#i ask please what. and again. in the fuck.
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dualityvn · 3 days ago
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Hello, I am writing this post in order to address my own community but also give a heads up to other yandere game devs on Tumblr. This has filled me with deep dread and I feel like it needs to be spoken about at once.
TLDR: There's a community of over 1k people who are seeking real life yandere relationships and planning illegal actions here on Tumblr.
I recently discovered there's a fairly big community here on tumblr of people who are seeking "yandere" partners in real life and/or identify as "yandere" themselves. Part of me is hoping and praying to the gods that it's just roleplay, but the community has "IRL" in its name and there is nothing in its rules indicating that it's roleplay. Some of the people in there are following my blog.
To other devs, I urge you to discourage such mentalities and make it as clear as possible that we DO NOT tolerate this stuff.
To anyone who identifies as "irl yandere" and is following this or any of my blogs, block me this instant. What you are doing and encouraging is abusive if it is outside of a consensual roleplay or BDSM scenario. Purposefully isolating a person from their loved ones, kidnapping them, harming them (again, without consent) is abuse. Get the hell out of my community, you are not welcome here. I will not have abusers use my game or participate in my community. Seek therapy.
There is a difference between exploring a crazy scenario in a game and pursuing said scenario in reality. NONE of the stalkerish, obsessive, overly jealous things Keith and Tenebris do in the game are okay to do to a real person. They are not role models, they are not ideal partners.
And to people who are seeking out "yandere" partners in real life, for the love of god realize that your fantasies will not play out the same in reality. You are putting yourself and all of your loved ones at risk. No matter how much you think you can appeal to a "yandere" or meet their needs, that is still an abuser who may go to extremes one day. There was a damn post in that community asking for advice on how to turn someone against their family. Another asking how to kidnap someone and being praised for it. This is not a joke. Do not invite abusers into your life. It will not play out like your fantasies. You will feel unsafe and violated, you may end up in a very very bad situation that you cannot get out of easily. There is a high chance you may lose your life when the abuser decides they can't have you to themselves any other way.
And to those of you in my fandom who are well in the head and aware this is nuts, please report this community if you come across it. The age of entry was 16, SIXTEEN YEAR OLDS ARE IN THERE LOOKING FOR ABUSERS. I cannot stress how fucked up this is.
I really really really hope I just somehow didn't pick up that this was all roleplay. I hope I didn't just witness someone trying to plan out how to kidnap a real person. Please just let me be a clueless idiot.
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kisssukuna33 · 2 days ago
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Sukuna would be the type of boyfriend to be overly protective. Not just because of his possessiveness just because he loves you so much.
You want to go shopping? He will always go with you no matter how many bags he will have to carry around while following you like a puppy. You want to take a walk? He's already putting on his shoes. You are going to a girl's night out? He will drive you to the place by his cab and analyzes the place for a good few minutes before he feels satisfied enough to leave you there. Hell! He will wait outside the whole time if you let him be but you always reject the idea because you don't want Sukuna to appear crazy in front of your friends.
It's the same when you two go out in public. Sukuna will always keep a hand on your waist or hold your hand the entire time. If anyone dare to look your way he make sure they see the disgusted scowl in his face everytime. Sometimes "The fuck are you looking at?" right after.
Let's talk about traveling with Sukuna as your bf because this man personally research every place you two would go to before the trip, if you recommend a sketchy or a dangerous spot he immediately rejects it in a second even though Sukuna and his cab have been through much more worse places than you could imagine but that doesn't matter anymore because now he has a priority to take care of. He would put on your seatbelt by himself just to make sure. And if you two are trying out new foods in the wild he is always the first to take a bite just to make sure it won't harm his girl. When you two check into a hotel worry not Sukuna will always make sure you two get the best room even if it means bribing the hotel employees. If you are hiking and show even a little bit of tiredness Sukuna won't hesitate to picking you up in a second. His excuse is "Tch, you are making us slow woman" when in reality he doesn't want to see you in pain. You wanted to bathe in the river? He won't let you move through the waters alone no hell no, he will carry you until he finds a spot suitable in the river that isn't deep enough to put you down.
It's worse when you are sick. He will stick by your side tending to you and taking care of you 24/7. He make sure you get the right amount of medicine and food and if you refuse to eat he will personally feed you, if you reject again he will literally find a way to threaten you.
"I don't want to eat Kuna!! Please"
"I won't ask again brat open up"
"is that suppose to scare me?"
"Fine then, that ugly ass plushie you love so much is going down the toilet"
"NO!!"
There are times where his overprotectiveness tend to go a little too far and you aren't afraid to confront him about it when that happens and Sukuna always welcome your criticism with open arms and tries to change despite his stubborn and rigid ways because that is what it means to be loved by Ryomen Sukuna.
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I love this man sm omg <333 I want to write more bf Sukuna, send me ideas please :D!!
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metalomagnetic · 3 days ago
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Canon Marauders meet Fanon Marauders
“I will kill him, James. I simply have to kill him. It’s a duty at this point,” Sirius whispers, at breakfast. 
James is morally opposed to murder, to say the least, but now when he opens his mouth to automatically tell Sirius he can’t kill people, the Abomination walks into the Great Hall, and James closes his mouth, with a sigh. 
He condones it. 
“Can you kill me, too, please?” Remus asks, as he watches his counterpart walk behind the Abomination. 
“Oh, come on! The Other You isn’t so bad.” 
“They’re all bad,” Peter mutters. “Just unbearable to watch.” 
They’ve only arrived in this cursed universe the day before, but it’s already too much to suffer. 
When Sirius met this universe’ version of himself, he had to be restrained from committing unspeakable violence. 
“What’s with the pranks?” James wonders. “Look, they’ve only just entered the Hall and they’ve already pulled a few pranks.” 
“You call those pranks?” Sirius sneers. “Those lame jokes?” 
“They probably take the ‘prankster’ label too seriously,” Peter bemoans. “And I’m missing again. It’s like I don’t even exist here, like those guys forget I’m their best friend.” 
After the Other Sirius, Other Peter was done the dirtiest. He’s much uglier than the real one, far shorter, and so stupid Sirius thinks he shouldn’t even be allowed to attend school. 
Not that Other Sirius is smart- oh, no. Other Sirius is a moron, apparently allergic to books. 
Remus got an upgrade- he’s now a wise genius to rival Dumbledore, and he spends his days giving people chocolate frogs.
It’s a wonder the Abomination is so thin, with how much chocolate he’s getting from Other Remus. 
So thin and short. 
“Why am I short?” Sirius growls. “I don’t know mate, it’s like the creator of this universe misremembered our heights and switched them around,” Remus offers, watching his other self, a very tall bastard. He’s even taller than Real Sirius. 
Outrageous. 
“I could suffer you short,” James says. “But look at him, he’s - why is he so…is that ...nail polish? Gods, what have they done to my Sirius!” 
“I asked him if he still has the bike,” Peter whispers. “He said he does, but I mean- he’s so fragile and dainty, how does he even manage that monster bike?” 
Sirius shakes his head in horror. “I have to kill him, there’s no way around it.” 
The Other Sirius whines in the distance. “MOOOOONY,” he pouts, and that's it, Sirius stands-
“Not here,” James pulls him by his sleeve. “You can’t have witnesses.” 
(-)
It takes them a few days to figure out what’s wrong with Other James. At a first glance, he looked normal, compared to the others. Almost unchanged from his real version, if only stupider. But not as stupid as Other Sirius and Other Peter, of course. 
A chicken wouldn’t be dumber than those guys. 
When they do figure it out, James throws up. 
“There, there,” Sirius pats his back. “Breathe, mate. Breathe.” 
“I’m fucking your brother! Your brother, Sirius!” 
“Oh, no, that is not my brother. That is Other Brother.” 
This version of Regulus is apparently not a bigot at all, it’s all just a big misunderstanding. He’s an Animagus, too, somehow. 
Sirius actually thinks Other Regulus is an alright lad- nothing like his brother, mind you, but alright, in general. 
James throws up again. “Me! With Regulus Black! I’m not even gay! I love Lily, and she loves me-” 
“Well, apparently she’s gay, too, in this world.” Remus says, which only makes James cry.
That isn’t so bad, really. Many things are wrong with this universe, but Lily and Dorcas look hot together. Sirius had a wank thinking of them the other night. It’s fine, he tells himself. He’s not betraying James. This Lily is nothing like their Lily back home. This one is like a goddess of beauty here, hair far more vibrant than the Real one, flawless skin and overall perfect in everything she does. Extremely selfless, saint-like, to the point she apparently offered to carry Regulus’ and James’ baby after Hogwarts.
Real Lily would hate her. 
She’s still not worse than Other Sirius. Nothing is worse than that. Real Sirius has taken to bullying Other Sirius, daily. Hourly. The Abomination whines about it to Other Remus all the time. 
“I want a word,” Other Remus hulks over, ridiculously muscular and, for some reason, with scars on his face. 
What the fuck happened to this bloke? Who even is he?
Real Remus slinks back. He was never one for confrontations, their Remus, but apparently this upgraded version is all up for it. 
“Listen,” Sirius tells him, because he doesn’t hate the man- sure, he’s not Remus, but he seems like a nice lad. “Why do you put up with that insufferable drama queen? He deserves to hang, and you deserve better.” 
“That’s my baby! That’s my Pads,” Other Remus says, suddenly all violent, his eyes turn yellow- what the actual fuck? 
But Sirius is already nauseous, stomach turning as soon as he heard ‘baby’ and ‘Pads”  coming out of his mouth. 
Real Remus cheers from the sidelines as Sirius wipes the floor with Other Remus. The Abomination cries somewhere in the distance, all helpless, until Real James hits him over the head with a candlestick. Other James is too busy sucking Other Regulus’ face to notice anything. 
(-)
Other Snape has a split personality, as if someone out there can’t decide if he’s evil reincarnate or a mewling, innocent boy. 
It’s jarring to see the shifts, day to day, and Sirius doesn’t know which version he hates more. 
He never thought he’d miss Snape, but he does. He misses their Snape, gods damn it, the Real one. 
(-)
He finds out his parents- or at least his parents in this world- torture Other Sirius on a daily basis. With the Cruciatus, even. 
Other Regulus tells him this, all traumatised. 
“Well,” Sirius says, shocked to the core. He almost laughs at the absurdity of it. “To be fair, if I had a son like the Abomination, I’d torture, him, too.” 
(-)
Dumbledore is Evil. But stupidly so. Even a random eleven year old saw through his evil plans and humiliated Dumbledore at breakfast. Some smart arse kid, who’s apparently Lord Potter Black Gaunt Slytherin, and talks like an eighty year old politician. Apparently Dumbledore stole his money or something. 
“I wonder how Other Voldemort is like,” James says, anxious to consider it. 
“I don’t even care,” Peter says. “We should join him. It’s either him, or siding with these lunatics.” 
They all nod in agreement. Voldemort can’t be worse- nothing can be worse than Other Sirius and Evil Stupid Dumbledore.  
(-)
There’s two Voldemorts. 
One is practically a ‘cartoon character’ Remus says. Sirius has no idea what that means.
This Voldemort is Ridiculously Evil. 
Insane Bellatrix is his most loyal. For some reason Insane Bellatrix cackles all the time, and mutters about blood and the Cruciatus under her breath. She’s also dressed like a slut. 
Real Bella, like the aristocrat she is, would never be caught looking like that in public. 
Sirius takes her aside to have a few words with her, and then he finds out apparently she, too, was tortured daily by her parents, like Other Sirius. 
“And raped,” she remembers, with a shrug.  
Wow, and Sirius thought the Real versions of the Blacks were bad, but these people take the fucking cake. 
If the Real Blacks would find out what these Other Blacks are doing to their children, there’ll be hell to pay. 
His mum is a right basket case back in his world, insufferable and cruel with her words, unreasonably strict, but if she’d ever find out another version of herself is torturing her children- why, she’d cut that bitch in pieces. 
(-)
The second Other Voldemort is some misunderstood good guy with a sob story. He whines about his tragic childhood as much as Other Sirius. 
At least this Other Voldemort is still tall, unlike Other Sirius. 
“It’s all Dumbledore’s fault,” he ends a monologue. “He made me do all I did. Or-” he checks a list. “Apparently sometimes he simply framed me and I didn’t do anything at all. Also, you can call me Tom, in private,” he invites them. 
It’s a tragic state of affairs. 
They decide to join Ridiculously Evil Voldemort, simply because he’s the only one that wouldn't protest to murdering everyone. He talks about murder every single day, and Sirius promises him he’ll do anything If he’s allowed to kill Other Sirius. 
“Oh, by the way, you should deal with Good Guy Voldemort.” 
“With who?” 
“You know, the hotter you, the one that’s innocent of all wrongs and calls himself Tom.” 
Evil Voldemort has a heart attacks and dies. 
(-)
They’re on the run from everyone in that crazy world, when a hooded figure enters their tent.  
“Is it you? Is it really you?” the man asks. “Potter? Black? Lupin? Pettigrew?’ 
“Yes, it’s us.” 
The person lowers his hood. It’s Snape. Real Snape. With greasy hair and a large nose, but with intelligent, sharp eyes.
There’s no ‘Victim’ stamped on his forehead, nor is he an evil arrogant bastard, like the Other Snape.
“Fuck, Snivellus! A sane person! I could hug you!” 
“I’d rather not,” Snape spits at James. “Alas, I am...relieved to have found you. We need to work together. I came here after you-” 
“Of course you did, you berk! You were stalking us, as usually, weren’t you?” 
“Yes,” Snape says, unashamed. “I killed the Other me.” 
“Good job. I killed the Other me, too,” Sirius boasts. “I took my time with him.” 
“I killed Other Lily,” Snape says. “She had to go. She was all ...wrong.” 
James sniffles. “She was.” 
And then they all sit down, and plan how to kill Good Guy Voldemort and Evil Stupid Dumbledore. 
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dementedkittenribbon · 2 days ago
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Azriel and a gentle virgin girl…
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MDNI-smut, oral fem receiving and PnV!!!
Azriel loves your gentle touches. The way you’re soft with him. Easy on his scarred hands and brooding shadows.
You care for him. He knows it. Everyone does. He doesn’t feel deserving of you. But he can’t stop himself from meeting your sweet mouth with his own one night. The hours bled into the morning as he drank. Any lover in his bed paled in comparison to the taste of your lips.
Azriel pressed you into the wall, your pastel gown moving as he lifted you up. Cupping the back of your thighs with his warm palms and he sucked your tongue. Your inexperience showed as you clumsily kissed him back but the eagerness pushed him forward.
He barely made it into your floral and white bedroom. The pillows made a muted sound as he laid you down. He wasn’t used to being so easy in bed but the way you softly gasped and moaned as his thick fingers found your panties, he sank them knuckle deep.
“Azriel, it feels so good.” You whispered and looked into his dark eyes. He nuzzled into your neck, following the instruction of your pleasured sounds.
He sucked the sweet spot of your pulse point and felt your pussy dampen more. He pumped his digits, enjoying your tight cunt pulling him in further. Azriel needed to sample a taste. Even though his sins made him undeserving.
He lowered himself down, pushing your thighs back and pulled aside your panties with his teeth. His tongue ran along your slit, swirling your center and sucked your clit.
Your hands found his hair as he buried his face further in. Azriel thrusted his tongue inside, glancing up at you as you arched into him. He was addicted to your taste and your moans. His hands squeezed your legs and he focused harder on your clit. You let out a louder groan and cried out. You came all over his mouth, chin and even down his neck. Azriel knew virgins were sensitive but he continued lapping at your cunt even as you let out a sob.
After two more times of the pleasure reaching its peak, he finally moved up and kissed up your body. Your glazed eyes lazily blinked as he gave you another deep kiss.
“God, I need to feel you squeeze my dick, little angel.” Azriel pulled off his pants, his cock slapping his thigh and you inhaled sharply. “Shhh, it’s okay. You’re gonna be fucked nice and properly.” He reassured and pressed his dick to your clit. He smeared the cum along it and followed the harmony of your moans, pushing it inside.
“Atta girl, taking me so good. Gonna fuck you nice and full,” Azriel grunted as his balls slapped your ass. You mewled And clawed at his leather clad back. Your cunt squeezed him as he moved.
“You feel so good, princess. This what you needed? A fucked up man to rail this pussy?” He growled and pinned your wrists to the bed. Your mouth went slack as he pounded into you harder. The entire bed moved but your whimpers only made him more determined.
“Cum for my dick, there you go. Cream on it and make my balls empty.” You followed his commands and let out a wail as he fucked you through it.
“Where do you want it, pretty girl?” Azriel asked, sweat glistening his golden skin and you answered between cries.
“Cum in me! Please! Need it in my pussy.” You begged and he would happily oblige.
Azriel spilled into you, feeling it drip onto the bed and he groaned a low note as he trembled with aftershocks. You came again, making him slip in and out easier as he stayed there.
“My soft little angel being a slut for me.”
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shoujoboy-restart · 2 days ago
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Oh thought I was rebbloging from them, eh potato potato.
Also why would I be "scared" of them lol, you yourself said THEIR comparison isn't good, I'm not the one saying abortion for women is equal or comparable to the draft for men, they did.
> I've seen no love for Tate from MRAs
Neither have i because the MRA movement is dead and rotting when it comes to relevance in politics and social discourse at all, you had to bring it up unrelated, no, literally I also had to check if I even said "MRA", I only used "men's right" generically and obviously about the concept not the movement, that's how irrelevant it is to discussions now days.
Which makes this weird strawmans and skeleton digging you are doing really embarrassing
Idk who this warren dude is, good for him, bad for for him whatever, seems like a guy who the topic of a generic buzzfeed feminist article in the 2010s that would make some good and bad point about his beliefs i guess.
Roosh v, don't know don't care, I can remember the name only and he seems to call himself a pick up artist from I've seen, so the anti-sjw slop tubers from 2014 would probably go to great lengths to make him seem more relevant than he is just like mainstream media and probably use him for click bait, but whatever he's doing is for money and grifting by default from what I can see in the surface and that's just common sense I don't make rules lol.
Marc Lepine...
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So a random anti-feminist shooter from the 80s? There's like a handful of them, again idk how he's relevant to this discussion specifically, like if you are using this to relive a debunk post you made against We Hunt The Mammoth in the 2010s and you felt it deserved more notes I will need you to pay before and after you finish and i ain't no cheap hoe. But I can definetely see a 2010s video by a random slop tuber that would use the fact he killed men too as proof "he's not a Real™ anti-feminist", make a bunch of edgy commentary about how actually someone should have pitty fucked him for the benefit of society, women shouldn't have been so picky about his demonic depressed aura and they should have thought of him when fighting for women rights completely unrelated to whatever internal issue he was having, issues which the slop tuber and his audience would probably call "socialism welfare" if separated from the topics of men's rights (again, generically, no one is referring to a movement that failed upwards, please move on 2010s it is better for a everyone if we do that)
Honey Badger Brigade, oof that's a deep cut, remember when they tried to go on Metakour's stream to beg for money for that pointless lawsuit going back where they said "actually we are now going to represent ourselves because all lawyers are dumb and don't know anything" which looking back as a adult really just came off as begging and trying to extend their 15 minutes of fame and that any lawyer worth their salt was telling them the contract they signed probably said they could lose their spot whenever and for whatever reason, I also remember when the butch one started using every slur know to man trying to be one of the Cool YouTubers™ 😎 when responding back to Metakour's not giving a shit about men rights because he didn't care about politics of any kind and told them to stop begging his viewers for money, even at like 14 i cringed and noticed how desperate they were to be pandering to anybody that gave them relevance, like nothing shows you REALLY care about men's right than using slurs like the hard-r n-word that dehumanized men based on their skin color and ethnicity, honestly they were the definition of pick me if you ask me, just saying whatever men wanted to hear with no care of concistency or true higher beliefs because it gave them some sort of relevance they could get if involving themselves with real world activism.
Yeah I genuinely don't get why you just brought up some random Mc Nobody author, one of the handful of grifters before Andrew Tate perfected the formula and prepared the soil for him to land, a random anti-feminist shooter form the 80s that would probably get some Devil's Advocacy for YouTube clicks from grifting slop tubers which would be consumed uncritically and then would make y'all look bad obviously and two pick me that had no real beliefs, begged for money every other week for like the political equivalent of pizza parties and would had no real opinion besides whatever mediocre men would like to hear women say.
Again, I said "red pill movement" which is a incredibly generic catch all term for men and people claiming to seek male improvement, which Tate is, he uses that term, most people that also call themselves "red pilled" accept and love him and I have yet to even see a "association fallacy" even begin to being used to claim he doesn't represent "red pill values", mostly because there's none since it just a "floating symbol".
But hey you are the same dude who believes in that weird narrative of "the term incel was actually made derogatorily by a random zoophililic radfem" made by incel appropriators themselves in a beyond weird attempt to make it seem like they didn't steal the term from a disabled woman who made a support forum for disabled and socially unpalatable men and women and actually everyone everywhere wronged them and that's why they advocate for pedophilia now (this is just as irrelevant to topic like your weird creature of the nights checklist you did so lol and lmao even).
