overcompensate by trying to turn him into a saint to defend him. And imo both parties completely miss the point of griff, or at the very least are missing the complexity of his character.

Well even that isn’t the entire truth because I think on a level the majority of the fandom is in a consensus that Griffith is a brilliantly written character, many of them call him the best manga villain period. So it’s not like him being recognised as complex or well written is the issue, but I think even a lot of these supposedly “neutral” deep dives into griff seem to lean more in the direction of depicting him as a calculating sociopath, someone who needs to feel in control of his pawns and never felt any love for the BoTH including/except guts (depending on the individual). And that the eclipse and whole GH thing just revealed his “true nature” and what he was all along. And even if they do portray Griffith more sympathetically and recognise that he did have strong feelings for guts and the BoTH they either ignore or deny the extent of the griffguts relationship and just default to saying that gutsca is the best path forward for guts and that griff is root of all evil / has to be killed by guts in a bloody epic battle for the end to be satisfying.

I also saw the ask which was saying something to the effect of how a lot of the more dudebro-esque berserk enjoyers only really appreciate Casca to the extent they do because she showed that she’s Guts’, she’s *his* woman. And that’s something I also believe, i think there’s a lot more to be unpacked there too. but in general with the tendency the same people I’ve been talking about have to do this too, one guess I have is that due to berserk being their fav/one of their fave mangas and guts being their fave protagonist by extension, these ppl will be very defensive over all/most aspects of it. And I’ve seen this in the way they react to any criticisms of it, especially involving criticisms regarding misogyny/ Casca’s and other FC’s treatment. They often stress that Casca is one of the best/ if not the best female character in fiction, and whilst I love casca myself, I think that this is a rather bleak statement lol. Plus it’s so true what you said about them seeing Casca as Guts’ narrative reward. Idk, I feel like these kinds of takes that seem to push Casca being a prize for guts and the ones that are against discussing Guts and Griffith’s relationship in a romantic context tend to go hand in hand.

Anyways sorry this turned out to be a bit longer and more of a rant than I hoped but ig I just wanted to convey some of my thoughts and frustrations surrounding the discourse about berserk. Of course, I get that many of these opinions will be very popular and having them doesn’t make anyone less of a fan. I just think some of them can often come from some misguided interpretations. Though who knows where the manga is headed now lol I could be completely misreading things

Yeah lol you've pretty much detailed why I ignore 90% of the fandom and just do my own thing in this little griffguts-y tumblr circle here. Can't blame you for wanting to rant about it if you spend any time on like, the Berserk reddit or whatever. Glad you could get that off your chest!

Wrt youtubers, you might want to check out this guy. I can't personally rec him because I don't have the attention span to watch fandom-related youtube videos myself, but some of the same people who follow me like him, and it sounds like we share some similar opinions.

ETA: a more critical take on his channel, and some more youtube vid recs here

And just as a quick heads-up, I think the 'potato casca' nickname is pretty derogtory in an ableist way so if you send any future asks I'd appreciate if you just said post-eclipse or regressed Casca or something like that. It's no big deal, I know it's super prevalent elsewhere in fandom and if you've never really thought about it it's easy to just use the same terms you've seen everywhere else, but yeah that one kinda sucks imo. Yet another reason I find the Berserk fandom mostly distasteful and obnoxious lol.

[waiting-on-a-dream]

𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝟸 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚌 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘

What's the point of this post exactly? Well, I forgot to put the chosen lyrics of the Milgram songs in the prisoners' wikipedia pages to explain why that specific song suits them, so here we are. I decided to do it for the DECO*27 and other producers' songs as well.

I also noticed that the undercover lyrics for the canon prisoners have been changed to incorporate the titles of their trial 1 songs, so I'm doing that for my prisoners as well. :D

_𝙴𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚢𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚜

𝙸𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚘: “UNDER” An outsider in my own home, things just don't work out the way I want them to.

𝙰𝚔𝚊𝚗𝚎: “UNDER” I'm sick of people who blind themselves to the truth, will anyone bother to open their eyes?

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚎: “UNDER” Always chasing after the artificial happiness high, it seems nothing will ever fill the hole within.

𝚂𝚞𝚣𝚞𝚖𝚎: “UNDER” Holding onto a false red string of love, there's nothing like a love worth killing for.

𝙷𝚊𝚔𝚞: “UNDER” Keeping this mark on, a social performance. I will not forgive, there is someone I must protect.

𝚈𝚞𝚒: “UNDER” Dancing for the enjoyment of others, I've worked so hard. Shouldn't I be rewarded by now?

𝚁𝚒𝚗: “UNDER” Cherry blossoms fall in the spring. Time passes on selfishly but promises are absolute, that's right.

𝙽𝚘𝚊: “UNDER” I'm drowning in melancholy. It hurts so much and it's all my fault, why am I like this?

𝙺𝚒𝚢𝚘𝚜𝚑𝚒: “UNDER” My true colours cannot be shown. I'm running frantically, just a little longer...

𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚞𝚖𝚒: “UNDER” Like a macrophage, wiping out the threats to society. I simply did everyone a favor, I did nothing wrong.

_𝙸𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚢𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚜

𝙸𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚘

Milgram: All-knowing and all-agony (Mommy, look, I’ve done great. “There there, my good boy!”) The entire song could apply to him actually, but this line...

DECO*27: Re:[repaint] (They told me the end is not to be found anywhere. They told me the beginning is not to be found anywhere, either.) He's had many existential crises like that, but nobody really bothered to comfort him properly.

Non-DECO*27: Hitorinbo envy (To you, and even you. To be blunt, I'm not really needed in this world, right?) Ichiro did try to get closer to the "stranger" in his house actually.

𝙰𝚔𝚊𝚗𝚎

Milgram: Bring it on (You apologize if you do something wrong, you learn that even before words, don’t you? All evil hypocrites should disappear.) She's been let down by a lot of people.

DECO*27: Streaming heart (Though I say many things, please try and seek out the real me.) Even a tsundere like her wants to be understood.

Non-DECO*27: Idola circus (We know, we know your true nature. Again putting on a fake face, you’re just like a pierrot.) I think she'd like most of Neru songs.

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚎

Milgram: Tear drop (Feeling magnanimous? INNOCENT? I’m so not that. Just shut it, will you? You know it all.) Yuno kinnie let's gooooo!!

DECO*27: Salamander (I surrender, I’m already hooked. I can’t function without you anymore.) I genuinely think that if he wasn't such a simp for his friend, you guys would take him more seriously.

Non-DECO*27: Casino (Stalked by memories that haunt. Hear them laughing, hear them taunt. Play the victim, run away from the words you shot.) This song is really catchy, it suits his cool vibe well.

𝚂𝚞𝚣𝚞𝚖𝚎

Milgram: Umbilical (Just the two of us I finally found it. The lies are endless. Just me alone, it really is lonely.) Ah, unhealthy relationships. We love to see it.

DECO*27: Psychogram (You’re too wonderful, I don’t want to let anyone else have you. Hey, if not me, who would you choose?) Ahem. This clue is obvious enough, right?

Non-DECO*27: Feast (Art should be full of cryptography and misleading. Is the answer you found out really an "ANSWER?") Oh, this line~!!! Here's one for the audience for a change.

𝙷𝚊𝚔𝚞

Milgram: Triage (The correct answer, I don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding.) The lyrics are a bit dramatic when taking Haku's situation as context, but it works well enough.

DECO*27: Nocturnal kids (You can sleep now. I’ll protect you diligently, after all.) This ties in with the scene in his music video.

Non-DECO*27: Blind egoist (In a dream I can’t wake up from, I feverishly want my feelings to reach you. I look at my body spilling over and offer up my meager ‘love.') What can I say? He misses his brother.

𝚈𝚞𝚒

Milgram: After pain (But I guess some of it is my fault. Maybe it’s ok as it is. I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?) Her first Milgram cover was INMF. How the tables have turned.

DECO*27: Reversible campaign (Depending on this self that can't be saved, I cheerfully decorate myself with a fake smile. How are the tears of a damaged girl?) Ah, these lines sure suit her well. Especially after her guilty verdict.

Non-DECO*27: Schema (I am a hazardous person, a hazardous person, a hazardous person. I’m beyond saving. This dance beat vanished in sorrow.) Her self-esteem issues have been hinted at a few times now. The 'dance beat' part can also be a reference to her first song title!

𝚁𝚒𝚗

Milgram: I love you (My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care! Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?) Mahiru kinnie fr. His guilty verdict is starting to get to him, but not quite enough yet.

DECO*27: Candy Pattern (Trying to say “sorry”, but more than wanting to have you forgive me, I just want to be forgiven. I've turned into a spoiled child after all…) Some self-awareness from his guilty verdict?

Non-DECO*27: One of Repetition (I really did believe you, I didn't want to doubt you. I felt like we were drifting apart, but it was all a lie to begin with, we were never even close.) More insight into his relationship with Renho. :0

𝙽𝚘𝚊

Milgram: Weakness (I was in denial, I was in denial. I just had to make sure. I’ve become a victim, I’ve become a victim. My loneliness was desired.) This song fits her really well. Now she and Ichiro share a cover. :D

DECO*27: Coward mont blanc (These are all the feelings I have, I’ll only say them in this many words. I loved you, but it was a heavy burden.) Its not as bad as it looks, I promise.

