#i call dibs on the salmon suit

[miu15]

@djinndaijun

first date ideas: show your date to everybody in town… wearing a salmon suit

[triplexdoublex]

Good Enough To Eat

Pairing: Colson, Rook, Slim, Baze, Modsun, Travis Barker X Reader

Warnings/Tags: Gangbang, implied consent, all holes filled, Sacrelige, mentions of a foot fetish

a/n: This was much harder to write than I anticipated -- 6 dicks, 6 tongues, 12 hands (and dont even make me do the math on fingers) is a lot to keep track of , especially when they’re all on/in one body at once. Reader is written as not really being familiar with who they all out so you’ll see then more often referred to by description or known references to help you figure out who’s who. Names are only really mentioned when another character is saying them. Also please note Justin and Sophie weren’t around when I started this fic over a year ago , so that’s why they’re not included . Enjoy!

“…Happy birthday, Dear Rookie, happy birthday to you!” Six male voices clamor in celebration, as you lay on the table before them ; your nude body a flesh platter, serving up the freshest array of strategically placed sashimi and rolled sushi.

“Damn, that looks good enough to eat!” The shaggy blonde announces; his words dripping with inuendo.

“KELLS!” The man to his left warns.

“Oh, for Fucks sake Slim you know you were thinking it too.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t say it, cuz I’m polite like that.” Slim responds suppressing a laugh.

It’s not the first time you had a customer say something like that; and in your line of work, it certainly won’t be the last. This time it felt a bit different though— Usually it’s a group of middle aged business men with grey hair and overpriced suits making lewd remarks and trying to get handsy in lieu of using their chopsticks as they feasted off your body, but this time the suggestive nature of the gorgeous, young, heavily tattooed men’s words have you imagining them feasting on your body in other ways.

“Yo, Rook! Listen man I don’t give a shit if it’s your birthday, you ain’t sitting at the end of the table near her feet— g’ the fuck outta my seat!”

“All yours, Kells,” Rook laughs with an eyeroll getting up to switch seats with the tall blonde, knowing his friend's affinity for a pedicured pair.

“Perfect,” he smirks, taking his new seat as he admires your toes.

********

“Aye, yo if none a y’all are gonna be brave enough to go for the last piece above her pussy—I’m calling dibs,” the blonde announces rising from seat, his lanky body towering over you before bending at the waist. He firmly plants his hands on the table; one on each side of your hips and dips his head. “It seems I’ve forgot my chopsticks,” he states, looking up at you through his pale blonde lashes. “and it’s rude to eat with your hands,” he dips his head lower, his mouth just centimeters away from where you were picturing it earlier.

Using his tongue as a scoop, he lifts a small chunk of raw Salmon into his mouth; the decorative leaf placed under it for hygienic purposes is the only barrier between his tongue and where you want it most. He barely has to chew the soft raw fish — it’s so fresh—before swallowing it down.

“Best bite yet,” he licks his lips seductively. “Say, sweet girl— you wouldn’t happen to have any dessert for us tonight, would you? He glides a finger along the seam of where your two bare thighs meet.

His crew and friends shift awkwardly in their seats, beginning to worry the self-proclaimed ‘wild boy’ is taking things too far when,suddenly they take notice of how the blondes touch has your legs spreading easier than butter on warm toast.

“I don’t think we’ll be needing these anymore,” he smirks before removing the three strategically placed leaves and last of your modesty.

He takes your breasts in his hands, groping them as his mouth descends a trail of open mouth kisses down your naked torso. His friends watch in awe as Kells hands and mouth travel lower, his blonde head settling between your thighs. He licks one long languid stripe up your soaked slit before pausing.

“Silly me, where are my manners?” He wipes at his mouth . “Birthday boy always gets the first piece of cake.” He motions to Rook with a smirk.

Rook stands, his pants already tented as he makes his way over to between your thighs. He plucks an elastic from his wrist and quickly secures his braids back— and fuck, he’s even more gorgeous now without the braids obstructing the view of his ever changing hazel/green eyes and sexy dimples. He wraps his arms around your legs and grips your thighs with calloused hands swiftly pulling you to the edge of the table. You let out a surprised squeak at his actions, causing him to smirk as he places a series of kisses descending down your inner thighs before pausing to marvel at your wetness. Using his middle and ring finger he gathers your arousal and brings it to his lips, sucking the sweet elixir from his fingertips. He hums to himself enjoying the way you taste before diving in fully; those same two fingers plunging into you, and his mouth engulfing your clit. It feels like heaven as he slurps and sucks at it and you can tell he’s a man with a lot of experience under his belt — typical rockstar. It’s only a matter of time before the rest of the gang shows off their experience as well, swarming your naked body like ants at a picnic.

A expedition of hungry hands roam over the swell of your breasts and descend down your body to the valley between your thighs. In a state of arousal you allow them to use you as they want; touch, grab, taste and take turns with you as they please— everything a blur of euphoria.

Last you knew the birthday boy was working his magic between your thighs, your eyes squeezed shut in pleasure , but now as they briefly flicker open a vision of the Virgin Mary begins to come into focus and for a moment you think perhaps you died and went to heaven—- it certainly feels that way. It’s not until your eyes fully focus you realize the image is inked upon the bald head of the man devouring you now. The absolute irony of the religious imagery being present during such an unholy act just turns you on even more— just another layer of taboo. The next thing you know it’s as if Jesus himself is hovering over you, long light brown hair dusting across your bare breasts as his cock moves insides you. Your words seem to match your thoughts and you cry out “Jesus Christ!” in a fit of pleasure as the long-haired man repeatedly slams into your G-spot.

“Someone give her something to shut her mouth up” the biblical-looking figure orders.

