#i bought those tickets a long time ago and tbh i was not really feeling it today

[your-littlesecret]

i am high on Hozier

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

Hi:) I made a post with the same questions I'm about to put in here, but then deleted it since I thought I'll be guaranteed to get an answer if I just ask you.

I've been playing MLQC since its launch. To be honest, haven't kept up with the story in years and only continue playing and logging in to get Shaw's cards, but I do know how the game works like the back of my hand.

A few days ago I saw Sylus for the first time on X, and the minute I did I began to debate whether or not I should install Love and Deepspace. Just so I can see what he's like. He's very attractive, and he seems charismatic and mysterious too lol

However, before I decide to download and make a potential commitment, I want to know a few things first. 99% of my questions are general questions, while the other 1% isn't :P

What's the game like? (gameplay, mechanics, options, daily tasks(?), currencies, gacha, etc.)

Are there similarities to MLQC? (gameplay-wise, content, dailies, wish tree, events, etc.)

The cards come with stories, right? I honestly feel stupid asking this, but I'm just that clueless about the game and how it works lolol

Is the game F2P-friendly? (tolerable grinding, fairness in stocking up on required materials, cost of cards, etc.) Is it at least similar to MLQC in terms of abundance in materials and currency?

Do limited cards get re-runs? Or is it that once a card is launched and its event ends, the chance to get it is forever gone?

Can cards only be pulled, or can they also be run in MLQC-style shoot/birthday events and bought using in-game currency (i.e. like the gems in MLQC)?

There's probably a grade to the cards, correct? (SR, SSR, UR, etc.)

I saw on the store that Sylus's 'Wish' event is ongoing at the moment; will his card be added permanently after the event ends, or is this a one-time thing (like the time ltd. Wish Tree events in MLQC)?

Taking into consideration the fact that I'll be a noob with barely any resources, if at all: do I have a chance of getting Sylus's card before the event end if I begin playing soon?

Sorry for all the questions, and thank you for your response in advance :D

hello! firstly i’m sorry but my answers will only have necessary info b/c i’m not in the physical or mental state to go at lengths rn.

(1) it's an otome with action elements i.e. different styles of combats. there's also main story, dates, socmed, mini games, photo booth etc.

(2) idk whether to laugh or cry here tbh. in all fairness, PG really just took every feature of lovepro/ MLQC and upgraded them in LaDS (the combats aside LOL). although personally i don’t have anything positive to say on their writing quality, so you’ll have to figure out your feelings on that yourself ahah.

the dailies are quick once you've been there long enough as it is with most games. the wish tree has pity carry over system. they have two types of gacha pools: permanent and limited. and the two pools have different ticket currencies. there is no exchange system for event cards like MLQC.

leveling up the cards is an extremely tricky business here by the way. it's gonna become an essay if i try to explain, but know that you can never have enough stamina here LOL.

(3) yes. the 5 and 4 stars.

(4) nope lmfao. even if you tunnel vision one bias, it'd be difficult have all his cards without spending. they do have free 5 and 4 star card events though and those give rewards + the limited events often offer some rewards (in-game), but still it'd be hard if you have crappy gacha luck plus their stupid 50/50 choice in the pool almost never works lol and since the game is a simulpub, you won't have the advantage you have with MLQC to plan out your spending.

a friend of mine has done an overview, so please go through that to get an idea: ♡

(5) give it some time 😂 the game is only six months old. eventually all limited cards are re-run in these sort of games.

(6) no, there's no currency only card like MLQC in the game (at least not as of now). all cards are to be obtained through gacha (free ones aside).

(7) yes.

(8) QinChe/ Sylus has multiple events going on at the moment. there's a limited pool that ends on august 1 and you won't be able to get that one after the event until further notice. and the permanent pool also has a limited mechanism right now that will end after the event. but every other card except for event limited card will be added to the permanent pool afterwards.

(9) the permanent cards can be obtained later too (though definitely will be way harder b/c the limited mechanism for the permanent pool will gone then). as for the limited banner, it depends on your luck 😂 70x is the pity for 5-stars. i can't remember if there was any newbie pity, but since there's no guarantee or exchange, it might prove hard to obtain the card without spending if you have bad gacha luck. :/

hope these answer your questions~

—

[tshifty]

i know we have to vote especially in our local elections to effect change, but i see so many people losing hope because of the genocide, losing faith in our democracy overall. i don't blame anyone who feels helpless, often i do too, and i am wondering if you have any advice for how we can keep hope and encourage/explain to others why we must continue to vote and not just give up? i feel if we give up we are letting down palestinians as well as ourselves, but i also see so many people say they won't vote at all because there is not a good choice. i am sorry, i hope you know i don't mean to ask you to solve such a big issue, only to ask for advice for how to motivate people and keep our own hope alive?

hey! this is such an important topic of conversation, and something I talk about on a near daily basis tbh with my friends, my colleagues, people I organize with, my family, etc.

this is a really long answer tbh bc I wanted to answer it thoughtfully, since this is a conversation I see come up all the time. I definitely don't have a perfect answer, I wish I did but this is such a complex and nuanced issue that we're all trying to work through yk. but I'll share what I talk about, and some really insightful things I've learned from my communities as well, that might be helpful.

I think the biggest thing that I've been focusing on is the concept of voting as a tool, and really honing in on the fact that there are a lot of political offices we can vote for. I think that voting is still a very important and powerful tool of democracy, and is especially important for local politics. something I have learned, and come to see be extremely effective, is avoiding rhetoric of vote shaming, avoid focusing on the top of the ticket too. people have very real hesitations and doubts about the president. same goes for a lot of senators and congresspeople too. ultimately, we each have to decide what level of moral depravity we are able to stand and still vote for, and that is going to differ for people based off their own experiences. but voting shouldn't be a zero-sum game in the sense of you have to vote for every office to have voted at all. so I focus local, I talk about supporting school board candidates and city council, looking at state legislatures-- because honestly, that's where politics has the most direct impacts on people. I personally still see a lot of importance in voting strategically in congress, and somewhat still in the senate, so I also do still hold that energy.

now that said, I do think we are well beyond a political environment in the united states where we can genuinely influence the white house. and that's a really scary conclusion to draw, because it will have absolutely detrimental impacts on this country. but ultimately, we (and I mean "we" as like a collective of american politicians and people) have unfortunately reached a point where the presidency is bought and paid for, and so is most of the senate... and most of congress too just to a lesser extent. now, are there differences between trump and biden? of course there are. the issue is though, the democratic and republican party establishment have BOTH shifted so far right, that democratic policies today are where republican policies were 30 years ago. and even more evident recently for a lot of people is that, no matter what party, there are many issues that democrats and republicans are both horrendous on as institutions. colonialism is one of those-- the united states has never been on the right side of that. and when it comes to war machines and foreign policy, joe biden and donald trump are much less different than you would hope. the foreign policy that has developed at the federal level in the US has truly had very little to do with who sits in the white house-- a lot of the horrifying things trump did while in office had been being set up for a long time coming.

so where does that leave us right?

I think something that we have all forgotten for a while, and need to really bring ourselves back to, is the notion of what a democracy actually is. what does it mean to live in a democratic society? we have been living in crisis mode for quite a while now, and in crisis people do not make good decisions. the fact that our national politics are at a point where there wasn't earnestly a primary on either side, should scare everyone. that's horrifying, particularly given how deeply unpopular both candidates are. that's not democratic.

I also think we need to be really honest about the fact that, we are supposed to be able to hold our president accountable in a democracy. we are supposed to be able to have these conversations, to dissent and protest and strike without being met with repression and violent state police. protest is meant to be disruptive. protest is what has earned every right any of us have today. and when the sitting US president actively speaks out AGAINST protest? that's a really scary sign of eroding democracy. and that president most recently who said that? was joe biden.

I have personally given up on the white house. that doesn't mean I won't cast a vote for that race, that is a decision I will make for myself. but in terms of expecting any real change from the office, in terms of relying on the office to do absolutely any good for this country? the white house is long gone. the senate is gone too if we're being honest with ourselves, yet I still fight there knowing that. we need to focus our efforts on state legislatures, we need to focus on congress, we need to focus on school board and city council and judges. that's who I'll always turn out to vote for.

this has also been very focused on voting, which is important, but voting isn't the only tool available to us. protest is equally powerful when done strategically, and is a fundamental pillar in a democracy. using our voices collectively in dissent needs to get just as much attention as voting does. and so do learning circles, community education, mutual aid, culture sharing and learning, spaces for people to unlearn and relearn... if we are to actually create lasting change, we are going to ultimately need to break down the walls built to divide us. and that's really hard, it takes time, and it fundamentally cannot be accomplished by voting alone.

so this was a lot! super long, I do apologize for the length lol it got away from me. but TLDR; voting is important but it isn't the only important thing. and local politics matters more than the presidency, in my opinion.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

a v long anon rant about a certain kind of betrayal that on one hand might seem silly but wiyllt understands, it is Min Yoongi and you all know how I feel about that guy

I am going to rant a little okay.

(narrator: it did not turn out to be a little but that is okay XD)

So for the first time in my life I felt extremely disappointed and hurt. And I am not sure how to go about this feeling. It took a huge toll on my mental health recently and tbh I am over feeling like shit over this.

This all started like 2 months ago? I found out that my relatives got tickets to see Yoongi. Initially I was so happy for them but then I felt really shitty about it.

A little backstory, a couple years ago I showed them some videos of BTS and they became fans. Then we promised that we would all go to the next bts concert together. Now I don't mind that they got tickets to see yoongi. I love that for them but its the way in which they acted.

So when I found out, they weren't the ones to tell me. You would think that they were so excited about it that they would message me about it. And i felt so shitty that I had to find out from other people that they were going. Like aren't we close enough for you to tell me?

(uh oh)

And secondly, they knew very well that they were going to purchase the tickets and they never asked me if I would like to go as well. I didn't have any initial plans to go due to my finals being around the same time as the shows but they did not know that. I felt really disappointed about this because we all planned to go together and stuff.

This was their first bts concert and I am not sure if they were trying to gatekeep their experience or something like that and they wanted to go alone but it honestly made me feel really sad and just disappointed in our relationship. They posted a lot on instagram when they attended the concert and it made me feel even shittier. And they captioned some of their posts and I felt as if they were writing those captions to spite me. Oh and they didn't go alone. They went with their friends as well. So they had time to ask their friends to go and they did not even ask me or tell me that they were going.

I am not trying to take credit but if it was not for me they would not have been fans in the first place. And they know very well that Yoongi has an extremely special place in my heart and I would have loved to see him live. As you may know wiyllt, his lyrics and everything is truly unmatchable.

And to make things even shittier, I had an exam scheduled for the same day as the concert so I kept telling myself that it happened for a reason bcz if I had bought the ticket then I wouldn't have been able to go. But you know what happened? Somehow my final got postponed! Yes, fucking postponed to 2 weeks later! So it would've worked out for me to go. Its like the universe was rubbing it in my face you know. Like fuck you, you're not seeing Yoongi. And the thing is, this is fucking Agust D. When will there ever be another opportunity to see Agust D? (He performed "burn it" and I got so sad that I wouldn't be seeing that live)

I honestly did not expect my relatives to be this way. I don't think I am overreacting at all. I am extremely disappointed and angry and sad and just overall unhappy about this entire thing. It took a huge toll on my mental health. It honestly isn't about the fact that I couldn't go. There are a bunch of concerts that I couldn't attend and i am okay with it. Its just how they treated me in the process. Its so sad that now I don't even want to speak to them anymore because I am so hurt by what they did. And even after posting all their stuff, they never messaged me or called me to tell me about it. I truly don't understand why they did what they did.

I am only ranting because this has been affecting me since I found out that they were going (about 3 months?) and its been like a week or 2 since they attended the show. (They went to the first 2 shows in New York) And I am still feeling really hurt and disappointed and tbh I am over it but I can't seem to stop feeling this way. I feel like this is the first time that someone truly hurt my feelings and I honestly didn't think it would be them. I cried way too much about this and I have fucking finals to write and I am truly so demotivated because I feel like shit. Also I am a very happy person and so all this emotions that I have been feeling lately is quite new to me and I don't know how to deal with it. Most days I am fine but then I find myself feeling hurt and I cry a lot which is so unlike me.

[this is a long ass rant sorry!]

I was thinking of going to Korea for the show but I will have to go alone and I am not about to fly to the other side of the world on my own. I am fluent in the language but it is still scary to travel alone.

Damn.

What the

(please don't kill me, the impulse was too strong lmao)

Man. I usually take the objective standpoint (I don't want to take sides, although I can't say I always succeed), but this is Yoongi and I am CLEARLY BIASED. What the fuck is this passive-aggressive bullshit? Maybe I shouldn't say that. Whether or not it was a "mistake" or "trying to spare you the pain" (quotes for the thick sarcastic tone I'm using rn), that's some shit. I can see why you would feel hurt, even if it wasn't done with malicious intent.

If all this was meant to hurt you, fuck them.

(not actually... you know what I mean!)

It's totally up to you if you want to bring up your grievances with them or not. It'll be a painful conversation. I don't even know if it will bring you closure at this time. Maybe later. I can also see valid reasons to let it go. It's not worth it to hold onto this stuff, ya know? They aren't worth your energy. You've now seen the type of person they are. I think it's understandable if, moving forward, you are kind but also not too close, especially if you were going to be treated like that. At least for now.

Yeah, maybe your relatives don't owe you anything. Yeah, maybe other people reading all this think it doesn't mean much. Yeah, yeah, but I also know how important music is to life, and if you really connect with music, enough to bring others into the excitement to share it with you... sure, maybe in the flurry of buying tickets, they didn't ask you to come. I think you would understand if it was monetary - if they said something after buying them. As you say, timing matters.

I hope putting words to your feelings has made you feel better about it. Sometimes you just need to say you're angry / sad to validate your feelings. I don't want you to stay this way forever though. There will be other chances. Other times meant to be. The best is yet to come, remember? Someday, maybe you can tell your relatives that you felt very upset during this time because you wanted to share that experience with them and you felt left out. Even if you did have that exam, at least someone thinking of you would be nice. At least.