Genuine advice, move on, the MRA movement is the definition of reactionary, the only accomplishment it has to show is a Apollo curse PR documentary, a bunch of pizza parties about how great it is to have xy chromosomes in a average way and a bunch of rent seekers shadow boxing at already retires feminist internet figure heads or waiting for the next ai generated article about why eating avocados and doing yoga is the ultimate feminism activism to drop to dibonky it epic style, I'm afraid if this discussion goes any further you are doing to talk about Anita Sarkesian as if she relevant still, and that's scary, move on genuinely, almost a decade doing this and y'all having nothing but YouTube views to show. Genuinely the only people who bring up MRAs unironically these days are TERFs and radfems claiming they have evolved into trans rights activists, and like they are twice more chronically online than MRAs yet they have more real world accomplishmenta than y'all did at the top of y'all's relevance back then...that's sad babe, real sad.
Not feminist as in "women should be included in the draft" but feminist as in "being drafted is a violation of bodily autonomy for any gender".
The draft should not exist. Drafting people into the military is a violation of human rights. You should not be able to force someone to risk their life. If you can't find enough people who care about a conflict to keep it going then it simply shouldn't keep going. You can't even force someone to donate a kidney using government power, why the fuck can you force them to donate their whole body and life to a cause they don't agree with or don't care about?
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03jyh23 · 2 days ago
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༘⋆mon's 500 followers special.ᐟ.ᐟ 500-word prompt roulette⟢
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☕️┆more than just coffee
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kim hongjoong x gn! reader
│synopsis: the one where hongjoong finally makes a move
│genre: fluff
│trigger warnings: none
│roulette prompt 4 + hongjoong
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You were sprawled across the sofa in Hongjoong's studio. Being his best friend meant regular visits to his studio were mandatory - especially when armed with his favorite iced coffee. Though if anyone asked you, the coffee was just a bonus - you were the real gift, a fact you never failed to remind him whenever he pretended to be annoyed by your surprise appearances.
"...and the deadline is in two days! TWO DAYS! How am I supposed to finish this track when the company keeps changing their mind about the direction?" Hongjoong ran his fingers through his blue hair, sprawling on his chair.
You watched him with a small smile playing on your lips, finding his passionate rant endearing. His dedication to his work was one of the things you admired most about him.
Mid-rant, he caught your expression and stopped abruptly. "What?" he asks as your smile only widens, making him suddenly self-conscious. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
You smile. "You're just really cute when you talk."
Hongjoong's face flushes a deep red, and he quickly spins his chair back to face his computer screen. "I-I'm not cute," he mutters, but you can see the tips of his ears turning pink. "And stop distracting me, I need to work."
You got up from the sofa. "Alright, if you really want me to go..." you tease as you take your bag.
Hongjoong's head snaps up immediately, his eyes widening. "Wait, no - I didn't mean..." He trails off, looking torn between his work and not wanting you to leave. "Just... stay a bit longer? Please?"
"Only if you'll agree that you are cute," you say as you come close to him, ruffling his blue fringe. It always surprised you how he maintained his hair so soft while bleaching it at least twice a month. He takes your wrist, his eyes searching yours. "I don't want you thinking I'm cute," he almost whispers, tone suddenly serious as the atmosphere changes. "Y/N... do you really see me only as your cute friend?"
Your heart skips a beat at his question, at the intensity in his gaze as he still holds your wrist. The playful atmosphere from moments ago has shifted into something charged with unspoken feelings. You open your mouth to answer, but the words catch in your throat.
"What do you mean?" you ask softly, though your racing heart tells you that you know exactly what he means.
Hongjoong's grip on your wrist loosens, but he doesn't let go. His thumb traces small circles on your skin, "I mean... when you look at me, when you come here with coffee and make me laugh even on my worst days, when you stay despite my workaholic tendencies... what do you feel?"
You let out an awkward laugh, the sound coming out more like a puff of air than anything else. Your heart is thundering in your chest.
"I..." you start, trying to find the right words while fighting the urge to deflect with humor like you usually do. Your palms are sweaty, and you're terrified of ruining years of friendship with what you might say next. "I come here because..." you pause, swallowing hard. "Because I like being around you, you’re my best friend..." The last part comes out barely above a whisper, and you can't quite meet his eyes.
Hongjoong's hands tighten slightly around your wrist, and you can feel him tense at your words. "Best friend," he repeats, his voice carrying a hint of frustration. "Fuck it," he mutters, rising from his chair abruptly. Your breath catches in your throat as he pulls you closer, leaving barely any space between you. His eyes flicker to your lips before meeting your gaze again. "Maybe this will change your mind," he whispers, and before you can process what's happening, he closes the remaining distance.
His lips meet yours in a gentle kiss, soft and hesitant at first, as if he's giving you a chance to pull away. But when you respond by sliding your hands up to his shoulders, he deepens the kiss, one hand moving to cup your face while the other wraps around your waist.
You pull back, your heart racing as you try to catch your breath. "Well," you say with a nervous laugh, "I don't remember this being in the friendship contract. Did we miss a clause somewhere?"
Hongjoong rolls his eyes, giving you a light push. "Really? That's what you're going with right now?" He drops back into his chair, crossing his arms with an exaggerated pout. "Here I am, pouring my heart out, and you make dad jokes."
"It's part of my charm," you say, but your voice wavers slightly, still affected by the kiss.
"You're impossible," he mutters, but you can see the corners of his mouth twitching, fighting a smile.
"I like you too," you blurt out suddenly, making Hongjoong freeze. "And not just as a friend. I... I've liked you for a while now."
His eyes light up, a genuine smile breaking across his face. "Yeah?" he asks softly, reaching for your hand.
"Yeah," you confirm, intertwining your fingers with his. "Though I have to warn you, the coffee deliveries might get more expensive now that we're dating."
Hongjoong's eyebrows shoot up, and he gives you an incredulous look. "Oh, so we're dating now? Just like that?" He leans back in his chair with an amused smirk. "I don't remember being asked on a proper date yet. The audacity!"
You laugh, squeezing his hand. "Are you saying you want me to woo you, Kim Hongjoong?"
"I'm just saying," he says with an exaggerated sniff, "that a person of my caliber deserves at least a proper dinner invitation before being claimed as someone's boyfriend."
"Fine," you say, rolling your eyes fondly. "Kim Hongjoong, would you like to go on a date with me? Maybe somewhere that serves better coffee than what I bring you?"
His face breaks into that bright smile you love so much. "Now was that so hard?" he teases, pulling you closer. "And for the record, no coffee tastes better than the ones you bring me."
You pull him into another kiss, softer this time, filled with all the unspoken feelings you've held back for so long. When you finally break apart, you rest your forehead against his, both of you wearing matching grins. "So, about that date..." you start, but Hongjoong's already reaching for his coat.
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lvnleah · 3 days ago
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Hello , i wanted to request a lia walti one, it is basically awfc x teen reader , please ignore if you don't writer her .
May I request an awfc x teen!walti reader who is much younger than lia and is almost the opposite of lia. She is a pest to her sister but lia adores her anyway , she is destined to be the next star girl of the Swiss team and woso in general and joins awfc and the team gets to know the young walti is very different from her sister almost as menace as Kyra and they become very good friends with all the youngsters and well more headache for awf team and captain Kimmy and her older sister lia herself but they adore her .. thank you
double trouble | lia wälti.
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thank you for this request! :)
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Joining Arsenal was a dream come true, but it was also the worst nightmare for one person in particular. Your big sister, Lia.
At 21, you were already being hailed as Switzerland’s next big star. On the pitch, your technical ability and football IQ were undeniable. But off the pitch?
You were a menace. A lovable, chaotic, ADHD-driven menace.
Lia had spent your entire childhood keeping you in check, and now, thanks to Arsenal, she had to do it all the time.
The warning came before you even stepped foot in the training ground.
“Y/N, I’m serious,” Lia said as she drove you to your first session. “No pranks. No messing around. You want to make a good impression, right?”
You turned to her with your best innocent face. “Lia, come on, you act like I’m some kind of—”
Lia scoffed as she cut you off, “You hid my boots in the freezer before an international match.”
“…Okay, but that was funny.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“It kind of was.”
Lia let out a long, tired sigh. “Just please try to act professional, yeah? I want this to work for you.”
You lasted maybe ten minutes.
The first training session went as expected, meaning you caused absolute chaos. The moment you walked into the dressing room, Beth slung an arm around your shoulder. “The little Walti! We’ve heard so much about you.”
“Aww has Lia been singing my praises?” You asked with a cheeky smirk, “Lia, you really don’t have to!”
Lia rolled her eyes as she set her bag down, “Trust me I have not been singing your praises. I’ve been warning them.”
You gasped, “Warning them about your own baby sister? I’m heartbroken! What have you been seeing?” 
Kim rolled her eyes from beside Beth, “Enough to know you’re a little troublemaker.”
You grinned. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
The team wasn’t buying your innocent act for a second. Lotte raised a sceptical eyebrow as she laced up her boots. “Yeah, sure. You and trouble? Completely unrelated.”
Katie, who had been watching with amusement, leaned in. “I like her. She’s got that little shit energy.”
Lia groaned. “Please, don’t encourage her.”
That was when Kyra walked in.
You didn’t know who she was at first, but the second she spotted you, her face lit up. “No fucking way. You’re the other menace? Sick!”
Lia’s head hit the locker with a soft thud. “Oh no. No, no, no. This cannot be happening.”
You turned to Kyra, eyebrows raised in confusion, “Other menace? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Kyra grinned, slinging an arm around your shoulders like she’d known you forever. “Means we’re about to be best friends. I’ve been carrying the chaos around here all on my own,” She smirked at Lia. “Now I’ve got backup.”
Lia groaned again, already regretting every life choice that led to this moment. “I give it a week before one of you gets banned from the training ground.”
Beth snorted. “A week? You’re optimistic.”
You turned to Kyra, grinning. “So what’s the worst thing you’ve done here so far?”
Kyra looked thoughtful for a moment before smirking. “Let’s just say Jonas doesn’t leave his office door unlocked anymore.”
Your eyes widened with admiration. “Oh, I like you.”
Lia looked absolutely horrified. “I hate this. I hate everything about this.”
Kyra shot a look at Lia, then she turned back to you with a smirk. “I think we’re gonna be best friends.”
The room collectively groaned.
“Nope,” Beth said immediately, pointing a warning finger at both of you. “Absolutely not.”
Steph shook her head. “This is a disaster waiting to happen.”
Lia looked like she was having a crisis. “You guys were supposed to keep them apart!”
“Oh, come on. I’m actually very responsible.” Kyra smirked
“Kyra, you stole Jonas’ tactics board last week.”
Kyra scoffed. “It was an accident.”
“You wrote ‘Kyra’s Master Plan’ on it.” Steph reminded her, “The plan was to just kick everyone or egg them…”
“…Okay, maybe not an accident.”
You burst out laughing. “I knew I liked you.”
Kyra grinned. “We’re gonna have so much fun.”
Lia turned to Kim. “I need a transfer.”
Kim patted her on the shoulder. “Too late, Wally.”
The rest of the team was already exchanging wary glances. They had survived Kyra. They had survived you. But the two of you together?
They might not make it out alive and that was proved over the next few weeks. 
It started small.
Little things.
A missing boot here, a mysteriously locked physio room there. The occasional mysteriously swapped training bibs that had everyone confused about which team they were on during drills.
Harmless.
Mostly.
Lia had been watching. She always did, with that big-sister sense that had kept you in check (or tried to) for years. She saw the way you and Kyra exchanged glances after Jonas called for a tactical review. The way Beth’s locker mysteriously refused to open one morning. The way the team chat suddenly blew up with debates over whether a ghost haunted the gym after the lights flickered for two nights in a row.
Lia knew.
But the final straw came when Leah stormed into training one morning, face red with frustration with her boots in her hands. 
“You two,” she said, voice dangerously calm, “Did you two little shits pit googly eyes on my boots?”
Silence.
Leah held the pair out, each one sporting a pair of wide, cartoonishly oversized eyes that wobbled slightly in the wind.
Lia didn’t even look at you first. She looked at Kyra.
Then you.
Then back at Kyra.
Leah exhaled sharply, muttering something under her breath before rubbing her temples. “I don’t even know why I bother.”
You were doing a terrible job at keeping a straight face. So was Kyra. Katie was openly laughing, and Beth had turned away, shaking with silent giggles.
“We tried to stop them,” Vic deadpanned.
“No, you didn’t,” Lia accused.
“No, we didn’t,” Vic admitted.
Leah pinched the bridge of his nose and turned back to you and Kyra. “You’re running extra laps.”
Kyra groaned. “But—”
“Now.”
Lia, arms crossed, watched you go with the weight of a thousand exhausted big sister sighs.
“I told you this would happen,” she muttered.
Beth clapped her on the back. “Cheer up, Wally. At least they’re funny.”
Lia did not find it funny. Not when you and Kyra turned your extra laps into pretending to be Olympic sprinters. Not when Kyra fake-tripped and rolled halfway down the pitch like a footballer diving for a penalty. Not when you did the world's worst cartwheel in an attempt to "make training more fun."
But if the team thought googly eyes were the worst of your antics, they had another thing coming.
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rainydayathogwarts · 2 days ago
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Occupied dorm - Remus lupin
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summary: potter!reader x remus secret relationship au! When Lily gets sick of the commotion in the common room, she is locked out of her dorm because you are occupying it. wc: 1k+
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James tucked a strand of Lily’s hair behind her ear, a look of adoration on his face despite the annoyed glare she adorned. The common room had become too loud, and contrary to popular belief, Lily despised the library. “Great Hall?” James suggested, smiling softly at her. Lily shook her head. “There’s that annoying group of ravenclaw girls who spend all day giggling.” James laughed, throwing his hands up in surrender when Lily’s glare was suddenly aimed at him. “Well what about your dorm?” Lily huffed, shaking her head again. She really should have said no when you asked if you could occupy it for the next couple of hours. “Your sister’s in there.” 
“So?”
“We can’t.”
“Oh. Is she with who I think she’s with?” 
Yes.
You loudly moaned into the pillow in front of you, Remus grinding into your hips from the back, his hands guiding you back onto his cock. Your hips were propped up using a pillow, and Remus groaned into the air, throwing his head back as he shut his eyes tightly. “Fuck, that’s nice.” You whined at Remus’s words, hugging the pillow you dug your head into it.
Remus winced at the ache in his bones, readjusting himself so he lay nearly flat on top of you, only holding himself up by his forearms, on either side of your head. His pace was slow, pushing into you until his balls connected with your ass, where he’d pause for a short break before dragging out again. The full moon had only passed two days ago and Remus hadn’t fully recovered, but you’d barely walked out of the hospital wing before Remus was tugging you up to your dorm, his head in the crook of your neck pressing hungry kisses against your skin as he begged you to let him fuck you. Obviously, you were more than happy to fulfil his wishes. 
Remus moved some hair away from your face, and he whispered in your ear "Let me see you, sweetheart." You whined at his words, arching your back with a gasp as his cock brushed against your cervix. "Please." He begged, his voice hitching. You dug your face out of the pillow, laying your head on the side so Remus could finally see your face. He moaned softly, pressing his lips to your cheek multiple times as he continued rocking his hips back and forth. "Lips" You pleaded, puckering your lips for Remus to finally kiss. When your lips connected, you sighed in pleasure, one hand coming up to cup your boyfriend’s cheek. Remus broke the kiss only to peck your lips again, a satisfied noise escaping his lips.
You pushed your hips back to connect with Remus’s pelvis and he gasped loudly, still oversensitive after the full moon. "Fuck, I’m close." Remus grunted, letting his head drop onto the mattress. "Can I get on top?" You panted, patting Remus on the arm. Remus wordlessly straightened up to pull out with a loud moan, flopping on his back tiredly as he panted. You instantly climbed on top of him, watching as his eyes took your whole body in. Hands were instantly cupping your tits, squeezing softly as you guided his cock to your entrance, slowly sinking down on him. Remus threw his head back, biting at his bottom lip to keep his moans in. You brought a hand up to Remus’s face, caressing his cheek softly. He turned his head to the side to press a kiss to the palm of your hand, looking up at you through heavy lidded eyes. 
You began moving on Remus’s cock, carefully watching his facial expressions. His face was scrunched up in pleasure, eyes tightly shut. You felt bad that he had to go through the pain of every full moon, but seeing him in this position, so needy for your touch just did something for you. You gasped, jumping up at the electric feeling that shot through you. Looking down, you spotted Remus’s fingers between your folds, feeling them rub slowly at your clit. Keening, you sped up your pace, and Remus immediately cursed, his free hand moving to grip your hip. You leaned forward, hungrily pressing your lips to his and Remus immediately parted his lips, making way for your tongue to slither in your mouth.
Remus sped the pace of his fingers, swallowing up your moan, feeling your legs begin to shake. Remus bucked his hips into yours, and you were immediately unravelling on top of him, dropping your weight back down on his cock. Remus’s hips stuttered, and he pulled you down flush against his hips as he released his load into you. You broke the kiss, instead digging your head into the crook of Remus’ neck, biting softly on his skin there. "Shit!" Remus’s hips thrust up into you again, making you cry out as you came down from your orgasmic high, tightly hugging Remus against you. 
Both of you just sat there for a moment, breathing heavily as you caught your breath. You put your hands on Remus’s shoulders, pushing yourself up, and you winced, moving your hips as you pulled yourself off Remus’s dick, landing next to him on the bed. Remus wrapped him arms around you, tugging you into his chest. "That was…" You started, staring off into the dorm. Remus hummed in agreement, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "I’m gonna shower and take a nap. Join me?" Remus asked, getting up slowly and putting his clothes back on.
"Why not here?" You questioned, mimicking his movements nonetheless and snaking your hand into his. "Because I’ll be knocked out until the morning." You hummed in acknowledgement, nodding as he lead you out of your dorm. Trudging down the stairs to the common room, you didn’t catch the frown James threw you and Remus, slouching down on the floor and crossing his arms over his chest. Instead, you just continued up to Remus’s dorm, cuddling against him with Sirius’s snores lulling you both to sleep.
taglist: @ravisinghs-wife, @amatoanima, @starry-remus, @pain-in-the-ashe, @hiireadstuff, @superlegend216, @treefairy-28, @superlegend216, @kitkatkl, @rory-cakes
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attilarrific · 2 hours ago
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Okay, as a librarian in a major metropolitan area, I've seen this go around a bunch. I've had this sent to me several times as a fun joke. And while upstairs is DEFINITELY right that this is part of a massive ongoing anti-library smear campaign by the right (and if you just went, "wait, what," well. Have I got news for you), I have something else to say that I kind of keep waiting for someone else to say for me, but this post keeps going around and no one says it.
Yes. Fuck's sake. Yes. People are having sex and doing drugs at the library.
Ask any public librarian in, again, a major metropolitan area (possibly other areas, but I'm just not knowledgeable there), and they will go, "Yes, obviously. Yes, obviously, we do our best, but shit fucking sucks, please fund us better so we can better connect these people with helpful resources."
Fucking---this isn't really the point, but I have people at the library say things to me like, "You must have the easiest job in the world," because they assume all I do is, like, read at work or something. And no. No, I fucking do not. You are wrong about what libraries are.
And you're sort of wrong in a fun way, because libraries do a lot of incredible stuff you aren't aware of, like events and concerts and interlibrary loan and expungement clinics and tech loaning and makerspaces and so just so much more. Check out your local library. I guarantee you they do things you never would've thought.
But you're also wrong in a not-so-fun way, because being the third place that you don't have to pay to be in isn't always fucking pretty, okay. Public service and community spaces aren't the utopian bastions you imagine.
So, yes. People come in drunk off their asses. People do drugs in the bathrooms (so much that in some libraries, the librarians are getting Narcan training). People shit outside of the bathrooms, sometimes because they're drunk or high, but not always. People are having sex. They masturbate in the study rooms or the stacks or just out in the open until someone stops them, they watch porn on the public computers.
And yes, the library workers get to deal with that. And it fucking sucks.
But also FUCK Fox News, because the answer is not "libraries have become a problem," the question is when and why we became the only place everyone could go. Why we got stuck with all of it, becoming all things to all people. And the question isn't how we can force people out of libraries or close libraries (because clearly we're disgusting houses of iniquity, and if you remove the house, the iniquity evaporates with it), it's how we can actually fucking connect people with services that libraries can't (and shouldn't have to!) provide. Like housing. Medical assistance. Mental health services. Career services. So much more.
But yes. For the love of god. Libraries are drug-infested sex dens. Yes, we'd like to do something about that.
If someone could help us instead of laughing at the thought, that would be fantastic, thanks.
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So Fox News ran a story about how they think libraries are turning into drug-infested sex dens and I am shocked, shocked that I was never offered any drugs during my 15+ years working in libraries.
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velvetcrimsonkisses · 4 hours ago
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Red Ropes- Choso Kamo
Note: sub!choso tied up and being pathetic. Hope y'all like it's been a bit. I miss yall <3
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The red ropes cinched tightly around Choso's toned torso. With every deep breath, his muscles dared to bulge out of their confinements. The veins from his strong arms and biceps flex with any subtle movement he does. Soft whimpers escape his plump lips, red and flushed from biting on them. His cheeks match along with them as he looks up at you. 
“Ha… ah,” He exhales deeply.
“Awe, what’s the matter?” You ask, as you slowly circle around him, your fingers lightly trail around the diameter of his waist. You admire how his pale skin is littered with beautiful splotches of deep red and rich purple. Chills run down his spine as he feels your fingertips brush against his skin. Once you made it in front of him again, you trail your fingers from his abdomen and up to his chin. You grip his chin and pull it up so his gaze lands on you.
“Choso,” his name falling so sweetly out of your mouth, forces him to look at your lips. His mind tries to imagine them on any part of his body that makes him ache.
“Should I stop? You’re not answering me.” You lean in.
