#i been fighting this urge since release day and my shit had random cars doing break dances in the street

[adateur]

not me trying to finally immerse in cp.77 before the dlc drops & having to mentally fight the urge to write an asshole ?? i have written enough mean mfs ?? it's time to stop ??

[miyagihawk]

why’d you only call me when you’re high? pt. 2 | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader

part one

here’s part 2 by popular demand! based off the arctic monkeys song and amazing request by @deadbeatharlz <3 thank you guys for the support on part 1 im so happy you liked it :)

warnings: self harming behavior, LOTS of swearing, alcohol and drug abuse, sooo so angstyyyy buckle up

summary: it’s been 3 months since your last night with hawk, and you haven’t been yourself.

word count: 3,062



The past 3 months have been rough. Maybe the worst you’ve ever been. You fell into the deep hole that you dug yourself. The hole of loving Hawk Moskowitz.

You never thought you’d be one of those people who let unrequited love devastate their whole being. In fact you always thought the whole heartbreak thing was pathetic and melodramatic. Until it happened to you.

You hate yourself for letting him have this effect on you. But there’s a pestering voice in the back of your mind that reminds you: it’s all your fault. He didn’t ask you to love him. It’s just easier to blame him for your downfall.

Parties, drugs, alcohol. Sex with people you don’t even know. High on the same drug that compelled him to call you in the night.

You’ve become so desperate to forget him that you ruined yourself. It hurts your pride to be the whiny heartbroken girl who let a stupid boy’s rejection shatter her self worth. But the hole is too deep and there’s no hope trying to grasp onto the dirt walls to get out.

The worst part of it is that he sees it all. At school, (if you even go) he looks at you like the scum of the earth as he passes by with his little karate gang. When you end up at the same party, he’ll have a disgusted expression on his face and leave as if he can’t bare to look at you. 

Tonight is one of those nights, and you watch him from across the backyard as he goofs around with his friends. He hasn’t noticed you yet, hence why he’s even still here and not on his way out the door to get away from you.

“If you stare at him any longer, I think he’ll shoot up into flames,” your best friend Robby hands you a cup, and you don’t hesitate before downing its unknown contents. The burn in your throat makes you hum with content.

“That’s the plan,” you take your eyes of off Hawk to look at Robby. You gesture to his own cup in his hand, “Are you gonna drink that?”

“Easy there, Y/N. We got here 5 minutes ago,” he warns, but holds out the drink towards you anyway. Robby’s always been worried about you and your habits, but he knows how you can be when you’re told no.

You swallow down the drink in a few seconds, ignoring his remark. “5 minutes? I can beat my record!” you cheer sarcastically, and start walking to the kitchen in search of a keg. Robby follows closely behind you, a wary look on his face.

The fuzzy feeling starts to take over your body as you throw back drink after drink. It’s the buzz you crave every second of every day because it just makes you feel so good. Everything is happier and your cares feel so far away. Hawk feels so far away.

You sit on the couch next to Robby in your dazed trance, drunkenly rambling to him about random things. He glares at anyone who comes near you and looks like they would take advantage of you in your state.

Robby really hates you like this, but he can’t help but feel protective over you. He’s not even a fan of parties; he really only goes to keep an eye on you. You’re grateful even though you act like you hate it when he babysits you.

“Heyyy pretty Y/N! Want some?” Yasmine approaches where you sit, a joint held between her fingers. Her eyes are drooped and she sways as she stands.

You reach out to take the blunt, but you feel Robby push your arm down. “You’re already drunk. That’s enough,” he says sternly, making you roll your eyes.

“I can do what I want, Dad,” you taunt, and take the joint from Yasmine. Smoke fills up your lungs, immediately giving you pleasure. Robby just shakes his head in disapproval as the air around him becomes hazy.

“I’m going to the bathroom. Stay here,” he orders, getting up from the couch.

You nod, but of course, you don’t listen. The sound of splashing from outside sets off a lightbulb above your head and you feel like you’re floating while you walk to the backyard.

Right as you step out of the house, you make eye contact with none other than Hawk. He gives you a distasteful look like always, before turning back to his group. Asshole.

You just scoff and stumble towards the pool, where a couple is making out and a few people are drunkenly playing with the water like little kids.

Reaching the edge of the pool’s rim, you let yourself fall in with a splash. You feel the pressure in your ears start to build as you sink to the bottom. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re cross faded, but being underwater feels like a world of bliss.

The loud music of the party is muted, creating a sense of serenity. The legs of the other people in the pool make you laugh to yourself, sending bubbles from your mouth to the surface. It’s glittery and pretty and you want to stay forever.

You don’t know how long you’re under there for, but you don’t notice your lungs running out of air. It just feels good to be alone for a second. Next thing you know, you feel your eyes start to droop closed; a strange peace overcoming your body.

A loud thrashing noise in the water makes you wake up with a gasp. You swallow too much water as you feel someone grab hold of your arm. It’s all a blur and you’re being pulled up to the surface, taking you away from the tranquil world you were just in.

The music is pounds against your ears again and the air is cold on your skin. You feel your body being laid down on the concrete of the poolside, but everything feels numb. You just feel sleepy and you want to close your eyes again.

“Y/N, hey, wake up. Wake up,” a voice makes your eyes shoot back open. Someone is looking down at you, with a hand shaking your shoulder. Your vision is somewhat blurry, but the mohawk gives it away. It’s him.

You suddenly become aware of the large amount of water in your lungs and you turn over to your side to cough it up. After you get it all out, you notice the people at the party looking at you with eyes of pity mixed with judgement.

“What the fuck were you doing? You could’ve died, are you fucking stupid?” Hawk curses, but even in your inebriated state you can hear a hint of worry in his voice.

You sit up to face him. He looks angry; his clothes and hair are as wet as yours.

Maybe it’s the lack of oxygen in your brain, or maybe it’s the marijuana and alcohol, but you just feel the urge to laugh. So you do. Like a complete maniac. The way he probably just saved your life like he cares is sickly comedic to you.

His face twists in confusion as you break out into a fit of giggles. “Are you serious? You’re fucking insane, Y/N,” he gets up, shaking his head at you. He gives a glare to the people staring, and they look away in fear.

You think he’s going to leave like usual, but he surprises you by grabbing your arm to pull you up. People whisper amongst themselves as he drags you through the backyard, going through a gate that leads to front of the house. You trip over your own feet, still feeling dizzy from almost drowning, but he just pulls you along.

“What are you doing?” you ask, tugging on your arm to try and release it from the tight grip he has on you. You’re both dripping chlorinated water, leaving a track of drops on the concrete below.

“You’re going home Y/N,” he says sternly. You two arrive at his car and he opens the passenger door. “Get in.”

“Hey!” a voice yells from the house and you both turn to see Robby rushing towards the car. He looks pissed, and now you remember him telling you to stay put. Shit.

“Robby I-”

“Don’t get in there with him Y/N,” he says, sending a death stare to the boy next to you.

“I’m taking her home, Keene, so back the fuck off. Get in Y/N,” Hawk snaps, clenching his fists.

You keep quiet, not wanting to add to the fire already starting. They loathe each other; if not because of the karate rivalry, then because of you. To Robby, Hawk broke your heart and made you spiral. To Hawk, Robby is the piece of shit who he thinks is your boyfriend, and he won’t admit it but he’s jealous.

“You’re not driving her, asshole. You’re probably as drunk as her,” Robby reaches to take your arm, but Hawk pulls you back.

