#i basically like either feminine or masculine names that are rare as fuck or are cool; or just. a noun. like nemesis

[cassynite]

Tagged by @undyingembers and @the-raging-tempest for this prompt! I'm probably going to double tag so apologies but I'm tagging @dragonologist-phd @tenmillionbees @spyridonya and @dmagedgoods as well as anyone else who'd want to do this!

Sparrow

BASICS

- NO. OF SPOKEN LANGUAGES >>1.5 (Taldane and remnants of a rare Mwangi dialect common around Dehrukani, as well as snatches of Celestial. She can also read some elvish and infernal.)

- TONE OF VOICE >> high / average / deep (low and rather raspy)

- ACCENT >> yes (very slight Cheliaxian accent--thank you to Siren for the Cheliax lore and Italian/Venetian influences in Westcrown as well as how it would have changed after Thrune took over. Earth equivalent would be similar to Latin spoken in like the Vatican, wit hints of Venetian)

- DEMEANOR >> confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other (stoic and distant)

- POSTURE >> slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed (Sparrow tends to stand at attention, always aware and alert)

HABITS

head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing / arm crossing / strokes chin / er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at a distance

(Sparrow tends to be very still and her mannerisms present hesitancy very often--she's used to not looking people in the eye when speaking, thinking through her words, and keeping her distance from others. When very stressed, she will clasp her hands together, but that is the only real "fidgeting" mannerism she possesses.) 

COMPLEXITY (Fill in the circle’s as you wish)

- VOCABULARY >> ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚪️ (While Sparrow is not verbose, internally she has a very broad vocabulary--she became extremely well read in the Arvanxi household and her inner monologue reflects this.)

- EMOTION >> ⚫️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️ (She will only very rarely show even slight emotion in her voice; most often, her tone does not relay her actual feelings in conversations. Most people need to look for minute tells in her body language or expressions instead.)

- SENTENCE STRUCTURE >> ⚫️⚫️⚪️⚪️⚪ (I've seen people interpret this as how formal someone speaks, which would be full bar for Sparrow, she's very formal when speaking except in the most relaxed of situations/someone she is extremely comfortable with. I interpreted it as how detailed/layered her actual sentence structures tend to be--if they're long and winding or short. Sparrow tends to speak in very short sentences, trying to get as much information out in as little words as possible. In relaxed situations, she will sometimes become more verbose, her speech reflecting her inner thoughts, which tend to be much more detailed and long-winded.

PROFANITY

- FREQUENCY >> ⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️ (I am genuinely not sure if Sparrow swears at all. When she becomes angry or stressed her first reaction is to clam up.)

- CREATIVITY (in regards to profanity) >> ⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️ (If she does swear, it would probably be very typical name-calling, like "bastard" or some such.)

BOLD THAT APPLY

arse / ass / asshole / bastard / bitch / bloody / bugger / bollocks / chicken shit / crap / cunt / dick / frick / fuck / horseshit / motherfucker / piss / prick / pussy / screw / shit / shitass / son of a bitch / twat / wanker

THIS OR THAT

straightforward or cryptic? (If Sparrow is cryptic it tends to only be in what she does not say at all; she hides the most in how she presents information. However, she rarely if ever outwardly lies or acts obtuse on purpose.)

finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind? (Sparrow is an incredibly deliberate speaker who almost never speaks without intent.)

masculinity, neutrality, or femininity? (Wasn't totally sure what this meant to be honest, but Sparrow doesn't really present much either way in terms of gender, especially in her speech; her mannerisms are meant to make her disappear.)

formalities or with abrasiveness? (Sparrow is excessively formal)

praise or equivocation? (Sparrow equivocates a lot, avoiding committing herself to anything unless absolutely sure she is correct or able to do it. If she does commit, she follows through.)

 frankness or flattery (Again, Sparrow rarely outright lies. She'll avoid or obscure, but will be very direct when actually confronting something.)

excessive or minimal hand gestures (Sparrow tends toward stillness as a general rule)

name-calling or magnanimity? (Name-calling is incredibly pointless in Sparrow's mind, she almost never outright insults someone unless she's really riled up. Sometimes in her head she will be rude to people but she doesn't let that effect their actual interactions if she can help it.)

friendly or blunt (Sparrow is very cold and blunt typically! She shows a softer, friendlier side as time goes on but her reserved nature always means she comes off colder than most)

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

- DO PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING OR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHARACTER? almost always / frequently / rarely / never (She speaks softly)

- DOES YOUR CHARACTER’S POINT COME ACROSS EASILY WHEN THEY SPEAK?

almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never (Blunt and to the point)

- WOULD YOUR CHARACTER INITIATE CONVERSATIONS?

almost always / frequently / sometimes / never (only if needed)

- WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE THE ONE TO END CONVERSATIONS?

almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never (She doesn't linger in conversations and will cut things off as soon as it's needed/polite to do so)

- WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE ‘WHOM’ IN A SENTENCE?

yes / no / only ironically 

- YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO MAKE A COUNTERPOINT. WHAT WORD DO THEY USE?

but / though / although / however / perhaps / maybe

- HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER END CONVERSATIONS?

walk away / ask if that’s everything / say that’s everything / give a proper goodbye / tell their company they're done here / remain quiet / they don’t

- WHAT SOCIAL CLASS WOULD OTHERS ASSUME YOUR CHARACTER BELONGS TO, HEARING THEM SPEAK?

upper / middle / lower (that fake nobility rizz)

- IN WHAT WAYS DOES THE WAY YOUR CHARACTER SPEAK STAND OUT TO OTHERS?

accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / it doesn’t (Most people would describe her as someone who speaks softly but who is listened to if she does speak)

Anything else not touched on?

The strength of Sparrow's accent depends on whether or not she's expected to be Evaethi. She learned how to pass with a near-flawless upper Cheliaxian accent when she works as a noble, and will instinctively start to speak like that again when she's in the presence of someone who sees her as Lady Evaethi.

During the Crusade this means she abruptly started speaking in a far stronger accent once her "true identity" as Evaethi was revealed, and then it slowly softens again over time once her actual past is revealed.

[olderpulp]

contemplating the name remy at 5am on a sunday

[aquarii-writes]

Ways They Show That They Love you(multiple)

Inspiration has struck once again. As always reader is neutral however I do change between feminine and masculine pet names cause I can never fucking decide. This is more so about the love languages of the characters

WC: 1,482

Genre: Fluffy for the most part

WARNINGS/notes: typical stuff that resides in canon for certain characters. Also Drivakats new song is a vibe. I do quite like Boomer so I may consider writing him in the future

DREAM

Dream expresses himself best through touch

He's always touching you in some way

Sleeping? Arms are wrapped around you. Cooking? Mf is tryna hold your hand

He'll tell you how lovely you are, and how happy you make him but he will always show you that he loves you before he'll say it

When he becomes more reclusive in the Disc saga you know he still loves you because of how tight he holds you at night

In the prison he holds his pillow and convinces himself that it's you.

Both you and the pillow are soft; even if the pillow has long since lost its fluffiness

Should you ever go to visit Dream in Pandora's Vault then he will not hesitate to hold you to him

He's been alone for so long that he's forgotten what your touch feels like

GEORGENOTFOUND

George rarely expresses himself already; he mirror's those around him

But when it comes to you he feels more comfortable to be himself

He shares his quiet with you

The two of you could sit in silence for hours and him still feel connected to you

Of course if you want to be physically touching him then go ahead, not like he'll stop you

But he feels most connected to you when the both of you can share silence and not drift apart

Midnight is his favorite type of silence

Crickets, frogs, and other wild life have gone quiet. The night is dark and the moon is high in the sky

The stars shine stories long forgotten to the earth

Midnight is the most calming with the silence and if he shares it with you he'll stay up for hours just cuddling and thinking

SAPNAP

He talks so much

That's how you know he's happiest

He may never say everything on his mind but he'll listen to every small thing you have to say

He'll tell you how much he loves you and how pretty you are

Till his head hits the pillow he wont shut up

Anything and everything he'll talk about when he's comfy with you

AWESAMDUDE

Little gifts

Giving or receiving he loves little gifts

Small bouquet of flowers that reminded him of you, little rocks you found on the way to the prison, anything really

So long as they're sentimental he'll value each and every gift you give him and in turn will spoil you with more gifts

This is also how he shows he misses you.

