#i borrowed it from the library but I'm making myself finish the other book I have downloaded first 🫥

[megalommi]

Nightmare and Dr Baggs discuss literature, in a scenario where Baggs joins the Bad Sans Crew.

This was only meant to be a few sentences, whu happun

It had taken some time to settle in to his new situation, kept in employ by Nightmare and living on-site in his castle.

The work wasn't the difficult part, he was a professional and in his element.

The trouble was... Well, he had a lot more freedom to push himself beyond his physical limits back home, when HE was the boss. It seemed the entire crew was bent on making sure he kept 'appropriate' hours. Honestly, it was bad enough that he wasted so much time SLEEPING (he was eternally grateful for Nightmare's assistance, don't get him wrong).

Nightmare INSISTED he take more leisure time, and bond with his new team. He wasn't in any position to argue, his new boss was very much immune to his power, he was thoroughly outmatched.

So, that's where he found himself, lounging on a comfortable seat in the drawing room, one leg propped up on an arm and one dangling off, with a thick leather bound book in one hand, and a flute of wine in the other. The boys were hooting and hollering as they squished together on the couch and played something on the their rather wide television called "Smash Brothers".

The temperature in the room very slightly dropped and the shadows in the corners deepened, as they often did on the arrival of the castle's master. He finished the line he was reading before he glanced up, meeting the eye of his superior now perched on the arm of the boys' couch with his legs folded and elbows resting on his knee, a flute of the same wine between his fingers.His tentacles swayed languidly behind him, and pulsed slightly, he seemed to be feeding off the anguish of Cross, who was shouting something about being ganged up on.

He paid no mind to the scene behind him, Nightmare's full attention was on Baggs at this moment, regarding him with interest.

"How are you finding the new addition to the cast?"

It appeared he was correct in assuming the impressive library was not just for show, if Nightmare was familiar with the one he held in his hands. He was floored upon discovering the room in his exploration, his hand had trailed across well worn covers of so many books he had never even heard of. Granted, he only had what trash fell into the Underground, where Nightmare had access to untold worlds worth of stories. What marvels must he have collected here?

Imagine his delight, then, when he discovered on those shelves the sequel to a book he had read many times over! Finally, that awful cliffhanger would haunt him no more!

... Having said that.

"They're derivative of the main character, and baked in so much cliche, I struggle to understand their inclusion at all."

He found it useless to even try to lie to a being who could sense emotion, one even more sharply perceptive than himself. His blunt honesty was always a risk of Nightmare's ire, so he was surprised when the god barked a laugh instead.

"I thought much the same on my very first read through. Imagine my surprise when by the end of the novel, they became my favourite character."

Baggs blinked, he hadn't been expecting that. He glanced back down to his book, as if it may reveal a detail he had missed.

Nightmare grinned, and took a sip of his own drink "Though perhaps I should hold my tongue, I would not want to spoil it."

Baggs marked his place and closed the cover, leaving it in his lap. "I trust it's alright that I borrowed it?"

He waved him off casually "I'm pleased someone other than myself stepped foot in the pride of my castle, for once."

"The boys not ones for reading, then?" He glanced at said boys, still entrenched in the battle of 'Poke' Floats'.

"Academic conversation is hard to come by here, I'm afraid." He grimaced, though there was no heat behind it. It was clear how endeared he was to his little party of meat heads.

The god of negativity continued to surprise him, since he was whisked away suddenly from his home with little choice in the matter. His presence then had been oppressively intimidating, and even Baggs didn't dare imagine the kind of horrors he may be forced to commit under such a man's employ.

It turned out, he was to nurse back to health a squad of trigger happy fools, who had all been injured so badly that Nightmare had been forced to seek his help. The intimidating facade had crumbled underneath his clear worry, anxiously hovering over Baggs's shoulder as he mended broken bones.

Since then they'd all fully recovered back to their usual, rowdy selves, and he had settled into somewhat of a school nurse role. Compared to his work at home, this was a vacation.

He had struggled to understand why he had not been tossed back into a portal as soon as his purpose had been fulfilled. He expected there may be some dangerous mission he would be wrangled into, making use of his unique abilities of control. But no, Nightmare seemed more than content with the doctor's contributions, even pulling him away from his work personally to relax with the rest of them for 'family dinner'.

But to suggest Nightmare kept him around for company? As if they would start up a book club and gush over mutual interests in high fantasy? Ridiculous.

... And yet. He eyed Nightmare curiously over the rim of his flute as he emptied it. A tentacle came into view with the bottle and topped off his glass swiftly after.

Well. He may be kept here for a while yet, he might as well find more books to occupy his enforced leisure time.

"That is a shame, such an impressive collection going unappreciated. My own salvaged few truly pale in comparison."

Nightmare preened, sitting slightly straighter "I have spent a century collecting the best offerings of the multiverse."

Baggs's smirk grew in satisfaction, the way it often would when he had a monster in the palm of his hand, an intoxicating feeling. He leaned forward "Would you share some recommendations for my next read? I'm afraid I have no idea where to start."

Nightmare chuckled pleasantly as he relaxed back, leaning an arm on the back of the couch. "One might assume you're trying to butter me up with talk like that, doctor." His tentacles curled playfully, and behind them a few of the boys had begun to look between the pair with curiosity.

He grinned widely at the challenge, having been so easily seen through "Come now.~ What greater pleasure is there than to indulge one's passion for literature?"

The god's tentacles curled minutely, bright, glittering eyelight smouldering and socket crinkling with the uptick of his smirk. A dark boned phalange distractingly traced slow circles on the rim of his own flute "What, indeed."

He would blame the wine for the magenta that coloured his cheeks and crept down his neck.

[battydora]

"YEAH, WE ARE A LITTLE CLICHE!"

masterlist | rules

pairing: kyojuro rengoku, reader

content: sfw, college au, modern au, gn reader, friends to lovers, too tooth rooting fluff to my taste, kyo is a blushing and awkward mess, soft shit overall i love him so much, barely proof read!!

note: MAN THIS TOOK FOREVER. it's finally done. this is my first kyojuro fic in a long time omg i missed writing for him i'm so happy!!! also this is for @renhoeku 's kyojuro's birthday collab, i'm so excited because this is the very first collab i join to as a fic writer too!!! thanks for letting me join, this is so niche and cliche but i'm still a sucker for cliche tropes, i can't help myself, i hope you enjoy it! ♡

music inspo: this playlist ♡

wc: 3.4k

you are running late to your second class that day because you got distracted with your friends from other courses. a few books you borrowed from the library are being held by your hands about to fall thanks to your turbulent running.

would it really be that cliche and dumb to crash into someone midway? yes, and you are right, you just crashed into someone unexpectedly, all your books are now spread across the hallway and you're on the floor. you make your best to quickly sit down to apologize to the person you just basically slammed into, who seems to be a boy around your age you are sure you never seen before. what is up with his hair?

“oh my god, i am so sorry! are you okay?!” your voice filled with concern when you se the stranger on the floor rubbing his head in ache, who turns his gaze to you at your question.

“yes, i am fine! you shall not worry! are you alright?” his voice is loud and cheerful, luckily he isn't showing any signs of injury or such so you sigh relieved.

“yes! yes, i'm fine, god this is so embarassing and cliche” you sigh again now collecting your books, seeing how the boy was doing the same with his stuff. he finishes quickly so he is able to lend you a hand and he hands you a few of your notes.

“there you go” he says with a bright smile, now that you had a chance to look at him upclose, you find yourself staring at a charming face that sends you vibes of a person with a bright personality, kinda blessing if you are honest, his red eyes as shiny as his curious looking yellow and red hair, you zone out for a few seconds staring at the stranger before you snap back when he speaks to you.

“thank you, and i'm so sorry again!” you bend down in order to apologize to him.

“do not worry, i am not in pain! you seemed in a rush so it is totally alright, you can head to your class”

"yes, i'm already running late, so bye! thank you!" you say in a charismatic tone, you finally got up and start running again, leaving the kind stranger behind.

you got to class very late. you tried to catch up with your classmates but they were very ahead of you, you try to cheer yourself up by thinking the class was going to be short anyways and that coffee break was just around the corner. once the class is over, you start to head to a cafe near the campus, but before you can leave the building, you see the same kind stranger leaving his classroom. you lock gazes with eachother and he smiles at you when he sees you walking in his direction.

"ah, it's you!" he begins, an innocent enthusiasm captured his loud voice "did you make it to class?" he asks with an amused tone, yet sounding nice, no harm in his words. you chuckle out a sigh and smile in disbelief, your head lowers a bit.

"yes but i arrived quite late, all my classmates were already ahead of me" you sound dissapointed, wanting to forget about the misfortunate act.

"i see, that's a shame to hear" his smile fades just for a few seconds, pitting you a bit "where are you heading now?" he asks out of pure curiousity.

"oh, i'm going to the cafe nearby to have a coffee before going to my next class, i hope i'm not late this time" at your words the stranger chuckles out a loud laugh.

"i'm sure you won't, i was about to go to the cafe aswell. would you like to grab some coffee with me?" he asks looking at you, his smile flashing on his face again, it is almost as if his smile had a radiance of its own.

you can't deny his invitation, you liked this stranger, he seemed like a nice guy, everything about his vibes feel comforting and pleasant. why not?

