#i can’t believe i only found out about this in 2021.

[astroniii]

GOOD GRACES

pairing: Lando Norris x Pop Star Reader

faceclaim: Isabela Merced

masterlist

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2021

2023

Liked by landonorris, sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo, and 3,684,937 others

yourusername found a new muse 💋

user1 OMFG FINALLY!

user2 SHE TOOK A YEAR OFF, BUT MOTHER IS BACK TO BREAK RECORDS!

user3 OH SHE’S HERE TO SERVE

user4 I’M SO EXCITED!

user5 no cause FINALLY!

user6 PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE RELEASING MUSIC THIS YEAR!

user7 DON’T MAKE US WAIT ANOTHER YEAR FOR THIS RELEASE!

user8 A NEW MUSE? IS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GETTING A SISTER?

| user9 PLEASE BE ANOTHER GOOD GRACES

| user10 I WANT ANOTHER LOVE IS | EMBARRASSING!

user11 are we finally getting a love song from you!

| user12 OMG I NEVER REALIZED SHE HAS | NEVER WROTE A LOVE SONG! NOT EVEN ABOUT | TOM AND THEY WERE TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS!

| user13 May not have gotten love songs | from her relationship with Tom, but we | did get please please please and good | graces

Liked by sabrinacarpenter, landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, oliviarodrigo, and 7,263,759 others

yourusername my new album “positions” is out next month! 💋 here is a preview to the album with my new song “bed chem”! Thank you guys for the wait and being patient with me for the last year! I hope you all like the song ❤️

user1 BED CHEM! BED CHEM!

user2 WE GOT A SEX SONG! 🥵

| user3 MORE LIKE A SEX FANTASY SONG!

user4 MAM! MAM! WHO IS THE SONG ABOUT!

user5 “Who's the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent?” itches my brain in just the right way!

user6 WHO DO WE KNOW THAT HAS AN ACCENT AND GREEN EYES!

sabrinacarpenter I can’t wait to hear the rest of the album 💕

user7 “COME RIGHT ON ME, I MEAN CAMARADERIE” WHO’S GOT YOU THIS HORNY! 👀

user8 “MANIFEST THAT YOU’RE OVERSIZED” MISS MAM! 😂

user9 YOU’VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH @/sabrinacarpenter too much

| user10 NONSENSE AND BED CHEM ARE | SISTERS!

Liked by landonorris, francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, iambeckyg, and 9,236,682 others

yourusername POSITIONS IS OUT NOW! 💕

user1 WE FINALLY GOT LOVE SONGS FROM HER!

user2 SHE’S HORNY AND IN LOVE

user3 WHO IS THIS MYSTERY MAN THAT HAS YOU WRITING LOVE SONGS! 🕵️

user4 34+35 is the horniest song on the album 🥵

user5 OMG! WE GOT A SPANISH SONG!

user6 ALBUM OF THE YEAR!

user7 THE BOY IS MINE! LIKE BRANDY AND MONICA!

user8 THIS ALBUM IS PERFECTION! 🥰

user9 NO SKIPS ❤️

user10 NOT ONLY DID WE GET A LOVE SONG, BUT WE GOT MORE THAN ONE!

user11 THE QUEEN OF POP

user12 I’ll give you $5 if you tell me who these songs are about!

2024

yourusername posted a story

Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, mclaren, alexandrasaintmleux, and 7,486,992 others

yourusername Thank you so much for @/mclaren for having me! 💕 Can’t wait to see the race tomorrow! 🏁

user1 OMG, SHE’S AT THE MIAMI GP!

user2 YOU’RE TELLING ME SHE WAS THERE TODAY AND I DIDN’T MEET HER! 😭

mclaren It was an honor having you! We can’t wait to see you again tomorrow!

user3 MCLAREN? I figured Red Bull or Ferrari would’ve invited her

oscarpiastri It was nice to finally meet you!

| yourusername It was nice meeting you | too! I can’t wait to see the race | tomorrow!

| user4 WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINALLY!

alexandrasaintmleux I can’t believe you were here and I didn’t get to see you!

| yourusername We can meet up tomorrow, | pretty girl!

user5 My two worlds are colliding 🤯

user6 THE PICTURES OF LANDO AND OSCAR

landonorris It was good having you today! I hope you’re ready for the race tomorrow!

| yourusername I was born ready! I better | see you on the podium tomorrow

Liked by yourusername, lnfour, and 3,126,026 others

landonorris WWE FUCKIJG DID IT. P1 🏆

user1 LFG!

user2 CONGRATS! 👏

user3 YOU DESERVE IT LANDO! 🧡🏆

user4 WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THAT KISS! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!

user5 YOU’RE DATING @/yourusername! WHAT THE FUCK!

user6 THE WAY HE RAN TO HER AFTER GETTING OUT OF THE CAR! 😭

yourusername CONGRATULATIONS BABY! I KNEW YOU CAN DO IT! 🧡

user7 LANDO NOWINS WHO! 📢

yourusername I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

Liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, sabrinacarpenter, alexandrasaintmleux, and 11,232,743 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername I guess the cat’s out of the bag 💕

user1 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!

user2 WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! THE HARD LAUNCH!

user3 YOU ARE TELLING ME POSITIONS IS ABOUT LANDO NORRIS!

user4 YOU ARE SO FUCKING CUTE TOGETHER 😭

user5 MOTHER IS IN LOVE ❤️

landonorris God, I love you so fucking much! 🧡

| yourusername I love you too, my race | winner 🧡

user6 SHE WROTE ALL THESE HORNY SONGS ABOUT HIM!

user7 ANOTHER WHITE MAN 😭

alexandrasaintmleux Does this mean I will see you around the paddock more often?

| yourusername of course! I can’t wait to | hang out with you more beautiful!

user8 @/landonorris DON’T FUCK IT UP! I NEED @/yourusername TO WRITE MORE LOVE SONGS!

user9 LANDO NORRIS IS THE CUTE GUY WITH GREEN EYES AND A THICK ACCENT!

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[mysticfalls01]

Diamond

(FC Barcelona x reader)

As a kid you always loved football. When you were three your parents gave your brother a football ball for his sixth birthday, he only played with it for a week and then left abandoned in the garden. You saw the ball and started playing with it, your parents saw how much you liked to play with it and decided to sign you up for the local team.

You played there for a couple of years until Manchester City’s academy scouted you and you joined them.

It wasn’t until City’s youth team played a tournament against Barcelona that Alexia saw you play.

Alexia and some other players of the senior team went to see the youths team to show their support.

Alexia was amazed with how easily you destroyed their defense and scored as many goals as you could, she loved your style of playing and how you played the whole time with a smile on your face. She could see that while you took the game seriously you never forgot to enjoy the game.

That’s how you found yourself flying to Barcelona to join their B team. Alexia knew that you were diamond in the rough and that with the right guidance you could become one of the best players in the world. She pressured the academy staff telling them that you were a talent that they couldn’t let go.

Barcelona was the right move for you while you were going to miss your home you knew that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity so with your families encouragement you moved there.

You loved the city, the warm weather, the way the staff received you and your new teammates.

Quickly you picked up the language and you were able to communicate better with your teammates. From your teammates you became the closest with Bruna and Jana being you the youngest one. They considered you their youngest siblings and became protective of you.

You were so happy when Jana and Bruna got the call up to join the senior team, you knew that you wouldn’t see them as frequently as you did but you couldn’t have been prouder for them.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Unfortunately in 2021 for the senior team one of their strikers got injured and was going to be out for six months so Jonatan decided to call you up as your numbers with the B team were amazing.

The first persons to know about your call up were Jana and Bruna. Jonatan told them as he wanted to make sure that your first day training with the first team went as smoothly as possible for you.

The day finally came. The senior team realized that something special was happening as Bruna and Jana couldn’t stop smiling and were looking at the locker room door.

A couple of minutes later when everyone was ready Jonatan entered the room with someone following behind him.

“Buenos días chicas! As you know one of our strikers will be out for about six months so instead of signing someone new I decided to call up someone of the B team”

“This is y/n l/n and she’ll be joining us for …” Jonatan couldn’t finish your presentation as Bruna and Jana squealed and ran to you while they were yelling “Hermanita!”

“… the season. I’ll let you guys meet y/n. I’ll see you guys at the training pitch in 30 minutes.” Jonatan finished speaking before leaving the room.

Still hugging you Jana whispered “I couldn’t be happier for you diamante, it was about time for you to join us”

Alexia, Leila and Mapi couldn’t help but to look at the scene of the youngsters hugging you with a soft smile on their faces. Alexia recognized you from that game a couple of years ago against their youths team and couldn’t believe that the staff followed her advice.

After you guys separated, Alexia and Mapi approached you.

“y/n welcome to the team! Congratulations for your call up!” Alexia said while giving you a hug

“Si y/n! Muchas felicidades! Ya quiero verte jugar con nosotras!” Mapi said with a huge smile on her face.

Before you even could talk Bruna spoke “It was about time she joined us! I can’t wait for you guys to see why her nickname is diamante!”

Finally you shyly spoke.

“Thank you everyone for the warm welcome, it’s an honor to play with you guys. I can’t wait to play again and learn from everyone in the team”

Your eyes shined when you mentioned those words, they could see how much you loved the game and they knew that you be perfect for the team.

You were only supposed to stay in the first team for a season however, your call up was the beginning of the story for someone who was destined to make history in Barcelona and for the Lionesses.

You were Barcelona’s diamond in the rough.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Just a small idea that has been stuck in my head for a couple of days. I hope that you liked it guys.

[suhnandmoon]

chapter twenty three: serious route

please read the chapter 23 nav before you read!!!

disclaimer: don't perceive this. i don't really like to make written chapters but i thought i'd pay tribute to my og queen (2021 starlight) and try to redeem her. i'd rather you read route 2

warnings: kidnapping, forced unconsciousness

you woke up in a daze. it was unlike the last time you woke up in a foreign setting– mark’s guest room at 3am was starting to sound a lot more pleasant than you remembered– but this time you were slumped over, seated on a tree stump in the middle of the forest. the sky was pitch black with only a small fire and a few flashlights illuminating the area.

across the bonfire, you saw three figures talking lowly. you were paralyzed, recognizing one of the people to be eric. 

mind racing, you tried to think of the best possible escape route but upon shifting slightly, the pressure on your ankles indicated that your feet were bound together with rope.