After a long day or two at the prison Sam is essentially dead weight

He'll take off his armor, shoes, and maybe his shirt before just dropping into bed

You give him some food you made earlier he'll melt

The next morning when he's alive again he'll find a bundle of flowers, and shiny rocks to give to you

BBH

Food food food food fo-

He loves cooking for you and if you cook for him he'll be even further in love with you

As well BBH loves to give presents

Whether it's a demon thing or a him thing he loves little gifts

More often than not he'll probably give you lil rocks he found

He splits them evenly between you, skeppy, and sap :]

FUNDY

Touch is very important to Fundy

He never got much from Wilbur and after Sally disappeared he basically never got any love

Yeah wilbur told him that he loved him and everything

But that isn't the same as getting a hug or a kiss

Best way for him to communicate his love for you is through cuddles

Always the little spoon where he'll cuddle into your chest/neck

Give lil nips and kisses every so often to remind you that yeah he's awake and very much loves you

PUNZ

Another touch person

Idk in my head I see punz as being raised in a household where touching for affection wasn't all too common

So when he's alone with you he'll be touching you some how

Sitting on the couch? He's either laying on you or someone's legs are on the other

Cooking in the kitchen? Fucker is around your waist or his head is on your shoulder

In bed? Well there's more that could happen there but punz doesn't strike me as all that sexual of a person; but someone is laying on the other

Though when another person is around that's all out the window

He'll still touch you just not as much. Maybe wrap his arm around you, but he'll mostly hold your hand

WILBUR SOOT

Words words words

Tell this man you love him and he'll kinda melt

Depending on the era of his life depends on how clingy he'll get after you spill your love to him

Write him a poem, a song, hell even a letter and he will always melt on you

He seems like the type to just *die* should he be given a romantic ode

Personally I would too

JSCHLATT

Dad?

He has a thing for talking

He loves to talk his ass off for no reason

And while he hates to be interrupted I do see that he'd be less upset if it were his s/o telling him to shut up some

Touch if you're talking I can see him listening intently

Your voice is calming

Though when he becomes president he isn't as good as he was before

But that kinda with everything with him :/

ERET

More gifts

Normally with him it's small things that he'll give you

Small pastries from a meal that you weren't at, pens and pencils for you to write with

Anything they can think of he'll probably at some point give to you

And when you gift her things back?

Heart is gone

I swear

Eret really comes off as the type of person to love giving and getting gifts especially if the gifts are small

QUACKITY

Touch

Please touch the poor man. He's been through too much

During the day he's a little more reserved when touching you but he still holds you

Dealing cards? He has you sitting pretty right next to him at the dealers end. Sitting at the bar on a break for dinner? He has his non dominant hand resting on your waist or thigh.

Once all the doors have been locked, and the cards/chips all packed he has you in his arms. Spinning and dancing around in the silence of the night; maybe Slime is trying to play the piano in the background

At home he's around you every chance he gets

When one of you cooks the other is either preparing other ingredients or messing with the radio to get it to play music

Well now I have an idea for a Quackity imagine

KARL JACOBS

He sleeps around you a lot

This isn't inherently bad. Just annoying at times

Between time travel he can't control and the mess with Sapnap and Quackity he's so tired

In every era he's gone to he has found the three of you and every time he is drawn to you and sap

He found that he sleeps the best when in your bed; hell even in your house

There's something about you that makes him feel more comfortable and he finds it easier to sleep.

TECHNOBLADE

He shares his space with you

Techno is naturally a solitary person so more often than not he retreats away from everyone to recharge his social battery

Sometimes with you it just doesn't drain

Once he realizes this he spends more time with you around.

Making you help him with chores around the farm, taking care of Steve and Carl, and preparing potions

Eventually you basically move it and you two are essentially dating. Yet neither of you clarify this to the other

You both make the mutual conclusion of 'oh so we are dating now'

FOOLISH GAMERS

Spend time with his kids

Seriously Finny and Jr are such a big part of his life that anyone who can't at least get along with his kids is immediately out of the dating pool

Albeit this kinda highlights my personal views of what a single parent should do when dating

Spending time with the two kids is a quick way to worm into his heart. Once he sees that the kids like you he'll bring you around more often

Finny once made the comment to him that she liked how you did your makeup and he asked you if you could show her

Jr likes it when you play rougher with him so he can prove how strong he can be

Foolish sometimes takes it too far and accidentally hurt him so when you play with Jr it makes him melt

And should you have kids he'll play with them as well!

Very much involve his children when you're all together it makes him very happy

[arklay]

tagged by @florbelles @leviiackrman @nuclearstorms @liurnia @morvaris & @swordcoasts to do this – thank you all, ily guys so so much! ♡

tagging: @aartyom @brujah @camelliagwerm @cultistbase @denerims @faarkas @indorilnerevarine @montliyets @reaperkiller @risingsh0t @shadowglens @snowthroat @solasan @steelport @trvelyans @virassan @voerman @windupcharibert @wrymbloods & anyone else who'd like to do this! ♡

OC SPEECH MANNERISMS.

— BASICS.

NO. OF SPOKEN LANGUAGES: 1 / 2 / 3+ [fluent in english, russian and french; proficient in swahili; knows conversational mandarin and japanese]

TONE OF VOICE: high / average / deep [gets higher when she is rambling and talking about something she is passionate about]

ACCENT: yes / no [cultivated australian]

DEMEANOUR: confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other [comes off as distant and haughty to most people]

POSTURE: slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed [relaxes around people she is comfortable with, which is like two people]

— HABITS.

head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing / arm crossing / strokes chin / er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at a distance

— COMPLEXITY.

VOCABULARY: ⚫⚫⚫⚫⚫

EMOTION: ⚫⚫⚪⚪⚪

SENTENCE STRUCTURE: ⚫⚫⚫⚫⚪

— PROFANITY.

FREQUENCY: ⚫⚪⚪⚪⚪

CREATIVITY: ⚫⚫⚪⚪⚪

BOLD ALL THAT APPLY.

arse / ass / asshole / bastard / bitch / bloody / bugger / bollocks / chicken shit / crap / cunt / dick / frick / fuck / horseshit / motherfucker / piss / prick / pussy / screw / shit / shitass / son of a bitch / twat / wanker

— THIS OR THAT.

straightforward or cryptic? / finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind? / masculinity, neutrality, or femininity? / formalities or with abrasiveness? / praise or equivocation? / frankness or lies? / excessive or minimal hand gestures? / name-calling or magnanimity? / friendly or blunt?

— IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.

DO PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING OR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHARACTER? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never [i would've said rarely but she will use scientific terms when she doesn't need to because she's pretentious]

DOES YOUR CHARACTER'S POINT COME ACROSS EASILY WHEN THEY SPEAK? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER INITIATE CONVERSATIONS? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never [she would rather not engage in conversation if she can avoid it, but if she has it's because she either wanted something from the person or deemed them worthy of her attention]

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE THE ONE TO END CONVERSATIONS? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE 'WHOM' IN A SENTENCE? yes / no / only ironically

YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO MAKE A COUNTERPOINT, WHAT WORD DO THEY USE? but / though / although / however / perhaps / mayhaps

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER END CONVERSATIONS? walk away / ask if that's everything / say that's everything / give a proper goodbye / tell their company they're here / remain quiet / they don't [she will walk away in the middle of someone talking to her (she doesn't care), but if it is someone she works with and must show some level of respect to because of their position, she will announce her leave before doing so]

WHAT SOCIAL CLASS WOULD OTHERS ASSUME YOUR CHARACTER BELONG TO, HEARING THEM SPEAK? upper / middle / lower

IN WHAT WAYS DOES THE WAY YOUR CHARACTER SPEAK STAND OUT TO OTHERS? accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / it doesn't

— BASICS.