“N-no,” His voice is hoarse and weak. Desperate, lust-blown eyes flitting between your mouth and eyes.
“Please don’t stop.” The last word drops into a soft whine, and he leans in to try and meet you halfway when you pull back.
He looks like he wants to cry and that's just what you planned. You push him lightly, so his back is flat against the chair. You take a good look at the pathetic man in front of you, no shame to be found. He indulged in being treated like this with the silent promise that you’d praise him afterward. Your gaze falls low to the prominent tent strained against his tight boxers. The fabric clung to every thick inch of his throbbing cock. 
You lean in closer, your lips brushing against his ear as you speak softly, "Look at you, so hard and aching and completely at my mercy.” Your fingernails trail down his chest, as you settle down on his lap. The heat of his body radiates through the thin fabric of your panties, making you hyper-aware of what you’re doing to him. 
“Tell me how much you need it, how badly you need me…” you voice a sinful purr against his ear. “How desperately does your cock want to be inside me?” you punctuated each word by rolling your hips, grinding against the rigid tent straining his boxers. 
Choso's eyes fluttered shut, his breath hitched as he lost himself in the sweet sensation. “So bad,” his voice rasped, strained and thick, full of desire. “I want to be inside you so bad.” 
His whines are like music to your ears. His hips roll up to meet your grinding, seeking more and more. You could feel him fighting for his life against the ropes. His fingers clenching, knuckles turning white as he fought the urge to grab and flip you over, changing your positions but, Choso knew better than to defy your wishes. 
“Beg for it,” honeyed words fall from your lips and slip into his ears. Your nails dig a little deeper into his biceps and squeeze, that pain mixed with the pleasure he knew he was about to receive makes all the better. “Beg for my pussy Cho…” 
You lean back slightly allowing your hand to come up and squeeze his neck, with just enough pressure to make him give in to you. His head tilts back and you could almost cum from just the look he gives you. His eyes bore into you, dark, intense, and all-consuming. His lips parted slightly as he began to speak again, “Please, I’ll fuck you with everything I have…” Choso’s voice dropped to a rough and desperate rasp. His words spilled out in the filthiest manner. “Please, please give me what I need.
You could feel him on the last threads of his resistance, he wanted you and needed you soon. You tighten your grip around his jaw before pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. “Good boy,” you purred, your voice full of sinful lust. “Such a good boy, begging all pretty for me…” 
With that, your hand finally reaches down to set him free. His throbbing cock sprang free from his boxers, slapping against his abdomen. You wrap your hand around his pulsing shaft, feeling it jerk and twitch in your grip. 
Choso let out a strangled moan, his hips bucking up into your touch, wanting more of that succulent feeling. “Thank you, fuck… thank you so much.” He gasps, his voice choking on the words. 
You could see the desperation in his eyes, the way they glazed over with pure submission as you stroked his aching cock. His whole body goes limp beneath you, surrendering to all your whims. He was completely and utterly yours. 
“Please let me feel your pussy, I promise I’ll be good. I’ll do anything for you.” Choso begs, his words spilling out in a quick and nervous tumble. You could feel the need radiating off his body, and you finally decide to give him what he desperately wants. 
You adjust your hips and with one swift motion you move your panties to the side, your dripping sex finally exposed to the hungry eyes before you. You grip his hair, forcing his head slightly back, as you finally undo the red ropes that restrained him. 
His hands like clockwork fall to your waist as he buries his head in the crook of your neck. “Can I please fuck you now, please…” He mumbles into your skin, before looking up at you with those brown pleading eyes. 
And you could never tell him no… 
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highvern · 10 hours ago
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Beggin' On My Knees
Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader
Genre: fluff, smut, hint of angst, established relationship, biker! hoshi
warnings: pregnancy, impreg/breeding kink, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), nipple play, unprotected sex, praise kink, body worship, spitting, praise kink
Length: ~8k
Note: inspired by the Please, Please, Please MV. this was originally an idea for taehyung but alas my top freak took over again. something about biker/mechanic hoshi really is beautiful thank u @tomodachiii @haologram and @gyuswhore for keeping me sane
summary: After another run in with the law, you come to terms with the fact your friends might be right about your fiancé.
m.list
This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.
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Even at your age, it’s somehow more embarrassing to buy pregnancy tests than condoms. You wouldn’t know since you’ve never bought condoms. That particular responsibility falls exclusively on your fiance after the few times in college when you snagged handfuls from the bucket inside the campus clinic.
You’ve bought a pregnancy test before. Not for yourself but for friends too embarrassed to walk into the pharmacy and publicly declare how active their sex lives were. Now you understand why they wanted someone else to do it. Why are there twenty different brands? Why do they require some high school employee to unlock the case so you can pick the one you want? Why are they so damn expensive? The anxiety you feel rivals the first time you bought weed sophomore year of college from some sleazy frat boy.
You’ve got the box resting on the bathroom counter, a timer on your phone, and the test just out of sight while you pace back and forth in the small space. The door is shut for no other reason than to isolate away from Soonyoung in the event he gets off work early.
You should call Soonyoung. He’d want to know, fight the urge to say something stupid like “I’ll try harder next time” when the tests come back negative and instead offer to pee on one in solidarity if only to lighten the mood.
You never understood when people say a woman just knows until right now because with each passing second the reality that those tests are going to be positive sink in. Despite the fact you and Soonyoung almost always use a condom and the times without them end with him coming anywhere not inside you. You just know it.
Each second ticks down like a bomb waiting to detonate.
Positive. Positive. Positive.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Your stomach twists.  Surprisingly, you don’t dread it as much as you would have a year ago. But a million things a baby entails rush over you. Cleaning out the spare room upstairs, doctors appointments, daycare, clothes, school. Do you even know how to actually take care of a kid? One that belongs to you, who you can’t give back to their person when they get fussy or hurt.
Soonyoung was born to be a dad. He never hid how badly he wanted a family of his own, a family with you. He’s good with kids too. You’ve seen him with his nieces and nephews, your friends’ kids. The middle schoolers in your neighborhood come to him with broken bikes and scooters to be fixed, knock on your front door to ask if he can help them get their ball down from some tree. Even if he doesn't know what he’s doing he’d be there by your side.
As the initial shock washes away, the knots in your chest slowly unfurl. You can do this. Even though you planned your life down to the last detail, Soonyoung has a way of sweeping you into his tide. Engagement, marriage, house, babies. In that order. You’ve already got the house before he asked you to marry him and your wedding is only a month away. 
After the worst of the panic settles into restless jitters, you leave the solitude of the bathroom. Soonyoung still isn’t home from work yet but it isn’t unusual. He’s been pulling more hours, shouldering more responsibilities since Mr. Lee, the owner, hinted at a promotion. Glancing at the clock, you guess he’ll walk through the door in two hours which gives you plenty of time to put together something to surprise him.
After a long shower, you burn time by cleaning up non-existent messes; you can’t sit still. The ‘surprise’ ends up being lackluster. Your weekly grocery shopping trip is tomorrow so the fridge is slim pickings for dinner and you make the executive decision to go out once Soonyoung is home. Some fancy restaurant neither of you can afford with tiny dishes designed to leave you hungry and stopping at the diner at the edge of town for a burger. 
While the noise from the TV hums in the background, you scroll through internet searches on what to do when expecting. Doctors appointments, blood tests, advice on budgeting. It’s information overload but you’re giddy even with the stress.. Then you see it. A screenshot from one of your friends. No words, just a photo. 
“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
The longer you stare the quicker the realization becomes a reality. Soonyoung, your Soonyoung, the Soonyoung you’ve been waiting to get home, the reason for three positive pregnancy tests still on the bathroom counter, stares back. Or his mugshot does. A proud stain on the town jail’s website for everyone to see.
Storming out of the house, you notice Jeonghan’s car is gone from his own driveway. Hopefully he’s given your fiance an earful at the station already. If not, you’ve got plenty to say.
Whatever giddy happiness possessed you earlier is long gone, rotten disgust taking its place. How stupid do you look waiting for him at home while he’s gone and gotten himself locked up?
That stupid bike.
It isn’t the first time. That was the initial appeal back when you were a doe eyed freshman, finally out from under your parents thumb with more freedom than you knew how to handle. Soonyoung was the stereotypical bad boy with a taste for fast cars, working in a garage to your good girl persona who set the curve in all her classes. A few drinks at a run down dive bar landed you on his bike in some back alley, a hand under your skirt while he whispered the nastiest things you’ve ever heard. Then you returned the favor back at his apartment, riding him with enough vigor the headboard slapping against the wall sent his neighbors into a fit.
Then came the routine of Soonyoung picking you up from your dorms late at night, staying out until sunrise doing who knows what. He showed you off at street races, called you his girl in front of friends, and would take you out to the lake after winning a race and make you feel like a winner too. 
It was fun. 
Until the calls he’d been out street racing again wore down your patience as your friends’ giddy curiosity turned to embarrassment and ‘I told you so’s. It wasn’t enough to break your heart, but it tore your ego to shreds. They called him a loser and you defended him time and time again because you loved him. Because he promised it wouldn’t happen again.
He promised the last time was the last time. The time before that was also the last time and the time before and so on. 
The parking lot of the police station is nearly empty this time of day; a few police cars and a handful of other vehicles. Otherwise, it sits deserted. 
Jeognhan is waiting for you at the front desk, pretending to type away at something on the computer but you know better. You’ve done this song and dance too many times. 
“What the fuck did he do this time?” 
He quirks an eyebrow, sliding a clipboard with the usual paperwork your way as he speaks. “What do you think?” 
You nearly rip through the paper from pressing the pen so hard as you sign. “You’re fucking kidding me.” 
“Ma’am, language,” a young officer warns.
You’ve never seen him before and the stern look on his face pisses you off even more. His eyes widen in what must be fear because he scrambles back to the filing cabinet at the back of the room without speaking. “I didn’t know you had a new bitch, Han.” 
Jeonghan takes his clipboard back before you can whack him with it. “Nope, that's still your fiancé. Chan, go get Soonyoung from the box.” 
“Tell him I’ve got a hammer in the car for his balls,” you call. 
“Please refrain from making threats inside the police station.”
Soonyoung has the sense to look afraid when he rounds the corner. He’s still in his work clothes, oil stained shirt and dirty coveralls, hair matted to his forehead. You can only imagine what he sees. Last time you picked up he’d still been drunk from a bar fight and you made him sleep on the porch with Jeonghan’s engine as an alarm clock. You’d been too tired to make threats, half asleep the entire time. This time, you feel on the verge of crying, throwing up, and exploding into a fiery rage.
You don’t wait for him while Jeonghan hands over the bag of Soonyoung’s belongings. Halfway to the car, he races to catch up without a word and goes as far as rushing ahead to open the driver's door for you. There’s a fraction of a second you contemplate speeding off before he can get into the passenger seat, let him walk home in the dark as punishment for being a dumbass. But you don’t. You want to yell at him for being a dumbass until your throat bleeds.
The car smells like motor oil and sweat with him so close in the passenger seat. You gag at the stench, rolling all the windows down to avoid vomiting. The last thing you want right now is to need him.
Under usual circumstances the silence hanging heavy in the air would be comfortable, familiar and warm with the golden hue of the sunset and the sound of cicadas not far off. The world holds its breath, but you don’t.
“Do you know how embarrassing it is to find out you got arrested from someone sending me your mugshot?” you ask at the first red light. Soonyoung tries to answer but you cut him off. “No, you don’t. Because I’d never put you in that position.”
He grumbles out the window. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re better than me.”
“You think I’m pissed because I think I’m better than you? I’m pissed because you act like a fucking loser. I’m pissed because you’re a liar! You promised me you wouldn’t do this dumb shit anymore. YOU PROMISED ME. And I look like an idiot because I’m stupid enough to trust you.”
You wait for an excuse. Some honeyed platitude about how much he loves you and it being a mistake and how it’ll never happen again but Soonyoung offers nothing. 
“What do you want me to say?” he asks.
You scoff. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t.”
“Clearly!” you shriek, the vein in your neck throbbing. “Do you know how it feels to have my friends send me your mugshot? I’m at home tearing my hair out and you’re street racing some kid for kicks.”
“He wasn’t a kid—” 
“I don’t give a fuck!” The edges of your vision scorch red, teeth gnashing. You’ve never been this angry with him. You’ve never been this angry, period. “Grow up!”
He’s lucky Jeonghan caught him and not one of the other officers hell bent on cleaning up the streets. He’s lucky you didn’t have to front bail money neither of you have, especially now. Instead of spending the weekend in jail, Soonyoung’s punishment is fixing whatever Jeonghan sends his way for the next month free of charge but it’s not enough, not even close.
The kill shot bubbles on the tip of your tongue but that last bit of self control keeps it under lock and key. This isn’t how you thought you’d tell him, nowhere close to the way the evening happened in your head before you saw that picture. You wanted to surprise him. Watch the way the news sunk in slowly then all at once. You remember the test you left on the kitchen counter for him to find when he got home before everything went to shit. The ember of rage flairs back to life.
“You wanna race so bad, go fetch!” You don’t think as you rip the keys to that cursed bike from his hands and chuck them out the window into the grassy median, gone in a flash. It’s only a temporary solution but it feels good. It’s the next best thing to taking a bat to his bike until there’s nothing salvageable.
Soonyoung sputters. “Are you crazy?” 
Maybe. You’re absolutely toeing the line of unhinged. The car skids to a stop, tires burning against the asphalt. Thankfully the road is clear of any traffic.
“Get out,” you demand.
“What?”
“Get out. Get out, get out, get out!” You repeat the words over and over until he does what you tell him to. You feel the suffocating tightness in your chest signaling tears are seconds away. 
“Baby, let's talk about this,” Soonyoung begs. He tries to reach through the window, he knows your weak spots too well. You snatch your hand away before he can take advantage.
“You can have this back!” You launch the diamond band right at his chest before taking off.
You get back home on autopilot. There are red lights and stop signs and other traffic laws you can’t remember if you followed but you’re in the driveway and barreling up the porch with shaky breaths. Guilt doesn’t cross your mind for a second. Soonyoung didn’t feel guilty for racing like a dumbass until he got caught, so why should you feel guilty for letting him deal with the consequences? 
The urge to do something mean, not just mean but hurtful with the intent of seeing Soonyoung sick to his stomach, rears its head. If that’s what you wanted then mission accomplished. He saved for a year to buy that ring and you threw it in his face like it was nothing but cheap plastic. The ire from earlier rushes out of you like a deflating balloon. Your fingers itch for a cigarette but unlike your now ex fiance, you have to cut out all your vices. There’s no relief in pacing back and forth. There won’t be any solace inside the house either. You’re so tired. All the highs and lows of the day have drained you of everything. You don’t want to be mad or sad or anything anymore. You just want to go to bed and sleep off the entire day. 
You want to leave but you don’t. You want to yell some more but Soonyoung will be at least another hour. There’s nothing to anxiously clean while waiting so you water the crispy plants on the porch while you wait.
Jeonghan’s cruiser pulls into his driveway across the street thirty minutes later. Still no sign of Soonyoung, not a missed call or text. You think to worry but he gets out of Jeonghan’s passenger seat and trudges your way.
He looks angry and tired. But your swollen eyes and splotchy face melts the furrow in his brows.
“I’m—”
You silence him with a blast from the water hose. Soonyoung takes his punishment like a man, standing completely still while you douse him from head to toe. 
“I deserve that. Please, just listen to me—” He’s silent with another stream aimed at his chest. You feel some validation seeing him embody the way you feel: pathetic. 
“Will you put the hose down so we can talk about this?”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” you huff, dropping the hose for him to clean up.
“Then I’ll talk and you listen.”
“No.” You head towards the door with no intention of letting Soonyoung inside. “Go sleep at Jeonghan’s, I don’t wanna be around you right now.”
“He already told me no.”
Jeonghan would take mercy on Soonyoung in this state; soaked to the bone with your engagement ring in his pocket.
You turn to face him. “I want you to get rid of your bike.”
Soonyoung stays at the foot of the stairs leading up the porch. He knows how you feel and he has the sense to look ashamed.
“You want me to sell Tammy?” he asks.
“I want Tammy to fall off a cliff into the abyss but that’s obviously not going to happen,” you seethe, blinking away more frustrated tears.
“I have a lot of good memories with Tammy.”
“What? The first time you got arrested? Or the time you fell off and broke your arm? Oh, I know! When you ended up in a ditch?”
“The time I asked you to be my girlfriend. And the time I won enough money to help put a down payment on the house. When—“
“It’s me or her.”
Does it feel juvenile giving your fiance an ultimatum between you and a godforsaken bike? Absolutely. But you’ve got a kid to think about now and the thought of Soonyoung missing their life because he’s too busy chasing the rush makes you sick.
“It’s you.” Soonyoung says it with finality but you don’t believe him.
“Then prove it.”
“I’ll do anything.”
“Sell it. First thing tomorrow morning.”
He laughs bitterly. “I’m not selling my bike.”
“Then I’ll be sure to tell your kid their dad is a fucking loser.” 
He blinks like the words don’t fully set in but your back is already to him by the time they do. Locked inside the house, you lean back against the door. You don’t want him to hear the crack of breath in your throat breaking into hot, wet tears. 
“What do you mean my kid?” Soonyoung’s panicked voice comes through the door. “YN! Open the door!”
“Go away.”
His whispered curses slip through the door while he scrambles for the spare key hidden in the potted plant by the door. If you really wanted him locked out, you would’ve remembered to move it before he got home. Part of you does want him stuck as far away as possible. You don’t want to face him because you know he’ll kiss your tears away and that’s all you want right now. You want him to hold you, promise you everything will be okay.
The lock of the bedroom door clicks into place right as Soonyoung gets the front door open. You hear him downstairs, looking for where you’re hidden. You can plot his course in your head: straight through the living into the kitchen where one of the positive tests waits to greet him on the counter, then he comes racing up the stairs and outside the door.
He twists the doorknob with no success. “YN.”
“Go away,” you sniffle into the pillow. His pillow. You’re on his side of the bed, in one of his old shirts because even if you wish you hated him.  
A dull thud against the door and a sigh signals his departure. You hear him shuffling back downstairs, but the sound of the front door never comes. The fatigue of the day takes over swiftly. Surrounded by the comforting smell of Soonyoung, you fall asleep until the smell of food wafts up through the vents. Not burnt but if Soonyoung is in the kitchen then it’s only a matter of time.
You creep down the stairs, careful to stay quiet so you can sneak back up without getting caught. Soonyoung’s body blocks whatever he’s organizing on the counter but you tell it’s a bribe from the sight of take out bags piled in the trash.
“What’s that?”
“Dinner. Do you want some?”
He’s got an entire pizza with garlic knots and cinnamon twists laid out like a feast. You watch him pretend to be nonchalant but he’s glued to your every move as you approach the counter and shove an entire garlic knot into your mouth, chewing with enough force to warn you haven’t forgiven him yet even though you're close to it. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
“Then we won’t talk,” he sighs into the base of your skull, fingers edging beneath your shirt for the comforting warmth of skin on skin. 
“Don’t,” you say, but lean back into the warmth of his body despite yourself.
“I’m sorry.”
Sure he is. You know he means it. Soonyoung is always sorry but it doesn’t stop him from being a dumbass. But he’s your dumbass no matter how many fights you have.
He lets you eat, content to hide his face in your shoulder and his fingers warm against the waistband of your sweatpants. You hate crying and you hate crying in front of him – because of him – even more. The heavy silence of the kitchen and the love of your life clinging onto you like his life depends on it brings a fresh prick of tears. Once you start, you can’t stop. The tears keep coming as Soonyong maneuvers your face into his chest. His new, clean shirt turns into your tissue. You fall into him without hesitation.
“Are you really…” he asks quietly, dropping kiss after kiss against your hair while you wring out like a sponge. 
“Do you think I’d lie to make you feel bad?”
“No. I just—fuck. You’re pregnant.”
“Is that all you have to say?”
“How do you feel?”
You blow your nose into his neck. “Like I wanna punch my kid’s dad in the nuts.”
“He probably deserves that.”
“He definitely does.”
“And he deserves to sleep outside.”
“Yep,” you nod.
“But you still love him?”
“Of course I do, you big idiot,” you sigh, leaning back to look at him. Mistake. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” His brow presses to yours, face rounded out, soft cheeks that make you want to scream. Brown eyes shine beneath his lashes. Soonyoung knows exactly what he’s doing. 
“I’m still mad at you.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
You don’t but things would be a lot easier if you did.
Soonyoung takes the silence as an admission, and when you don’t object he falls to his knees, pulls your shirt out of the way and presses his face into your stomach. “We should name it Donatello.”
“No.”
“Leonardo.”
“No,” you giggle despite yourself.
“Raphael.”
“You are not naming our baby after a Ninja Turtle.”
“Mojo Jojo Jojo.”
“No.”
“Thanos.”
“Stop!”
“You’re laughing?” Soonyoung gasps, rushing to his feet to pin your squirmy body between him and the counter’s edge. “I’m trying to have a very serious conversation and you’re laughing?”
“You’re an idiot.”
“And you love me.”
You nod, hiding back into his chest where it’s safe. “Yeah, I love you.”
The silence marinates between you. 
“I’ll sell the bike, promise.”
“You’re not the best at keeping promises.”
“This time is different.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want our kid to grow up thinking their dad doesn’t worship the ground their mom walks on. Because I know she’s way too good for me and I’m lucky to have her.”
“I’m not too good for you, I hate when you say that.”