“how long is she out for?” one of the voices asked, causing you to freeze. feigning unconsciousness was probably the best way to keep attention off of you, though you weren’t sure if you could keep the act up due to your full body shaking in fear.

“how the hell would i know. i just found out last week that i could even make people fall asleep.” a slightly deeper voice replied.

“well, let’s just hope she doesn’t wake up. makes things easier for us in negotiation.” you recognized the last voice to be eric, though it wasn’t surprising to you that he brought you there.

“shit- i think she’s awake. i hear her heart rate getting faster.” the first vampire commented. your stomach dropped immediately.

“you can hear fucking heartbeats?” eric asked incredulously, earning a punch on the shoulder from the other vampire.

“we all can if you focus, idiot.”

as they began bickering, you prayed they somehow forgot about you. eyes still closed, you hadn’t realized you shut them tighter as the first boy approached you.

“yn?” he said softly, catching you off guard. there was no malice in his tone. it was a completely different attitude than what you were expecting, especially after the run-in with sunwoo.

you opened an eye slightly to see your captor. he looked to be about your age as well. though knowing he was a vampire, that didn’t do much to help you. his friendly smile and round glasses caused him to look more unassuming than you thought he would, but you kept your guard up.

he let out a genuine chuckle at your attempt to crack your eye open without making it obvious you were awake.

“i know you’re awake.” he took a step closer, instinctively causing you to lean back, though you noticed he kept a respectful distance, “i’m sorry about all this. i’m changmin.”

“i know this looks bad but i promise we’re not gonna hurt you, we just need to,,” changmin paused to chose his words carefully. “use you as leverage for lack of a better explanation.”

you battled with the instinct lingering in your mind to trust him, “why kidnap me again? sunwoo already tried and it didn’t work.”

“because sunwoo’s a dumbass who hasn’t practiced self restraint a single day in his life-” the boy previously bickering with eric yelled from behind changmin.

“juyeon, shut the hell up, would you?” changmin tossed his complaint over his shoulder before turning back to you, “we’re doing what sunwoo should have done. he shouldn’t have taken it as far as he did. but as of right, we believe this is the only way for us to negotiate.”

“you’re a vampire now so i would hope you understand where we’re coming from,” eric’s tone was not as friendly as changmin, yet still sincere, “this deal we have with them- it’s a restriction that doesn’t do us any favor. we’re just trying to get them to let up on how much blood we can take from humans each month. its ridiculous.”

“this animal shit- it’s so fucking stupid. we’re vampires. they can take their moral high ground, but they can’t deny what we actually need.” juyeon added on.

“isn’t the agreement in place mainly so we don’t get found out?” you wish your voice came out stronger than it actually sounded, the slight shake in your voice giving you away.

“so? who cares. anyone who finds us out won’t know for much longer.” eric shrugged casually, sending a chill down your spine. for a moment, hearing them converse and bicker gave them a sense of humanity though they were your captors, but eric’s indifference toward the weight of a human life reminded you just how different you truly were. 

“anyways. yn, your friends are going to be showing up soon,” changmin changed the subject and redirected his focus back on you, “we might make threats toward you, just know we’re not actually going to hurt you. we just need to scare them. no promises about not harming the guys though.”

“now why would you tell her that? she’s gonna tell them she’s okay.” eric retaliated. 

if the adrenaline in your system wasn’t so high, you would’ve found the nerve to actually be annoyed at their constant back and forth. but you didn’t have that much time to think about it before juyeon was muttering some insult at eric and walking over to you.

with one wave over your head, you were back out of it, slumping back down.

_______

it wasn’t long after your short moment of consciousness that the boys had found the location sent to them by juyeon. jeno was the only one to have stayed behind, keeping an eye out for chaeryoung as a precaution.

when they arrived to the scene, they were met with the looming figures of eric, changmin, and juyeon standing over the bonfire. eric held your slumped body close, making it clear that they had the advantage

seeing you like this for the second time caused renjun to step out, calling your name. mark had to reach out his arm to stop him from escalating anything too quickly, as eric made a show of tightening his hold upon renjun’s approach. this was sick.

they slowly approached them, closing the distance so they could talk.

“you brought us here to make compromises.” mark called out, keeping his tone neutral. “where’s your leader then?”

juyeon scoffed, glaring at the six. “this isn’t a compromise. we want this whole thing dropped.” he corrected.

“sangyeon’s the only one of you who can make that call.” the edge on mark’s voice was intimidating, but it didn’t phase the opposing team.

“i think you’re forgetting who we have here.” eric spoke up to defend his friend with a laugh, but it only caused donghyuck to scoff at the act.

“i think you’re forgetting you’re outnumbered, dumbass.” donghyuck mocked, causing eric to step forward in retaliation, briefly forgetting about his grasp on you. 

renjun and jisung quickly took that opportunity catch him off guard. with his grip on you loosened, renjun pulled you away while jisung distracted eric. this action erupted a fight out of the rest of the boys; mark, hyuck, and jaemin moving to keep juyeon and changmin away from you.

it was less of a fight, more of a tussle, when renjun extracted you from the scene. it luckily couldn’t escalate into anything serious when a deep shout could be heard several feet away from the area.

the sound of the voice immediately sent the three boys into a halt, as if they had just been commanded to freeze.

“what the hell do you think you’re doing?” the words grew distinguishable as the owner of the voice emerged from the trees. it was none other than lee sangyeon himself, as mark was smart enough to shoot him the location his own boys had sent them.

eric, juyeon, and changmin all looked at each other, expecting someone to speak up. their previously serious demeanor had a complete 180. they all looked like children caught red-handed.

“helping you?” juyeon was the first to break their silence, “sangyeon, you’ve been working yourself to death these last few months. the least we could do was resolve this issue for you.”

the firm look in sangyeon’s eyes almost dissipated at the sentiment, but he stood his ground with crossed arms.

“and how exactly would kidnapping their friend resolve any kinds of issues with them?” he almost laughed at the stupidity of it all.

“we were never gonna hurt her! we just needed to negotiate-” changmin defended their plan, earning a gasp from jaemin, “anyways, we wanted to alleviate your stress with the negotiation so taking care of it ourselves was our best option” 

their leader sighed. his lips parted, attempting to string together what he wanted to say before finally speaking up, “that's not why i’ve been busy.”

“its not? why do you get so touchy everytime its brought up?” eric pushed back.

“we’re moving. i’ve been trying to find a city without a large vampire presence so we don’t butt heads like this.” he referenced the silent group of boys just observing the dispute; unnecessarily pulled into this shit. “that’s why i’ve been stressed. no other reason.”

he turned to all of you. “i’m sorry about them. you can have my word this time that this will never happen again. i should’ve kept them in the loop.”

sangyeon nodded and guided the boys out of the forest, leaving the rest of you slightly baffled and annoyed in his wake, though you, of course, were still yet to wake up.

“well that was pointless.” chenle barked out a frustrated laugh, almost amused at how unnecessary that all was.

“and they never even apologized.” hyuck rolled his eyes, beginning their own trek out of the forest. “here in the middle of nowhere for nothing. fucking idiots.”

“at least yn’s safe.” mark tried to sympathize to avoid escalating their emotions, “let’s just get the hell out of here.

“don’t have to tell me twice,” hyuck called out, already a few feet ahead of everyone else.

[scarlet-fantasies]

Eren is your first love hcs

Description: Eren is aware that he's your first boyfriend, but he’s not aware of being your first love. Also what makes you love/what he has done for you.

::𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬:: fluff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡

𝐼𝑛𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛

𝐶𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑗𝑜𝑖𝑛 --> 𝑇𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑒𝑡-𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑒𝑠 // 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑙, 𝑟𝑒𝑢𝑠𝑒, 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠. 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑒. // 2021-𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What makes you love him/what being your first love consists of:

💚The way he admires your beauty and looks at you a lot.

💚Sometimes says thank you after a kiss as a tease

💚Was the first person to see your room. Would tease you just a bit if you had stuffed animals.

💚He'd smile, holding up the stuffed toy of a duck in his hands, "You still have stuffed animals?"

💚"Oh, there from when I was three, I should've put them away."

💚"No its fine, I think its cute that you have childhood memories in your room."

💚maybe need to make a post about rooms idk,

💚his room is a mess

💚Was the kind of guy that loved watching you from afar and admiring you before asking you out

💚He once told you during one of your first dates he said, “I saw you a couple times around campus but I couldn't stop but when I found out you started working here, I thought ‘I gotta meet that girl.’l

💚Of course, you probably didn't want to believe that because it just seemed like flattery but he worked up to what he said. I know it may seem kinda corny for him to say but he'd only say that to girl he means it too.

💚I mean if you think about it men will change their approach to a woman depending on their intentions. And that's basically what Eren did here. With his ex-girlfriends, he didn't say anything like that. What I will say is that if he was serious about a girl, he probably wouldn't realize it. He'd be the type to not notice his change in behavior. It would take his friends to point it out.

💚Loves to ask if he can kiss you in the beginning of a relationship.

💚Will keep the relationship private for your sake.

💚Finds a thrill in it, really tbh.

💚Plus, knowing your parents and his parents wouldn’t be involved, he likes that more.

💚He repays you w kisses when you do something for him.

💚If you weren’t sure if you two were bf and gf he’d find it kinda funny that you were confused.

💚“Did you just say boyfriend?” He’d ask.

💚“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that, it's just saying a “male friend” doesn’t make sense in our situation. And I’m not really sure what else to say–I mean what do you think?”

💚He stops and turns to you, “Y/n, I can’t make the decision of being your boyfriend.”

💚Your lips parted as you looked down shamefully and mumbled. “Oh--”

💚A grin appeared on his face, “But I can ask you. Do you want me to be your boyfriend?”

💚You nodded, “I’d like that.”

💚When you ask about something he doesn’t like doing, like a specific date or whatever. He doesn’t tell you instead he’s reluctant and tries to see how much this means to you.

💚If you try to play it off like it doesn’t matter, then he’s definitely going to say yes.

💚“Oh well, I was just offering the idea.”

💚“We’ll go.”

💚“Huh?”

💚“I said we’ll go, I can tell how much you really wanna do this.”

💚He’s always looking for you and surprises you a lot.

How he found out:

💚You were in Mikasa's room and spending time with her and you got into the subject of your boyfriends and so she started to share about her first love and then the question came to you.

💚“So Y/n what about you? Whose your first love?”

💚Considering she’d be only one witnessing how you felt and Eren wouldn’t be the one to hear you figured why not let your best friend know?Of course, you were unfortunate and as Eren walked by Mikasa’s room he heard what she had asked you.