NO. OF SPOKEN LANGUAGES: 1 / 2 / 3+ [fluent in tamrielic and bosmeris; proficient in nordic and dragon language]

TONE OF VOICE: high / average / deep [sounds deeper at times because they have a low, kind of hoarse voice]

ACCENT: yes / no [cyrodilic with some hints of other accents mixed in]

DEMEANOUR: confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other [distant and intimidating]

POSTURE: slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed [almost always as stiff as a board; the only time they aren't is when they're moving in a fight or with farkas]

— HABITS.

head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing / arm crossing / strokes chin / er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at a distance

— COMPLEXITY.

VOCABULARY: ⚫⚫⚪⚪⚪

EMOTION: ⚫⚪⚪⚪⚪

SENTENCE STRUCTURE: ⚫⚫⚫⚪⚪

— PROFANITY.

FREQUENCY: ⚫⚫⚫⚪⚪

CREATIVITY: ⚫⚪⚪⚪⚪

BOLD ALL THAT APPLY.

arse / ass / asshole / bastard / bitch / bloody / bugger / bollocks / chicken shit / crap / cunt / dick / frick / fuck / horseshit / motherfucker / piss / prick / pussy / screw / shit / shitass / son of a bitch / twat / wanker

— THIS OR THAT.

straightforward or cryptic? / finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind? / masculinity, neutrality, or femininity? / formalities or with abrasiveness? / praise or equivocation? / frankness or lies? / excessive or minimal hand gestures? / name-calling or magnanimity? / friendly or blunt?

— IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.

DO PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING OR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHARACTER? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never [they have a lower voice and often have to raise their voice to be heard]

DOES YOUR CHARACTER'S POINT COME ACROSS EASILY WHEN THEY SPEAK? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER INITIATE CONVERSATIONS? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never [the only time they really do is if it's getting a job or to report back, but even then, they typically just show up and wait until someone else speaks first]

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE THE ONE TO END CONVERSATIONS? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never

WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE 'WHOM' IN A SENTENCE? yes / no / only ironically

YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO MAKE A COUNTERPOINT, WHAT WORD DO THEY USE? but / though / although / however / perhaps / mayhaps

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER END CONVERSATIONS? walk away / ask if that's everything / say that's everything / give a proper goodbye / tell their company they're here / remain quiet / they don't [it's the not understanding social cues for me. no, really, sometimes they have to be told they can go]

WHAT SOCIAL CLASS WOULD OTHERS ASSUME YOUR CHARACTER BELONG TO, HEARING THEM SPEAK? upper / middle / lower

IN WHAT WAYS DOES THE WAY YOUR CHARACTER SPEAK STAND OUT TO OTHERS? accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / it doesn't

[vampelune]

kamukomahina gender/body headcanons

a bit of a ramble about my body, gender, and general appearance headcanons for them bcuz someone sent me a curiouscat prompting this 3k words of hyperfixation nonsense

Komaeda:

- He has a naturally lithe body, with a thin waist, broad shoulders and hips, which give him an hourglass. and a rather andrognyous body, which is "lucky" for him, because I hc him as nonbinary and gender non-conforming

- Gender-wise, as I said, I think he's nonbinary. Usually I do view Nagito as AMAB but I indulge in transmasc Nagito from time to time depending on my preference and how much I wish to uh, well, project, lol. But either way I think he would use he/they pronouns in a western sense. In japanese, however, they don't use third person pronouns that other people refer to them with, and in canon he uses the first person pronoun "boku", which is a "soft" masculine pronoun, in comparison to the "hard" masculine pronoun, “ore” (which Hajime uses btw!) which fits quite nicely, in my opinion! Also, in Japanese, you can be 'fluid' with your first person pronouns depending on the situation, so I think he could use more neutral or feminine pronouns should he desire it, too, to play on his gender non-conformity.

- Komaeda is very secure in his gender, regardless of being AMAB or AFAB. He does not care about stigma, or discrimination, he does not care about being "accepted" by broader society. Broader society is sort of meaningless to him, the average person and their ideas about gender and presentation and effeminity mean NOTHING to him. Whether or not a random person the street genders him correctly or treats him with respect is sort of, pointless? Because to him, most ordinary people are pointless nobodies. Their thoughts do not matter to him. I think he is still prone to insecurity, however, when around his "betters" but I just struggle to think he would degrade himself in regards to gender. to him, it's the least of his problems. what he cares about is hope and talent. He could dress femininely or wear makeup or straight up crossdress and not mind it, really. He thinks people would find a problem with it are the problem, because why does it even matter? It speaks to the way Komaeda is detached from societal norms & "normal" people, he did not grow up in normal circumstances, so he doesn't interact with the world normally by any means. he can mask and act normally to the best of his ability, often unintentionally?, but he simply does not fit into broader society and doesn't seek to.

- Komaeda loses weight really easily, and doesn't gain weight that well. This is mainly due to his many illnesses but also the medications he's been put on. He has a low appetite and burns weight rather easily, even though I headcanon that he eats like garbage (mainly junk food & takeout, since he obviously cannot cook). This makes him overall, health wise, not very healthy, and stick thin because of it. A stiff breeze could knock him over, tbh.

- He has a lot of faded scars, self-inflicted or not.

- Pre-despair (in HPA) he is fairly healthy but still lithe, and progressively his body deteriorates through his 2 years of hopes peak before the Tragedy begins.

- During the Tragedy itself, his body is at it's worst. he is almost nothing but bone at times, barely kept together by a need to live so he can see hope triumph. His weight fluctuates but he's very unhealthy. He's not anorexic or on death's door, but he's not well off, either.

- After being put into the neo world program, right after waking up, he's very, very thin and gaunt. he was in a pod on feeding tubs for an indiscernible but at least probably a month's worth of time? So he's just very weak, like he could collapse if he moves too quickly.

- But a while after waking, he goes into remission, and starts to gain more healthy habits due to being rehabilitated and cared for by Hinata, and gains some weight, finally at a healthy, normal weight. I still think he would struggle with putting on too much weight, but I am slightly fond of the idea that he gets a bit of healthy pudge after a while. To him, it's so foreign being healthy, that he honestly think something's wrong with him at first.

Hinata:

- Hinata has a very... average body, true to form. His hips and waist aren't too pronounced but he has a loosely "hourglass" shape, too, just not as exaggerated as Komaeda's in comparison.

- Gender-wise, I am EXTREMELY fond of transmasc Hinata. While I think I portray AMAB Hinata more than transmasc Hinata (in art and writing), I still firmly prefer transmasc Hinata. The reason I think portray otherwise more is just out of comfortability, but I've been getting better at comfortably portraying FTM Hinata. I have some reasons I prefer it and think you can extrapolate it from canon, but let's get into that

- Hinata, in my eyes, has an arc and story that fits perfectly into him just. Being trans. His desire to be someone else, someone better, someone he can proud of, and the way he overcompensates for himself and has an extreme inferiority complex would easily lend to him having similar feelings about his gender. To me, Hinata is a trans man who overperforms his masculinity out of insecurity and a need to pass. I see him as someone who would strictly use "he/him" in a western sense, which is lended to by his use of the "ore" pronoun in canon, which is almost hypermasculine.

- Even if he were AMAB, I think it still works, I think he's still someone who's insecure and tries to assert himself more strongly and therefore performs masculinity in a way to appear more confident than he is.

(side note: I actually read a bit about queerness in Japan and how it relates to gender performance and the use of pronouns, and read a bit about how queer women in japan tend to use "boku" and "ore" to perform masculinity, which I find neat. “Ore” was also sometimes used exclusively to show anger and dominance, which is why it's categorized as a "rough" pronoun. I think Japanese language, gender, and expression, and how those all relate to one another, are extremely interesting and if you get the time you should read about it lol)

- Body-wise, pre-despair, I think Hinata would. not have top surgery, obviously. I think he has a fairly average but leaning a little on the hefty side chest (pre-op) and binds it, hence the '91 cm' (but also he still has 91 cm post-op because bazongas). I also just think he leans on the "twunk" side of things at this point, not buff but not stick thin or without muscle, just kind of average with average strength and all, though I think Hinata would've tried to do sports and stuff to find his talent so he's in shape :)

- My personal, kind of amusing, but also kind of... thematical? Headcanon, is that during the Kamukura project, he also underwent gender transition. to be honest, while it may not make sense in modern Japan, I think we can suspend our disbelief for fiction, and also make the argument that Hinata's "transition" into Kamukura CAN be read, in some part, as relatable or at least familiar to the trans experience. Iit is not out of the realm of possibility, either, to assume that because many bits of society in Danganronpa are advanced (specifically science, is extremely ahead of our understanding, almost sci-fi like at times) certain attitudes about gender and sexuality can be smoothed over more in a Japanese context.