Non-DECO*27: Nomad (If I'm stuck struggling here, at the bottom of my dreams, I'd rather consume this night whole for all I'm worth. Just stay by my side until I disgust you.) Her feelings towards her husband...are sadly complicated.

𝙺𝚒𝚢𝚘𝚜𝚑𝚒

Milgram: Cat (The beating of this heart... see... it’s no longer about good and bad... it isn’t. I realize the futility, but I still can’t help but dream.) Yes, Cat really fits Daisuke, but a big part of it suits Kiyoshi too. Mainly the lying and ignoring his feelings part. Also, old men. :D

DECO*27: Two breaths walking (The words I just learned become a knife that pierces through you, tearing your life to pieces.) Tbh I chose this song just to match his non-breath oblige cover.

Non-DECO*27: Non-breath oblige (I'll raise the white flag to the tyranny of the majority, suppress my ill feelings and say cheese.) He's such a people pleaser.

𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚞𝚖𝚒

Milgram: Purge march (I will deny you, a distorted vision needs to be purged.) Yeah, the song isn't out yet, but I think it'd suit her well anyway. She and Amane share a lot in common despite their differences. :D

DECO*27: Poison apple (Pretending you’ve changed, negotiating, you never learn, do you? You’re see-through, your loneliness is so obvious, kinda pathetic.) For someone who she never interacted with when conscious, she likes to think she understood her victim well.

Non-DECO*27: The world's filth (Is this what you call happiness? Let's laugh and scorn at this rotten world.) She isn't coping well with her guilty verdict.

𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚞𝚜: 𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚘

I've finally got his backstory in the works, so he'll have more of a personality from now on. But I don't have many chances to reveal his personality, so I decided to add him to this post. :D

Trial 1: 404: False Image (Sheesh, what stupid lies you choose! Are you trying to make sure of your existence? Just… Try your best to look for it. I wonder if someone will figure out what the true lie is someday.) The prisoners do love lying to him. And the mystery of Milgram hasn't been uncovered yet.

Trial 2: Matryoshka (Ah, I'm about to crack and burst, so I throw away all of my memories. Ah, I want to know, all the way to the bottom.) This song is so chaotic and catchy, perfect for him.

[gogysglasses-archive]

Fucking scorpios with their witchcraft magical superpowers making everyone fall for them

I know nothing about astrology but if george is a scorpio then this statement is true. it truly is witchcraft, how does it he do it????

[beautifulblhell]

Summary: Choosing a wedding dress with Ran

A/N: trying to get this Ran brainrot out of my system but writing this fic didn’t help and now I wanna marry him 😭🤚🏻 still questioning how I started simping for this male edition of Wednesday Addams I-

Tags: fluff, slightly suggestive

WC: 1549

“Ran, which wedding dress do you like?”

You were sitting on the leather corner sofa in the living room with Ran, your back against his chest while his long legs stretched out on either side of you. A fashion magazine featuring wedding dresses rested on your knees, which had been the subject to your intense scrutinising for the past hour.

It was all quiet in the penthouse apartment, save for the occasional rustling of the magazine.

You turned towards him when he didn’t reply. He had a slight furrow between his perfect brows as he stared at his phone screen.

You knew Ran was busy with Bonten matters. After all, being an executive for such a big organisation was no easy matter. Still, the only time when you could talk was when he was back home in the evenings. And you could really use his help right now.

His attention shifted to you when he sensed your gaze on him.

“Any one of them will look good on you,” the corners of his mouth lifted slightly when he looked at you. He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ears.

You let out a deflated sigh and leaned back until your head rested on his shoulders.

“That’s not helping,” you puffed up your cheeks. It’s been the same response you’ve been getting ever since you started looking for your wedding dress a few days ago.

“What isn’t?”

“Your answer,” you replied with a huff.

“You look pretty-”

“-in anything,” you finished for him. “Yes yes I know, you’ve been saying that every time.” You closed your eyes in defeat.

You wanted a dress which both you and Ran will love. After all, it was a once in a lifetime event, but Ran has been less than helpful with his input, leaving you with no idea where to even start looking.

“Well, you do,” you could hear the smile in his voice. Then something warm pressed against your exposed neck.

“Ran! It tickles!” A giggle bubbled up your throat, and you instinctively tried to move away. But his arms were around your waist in an instant, holding you so you couldn’t escape. His warm lips trailed along your exposed neck, your jawline, until they landed a light kiss on your lips.

“Stop distracting me if you aren’t going to help, Ran Haitani, I’m trying to make one of the biggest decisions in my life right now.” You tried to put on a serious expression, but you couldn’t help but nestle closer to him. You never realized how much you missed him until you were touching him.

“Am I now?” He said with a grin, shifting to accommodate you better. “I can come up with an even better distraction.”

You pretended to swat him with the magazine. “Seriously, I can’t choose, Ran. Which one do you think looks good?” You held up the magazine.

Ran only blinked at the pages. He had the same look as most high schoolers had when their physics teachers tried to explain wave particle duality. Then after a moment he tilted his head towards the side. “I thought we were getting a bespoke dress for you. Isn’t the appointment tomorrow?”

“It is and we are, but I thought it would be nice to have some ideas beforehand, hence why I’m asking for your opinion.”

A playful glint entered Ran’s eyes, a look you knew all too well. “Then whichever one is easier to take off.”

“Ran!”

But he was already pulling you onto his lap.

“Then shouldn’t we practice being husband and wife? Since I’ve been working so hard, don’t I deserve a reward, my pretty wife?” His voice had descended into a husky tone. He gazed at you with eyes laced with desire, and your breath caught in your throat. One of his hands rested on the small of your back. The other trailed along your curves, leaving your skin burning in the wake of his touch.

“A husband that won’t help pick out his wife’s wedding dress?” you asked with a raised eyebrow. However, your arms were already looped around his neck, drawing him towards you as you loosened his tie.

“I would rather see you without too many layers,” he whispered those words just before your lips crashed together.

The magazine fell onto the floor. It was soon buried by your discarded clothing, forgotten for the rest of the night.

It wasn’t as if Ran wasn’t interested in marrying you. On the contrary, he couldn’t wait until he could introduce you to everyone as ‘Mrs Haitani’ and watch their faces fall in despair as they realise you were out of their reach. Koko had choked the other day when he estimated how much he would be spending on the wedding, but nothing was ever enough for you in his eyes.

Ran positively adored you. You weren’t just his sun; you were his moon, his stars, lighting up his pitch black world. The adoration he held for you showed in his eyes whenever he looked at you, which would result in Rindou sometimes fake gagging behind his back whenever the younger Haitani brother caught sight of it.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, he would gaze at your sleeping face, wondering why he was dragging you into his blood soaked world, but also knowing that he could never let you go. Not anymore. So his expression would soften and he would pull you closer, pressing a light kiss against your temples, knowing that once dawn broke you were one day closer to being his as much as he was going to be yours.

The staff were all lined up on the street when the black car pulled up in front of the store, and they all bowed when you stepped out. A man in a flamboyant suit stepped forward. You recognised him as the world famous designer who was notorious for not taking custom orders. Somehow, Ran got him to agree to make you your wedding dress.

You weren’t sure whether it was coercion or monetary persuasion that made the designer agree, or a mixture of both. Most likely the latter.

You had asked Ran, but he only shrugged and smiled that smile of his which revealed nothing, and said, “Only the best for my girl,” before distracting you with the guest list.

“Thank you for coming with me,” you turned towards Rindou who was trudging a few paces behind you. With your upcoming wedding and honeymoon, Ran was working extra hours to make up for his upcoming absence, and Rindou had offered to come with you.

The store had been prepared especially for you. Bridal dresses lined the walls of the shop, and several mannequins wearing overflowing white were placed around the room.

“Do you have any idea what kind of dress you would like?” The designer asked as he showed you several pieces.

You glanced helplessly at the white dresses surrounding you, before shaking your head. A part of you wanted Ran to come with you, but you knew you couldn’t ask too much.

The designer nodded his head understandingly. “It can be overwhelming. How about we try on a few so you can get a feel and see if you prefer any style?”

You had just come out of the changing room and were standing in front of the full length mirror when you heard chattering at the entrance.

A voice you would recognise anywhere floated into the room.

“I finished some business earlier than planned and-”

“Ran?!” You whipped your head around.

Ran stood at the entrance, impeccable as always in his suit. But when his eyes found their way to you he instantly froze, his eyes wide.

“Aaaand his brain short circuited. That’s why I told him to come, but he wouldn’t listen,” Rindou heaved a sigh at his brother, as if already expecting his reaction.

Ran slowly crossed the room in a dazed expression. He walked up to where you were. Then all of a sudden Ran was pressing his mouth hard against yours. You parted your lips in surprise, and he slipped his tongue inside. He didn’t let you up until all you were aware of was him; the feeling of his hands pressing against the side of your face, the comforting cologne he wore, and the taste of him.

“Gross,” you vaguely heard Rindou mutter in the background.

“Can’t believe I nearly missed this,” Ran mumbled when he finally pulled back, leaving you panting, surprise and embarrassment coloured your cheeks.

“I-I thought you weren’t interested,” you managed to stammer out.

“I wasn’t, not until I saw you wearing it. God, you look so beautiful,” he cupped your cheeks, and you saw yourself reflecting so clearly in his eyes when he leaned his forehead against yours.

Someone cleared their throat not so subtly. “Ran, don't you still have work?” Rindou called out from the side.