💚And he was definitely interested because not even he knew this about you. Mostly because he knows you'd never tell him. So he couldn't help but get curious and listen. If there was thing Eren was known for, it was that he loved watching you/listening to you and knowing everything about you, especially your feelings, which you'd never share or secrets you wanted to hide. So he couldn't help but want to hear, I mean, you two weren't exactly quiet after all he could pretty much hear everything you two were saying.

💚“C’mon tell me, I want to know.“ She urged, wanting to know what you were hiding.

💚Eren was on the edge of his seat to know by this point, seeing how dear it was to you to keep it a secret from everyone, including your best friend.

💚Mustering up the courage you’d admit, “Eren, is my first love.”

💚“What?! You mean you’ve never liked another guy before him?” Mikasa would ask, completely shocked about you not having previous crush or anything.

💚“No, I haven’t.” You’d admit, shaking your head.

💚“Wait so, your boyfriend is your first everything? Like crush, first kiss, all of that?”

💚“Pretty much.”

💚Eren, of course, had become quite smug by what he had heard. and he was definitely going to ask you about it. Especially because you'd never admit this to him. Of course to ask you he had to find the timing of this. He wasn't going to bring it up in front of others because he knew that would make you feel uncomfortable.

Confronting you:

💚You were watching TV together, well, you were, Eren was just looking at you. At some point, he wanted to get your attention and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. This caused you to look at him, "What?" you asked, curious about what he was doing.

💚He'd shake his head before smiling, "It's nothing, I was just thinking of how nice you look."

💚You look back at the TV being at a loss of words as you blush. He'd chuckle at your shy action, "I guess I really am your first love then, huh?"

💚“What?” You’d say confused, not wanting to act suspicious since your conversation with Mikasa earlier has quite a similar topic. There’s no way he heard you both talking, right?

💚“Am I your first love?” He'd ask, looking at you to give him an answer.

💚“No.” You’d say as you avert your eyes and look back at the screen.

💚He’d smirk, “You’re such a liar~”.

💚“Ah!” You’d yelp as he push you down on the couch and started tickling you. “Eren! Hey, stop it!” You'd laugh trying to pry his hands away.

💚“Tell me who your first love is!” He’d shout, grinning with a wide smile, still tickling you while you squirmed.

💚“Tell me!” He’d insist

💚“No, I’m not telling you!—Stop, no more!” You’d answer stubbornly.

💚“Never!” He’d chuckle, his tickling getting so vigorous to the point of making you breathless.

💚Seconds felt so much longer and agonizing as he found new spots to tickle you, spots you didn’t even know you were ticklish there. This lasted for what seemed a while now and you wanted to get out of the tickles and giggling so much.

💚“Admit it! You need to admit if you want me to stop. Am I your first love!” He’d grin, trying to get you to cave.

💚Being out of breath you nodded your head “yes” frantically at this but that didn’t stop him from tickling you.

💚“You have to say it."

💚Seeing that this probably end you just gave up, “Okay yes! Yes, you are!” You’d admit finally with a blush on your cheeks.

💚“Gotcha.” He’d chuckle, finally letting go of tickling you to catch your breath.

💚“You’re not fair.” You rested your forearm over your face in shame as you didn’t want him to look at you.

💚He moved your arm away to give you a kiss. You could feel him smirking in this kiss. He pulled away to look at you, just as you were about to cover your face. But he caught you before you could, “Dang I didn’t think you’d actually tell me.”

💚“Shut up!” You’d pout, pushing him off you, “How long were you listening for?” You looked back at him, wondering when he decided to listen on your conversation with Mikasa.

💚“Hmm, the whole time, I couldn’t resist hearing everything you had to say, cutie.” He smirked, his arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you into his lap.

💚Your eyes widen, “Everything, everything?” You asked, concerned, hoping he didn’t hear everything down to your fear of arguing and really liking him.

💚“Yeah your worries and how much you really like me, and you know basically how I’m you’re first love.”

💚You frown because you don't want him to know all this. “You weren't supposed to hear that.” You'd mumble, burying your face into his chest as he stroked your hair.

💚He’d glance at you before smiling, "What that you have the "hots" for me?" He'd laugh obnoxiously.

💚"Stop, that’s embarrassing.” You’d say annoyed.

💚"Never.” He’d joke, making you pull away to look at him with a frown on your face.

💚Seeing how you looked upset and annoyed he felt bad about it. But also thought you were really cute. “Awww, babe. I was just teasing I promise. I think you're really adorable.” He'd grin as his index finger tapped your nose.

💚At first you thought he was apologizing to you but really he just called you cute, to which you understood he was still playing with you.

💚“Eren—hey, you’re still teasing me!”

💚He’d laugh seeing you catch on as you crossed your arms, “you’re unfair.”

💚“Okay, look I promise I’ll keep it between us. ” He’d reassure pinky swearing with you.

💚“But still who would have thought.” He’d tease again, “you have such a huge crush on me!” Eren laughed seeing your reaction.

💚“Stop it, Eren!” You’d complain.

@bi-effing-simp @lucifugovs @xxghoulishspritexx @sp00ksic0la @keithandlevi-ontheroof @songbirdgardensworld

@bubs-world

::Previous Post::

1

[poptropica222]

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

(re) introduction

hello! though i believe as of right now most of you have migrated over to this account from shifttok (thank you!! so excited for this community we already have) i wanted to give you & anyone new to my shifting journey a refresh on my history with shifting/shifttok as well as discuss this new chapter which i can’t wait to begin! <3

about me:

my name is ati, i’m 22, use she/her and i’m from california.

i first learned about shifting through tiktok in october 2020 (pre-college, and now i’ve graduated, which is crazy). i had known about manifestation for longer than that, started doing research in 2019 and successfully manifested multiple things into my reality.

i began my shifttok account in 2021, and for a couple years really enjoyed discussing my shifting attempts and thoughts and desired realities. however, in 2023, without actively realizing it my shifting motivation/desire to shift left. it became a nebulous thing again instead of something i believed i could actually do. my life got a lot busier and shifting left my list of priorities. in 2024 i wanted to continue working not only towards shifting but on my spirituality and connection to myself & the universe but never made genuine effort. in 2025 i’d really like to change that.

i decided last year i would no longer be sharing my shifting journey on tiktok. though i’m incredibly grateful to shifttok and the community i’ve found on there, it’s no longer a place where i want share something that feels very deeply personal. the strange ban situation has only reinforced that.

while i’m still very happy to share my life and interests on tiktok and youtube, shifting is something i’m holding closer to my chest from now on. i’m a writer—it was my major, and it’s my desired career—and tumblr/blogging feels like the perfect avenue to reconnect with shifting.

what’s next:

i have not genuinely attempted to shift in a long, long time. it’s become a half-hearted desire rather than something i’m committed to. i’m changing that!

i have still been successfully manifesting but want to form a deeper connection with my spirituality through research and practice.

however, i’ve never been great at keeping my interests separate, so you won’t only be seeing shifting/manifestation content on this blog. i love to read & write & fangirl about the things i enjoy, so you’ll definitely be seeing all that too <3

my experiences so far:

my most solid experience comes earlier on in my journey 9/20/21, when my wake up scenario involved ginny weasley touching my shoulder and i felt a hand grip my shoulder (woke up immediately alone in my room) and freaked out so bad i changed my scenario. was very exciting though!

felt wind/breezes on my body and face multiple times when i was firmly under the covers, fan off, window closed.

i have smelled my scripted scents for my dr about 10-15 times: firewood when i visualize my dorm room, chocolate and male cologne when i visualize waking up on the train. (the male cologne was especially wild seeing as i lived in a studio apartment at the time that had definitely not seen the presence of a man 😭)

many lucid dreams that have as of now stopped, though i made multiple attempts in the dreams to create portals that led me to experience what tiktok termed shifting “symptoms” (falling, spinning)

too many asked for and fulfilled signs from the universe to count, including one that happened just a couple weeks ago (seeing a barn owl in person, very very rare for me, which i asked the universe for as a sign in 2021).

my dr’s:

𖤓 harry potter, golden trio era

my first and oldest dr, though it’s gone through many changes! my desire for this dr got a bit oversaturated, but it holds a special place and is definitely somewhere i still want to go.

𖤓 DC, gotham city, batfamily

the second script i ever made and one that is by now equal with my golden trio dr. i’m a big batman fan and this one is more often than not nowadays the one i’m focused on shifting to.

𖤓 percy jackson, arcane, voltron

these ones don’t stick in my brain the way my first two do, and i’ve never tried shifting to any of them, though i want to!

questions/topics i hope to explore:

there’s definitely a disconnect between how i view manifestation and how i view shifting that i’m trying to bridge. even though i’ve applied my successful manifestation techniques to shifting, something doesn’t seem to make sense in my subconscious.

i have a massive fear of being out of control, both physically and mentally. i won’t strap myself in to a rollercoaster and i won’t even smoke because the sensation that i am not fully in control of my body/mind causes me immense panic even if it’s not outwardly true. it’s why i stop so many of my shifting attempts and why lucid dreaming has offered me the most success. i’m trying to get over this and embrace letting go/releasing myself to what’s happening. trying to let go of self sabotage as a whole, honestly.

MEDITATION !!! i had a great run with it but have not experienced a truly peaceful mediative session in a looong time.

research on quantum jumping and scientific perspectives on the multiverse. i personally am not too bothered on defining what shifting is—whether it’s contained to your consciousness or traveling the multiverse—but i love research and am eager to learn more about it.

that’s all for now!!

i am so very excited for this new chapter. it’s been five years since i started and i’ve grown so much and learned a lot about myself and the world. i can’t wait to get back into this with you. thank you for reading and thank you for being here!

other platforms you can find me:

instagram: atiragali & littleepilogues

youtube: ati gali

substack: substack.com/atiragali

spotify: ati.g

[mikareo]

⌗ sanguine ₊ ˖ ་. suguru geto x fem reader (1.0k)

genre . . hanahaki au, reader loves someone else, angst, geto is delulu for u u, rejection, almost kiss, implied death, sad summary . . gojo satoru has everything geto suguru has ever wanted, including you. note . . a quick rewrite of an old hanahaki hq fic from 2021. gojo will never love u on my blog sorry

Ethereal. Something almost too perfect for this world. A gem that can’t be found even in the deepest of pits, cascading to the bottom of the ocean with nothing but a gleaming sparkle to mark its beauty— beneath mossy ravines and treacherous tunnels, lost in a sea of mystery and unresolved feelings. Feelings that are the single driving force for everything he lives for. Feelings that make his heart skip two beats faster, creating a love song that he wishes he could sing out loud. They’re everything he could ever wish for and want in a partner…in a soulmate. 

