#i called dibs on it a long time ago so this hardly feels fair to me but ok have it your way

[widevibratobitch]

1:0 to my mother for pulling the wildest uno reverse card on me. what do you mean you're suicidal. IM suicidal. we cant both be suicidal. get your own thing stop copying me woman

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

Not Her

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: mention of child abuse.

A/N: this took me three days to write, I’m proud of it. 

Summary: Your sister tortured Daryl – he wants to be the one that kills her, but you beat him to it. Where do you go from there?

The room was small, and it smelled like vomit and piss. Everything was dark, except for the little dim of light that came from under the door. Daryl sat still, listening to the sounds of footsteps, getting ready for whatever torture was coming his way. Sometimes it was Dwight, the asshole, coming in with a sandwich – trying his best to antagonize Daryl, but it hardly worked. He did is best to not let it get to him, but the women?

She was something different, real mean.

He didn’t know her name, but her eyes said enough; she enjoyed the ridiculing and the beating, good at it too. He hated her the most, downright rotten woman – years ago, he would have never thought a woman could be so cruel, but the world had shown him otherwise about a lot of things.

Sometimes she said hello by kicking him in the side, tossing down a container of what he assumed was urine on the ground next to him. Other times she’d bring in a new device to see how deep she could press against his skin, he never screamed though, grunted a bit but he held up. Daryl was strong like that and he decided after one of her sessions, that when it was all said and done, he’d get her.

He’d get her.

….

Daryl gripped his gun, heart pounding with anticipation. The Saviors, they held their own guns pointed at the mixture of the three communities he stood with, and he waited for the signal.

He wanted Negan dead, for Glenn, Abraham, and the others. Then there was the burning part of him that wanted Dwight and her dead, and he wanted to do it himself. So, he waited and when the Saviors fired first and fell back with self-inflicting wounds, he jumped at the chance with the others. Rick screamed from them to press forward and Daryl raced, gun drawn. He shot several of the bastards down and every chance he got, he looked for her. Knowing it was a long shot, he kept venturing, shooting and stabbing, grunting and winning. Until he saw her.

She was standing next to Dwight, who was now in the same getup he had once wore as a prisoner – it was what he deserved, and he knew deep down, where he didn’t want to look, that it was enough punishment. He looked like shit and that made Daryl feel good, but he pressed on, striking down those who tried to kill him. He snuck up behind the car she stood in front of, her hand firmly on Dwight’s shoulder, a gun pressed against his side as she smiled. It was disgusting, it was infuriating, and he wanted her.

Not wanting to wait any longer, he started towards her but stopped when she moved. Someone had called for her and when she looked over her shoulder, she was shot in the chest. Instantly, she fell over, letting go of Dwight, who looked on in shock. Daryl grunted in anger and rushed over to the pair, kneeling to turn her over.

He wanted it badly, to be the one that killed her.

“Shit,” he muttered, looking up at Dwight, whose eyes were fixated on the person who shot her down. Daryl’s eyes followed his direction and his heart dropped, it was her. Same face, same body, but the eyes were different. Warmer, kinder, and full of regret.

…

You saw her, holding onto Dwight.

She had lost her way along time ago and you just wanted out, and Rick’s group winning, that was the way out. You knew there were good people among the Saviors, people with families that were just trying to stay alive, but her?

She was too far gone.

The gun shook in your hand, tears rolled down your face as you aimed it at her chest. The humane way would have been a head shot, but you saw what she had done to so many and it was what she deserved.  You had to be the one to do it, you were the only one that loved her.

“Bianca!”

Her name felt warm leaving your mouth, and you wished it was like when the two of you were kids; the late nights under the covers, when Dad was asleep, talking about growing up and leaving home – that was the big dream then. Too many things happened between then and now, and you knew Bianca’s time on Earth was over. Negan had twisted her up and made her into someone you didn’t recognize, someone you feared. You wanted him dead, but that was Rick’s dibs, and you knew, after seeing all the Saviors hurt from their own bullets, that his group was going to win. Which meant she had to go, because there was no way she could change, not anymore. Bianca would always be loyal to Negan, she would always rebel against Rick and try to recruit others into that way of thinking – and that was not going to happen, peace and fairness had to be the endgame. It had to be.

She turned, her eyes connecting with yours instantly and you didn’t give her a chance, because you knew if she had gotten a word out, she’d find a way out. Instead you pulled the trigger and she went down, and your heart broke. Your chest heaved as you gazed around, seeing that Negan was losing, and you felt light for the first time in a long time. Things were going to change, and you wanted to be part of it all.

“Shit.”

The relief left you when you saw a man kneeling beside your sister and Dwight staring at you with wide eyes, causing you to snap out of whatever self-fulfilling peace you were feeling. Moving down the gun, you walked over to Dwight and pulled out a knife, cutting him loose. He stared at you, his breathing steady as you handed him your second gun.

“We were never supposed to be here,” you said to him, pushing the weapon into his chest.

“I know,” he answered, taking it. Your face dropping when he pointed it up and for a moment you thought you’d be joining your sister, but he shot over your shoulder. “We have to make it right.”

The two of you shared a knowing look before he walked off and you turned to the man as he rolled your sister over. She looked like she was sleeping and a part of you wanted to shake her awake, but that wasn’t going to happen – it hit you then, the severity of what you had done.

You fell to your knees and touched her arm, crying when it felt cold. The man stared at you and you glared up at him, asking what he wanted.

“I wanted her.”

It was evident in his eyes that he had been one of Bianca’s victims.

“I’m tired of apologizing for what my sister has done,” you sighed, handing over the knife you used to cut Dwight free. “But I had to be the one to kill her, just make sure she doesn’t turn, please.”

He looked at you, eyes focused on yours before taking it, watching as you stood up.

“I’m going to surrender, I want to start new.”

“So, what? She the evil twin and you the good one?”

His voice was raspy and accusatory, but you let out a tired chuckle and walked away. You just wanted to sleep, have a good rest – the last time you slept well was when Negan, who rarely went on runs, found Bianca and you on an outpost scout. He was charming, but you saw right through it. Yet, he promised a bed to sleep and safety exchange for work. Bianca was in from the beginning and you couldn’t say no to her, so the two of you went with him. That night, he brought the two of you to a room, and congratulated you on the new world life – you didn’t know what he meant, but you found out soon enough.

You walked over a hill, gun holstered as you came across a large group of Saviors, kneeled on the grass with their hands up. It was over and you looked up at the sky, letting the cool breeze wash over you like baptism water, it was time for a new start.

Joining the rest, you got down and watched as Rick slit Negan’s throat. You were happy, everything felt right until he called for a man to save him, and the screams of a broken woman filled the air. For a moment, a split second, you thought about running down and killing Negan yourself, but then Rick told you and the other Saviors to stand up and put your hands down, and then he spoke.

He spoke from the depths of his heart and each word hung over yours as you realized he was right, things needed to be at peace – everyone was tired, everyone just wanted to live. The dead should be the only fight worth fighting, and all you had was each other. It changed right then, you could feel it in the air and as the sun rained down on everyone, the walkers looming far in the foreground – everything transformed.

……

One year later

The car came to a stop in front of the gates of Alexandria, your back pressed deep into the driver’s seat. It had been a few long days spent at the Sanctuary, upholding an election for a new spokesperson to collaborate with the other communities. The collective thought was to reelect a leader every year, the scars of Negan ran deep.  After his fall, you had stepped up.

“I’ll take the others home,” you yelled from the back of the crowd, moving past people to get to Rick. He watched as you approached him, and when he asked what the plan was, you smiled. “We’re going to rebuild the Sanctuary, the right way this time. Most of us never wanted Negan’s way, we were just surviving. We have a lot of strong people, people with skills, and we have crops. We can start a trade route to and from the communities.”

Rick nodded, holding out his hand. “And we’ll be happy to help you out in anyway. The first thing we’ll do is help bring back the bodies to the Sanctuary, I know there were some good people who died here that deserve a proper burial.”

