#i buy a lot of second hand plus size clothes from threadup

[buckybarnesss]

gonna drop this confession here this am.

recently i started wearing dresses again. i stopped wearing them in the 3rd grade because i got made fun of, i stopped wearing shorts and tank tops in the 6th, by 8th grade most of the colors i wore were black, grey and blue.

i did everything possible to not stand out despite how fat i was. for my entire high school career i wore a sweat jacket every single day -- in florida -- just to try to swallow myself whole.

it's only been in my late 20s and 30s that i've come around to wearing pinks and florals and dresses once more. things i feel cute in.

i'm extremely self-conscious because of how big i am. i know people look and i know they judge. it's why i have an overdeveloped sense of humor and go out of my way to be polite in public spaces because society never, ever lets me forget that fatness is viewed as disgusting and a moral failing.

the only reason this is on my mind is because i am doing laundry and noticed how much more colorful my wardrobe is now than it was 10 years ago.