#i can accept compliments and not be self deprecating and socially insufferable in that way but it definitely affects the way i perceive my

[baravaggio]

not that compliments are everything but idk why I constantly feel like this hideous beast when I get compliments on my appearance from strangers daily like I feel like everyone’s conspiring to pull one over on me because I simply don’t believe it internally. which is crazy and annoying and yet

[mrsmaybank]

Crushing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.”

A/N: I love baby genius, season one Reid so much. I wanted to give him a soulmate. Soulmate is you: shy and also a baby genius. Okay, thanks for reading. This was honestly just for me. 

CW: Implied Smut, Mild Cursing, shitty writing 

“Who...Who is that?” Dr. Spencer Reid, debatably the wordiest boy Derek Morgan had ever met, was suddenly at a loss for words. Maybe it was your perfectly sculpted face, your shoes, the copy of The Kreutzer Sonata held to your chest, your chest, or maybe a mix of it all.  Whatever it was, at sight of you walking through the office doors, he was stripped of his ability to speak. 

“That’s JJ’s new intern.” Morgan said plainly, before noticing the completely enamored look on his friend’s face. “What, pretty boy?” Reid couldn’t even be bothered to reply. He was too busy studying every detail of your frame. 

“You think she’s cute or something kid?” Morgan playfully jabbed his shoulder, Spencer’s face instantly flushing an embarrassing shade of red. 

“What?!” He shrieked, “I-no! That’s not..No!” That’s a lie. 

“I just..I didn’t know JJ was getting an intern.” That though, was true. 

“She’s supposed to be pretty impressive. Let’s go meet her.” he started in the direction of the coffee stand, where you and JJ had begun chatting. Before Spencer could protest out of his shyness, he was being dragged along. 

“Morgan,” JJ smiled, “Spence,” she nodded in his direction, “This is Y/N Y/L/N. My godsent savior.” JJ beamed in your direction.

You smiled more sheepishly then you would’ve liked, muttering a “Hopefully.” that got a laugh from Morgan and a “Oh, please.” from JJ, but nothing from the man in the glasses. You did your best not to read into it. 

“Derek Morgan.” the muscular agent extended his hand to shake yours, an offer you timidly but happily accepted. 

The taller, lankier, younger, incredibly cute man next to him stuffed one of his hands in his pocket and shifted uncomfortably with a small wave, “I’m uh, Doctor Spencer Reid, oh! Uh, you don’t have to, uh call me Doctor. No..” He shook his head, “Just Spencer is fine.” He looked at you with wide eyes that sent butterflies berserk in your stomach and swiped his tongue in between his lips that only made them go crazier. JJ had told you all about the team. About the magnificently brilliant Dr. Spencer Reid, his 3 PhDs and eidetic memory, and all the other quirks you’d have to know in order to work with him, but had failed to mention how utterly hot he was. You felt a crush hijacking your system already. Dear god. 

“It’s nice to meet you both.” Your hands gripped your book tighter as you shifted onto your tiptoes, “I’ve heard really exceptional things.” 

The conversation was set to continue, but Morgan and JJ were summoned by Hotch to the closed doors of his office. Leaving the resident genius and you starting at each other with tight lip smiles. 

Spencer started first, “The Kreutzer Sonata is great.” He excitedly continued, “It uh, it actually used to be a pretty bold book to carry around. After the work had been forbidden in Russia by censors, there was actually a mimeographed version that was widely circulated. Then in 1890, the United States Post Office Department prohibited the mailing of newspapers containing serialized installments of it too. Theodore Roosevelt even called Tolstoy a-” 

His enthusiasm was beyond endearing. You finished for him with a soft smile, "Sexual moral pervert.”

Spencer’s lips upturned in a smile. It was rare somebody in the office could finish his sentences. And he couldn’t help but replay the crass words being said in your soft voice. He felt a crush hijacking his system already. Dear god.  

“Most people don’t recognize it in the original Russian.”  Spencer heard you say. 