You took his hand and shook it. “We appreciate it.”

It was Aaron who opened the gates, like the first time except he had a smile on his face this time around. He opened it up and you drove in, parking off to the side. You grabbed the green backpack off the passenger seat and got out of the car, giving the man a hug as he welcomed you.

“How was the election?”

“Good.  The people spoke and picked Alejandra, she’s going to be a great leader.”

“So, does that mean you’ll be moving here fulltime?”

You shrugged. “I suppose. It will be nice to not have to be in charge for once.”

Aaron smiled, motioning for you to follow him – the two of you started walking further into the community, going over what you had missed while you were gone. Rick and a few others were out on a scouting location run, and you nodded.

“Don’t worry, he’s here,” Aaron teased, nudging you playfully. “He knew you’d be back today, so he opted out.”

Ignoring his teasing, you kept walking – each step brought relaxation to your soles. It had been a long year, getting people to work together, growing crops, running the Sanctuary in a fair way, and trying to have a persona life in between. You were glad to be let off the hook, although you appreciated the support the others had given you, that he had given you.

“I’m going to go see him,” you hummed out, stopping in front of a house.

Aaron gave you a wink and told you to come by his house afterwards. “Rick wanted me to get a rundown of what the Sanctuary needs from you.”

Agreeing, you waved him off before stepping up to the porch of the white house. You walked up to the door and knocked on it lightly, but a raspy voice came from around the porch. Smiling, you turned to see Daryl standing there.

You moved down on the grass and touched Bianca’s hair, it was soft. Tears left your eyes and you wanted to sob, to break down, but now wasn’t the time. It was a new beginning and all you wanted to do was bury your sister and get some decent sleep. It made you sound cruel, maybe you were like her…

“Need help burying her?”

Looking up, you saw the man from earlier. “Yeah.”

…

You had decided not to take her back to the Sanctuary, but to bury her out under one of the trees on the hill where the fight began. He had borrowed a shovel from someone who was using it as a weapon and the two of you took turns digging a hole. Neither of you spoke, he barely looked you in the eye, not that you could blame him. You were a living reminder of what your sister did to him, and yet, here he was helping you bury her.

“I hated being a twin,” you said out of nowhere, causing him to look up at you. He just stared, waiting for you to go on. “Nothing was ever just yours, and the two of us, we were nothing alike.”

He didn’t say anything.

“When we met Negan, Bianca believed the bullshit ideology he was selling.”

“And you didn’t?”

“Fuck no,” you laughed, reaching for the shovel. “I’ll take over.”

“Nah,” he said. “I got the rest.”

Not arguing, you stared down at your sister and sighed. “Our dad was this tough son of a bitch, beat the shit out of us when we got out of line. Bianca, she learned early on to fall in line, I’ve always been the rebellious type.”

“So, you just took the beatings?”

“Yeah,” you whispered, not knowing why you were divulging all this to a stranger. Maybe you felt like you owned him an explanation or maybe because it just seemed easy. “All that mental shit was far worse, its easier to get the physical abuse.”

“Hmm,” he nodded, finally looking you in the eyes. “I get it. I get that you aren’t her, and I think you’ll lead your people to do good.”

“I hope so,” you laughed, shaking your head. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

He stopped shoveling and tilted his head slightly to the left, giving you a small nod. “Daryl.”

“Hey,” you smiled, walking up the man.

Daryl pushed from the roundabout porch and walked up to you, asking how everything went. After Negan was put into prison, you had a discussion with Rick about the logistics of things and he asked Tara to go with you, but Daryl stepped up. You were surprised at first but the two of you left with the former Saviors in tow. He mostly kept to himself but was always there to deal with those who caused trouble. You had found out pretty quickly that you had to have patience with Daryl, and when he finally started to come around, the two of you connected even more. Nothing romantic at first, just friendship and a mutual respect – it hurt you a bit, because you had started to have feelings for him and things hadn’t progressed, but you realized Bianca might have been still interfering. How could he ever see you in that way, when your twin sister tortured him to no end?

Daryl stood in the back of the room as you addressed the group of people, it was a weekly meeting you had implemented to discuss concerns and needs of the community. He watched as you spoke gracefully and listened to everyone’s suggestions and worries – over the last few months you had become a fair leader and he started to notice a change in the way he felt. His eyes always found you in a room full of people and he constantly, without realizing it, gravitated towards you.

“We’ll be going to Alexandria for the trade exchange, I’m going to need a truck filled with crops and a few volunteers to make the trip.” Several people spoke up and you smiled. “Thank you. That’s settled. I appreciate all the hard work guys, now go enjoy some lunch.”

You stepped down from the staircase and Daryl hung back as you greeted people, answering questions or just saying hello. He watched your face, and for the first time, he didn’t see her. Not one bit. Not her twisted smirk or the look of wickedness in her eyes, no, he just saw you.

He pushed away from the wall he was leaning on when you approached him, a warm smile on your face. You asked if he thought your little speech was too kumbaya and he shook his head.

“Nah, they need that.”

“Good,” you grinned even wider, reaching over a hand to his shoulder. He stilled for a moment until his body relaxed and when you asked if he wanted to get some lunch, he said yeah.

“You made it.”

“I did, everything went good. I’ll have to make a few trips in the following weeks to make sure everything is okay, but I’m officially off the hook,” you laughed, moving closer to him. He stood inches from you, nodding as you went on about the trip back – his head dipped down next to yours, his left hand slowly reached the tip of your fingers.

“You made it right with your people, you deserve a damn award.”

“I can’t do this, Daryl,” you exhaled, placing both hands on the table. You had just dealt out punishment for two men that didn’t want to follow the new rules, they both were given a few supplies and asked to go. “I’m going to turn into her.”

Daryl snapped his head up from the supply list he was reading. “Like hell you are. You ain’t her, never been. Those two assholes were causing trouble for weeks now, they can take that shit to the road.”

“I can’t do…I’m afraid…” your words faded as tears fell from your eyes, until a warm hand touched your back. It was just the two of you in the room, but it felt like you were the last two people on Earth. This was the first time he had touched you on his own accord, and it made you feel closer to him.

“Has it been a year yet?”

He scoffed playfully. “You got a couple of more months left.”

“I can’t do this alone,” you whispered, head hung low. It was a lot to take on, and in the beginning, you wanted it badly, needed it to work. And it had, for the most part, but now you were second guessing your leadership skills.

Daryl’s hand moved up to your shoulder, where he grasped it lightly. “I got ya.”

After that, he did. He was the one to back you up and reassure you when doubts built up in your head, Daryl had become your person. Then it happened, out on a supply run.  He had said you didn’t have to go, now that you were the leader, but what kind of example would that have been? So, you went. Things got dicey and the two of you were separated by a small horde of walkers. You fought hard through the dead, but one had gotten a hold of your bag but before he could take a bite, he was on the ground.

Daryl stood there, chest puffy, knife in hand. The walkers were all dead and when you saw him there, you lost it and ran into his arms. It wasn’t like you hadn’t be in a bad spot before, you had fought many times against walkers but this time it was different.

You trembled in his arms, afraid you had lost him.

He held you tight, his heart pounding away. “Shit. I thought I lost you.”

“I deserve an award? Like one of those cute metal ones with a blue ribbon?”  you teased.

He scoffed, pulling you into his chest and placing a kiss on your forehead.  “You’re ridiculous.”

Leaning back, you stared at him before smiling; he had been the one person you thought would never want anything to do with you. You were the face of his torturer and maybe it was twisted in some way or maybe, maybe it was how life was now. Maybe it didn’t really matter, because the two of you found something in a world full of cruelty and hope – and that was enough.

“Yeah, but you got me, right?”

Daryl stared into your eyes for a few seconds, not understanding how he could have ever, even for a second, think you were anything but kind, thoughtful, and warm. He was a fool to ever think that, but he was glad he had you now.

“Yeah, I got ya.”

[dramaticwrites]

Not sure I will ever post this on AO3 but I couldn’t get this out of my head.