“Rin, I’m counting on you,” Ran didn’t even turn around to look at his brother.

“You own me one, and for god sake keep the PG rating down, will you?” Rindou muttered and left the store.

The only thing was that now it was Ran who couldn’t decide on what kind of wedding dress you should wear.

Masterlist | Support | 2021.10.03

[obscure-imagines]

(*horror genre/smut warning*)

-where do I even start with this dude

-he’s highly intelligent, so boy isn’t going to fall for you easily

-in fact, he will aggressively attempt not to fall for you

-What if you get put in a heart game together or he has to kill you, or maybe you’ll just die- it’s a dangerous world out there

-no, he wouldn’t WANT to like you

-but fuck, every time you’re in the room his eyes are drawn to you

-Trust issue baby

-Opening up to you? not any time soon, that’s for sure :)

-it would take ages for him to even approach you

-he might not, boy has control of himself

-no, talking to him would either be on you to make happen, or accidental

-maybe you somehow end up at a game together

-and you approach him, sticking to his side for most of the game, one taste of you is all it takes

-he can’t just ignore you anymore

-especially since you’re around all the time (The Beach is an odd place, and you’re looking all cute in your beach outfit-)

-he likes to be on his game, 100% of the time

-and being with you is a distraction

-he kind of hates it, but he’s addicted to you too

-the first night you end up cuddling, after a trying game where you weren’t sure if you both made it out alive, Chishiya admits to himself he can’t live without you

-with you asleep, curled up in his arms, he knows he has to make the best of whatever time you both have left

-boy low key sucks at the idea of a relationship though

-thinks of them like a game

-and winning- well, winning is the end goal eh? ;)

-kind of a little nympho tbh

-quickie king

-hates pda, in fact, probably wont even let people know you’re dating, it’s a weakness, it means people can use you against him-

-play with his hair

-he’ll pretend to hate it, but he secretly loves it when your fingers are threading through his strands

-he’s pretty intense

-pretty needy, if he wants something, he’s going to get it: even if it’s your attention, or a kiss

-yeah, baby boy needs some kisses

-and cuddles

-and hugs

-he’ll pretend not to enjoy them as much as he does, but let’s be real, touch starved honey likes being held

-he watches himself fall deeper and deeper in love with you and it sucks because he’s terrified you’ll die/be hurt, but it also pushes him to want to win even more

-keeps you close at all times because you’re the most important thing in the world to him

-you’d be the good angel on his shoulder, and if you’re lucky he’ll listen to you... sometimes, but he’s still a dick head

-it’s kill or be killed, he tries to drill that into your brain

-the type to cup your face and look into your eyes before every game, doesn’t need to TELL YOU he loves you, you can both feel it

-low key, probably will take FOREVER to say ‘i love you’ for the first time, because saying it makes it real

-He almost pays more attention to your visa than his own

-very protective of you

-hates it whenever Niragi is around

-low key keeps note of people who piss him off in regard to you, maybe some guy was rude to you, or tried to dance with you at The Beach, regardless, Chishiya will remember and bide his time to get revenge

-is he ever not planning something?

-boy plans super far in advance, and sometimes, if you’re lucky, he’ll talk with you about all the moving pieces in his mind

-philosophical talks about the game and why you were both chosen etc...

-oddly enough, lots of cuddles, play with his fingers, show him affection

-cute boy brings you little gifs he finds, a flower that reminded him of you, chocolates, etc... 

-he’s actually a pretty great boyfriend because he views everything as a game, like, he wants to be WINNING the boyfriend game fam

-lets get into some fun smutty stuff

-real talk, boy gives me some lazy pillow princess vibes

-but he’s also pretty intense

-I think he’d favour balanced positions

-so spooning sex where he can have his arms around you

-he’ll let you ride it, in fact, loves to watch you ride him

-big watcher boy, loves having something pretty to look at

-mirrors could be fun

-he’s really down for most things

-not hella verbal, can dirty talk but prefers not to

-down for some good old fashioned choking, but won’t ever go too hard on you

-he’s a good switch, that’s my opinion on it

-but any control you have, you have because he’s giving it to you, so don’t forget that

-because all it would take is one sassy remark and he could flip you from behind on top, to being on your back, with your wrists pinned to your chest

-tease boy

-likes to make you shiver

-likes to make you beg for it

-wants you to be whining for him

-lazy, but Chishiya does enjoy power

-home made sex toys anyone? i mean, leave it to this dude to find a vibrator that works during the legit semi apocalypse (or whatever u want to even call the mess that is shadow Tokyo and The Games)

-if you’re super nice, he might let you wear his fun hoodies

-someone, ANYONE, mark this man’s neck up

-low key, as i’ve said, would want to keep your relationship pretty secret, so if you mark up his neck- boy is going to have some explaining to do

-maybe you can bring out the super dom Chishiya

-like... mad Chishiya? are we ready for him? I think not. 

-those collarbones- if you even tease and nip at them a little, man is going to grab your hair roughly, fight me on this

-finding lots of places to secretly hug and talk and kiss

-it’s hard for him sometimes to not stand next to you at meetings, because he wants to hold your hand : (

-soft boy

-get used to the sass master

-he’s.... well, he lies, he gaslights, he’s that kind of dude, but with you he sticks to white lies, catch him telling one and he’ll be impressed

-i’m not going to lie and say this would be sunshine and rainbows

-The Game makes trust difficult, especially because the heart games can be so brutal

-but once you both trust each other, fully, this is a power couple

-Chishiya has that confidence-

-honestly? good luck to all us Chishiya simps tbh

[lady-starbind]

So the Your Boyfriend Fandom seems to be resurfacing?

...or maybe not, but I still wanna say my lil piece before going on with my day: As little to zero of you guys know, I used to be interested in Your Boyfriend. (A Christian, into a EROTIC horror dating sim?! ...Look, Fuboo was promising a SFW version of the game, I was looking forward to that)

Sometimes, a deranged, creepy yandere guy wanting you and only you can be very enticing... BUT that enticement turned into rage when a good Samaritan on this very website pointed out the true nature of Fuboo and her hubby.

But just being told “X person is a groomer and her husband is a rapist” is not enough to get me to fully believe you... but it wasn’t just HEARSAY either, there were like what... a couple of docs? With some very compelling evidence. Reading those docs was enough for me to be like “Screw this crap, I’m not supporting a groomer and her rapist hubby!” ...I went from wanting Peter on my wall, to wanting to burn the pictures of him that I had printed out. That being said, I don’t believe one should support the creator and her crew that works on “Your Boyfriend”. If you want to enjoy Peter and crew, that’s fine I guess... Just remember to separate Artist from art. And since Fuboo isn’t as big time as other gaming companies such as Nintendo, Sega or Cheritz, I highly recommend that you keep your YB stuff more private among yourselves, as displaying your amazing art talent may get other people into the fandom... And honestly? That’s not really a good thing. I have my own fanon version of Peter known as “Seater”, he’s going to be used for a private RP between me and a couple of my friends. (Our Ingening RP to be exact, he’s one of the antagonists!) ...The point is, I’m not going to draw my fanon Peter and post him to my blog here or anything like that, because I don’t want Fuboo to get more exposure and therefore more support. My art talent is NOT for supporting groomers and rapists. ...And please, do not donate to the Patreon of Your Boyfriend or Black Shepherd Games. These shady people do NOT deserve any support whatsoever. Was thinking about posting this potential small tweet on my Twitter, but refrained bc I have baby minors who follow me and I don’t want them to get an interest in the game. By the way, if you’re a minor and you’re reading this PLEASE DO NOT GET INTO YOUR BOYFRIEND. Firstly, it’s highly NSFW. Secondly, the people who make the game are highly shady and dangerous. You’re far better off playing Pokemon, Zelda, Splatoon or heck even Fall Guys! ...Can’t go wrong with good old fashioned Among us either~

(I have made retweets and mentions on my Twitter not to support YB and to spread awareness though.)

Which now I’ll state my second point: I find it very disgusting how there are people who are blindly supporting Fuboo bc they “Want the game to release so they can leap into Peter senpai’s pants UwU” ...There’s actually a whole doc explaining how the Black Shepherd Games server was like this cult, and they were encouraging folks on the server to talk crap about the victim and anyone who dared to stand up for someone speaking out against their rapist. If they did that. they’d get server perks or something to that effect. Now with me just telling you all this, I don’t expect you to blindly believe me. Good on you, BUT: I have a link to a thread on Twitter as to why I believe Melissa and her hubby Jake are such awful people and why they and Black Shepherd Games as a whole should NEVER be trusted. >>> Proof that backs up the claims made in this post. Now... If you still believe that Fuboo and them are innocent after going through all of this proof, please do me a favor and block me. My blog, Ingo Simping and my silly antics are not for your enjoyment. We do NOT allow Fuboo Apologists here!

But: If you just enjoy the content, separating art from artist and adamant about not supporting Fuboo and Black Shepherd Games whatsoever, then your cool. Please feel free to interact with me if you want, as long as you don’t fall into and of my other DNI criteria.

God bless and have a lovely day, and Fuboo and BSG if any of y’all are reading this, just know one thing: You may escape the law, and you may escape punishment for your actions for now... BUT MARK MY WORD, Karma has your name and when she comes to your doorstep with a piping hot plate of justice, y’all WILL NOT ESCAPE.