“Most people probably wouldn’t recognize it in English.” he retorted.

You laughed, “Yeah, you’re right.” 

Spencer wasn’t even kidding. “I’m not joking.” He shook his head. “It’s unfortunate how many people aren’t even vaguely familiar with Tolstoy.” 

“It is.” you agreed. “You went to Caltech, correct?” 

He smiled, “Yes.” 

“I almost did too. Decided last minute on Columbia.” 

“You went to Columbia?” he asked. 

“I just graduated.” 

“How old are you?” he asked before quickly correcting himself,  “I’m sorry! That was forward! I am not...I’m not trying to undermine your studies with your age, I promise. I’m just curious.” 

“No! It’s okay!” You got out fast. “I’m 19. I graduated high school a little bit early.” 

“Me too.” He smiled. “12, actually.” 

Your eyes went wide, “12?” 

“Yes, um, in a Las Vegas public high school.” He winced, but the self-deprecation somehow came out charming, “I uh,” His eyes narrowed, “didn’t go to a lot of parties.” 

That made you wholeheartedly laugh. “Me neither! I graduated at 15, which you know is the age everybody else starts. It created a really weird dynamic because the older kids in my grade didn’t like me, but the underclassmen my age really didn’t like me.” 

Instead of the laugh you were expecting, Spencer just gave you a pensive stare. 

“Um..I can’t see why. I think you’re very likeable.” The compliment would’ve been strange exchanged by anybody other than Spencer to you.

  “Wait till you get to know me.” You said it through a smile but so softly you were afraid he might not be able to hear it, but he did. 

And that was confirmed when he flashed you the most incredible, toothy grin you’d ever seen. “I uh, I doubt there will be any change in opinion.” 

“Well, um, I’m sure- I think! You’re very likeable as well Dr. Reid.” you said. 

“That’s what you say now.” He retorted in the same coy tone you had earlier. 

You shook your head, “You’ll find I can be insufferably stubborn.” 

-----------------------------------

After two weeks, there was little Spencer could do to hide his massive crush affinity for you from the team. 

In the bullpen: 

You guys had locked eyes and were mouthing out exchanged of No’s and Yes’s from across the room. There was an ongoing half-serious dispute about whether or not Xanthippe slept with Plato. 

Morgan glided in his wheeled chair to whisper into Spencer’s ear. 

“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.” He said, shoving files into the cabinet below Reid’s desk. 

“I’m..I’m not.. I--what? Bedr--No!” Reid whisper-shouted back. 

On the jet: 

“Reid?” Gideon called Spencer, “Chess?” He motioned towards the board. 

“Yes, sure. Just give me a second. I’m almost done. I’m reading Infinite Jest. I don’t usually enjoy literature if it isn’t classic, even less so if it’s American. But..” Spencer smiled, “Y/N likes the author.”  He continued his fast-paced reading of the third-to-last chapter of the book. 

Morgan and Gideon exchanged glances. 

Even in front of you: 

You opened a sugar packet and began stirring. 

“De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium is still some of the best work on  heliocentric theory out there, I think. Copernicus knew what he was talking about!” You spun on your heels to see Reid’s face contorted in disagreement. You giggled, “Don’t give me that face! I’m right!” 

He took a sip of his coffee as to keep himself quiet. “Listen, cosmological theory is for…” 

But the pair of you were interrupted, it was Elle, standing behind you and in front of Spencer. 

“New skirt?” Elle asked as you turned, back now facing Reid.  She was pouring herself a cup of coffee too.

“Yes!” You excitedly nodded. “You like it?” 

Elle looked up and down, but not at you. The judgmental eyes were for the man behind you. She pursed her lips, “Not just me.” 

The only face redder than yours was Reid’s.

-----------------------------------

Nights spent in a bar after a case that had dragged on far too long was nothing new, but the energy tonight was especially light. Gideon had refused, but everybody else was just relaxed, even Hotch, and the team just got happier at each other's happiness. It was great, really. As Hotch and Morgan sipped on whiskey, JJ and Penelope had already downed four sugary, colorful cocktails and were in a whispered fit of giggles. Elle and Spencer settled on a tamer option of an IPA Spencer couldn’t name. 