I'm sorry it took me a long time to say something. Actually, idk if you even wanted a response lol. A final note though - I do most everything alone, especially anything related to BTS. I believe you can fly across the world. If you can get tickets to the Korea concert, do it. Life is short. It's still fun, and you can always tell me (and the rest of the blog) after! I've even been thinking that I should visit Korea, but the Korean words I know are only "hello" and "fuck" so, honestly, you got a leg up on me LMAO

Life will always be scary. Still, every time you go to a BTS concert, you're not alone. You can always count on ARMY, esp K-ARMY.

low-key hoping you'll do the crazy thing but also I'm crazy so don't listen to me

Plan something fun to look forward to. With friends, other family, or yourself. Finals are almost over. You should reward yourself with something fun and future plans will help shake off this feeling. :)

[acrispyapple]

Hi! I want to ask, but do you think the sexy voiced stories in IkeVam is worth it? Or nah? I haven't seen much of what card/kind of story is in it and it's a lot of gems so I'm a bit undecided if I wanna go for a pack or not. Thank you!

heya! i’m just going to copy paste my previous answer (from months ago) since i still feel the same way about the stories! ♡

heya! i didn’t buy it. it’s -short- and i don’t think it’s worth it– but that’s just me. if you have the money for it, go for it! my friend bought one of the boys’ stories, and she didn’t feel all that great about the purchase either. (≧◡≦) ps: it'll keep coming back anyway. so you can buy it some other time!

heya! byron’s birthday? the day after you sent this ask, they released the announcement for byron’s birthday haha. tbh, cybird’s scheduling for the en version has been extremely wonky recently. ✿

it’s either the birthday story sale announcement and actual release comes too early then goes away quickly after the suitor’s actual birthday (happened to me in ikerev, birthday stories are usually still on sale within a week after their birthday but for luka it went away), or it comes really late. (ಠ_ಠ)

i’ve been a long-time cybird customer and i respect them a lot, but the quality of their service has just gone down recently. don’t expect proper announcement dates and intervals. (。。)

heya! sorry, i used to get all the after episodes but-- i’m losing interest nowadays. i mostly buy byron / sid / albert in midcin now. an occasional leo or giles if it seems spicy haha ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

heya! well, it’s too late for this first tip now, but here it is anyway! you can set your chapters to one -near- royal challenges in advance (not exactly at a chapter that ends in a royal challenge because you can’t switch routes when you have a pending challenge in midcin), then take advantage of switching routes during a story lucky time. it’ll give you a few extra bonuses. ☆

then the usual tips:

use up your stamina whenever it’s full. time it for when it gets full again (20 stamina per hour) to maximize the insignia you can get.

visit the event page every morning and evening to get free insignia each time!

you can buy 5 insignia a day with gold but that’ll cost you 10K gold a day~

also, make sure to check when there’s going to be a ticket or lesson lucky time so you can make the most of those too. save up your tickets for the day if there’s going to be a chapter lucky time coming.

during lucky times that’s when you can use your extra items for stamina and spare chapter tickets.

use up all “event only-limited” items before the event ends. (°◡°)

[yeolkisses]

15 Questions Tag

Tagged by @vroomvroombaek, thank you so much and I hope you’re doing well!! 🥺💖💓💕💞💖💗💝

Tagging @masterninjacow @papillonsgf @sunsmileyeol @kimkaijong-in @starchild--27 @nctloveclub @eajbork and anyone else who wants to do this ✨

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

Well it was actually just my birthday not too long ago, and I asked for a couple albums. Aside from those, I got gift cards and a pretty rock

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

I think it was Wave by Ateez

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

Usually whatever fruit we have in the house, or a piece of sourdough bread

4. What is your morning routine?

Currently, I wake up at around 6:50, work out with my mom for about an hour, then make coffee and sit on the couch with my kitties lol

5. What mythical/cryptid creature would you be?

A mermaid or a fairy! When I was really little, I used to think I would one day turn into one or find out I was one like all those shows and movies where something weird happens and the girl suddenly finds out she’s actually been whatever this whole time

6. How do you interact with somebody that you don’t like?

Definitely depends on who/why I don’t like them. A lot of times I can be cordial or tolerant, but if it’s someone I absolutely cannot stand, I won’t talk to them or acknowledge them unless absolutely necessary (I think this really only applies to 1 person though tbh...it’s for a good reason)

7. How do you define a toxic person?

Someone who is constantly taking without giving anything in return, is hypocritical and/or invalidates/belittles another’s feelings and interests (especially while constantly emphasizing their own & forcing them on others), refuses to see things from another person’s point of view, unable to take responsibility/blame, etc.

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fan meet type of event? If not, would you want to?

No 🤧 I had tickets for the Ateez concert in April but because of COVID, it was postponed. I would love to go to concerts and fan meets, but honestly it just seems kinda unrealistic to hope for. Tickets are pretty hard to get (I managed to get the Ateez tickets because an absolutely lovely soul on twitter gave me a presale code) and when I am able to buy them, the dates never work out (INCREDIBLY bitter that I missed a Day6 concert last fall for a marching band competition)

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

Not at all, but I just think it’s fun to read posts about it if I come across them and whatnot. I think it’s just the way I was raised...I remember one time in elementary school we went on a field trip to a planetarium and in the gift shop I bought a keychain (a tiny glass bottle filled with glitter) with my sign on it and for some reason I went to my grandma’s afterwards (it was probably a weekend, I used to spend every weekend at her house) and she was kind of scandalized by it lol

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), what would you want?

This is harddddd, I think it would be so weird to reach out and touch something but not feel it lol. I’d say sight though, seeing feels like it’s the most essential really.

11. Who is your favorite celebrity or idol?

Of course, Chanyeol.

12. If you could talk to your favorite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

If I could talk to Chanyeol, I would tell him how much I appreciate and admire him and how driven he is (because honestly!! The boy can do and does literally whatever he puts his mind to, and he’s constantly pushing himself to try and learn new things and improve (because he’s so competitive lol), and that’s the way I want to live too). I would tell him how happy he makes me and so many other people, and how I hope he is truly happy and lives a happy life, because it’s what he deserves.

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going?

I wanna go to the beach so badly so the beach!! But honestly I’m good with anywhere, a coffee shop, a bookstore, even just going for a drive.

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

Savory for sure. Occasionally I get cravings for sweet things but it’s usually only around my period.

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favourite artists? If so, what?

I have a lot of albums and posters, plus a few magazines, two EXO photobooks, and the Exo 2019 Seasons Greetings. I also have a couple shirts.

[purplesurveys]

961

What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Unsettling films are my jam, man. To name a few, there’s Eraserhead, Room, Midsommar, Eyes Wide Shut, Misery, and most recently, I’m Thinking of Ending Things. Eraserhead takes the cake though. That movie always makes me queasy...

What unethical experiment would have the biggest positive impact on society as a whole? I’m a firm believer in nothing good ever comes out of unethical practices. I’ll never forget reading about an experiment where a group of newborn babies were given basic needs like food and being bathed, but weren’t shown any affection whatsoever and it was meant to see if humans can survive with just the most basic physiological needs. By the end of the experiment period half of the babies were dead. The results were honestly a lot bleaker than how I’ve put it, but I don’t wanna be a downer lol. Suffice it to say that experiment haunted me for days after reading it.

When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? It was around a week or so ago, I’m pretty sure.

Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base? My sister is into K-pop and I hear insights from her all the time, but her one constant is that BTS breeds the most annoying, toxic fans. I’d have to agree. Ariana Grande’s fandom was also annoying at one point, but I haven’t heard much from them making a mess these days.

What are you interested in that most people aren’t? Autobiographies.

If you were given a PhD degree, but had no more knowledge of the subject of the degree besides what you have now, what degree would you want to be given to you? Why would I deserve a PhD on something I’m clearly not qualified for...I’m not sure I’m following this question right, but I don’t feel like thinking too hard about it.

What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement? I’m happy with the features that are widespread now, but I wish companies adhere more to countries other than the common ones like US, UK, Australia, etc. I always see ads about phones being able to tell you how much movie tickets cost or track boarding passes, but those are all irrelevant here. It makes a lot of Apple’s basic apps useless on this side of the world haha.

What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? Long-term effects of poor habits like not getting enough sleep or drinking too many cups of coffee. I know because I’m guilty of this.

What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? “I won’t think about that now, I’ll think about it tomorrow,” but I usually say it to myself, especially when I feel stressed.

Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents? Better, but idk if that’s just me being biased because my generation will be the next parents lol. I just think that a lot of Gen X parents still have a lot of dated prejudices and mindsets that my generation was able to learn better from. For example my mom doesn’t like using people’s preferred names, especially if they’ve transitioned -_____- and I know I’d never want to set such an example for my kids.

What’s the funniest joke you know by heart? I know I’ve come across hilarious ones but I always fail to come up with one when asked on the spot.

When was the last time you felt you had a new lease on life? LOL RIGHT NOW

What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having? It’s more stupid than funny and I know I’ve already mentioned this before, but Covid Bryant as a first and second name still takes the cake for me. My sister went to school with a girl whose name is just her surname backwards, and for a time I was really weirded out by it. But in the times I’ve seen her she really owns her name and never looks bothered by it, so I quickly stopped caring.

Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money? For me it would have to be organizations for animal welfare.

What TV show character would it be the most fun to change places with for a week? Post-El Camino Jesse Pinkman. I wouldn’t want to live through his chaotic shit  from Breaking Bad, but his fate after El Camino is something I’m super envious of.

What was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now? Flip phones, Blackberry phones, Roshes, Frappuccinos.

If you were moving to another country, but could only pack one carry-on sized bag, what would you pack? Phone, laptop, their chargers, important IDs, some of my favorite tops and jeans, underwear, essential toiletries, wallet, a family photo, a journal and pen, earphones, certain knickknacks to remember Gab and my dogs by. Minus the clothes, all of these are pretty tiny so I think these would all fit in the bag just fine.

What’s the most ironic thing you’ve seen happen? I don’t know. I’m not really a fan of rating the most/worst this and that stuff in my life, either. I feel like I unnecessarily rack my brain too hard for them when I take surveys to have a chill time.

If magic was real, what spell would you try to learn first? Probably something that’d keep my dogs from dying.

If you were a ghost and could possess people, what would you make them do? No thanks. I’d be the chillest ghost tbh, I’d like to just sneak up on people’s business and hang out but never interfere in them.

What goal do you think humanity is not focused enough on achieving? Climate change, global warming, alleviation of poverty. Corporations and the few people who actually have the power and money to change things only ever come up with short-term shit like donations and never look at the big picture. What problem are you currently grappling with? So many personal ones. But just like the recurring theme of my surveys so far, “I don’t want to get into it.”

What character in a movie could have been great, but the actor they cast didn’t fit the role? As much as I love Kristen Stewart, I heard she was cast as Princess Diana for an upcoming film and I’m not really feeling that decision. They could’ve gone with a British actress for starters?????? The movie is still in production but it is pretty annoying to think about lmao.

What game have you spent the most hours playing? Probably GTA: San Andreas as a kid.

What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in? Luxury hotel beds are always so fluffy and comfortable.

What’s the craziest conversation you’ve overheard? Omg one time at a coffee shop Gabie and I sat beside this older couple that obviously was going through some heavy SHIT. There was a lot of animosity and tension between them and I caught the lady silently break into tears a few times. I never overheard anything but then again they sat in silence for hours until the lady finally walked out on him. Never knew what it was about but I’ve always guessed that the man did something crappy, like cheat, and was discovered. It was a really sad sight and a crazy situation to witness and I think I felt even more sorry because they were obviously in their 50s or 60s. I hope the woman is in a better place now as she looked rough as fuck that evening.

What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? I wore a lot of hats when I was in my college org, and that was on top of balancing my acads as well.

What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it? That scene from Friends where Ross plays the keyboard for Chandler, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel.

What artist or band do you always recommend when someone asks for a music recommendation? It depends on what music they’re into and if I have actually have a recommendation in mind for them. I obviously can’t suggest Paramore to someone who mainly listens to metal.

If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? I’m down for any monuments that are super ancient like Stonehenge or the Pyramids of Giza.

If animals could talk, which animal would be the most annoying? I’d go with frogs, but only because they get annoyingly loud in the evening.

What’s the most addicted to a game you’ve ever been? Playing The Sims, Mario Kart, Rock Band, or games in the Burnout franchise.

What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? Japan was so fucking cold when I was there. Didn’t do my research and ended up being dressed poorly, and I was so cold I could barely talk to my parents or fully enjoy my time. Sagada was also nearly unbearable in the early morning.

Which protagonist from a book or movie would make the worst roommate? Not from a book or movie, but BoJack Horseman. Diane can also be in the running as I always found her too whiny. I get that she had her personal shit to deal with, but I don’t think living with her would be good for my own sanity and mental health.

Do you eat food that’s past its expiration date if it still smells and looks fine? It annoys my chef dad to death that I don’t lol. No matter how great it looks, I’d bounce. I once ate expired Kit Kats that tasted like cardboard and that scared me off of expired food forever.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought? I once bought a stupid novelty soap that to this day I’ve never even opened. It’s in one of my drawers, and I plan to just throw it out at some point.

What’s the funniest comedy skit you’ve seen? Not a fan of these but one that got to me is Dear Sister from SNL.

What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten? A few years ago there was a local breakfast place that offered red velvet pancakes for a limited time and I was all over that crap, so I went and ordered. The actual pancakes ended up not being any bigger than my palm, and I remember not being able to hide my disappointment once the server placed the dish on my table haha. I felt so scammed. I had to order something else to feel full, because those pancakes were stupidly small.

What tips or tricks have you picked up from your job/jobs? One of my superiors, when she was presenting a pitch to our director yesterday, kept asking questions and picking at the director’s brain so that she can get suggestions and answers straight from the director herself and so that she didn’t have to do any brainstorming anymore. I thought that was a pretty nifty and clever hack.

What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? Hiking a mountain!

What songs hit you with a wave of nostalgia every time you hear them? Umbrella by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z.

What’s the worst backhanded compliment you could give someone? Idk, anything can be the worst depending on the context. I’m not a fan of giving those, though.

What’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched? Unsolved Mysteries’ Dupont de Ligonnès episode was a lot of fun to watch.

What was the last song you sang along to? I think it was Thinking of You by Katy Perry? but I’m not entirely sure. I haven’t sung along to anything in a while.

What app can you not believe someone hasn’t made yet? I don’t really download and use a lot of apps other than the basic ones, so I don’t care too much.

When was the last time you face palmed? Last night.

If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? I’d give it away to the Martial Law museum currently being made near my university so that it can do more to show the atrocities of the Marcoses. And so that I can piss off my pro-Marcos relatives.

Which of your vices or bad habits would be the hardest to give up? Uh hating myself, if that counts.

What really needs to be modernized? Public transportation systems in this country.

[szopenhauer]

Do you like Chanel purses? no

When was the last time you had Pepsi? ages ago

Do you know anyone with exaggeratedly big muscles? not personally

What is your favorite endangered animall? elephant

Can you name someone with the same last name as you? my parents

Who was the last person to scream your name? ...