"sure, let's go!"

in the way to the cafe, you exchange a few personal data, you get to know his name is kyojuro rengoku, he is a third year of his career like you and he is in an opposite class of yours. your schedules rarely alinged so it was almost impossible for you to see him around, however he was there today because he was taking extra classes for his upcoming exam next week, he also said he finds morning shift much more comfortable than the afternoon one so he is considering changing shifts. he is an interesting and nice guy, very cheerful and respectful in his manners, once at the cafe he asks you a few questions about yourself too, so you start to talk on and on about yourselves, exchanging thoughts and interests, slowly developing a friendly bond. he is very humoristic too, making little jokes and comments in order to make you laugh, some people around side eye at you both a small judgamental face at how loud you were laughing but it doesn't seem to bother any of you.

never was a coffee break this entretaining.

after 15 minutes you start heading back to classes alongside kyojuro, with a bright smile on your face, this dude is amazing! he made you completely forget about the mishap you went though earlier, his company is bright and lighthearted, you want to get to know him better if you are honest.

six months pass by and you and kyojuro developed a lovely friendship, you got to know him better as you proposed yourself too and he ended up being twice as interesting than you imagined, he was rising his younger brother on his own, his father was abscent but still made sure to pay for everything their sons needed, you feel pitty for him for having such a dick dad but he tells you to not pay him any attention, kyojuro is more than fine with the way he lives. he is overly optimistic but realistic at the same time, he knows his father is not the best dad but he still chooses to smile and hold his head high doing the best he can for his brother, this attitude of his makes your days lighter and this often makes you feel encouraged you to work hard or try new things you normally would've need a lot of courage to do. now that kyojuro changed shifts, you two use to go to the campus yard and sit on the grass to study or just talk, often letting your conversations continue until sunset, the lovely seasonal sunlight always witnessing your friendship's growth. other times you meet at any of your homes to study for upcoming exams, he is a great studying partner! you share some snacks and drinks during those study sessions and laugh a lot. this turned into a habit overtime.

you met a few people along the way, kyojuro introduced you to his friend group and now you spend plenty of time with them, everyone is so nice and fun to be around, this guy tengen is one extroverted and entretaining person, however the group (including yourself) tease him about him claiming to be the most flamoyant looking but then having a disastrous sense of fashion, he dresses well, yes, but his accessory choices are an absolute mess. you tease him often saying a headband full of glitter and plastic gems is an horrendous choice even if he says otherwise. then this girl shinobu, she is one of the quietest of the group but whenever she speaks you always engage in an interesting and thoughtful conversation, she is very smart and you get to exchange interesting and weird facts, conversations with her tend to be very fruitful (and she always has some gossip or embarassing stories of the other group members, she is truly so entretaining to be around too). there is this other guy, giyuu, who is the quiet introverted after shinobu, who sticks around his extroverted friends and always signs up to the chaotic ideas the three loudest members come up with, he is a man of few words but his group understand him perfectly without needing to speak to him. you try to talk to him, but it's just that it's difficult to draw his attention and have long chats with him if your interests don't align, however you made your way to his heart when you told him your favourite bands and they ended up being the same bands giyuu was into you so you always find time to talk about your favourite songs and their meanings, after that you got to know him a little better, turning out to be an interesting guy.and then finally is this girl, kanroji, who is kyojuro's childhood best friend, they met in kindergartden and since then they're inseparable, she knows kyojuro from head to toes; she is a very lovely girl, always full of compliments for everyone and is nice, even to strangers. she is sweet around you too and since you're kyojuro's friend, she whispers embarassing facts about younger rengoku for you to laugh and his only reaction is to laugh awkwardly at the weird kid he was in highschool, blushing out of embarassment, which only made you feel closer to him, everytime you got to know something new about him, you found yourself feeling more captivated by his sparkling personality, he is indeed a wonderful person.

you grew close to this group and spent a lot of time together after class, some weekends you went out for beer and spent so many amazing nights together, but there was some things you weren't quite aware of until the first five months you spent together, such as how kanroji and uzui teased kyojuro more than they usually did, specially when you were around. it was overall suspicious to you because it looked like the flamboyant boy and the lovely girl were up to something but you had no clues of what it could be. kyojuro's face would turn red at their statements and start telling them to cut it off. you asked shinobu what was up with those three and she would just laugh softly and answer "those are just uzui and mitsuri's antics, don't pay them any attention" but she knew quite well something was going on around rengoku for them to act the way they did and she did not want to tell you.

you didn't pay much attention to it at the moment because finals are now around the corner and you have to strive on passing, so your studying sessions with kyojuro took place at least three times a week, both you two were a bit stressed, there was a lot of content you had to study for both of your careers so you barely had time to spend doing anything else than studying. you are now at your place, you agreed with kyojuro to go to your house to study after class, it is around 6 PM now and you two are sitting at the living room table, notes and folders spread all over it and the floor. silence is all over the room, both of you two focused on your books, which is common in your studying sessions, you work better working in silence yet together in a way.

after like three hours, you sigh out of tiredness and throw yourself back, laying flat on the ground, a grunt of disbelief leaves your mouth as you frown completely exhausted. kyojuro just looks at you, raising his eyebrows at your motion.

"too much?" he asks in a calm tone, despite him being just as tired as you, he even shows small signs of having baggy eyes.

"yeah, i hate this career" you say, jokingly but yes, you are tired, he lets out a giggle.

"how about a break?" he suggests, putting his pen down and closing his notebook for a minute.

"that sounds great" you agree sitting back down, now looking at your phone cheking the time "oh my god, it's already 9 PM. don't you have to be home to senjuro?" you ask in concern, his little brother was left alone.

"oh, no don't worry, he is at a friend's house, he is staying over until tomorrow. however i should be heading back not too late because the street may turn dangerous if i walk too late" he says standing up, you copy his action.

"i don't have a problem with you staying over, though. if it gets too late you can sleep here" you offer.

"really?" he seems surprised, a sparkle of excitement shining in his eyes.

"yeah! we can prepare a nice meal and continue to study until we go to sleep" your smile widens as you speak, the idea of having an improvised pijama party with kyojuro.

"yes, i would love that!" his eyes seem to sparkle with joy at the proposal, you both start walking to the kitchen and open the fridge to check what you had.

"well, i went to the market the other day so i have plenty of things to prepare. how does udon sound for you?" you ask with a gentle smile.

"sounds great! let's do it"

and just like that, you two start preparing dinner. you put some music to make the cooking much more entretaining, you nor kyojuro can help but sing outloud, even dance, to your favourite songs, using kitchen utensils as microphones. the preparing overall is easy but what really made it entretaining and different from any other meal you ever prepared, is that you are doing it with good company, people say food tastes better when sharing it with someone and kyojuro is the living proof of the saying.

you cut the vegetables as he waits for the water to start boiling to finally cook the noodles, however, he walks behind you and rests his chin on your shoulder, checking on what you are doing, this isn't weird at all sometimes he would just do that affectionately.

"hi" you say in a sweet tone and a cute smile.

"hi" he answers with a wide smile on his face too, looking adorable as ever.

you go silent only for a few seconds until your body almost jumps for feeling kyojuro's hand making its way to the hand you are holding the knife with and lay it on the kitchen table as the other lands subtly on your waist, its a subtle motion but it is enough to make your face turn slightly red, wandering what he is thinking about now... not until he just starts tickling you making you to burst out laughing loudly, his fingers tickle all around your waist and armpits and laughs the moment you start fighting to stop him.

"k-kyojuro, s-stop! i'm al-almost peeing!" you protest between laughs, struggling to get some air in your lungs and trying to tickle him back, the attempt is useless because he's got you wrapped around his finger and all you can do is try to kneel down, as an attempt to escape from his grip, he follows as he continues laughing and sits on the ground wrapping your waist with his arm as the other continues to tickle you.

the laughter gets louder suddenly and in your last efforts to free yourself before giving up, you forcefully turn around to face him, a bit too clumsily, because this makes kyojuro fall back on his back, with you on top of him.

the blonde notices quickly the position you both ended up in and suddenly stops the tickling, giving you the chance to recover some air, you realize only a few seconds later the awkward situation you are left in the moment you look at kyojuro's face, his eyes are wide open, an awkward smile formed on his lips and a deep red blush covering the width and long of his face. your face turns inmediately red as you stare down at him, his hands resting again on your waist subtly, unsure of what he should do now. is this weird? is he being weird? no, why would he? it was just an accident, so why is he so nervous? what he should do? your wide open eyes are locked to his and now he is unsure if he should look away or not. the awkward silence goes on for a long time, you gulp and your heart is pounding, how did this happen all suddenly?

kyojuro meditates for a long while, is this a wrong time to make a move? he has been having mixed feelings about you, you two are amazing friends but he can't help but feel totally love-struck around you, you're so wonderful and smart... what if you don't like him back? what if he ruins the beautiful friendship you two have? he can't risk it... he doesn't want to push you away from his life.

but your body so close to his, your face looking his way, you can almost feel his heart jumping out of his chest... he just can't.

he bets everything to this very moment. his lips make a very small movement, as if he is trying to twist them into a kissing manner, noticeable to your eyes. your world falls apart when you see his head shyly trying to lean closer to you and your reaction is to blush even harder, everything is moving too fast, moments ago you were cooking and laughing and now you're suddenly on top of kyojuro on the floor, him trying to kiss you know, does that mean he likes you? or is it physical attraction only? how would this impact in your friendship? are you overthinking? you probably are. there are so many questions and so little time to answer each, he is already so close to your lips, his eyes are almost shut down entirely so you take a small breathe, choosing to relax and give in to the moment. your eyes close slowly, your head also leans in carefully and the distance between you two breaks, giving your friend a soft smooch on his lips.

it's sweet and gentle, shy one might say. not too long nor short, it's just enough for you two to implode out of happyness, kyojuro pulls away first out of nerves, he wants to see your face, he wants to know what are your thoughts in this very moment, he seems more nervous than you are. you two remain silent for a few instants before he speaks again.