“You don’t know shit about me, Keene. I’ve been sober for three months, so yeah, I will drive her,” Hawk picks you up like you’re a doll, placing you in the passenger seat and closing the door. You don’t resist, you just feel tired and your head starts to pound as if the mix of drugs in your system are punishing you. The window’s down, so you can still hear the two boys loud and clear.

I’ve been sober for three months, his voice echoes in your head.

“Oh so now you care so much about her? It’s your fault she’s like this!” Robby raises his voice even more, starting to move towards Hawk threateningly. You begin to feel scared that a physical fight might actually break out, but you don’t know what to do.

“I’m not the one who almost let her die a few minutes ago, am I? Just fuck off, we’re leaving,” Hawk dismisses him, walking around the car to the driver’s seat. You’re surprised by his self control to not throw a punch, especially with his reputation.

“Robby, it’s okay. I just want to go home. I’ll call you, alright?” you reach your hand out of the window in reassurance and he takes hold of it. Hawk clenches his jaw as he turns on the engine.

“Promise you’ll be careful? I’m sorry I left you,” Robby furrows his eyebrows in worry. When he came out of the bathroom, someone filled him in on what happened to you and he almost had a heart attack.

“Promise. And it’s my fault,” you hook your pinky with his, before the car pulls out of the curb and separates you from your best friend. He watches you guys drive away, an anxious expression etched on his face.

The whole situation has sobered you up pretty well, and now you’re left with a throbbing headache, wet clothes, and awkward tension. You hate it. Being sober. You miss the foggy feeling that prevents you from thinking too hard about things. But now you’re inches away from the boy who broke your heart, all by choice.

You don’t know why you agreed to go with him, but did you even have a choice? You’re confused by his actions. He acts like he hates you but he jumps in a pool for you. He yelled at you but he’s driving you home. It all makes you overthink and it causes your head to ache even more.

You hold your head in your hands to try and ease the pain as Hawk drives quietly.

“You good?” he breaks the silence. His voice is softer compared to how he talked to Robby minutes ago.

“Head hurts,” you mumble.

“What were you doing back there? If I didn’t get you out, you’d probably be in the hospital right now,” he says. You peek at him through your hands and his eyes are on the road.

“I don’t know,” you sigh. “It was just peaceful. I didn’t really even think about breathing.”

He scoffs. “Well that’s just fucking stupid. You’re lucky I noticed you were under for so long.”

“Well thanks,” you reply quietly, feeling like a little kid being scolded.

There’s a couple beats of silence before he speaks, “What happened to you?”

The question makes you sit up and look over at him. “What are you talking about?”

“The old Y/N wouldn’t even touch a drink. You’re different,” Hawk taps his finger on the wheel in thought. His icy blue eyes quickly glance at your confused look before returning to the road.

“You happened, Hawk.” You pinch your temples in frustration. Anger starts to bubble up in your stomach at his criticism. At the mention of “old you”.

“I didn’t do this to you,” he shakes his head, as if trying to convince himself of his own words.

“You did,” you raise your voice, making him flinch. “You know it.”

“What, because I stopped sleeping with you? I didn’t make you fall in love with me, Y/N. You did that to yourself,” he spits, sending a knife to your heart and making you see red.

“You knew I loved you way before I said it. But you still stringed me along, didn’t you? You knew I would pick up everytime you called. You knew that I would let you into my bed because I was the girl who loved you no matter how fucking shitty you were!” you fire back, vomiting out words that you’ve wanted to say for months. The alcohol in your system makes you bolder than usual, but you’re grateful for it.

He’s at a loss for words at your outburst so you continue, “I didn’t ask for this Hawk. Loving you. I’m sorry that I’m such a burden and that you hate me so much that you can’t stand being in the same room as me. But please just answer me this and I’ll leave you alone forever. I’ll leave when we show up at the same party and I’ll even hide in the halls so you don’t have to see my face.”

You pause, choking on your words. You didn’t even realize that the car is already parked in front of your house and your clothes are halfway dry.

“Why don’t you love me?” your voice cracks as you spit out the question that has caused you to throw yourself away. The question with an answer that could dissipate your self worth in a mere moment.

Hawk finally looks into your glassy eyes with shock. He could’ve never anticipated what you asked him and his mouth runs dry.

“I told you, I- I don’t deserve someone like you loving me,” he swallows, but you shake your head.

“That’s not what I asked.”

He blinks slowly, trying to come up with an excuse. Any excuse, to avoid telling you the truth. You can see the inner conflict on his face, the panicked speed of his running thoughts.

“You should go home, Y/N,” he deflects, turning away from you. Putting on his mask to keep you from reading him like a book.

“I’m not going until you tell me,” you demand.

“Just get out of the car, fuck!” Hawk yells, slamming his hands down on the steering wheel. It makes you jump a little, but you’re too angry to fear the flames in his eyes.

“Why can’t you just tell me!” you fire back. “You came to me almost every night, so why do I feel something that you don’t? Is it me? Is there something wrong with me?”

“What do you want me to fucking say Y/N! That I do love you? Fucking fine. I love you. Is that what you wanted to hear? Just get out.”

I love you.

The same words you said that made him leave.

“You don’t even mean that,” you blink back your tears.

His voice is softer now, more gentle. “If I didn’t mean it then I wouldn’t have said it.”

“You said you needed me and then you left me,” your voice shakes and you hate how pathetic you sound.

“I-I didn’t leave you,” he stammers before taking a deep breath. “I left because you wanted something more than I could give you. I would’ve felt like a selfish asshole if we became more than just sex, Y/N. You deserve someone like Keene and yeah he’s a pussy but he’s good. Better than me.”

It feels like every piece in the puzzle is being put together. Everything makes sense. He does love you, but he was just afraid. He can’t be near you because it hurts too much to see someone he can’t have. Somehow, you can’t find the anger you’ve held against him for these past months; you just understand him now.

“I’m sorry, alright? For everything. For treating your feelings like shit. All of it.”

You swallow, thinking about his words. It all feels too much and the truth is now looking you in the eye, demanding an answer. You love him, but he dropped your heart on the floor for you to pick up every shard. Is one sorry going to magically fix everything?

“I- I don’t know what to say,” you admit, and he nods in understanding.

“You don’t have to say anything. Let’s just... move on. And you get better... I hate seeing you like this,” Hawk scans your red eyes and dilated pupils. “We’ll get to a better place and you and me, we’ll be good.”

It’s bittersweet, but he’s right. Being together now just because he loves you back would be a huge jump that would only end in broken hearts and toxic cycles. It would be foolish. As much as you want him, the only person who can fix you is yourself.

So it’s a meet up at the top of the mountain, when you’ve both made the journey from opposite sides.

“A better place,” you reiterate, before placing a light kiss to his cheek and leaving the car with a new sense of closure.

a/n: that was longer than i planned and a freaking roller coaster!!!!!!! im not sure if there should be a part 3? lmk what you think maybe it’ll just be short. but hehe i added robby into the mix he was so cute. ty for reading!

taglist for people who wanted part 2 :) ty friends for the support <3 @littlered6307 @deadbeatharlz @spiderman-berries @axastasiasstuff @r0-xie @estupidteen @hawkwhore @idkwhatishouldput4

[harvestleaves]

When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you: Chapter 2

Summary: Derek spends the day with Alex in the ER and the two have a heart to heart.

A/N: This chapter took a turn I wasn’t expecting to take it and is going to be pre-polyamorous relationship.  I’m not gonna say with who because I don’t want to spoil it, but I’m sure it’s pretty obvious.  @honeybee-babe​, enjoy part 2!  You can also read this on Ao3 here.