(side note: I also think that science-wise, we can suspend our disbelief, and assume that top surgery and bottom surgery are much more advanced in this universe, given the almost unbelievable levels of science in Danganronpa, such as memory wipe, mind control, completely realistic virtual simulation, um literally everything about Kamukura which is body modification and brain modification to an extreme, etc. I think it's kind of fitting within these to assume that... Hinata/Kamukura could just, gain a functioning penis, lol)

Kamukura:

- Kamukura would have a. "Perfect" body. it's stated, I'm pretty sure, that they modified not only his brain but his body, because he needs to be able to perform every talent under their belt with ease, and his strength, instincts, technique, are all superhuman. So it's clear to me he'd have a buff body. toned muscles and all. He wouldn't really feel a need to keep it up, though, but I think since they're very... artificial (basically fucking steroids?) they wouldn't fade from a lack of keep-up.

- Kamukura also rarely ever is injured, but when he does, his body heals rather fast and can care for himself adequately, because again, his body is modified to a point of almost inhumanity.

- Gender wise, Kamukura genuinely does not care. however, I am not one to think that Kamukura is "a different person" from Hinata, rather, he is separate from Hinata, but an extension of Hinata as well, proven that he experiences some of his emotions even if subconsciously and without understanding them. he isn't a different personality or person developed in Hinata's body, but a very traumatizing, repressed, and manipulated version of Hinata given a new name, with memories repressed. He's like Theseus's ship in human form---if you get rid of everything that makes someone themselves and replace it, bit by bit, is it the same person? Technically, yes, but... truly? Who knows. 

Because of this, I think Kamukura would have a leaning toward masculine gender performance (in canon, in fact, he uses the soft masculine pronoun "boku" in stead of "ore" like Hinata) BUT I think he is still very nonbinary. In a western sense, i think he would use he/they pronouns, but not really care if someone mistook him for a woman, I suppose.

- His appearance, unironically, is very nonbinary or "he/they" to me because he's wearing a suit, the archetypal form of masculinity, but has extremely long hair, which is considered feminine, and speaks softly (dully). Of course, the bishounen "pretty boy" appearance isn't uncommon or considered less masculine in japan, I think, but there is still a different between soft masculinity and rough masculinity in japan, which lends itself to being interpreted sort of gender non-conforming by western audiences :)

- Kamukura, due to his apathy, struggles with self-maintaining, but as we all probably know i am extremely attached to KamuKoma and thus headcanon that Servant helps him, sort of like a royal servant would royalty in the old days, take care of himself by bathing him, brushing his hair out, grooming him, etc. partially out of duty, partially out of appreciation for Kamukura's body, and partially out of maintaining his sort of "perfect" look since Kamukura, especially post-Junko death, is perceived widely by the public as the new leader of the ultimate despair, even if he is ambivalent to such a title.

Post-DR3 Hinata/Kamukura combined:

As I rambled on about previously, I don't think that Kamukura and Hinata are separate people or personality, I really dislike the interpretation that they are like a "split personality" or operate like DID, because they do not "form" like DID, but also in canon, are not portrayed as separate people.

In post-dr3, Hinata instead says that he is both of them, because he is. Kamukura is Hinata, always was, but had been given a new, false identity, had been stripped of his previous self, his memories, his personality, and crafted into something new. but that did not "split" his brain into two people. It simply repressed who he once was, and made him someone he now was. But when Kamukura regains his memories, his past self, through the means of the new world program by restoring his own memories after SDR2 concludes and he wakes up, as well as doing the same for everyone else, he decides to be "Hajime Hinata" who he always was, but carrying and shouldering the weight of what "Izuru Kamukura" had been, become, and done. Hinata *is* Kamukura, he answers for Kamukura's wrongdoings, his crimes, as something he had done as a different person who's mind operated differently, due to being artificially suppressed, modified, into an apathetic tool for the scientists who made him, and later and aimless, bored individual who simply sought meaning he did not have in the unknown of what despair would be at it's climax. And if hope could overcome it.

As such, I think, when Hinata's self is brought back into the mix, and he now deals with Kamukura's apathy and boredom in part, but much less consuming and much less often, I think hinata is less staunchly "masculine", does not overperform it anymore, and is trying to understand what his past means to him, what his present is, and what his future will be. I think that Hinata would still primarily use he/him (or still use "ore" in Japanese, as it's also a means of his personality, which is a bit rough around the edges and blunt), but be more ambivalent to rigid gender expression, still finding comfort and idealness in masculinity, but not be made dysphoric or feel frightened, uncomfortable, with non-comformity or anything like that. being boyish, masculine, is what he enjoys, but he's comfortable in it now, doesn't need to prove himself or overperform it. He can explore nonconformity without feeling like his gender or masculinity is at threat, even if it's not his preference outright.

Body-wise, I think it's safe to say he retains Kamukura's muscle and all, but Kamukura didn't put much effort into the everyday machinations of being a human being in general, and Hinata is much more fond of food than him now, eats more often, and I enjoy the idea that he gains a little pudge and has a kind of "dad bod" almost, post-DR3? lol.

Both for Hinata and Kamukura I don't see their bodies as “bara” or overly buff, masculine, but a kind of comfortable middle ground between twunk and hunk, lmao. I think they're also averagely hairy, not overly so, very lightly. kind of well groomed, and all. Hinata, pre-despair, put not so much effort into his appearance but still some, especially in trying to pass. (In fact I think his hair cut looks like a home job, all choppy and stuff, which fits him in my opinion, something done by his own hands even if messy and imperfect, he still prefers to be in control of it. also fits the trans headcanon tehe).

Izuru put very little if any effort into himself, only the bare minimum necessary to function, but servant helped him upkeep it to a perfect standard. Hinata, post-dr3 now, finds himself putting you know, an average amount of care into himself and his body, enough to be healthy, but not overly critical and conscious of himself.

Komaeda i have always seen as someone who takes a good deal of care about himself, merely if to alleviate the "disgust" of his appearance and body, by practically preening himself. He is someone who is good at cleaning and seems to appreciate clean and well kept spaces, so I think he would have a similar attitude toward himself. even if he is insecure, and of course, struggles with mental health and may slip at times in his routine in keeping himself well-kept, I think he still maintains an appearance for the most part, at least in his later years (teen to young adult). An argument can be made that he cared less in his adolescence because he had much more apathy about the world, but when he gave himself a purpose with hope and talent, I think he would care for himself a little better, even if his was spiralling mentally.

His hair is always washed, it is just very curly and prone to mess, so it often looks like perpetual bedhead, even when he combs and brushes it. His skin is soft even if a little worn by his tendency for accidents & injury, it's still soft and almost luckily so, and he takes pride in moisturizing and cleaning himself. His skin is a little sickly, still, and I think that despite having blemishes, scars, etc. Komaeda manages to look pretty in a strange way, not conventionally beautiful, but almost ethereal? He's just *pretty*, there's no way to explain it, he is nice to look at even with all his "flaws" and imperfections. Even when he's sickly and bony, even when his cheeks are gaunt or his hands shaky and weak, when his hair is a tangled mess or his clothes are dirty, he's nice to look at in a way that's nonconventional, and it's sort of mesmerizing.