“SPENCER!” Penelope excitedly shouted, “Y/N is literally you! You’re both adorable! You’re both geniuses! You’re both young!” She drew on her rant, “And if you have a crush on her you should just tell her!” JJ’s eyes widened in embarrassment as she tried to cover Penelope’s mouth. 

Morgan and Elle erupted in soft laughter while Hotch cracked an uncharacteristically amused smile. 

“Spence, I swear, I didn’t say that! I just...I may have mentioned how happy you get every time she’s around! And how you guys can talk for literally hours!” JJ defended, her words slurring in silly drunkenness. 

Spencer rolled his eyes. This wasn’t the first time they teased him about you, and it probably wouldn’t be the last time either. 

“I don’t have a crush on her! We just….we like the same things! It gives us a lot to talk about.” 

“Yeah?” Morgan said through a laugh, “And what is it that boy and girl wonder talk about so much?” 

“Well, uh.. a lot of things. But I find she gets the most excited when we are discussing the theories of postmodernism, in that apparent realities are actually just social constructs and veritable realities are subject to change, and uh... we like to talk about linguistics….political philosophy….history... mathematic theory...and uh, oh! Doctor Who.” 

Spencer was blushing and spoke about you like a teenage girl did their boyband crush, and the team noticed. They didn’t even need to say it out loud. Spencer gathered from the way they looked back at him. 

“I heard she lent you a book too, Reid.” Hotch said before taking a sip from his glass. 

“Yes! She did!” He smiled, “It was her copy of Pale Fire. She has an impressive collection of 19th century Russian literature. All in its original dialect! Some of it’s even annotated, which usually would annoy me but since it’s her thoughts and notes I sort of find it endearing.” 

“Dr. Reid is endeared!” Greenaway shrieked.

“Yeah,” he nodded, pushing his glasses up a little higher on his nose, “I find her incredibly endearing.” 

“Y’all that sounded like a dorky love confession.” Morgan said as the team erupted in laughter and Reid’s head fell in a smile. There was no point in denying it anymore: He really, really liked you.

--------------------------------------

Within two months, you and Spencer had finally put your shyness aside, and spent a very lovely evening at watching an orchestra at the Smithsonian Music,  and sharing noodles at your favorite Thai restaurant. And then you guys spent some time on your couch. And then in your bed. And then in the shower. And then in the kitchen. You were both very sexually frustrated. 

For the following two months, as soon as you both stepped out of the office, it was very, very hard to keep your hands off each other. Could either of you help it though? Teenage geniuses don’t experience parties, or football games, or clumsy sex. The time was perfect to make up for it. 

And you guys did. The sex part at least. “Football involves a lot of dirt. And germs. And sweat.”

“Oh my god!” you shrieked. His hands were in a place they found themselves more and more often: Your pants. 

“Does it feel good?” he asked, continuing his pattern of small circles on that particular bundle of nerves. 

“It feels great.” You nodded. 

“I uh, I’ve been researching the female anatomy.” 

You closed your eyes and nodded your head, but trying to focus on your boyfriends newfound intellect. “It’s fascinating, isn’t it?” 

He watched your undoing with boyish adoration and curiosity before swallowing, “Very.” 

“Oh fuck!” Your legs began to shake, “Spencee...I’m gonn--” 

--------------------------------------------

You and Spencer just understood each other. 

[russellthornton]

Super Self-Obsessed: 22 Secret Signs You’re Dating an Egomaniac

Think you might have an egomaniac in your love life? Here are 22 ways to tell if they’re in love with you or just themselves.

Having a big ego can be very healthy and beneficial to your self-worth and confidence at times. It propels you forward in life, and helps you make decisions that change how you react to your accomplishments. But what happens when someone’s ego gets out of control, and makes them an egomaniac who believes they’re superior to others?