Rating: T

Word Count: 1,632

Alex found himself hooked up to an oxygen mask in the ER twenty minutes after Meredith led him out to the car with Dr. Shepherd in the chair next to the gurney, watching another intern try and stick him for an IV.

“Ow!  It’s an IV.  I’m not a damn pincushion you can just stab all willy nilly,” he hissed with a glare at the young blonde man.

“Sorry, you’re dehydrated.  Your veins are a little tough to get a line in,” the intern explained with a clipped tone as he finally got the IV inserted and a bag of saline hooked up.

“Dr. Shepherd, he’s probably going to be here for a few hours.  If you need anything, let me know,” the intern smiled at the neurosurgeon before shooting Alex a cocky smirk on his way out.

“Thank you.  You know you don’t have to be an ass to everyone that’s trying to help you,” Derek said to Alex with a teasing grin, the younger man giving him a glare in response.

“S-sorry, I just don’t like being poked and prodded,” Alex wheezed before another round of coughs caused him to lean forward.  He brought his left hand up to his chest to grip the gown he was wearing tightly in his fist as he tried to gasp at the air from the mask.

“Hey, try slowing your breathing down.  I know it’s tough.  But just focus on inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth,” Derek said as he reached out to hit the page button before he sat on the edge of the gurney, his right hand rubbing soothing circles onto Alex’s back.

Alex made a choked sound before he nodded rapidly, squeezing his eyes shut as he focused on Derek’s voice.  He inhaled at the command before holding the breath for a few seconds, letting the motion calm his rapid heartbeat before he shakily exhaled.

“That’s it, slow, deep breaths.  They’re gonna start you on a breathing treatment to get this attack under control and then send you for a chest x-ray so see what’s going on in those lungs of yours,” Derek explained gently as the intern came back into the room with a nurse to start the medication for Alex.

“We’re gonna give him an albuterol treatment and then check on him in an hour to see how well the meds are doing,” the intern explained as he handed Alex the nebulizer, guiding the misting mouthpiece up to the surgical intern’s lips.  “Deep breaths of that.  I’ll be back in fifteen minutes to check on you.  Don’t die while I’m gone,” he smirked with a wink to Alex, his hand resting an extra moment on the other man’s shoulder before he headed out of the room.

“Someone seems to have a crush on you,” Derek teased with a smirk to Alex, watching the younger man in amusement as he blushed, though the fevered flush masked it rather well.

“Yeah, he’s cute, I guess,” Alex mumbled around the nebulizer mouthpiece before his eyes widened at what he said before he immediately focused on the blanket over his lap.  Avoiding Derek’s gaze, Alex started to play nervously with a loose thread, feeling the older doctor’s eyes on him the whole time.

“You know your friends aren’t gonna care if you like guys too.  Or just guys.  Meredith and the others really care about you.  I don’t think you could do anything that would keep them from loving you like family.”

Alex blinked back a few tears at Derek’s words, quickly wiping them away with the back of his hand before he took another shaky breath of the medicine.  He couldn’t cry.   Because he knew that crying would only make his asthma attack worse, which was the last thing he wanted.

“Shit.  Don’t cry.  I’m sorry if I brought up a sensitive topic for you.  You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.  And if you do, just know I’m here to listen,” Derek explained softly as he ran his hand over Alex’s upper back once more.

Alex squeezed his eyes shut before he shakily inhaled through his nose once more to compose himself, practically able to hear his heart pounding from nerves.  “I h-haven’t really let myself deal with those feelings yet.  It’s a lot easier for me to just shove those feelings down and sleep around with random chicks who I don’t actually care about.”

“That makes sense, especially since you’ve been hurt by people before. Let’s finish this conversation after all the albuterol gets into your lungs.  If you’re talking, the meds might not work as well.”  Derek smiled reassuringly at Alex, keeping an eye on the oxygen monitor to make sure Alex wasn’t wearing himself out by talking during the treatment.

Alex nodded tiredly before he settled back against the pillows on the gurney, fighting the sudden urge to lay his head onto the neurosurgeon’s shoulder.

He was feeling very relaxed by the older man’s presence and considering he didn’t have many friends, let alone many male friends, it made Alex nervous.  But Derek had the same effect on him that Meredith did.  The strong silent presence that made him feel completely safe and protected, a feeling he was not used to having, so allowing himself to be cared for was scary.

“Just rest.  I’m right here.  I’m not going anywhere,” Derek whispered softly as he watched Alex start to doze off at the end of the breathing treatment, watching the other intern return to change the mask back to an oxygen one before the intern turned to Derek.

“Look, Dr. Shepherd, I’ve heard some things about him from the nursing staff.  But I think Dr. Karev is cute, and if he does somehow swing my way, can you give him my number?” the intern, who Derek mentally noted was named Jason, asked, holding out a piece of paper.

“First of all, he is your patient at this moment, so this is kind of inappropriate.  And second, he’s working through some things.  However, after he is released and he figures everything out, I might give him your number. After I let his friends interrogate you of course,” Derek said curtly, slipping the piece of paper into the pocket of his coat as Jason’s eyes widened before he quickly ducked out of the room. Mumbling something about coming back in an hour to give Alex another treatment after he’s sent for his chest x-ray.

“Thank you.  And you’re right.  I do close myself off because people have let me down.  I’ve always had to be the strong one for my family, so I don’t know how to ask for help.  And I’ve never had the opportunity to think about my own issues.  The fact that I push away male friendships.  I’m scared because what if I develop feelings for one of them and that friendship is ruined,” Alex whispered softly to Derek as he heard the door click shut.

“It’s easier to have female friends.  Especially ones I don’t have feelings for.  All they want is a guy that will listen to their problems and occasionally hook up with them.  It’s easy,” Alex laughed bitterly, the laughs turning into coughs as Derek adjusted the gurney, so Alex was elevated more.

“Hey, you’ve got male friends now.  You’ve got O’Malley?” Derek offered with a smile as he rubbed Alex’s back, reaching down to squeeze the younger man’s hand.  “And you’ve got me.  I don’t care if you like men, or women, or both.  I’m your friend, and you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

“I like both.  I’ve only had relationships with women, though.  But there is a guy I might like.  It might not be that intern, though,” Alex admitted as he dropped his gaze back to the blanket.

“What’s holding you back from asking this guy out then?  Other than you not being out?” Derek asked curiously with a tilt of his head, looking up with a smile when Meredith popped her head into the room.

“Hi!  How’s Alex doing?  Am I interrupting something?” Meredith asked curiously as she looked between Derek and Alex, smiling at Derek’s hand still over Alex’s.

“No.   You’re not.  Everything is fine.”

Alex quickly pulled his hand back from Derek’s as he looked between the two, scrunching his nose up in annoyance as he looked away.

“We were just having a pretty intense talk.  I was gonna tell Alex here that he’s not the only one who’s ever had a crush on his friend,” Derek explained with a kiss to Meredith.

“Ahhhhh, like your past relationship with Mark?” she teased him with a grin as he rolled his eyes in mild annoyance at his girlfriend.

“Yes, don’t remind me that my ex-wife and I had similar taste in men.  I try not to think about that,” Derek sighed with a laugh.

“Wait, you and Dr. Sloan?  But he’s such an ass.”

“He wasn’t when we were younger, and we dated.  Nowadays, yeah, he’s pretty cocky,” Derek nodded in amusement before he turned back to Alex.