You guys don’t fool me, I hope you guys rot in prison!

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results). 

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be. 

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children. 

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy 

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim. 

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

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Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do. 

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

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“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point! 

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus. 

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping. 

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex. 

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him. 

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red. 

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!! 

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling. 

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!” 

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out. 

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you. 

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage. 

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her. 

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement. 

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.” 

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos​ - @fairywriter-oracle​ - @tsukishimawh0re​ - @ofstarsanddreams​ - @bbecc-a​ - @annshit​ - @leahh19​ - @letsloveimagines​ - @bellomi-clarke​ - @wineandionysus​ - @guiltydols​ - @onephootinfrontoftheother​ - @liamakorn​ - @thirstyfangirl​ - @lilysdaydreams​ - @pan-ini​ - @mxqicshxp​ - @tanchosanke​ - @yoshinorecommends​ - @flightsandfantasy​ - @liljennyx3​ - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible​ - @sinister-sleep​ - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​ - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit​ - @unstableye​ - @simonsbluee​ - @shinyshimaagain​ - @ppopty​ - @siriuslystupid​ - @crapimahuman​ - @ofthedewthesunlight​ - @mythicalamphitrite​ - @artsyally​ - @corpsesimpp​ - @corpsewhitetee​ - @corpse-husbandsimp​ - @hyp-oh-critical​ - @roses-and-grasses​ - @rhyrhy462​ - @sparklylandflaplawyer​ - @charbkgo​ - @airwaveee​ - @creativedogs​ - @kaitlyn2907​ - @loxbbg​ - @afuckingunicornn​ - @fleurmoon​ - @yeolliedokai​

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[sukirichi]

wine: ingredient 44 + sugar 7 + spice 12 for gojo satoru *slams table* thank you for feeding us kind maam

for sukirichi’s milestone event: 

the meal order : 🍷 + 44 (hate sex au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) + 12 (praising kink) your dinner has been served! also bruh LOL you’re a choso simp this is hilarious spspsps

— who are you to deny him when he only wants to worship you?

gojo satoru x fem! reader

contents/warnings: nsfw, slight angst, reader is hot girl shit, gojo long schlong, hate sex, car sex, spanking, riding gojo, slight angst, praising kink taken to a DIFFERENT LEVEL (i want to make people question the extent of their praising kink), body marking, rough sex lol it’s always rough in my stories, unedited

Your friends pushed you out of the club, all of you laughing, hands clutched around your waists as loud, drunken giggles fill in the night air. It was a wild night; your friends invited you to the club to take your mind off your stupid boyfriend. You thought you’d end up moping around, too much of a buzzkill to ever let loose because it wasn’t that easy to stop thinking about him, but even you were surprised when you started grinding with people on the dance floor just three drinks later.

The gals were more than delighted to see you enjoying your night, only dragging you out the club when you nearly shoved your tongue down another man’s throat.

Scratch that – your friends called you to hang out because you lied about having a shitty day at work. You’ve had your fair share of shitty days, but you were one of the most prominent lawyers in your firm, no one dared gave you a bad day. Your subordinates knew that if they even looked your way without your permission, you wouldn’t hesitate to dump paperwork on them, or assign them to the nastiest cases just to piss them off.

Yeah, you were sort of a bitch, but you didn’t care.

It took a lot to get where you were now. It wasn’t easy to be a woman in a male-dominated workplace and you were forced to strip your softness off, replacing it with hard armor and sharp tongue concealed under bold red lips, a tight pencil skirt that accentuated your curves, and a pair of black suede pumps.

You deserved all your success. You were smart, stunning, confident, powerful – so then why did you feel like shit around your shitty boyfriend?

The answer was loud and clear. It bothered you to no end that he wanted to keep your relationship a secret because his family was too different from yours, coming up with a shitty excuse that you were just “too different.” He never bothered explaining, and every time you confronted him about, he’d only wave his hand, distract you with those delicious and soft lips of his until you forget it over and over again.

You were okay with it at first. It wasn’t a really serious relationship; you only started dating him because you saw yourself a lot in him – confident, self-assured, maybe even a little cocky – plus, he was extremely attractive.

But the longer you spent time with him, you were beginning to fall in love.

Yes, you, the ice princess of one of the most respected law firms all over the city was beginning to soften up at a certain blue-eyed man who had magical hands.

But tonight – tonight you’d forget about him.

Your stomach was heavy with expensive liquor and you were nearly staggering on your knees, the only thing preventing you from falling were your more sober friends. The others were holding you close to keep you upright, while one of your friends moved to a quieter part of the block to call an Uber for you. Your friends were all happily married, some with children, so they couldn’t really stay out too late at night and chaperone you all the way back home.

You were well-aware you were being a bother, but fuck, couldn’t you lean on someone for just once? Sighing, you leaned closer to your warm friend, mumbling something about wanting to forget about everything you’ve been through.

“There, there,” she patted your head comfortingly, “You’ll be fine, babe, you’re a strong woman. I know you’ll get through this.”

“But I hate it,” you drunkenly admitted, lips trembling the more you thought about him, every stupid little thing about him – his soft white hair, those pretty blue eyes he always hid under shades even at night, his large, calloused hands that always felt so rough when keeping your legs open for him and you couldn’t even start talking about his cock, he was just so blessed and perfect in every little thing that you hated it. You hated him. “I don’t like this feeling,” you sniffled, “I feel like I’m being looked down on, that I’m being pushed to the side. I feel unimportant, like I’m not good enough.”

“Who said you aren’t?”

You froze in your friend’s arms, eyes meeting with those blue ones you could never get enough of. As if noticing your silence, your friend immediately covers you with her arm, glaring at your boyfriend. “Do we know you or something?”

“No,” Satoru replies coolly, brows furrowed in the state you were in. You turned away from him with a scoff, arms crossed on your chest. Why did he have to be here out of all places? Wasn’t he busy with work or whatever family shit he apparently couldn’t tell you about even though you’ve both been dating for a year and a half now? He just wasn’t giving you a break, and the hairs on your arm stood up when he said, “Not that you have to, but may I please drive Y/N home?”

“She’s not going anywhere—”

“She’s a friend of mine,” he insisted, turning to you with a pleading look in his eyes. You almost melted. Almost. “I need to talk to her about something.”

You rolled your eyes and stepped forward, your friend’s arm latching onto yours. You could tell she was worried from the way her gaze darted back and forth between you two. Satoru was, after all, clearly uninvited, and he didn’t seem like your type either. You always insisted you preferred refined man, men like his friend Nanami Kento, but alas, you were stuck dating this one instead.

“It’s fine,” you told her with a fake smile, “I’ll call you later when I get home.”

You never got to call her – simply because you didn’t make it home. The moment Satoru closed the car doors behind you, you both got into a heated argument. Satoru hated silences and always made sure the car was filled with music, but this time, he didn’t notice there weren’t any songs when you opened your mouth.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the anger and pent-up tension of not being able to hold him and kiss him in public like normal couples did, in addition to the fact Satoru never explained why he insisted on keeping you a secret – whatever it was, you just snapped.

“I don’t even understand why I’m still dating you!” you huffed, legs crossed on top of the other as you gazed out the window. Lips trembling, you tried so hard to not cry, especially not in front of the man who was breaking your heart. “This is hardly a relationship when I’m not free to call or text you as you please, when I can’t go out with you on dates and we’re always hanging in my apartment. I’m your girlfriend, Satoru, we’ve been together for a long time but I honestly don’t even feel like it. What the hell are we dating for then?”

Satoru clenched his teeth, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. “How many times do I have to tell you that I love you,” he said coolly, acting unbothered and unaffected as ever, but the clench in his jaw said otherwise. “If that’s not enough—”

“Of course it’s not enough!”

“I’m trying here too, okay?” Satoru slammed on the brakes and parked on a desolated spot, hands running through his hair while he breathed heavily. Once he’d calmed down, he shook his head, refusing to look you in the eye like a man. “I’m trying my best. It’s just hard. It isn’t as easy as it looks.”

“What isn’t easy as it looks? Dating me? Letting the whole world know I’m yours?” when Satoru didn’t respond, you scoffed, patience running low and thin. “You’re pathetic, Satoru. Dating you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and I thought I was a smart woman.”

With a shake of your head, you slung your purse over your shoulder and reached for the car door. You were about to leave when Satoru suddenly pulled you towards him, his lips slamming into yours.  Like always, you fell into his trap, into the blissful pleasure that was his lips and his hands, and you hated it, hated him, hated him so fucking much because you were so tired of his entire existence.

You wanted to let him know he was insufferable.

You wanted him to feel the pain and misery he put you through.

“I fucking hate you,” you snarled as Satoru kept fucking into you, the entire car windows fogged and the vehicle shaking. “I wish I never met you, you asshole,” Satoru, displeased, only buries himself deeper into you, as if they would erase his mistakes and shortcomings.

Satoru’s large hands snake to your waist and onto your breasts, expertly tweaking them between his fingers. Your head fell back to the crook of his shoulder, your back pressed against his hard chest as Satoru trapped you in his strong arms, impaling you on his cock over and over again. “You’re lying,” he whispered into your neck, tongue and teeth playfully sucking at the tender flesh. His grip on your hip was bruising and possessive, and your breasts bounced fervently at how he snapped his hips upwards to feel your walls coat him and hug him tightly and warmly. “Why would you hate me, sweet girl? Don’t I always make you feel good? Don’t I remind you enough that you’re the best fucking thing ever?”