This amplified craving for flattery and adoration manifests into arrogance and vanity, and eventually corrodes relationships.

Being cocky is all good in moderation, but lack of humility is not an attractive quality to possess. Egomaniasm is born out of insecurity. It indicates a deep need to feel accepted through mass amounts of attention and praise. A lot of egomaniacs have an inferiority complex. They gain their sense of self-worth through other people. Some inflated egos are fueled by genuine success, but a lot are often on the back of no real major accomplishments.

What is the difference between an egomaniac and being a narcissist?

Although possible to be both a narcissist and an egomaniac at the same time, people confuse the two. While they share many similar characteristics, they are not entirely the same thing. [Read: 23 secret signs of narcissism most people overlook until it’s too late]

One of the main differences is that narcissists show lack of remorse or guilt for their actions. Whereas egomaniacs have the ability to empathize but ultimately divert back to their default apathetic and selfish ways once they get the focus back on them.

Narcissists typically give in to sporadic impulses whereas egomaniacs don’t always and are able to hold down jobs or relationships for longer. Despite this, their egotistical nature leaks out as they become more comfortable. It’s not long before you find yourself bending over backwards to please them.

Many egomaniacs function fully in social groups, businesses, and relationships. It can be difficult to suss them out, but once you know how to spot them, the better.

Here are 22 traits that help you figure out if your significant other is an egomaniac.

#1 They’re in denial about their flaws. They hate feeling as if they have any faults at all. Whenever you confront them with something you don’t like about them, they do their best to deflect it as much as possible. In their eyes, everyone should see them and their actions as perfect.

#2 There’s no communication. Sometimes it feels like you talk to a brick wall. They refuse to listen to your points of view, they make you feel silly for voicing your concerns, and they won’t tell you when something’s bothering them. It’s easier for them to just sit back while you try to figure out how to break through their communication barrier. [Read: Emotionally detached? 15 signs they don’t really care about you]

#3 They think they know better than you in every situation. Even when it’s regarding something that’s mostly in your field of expertise, they still think they have more authority to speak about it than you. They consider themselves to be experts about all topics, and rarely take your advice on anything.

#4 They can’t handle a taste of their own medicine. They definitely dish it out, but they can’t seem to take it back. It doesn’t take much to get under their skin by calling them out. They crumble at the first sign of anyone challenging them. They are truly the worst people when handling criticism. [Read: Controlling people – 14 common traits and ways to deal with them]

#5 There’s no responsibility. An egomaniac never likes to take any responsibility for their actions. When something is their fault they try to find a way out of it, and blame someone or something else. By admitting the responsibility falls on them, they admit they have the ability to fail, which is something they avoid at all costs.

#6 They’re master manipulators. They manage to somehow sulk, kick up a fuss, or emotionally blackmail you into getting what they want. When they want something from you, they know all the right things to say and do to press your buttons. Once you react angrily they say you overreact, until you give them the reaction that suits them.

#7 You’re the main driving force behind the relationship. They put in minimal effort when it comes to your relationship and regularly expect you to do most of the work.

You spend lots of your time chasing them to ask about their day, considering their feelings before your own, and taking care of them when they’re ill. They barely ever reciprocate. [Read: Selfish people – 15 ways to spot and stop them from hurting you]

#8 They’re great at twisting situations to suit them. They somehow make you feel like you’re the problem in every situation. When you said something to stick up for yourself, suddenly you attack them. They regularly say things like, “I only got angry and shouted like that because you did something to make me feel that way.”

#9 They don’t know how to apologize. Sure, you get an apology from time to time, but they’re never genuine. They may feel bad for what they did, but they won’t let you know that. Instead they either find a way to make you apologize or give you a passive aggressive or sarcastic response.

#10 They’re a total flirt. You find them constantly flirting with other people, and often have to tell them to stop. You’ve had plenty of fights about it, but they constantly brush it off by saying “It doesn’t mean anything, that’s just what I’m like.” But your instincts tell you different.