"w-was that okay?" his face fails to go back to normal, it's still as red as before. you snort out a small giggle.

"it was sweet, i liked it" you smile warmly at him.

"gosh i'm so glad" he sighs in relief, throwing his head back for a second, trying to recover his composture, he was so scared he might mess up what you two had "i was mortified at the thought of... you know, scaring you away or seen as a weirdo by you"

you raise your brows and decide to finally move, you sit on the ground and grab kyojuro's hands to help him sit back down again, now getting the chance to talk normally.

"i don't think you would ever scare me away. perhaps, it was just a kiss" you pause only for a second "and i like you, how would a kiss be a reason to push me away"

"i... guess you are right" he laughs at his own thought, the nerves got the best of him, you are an amazing person, a kiss can't ruin everything "still, there is something i need to tell you..."

your face turns slightly pink at his words, your imagination wandering like crazy, is he really...? "yeah? what is it?" you try to stay calm, a small smile on your face, ready for his upcoming words. kyojuro seems a bit nervous again, he takes a deep breathe before talking again, his cheeks turning red once again.

"tengen will lose a bet to kanroji if i confess to you now, and i want him to lose." his statement is amusing, it makes you laugh, what is going to happen next is so obvious, his smile turns into a wide, warm and sincere one "there are feelings i want to confess to you right now, please listen to me"

thanks for reading!

[sleepy-vix]

book review of what i read today because i'm a nerd with nothing better to do!

today i just borrowed 'caraval' by stephanie garber from the library and finished it all within 4-5 hours. here are my brief thoughts:

(btw this is pretty spoiler free bc i dont talk abt any specific things abt the book)

for the first 100 pages, i hated the book. the romance was gross to me and i couldn't care less about the main character (actually i still couldn't care less about the main character tbh).

also i saw a review video after reading the book and the reviewer said that YA is a genre with a spectrum where on one end, it can be mature so adults can enjoy it but on the other hand, it can also be for readers that are quite young (eg preteens? im guessing??) and caraval falls under the latter category and that is VERY TRUE AND IT IRRITATED ME SO BAD but oh well that's just a me thing prolly

thankfully, half way through the book, things started to build up and everything was mysterious and intriguing which was what i wanted from the book

it didnt really get good until near the end though, around the last 150 pages. things kept piling up on eachother and i had no idea who to trust or what to expect, which i loved.

by the end, (as i said before) i couldn't care less about the main character, but i found that i was relieved by her "happy" ending (i used quotation marks because i'm not sure what will happen to her in the next book). i guess the romance was good because i did wish for julian to have a good ending, but ehh they don't make me sob or blush or whatever i'm supposed to (actually most of their "tension scenes" made me physically scowl and i had to skim over them. that's probably just me tho T-T)

anyways i was pretty conflicted over whether i wanted to read the next book in the trilogy, but after a bit of research i decided that i will!

I'm looking forward to that. caraval was a fun read i got to admit, even though it was really only 3/5 stars at most for me.

i hope i enjoy the rest of the trilogy alot more (i have hopes, since the next book will have a diff mc) because i want to read stephanie garber's other series, 'once upon a broken heart'- they aren't books that i usually read but i'm forcing myself to expand ny tastes and familiaries myself with popular books (for convo material- hopefully)

that concludes my book rant for now :)

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

I decided to ask around on all the fish/ocean blogs I follow: how do you learn more about the ocean?? I love the ocean and I really wanna learn more about my favorite sea creatures and beyond but I have no idea how to get started. Are there documentaries or shows your recommend? How do you go about doing research for fun (the American school system has failed me, go figure)? How do you even remember it all? I crave to learn but where I could possibly start is as vast as the ocean itself.

What a fun question! It is admittedly a bit difficult to go back to the beginning of my ocean-learning days, since I can't remember a time when I wasn't super into water and aquatic things, but I'll try! I think I started learning about oceans through books, I'd read and borrow a lot of fish and marine biology books at the library. I think they're the very best place to look to at first if you struggle with the paralysis of having too many things to do or too many places to look from! Libraries are really good sources of information, but unlike the internet, the resources are finite in some way, they're on physical paper, and tied to the place itself (until you take them home of course!), which at least to me makes it easier to start looking for what I want to know more about. Libraries make it easier for me to read things too, I get very distracted at home. Only when I am in the peace and quiet in between the bookshelves can I focus!

Another place that was no doubt a source of learning for me was natural history museums and aquariums. I was (..am) obsessed with the Finnish Museum of Natural History specifically, it was a must-visit every time we went to the capital city area up until the pandemic. Aquariums we went to less so, but the education they provide there is a gem! Sometimes you can even talk to an employee if you're lucky enough and learn extra bits of information about things. Not always free like libraries, but worth a shot if you get the opportunities to visit.

I've also watched and still watch marine/freshwater life documentaries and other educational shows! Usually I'd opportunistically go and watch them whenever one popped up on the TV, instead of going out to find them myself. This, and the fact that it's been many years since I saw some, I can't recall many of the names of the documentaries I've seen! There were some about dolphins and their fascinating behaviour and hunting habits, and this cool documentary series that divided its episodes into two parts with pure opposite climates and cultures with opposite lifestyles, but I can't seem to find the ones I'm thinking of!!! ...Ah, well. I can recommend you Planet Earth (2006), The Blue Planet (2001) and Blue Planet II (2017) from BBC, and Life on Our Planet (2023) which I'm currently watching on Netflix! Secrets of the Whales (2021) from National Geographic I didn't quite finish but it was still quite interesting, focuses on four species of whales.

As for doing my research... well, once I was old enough to get on the internet and I was super duper fixated on a specific species of animal or a group of animals, I'd do this thing where I look up the animal's name and slowly start going through every website that popped up, in order, bookmarking the websites with the most or most interesting information. I still do it. I don't know if it's the "correct" way, could there even be a correct way..? I doubt it, and it does give you many sources to reference with each other! I also like to look through videos of these animals, but, that's probably a given. If you're looking for fish info specifically, I like to fall back on FishBase, SeriouslyFish and A-Z Animals when I'm unsure about something (besides checking multiple sources), as far as I know they're trustworthy.

When it comes to remembering, I unfortunately cannot offer you any tips! I am fortunate in that I have naturally good memory and absorb information with relative ease, so I don't really have any tips for remembering things... though I do like to sort large batches of information into charts, like how I did when I was learning to take care of my shrimp! I looked through several websites and collected the suggested parameters from each, and compared them with each other. I did the same thing when I was making my informational comic about bigfin squids, I collected the depths and places in which squids were spotted in into charts. Perhaps that is helpful in some way!

So! TL;DR, libraries, documentaries, museums, aquariums, just plain old internet research. I hope this helps you in some way!!! <33 Well wishes from the fishes!

[spurgie-cousin]

update on quitting my soul-draining job (it's been like, a week i think since i told my boss i was finishing my last projects and quitting):

my manager actually didn't try to manipulate me into staying which was very unlike her and a pleasant surprise, bc all she talks about usually is how the entire dept is understaffed (and i've mentioned quitting before which she talked me out of). maybe she's planning on quitting too?

god the ✨RELIEF✨!!!!!!!!!! i've been conditioned to feel waves of panic at certain times of the day for so long lmao and now when they come i can just breathe and be like 😊doesn't matter anymore! insurance executives pressuring me? go at my pace or eat a dick! clients pissed off about something insignificant? wow sounds stressful good thing i won't have anything to do with you or this place in 2 weeks! department needs someone to pick up training or extra work? hmmm maybe there'd be more help around if you had a better environment with support for contractors sounds like a you problem. i feel zen af

i've actually had time in the afternoon to plan my garden this year and it's already so much better than a few hastily planted peppers and tomatoes. can't wait to do more with that.

i've had the time and mental energy to START A BOOK for FUN for the first time in like, a year.

nightly panic sessions about being bad at my job and how i'm not productive enough and therefore am a bad person who doesn't deserve anything good are waning and i think will eventually disappear.

i found a local CBT therapist in my actual town (a complete mind fuck as i've been looking for months and my area is a mental health wasteland) that i'll be starting in the near future! very excited to have that support in addition to the time and mental energy to work on my goals as far as ADHD/somatic depresh goes

i've also had the mental energy to pick up other forgotten hobbies and projects that i found fun, including Cult Book Club, which has been making me really happy. i'm almost done re-filming Jill Rod's book and i'm on a library waiting list for Jinger's book and I borrowed a copy of my aunt's cult leader's book from my mom and have been making outlines. i've decided to move everything over to tiktok though, which i think is just a more conducive platform for me while i work on focus and attention. youtube felt like way more of a time-consuming production and TT has just been coming more naturally to me, but i'll post more about that later on here and youtube when i have it all together (i have saved the cultbookclub handle on TT though).

all in all i'm feeling a lot more happy and hopeful and excited to focus on myself for a bit. if you need a sign to quit a job that is making your life miserable, this is it!!!