“What I was going to say before Meredith came in though, was that you also don’t have to just date a single person.  Multiple people can be in a relationship together.  Which I what Addison, Mark, and I were in college.  Mer, I know you were talking this morning about maybe adding someone to our relationship.  I think that Alex needs us both at this time,” Derek explained, looking between his girlfriend and Alex, waiting for the two’s response.

“I think that is a perfect idea.  Alex?  What do you think?” Meredith asked her friend with a smile, gently squeezing his other hand as she waited for his response.

[rothane]

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Gang violence, violence against women and violence in general. Nothing super graphic and it’s honestly mostly just fade to black and implied, but just to be safe. References to arson and housefires in part one.

NOTES: Technically the first half should have been posted a week ago but I did not get that far lmao so now it’s just all in one. I didn’t proof read so good luck ig.

TLDR; The man Georgia shot last week approached Ro for help in the hospital parking lot and she turned him down; a week later the Rogues beat her ass.

FEBRUARY 5, 2021 / MIDNIGHT

With fires breaking out all over town, the medical center had been all hands on deck. Rowan was sure she broke every traffic bylaw in the book on her way there, hastily dropping all four children off with her parent’s and barely managing to give them a rundown on what was happening. Her heart felt like it was in her throat when she left, unsure what kind of fresh hell she was going to be walking into when she got there and trying to plan for the absolute worst case scenarios. House fires are always tricky. She has a hard time putting herself in her patients shoes, finding herself walking a balanced line of emotional and professional while she keeps it together for all of their sake, even if she knows she’ll cry when she gets back in her car at the end of the night. It’s getting exhausting --- every day seems like it just brings a new battle for them, and honesty she isn’t sure how much longer the town is going to be able to stay standing.

Her shift at the hospital goes by exactly as she thinks it will. She holds herself together amongst all of the tragedy, delivering care to her patience with professionalism and empathy for their situations. It’s difficult to leave them at the end of the night, knowing that they’ve just had their entire lives ripped out from under them. Harper doesn’t have a home to go back to tomorrow when she’s released, the last memory she had of her fiance having literally gone up in flames right in front of her. Her niece will be staying at the hospital for at least a week, if not longer. Her little body has taken far more damage than it should have, leaving her lungs compromised and her breathing in need of assistance. Rowan knows, sadly, that this is only the start of a long journey of recovery for the little girl not to mention her brothers and her mother, who are all sure to have some sort of PTSD from the ordeal. Part of her doesn’t want to leave at all, knowing that her best friend and her sister could both use the support of her there but honestly, she’s running on fumes and she just can’t stay there any longer. So she makes her rounds and says her goodbyes, promising to be back in the morning and takes her leave.

When she finally makes it down to the parking lot, she’s so tired she isn’t paying attention to her surroundings. It’s something that she can practically hear her husband scolding her about, but in the moment all she can think about is going home, taking a shower and sinking into bed for the next six hours. She’s pulled from those longing thoughts, however, at the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. She nearly drops her keys, letting out a yelp as she spins around to see who it is. She doesn’t recognize either of them. A man and a woman in cuts she can only assume say Rogues on the back of them, the man clearly in need of medical attention as what looks to be a bullet wound on one of his arms seeps blood onto the concrete around them.

“He needs help.”

Rowan barely hears the words over the sound of her heart beating in her chest and she’s already mentally calculating how long it will take her to turn around and get into her car. She’s pretty sure she can outrun them, given the state the man is in but she has no idea if they’re armed or not -- though she has a feeling it’s leaning more toward the former.

“He needs to go inside. The doctor on call will take care of him.”

The response that comes is what she had been expecting, but she backs up enough that her back is against the SUV when the woman begins speaking again. “We’re not here to have a paper trail followin’ us. We know you work for the club off the books. You’re gonna do the same for us.”

Before Rowan has a chance to properly respond, the man makes a noise of pain. His partner is distracted, giving Rowan a window of opportunity to make her move and within a split second, she’s slamming the door behind her as she gets into her car. A second later, the door handle is being violently yanked on, and she glances out the window to see the man slumped against a car a few rows away and the woman banging on the glass.

“If you leave now you’re gonna regret it.”

But it falls on deaf ears, shaking hands moving to put the car into drive, tires screeching as she flies out of the parking lot and watches her figure get smaller in the rearview. For a moment, she wonders if the whole thing had been some kind of exhaustion induced hallucination, sure that something like that couldn’t have actually just happened. But the blood streaked handprint on her window is a difficult reminder that, unfortunately, it had been very, very real. A string of curses leave her lips before taking a deep breath, fighting off the urge to vomit and while she wants to head straight home, Rowan knows better. While she had only seen two people, who really knows just how many members of the Rogues had been there and she picks up her phone to call Ryder while taking random turns on the off chance that someone is tailing her.  Ten minutes later she finally gets home, Ryder having met her in the driveway and his presence is more than enough to keep her from completely losing her shit.

FEBRUARY 14, 2021 / 7 PM.

Rowan is late --- something she doesn’t do very well with. A follow up appointment with a patient from a few weeks ago having gone over time and left her scrambling to change out of her scrubs and into her dress in her office bathroom. When she finally comes out, still struggling to get her shoes on, she can tell the prospect who has been stuck with babysitting duty is anxious. It’s clear in the way he checks his watch for the third time since he sat down in the patient’s vacated seat, and the way he can’t stop bouncing his leg.

“You got a hot date waitin’ on you, Todd?” She teases him gently, and his cheeks flush with embarrassment.

His voice is higher than usual when he answers back, sheepish and uncharacteristically shy at being called out. “My girlfriend. She made dinner tonight, and she’s not a real patient lady.”

“Sounds familiar,” she snorts in response, finishing the buckle on her shoe and slipping her jacket up and over her shoulders. Todd is still just a prospect and obviously has a ways to go before he actually finds himself patched in and able to give his girlfriend the Old Lady title but if she’s as impatient and stubborn as he has lead her to believe over the weeks, Rowan has a feeling she’ll be able to hold her own more than well enough.  “I’ll make you a deal, once we get down to the parking lot we can part ways. I’m just goin’ over to the restaurant anyways, there’s no need to follow me.” It’s clear that he’s about to protest, surely going over the laundry list of threats her husband has made over the last month and Rowan is quick to interrupt. “It’ll be our secret. If you make it home on time maybe you can still get lucky tonight.”

And that has him embarrassed enough that the poor kid doesn’t bother arguing anymore. Instead, they take the elevator down to the main floor where Rowan signs out and they take their leave. His motorcycle is parked next to her car, and they exchange goodbyes and Rowan gets in one more teasing jab about him having a goodnight before the two of them take separate exits. The drive to the restaurant is less than twenty minutes, and Rowan figures if she speeds, she can make it in twelve. But judging by the flashing lights behind her, she has a feeling that hadn’t been her greatest idea. She curses under her breath, pulling over to the side of the road as what she assumes is a police cruiser pulls up behind her. She fumbles to get her license and registration out after rolling the window down and she’s already spewing an excuse when someone approaches the door.

“I know I was speedin’. Sorry, office I---”

But it dies on her lips when the person leans forward and she sees the same woman from a week earlier. “Hey sweetheart. Remember me?”

The words have her blood running cold, but before she can think of an escape plan the familiar feeling of fingers tangling in her hair pulls her back to the moment, her face coming down with a harsh blow to meet the steering wheel. “You should’ve just helped us when you had the chance.” Rowan’s already disoriented, though she begins to fully panic when her door is flung open and she is pulled from the vehicle. After that, everything seems to be muted and dark, she’s barely aware of what is going on around her and she passes out after only a few moments. Two hours later, she wakes up back at the hospital --- this time finding herself in a paper gown and a hospital bed, a heart monitor beeping steadily beside her.