In an instant you felt a slippery tongue push in past your lips, the sweet taste of Shirley Temples still lingering on the green haired man’s taste buds. For a brief moment as his tongue fights against your own you find yourself wondering about his story— about how long he’s been sober. You noticed he hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol all night despite it being paraded in front of him, the boys downing shot after shot. Your thoughts are interrupted by the man still inside of you.

“That’s not exactly what I had in mind, Mod” he jokes “Slim, show him how it’s done!”

The salty flesh of a hard cock quickly replaces the sweet tongue that occupied your mouth. Standing above you he reaches down pinching both your nipples between his thumb and forefingers, giving them a series of tugs as he forces his cock down your throat. You notice his hands are much softer and less calloused than the other hands that are roaming and fondling your body, and you figure he must play a much more delicate instrument than the others, which is ironic given he’s being anything but with you.

It’s not long before there’s so much going on and you're completely drunk off pleasure that you can no longer even keep track of who’s mouth, who’s hands, who’s fingers and who’s cock, is where. All you know is you’ve came at least three times, you’ve been folded into every position possible , and every orifice is deliciously sore and well used. But your ass might just be the sorest of all, having been the blonde ring leader's favorite most of the evening; his huge cock stretching it and filling it so well. You wonder how much more your body can take and how much longer the men can possibly last, but truth be told, this is by far the best night you’ve ever had on the job and you never want it to end .

[clearlybeardedcheckplease]

Whiskey Headcanon

So here’s the thing I love Whiskey and want more headcanons so it’s now my official job.  This boy is basically the fashion friend, skincare friend, stoic dreamboat to all LAX bros.

First, So Cal Whiskey feels accurate considering the style he wears

This means a number of things, one being he and Random have tag teamed Holster into a pair of salmon shorts that were bought specifically for him

Next this style is actually new-ish for him, it started during his senior year

There is a style squad in the SMH it is filled with Ransom, Bitty, Nursey, and Whiskey

Dex doesn’t care but def has better style then hamburgler Jack Zimmermann and hot mess Holster

Spring C they are determined to get the entire team in to clothes that suit their style but are actually nice

Whiskey takes this super seriously and he actually really loves the entire team

The reason he seems so offput by the team earlier is that he’s trying to break away from the whole machismo idea but like internal gender ideals and stuff it’s super hard

So yes, this is also me rolling with Latino Whiskey, but we have been blessed with someone having expanded that idea, so I’m kind of skipping it

Except there’s a similar effect if you give him El Jimadore in the way that Mollson gets Ransom and Jack going full Canadian, Whiskey goes super So cal, mixing between bro beach slang and valley girl latino, which yes, is the best way to put it because this bitch spills all the chispes when drunk on tequila, like if he has the right drinks, he’ll join the petty squad of Holster and Bitty

“ Like dude his ass is fire” ”He means hot, his ass is hot”

“You don’t even know like ese puta es un pendejo, pero su cujo, you know” “???” “He said that he’s a dumb ass but, his ass, you know” “Ohhhh”

The team uses Chowder and Tango to decrypt drunk Whiskey, which really. It’s not that hard.

So yes he loves the team and Bitty and he initially had a J Zed crush before moving on

Chowder may have zebra ass eyebrows, but the boy takes CARE of his skin, and his spa day buddies are Lardo, Whiskey, Bitty, and Dex

Whiskey works at a lush, and no he doesn’t tell anyone because he doesn’t need them trying to say hi during work, but he has an extensive skin care knowledge and saves certain members (Ollie and Wicks) from themselves and Bacne

Actually he helps EVERYONE, and one time Jack comes in and is like, how much would it take to have you help some team members on the Falconers

Whiskey jumps at it and really the main targets are definitely Tater’I only do soap, no lotion we die like men’ and Poots ‘my skin literaly changes SO fast due to weather and the roadies are gonna kill my ass’ and Snowy ‘sensitive skin, sensitive eyes, literally give me brands that won’t give me hives’

The entire team definitely joins in, and then theyre just like, Jack no wonder we’re gonna give you the A what the fuck

Whiskey learns that Jack ‘my mom is Alicia Phelps, she’s way more famous than my dad’ Zimmermann has been stuggling to help them without coming off like a jerk

I love him but he’s never getting dibs.  Instead the LAX team clears their attic out, shifts some people into it, and gives Whiskey a room  on the second story since attics suck

Bylaw 13 is this guys end of the year goal

Whiskey is definitely one for speeding in his car

He’s there on two scholarships

Whiskey can make  solid pan dulce, but he can’t cook real food, so he has to always ask Tango if he wants something home made

The Lax bros throw him a surprise birthday event that is an all day thing

They had him over for a movie night before his actual birthday, and kept him out of the house so the haus could make him breakfast

They had a haus wide brunch while Some Chads set up the LAX house for a spa day for a few hours, then they took him to a karaoke bar and a dinner, before bringing him back to the Haus for a party

Yes he actually loves karaoke

He will drink before dinner you can’t stop him

He actually will mainly drink wine in a non party setting tbh

It is important to never actually get too fancy with wine because he does not CARE

He listens to a lot of rap and hip hop, but you can catch him singing to Selena if he’s in a bad mood

Tango can out dance him, it’s a fact

Chowder can also out dance him if he’s going hard

He is typically not one for getting really drunk, but he is definitely one for taking off his clothes, the drunker he gets the more comes off

Luckily he rarely gets drunk enough for anything more than his shirt to come off

Epikegster did have him naked for a hot minute, but one of the Chads, Chadwick, covered him with his jacket, which led to two other chads offering him clothes, Chad H, and Brad but we call him chad since it’s his middle name

Chad R had a giant gay crisis at that moment

The entire Team had a crisis