“You called me a loser.”
“I said you acted like a loser and I won’t take that back.” 
He looks away. “That’s fair.”
The icy wall of hurt freezes back up but you’re too tired to drag on the fight any longer. “When I found out my reaction wasn’t ’oh he’s being stupid.’ It was ‘how would I tell our kid their dad missed their birthday because he got himself locked up.’ That’s all I could think about. Explaining to our kid over and over why you’re never there.”
The words rest like a wet blanket over his flame of excitement. He doesn’t want to be that kind of dad; the one who misses their child’s life for something as stupid as street racing. Who leaves you to pick up a broken heart time and time again, two broken hearts.
You’re at arms length, Soonyoung examining you like a puzzle he can’t figure out but wants to try anyway. You hate when he looks at you like that. Like you’re the best thing he’s ever seen and he can’t quite believe you’re real. “You’re gonna be a great mom.”
“Shut up.” You hide the blush staining across your cheeks with another slice of pizza. 
“You are.”
“Well,” you swallow. “I need you to be a good dad. And if you can’t then I’m not afraid to do it by myself.”
“I know.”
“Good.”
“Can I talk to it?”
“If you want to.” You don’t tell him that the thing growing in your womb curiously of him is the size of a pea and doesn’t have a face, let alone ears. You want to hear what his first words as a dad are.
He rucks your shirt up higher until it’s bunched beneath your breast, stomach on full display for him to bury his face into. 
“Hi. I’m your dad,” he starts timidly. You bite back a smile at his earnestness. “I don’t usually make your mom this angry. Usually, she’s pretty happy with me.” His lips brush your stomach with each word, tickling them into your skin. “I hope you take after her. She’s smart, and she’s pretty. God, she’s so pretty. I remember the first time I saw your mom and I knew I wanted to marry her.”
You snort. “You did not.”
“Yes, I did,” he corrects. “We were at this bar. You’re not allowed to go there. Ever. Maybe when you’re thirty or I’m dead. But I remember seeing her when she walked in and I thought ‘that is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and if she talks to me, I’ll throw up.’ I still feel like that sometimes. Even when she’s mad at me. And then when I got the courage to talk to her, I didn’t throw up because your old man is cool.”
Your heart swells too big for your chest. The night you met him wasn’t the stuff of fairytales. You saw him across the bar, all blonde hair and ruby cheeks as he screamed with his friends. He did throw up the first time you talked to him. After an hour of riding him until it hurt, you melted boneless in his lap and he snuck away to the bathroom to toss the used condom. You faked asleep as he emptied his guts into the toilet bowl before crawling back to bed and begging for cuddles. Pure romance.
“So cool,” you tease.
Soonyoung laces your fingers together, nipping at your fingertips in protest. “Your mom is mean to me but it’s okay because I love her. You’ll love her too. I just hope you’ll love me.”
You fight the urge to cry, only a single tear streaking down your cheek before stopping. “They’ll love you.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so.”
“How?”
“Because I love you and I’m very smart. Remember?”
“I did say that, didn't I?”
You hum in agreement, pulling him up your body to nudge his nose along yours. 
“I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you.” You let him shower you in gentle touches, his hands smoothing up your sides. Soonyoung traps you between his body and the counter, his lips sweeping over your chin, your jaw, your covered chest. That’s when you feel it. “What are you doing?”
“Apologizing.”
“Feels a lot like your penis to me.”
“That’s a part of the apology,” he whispers, the weight of his cocky heavy against your thigh, harder with each controlled grind. “Can’t believe I knocked you up and I never even came inside of you.”
“I can. You talk about kids so much I bet you manifested this.”
“You want it though, right?”
“Yeah.”
You’re lifted onto the countertop, legs spread around his hips. He’s got one hand wedge between your ass and panties to keep you close. “Do you think I’ll be a good dad?”
Not the conversation you thought would happen while you’re tugging his shirt off and working at the tie in his pajamas pants but you humor him.
“I think you’ll be a great dad.” You kiss him gently. His lips, his nose, his cheeks that round in your favorite smile. “If you stop getting arrested. How are you gonna ground Michaelangelo if you keep getting in trouble too?”
“She’s gonna be too smart for that. Just like her mom.”
“Oh, it’s a she now?”
“I’ve got a feeling.” He nips at your throat, a sweet flick of his tongue to soothe the sting. “Back to me coming inside you.”
“I like the sound of that.”
“Gonna take it all for me?”
Your chin tips back to provide more skin for Soonyoung to mark up. “Want it.”
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he heaves. You’re trapped between a hand against the crotch of your panties and one pawing at your ass like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do.
“Take your pants off.”
An amused breath warms your throat. “Someone’s bossy”
“Yeah, and I’m telling you to take your pants off.”
“Yes, ma’am.” 
Shirt gone, sweats pooled around his ankles, Soonyoung stands in nothing but a pair of tenting briefs and the thin chain you gifted him a week after he placed that band on your ring finger.
“Wow, who knew you'd be such a DILF.”
His cheeks tinged pink from the complement. “I’ve been a dad for five minutes and you’re already trying to hit on me.”
“We’re engaged, doofus.”
“Speaking of.” He snatches his pants off the floor, digging through the pockets until a familiar ring appears. “Don’t take this off again.”
“You’re so dramatic.”
He catches your chin between his fingers, pining you in his gaze. “I don’t care how angry you are with me. When I asked you to marry me, I meant forever.”
You can count on one hand the number of times he’s used that tone of voice with you. Soonyoung doesn't get angry often; at least, not with you. The last time he talked to you like this was when you wandered on the wrong side of town late at night, alone and drunk without a way home. You were pissed about a grade and wanted to do something reckless like every other kid at your university got to. Luckily, Soonyoung found you before trouble could. He used the same tone to chastise you for an hour about how stupid you’d been. 
But he isn’t just mad at your antics. He’s scared too. You look at him — really look at him for the first time since this morning when you kissed him goodbye before work. Red eyes, lip bruised, not from kisses but the way he chews it when he’s anxious.
“I’m sorry.” You pull him back, arms wrapped so tightly around his torso he probably can’t breathe and you both like the certainty of it. The tension in his shoulders softens like candle wax but he doesn’t let go. 
There’s still the matter of damp underwear and his boner. You want him, the gnawing aching way you always want him. Between your legs, stroking your sensitive spots to life over and over again until you beg for mercy he’s too eager to deny.
You nose against his cheek, adoring kiss after kiss against his skin until mouths meet. Soonyoung slips his tongue between the seam of your lips. You feel it the way down to your toes. On instinct, your hand trickles down his front, wedged tight between your bodies to paw at the fabric. A few dry jerks is all it takes for him to unravel.
“Wait,” Soonyoung gasps, hips rutting into the tight squeeze.
He keens with another tug, neck flushing a pretty shade of pink. The linoleum bites into your knees before you mouth over his underwear for a taste of what's to come. You suck the head through his underwear before leaning back to tease him with a kiss.
“Bedroom.”
“Didn’t think I’d see the day you’d refuse a kitchen blowjob,” you snicker.
Soonyoung doesn’t laugh. He pulls you back up into a bruising kiss, biting at your lip until you’re sure it’s bruised. His hand gropes down your ass, fingers tight to your entrance from behind. Whatever he wants like this you’ll agree to.
“Want you on my mouth.”
You’d kneel over his face right here on the kitchen floor if he wanted. But knowing your fiance, his sights are glued to whatever fantasies boil beneath that blond hair of his. 
You race up the stairs, Soonyoung hands heavy on your sides. His thumbs press into the bare curve of your hips. Your clothes fall until just your underwear remains. You want to turn around and mount him on the steps but the second floor landing is close enough you don’t get a chance. 
Soonyoung flicks all the bedroom lights on, eager to see every part of you as you crawl up the bed on all fours in nothing but your underwear. A few years ago you wouldn’t dream of sex with a lamp on let alone the overhead light but years of his utter devotion to your body and wanting to watch you get off like it’s his very own miracle gave you confidence. He looks ready to jump out of his own skin at the doorway. You glance over back and arch your spine a little more, ass higher in the air for his viewing. You might just finger yourself like this to see him suffer. You’ve done it before.
You stretch out, naked chest on display. “Are you coming?”
“Fuck yeah, I am.” Unconsciously, he palms his cock and approaches the side of the bed, pulling you into a kiss with a heavy lick of his tongue.
It doesn’t take much to drag him on top of you, dick hot to your thigh, perfect to rut against. There’s too much Soonyoung to think of anything else. His hands pinning you in place, his breath fanning across your chest as he suckles across the slope of your breast, thighs surging between yours in a dry hump you can’t help but beg for more of. His hips stutter when you do.
He follows the same playbook you did earlier; fingers trailing to the wet patch of your wants, mouth following closely. You’re in for a treat when he’s on his knees like this. He wants to tease you the way you did him but Soonyoung isn’t committed to denying you anything, he wants to rake you over hot coals by giving too much. 
Your hands eagerly hook beneath your knees, legs spread wide before him like a feast..
“Taste so good,” he rasps with a soft suck at your clit. “You’re so hot.”
Even with the barrier of your underwear each lick lights you on fire. Soonyoung moans a lewd melody, lost in his own paradise. Your thighs twitch with each gentle prod at your entrance, folded away by his shoulders so he can touch as much as he wants.
The promise from earlier lights up your brain. You twist a tight grip in his hair, pulling hard enough to detach him from your body. Lips wet, eyes blown, Soonyoung tries to dive back down until another twist of your nails makes him wince.
“Call Jeonghan.”
His mouth may be gone but his fingers circle your clit in the way that makes you whine. “What?”
“Call. Him,” you command. 
You snatch your phone from the end table, forcing it into Soonyoung’s grasp. He still doesn’t understand what you’ve asked.
“Sell him the bike right now.”
“Now?” He looks down at your pussy still on display, underwear soaked in spit and arousal.
You nod. Soonyoung knows better than to argue. He’s back in your good graces but only just, the promise of shipping that infernal bike off to someone else keeping him afloat. 
Your body throbs for release, for his mouth to go back to work instead of whispering into the phone when Jeonghan answers. 
“Two grand? Bullshit! There's at least…” he trails off.
You’re not going to stop just because he’s busy. You grab your breasts, taunt nipples visible between your fingers. Clad in a pair of sticky panties and nothing else, you’ve reduced him into a stuttering mess. Any other night he’d already be smothering himself in the wetness. You can see the urge in his gaze as he swallows loudly.
“Four,” Soonyoung counters. His face twists between wanting to argue with the neighbor, brows furrowed, lips in a heavy pout, and watch in awe as you suck on your own fingers before pinching at your chest again.
You’ve got him distracted with a hand between your legs, pushing your underwear out of the way to flash him exactly what he’s earning. Flushed and wet, the smell of sex hangs in the air.
“Thirty-five,” his voice cracks as you spread your legs wider, pulling his hand right where it belongs.
Soonyoung bats your hands away, fingers twisting through your heat. A gentle prod at your entrance like he hasn’t mastered your pussy enough to make you stupid and strung out with a few touches. There’s no way Jeonghan can’t hear every pleased sigh, the wet noise echoing from your pussy, the annoyance in Soonyoung’s voice as they barter back and forth. 
Soonyoung leans over and spits where his fingers disappear, making you jolt with the force as he does it again. You nearly ask him to spit in your mouth just to see his eyes bulge but the opportunity disappears with the sound of Jeonghan’s cackle through the line.
“Fine, three. I’ll give you the keys tomorrow.” He ends the call, forces your hand out of the way, and eagerly makes up for the minutes lost.
Both of your hands find the soft strands of his hair to hold him in place. Your feet plant on the bed beside his wide shoulders, allowing you to hump his face pathetically only to be welcomed with a grunt. The rip of fabric registers right before what was once your underwear is left stretched across the middle of your thigh. 
“S-shit, don’t stop.”
His fingers spread for his tongue to lick between. You punish him for such a dirty move with a harsh pull of his hair that he loves more than anything. Soonyoung does what he does best: groveling for your forgiveness. You’ll give it to him like always. But you both want him to work for it; it’s better when he does. 
He spreads your legs wider, gives a pleased grunt when you hold him in place and grind into his mouth. 
“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant; vision blurry, body on fire.
Soonyoung moans into the sloppy mess of your pussy, sucking your clit between his lips, wedging another finger between the two already ruining you. 
“Oh god—there.”
Your thighs crush his head but he forces them up and open, pinned in place. The tender glow of the end escalates into a scalding burn as it rips through every muscle. You clench so tight around his fingers he can’t move them more than a tight curl. When you cry at the overstimulation he finally rests.
“Did you just—”
Pins and needles ripple through your muscles and all you can do is nod. Once the initial shock fades, there’s a smug twitch of his lips. He catches your foot and pins it before you can kick him.
“Shut up.”
“Have I told you how much I think about you being pregnant?” he asks, watching your every move.
You shake your head. His fingers keep working in gentle strokes, the wet noises quieter than before but loud in your ears. 
“It’s a lot,” he grunts. “Fuck, you’re gonna be so sexy.”
“I’m not already?” you half laugh, half gasp. The spark of arousal already demands more so you rock your hips down despite the sensitivity.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
“But I’m not sexy?”
“Don’t pick an argument with me right now, please,” Soonyoung begs. 
“Why?”
“Because I’m thinking about coming in you until you can’t take anymore.”
“Then I’ll be sexy?” you goad.
“You’ve always been sexy.” He punctuates the compliment with a kiss to your left hip bone. “Beautiful.” Another on your right. “Gorgeous.” One on the plush of your thigh. “I love you.”
He folds you in half, knees to chest like you possess the flexibility to stay there, ankles cuffed in his hand, lips hot on the back of your thigh. 
“We should fuck on the bike one more time,” you tease. 
“You want me to defile the mother of my child on a motorcycle?”
You moan at his words. You want him to come wherever he wants, as many times as he can. Until he can’t anymore. To feel nasty and used however he sees fit. You want him on top of you, behind you, bending you over every surface he can until you’re shaking.
“You’re about to defile me right here. W-what’s the difference?”
Soonyoung curls the fingers inside you tight, eyes glued to the way you heave before answering. He fucks into that spot that makes you his puppet and all you want is to ruin him the same way he ruins you with the slightest touch. “You said I should stop doing things that’ll get me arrested.”
You choke on another tease as he sucks on your clit, tongue coaxing pathetic sighs right out of your lungs. He could do this all night. He’d be happy to. Soonyoung grips you tighter as you squirm away. It’s too much. He knows it and that’s why he loves it so much, knowing he can make you cum hard enough to scream.
“Are the cameras still broken at the garage?”
“Yeah,” he grunts, already knowing exactly what you’re thinking.
“Then you can defile me at your place of business, over the bike. Just like old times.”
“No condoms.”
“How else are you gonna stuff me full of cum?”
Soonyoung groans, pushing your legs wider as his hips rut into the mattress. “Wanna come inside you.”
“Then get up here and do it.”
You’re soaked between the legs, sensitive and swollen. Soonyoung settles into the warm cradle of your thighs easily, pressing his cock into the wet mess of spit and arousal. Your body acts of instinct, hips tilting until he slips between your walls.
“Oh my god.” He laps at the swell of your breast. “‘S okay?”
“Yeah, they don’t hurt yet.”
The sharp edge of his teeth leaves lines across your skin while he sucks at your chest until your spine breaks in half. His fingers keep firm pressure against your clit. Sloppy but enough to keep you pulled taunt. You’ll come a second time if he keeps it up.
“Oh my god,” you echo. 
Soonyoung likes to fuck hard. Hard enough you feel like all your seams are splitting, just shy of shattering your limit. Now’s no different but there's a new edge of caution. Even with his hips flat, inside you until nothing is left to give, he tangles your fingers together and pins them over head in the pillows.
You push your body against his, needy and pliant. Blind want acting as a guide, your ankles lock around his waist. It feels so much better than all the other times he’s fucked you like this; knowing the risk of him coming inside no longer counts and he can do it as many times as you ask. 
The slap of your skin against his fills the room, grunts and pathetic whines passing between mouths with narrowed vision. Nails biting into his shoulders, you flutter tight, trying to pull Soonyoung deeper even if he’s snug to the hilt. Stretched full beyond belief.
“More,” you beg. Frantic. Needy. All those feelings Soonyoung can incite with the barest of touches and a look.
He rises back on his hands, lighting up with each pathetic whimper of his name. “More what?”
If you had the brain power you’d knock the stupid smirk off his face. “Fuck me.”
“I am,” Soonyoung taunts.
“Breed me.”
“Already h-have.” Soonyoung looks like he wants to laugh but he sinks as much weight as he can into his hips, rhythm clumsy but it’s so good you don’t care. “Fuck, such a good girl. Aren’t you?”
You clench around him. He isn’t the most inspired with dirty talk but he knows your buttons, loves to press on your praise kink when you least expect it. 
“Say it.”
“I-I’m,” you stutter from his fingers finding your raw clit. “I’m your good girl.”
“My pretty little wife,” Soonyoung gasps. “Perfect.”
Every bit of praise adds a drop in the bucket, chest tightening until it explodes without permission; shredding through your veins. Your teeth sink into his shoulder. Hard enough to bruise as you cry, “Soonyoung.”
He doesn’t stop for your orgasm, not for a second. You asked him to breed you and it’s his sole purpose until you’re both satisfied. “G-gonna come.”
“Want it, want you to come in me,” you sob.
Soonyoung grabs for your hair, a gentle tug with enough force your eyes open to find his.
“Want it?” he pants, tilting your hips to fuck deeper. You nod with limited room thanks to his grip. “Then take it.”
The sticky heat you’re accustomed to on your skin stains your insides for the first time. There’s no way you can go back. Not after knowing how right it feels to have him fill you. You shiver beneath his weight, nerves twitching from the idea of him doing it again. Immediately.
“Love you, love you, love you…” Soonyoung chants into your skin, lips slipping over your throat with each breathless gasp.
You roll down into the nasty feel of cum and cock, the minor relief not nearly enough. Not with the idea of sucking the combined taste off him rearing its head. But Soonyoung collapses with a point flex of his thighs to stop your motions.
“Holy fuck,” he shudders. “If you let me do that sooner, we’d have ten kids by now.”
You’re flustered at the idea. “Do you think my vagina is a baby rocket launcher?”
“It’s definitely something.”
“How romantic,” you snort. “Give it a few months and I’ll be so hormonal you won’t touch me with a ten foot pole.”
“Is that what you think?” he hums, face still hidden in your neck like he’s too exhausted to move except to lap at the dip in your throat. A subtle grind reminds you of his cock still wedge in your guts, stiff like he didn’t come hard enough to see stars.
It’s hard to think that after so many years together, this is the biggest love rush you’ve ever experienced. The urge to keep him wrapped in your arms for as long as possible brings tears to your eyes. 
Soonyoung pops over your face after the first sniffle, terrified. “Are you crying?”
“No.” You swipe at the tears. “Shut up.”
“Aw, baby,” he coos, failing to hide his amusement.  
“I’m carrying your child, sorry my hormones are all over the place.” You bat his hand away unsuccessfully, leaning your cheek into the comforting warmth of his palm.  “We’re ready for this?”
“I mean, I was planning to knock you up on our honeymoon anyway,” he shrugs, lips soft on your hairline. “Do you have any more of those tests?”
“Why?”
“I wanna see what’d happen if I pee on one.”
“Nothing.” You push him off, rolling onto hands and knees with your ass in the air, face buried in the pillows. “Now, fuck me again.”
Soonyoung pushes the head of his cock through the mess of cum leaking out before sinking back inside with a grunt. “Yes, ma’am.”
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miizuzu · 2 days ago
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“What the actual fuck???!?” You shout as items close by were picked up and thrown towards the naked man on your bed.
“Wait!!! Calm down!! Let me explain!!!” Satoru shouts back as he nimbly dodge every item you throw at him, moving closer towards you. 
“Oh no you don't, stay back!!!” You tried to back away when you noticed him inching closer. 
His movements were quick, next thing you know he had you pinned on the ground. His hands on each of your wrists, knees spread on the side of your thighs. You looked him in the eye before both your attention traveled down his naked body, his cock hanging loose, almost touching you. You let out a horrified scream and your knees move up unintentionally in a defence position, accidentally kneeing him right in the balls.
He froze for a second before rolling off of you and curling into a ball, clutching his member in pain. You cringed and whispered a soft “sorry” before trying to get up and run, only to be grabbed by the ankle and falling face first on the ground. 
“Pl-please… let me… explain.” Satoru is still curled on the ground, he has a death grip on your ankle. 
Your fall had cost you to nosebleed and you covered your nose and looked back at him, “F-fine. Cover up, I don't want to see your thing again. I'm going to the bathroom.”
He nods and lets go of your ankle. You ran into the bathroom, tried to stop your nose from bleeding but decided you should call into work first. After cleaning up, you got out of the bathroom with tissue plugged in your nose to stop the bleeding. You see Satoru dressed now, sitting and waiting for you on the couch. 
You crossed your arms and leaned by the wall, “So? What do you have to say?” 
He was about to come over to you and he noticed the tissue in your nose. “Nuh uh uh, stay over there.” You insisted. He sat back down with both his fists on his lap. 
“Sorry about your nose…” 
“Are you going to explain or should I just call the police now?”
“Okay, okay! So, have you heard that 1% of our population has the power to transmog into animals? Well, I'm one of them.” 
“How the hell did you end up in the pet store then???”
“You remember me saying my best friend is the shop owner? I… asked him for a favor.”