[ms-rampage]

Eden's Gate: Kidnapped Chapter 15 - Winchester vs Seed

Word count: 3,365

Warnings: Smut right off the bat, swearing, angst, pregnancy annoucment, Paige threatening to put a poopy diaper in John's face, Paige giving John the lecture of his life!!!!! and its just a roller coast of emotions in this one. FORESHADOWING THE NEXT SERIES THAT TAKES PLACE A FEW YEARS EARLIER!!!!!!!.

The final 3 chapters are gonna long ones.

He has her pinned to the bed, lavishing her neck with love bites and kisses.

Kenny, who hasn’t gotten to pleasure his wife in months, finally gets to do that.

Her naked body underneath him, her legs wrapped around his waist. 

Paige has been waiting for this day for so long, Kenny’s body pressed against hers.

The day she was kidnapped, they were gonna conceive another baby that same night, but of course Eden’s Gate had to ruin it by taking her away. Fuck them. Fuck the Project. Fuck the Seeds. Fuck them all to Hell.

Kenny continues down her body, his mouth doing all the work, his thick beard tickling her skin, leaving kisses and bites all the way down her body.

“Kenny?” she moans, as he leaves kisses on her abdomen

He stops, and looks up at her, hovering over the lower half of her body.

She sits up, cupping his face and says softly. 

“I want you to impregnate me” 

He looks at her with disbelief, his eyes widened. 

“You serious?” he mutters. 

She nods her head, “Yes, like we were supposed to do months ago”.

A smile grows on his face, and he crashes his lips against hers, his hand getting tangled in her hair. 

He sits up, and takes off his shirt, Paige unbuttons his pants, he gets off the bed and takes them off along with his boxers. 

He climbs on the bed, aligns himself with Paige’s cunt, and shoves himself inside her without hesitation. 

She cries out in pleasure, wanting, waiting for so long for him to fuck her again.

He puts her legs over his shoulders, digging his fingers into her hips, and fucking her senseless without any thought of stopping or slowing down. 

Her moans bounce off the walls, as well as his grunting and the sound of their skin slapping together. 

She can feel his cock twitch inside her, he lets out a throaty whimper, as a sign that he’s getting close. 

She grips the sheets to the bed, and lets out a soft whimper.

She moves her hands up his arms, digging her nails into his muscular biceps.

His muscles tense up, as he’s fucking her the shit out of her. Sweat building up on his forehead, his hair sticking to his forehead. 

Paige lets out a pitchy whimper, Kenny knows that she’s close to cumming. 

“Let it out” he moans, as he’s still shoving himself into her tight cunt.

She arches her back, and cums all of his cock. 

Her body vibrates as she orgasms. Kenny’s not far behind, he’s very close.

“Ready honey?” his voice hoarse, his eyes filled with lust. 

“Yeah” she moans. 

He presses his forehead to hers, they look into each other's eyes, and he releases himself.

His hot seed flowing into her cunt, bathing her in his cum.

He rocks her hips as he continues to release himself into her, wanting to get her pregnant again.

He pulls out, and collapses next to her. Both breathing heavily but both completely satisfied.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that” he says, pulling her to cuddle with him.

“How do you think I feel?” she says, cuddling up to his chest. 

He chuckles, and pulls her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her. 

Placing a kiss on her head. 

___________________________________________________

A week has passed, well to be exact 9 days have passed, and Paige is starting to feel the early pregnancy symptoms she had when she was pregnant with Cristina.

She doesn’t have any pregnancy tests. 

So she puts Cristina in her carseat, her mom Mandy comes along, and they drive to a nearby drugstore for some pregnancy tests, and some stuff for dinner that evening.

Kate, Kenny, Nate, Mark, Martin, Cody and Adrian stay back to keep an eye, or several eyes on the house. 

They park the car, and walk to some drugstore in Falls End, Paige barely recognizes it, everything looks like it has changed in over the course of 2 months since she was kept prisoner at St. Francis. John Seed must’ve been threatening the owners of the businesses. 

Paige isn’t scared of him, if she saw him right there in Falls End, she’d punched him square in his face. 

Hell maybe she’ll put Cristina’s dirty shitty diaper in his face. Who knows!!. Sometimes the universe decides. 

She has Cristina in a Moby classic wrap baby carrier, Mandy who is a semi paranoid woman walks next to her with a pistol in her holster, and knife in her back pocket, armed and ready incase any peggie fucks want to die. 

They walk past the Spread Eagle bar, and Mary May from the corner of her eye sees Paige and Mandy walk by. She gets out from the behind the bar counter, and goes outside. 

“Paige?!” she says, in shock. 

They both turn around, “Hey Mary” Paige says.

“You’re-you’re alive!?!!!” she exclaims. 

“And well” she jokes.

She sees “Pride” on her chest.

“John got you!?” she says, motioning to her chest.

“Yeah the little fucker marked me. But he’ll get what's coming to him. Him, Joseph, Jacob and even Faith even though she didn’t do anything to me”

Mary crosses her arms over her chest “Yeah, John’s been reaping some of the businesses here. He got the apple farm up the road, he got Rae-Rae’s, a few other businesses and also Lamb of God church” she says.

“So he’s basically got almost every business in Holland Valley?” Mandy asks.

Mary nods her head, “Yep, all he needs now is the Falls End church, the gunshop, the auto shop, Rye’s aviation and my bar”. 

“Oh shit, it's a matter of time before he gets our place” Mandy says to Paige.

“And he won’t because I won’t let him take away my home” she replies to her. 

“Someone’s gotta stop him, and I believe you can do it Paige. Because everyone except you is scared of him, and your sister dated him” 

“Yeah, yeah he told me that during my torture session. I wanted to rip his fucking head off his shoulders” she says looking at the ground.

“Well it great seeing you again Mary, take care” Paige says,

“You too take care” she replies and she goes back into the bar.

Mandy, and Paige make it to the drugstore, and they see a couple of peggies hanging outside of it.

Paige rolls her eyes “Oooohh great, just what we needed” she says, annoyed.

“Just keep walking” Mandy instructs her. 

The peggie fucks see them approaching, and they just stare at them as they walk inside.

Normally Paige would be all over them but she brought her infant daughter with her, and didn’t want her to get caught in the crossfire. 

Paige goes into the aisle with the pregnancy tests, and grabs a couple of them. 

Mandy comes to her with a basket of chips, alcohol and a bunch of random snacks.

Paige looks down at the basket, and lets out a short laugh “Is this dinner?”. 

Mandy lets out a short laugh herself, “No this is just the essentials”. 

They shop for a little bit longer, pay for the stuff, and head back to the car.

As they’re walking back to the car, Paige has the urge to pee. Luckily they’re near the Spread Eagle, “Hold on I really need to use the bathroom” she says to her. 

She takes Cristina out of her wrap, and hands her to Mandy.

She grabs one of the pregnancy tests from the bag, and goes inside the bar.

Mandy waits outside with Cristina, and talks to her.

As she’s talking a few of the Cults truck drive by, and followed by a black SUV with tinted windows.

Paige does her business, she opens the pregnancy tests, and dips it in the urine infested toilet water.

She takes it out, setting it on the box that's on the counter and waits. 

She flushes the toilet and washes her hands. 

It takes a couple minutes for her to get the results, and it's the longest moments of her life!!! 