By the way, that wasnt meant to be perverted.  too late  I have no idea why I thought about that - no one ever screamed my name this way and nobody ever will :x

Do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? it seems Name something that you are doing tonight. nothing and I realized that I don’t want to go to sleep more than ever before, I just don’t want to wake up tomorrow and yet I’m scared of dying (suffering)

Do you like the smell of a barbecue? nah

Would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now? too young for me Are you more likely to show affection through your words or your actions? words I guess Do you have an easy time falling asleep? I wish Are you a crier? crybaby Do you like to wear makeup? no Do you have a high tolerance for people? pfft Do you like your bed? why not How many times have you been to the ER? few

Are you wearing shorts? basically never

Do you eat randomly, just whenever the hell you want? ...

Did you have trouble getting up this morning? yeah What’s a few things that automatically make you go, “Awww”? cute little dogs Do you have soft hands? Do you like holding hands? do I? I like to hold hands tho What’s your opinion on perfumes that are REALLY expensive?  dumb, I hate perfume but expensive - that is ridiculous! Have you ever really hated a teacher and practically made it clear you did? Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Are you a little bit cautious around horses? Do they scare you a bit? I’m just a cautious person in general  If you could live next door to ANYONE, who would you want to live beside? love of my life, I mean - we can live together but for now it would be cool if we were neighbors at least, you know what I mean? Do you think your friends are pretty? Do your friends think your pretty? what friends... Are you currently worried about your parents finding out about something? maybe mom about that one particular thing that starts on S and ends with X

What is your opinion on air pollution? less cars!

Were you forced to read ‘The Odyssey’ in high school? from what I remember

Who was the last person to come visit you? M.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? recently

Do you own any superhero shirts? nope

What is your opinion on the “Team Edward/Team Jacob” shirts? I dislike Twilight

If you had to teach a class, what would you teach? if I really had to then art

How did your parents meet each other? personal

What profession do you think is the most under-appreciated? garbage collectors, those who clean the streets or hospitals, postmen etc.

Have you ever drawn on someone while they were sleeping? don’t do that

Does time really heal all wounds? Or is that just a trivial saying? trivial saying

Where is your favorite place to take a nap? I don’t do naps but my bed

Would you rather lose all your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? not be able to make new

Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I don’t drive

What’s a tradition you hope never dies out? it’s a secret

Do you have any exes you’d consider dating again? I’m dating my ex 

Have you ever went a year without getting your hair cut? yes Do you think you could go a week without sugar? without sweets? I already do, I don’t even drink tea with sugar  Would you be willing to go one day each week without meat? absolutely Do you feel comfortable telling people how much you weigh? whatever Are you any good at sewing? I know basics Have you looked at any old photos of yourself lately? this year Do you carry a calculator around with you everywhere? I don’t need it that often Do you like to plan things out or just go with the flow? plan but not strictly

Do you garden at all? If so, what types of things do you grow? I help my parents which I find pointless because there is always much more work than results Do you consider cooking to be an art? when done right How many pairs of sunglasses do you own? too many considering that I barely wear ‘em ^^” Are you a fast or slow reader? fast Would you ever spend $500 on concert tickets? hell no Do you know anyone who looks like you? there was a gal who was similar to me on tumblr but younger than me, I lost contact with her  Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor?  yeah :( Are you a short tempered person? oh well...

Does it take a lot to gross you out? I’m easily grossed out  Last time you seen an ocean: never saw ocean in person Do you collect sea shells? not as much as I used to

What is one change you need to make in your life this month? lets not talk about it, ok?

Would you have sex with the last person you texted? done Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? she’s gonna be busy working Do you require a lot of private time? yasss Have you ever told a guy you were a lesbian to get him to leave you alone? it’s because I’m a lesbian lmfao If you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? in my most fav shows plot was more important to me than characters tbh, it’s hard to explain, I hope I’m not the only one who thinks this way haha but in Buffy I didn’t like Xander and Angel was annoying even though he was necessary, I wasn’t a fan of Faith and didn’t understand Riley existence in the universe, also Dawn changed a lot for worse but I swallowed it with patience, in Call the midwife I felt crappy when they took Chummy and Jenny away, I didn’t watch newest episodes so I have no idea who Lucille and Valerie are, I horribly miss sister Evangelina :(

What’s the best part about flying? don’t ask me, I’ve never been on a plane

Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? fragments

Chocolate or Vanilla ice cream? vanilla

If you had to get glasses would you wear contacts? I’d prefer glasses

Are mac’s really better than PC’s? I’m a PC gal

D0 y0u l1k3 t0 t@lk l1k3 a 5c3n3 k1d? *cringe*

When you were red and green clothes do you feel like a Christmas Tree? lol

What TV show has the best theme song? hard choice

New Year’s Plans? I don’t plan to live that long

Would you agree that Sex and The City is the best show ever? no way, I didn’t even care enough to watch one episode of it

Do you call your friends with red hair “ranga’s”? wtf

Have you ever been surfing? me? surfing? r u kidding?

Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? excuse me, I’m into women exclusively

Name a thing in your room that other probably don’t have in theirs: me ha!

What’s your best jacket like? comfy :3

What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? nothing 

If you could pull off any hairstyle, what would it look like? I have couple of ideas ;)

What is the worst thing that happened so far today? my failed appointment as I didn’t get any answers nor help for my heart condition and allergies and that was the last attempt, I have no other ways of fixing things to survive next months, my life;s officially over, I only have suffering and fear left, I’m a burden and I want to kill myself sooner than food or cardiac arrest 

Did that ruin your day? it ruined my LIFE

What’s something good you’re looking forward to? sweet relieve of death?...

What’s something that you think is really cute?

*wish it was mine

Describe your feet: eww, why, better not

If you see somebody crying, do you start crying too? depends

How do you like your hoodies? oversized, without kangaroo pocket in front and/or a zipper, yuk

Is having to pee really badly worse than being really thirsty? it is to me at least

Were you a cute baby? I was a red haired potato

Are you talking to anybody right now? online 

How tall are your tallest socks? I kept my rainbow knee high socks but I don’t use them anymore

Are you waiting for a phone call? at night?...

Do you look forward to swimsuit season, or get really nervous? I was skipping swimsuit seasons for over 10 years until this summer - I bought the cheapest and went to stand/walk in the water and sit on a beach despite my insecurities 

If you could live for a year with any foreign family, where would you go? don’t wanna, scary

What do you wish people would pay you to do? browse the internet XD

Do you take good pictures? I try

Should you be doing something else right now? wash my hair, drink water, commit suicide - who knows

Did that question make you nervous? that question made me sad 

Why don’t girls like porn? some enjoy it 

Tell me a memory of this summer: this summer is all about romantic love, illnesses and nostalgy

Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? a waste but still pretty, sorry love, I know you’d be irritated so don’t worry - I will never do smth like that to ya

[marthfador]

Stole this from Twitter lol. Lost the og post but here’s the blank!

I tried to go for some bands that aren’t as completely well-known as well as some popular ones. I even tried to add some albums I’m fond of for those that I can tell the difference with! Breakdown and song recs under the cut! 

(U don’t gotta for the meme, I just like talkin abt music lol)

Going by rows, we’ll start with Gorillaz. They’re usually the band I mention if someone asks my favs because I’ve been with em since their first album. All of their albums are really good, but I think I’ve had the most fun with Plastic Beach! Humanz is probably my next choice followed by Demon Days. An underrated song from Humanz is Out of Body!

Daft Punk is another group I’ve been with since Discovery, which is quite frankly still one of the best albums out there. Everyone loves One More Time and Harder Better Faster Stronger but one of their overlooked songs that I’m fond of is Face To Face!

Nine Inch Nails.... SIGH. Gotta be that edge, right? But let’s be fair, I’ve gone to the past like 5-6 concerts they’ve put on, I can’t say I’m NOT a fan lmfao. No fav albums since again... 5-6 concerts. That’s 5-6 album drops. They’re all so good. Not to mention I love Trent Reznor... One song I’d say doesn’t get as much attention as the rest is God Given. (But again... Ow the Edge)

Studio Killers! Hello! The band Tumblr has babied up since they first started... I even cosplayed as Cherry for the one con I went to haha. Everyone knows the Ode to the Bouncer, Jenny.... But the most absolute BOP that I’ve fallen in love with the instant I bought their album was Friday Night Gurus. Just WAIT til the chorus, okay!!!

Scissor Sisters start the next row and like... What can you even say about them. I’m surprised they aren’t more of a thing here on Tumblr, their music is so catchy and bouncy and they sing about the wildest things, not to mention I’m pretty sure most of the band is LGBT in some way! While I try to aim for the more vague songs, Don’t Feel Like Dancing is my jam morning noon and night. (Also just LOOK at that video!)

In This Moment was actually a surprise get for me. I first got to see them opening up for another couple of bands and they absolutely stole the show. If you can ever get the chance, see them in concert!! I describe her as the Lady Gaga of metal- her outfits are fantastic and she’s got some hella backup dancers! As for songs, the list goes on... Whore, Blood, Black Widow... But here, have her singing with Judas Priest in Black Wedding. Yes, another edgy band but it’s metal, what do you expect.

Janelle Monae’s entire Dirty Computer album is fantastic and if you haven’t watched the little movie she’s shot to go with it, go do it now! It’s on youtube, what are you even waiting for!! We all love Pynk, The Way You Feel, Crazy Classic Life... But not gonna lie, Americans still gives me chills when I hear it. Not only is it a bop but Janelle def doesn’t shy away from Shooting Shots.

Beck lmfao. I honestly wouldn’t have thought to add him if it wasn’t for the concert I managed to get tickets to not long ago. His concert was PHENOMENAL, not to mention this new album of his was so fun and catchy... I just can’t help now but to say I love him. Not to mention his older hits like Where It’s At and Loser... Colors and Up All Night are so good but the song that blew my mind in concert and I had to get the instant I got home was Saw Lightening.

Des Rocs actually popped up on my Pandora and I had to look him up! Not only do I dig the whole look and aesthetic (black leather jacket wearing greaser guys? Hell yea) but I absolutely do love the sound. It’s got this retro rock feel and like... If you could Bang a Voice, I’d def choose this one lmao. Let Me Live/Let Me Die was the one that started it for me... But don’t miss out on Used To the Darkness either!

Mitski... It actually took me a few times to get onto this Tumblr train but once I got there I wallowed in it. Most of her songs are on my Sad Bitch Hours playlist but you know what? I’d describe listening to her music as sort of cathartic, I can lay down and stare at the ceiling listening to Mitski for an hour and somehow feel rejuvenated. I think Geyser was actually the one that got me into liking her, but Pink In the Night and Strawberry Blonde of course are good.

Florence and the Machine is kinda in the same playlist as Mitski, but I do absolutely love a lot of her songs. Many of them make me rather emotional (My work started playing Hunger and I nearly teared up at the register? Wtf?) but I think that’s kinda why I dig it. Dog Days Are Over is gonna always be my most favorite of them, but if you want one I don’t see many others chatting about, go for Cosmic Love. Big God is also a wonderful video if you haven’t seen it yet.

I’ve already talked and mentioned the Dead South in a previous post, but man do I love these boys! People talk about Gothic Cowboys and boy do these guys deliver. Their songs can be about death, adultery, literally losing your mind, so many other sort of dark topics but with such a catchy tune! Long Gone is a song that I get stuck in my head quite often!

Gogol Bordello... Wow, there’s so much I can say about this band. I believe the lead singer is from the Ukraine, his pal on the fiddle is from a country I cannot pronounce, he has twin backup dancers that are Swedish-Chinese, he has a guitar player from Honduras- this really is just a rag-tag group of people from all over the place making some fantastic music! I was lucky enough to see them in concert and their energy is off the fucking charts, I absolutely adore this group! Most people learn of them from Start Wearing Purple, one of my faves tho has to be When the Trickster Starts A-Pokin’... Also they performed with Madonna once? Hello? (Also I’m in love with Sergio’s fiddlin tbh)

Sofi Tukker is another artist I stumbled upon while listening to Pandora. It seems like many of her songs have a different style than the others, but they’re all so very catchy and have a wonderful energy to them. Speaking of... The song that got me into her best was Energia. I literally cannot listen to this song without moving a little to it, it’s such a poppy and fun song! For an English song though, try Best Friend. (Batshit Crazy is one I find funny too!)

Gold Fish was one I actually had to dig for at the time- one of their songs was playing in the background of one of those shitty Kia Hamster commercials lmfao. It was SUCH a bop even in the commercial that I had to find it! (It was Fort Knox btw) Again, as a lot of my poppy choices here, there’s such a good energy and upbeat sound to everything they do, it’s wonderful listening to. I actually love putting these guys on when doing chores around the house, it’s fun and gets the energy flowing and makes things a little more enjoyable! One that I also love to turn people towards is Get Busy Living. If you can’t tell between these two songs, they’re actually a sort of DJ-ish band- different vocalists and different sounds mixed in, but it’s all very well done!

Jain, another found treasure from a commercial... (Makeba was in a Levi’s commercial lol) I was reading that she was born in France, went to live in India for schooling, and wound up in South Africa to learn different musical stylings there- and it all very well feels like her music flows with all these different influences! I hate when stores use the generic word “ethnic” but I think her music and voice can very well fit in that sort of category. She’s got a lot of bouncy, poppy songs, but also a few more mellow songs as well... But of course I really love the bouncy stuff haha. If you need a song to get your heart pumping in the morning, I’d def recommend Star! A stranger sort of song that still has a great feel is Hope! 

[mark-absolutelyfullycapable-lee]

A Little Jealousy [1] | Lee Taeyong

Summary: Taeyong gets a little too overprotective, and that can cause him to get in trouble—with you and the law.