You didn’t respond right away, your breath taken away with how you could never get enough of this, of him. He was right no matter how much you denied it. Despite being terrible in everything else, Satoru knew and respected you, even admired your dominance and intelligence when other men were intimidated by it.

No, he worshipped you. He made you feel like you were a divine goddess when he tugged at your hair to tilt your cheek to him, his tongue slithering to your lips to taste himself on his tongue from when you previously busted his nut with just your mouth.

Lipsticks smeared on his cheeks and crescent moons on his pale thigh from your nails, Satoru looked wonderful beneath you like this.

He was beautiful, so damn beautiful, but it didn’t change the fact he’d put you through hell these past few weeks. 

No, it wasn’t just the past few weeks. Things were always complicated with him. He was perfect in everything else but when it came to you, he made it a mission to hide you and your relationship, changing your contact name to a totally random one “just in case.”

Your mind was confuzzled and you felt like you were on the urge of breaking apart from both his ministrations and his confusing treatment over you. Before you knew it, you were kissing him back fervently with the intensity of your hatred over this man.

Your hand reached his to guide it to rub at your clit, and Satoru, eager to make you feel good as always, happily obliged. Satoru kept bouncing you on his cock until you were too overwhelmed to speak, crying and mumbling incomprehensible words. 

Him, only him, would ever have the ability to let the sharp-tongued and intelligent woman who never bat an eye in court lose her wide vocabulary, falling apart in his arms while his long length abused your puffy lips.

“You made me feel like shit,” you finally admitted, tugging at his hair until Satoru is lowly groaning at the slight sting. But did you care? Of course you didn’t. You wanted to hurt him too.

“How so, sweet girl?”

“I can never have you the way I want,” you answered through gritted teeth, moaning out when Satoru suddenly thrusted too deep, hitting your most sensitive spot that had you quivering in his hold. “You don’t—” you gasped, “You don’t understand what I feel, how you make me feel like I’m never good enough for you. That’s the reason why you don’t want anyone else knowing, right? ‘Cause I’m not good enough for you, never gonna be good—”

Satoru didn’t let you finish your words, shutting you up with his cock instead. The vehicle shook uncontrollably with your mating sessions, and Satoru silences you by pulling at your leg to press it on his chest instead.

The sudden switch in positions had your muscles tensing and stretching, adding only to both your pleasures with the new thrown in factor of slight pain. You felt Satoru kiss your neck down to your shoulders, scraping his canines until you were absolutely lost. You gave in, you gave up, head lolling back next to his loving lips that murmured sweet nothings.

“Not true, sweet girl,” he reminded you, flattening you on his cock and making you roll your hips while you slid up and down his pole sensually. Unlike the previous pace, the slow sensation of your pussy hugging his cock with your arousal letting him slide in easily allowed you to feel every part of him, almost mind-wrecking at how good he’s able to make you feel even after such a long time of having him already.

“You’re the sexiest and most intelligent woman I’ve ever met, the best, the absolute blessing of my life, and I just want to protect you, sweet girl. You’re too precious for me to lose,” Satoru kept mumbling over and over again.

You could no longer process his words functionally, not when he’s slamming you down his length like that and burying himself in you as if he didn’t want to be anywhere else.

Satoru’s hands were still curious, appreciative and gentle as he runs his hands, dipping into all your curves and pressing into your most sensitive spots the way you liked it.

“You’re always so good for me so no, sweet girl, never gonna let you go, not when you’re so perfect for me,” Satoru eased your worries – temporarily – with his words, and you’d believe his lie, you’d fall into the same mistakes over and over again because you were just that weak and powerless when it came to him. “You’re made just for me, sweet girl, you’re the prettiest and your pussy is the prettiest – I worship you, I adore you. You’re so divine.”

You blamed it all on your ego.

He praised you so well, made you feel so good and always placed you on top of the world when he’s inside you like this. Even if you knew he’d knock you down the pedestal just hours later, you opened your doors for him all over again.

Satoru knew this too, because he rammed inside your walls and ruined everything that you held firm beliefs in, his large hands smacking your ass to urge you to bounce on him like you weren’t made for any other purpose than to be the woman he adored.

You lied to yourself – you always did – but did you care? So what if you couldn’t be the one he really loved? What did it all matter when you were the one he worshipped?

For the sake of the praise and the compliments, you’d let him fuck you and play with your heart over and over again. It was a toxic routine you’d never get tired of, and you no longer complained, forgetting about everything he’d done and every heartbreak he caused you because he was there, whispering into your ears how good you made him feel and how you were the only one made to take him, and you didn’t care. Not anymore – not when you were worshipped.

[bajablastwrites]

Why are you like this?

Saiki x reader

Reader’s gender isn’t specified

Authors Note: I’m simping for lady d and I’m fixated on saiki. So now we have this thing I wrote at like 4am. Not spellchecked or anything, again I wrote it at 4am

—————————————————————————————

So we all know saiki plays shitty video games because they’re so ass that no one plays them so he doesn’t get spoilers.

But that’s where you come in. His childhood best friend, with a copy of Resident Evil Village.

You decided to invite saiki over to your house and have him play a game that isn’t complete dog shit for once in his life.

Saiki’s most likely already been spoiled on how it ends, so you have to convince him to just play it anyways since it’s the journey that counts right? There’s no other reasons…..no other reasons at all.

Saiki has a bit of a soft spot for you so as much as he complains about how much of an annoyance and inconvenience you are to him, he’ll still do whatever it is you asked of him. This was no exception, with a simple “You’re gonna play this fucking game, and you’re gonna like it!” He picked up your PS4 controller and started the game.

Depending if you also have powers or not he’ll either know you’re a massive simp for the characters or be completely clueless about it until they’re on screen.

But I’m writing this shit so you don’t have any powers, so he knows you’re already simping up a storm with how loud your thoughts are starting to get as the plot moves on for them to make an appearance.

Can’t say saiki is too surprised— he’s actually kinda amused by this since he’s never really seen you like this before. But he’s also slightly unnerved because it reminds him of Teruhashi’s simps at school.

Since you started a new game for Saiki you already know when your favorite character is going to be on screen, Saiki knows you’ve simped for this character before the game even came out. He thought you got it out of your system, but oh boy he was dead wrong. (And lets say you favorite character is Lady D, I don’t need to explain why— everyone loves her)

As soon as she made an appearance saiki watched you as you made eyes at Lady D. On one hand he’s a bit entertained by your babbling, and racing thoughts but on the other hand he didn’t think you’d be simping even harder for her. So he pauses the game and tells you to calm the fuck down— you don’t but it was worth a try.

He didn’t think it was possible to simp this hard, not even Teruhashi’s fanboys can beat the level of simpary you’re on when it comes to Lady D. He’s actually kinda impressed by that actually.

Gameplay went smoothly, with him occasionally telling you to calm down. He’s totally not salty that a fictional character gets such a big reaction out of you, your thoughts are just so loud that he can’t focus that’s all.

Conversation with saiki went something like this: “I simped for Lady D as a joke when the game wasn’t even out yet, but I don’t think It’s a joke anymore.” “You don’t say.”

He’ll never admit the burning feeling in his gut that’s been getting worst as he progressed. He can literally do everything she can do— minus the whole turning into a dragon part but other than that he can do it all and more! So why aren’t you like that with him! No he’s not jealous or salty or anything of that sort— he just doesn’t get why you’re so attached to that she-beast instead of an all seeing powerful psychic that’s right next to you.

Man’s has never been so happy to have a boss fight in his life. Basically did a speedrun on her boss fight because he was jealous. He’ll never admit it out loud and he’s taking that to his grave.

He’s never been so happy to visit The Duke and sell shit to him in his life— until he sold the Lady D crystal and heard you agree with The Duke’s comment and then remembered why he doesn’t like her-.

He pretty much milked Donna’s section with the fetus as a way of getting back at you. He enjoyed you clinging to him and begging him to get in the elevator and enjoyed the moment even more when it the elevator doors were slowly closing as the fetus was SO close to making it into the elevator. He even made a comment about going back to the recent save he made just to replay that part. That damn sadist.

Moreau reminded him of Nendo so he tried to finish his section as fast as he could so he could move on to the next lord.

If you’re a Heisenberg simp as well you bet your ass Saiki got salty about that as well. He didn’t understand, he can lift any object with telekinesis and it doesn’t have to be made of metal. But you never gush about him like that, what gives >:(!

He’ll admit that he did enjoy the game despite having the ending spoiled and you simping for pretty much all of the characters. He’ll never admit to anyone— not even to himself that he wishes you’d simp for him even a lil. Preferably in private as to not draw attention.

Which is exactly what you do, as a joke— it’s a joke I promise, he’s your best friend so of course you’ll mess with him like that.

He acts annoyed and disgusted with you but he loves it. Especially because he knows that it won’t be a joke anymore— in the near future that is ;)

[thefanficmonster]

Chaos Magnet

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None :)

Genre: FLUFF, HUMOR, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When Y/N get invited onto a stream with the gang by Jack (Sean) she’s not sure what to expect but it’s safe to say that such chaos is not something she could’ve ever imagined.

Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it really had me laughing and still had me be awe-struck by the adorableness of the idea. Sorry it’s been such a long time since you put in the request but I still hope you come across the fic and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Alright people, silence in the call for a moment!“ Jack calls out when the lobby’s counter has finally reached up to nine, leaving room for one more person who is yet to join, but apparently he doesn’t care much that he’ll probably have to repeat himself when the tenth person enters the call and lobby.

“Jack, you should know by now, the day there’s silence in this call is when some supernatural force murders all ten of our mics. It just won’t happen, deal with it.“ Charlie, who was having an ‘intense’ discussion with Toast up until Jack’s interruption, says sarcastically, chuckling ever so slightly, enough for it to be contagious and make me crack a smile as well.

“There won’t be silence, I’ll be talking. If only the rest of you would LET ME.“ Jack replies just as sarcastically, getting Charlie to let out an actual fit of laughter. When his chuckling subsides along with the rest of the chatter in the call, Jack finally gets to have the speech he mentioned, “Right, ok so here’s the deal folks: today we have a guest addition to the stream, curtesy of mine because I’m obsessed with her channel. As you might or might not have noticed, there’s one person missing from the lobby but she’s gonna be joining us any minute now. As I said, I’m a huge fan so you better not embarrass me or I swear I’m gonna kill you first when I get to be an impostor.”

I don’t know what the others are thinking - probably something similar as what I’m thinking though: Noted, embarrass Jack to the best of your ability. Trust me, getting him flustered in front of his YouTube idol is well worth the death in Among Us he’s threatening us with.

“Also keep in mind that she’s of a different kind, not of our breed if you will - she’s an ASMR YouTuber. Not those who eat in the mic just because they think it’d be pleasant for people to hear.“ Jack goes on to explain, the way he’s described this girl’s craft is quite intriguing, especially when you consider how confidently Jack expressed his distaste with ASMR in the past. He’s always claimed not to be a fan but here we are, I guess people really do change.

“Thank you for making it seem like I do more than just cut up soaps, Jack. I really appreciate it but don’t bump the bar up that high, people will be disappointed when they actually visit my channel.“ An unfamiliar voice appears in the call out of nowhere. Though, unfamiliar is not the adjective I should focus on when describing this girl’s voice. I’ll list a few more but even they won’t do it justice: pleasant, awing, mesmerizing, unbelievable, out-of-this-world...I really could keep going.

“Oh come on, Y/N, you don’t just cut up soap. You turn them into bath bombs too!“ Jack laughs, earning him a playful scoff from the newcomer. “Oh yeah, almost forgot - Everyone, this is Y/N, our ASMR artist.“

“Please, some ‘artist’ I am. The people in my comment section would disagree with that description.“ She giggles after kindly responding to each and every greeting the gang sends her way, myself included. “The word I’ve seen people use most when describing my channel is ‘cringey’ so....yeah.“ She laughs, a genuine laugh instead of the bitter one I was expecting to follow such words.

“That seems to be the cool kids’ favorite word, don’t dwell too much on it.“ Rae tells her reassuringly, “What’s important is what word would you use to describe your channel?“

Y/N hums, sounding as though she’s fallen in thought but that’s only one brief moment before she answers. Or begins to, at least, “Well, if I were to describe my channel with one word it’d be....BEEFY!”

That one out-of-context word, screamed out by such an angelic voice has me breaking down with overwhelming laughter collapsing all my ability to hold back.

“Out of all the words, you’d choose beefy?“ I somehow manage to ask between fits of laughter that render me breathless.

“She’s a vegetarian, I think, I don’t know why she’d choose that word.“ Jack too is laughing his butt off but has a significantly better grip on it, “Y/N, care to explain your peculiar choice?“

There’s a lot of shuffling and random noise on Y/N’s end before her reply finally comes, accompanied by a weak meow, “Sorry guys, that was a classic cat of Mr. Beef Stronganoff seeking attention by being chaotic.” She says through laughter, her words followed by another meow which was a lot more clear, seemingly closer to the mic, “He took down my mic, and he seems like he wants to do it again....BEEFY NO!”

For some reason, even with that explanation in mind, I can’t keep myself from laughing. Come to think of it, I think the explanation only makes it funnier.

“Ugh, darn it! I saved my mic but he ran across my keyboard and turned my webcam off how do I turn it back on?“ Her voice dies down for a few secs before it reemerges from her end, “Ok nevermind I got it. Now I can answer...what was the question again?“

Recovering from his laughing fit, Jack manages to repeat the question, “What word would you use to describe your channel?”

“Oh that! Right, ok. Um, I’d call it aesthetically pleasing and BEEFY NOT THE ROUTER CABLE YOU DUMMIE!“

She’s insane. Or her cat’s insane. I can’t tell. Maybe both. Either way, I can’t help but feel like I’ve found a soulmate in this literal stranger. It’s safe to say us chaos magnets like her and I, we don’t only attract chaos, but also chaotic individuals. I’m so glad she magnetized me to herself. Or was it the other way around? We may never know - mystery is in the nature of us chaos magnets, you know.

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[whiteqnn]

PURE [2] - Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader

Pairing: Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader

A/N:  443 notes?! THIS IS INSANE! Thank you guys so much for all the love under the first part of this, I was so shocked to see how many people enjoyed this story! I hope this one will be just as fun for you as the first one ^^

part 1

part 3 

part 4 

part 5

PURE [2]

Corpse stared at the red screen with the word IMPOSTOR written in the middle, his eyes widened, a small smile tugging at his lips. 

“No way” he murmured into his microphone, no longer holding himself from breaking into laughter. “Do you guys see this? I wish I could see Y/N’s reaction.”

It took his audience just a second to respond, his chat being flooded with lots of comments about the said girl. 

“SHES SHOOK” he managed to read one from the hundreds of comments, once again bursting into laughter. “Yeah, I can imagine.”

He decided to follow Lily for a while to make himself less suspicious. He probably didn’t need to do that this time, since the others usually suspected him when he was innocent. Ironically, each time he was the impostor, they seemed completely blind to every murder he committed. 

They were both doing their tasks in O2 when the first body was reported. 

“Woah, Y/N is fast” he mumbled, before unmuting himself. 

“Okay,” Lily began speaking first “Corpse is 100% innocent, we were together this whole round, doing our tasks in O2. That’s all I have.”

“Yeah I saw you guys in there,” Felix said. “Where’s the body Sykkuno?”

“Um, so first of all I can also vouch for Dave and Y/N, we were hanging out all this time. So in the beginning, we were all in the upper engine, protecting each other like good friends that we are, and then we headed towards the medbay. And that’s where it gets interesting because I’m pretty sure I saw Poki leave medbay and run to the cafeteria.”

“You really think I would kill my best friend in the first round?”

“Yeah well, some people do” Sean scoffed, clearly referring to the last game when he was murdered by Felix. “Besides, I saw you guys when I was leaving Security so it looks like you were with her the entire round.”

“Wha- Okay, let me defend myself. I would never kill her if I was the impostor, which I’m not because she’d literally come barging into my room to murder me. She’d kill me for killing her first.”

Toast, who seemingly still held grudge against Corpse’s fellow impostor, decided to call Y/N out “Y’know, we all played with Rae before, so we all know how furious she gets after being killed first... but there’s one person who doesn’t know that.”

“Y/N/N?” Sean’s voice blared through their headphones “As much as I know how hard it would be for her to make the first kill, I can actually see that happening.”

“What?! Sykkuno vouched for me literally seconds ago, where the heck did you get that from Toast?” she asked in utter shock. Corpse glanced at his chat and leaned towards his mic, making sure that he was muted in the game.

“Y’know guys, if I didn’t know she’s the impostor, I’d believe in her every word. I mean, she’s so innocent, just listen to her.” he said with a smile, not expecting in the slightest how his audience will react. 

“Aww, he goes soft for her ^^” 

“The duo we need but don’t deserve”

“Y/N FOR THE BRIDE”

“What?” he almost stuttered, quickly going through the growing number of such comments. “I mean-”

“Ooh, someone’s getting angry. Where the heck? That’s aggressive, Y/N” Felix’s amused voice brought him back to reality, and even though Corpse didn’t use a webcam, he still tried to hide his pink-tinted cheeks in the material of his hoodie.

“It was not me! I swear! I was doing my tasks all this time, making sure that no one murders Sykkuno or Dave!” 

“You’re pretty defensive for someone who claims to be innocent,” Toast said with a smirk hiding in his voice. 

“Give her a break guys, she was literally with us all this time. I’m sure we would’ve noticed if she killed somebody” Dave stood up for her, but it seemed like all the attention was directed from Poki to Y/N. 

“Well maybe the other impostor is either you or Sykkuno and you’re just trying to clear each other?”

“Um, if there were two impostors among the three of us, the third person would have to be a crewmate. I mean, it would be impossible for them to kill somebody without a crewmate seeing it.” Sykkuno pointed out, much to Corpses’ relief. 

“I knew Sykkuno would vouch for her” he told his chat, before unmuting himself to defend Y/N as well “Haven’t we already established that Poki is sus as well? She was last seen near the body and has no alibi.” 

“I didn’t do it. The only person that could vouch for me is dead, we were with each other the entire round. I leave her for a few seconds and somebody kills her, but it wasn’t me.” 

“I don’t think she’s lying guys, I mean, if she killed Rae she’d probably be dead already” Felix chuckled “Let’s just skip this round, we don’t have enough evidence.”

“Alright, but Y/N,” Toast said, as everyone pressed the skip button “I have my eyes on you.”