Finally after 2 minutes of waiting, she gets her results and SHE’S PREGNANT!!!!!!!.

Tears start to form in her eyes, she jumps excitedly in the somewhat dirty bathroom, and she goes outside to her mom. 

Mary sees tears in her eyes.

“Paige are you okay?” she asks, concerned.

She turns her head to face her “I’m fine, Just found out I’m pregnant” she says, holding the pregnancy test.

“Congratulations!!!” she says, excitedly.

Paige goes outside, and shows Mandy the test.

“You’re pregnant?!” she exclaims. 

She nods her head.

“Come on, let's go home, so I can tell the others” she says, and they go into the car.

They drive out of Falls End, down the road home.

When they pull into the driveway, Paige senses something isn’t quite right.

“Something doesn’t feel right” she says.

“It could be gas” Mandy says, “I had a lot of gas when I found out I was pregnant with Kate. But then it could’ve been all the Thai food I ate during that pregnancy”

They get out of the car, Paige wraps Cristina back in her wrap carrier. Mandy walks in front of her, she pulls out her gun, and slowly opens the door.

No one in the kitchen, or dining room.

When you enter the house the first room you enter in the dining room, and the kitchen to the left.

They hear shuffling coming from the living room, Mandy is the first one to enter, and sees Adrian, Martin and Cody tied up on the floor, somewhat bloody, shirtless, and struggling to release themselves.

“Shit” Mandy says, Paige walks in behind her and sees her friends tied up.

“What happened?!?!” she asks, panicking.

“It's the Cult they’re here!!!” Adrian exclaims, pointing his head to behind Paige and Mandy.

They turn around, and see some peggies holding Mark, Nate and Kenny hostage, they’re bloody, shirtless and it looks like they put up a fight against those Cultist fucks.

John Seed enters the room, and Paige’s mood changes from panic to pure raging hatred mixed with violence.

“Thought I wouldn’t get you?” he asks, with a smug cocky smile.

“And you thought it was a good idea to fuck with me? you asshole” she spits at him.

“Is that anyway to talk in front of your child?” he says, motioning to Cristina who is still in her wrap carrier. Paige notices John has a few scratches on his face

A couple of peggies grab them, and point their guns at them. John goes back into the other half of the living room, and brings Kate out who has duct tape over her mouth, a red handprint on her neck like she was choked, and her hands tied up.

“You little fucking shit” Paige yells at him, and is instantly, and aggressively pulled back by the peggie. Which makes Cristina cry, John rolls his eyes, and says “Will someone shut up that little beast!!!”.

That remark completely pissed off, and angered Kenny “You son of bitch” he mutters aggressively, and is pulled back by the peggie. 

The peggie that's holding Paige is about to grab Cristina out of her carrier, and she elbows him in the neck and he falls to the floor. 

She’s pretty sure she broke it with that hard, fast strike. 

“What the fuck do you want John?” she asks, trying to calm down Cristina.

“This” he says, looking around the house.”Your house, it's the 2nd biggest one in town, and of course mine being number 1”.

“Well you can’t have it. So why don’t you take your little merrymen, and get your lawyer ass off my property” she says, with rage.

2 more peggies come out from the other half of the living room, and they both grab Paige.

John approaches her, and says. “You see there is that Greed. You only care about yourself”.

Paige scoffs, and says. “Really? Is that what you think? I only care about myself?. Psssh no John, I care about my family, I care about my friends, but you know who I don't care about John? I don’t care about you, and your family. That does not make me greedy, or selfish, that means I’m selfless, don’t get those two words mixed up Johnny I know your small brain can’t handle that much. I care for my loved ones needs before my own. I care about my family’s business that my father, and his father, and father before him have worked so hard to keep together, and that is something you”ll never know about John”. She stops talking to catch her breath, and lets John take in everything that she said. 

She continues lecturing him “Hell Kate even told me that she told you everything about what my family does, she told me about the demon possessing you a few years ago when she was attending the University. By the way does Joseph know you had pre-marital sex with my sister? Because isn’t that a sin? You’re a hypocrite to own words John!!. But what do I know I’m just a nasty little sinner”. 

She can see the rage building in his eyes, the blue in his eyes are gone. 

Regardless she’s still not scared of him.

He smirks, turning his back to her, he grabs Kate’s arm, bringing her in front of Paige, while he stands next to her.

“It’s funny how you two are related. And yes I’m aware of your family business. Ghosts, vampires, werewolves they don’t exist!” 

Paige looks over at Mandy and rolls her eyes. 

“Then how do you explain Saleos and Merihem?!!!??” she asks.

He ignores her question, and continues his lecture to her

“Your family is filled with sinners. Didn't think I’d remember you Mandy, and after what Joseph did for you. After everything WE did for YOU. You betrayed us. You betrayed Joseph, and you betrayed God”

“God doesn’t give a fuck about you, or any of us!!” Paige yells at him. 

“YOU will not speak of him in that tone” John snaps at Paige.

He calms down a bit, and says while holding Kate’s throat. 

“Some of us had some sin to release, and I did my atonement”. 

He looks at Kate while still holding her throat. 

“And she did hers, whether or not I was in my correct mindset or not”

“Mindset? Or demonic possession?” Mandy says.

John ignores her question, and finishes with. 

“Jacob was very upset that you left, and he wanted me to bring you, and your friends and family to his place. You should know by now what that means”.

He tightens his grip around Kate’s arm, and takes towards the back door.

“But!!” he exclaims, turning back around. “I almost forgot the atonement” he says. 

The peggies turn Paige and Mandy around, and bring Kenny, Nate, Mark, Adrian, Cody and Martin in front of them, lining them up.

John goes through a bag on one of the chairs, and pulls out his tattoo needle. 

He stands in front of them with the needle in hand. All 6 men look at him with pure rage, and anger.

“So who wants to go first?” he asks. 

“Fuck off John” Paige yells at him from behind, but he ignores her remark.

“Kenneth, since your mouthy wife decided to try and tear me a new one. YOU should be the first one to go. Yes?” he says, pointing the needle at him.

“Fuck off, I ain’t saying shit” he snaps at him.

“Just like your wife. The Greed, I can see why you two married each other” he says chuckling. 

“Greed is definitely your sin” he adds.

“No, I ain’t giving in to you. Go fuck yourself” Kenny yells again.

John chuckles again “Why do you WINCHESTERS, make everything so difficult!!!!”.

“Because we’re the Winchesters not the Losechesters” Paige laughs flatly.

Kenny glares at her with “now's not the time honey” eyes, along with everyone else. Paige tries to figure out a plan to get John, and his merrymen out of her house.

Two peggies are holding her, one is holding her mom, three behind the guys and none are holding Kate. 

Paige stares at Kate as a way to get her attention, she looks over at Paige, and she automatically knows what she wants her to do.

"John?!!! John?!!?!" Kate mumbles, to get his attention away from the guys.

“Oooh what is it my dear?” he says, walking over to Kate. Now that she has him preoccupied. 

Paige looks over at Kenny, and he is already looking at her.

She points her eyes to the peggies behind them, and to the ones behind her and Mandy.

They have they’re way of communicating with their eyes, and she’s basically telling him. 

There’s 8 of us. and 6 of them, we kill the peggies, and have John as a hostage. 

Mandy sees their way of communicating, and already knew what they were planning.

All at the same time, they take down all 6 peggies.

Mandy elbows hers in the gut, and hits him with an elbow strike, Paige does the same with hers, and flips them over her shoulders while holding Cristina in her wrap. Stomping on their guts. Adrian, Kenny and Cody take out the other 3 in a similar fashion.