Pairing: Taeyong x Reader

Genre: angst, sum fluff, slightly yandere!yong

Warnings: some swearing, fighting, jealousy, kinda yandere

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: LET ME START OFF BY SAYING BAD BOY IN LOVE - LEE DONGHYUCK IS COMING SOON!!!!! butttttt my manz Taeyong ;))) nsajbchjbwjbcd this is kinda angst. i’m sorry!!! but it’ll end all good. i was in a relationship for a while where my boyfriend was really jealous and didn’t like my guy friends and lemme tell you, it’s not fun or cool. as much as people write about how jealousy is “cute” it can be something that breaks relationships and friendships and it could even lead to abuse. yeah, everyone can get jealous but if it ever gets out of hand, tell someone. ahhhh sorry for all my speeches i always put but i care about you guys and i don’t ever want you to be sad :(( i love you guys and thanks for the support!

so let’s start with how you and Tae came to be

you met Taeyong at a concert two years ago

One of your friends bought you a ticket to a summer festival for your birthday

since you always spoke about how much you wanted to experience one

at first, you were worried about going to a crowded concert alone

because

let’s be honest

you were scared to go to the movies by yourself

how could you go to a whole day long festival alone?

but for some reason as soon as you got there

you felt comfortable

you stood in the crazy long line

and watched the people around you

laugh and talk with their friends

you kind of wished you had someone to talk to as well

well this is where ur boi Taeyong comes in

its like he read your mind

because as you stood there thinking about how lonely you must look,

he was wondering how he should approach you

he was in line directly behind you and tbh he thought you were pretty cute

but you were by yourself and for some reason that made him sad

but happy at the same time bc he was alone too

so after thinking about it for wayyyy too long

he just taps your shoulder on impulse

“hey i’m taeyong. are you here alone? i’m here alone too.”

and that’s where it started for you guys

you spent that whole day together and even ended up swapping phone numbers

you thought Taeyong was so sweet and nice

and he was

but from the beginning

he definitely had a softer side for you and you only

so you guys began hanging out when ever you both were free

and it got to the point where you guys would adjust your schedules just so you could find time to be together

and of course, you both started developing feelings for each other

Taeyong was the first to confess his feelings

it was kind of unexpected 

you guys had planned a day at the board walk

there were boats you could rent so you and Taeyong decided to try them out

so here you guys were

in the middle of this lake

just chillin in a boat

when out of nowhere, Taeyong just says it

“y/n, i like you.”

you were shocked, to say the least bc

you never thought someone like Taeyong would actually like you back

but after he further explained his feelings, you were beyond ecstatic

Taeyong asked you to be his 

and bam

you guys were together

throughout your relationship with Taeyong, you’ve noticed the little things that irritate him, make him smile, make him upset

all his little quirks 

and you have come to be quite good at reading his emotions

even when he looks like he’s happy, he could be angry

when he looks upset, he could actually be relieved of something

basically, you have just come to know him like the back of your hand

sooo now that we’ve explained all of that, let’s get to present time

you and Taeyong have been together for a little over a year now at this point

before you guys started even dating, he met your friends

so it was normal for both you and Taeyong to show up to your friend’s parties

you two are currently on your way to one of your best friends bday parties

your best friend Johnny literally rented out a whole ass bdubs just to throw his birthday party

this kid is extra

but you and Taeyong decide to walk from your place, since it’s not that far from the restaurant

it’s a little chilly outside, even with Taeyong’s coat around your shoulders

“are you still cold?” Taeyong asks you 

you nod

Taeyong puts his arm around you, trying to warm you up more

you’re pretty happy in your relationship right now

Taeyong is even more of a gentleman than before

he’s perfect in your eyes

and you’re perfect in his

all you’ve been is good to him 

and best believe that he shows you his appreciation

whenever Taeyong is going through a rough time, whether it’s with his family or he’s just having a bad day

you are always there for him

and he honestly feels like he is the luckiest man on the planet because he has you

Taeyong glances down at you as you guys reach the restaurant

he thinks you look great tonight

as he pulls open the door for you, he smiles to himself

he walks in behind you and brings you closer to him

“let’s go find Johnny.” you tell him as you grab his hand

Johnny’s party was packed 

it’s no surprise tho, because he’s a social butterfly who just love, love, loves meeting new peeps

you and Tae squeeze through people, trying to look for Johnny 

even though it’s making you lowkey claustrophobic you see so many friends you haven’t seen in a while 

so it’s nice

after some more maneuvering you guys spot Johnny 

but before you can get to him you and Taeyong hear your name 

”Y/N!” 

you turn to see the one and only Wong Yukhei

your first love 

”Yukhei!” you yell back as you spin to hug him 

Taeyong follows close behind you, eyeing Yukhei 

Tae knows exactly who Yukhei is 

before you and Tae began dating, he had seen the pictures of you two on your instagram

he didn’t like him for the simple fact that he once had you 

 “How are you? It’s been so long! You look amazing!” Yukhei compliments 

as you two chat, it feels as if Taeyong isn’t there

he watches you and Yukhei talk 

he can just feel the anger rise within him 

Taeyong pushes himself next to you, making his presence obvious to Yukhei (as if it wasn’t before but ok yongie)

”oh, Yukhei! this is Taeyong.” you introduce him 

”y/n’s boyfriend.” Taeyong adds, glaring at Yukhei 

”oh, hello. i’m Yukhei.” he says awkwardly 

Yukhei holds his hand out for Taeyong to shake

but what does Tae do? 

he stares at his hand, not even flinching 

you nudge him, beginning to feel embarrassed by his behavior 

Yukhei awkwardly retracts his hand 

“well, i guess i’ll see you around, y/n.”

you nod before waving bye to him 

as you watch Yukhei walk away, you feel Yong grab your arm 

you shake him off bc ur seriously annoyed and embarrassed that he acted like that to Yukhei, who has always been nothing but nice 

before you can walk away Taeyong grabs you again

“where are you going y/n?” Taeyong is hot on your heels as you continue trying to walk away from him towards Johnny

Johnny sees you two and smiles

but of course as soon as he sees the expression on your face, his smile fades

“what’s wrong guys?”

instead of you telling him the real reasons you look annoyed,

ur bf decides to tell him what he saw

“that Yukhei kid, her ex? yeah he was getting too close to her.”

yeah, he really said that

“are you serious?” you say to Taeyong

Taeyong doesn’t see why you’re so mad

but the fact that you’re angry is making him angry

he was only trying to protect your relationship

he just couldn’t lose you to someone else--especially your ex and first love

because you know what they say

you never really forget your first love

but Taeyong wants to make you forget him

he wishes you two could have met earlier so he could have been your first love

it’s not fair

but since he has you now, he’ll love you more and better than Yukhei ever could have

you roll your eyes and begin to move towards Johnny 

“he’s acting rude and jealous for no reason. we’ve almost been together for two years!” you spill to him

as you stand by your best friend, Taeyong honestly feels irritated bc

you should be thankful that he cares that much

right?

“we’ve been together for a while, but you were basically flirting with your ex!”

Taeyong yells, causing a bunch of people to look over

“i was not flirting! if you think asking how someone’s been is flirting, then you need some serious help.” you’re done with him

Taeyong has never acted like this for as long as you’ve known him

why is he starting to now?

out of everyone who heard your voices, Yukhei happened to be one

“is there a problem?” he asks, stepping in front of you and johnny

(Johnny is honestly shook)

Taeyong is #$***//FUMING\\***$#

“our conversations are none of your business” he steps towards Yukhei

“you’re shouting for everyone else to hear” Yukhei fires back

you squeeze between the two--who have not broken eye contact

“guys, stop” you say, glancing at the both of them 

“no, this guy is gonna get what’s coming to him” Taeyong tries stepping closer to Yukhei

“Tae! stop!” you yell as you try to push him away from Yukhei, who’s being held back by Johnny

“why are you defending him, y/n? i’m your boyfriend, not him!” 

by now, everyone has stopped what they were doing, and they’re paying attention to the current situation

Jaehyun has joined you in trying to keep Taeyong back

but of course you can’t really hold two grown men lmao back

Jaehyun cannot hold Taeyong back 

he’s moving forward

he is so ready to fight

and so is Yukhei

you try to get in the middle

but unfortunately

when some people get to their breaking points, they black out and don’t realize what they’re doing

Taeyong seems to be one of those people

without thinking, he pushes you away

but it wasn’t just a soft push

Taeyong seemed to use all his strength which resulted in you falling to the floor, quite hard

but as soon as he’s done it

everyone becomes quiet

he realizes his mistake almost immediately after

“y-y/n, i’m--i didn’t”

you’re shocked

never in a million years did you think Taeyong would do something of the sort

“dude i think you should leave” Johnny tells Taeyong as both him and Jaehyun help you up

“wait y/n--”

“Tae, leave.” Jaehyun demands as they take you away from the situation

you can feel the tears beginning to form in your eyes

“y/n, baby i’m--”

this time you stop yong

“we’re done” you say as you turn around to leave with Jaehyun

tears are streaming down your face and you’re embarrassed that any of that just happened

Jaehyun quickly gets you to his car while Johnny trails behind

you turn to Johnny as hug him like your life depended on it

“i’m so sorry for ruining your birthday” you sob

Johnny pats your back “you didn’t ruin my birthday. plus, you know i love when the three of us spend time together.” he tries making you feel better

but you feel absolutely horrible

Jaehyun speeds up the process of you getting into the car when you three see Taeyong come out of the venue

“i’ll take care of this. go on, i’ll be there soon.” Johnny closes your door before Jaehyun reverses the car

after what Taeyong did, you don’t know if you’ll ever be able to look at him the same again

[spacerockwriting]

I’m feeling much better now, so I’m going to talk about the time I saw Cursed Child. It started over a year ago. When the raffles were being released I entered every single one and when I failed at winning, I, like everyone else went to enter the queue on the main day.

The tickets went on sale while I was at work, and I put everything on hold, stressing myself out for the tickets. I get really anxious when I buy tickets for concerts because most of the time I’m fighting for really good concert seats, and with this, it was no exception. However, as I entered the buying portion, I didn’t know what to do. My first plan was to try and see the show in April, as my best friend and I were already planning a trip to see George Salazar and Joe Iconis’ Two Player Game while we were there. I was very impatient with my desire to see Cursed Child. In fact, I was so impatient to see Cursed Child I was willing to throw sums of money at a person who is no longer in my life, just so they could report to me the story. Desperate, amirite?

After much conversing with my best friend, the decision became clear that we couldn’t go see the show in April. We had a lot going on already for that trip, so the decision became that we would just have to go again! When I got in line to buy tickets, september became the time period I was most easily able to get. At first, the decision was like many, to do both parts in one day. However, my best friend is not a Harry Potter fan like I am. They’re familiar with it, they know the franchise, but the thought of having to spend six hours in a theater is not something they’d personally be interested in. Fair enough, so I got the two day tickets, which I’m glad I did!

So in a hurry, I buy two tickets to the September showing of CC. The queue went so quick, and the ticket buying process is a blur. I had no more than ten minutes to make a decision and I called him shortly after buying them and was like “guess we have to go back to New York in September” which he was obviously fine with.

When I bought the tickets it was too quick to really know where I was sitting and what I had bought. When we got there in April, we went past the building and saw a few of our favourite Marquees for shows, but at the time I wasn’t able to go in the HP shop. We saw George Salazar and met him and Joe Iconis at their concert, went to Irving Plaza for a last minute 5SOS show for their upcoming album, and had a blast.

Weeks before our September trip, my best friend asks if his little brother can come to the trip. I say sure, as long as he can finance his own way. A few days later I am asked if it is okay if he goes to the HP show instead. His little brother is a really big HP fan, so I get it. I have no problem with this. We make plans for the trip and I arrive in NYC late on Wednesday before the show.

The Thursday of the show was exciting! I had started to plan out a head of time all the things I wanted at the shop.We decide that my best friend should go see a show while we’re at our show, so he buys last minute tickets for Book of Mormon, and then later that afternoon we eat lunch at Ellens Stardust Diner. The food is really good, and if you’re into Broadway and musicals, I’d suggest it.

After, we go pick up Will Call tickets and he heads back to the hotel while we get to the venue. I am overly excited. I’m in my Hufflepuff backpack and Hufflepuff shirt (my Cedric one I got at Universal) and we wait and wait. We got there like an hour early, and I highly recommend that. We were close in line, but like fifteen minutes later the line was wrapped around in like a U shape. Going in, one of the people at the door told me that “Lounge is downstairs and to the right.” My friend’s brother looks at me and is like “Comet, what did you do?”

I had just pressed buttons on the ticket site until I received tickets. I didn’t know what I did, or pressed. I just blindly bought tickets. So we went to get merch and big reminder IF YOU ARE IN LOUNGE DO NOT BUY THE SOUVENIR PROGRAM which I didn’t know so I had to return my copy of the program, lol. While in the lounge they have a name list by the entrance and you give them your last name and then we got one free beverage (alcoholic or non) and snacks, and at intermission we had desserts and one free beverage (alcoholic or non). It was a blast. Everyone we sat near was excited and hyped up and people beside us were sharing alcohol with us, and tasting and it was like a party. Everyone was excited.

At the end, the waiters in the lounge told us to come back tomorrow and have a wonderful day. The service was excellent, and they were so nice and respectful about everything. They were happy to take pictures, whatever.

At the end of Part 1, the show just stops. There is no curtain call, there is no cast coming out. Just a screen with To Be Continued... Note: the cast does not meet after part 1. If you want part 2 merch, you can only buy it behind the counter after part 1, or during part 2. You cannot buy it in the regular shop. (it is available online, however.)

On part 2 day, I wore my Malfoy quidditch shirt from Universal and kept my Hufflepuff backpack. A LOT of staff were confused why a hufflepuff was wearing Slytherin and I’m a dork about Scorpius so, theres that. Because we were in The Lounge, as we came to call it, my best friend’s little brother and I got in the “special entrance” on the side of the shop. We supposedly counted as VIP and could enter early.  As soon as we got in line, my best friend bid us farewell and went to see his night of Book of Mormon, and then we entered the venue and Voldemort Day started. All the staff hammed up the event and it just became even more of a party. In between snacking I got more stuff because I’m a nerd and tbh Scorpus’ wand is just as cute as Albus’ and I decided I needed a Voldy shirt too. (I also got two more plush fuzzy owls. One for my bestie, and one for his little brother.) During Intermission we got our free souvenir programs, the plastic cups, and I actually had more alcohol which is rare since I don’t really drink hardly ever because of my extreme reflux.

As soon as curtain call ended I told my friend’s brother we needed to high tail it to stage door because we were going to meet the cast. He had no objections, so we got in line and that queue was amazing. It was just a straight line and not a cluster and it was so calm. Some mum’s near us would pull out their programs and yell down the line who was coming which is very helpful because so many characters are in the show. When we were there, almost all the cast came out except for Jamie, the woman playing Hermione, I don’t think Rose came out, and sadly, Sam was not out. I did get to meet Antho, which I was really excited about.  Lol, I went to show him my shirt and he was like do you want me to sign it?? and I misheard and was like “Oh, no! I was showing you!” and oops. But no hard feelings. The gentleman playing Dumbledore was VERY talkative and had conversations with pretty much every person in line. My best friend’s brother is actually a HUGE Marauder’s fan, so he was upset after we realized Myrtle was ALSO Lily and declined the pictures, lol.

When the cast was done, my best friend showed up and we all went back to the hotel and saw the goodies he got from BOM (my favourite musical btw)

We found out a few days later that Jo was at the Sunday performance of the Cursed Child, and Monday the cast of Fantastic Beasts were on GMA which we were SO upset we missed. I would’ve high keyed out in the middle of Times Square at 3AM for a glimpse of Ezra Miller, lol.

Some tips if you’re seeing Cursed Child:

Arrive Early! This gives you PLENTY of time to look around the theater and buy merch & food. Trust me, the theater is WORTH exploring.