That’s what Suguru considers you to be. His soulmate. 

You’re an absolutely, breathtakingly, physical embodiment of perfection in his mind. The most perfect woman in the world is nothing but dust in comparison as there’s simply no one else like you. No one that even so much as nears the level of adoration that he holds you at in his heart; which is all the more reason for the throbbing pain the organ feels. With his blood pumping and heart racing, he’s dying.

“I’m so sorry, Suguru.” He wishes you’d stop biting your lip so hard. He knows apologies are difficult, practically impossible, but your lips are bleeding from how hard you’re holding back tears. “I wish I could love you. I want to love you, but I just can’t.” 

With a shaky voice, you confirm his worst fears. “I’ll always love Satoru most.”

Oh, Satoru. There's just one person in the world that Suguru has never been able to surpass and it's his best friend. His closest confidant who's outgoing, handsome, charismatic, and everything the lesser man wishes he could be. Yes, they haven't spoken in months— not since their infamous stand off outside of their former lunch spot— but Satoru is the only person who knows about Suguru's condition. Hanahaki.

He was diagnosed with the disease when he was fifteen years old...the day after he met you.

The first sign was an innocent red petal, resembling that of a spider lily. Thin and scarlet with an enigmatic beauty that reminded him so much of you. He wanted to cherish the flower, encase it in resin to freeze that beautiful moment in time so he could give it to you, and show you just how much he values you. However, that moment wasn't beautiful. It was the start of the end of his life. A life filled with resentment and jealously that would only grow into a field of flowers settling in the pit of his stomach— with thorns and weeds he can feel but not see.

Yes. Technically you're the one to blame for his fatal condition, but Geto can't acknowledge that. To him, you can do no wrong. You're perfect just as you are, flaws and all. He believes he knows you best out of anyone in the world, and he can't understand why you'd choose Satoru over him. Satoru doesn't care about you! He's never cared about you! Why can't you see what's right in front of you? Geto is right here. He's here and he wants to hug you and make everything better; yet he can't...because while he's crying over you, you're crying over Gojo.

"I can make you happy, I promise!" He's desperate, now. "I know I'm not him, but I can be better!"

You shake your head, coughing briefly before smiling at him with blood-stained teeth. What? "We're too similar, Suguru." Why are you bleeding? What's going on? "Neither of us want to give up."

Slowly, your fingers release the fist you've been holding for the past few minutes, revealing a pile of small blue petals. A shade of blue that Geto is all too familiar with, having stared at the color for a majority of his teenage years in his best friend's eyes. It's a color that most associate with hope and prosperity— not knowing that it's also directly associated with your inevitable death.

Gojo Satoru is the most powerful man in the world; and you're the most powerless woman for loving him.

He feels himself crawling towards you, ignoring the piles of bloodied petals decaying on your bedroom floor, and ever-so-gently touches your cheek. Geto wishes he could wipe your tears and never see you cry again. Someone so beautiful shouldn't feel sadness. It isn't right.

"I love you." he whispers, gaze settled on your scarlet lips.

Say it back.

"Please." he leans in closer.

Just let him show you how perfect you are.

"I would never hurt you."

Your lips are almost on his...

...and suddenly they're gone.

"This isn't what I want!" His heart breaks in two at the sound of your cry. It isn't Gojo that's making you miserable, right now it's him. Geto, himself, is the cause of your pain and if he could he'd rip his own mouth off to get him to stop talking he would. "Suguru, I don't want you. Please understand!"

You continue sobbing and Geto can't stop the flow of tears no matter how hard he tries. "I wish I loved you, I want to so badly, but it's always going to be Satoru!"

His stare is so focused that he can see the budding blossoms at the back of your throat, threatening to grow and shrivel up your heart with their thorns. The pain that you feel every day is likely unbearable, as if your entire body is being ripped in two due to the utter devastation of pure heartbreak. Geto would know. He feels it every day, too. He's felt it every day for the last two years of knowing you and he's surprised that he hasn't succumbed to the garden already. Just wither and die. Please just go away! His pleas are so loud, overtaking his every thought, that he doesn't know if he's wishing away the spider lilies or himself.

"If it's always him," his chest feels heavy; it's almost an all-consuming fire using his blood as oil, "then we both know what's going to happen to us."

You nod, whimpering slightly as you bite back your tears.

He can't believe this is how it's all ending.

Somehow, his head finds its resting place against yours.

He was so confident you'd be able to feel the same.

The vines crawl to his tongue, attempting to snare and take hold of his ability to speak— but not before he can utter his last words.

It shouldn't have been this way.

"I love you."

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⊹₊｡ reblogs are greatly appreciated! ˚₊⊹

[sweetdispatch]

Breakup & achievements - N. Hischier

When Two Sports Collide | previous chapter timeline: December 2020 - June 2021 summary: Lisa reunited with Nico but this brings another problems on her warning: swearing, mentions of cheating note: i would love to end this whole story before end of the year so enjoy another chapter!

Lisa looked at the notification longer than she should. She didn’t know how to react after reading this comment. Nico hasn't spoken to her in 6 months to drop a bomb like that now. She felt lost because he was the one to break contact between them to now, feel proud of her. She decided to call Lottie and tell her about it.

“What the fuck is wrong with Nico?” 

“What do you mean?” Lottie was confused. 

“He commented that he’s proud of me. Dude ghosted me for half of a year and now he’s feeling proud?” Lisa laughed. “Pathetic”

“Maybe he wants to fix your friendship” 

“Then he should send me a message where he’s explaining why he did that and not commenting that he’s proud. He can’t be proud. He wasn’t there with me since my comeback”

“You’re overreacting Lisa. The best solution is to ignore it and see where this will go” 

Lisa’ life went on. After winning Euro, she focused on handball like never before. She felt that after the injury, she’s in the best shape she’s ever been. Her team, Vipers Kristiansand, was winning game after game. It looked like nothing could stop them. All the girls were hungry for success, especially that 2019/2020 season was cancelled due to a pandemic. 

In February, Nico was named a captain of the New Jersey Devils. Lisa was happy for him but decided not to tell him that. He was ignoring her after the pandemic and later randomly started liking her posts. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of her desperation to have him in her life. 

Month later, Lisa found out that Lottie broke her friendship with Maya. Lottie was devastated about how things turned out with Maya but she knew that it was the only right decision to cut her off from her life. It was shocking for her because she was the first girl to help her settle down in Switzerland. 

“You won’t believe what this bitch did” Lottie started the conversation.

“Who?” Lisa was confused.

“Fucking Maya Trunz” 

“What?” 

“She slept with the guy I like! I was flirting with him for months and she decided to fuck him” Lottie said with tears in her eyes.

“Wait, let me get this straight. She cheated on Nico with the guy you like? Am I understanding correctly?” 

“Yeah, she’s such a whore. Gosh I hate her. She was my close friend and stabbed me in the back” Now, Lottie was fully crying. 

“Fucking bitch… Does Nico know?” No matter how much Lisa was mad at him, she knew that he deserved the truth.

“Yeah, I told him that. He broke up with her but she’s trying to apologise to him hoping that he’ll forgive her. She’s pathetic” Lottie said. 

“She really is. Look at the bright side Lottie. You have one less toxic person in your life and this guy never deserved you if he slept with your friend” Lisa tried to make her feel better. 

“Yeah, true” 

“If you want, you can fly and spend some time with me. You’re always welcome in my apartment” 

“Thanks Lisa, at least you’re normal” They both giggled.

After the conversation, something changed in Lisa. She decided to write to Nico to congratulate him for becoming a captain. It was a rush of emotions but she felt that they might reunite without Maya in the picture. Deep down, Lisa felt that because of her, Nico decided to end their friendship. He responded to her immediately.

“Congratulations on becoming the captain and good luck out there!” Lisa wrote, it was a simple message. 

“Thank you Lisa! And congratulations to you on winning Euro. You killed out there” Nico responded. 

“Thanks Nico” She sent the message, thinking that their conversation was over. 

“I want to apologise for not responding in summer. I don’t have any excuse for this but just wanted to say that I’m really sorry. I had fun talking with you and I wish to still have it” You read his message a couple times before you wrote him back. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I thought we’re friends and then you pulled out shit like that, leaving me to wonder what I did wrong” 

“You did nothing wrong. It was me who messed up but I want to fix it… Only if you let me”

“Ghost me again and I swear, I’m blocking you” Nico laughed when he read this message.

Knowing that Nico is single now, Lisa was careful with him. She wanted him as his friend because they always had a great time but didn’t want to break Sander’ trust. She loved him deeply. The last thing she wanted was him breaking up with her. She saw the change in him after he found out about her talking with Nico during the pandemic and knew that she can’t tell him that she’s talking with him. 

Lisa felt bad for going behind Sander’ back, with her friendship but she didn’t want to choose. She tried to explain to herself that she and Nico live far away and nothing will ever happen. They were just friends but she knew that Sander would pull the “woman can’t be friends with a man without falling in love with him” card. Her head was spiralling with thoughts about her choices. 

Was it a good idea to reunite with Nico?

Is it good to risk a relationship with Sander for friendship with Nico?

Thankfully for her, the schedule became busier. Lisa had playoffs in the Norwegian League and in the Champions League. She put all her focus on trainings and recovery. She was watching and analysing other teams' games. Becoming an European champion was a dream but the job wasn’t done here. There were so many more things she wanted to achieve starting with the Champions League.

The end of May was a good month for Lisa. Vipers Kristiansand defended the title and for the second time, she was crowned as Norwegian champion. Now, it was the hardest part - Final4. Best four teams were in contention for the Champions League title. She was part of this back in season 18/19 but now, two seasons later it was a way different feeling. 

She and her teammates felt that they might bring the gold to Kristiansand. That they can make history by winning the first title for the club. In the semi final, they beat the Russian club 33:30. She was so close to reaching her dreams… And she did it. In the final, Vipers beat the French club 34:28 and Lisa scored 12 goals. 