Corpse could hear her sigh before everyone muted their mics. 

“We’ve gotta get rid of Toast guys, he’s too suspicious. I don’t want him accusing my partner in crime, even though he’s right” he chuckled under his breath, following Toast’s character into Admin. “Alright, Felix is with us as well, good. If I just pretend I’m doing card swipe, they’re gonna both vouch for me since everyone knows I’m great at this task.” he shook his head with a deep laugh escaping his throat. 

He could see the other two astronauts running around admin, before they both decided to leave, which gave Corpse a perfect opportunity to frame Toast. He killed the lights and chased his victim who, much to his joy, was now completely alone in comms. 

“Hi, Felix. Bye, Felix.” Corpse snapped his neck before speeding out of the room and venting into Navigation.

That’s when someone fixed the lights. And Corpse jumped out of the vent, only to come face to face with none other than Toast. 

“SHIT” he laughed in panic, seeing that he couldn’t use the kill function yet. “Shit, he must’ve seen me.”

And indeed, it took Toast just a split of second to run out of the room and speed towards the emergency button, Corpse hot on his tail, even though he knew he wouldn’t avoid getting ejected. 

“I’m busted guys, there’s no way they’re gonna believe me” he told his audience, watching as Toast’s character approached the button. However, Corpse wasn’t sure if he was just seeing things, but he thought that he saw an outline of another character appear out of nowhere just mere seconds before Toast called the meeting...

“YES” he almost screamed, at the same time laughing hysterically, when he saw the red cross decorating Toast’s name. 

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!” Sean yelled, similarly to every other player that remained alive. “HOW DID THAT HAPPENED?!”

“Oh my God.”

“But- I don’t get it. What just happened?” Y/N’s soft voice sounded out, making Corpse laugh even more. 

“Someone killed Toast the moment he called the meeting.” Sykkuno explained, barely holding himself from laughing.

“Is that even possible?” she asked confused, her voice sounding so innocent and sweet that the other impostor couldn’t stop himself from grinning.

“Oh my god, she’s just- I can’t.” he chuckled deeply “She’s too precious guys, I swear I’m gonna do everything to keep her alive.”

“Yeah, that’s some big brain move. And since Toast is dead, there’s only one person with balls who could do it” Sean said, clearly very sure of his next words.

“CORPSE!” Lily chirped into her microphone, her voice soon being followed by others who eagerly agreed with her. 

“Okay, I admit I saw them in admin where I was doing the card swipe, but then they both left and I haven’t seen them anymore.”

“Were you in admin this whole time?” Poki asked. 

“Um- yeah, pretty much. I tried to beat my own record in failing a card swipe.” he replied, making everyone laugh. He thought of it as a good cover, unless someone entered the admin after he left... 

“Sykkuno where are you?” Poki directed her next question to the lime astronaut.

“Why am I accused again?” he asked confused “I was with Sean in medbay, I think Y/N joined us for a moment to do the scan, then she left, and then Toast called the meeting.”

“So maybe it’s her?” Dave commented “I mean, medbay is right next to the cafeteria, so she had quite an easy access to the emergency button.”

“Yeah, that would actually make sense” Lily added.

“Oh no, they’re gonna vote her off...” Corpse mumbled under his breath, deciding that he had to intervene. She just saved his ass, he couldn’t possibly just watch her get ejected because of that. 

“Guys, I didn’t even know it was possible to kill someone this way. Trust me, I played only a few times and Jack made sure not to reveal any of his big brain moves.” she scoffed at the last part, making Jack let out a loud laugh.

“How can we be sure you’re not just acting all innocent? I mean, you exposed Felix last game, being one of the last people to stay alive.”

“Y/N was with me when Toast called the meeting, she is innocent” Corpse decided to finally speak up. The silence settled among other players. “She found me in admin and made sure nobody killed me when I failed the fucking card swipe.”

“Why are you saying this just now, Corpse?”

“Cause he’s fallen for her god damn trap! I told you!” Sean argued.

“What trap?” Y/N asked confused.

“I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s like listening to an angel” Corpse said, before he could stop himself. Everyone on the call went wild, just like his chat did... He didn’t know why he said that, it just slipped before he really thought about it.

“Corpse, you do realize you’re simping only makes you even more suspicious?” Poki asked with a laugh, and Corpse felt the blush rising up his cheeks. Even more, when Y/N completely ignored this comment, deciding to suddenly stay quiet...

Did he make her uncomfortable with such comments?

“Seriously though, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t her. We watched each other’s back, so I’m also clean.” 

“As much as I hate to do it, I have to agree with Corpse on this one” Sean suddenly said. “That she’s innocent, I mean. I’m sure Corpse just follows her around like a lost puppy and I didn’t see the two of them, but I doubt Y/N knew it’s possible to kill somebody like that. No offense kiddo.”

“See? Guys, it wasn’t me!” she exclaimed. 

“Wait, why do you hate to agree with me?” Corpse asked in confusion.

“CAUSE YOU’RE KINDA SUS CORPSE” 

“What? I just told you my alibi, weren’t you listening Jack?”

“We have twenty seconds left” Lily reminded, cause everyone seemed to forget about the voting time. “We don’t skip at 7, right?”

“Alright, I’m voting Corpse, I still think he’s sus even though I agreed with him.” Sean announced, much to Y/N’s dismay. She quickly objected, trying to defend her fellow impostor:

“It’s NOT him, I watched him fail that dang card swipe!”

“DANG?! NO NEED TO BE SO OFFENSIVE YOUNG LADY” 

“I’m also voting Corpse, he must be one of them.” Lily agreed with Jack.

“Sykkuno, I hope you’re not doing what I think you’re doing” Y/N asked the lime astronaut, who was silent for the past few minutes.

“I um- I don’t know, they kinda have a point Y/N...”

“Sykkuno, listen to me.” she lowered her voice, trying to convince him “Corpse is not the impostor. You know you can trust me, right?”

“...”

“SYKKUNO GOD DAMN IT, DON’T LISTEN TO HER!”

“Sorry guys...”

Corpse burst out laughing, seeing that out of seven remaining players, five of them decided to skip. 

“She’s too good” he chuckled, quickly running up Y/N’s character when they started the next round. He circled her white astronaut, and she seemed to get his message because she eagerly followed him into Electrical to fake the tasks and wait for someone to show up. 

Soon enough two figures waltzed into the room, only to be simultaneously decapitated by the two impostors, who then swiftly vented into medbay and locked the door to their crime scene. 

“That was smooth” Corpse smiled, happily running around Y/N’s character. “I love being impostors with Y/N, it’s so much fun. The best thing is that no one besides Toast really suspects her of doing something wrong.”

Corpse figured Y/N sabotaged the oxygen because the next thing he saw was Lily running past medbay to stop it from depleting. 

“Ladies first, Y/N” he mumbled, and even though she couldn’t hear him, her small character sped up and left the medbay, chasing after Lily. He waited a few seconds, before bursting out laughing.

Victory. 

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Sean yelled in shock “Y/N?! EXPLAIN YOURSELF RIGHT NOW”

“Y/N HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!”

“That was... I would never guess it was you!” 

“I’m sorry guys, I really didn’t want to kill any of you” she laughed apologetically, but Corpse could sense she was smiling “I just had no other choice...”

“Yeah, I’m sure you killed us by accident” Toast’s voice blared out, followed by loud laughter.

“What was that again? I didn’t even know you could kill someone this way?” Felix mocked in a high pitched voice, making them laugh hysterically. Corpse also found himself unable to catch a breath between his giggles.

“I told you guys they’d fuck us up.” Rae spoke up “But I was actually glad Y/N killed me first, watching her kill Toast was so much fun.”

“Ha ha, thanks, Rae!” Toast exclaimed ironically.

“Y/N and Corpse are just complete serial killers, I don’t know how else to comment that” Felix chuckled. 

“Well...” Corpse mumbled, unmuting his microphone “I can’t disagree. She’s a perfect partner in crime.”

“NOT AGAIN WITH SIMPING CORPSE” he heard Sean’s response, and once again felt awkward when his all his friends laughed at him, and Y/N remained quiet. 

That was, however, until her soft voice effectively quietened everyone. 

“It was.. an honor to murder my friends with you.” 

Corpse never thought his face could hurt from smiling so much...

“Alright, who’s up for another game?” Felix asked after a few moments, and received a chorus of me’s from almost everyone. 

“Unfortunately I have to go now, but it was so fun playing with you guys!” Y/N said, making everyone (Corpse included) object rather loudly:

“One more round, please? I want to see you kill someone again!”

“C’mon kid, what else do you have to do?”

“Stay with us Y/N, I need someone to protect me!” 

“I’m sorry but I’m really tired. I’m sure I’d just fall asleep on my desk and Toast would come up behind my back to murder me.”

“Well, that was actually my plan...” the man in question replied with a chuckle.

“You sure you don’t wanna stay?” Corpse finally asked “Killing won’t be the same without you...”

“I know, and I’m sorry... But I was working the whole day and my eyes just hurt and I feel like I’m gonna faint” she replied. 

“Alright, but just so you know, we’re playing again later this week, and I better see you entering the lobby on time” Felix said, trying to sound threatening, but failing at it. Y/N giggled to herself, the sound making Corpse smile almost unknowingly. 

“I wouldn’t dare to miss a chance to murder my new friends!” 