Pairing:  Jason Todd/Roy Harper

Warnings: Character Death (which is canon but there is a fix it at the end)

Summary: Tim asking the Batfam for love advice is never a good idea. Sometimes though it leads to revelations. 

“So I don’t know what to do!”  Tim explained as he punched some numbers swiftly into the computer in front of him.  “He seems really mad and I don’t know what to do.”

“Just be cute.  That usually works for me.”  Dick said with a shrug as he tinkered with one of the gadgets that were spread out across the workbench.  

“I refuse to believe that works for anyone.”  Jason sneered as he kicked his feet up onto Dick’s workbench.

“It’s Dick!  How are you even questioning it?”  Tim exclaimed and to be fair, they all knew if anyone could get out of trouble by looks alone, it would be Dick.  Even Jason knew that Dick could get out of anything just by being cute, not that he would admit it.  

“I say you just break up with him.”  Damian suggested from where he was seated with his laptop propped up.  “I mean not that you could do better.”

“Play nice.”  Dick said as he tried his best to maneuver around Jason’s feet.

“Just make him dinner.”  Jason said rolling his eyes.  “Then it shows a nice gesture and that you want to talk.  Just make sure not to make anything that requires knives or forks.  Tacos and burgers are always a good choice.”

Silence filled the room as three sets of eyes turned to look at Jason who just shrugged.  “That...actually isn’t a bad idea.”  Tim declared after a few moments, breaking the silence that have enveloped the room.

“That’s surprisingly sweet.”  Dick said proudly, giving Jason’s ankle a pat causing Jason to stretch out and try to kick him.  

“I’m surprised that you even know what goes on in a relationship.”  Damian quipped before turning back to his work.  

“Hey I was married once.  And it wasn’t even a cheap Vegas wedding like Dick would do.”  He said nonchalantly, pulling a screwdriver into his hand to busy himself.  He hadn’t actually meant to say the first part but he couldn’t pass up a chance to make fun of Dick since he was already heading into that direction.

For a few minutes nobody moved.  It wasn’t until Dick let out the most high pitched squeal and rolled his chair in front of Jason that the other two moved to also circle him.  “When was this?  How come we didn’t know?  When are we going to meet her?  Why weren’t we invited?  How could you not tell us?”  Dick rambled out somehow managing to sound both hurt and excited.  One of the many traits that only Dick could pull off.  

“Does Bruce know?”  Tim asked hesitantly, as if not wanting to be the only lousy detective.

“And you wonder why I never told you.”  Jason said rolling his eyes. “And no, Bruce doesn’t know.  You’re not a shit detective.  We just didn’t really feel the need to make a big deal.”  For a moment Jason’s lip twitched up.  “Kinda perfect like that.”

“Seriously how could you not tell us!”  Dick cried.  “When did all this even happen?”

Jason paused, thinking for a moment.  “About a year and a half ago.  Just woke up one morning and said we should get married.  And they suggested a beach wedding so that’s what we did.”

“You can’t get married in a day.”  Tim added skeptically.  “It takes longer than that to get a marriage license.”  

“Yeah well I’m dead so it was more of a commitment ceremony than anything.”  Jason shrugged.  

“Did Roy know?”  Dick asked with a slight pause.  As soon as the words left his mouth an uncomfortable silence fell over the room as Jason’s face went dark for a moment.  Jason had said he was fine after Roy was killed, but judging by his actions, all of them knew otherwise.  More importantly they knew not to push the subject.

Just as they thought he had closed them off for good, the corner of Jason’s lip twitched up again.  “Yeah, yeah he knew.  Would have been pretty awkward if he didn’t.”

“Oh right because you guys were roommates.”  Dick commented.

Damian’s eyes went wide, “Oh god they were roommates!”

Dick and Tim both raised their eyebrows curiously as Jason let out an amused groan.  “Great, now I owe Roy twenty bucks.”

“Jason, Roy’s is-“ Tim started only to be nudged in the side by Dick.  The last thing they needed was Jason to go off on them over that.  

“So I’m guessing Roy was your best man.”  Dick interjected.  He pondered for a short moment.  “I guess that’s okay.”

“Roy is hardly fit to be the best anything.”  Jason snorted.  “Actually Kor’i was my best man.  As soon as she found out she called dibs.”  

“KOR’I KNEW MY LITTLE BROTHER GOT MARRIED AND DIDN’T TELL ME?!”  Dick screamed promptly falling out of his chair.

Jason smirked, “Yep.  She wore a suit and everything.”

“Are we seriously the last people who knew about this?”  Tim asked, looking slightly distressed.  

Jason paused, debating for a moment before conceding, “Nah, just Roy, Kor’i, and Donna because Roy can’t resist telling her things.”

“Donna knew too!”  Dick cried.  “My whole life has been a lie.”

“Had I known I would get this sort of response out of you, I might have told you sooner.  This is pretty amusing.”

“Does this mean you’re actually going to introduce us to them?”  Tim asked curiously.

“Nope.”  There was a collective groan.  “I said I was married.”  

“So you broke up?”  Tim asked.

“We live in a fucked up world and there isn’t happily ever after for people like us.”  He said with a frown.  

Dick opened his mouth when a voice came over one of the coms, “have any of you found out anything about the location of the drug shipment.”

“Fuck.”  Dick muttered before spouting off something about paper trails and it would be done soon as Tim jumped back to his computer typing twice as fast as before.  Jason just watching, picking up the metal gadget he had before and started to fiddle with it.  He was so engrossed in the project that he didn’t even notice that Damian hadn’t turned to get back to work.  

“I was right wasn’t I?”  Damian asked quietly with confidence.  

“Like you said, and we were roommates.”  Jason muttered with a fond smile.  “You going to rub it in Tim’s face that you were right?”

Damian thought for a moment.  “No, I’ll wait and see how long it takes him.”  He paused.  “Sucks for you though.”

“Yeah.”  Jason agreed.

“Well if he ever appears in a ball of light or something I’ll try to send him your way.”

“Thanks.”  Jason said rolling his eyes.

Eight months later, during some cosmic battle when they were just starting to look outnumbered fifteen balls of light fell to the Earth cracking opening like eggs as they feel and fallen heroes emerged with their weapons drawn.  It was then that Damian kept his word, pointing Arsenal over to the spot where the Red Hood was firing off his gun.  While he was too busy with his own fight he did hear the “about time” from over where he had pointed.  Damian rolled his eyes as he continued on with his own battle.

However once it was over, everyone was treated to Jason throwing his helmet to the ground and pulling Roy into the most passionate kiss that they had ever seen outside the movies complete with Roy wrapping his arms around Jason’s neck.  Damian smiled, turned rather to watch the dumbstruck looks on his family’s face.  Dick had his head tilted to the side as both Bruce and Tim looked like they had reached a system overload and were stuck on processing.  Sneaking a glance over it looked like the McQueen family also seemed to be having their own problems dealing with this.

“Can I get pregnant watching this?”  Dick asked.

“I’m not sure.  This is...I feel like we should have seen this coming.”  Tim said, not taking his eyes off of Roy and Jason, who was actually grinning wider than any of the three could remember seeing Jason achieve.

“I told you..they were roommates.”  Damian smirked crossing his arms.

[thebachelordiaries]

My Late ASF Recap of Some Early Episodes of ‘The Bachelorette’

What’s up, everyone? I’m at jury duty with some time to kill, so I thought this would be the best time to catch up on my Bachelorette recaps. Don’t feel sorry for me. If I had it my way, Casey Anthony would’ve been found guilty, Luke P. would need to go on trial for gaslighting women, and Ashley I. and Jared would be indefinitely banned from appearing on any Bachelor franchise show. Don’t thank me; I’m just a normal person who wants to make the world a fair and better place.

Ashley I. and Jared are the people five years removed from high school who still show up to the parties. Go home.

What even happened on Episodes 2, 3 and 4? 