In the span of 5 months, Lisa won Euro and now Champions League. She couldn’t believe it. This was an unbelievable experience for her. She was just a 21 years old girl who’s winning when last year, she was considering retirement. After the final whistle, they were giving the awards. Lisa was already excited that she won the Champions League but now, she also had been named Best Young Player and Final4 MVP. She was crying from happiness.

lisa.pedersen

liked by nicohischier and 5317 others

lisa.pedersen What just happened??? Bringing the gold to Kristiansand is a pleasure and I couldn’t be more happier for this whole team. Grateful to be part of the history❤️

charlotteolsen the way i SCREAMED when i saw the result, forever proud of you girl!!!!!

nicohischier Great job Lisa! You and your whole team played hell of a game out there, huge congratulations! Now you can call yourself double European champion❤️

1 June 2021

Sander saw Nico’ comment and was furious. He thought that her friendship with Nico was over but apparently it wasn’t. Instead of being happy for her win and celebrating with her, he started an argument.

“Why did Nico comment on your post?” He simply asked.

“I don’t know” Lisa lied.

“Tell me the fucking truth” He grabbed her arm.

“Okay, we’re talking. Happy?” 

“No! Why are you acting like a slut? Am I not good enough for you?”

“What?” 

“Don’t act dumb. You definitely want to fuck him behind my back” Sander stated.

“I don’t. We just explained the situation why he wasn’t talking with me during the summer and that’s it. We’re in a neutral relationship. You really think this low about me to think that I would cheat on you?” Lisa asked with tears in her eyes.

“Yes. That’s what I think about you” He stopped for a minute before he continued. “Choose, me or him?”

“You can’t be serious”

��Oh I am. Do you want me or him?” 

This is what Lisa wanted to avoid this whole time but now, she can’t run away. 

next chapter

[majaloveschris]

Hi Maja.

First of all, your blog is one of the only ones I’ve always felt was sincere, on point, respectful, and not toxic. I’ve always had a good feeling about you and how you are kind despite all the toxicity on here.

That feeling has never wavered and there is a big part of me that wants you to be right and win against these ridiculous anons that seem to want to put you down.

An opinion (which I don’t claim to be fact, just some thoughts here): I see a lot of takes on here popping up from blogs that claim they have PR knowledge and claim to be experts and read and follow along the gossip, but I think nobody really knows and they can only hypothesize on what they think is the truth.

I think CE being married (by public knowledge and Wikipedia) was the main goal here. I’ve always sort of felt this, which is why I ultimately was not surprised after he did his SMA spread that he went public with Fish girl and then later on “got married.”

The reason I say this is because HW and society is very judgmental and superficial. Being single or unmarried at a certain age always raises questions whether or not it is valid to do so. I disagree with this sentiment but unfortunately the world is how it is. It happens to regular people, so why wouldn’t it apply to celebs? Especially the ones who have basically become a pop culture icon of being an eligible bachelor/desirable.

Let’s think about this. After 2019, CE was no longer under the marvel umbrella. He had to start defining his post marvel career, and then Covid hit. So many things derailed. He randomly got an IG in 2020 but people found out it had existed as an account since 2019. Perhaps it was always the plan or it was a plan hatched by his PR team to keep him in the public eye. He became relatable internet BF with a Prince Charming storyline of when will he find the one? It was almost overkill from 2020-2022.

Now it’s 2024 and he’s supposedly been with this woman since 2021. It shows longevity and then eventual commitment. He now wears a ring in public so they see him as “settled down.” That’s the image he is now portraying for the public who doesn’t dig or care to deeper in his life.

I don’t think it’s about rebranding to attract a younger audience - if so, his pr team would have realized that gen Z actually does not fare well to age gaps and the subject of grooming and etc always comes up for this hypersensitive on PC/wokeness generation. Then add on the racism and weird ass crap from her/her friends. Definitely not boding well for a generation that lives on the internet and knows how to deep dive. His PR team would have looked at how the public reacted to other relationships like this and I feel, if it was simply he was in love with her and it was real real, would have told him to keep it on the DL DL until it was absolutely certain they had walked down the aisle. At that point, there would be no turning back.

But they marketed this before that happened. They wanted to portray her as the one similar to how in movies, they want to portray a main character and love interest as meant to be even if the audience may or may not receive it that way. How many times do we hear “this movie tanked because the leads had no chemistry and the relationship they wanted us to believe was not believable?”

But ultimately, the endgoal of if CE and his wife are a good couple or not doesn’t really matter. They have achieved their goal of he is now settled down and no longer on the market. If you choose to continue to follow him, stay for his career and not his personal life. Meanwhile, her - well, they’ll keep trying to make her happen because her end of the deal was getting more visibility and breaking into the American market. That much has been clear.

But you can lead a horse to water, you can’t make it drink.

What she chooses to do with the opportunities given to her are left to be seen. Also, how the public and CE/her fanbases chooses to receive them are also left to be seen.

Will this marriage last forever? I have doubts. But I do think they considered many options and this is what they came up with. I also don’t believe CE’s actions show he is very happy with the arrangement, even less so than fish is. Because even from the subtle clues from photos and “videos” - body language does not lie.

To be fair to fish, I doubt she’s in love with him either. I think she’s getting more benefits from this because most of the negativity is being directed towards him, not her. His fans hating and harassing her are just a pinnacle of what he’s receiving from his own fanbase. Some people will disagree with me but he’s the one getting the P and G and disgusting comments and being called the worst person on earth because he married her. His own fans are turning on him and her fans can also blame him but victimize her. The general public doesn’t care too much but will say how he looks because he got with her. She remains “innocent” of any blame because at the end, she is young and he is older so he should know better. Do you see what I mean?

Meanwhile, her fans are just happy she’s getting attention and somebody to fund her poor attempts at becoming a fashion icon. She lacks in talent and work ethic but it’s an easy way for her to get engagement by being attached to him.

The day this ends and she no longer has his name will be interesting and that’s what I think his fans (remaining) are hoping for. They don’t want to reward laziness and clout chasing opportunist and I too support this. They want HIM to be better and find success and love himself more so he doesn’t continue to end up in these shitty situations. But again, he has to want that for himself. He has to want to deserve better so he can work on actually deserving of better.

I hope I didn’t offend anyone with this opinion. Just my thoughts and I support YOU. I hope things work out in the end in your favor because you are a great person and I selfishly want you to be right (haha). ❤️

I completely agree with everything that you wrote down. 

I remember seeing people criticize him for saying he wants to get married and have a family, yet he is still single and childless. As you said, it's stupid that people are being bullied and judged because they haven't already settled down, even if they wanted to. Finding a partner is hard, and finding a partner in his shoes is even harder. I obviously don't know whether he actually wants all of that, but saying he must not want all of that because he didn't do so is not right. A lot of people struggle with finding a good partner. 

I never agreed with people calling him by the P and G words. I guess these people either don't know what those words mean or are simply that mad as Chris that they feel the need to spread lies. He is not those things and never was. Yeah, 16 years is a lot, but she was a grownup when they allegedly met, and I think people exaggerate when they say she looks like a child. 

I think the reason most people are hateful towards him is because they are disappointed in him. I think most people had an idea about the person he is based on the information we had, and him being married to someone like her or even dating someone like her doesn't really fit into that. People aren't disappointed in her because most didn't even know who she was before Chris. We were just presented with her actual self, and we didn't have any expectations from her. But we had for him. 

I doubt either of them is in love with each other. Alba doesn't seem that happy or comfortable around him either. I think this is just business for both of them.

I still think he is a good man who made a terrible mistake. I just hope the best for him, to be honest, which I know is an unpopular opinion now because it seems like wanting the worst for him is what is trendy nowadays. Maybe I'm naive; maybe I'm just holding onto an image, but I don't think the last 20+ years were a lie. I hope he will prove me right. 

Thanks for writing this down and for being there. ♥

[bigbandithewada]

Feeling like putting down my find so here is

JV/Ant Davidson Timeline

(Can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on all info, can’t guarantee no bias no projection, not using there full names because guess what, so less info about them together if you google their names together my blog appears on the 1st page)

JV was raised in Switzerland. Did math and computer science in Switzerland. He found out he needed an engineer background to enter F1 so went back to England to get a master in that. Got to work at BAR(later Honda, Brawn, Merc) eventually. (He had a billion interview on him hustling his way to BAR but that’s not relevant to the story here)

Ant was raised in a middle class family. Went to Karting with brother and he was more interested and started to compete in Karting. He worked his way to Formula Ford and was lucky to get a sponsorship( the sponsor bought a house and let him lived there). His sponsor talked to him about career choice, at that time, test driver made a decent amount of money and that f1 seat seems a bit too distant. So Ant ended up in BAR around the same time as JV

Well JV was not that much of an engineering guy. His job going into Honda was a combination of some data analysis, coordination between departments and some engineer. There was no proper strategist job back in the days so he just bounced around. (The untold interview he said he was suppose to fix an electronic problem on the front wing, Evan Short ended up doing that. Not saying that he knew nothing but inferring from his other interview, he definitely needed help). (Even now strategist have “low” status in the team since only the principal strategist can go to the track and everyone back home’s job is make sure to feed enough info through TR that the principal’s eyes are always on track).

Meanwhile, Ant was doing amazing as a test driver, too amazing that Honda was reluctant to release him to do actual f1 racing. He missed a seat(which team I forgot) but Honda eventually agreed to let him race for Super Aguri in 2007. That team didn’t last.

Then came the Brawn year. Before 2009, JV and Ant were already starting to worry about their jobs and registered a company together. Company never took off because here comes Brawn GP.

After the championship, our champ Jenson was scheduled to do victory laps in the factory for the fans but he already buggered off to McLaren. Ant did the laps and JV was his engineer for that.

Then came the Merc years.

Ant was doing a bunch of different things then: racing in WEC, driving the Merc simulator and later became a sky sport host. Ant missed the chance of winning a championship(he also missed a podium due to bad luck in 2007) but he got one eventually. When Alonso returned to F1, Ant interviewed him asking if Alonso remembered them racing against each other in WEC, Alonso did not remember. Ant also did Jenson’s retirement interview. Ant also did some interview later saying he was too nice to be competing in this shark tank of f1, nice guy can’t win races.

