#i can monitor myself while i drink . but ill choose to drink vc i feel awful . n weed isnt enough or my other mexhanisms arent enough
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also ive learned to shut up when i drink but i gotts learn to jus stop drinking compleyely ybh
#its . idk its a weird relationship i was an alcoholic n im not#but i am a substsnce abuser . bhr my drinking while in control wjen i Choose to . can be#out of my control in the sense tbat . ill dri k bc i feel shitty n wanna feel better or feeling destructivr or wtv like#i can monitor myself while i drink . but ill choose to drink vc i feel awful . n weed isnt enough or my other mexhanisms arent enough#like sorry theres smth so not fun abt ur brain headnailing u w bullshit for 12hrs n#u try So Hard to cope healthily w hobbies n lil things u know to do. bht when its hitting that 11he msrk sawg.#get a fucking shot in mw i Cannot Take It Anymore i need to gdt Fucked Uo#n thats hittinf me a lot lately.#for the record i am a stoner more than i am an alco. but idk gow mych if that is bc of my job#tues n thurs my knly days off n its t0#50/50 if ill go out n get drunk tbh
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