Leaving John defenseless.

Paige takes Cristina out of her wrap putting her in her playpen. 

John laughs nervously with his hands up. “This is the last thing you want to do. Killing me is not gonna be a good thing” he says.

“Oh don’t worry John we’re not gonna kill ya. We might have to convert you” Paige says, “And maybe kill you. But who knows maybe we”ll have a change of heart” she adds. 

They tie John to a chair in the kitchen, he looks completely annoyed, and now he knows what it feels like to be tied up, and a hostage. 

Kate walks into the kitchen and sits next to him, and says.

“You knew, you had it coming John”

He looks at her, and mumbles “Are you gonna let them kill me Katie?” 

She responds “If you cooperate, we won’t have to kill you”. 

He groans through his gag. 

Kate tries to have a heart to heart conversation with him.

“You know deep down I still care about you. Your well being. Because I know how much in love you were with me, and I know you’re still in love with me”.

He looks over at her, she can see the rage in his eyes. But there’s also love there as well, and it's overpowering it.

“Don’t even deny it because I know you still love me. Because I understand the pain you went through, I opened up to you about my past and upbringing. I wanted to put that behind me but I couldn’t. Didn't you see how hesitant I was when we first started talking? I never knew a guy like you would fall in love some dumb 19-20 year old college student like me. That was the closest I’ll ever have to having a normal life, but I gotta live this life until I die. I was brought up saving people, killing evil sons of bitches, and I went insane when that demon douchebag got to you. It drove me crazy”.

Tears start to form in Kate’s eyes, John tries to hold back tears, he never realized how much Kate cared about him. 

Paige is standing in the hallway outside the kitchen, and heard everything she said to John.

“I actually saw you in my future, as my husband, as the father to my kids. I’ll admit there are times where I’m jealous of Paige and Kenny’s relationship because that is one of the biggest rules with having a life like mine. No close friendships unless its with actual hunters of the supernatural, and no relationships”

She removes to gag from his mouth, and he says.

“I really meant that much to you?”

She nods her head, and they sit there in the kitchen. Tears in their eyes.

[contrivedcoincidences6]

The Bodyguard Ch. 19

Need to catch up? Here is chapter 18!

Written by @alittlemissfit and I! 

P.S. good luck. 

Scully drives the rented convertible, a rare indulgence, grinning at the feel of the wind in her hair and the promise of a week in solitude. Skinner asked her to get out of the city for a while, giving her keys to one of the company owned beach houses. Initially, she’d been irritated, questioning his motives, but after talking to Mulder she realized getting away for awhile was just what she needed.

Even now her cheeks burn remembering him bringing up Daniel. She’s replayed their conversation a hundred times in her head and each time she feels more and more unsettled. She can admit his concerns were valid, but having her past thrown in her face in a public setting had been humiliating, and his tone and attitude towards her had stung. She felt angry, raw, and knew that any chance they had at a relationship, even as friends was gone. She hadn’t even realized she wanted that until seeing him again. He’d been waiting for her at that restaurant looking so casually handsome, but his words and behavior had been enough to drive her away.

At night, visions of him still come to her that are difficult to drive away. She finds herself, guiltily, picturing his hands in place of hers when trying to relieve tension at the end of the day. The images come to her unbidden, make her come in minutes. Afterwards, she always feels empty, knowing his hands won’t touch her like that again.

Shaking her head, hoping to rid herself of all thoughts of him, she sighs. Turns up the radio. Moping is not going to change anything, and the last thing she wants to spend her vacation doing is wallowing. She thinks about going to a bar and picking up some hot random somebody for a one night stand, but the thought makes her feel queasy. Even still. She’d woken up feeling off and the fresh air hadn’t been enough to settle her stomach.

Reaching over to the passenger seat she rifles through her purse with one hand, tears open her roll of emergency Tums. Once they kick in and she gets closer, the road starting to neighbor the ocean, each whiff of sea air settles her down and makes her smile.

The beach house is a larger blue cottage, situated just a few yards from the water. She pulls into the driveway and sees not much had changed since her last visit.

Her first time here had been a work retreat. Volleyball games on the beach and surf and turf for dinner, all to act as bonding time once her class of recruits had finished training. When Daniel whisked her here for a weekend away a few months later, she hadn’t objected and hoped she could make some new memories. Little did she know that now they left her feeling queasy again.

Letting herself in with the key she drops her bags off in the guest bedroom, refusing to set foot in the master suite ever again. Opening her suitcase up on the bed, she glances out the window at the almost identical yellow cottage right next door and the van parked in the driveway. Carter’s nurse’s vehicle, if she had to guess.

Skinner had told her that her protege was recuperating in the main house. He had constant in-home care, and his mother had even come down for a week’s stay not too long ago. She knew she should stop in and see him. She owed him that much, but right now she was just too tired.

Exploring the rest of the house she sees it has been well kept since her last visit, though a little dusty. Seeing the small specks scattered and dancing in the light beams, she opens the windows to let out the stale air before she starts to unpack.

Once settled in for the night with a glass of wine, a good book and a fire in the fireplace, Scully falls asleep to the sound of waves. Promising herself she’ll visit Carter tomorrow.

Come tomorrow, however, she finds herself bent over the toilet. At the crack of dawn, she’d woken up the same way she had for the past four days. Feeling panic set in, she quickly gets up off the floor. Grabs her day planner from the desk in the spare room.

“Oh no...no,” she breathes, running her finger over the small dots she uses to mark her cycle.

“Son of a....fuck!”

Throwing her planner across the room, she sits on the edge of the bed. Closing her eyes and willing herself to calm down. They used a condom, she reminds herself. That part of the night she remembers clearly. Then she starts remembering all the reasons condoms can fail and feels herself spiraling all over again.

“Stop it, Dana. Damn it,” she scolds herself, knowing her stomach can’t take much more stress.

“It could mean anything. You can be late because of stress. You could be nauseous from food poisoning. It...it could be anything,” she says, hoping if she says it aloud she’ll start believing it.

When her hands stop shaking she gets dressed, gathers her things and drives into town to the store.

An hour later she is perched on the bathroom counter, looking down at three positive tests in her hands. Tossing them in the nearby trash can with a yell, she proceeds to cry her eyes out.

Standing in the parking garage, waiting by his former boss’ car, Skinner checks his watch impatiently, then looks up and glares hearing footsteps.

“What the-”

“Waterston!” he booms. At Daniel’s flinch, he fights the urge to smile.

“Oh, Walter. I thought you were someone else.”

“Who the hell did you think I was?” he scoffs.

Seeing Daniel’s lack of poker face, he clenches his jaw, knowing his suspicions about the man are at least partially true.

“Have you paid a visit to Teena Mulder by any chance?” he asks.

Swallowing hard, Daniel adjusts his tie.

“Teena Mulder? As in Mulder from the detail, Mulder?”

“Let me ask the questions here, alright? Have you met with Mrs. Mulder or not?”

“No, Walter. I haven’t,” Daniel snaps. “What reason would I have to go all the way to an estate that far from the city?”

“I don’t know, but you must’ve had one at some point. I’ve got an agent stationed outside her home who saw you speaking with her last week.”

Knowing his fib pays off at the fearful look on Daniel’s face, Skinner shakes his head.

“For Christ’s sake, Daniel.”

“At least let me explain myself,” the older man asks, getting a nod to continue.