They crave the attention of others at all times because they love to fool themselves into thinking everyone finds them unbearably desirable. [Read: Instagram flirting: How it’s secretly ruining your relationship]

#11 They spend more time getting ready than you. When you get ready for a night out together, you’re almost always ready to leave before they are. They spend hours preening themselves for visual consumption. They won’t leave the house until they’ve double checked their appearance, asked for your opinion, and changed their outfit several times.

#12 You’re treated like a trophy. You find they love to show you off to their friends and family and regularly boast in front of other people about how attractive or intelligent you are. With an egomaniac, this is less to do with their pride in you, and more to do with using you to make others jealous or make themselves feel validated.

#13 Everything revolves around their needs. Almost everything they do is for personal gain. They always try to achieve something for their own benefit, even if it means stepping all over what you want to do. If they’re being helpful or caring, chances are they only do it because they know they can get something out of it, or it benefits them in some way. [Read: Emotional manipulation and 14 tricks people use to mess with your mind]

#14 They’re very fashion conscious. You regularly see their Instagram feed filled with endless fashion pages, or style blogs bookmarked on their browser. They feel the need to always be on top of upcoming style movements, so they stay up to date with what trends are the next big thing. Most of their paycheck goes towards materialistic things.

#15 Everything’s always about them. When something terrible happens, it’s all about how sad they feel about it. If you get a promotion at work, it’s all about how it affects them. If you’re not paying enough attention to them, it’s all about how you don’t love them anymore. Eventually every situation revolves around them until your opinion barely even matters. [Read: Emotionally invested: 13 things to consider before going all in]

#16 They love the sound of their own voice. You often find them talking just for the sake of it, or starting a debate in a group of people they know already share the same opinions as them. They do this so that they get validation from people when they compliment their viewpoint. They also love to play devil’s advocate in an argument, just to make sure they never lose.

#17 They’re obsessed with their looks. Every time you go past a reflective surface, they stop and check how they look. You often catch them looking at their reflection in mirrors, or asking people if they look good. It’s almost certain no one ever looks at them as lovingly as they look at themselves.

#18 Their inadequacies come out in bed. If you ever find yourself in a situation where they can’t satisfy you in bed, they get really hurt, really easily. Even if it’s not their fault and instead because you’re too tired, it doesn’t matter. To them, your inability to climax is a direct reflection of their abilities which completely crushes their ego. They constantly feel like you think they’re the best you’ve ever had—even if it’s not true. [Read: Getting rid of sexual insecurity for a better sex life]

#19 They always have to have the upper hand. You’re never allowed to be right, because they think they know best. You always have to be one-upped in every situation. They don’t like it when you start to feel better about yourself than they do. They often use manipulative tactics to knock you down or make you feel inferior so that they feel better about themselves.

#20 They’re always wearing a mask. An egomaniac tends to hide their true feelings or thoughts, and won’t share information that potentially makes you see them in a negative light. They never truly are themselves and open up because that requires showing vulnerability, which is something they regularly try to avoid.

#21 They’re constantly fishing for compliments. Not a day goes by where they don’t crave attention, or subtly try and get you to tell them how awesome they are. You find them acting out in a self-deprecating manner because need reassurance endlessly. Their fragile egos must be validated on a regular basis, or else they feel insufficient. [Read: 16 signs of an insufferable attention whore]

#22 They’re actually pretty mean. They spend a lot of time poking fun at you or using back-handed compliments in a way to undermine you or put you down. But then when you confront them about it, they tell you that they’re just joking or that you shouldn’t take it so seriously. Don’t be fooled into thinking it’s just a joke, when it’s actually just deliberate ridicule.

[Read: How to deal with a narcissist: 13 ways you can manipulate them]

If you find yourself in a relationship with an egomaniac, either confront them or leave. It’s not worth staying in a relationship with them because before too long they suck all the positive vibes and confidence out of you.

The post Super Self-Obsessed: 22 Secret Signs You’re Dating an Egomaniac is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.