Hinata I think is very average but also in a way that's nice to look at it. He's not ground-breaking hot or conventionally attractive, he has a good body, a nice face, and hair you could play with a little if you wanted. I think what's appealing about him is his normalcy, he's not trying too hard or "gifted" gene wise, but he's just kinda nice to look at, he's enjoyable to be around, an understanding person, or at least tries to be even when he fails, and despite having flaws, insecurities, blunt, he is someone you're drawn to because he's one of those people that's just, easy to talk to? An emotional anchor, almost. The kind of guy everyone kind of knows and has talked to at least once, even if you're not friends with him personally, not because he's cool or popular or anything, but because he's a normal dude who's easy to trust and talk to.

Kamukura, on the other hand, is intimidating, appearance wise and personality wise. he looks, strange, anything but normal, his eyes are red and his hair is this dark cloud that envelops him. His face may still be that plain one Hinata has but faces can be changed by the surrounding attributes as well as expression and such is true for him, with his apathetic and cold expression as well as otherwordly characteristics, he comes off as much more beautiful in a dark way, kind of? In a way that's intimidating or a little daunting, but he's still very beautiful. mesmerizing.

okay, thats my ramble. ty.

[yerbamansa]

I have too many feelings about Our Flag Means Death not to post them on Tumblr

So in the last week I’ve watched all ten episodes of the single season of Our Flag Means Death four times. It’s about five hours of screen time per binge, but still, that’s… a lot, right? I am fucking fixated on this shit. It’s a rabbit hole of joy and fandom brain rot (as the kids say).

On my fourth viewing, I took a pen–pink, a color I rarely use except for contrast–and wrote down quotes and notes. I filled 18½ pages. My hand hurts; gripping a pen and applying pressure to get a clean stroke hurts after a short while. Getting old, I guess. But I treated it like I was doing research for a grad school project, like I was trying to identify a thesis, a reason for my sudden and swift obsession. Like, I love TV–I rewatch favorites repeatedly and follow new shows pretty regularly. Things like Star Trek are often on my mind and I love to talk about them and look at memes. But only once before can I recall falling into a proverbial k-hole of focus on a show and every goddamn thing about and around it I can consume. That show, of course, was Schitt’s Creek, and I had four seasons of material to go on by then, but I got really into the then-smallish fandom and wrote fic and cosplayed and joined chats and watched every thing I could track down with Dan Levy. Oh, and I came out as nonbinary, at least to some people.

The rest I'll put under a cut because I rambled all day.

My ardor for that series has waned somewhat (David’s ultimate path didn’t resonate, which I know is nigh-sacrilege for the wedding-focused fandom, and for ~*personal reasons*~ I really wanted Stevie to explore a queer romance, alas) but so many people I know still associate me with being a fan. I mean, sure, I literally named my rabbit after David Rose and gave them an Instagram account, but I’ve moved on. (You can still DM me with your Schitt’s stuff, though. It makes me happy to know you’re thinking of me and enjoying something I hoped you’d enjoy.) At any rate, I wasn’t expecting another obsession to hit like that; maybe it was a fluke. Then I watched the gay pirate romcom.

Romantic comedies are not, strictly speaking, my jam. I don’t really enjoy romances. Most romcoms lack in the “comedy” department for my taste. And pirates? I mean, as a narrative setting, meh, it’s fine. (I WILL go back and finish watching Black Sails eventually, I promise, but generally…) The “gay” part, well, sure, I appreciate representational media. It can be a mixed bag. But if you’ve read this far, you either already know or can guess that none of these objections fit OFMD. In terms of comedy, it’s a goddamn powerhouse of international comedy legends. Romance? It’s sweet and lovely without being cloying or obsessed with marriage et cetera (that’s just…a thing I get really bored with…). And it’s not too sweet to totally skimp on the horrific reality of piracy, at least as much as one can to fit the romcom tone. Also basically every on-screen relationship bar one is queer in some way, and there’s a nonbinary pirate played by a nonbinary actor, just for bonus points.

But why the everloving fuck did I get obsessed with it??? The conclusion I’ve come to is that the show somehow let me experience gender euphoria by proxy. Not just because of Jim Jimenez–that’s a nice affinity, and I’ve enjoyed Vico Ortiz in other stuff, so it’s a freakin’ delight to see them in something with such an active, engaged fanbase; their social media is on fire–but for reasons that, as close as I can figure, are the same as something that made me super obsessed with Schitt’s Creek before: the portrayal of masculinity.

As an AFAB nonbinary person who didn’t figure out such labels could apply until their late 30s, I’ve got my own view of masculinity and femininity. (As anyone who’s ever explored gender should.) For me, it’s not so much that I want to be more masculine (shit’s scary, societally speaking) but read as less feminine. That’s just my body. Bodies without hips and large breasts and the things they can convey with their fashion are just…not what I can do. At least not with my budget. “Feminine” touches with menswear cuts, and so on. When I see folks with a style I covet, it transfixes me a bit. I’d love to be able to wear a dress and paint my nails in a boyish way. Rock an impeccable suit with color and pattern and a little jewelry. That’d just be neat. So somewhere between fashion icon David Rose’s enviable wardrobe of black and white couture knits and these funny gay pirates I’ve got feelings I wanna live in for as long as I can since I can’t try on the real thing. (Or, well. A longer thought there is the point of an entirely different ramble.)

I’m just gonna write up thoughts on our key players. What a segue. Anyway, spoilers abound.

Stede Bonnet: The Gentleman Pirate

For all his childhood trauma, a joyless arranged marriage, and clear naivete, Stede is a man who strikes me as surprisingly secure in himself. He may not be able to articulate exactly what he wants, but he knows the world he comes from wasn’t made for him, and he actively takes the pieces that work for him and rejects the rest. He loves the finer things–his library, suite decor, and secret auxiliary closet serve as ample evidence of that–and doesn’t become a pirate to collect everyone else’s finery. He’s in it for adventure, which is a fucking wild, privileged reason to do anything. What he takes from his old life is a comfort and, he hopes, a launching pad. People in his aristocratic world didn’t take him seriously, but he did. And he wants to share it, but there’s a mismatch between what he’s got to offer and the things the people he meets in the pirate life need. This does not deter him.

What happens to Stede over the course of the season reflects his growth–in confidence, in love, and in himself–but not a fundamental change in who Stede is. He can relinquish some of the finery when he’s finally figured out what he wants, but we know it’s still part of him. (My god, when he gets back to the Revenge and confronts what’s been thrown overboard (and what’s maybe been kept), it’s gonna be a moment.) He can add and remove identity accessories without losing that sense of self.

I find this guy confusingly relatable. I’m not a drama queen with an outfit for every occasion, but I am more likely to retreat than engage when off-putting chaos swirls around me. I would also very likely find myself “uncomfortable in a married state.” I like being in charge, even though I’m not always good at it. I’m easily haunted by my own failures. And I, too, am more than a little mesmerized at the sight of Taika Waititi in a salt-and-pepper wig and beard and aging rockstar leather getup. (Whomst among us…)

Edward Teach: Blackbeard the Pirate

Born on a beach, became the Kraken. Watching this disaster wrestle with his fragmented personas was a roller coaster. Young Edward was drawn to the finer things that, as his mother tells him, aren’t for people like him–God says. So when he meets the Gentleman Pirate, “God’s perfect little rich boy” as an enemy later describes Stede, someone who chose this life, who chose to share his finery, he’s into it. Despite himself. 

When Stede asks him if he “works for Blackbeard,” he has to consider it. It’s not that everything about him is a facade, but “Blackbeard” is ultimately a constructed brand for pirating. Ed Teach has a tendency to become the person he needs to be for the moment, for the people that surround him. He’s Blackbeard for Izzy; Blackie for Calico Jack (a nickname as gross as their relationship tbh), a jovial (if occasionally menacing) Co-captain to the crew, and Ed to Stede. Izzy might call him by his name and his title interchangeably, but over time, even he can see they are not the same. Stede gets to know Edward, someone maybe no one else has ever known, and he finds that he really likes being Edward, or at least being Edward with Stede. That Edward isn’t putting on a mask. Maybe he’s not even sure why, but he seems to trust Stede implicitly, and that trust only builds and builds until it collapses.