I just had to check and make sure there’s been four episodes already. I swear the premiere happened last week. It’s a similar feeling to being 23 and then waking up one day and realizing you’re 28. Time flies when you’re not doing anything with your life. 

I don’t know a lot of things, but...

...Here’s What I Do Know About This Season

I have no idea why Tyler G left. This normal-ass dude with the jawline of a demigod and the personality of a barren midwest field got the first 1-on-1 date with Hannah. The only remarkable thing about it was we realized just how dirty the cast photo photographer did him.

This striking individual is allegedly the same person as this thumb-of-a-man below:

I don’t wish unemployment on anyone, but I hope the photographer who took this picture received a very fair severance package.

By episode four, Tyler G. was quietly sent home with no explanation. Obviously he was accused of something and ABC didn’t want that burden on their back, especially after they casted a SEX OFFENDER on Becca’s season, so he, and his Ian Somerhalder-esque jawline were sent back to wherever they came from.

Goodbye, Tyler G. We hardly knew ye. In the future don’t (allegedly) spit in any girl’s face. You might get kicked off a reality TV show one day.

Luke P. (the “P” stands for PLEASE LET’S STOP GIVING HIM ATTENTION)

I get that he’s the “villain” of this season, but hear me out.

Luke P. isn’t that bad. (Narrator: He really is that bad. Just wait)

Sure, he exudes so much confidence that it makes me roll my eyes into the back of my head, but I kind of respect it. (Narrator: She doesn’t respect it anymore)

I know people are saying he was “love bombing” Hannah on night 1 in order to get the first impression rose, but I just want to make it clear that it doesn’t make him an abusive person just because he flooded her with affection, and people shouldn’t label him a possible abuser because of that single instance. It’s not like he (allegedly) spat in his girlfriend’s face. (Narrator: Gaslighting is abusive behavior)

(Narrator: This paragraph somewhat defending Luke P. has beed removed due to bad judgement. Luke P. actually does suck. A lot.)

Every season there’s a little punk who has no chance at staying on the show with their connection with The Bachelorette alone, so they decide to spark a feud with the guy getting the most camera time. First there was Chad and Evan. Then there was Jordan and David. Now There’s Luke P. and Luke S.

Luke P. and I make the same face whenever Luke S. opens his mouth.

And I get it. I, too, have a secret hatred for every person with the same name as me, but Luke S. annoys me so much that I’m starting to feel bad for Luke P. (Narrator: She doesn’t feel bad anymore)

Maybe I’m wrong and Luke P. really is the worst. (Narrator: He is) 

Maybe he really is being a douche canoe off camera and deserves to be ganged up on by the other guys. (Narrator: He is)

I don’t have the answers. (Narrator: You soon will)

I’m just saying I hate Luke S. more. (Narrator: This is no longer true. Luke S. is still annoying though)

MIKE FOR BACHELOR

I honestly don’t care if you don’t like Mike. Nobody asked you. 

I see so much Bachelor potential in him, and I really think (with the right edit, COUGH, COUGH, ABC) he could become our first black Bachelor.

That smile. That damn smile.

I don’t care if you love Pilot Pete, Tyler C., Jedd, or whoever else the frontrunners are right now. If any of them get the gig over Mike, I’m strongly considering protesting in the streets. I’m fairly confident, with the power of Bachelor Twitter fandom, that we can make the #MikeForBachelor movement happen.

My only concern is that Mike seems like he is getting mixed up in the drama, which I hope doesn’t paint him in a negative light. And I’m scared he’s going to get eliminated before the top 6, which could hurt his chances. I’m at the edge of my seat at every rose ceremony.

Nevertheless, I do think that we can will this to come true. Mike :clap: for :clap: Bachelor :clap:.

FRONTRUNNERS

To put it bluntly, these are the only guys who have a chance with Hannah:

Jedd— He pulled an “8-Mile” and dissed himself before anyone else could by admitting to Hannah that he came on the show for the “wrong reasons.” The thing about “red flags” are that you ignore then when you’re into someone. Despite Jedd waving his “wrong reasons” flag (he wants to promote his country music career) in front of her face, Hannah could care less. She’s smitten.

Tyler C.— Look, if Hannah isn’t into Tyler C., she should just let Twitter fight over who gets what body part. I would like to call dibs on his torso. On a more serious note, Tyler C. is insanely hot, shockingly deep and actually seems like a genuine person. Everyone thought Blake was going to be to hottest ticket in Paradise, but now he’s not even on the starting roster. Meanwhile. Tyler C. is first up at bat. With that said, I don’t think Hannah is going to pick him, but he’s top four for sure.

A short list of people Tyler C. looks like: Patrick Swayze, Miles Teller, Ryan Lochte, Connor, my future husband.

Connor— Poor Connor may have had the worst 1-on-1 date of all time. Hannah was sick, so instead of doing whatever they had planned, they laid in bed for about 15 minutes. He was a good sport about it and still got the rose. My mom said he was the perfect gentleman. There’s something kind of pure about him, and he has big “best to take home to mom and dad” energy.

Pilot Pete— I admittedly didn’t “get” they hype surrounding this guy. He looks like a pudgy man baby from certain angles. But from other angles, he can get it. I officially became part of the Pilot Pete fan club when he PICKED UP HANNAH AND MADE OUT WITH HER AGAINST THE WALL.

Yeah, we stan. (Also follow me on Twitter, @thebachdiaries)

Garrett— He’s my dark horse. I feel like we haven’t seen enough of him, but I think he should get a 1-on-1 date soon. I mean, he literally looks like Jordan Rodger’s long lost brother. He’s rich (you can’t be a pro golfer and poor at the same time. I think you have to pay hefty annual fees), is from Alabama, has an adorable southern accent, and was the first person to come out of the limo (which always means something.) The thing is, I don’t really like him. He reminds me of a frat bro who giggles at immature poop jokes.

HONORABLE MENTION: 

Luke P.— Even though Hannah is fed up with Luke P’s sh*t, she admitted she still has strong feelings for him. Plus, he received the first impression rose, and the recipient of that rose has gone on to get the final rose for FOUR SEASONS IN A ROW. I’m just saying. Luke P. may win this thing. 

Stay tuned for more recaps that will come out whenever I feel like posting them.

I wrote this recap weeks ago, but never posted it. I need to get back on the ball with this blog. I promise I will be back on (or off...depends how you look at it) my bullsh*t soon.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #129

Fri Jul 26 2019 [06:34 PM] Wack'd: The Four are landing the Fantasticar when Reed and Ben both fall ill. Sue remarks that she had to finish landing procedures, and Ben makes a woman driver joke. Classy. [06:35 PM] Wack'd: This is hot off the heels of their previous adventure so it's probably fatigue from getting their asses kicked. Why it doesn't effect Sue and Johnny I have no idea [06:38 PM] Wack'd: Meanwhile Johnny's decided that he's going to move in with Crystal. He hasn't, like, talked to her about it or anything? And also a few issues ago he called not doing that the mature thing to do. So I'm not sure where this is coming from. [06:38 PM] Wack'd: I'm starting to think that writing Fantastic Four transmits memory issues [06:39 PM] Wack'd: Or maybe writing a comic book while also being the editor in chief of the company isn't such a hot idea [06:39 PM] Wack'd: Archie Goodwin never had this problem! [06:41 PM] Wack'd: So Johnny, probably remembering that the last few times he tried to fly via firepower to find Crystal it kind of wiped him out, steals a jet instead. Reed and Ben try to stop him but Sue handily clears a path by making Ben's hands invisible [06:42 PM] Wack'd: YES YES YES YES YES YES

[06:42 PM] Wack'd: (Also: Central Asia! You know, all of it!) [06:43 PM] Bocaj: The Entirety of Central Asia [06:43 PM] Bocaj: God marvel just make up countries we know you like to do it [06:44 PM] Wack'd: What's especially weird is that Inhuman City does have a canonical in-universe location! It's in the Himalayas! [06:44 PM] Wack'd: Unfortunately, in the time since Johnny was last here, Maximus took over. AGAIN. [06:45 PM] Bocaj: ffs [06:45 PM] maxwellelvis: Are we sure this isn't the same conquest he just nope'd out of last time? [06:45 PM] Wack'd: We are! [06:45 PM] maxwellelvis: That's twice in one year. [06:45 PM] Wack'd: A narration caption informs us that Maximus got overthrown in another comic [06:46 PM] maxwellelvis: What kind of bodyguards is Black Bolt hiring because they clearly need replacing [06:46 PM] Bocaj: Its nepotism [06:46 PM] Bocaj: its all cousins and stuff [06:46 PM] Bocaj: Maybe the guy called Gorgon who is actually a satyr isn't the best for the job [06:46 PM] Bocaj: We'll never know because Blackagar refuses to interview anyone else or at all [06:46 PM] Umbramatic: rip [06:47 PM] Wack'd: Johnny, in a rare display of self control, concludes that kicking ass and taking names won't get him inside the dome Maximus has erected [06:47 PM] Wack'd: And lets himself get captured [06:49 PM] Wack'd: Johnny, considering the shit you pulled the second-to-last time you were here, I feel like the answer to that question is kind of obvious?