There is NO HP food there. I saw A LOT of people ask where the gummy slugs/chocolate frogs/butterbeer was. They can’t sell those there, as Universal owns the rights to those items. That being said, Cursed Child, Fantastic Beasts, and HP are 3 separate franchises, so you won’t find them intermixing.

You CAN bring food into the theater!! Drinks too!

If you have Lounge Access, you have your own bathroom. Trust me, that will save you a TON of time.

Part 2 Merch is only available during Part 2 or after Part 1.It is kept behind the counter so you can’t get it during normal shop hours.

There is no curtain call after part 1. House lights come up and thats the end. No cast come out after part 1 either.

Seeing it in 2 days isn’t as bad as one would think. I think I liked it better than I would have seeing it all in one day.

The playbills have recaps of important HP events crucial to the plot. This is helpful for anyone who hasn’t read the books in a long time, or isn’t super familiar with the story. (i.e not me or my best friend’s brother).

I think this is long enough, but if anyone has any questions about seeing the show in NYC I’ll be happy to help!

[katzenflocken]

LA Times

I went to a Halloween party in October and I wrote down my experience in my phone.

A month or so ago I had made the decision that I wanted to attend a Halloween event and ultimately I decided on scream in Edmonton. I had bought the pre-sale ticket without actually knowing who was playing since there was no lineup details but this didn't concern me because I just wanted to go have fun and listen to some jams with cool people. I had calculated the cost of bus and hotel and came up to roughly 700 for a comfortable trip with all the best food/mixed drinks at the show. I had already had my own party favors so this was one of the reasons why I wanted to keep it local in Alberta. But then the lineup got released and I only seen one artist that was potentially going to be "okay" after listening to their SoundCloud. I was feeling very on the fence and on top of that, the party only went until 2am which was making it real hard to justify a long boring ass bus ride for a short night of mostly lame edm music. (No offense to the edm enthusiasts out there)

After some Olympic tier mental gymnastics of being so sure I wanted to go to Scream, I got curious and went to the handy dandy Resident Advisor and looked at shows in Alberta then Vancouver, even Toronto. I didn't see any events I was interested in and I left it at that. Then I got the brilliant and brave idea to possibly venture outside our borders, and a few clicks later I stumbled upon louisahhh's upcoming events and noticed she was playing a show along with boys noize and tbh, it was a no brainer. I had to make this happen. After a few calculations, it was literally going to cost the same as going to Edmonton (600 cdn) but with more spending money required in American. So naturally it was 💯 percent the logical choice. The event was called Minimal Effort which was an all techno show with 4 stages. Like holy shit! This event was most definitely calling my name.

I had told family and a few friends and some them ask me why? I've already vacationed once or twice this year so why a third time? I really don't know why, there is no reason. I just like doing these things. It is true that given the current situation, I better to avoid these such things. but the idea of letting someone's words prevent me from doing something so fun and exciting yet so doable drives me mad. In fact this very idea is what makes it so evident that I am in control of my life. I create the reality I live in and why should I let others shape it for me with manipulating opinions. I would argue I am not living to die, I am dying to live. Personally I don't think it's very odd or strange to do exactly what you put your mind to, so it is in such a context that I wanted to make this trip. I hope people see what I do and feel encouraged or empowered. If I can do it you can too. But everyone isnt me and is open to their own opinion.

So my passport is lightly damaged, a few months after I got it I washed it lol whoops. I've been using it since without incident and it expires pretty quick in early 2019 so I felt confident I will make it on the plane and I did! I flew air Canada btw and their service was very meh. There was also some meean turbulence, other than that it was boring. Planes suck ass and I can't sleep on them. I had bought a roaming plan so I can text and use Google maps like a real Traveller. This was the best decision of the whole trip actually, so get ur phones working guys!

Upon landing I was very nervous because I literally didn't want to pay a lot of money to get downtown where my hostel was. But I asked this Tony hawk looking guy he gave me the rundown and to take the skyaway bus which was like 9 dollars. Hella life saver! I got downtown and got Subway spicy chicken wrap at Union station. Now I taxi'd to my hostel... It was near or in the ghetto. When the man dropped me off it was dark and these yuuuge dogs were jumping at me from the other side of the fence, confirming my suspicion that this is in fact the ghetto. I find the property next door and these dudes are smoking outside, I got their attention and they said to go upstairs and talk to "Champaign". In my head I instantly thought a black drug dealer... But then I was greeted by a slim easy going japanese dude with a samurai ponytail who spoke poor English but still had a friendly vibe. Turns out he is the cook/caretaker. I came on the night they had a dinner party that they hold once a month. Pay 10 dollars and you can eat the food that he was cooking. Champaign cooked for a army and I felt like an asshole because I literally came with a belly full of Subway. I had a few snacks and met the other Traveller's/Tennant's that were residing here. In that exact moment I felt like this is exactly where I needed to be. I was not alone and I was amongst other human beings like myself and we were all brought together by an unknown force all so Champaign can go to bed we knowing no one went to bed hungry. I actually passed out after midnight. Kinda lame but tbh I was wiped out from that hectic almost frantic trip to this hostel. The toppest compliment I give to any hotel/hostel is that this place had the best mattress, apparently they were italian (I asked lol).

Saturday (party day). My goal in the afternoon was to adventure and have a decent meal but it was getting off to a slow start due to me not figuring out where I wanted to go. I was recommended business district and looked up reviews but it was all meh. I want that yummy and probably unhealthy local food locations. The guy also said to take an Uber. Which I was like uhhhhhh iduno man... Maybe. Then as I was just getting ready to leave, this korean guy named Sam asked where I was going and he said "you should check out Korea Town, it's dope!!" And I looked up places and he said "no go here!" And I was like okay. Then he said he'll come with me and show me around after he finishes the laundry. Like a good lad I waited and in between he looked at me and whispered "hey do you do... Stuff" and there are a lot of implications there lol so I had to ask like what? And he pulled a little baggie and my reply was "yeah I like stuff" then did it and the kid lit up like a Christmas tree. He was mad hype folding the towels and then him and Champaign blazed downstairs.

One of the most fascinating yet mundane happenings was that I installed Uber on my phone. While those guys were blasting off I went ahead and gave the Uber a good historic first whirl. Little did I know my life was about to change in that exact moment. In 2 minutes after selecting where I wanted to go the driver was there. Holy shit! The cool part was that I only paid 8 dollars to go to the opposite side of the downtown. I wish I can expand on what I did, but tbh all we did was just walk and talk. It was great because it made me feel more immersed in to the city. Kind of like you had to be there type of experience. Then it was food time, he pointed out a Korean joint and I got a meal and he didn't order anything and then like 10 sides came and then 6 more little plates for the main dish. I told Sam he can have some because this is absurd. As we were eating, I slowly gazed around the place and everyone was just a little bit chubby. Sam told me Koreans don't waste their shit and eat as much as possible... Plus it's America lol. After eating like an animal and totally ruining my white shirt we went to get smokes and the line at 711 was almost way too long. Sam pointed out that everyone was powerballin' it... Then upon paying for the smokes and soda I said "one Powerball please". I had caved in and joined the race. We took an Uber back and the driver was a Mexican mom. She was cute in a grandma kind of way and we talked about there should be a "good news" radio because it's so scary listening to the radio. We laughed and laughed some more while Sam had fell into a Korean BBQ coma.

We get back to the hostel, Sam goes back to work and I have about an hour to get ready/nap before the party. Sam asked if I needed party favors and I took him up on his offer, because I hate asking at parties because it's so sketchy. At this point of the trip I realized everything is going 110% right. Sometimes I feel like I am just lucky because I always find myself in surprising situations and that now it's almost normal to me. My body and mind was totes ready to party, then I almost forget... I have stickers!!! I always have some in my bag and I grabbed at least 50 of them. People always love that shit, plus it makes everything more fun by adding another layer to the party... Lol get it? Layer?!? Aaanyways the one girl showed me how to work the door lock, basically it's an app that registers my phone to the deadbolt... What a game changer! Technology huh?! What a cool place! Then the Uber came and took like 4 dollars to get there, I think I can get used to this LA lifestyle if I ever had the chance. The dude dropped me off and I was proper nervous, made sure to hide my shit good and have my ID, ticket and game face ready because there was like 8 security in front... Also I am a pretty nervous person in general, I may seem cool and collected on the outside but on the inside I am a scared little shaking Chihuahua barking internally.

So I finally made it! All my hard work payed off! The weird thing was the guy didn't even look at my ticket, just my ID. Any Yahoo off the street could have walked in. Butt fuck it, I am here and that's all that matters. Imediately I get a beer... 8 dollars. The shit I put up with tbh, the price I pay for fun is worth it but my goodness is it painful. I wander around the theatre and it is nicely large and open. Not hot!! Can you believe that? The other stages weren't bad, too much to take it all in tbh. I settled at the main stage which was the first one you sent me when you walk in. The first artist playing was a chick, she played some good jam actually so I quite enjoyed her set. The only thing that led me to believe she doesn't actually make music and only is a DJ, was that every track she played I knew. Which is expected from shows like this but she didn't play anything "original", it's not a bad thing but if I was to critique her I'd be disappointed because I am the type of person to be wowed and I like to seek new material. I went for a smoke and met this couple dressed and Vegeta and Bulma, hella rad. They were cool, totally forget their names tho. Met this Mexican dude too who was a little short had crazy contact lenses and had a friendly chat. he was rolling which was cool because I wish I was, I even asked him but he was fresh out. The party started picking up too and louisahhh's set was about to play and I am 3 beers deep so I gotta step up my game. And guess what!? It's Modelo time homie!! Met a dude in a headdress and took a pic with him to piss off other people who are against that bullshit, as long as they are respectful about it I think it's awesome... so @ those who are trying to be offended on purpose, fuck you. Went to the bathroom and dropped my Modelo and the worker watched me do it and didn't say anything and swept it up. I went back to get another normal beer because the Modelo was 9 dollars. They mind as well get the lube ready because they are already fucking me dry. I had run out of party favors at this point because I only had a little but that's not why I am here so I accept that fact and I am just glad to be here. The dancefloor was sticky but as more spills happened it was less annoying and more people came, it made it more bearable lol if that makes sense. The sound was definitely worse at the front of the stage so I found that sweet spot 15 feet back in the zone where the speakers were pointed. 7/10 audio, it's no pk system but hey I don't mind too much! Louisahhh was stepping in and she had a super neat outfit going kind of future/madmax like. Her hair was excellent if I might add. I've always wanted to catch her set but never had the chance until now. I could say it was what I expected, which was basically the same set I've heard her play on other sets I heard from her. It's not a negative but mental gymnastics aside she could have spiced it up some more by playing new shit, like I said. I am just glad to be there.

After louisahhh played her set Boys Noize had stepped in and he opened up with that one song he always does lately lol I forget the name but let me tell you, my body was ready! The "wares" I had bought off Sam at the hostel were already used up but I didn't need any, my body was tingling from the energy in the room. I met the maddest group of lads in the crowd and I gave them a handful of stickers to help me distribute. They loved it! I was also doing "rogue" work by slapping stickers on people without them knowing. The funniest ones were the Dealer and Wasted stickers. The lazers and lights in this place were magnificent. Production was nearly top notch 7.8/10. it's a theatre but they used it as well as they could. I want to describe this experience more but going to a party is the purest chaos you can experience. It almost can't be explained, only witnessed. I honestly love being social at these events. In real life I can be very shy or unwilling to exchange or talk with others. It pains me really, I just love people and I want to make genuine friends but I feel so reluctant to meet new faces because I don't really click that well with others. I know that I am unique and sometimes strange, I am sometimes don't give a fuck but I tend to be antisocial because of paranoia that other people won't like me when they get to know the real me. When I attend rave parties, I tend to feel more free and open because I know the people in attendance are also there for the same reason I am. Obviously this may or may not be a healthy life style but it is very fulfilling in a very emotional way. I may not have that many real life friends but when on the dancefloor everyone is my friends lol that sounds like the gayest shit ever but it's true. Anyways party is still bumping and it's 6 am and I am wiped out, boys Noize played some of the best tracks I heard at awakenings I noticed. Kind of the same shit really. But it was LA so more mainstream crowd. I leave the club and it was so fucking foggy outside, like a horror movie. 2spooky4me. I hit up Uber like 4 blocks away because it was just too crazy in the front of the theatre. I got this younger driver about my age and we talked about McDonald's lol she was fun then I get back to the hostel hungry as fuck. Eated bread and smonked some herb and hit the hay.

Next morning I hung out in the common area. Watched friends and watched Champagne die from smoking weed lol he was my favorite. Cool hostel tbh very home like. I had few hours to myself before my flight so I decided I wanted to go to little Tokyo. I had to say goodbye to the hostel, the guys downstairs gave me a donut lol and I got into the Uber. The guy talked about the dodgers game like I actually give a heck about sports. He dropped me off at the entrance of Little Tokyo. This was actually the most wholesome part of my trip. The first sight of the Japanese style outside mall was kind of exhilarating because LA is mostly just the same everywhere. The buildings and decorations were very refreshing and it was a feast for the eyes. Such beauty. As I continue to explore the small but busy space I feel this feeling of wonder and excitement, it made me feel less hungover if I am being honest. The world I was seeing in that moment was powerfully moving and rich with happiness. I wanted to stay forever. In the centre there was an open space where an older Asian man in a scooter and an array of instrument s in front of him. He had a little sampler Casio and hi hats and maracas. It was like a scene out of the movies where you see those cute moments because he was playing to this couple from China that were standing in front of him and you can hear them talking to the Man in between singing lol, they gave him money to play that song from toy story "skies of blue" or whatever it's called and then at the end he pulled out the maracas and hit them on the cymbals with style. I filmed a little bit of it actually. I ended up eating sushi and chicken katsu outside on the deck and just enjoyed the experience. Alone. Fucking sad actually that I couldn't share my emotion with someone else but I really enjoyed the place. I shop in the anime store and gift shop, got a few things for friends and family then had to rush to the airport. I got to Union station and shuttle to the airport right on time. Slightly early since the flight changed to a later time. I walked around and had some beer and wings then got on the plane. Nice cozy airport experience. My dad picked me up and he was working in siksika that week so I slept in his trailer. It was cold as shit and I was late for work the next day like nothing ever happened lol. Just a quick weekend trip, no big deal. Travelling is so so so much fun, I want others to read or see my adventures and feel somewhat inspired to take more risks and go on their own adventures. Its good to open your eyes and free yourself of your surroundings, especially on the reserve. There's a world out there and there's more to life than the bullshit drama that happens here. I look at the world in wonder and amazement, I know it's a sick and sometimes dangerous place but I make it my world by appreciating it for what it is. Everything is kind of all right. Sometimes I wish I didn't exist but I don't want to die either, doing these things remind me that life can be great so I hope I don't come off braggy or I am acting "too good". I make minimum wage yet I still do all this cool stuff. It's not hard to do, just literally set your mind go and do it . I chase my dreams while others think "what if" lol but yeah do more fun shit guys!!!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #164

“on my forehead, a birthmark; remove it with a kiss of the knife, even if it causes me to die.”