Everyone knows who Blackbeard is, except Blackbeard. The Blackbeard he presents to the crew of the Revenge is seemingly not the same one his own crew is used to. It’s not the same Ed Stede knows, but it isn’t exactly a terrifying pirate persona, either. Co-captain Blackbeard is affable, sometimes almost whimsical; a storyteller, prankster. Any grumpiness is easily explained away as the too-cool veneer of a man who’s all too aware of his profile (Lucian even calls him on it when they’re on Stede’s ill-fated treasure hunt). When his mental state crumbles after he returns to the ship sans Stede, the veneer is dropped entirely. He tells the crew to call him Edward, celebrates their talent and artistry, and babbles about giving up piracy altogether. Both Izzy and Lucian can tell he’s not OK, but the ways they try to help are diametrically opposed. To everyone else, he’s just having fun. The chaos, I think, is Ed not even knowing (or caring) anymore who he is and who he has to be for others.

 When he becomes the Kraken, it’s for himself–to protect himself from the pain of being known. Known by Stede, who left him at that dock, and by the crew with whom he’s grown far too informal. Of anyone knowing that he’s always been the Kraken, in his own mind and mythology. In this persona, Izzy sees his Blackbeard, but he probably doesn’t see the man behind the mask sobbing at the sight of a lighthouse painting. Ed knows better than to let anyone see that, now. The Kraken might be a self-loathing monster, but no one gets to hurt him anymore. The Kraken is appropriately terrifying, but he also makes me so fuckin’ sad, and not just because Stede is free and coming back to him.

I don’t know that Stede ever recognized these shifting personas within Ed. I think Ed was only becoming aware of them himself, through his ennui and through getting to know Stede. Stede’s sense of self is stable enough that he might not be able to conceive of the vulnerability Ed’s shown him. He hasn’t got a frame of reference for it. To him, Ed is Blackbeard and Blackbeard is Ed. When he gets hints of it–like when he sees Ed’s shaved face for the first time, and Ed tells him Blackbeard is old news–he’s worried, maybe, that Ed’s losing himself and it’s all Stede’s fault. He can’t have another regret weighing on him like that.

Jim Jimenez fka Bonifacia

The only people confused about Jim’s identity are the other crew of the Revenge who argue about whether or not “Jim” is a girl’s name and if women attract demons. They get over it. Jim is the Inigo Montoya of OFMD, except they also get a boyfriend. I love this journey for them.

Death as a Metaphor and a Promise

The crew of the Revenge creates flags to advertise the promise of future suffering and death for any who might cross their path. Everyone fears death at the hands of Blackbeard (even if, as he admits to Stede, he hasn’t personally killed anyone since he murdered his own father in the Kraken origin story). But these are literal deaths. The story mainly concerns metaphorical deaths; transitions from one identity to another, from one persona to another.

Stede’s marriage begins with the specter of death (the gravestones as a wedding gift), one he eschews only to die another way, by being responsible for the death of another man. (One of his childhood bullies, in fact. A fact that is never lost on him, even if he fixates on the man’s death and his part in it rather than the torture he lived through to get there.) But he didn’t escape the original specter until he returned home to resolve it–with his own faked death, in concert with his wife, her lover, and their children. Now he’s finally free.

Ed initially sees Stede as a way for Blackbeard to die–an opportunity to steal the Gentleman Pirate’s identity and fuck off with his purloined finery, just for kicks. He’s bored of this persona he built for himself but feels stuck in it, so why not “die”? Later, he very nearly accomplishes killing Blackbeard for good when he submits himself alongside Stede for an Act of Grace pardon. When he tells Stede he’s happy just to be with him and suggests they create new identities and run away together, he suggests he hopes that death is permanent, but Stede, unfortunately, has his own death to attend to first. The Kraken, then, and its flag with the demon harpooning a heart, promises a death to others that he couldn’t give himself.

The focus on metaphorical deaths is a bit funny, considering I expect any future seasons will not strictly adhere to the literal death timelines of these characters.

OK But What About Your Feelings?

There is absolutely no way anyone reading this diatribe had this thought.

But since I’m asking… fuck. So like, I’m on the low end of middle age. That feeling of wanting something more, of is that all there is, is real. Especially with regard to how I’m performing gender and such. To being comfortable with being out more. To doing…something about that, whatever the fuck that means. To some kind of new adventure. It’s not as exciting as life on the high seas during the Golden Age of Piracy, and I’m not half as funny as these people, but I am trying to understand what exactly it was about something that, yes, is already the kind of show I’d just enjoy the hell out of, but it wormed its way into my tired little brain and fucked me up for a solid week, maybe more.

[phantastus]

Is there any symbolism behind the bird scientific names tags representing Silent Hill characters? Like, did you pick them for any particular reasons? 👀

Oh man, well, I guess I never went into detail about them anywhere. They definitely were picked for a reason but the reason is related to a currently-unwritten fanfic and literally who knows when that’s going to happen (Gravity needs to get finished first and who knows when that’s going to happen :’]), so I might as well try and do it now.

When I was in college I started coming up with concepts and symbolism for a fic project and because I’m obsessed with birds all of it involved birds and the title of the fic was appropriately “Four and Twenty Blackbirds”, with the ‘four’ specifically referring to Harry, James, Heather, and Henry (because they were the main characters). Each of them had a different ‘blackbird’ species representing them. 

So when I decided to make separate aesthetic/inspo tags for individual characters (I already have a #silent feels tag for general SH inspiration, but I am crazy and it was NOT CONVOLUTED ENOUGH FOR ME), I decided to use the scientific bird names since it was conveniently already cemented in my brain. THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY, VERY LONG SO I’M PUTTING IT UNDER A READMORE. Click for pretentious Silent Hill fan analysis.

HARRY MASON | CORVUS BRACHYRYNCHOS (American Crow)

Harry Mason is the “”generic”” all-American protagonist who rises to a heroic status pretty much out of sheer determination and a commitment to his loved one. He’s not an unusual person, in fact he’s deceptively normal-- so the American crow felt right for him since they’re so common. You see them so often you don’t even think about them, but they’re smart, resourceful, and resilient survivors (something that especially comes into play with Harry post-SH1 when he’s eluding the Order). Harry is underestimated because of his normalcy but he’s capable of incredible things.

Also crows (and other corvids) have deep, almost humanlike family bonds between parents and offspring. They’ll maintain relationships even after the babies grow up and become fully self-sufficient, with the adult children regularly visiting their parents and socializing or helping to take care of younger siblings.

In the context of the fic Harry’s symbolic/prophetic connection to such a common “pest” species is sort of a derogatory assignment on the part of the Order/the town, as he’s seen as a heretic troublemaker (CULTS HATE HIM!! LOCAL MAN STEALS MESSIAH AND THWARTS FATE WITH ONE COOL TRICK!)

JAMES SUNDERLAND | CORVUS CORAX (Common Raven)

Ravens are like the most symbolic corvid, every gothic poet/novelist/artist and their grandma used them to represent death, grief and malaise, and James’s story is nothing if not filled with all three of those things. I mean, come on:    “By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—    Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,    It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore— Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”            Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.” -Edgar Allen Poe, u know where it’s from.

Also in college, I got very interested in the myth “Raven Steals the Sun”, which has a number of different variations (it’s a story shared across multiple First Nations peoples of the Pacific Northwest and Alaska, there’s no one clear origin-- you can read about a couple of versions here!) but most involve the titular Raven delivering the Sun to the world after stealing or freeing it from a dark place where it was kept. Depending on the version, Raven's motives can either be purely selfish or more benevolent, and sometimes starts the story as a pure white bird who is stained black with soot in the act of taking the Sun. The duality of Raven’s intentions as well as the theme of light/warmth being hidden in darkness until it’s brought out felt fitting for a character whose motivations are complex and left a little ambiguous in canon (James grapples with whether his own act was purely selfish or one of love/mercy) AND someone who is naturally warm and caring but slipped behind a cold, dark wall of depression and self-isolation. The theme of being permanently marked/transformed by an act, whether for good or for bad, felt fitting too.

(Obligatory Disclaimer That My (Very White) Personal Interpretation Should Not Remotely Be Considered An Authentic Take On The Myth And Is Not Intended To Be Appropriation. For fic purposes the story would only have come up as an interesting symbolic parallel/running motif among many others, not a Literal Connection. James is a clueless white dude and Silent Hill doesn’t even take place on the west coast.)

