#i can steal a little lestat/nikkie backstory as a treat

[rainbowstrashpile]

I can’t write but I’ve been struck by an idea of a random vampire visiting the household and thinking that Guillermo is a reincarnation of his long dead lover and Nandor getting SUPER JEALOUS over this strange vampire making all the moves

Ooohhh this is such a good idea! If I wasn't busy with another fic...That being said if anybody wants to take a crack at this feel free to go hog wild of course.

I like the idea that it happens at the dinner party we saw in episode 9 while Nandor is trying to super slumber but Guillermo is dummy thicc and the clap of his ass keeps waking Nandor. Now what should our oc look like? It's some tall and built handsome guy with long dark hair (Guillermo has a type imo) who immediately freezes when he sees Guillermo and holds both of his hands in his.

"It's you!"

And at first Guillermo is trying to pull his hands away like "yeah, it's me. Can I help you?"

And the guy is like, "You don't understand! I had thought you lost to me for all time. Yet here you stand, air in your lungs and flesh on your bones. You were my most beloved, all those years ago! When I was still a mortal man I pledged my love to you and only you. We were poor but we were happy. But one night I was stolen away by a vampire and turned. I didn't think you could love what I had become. And in your despair, thinking you had been abandoned, you died of a broken heart. From then on I swore I would wander the earth alone as a punishment. I deserved an eternity of suffering, for causing you such pain."

Nadja, unknown to everyone else, is poking her head in like wtf is taking Gizmo so long this evening needs to go perfectly, and sees a vampire pledging his undying love to him. And she's like fuuuuuuuck if Nandor wakes up and sees Gizmo in this guy's lap he's gonna fucking lose it. The only people in the whole world who don't know they're in love are Nandor and Gizmo themselves. Everything is going to be ruined if he randomly comes downstairs and goes ape shit she doesn't care about his feelings it's just that she has a lot riding on tonight

Meanwhile our OC is already down on one knee like, "Now that we are together once again, it would kill me to let you go. Please, I beg of you, forsake this mortal coil, and join me for all eternity!"

And Guillermo is like, "oh this is happening very quickly I need a minute could you just give me like a second." And goes to hyperventilate somewhere private for a moment because on one hand, he'd be stupid not to vampire marry this guy. He's handsome and already very in love. But he's seen that go south with Nadja and Jeff already. And like, what if Guillermo isn't anything like the guy who he was in love with? Like Jeff wasn't like Gregor? And he doesn't even know this guy! What if he kind of sucks or something? And he's still in love with Nandor!

But Nandor is being a just an unbelievably selfish asshole right now. And maybe the worst thing that can happen is Guillermo gets to be a vampire and it doesn't work out with this guy and they part ways. No big deal right?

Meanwhile, Nadja is upstairs waking Nandor up like, "Knock knock you stupid bitch guess what? Someone is going to sweep Gizmo off his little feet and out of your life forever if you don't get up and shoot your shot."

And for a hot second he's like, "I don't care I'm slumbering whatever."

And Nadja just goes well fair warning I told you. Your little peach boy isn't going to be here when you wake up like you wanted. And Nandor is like fine I will take just a peak. Just to make sure.

Lo and behold there's some vampire following Guillermo around like, "I beseech you my beloved, take my hand and we shall away from this terrible place!"

Nandor is like, "Now wait one fucking minute!"

And you get the scene where Nadja is like, "Oooohhh, you! I totally and completely thought you were dead because I did such a thorough and good job of killing you. I guess you're alive but not at all mad at me or anything like that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And also you're going to let me continue to run the vampiric council because while you're not busy you should admit you weren't good at it."

Anyway, Nandor and the OC end up doing increasingly stupid feats of strength for Guillermo's hand. Something just brain meltingly stupid like who can eat the most batteries. Colin Robinson makes them lipsync (it's his birthday he gets to choose one of the challenges). Who can hold silver the longest. Guillermo has to stop them from having a who can drink the most holy water challenge. The climax of which is Guillermo going, "Why should I stay with you when I have this guy who is clearly in love with me? You're just going to go into a super slumber right? It's not like you'll miss me or anything! So it's no big deal. It's not like you're also in love with me or anything."

And then Nandor finally has to admit to himself that yes, he's in love with Guillermo and if he doesn't say it now he's going to lose him. And probably have to see him at the vampire orgies and that will be super weird. So he says, "Fine, I love you."

Anyway our OC is like "I will prove I love you the most!" And chugs holy water and like, explodes. So problem solved! Nandor wins by default and by admitting his feelings!