[06:50 PM] Wack'd: Meanwhile, in the Baxter Building, Agatha Harkness offers her resignation, as only she can--with a big giant floating head message [06:51 PM] Wack'd: Bocaj, does 1973 sound about right for her tutelage of Wanda? [06:54 PM] Bocaj: 74 I think [06:54 PM] Wack'd: Huh [06:54 PM] Wack'd: Wonder what she's getting up to in 1973 that he has to quit [06:54 PM] Bocaj: Is Franklin in a coma? [06:54 PM] Wack'd: Uh [06:54 PM] Wack'd: Not to my knowledge [06:55 PM] Bocaj: People lobotomize their super genius babies so often in comics I’m not sure if this happened to Franklin or to another super genius baby [06:55 PM] Wack'd: I'd ask Agatha about this herself, but

[06:55 PM] Bocaj: I know Superman did it to his super genius baby [06:55 PM] Bocaj: Because he was jealous [06:55 PM] Wack'd: Yeesh [06:55 PM] Bocaj: Silver age Superman could be very petty [06:56 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh, SILVER age [06:56 PM] Bocaj: Along with all the mind fucking he does to his friends constantly [06:56 PM] maxwellelvis: so that wasn't an intentional homage to the Reign of the Superman story then [06:56 PM] Wack'd: Sue continues to delight

[06:57 PM] Wack'd: Ben has perhaps an outsized confidence in Reed's good intentions but they have been best friends for like two decades, so [06:57 PM] Bocaj: Sue has learned Valkyrie’s most important lesson [06:57 PM] Wack'd: Men ain't shit? [06:57 PM] Bocaj: Men ain’t shit [06:58 PM] maxwellelvis: "Men." "BOOOOOO!" [06:58 PM] Bocaj: I think she also made allusion to masturbation [06:59 PM] Bocaj: She was talking to teenagers. So she was also giving them alcohol [06:59 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Ben decides to go see Alicia but is ambushed by--well, I mean, guess [06:59 PM] Bocaj: Ninjas [06:59 PM] maxwellelvis: What a good influence that Val is [06:59 PM] maxwellelvis: Moloids [06:59 PM] Bocaj: Ninja moloids [06:59 PM] Wack'd:

[06:59 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh right [06:59 PM] Bocaj: How was I to guess that [07:00 PM] maxwellelvis: I forgot he was also an FF villain [07:00 PM] Wack'd: C'mon guys it explicitly said "Frightful Four" at the end of last issue [07:00 PM] Bocaj: Oh [07:00 PM] maxwellelvis: I forgot Sandman was part of the Frightful Four [07:00 PM] Wack'd: Also yaaaaaaay Sandman ditched that awful costume Kirby gave him [07:00 PM] maxwellelvis: I think this is the first time he's done this in his normal duds [07:00 PM] Bocaj: His costume was bad so I’m glad he’s back to his silly civvies [07:00 PM] maxwellelvis: what happened to his cornrows? [07:00 PM] maxwellelvis: Or whatever you'd call that weird Osborn hair? [07:01 PM] Wack'd: Those didn't last long--they're done by the time he got his "zoot suit" [07:01 PM] maxwellelvis: Probably because Kirby couldn't draw them. [07:02 PM] Wack'd:

[07:02 PM] Bocaj: The weird orsborn hair had John Byrne decide that sandman was Norman’s cousin [07:03 PM] Bocaj: In Spider Man chapter 1 [07:03 PM] Wack'd: Wingless Wizard and Trapster are also here [07:03 PM] Bocaj: Paste Pot Pete [07:03 PM] Wack'd: But fortunately Medusa is on hair to even the odds a little [07:04 PM] Wack'd: Two on three. Hardly a fair fight [07:04 PM] Bocaj: Frightful ... three? [07:04 PM] Wack'd: I assume there's a fourth to be introduced [07:04 PM] maxwellelvis: You'd think the others in the Frightful Four wouldn't have a problem taking on Medusa [07:04 PM] maxwellelvis: They fought alongside her, they should know how she fights. [07:04 PM] Wack'd: And also a fifth because the caption said "plus one" last issue [07:04 PM] Wack'd: max: Counterpoint: they're all dinks [07:04 PM] maxwellelvis: True [07:06 PM] Bocaj: Rate them in terms of dink [07:06 PM] Wack'd: From least to most dink: Sandman, Wizard, Pete [07:06 PM] Wack'd: ...can someone explain this joke to me

[07:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Paste Pot Pete being so lame that even Roy doesn't feel like reminding the readers of his appearances, I assume. [07:06 PM] Wack'd: Ahhhh [07:07 PM] Bocaj: He’s a good kind of lame [07:07 PM] Bocaj: Plus he’s smarter than baron Zemo [07:07 PM] Bocaj: He actually made a universal solvent so he wouldn’t say glue a ski mask to his face for twenty years [07:08 PM] Wack'd: AND HERE SHE IS, THE FOURTH OF YOUR FRIGHTFUL FOUR--THE ONE--THE ONLY--

[07:09 PM] Bocaj: Oh shit it’s Thundra [07:09 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh shit whaddup [07:09 PM] maxwellelvis: Looking at her now, Thundra almost seems like a playful rib on Wonder Woman. [07:09 PM] Bocaj: Ben don’t be sexist, give her a punch [07:09 PM] maxwellelvis: Don't know what that never occurred to me before. [07:10 PM] Wack'd: Cute

[07:10 PM] Bocaj: Right in the baby blues [07:10 PM] maxwellelvis: Only instead of fighting for truth or love or whatever, Thundra just loves to fight, period. [07:11 PM] Bocaj: Respect [07:11 PM] Wack'd: So Thundra makes short work of Ben, and Medusa, tossing her up into the air, but Ben creates a bed of dirt to toss up and catch her in midair which is wonderful nonsense [07:12 PM] Wack'd:

[07:12 PM] Wack'd: Most people are, Medusa! [07:13 PM] maxwellelvis: Wrestling Chants - Holy Shit [07:13 PM] Wack'd: So Thundra joined up because she wants Ben. For reasons. [07:13 PM] Wack'd: And so the second Ben and Medusa are laid out, infighting starts over who gets dibs on who [07:14 PM] Wack'd: But fortunately Wizard comes to his senses

[07:14 PM] Wack'd: And an ominous cliffhanger arrives that I'm sure will prove to be a lie in no way whatsoever

[imagine-loki]

The Power’s That Be

TITLE: The Powers That Be

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Eighteen AUTHOR: wolfpawn ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki discovering a hidden mutant when he realises they are at risk of being found by S.H.I.E.L.D. who experiments on mutants, he is the one to help them.

RATING: Teen and Up

Alexia stared at the dress in front of her. “They cannot be serious.” A dress, she could not remember wearing one in recent memory. Even for her mother’s funeral, she had worn pants. And of all the kinds; a large, heavy and uncomfortable looking one.