“Oh my god, she’s too adorable!” 

Everyone said their goodbyes and soon Y/N left the call, her small astronaut disappearing from the lobby, much to Corpse’s disappointment. He wished she’d stay a little longer, playing with her was something he found incredibly fun and quite relaxing if he was completely honest. Or maybe aside from playing itself, listening to her voice was what kept bringing a smile to his face every time she spoke up. 

“Guys, I think I’m also gonna call it a day, it was really fun.”

“What? It’s not even been over an hour!” Rae protested. 

“Yeah, I um.. I know but-”

“Don’t push him guys, he can’t play without his partner in crime” Toast’s teasing voice made everyone burst out laughing, and Corpse just shook his head, glad that nobody could see how red his face became.

“Fuck you guys, okay?” he chuckled into the mic, before finally saying his goodbyes and leaving as well. He thanked his viewers for watching and promised to stay longer next time, before closing the discord. 

He sat for a moment in his chair, staring at the black screen, a smile slowly widening on his lips. It was one of the best games he had ever played in Among Us, and he couldn’t wait to be Impostor with Y/N again. 

“Perfect partner in crime... I’m such an idiot” he mumbled under his breath and felt himself blush, shaking his head at how awkward that must’ve sounded. He pulled his phone out and checked his Twitter, only for his eyes to widen once he saw the top trending hashtags. 

#Y/NxCorpse

#Y/NfortheBride

#PerfectPartnerInCrime

“Oh my God...” Corpse yelped, covering his eyes with his hand as if it would make all those tweets disappear. “Why am I the way I am?” 

He considered texting her, trying to maybe make things less awkward than they already were, but decided against it. He feared he’d make even more of an idiot out of himself... 

Convinced that all those comments about simping and now those hashtags made her uncomfortable, it didn’t even cross his mind that Y/N might be looking at them at the exact same moment, with adorable blush tinting her cheeks, and her lips turning into a small, shy smile...  

A/N: I think about writing 3rd part... 

[mono-dot-jpeg]

the antarctic idiots [pt.1] - c! technoblade

summary; in which two anarchist piglins adopt an ender boy.

genre; child! ranboo, piglin hybrid! reader, slight canon divergence from dream smp, fluff, found family au is my shit, reader is now ranboo’s parent i don’t make the rules, techno is a grumpy father but it’s okay you love him, realistic minecraft? (idk how to describe it-)

pairing; c! technoblade x reader, platonic! ranboo x reader

word count; 1.5k

a/n; fuck it, it is here now. here’s the techno x reader you fucking simps. i can’t even be mad bc i too am a simp for the anarchist pig that is technoblade. 

i hope this is somewhat up to par with everyone’s expectations since i hyped this up so much. this is one of the few writings that i actually like so- i couldn’t resist waiting so long to post it AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

next >

now you never really expected to find yourself on a side of history that was deemed "the villain's side", especially when the villain wasn't even that bad.

okay, that's a bit of a lie. this piglin man blew up an entire country to end government. plus he has evaded his taxes. i mean the list goes on but that's not the entire point here.

the point is, you found yourself actually being friends (even going as far as housemates) with the so-called evil anarchist.

now we might be moving too fast here, so let's move it back a little bit.

"so you want me to join pogtopia?" you looked up, shutting the book in your hand as you leaned back on your chair. "and what would i get in return exactly?"

"...our friendship won't die?" the voice of wilbur soot rings in your quiet home, unsure and nervous at your stern aura and words.

"why can't you just help us?!" tommy flared up, nearly throwing a fit if not for his older brother holding him back.

"just because i am your friend, does not mean i am interested in fighting for your conflicts." you place the book on the small side table, adjusting your gloves while you explain yourself to the two boys, "i'm not saying i'm a pacifist, but i'm not here to fight. i live far away for a reason. i told you this before."

"can i call in that favor then?" wilbur asked. "you still owe me one." you huffed at his words. you saw this coming.

"you're lucky i'm a nice person most of the time." you sighed, standing up and nearly towering over the two boys if not for wilbur being a bit taller than you. "i will get my stuff packed, and then we can get to your pogtopia. but while i do that, please explain the whole situation." since you lived so far away from society, you didn't know too much about what was happening unless wilbur told you about it and wilbur never really talked to you too often.

"well, you know how we had l'manburg.." and then he starts to explain how that completely backfired on them because they lost the election and now they lost their country. "and now we want to fight back for l'manburg." wilbur finishes explaining as you put your old netherite sword in its sheath that hung on your waist. "we just need your help. are you willing to train us?"

"it's not like i have much of a choice since you're cashing in that favor." you pointed out. "i better not be staying for too long."

"i can't make any promises about that." you sighed. "you ready?"

"unfortunately." it was time to leave your home and face violence once again.

"if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only person we've asked to help us." tommy says in an attempt to get you out of your bitter mood.

"that made me feel worse, tommy. i think you guys would've been fine without me if you have another person helping you other than tubbo." you slung your bag over your shoulder. "but if you really insist on getting the help of me, then who am i to judge?"

"since it seems like you're ready now, let's go to pogtopia!" tommy said, ignoring most of your words of complaints as he starts to drag you by the arm towards the dream smp. "it's quite the walk from here. why do you live so far from everyone? don't you get lonely? why didn't you join l'manburg with me and will?"

"slow down with the questions, tommy. first of all, i've told you and wilbur why i live far away, you did not listen though." you pressed a finger on his forehead, earning a huff of annoyance from the blonde. you moved your hand back to your side. "i simply do not like people. also why get pulled into conflict that you never were apart of to begin with? but that's pretty hypocritical of me to say now."

"i get that you're not fond of people, but aren't you lonely out here?" you three walked into the portal that would take you right into the nether. the sounds of bubbling lava and squealing pigmen was always an oddly comforting sound to hear.

"i'm perfectly content in my house. even if it's very far from others. i'm happy." you answered though your words sounded so... monotonous. tommy gave you a look, he definitely didn't believe you. "i know i don't sound happy but i am." before you knew it, you made it to the other nether portal which would actually take you to the manburg and pogtopia. oh how you didn't miss this place at all.

you never liked how manburg was ran even before shlatt was elected. you never really like government in general. it always seemed to be ruining everything. freedom never felt like freedom, at least that's what you thought especially when there was a goverment.

"welcome to pogtopia!" you were so deep in your own thoughts that you hadn't realized that you had made it to pogtopia.

"so where is your other helper? the first choice that wasn't me?" you asked.

"i think he might be here. he's been staying up for a long time. ever since he got in here." wilbur said. "technoblade? you here?" wilbur leads you to a potato farm and you soon feel a sense of familiarity as you enter the room.

"yeah." a low huff is heard, causing you and wilbur to turn your heads toward the source of the sound. "i'm here." what immediately catches your attention is the crown messily placed on his head as he farms. as a piglin, you've always been fond of gold, that adoration never left you once you went to the overworld. you never really wore a crown but you wore a gold pendant instead that was pinned to your cape.

"you have a really pretty crown." it takes you a minute to realize that those words came out of your mouth. "fuck, i didn't mean to say that out loud." you explained quickly to the male that was farming. "piglin things." you muttered.

"a very unexpected compliment. understandable." techno said. "wilbur, who is this again? have i met them?"

"well, you'd think you know each other since you're both piglins, but i guess the world is bigger than i thought. well, technoblade, meet y/n, y/n, meet technoblade."

"i call him the blade." tommy said smugly. "the blade! how's the potato planting doing?"

"it's doing fine. i didn't expect any company to come though."

"well, this is the person that we wanted to recruit for pogtopia."

"nice to meet you, even if the circumstances aren't the best. wilbur is lucky i owe him a favor." you said. "i sort of expected meeting you since tommy and wilbur mentioned you once they came to get me. i just never expected to see another piglin here in the overworld."

"never expected to see another piglin here either." techno hummed slightly.

maybe staying in pogtopia won't be too bad. at least you made a friend?

that was sort of a lie. you and techno never really talked after the encounter. it never worried you, you’re not one for conversation right now anyways. you had a mission to do and you’re gonna do it. you didn’t have time to make friends, at least that’s what you thought. friends seemed to be temporary in the smp, considering the wars that were and have happened.

you weren’t going to make another friend, knowing that you just might get pulled into their fights.

“why did you stop fighting once you left l’manburg?” wilbur’s voice rings in the small fighting pit that was made for training.

“i simply didn’t find the need to fight. it doesn’t mean i’m any weaker though. i will still fight for what i want to fight for.” and that’s gonna be really ending this whole government. you think to yourself, letting the nighttime ambience fill the air.

“you still have your lives...right?” you show him your wrist which had 3 hearts tattooed on it. 

“i’ve been living away from everyone, of course i won’t die that easily.” you let out an empty laugh. “bold of you to assume i would even die.”

“i know it’s ridiculous to even think that you would lose a life after you left l’manburg but what if dream were to chase you down and kill you?”

“i understand your worry, but need not to worry, i can handle myself. if i couldn’t you guys would never even assign me as cavalry captain those years ago.” you said, unbuttoning your gold pendant to place it on the stone cold floor along with your other accessories you had. “it’s not like dream can do too much to me. we made a deal after all.”

“a deal?” wilbur raised an eyebrow as he took off his jacket, tossing it on the ground.

“don’t be too concerned. i’m not like eret. i wouldn’t betray you.”

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