#i barely fucking remember where i started. there are 40 recurring themes and im trying to juggle them all to satisfying completion
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i am going to die at bitterloop's hands and it's literally not even good
#i have been working on it for a month. it is currently just under 14k. i have been thinking 'the end is in sight' for over a week now.#ive gone through 3 iterations of the last scene and this iteration has now stretched to 14 pages and is fully 1/3 of the fic.#i barely fucking remember where i started. there are 40 recurring themes and im trying to juggle them all to satisfying completion#in the same climax except my plan for the climax has changed 4 times and i think my emotional throughline snapped somewhere.#i have rewritten this entire fic front to back once already before it even had an ending.#for 3 days in a row now ive got up in the morning and thought 'i can finish it today' and failed.#I HATE THIS FIC SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT IT TO BE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#thinking#isat
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