JV was doing a bunch of different things in Merc as well. He was in charge of simulator, junior team, esport team and development data analysis software for premier league(honorable mention: he wrote the drivers code of conduct in 2016 to prevent Lewis and Nico fighting). Ant was a reliable simulator driver, JV was working a lot with Ant at that time(JV didn’t need to be present for the crowd strike thing but he was there…) (Also they Merc’s equipment to tune cars for their friend’s Karting league, naughty boys). I want to believe JV cares about drivers he works with, especially junior team (he went up to hug Esteban Ocon(Merc junior driver) after his 2021 Hungarian gp win(Merc strategy was a disaster that race)

Ant said JV is one of his best friends. He phoned JV a lot during the Honda and Brawn years. Ant also texted JV to ask for technical details when he started to comment for Sky( Ant joked in 2023 pre season test that JV is getting to busy with his TP job to reply to his texts). JV also bugged Ant for a VIP pass during Ant’s LeMans years. JV had spent time with Ant’s family doing barbecue for JV’s birthday. JV is Ant’s kids’ god father.

Projection time: Brawn and Merc years treated JV so well he probably is a bit idealist about things now. The stuff he said at Williams make sense if your work experience is a streak of championships. JV will probably never get a reality check so hard the way Ant exit F1(divorce? Idw). Knowing they are good friends make me happy.

(Some source from Ant’s deleted twitter account)

[aziraphales-library]

Thank you so much for all that you do! I've found so many good fics from your recommendations ♥️

Do you know of any that involve Crowley being homeless or otherwise seriously struggling financially? Thank you!

I have read one with this theme, Divine Restorations and Repairs, so I'd love to rec that too! It's fantastic.

We have some fics in which Crowley is struggling financially here. And I've got a few more in which Crowley has problems with money/housing...

Copper and gold by Joseph_Amadeus (M)

Aziraphale doesn't pick up hitchhikers but he can't help himself when he sees Crowley getting steadily wetter in the rain one night.

Be Still My Soul: The Romance by MirjamOmens (E)

It’s the summer of 1917 in the Grand Duchy of Finland. The Great War rages over Europe, and the empire of Russia, of which Finland is still part, has suffered a revolution. For Azirafel Fjäll, a minor landowner and a shop runner, all these things are only mildly annoying inconveniences. His dear friend, Anton J. Crowley, is not as fortunate. The working-class people struggle to make a living in a world where there's a constant shortage of food, fuel and work. Despite their class differences, Azirafel and Anton have been friends since childhood--and both secretly yearn for more. Can their two hearts find each other as their country heads from one crisis to another? Or will the ever widening gap between their worlds keep them apart?

Sharp Objects by ElderlySardine (M)

Back in the mid-nineties, Aziraphale and Crowley had it all. They were friends, lovers, soulmates. Life was hard, but as long as they were together it didn't matter. Then in one catastrophic fight caused by Aziraphale's cruel, coercive brother Gabriel, the whole thing came crashing down. The boys parted company for good. Now it's 2021. Life has spun Crowley and Aziraphale in very different directions before throwing them back together at their lowest ebb. Can they manage to hide their history from their new friends? Can they forgive each other, and themselves? Could there possibly still be something there between them? And with Gabriel still lurking on the horizon, will they be strong enough to do anything about it?

The Ghost of Husbands Past by A_N_D (E)

Az always knew that he’d be thrown out the moment his father found out he was gay. He hadn’t expected to be declared dead though - or for his husband to believe it! But their marriage had been a foolish teenage impulse (not to mention invalid in America), so when Az moved to a small town far upstate New York to start his new life, he moved alone. The kindest thing he could do was let Crowley mourn and move on, not be shackled for life to a now disabled partner. Tony Crowley never recovered from losing his best friend, his childhood sweetheart, his better half. He’d been drifting ever since; no plans, no hope, no money - and now, just before Thanksgiving, no job either. Given the stark choice of freezing to death or accepting his sister’s invitation to join her upstate, Tony reluctantly lives out the Hallmark cliche of Recently Unemployed Person Moves to Small Town for Christmas. It’s a time of hope, love, and family. It’s time for Az and Tony to find each other again.

Magpie by southdownsraph (E)

Ezra has just been hired as a bartender at an underground LGBT nightclub to help supplement his income while he studies for his master’s, and he can’t help but become infatuated with one of the performers, an exotic dancer who goes by the name AJ.

And the one you mentioned...

Divine Restorations & Repairs by skimmingthesurface, SylWritesStuff (E)

While it's unfortunate for one’s car to break down in the middle of the countryside, the pretty-as-a-postcard Tadfield could hardly be considered the worst place Anthony J. Crowley has ever been. Of course, it doesn’t help that it looks like it hasn’t yet seen the turn of the millennia, let alone this decade, but perhaps that’s just what he needs as he crawls his way out of the Hell he’s endured for the past fifteen years. Maybe the last thirty, if he's honest with himself. Though he could do without the rain. When Aziraphale Fell happens upon him and offers him shelter from the storm in his little family-run antique repair shop, neither are expecting it to change everything. The angel with his white umbrella and his tartan bowtie doesn’t expect this mysterious stranger to be able to fill the timely vacancy in his shop or the quiet of his life, but they’ve both had experience in restoring once-beloved items back to their full glory. Perhaps Crowley hasn’t fallen quite so far that he wouldn’t fit in with the rest of Aziraphale’s ragtag team of eccentric restoration experts. And perhaps they may be able to turn that talent on themselves and each other, and seal the cracks in their own hearts.

- Mod D

[accio-victuuri]

Sugar Rush : November CPNs

What started out as a relatively quiet month after a chaotic October, turned into something else because of a few candies. Especially the whole 11/19 fiasco that surprised us all. LOL. As usual, this is for cpn-loving turtles only. Keep an open mind but still clown responsibly. I can’t believe we only have one month left for this year!

If you wanna recap other years I have archived : 2021 ( one | two ) 2022 ( one | two ) 2023 ( one, july, august, september, october ) 2020 candies and some other sweets before I was doing round up posts may be found on my masterlist.

Let’s review the past month…

• Some side by side / parallel photos of GG ( Tod’s Milan ) and WYB ( Chanel Shenzhen ). They are both photographed with the very beautiful Liu ShiShi. Also the way they are the center of attention. KINGS! 👑

• hoping they play tennis together 🎾 ; there is also a cpn out there about yibo being fully prepared for the game cause he had lacoste shoes and bag then a jacket that he used in wuzhen. people are speculating that XZ bought stuff for him to use cause he is the one who knows more and thought of this brand. this may seem like a stretch but you never know with this fandom when a seemingly insignificant observation becomes a big candy along the way.

• 2021 vs 2023 beach photos similarities + xiamen coincidence and it’s connection to ZZ’s ideal life painting

• LHK ( Liu Haikuan ) giving clues about BJYX? + Part 2 of comments

11/7, GG was announced as Boucheron’s global brand ambassador, then people remembered that one time WYB wore stuff from the brand. So now we have an unintentional couple jewelry incidence😂😂

• the sound of an eagle 🦅

• some similarities in forwarding 119 message, yeah i know celebrities like them are sort of required to bring attention to stuff like this. however, WYB is known to support this cause and even made a VCR specifically for it. if you look at the actual post, theirs is the top 2 in terms of likes and the rest of the celebrities are not the usual ones similar to the boys’ caliber. Another clue that this is WYB’s advocacy of sorts, most, if not all top comments are from his fans. so ZZ joining in on spreading the message seems ( to me and some cpfs ) like influenced by WYB.

Next is they both filmed VCRs for "People in My Heart" - "Classic Characters" series. We just love seeing them support the same projects ^^

• NARS live drawing

• Candies from WYB’s 11/12 douyin post. Mainly the parallel about the same walls and floor.

• XZ fell asleep on WYB during the golden core scene

• Interpreting YBO’s 11/16 weibo caption

• 11/19/23 double update candies

• similar necklace??? ( cough in vain )

• the full story ( so far ) behind 11/19 📝

• Talking about this a bit late considering when the whole CPN started about this GG mural for GG. There are side by side comparisons of the eyes on the mural and Yibo’s. The CPN being they used WYB’s eyes for that mural.

I usually let people have free reign on clowning but this one isn’t for me personally. just because it’s obviously a mural commissioned by GUCCI which a big brand that couldn’t care less about the CP. Maybe it’s a coincidence how similar it is? Because there is a reference photo that should be followed. Also, this is GG’s time to shine. This mural is his & him. I think this is an example for cpfs to learn to separate the boys as individuals, especially for things that are work related and most especially their achievements. While I do believe they influence each other greatly, it’s important to not make every single thing a romantic relation.

• the mystery driver is seen again 👀

• 11/22 Yibo scenery post 🍬

• One night in Beijing Song + 11/23 XZS post

• I don’t really wanna clown with Redmi but the black and white theme from XZS and then the next day it’s Redmi. I was surprised with this cause all the promos were supposed to be related to the scifi themed ad blockbuster!

A coincidence 👀👀👀👀

• small candies form IQIYI scream night 😱

• wyb acknowledging light signs and calls us wangba

• XZ’s 11/27 Airport and Selfie Clues

• there is some talk with BXGs regarding WYB’s redmi appearance, it looks like he was bitten by the mosquito again. lol. I usually just find cpn like this funny cause there is always deniability. also hello to the mosquito who loves to bite the center of his neck.

I’m separating these next entries cause it’s not new. I just found myself revisiting bts content and clowning about it. old candy still tastes good! 💯

WYB signs 520 to GG

WYB’s small steps to GG but robe gets caught

Something is funny and XZ has to tell WYB

Flirting and Fighting? “WYB’s love you”

XZ got hurt and WYB said he is gonna kiss it better?

-END.

[frostytherobot]

Alright. Because I’m thinking about Creep as a film series because they just announced more Creep in the form of THE CREEP TAPES (I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG… it’s not a movie but a TV SHOW!!!) I’m just gonna ramble a little bit about why those movies are so important to me.

First, though:

^ That’s my Creep tattoo. I got it over a year ago and show it off whenever I can.

So, onward.

I watched the first Creep movie for the first time during quarantine lockdown. It was like March of 2021? (Hold on, let me link the episode of my podcast for that.) (Yup. Don’t mind my pre-T voice.) That was like one of the loneliest times of my life. You know how it was, you were there, too. Fucking. Awful. I felt like there was just this bubble of sadness around me and nobody could get through to me. Sure, I had friends I could talk to over the internet, but that can only get you so far. Especially when they have their own lives and you can’t see them face to face.

One night, my two best college buddies and I decided we should watch it for our podcast. That was the one thing we could do that we could talk to each other consistently with, so we went for it. And, fuck. You can hear in that episode how freaked out that movie made us! We talk about human behaviors and the compulsion to kill and where that stems from, the relationship between politeness and gender roles, and lot of other related topics in that episode. It’s a smart film that knows how to suck you into the reality; you see these two men up close and personal, their odd behaviors, and the found footage formatting and intimate setting make you feel as though you are there witnessing all of this with them. As them. Those awkward moments make you cringe; watching Josef admit to stalking Aaron, catching Josef on the lies, tubby time. Oh, god, tubby time.