“So you're saying, both you and that shady shop owner were in on this? He knew about you and didn't tell me?”
“Well if you say it this way it sounds bad doesn't it.” 
You let out a heavy sigh as you ran your hand to push your hair back. It was true that you know about the 1% of the population with that power but you've never known or seen anyone with it, they usually keep themselves hidden, not wanting to become outcasts. 
Now what? You didn't think you would become a cat owner and now you find out your cat is actually a person?? To make matters worse, it's the one guy you couldn't stand. It finally made sense to you, how he would just hang around you when you were getting prepared for showers. You are now hyper aware of how he had seen you naked a few times while in cat form. Your face flushed red and you didn't want to see him anymore.
“Get out, before I actually call the police.” 
Satoru slowly gets up, looks at you with big blue puppy eyes, begging you to not kick him out.
“Now!!” You shouted and he walked out of your home. 
You pinched the bridge of your nose, you felt a headache coming and you flopped onto your bed, only to be reminded of what he was doing before you arrived, you quickly kicked the covers off before settling down to think everything through. 
At the pet store, Satoru was whining to his friend. “You actually thought this plan was fool proof. You're such an idiot. How did I even let you talk me into this?” face palming himself so hard his hand could go through his head.
“Suguru, you're supposed to comfort me and help me think of something to help get her to not stay mad at me!” Satoru pouts as he glares at his best friend.
“If I get sued I swear to God I will ignore you for the rest of my life.” 
“You don't mean that…”
“Try me.” 
Satoru biting on his thumb nail, feeling frustrated trying to think of ways to get you to forgive him. 
“How did you get caught anyways?” 
“Umm… I was… playing with Jr in my human form… while sniffing her panties.”
“On second thought, you are disgusting. Get out of my shop.” 
Suguru kicks Satoru out. Satoru was banging at the locked doors begging to re-enter, when he realized he was being ignored, he left to go home. 
Satoru has a home, a couple of humongous penthouses to be exact. No one could have guessed why he pretended to be a house cat. Satoru is rich enough that he could live 9 life times and it would not even make a dent to his bank. His parents never really cared what he does, only his happiness matters to them. Which could explain why he is so spoiled and thinks he owns everything. 
He went back to one of his penthouses nearby, laid on his bed as you occupied his every thought. He had never told anyone about meeting you before, he thought you would have forgotten about it by now as well. 
The 2 of you had actually met long again, while you were about 6 years old. Satoru had not gotten used to the transmogrification yet at that time, his ears and tail would show while he was in human form. He would get laughed at by the other kids and would panic and run off. That's when you found him, hiding and crying in a bush, his tail was wagging, knocking the bush which caught your attention. 
“Whatcha doing here?” Satoru jumped at your question, he wasn't expecting anyone to find him.
“Nothing, go away.”
“Are you crying?”
“Do you not understand? I told you to go away.”
“Why are you crying? Don't cry, let's play together!” 
Satoru was shocked, none of the other kids wanted to be near him when his ears and tail were showing, they all seemed to be afraid of him. He stares at your innocent smiling face as you reach your hand out for him. 
“Aren't you… scared of me?”
“Why should I be? Your ears and tail look so cute, I love cats. I wish I could have one but my parents said no. Why don't you be my friend? You could be my cat in secret!!”
The little you thought it was the best idea ever, as you gently pet his head to calm him down. Satoru snuggle close to you, feeling your warmth and happy that he found someone who sees him as him.
The 2 of you had a secret hideout, away from the other kids. You would ask him to show you his ears and tail, and he learned to control the transmogrification just to make you happy. Sometimes he would transform himself into a cat and let you pet him to your heart's content. Sometimes he would stay in his human form and just hold hands with you as you look at clouds in the sky. 
Satoru thought the days would be like this for the rest of his life, but one day you showed up with tears in your eyes. 
“Mama said we have to move, she said papa doesn't want us anymore.”
“Where are you going to move? When??” 
Satoru doesn't want you to leave. He wants to be with you.
“I don't know where we are going, Toko? I'm not sure, but we are leaving by train tonight. I'm here to say goodbye.”
“No!! Please don't leave!! You're my only friend!! I'll be your cat! Stay!!”
It wasn't something he could decide, you gave him one final hug before leaving. Satoru was feeling down for the longest time, his parents did everything they could to try and cheer him up but nothing would work. He asked his parents where Toko was, and they were just confused. 
Growing up, he made one other friend, Suguru Geto. He told Suguru about his secret but he would never show anyone his cat form, he promised himself that form is only for you. He swore he would find you and become your cat. When he turned 20, he moved to Tokyo with Suguru, still keeping you in mind. 
Suguru worked at an animal shelter and Satoru would go and visit him whenever he got bored. He never would have thought he would run into you again. 
You were rushing into the animal shelter with a kitten in your arms, you found it shivering under a tree and decided to bring it to the shelter. 
Satoru was so happy to see you that he went straight to you and started talking, but for some reason you didn't acknowledge him, almost as if you didn't remember who he was, your attention was focused on the kitten you brought with you. He thought he had the wrong person for a second because of how cold you were towards him. But he quickly realized it was really you just by how you treated the kitten. 
He found your workplace, where you lived. Finding out that you moved out from your mom's place when she got into a new relationship, wanting to give them personal space. The only thing he couldn't figure out was what happened to you, how you've changed from the cheerful and friendly self to someone who didn't like human interactions. 
Suguru wanted to open a pet store and Satoru supported him financially. Picking the location to be between your workplace and your home, hoping one day you would notice him. 
His wish came true when he saw you, on the other side of the display window, playing with the kittens from the other side of the glass. You looked so happy and was your old self again. 
He would just hide in the back and watch you, it took months before he worked up the courage to go to your work. He was too shy to have you serve him, always just peeking at you while you worked as your coworkers prepared his order. 
It took him a long time to convince Suguru to let him pretend to be a cat waiting for adoption, Suguru had a bet with him, thinking it would never work, only for you to come in the store the very same day to take Satoru home. He fell harder for you when you put him first, wrapping your scarf around him to keep him warm, making him meals for him and always petting him.
Now laying in his own bed, he hates himself for messing everything up. He was happy with just being your cat, his greediness has cost him to lose you. His large bed feels cold and empty, already missing your warmth and your gentle pats.
You woke up in your bed, the headache knocked you out for a while. It was already around dinner time. You got out to the kitchen and started preparing your dinner. “What would you like to eat Sa-” suddenly remembers that you've kicked him out already. “Argh.” You grunted to yourself as you prepared dinner for yourself. You missed the company, it's only been a few weeks but you got used to having him around and now the house feels a little too empty and quiet. 
You went to bed and your twin size bed feels so empty, Satoru didn't take up much space but it just feels different. You've gotten used to Satoru snuggling against you as you sleep, it took a while before you were able to finally sleep. 
You felt extra tired at work the next day due to lack of sleep, you were focusing on work when you saw the white haired man enter the shop. The audacity of this guy, you thought. He got in line, he ended up at your register, you kept a smile on your face but he could feel the daggers from your eyes piercing him. He didn't try anything, just placing his regular order. You decide to change his order, putting less sugar and more coffee. When you slid him the drink and watched him take the first sip, watching his face scrunch up put a genuine smile on your face. 
He saw your smile, even if it was just for a split second, he thought that bitter coffee became sweet just because of you. He sat in the corner of the store, still watching you work as you tried your best to avoid eye contact with him. 
The next couple of days rolled by with him showing up at the shop, you intentionally messed up his drink, making it more bitter every time. He would never complain about it, always finishing every last drop even if it felt like he was dying inside. He thought he deserves at least that, with you not kicking him out and all.
You feel like you should stay angry at him, for everything that he's done. But for some reason you couldn't actually stay mad at him, you missed his constant annoying remarks, you especially missed your cat, your home just feels empty these days.
He hasn't shown up today yet and you decided to go take your lunch break. One of your coworkers came running into the break room, “Hey Y/N!!! Your hot boyfriend is looking for you!” 
‘Oh no he didn’t’ you got up ready to give him shit, only to be met with someone who you never expected. You stumbled back and the colors were drained from your face. 
“Hey babe, took me a while to find you. Did you miss me?”
@moonchhu @non-artistic-license @entr4p3 @prtty-pink-angel @nonamevenus @victoria1676 @haithamsbb @jotarohat @birdwithhat @hel1nn @undercooked-chaos-noodle @akiraneedstobefixed
story i left it with another cliffhanger >_< i didnt wanna make it too long so now u all have to suffer... i tagged smut but realized there wasnt much from this chp.. i promise next one will make it up :D
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currentfandomkick · 2 days ago
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Is it bad i kind of want Jazz to drag everyone else attempting serious calls to the JL into a meeting and they straight up send a whole video with evidence only for it to end with her parents breaking in, a lot of ‘fucking Fenton adults’ commentary the cameras caught with her parents shooting and it Clearly Injuring Someone (i’m thinking second degree burns minimum) with Jazz snapping at her parents?
Maybe have Dash snag the camera and dropping it as ‘hi Phantom!’ Fanboy kicks in as Phantom is seen shushing a glowing green… tank sized angry dog, clearly trying to separate Floating Meta from the Fenton Parents.
Phantom is seen getting said pooch to chill out, shrink down and carried around like a purse dog while Phanton is shushing the pup with baby talk and asking why this many people are here.
Dash just says ‘oh, Jazz wanted to try and get you help for the ghosts and the hunters after you.’
Phantom, humming. ‘That would require them to use their brain. Yes it would, and if they call reports pranks, then they pranks! Yes they do!’
‘… does this have something to do with the scary clock guy screaming about ‘the Allen line is a blight to his existence and stories’ last week?’
‘Eh? One of us tries to respect privacy, and we all know clocky’s biggest rivals in voyuerism is the eyeball brigade.’
‘Tried to End you again?’
‘You’d think after the fifth failed assassination, they’d stop, ya know? hey, i gotta go before Red comes for Cujo—let me know how this pans out—are they threatening to make the town hop dimensions. Again?’
Dash turning the camera to the Fenton Parents being scolded by a pissed off Jasmine Fenton.
“And another thing! All future dimensions hops are to be cleared by the town or Phantom in an emergency!”
“Must i be a part of your mortal family drama?”
“Yes!” “No!” “Spook!”
“Yeah, i’m dipping. Tell Danny the upgrades worked like a charm on the thermos!”
“Wait a minute—give that to me! Technus right?”
“…yes and you are not giving him to Foley again. I don’t care about the bet and fifty years of service, that can be done after death and when this guy is not trying to take over the internet the wrong way. Go viral like the rest of us and then i’ll leave him to it.”
“No, if we send him in the thermos to the JLA maybe they can help!”
“No, they made their bed. If they want pranks, they will be gifted pranks. Maybe they’ll realize we aren’t lying. Or not—other than a few assholes things are mostly under casual chaos and frankly i dont want whatever the GIW got going on to spread, ya know?”
“Phantom i can and will tell Sam.”
“And? She’s liminal and not suicidal.”
“She is murder-y,” Dash muttered under his breath.
“About why you can understand animals?”
“Here’s the thermos, i am keeping my dog and please leash the town’s pet mad occulists.”
“Scientists!”
“You’re too colorful for science. Plus i have seen the wards on your home.”
“They never hurt to add!” jack yelled at Phantom flew off. “Now Jazzy-pants, give us the ghost!”
“Nope. This is for the JLA. He should arrive in a week, his name is Technus and he is a ghost that likes to try taking over the world in a looneytunes fashion mostly as he likes finding new ways to use technology. If you need to, trap him in a glitch and call Danny Fenton. Phantom likes to steal his phone.”
“He does what!”
“I told you to just get Phantom a second line. Its not his fault he’s an alternate Danny that died.”
“Phatom is WHAT!”
End of video.
JL member watching did flag it as possible worry.
Booster and Ted Kord see it and go ‘ph, that’s a Baby Danny Schordinger. He shows up at the Time Police’s place on occasion to yell at us and other agents. What do you mean he’s a prank? He mostly calls everyone out on an embodiment of Timelines’s behalf and delivers lectures for it. What do you mean—what do you mean prank calls?’
Like let these two be the ones to connect dots and poke the JLD with ‘so an embodiment of the timeline has this kid we call Danny Schrödinger. He may have called for help with his non-existent town. Which may have been dropped into out universe and timeline or be a pocket dimension city—unclear—but uh. Ghosts are involved. And the JL now has a ghost in a thermos on the space station. Help.’
The Justice League originally got a ton of emergency calls and emails from Amity Park: a town that doesn't currently exist on any sort of database, record set, and can't be traced at all. So the JL decides to ignore them.
This turns out to be a bad decision because now the calls and emails (including personal contact info) turned into a never ending, untraceable virus of a white haired teenagers parody of Rick Astleys Never Gonna Give You Up.
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imsofreakingtired · 2 days ago
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idk if this might be off the table but can you write about sevika finding reader on the bridge about to jump off of it but she gets there just in time
Feel free to ignore if you don’t like it !
thank you for the request anon </3
disclaimer: this piece is not meant to trivialize, romanticize, or dramatize mental illness. i write these to cope and draw the content matter from my own experiences. if you are personally going through something like this, please please reach out and seek help!! tumblr is not a viable replacement for therapy!! and as always if this content is triggering or upsetting for you, pls scroll away and take care of yourself 💙💙
don't let me go
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content warning(s): heavy angst, depictions of depression and self-destructive ideation (hurt/COMFORT this time tho trust 🙏)
"this world is a wasteland where nothing can grow if it weren't for you, i'd be here all alone i know in my heart this is where we belong this world is a wasteland... don't let me go."
~~~
*context: reader and sevika have been friends since childhood and now both work under silco.*
~~~
“Sevika,” you say. 
She grunts. 
“What’s your dream?” 
“My dream?” 
“What do you want. I mean really want.” 
Sevika rolls a broken bottle under her boot before pulling back her foot and kicking it into the river. It takes off with a sharp clinking sound, the music of breaking glass, before sailing through the air and plunging into the river water.
“Kill my old man,” she says.
“Okay, second to that.” 
She looks at you. “What d’you mean?” 
You stare back. She is only eighteen but looks older than her years, already tired of the world and its cruelties. She has grown too quickly for her young mind. Her body is hardened to the undercity. You love her with a hopelessness deeper than the black river dividing Zaun and Piltover. 
You ask again, “what do you want?”
She flashes you a rare crooked smile. “To live with you up there.” Pointing in the direction of Piltover. 
“In Topside?”
“No. In the sky.” 
There’s a pause. Then you say to her, “you’re so stupid.” 
“What do you want?” She returns. 
“Me?” I want you. The unspoken words tumble to the tip of your tongue, and you swallow them again. 
“I want a fucking break,” you say instead.
“Hunh.” She kicks another bottle. “We’ll get it. When Zaun is free, we’ll get it.” 
It isn’t quite what you mean, but you don’t try to explain yourself. You don’t tell her that she is the only reason you’re here, even when it sometimes feels like your will to live is clinging on by the fingernails. You don’t tell her that the sound of her voice anchors you when you start spiralling, guilt-ridden and full of self-hatred. You don’t tell her that the greatest fight in your life is not against the enforcers but with yourself. You don’t tell her that you fight every day because of her. 
Because you know she doesn’t fight for you. She fights for Zaun. 
~~~
Sevika watches you closely, though you never realize it. You have been acting strange nowadays, working for days on end without sleep or not coming into work at all. Silco has said nothing about it, because you’re one of his most prized henchwomen, but Sevika can sense something is off. You barely speak two words together unless it’s necessary, and when you do it sounds like your mind is far away. You look tired all the time and sometimes you disappear altogether, returning an hour later as if nothing had happened. And only Sevika notices the bloody cuticles, the swelling around your eyelids. 
One day she corners you in the passageway outside Silco’s office. 
“Are you sick?” she demands. It comes out more brusquely than she intends. She is mortified at her own concern for you. She doesn’t want you to see how much she worries for you, the effect you have on her. 
You look up at her in alarm. “No,” you say quickly. Too quickly. 
“Then why…” she searches for the right words, struggling not to betray herself. “Don’t lie to me,” she says at last. “Something’s wrong.” 
You can see right through her tough façade. You can see the concern in her frowning eyes. And all of a sudden you’re filled with deadly hope and an overwhelming desire to let go. Break down. Tell her everything.
But then you remember that most likely, she’s only concerned with the impact this may have on your usefulness to Silco—to Zaun. You’re terrified she might discover your condition and tell Silco to fire you, that you might be holding them back, that your emotional instability might make your jobs sloppy. 
So you do what you do best. You swallow your words. 
“I’m fine,” you say. “I’m sorry.” 
Her frown deepens. “I said don’t lie.” 
“I’m sorry.” 
“Don’t apologize, either.” 
“I have work to do, Sevika.” You try to move past her but she reaches out and stops you with her mechanical arm. 
“You used to tell me everything,” Sevika says. Was that a trace of sadness in her tone? Was it your imagination, or was there a softer look in her eyes? 
“There’s nothing to tell,” you say, and each word feels like a dagger in your own heart. “I swear.” 
You duck under her arm and walk swiftly away from her. 
~~~
It is a clear night and you and Sevika are on the rooftop of the Last Drop, sharing a bottle of wine. You can hear Vander and Silco arguing inside the bar, most likely on the topic of politics. They are already dreaming big, thinking past the long fight to overcome, visualizing a brilliant and abstract future. 
You do not see a future. On bad days you see nothing. 
On the good days…
Sevika takes a drink from the bottle and slings an arm around your shoulder. She can be casually affectionate when she’s in the mood, and you cherish these moments. You lean your head on her shoulder. Her skin is warm under her shirt. 
“What would you do if I died?” you ask her. 
Sevika doesn’t answer right away. But you feel her grip on you tighten. 
“If I lost you,” she says finally, “how do you think I’ll go on?”
~~~
When Sevika finds your note, the first thing she thinks of is that conversation on the roof, years ago. She has not forgotten a single thing you ever told her, and the recollection fills her with a terror she’s never known before. 
The slip of paper in her hand reads, you don’t need me anymore. Thank you. For all the moments you gave me before. 
Sevika doesn’t even stop to put on her cloak. She just turns around and runs. 
She’s too late. She’s too late. She’s too late. 
She tears down the street, pushing people carelessly out of the way. As she runs she activates the Shimmer cartridge in her mechanical arm. A hot rush, the familiar jolt, the searing pink in her vision. She runs faster, faster until the buildings are a blur around her, until the sweat flicks off her face. 
Between gasping breaths, like a mantra to you, she whispers, “Please. Please. Please.” 
~~~
It is too late to cry, it is too late to turn back, it is too late to think. Your chest is tight with all you remember. The waters churn under you. 
The only person in the world you have hung on for is Sevika. You tell yourself she will move on quickly. You tell yourself that your death would not make much of a difference to her. What was one person lost in the grand cause? Silco would be able to find a replacement in no time, and the great machinery of Zaun will continue to turn its weary gears. 
Sevika is now a part of that machine. Sevika will not miss you. 
You close your eyes and let your body fall forward. 
Someone screams your name, a raw desperate sound that doesn’t even sound human. 
A flash of rippling pink, a burning sensation around your waist, and then suddenly you’re on the ground. Someone’s arms are wrapped around you, someone’s voice is in your ear, and someone’s hot tears are falling into your hair. 
Sevika. 
Your eyes are shut because you’re afraid you’re already gone. You’re afraid if you open your eyes your senses will catch up with you, and Sevika will be replaced by the cold embrace of water, Sevika’s voice will become the rushing waves over your head. 
But she’s holding you still. She’s holding you so tight you can hardly breathe. She’s saying, over and over, “I’ve got you, I’ve got you, you’re okay.” 
And you can feel her heart pounding wildly against your ear, which is the only indication of how scared she actually is. 
You free your arms and wrap them around her neck. You let yourself break down. You cry until your chest feels like it’s tearing apart. She’s still holding you, her mech arm pressed into your back like a brace, and you cling to her tighter. 
“Don’t let me go,” you beg. “Oh god, don’t let me go.” 
“I won’t,” she says roughly, her voice shaking. “I never will.”
~~~
note: dear readers, i am sorry. 🥲
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riqomi · 3 days ago
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enemies ˖ 박성훈
박성훈 x 𝑓em!r .. g. enemies to potential lovers smut ──── BOOKSHELF ( 2590) tw. mean dom!sunghoon, raw sex (don’t be silly! wrap your willy), fingering, exhibition (they're in an empty class room), petnames (brat & asshole...), let me know if i missed anything..
riqomi says .. first time writing this kind of smut, please bare with me...
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the one person in the world you absolutely could not stand.the one person in the world you absolutely could not stand.
the smirk he wore like a second skin. the cocky way he spoke—always challenging you, always knowing exactly which buttons to press. it drove you insane. he had this infuriating way of getting under your skin, making you snap, drawing reactions out of you that no one else could.
like today. “are you always this slow, or do you just enjoy wasting my time?” sunghoon drawled, leaning against the lockers with that stupidly attractive smirk. you shot him a glare, crossing your arms. “are you always this arrogant, or do you just enjoy hearing yourself talk?” he chuckled, tilting his head as he raked his eyes over you, like he was undressing you with his gaze.you hated the way your body reacted to it. you hated that you knew exactly what that look meant. because the moment you two were alone… you wouldn’t be arguing anymore.
by the time you reached the empty classroom, sunghoon had already pushed you against the door, his lips crashing onto yours, swallowing your gasp. you gripped his shirt tightly, tugging him closer, bodies colliding in pure, heated desperation.
his hands gripped your thighs, lifting you onto the desk in one smooth motion. your skirt rode up, and he wasted no time, slipping his fingers beneath the fabric, brushing against your bare skin. “you’re such a fucking brat,” he murmured against your lips, biting down on your lower lip just hard enough to make you whimper.