[scarecrowmax]

misc. tag game...

Thank you for the tag @the-cinnamontography-is-amazing <3

a band you don’t like that many others do:

not technically a band but taylor swift. i just never really liked her music and i find her so overplayed that it's actually gotten to the point i get annoyed when i hear it played.

a childhood memory that you remember vividly:

one day i came home from school after we got to visit the school library and i borrowed the bailey school kids book about cupids and so when i got home i laid down on my top bunk and read the whole book and finished just in time for dinner and i was so proud of myself for finishing it so fast until i remembered it was gonna be a full week before we got to go back to the library

least favorite animal and why:

i don't necessarily have a least favorite animal but i guess small dogs? i just find them weirdly unnerving and so often they're so loud and badly trained and not washed often enough so they smell and i just don't really like them

hot fandom take:

just because someone/something is popular in the fandom it doesn't mean it/they're good. sometimes people or concepts just suck either in general or for your experience and it's fine to not interact/block/not consume that content if it isn't doing it for you.

do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

i wear a ring on each hand every day and i wear earrings and necklaces sometimes too. i love my rings, my hands feel naked without them honestly, but my current favorite piece is probably a necklace i made out of a broken ring. it was an adjustable one and one side snapped off so i snapped off the other side, added a jump ring through an open part of it and added a chain. it's a spider holding a skull. its super fun and very different to a lot of my other pieces.

a movie others liked but you didn’t:

i'm not really a fan of the original evil dead trilogy. like the concept is cool but the humor, the stop motion animation, and a lot of the deadite makeup is just not really my taste. i do love the 2013 movie though. big fan of that one.

three things you love about yourself:

i've learned to be just okay at things and still have fun doing them, i have really pretty eyes, the fact i make a lot of things be it food or crafts or fandom stuff i just like making things

a place you hope to visit in the future and why:

i'd love to visit somewhere outside the us sometime because i never have before

an actor that gets on your nerves and why:

there's several and honestly it's either their energy or they did some fucked up shit and im tired of people talking about them. im not gonna name names though.

things you’re excited for in the nearby future?:

i'm gonna see a band I really like on the 17th of next month and it's gonna be so great because it's a small venue so I'll almost assuredly have a great view. plus tickets with service fees were $17.50 a piece which rocks. im spending more on gas to see them than on tickets which i find funny.

least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

i have zero interest in naming names here, i'll keep that in my exclude tags lists on ao3

what’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?:

i don't think i'm actually in any. i don't interact with shit like that because i'm in fandoms to have fun and enjoy shit so i stay out of drama and will block people who suck and then forget they exist

list three things you find beautiful about life:

people care about each other even when we don't know each other, there's a million little joys to be found in life, you can meet someone and have a great time together at an event and never speak again but you'll remember them fondly and do it over and over again.

any dreams for the future?

uhhhh, not really? I've never been a big dreamer. i'm a day by day girlie from way back

how are you really feeling today?

not too bad, i was good earlier but i played a couple video games too long earlier and now my ability to focus my eyes is a little screwy and I've got a bit of a headache

tag you're it if you're up for it @rossmccallsqueen @fromcrossroadstoking @tvserie-s-world

[mommy-mystic]

✨️2023 Bookish Questions! 📚🌟

📚 27 BOOK TAG QUESTIONS! 📖

❤️‍🔥All-Time Favorites & 2023 Mid-Year Tag!❤️‍🔥

I’m so excited to have found these lovely bookish questions. This year I've been reading more than I've ever read before and I'm really enjoying how wide the world is seeming to open up with every book I crack open!

Some of these questions are evergreen and some of them are geared more towards the books you've read so far this year! Feel free to answer them HOWEVER you see fit! (I'll leave the questions in a comment on this post!) Hopefully, they help you to learn a little bit about me as a reader and inspire you to pick up a new book this year!

1. Hardback or Paperback 📖

Paperback! 100%. Paperback books are the most comfortable to hold and read, the easiest to borrow or lend to a friend, the lightest to carry around/travel with AND the cheapest! Plus, you can bend and crack your own paperback copies to hell and back and who is going to stop you? However, I will say that the handful of paperbacks I've borrowed from the library this year have just made me SO NERVOUS. I just feel like they're so delicate and that I can crack them as wide as I would do to my own copies bc I'm just afraid they'll like look worn when I return them? Lol. In that circumstance, sometimes borrowing a hardcover is best!

2. Favorite Book You've Read This Year? 📚

Wow, it's got to be a tie between The Thorns Remain by JJA Harwood, Cackle by Rachel Harrison, Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno Garcia, AND of course, The Bone Orchard by Sara A. Mueller.

3. Least Favorite Book You Read This Year? 😔

I reread the Twilight Saga this year - they help me cope, I guess? So I have got to say Eclipse and Breaking Dawn are so insanely whack. Why have I done this to myself so many times?

4. Love Triangles: Yes or No? 👎

No. I mean, why? I understand having some resentment or jealousy or self-consciousness between a character and their partner's ex but... as a plot device? No thanks!

5. The most recent book you just couldn’t finish? 😢

:( I couldn't finish Unnatural Magic by CM Waggoner. I'm a bit put off by the troll/human romance brewing right now and the character POV switching is not my cup of tea but I might still decide to pick it up at another time.

6. A book you’re currently reading? 📖

I'm currently reading The Weaver and The Witch Queen by Genevieve Gornichec! I just picked up this new release at a local bookstore in Edwards CO and it's already so exciting, magical, and just alluring! Set in 10th century Norway, I think - against the backdrop of these viking-raiders/communities and these 3 women trying to make lives for themselves/protect one another... I'm really intrigued.

7. The last book you recommended to someone? 👩‍🍼

I'm a mom so I like to recommend parenting books to my other mom friends! I've given away a copy of The Danish Way of Parenting and suggested Balanced and Barefoot to another friend! Someone recommended I read Bringing Up Bébé and I LOVED IT & it will now forever be among my new mom recommendations.

8. Oldest book you’ve read by publication date? ☠️

Surely, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. Pride and Prejudice, then Persuasion by Jane Austen are some of the next oldest and then The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde would be among the most RECENT of the oldest published books I've read - that I can remember!

9. What is the newest book you’ve read by publication date? 🌟

The Thorns Remain by JJA Harwood (published Jan 2023, read in May 2023) A Novel Proposal by Denise Hunter (published Feb 2023, read in July 2023) and currently The Weaver & the Witch Queen by Genevieve Gornichec (published July 2023, reading now in August 2023)!

10. Favorite author? 🩷

The writing of Silvia Moreno-Garcia has absolutely captivated me this year... I think I may end up picking up a 3rd book by her soon!

11. Buying books or borrowing books? 📚

I CANNOT afford to be buying many books! Lol. I have loved visiting my local libraries, listening to free audiobooks on the Libby app, and borrowing books from my family members! It rocks having your own copies sometimes (especially of kids books for my daughter), but truly, I don't love the clutter, the price tag, or feeling guilty about spending money on a book I didn't end up loving!

12. A book that you dislike that everyone else seems to love? 🫣

Everyone bought I'm Glad My Mom Died (even my husband) and no shade to anyone for their fascination with wanting to read it and learn more about the dark topics explored in that book, but I knew it wasn't for me. I've read tons of celebrity/comedian memoirs in the past and I am very turned off to them now! I may be hypersensitive to intense subject matter that's so realistic... However, I tend to find very niche books in this category interesting. I loved On Her Knees by Brenda Marie Davies, for instance! Not nearly as popular, but much more relatable and resonates more with me personally. I was prepared mentally/emotionally for this book and I felt really connected to the author instead of just voyeuristically consuming her deeply personal stories... if that makes sense!

13. Bookmarks or dog ears? 👀

Tell me why I never have enough bookmarks! I need to make more on my cricut! But usually bookmarks. Although I will dog-ear my personal paperback copies about 25% of the time!

14. A book you can always re-read? ❤️‍🔥

Pride & Prejudice!

15. Can you read while hearing music? 🎶

NO! I love silence ... a little white noise maybe! Quiet is hard to come by as a WFH toddler parent but when there is silence, you just RELISH in it! I think that's one of the reasons I took up reading this year, because it's such a quiet, soothing activity!

16. One or multiple POVs? 🤼‍♂️

I prefer a single POV! But I'm okay with 2 MAXIMUM, as long as the characters know each other from the first several chapters and aren't completely separate with dual storylines!

17. Do you read a book in one sitting or over multiple days? 🪑

Multiple days! Absolutely! Maybe even a week or two. At most a month! (although it can take me a year to complete some nonfiction books bc I tend to read them in little doses!)

18. A book you’ve read because of the cover? 🫧

I'd bought The Thorns Remain by JJA Harwood because of the cover! It honestly rocked! Same with Cackle by Rachel Harrison. ANOTHER ONE THAT ROCKED! I was in a very witchy mood this spring! It paid off!

19. Biggest disappointment? 🤮

😞 Small Town, Big Magic. Listened to this on audiobook. It was sold as this Gilmore Girls-esque witchy fantasy but the conflict was so weird to me! I was disconnected from the main character bc as a 30-something y.o. she had seriously never pursued ANY romantic interest at all prior to the story. I would have loved if it revolved more around her bookstore she ran but I discovered that books where the entire town is MAGICAL/a community of witches is not as my speed as maybe 2-3 characters encountering magic on the DL. I also felt this way about From Bad to Cursed by Lana Harper, though that was one was written exceptionally well.