“BUT WAIT! Doesn’t stealing the sun from a malevolent party and freeing it sound sort of like Harry rescuing Alessa/Cheryl/Heather??” Yes, this was going to be a source of in-character confusion and a surprise twist when it turns out they got their birds mixed up. Blah blah nothing is as it seems and destiny is mutable.

One time while I was walking on a foggy beach I got followed around by an enormous raven who was just sort of waddle-hopping after me looking forlorn and scruffy and the experience stuck with me and now all these years later my enormous galaxy brain is just like “That was Big James Energy”.

Wow that was long, I’m sorry.

HENRY TOWNSHEND | CORVUS FRUGILEGUS (Rook)

The most obvious symbolism is probably the chess piece with the same name-- that felt fitting for Henry since he’s probably the protagonist who has to do the most strategizing. Between his limited inventory and his progressively-more-cursed apartment and escorting Eileen and his five billion trips across multiple fractured Otherworlds, my poor guy has a lot to mentally keep track of. In the fic, he was going to wind up being the one to keep track of all the weird complicated bullshit items and rituals they had to complete to get through the Otherworld.

The rook chess piece also resembles a castle, and unlike the other protagonists whose stories progress in a linear fashion, Henry operates from/returns to his home base shitty cursed apartment.

BUT ONTO THE BIRD the rook is a corvid like the crow and the raven, and shares their pest/death omen status in popular culture. Just appropriate for SH protags in general since they keep getting in the way of the cult’s business and also misfortune follows them.

In the SH3 Crematorium Puzzle (I’ll talk more about that in Heather’s section), there is a poem:    "The black Rook is the praying sort    Who hears the gods in the skies    His whispered petitions go on without end    And glassy and dim are his eyes" Obviously this does NOT describe Henry as a person, but it IS eerily reminiscent of the title that was thrust upon him: Receiver. Maybe if Walter’s plans had succeeded, this is how Henry would have ended up.

There is also an old belief that if rooks abandon an established “rookery” (place where they regularly roost), it’s a sign of calamity to follow. If Henry the Certified Homebody (tm) bursts out of the apartment complex and goes staggering down the street, you should get out of that apartment complex.

HEATHER MASON | AGELAIUS PHOENICEUS (Red-Winged Blackbird)

Oh boy this one’s probably the weirdest but here we go.

The first obvious thing is that unlike the other three, the red-winged blackbird is not actually a corvid (it’s from the Icteridae family, not the Corvidae family). In-universe, this was supposed to represent Heather being inherently different from the rest (like... she basically is an iteration of the Silent Hill deity), even if she seems to be a normal human. Harry’s act of stealing her from the Order and changing her appearance/name to hide her was going to be depicted as “dousing Her in black ink, but [the ink] not able to fully conceal Her radiance”. The red and gold shoulders of the blackbird visually symbolize her “””true nature””” peeking out.

I also associate her specifically with the MALE red-winged blackbird (the female looks completely different, hooray sexual dimorphism) because gender is a fuck and Heather understandably has some really intense and complicated issues with womanhood/femininity. One of my favorite aspects of her as a character is how she blurs the line between masculine and feminine, especially since she’s been through so much... extremely gendered violence, to put it lightly. Heather Mason says FUCK YOUR GENDER BINARY.

As a fun side-note, Heather is also represented (or appears to be, ymmv) by a bird in canon! The SH3 Crematorium puzzle (on hard mode) features a series of poems each about birds, and each one represents a character if you squint. Heather seems to be referenced in this one:     "The Wren, with pure heart as yet unrefined     Makes us laugh with his feeble lip-smacking     But still we all know he shall never grow old     And he knows not how much he is lacking." Heather’s role as a brash, foolhardy youth who talks tough to cope is pretty blatantly summed up in there, as is the fact that she’s... functionally immortal and keeps fucking reincarnating. The wren, a plucky little bird, is perfect for her. The part of the main riddle that references the wren is also... ominously on the nose, given Heather’s backstory:     "Burn the one who knows no death     Pure, adored by those above     No prayers within, just simple love.”

YET ANOTHER CREMATORIUM POEM could be construed as representing the town’s God (or the spiritual force of the land, w/e), damaged/corrupted/turned malevolent by All The Bullshit:     "The Kite, hot, crazy, and panting mad     Sweet shackles that tease and excite     Death itself would drive him wild     Red blood that turns milky white"  Heather is a pure-hearted protagonist in one sense, but there’s plenty of not-so-subtle hints to a bloodlust and desire for violence just waiting to break free (ESPECIALLY when Heather does certain things that could be considered taking on the role of God). So to me the Kite is what happens when Heather gets sick of being nice and decides to go apeshit.

“BUT WAIT what does this have to do with the red-winged blackbird?” The inherent trinity of Heather’s character (Alessa/Cheryl/Heather, the Mother of God/Daughter of God/God Herself) deserves a bird trinity too. I’M GREEDY, I WANT *ALL* THE BIRD METAPHORS!

Red-winged blackbirds are bold little shits who will straight up harass birds of prey. Kind of like Heather does to God.

The fact that “phoeniceus” was part of the scientific name was a VERY delightful coincidence-- but I’m not complaining about how satisfying I found it that my Bird Choice (tm) inadvertently connects her to the concept of the phoenix, poster child of pyrogenesis.

That was even longer than James’, I’m so sorry.

SO THAT’S THE META BEHIND THOSE CHOICES FOR THE FOUR MAIN CHARACTERS. If you’re still interested after all that BS, I can write up another (probably much shorter) post for the other characters. Thanks for the ask!

[girunit]

LINGUISTIC CHARACTERISTICS .

Muse:  Gir! # of spoken languages:  1½  / 2 / 3+ (verse dependent; robot Gir can speak Literally Any Language, cyborg Gir likes learning languages for fun but struggles focusing on it. Mostly, he knows English and Spanish.) Tone of voice:   high / average / deep Accent:  yes  /  soft /  no? Demeanor:  confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other (...weird.) Posture:  slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed Habits: head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing / arm crossing / strokes chin / ah, er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact (overcorrects, comes off as “creepy” or a blank stare) / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at distance

Complexity

Vocabulary:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ✩ Emotion: ★ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ Sentence Structure:  ★ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ Profanity:  ★ ★ ✩ ✩ ✩

Frequency:  ★ ★ ✩ ✩ ✩ Creativity:   ★ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ Watchfulness:   ★ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ 

Bold all that apply:

Arse. Ass. Asshole. Bastard. Bitch. Bloody. Bugger. Bollocks. Chicken shit. Crap. C*nt. D*ck. Frick. Fuck. Horseshit. Motherfucker. Piss. Prick. Screw. Shit. Shitass. Son of a bitch. Twat. Wanker. Coward. P*ssy. Wh*re.

This or that?

Contractions or enunciation? Straightforward or cryptic? Jargon or toned? Complexity or simplicity?  Finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind? Masculinity, neutrality, or femininity? Formalities or abrasiveness? Praise or equivocation? Frankness or lies? Excessive or minimal hand gestures? Name-calling or magnanimity? Friendly or blunt nicknames? (his nicknames are usually just the completely wrong name. hard to tell if he’s joking or genuinely doesn’t understand the purpose of nicknames.)

Important questions

Do people have a hard time understanding/hearing your character? Almost always / frequently / sometimes  / rarely / almost never

Does your character’s point come across easily when they speak? Almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / almost never

Would your character initiate conversations? Almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / almost never

Would your character be the one to end conversation? Almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / almost never

Would your character use ‘ whom ’ in a sentence? Yes / No

Your character wants to make a counterpoint. what word do they use? But / though / although / however / perhaps / mayhaps

How does your character end conversations? walk away / ask if that’s everything / say that that’s everything / give a proper goodbye / tell their company they’re done here / remain quiet / they don’t

How does your character address others? titles / first names / surnames / full names / nicknames

What social class would others assume your character belongs to, hearing them speak? upper /  middle /  working /  lower

In what ways does the way your character speak stand out to others? accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / volume /  it doesn’t

Elaboration / Facts

Gir understands jargon and will use it to communicate efficiently when he absolutely has to, but otherwise he speaks with EXTREMELY basic vocabulary. He likes to keep it simple, and he’s used to people having very little patience to listen to him.