“and you’re a smug asshole,” you shot back breathlessly. sunghoon chuckled darkly, his fingers ghosting higher up your thigh. “yet here you are, legs spread for me.” you hated how easily he could make you fall apart.
he trailed his lips down your neck, biting and sucking, marking your skin with deep bruises. his fingers finally reached your underwear, and he let out a low, amused hum. “you’re already soaked,” he mused, pressing his fingers against your clothed heat. “what happened to all that attitude, huh?”
you bit your lip, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. but then, he pushed your underwear aside, sliding two fingers inside you without warning. a sharp moan tore from your lips, your back arching as he pumped his fingers slowly, teasing you.
“there we go,” he murmured, voice dark with satisfaction. “that’s what i like to hear.” his pace picked up, fingers curling inside you, hitting that spot that made your legs tremble. you gripped his wrist, panting, your body already overheating. “sunghoon—” he pulled his fingers out suddenly, making you whine at the loss. but before you could complain, he was undoing his belt. your breath caught as he pushed his pants down just enough, his hard length springing free.
he looked up at you, eyes dark, filled with pure hunger. “you want this?” he asked, his voice low and taunting, as if he already knew the answer. you glared at him. “just fuck me already.”his smirk widened. “as you wish.”
and then.
he thrust into you in one deep stroke. a gasp tore from your throat as he stretched you open, the sudden fullness making your head spin. your hands flew to his shoulders, nails digging into his skin.
“fuck, you’re so tight,” sunghoon groaned, his grip on your waist tightening. he pulled back slowly before snapping his hips forward again, hitting deep inside you. your moans filled the empty classroom, your fingers clutching his arms for support.
sunghoon didn’t hold back—his pace was relentless from the start, thrusting into you with deep, rough strokes, making the desk creak beneath you.
“this is what you wanted, huh?” he muttered, **his hand wrapping around your throat, squeezing just enough to send a rush of pleasure mixed with a hint of danger coursing through you. his thumb brushed lightly over your pulse, feeling it race beneath his grasp. “you wanted me to take control.”
a shiver ran down your spine, a mix of defiance and raw desire, as you met his gaze. there was an intensity in the way he looked at you, a dark promise of more to come.
“maybe i did,” you managed to choke out, your voice coming out breathy, betraying the urgent need clawing at you from the inside. it was a lie, of course, but sunghoon thrived on this push and pull between you—this dance of power where neither of you truly wanted to yield, yet both of you enjoyed the game infinitely too much.
with a growl, he tightened his grip, and that little act made your core clench around him involuntarily. sunghoon responded by picking up his pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed off the classroom walls, mingling with your frantic breath and the raspy moans spilling from your lips.
“to think you spend all that time pretending to hate me,” he teased, his voice low and laden with amusement, untamed hunger wrapped in every word. “but look at you now—this is what you wanted, isn’t it?”
you couldn’t muster a coherent response, the wave of ecstasy washing over you had silenced any clever retort. all you could do was nod, as he thrust into you deeper, each movement sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you, igniting the simmering embers of desire into an inferno.
“good girl,” he murmured, leaning down to capture your lips again. each kiss was fervent, wild—filled with the need that had been building between you for so long. it was intoxicating, like fire and flame.
his hand tightened around your throat before moving lower, fingers digging into your hip bone as he positioned you just right, leveraging your bodies together with an exquisite thrill. you could feel the swell of your orgasm building just beneath the surface, each thrust drawing you closer to the edge.
“sunghoon, i’m—” you gasped, your words barely hanging on as he hit that spot inside you that made stars flash behind your eyes.
“shh, just feel it,” he coaxed, his voice thick and rough, the kind of sound that wrapped around you tighter than his grip. “i want to feel you fall apart around me.”
and you did. the heat unfurled in your stomach, a deep burning that pooled in your core, rising and rising until you couldn’t hold back anymore. with a silent scream that seemed to echo in the empty classroom, your body tightened around him, stars exploding behind your eyes as you reached your peak.
“fuck!” sunghoon groaned, and in that moment of pure bliss, you felt him pulsing inside you, his own release mixing with yours, flooding you with warmth.
the world around you faded away; it was just the two of you, tangled together in the aftermath—a chaos of limbs, breath, and hearts racing in sync. for those fleeting seconds, it was perfect.
but the reality came crashing back as your mind cleared and you pulled away slightly, eyes meeting his with a flicker of uncertainty. this was sunghoon, the boy who drove you to madness. the boy you loved to hate.
“what just happened?” you managed, feigning confusion, even as your body hummed with the aftershocks of pleasure.
he laughed, a rich sound that somehow felt too carefree given the circumstances. “what do you think happened? we just had a little ‘study session’—don’t worry, i’ll make sure to help you with your attitude next time,” his wicked grin returned, curling his lips as he adjusted himself and pulled away, leaving you breathless on the desk.
you shot him a pointed glare, but deep down, something shifted in you. perhaps this game you played was more than just that.
“i hate you,” you muttered, shoving him lightly with a laugh that betrayed your words.
“yeah, right,” he shot back, standing up straight and adjusting his clothes, that smug confidence never wavering. “but you’ll keep coming back, won’t you?”
and deep down, you knew he was right. the lines between love and hate had blurred far too much, and as you took a deep breath, trying to regain your composure, you realized that perhaps you loved the challenge he presented, as maddening as it was.
maybe, just maybe, there was more to your story than raging arguments and fiery encounters in empty classrooms. the heat still lingered, an electric tether that promised more chaos—and desire—in the days to come.
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there was an unsettling thrill in the realization that you might never truly rid yourself of sunghoon. the conflict that simmered between you was intoxicating, a heady cocktail of anger and desire that left you both breathless and wanting more. as you pulled your skirt back down and straightened your blouse, the warmth of his body still lingered against your skin, a reminder of the chaos that had just unfolded in the quiet classroom.
“do you always make a habit of taking advantage of empty spaces?” you shot at him, trying to regain some semblance of that confrontational persona you had crafted so clumsily. but your voice lacked the bite you intended, tinged instead with a bemused fondness that you couldn’t quite erase.
sunghoon chuckled, the sound deep and rich, as he ran a hand through his tousled hair. “you say that like you didn’t enjoy it," he replied, a teasing glint in his eye. “besides, we were hardly taking advantage. we were simply… exploring the benefits of having the classroom all to ourselves.”
you rolled your eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips betrayed your amusement. how on earth could he make frustration and attraction mix like an alchemical formula crafted in some twisted laboratory?
“sure, let’s call it ‘exploring’,” you quipped, trying and failing to sound serious as you moved toward the door. but the moment you turned your back on him, you felt a sense of vulnerability—an inexplicable need for distance, and yet an even greater need that begged you to stay.
“maybe next time we can find a more… elaborate setting,” he suggested, his voice sultry, laced with mischief. he stepped closer, invading your personal space with a steely kind of confidence that set your heart racing all over again.
“next time?” you hesitated, the word tumbling out of your mouth before you could reconsider. “i’ll think you’re getting attached.”
his brow rose in mock surprise. “oh, i wouldn’t dream of it. but i would like to keep this arrangement. it’s beneficial for both of us, don’t you think?” his tone dripped with sarcasm, but there was an underlying sincerity that you found hard to ignore.
“beneficial,” you echoed, tilting your head slightly. “for who, exactly? you don’t seem to be suffering, that’s for sure.”
“touché,” he admitted, that infuriating smirk returning to his lips. “but let’s be honest—this is just as much about you as it is about me.”
“don’t flatter yourself,” you fired back, more out of habit than any real desire to diminish the truth of his words. “i’m not exactly the type to play along with just anyone.”
“maybe i’m not just anyone,” he countered, stepping even closer now, his gaze locking onto yours in a way that sent a thrill shooting down your spine. “maybe i’m exactly what you never knew you wanted.”
that sun-kissed confidence he carried with him was almost suffocating. you found yourself at war again, between wanting to push him away and wanting to pull him closer. trust him? not a chance. but the very intensity of the heat that radiated between you was maddening—existing somewhere beyond reason, rules, and resentment.
your thoughts were interrupted by the sudden blaring of the bell reverberating through the hallways, jolting you back to reality. you stepped back, breaking the spell that had hung thickly in the air.
“that’s our cue,” you announced, attempting to sound indifferent while your heart raced. “we should probably act like normal students again before someone catches us.” internally, your mind was crafting potential scenarios—what would your friends think? what would your teachers say if they found you two?
sunghoon smiled, a wicked glint in his eyes that told you this was far from over. “normal?” he repeated, chuckling as he stepped back and adjusted his belt, his demeanor far too relaxed for your comfort. “i don’t think we’ve ever truly been normal.”
“maybe we should start,” you shot back, adding a dramatic roll of your eyes for good measure as you made your way toward the door.
“oh, but what’s the fun in that?” he teased, following closely behind, his voice like velvet against the harshness of reality you were both returning to. “normal can be so dreadfully boring.”
you scoffed, even as you felt a rush of excitement and something deeper unfurling within you. there was an undeniable spark between you, one that ignited into flames every time you met in secret like this. as you opened the door, sunlight flooded the dim room, and you squinted momentarily. for a brief second, you considered what lay ahead—did you truly want to risk giving in completely to this intoxicating chaos?
stepping out into the hallway, you turned to face him again, just as he stepped into your personal space uninvited. “one last question,” he said, his voice low, the playfulness swept aside for something more serious. “what happens now?”
you hesitated, weighing your options. could you admit to the truth—the undeniable attraction, the complexity of your feelings? but the fear of what that truth might represent held you back. instead, you opted for the deflection. “well, now we pretend to go back to hating each other,” you challenged, putting on your bravest face.
he shook his head, his expression softening momentarily. “you can pretend all you want, but we both know it’s not over. not for either of us.” just like that, the easy confidence returned, as if he was certain his words held power over your thoughts.
as if on cue, another student walked past, glancing at the two of you with a confused expression, and it was just the reminder you needed. you willed your heartbeat to settle, your mind racing once more. maybe you could still argue with him, push back, keep this good-natured rivalry alive.
“see?” you said, your voice rising just slightly. “that’s called normal, sunghoon. i suggest you start practicing.”
he leaned against the wall, arms crossed, that irresistible smirk back on his face. “normal’s overrated, and you know it. let’s bet that we’ll continue this game of ours, and the winner gets to call the shots next time.”
you narrowed your eyes, discerning a challenge in his words. “you’re on. just remember, i play to win.”
as you turned to walk away, you felt his gaze burning into your back, and the thrill of the game ignited once more within you. the battle of wills would carry on, and somehow, amidst the chaos, you knew that this act of defiance against it all had become the least normal part of your life—and yet, it felt more real than anything else.
you would endure sunghoon, hold onto the tumultuous path he forged in your heart because, somehow, beneath the façade of hating him, there lay a dangerous enchantment that promised more than just chaos—it promised discovery; the unearthing of truths you weren’t quite ready to confront but knew you couldn’t ignore forever. and maybe, just maybe, that was the most thrilling part of it all
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hope u guys liked it ! pls reblog it would help a lot <33
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hana-recs · 1 day ago
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rania u deserve to hit me over the head with a stick for only getting to this now. not to mention like the ten other fics i STILL haven't gotten to (im the worst) but THIS FIC!!!!!!! oh my god.
it's so CUTE. i was giggling and kicking my feet the WHOLE time?? loved their dynamic (as always. bc that is something you're so GOOD at. making their personalities so different but so compatible!!!!!!) like reader being the tough ta who's actually super sweet and jun as such a dorky cute lil guy AHHH i love them. SO MUCH.
also the progression through their relationship was just so fun and so endearing to watch. THE BUS SCENE????
You let your head fall slightly. “Thank you though.” He faces you curiously. “For what?” “Just…” For being here? For asking if I’m okay? “I don’t know. Thank you.” He doesn’t know why you’re thanking him; if anything he should be the one thanking you. “Oh.” A small smile appears on his lips. “You’re welcome.”
screamed. cried. screamed again. THEYRE SO CUTE. and when reader let herself go a little when she was drunk oh my goodnessssss. slapped my hand over my mouth im not kidding.
“Come on, let me get you some water and then I’ll take you home, okay?” Jun offers, and you give him a tight-lipped smile.  “But I am home,” You slur lowly, circling a finger in front of his face, close enough you may jab him in the eye. “I’m home here… with you…”
-- again. fucking ADORABLE idk how u manage to make the most endearing characters every time. in love w them??? the softest sweetest interactions possible - like how supportive she was at the end when he was dissecting. and the GRANOLA BARS. im going to . yeah when is it my turn!!!!! rania please write my love life.
pulse points | wen junhui
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SYNOPSIS. Being the TA for your anatomy class has always been really rewarding, especially stemming in your passion for the medical field. But as it’s approaching the peak of the school semester and labs have gotten more intense, you aren’t surprised to be dedicating your time to tutoring your strangely handsome, dorky, yet enigmatic classmate during after school hours — and reassuring him how to not be afraid of dissections. PAIRING. wen junhui x TA!reader (ft. performance unit as jun's roommates + mentions of wonwoo and jihoon) GENRE. fluff, classmates to lovers, humour WARNINGS/TAGS. unrealistic TA x student dynamics lmao, lots of medical sciency-anatomy talk, talks about dissections n cutting into things (they dissect a sheep brain), mentions of tools used for dissections, yn is wayyy too studious its a bit unhealthy perhaps, their love language is napping together n sharing food :(, alcohol and drinking (yn gets drunk 😣), they flirt in the middle of a damn dissection AHHAHA WORD COUNT. 15.9k
notes: this is my fic for the "back to school" collab hosted by @camandemstudios! i hope u all enjoy <3 was lowkey hating this fic as i wrote it but... i think it turned out fine?!?! thank you to all my moots, specifically @bananabubble @slytherinshua @etherealyoungk and the collab discord server for either helping me w ideas n brainrot or reading over the fic!! love u all to the stars and back <3
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Three dollars is not enough for Jun to buy himself lunch. 
He could probably snag himself a stale, English muffin from the dining hall, but then he’d be walking around campus with a dry tongue until after his classes end. And unsurprisingly, he forgot his water bottle back in his apartment. Briefly, he considers texting Soonyoung or Minghao to perhaps drop by the apartment and grab his water bottle or even a quick snack that’ll last him, but the two of them were already knee deep enough of responsibilities of their own. 
Fucking capitalism. 
He’s already out of breath speed walking all the way from across campus and through four different hallways. The large windows of the science building bring in the natural sunlight at the peak of the afternoon, allowing it to cascade across the polished floors and right to the ends of his feet with every step that he takes. 
Jun purses his lips together tightly as he rounds one last corner before arriving in front of his current class: Anatomy. The quick glance at the time displayed on his phone shows that he’s around eight minutes late, which is way better than the fifteen minutes from last week. His shoulders slouch slightly with a bit of dread as he reaches for the doorknob and pulls it open.
Compared to the beginning of the year, there’s more empty seats in the lecture hall now. Honestly, Jun is surprised he hasn’t dropped out of the class yet, because his grade in all honesty isn’t… the best, to put it simply𑁋he’s passing, somehow, but just barely.
But he simply can’t afford to drop it and take on a new class like a snap of a finger, and he knows that if he bails now, he’ll only be prolonging his graduation date, a situation neither his parents nor his bank account would be happy about. He wasn’t even supposed to be in this class in the first place, but his horrible procrastination habits and the fact that the other classes he wanted filled up so quickly left him with no other choice.
Jun sits down in a seat near the back of the class, trying to blend in and hoping the professor won’t notice his tardiness. He swiftly pulls out his notebook and laptop and redirects his focus to the front of the classroom, where he sees Professor Lee already lecturing something about vascular anatomy and blood circulation, motioning towards the slideshow displayed on the screen. 
“…the brachiocephalic trunk branches off the aortic arch, which divides into the right subclavian artery and the right common carotid artery. These arteries supply blood to the arm and the brain, respectively…”
The words seem to flow through his brain like water. Even when he jots them down in his notes for him to study later, he reads the words like hieroglyphics. Perhaps it’s the hunger getting to him or just the mounting stress, but the lecture feels like it’s slipping through his fingers.
By the time Professor Lee finishes with the lecture, he has five pages of notes that feel like a jumble of terms and diagrams.
However, just as he thought he might finally catch a break, the slideshow switches to the next slide. 
“Now, let’s discuss the final major lab that will be crucial for your grades,” Professor Lee explains, a determined look on his face. “Your dissections that you will be finishing the year off with. I’m letting you all know about these in advance so you would have plenty of time to prepare.”
Jun’s stomach drops. Dissections. Of course, he knew it was coming, as it was quite literally listed in eye-catching bold letters in the syllabus at the beginning of the term. Yet the thought of cutting into anything and seeing its insides makes him almost squeamish. 
“This will account for a significant portion of your final grade. I can’t stress enough how important it is to take this seriously. Remember that dissections aren’t just about retaining names and locations in the body. They’re about seeing the relationships between different structures and understanding how they function together in real life.”
Every fibre of his being is aching for him to raise his hand and stupidly refute. He imagines what he’d say𑁋“I’m not good with blood,” or “Is there another activity I could do because I’m absolutely scared shitless?”𑁋but the words stick in his throat. Instead, he slouches further in his seat, hoping to disappear. He weighs all of his options, but they’re all equally unappealing: he can’t drop the class, he can’t afford to fail, and he certainly can’t magically become proficient at dissections overnight.
“Since the class has an uneven amount of students and the limited amount of specimens we have, I’ve decided to pair you all up. Y/N, may you hand out the partner lists?”
Jun feels himself tense in his seat as his eyes scan the room and land on you. Not only are you the TA of the class, but your seemingly calm demeanour as you drift throughout the room handing each student paperwork makes you appear almost intimidating to his eyes. 
When you finally reach him, he swears he catches a glimpse of a slight curl to your lips as you silently hand him the slip of paper that contains his partner assignment, before walking down to the next person. 
At first, the paper essentially states the same information that was discussed earlier: the dissection assignment, guidelines, and a list of required materials. But then his gaze falls to the part that matters most: his partner's name.
Y/N L/N, it reads. You’re his partner. Shit.
Your calm, composed attitude and role as the TA have already set a high bar for expectations in his mind. You’re probably going to be hyperanalysing and dissecting every aspect of his class performance, knowing his poor little heart wouldn’t be able to handle all that. You probably already have this tarnished reputation of him in your mind, with his frequent tardiness and the amount of times he’s dozed off in class.
Jun glances around the lecture hall, noticing other students exchanging whispers and glances at their own partner assignments. Some seem relieved, while others look as apprehensive as he feels. His stomach churns with the thought of having to work closely with you.
Professor Lee clears his throat and speaks, “Now that you all know your partners, I request that you all sit next to each other. These will be your seats starting from today and until the lab finishes. I also strongly encourage you all to exchange contact information with each other. Your collaboration together will be vital to your success in this lab.”
As the students shuffle around, Jun finds himself stuck in an uncomfortable limbo, watching as everyone pairs up and settles into their new seats, naturally exchanging contact information with one another. Then he shuffles for his backpack that was leaning against his chair in order to go find where you sit, but as he’s about to stand up, he’s met with you taking a seat right next to him.
Your eyes meet. A faint smile crosses your features. His backpack slips off his shoulders and falls to the floor with a dramatic thump.
“Hi,” You greet him softly, before offering a hand to him. “Granola bar? Had an extra one.”
Jun just blinks, eyes flickering between your face and the hand you have extended out to him. Then he awkwardly clears his throat, tentatively reaching out to grab the granola bar from your grasp, and the warmth emitting from your hand seems to crawl up his neck. 
“Thanks,” he mutters sheepishly, shifting his gaze away to hide a small upturn to the corners of his lips. 
The rest of class passes by in a blur, mainly with Professor Lee going over proper attire to wear and safety protocols for the dissection labs. And when the clock strikes dismissal time, students begin to filter out of the lecture hall, chatting amongst themselves as Jun struggles to stuff his laptop inside his backpack. 
You’re already gone to the front to talk to Professor Lee when Jun looks over. He watches as you hand in what looks like a stack of paper, only to be given another one right back, probably of assignments that the class has done lately. The air of professionalism that surrounds you is quite admirable, he would say. 
You seem to exchange a few more words with Professor Lee before turning on your heel to leave the lecture hall, the stack of papers neatly held under your arm.
By the time Jun is already on his way to his next class, he pulls the granola bar that you had given him out from the pocket of his jeans, unwrapping it and taking a bite out of it, savouring the moment as it relieves his nerves and gnawing hunger. 
Then by the time finishes his last class for the day, reality hits him the second he steps out of the building. Figuratively, and maybe even literally, at this point. 
He forgot to get your number for this lab.
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The click of your pen echoes throughout the vast lecture hall. Unintelligible mutters leave your lips as your eyes quickly scan over the papers in front of you with ease. Among the many tasks you have assigned as TA, grading assignments is one of them, and you find yourself marking and correcting each paper just as you’ve done many times before. 
There used to be rumours floating around that your grading style was particularly strict, even more so than Professor Lee. Though it was probably spread around with the intention to intimidate other students and establish your reputation as someone annoyingly meticulous, you hardly let it get to you. 