20. Biggest surprise? ✨️

I just finished the Midnight Library after shying away from it for the last couple of years. After reading some mixed/less-than-stellar reviews, I had no idea if it would be for me... after the first couple pages I'd thought the book was going to be too sad/traumatic for me to be okay with BUT I ENDED UP REALLY LOVING IT! I loved the concept, the philosophy intertwined in it, and the ending!

I also loved the audiobook for The Diamond Eye by Kate Quinn! I had no idea how wonderful it would be! Historical fiction about Lyudmila Pavlichenko, the female Soviet sniper who killed 309 nazis in WW2. It was so riveting and just... amazing. 👏

21. Favorite new author. (Debut or new to you)? ✍️

Sara A Mueller - her debut with The Bone Orchard was mind-bending and incredible.

Also just read my first Taylor Jenkins-Reid novel - After I Do, & I ended up really loving it! I was really rooting for the main characters and which I wasn't expecting!

22. What is your newest fictional crush? 🌶

I was a little bit in love with the Fae Lord in The Thorns Remain.... especially as he is gaining these flickers of humanity throughout the story... I almost believed that the main character was going to take him up on his offer to join his fae world in exchange for the safe return of her friends. However, the ending was MUCH better than that! I just appreciated how alluring and powerful this character was portrayed as. If this WERE a romance, it would have been incredibly toxic, but as my own little fantasy crush? WHY NOT?! I'd love to read about more characters with this vibe.

23. What is your newest favorite character? ❤️‍🔥

Charm from The Bone Orchard. She was so strong, so powerful, and the way she was able to DIVIDE her personalities and memories among these scientifically lab-grown ladies in order to cope with her reality was insane. She was like a queen. A steampunk queen. Always rocking the sexiest Victorian gowns and brightly candy-colored hair. I'm obsessed with her!

24. A book that made you cry? 😭

I was sobbing uncontrollably near the end of Beach Read by Emily Henry. (SPOILER: It was when she found the letters from her dad.) I didn't imagine a fun little summer romance would move me so much with that part of the plot. It hit me in the feels as a parent & a daughter myself, I think!

25. A book that made you happy? 🥰

After I Do by Taylor Jenkins-Reid ACTUALLY surprised me with its happy ending. It made me feel hopeful about marriage/long-term relationships and it's so hard to find stories that are honest about that! It is so easy to find books about failed marriages, and NEW love, right?! But what about those 10+ year-long relationships! I haven't been in one myself, but I aspire to it, and it was sweet to find a story that explored that!

26. What is the most beautiful book you've bought this year (or received)? 🌄

The most beautiful book this year, I actually borrowed from the library! It was Midnight at the Tuscany Hotel by James Markert! The cover was gorgeous, but it was also so vivid and beautiful with scenes depicting a past timeline in 1880s Italy and 1940s California coast. It was DREAMY.

27. What books do you need to read by the end of the year? 📚

By the end of this year, I would love to finish my current read The Weaver & The Witch Queen. (That will put me at 30 books for the year - meeting my Goodreads goal!) But ideally, I think I would also like to read Jane Eyre for the first time, reread Pride & Prejudice, purchase few books about motherhood/second babies (my new kid is due in November!), and I am finally emotionally ready to finished SELLOUT - the nonfiction about early 2000s rock bands my husband bought me in 2021.

THAT'S IT!

Thanks so much for bearing with my rambling little bookish blog. It has been such a wild/good year.

I'm really looking forward to doing one of these tags with my husband soon to kind of touch base about what we've both been reading/enjoying and YEAH! I hope to keep reading your book tags and bookish blogs as well!

These particular questions were inspired by DiniPandaReads and the classic #midyearbooktag! Thank you so much!

[iviarellereads]

The Plan, Such As It Is

tl;dr: System Collapse finishes the Murderbot series on Christmas. Last week of the year is a break, and then it's the Wheel of Time with likely between-book breaks for one-offs or shorter series, and someday maybe Alecto the Ninth.

I had a great time watching Desert Bus, and helping with the VST documenting and editing and uploading clips of the process of raising over a million dollars (over ten million in the lifetime of the event!) for a good cause. A most excellent week of "restoring my faith in humanity". But that's a little beside the point of this post.

I also got my hands on System Collapse, but because of how my brain works, I won't be reading it ahead, so we're going to have lots of fun as I read it for the first time in the format of the blog. Let's see if my style changes, if my predictions are well on or off the mark. (I have seen a few posts that spoiled a few moments and character bits, but I'm not concerned about those. I rarely feel like learning things that happen "ruins" anything about an experience anyway. If the story's well told, it's still fun to experience for myself.)

After System Collapse, well, that's the end of Murderbot to-date. And, I haven't run any polls for covering other things. That's because I'm pretty well set on rereading the Wheel of Time series, and revising my previous notes to this format.

It's something I could keep putting off, but the show has gotten so good, and it reminds me of all the things about the books that I loved so much (and how the show is fixing some things I didn't love). I'll also be very excited to do full-series spoiler posts again, Murderbot didn't have a lot that I felt needed commenting on, but the Wheel? Oh, buddy.

But, the caveat here is that the Wheel of Time has, well, fifteen very large books. Eleven thousand pages, over four million words. Coverage would take about three years if I didn't take breaks for other books in between, and I definitely will, so we're gonna be here for a while. I've said before that I was hesitant to cover Discworld for this, and I still am. Discworld has over forty books just in the main series besides the spinoffs, with a comparable total wordcount to WoT. Several of those, I have negative interest in ever rereading. Even if they're largely shorter than WoT bricks, they're also trickier to split, and I won't have as much context to share about them that isn't available elsewhere already. Whereas, the Wheel of Time lacks a lot of spoiler-free resources in print, despite the series being almost 35 years old. There was a huge influx of podcast coverage once the show publicity ramped up, but not so much blog style content. The few prologues and chapters that do need splitting, I've already calculated out from the first time I took the notes.

Mind you, I will be finding time for Alecto the Ninth coverage when Tamsyn Muir finally graces us with her presence, I'll just take a break between whichever WoT books I'm up to by then. And if something else strikes my fancy, I might alternate books. Like, making it through the Eye of the World might scratch the itch well enough, and make me want to dig into the Princess Bride as I threatened to once before, or perhaps when I reach my least favourite sequence of books in the middle, I'll alternate them with the His Dark Materials trilogy, though probably not its supplementary later materials because I'm still refusing to read the Book of Dust.

I totally understand if folks who followed me for other stuff want to jump ship when my WoT coverage starts. I love and can recommend it with some massive content notes and caveats which will be in my intro post for it, but it's not for everyone and treating it like a universal joy is nonsense. But, especially if you can get a library borrow of the first book, whether you get it in print or ebook or either of the incredible audiobook narrations (the full series by Michael Kramer and Kate Reading, or the first three are now available narrated by Rosamund Pike, who plays the character of Moiraine Sedai on the show), I hope you'll give it a try with me, and my analysis and commentary might help pull you into a series that's otherwise quite intimidating.

So, System Collapse will finish posting on Christmas, I think I'll take the last week of the year as a breather, and the Wheel of Time will kick off my 2024. I hope you'll consider sticking around and reading with me, especially my Locked Tomb girlies because I've said it before and I'll say it again, these two stories have SO much in common, hashtag Women's Wrongs and unreliable narrators. And, I am gonna try to break it up every so often since these are LONG books, most of them have 40+ chapters so will be two months apiece. But either way, if I'm gonna follow my heart, it's gotta be next.

[bethnalgreen]

The Preston and Child Books

Welcome to my corner of Tumblr, and my first-ever post. Sorry about the length!

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

I can't even remember when I first read "Relic," the first novel in what became the Pendergast series by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. It was probably sometime in the 1990s. I do have specific memories of reading "The Cabinet of Curiosities" in the summer of 2002. My sister and I had just moved to New York City, and I was working at Barnes & Noble. You could borrow any hardcover book from B&N to read as long as you put a protective book cover on it. I spent several late nights reading it in our sublet, scared half to death and definitely entertained.

For the next six years, I was a passionate fan of these books. I even managed to snag an audiobook version of "The Book of the Dead" before its official release date (not from B&N) because I was going to be on a plane that day and wanted desperately to read it ASAP.

It's hard to believe that's been almost 15 years ago. I'm still reading the P/C books, and looking forward to them, but I've found myself increasingly disappointed in them.

I don't want to just dump on them. I write for fun but have never finished a story, and I truly applaud the imagination and dedication evident in even the books I truly dislike. (And there have been a few. I give every P/C book a second chance, but it doesn't always make me like it more. The novels I love have been read at least half a dozen times.)

The sticking point for me in the last half-dozen books or so has been the character of Constance Greene (she's so special she can't just be a Green, she has to be a Greene.) She's like a female version of Agent Pendergast, minus the empathy, charm, and any other personality trait that makes him tolerable.

Pendergast can be a pill, that's for sure. But I always manage to root for him, because he does occasionally show signs that he's human. Constance may as well be a robot ... actually, that could explain a lot. Pendergast's outrageous intellectual and physical feats can be explained to some degree by his wealth, his education, his experience in special forces, and his FBI training.