Do you look like your mom? I'm told I do, but never seen it? Then again I'm bad at noticing subtle facial differences. When was the last time you overslept? I never have a time I need to get up now, so, couldn't tell you. What would you do if you could do anything without failing? Hm. One thing? That's tough. I guess... ride a rollercoaster without getting sick or, y'know, dying? I really, really wanna experience the adrenaline, but. Name something that happened to you that was completely unexpected? Bitch I don't even think my mother believed I would get over Jason. I feel like anyone who knew me well would've thought I'd never actually heal. Do you judge people that have multiple piercings? As if, when I want a lot. Have you read the Bible? Little of it. Do you think it’s cruel to keep an animal in a cage while you’re away? Depends on the size of the cage, if they're destructive when alone, and how long you're gone. Are there any lyrics to describe your current crush/relationship? "If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn" by SwS screams. Do you ever receive comments on your weight? Not unless it's a doctor and I ask or if I'm asking Mom if I look like I lost any. Is there anything that you do just to make other people happy? Sometimes. When you need a temporary escape, what do you do? Go to sleep. What was the last lie that you believed in? I dunno. How long did your last feelings of heartbreak last? Like a year and a half. Do you ever have difficulty opening pill-bottle caps? Rarely. Are you uncomfortable with being photographed? No. How vivid are your memories? They can be extremely vivid while others are totally blurry. What is the worst question that someone could ask you? If I was offered a certain cold medicine. Or if someone asked about my left wrist. One would probably make me cry, the other would bury me in embarrassment. Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? The driver. I was fucking terrified. That gets your ass in jail here. Who is the best hugger you know? I dunno. Sara and Girt both give great hugs. Juan did. I just like hugs okay. What is the next concert you will attend? Mom and I are desperately gonna try for Metallica in January. She literally cried and laughed hysterically when she found out they were coming; it was the sweetest damn thing I'd ever seen. Always told her we're going before she dies, and I plan on ensuring that. It's her dream. The tickets are just unsurprisingly more expensive than the average concert with who they are. What is the longest you have ever slept? Around 12 hours. Have you ever had to be put to sleep for an operation? Yes, tubes in ears and cyst removal. Have you ever had to clean up someone else’s vomit? No, and there is no fucking way I ever could. Human or animal. I would puke. Do you have any friends that are more than 2 years younger than you? One off the top of my head. Have you ever kissed some one with braces? No. Have you ever been able to do a split? Nope, not even when I was in dance. Are you intimidated by the last person you know talked badly about you? Embarrassingly, to some degree. Now in my defense, I'm afraid of most people, but she is a witch that fires straight for your insecurities, and I think it's pretty clear that I'm extremely sensitive. Have you ever cried in school? In the bathroom, I know I have, but I think I probably have teared up in class. What is the most times you have thrown up in one day? I dunno, maybe 4+ when I've had a virus? Last person to say your name? Mom, probs. Are any of your siblings married? Two are, no clue about Tiffany. Do you think the last person you kissed has ever lied to you? I'm aware she has, but I'm sure I probably did too when we were both asshole kids lmao. Who was your closest friend 4 years ago? Are you still close to that person? Colleen, and no. Have you ever liked someone else when you already had a boyfriend/girlfriend? What happened? It was one of the reasons I broke up with him. Is there a certain song that never seems to get old, no matter how many times you hear it? I will always be in the mood for Manson's "Third Day of a Seven Day Binge." Do you like to have croutons in your salad? Ugh no. Which do you find more irritating - sunburn or bug bites? Sunburn. What shape/type of fry do you like best [waffle fry, curly fry, steak fry, sweet potato fry, tater tot, etc.]? Hmm maybe curly. What’s your favorite type of bird? Barn owls. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 114. What pet names do you use with your significant other? OH GOD. "Honeybee," "pretty woman," "love(ly)," "sweetie," "hun(ny)," "babe," "baby(girl)," and yeesh probably more. Do you carry any means of protection on you while out in public? No, but I do plan on getting pepper spray once I'm more independent/on my own. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? Nooooo I ain't dyin' today. What is something that most people wouldn’t know about you from simply looking at you? I was once in great shape oops. What’s your longest road trip? I can't recall if Florida or NY was longer... Do you have any videos on your phone? If so, of what? Yes, the video that Sara sent me of Jem reaching for her. Actually the most precious thing I've seen. Do you think that your bedroom is a reflection of your personality? Or would people look at your room and misjudge you? Sure. Who would you really like to become better friends with? Yeesh, a lot of people... Mostly old friends. Do you personally know anybody who has more than five tattoos? Yeah. How big is your bed? Queen. Have you ever been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? No. Do you think it’s important for children to have a father figure in their life as they grow up? Gave some thought to this, and no. It's preferable to have two parents, but who says gender really matters? Just give the child two caring, unwaveringly supportive adults that can both teach them different things. Tbh I think having gay parents would allow you to grow up more open-minded anyway. Do you include your middle initial in your signature? Only if I'm supposed to. Have you ever imagined how it would feel kissing a certain someone? Yeah. Have you ever taken a picture with Santa when you were little? Yes. If you could have one more pet, what? One more python morph. Something you want to buy real bad? A drawing tablet. Something you would NEVER buy? Traditional mouse traps came to mind first. Inhumane as all hell. Now those that get them caught in a box, sure, because it in no way harms them. Just take them outside, asshole. What do you think will happen when you die? Hopefully, go to a positive afterlife of peace. It'd be amazing if you saw Heaven as you've always pictured it, but who knows how that works. I just about actually pray that you see loved ones again. Could you wait until marriage for sex? I could, yeah, but I'm pretty sure I dropped the abstinence thing. How would you describe your sense of humor? Dry and incredibly sarcastic. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes. Do you currently have any bruises on your body? No. Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No. Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? A good number, yeah. A solar one? No. :c Do you know anyone who writes huge essays when they message you? Yeah, I don't mind! Show interest in talking!! Do you think your first love still loves you? Definitely not. I don't think he has a spot for me anywhere in his heart, really. Are you someone who has to analyze everything? Hi, I'm Brittany. What’s the last thing that scared the hell out of you? Mom popping up at my door talking when I had NO clue she was home. Do you have any awkward music downloaded on your iPod? I have "Daddy" by PSY can I jump off a bridge now. Have you ever been to church? What was it like? Yes, and it's something I've never enjoyed since being a little kid. Even in my more religious phases, I didn't enjoy it. It's boring and revolves way too much around "God is in control of everything," which sorry, don't believe so. Has a member of the opposite sex ever seen you naked? Yes. Do you use an umbrella when it rains? No. What articles of clothing have you been wanting to buy/did you buy recently? BITCH let me be small enough to wear gothic-looking corsets like I am TURNED ON. Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? No. If you could either be fire resistant or breathe underwater, which would you rather be capable of? Hmmm fire resistant, I guess. Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? No. Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? Yup. If you have any piercings, who did them? Claire's and then two parlors here. Do you know someone who had completely changed for the worse when he/she started hanging out with another person? If so, who? HAHAHAHA JASON. He got closer to the ego-fueled Dillon, and then he began to change. Have you ever been pulled over, but just let off with a warning? No. Do you like mash-up songs? Occasionally. What do you consider to be a bad grade? For me, a low B. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? If I wanted kids, probably not. I don't think I'd be the appropriate guardian for one with severe disorders. Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. Has a pet ever stolen food from you as you were eating it? Probably. Are you more comfortable kissing a boy or a girl? No preference. Have you ever kissed someone and hated it? He kissed me, but it was legit awful. Who in your family is the hardest to please? Grandma. Would you ever pierce your “private” areas? *holds out holy cross @ parlor* What type of humor do you find funniest? CLEVER. And, surprisingly, self-deprecating if you cast it as confident. I just like when people are able to joke about themselves. NOW, this is a sense of humor to be careful with of course, but some can use it hilariously. What types of things fascinate you? WOWIE SO MUCH!! Caves, outer space, how spiders design webs, lightning bugs, abandoned buildings and shacks, animal behavior (especially w/ social species), witchcraft, the paranormal, and... wow, so much more. The universe is just incredible! What kind of place would you want to raise your children? Answering for if I actually wanted them: Out. In. Nature. It's a shame how reliant we are on technology - myself included -, so I'd want my children to know true fun and knowledge is found outdoors. Teach them an appreciation for the outdoors and the creatures we share this planet with. So I'd definitely want to live out in the woods more than I naturally do. Has your father met the boy you currently love? *girl, but yes. Haven't directly asked him, but I'm quite sure he likes her. Would you rather spend a whole day with your mom or your dad? Probably Dad. He's easier to get along with, very fun, and then I just don't get to see him nearly enough. What serial killer do you find most disturbing? Don't know much about any, but I know Charles Manson was all kinds of fucked up. Have you ever written or received a suicide note? Written. Do you have the same color hair as your siblings? Yes. Do you have the same color eyes as your siblings? Only Bobby. What is your favorite type of cat? Persian. What’s your opinion on tattoos in the workforce? How about piercings? JUDGE BY WORK ETHIC, NOT HOW THEY FUCKING LOOK. Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? Why or why not? If you have a problem with a mother feeding her hungry child naturally, I don't want to know you. At all. This is a "controversial" topic where it is only black and white: You're either an ignorant ass, or an intelligent human being that knows what the hell breasts are for. Who in your life makes you the most uncomfortable? My sister's husband, probably. He's against just about everything about me, and his judgment is pretty damn intense. I don't go to church, my hair "isn't feminine" like it "should be," and I'm in a gay relationship. I'm aware he doesn't like me even though he tries to put on a nice face. Is there anything that you do just to make other people happy? Ha, shave my legs. What band would you most like to meet? Lemme meet Ozzy before he passes away 'cuz I need to THANK HIS ASS, plus he cracks me up. Do you have a least favorite day of the year? Not particularly... Well, I realized this year now that I'm healed that Jason's and my anniversary date gives me anxiety. I look back at just how demolished I was and wonder what it would be like if I never got help. 99.99% sure I'd be dead by now. Do you want someone you can’t have? No, I have her. :''''') When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? Over a week back. I legitimately wanted to punch her. When was the last time you totally broke down? It's been awhile. Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not? No. Do you ever listen to country music? It is rare as fuck if I actively look for a country song. Would you have sex with the 5th person on your text inbox? WELL, she's a minor, so, but she's also not my type romantically. She's a lil sis to me. Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Yes. If you could seek revenge on someone would you? No. What are you listening to right now? "Mutter" by Rammstein, ahhhh it's gorgeous & I wanna make a character influenced by the concept. Are you afraid of death? Not really. Do you think you have to be skinny in order to be beautiful? Fuck off. Have you ever drooled in public? Maybe? I don't recall a situation. Have you ever been bitten by a dog? No. Would you ever shave your head? The one and only situation I could see myself doing this is if my child had to have this happen for cancer or something and they were self-conscious, so I'd do the same. Have you ever drawn a picture with sidewalk chalk? Yeah, I used to love playing with chalk. What is the worst possible way to die? Maybe burning alive. Or getting slowly eaten alive. Have you ever burnt yourself with a lighter? No, I don't mess with them. They scare me. Would you ever meet someone you met online? Already have, and there's more I'd love to meet. Have you ever kissed the TV? Not to my memory. Would you rather visit a sunflower field or a pumpkin patch? Sunflower field. Have you ever found a four leaf clover? Yes, the day of or a couple after Dad left. I found a patch of them, actually. When you’re being kissed, do you like it when they hold your face? Yeah. Explain why you stopped kissing the last person you kissed? Well she had a plane waiting for her lmao. If you were on life support, would you want to be taken off? YES. FUCKING PLEASE. DO NOT LET ME SUFFER LIKE THAT. Who was your first kiss? First person I romantically kissed on the cheek was Juan, Juan was the first to kiss me, first *actual* kiss was Jason. What’s your favorite form of dancing? Modern. Make it some sorta creepy and creative shit. What’s the most disturbing thing you’ve ever been through? Hmmm. I guess uh. Obsessive and invasive thoughts? Have you ever been to a race track? (horses) No. Are you good at braiding hair? Don't even know how to. Or are you into PETA and all that? They're too extreme. Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Yeah. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I already have one, but I don't even want it anymore. I have ideas I like more for them. It's my ohana one, but that's not really a suitable one for me? Family via blood, you're an ass? I'm not associating with you. "Family" by intense friendship, that ends if someone turns into an asshole too. Probably gonna end up getting it covered. Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Yeah. Is there one person you look at and automatically smile? Sara and Mark. No seriously, there will probably be at least a small one there. Do you wake up cranky? Rarely. I can be if someone wakes me up, though. I'm generally okay when I wake up naturally. Do you get offended if someone repeatedly checks their mobile phone when you’re out for lunch or dinner? Like non-stop, I'm not offended, I just think it's pretty rude. Who is your favorite character from Friends? Don't watch it. How would you deal with a significant other who cried all the time? Try my absolute best to help them. What is your favorite flavor of Monster? I hate that stuff. Tastes like poison. Have you ever ran from the police? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yup. Do you have any trophies? Yeah, in "treasure boxes" as we call them for sure. Would you cheat on someone for revenge? Or if they wouldn’t find out? No, I hate that shit. So petty. Rate your self confidence: 1 being insecure and 10 being cocky: Like... two or three. Does your family have a secret? Not that I know of. When/where are you most likely to sing? In the car. Are you in shape or more out of shape? HA. Do you have sympathy for those who hurt you? I guess it depends. Do you spend too much time at home? I'm just about a hermit because I have *nowhere* to go. I don't hang out with people, don't have a car. It sure is fun. Do you require visual assistance (i.e.; glasses or contacts)? I have glasses. My vision is atrocious without it, right eye especially. Ever held a newborn animal? Kittens, yes. Have any unpleasant public transit stories to tell? No. Are you afraid of failure? Yep. Have you been called a bad influence? Only by Colleen's mom, that I know of. Apparently me hanging out at the house and talking to and helping his mother whenever she needed it as well as always smiling at him was just awful for Keegan. What about Chinese food? Love it or hate it? Not a fan. All I ever like are fried rice and eggrolls. Do you get stage fright? When I was a dancer, I really didn't. Now if I was alone, probably would. Any current family issues? When is there not at least slight issues. Nothing big, though. Who is the last friend you spent time with outside of school? She's not my friend anymore, but Colleen. I haven't hung out with a current friend in many, many months. Do you think that people have the power to make their own lives better? YES!!! Literally never forget this. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? Extreme loneliness. What is the last movie you watched all the way through? Slender Man. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? No. Do you feel like nobody understands you? The only two that I believe certainly do are Sara especially, but also Mom. What’re your plans for today? I have therapy at four, got a shitload to talk about, and after that I have to take my files there to vocational rehab. Maybe drive around to look for photograph opportunities if Mom's up for it. That's it. Do you have a common first name? Very. I'm thankful it's a name I actually like, though. Do you know anyone with a lazy eye? Knew someone. Do you like spicy chips? Omfg YES. What’s the last movie you watched at a friend’s house? *former friend, Shrek. Her son loves it so we watched it almost every time I was over and bitch no complaints. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Two, then another if you count my shoulder. Do you own a tea pot? No. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Mom's. I remember it because mine's Feb. 5th, then all I need to know is August as hers is August 5th. I know Dad's is in April. Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? Well we were right outside an airport.