And then there was the ending. The moment where the camera is left in the car, you’re left in the car, and you just have to watch as Josef puts on the Peachfuzz wolf mask, flourishes his jacket, and buries that axe into Aaron’s head. The shot is static. It’s matter-of-fact, and that’s why it’s so horrifying. He’s dead. You followed this shy, awkward guy on his journey getting to know an oddball all the way to the lake, and he’s dead now. And then, the murderous oddball looks directly into the camera, and while he says Aaron’s name, he’s looking at you as he says, “That is why I love you. And that is why you will always be my favorite. Of them all.” Like he was thanking you for witnessing this event.

I felt like there was someone behind me for hours afterward. Josef had somehow gotten into my home. And that’s how it started.

Months later, we watched the second one. (Episode link here.) Of course we loved it. I loved it. It wasn’t as scary as the first one, but the intimacy and emotional connection was still there. That feeling of watching two people through their own eyes was still there. Only this time, they were trying to out-weird each other, or at least come together on a level they could both understand. The thing is, they were still misunderstanding each other. Sara is only comfortable with Josef’s Aaron’s freakiness because she thought he was lying to her when he wasn’t. The moment she starts to take it seriously is when she decides to leave, and that’s when Josef Aaron pulls out the lies and the deceit to bring her back in. And when she comes back in, that’s when she starts being genuine, letting her guard down, and that’s when she gets into trouble. She starts to believe in the watered-down version of Josef Aaron, seeing the front of softness as a vulnerability in him, and to a point, it is. But she totally disregards everything else that has happened during this day as some kind of ruse, when she should have kept those moments in mind. He’s still a killer, and dangerous, even if he plays it like he isn’t.

Sara ultimately pays the price for entertaining his whims. I guess Aaron did, too, but in a different way. While Aaron died and became a part of Josef, Sara now cannot get rid of him. He tries to kill her, and she runs, refusing his gift of death and absorption into himself, but now he follows her. She’s literally moved on, but like a ghost or a bad dog with attachment issues, he still follows her. He gave her his heart, after all.

And then I got to putting two and two together on why exactly all of this was appallingly appealing to me. I was alone. I was drifting further into this state of paradoxical nothing-pain. And suddenly, I was being welcomed into a dynamic in which I was wanted. It was an obsessive want, but I was wanted. He got me. They all did. Josef, Aaron, Sara. Suddenly I’m seeing aspects of my loneliness on screen. The slow reveal of the odd personality traits, the waiting to see the reaction. Pulling those traits back in when they’re not met with the tolerance I wish was there. The staying when I feel so uncomfortable because I want to understand. Upping the ante in an act of bonding. Feeling like I’ve found someone who’s on my wavelength, only to find they weren’t as okay with the whole me as I thought. The sudden urge to end it all. To kill the relationships. Move on, knowing they were dead, but I could still have the memories. They were getting distant. I could do it, you know. Just end it all right then.

Of course, I didn’t do that. But I felt it. I felt it a lot during that time.

I’ve not been super mentally healthy over my time being alive. I’ve been hospitalized for it. Not a fun experience, by the way. But that was another aspect that just drew me closer to Peachfuzz. He’s funny, and weird, and unstable. Always lying to appeal to the people around him because he wants them to stay, for sincere and sinister reasons. He’s terrible and lonely. I was terrible and lonely.

And there it was. Crystal clear. Los aguas milagros de corazón. I was taking comfort in a manifestation of something dark that I saw in myself. A mischievous, funny, isolated, totally fucked-in-the-head, murderous darkness. I wasn’t alone in that room anymore, and yeah, perhaps my company should’ve been something not so, well, creepy, but I thanked him for being there. I could put a face with the feeling, and the nothing-pain started going away.

He’s a friend of mine now. And I love him a lot.

[nessatwene-art]

Hey Nessa!

So I remember reading your BlueSky Thread about the Poten Project where you mentioned how Lucas and Robyn are NOT eachother’s endgame as far as romance is concerned despite them being the main characters, but instead they’re both in relationships with other people!

I found this to be… incredibly refreshing and delightful!

I can’t mention how many times I’ve watched a show where the main character(s) gets with someone else for awhile and it actually seems like a way more interesting relationship to follow over the actual endgame couple that just feels stale and predictable. Best example I can think of is the wasted potential of Danny Phantom and Valerie Gray😞

So for the question portion of this, what made you take the stance on Lucas and Robyn not being endgame? Was it just natural that you could never see them together? Was it originally planned for them to be together but altered overtime once you knew the characters more and made new ones (Clarissa and Kenzie)? Were you trying to make a statement of sorts?

I’d love to know your full thought process!

Whats so funny is im a Valerie and Danny shipper too. They were so peak!

I have these characters for a long time so i definitely thought about making them endgame at some point. I think mostly the time around when i was in high school but it didn't really pique my interest especially as I started reworking the story. I believe characters can compliment each not just through a romantic relationship, which is why I became very fond of their friendship, I just really enjoyed them as friends. I think it's not really seen in media of this genre or similar and it's a good opportunity to explore that.

I made Kenzie only less than 4 years ago, which is crazy bc Lucas, Robyn, Clarissa, and Mark are about to be 10 years old this year. Kenzie I made her as a joke one-off mean girl character for a hypothetical baseball episode

(first doodles form 2021 bob jumpscare)

I never intended for for Lucas and Kenzie to be a canon thing back then but I put them in miitopia and I found their interactions very cute. I started drawing them more and Kenzie quickly became a one-off to a main character. I really like thinking about their dynamic, mean girl and jerk boy who hate each end up together, its very fun to me.

(Lukenzie images. fun fact: Lucas falls first HA)

Omg Clarobbie. SO Clarobbie came out of me making them really close besties in the beginning that I naturally started gravitating towards them being in a relationship. but I wanted a way to make their dynamic feel interesting which was thing i felt was missing. I started playing persona game a lot last year and they reminded so much Chie and Yukiko who had a charming prince-princess dynamic. It was there but I started leaning into that way more. Especially with Clarissa's crush on her being much more apparent and there being a active love triangle with Robyn's ex bestie from her old school.

(clarobbie moodboard hehe)

My thing about ships is I try to have a dynamic I'm able to explore narratively. I try not to force it, if it doesn't work then it doesn't work. I think that's why I didn't make Lucas and Robyn endgame since their dynamic and narrative doesn't rely on romance.

[lnsynth]

O GREAT PFX LIKER CAN U EXPLAIN THE DISCONTINUATION THING TO ME PLS 💔💔

Sure thing! I’ll tell you everything I know— (under the cut because it’s kind of long lol)

In 2017, PowerFX distanced itself from Vocaloid and Vocaloid development after the CEO of the time Bil Bryant left, announcing that they would no longer be making new Vocaloids. Bil was pretty much what was keeping PFX on Vocaloid and without him, the rest of PFX had no interest in more Vocaloids. Around that time, I believe PowerFX stopped selling physicals and their site basically only sold the download versions of their Vocaloids. PowerFX moved to focus on their new project, Soundation, which is an online DAW that was more profitable for them than the Vocaloids. Soundation managed the PowerFX website and provided support for the Vocaloids/Vocaloid sales and maintained the distribution for the next few years, though their ability to maintain quick and consistent support kind of got worse as the years went on. (This was honestly kind of a sign that the discontinuation of sales would occur soon…)

Historically, PowerFX’s Vocaloids were also sold on Sonicwire (Crypton’s site for selling Vocaloids and other music software), though I believe PFX/Soundation doesn’t manage the sales of the banks on this storefront. Sometime in either 2023 or 2024, Big Al’s bank indefinitely went out of stock and you were no longer able to purchase it. I found out a little bit ago that if you are able to find his product page that it mentions that the product is discontinued, so I believe that there’s no plans on Sonicwire’s end to restock Al (or that they can’t.)

Earlier this month, members of the Vocaloid community noticed that PFX’s site had gone down and now redirected to Soundation’s site. We didn’t really know why, or if it was temporary or something else. We found out today that Soundation added a new piece to their site that basically explains that maintaining the sales of their Vocaloids is basically no longer feasible for their team and that they will no longer sell them and have no plans to sell them again in the future. They also say that their Vocaloid software was pretty outdated and there’s no real incentive to continue to sell them. So basically Soundation confirmed that PFX/Soundation will no longer sell their Vocaloid voicebanks.

As for now, 4/5 of the PFXloids are still available on Sonicwire, though I heard that Sweet Ann is out of stock too. Unless they manage to restock her, it’s likely she will be completely unable to be purchased too, like Big Al. Note that Vocaloids seem to have limited stock of serial codes, I think they have to get new ones from Yamaha or another party (not entirely sure about this stuff, but I just know that stocks of serial codes are limited.) Since Ann and Al are out of stock, it’s very likely that Oliver, Hio, and Ruby will also go out of stock on Sonicwire sometime soon too.

While technically not fully discontinued as some of the banks are still available on Sonicwire, the PFXloids are very likely to be fully discontinued soon!

There is hope for future banks though, if you’re interested in that, as the team behind Maghni AI is still working on Oliver AI and are very likely to also make Maghni banks for Ruby, Sweet Ann, and Big Al, as teased in their indiegogo campaign. No new voicebank is planned for YOHIOloid right now though due to the 2021 controversy with his voice provider, though VocaTone never super officially said that they wouldn’t update Hio (they highly implied that they wouldn’t on their personal social medias, but I couldn’t find an official statement on their business accounts stating such.)

Basically—PowerFX’s Vocaloid sales are now over and will not be returning. You may still be able to purchase some of the banks on Sonicwire, but likely not for long. 4/5 of the characters are planned to get an update to Maghni AI.

[doin-just-fine]

What the brain doin?? PT. 1 of a questioning median system's journey

"Why do I think I'm plural?"

Hello!

I am making this post for those who think they are a Median System. I've noticed our community is small and that there aren't many recourses out there to compare experiences to. The few that do exist have been very helpful so I thought I'd add to the pool to compare and contrast with.  In this post I will discuss how I reached the point of believing I am a Median System, why, as of right now, that label fits the best for me, and what my system is like on the inside. 

(THIS IS A SAFE SPACE FOR EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF ORGIN, LABLE, KNOWLEDGE, OR IDENTITY)

How did I get here?