Constance, on the other hand, was picked up off the street at age six by a sociopath. He molded her into exactly what he wanted in a companion. She had more than a century to practice the harpsichord, study languages (Gaelic, really? How convenient), and read hundreds of books on esoteric subjects. She apparently never left the house during that time, which is why her physical feats really beggar belief.

As much as I like "The Book of the Dead," this crap with Constance started then. She'd been a long-term shut-in, but she somehow was able to track Diogenes all around the world, get the better of him in Florence despite his meticulous planning, and outthink him on the slopes of Stromboli.

From there, it's only gotten worse. She's become an "all-knowing ninja," to quote someone on Reddit. She can fire a machine gun after watching (with ill-concealed boredom, no doubt) a man show off the weapon for a few minutes. She can swim, even though she couldn't just a few weeks earlier. She becomes an adept at Chongg Ran after a few lessons (of course she does!).

And what makes it all worse is this gross quasi-romance that's taken up too much time in the series. Constance has convinced herself that she's in love with Pendergast, and she won't take no for an answer. (He's told her "no," with words and body language, more than once.)

If Pendergast has to have a romantic partner, doesn't he deserve better than a short-tempered, monomaniacal sociopath? This woman threatened to kill him in "Blue Labyrinth" for reminding her about her dalliance with Diogenes, then planned her own suicide as he lay dying in the hospital. She saves his life because she's obsessed with him and is dependent on him.

I haven't yet read "The Cabinet of Dr. Leng" -- given how Constance-centric it sounds, I've decided to get it from the library instead of spending my hard-earned money on it -- but I'm hoping the trilogy is a way to gracefully get rid of her. Have her fall for a man back in the 1880s and stay there. Hell, have Diogenes pilot a spaceship from Area 51 back into the 1880s and whisk her off to Mars!

She's taken up enough space in this series. Please, guys, just ditch her already ...

Favorite P/C Novels

Relic, Thunderhead, The Cabinet of Curiosities, Still Life with Crows, The Book of the Dead, Fever Dream, White Fire

Least Favorite P/C Novels

Brimstone, Cemetery Dance, Crimson Shore, Obsidian Chamber, City of Endless Night, Crooked River, Bloodless

[its-a-bi-guy]

Gender Queer

Just finished reading Gender Queer, a graphic novel by Maia Kobabe/@redgoldsparks and wow! It was absolutely fantastic and I'd recommend checking it out (I borrowed a copy from my local library - which may or may not be difficult for you depending on where you live. It's one of the most requested books to ban in the US).

There were a lot of it that felt deeply familiar in a way I wasn't really expecting, and in ways that are kind of hard to describe. It's odd seeing something that shows you that the weird unknowable *weirdness* you felt as a kid wasn't just you!

One page that really jumped out at me was this one

It felt like a conversation I've had with myself several times.. the "Oh it doesn't really bother me.. just a little wince when I get included with 'men' I don't want to bother people and make things difficult...". Having come out to most people I care about in the last month or so, hearing people use they/them when they refer to me is so much better than just grinning and bearing it!

Reading the whole book has left a memory stuck in my brain from when I was kid starting puberty. I grew up in the deeply religious US south (Georgia) - and at some point during the early 2000s I was in the car with my dad (I was homeschooled) and we were listening to Rush Limbaugh (may he rot in hell) on AM Talk Radio and he was going off about "men who think they are lesbian women trapped in a male body". This was my first exposure to the very concept of transgender...

I remember turning to my dad and saying that I was a lesbian trapped in a boys body. Maybe it's the mind of a child, or maybe it's just the mind of a non-binary person without the language to understand themselves but to me.. at that age.. I broadly saw a straight man, and a lesbian woman as being mathematically the same. Maybe something like equivalent fractions?

It's a deep over simplification, but I was like 12 and learning algebra. It didn't occur to me that someone could strongly feel like a Man or a Woman (and there certainly wasn't any information about not being one or the other), so that particular variable (ones own gender) seemed like one that could be reduced to 'x' and the 'math' would work the same either way!

What I thought I was saying was "Hey, look at this interesting symmetry in the world!", but the reaction was significantly stronger than I anticipated... I was told in no uncertain terms that such things were impossible in the tone of voice usually reserved for times I badly fucked up some rule I was unaware of. Having Upset The Adults again, I quickly managed to convince my dad (and myself, tbh) that I was just joking and misunderstanding what was being talked about. And we never talked about it again!

Smash cut to *25 years later* and I'm a non-binary adult in a long term committed relationship with another non-binary adult and my dad is serving life in prison.

I don't really have a moral or a point to this story. I wish I'd been able to keep a journal when I was that age so that I could look back on it now with my adult eyes and understanding - but I knew instinctively that it wouldn't be a safe place to put thoughts I wasn't comfortable with my parents reading.

[ragnar0c]

For context, here's books I've been reading/ have checked out. (Since I keep vaguely mentioning them) I read kind of slow, but I'm just trying to do it more!

A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking is the one I've gotten the farthest through (about 40%). It's cute, with lots of worldbuilding and suspense and even though the main cast is small they're really memorable. Especially the main character, her inner dialogue is so silly and relatable I often read to see what silly things she'll say even in the worst situations!

The Hobbit is the book I read the second most of (like 30%). Picked it up because I heard it written like bedtime stories, episodes almost. It's what I wanted to try, and it's a classic so i started it. And i have to say the first and second chapters had me giggling SUPER HARD.

Legends and Lattes I just started today, but it might be my favorite. A low stakes fantasy book that's queer, and focuses on an orc who wants to make coffee (something unheard of)? 😭 I got 10% through in like an hour. I mean, I usually read a chapter the day I borrow a book, but I read 2 for this one and wanna keep going but i have to finish A Wizard's Guide to defensive baking before it's due next week!!!

I get so much Gideon the ninth fan art on all my feed. So much. I think Gideon herself is really cool and she's the one who inspired me to start buffing up my women. I didn't get far I the book yet though. Love her inner monologue! I am just... slow and will probably have to get back to this one when my brain fog lifts up and my comprehension is better.

Bonus

My library has a few books from my childhood I never got to finish reading due to... them being from libraries and constant moving as a kid. So also started The Magic Thief and all over to feel like a kid again- and plan to read the Secret Series all the way thru so I can see what I missed when I was in the 5th grade 💀

Got like 25% thru magic thief but.... waghhh... my other books expire so soon and I wanna try reading the higher leveled/ more in demand books before I finish it. Some of these books I had on hold for several months so I gotta read good and fast.

Mainly reading to entertain myself but if I like a sentence structure I put it in my pocket for later. >:] I also have been reading writing help books because why not. I'll just pick up any kind of those books though SOOO haven't listed them.

[justmybookthots]

Six of Crows

4/5 stars

After two years (ish) I have finally finished Six of Crows. Uh, that is not to say that I really sat there and read page after page for years. What I really mean is that I borrowed the library book, tried to read it, but got bored midway. My brain was really tired of its world-building, among other things. I also tried to read an e-copy of it but that was met with spectacular failure. So I stopped trying for ages. 

Anyway. Fast forward about a year or so and I have started reading fantasy books, heralded by my obsession with Cruel Prince (though Serpent and the Wings of Night is technically what started it). NOW, I tell myself, I'm ready for SoC. It's been sitting pretty on my TBR-fantasy shelf ever since I started reading fantasy again.

I don't know if the past months of reading fantasy books have kind of equipped my brain for its world-building or something, because this time, chapters are much, much easier to digest. I'm actually following what's going on. Maybe my attention span is also a bit better. 

Whatever it is, it gets me through the first chapter (which was… kind of a weak opening, but that's just me), and soon enough I'm storming through the subsequent ones. 

I have so many thoughts about this book. My enjoyment level was kind of tumultuous—I went from hesitant to really enjoying the banter to getting a bit bored at certain parts once they broke out of the prison, then felt my enjoyment (hmm… maybe engagement is a better word) picking up again when Nina encountered Brum. I was screaming, it's a trap! But she fell for it anyway. 

I'm generally not very good with stories that are setting-heavy—meaning a lot of the plot circles around navigating through places and secret bridges and tunnels and so on. And for a heist, it is so important to know what the setting is like and how they work around it. So I won't lie; parts of my brain switched off a little at certain stages. I will need to do a reread on those sections to better figure out what's happening, like how swimming through the water led Kaz, Matthedious—as I like to call him—and Nina out to the other side. I mean, I think I know, but I was very tired at that point so I still wanna reread to be sure.

I also was not a huge fan of the flashback dump in the middle of the story. Nina, after healing Inej? Flashback! Matthedious, brooding in the boat? Flashback! 

I think flashbacks could do better when it fits the plot—like Kaz fainting because of too much physical contact and then getting his flashback on what caused it was much more fitting on Leigh's part, imo. 

So my biggest two issues are the placement of flashbacks and the heaviness on setting, but I 100% know the latter is my problem, so the former is technically my only valid point. 

NOW—to what I enjoyed.

The characters are great. I think the standout is obviously Kaz, who is my favourite character and who reminds me a lot of Artemis Fowl, but minus the techno stuff and assuming he was thrown into the Grishaverse. He's just terrific and I've always been a fan of smart, manipulative characters that are shown, not told, and there were definitely a lot of both here. But the telling was supported by the showing, which I so, so appreciate because this is not as common as it should be. 