“I kept quiet about the visit because I knew I’d get questions and a look like that from you. But she needed to know the truth about Dana. A truth that I assume you now know, considering you’ve taken the trouble to meet me like this.”

“Just because I found out the truth doesn’t mean I didn’t deserve your version of it. We’ve worked at Artemis together for how long, Daniel?” Skinner spits, as Daniel shakes his head in a condescending way.

“Long enough for me to know you’re a sucker for a pretty face.”

“Excuse me?” he bristles.

“You’re putty in the hands of Dana Scully, Walter. It’s not your fault. I know exactly how persuasive she can be. Add to that her looks. She’s had you wrapped around her finger since the day we recruited her.”

“Well, at least I had no problem keeping it in my goddamn pants. And you know why? Because unlike you I respect Dana. I just wish she hadn’t found out about you so late in the game.”

“Found out what about me?”

“Besides the fact that you’re a piece of shit who forces himself on women, you haven’t given a damn about Artemis for years.”

“I was perfectly content to keep my position until that slut got me suspended,” Daniel mutters as Skinner steps in, grabs him by the collar.

“You talk about her like that again and I’ll-”

“You’ll what? Get me expelled?” Daniel snorts, backing out of his hold and fixing his tie. Skinner holds his ground though, continues towering over him and staring him down.

“I can do a hell of a lot worse and you know it,” he says, smirking when Daniel gulps, takes a step back.

“Who’s the man with the cigarettes I keep seeing everywhere?”

“What man, I don’t know-”

“He was in the car with Fox Mulder,” Skinner growls, shoving Daniel into a support beam.

“The day of the accident, he barely had a scratch on him while our detail was stuck in the E.R overnight.”

“And you’re blaming me for this?”

“I’m asking you what you know about it,” he says crossly. “Here’s what I know so far. This smoking man works with Bill Mulder. I got my hands on his phone number and checked his call log. You two seem to chat a lot.”

“Well, this man. Mr. Spender and I...we go way back. We’re acquaintances. Old friends.”

“What’s your old friend’s part in all this?”

“Nothing,” Daniel shrugs. “He’s Fox’s godfather but aside from that-”

“I know he was at the hospital that night despite having been medically cleared by the EMT’s. I know too that he was skulking around Carter’s room after the car bomb went off.”

“He could’ve been there chatting with Fox. I know that he was injured in the blast.”

“You seem to know a lot of things. How about you fill me in. Tell me why after seeing me, your friend Spender couldn’t get out of the hospital fast enough.”

“He probably was trying to avoid being interrogated by you the way I am right now,” Daniel snaps, trying to step around Skinner but failing when he’s backed into the beam again.

“I’m afraid this interrogation isn't finished yet. Where’d you send Carter?”

“I didn’t-”

“Where’d you send him, Daniel?!” Skinner growls, grabbing Daniel by the collar. When he doesn’t respond he slams him back into the support beam.

“You think this is a game? You think I won’t air out all your dirty laundry and make your life a goddamn misery while I do?”

“He’s at the beach house!” Daniel chokes out, wide-eyed.

“What beach house?”

“The cottages! I sent him to the cottages! Where we had the retreat. He...he’s with a nurse. He’s alive,” he sputters as Skinner releases, then shoves him away in disgust.

“He’s alive, Walter. I swear it.”

“That’s not my only concern,” Skinner mutters, pacing now as he runs a hand over his bald spot, realizing Carter is in the same spot he sent Scully to. Turning on his heel he stares Daniel down.

“Does Spender know what you did? That you sent Carter to recuperate there?”

Nodding, Daniel slumps back in defeat against the garage wall.

“He’s the one who suggested it.”

“Why the hell would he do that?”

“Because your junior agent knows something. Spender wants him out of the way.”

“Alive and out of the way?” Skinner asks roughly, feeling his stomach knot when Daniel goes pale.

“Daniel!”

“It started out that way. Until he learned some other facts that…changed his thinking.”

“Facts like what?”

“Facts that pertained to the disappearance of Samantha Mulder. Fox’s sister.”

The knot growing bigger now, Skinner leans back against Daniel’s car. Trying to come to grips with what he’s just heard.

“You say you know Spender. What do you think he’s going to do?”

“If I had to guess...if he thinks Carter knows anything about any of this, he’ll kill him.”

“What about Dana? Would he hurt her? Try and kill-”

“Why would you ask that?” Daniel asks, frowning.

“Because she’s in the same damn spot as her protege. Because I sent her there,” Skinner admits, filled now with fear, dread, and guilt that only grows at the look in Daniel’s eyes.

Shaking his head in disgust, with the weak man he just left and with himself, he quickly walks to his car. Wonders who the hell he can trust to help everyone out of this mess.

“I don’t know, Mulder. Sounds like she was playing you,” Langly shrugs, taking a swig of beer.

Mulder looks down at his longneck, his fifth of the night, picturing Scully’s face before she walked away. The look she’d given him was one of pure hurt like she’d been utterly betrayed. Even bordering on wasted, he can’t believe that she is part of any of this.

“She’s a looker, Mulder. But I think she’s a slippery one,” Frohike says, slapping him on the back.

Lurching forward on the couch, Mulder rubs his hand down his face, fending off dizziness.

“No. Not Scully. She...she didn’t know anything.”

He feels their pitying eyes on him but presses on.

“Guys, I could tell. I knew. She was embarrassed ‘bout what my mother told me, but she...she looked so hurt when I asked if she spied. Was a spy.”

“Of course she looked hurt. They trained her to look hurt! Look at you, doubting the obvious because of a big pair of baby blues,” Frohike scoffs, swigging down his remaining beer before letting out a moderately loud belch.

“No. You’re wrong. I….I have a feeling about her guys. Scully….she...she’s not one of them.”

“Mulder,” Byers sighs, fidgeting uncomfortably in the wing chair across the way.

“Look, we understand what you’re saying but we came here to fill you in on something else. It’s urgent.”

Looking up curiously, Mulder frowns. “What’s the matter? What’s wrong?”

“Your other guard, Carter. He’s been moved from the hospital but we can’t find where he went.”

“We asked some of the nurses and doctors. It’s like the guy disappeared without a trace. Nobody knows,” Langly says as Mulder scoffs, peels the label from his beer bottle.

“Carter. That’s Scully’s boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Langly and Frohike say in unison.

“Yeah,” he snorts, glancing up with bleary and narrowed eyes.

“At the hospital, I caught her talking to him in his room. The way she sat with him there. She held his hand-”

“And that means they’re dating?”

“They’re together, guys. Why else was she so upset about us sleeping together?”

“Because she’s a good actress. Been playing you from the getgo…,” Langly mutters under his breath.

Rolling his eyes, ignoring him, Mulder opens another beer and takes a swig.

“So hang on a second, why do you think Carter disappearing has anything to do with me?” he asks.

“Well, we checked some of the security cameras,” Byers says.

“Saw an old friend of yours there. One who’s fond of cigarettes,” Frohike interjects. Langly goes to chime in but is cut off by the phone ringing.

“Mulder,” he answers, watching closely as the guard waiting outside his door peeks inside.

“Mr. Mulder, this is Walter Skinner.”

“Ah, Skinman! What’s going on?” he asks.

“Have you spoken to Agent Scully within the last week?” Skinner asks gruffly, the edge to his voice putting Mulder on edge. Sitting up on the couch he frowns, sets his beer on the coffee table.

“Yeah, I... I saw her yesterday,” he says, slurring slightly despite his efforts. “What’s going on, is she-”

“You and I need to talk.”