[candymayvary]

in the moment kiss with a pairing of your choosing

i’m in an axel mood again always tbh so here u go

Prompts here!

4. In The Moment Kiss - Maybe it’s in the middle of an argument or you just looked to damn beautiful not to kiss, but their lips were hot against yours and it felt too good to stop.

Adrenaline comes out of the left field, and sucker punches Harper in the cheek. Not unusual, considering she was also running on about three cups of coffee (black, doubly black, like her soul at that point), maybe at least one energy drink, that smelt kind of funny and was electric blue in her glass, and just,

Feelings. The worst kind of energy booster, because it made everything rose coloured and unreasonable, and sometimes a little sad. Or happy. Or mad. Harper had to admit she hadn’t always been good with feelings, as they always gate crashed when they weren’t invited to the party. 

Like right now. Like why she threw on a jacket that was crumpled and bundled her hair up in a scarf in an attempt to hide how she needed a shower. How her mannequin sat, unfinished and sad, stuck with pins and notes and measurements, because it was getting past seven. Late. She was so late. Harper imagined a little white rabbit with a clock running ahead, as she grabbed keys, purse, phone. As she legged it out the hallway, joining the throng of students.

Feelings sucked, because they were making her break all her little rules, ignored her homework, and run headfirst into unknown territory. Sure, she said she’d go (with everyone else) to his show (because everyone else was going, and not because he asked her personally), and Harper couldn’t turn down a friend, right? That would be rude. Harper tried to be anything but blatantly rude. 

Raquel sees her before she sees Raquel. Whatever, it worked, because they clamber into the back of so-and-so’s car, everyone talking a mile a minute. First time in a long time Axel had apparently secured tickets for friends, or so the conversation went. First time in a long time he’d let people backstage, too. Whatever that implication was, as Raquel slowed her words pointedly, maintained a threatening level of eye contact, and shook Harper a little. 

Okay, so people joked Harper had some sort of magic sway over Axel, but right now it was feeling like a two-way street, and people just weren’t seeing her side. She wasn’t social social, only really fond of the odd dramatic appearance at bigger things. She wasn’t an active purveyor of the music scene. Concerts were just if she remembered, and if she managed to convince others to come along. The most live band experience she had was those in beer gardens, when Harper was dragged out to some family event, and dinner was at the local restaurant. This was getting to be so far out of her depth, Harper could feel the water rising.

Or maybe it was just the blood in her cheeks, when someone opened a live stream. They weren’t late, per say, and definitely not early. But Axel was on stage, greeting fans, talking through screams. Someone near the front was getting a full HD version of him, and all Harper had was a grainy screen, barely catching the things he was saying, all of it drowned out by people screaming they loved him.

And here she was. Harper K., voted most likely to date a rockstar. 

It wasn’t for lack of trying, anyway. Sitting back, Harper continued to stare at her nails, at the window, at anything besides what everyone else was watching. How animated Axel was, answering questions, talking about releases, winking into cameras as he went. They’d talked about that, the persona he puts on. Some days, there wasn’t a difference between Axel and Axel. Other days, there really was.

Harper kind of didn’t want to start splitting them apart at that stage. Especially not when they arrive, ushered backstage before anyone caught wind of them doing so. Something about a private list, the agent practically blowing steam from his ears at such a thing, but they get the fancy bracelets and lanyards. Get a gift bag of merchandise that gets a lot of laughs and one suggestion from Harper herself about how much these would go for online.

“A good couple of hundred, definitely.”

There’s a few cheers of ‘Axel!’ when he throws his two cents in. Harper manages a ‘hey’, that thankfully sounded a lot stronger than she felt. No, she wasn’t going to focus on how he looked good, and not the putting it on for his waiting crowd, but for once he was. Just. Good. Nice. Clean?

Fuck, Harper thinks, and it might’ve shown on her face, from the way even Tyler rolls his eyes at her. Oh, whatever. It’s not her fault they had been teetering on the edge of will they, won’t they for at least a good month. Maybe more. Not like Harper was actually keeping track of these things, because that meant thinking and talking about feelings, and right now. 

Right now Axel was in front of her, smiling and chatting and doing that thing with his hands she couldn’t stop watching. Oh man. She was in so deep and it sucked. 

It sucked because she wanted to like. Kiss him. Or throw him down. One or the other, right now she couldn’t figure it out, hyper aware of her jacket that barely managed to look decent after hanging off her for a good half an hour, or how her hair was greasy, or that thank god she packed one of those stupid mini perfumes her aunt bought her every year. Not like she was going to linger on why she cared so much, either. 

God, he was wearing jeans that looked a size too small and it was doing things to her. She was mad. At him, at the fashion industry. Everything. Hormones definitely included.

Whatever the conversation was, she lost it. Completely and totally, too busy focusing on the outline of Axel’s ass in those jeans, or how he was doing that stupid little half smile that was all kinds of rude, and how she was so dumb. So dumb and blind and Harper wasn’t sure if this was the point where she was supposed to give up and accept fate. Yeah? Nah? Either option wasn’t looking too good.

Raquel loops her arm through Harper’s, signalling the end of the conversation. Something about moving them to the seats set aside, or whatever. Wherever. Axel’s agent looked like he was going to blow a casket, and everyone was having too much fun with it. 

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”

A hoot joins Raquel, and Harper begins to follow when Axel speaks up. “Can I speak to Harper for a second?”

Oh. No. At least three different alarms were going off in her head, as Raquel wiggles her eyebrows with a ‘take all the seconds you need,’ followed with his agent saying something about needing to get onstage. Now. Like ten minutes ago. 

“It’ll just take a minute.”

“You said a second!”

Axel smiles, all cheeky and smarmy, causing Harper’s stomach to flipflop. Heavily. Whatever butterflies were taking up residence in her gut needed to consider new housing, because she was having none of this weak-knees bullshit, no sir. 

Feeling a little like a doll being pushed and pulled, with how Raquel completely throws her into Axel and runs off with everyone else, Harper wants to complain. Wants to pout a little and suck up to Ellie, or just drown herself in fancy material and homework for the rest of the night. Something other than catching her breath as she stares up at Axel, noticing how pretty his eyes were in this light, and how he hadn’t stopped smiling since they arrived. 

“Hey,” he says, and it’s so infuriating on some level, that he wasn’t worrying the way she was practically going to combust. Did he not feel the tension right now? Was she reading all the wrong signs? After all, she’d only spent the last few weekends hauled up in different bedrooms, crying into tubs of ice cream over her problems, to whoever could put up with her long enough.

But Harper responds. “Hey.”

“You look good.” Axel slips from a soft smile to a wide grin. Damn him. Damn him and his pretty face. And whatever type of cologne he was wearing, because the pretty boy smelt pretty damn good. 

“You clean up well too, y’know. Trying to outshine me here?” Tries to keep her tone light and teasing, because if Axel was going to ignore the way his agent was crawling up the walls, then so would she. If only because she was sure she’d be up there soon, too, anyway.

Looks over his shoulder, if only to control her heartbeat. One day, her body wouldn’t betray her like this. Especially not when she was greasy and tired, remnants of pencil on the sides of her hands, the odd pen mark on her fingers. Maybe a line on her pants she was acutely aware of. Ew.

Harper notices that he stopped talking then, or at least had no intention to keep going. Good. Thank you very much, she thinks, and finally looks at him. And notices how his face just got closer. 

Well, shit.

This was. Well. It was very different. Axel was warm and Harper was distinctly aware of the strawberry flavoured lip balm, and his hands on her waist, and how his eyes slid shut. Maybe she should shut hers too. Maybe she should get more into it. Whatever thoughts and actions she wanted to have, there was a disconnect between everything, because she was pretty sure synapses caught on fire, and someone threw a bucket of confetti on everything.

Mostly because lord have mercy, but Axel was kissing her — slipping her a bit of tongue, even — and was clearly ignoring the squawking around them. Fine. She could ignore them too. Slips her arms around his neck and kisses back a little harder, a little better into it on her behalf. Tilts her head, closes her eyes. Harper won’t deny that the fire roaring in her wasn’t wholly bad, with just how she tingled. Harper would cover up the fact that she might’ve thought an ‘oh yeah baby’, as that thought was just between her and the other mini Harper’s running in her head, one part celebration, one part also celebration but louder.

Goddamn, if she’d known kissing Axel was this good, she might’ve done it earlier. Thank god he was clearly more confident than her, right then, at that exact moment. 

[ofjcsie]

werd. it meme, kayla, with yet another muse. this is my bad bitch josie, lets get to know her shall we

「 ISKRA LAWRENCE, CISFEMALE, TWENTY-FOUR, JESY NELSON. 」┈did you read that latest viral gossip issue on JOSIE PRYOR? she is the VOCALIST in ETHEREAL, one of my favorite POP groups. they’ve been releasing music for ONE YEAR now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last YEAR. get this, i think i heard SHE MARRIED A STRANGER IN LAS VEGAS. they’re known as the THE CATACLYSMIC of the music industry, since they have a rep for being BENEVOLENT but TENACIOUS, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1.

firstly im gonna apologize if this is all over the place. im gonna try to organize it but i cant make any promises.

BASICS

full name is josephine iridessa pryor, but goes by josie for the most part

named after her maternal grandfather, joseph.

originally from tallahassee, florida. ur basic suburban middle class white family. one older sister. her mom owned her own bakery and her dad was a paralegal.

ex high school cheerleader

one tough cookie

AESTHETIC

leather jackets, skin tight jeans, fishnets, roses with the thorns still on the stem, red nail polish, fangs, messy hair, scars covered by tattoos, the moon at midnight, high heeled boots, dancing like nobody’s watching, and structured handbags.

HEADCANONS (?)

literally ppl are always like “josie can’t sing. she’s inconsistent.” or “she’s the ugly one” or rlly mean Ugly comments about her body and just general ugly body shaming. like she Knows she’s not the same size as her bandmates but like ???? she loves herself??? it took her a long time to get to this self love level and she loves her girls so she’s always telling people to fuck off

literally gets in trouble with management for telling body shamers in her comments or ppl that are generally rude to her and/or ethereal to fuck off. probably has blocked some accounts (even stan ones sdscdcs) like jesy has

cute but will 1000000000000% fight u if u make her mad, say bad things about ppl she cares about, or start body shaming

body posi, self love, and self care activist and supporter of the #metoo movement as it relates to her past

since her mom had a bakery, she worked there in hs and knows her way with cupcakes

hates wine & has never done hard drugs

i rlly cant stress enough how she will fight anyone and everyone for being an asshole

Straight (shes like my only straight character it’s Wild)

never had a serious relationship because she’s always been guarded but she has been in love, or at least thought it was love

curvy > plus sized bc she is by no means “plus” and knows this. by measurement/fashion standards she is between straight size and plus, so just go with curve/curvy

DETAILS (?)

TRIGGER WARNING FOR BODY/FAT SHAMING & SEXUAL ASSAULT:  josie’s curves developed faster than other girls her age, so even in like 6th grade ppl were calling her rlly ugly names because her hips had grown and saying things about her, even going as far as slut shaming and oversexualizing her developing body like gross. around this time someone she thought was a friend would repeatedly touch her without her permission (also she was like 13 and knew absolutely no better than ‘uh he’s my pal so i guess it’s alright if he touches between my legs when i dont want him to). it rlly tore her down and she felt like she was nothing. that low self esteem rlly followed her into high school. the bullying kinda morphed more into unwanted glares from boys, girls calling her a sl*t, and ppl just being generally mean because of her body shape. her sophomore year she tried out for the jv cheerleading squad bc she really just wanted to be involved and have school spirit, plus she had a friend who was doing it. things were rad, she made the team, all was good, she rlly liked it and even wanted to go out for varsity the next year. junior year came around and she was on jv again, but their coach ended up quitting so the trainer stepped in. he was nice to all the girls bc he’d known them and was working with them but rlly this was just grooming tbh, like he kinda made it seem like he was hte only one in their corner if they were having problems. she got a weird feeling from him but folks were just kinda like “eh you’re over-reacting, it was just a hug” but when they went away to cheer camp it was like damn what a change. he got a little bit violent and ut was just generally a Not Fun experience, like yelling at the girls and embarrassing them to the point where other coaches and such were like “uh he needs to chill tf out”. to make everything worse one of the nights he knocked on the door of the room josie was staying in, saying he wanted to talk to her, she let him in and long story short he got handsy. when she told school authorities what happened, it was her word against his, but after testimony from teammates about his behavior at camp and everything, the school gave him an ultimatum: resign or be fired and go to court.. lmao guess which he took. so basically he got away with molesting her and being an abusive bag of dicks. END OF TRIGGER

for a long time she blamed herself bc she thought she was too naive or maybe if she hadn’t opened the door, or it was all her fault and she let it happen. sometimes she still has self doubt moments where she thinks about “but what if....” or she says “at least it wasn’t as bad as...” she’s very passionate about the metoo movement tho, and abusers being held accountable for their actions (no matter their gender or sexuality)

she doesnt really talk about what happened in detail, but she has been vocal about the metoo movement and she stands with her #MeToo sisters because she’s been there

since cheer was like “aha nop never again” senior year she got involved in the drama club. she’d sang in church choir before, but nothing Super Serious. but the fall production of grease really caught her eye, so, she auditioned and voila, Sandy. 

after graduation, she started community college in musical theater, still working at the bakery but she fuckin wanted to leave florida (dont... we all??) so she used the money she saved from the bakery, bought a one way bus ticket, and ended up in austin texas... not exactly where she wanted to be, but it was out of florida.

she started singing at bars and trying to get involved with local small theater productions/companies, but that really just was not cutting it. so she asked her dad for some moolah and she moved to los angeles. for a long time she lived in a very very shitty apartment complex (if u rememerbr YEARS ago there was a show on the cw called the complex... it was about struggling young actors/musicians living in one place.. lowkey it was good but it got cancelled before season 2 wow shocker amirite) her agent was kinda bad, like joey’s from friends, but the one thing he got right was booking her an audition for a new girl group that a label was putting together. and boom, ethereal.