Inej is my second favourite, tied with Wylan. That bitch is a motherfucking QUEEN, and she is just *chef's kiss*. Strong but not invulnerable, and also her not staying for Kaz in Ketterdam because she didn't care for anything less than what she deserved is EVERYTHING to me. I'm not sure what to make of her piety, though, but it plays off on Kaz nicely. Wylan, I just am partial to because I have a thing for soft boys with puppy faces and curly hair. And also I think he has a lot of potential which I hope will be explored in the next book. 

Also, Kaz roasting him SENT ME:

I'm fine with Jesper. He's all right. I didn't see the Fabrikator twist coming though. I was like, WHAT?? 

Now. For the characters who weren't all right for me; they range from I'm-not-sure-how-to-feel to pure dislike. Nina is the former, and based on my nickname for the last Crow, I think you can guess who's the latter.

I just do not understand Nina. Even until now I don't really have a full grasp of her character. At the beginning, she seems to really dislike Kaz's lack of moral fibre, based off her exchange with him:

But then not too long later, this happens:

I am just so confused by her, and while I was gasping aloud when she took the drug at the end to save everyone (made me respect her a lot), I still don't know what kind of person Nina is. She feels all over the place. 

I don't even want to talk about Matthedious. He's a man laden with prejudices and toxic masculinity, which, to be fair, is shaped by his upbringing, but he's just very narrow-minded and stupid. Anything he can't understand, he dubs them as witch, or demon, and so on. He's just an angry oaf. I don't know what to say. There's really nothing much to say about him, though I do want to add that his character arc was extremely unconvincing for me. 

A plot point I really enjoyed in this book: Jesper using his Fabrikator skills on that diamond and Wylan building a drill with said diamond, then Inej breaking in to take that tank. Love that she got revenge on Heleen in that moment, and also JUST LOVE THE TRIO for using all their skills as a team. I did not see the tank infiltration coming at all, and it was awesomeeeee. 

Another plot point, however, made me go, UHHHH:

KAZ. 🤢

Overall, a solid book. I loved most of the banter, though there are a few times when it falls flat. I was about to rate the story 3 stars midway through, but the later half really picked up and saved it for me. Also what is with that ending? To be fair, I did think it'd be too good to be true if they got the money, but I didn't expect Queen Inej to be taken?????

I'll probably start on Crooked Kingdom soon,  but who's to say? I just hope I won't start it two years (ish) later. 

- 22 July 2023

[kaitiedidslibrary]

Book 74 was a library book. I've been wanting to pick it up since I've enjoyed the author's other works.

It's a horror/mystery about an island that the main character is renting out. Weird stuff has been found by the renters. There's hex circles, bloody claw marks in the closets, etc. So she heads to the island with her niece to investigate. Once there, they're joined by her ex husband, his sister, their high school friend and her brother. Each excuse for them being there was flimsier than the last, but we needed a cast.

This one did not land. At all. The concept was interesting, and the start was fine. It was first person, which I don't tend to like, but I was interested in whatever was going on with the island. Then I realized the main character annoyed the fuck out of me, which sucked since it was from her perspective so I couldn't get away. It also had the self-insert author vibe a bit, especially with the "I'm a ~writer~, so I know better than you" moments. I know it probably wasn't meant that way, but it gets on my nerves.

The mystery was fine, but it felt like the mysterious happenings and questions weren't given long enough before the characters were trying to shove some explanation onto the reader, if that makes sense. Way too rushed in a lot of aspects like that.

There was some good suspense, and some of the body horror was quite good, but it spent way, way too much time on the will-they-won't-they second chance romance and the drama going on between them all.

Like this? This went on for so many pages.

And it wouldn't have been so bad if IT WAS ACTUALLY A DRAMATIC REVEAL. The ✨totally artful✨ concealment of the subject gave it away almost instantly, so every time they tiptoed around the subject- trying to not let the audience know- it felt insulting. There was literally a point where the MC and her ex were talking, and it did a fade to black, and then a "I can't believe she asked you that!"

Plus it just felt. How do I say this. Performative? In the explanation she's giving. The whole interaction just rings hollow, partially because the characters aren't well developed.

Another annoying passage. Idk, I just really, really didn't like her. She was such a doormat with everyone, and kept doing stupid shit. Too stupid to live.

AND ANOTHER THING. The whole "You're really my daughter" thing (besides being dumb) brought into question a whole bunch of stuff. You kept your rapists baby, kept in contact with his sister, and let them both on your island?

And you were fifteen. I know it was supposed to come off as self-sacrificial, but that kind of made me hate the sister. I don't care if you're infertile, you let your fifteen year old sister carry her rapist's baby to term just so you could have it??

I think it's because it's such a real and hard topic that using it in this kind of drama pisses me off and I get real heated about the characters 😅

The ending was.... Fine, I guess. I had to force myself to finish, and at that point, I was like, "fine, sure, the island was summoned somehow. Sure, the Scooby-Doo plot of someone trying to drive you to sell also happened. Why not". It was incredibly heavy-handed in the message, which came across as yet more telling-not-showing.

Not the worst book I've read, but I am glad I borrowed it instead of impulse buying it.

⭐⭐

[tryslora]

What I'm Reading Wednesday

I missed a week, so this week will cover everything I’ve finished, and then new ones started, since April 17th… time to catch up!

Physical Books:

The Marann by Christie Meierz - Finished this one up and I have a few quibbles with stylistic choices (might just be me and things I like/don’t like in writing styles) but I loved the world-building. It’s a romance at its heart, and it delves into the differences between humanity and an alien empathic culture.

Promises Stronger than Darkness by Charlie Jane Anders - I listened to the first two books in the Unstoppable trilogy but the audiobook hasn’t been available to borrow from the library so I decided to buy the whole trilogy now that this one was available in trade paperback. It’s interesting reading it because I still hear all the names/aliens in my head in the original voices (helpful, since I’m not sure I could pronounce some otherwise). But it’s also fascinating reading it directly after listening to her book on writing and style, because WOW I can see it even more. Charlie Jane Anders has created a wonderful world that I want to live in, a future that is complicated, dangerous, but also loving, and has so much progressiveness that I adore it. In particular, I love the Everyspeak—a translator that not only handles languages, but also includes the pronouns for every person (handy for the the character who is genderfluid, so no one misgenders them!). I love her world building, and I love watching how her characters have grown and changed over the course of these books. I really care about them, and I worry about how they’ll get through the big conflicts still coming as I’m about halfway through the book.

Ebooks:

Interzone issue 297 - I finished this one up fairly quickly. I need to remember that I have ebooks of most of my short story books on my shelf, because handheld reading is a lovely way to go through short stories. It’s interesting and makes me remember that I do not always enjoy things that appeal to others. Which is fine! Not all works are for everyone. 

Ivy & Bone by R.L. Perez - I do not remember how I came to own this ebook. It’s a Persephone and Hades inspired book, and I’m both intrigued and kinda “meh” about it. I think it follows a lot of beats that will make it very popular with people, but for me, the pacing on the enemies to lovers doesn’t work as well as I’d like. It is intriguing, though, as I said, and I’m looking forward to seeing how it ends.

Audiobooks:

Never Say You Can’t Survive by Charlie Jane Anders - This is the first writing advice book I have loved. I bought myself a physical copy so I can refer back to it, or reread essays when I need a pick-me-up. I’d also like to take a look at the exercises at some point in the future when I have the time (time, hah, that’s an entirely different post). I love her voice (both auditorially and authorially). I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a boost emotionally about their writing.

She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan - Oh my God, I love this book so far. I’m about 3/4 of the way through, and I’m listening to it a tiny bit faster than 1x but not much. This is a case where the audiobook has made a work more accessible to me. The language is lush and thick and exactly what would make me tap out if I were reading a physical book. Plus the length is daunting so an ebook definitely wouldn’t work (I like shorter ebooks, because the length somehow seems longer to me, dunno). I’m very much enjoying the story, the characters, oh, everything. I’m hoping I’ll be able to get the sequel relatively quickly once I finish it.

Manga & Graphic Novels:

The Complete Elfquest Volumes 2 & 3 by Wendy & Richard Pini - I finished Volume 2 and of course, rolled straight on into Volume 3 (thank you husband or buying all the volumes, I am stupidly happy to have them). Volume 2 includes both the Siege at Blue Mountain and Kings of the Broken Wheel arcs from the original run of the comic. Somewhere during the first, I reached a point where the comics were familiar, but not “I read this six times as a teenager” levels of familiar. Then in the second arc, I reached new content. After I was done reading it, I checked when it originally was published and it was 1990-92 which explains everything. I was very very broke after graduating from college and stopped buying comics, even though Elfquest was one of the few I’d still shelled out for as a broke college student.

By Volume 3, everything is new to me, and I am loving seeing this story continue. I get to hear both more about the past (the first part is a series of one shots set in different time periods) and the future. Watching the elves grow and change is a delight (although Cutter with “face fur” still looks so strange to me). Throughout the stories, the elves make big, hard decisions, and then deal with their consequences.

[kalisbaby]

My taste in literature is varied so sometimes I'll read something light and entertaining like a romance or a full on erotica and others I might read something introspective like poetry or informative and educational like nonfiction. Then for those moments of pure childlike joy I read something from my childhood. If I want something to submerge myself in for longer periods I read horrors or anthologies or author collections.