The truth is, you were fair in your grading, but thorough. You didn’t see the point in letting half-baked work slide, especially when you knew these assignments could determine someone’s future. Medicine has been your passion for as long as you could remember, and that dedication extended into almost everything you did. Being the TA for the class was just one factor of it. 
It’s much, much quieter after school hours when most classes have finished for the day, and it’s natural to bask in the peacefulness that drifts throughout the barren room. You sort out the papers in front of you in a neat stack before taking a moment to stretch your arms up above your head, a soft sigh leaving you at the tension dissipating away from your limbs. 
As you begin to shuffle through all the papers in front of you𑁋separating them into piles of graded assignments and unfinished ones that you’ll save for later on𑁋there’s a quiet knock at the door that makes you pause in place. You turn your head towards the door, anticipating for someone to come in. 
Then another knock.
You swear you see some sort of shadow in the door window. It appears then disappears, and you  roll your eyes, thinking it was just someone who was lost or purposely going around knocking on each door (which has happened way more than one could expect). 
The shadow appears again, and this time, you decide on heading to the door yourself. And as you twist the doorknob and pull the door open simultaneously, you find yourself coming face-to-face with Jun, who looks a bit sheepish as he’s caught mid-knock. His eyes widen upon seeing you right in front of him, and he brings his hand down to his side. 
You blink up at him, not expecting for him to be here at this moment of the day.
“Junhui?” 
It’s at this point of his life that Jun realises he really isn’t used to people calling him by his proper first name. But the way you say it is different𑁋soft and warm, like an unexpected compliment.
“Uh, hi,” he greets a tad bit awkwardly, mentally slapping himself in the face. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” 
“Oh, no, you’re not. Don’t worry,” You tell him reassuringly, catching the way his eyes seem to flicker everywhere but on you. “Is there anything I can help you with?” 
Jun fidgets slightly, his gaze bouncing between the floor and your face. He takes a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. “Actually, I... um, forgot to get your number earlier today. For… for the lab, I mean. Professor Lee said we should exchange information so I thought I would ask. Unless you don’t want to, of course.”
You raise an eyebrow, a hint of a smile playing at your lips. “Ah, I see. No problem. I’m glad you came by to get it. Here, let me just𑁋”
You shove into your back pocket to retrieve your phone, only to feel that it wasn’t there. Then you glance over to your desk, seeing it sitting next to your abundance of papers, before returning back to Jun.
You shove a hand into your back pocket to retrieve your phone, only to feel that it wasn’t there. Then you glance over to your desk, seeing it sitting next to your abundance of papers, before returning back to Jun.
“Here, you can come in. Let me just get my phone real quick.” You step to the side and open the door wider for him.
Jun visibly hesitates in the doorway, before muttering a quiet thank you and stepping inside the lecture hall. It’s certainly a sight to see the room so stripped of other students besides you and him, the sounds of his footsteps bouncing off the walls. He takes in the stacks of papers that you have spread across your desk, and he feels some nerves snake their way up his spine at the thought of you grading his work.
“Wow, that looks like a lot,” he comments gingerly. 
“Yeah, it’s quite the pile, right?” You agree with a light chuckle as you grab your phone and unlock it. “Always happens near the end of the sem.” 
Jun’s eyes wash over you with a look of concern. “That seems… stressful.”
You just shrug nonchalantly. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. Besides, it keeps me busy.” 
“Well, you should get some good rest after this then,” he remarks coolly. 
“Wish I could, but I have some tutoring scheduled in about half an hour,” You say, tone warm but tinged with a hint of weariness as you glance at the time on your phone. “One of the students in the intro biology class needs help with some of the basics before their midterm. So… rest will have to wait.”
From that, Jun shifts awkwardly, his fingers playing with the strap of his backpack. His brain races as he considers his options. You’re clearly knowledgeable and dedicated, not to mention you seem approachable, but the thought of admitting how much he’s struggling makes his throat dry, plus the guilt of adding more to your busy plate. 
“Tutoring, huh?” Jun finally says, trying to sound casual. “Is that… something you do a lot?”
You nod, tapping away on your phone as you pull up your contact information. “Yeah, actually. It’s nice to help people out. Keeps me up with the material too. Usually I’m free most days at any time after classes.”
Jun continues to gaze at you wonderingly until after you pick up your head to look at him, to which he faces away immediately. He scratches the back of his neck bashfully, before fixing his posture and clearing his throat.
“Do you… have room for one more student?” Then he feels the immediate regret afterwards. “It’s okay if not. I know that you’re busy and all that𑁋”
“Junhui,” You interrupt gently, a calm smile on your face. “I have room. Don’t worry about it.
He lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding, the reassuring warmth on your face easing the knots in his stomach. “Really? You wouldn’t mind?”
“I’d be more than happy to find a time that works for us both. Just let me know what you need, and we’ll figure a time out. We’re lab partners, after all,” You say gleefully. “Speaking of which, you can put your number in here.”
You extend an arm with your phone in-hand. Jun takes the phone from your hand, his fingers brushing against yours for a brief moment, and types in his phone number and information. When he hands the phone back, he looks up to meet your eyes, trying to muster a more confident expression.
“Thank you so much, really, I…” His voice trails off for a moment, trying to regain his words. “I’ll owe you one for this, truly.” 
“There’s no need.”
Jun shakes his head. “Seriously, I’ll feel bad.”
You bite at your bottom lip in thought, an endearing look washing over your features as you consider his insistence. The pleading in his eyes is hard to ignore, and it makes your heart soften in your chest. You take a moment to think before offering a small, playful grin.
“Alright.” You cross your arms together. “We’ll see.” 
Perhaps… you aren’t as intimidating as he thinks.
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Jun is staring at a sheep brain. 
Not a real one𑁋a picture of one, specifically. It’s apparently very similar to the human brain, and the specimen he’s expected to dissect for the upcoming lab. 
He stares at the image displayed on the large screen right before his eyes, feeling a strange mix of fascination and dread. The detailed structures and labels are overwhelming, each word swimming in and out of focus as he tries to absorb the information. It's not that he isn't interested𑁋on the contrary, there's a part of him that's genuinely curious about how it all works, and the other part of him is utterly disturbed. 
You’re sitting next to him again, just like everyone else is sitting next to their partners, taking notes and even drawing a very rushed outline of the brain on your paper. 
“We have to dissect that…?” Jun whispers under his breath, as if speaking any louder might bring the brain to life. 
“Yep,” You reply, glancing over at Jun. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”
Jun attempts to stifle a groan, eyes going between the image on the screen and down to his near-empty notes. He can’t help but wonder how on earth he’s going to get through this without completely embarrassing himself.
Letting your eyes roam over Jun for a moment, the visible discomfort in the way he crosses his arms together and the furrow in his brow doesn’t escape your notice. Casually, you scoot your chair towards him a little bit, along with your notebook so that it’s settled in the space between the two of you with the outline of the brain clearly visible on the page. Your shoulder almost brushes against his. 
“Here,” You say softly, tapping your pen on the page. “I’ve got the main structures labeled already. You can add them to your notes if you want. I can explain it to you in more detail when you come to tutoring tomorrow?”
Oh, that’s right. Tomorrow is the day you both were free and decided it was the day where Jun could stop by after classes end to have his first tutoring session with you. 
“Yeah, uh, that would be great,” Jun responds quietly, peeking over at how neat and organised your notes appeared to be. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” You nod, before soundlessly shuffling inside your bag and extending it out to Jun. “Granola bar?” 
Jun glances at the granola bar being offered by you, its wrapper crinkling slightly as you hold it out to him. He smiles, a little lopsided but genuine, and takes the bar from you. The hesitation in his shoulders has deflated slightly than from the first time you proposed one to him. 
Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
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“Bro, are you going out on a date or what? You’re stinking up a storm here.” Soonyoung lets out a few dramatic coughs at the sudden sharp scent of Minghao’s perfume hitting his nose, followed by Chan behind him nearly gagging at the smell. Though obviously one would expect for the owner himself to be the one using it, he certainly didn’t expect for the culprit to be none other than Jun.
Okay, yes, he may have accidentally sprayed a shit ton of Minghao’s perfume on himself, which was a bit of an overkill. But he clearly wasn’t thinking straight after waking up from a nap between deciding to take a really quick shower or stealing his roommate’s expensive perfume. 
“You think this is too much?” Jun asks unsurely. 
Beside him, Chan rolls his eyes while clutching a bowl of ramen. “You smell like you’re trying to cover up a crime scene. It might suffocate someone. Where are you even going anyway?”
Jun clears his throat. “Tutoring𑁋”
“Tutoring?!” Soonyoung exclaims in surprise. “For which class?”
“Anatomy𑁋”
“Hell no,” Soonyoung crinkles his nose at the mention of anatomy. “You're telling me you’re getting all dolled up for a tutoring session on dissecting brains and guts? Are you trying to seduce the organs or something?” 
Jun groans at his roommate’s words, shaking his head. But before he can say anything in response, Chan seems to beat him to it.
“Don’t you have this really strict TA in your class too? I’ve heard that they don’t even offer partial credit or crack a smile during lectures. Like, they’re just a machine, dude,” the youngest adds in.
It’s quite literally insane to hear that kind of description about you leave Chan’s mouth when all of his interactions with you have been nothing but short and sweet, to put it simply. Though he won’t deny he’s heard all those rumours spread around about you𑁋that you’re strict, and perhaps a bit intimidating. He’s had his fair share of moments where he felt overwhelmed by your grading and meticulous nature. Yet from what he’s seen of you so far, you’re passionate, friendly if anything, and your smile is… cute. 
Jun only shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah, they’re in my class, but I’m just trying to get my grade up before the year ends. I think I can handle them.” 
Soonyoung huffs a breath, stepping up to Jun and giving him some sort of comforting pat on the back, almost like he feels bad for him. 
“Well, good luck, dude,” he reassures him, though it hardly eases Jun’s nerves at all. “Don’t get crucified in there.” 
As Jun wanders down the familiar hallway to the classroom, he finds his thoughts beginning to second-guess everything. What if he ultimately fails meeting your expectation at the end of the session? What if he struggles to fully grasp the material and ends up looking like an absolute fool in front of you by the time the real dissections roll around? 
However, those thoughts are pushed away when the door to the classroom swings open before he has the opportunity to knock, with you standing on the other side. Your face seems to light up at the sight of him, and it makes Jun briefly think about what Soonyoung said earlier about you. Like… was he talking about the same person?
“Hey, you made it,” You greet him, stepping aside so he could walk in. “Let me just finish organising some things and we can start.” 
Jun’s eyelashes bat together in curiosity as he watches you rummage through some papers, before deciding it's worth sitting down to wait for you. He places himself down an empty desk, fishing out his notebook and laptop and whatever he may need, though he doesn’t really know. By the time you’re making your way over to him, you set your stuff right next to his. 
“Okay.” You let out a relieved breath, peering at him. “Where do you want to start?” 
Oh, he hadn’t really thought that far ahead yet.
“Uh,” Jun stammers, fumbling for a moment, his mind suddenly drawing blanks. He quickly opens his notebook to the page where he had jotted down some half-baked notes during class and is staring back at him like a puzzle missing half its pieces. “Maybe… maybe we can start with what we’re going over in class right now? And just go down from there?”
“We can do that,” You agree without hesitation, leaning in more so that you were able to see his notes. Jun draws himself slightly back. “So, as you know, we’re going to have to be familiar with the parts and functions of the brain since it’s also part of the dissections. What I like to do is break it down into smaller sections and tackle each one individually. It might make the whole thing less overwhelming.”
Jun just nods, appreciating the way you’re making things more approachable. 
You grab a blank sheet of paper and draw a quick, simple outline of the brain, labeling the major parts with clear, concise notes. “Let’s go over the basics𑁋the cerebrum, cerebellum, and brainstem. These are the main regions we need to understand before diving into all the nitty-gritty details. Is that okay?”
He nods again, moving back slightly closer so he can see what you’re drawing. 
“The cerebrum is the largest part of the brain and is responsible for higher brain functions like thinking, reasoning, and sensory processing,” You continue, pointing to the relevant part of your drawing. “It’s divided into the left and right hemispheres, and each one controls the opposite side of the body.”
Jun watches as you explain, occasionally nodding to show he’s following along. There’s something calming about the way you speak𑁋gentle, but confident, filled with poise. He tries to shake off the thought, reminding himself that he’s here to study, not to admire the way your eyes light up when you speak so passionately about a topic as ridiculous and complex as the damn brain. 
You’re so different from what people say. There’s no sign of the strict, no-nonsense TA everyone talks about. 
“...and that’s why the frontal lobe is so important for decision-making and problem-solving. I like comparing it to, let’s say, a CEO,” You explain. “It’s where a lot of our executive functions happen. Think of it as the brain’s ‘boss’ making the big decisions and planning.”
Jun blinks for a moment, snapping back to attention, quickly jotting down a note to make it seem like he was paying attention. He actually was, sort of. Somehow he’s lucky enough for you to not notice him being distracted (or you do, and he’s the one who didn’t notice). 
“Frontal lobe, right,” he mutters lowly, under his breath.
“The cerebellum is our little assistant to the CEO. It’s responsible for our movement, coordination, and balance,” You say, pointing to a spot on the sketch at the very back of the brain and above the brainstem. “Think of it as the brain’s quality control. It just makes sure that whatever movements we do are smooth and precise, so…” 
Nope. He still can’t detect those rumours that paint you as some sort of cold, calculated, and harsh TA. He spots not a single one of those in your demeanour. Briefly, he wonders whether or not those rumours bother you, if they’ve ever bothered you or made you feel misunderstood. Swiftly, though, he brushes those thoughts away𑁋he’s more focused on you than the material at hand. 
It’s hard not to look at you, in all honesty. 
“Junhui?” Your voice pulls him back to reality.
“Huh?” he responds, a little too quickly.
You tilt your head slightly, a small, knowing smile on your lips. “I asked if you’re ready to move on to the brainstem, or do you want to go over the cerebellum again?”
“Oh, um… no, I’m good,” he says, feeling his face heat up slightly. He hopes you don’t notice how flustered he is. “Let’s move on.”
You nod, satisfied with his answer, and continue your explanation, turning your attention to the next section of the brain. 
“The brainstem,” You begin, pointing to an area at the bottom of the brain with the pencil. “is like the brain's relay station. It connects the brain to the spinal cord and controls many of the body’s automatic functions, like breathing, heart rate, and digestion. Without it, our bodies wouldn't be able to function properly…”
Jun observes as you draw a line down the sketch, clearly marking the brainstem. He’s listening, or at least trying to, but his mind keeps drifting back to how comfortable this whole situation feels. He expected to be a nervous wreck, fumbling through explanations and possibly embarrassing himself in front of you. But instead, he finds himself oddly at ease, more focused on how you’re able to break down the complex information into something so much more digestible.
“Still with me?” You ask suddenly, looking up from your notes to meet his gaze.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” Jun answers unsurely, sitting up a little straighter in his seat. He offers a small smile, hoping it masks his earlier distraction.
A flicker of amusement flashes in your eyes, and there’s a warmth in your expression that puts Jun further at ease. “Okay, great. We can continue then.”
The rest of the session goes by surprisingly rather quickly. You guide Jun through the material, your explanations helping Jun absorb the information more effectively than the regular in-class lectures. It makes him think about how great you would be as a professor, or anything in the medical field. Everything just seems to flow out of you seamlessly as you discuss various brain functions and their relevance to anatomy and dissections.
As Jun is finishing up the last of some notes, you ask, “Would you mind if I write you a little sticky note? To tell you what to look over when you’re reviewing on your own?” 
Jun looks up, a bit surprised but grateful. “That would be good, thank you.” 
You stand up to retrieve a sticky note from Professor’s Lee desk, before returning back to Jun and writing down: 
Review over neuroanatomy and its functions! •ᴗ•  
Finally, you plaster the sticky note at the corner of the page in his notebook. 
There’s a comfortable silence that follows as you both gather your belongings. It feels like a small victory for Jun𑁋he not only survived the session but actually, in a way, enjoyed it.
As you both stand up, ready to leave, you glance over at him.
“By the way, I don’t think you need all that perfume on,” You say, a hint of laughter in your voice.
Jun’s eyes widen, caught off-guard. Shit. “Oh, uh𑁋yeah, that…”
You chuckle softly, shaking your head. “It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just… a little overwhelming. Maybe tone it down next time?”
Jun’s face flushes as he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry, I uh… was rushing and just grabbed what I could find. I didn’t mean to overdo it.”
“You’re all good,” You reassure him, still smiling as you sling your bag over your shoulder. “Just a little heads-up. So, anyway, for the next session…”
Next session? His jaw nearly drops to the floor at your casual mention of a next session. 
“...I think I’ll try and set up a little lesson plan we can reference off of… probably review over the cardiovascular system…”
“You… You don’t have to do all that,” Jun interjects. “It sounds like a lot of work.” 
You dismiss him off with a reassuring wave. “It’s no trouble. I think it’ll help to have a structured plan for us to follow. It’ll make sure we cover everything orderly.” 
Jun zips his mouth shut and just nods in agreement, unable to hide the small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, biting it back when he hangs his head down to the ground. When he perks back up, he finds you over at Professor Lee’s desk, sorting through some papers before organising the stack and preparing to finally leave. He opens his mouth, but the words he wanted to say stick to his tongue.
“I’ll see you later?” Jun calls out to you instead, his voice bouncing off the walls of the lecture hall. 
You glance up at him in acknowledgment. “I’ll see you later, Junhui.”
He takes a visible gulp.
“Jun,” he suddenly says, saying it as if he were correcting you, which in a way, he is, but it comes out a bit awkwardly. “You can call me just Jun, if you’d like.” 
A wave of surprise washes over your features, before ultimately fading into a pleasant smile.
“Alright, Just Jun,” You reply, tilting your head slightly. “I’ll see you later.” 
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One could probably say you’re a party pooper. Not necessarily intentionally, but instead of filling up your college experience with going to parties and social events, you find yourself buried within pages of textbooks. Your weekends aren’t filled with the chaoticness of drinking and loosening up; rather, they consist of quiet study sessions in your room and creating new lecture material.
You’re not avoiding fun𑁋at least, that’s what you always tell yourself𑁋you’re just focused on achieving your academic goals.
It’s a routine carved ever since you were younger, your parents constantly instilling that education is the key to success, and you’ve taken that message to heart. From an early age, you learned to prioritise your studies over everything else. As you grew older, you carried that mindset with you, where you’ve become known among your peers as the diligent, dependable student and TA who always has their priorities straight.
Your schedule is precise, your assignments are always turned in on time, always prepared for every quiz and exam, and your grades reflect the countless hours you’ve spent studying. It’s a reputation you’re proud of, but it also comes with a certain level of pressure𑁋pressure to maintain those high standards, to never let yourself slip.
You sit back in the seat, satisfied after crafting a proper lesson plan and organising your materials for your next tutoring session. When you glance over at your planner to see who was coming in today, the name that you spot is𑁋
Knock. 
You glance up from your planner and over to the door. “Come in!”
It takes a few moments for the door to swing in, and the tall figure that steps through is unmistakable𑁋light brown hair slightly fluffed out, a half-opened black backpack hanging on his shoulders, and an oversized hoodie that appeared way more comfortable than it needed to be.
“Jun?” You look at the time on your phone. “You’re here early.” 
“Oh, yeah…” Jun runs a hand through his tousled hair. “I thought showing up early could give us some extra time, maybe. Unless… unless you’re still busy?” 
You shake your head. “Don’t worry, you’re fine. Just give me a few minutes and then we can start?”
“Yeah. Take all the time that you need.” 
Once again, it’s only the two of you in the lecture hall. He ponders if you’ve tutored any students before him today, hovering near you as he watches you sort through some papers and adjust your notes. The room is quiet except for the faint rustle of papers and the soft hum of the air conditioning. Jun can sense his curiosity growing within him, making him fidget with the strap of his backpack. 
“So, uh… how long have you been a TA for Professor Lee?” 
You pick your head up from your papers, fingers resting at the edge of the desk. 
“Since the beginning of the year,” You reply. “I got recommended to him by some previous professors, and I guess I couldn’t say no to the opportunity.”
Jun nods slowly, thoughtfully. “Do you like it? Being a TA, I mean.”
You consider his question for a moment, feeling a bit reflective as you answer, “I do, actually. It’s hard but rewarding, you know? I get to help students understand the material better, and I learn a lot in the process too. It’s a good balance between teaching and learning, I would say.”
Jun takes in your words attentively, peeking his eyes toward you with an almost shy smile. There’s a quiet admiration in the way he looks at you that you don’t notice, as if he’s trying to understand how you manage to keep everything together so well. Then a moment of silence fills the space between you two, not uncomfortable, maybe a bit awkward on his end, but more contemplative.
Jun shifts this abominable weight pressing down on him from one foot to the other. He’s not used to being in situations like this𑁋alone with someone who seems so put together, so sure of themselves. It’s both inspiring and a little intimidating. The silence seems to stretch, and you can see the gears turning in his head, like he’s on the verge of saying something but can’t quite find the right words.
“I guess I wonder how you manage it all so well,” he remarks timidly. “You’re always so organised and… on top of things. I’m curious how you do it.”
You purse your lips together into a thin line and simply shrug your shoulders. “I’ve always had high expectations for myself growing up and I guess it’s carried into everything I do now. It’s become second nature, really.” 
As Jun takes in your words, that sense of admiration seems to soften into a bit of worry. It’s amazing that you could handle so many responsibilities at once, but the more he thinks about it, the more it seems like a lot of stress and pressure to manage. He wonders if you ever feel overwhelmed or if it ever gets too much to handle at times. 