“We can assist you with it if you would like?” A maid smiled.

It was difficult, but Alexia kept her mouth closed, the girl was simply trying to assist her, but of course, she needed assistance with it, it was a corset style that needed to be tied from the back. She nodded instead and the maid came over smiling and began to prepare her for dressing.

“This is unreal.” Wilson looked around the large room.

“How much food do you think these guys eat?” Barton asked looking at the tables of food in front of them.

“You would ask that.” Romanov rolled her eyes with a knowing smile.

“My friends, please, join the Warrior’s and I will join you shortly.” Thor pointed to the friends he had introduced them to earlier.

“Where is Alexia?” Coulson looked around for his daughter.

“According to her maids she had an issue with her attire, but she will be here presently,” Thor informed them.

“Maids? This Keeper of things gig sounds good.” Stark jested.

“It is imperative that she is as comfortable as is necessary to aid her training. Her abilities will be far easier for her to command if she is given the chance to take care of herself properly.”

“And you just had maids waiting for her?” Wilson questioned.

“They were my mothers, they will be happy to have someone to serve once more.” Thor's smile did not reach his eyes before he walked off.

“Has anyone ever actually asked him anything about his family situation and losing his mother or have we all just assumed that as a big warrior, he doesn’t actually have emotions?” Stark asked as they began to walk towards the warriors.

“I don’t see you asking,” Rogers commented.

“I openly admit that, I was just asking if anyone else did,” Stark stated back. “Dibs sitting next to Blondie, he’s my sort of man.” He sat next to Fandral who laughed and winked.

The two groups sat amongst one another and began to talk. When the room fell silent, the Midgardians looked around somewhat concerned. The warriors rose to their feet, so the Avengers followed suit cautiously.

Odin walked into the room, Gungnir in hand with both Thor and Loki behind him. As they stood at their seats, the room’s attention was on them.

“People of Asgard, I am sure most of you have noticed that at present, Asgard is playing host to the Midgardian group known as the Avengers.” Most of the room looked at the group of visitors that they were given no explanation for. There was a small moment of tension. The last time a Midgardian came to Asgard with Prince Thor, they were attacked by the Dark Elves, many buildings were damaged and there was widespread death and destruction, even in the House of Odin with the loss of the adored Queen and Allmother. But the group that were there now, though they seemed like an unlikely group, they also seemed far more formidable than the woman. The two women that were in the grouping looked more terrifying than some of the men in it. The dark haired one seemed stoic and professional, but the red haired one, she scared many in the hall. Her features, though not as stoic as the brunette, seemed to mask something far more threatening. There was only one woman that ever struck fear into people in such a manner, and that woman sat right beside the red haired Midgardian, the two seemingly enjoying one another’s company, and involving the brunette in their discussions also. “They are called the Avengers, and were responsible for defeating the situation that occurred on that realm not too long ago.” There were many that looked to Loki at that time, having heard of his actions on the realm. Though it was made clear that Loki had never truly wished to enslave Midgard for himself, there were many that still did not fully trust him after it. “They will be here for a short time, so I think it best if we show them how Asgard truly is.”

There was a raising of chalices, tankards and glasses as the room loudly cheered its agreement. After Odin sat, his sons followed and so too did the rest of the room.

“Well, I feel welcome.” Stark beamed as he brought a chalice to his mouth before smelling it and stopping. “Is this the super strong Asgardian drink Thor said was not meant for mere mortal men?” He asked looking at it.

“It is simply mead, a honey liquor, it is quite light,” Fandral explained to him. “If you rather something stronger, that can be arranged.”

“NO!” The warriors were somewhat startled when not one, or even two, but the whole group of Midgardians unanimously shouted the same thing at one.

“I would not recommend it,” Coulson stated plainly.

“If you threaten to taser me and watch Supernanny again…”

“Haha, there’s an image.” Hill laughed.

“Yeah, well I…I…I can’t believe what I am seeing.” Stark began before his jaw went slack, the rest of the Avengers turned and stared too.

Escorted by two maids, Alexia came into the room, dressed as none of them had ever seen her. The Aesir stared at her, several of them gasping, and others murmuring at how the dress she was wearing indicated to her somewhat elevated status.

“Okay, before with the Renaissance Fair with Wi-Fi, I was hardly able to compute what I was seeing, but this is making me feel like Windows 95,” Stark stated. “Who knew she looked like that!”

“Do not speak about my daughter in that tone,” Coulson warned, though he too was stunned at seeing Alexia in such attire. Ever since she was about three years old, she rebelled against anything overly feminine, and on the top of that list had always been dresses. And the idea of Tony Stark of all the slime balls in apparently not just Earth, but going by the interested faces among the people of Thor's realm too, he felt as though he would have an aneurysm were it not for the fact he could not keep an eye on the situation.

“You are aware she is in her late twenties right? I mean, the only person capable of remaining a virgin passed the age of twenty-one is Cap.” Stark began, earning him a glare from Rogers and a look from Coulson that was only outdone by his shaking with fury. “I love the double standards of parents.” Stark chuckled. “It is fascinating how hypocritical they can be.”

“You really are asking to get that goatee smacked clean off your face,” Hill warned him.

“I see many of you have realised there is something extraordinary about this particular Midgardian, but for those of you who are not as sensitive to the auroras of other realm beings, I shall enlighten you. The Midgardian by the name of Alexia is the Wielder of Elements.” There was a collective gasp around the hall. “Yes, it is with great elation we can declare that such a powerful wielder is of our time, still so untrained, and yet so powerful as to near sink a Midgardian war boat.” Odin continued. “Asgard will play host to her, and train her to wield it properly. It is a great honour that we also host some of those who aid protect Midgard from threats, both domestic of their realm and of other realms, the group my son tells me are his great allies.”

“I wish he was as welcoming when Thor asked for us to be brought,” Hill commented.

“The Allfather has not had many dealings with Midgard, and none of the ones he has had have been pleasant,” Sif informed her.

“So he distrusts us?” Rogers frowned.

“As a race, I am aware that is a great generalisation, but our experiences with Midgard has been that your race is fuelled by fear and greed,” Volstagg stated.

“You’re not wrong,” Stark commented taking another drink.

“I think I actually have to agree with Stark on this one.” Rogers concurred.

“Oh great, sound the alarm, the apocalypse is upon us.”

“Very funny Nat.” Rogers gave the assassin a sarcastic smile.

The Avengers watched as the food was placed in front of them. It shocked them just how much, and how exquisite it looked. They all ate their fill, most of them trying most every meal in front of them and commending it all.

Alexia watched them from the seat she had been led to between Thor and Loki. She rather be with the others, but she was forced to remain at the top table, feeling very much like a trophy to be displayed to the room, as though she was every bit the new toy Loki had accused his father of treating her as. She also disliked the manner in which the people of Asgard were staring at her; she was not a museum exhibit. Her eyes caught those of her father for a moment, and for some reason, the image of him when he spat at her that she effectively betrayed him when she had begun to associate with Loki came to her mind. Giving a small smile to the room, she stared at the plate in front of her, which was filled with odd and peculiar foods.

“Loki.” The prince looked at her. “What is this?”

“Better than your realms foods, I assure you.” Was all he replied, not informing her anymore on the foods she was about to eat. “They will assist your recovery.”

“That isn’t very comforting.”

“It is true Lady Alexia; these foods are the finest in the realms for powerful beings, to allow their bodies the nourishment necessary to perform to their highest abilities,” Thor added.

“No, I believed Loki when he said it was good for me, it’s just on Midgard ‘superfoods’ as we call them usually taste horrific.” She grimaced, using the fork in her hand to stab an odd looking vegetable, or what she assumed was a vegetable, on the end of it, she timidly took a bit, it seemed somewhat raw, but overall, it seemed like a carrot, so she took another bite. “It is actually not as bad as I was expecting.” She admitted.

“Wait til you try the meats.” Thor grinned, bringing what seemed to be a T-bone steak to his mouth, swallowing all but the bone in a few bites.