Gir ONLY ever lies by omission or misdirection. Just a habit for cyborg Gir, but it’s a loophole in robot Gir’s programming.

Gir will often choose a word that’s more fun to say over a word that makes more sense or makes him look smarter. This tends to make him sound immature, because he likes saying ”ch,” “oo,” and “ee” sounds more than anything else. He’ll also draw those sounds out or emphasize them when he does get to say them.

He doesn’t use a lot of swear words, because most of them just aren’t that fun to say. He's also found that he gets funnier reactions from swearing when he does it less often, and people aren’t expecting it.

A lot of Gir’s more bizarre turns of phrase are from forgetting a word (just as likely to happen to simple words as it is to jargon), and either saying “UHHH” for several long seconds while he remembers it, or blurting out the closest equivalent he can think of (which isn’t always all that close).

Gir either slurs words terribly because he’s in a big hurry to get what he’s saying to catch up with what he’s thinking, or WAY over-enunciates to try and make up for that, no in between.

Cyborg Adult Gir’s speech patterns are still weird, but it doesn’t really get into straight-up baby talk territory the way robot Gir does.

Forcing my pedantic ass to try and boil down what I want to say into Gir’s vague and simple speech patterns is torture, and Gir is laughing at me.

Tagged by: @heylincorporated TYSM...deciphering the method behind the madness of Gir’s speaking style was a LOT of work and I appreciate the chance to ramble about it [kickflips]

Tagging: YOU

[tyrantisterror]

I might write a longer article about this on Horror Flora someday down the line, but I want to talk about it in brief right now.  Two tropes I absolutely love and see far too rarely in fantasy fiction are:

- male heroes who are compassionate, forgiving, and so reluctant to harm others that they are basically incapable of bringing themselves to kill

- female love interests who are Bad Girls; not in the standard Femme Fatale way, though, but rather in the “harsh, antisocial exterior that hides a very vulnerable person who desperately wants to be openly compassionate but is afraid of getting hurt” way.  Like brooding Bad Boys, but, y’know, ladies.

Not only are these tropes very rare, but they seem almost universally hated when they do crop up.  There is not a single compassionate pacifist male protagonist I can name whose fandom has not been PISSED that he isn’t a killer - not a single one who hasn’t had essays written about how poorly written he is because his writer didn’t make him immediately embrace the idea of slaughtering his enemies without hesitation.  Likewise, the even rarer Bad Girl is almost always written off as a hateful bitch, often with memes about how wretched and unsympathetic the fans find her to be.  She is always an incredibly divisive character, and the side of the fandom that hates her will always be more vocal.

The interesting thing is that if you switch the genders around, these character types become much more popular.  Female heroes who solve problems with compassion and forgiveness, who are reluctant to kill, are absurdly common.  Male love interests who have bitter, antisocial outer shells that hide sensitive, kind inner selves are incredibly common.  While I think both of these still get mocked a lot by men, they are at least allowed to exist in works that are written for a female audience.

And I think that’s the kicker - people hate these tropes because they are violating gender norms.  Even though we talk about fiction transcending gender boundaries as a positive nowadays (well, save for a vocal minority I suppose), we really only accept it when it comes from one direction - i.e. when female characters act as men do in fiction aimed for males.  A female character kicking ass?  Allowed.  She gets to step “up” to a heroic, positive masculine role.

But a male character stepping “down” to a traditionally feminine form of heroism - the heroism of compassion, understanding, and emotional sentimentality?  No, that’s not allowed.  Or worse, a woman taking on masculine flaws?  Oh god, no!  No no no!  Those are only allowed in men because it is “natural” for men to have them - a woman who is antisocial is being the polar opposite of what she is “supposed” to be.

We are *relatively* fine - more accepting, at the very least - of women stepping into masculine heroic roles, because that is viewed as progress, as an improvement.  We aren’t fine with men stepping into feminine heroic roles, or with women taking on masculine faults, because these are steps down - degenerations.

I think that’s really fucked up.

Necessary caveat: obviously backlash on the internet has shown that a good number of men on the internet AREN’T ok with female heroes, and likewise the general disrespect that media made for women - and thus media with compassionate female heroines and brooding bad boy love interests - shows that these things aren’t completely accepted either.  My point is that, in my own personal sphere of people I encounter, male heroes with the feminine traits of compassion and sentimentality, and female love interests with the personalities of brooding bad boys, are even less accepted by a notable degree.

[jedibongrip]

no one reminded me but i remembered so here are some thoughts

[cw for infidelity, a/b/o]

i think it WILL be a/b/o (omega obi wan, alpha anakin, alpha qui-gon)

qui-gon and obi-wan are married and like. qui-gon married obi-wan before he finished his bachelor's degree and then his plans for grad school kept getting pushed off because they had kids

qui-gon has, at the time where the story picks up, very much feminized obi-wan >:) long haired 30 y/o obi-wan, he wears feminine clothing, his kids call his mommy

this is despite obi-wan being relatively masculine when he met qui-gon. he had a buzzcut and he likes being rowdy and stuff. but over the years qui-gon nudged him away from all that so he's. a little uncomfortable most of the time.

(this is added with the not finishing his academic plans. like, he wants to be seen as smart and established. qui-gon used to LIKE that he was smart. but he's been out of school for so long, and all his friends went on to be lawyers or doctors or professionals before settling down, if they've even settled down yet. everyone he knows only sees him as a homemaker and a mother, including qui-gon at this point)

so basically. marital issues galore. (also. they do not fuck as much as obi-wan wants. this is relevant)

anyway.

the house next to them gets sold and rented to a bunch of uni students. theyre pretty nice, if loud, and they have a trampoline but theyre nice enough to let obi-wan's kids bounce on it with them

its also where a 20 year old alpha named anakin lives

and anakin is INTENSE okay? this is not a cute shy scenario

like he is awkward and handsome, but he's intense and very clearly has a crush on obi-wan

but he? kinda likes it?

it's just been so long since he's felt attractive or wanted or loved. it's been so long since anyone saw him as anything other than a mom or the person that cleans the house. he rarely gets to talk to his friends or anyone other than his kids, or his kid's friend's parents.

and this young, handsome alpha just seems so interested in obi-wan. he listens to him and talks to him about what he's learning in school. he humours all his stories about elementary school drama, and lets him rant about how his husband always complains about how he under-seasons food and yet never offers to make dinner or help him in the kitchen. anakin just looks at him with so much hunger and want and he's always coming over uninvited when obi-wan is home alone just to hang out with him and. even though it's... suspicious and looks bad, it's just so nice to be wanted again

there's def a point where obi-wan mentions how inconvenient he finds his long hair and anakin convinces him to get it cut short (like rots-era style) and says how good he'd look and obi-wan. does it. and qui-gon hates it, makes it very clear that he wanted obi-wan to stay pretty and cute and he is not pleased that obi-wan used his (qui-gon's) money for such an impulsive decision

so... kinda de-feminization, encouraged by anakin, mostly because he knows that qui-gon would hate

okay and honestly? if i write this i dont know if i want qui-gon to ~ disappear under mysterious circumstances ~ or if maybe. qui-gon reveals that he's also been having an affair whilst on all his business trips (which obi-wan has been using to have plenty of 'sleepovers' with his good friend ani) and kinda just. divorces obi-wan, unceremoniously. and on one hand obi-wan is relieved because he can be with anakin now, but on the other hand he is just so crushed, because despite it all he tried to be a good wife/husband and he did love qui-gon and to be so unloved by the man he married, to be tossed aside so fast, hurts so so much

in either case

anakin makes sure he's there to catch obi-wan's spiral >:) and unlike qui-gon he knows how to make sure his pretty little wife won't stray

someone remind me to write down my loose idea for another fanfic where i bully obiwan, make him cry, then give him a bittersweet happy ending