I started learning about what plurality was in 2018 for a college psych course. At that point in time I just found it interesting; fascinated at how the brain reacted to trauma and why it would split off as a way to cope. A tiny part of me thought "am I....?? NAaaah!! I would know!! It would click and everything would all make sense and I would just know!!! Plus I don't have enough trauma." I developed a hyper-fixation on it for a bit but it fizzled out and I didn't reflect on it again for a while. 

In 2021 I took a course that looked at the abstract ideas and philosophies behind what consciousness really is. I decided that for my final research paper in that course I would write about DID and other forms of plurality and what implications their very existence meant for how we define consciousness. After that, the hyper-fixation was reignited. I started to reflect on myself again but came to the same conclusions. Until, I met my now partner, who is a system, in 2022. They taught me a lot about plurality. 

It's a bit fuzzy when I started questioning myself again or why. EDIT: I remembered! I ran out of ADHD medication and had to go without it for a couple weeks. For context, I haven't taken a break from my meds since I started them at age 8 and at the time of running out I was on the highest dose of really strong stuff. After this break I started to notice how much my meds suppressed my emotions and creativity, eventually I got more medication. I then started asking my partner more questions about how they figured it out they were a system, how they knew, what did they do, how did they navigate embracing it, etc. I was a bit obsessive about these questions and it wasn't hyper-fixation level obsessive, this was "I need these answers to survive" level obsessive. I started noticing anxiety around these questions that I had never felt before. Ya know, totally normal singlet stuff. 

I started a notes app note titled "Psychological analysis of myself" after I had a panic attack that felt like someone else was having it through my body. Like genuinely, it snuck up on me (unusual for my anxiety I usually can see it coming a mile a way) and then it felt like my body had the panic attack without me, I was just there along for the ride. It freaked me out, which is why I started the notes app. I started diving into more research on OSSD and more nuanced experiences of plurality that never came up in basic psychology research. 

Then the denial started. Heavy, aggressive, degrading, denial. I pride myself on have decent esteem and self love but this denial laughed in my face. I only felt this once before when I was failing a math class in 2019. It was the first class I had ever been so close to failing I tore myself apart about it. It was so unlike me to be so mean to myself. When having this denial dialogue in my head about how (aggressive language warning) I was attention seeking faker who was just lonely and wanted to feel special, it was always stated in “You are…” statements. For example: “You’re just faking.” “You’re stupid.” “I can’t believe you think this.” When I would have these conversations with myself I would feel myself getting tired. Not tired in a way where I needed a nap but more like a drifting tired. I know this may be connected to dissociation, or switching (unclear).

So in my notes app I would write the thoughts out as they came. I realized I was having a chat with myself. A great app for honestly singlets and plurals to download is ANTAR. It’s an app that lets you chat with you "emotions" to sort out emotional hang ups but if you label the emotions as your alters instead you can chat with your system! These conversations are why I didn’t fully fall back into denial stage.

For a moment I did. I concluded that I was just being silly and dramatic and blowing things out of proportion. But having those conversations on my phone that I could go back to and look at didn’t let me stay there for long. 

I went back and forth on the denial thing for a minute only because I couldn’t find label that fit how I felt about my potential system until I happened across Median System. There was the click. Everything fell into place. I sat and read the definition and just thought “That’s me”.

Why “Median System”

A Median System is describe as 

A median system (also called midcontinuum) is a system where members are not as distinct or separate from each other. It can be considered being somewhere between multiple and singlet.[1] Some are dependent on a single individual, or the dependence can be mutual in that there is no central individual. Some median systems feel more blurred between themselves[2]. Others may also be based around a shared identity or kin. The members of a median system are often described as aspects or facets. Some median systems may identify as different archetypes[1]. Despite being more fluid and similar, median systems can be very diverse. Median systems are often opposed to multiple systems, with multiple systems experiencing more distinction between headmates. Some may also oppose it to partitionary systems, but in fact, median systems can be either partitionary or blurian, as variance in identity and presence or absence of memory sharing do not necessarily go hand-in-hand.

For me, part of the reason that I was in such denial of possibly being plural was because I have little to no amnesia in my day to day but unlike OSDD-1b (which also lacks amnesia) I don’t have distinct others. It felt like me all the time but sometimes adjacent. Someone described the difference as feeling like a snake with multiple heads rather that multiple snakes in a cage. And a Median system it feels like being an individual with multiple consciouses instead of multiple individuals in one body. 

Other ways that I experience my existence are as follows: 

I sometimes use plural first pronouns when referring to myself because before this realization I would be talking about myself and my brain as separate from me.

I used to joke that I felt like a system that just never fractured. 

The way people describe masking but for me it feel like a more extreme level, where I’m not TRYING to change my behavior, it just sorta happens and I’m “someone else”. What I called masking felt more like skipping songs in a playlist to get to the right one instead of putting on a mask. 

Another thing I experience is sometimes I expect to see a different face in the mirror and I get weirded out while still recognizing that, that is me and my face. 

This one might be a stretch but I have seen other Median Systems mention it. I notice that proper singlets have 1 go to aesthetic. It may change over the years but that typically have 1. I have never been able to consistently identify with 1 aesthetic I typically cycle through several. Specifically for me it's punk, grunge, hippy, cottage academia, and dark academia. With a funky gender identity on top of all that.

I wrote this post on and off over the course of a few hours and I lost my train of thought. Please let me know if you have questions, clarifications, comments, or your own stories. My asks are open. I will probably speak more on this at a later date.

[olysmile]

𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞 🎭

‼️On this story all the names will be fake for obvious reasons. I also wanna apologize if I do any mistakes with my English because the story will be big and English isn’t my first language. Thanks for the understanding‼️

Let’s go back to 2021. We had quarantine and all social media platforms were on fire, since everyone was using them. This was the time me and my sister, Marlena, opened an account on discord.

The reason I mainly opened the account was to join on a server of my favourite gamers and stay updated and also make friends. And as it seems, I did. I started talking to the voice channels with my sister, and I met some people there, including my online bffs, Karen and Violet. One day, another girl we were talking with, Elisa, introduced us to her online girlfriend, Courtney. She was some years older than her, and if you want me to make it more specific, Elisa was a minor and Courtney was an adult. We were talking really often with them until we found out that they broke up. Elisa was devastated with that heartbreak and she was trying to get Courtney back… But someday, Courtney’s sister texted her and told her that she killed herself. All of us on the gc we had made were in total shock. We couldn’t believe that something like that happened(if only we knew….)

Many months later (2022) Elisa informed us that Courtney was back. Surprisingly, she never died. She indeed attempted suicide, but she didn’t make it to death. She also told us that she had moved to Brooklyn (she was half American) and she changed her name to “Kate”… For a weird reason, all of us moved past that faster than we should and we started talking again. Someday, me and the other girls were on a call and she joined. She told us that she wanted to introduce us to her new girlfriend, who also happened to be a singer(I can’t say her name sadly). We told her that she surely can bring her, but she told us she was too shy to talk and she was on mute. They also told us that we shouldn’t tell anyone about their relationship because of the girl’s fame. And some weeks after… “Kate” and her girlfriend disappeared again….

…And now things are getting interesting…

Even after their disappearance, I was still following the singer’s tik tok account… I was scrolling through her old videos, watching some videos from a trip she’s been with her BOYFRIEND…

That video was posted the time she and Courtney/Kate were still dating…. I was incredibly confused about how in the world was that possible… was she a cheater, or something else I couldn’t explain? For once again, I didn’t pay much attention….

A year after, on Summer 2023, me and Marlena met Karen and Violet for the first time. We were sitting on a cafeteria and Karen was talking about how things are going to that gaming server we met back then… She is working as a moderator there and she was talking to us about the other members of the staff team. She told us that there was a new girl who would work with them. A girl who was half Korean and her name was pronounced “Tzyhio”. Karen told us that something wasn’t ok with that girl. She was completely sure that her voice sounded exactly like Courtney’s/Kate’s…. We couldn’t do much about this back then, because we didn’t have anything to prove that.

And now we move to 2024….

Karen and Violet, who were more active on discord than me and Marlena, were telling us that everything about Tzyhio were completely off. Tzyhio was known for being a police officer in Seoul, working at the department of Drug Enforcement. She was a woman in her mid 20s , who has as her bestie another moderator from that server named Lily. Also, Lily was dating Tzyhio’s Greek cousin for a while. Her name was Mary.

Let me tell you a funny story from the time they were dating. Lily had a meetup with another moderator, Gloria and the staff manager, Martin. They were taking some cool pictures together as all the online friends do when they meet up, and Gloria received a text from Mary, telling her to be careful with how she acts around Lily.

At first we thought it she just got jealous. But later Violet found some old texts from a group chat on instagram and that she was texting this account… but on that time, this account didn’t belong to Mary. It belonged to Courtney/Kate.

So without further ado, the whole July 2024, me, Marlena, Karen, Violet, Gloria, Elisa, Martin and some other friends of ours who were working on the server’s staff team, were trying to find proper evidence and prove that Courtney/Kate, the ‘singer girlfriend’, Tzyhio and Mary were all the same person.

We had evidence for everything. We already knew that the singer had a boyfriend, so there was no way to be able to date Courtney. Violet was texting Courtney from her old account on instagram, which turned out to be Mary.

Connecting all these with Tzyhio wasn’t that hard. All the photos she was sharing with the staff on their personal gc, were photos from a different person. In addition, the photos she was sharing of a woman wearing a police officer’s uniform, were edited. The name on the name tag was erased with a lame photoshop and was rewritten with her last name.

Here is an exapmle. If you look closer to that photo, you’ll see that it’s edited and that the name on this tag is covered:

When we found enough information that were valid to expose that girl, we talked to Lily. She didn’t know anything about it until Martin explained the situation to her. She was broken. She couldn’t believe that her best friend was a total psychopath. She was crying for hours. In the meantime, Martin talked to Tzyhio/Courtney. Of course he kicked her out of the staff team and they banned her permanently from the server. Later that day she texted Lily sending her an apology message, telling her that she did all these things because she wanted to be special. If you ask me, this was the stupidest thing I could ever hear.

This girl is definitely sick and she needs help from an expert. We don’t know where she is now or if she’ll ever appear again with another name and persona. If we get any news, we’ll surely get you informed.

The only thing I want to say to everyone reading this: Don’t trust anyone completely on the internet. You can’t be sure about what they are capable of….