I've been trying to get into sci-fi but I've never enjoyed reading that as much as watching it. I got a few fantasy books on the shelf as well that I should definitely dive into one day.

Anyway point I'm tryna make lol is that I almost HAVE to change up genres when reading. Like I cannot read the same genre back to back to back cuz my brain will legit just reject that shit. And it matters if I'm watching something in the same genre as well. Since I've been watching and reading a lot of romance, my brain literally rejected this book I borrowed from my library. Like I barely got one paragraph in to the first page and my brain said DENIED!

So I returned it. Luckily it's an ebook and I can re-borrow it easily in the future. So now after I force myself to finish this poetry book before the return comes up (cuz I don't wanna spend another borrow on the same book, especially one I'm not particularly enjoying) I'ma try a different genre as a palate cleanse of sorts.

I was thinking about returning to my studies or maybe reading something political but I think my brain just needs something fun. I might read this Black vampire horror series that's been sitting on my shelf since last year. Yeah that might be fun...

[writer-citation-needed]

It may sound crazy, to want to live the same day over and over again with no end in sight. Hell, I would have even thought it was ridiculous before I ended up here. However, it's really not as bad as the movies make it seem. Consider the following:

My social anxiety is practically gone. Don't want to talk to someone? I already know exactly where nearly everyone in my town is at basically every single minute! At this point I can pretty much navigate social life like a video game- the dialog tree only reaches so far after all.

So much time to watch TV, movies, read books, listen to podcasts, etc etc. This one seems like a pretty obvious perk. There's a lot of great stuff I would have missed out on with the loop, plus with the state of media I doubt anything good will come after me.

Well, I was pretty lucky to have my loop on a day with no bills or appointments or any major responsibility, really. I hated being an adult. It's great being able to just chill (not to mention, no more periods!)

I woke up with a warm feeling across my face, a beam of sunlight having been gracing my features for some time now according to my phone. Before all of this time loop business I wouldn't have woken up past eleven AM, but I don't exactly have a shift to wake up for anymore (I thank myself every day for having taken the day off) so I don't feel the need to rise and grind per se. Besides, nothing around here opens until later in the morning anyways.

As I dress and wash my face (I'm not so far gone in the loop as to stop caring about my hygiene, although of course I've had my fair share of lazy days) I try to make my mental to-do list for the day, knowing I'll have to write it down after breakfast. I've really taken to journaling the past few months of the loop, since it allows me to keep a record of everything I've done and how long I've been here. Otherwise, I think it would all run together.

Alright, list time, I think.

Today's a good day to finish up that sweater; it's nearly done. Kara will like the surprise. When is she at the library? Wait no, she doesn't go to the library. I'm thinking of Milly. Crap. I think Kara's at home 'til three, so I can pop by if I can finish that up soon. Great!

I haven't gotten around to trying Grouch's strawberry latte yet, that would be a nice treat. I'm honestly shocked it's taken me this long to get around to their coffee, I didn't hate it that much before the loop.

Maybe then I'll finish up Drag Race Canada. There's only what, five more episodes? Psh. (Thank god for Rupaul's franchising. The only way you could watch all those seasons is if you were in a time loop.)

That sounds like enough for today. I'm exhausted from running around yesterday. Someone should have told me not to make a batch of soap without knowing fifteen other people that wanted it! Oh well, it probably made their nights.

After a nutritious meal of Eggos and peaches I got to work on that sweater. Crochet didn't take to long to learn, and luckily there's a million patterns online for me to work through. It's a good hobby for me. I do feel bad for the library stitch group's yarn that I keep 'borrowing' for all my projects though. Luckily they won't remember me asking by the time the sun rises again.

I do sometimes wonder what happens to the material things within the loop. People I get. They wake up exactly how they were the day before. Objects, though? I've never had anything mysteriously disappear at night, nor has something broken magically reformed during the loop. This sweater for instance- once I give it to Kara, what will happen to it? Surely it won't stay in her closet forever. She'd notice a handmade sweater randomly at the back of her closer and know it can't have just have shown up. Maybe the material gets recycled throughout the universe or something, I don't know.

Without realizing it, I came to the last stitch. It's a nice little garment, not really meant for this summer weather but would do quite nicely in October.

I shove the sweater in my good old tote bag and slip on my sneakers before embarking on my quest to Kara's neighborhood, right by the elementary school. Going out used to be unnerving with the deja vu feeling being unavoidable, but I've found comfort in it after all these days. It's a lot like Stardew Valley in my opinion, With the right timing, I know exactly where everyone will be and how they'll react to whatever I do to spice up the day. Even someone like Kara, who I had only spoken to a few times before the loop, is someone I now know inside and out. I can hear her reaction now, "When did you have time to make this? Just yesterday you said you were swamped with assignments. It came out lovely though. Thank you." She wouldn't even-

I lose my thought alongside my footing as I stumble on the sidewalk and fall flat on my face. At least the sweater blocked some of my body from the impact. I look back to make sure I didn't drop anything, but what I see confuses me more than anything that could have fallen from my bag.

A person.

On the sidewalk.

I know it doesn't sound like something that would warrant such a reaction, but you need to understand that there hasn't been a single person on this road in all the hundreds of days I've taken this route in town! That's why I go this way. So imagine my surprise to see a real, genuine human being curled up on the ground much like I am now after my graceful maneuver.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." The figure begins to say. Their voice pierces through my ears like when metal scrapes against itself. I wasn't meant to hear it. It's wrong. Why?

"Who are you?" I blurt instinctively. I don't recognize their tone, their accent, their vocal quirks.

"I'm Dell," they reply. A name I've never heard around these parts.

My guard goes up.

"I'm Lila."

"Again, I'm really sorry for making you fall. I hope you aren't hurt." I look closer at Dell's face. They really do look sorry. Maybe for more than just our collision. Their eyes look puffy, their hair unbrushed. To summarize: a wreck.

"It's okay. Nothing a bandaid can't fix." It sounds foreign coming out of my mouth- I've never said anything like that before.

I barely hear when they mutter "I wish a bandaid could fix all this."

Again, alarm bells. Why haven't I ever seen Dell here before? I can practically count the leaves on the trees after the number of times I've walked down this very road. Surely I would have stumbled into them (literally) one of these days. Still, I can sense that they have something more going on. I can't let myself treat the people around me like NPCs just because I (usually) know their every move.

"What's wrong? If you don't mind my prying." I've sat up at this point. We both face the road now.

"It's not something I can really explain."

"Dell, believe me when I say I am probably dealing with something weirder"

They sigh. "Okay. I guess it won't really matter anyways. You'll forget it too."

Dell thinks, choosing their words wisely.

"I just feel like- like I'm trapped. And the world keeps going on without me, and I can't figure out how to change it. Change anything."

My eyes widen. It makes sense now, their unfamiliar face, strange voice and sudden appearance in my once comfortably unchanged routine.

Dell's like me.

"Me too!" I say a bit too enthusiastically. Seeing their look of disbelief, I continue, "no, I really mean it. I've been here for a while. On this day."

It's Dell's turn for shock. "Really? You aren't messing with me?"

"Nope. If you want, I have proof." Dell nods. You open your tote bag and reach for your notebook (you've grown accustomed to taking it with you so you can take note of any creative ideas you have or interesting things to mark for the future). As you flip through the dozens of pages already filled, Dell's jaw drops.

"How long have you been here?" They ask meekly, like they don't want to hear your answer deep down.

"I only started keeping a serious record about five months ago but it was a while before I thought of it."

Dell frowns. "And you don't know how to end it?"

"I haven't tried. Honest, it's not so bad. Like reading the script for a play. Everything falls into place perfectly." I offer them my favorite upside.

"I just wanna go back. I miss my life. My real one. With unpredictableness and everything." Dell whimpers. They look like they're going to cry, and it makes them look younger than they already did. I hadn't thought of it before, but it's entirely possible that they're a child. It must be hard for them.

New item added to my to-do list: help Dell leave the loop.

I don't know if it's even possible, really. I certainly haven't thought about learning the lesson that landed me here. Why would I? I get to enjoy all the best parts of adulthood without any of the responsibilities. It rules. I try to explain this, but it falls on deaf ears.

"Don't you miss your family, Lila? Your friends?"

Another thing I hadn't thought much about. I had fallen out of touch with my friends after high school, and since moving away from my parents I don't call them much.

Huh. I haven't called them at all.

My stomach churns.

Dell can see the way my lips frown. "Lila?"

It must be harder with loved ones near you. Not celebrating holidays or good news or anything other than one day's set events. Not being able to tell them what's happening, or worse confessing to them and having them wake up the next morning with no clue of your situation. No one to turn to, no one who understands. Not a single unplanned moment.

"We'll get through this. I'll make sure." I take a deep breath. I don't know what to do for know, but I know that I'll be able to think better with some caffeine.

"Have you tried Grouch's before? It's a really good cafe."

Dell shakes their head. "My dad says they have terrible coffee."

I laugh. "I thought that too, but give it some time and your mind might change"

We stand up and I lead the way. The sweater can wait- I can just deliver it again tomorrow.

Now, I have a much more important goal.

I have to get out. For Dell. For myself.

You are stuck in a time loop, but you have no intention of ever breaking out of it. After literally millions of resets a new person appears in the loop and asks you why you are still in the loop.