“You realise you eat like a ravenous wolf, don’t you?” Loki sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I like food.” Thor shrugged unapologetically; Loki simply rolled his eyes again.

After the meal, the Princes and Alexia were permitted to join the other Avengers and Warriors once more. As they walked towards them, Alexia found she was trying to hide between the tall princes. “Remain calm,” Loki warned her.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Deal with them staring at you.”

“They will have something new to stare at soon, you are just interesting for today.” Loki dismissed.

“That is being a bit flippant Loki; it is not every day a Wielder is discovered,” Thor argued. Loki glared at him. “There is no point in trying to sugarcoat.”

“Thank you, both of you.” She gave a small smile as they came closer to the warriors and Avengers.

“Well look at you.” Stark beamed as she came to the table. “I need to take a photo, Pepper will never believe me otherwise.” He took out one of his electronics from a pocket and rose, taking pictures of her as she looked at him in bemusement.

“You good?” She asked bemusedly as he continued to grin as he checked the pictures over before putting it back in his pocket.

“I am. In all fairness, I never thought I would see something as you in a dress. JARVIS will not be able to compute it either.” He smirked with a wink.

Alexia threw up her eyes at it, knowing better than to try and argue. “What about Pepper actually?” She asked worriedly.

“I was talking to her not long before we were unceremoniously flung across the galaxy, SHIELD know better than to go to Stark Industries and start pushing around. We have enough dirt on them to destroy them and they know it. If they get cheeky or try to go through JARVIS, everything we have on them goes public.” He winked again.

“I think you have something in your eye.” Barton scoffed, chucking a bit of food at the billionaire.

The warrior’s chuckled as they observed the Midgardians. “We see why they have appealed to you so greatly your time away from us all.” Sif grinned at her friend.

Thor shrugged in response before noting who it was she was sitting with. “Nothing good could ever come of you two befriending one another.” He pointed between Sif and Romanov. “I fear the Norn’s will never forgive us for this.”

[fatal-potato]

NieR: Automata - Demo Impressions

So after what was two hours on a single run of normal mode (from about 12:15 to 2:15 P.M. EST, 20th of January), I finished it while trying to experiment as much as I could (without outside help/research.) In all my years of interacting with action games, I have to say, I’m easily the most impressed I’ve been in years with this genre. Above all else, I want to stress that I acknowledge this is just a demo. I’m not expecting a single assumption here to assuredly be the case with the full product. I’m merely posting impressions based on what the demo thus far implies. We all played MGR’s demo and the release itself, I know not to overhype final expectations on first impressions. Frankly I hope nobody else does either. Obviously I’m not going to go over the most sheer basics of gameplay anyone that even touched the demo would know, so below are my thoughts on everything else.

POSITIVES (GAMEPLAY) Fundmentals of Design As soon as I started the game, it was easy to notice that whoever designed the gameplay got their fundamentals down to a dot. The attack cues from enemies are clear, have distinct visual and audio tells, and give plenty of time to react.

Though I’m not inherently opposed to the use of Quick Time Events, more often than not they’re done in terribly uncongenial methods. Kamiya had a massive raging hard-on for them, so it seems others wanted to follow his lead without knowing what can make QTEs good, natural, or even fun. Such “small” but jarring design elements are absent from this demo (hallelujah) so there’s no reason to believe there will be anything close to an abuse of them this time. Even if there was a Space Harrier portion (covered more in Setpieces), the demo hints that we should largely be free of any “that segment”s.

AND FINALLY, CUSTOM CONTROLS! I’ve always been a fan of default but goodness gracious, this should seriously be a standard. It was nice of them to give us three different schemes as it was but being able to customize one is something a fair number of their past games could have done super nicely with. Better late than never I guess.

Movement Movement (in my opinion) is one of the most underrated and untapped concepts of not just action, but games as a whole. Automata integrates movement through simple but versatile and exceptional means; to the point of creating a definitive crux for gameplay on its own.

I won’t waste time complimenting what good features of the dodge were already accomplished years ago in Bayonetta. What matters here is the straight dash that comes after.

Some of the most important assets to this dash are its free manual activation, cancel window, and wide ranges of direction. Free manual activation provides means for the tool to be much more universally applied. The ridiculous cancel window is probably its most unique aspect, as this helps positioning your moves to extents that would otherwise be impossible. Mixed with the wide ranges of direction, it completes your capacity to dance around your target freely during both combat and combo construction. The dash also goes and lasts quite the distance without being too slow to boot, giving further benefit to how the player can interpret the dash to their own playstyle, whether it’s basic or advanced. The fact you can apply all these perks both on the ground and aerially the same really makes the dash feel worthwhile. It’s an easy, but vital mechanic, and for one you’re going to be using a lot, Platinum made sure to make this one tool feel as exhaustive as can be.

Throw in attacks that can also affect your vector in similar ways, the game’s overall fast pace, and in unison with your moveset, Automata lends itself to likely be one of the speedier action titles ever made, bringing about what may be some of the coolest catering to movement ever wrought in the genre.

I will admit this part may be tooting the horn early (because even with all this I can still imagine even the most creative uses boiling down to essentially the same past results), but I’ve hardly come across singular movement options being able to cover so much on such a basic level, so do excuse me.

The Weapon System Not a lot to say here. The concept of weapons making different movesets entirely based on what button you equip it to has never been done before (to my knowledge, if done well at all), it’s moveset customization and instant moveset switching in the same package, and you get four different weapon types. The glory of this scheme only does itself justice.

Unorthodox Potential from Recycled Systems If there’s one thing I especially love about Automata’s gameplay thus far, it’s how it has the trademark Platinum setup (Dedicated jump button, X/Y = Light/Heavy, Dodge), but unifies the mechanics in such an unusual manner contrast to the rest of its peers; all in ways which point to nothing but positives.

The way the dodge and jump work in tandem with your moveset is without a doubt unmatched in exclusivity. Whether you’re paying attention or not, it’s easy to notice that many of 2B’s attacks revolve around throwing her swords akin to boomerangs. This is expanded upon when you realize this can be done with not just static dials, but with the use of jump and dodge cancels. For example, the AY dial (which is to say, jump off the ground then immediately pressing Heavy) gives the conventional Platinum Rising upper. When done using Virtuous Treaty, 2B stays suspended in a sword-spinning animation unless canceled. But when canceled in its startup window, you’re free to move again as the sword goes on to carry the rest of the attack without 2B having to do anything. Combined with what was mentioned above about dodging, you can see where I’m going with this. For reference, I believe I may have found around a couple dozen attacks that can be canceled the same way, and those are using the demo’s provisions alone. I haven’t seen this named anywhere, and though I’m not calling any dibs, for the sake of convenience I’ll be referring to this technique as Kara Canceling for the rest of the analysis.

Admittedly I am lost on the logic of what makes a move Kara Cancelable (as what research I’ve done yielded no such results for Fists), but I suppose it’s just something that will require the full game to conclude. I may not have time for it today but I’m considering a returnto Hard Mode and trying it again soon before release. There’s still a lot I have to test that I could neither confirm nor deconfirm on my first run.

Though I haven’t been able to (de)confirm this, I also have reasons to believe (mainly due to different animations) that dependent on the timing of your Kara Cancel, you can change the property of said Rising attack. Doing it in one half of the startup window (I believe) causes Virtuous Treaty to carry the enemy a set vertical distance while cutting the animation (and thus damage) short, as the other half of the window may cause Virtuous Treaty to go even higher while expanding on damage and lastability. Even if this theory on different Kara Cancel properties may be wrong, it scarcely matters, because the application of jump and dodge cancels is so ridiculously large due to their inherent necessity, that there will be plenty more tools to work with the same way by default. Added in with the fact we didn’t get to use any polearms or different weapons of the same class only holds a world of implication by themselves as it is.