AS for the vegas thing lmAO.... i’ve been feeling like it was kind of recent. like, ethereal had already formed or was right at the beginning of the four girls coming together. (i still gotta work out those kinks) but essentially she went to vegas and on a Wild night, married a stranger. all she remembers from the memory clips are they met at the casino, there’s a chapel, back in her hotel room, a charge on her credit card for the honeymoon room service package, and the next morning she woke up alone in bed with a huge fuckin headache and a cheap ring on her finger. she was 22 and dumb. but aint we all?? she’s still technically married, but does NOT wear a ring or talk at all about having a husband because she doesnt know the dude. like literally can’t find him lmao, can’t find him to get that shit annulled or file for divorce. therefore, technically married.

SOME WANTED CONNECTIONS

i dont have a Ton but some that i’d love to have established are a mentor (probably someone who is older or more accustomed to fame), a roommate or ex-roommate (could be multiple), a celebrity crush (again, probably more fmaous), someone she tells everything to (they’d probably know about the vegas thing and her history regarding sexual assualt)

other than that, hmu or like this if u wanna plot??? im down for anything????

[averyonelovesjack]

tickets ~ zach herron

requested: yes

Sorry to such a bother but I thought of an idea! It's the Zach anon again haha, but I was thinking of something like actions speak louder than words? Where he doesn't think he loves the reader but his actions show he does but doesn't realize it until later, kinda like the boys songs "words I didn't say"? Maybe the reader gets a bf and he tries to convince her he loves her more and she tried to move on from zach but cant. Sorry that's so jumbled but something like that would be cute! Thanks babe!

summary: with a boyfriend, y/n struggles to confront zach about her feelings.

warning(s): cursing (tbh can’t remember but probably)

word count: 2728

author’s note: i absolutely love this idea!! that’s one of my favorite songs so it was really fun to write for me. i hope you like it love:)

I couldn’t help but let out a small giggle as my best friend stared at me from across the kitchen table in the early morning. My voice was sore and my throat was dry, but a hoarse laugh left my throat at the silly faces that Zach had made to get me to smile in the slightest way.

My lips sipped at the coffee mug, my eyes closed so that I wouldn’t choke from laughing while i drank. As i put the cup down, I let out another laugh, Zach’s facial expression changing.

“stop,” i whined at him, “it’s too early to laugh”

he made a different face, “it’s never too early to laugh, y/n” 

i shook my head, letting out another chuckle at my obnoxiously hilarious best friend. his face turned to a smiley one that i couldn’t help but return. zach was too cute when he smiled and it was impossible not to return it, “are we still on for pitch perfect 3?” 

“i thought you’d forget about that,” he playfully rolled my eyes, “if we must see it, then fine. We’re still on” 

“of course we must see it!” i stared at him, “we’ve seen the other two together. It’d be shameful not to see the third one together” 

“to be fair, you did force me to see the other two as well,” Zach defended his former statements.

“yes, but you ended up loving them,” I explained and he shook his head.

“no, i loved the first one. the second one was ok” 

I shook my head, “it was funny!” 

“yeah, but what’s the point in a third one? what could they possibly do that they haven’t done already?” 

“i don’t know! that’s why we have to go see it!” He groaned and slid down in his seat as I giggled, taking another sip of my coffee.

Excitement traveled through my body as I arrived at the Why Don’t We household. I didn’t bother knocking, knowing that at least Zach was home, due to my calling prior to arriving.

I sprinted up the stairs and into his bedroom. Zach sat on his bed, a guitar in his arm as he played around with it. I looked at him and he laughed at my lack of breath from running up a flight of stairs. 

My body collapsed on his bed, my head staring up at his as he leaned over me with a smile on his face. Everything inside of me was bursting with happiness as I stared at him.

“so are you gonna tell me why you’re so excited?” he questioned with a slight laugh, strumming one final chord before setting the guitar down in the stand and staring at me. I sat up with a wide smile.

“you know jake?” 

zach nearly rolled his eyes, “yes, i know your boyfriend” 

“wellll, he’s taking me to the rangers-kings game tomorrow!” I squealed, “it’s an anniversary present” 

“when’d he tell you about this, y/n?” his eyebrows furrowed, rather than him being excited for me.

“just an hour ago, when i saw him. since you know, our three months is next week and he wanted to surprise me” 

zach nodded his head, looking down a little bit sadly.

i stared at him, confused by his response, “what’s wrong?”

he shook his head, “it’s nothing. i’m happy for you guys, i am” 

i didn’t believe a single piece of bullshit that left his mouth. my eyes stared into his, “no i’m serious. what’s wrong?” 

he sighed, staring at me with indecisiveness. zach took a moment before standing up to go towards his desk. i watched his every move, staring at his hands as they dug through his desk drawer. within a minute, he pulled out two pieces of paper, “i bought these about a month ago for you. I knew you were excited about the Rangers being in town and they were only playing here once this year, the other two games being in New York. I told Jake that I’d wanted to get you the tickets, but i guess i never told him that i got them” 

Zach looked sad as I stared. I don’t know what to say. There’s nothing to say in this situation, “zach, it’s really sweet of you to do this. thank you” 

he scoffed, looking away, “not if i can’t even take you” 

“it’s the thought that counts,” I explain, “maybe one of the other boys will want to go. Jonah, maybe? he’s from Minnesota, does he like hockey?” 

Zach shook his head, “it’s fine. i’ll just sell them,” He tried to fake a smile, but i could easily see that it wasn’t real, “was that all?” 

“i guess,” i replied sadly, “we could hang out for a little bit” 

“don’t you want to go see jake?” The name escaped his lips like venom from a snake, “he got you hockey tickets. You guys don’t have something planned?”

i shook my head, “no, we talked. and then i came here to see you. i thought we could hang out” 

“yeah, whatever” He shrugged, not looking at me. I watched as he took a seat on the bed, lying back.

“are you ok? you seem a little weird today,” I ask my best friend, “then again, you’re always a little weird” 

“fine. just tired,” He tries to excuse his odd behavior but i could see past it, “long day” 

“ok,” i reply skeptically, “i’m sorry again”

“don’t be sorry” he tells me, “you’re not the one who should be sorry” 

i frown, “jake didn’t know, zach. it wasn’t his fault” 

“you sure he didn’t know?” Zach told me, a little harsher than before, “because it seems like something he did know and he just wanted to get it so that i couldn’t” 

“can you stop attacking him please?” I begged, “he didn’t know” 

“yeah whatever,” he looked at me, “i’m a little tired, maybe you want to go talk to one of the other guys?” 

A small frown reached my face as i cautiously closed the door behind me, exiting. Jack met me when i did, and the sad look on my face allowed him to make sure i was ok. I fed him a simple answer and left, walking towards my car.

Zach has been my best friend for five years now, I moved out to LA to be with him. Everything he did for me, it was perfect. He’d make me laugh and he’d go with me places that I couldn’t drag anyone else to. He would make me smile when I’m in the darkest spot. There were arguments and fights through our relationship, sure, but we pushed through them always. They made us each sad to think about or do.

I got in the front seat of my car, thoughts of the day prior rushing to my mind. Zach had always been my little mini crush, since day one. And it wasn’t because he was extremely attractive (i mean that too), but because of his heart. He was kind and funny and sweet and perfect. I never acted upon those thoughts in fear that he’d get mad or that we’d end a good friendship for something as stupid as an itty bitty crush.

But then that itty bitty crush grew. And he became everything to me. My best friend, my partner in crime, my movie buddy, and the secret love of my life. I was so in love with him for the longest time, but he never seemed to notice. We’d do things and I’d look at him with a pair of puppy dog eyes and he would refer to me as nothing but a friend. 

So when Jake came along, he was sweet and athletic and almost as funny as Zach. He would treat me like a princess and take me places I couldn’t imagine. He asked me to be his girlfriend, and as much as I was still in love with Zach, i needed someone to be there in a way that Zach just couldn’t. Jake was perfect for that. He’s a great boyfriend and he means well, i know that.

My car pulled up in front of my boyfriend’s house and I walked up to the door, knocking carefully. A few footsteps came from inside the house, and a shirtless Jake let a smile leave his lips when he saw my body standing there. He leaned down, pecking my lips and letting me in.

“hey babe, what’s up?” he questioned, “i thought you went over to tell Zach or something” 

“yeah,” i shrugged, “he was tired, i guess” 

I shook the thoughts from my mind, but Jake looked at me, “did something happen?” 

“no,” i frown, before looking up at my boyfriend’s pleading eyes, “he was a little annoyed today, that’s all. I figured he wasn’t in the mood today, so i decided to come back here. i hope you’re not busy” 

“of course not,” he told me, “i’m never too busy to hang out with you” 

“that’s sweet,” i reply and i follow him towards his living room. we each took a seat on the couch, my head resting into his neck.

It was several moments and an episode of friends later when Jake and I spoke again.

“you know i love you, right?” Jake asks me. it was quick, sure, but he and i knew where we stood.

i nodded my head a little bit, “i love you too” 

“but i mean, you know i love you more than zach does, right?” 

i looked at him strangely, “what do you mean?” 

“i love you more than zach does,” Jake repeated.

“i don’t know how you really compare them,” I furrow my eyebrows, “but that’s very sweet of you” 

“he’s your friend, and i’m your boyfriend. i guess it just makes sense for me to love you more. and i love you so much, so i don’t know that he could love you more,” My boyfriend defended his reasons and i became skeptical. I love him very much, but it almost hurt when he said Zach was just my friend. Sure, friendship is all we have together, but he’s a best friend. Not just a friend.

“did you know that zach had already gotten me tickets to the game? he just mentioned that he had them for a while now,” I asked, changing the topic of discussion to get a real answer from my boyfriend.

“i didn’t know that he actually got them,” Jake shrugged.

“you didn’t trust that he would actually get them?” i scoff, unsure if i was kidding or not with him. It was a little foolish of him to think Zach wouldn’t go that far.

“i guess not, no,” his eyebrows squeezed together in confusion, “he’s just friend and tickets are a pretty big commitment to someone. They’re not cheap, especially in LA” 

i looked at him crazy, “Zach’s not just a friend. He’s my best friend. he’s the reason I’m even in LA. it’s a commitment that he would make, i know. And to add to that, he’s a freaking famous singer, you don’t think he would have to money to put into it?” i explain, but then finish off with something simple, “it’s just a little confusing, babe” 

“i guess i underestimated the power of your relationship,” He frowned, looking down instead of at me, “you really like him, don’t you?” 

“he’s my best friend, jake,” i try to explain again, but it was no use. Jake saw through my lies.

“no, you’re in love with him, y/n” Jake says, “how long has it been?” 

i stayed quiet, unsure of if i was even going to answer. It’d break his heart, and even if he was being a little idiotic about zach, jake’s given me the time of my life these past three months. It would hurt him too much.

“y/n, just freaking tell me, ok? i don’t care anymore, it’s done, it’s over. nothing can be changed, and you’re in love with your best friend. i can’t be mad at you, it’s not something you’ve just controlled. just please, one final question,” Jake looks sad, “how long have you been in love with him?” 

i played with my fingers, my voice cracking just slightly as i looked down, “a couple years,” i start, “but i met you, jake. and i do love you, i swear. It’s just that-” 

i pause, trying to figure out what to say next when Jake finished it for me, “you love him a little more. Or a lot more. You’ve always loved him and you can’t move on until you see what it could be, or what it will be” 

i nodded my head, my boyfriend summing up my feelings perfectly. A small sob left my mouth as i looked to him, “i’m so sorry” 

his arms wrapped around me, pulling my body closely to his and shushing me, “i’m sorry,” Jake whispered, “for putting you in this position. you don’t have to choose, y/n. go get your man” 

i removed my body from his, looking at him, “jake, i’m so sor-” 

“don’t worry, y/n. i hope we can still be friends,” he smiles sadly, “because as much as you love zach, i think that you and i would be really great friends. go get your guy” 

i sniffled, looking up at him, “you’re a really great guy, you know that? you’re gonna get a really great girl someday”

“yeah yeah, i’d hope,” he jokes, “i’m getting old” 

i playfully hit his chest, “you’re not even twenty” 

“my friends have kids” he explained.

“your friends are twenty five” i explain and the two of us laugh at his stupidity.

“ok ok, now go. don’t miss out on this opportunity,” Jake smiles and i look at him with the biggest smile now, wiping away my tears.

I arrived at the Why Don’t We household, knocking on the suddenly locked door. It was a few moments before Jack showed up and his face looked sorrowful at mine.

“i knew you weren’t ok. what happened?” he tried to pull me in for a hug, but i shook my head, sending him a smile.

“no, i’m really good actually. is zach still home?” I ask and he stares at me strangely.

“i don’t think he’s come out of his room since you left” 

“perfect,” i walk past him and down the hallway until I reach Zach’s bedroom that was shared with two other boys. When I knocked, there wasn’t much of an answer, so i walked in, recognizing that Zach was yet again playing around on his guitar, alone in the shared room.

Zach stared at me strangely, “hey, are you ok?” 

“i’m great,” i laugh, “everything is perfect” 

he put his guitar down cautiously, “is that sarcastic or-” 

“i love you,” i blurt out, unexpected even to myself. if this happened months ago, i would’ve covered my mouth and left, but this time, i laughed again in excitement. i restated my sentence, “i love you” 

“y/n-” i couldn’t tell what Zach was feeling, “jake” 

“it’s over,” i officially state, “we broke up, and i’m fine” 

“what happened?” he asks, “are you sure you’re ok?” 

“i hope you haven’t sold those tickets yet,” i sit down on his bed and he sits up further, looking at me.

“y/n, what happened?” 

“he knew that i loved you. It wasn’t bad, he’s a sweet guy and he means the best. I’d been sitting on this forever and i’m over it. I’m tired of just sitting here and analyzing whether or not you were flirting with me or just talking as friends. This isn’t a secret anymore and i hope it doesn’t ruin our relationship”

Zach say anything, really. He looked at me with his beautiful eyes. It was very quick, but his hands reached my face, resting softly there as my lips parted and attached to his. Zach deepened the kiss he’d started, making butterflies go off inside my stomach.

After a few moments, we separated and I stared at Zach with a wide smile, “is that your response?” 

“i love you too,” he let out a little laugh, going in to peck my lips once again, “i really love you too”