I very much doubt Kara Canceling is a glitch either, provided how easy it is to discover. Complete with sprinkles of “nuanced” details (land into jump cancels for Helm Breakers having different timings dependent on weapon, Kara Cancel window timings for different dials, etc.), call me a man with reforged faith that Platinum is finally heading the right direction with technical creativity.

Altogether I appreciate the way these mechanics cohesively cooperate with eachother, because they spell a possible univese of long-awaited innovative advances for the genre.

Setpieces The first Nier has always had some funny schizophrenia between a Berserk-esque tone to its fights, and then sometimes just having Kaine run around as if she was outta some anime. Given that Platinum’s providing gameplay assets, but Taro is calling other shots, it’s easy to see the latter has come to embrace the former’s insane side in compatibility with their own. Unfortunately, said insane side has shown in the past to interfere with the better parts of gameplay when that love becomes an unhealthy obsession. But as far as setpieces go, giant brainless bossfights, such as the one at the end of the demo, can at least be justified to some logical extent.

It’s not too far off from how bosses played in the original; it just enhances what made them spectacles in the first place, with lots more interaction to boot. Additionally, the Space Harrier section at the end if anything shows that Platinum is learning quite well from their past sins. I personally would prefer if it wasn’t a part at all, but that doesn’t mean having to go through it is intrinsically as offensive just because past instances were borderline intolerable. It ended quickly, gave more freedom than most infamous minigames from the company tend to, wasn’t jarringly out-of-sync with the controls used for main combat, and was a decent, fast-paced extravaganza, placed at the absolute end of the level boss.

For something that lasted only a couple of minutes, I think this marks an unprecedented level of humility and restraint for Platinum’s record, compared to if they weren’t to add it at all. It shows their capability to learn from and fix previous errors, whereas not having the STG would have been a fix too, but would have shown less ways in which they learned.

NEGATIVES (GAMEPLAY) Enemy Variety Because this is just a demo, and because I didn’t expect it to, I won’t slaughter it for not impressing me in this regard. But it doesn’t. Based on the normal difficulty, I’ve only been provided the four most common enemy types ever-present in action games (based on properties and weight, of course). The mook, their elite version, the flying enemy, and the big bad boss that doesn’t undergo hitstun. As it should go without saying, there’s a high likelihood of way more types being present in the full game. It’s just nothing about these enemies stand out to me as particularly fun to fight. Hopefully that will change.

Technique Conveyance If there’s a recurring issue that plagues the best entries to this genre, it’s conveyance. It’s not that they lack tutorials, or don’t teach the bare minumum you need to beat the game. But when it comes to advanced techniques, you’ll be hard pressed to find any action game that teaches those good at all.

Maybe the devs just don’t care. But I’m going to go off on a limb here and say that maybe this to deliberately add a layer of longevity by giving its playerbase a period of experimentation. There’s a charm in that kind of thing no doubt, and for certain games that idea really does work. As a matter of fact, I used to lean towards the opinion that this route was more ideal. Yet over the years, it started dawning on me why that opinion wasn’t quite right, seeing the downsides that come with it.

1) It’s bad for the genre as a whole The greatest games continue being played even years after their release. But games that have the deepest gameplay will continue having the same dedicated playerbase for just as long. Why is that? It’s because those playerbases have found something worthwhile and lasting that keeps them coming back for more. Many multiplayer games retain this same attribute, mostly due to their innately infinite skill ceilings. A division of action games have contracted a similar kind of following, thanks to the countless different ways to express personalized play through ostensibly never-ending boundaries. However, what separates these two is that quite the number of multiplayer games are built to be competitively lasting, as even devs there know and support it. Action game developers give off the notion they don’t know how, or just don’t care to support the fraction that wants to take their titles more intricately. And with less advertisement to all directions, the audience receives less encouragement to participate in a characteristic unique to only a few, if not strictly this one single player genre.

2) It could easily be bad for some of the audience Straightforward and self-explanatory. Some people just aren’t labbers, but may totally be interested in playing at a high level.

3) Any intentions and priorities devs may have for longevity are in reverse Suppose Devil May Cry 4 had ChaserTech’s tutorials built into the game, or something similar. Do you think the playbase would’ve cut any noticeable fraction of the lifeline they provided it up until today? The answer is no, and that’s because in truth, longevity doesn’t come from experimentation to find the more general techniques; it comes from finding the nuances they may bring in and of themselves. Take DMC4′s Enemy Step as a very basic example. You don’t master it just because you know of its existence and can pull it off in succession a few times. There’s different move cancel timings, enemy hitboxes, other techniques it can help make a reality (Star Raving, Side Raving, Guard Flying), and so on. From the ground up, there’s an absurd quantity of things for you to master, or even get to grips with, based on this central, defining technique to the series. In no way was a large part of DMC4′s lifespan consumed by merely testing to try and learn of its existence. But maybe this isn’t a fair comparison, as it can be bought in the game’s shop and carried over from DMC3, which refined it from DMC1. Bayonetta as a more widely known example, has Dodge Offset (and its many variants) as the only game to do it right its defining Advanced Technique. It is somewhat taught to you in the game, but kinda cryptically through searching texts that only gives a description on how to execute it. In any case, you still have to come to terms with its dozens if not hundreds of its nuances, in fashion not too dissimilar with many deep games. If you have to center a significant chunk of your combat system’s lifespan in finding the general techniques, you’re probably either not setting your priorities straight, or are trying to hide how little your game truly offers if finding a normal AT creates a relatively big era for it. Or again, maybe you just don’t care.

As for those that like labbing, nuances will at some point require some form of testing or accidents to begin with, so these decisions mostly appear to shoot oneself and a good amount of others in the foot. Then again, maybe I’m just overthinking a relatively small problem that doesn’t matter. Who knows. I mean would it have killed to at least have a movelist or two?

Balance Concerns Again, not much to say here. I’m somewhat uneasy that the line between “I wanna do technical things” and “I wanna grind and mash” may lose its equilibrium in favor of the latter with its RPG elements. This is frankly a small concern though, as balance can easily be adjusted to the hardest difficulties. Or you could just be provided a skill that mitigates damage, so...?

QUICK POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES (OTHERWISE) +Music +Beautiful aesthetic +Great level design +Voice Acting is steps up from the original +Dual Audio +Superb kinesthesia +2B’S GREAT ANDROID BOOTY, STEP UP BAYONETTA -Didn’t get to ride a moose

CONCLUSION Even if every last one of these assumptions end up being wrong, I doubt I can sincerely be disappointed at this stage. The only thing I wanted at the very least with this sequel was “A well-written continuation to Nier with that isn’t a slog to play.” The well-written bit is gonna have to require some patience to judge obviously (not new with Taro). Even after all this, I still don’t think it needs the extra layers of refinement and depth, and am keeping standards as low but realistic as they initially were. Yet the madmen at Platinum went the mile to give us a grander experience anyway. So yeah, I can’t think of any plausible way the game could come to somehow brutally let me down .

According to a friend, Taro has always been a very wild card with his narratives. Ranging from what are essentially confusing comedies to heartbreaking adventures, so I don’t know what to expect in that regard for this game. But I do hope that it goes the route of and lives up to the emotional style that the original Nier bedazzled me with.

All in all I easily estimate from this that Automata has the surefire potential to be one of Platinum’s best releases (and one of Taro’s on virtue of actually having good gameplay). Even the idea of just merging Taro and Platinum is nothing short of a match made in Heaven. Taro’s games are known for great writing, scenarios, and music, at the cost of mediocre gameplay and necessary reruns. Regardless of what you may think of their lineup, Platinum has always been able to boast their unmatched strength in creating some of the best replay value in the industry, despite everything they made that isn’t called “Infinite Space” being pretty short. The two entities naturally seem to cancel out eachother’s flaws and bring about the best of eachother’s strengths at the same time. Furthermore, through the whole development process, they’ve had absolutely zero qualms or conflicts with eachother (as opposed to Kamiya against Microsoft), suggesting this will be top quality in every regard.

So consider me the most excited I’ve ever been in my life for a game based on a demo.