You probably do𑁋you’re human, after all𑁋and a twinge of concern snakes up his spine as he thinks about.
“Anyway, hm… I was thinking about going over the cardiovascular system for this session. What do you say?” You ask him.
Jun snaps out of his thoughts, walking briskly over towards the desk to take a seat. “Oh, yeah. That sounds good.” 
The session is just similar to last time: you begin by outlining the cardiovascular system, breaking it down into different sections just as you did with the brain, and using relatable analogies with associating each part with their functions.
“...so the heart has four chambers: the left and right atria plus the left and right ventricles,” You explain, pointing down to the drawing you made with the tip of your pencil. “The right side deals with deoxygenated blood, while the left side handles oxygenated blood. The heart’s valves make sure that blood flows in the correct direction. Think of it like… traffic signals.”
“Traffic signals…” Jun mutters to himself as he writes down notes. Knowing that this is all going on within his own body wraps around his mind uncomfortably.
As you continue explaining, there’s that light again that Jun detects in your eyes, as well as the subtle lift to your lips that makes your voice just a step higher. His gaze also follows your hands that you unknowingly maneuver when you talk, the movements graceful and expressive, like you’re bringing the material to life.
“Are you familiar with where all your pulse points are?” 
Jun lifts a brow, thinking for a second, before taking a finger down to his wrist. “I think so. There’s one here… on the wrist…”
“The radial artery.”
“Radial artery. Yeah.” Then he drags the tip of his finger up to his inner elbow. “There’s also one here. The brachial artery, right?”
“You got it.” 
He grins bashfully at that, though it’s quick to fade when he focuses again, pointing down to his leg. “There’s also two here. Femoral and… pop… Popliteal?”
“You’re right,” You confirm wholeheartedly, and Jun’s heart flutters in small victory. 
Jun then brings his hand back up, using two fingers to point to a spot on his neck. 
“And, uh… The one here on the neck. It’s…” He continues pressing down into his skin to find where he can feel his pulse, but your eyes on him is causing him to feel a bit self-conscious. “Uh…”
“The carotid artery. Right here.”
Before Jun has a chance to correct himself, you’re suddenly scooting closer to him in your chair, leaning in and extending an arm out towards him. The sudden contact of your fingers on the side of his neck makes his eyes widen and his breath to hitch. 
Your fingers rest gently on the side of his neck, just below his jawline, and for a brief moment, the world outside of the lecture hall seems to disappear. The visible swallow of his Adam’s apple isn’t hard to miss as he tries to focus on anything but the sensation of your hand on his neck.
Heat washes over his face, and he swears to himself that you could most definitely feel the way his pulse is running marathons under your touch. All of a sudden his tongue goes dry, his limbs go numb, and the way you’re so close to him makes it hard for him to properly think straight, let alone form any sort of coherent response.
Your eyes meet for a singular millisecond, too quick that Jun could have possibly been imagining it.
Pulling your hand away, you clear your throat soundly. “Try it.”
It takes Jun a moment to register you were talking to him, and he tentatively replaces the spot where your fingers were at with his own.
“Right here?” he asks.
“Mhm.” Your gaze roams over his concentrated face. “Apply a bit of pressure. That’s the carotid artery doing its work.” 
His pulse is certainly fast. The thought has him sinking into a pit of embarrassment. 
But he only nods, keeping his voice steady as he says, “Yeah, I feel it.”
“So whenever you want to count your heart rate, this is one of the places you can check,” You instruct. “You can just press down on that spot and count the number of beats you feel in 15 seconds. Then, multiply that number by four, and you’ll have your heart rate in beats per minute.”
Jun attempts to listen to his heart rate, but the attentive look you have on your face as you watch him makes it really hard to properly count. So he chooses to let his hand fall back down. He wouldn’t be able to calculate it with you here with him anyway. 
When the two of you meet eyes for the nth time, there’s a fleeting, almost electric moment of mutual awareness. None of you acknowledge it, yet it awkwardly lingers in the air. Warmth spreads across Jun’s chest, coupled with a nervous energy that makes his heart beat soar just a little faster.
You break the tension with an airy chuckle. “Are you ready to move on?” 
Jun blinks a few times, shaking off whatever awkwardness swirling around him, and nods quickly. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
By the time he gets back to his apartment later that evening and begins to unpack his things from his backpack, a small piece of pink paper flutters down to the floor like a feather, landing by his foot. It’s a sticky note, reading:
Good sesh today •ᴗ• Don’t forget to review!
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“There’s no way I’m touching a brain.”
“Jun, you have to! You’ll be wearing gloves anyway𑁋”
“I cannot cut into a brain. That is gross,” Jun rebukes defensively, face scrunching up with stubborn refusal. 
“Jun, dissections are really important for anatomy,” You clarify calmly. “It’s part of the learning process.”
“Yeah, I… I know,” he mumbles defeatedly, almost shameful to admit. “I’m not that good with, uh… dead things. Like, couldn’t we look at diagrams or pictures instead? They’re less… squishy.” 
You smile amusedly at that, finding his squeamishness a bit endearing. But you straighten your posture and plaster on a reassuring look to your face. 
“I understand that it’s not for everyone,” You respond, a comforting tone to your voice. “But getting hands-on experience is really valuable. It’s one thing to see it in a book, but actually being able to identify the structures in real life makes a big difference in how you understand the material.”
Jun still looks apprehensive, but your words bring a sparkle of determination to his eyes. The idea of cutting into something that used to be alive still makes his stomach turn and the hairs on the back of his neck stick up, but he knows that you’re right. When are you not right?
“It just feels illegal,” Jun admits uneasily, a shudder running through him at the thought. “I don’t know if I can handle it.”
“That’s what I’m here for, remember?” You lightly nudge him in the arm with your elbow, attempting to lighten the mood. “We’re partners, after all.”
“Yeah, but…” There’s some hesitation, his gaze dropping down to his shoes. He lowers his voice as he speaks, “I want to show you that I’m capable of doing something…”
“Then we’ll start off slow, make you become familiar with everything,” You reason gently. “I know you’re not the only one who feels queasy by it, but you’ll have to face it. Facing your fears can help in conquering them, you know.” 
The corners of Jun’s lips tug up at that, mainly from the fact that you’re able to reassure him this effortlessly. He can’t tell if it’s exactly your words that eases up his nerves or if it’s simply your presence here with him right now thawing away the ice of his fears. Whatever it is, all he can really say is he likes knowing that you genuinely care.
And he likes knowing that you’re right next to him too.
“If I freak out,” he starts. “You’ll promise to help me out?”
Your lips draw into a thin line, a certain playfulness softening the features of your face. 
“No promises, but𑁋”
“Hey!”
“Study what we discussed today and then I’ll consider it.” There’s still a twinge of tease to your words, but the edges are roughened with a touch of sincerity. 
Jun just grins. How could anyone ever make up ridiculous rumours about you?
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“Good game, man. Same time again next Saturday?”
Jun huffs out a winded breath, dabbing at the sweat that clings to his forehead with the edge of his shirt before taking a long chug out of the water bottle that Wonwoo tosses over to him. 
“Yeah. I’ll see you then,” he replies exhaustedly, taking another tip of water, feeling his muscles aching from the game. 
As his friends leave the basketball court, he starts to retrieve his own belongings, slinging his backpack and hoodie over his shoulder and starting his walk towards the bus stop so he could go back home. The sun has completely set at this point, the night sky now blanketing the city in a cool, comfortable darkness. The breeze that floats through the air relieves some of the tension in his body, cooling his skin after the intense game. Jun walks slowly, taking his time on the way to the bus stop, simply savouring the peacefulness of the evening.
He considers getting food for himself𑁋there’s a small convenience store that he spots at the corner of his eye, and his stomach rumbles at the thought. 
He changes direction and heads toward the store, the faint jingling of the door chime greeting him as he steps inside. The store is a cozy, cluttered space with a mix of snacks, drinks, and other essentials. He decides on grabbing a cold drink and some instant ramen that he can heat up when he gets home. And after purchasing, he heads back outside and continues his way to the bus stop.
Tapping his bus card on the scanner, Jun makes his way toward the back of the bus and settles into a seat closest to the window, the seat right next to him vacant. The bus was mostly empty, but everyone else was spread out in their own seats either dozing off, listening to music, or staring out the window. It’s quite nice, he must say.
The sounds of him crumpling his bag fills the still air of the bus as he waits for the bus to move, but the hissing of the doors opening perks his attention up. 
Out of all things, he certainly never expected to see the sight of you breathlessly climbing onto the bus, muttering apologies towards the bus driver as you scramble for your bus card in your wallet. Your backpack is about to slip off your shoulder, cheeks flushed from assuming all the running you did to get here, and a mask of tiredness that you wear on your face that isn’t hard to notice. Were you at campus? It’s almost ten at night. 
And out of all things, he didn’t expect for you to come over to him among the many empty seats in the bus. 
“Hey,” You greet him breathlessly, glancing down at the empty seat next to him. “Are you fine with me sitting here?” 
Jun blinks, before speedily adjusting himself, forcing his body more into the seat so you would have all the room that you wanted. He gives you a nod. 
Smiling faintly, you sit down right next to him, shoulder brushing against his. You settle your backpack on your lap and lean back a bit, finally allowing yourself to relax. The bus lurches, beginning to move forward. Jun lets his eyes wash over you.
“Did… you just come from campus?” he asks. 
You laugh awkwardly at that. “Yeah, I… I was studying.”
“You study this late at night on campus?”
“I do.” It’s a bit funny admitting that, you don’t know why. “Sorta lost track of time, I guess.” 
Jun keeps a fixed look on you, as if there was some anomaly within your words, but he knows you’re telling the truth. He just can’t believe that anyone would stay on campus so late, plus you look way too tired, like you could pass out any second. Some worry flows down his body. 
“That sounds… exhausting,” he says, concern edging his voice. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 
You glance at him, eyes softening slightly. There’s something about him asking that tugs at your heart. “I’m fine. It’s not unusual for me to be up late studying. I’m used to it.”
Jun feels his fingers twitch around the bag in his grasp. “I see.”
You let your head fall slightly. “Thank you though.”
He faces you curiously. “For what?”
“Just…” For being here? For asking if I’m okay? “I don’t know. Thank you.”
He doesn’t know why you’re thanking him; if anything he should be the one thanking you.
“Oh.” A small smile appears on his lips. “You’re welcome.”
He feels weird. Not in a bad sense𑁋far from that, actually. It’s basically his first time ever interacting with you that isn’t on school grounds, and in a way right now, he isn’t the student and you’re not the TA. He’s simply Jun, and you are… well, you. You’re just two people sharing a late bus ride, and Jun is oddly grateful for the chance to see this side of you𑁋tired, a little vulnerable, but still yourself nonetheless.
The bus rumbles lightly. Silence swirling the air around the two of you. Jun glances at your profile, noticing how your eyes flutter shut for a brief second before snapping open again. His fingers twitch again, wanting to do something more𑁋maybe offer you his jacket, or ask if you need anything𑁋but he holds himself back.
The thought of pushing himself to exhaustion like that feels foreign. But he knows you well enough𑁋or at least, he’s seen you enough𑁋to know you’re driven, always working hard, sometimes too hard. He doesn’t know how to tell you that it’s okay to slow down.
“Y/N?” he calls out quietly.
You face him with a cute, sleepy look. “Hm?”
“You’re falling asleep.”
You giggle lazily at that, the sound unguarded and relaxed. “Sorry.” 
“It’s okay,” he says softly. “You can close your eyes. When’s your stop?”
Gazing at the window for a few moments, you take note of the familiar surroundings that the bus passes by. “It should be the next one.” 
Before you can settle back into the seat, Jun quickly adds, suddenly feeling brave, “You can… lean on my shoulder if you want.”
You hesitate for a moment, then give him a drowsy, grateful smile. “I think I’d like that.”
With a sigh, you allow your head to rest against his shoulder, and Jun could only imagine how uncomfortable his own shoulder might be compared to a pillow, but he doesn’t mind, and neither do you as well𑁋at least he thinks you don’t.
Your eyes are closed when Jun leans down to sneak a glance at your face, your features softened with exhaustion. There’s the faintest sight of a smile to your lips, and it makes his own curve up slightly too. His heart stirs in his chest, all while attempting to fully compose himself so you wouldn’t be disturbed. 
As his eyes drift back outside, he leans his own head on the window, watching the cityscape pass by. There’s fatigue crawling up his body too, but he forces himself to stay awake so that he knows when your stop is approaching. He casts glimpses down to you to make sure you’re still comfortable, but every time he looks at you, his heart seems to do a little jump, a little flutter in his chest. 
Jun knows he shouldn’t hope for anything more than this moment, knows he shouldn’t let himself fall into dreams of what-ifs, but he can’t help it. Admitting to himself that he likes you is bizarre, almost too bold for him to fully accept. Yet here you are, leaning against him, breathing softly in your dazed state as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. 
And maybe, just maybe, he thinks, it could be.
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You could tell there was something off about Jun today, and it seems to bother you a little more than you expect. 
He just didn’t seem to be… paying attention. You would explain something to him, and he’d reply with a small hum of acknowledgment before drifting off into a bit of a daydreaming state. Perhaps his mind was clouded and it wasn’t your place to ask, or maybe he was just tired. Regardless, you knew that it wouldn’t get either of you progress through this tutoring session, especially when you’re trying to instruct him about what to expect for the dissections.
“Jun?” You snap your finger in front of his face, and he immediately perks up. “You got all that down?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry, the probe…” He trails off, looking a bit lost. “Uh, can you repeat it?”
“The probe is used to explore and identify different anatomical structures,” You explain slowly. “But remember to be careful with it. Tissues are very delicate, so one wrong move could cause damage.” 
You watch quietly as he writes down the notes, his head resting on his as if he’s struggling to keep his eyes open.
“I saw you fall asleep today in class.”
Jun looks back up at you, eyes widening as if what he had done was some sort of crime. He suddenly appears more awake than ever.
“Crap, I… I’m sorry,” he mutters in apology, face flushing with embarrassment. “I knew you were lecturing since Professor Lee wasn’t here today, but I just… I don’t know. I couldn’t keep my eyes open that well. I’m really sorry.”
He could only assume the worst𑁋that you’re mad at him for falling asleep, when in reality he had stayed up late the night before to review over the material the two of you have covered so far during your sessions. But when your face softens into a look of understanding, he seems to relax. Just slightly. 
“Jun, it’s fine, really. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” You reassure him gently. “Trust me, you’re not in trouble and I’m not mad.”
He swallows down the lump in your throat. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“Like really sure?”
“One thousand percent.”
“I’m not convinced.” A sly grin spreads across Jun’s face. What a dork.
“Unfunny,” You huff, before taking a seat right next to him and flipping through the pages in your lesson plan. 
Once again, Jun props an elbow on the table and leans his head on his hand, a playful smirk lingering on his face as he watches you. You feel his eyes on you. 
“It sort of gave me a little glimpse into your life, you know.” 
You glance up, intrigued. “Yeah? And what did you take from that?”
“That… I really cannot and will never be on your level of studying,” Jun admits sheepishly. He seems to crawl into himself a bit more as he continues hesitantly, “and, uh, made me admire you a little bit more too.”
You freeze at that, pausing mid-flipping through a page in your planner as his words float through the air. Admire… you? It wasn’t something you ever anticipated hearing from him𑁋ever anticipated to see him this forward𑁋especially not today when he seemed so out of it.
You clear your throat softly, trying to act nonchalant. “You admire me?”
Jun chuckles softly, the sound a little awkward as he tries to ease the tension. “Well, who wouldn’t?”
He’s probably digging himself into a bit of a hole right now, perhaps overstepping a small boundary of what was supposed to be just a casual tutoring session. But really, despite these sessions honestly really helping with understanding the material, he’s mainly here because… well… he gets to spend time with you. 
“Sorry, I-I mean… I made this weird, didn’t I?” Jun swiftly corrects himself, face flushing deeper with each word that leaves him. “I guess I just want to thank you for pushing me to do better. I’ve always… kind of admired that about you for a while now.”
Even you momentarily forget what you wanted to discuss with him for the session, a surge of warmth shooting through your body. The only sounds you could hear right now are the branches outside hitting the window from the wind and the ticking of the clock on the wall. The room was quiet, filled with an awkward, yet comfortable tension that neither of you seemed to know how to break.
“I’m glad to hear that,” You tell him. “It means a lot that you feel that way.” 
Relief and apprehension hugs around Jun, as if unsure whether he should say anything more or go back to tutoring. But he thinks he’s already said enough𑁋at this point his tired brain nearly made him confess his feelings, and that would be utterly stupid of him. 
“But you should really learn how to rest,” he suddenly says firmly.
You laugh that off way too easily. “You know that I can’t𑁋”
“I know, but… come on, just rest for a little bit,” Jun insists. “At least for a few minutes.”
“You’re seriously telling me to rest while I’m here to tutor you?” You lift a brow, almost teasingly.
The way he only nods and gazes at you with pleading eyes almost resembling a cat stretching out for attention makes it almost impossible to resist. And you would hate to admit that yeah, maybe you do push yourself way too much, that all the strenuous effort you put into studying is now starting to take a noticeable toll on you. At the moment, rest does sound really nice.
“My friends and I are planning a hangout this weekend at my place, if you’d like to join us. You… You don’t have to if you don’t want to, or if you’re not into that kind of stuff,” Jun informs you sheepishly. “It’s not a lot of us too, but if you ever want to just… unwind, you know, you could stop by. We aren’t doing anything too wild, just a chill get-together. They’re all cool, I swear.”
You consider his offer. Again, you were never much of a party person nor ever gave a crap about that sort of stuff, but the thought of taking a break from your routine is a bit... enticing, to say the least.
“I’ll think about it. Thank you,” You say with a grateful smile, finally giving in. “Give me a few minutes to tidy up?”
Jun watches for a few moments as you quickly organise through your notes and gather up the loose papers that have accumulated on the table, standing up and heading to the front of the lecture hall to put away the rest of the materials that you won’t need for the session. 
As he waits for you to finish, Jun sets aside his own stuff, folds his arms and places them on the table, slowly guiding his head to rest on top. He closes his eyes, taking advantage of the opportunity to rest as much as his body craves.
By the time you get back, you catch a glimpse of Jun’s relaxed form in his seat, and your heart does a little flip in your chest. The corners of your lips tug up unknowingly into a soft smile as you settle into the seat cautiously next to him, feeling a wave of exhaustion hitting you all at once.
It’s rare that you let yourself go these days, but with Jun here, it seems easier to let your guard down, even for just a few minutes. 
Without much thought you let your head rest gently on your own arms, finding yourself staring at the front lecture hall, before ultimately, moving your head so that you were facing Jun. You’ve never seen him this close before, drawn into his features for a moment or two𑁋over his closed eyes and the small moles that pepper his cheek and one particular spot above his lips, which were curled up slightly. Contentment warms you like a blanket as you let your eyes drift to a close.
Unbeknownst to you, Jun slowly peeks his eyes open, being met with the sight of you resting so peacefully and comfortably beside him. A sense of calm takes over the vast lecture hall as he simply watches you, even feeling brave enough to lightly brush a strand of hair away from your face with his finger, before quickly pulling back when he catches your nose scrunching a little in your sleep. His heart swells even more.
He decides on settling back into his own arms, taking one last glance at you before drifting back into light sleep. 
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“You’re way too smiley to be going to a tutoring session,” Chan points out as he catches Jun about to leave. “Isn’t it like your third time alone this week? Last week you went twice…”
Jun snorts annoyedly at that. “Yeah, and?”
“We’re just saying you’re way too happy to be going to tutoring, man,” Soonyoung continues on, an edge of suspicion to his words. “Did you find out the meaning of life? Figure out why our bodies cause us to shit and piss or why the earth goes around the sun?”
“I’d be happy to answer that question if you’re curious,” Jun states wryly. 
Soonyoung scrunches his face and shakes his head. “Please don’t.” 
His roommate only observes as Jun stuffs his feet into his Converse, which looked to be at the end of its life. Minghao comes out moments later, toothbrush in his mouth with bits of foam to the corners of his lips. Along with Soonyoung and Chan, the three of them watch as Jun finishes lacing up his shoes, his good mood unwavering.
“I think I have an answer to that question,” Minghao says, voice somewhat muffled.
Soonyoung faces the younger boy. “The piss or the earth one?”
“He has a crush,” Minghao states flatly, a subtle smirk creeping onto his face despite the toothbrush still dangling from his lips.
“A crush?” Soonyoung’s eyes widen as he exchanges a glance with Chan, the two of them looking like they were about to combust any second. “A crush on that scary TA?”
“They’re not scary!” Jun protests, face reddening hearing his own loud voice, secretly hoping to make some sort of quick escape before his friends could pry any further into his dry love life, but he knows he won’t be able to get them off his ass. “So what if I have a crush on them?”
Soonyoung’s jaw drops to the floor at that, before bursting into laughter. “‘So what’? You’re totally into them!” He starts bouncing on his toes, a grin stretching across his face. “You’re in loooove with the scary TA! This is gold.”
Jun could seriously strangle all of his roommates right now. He runs a hand through his hair and glances at the door, regretting opening his mouth. Was he seriously that obvious? “You guys are blowing this way out of proportion.” 
“Bro, you’re blushing so hard right now,” Chan chimes in with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Don’t even try to deny it.”
Minghao chuckles, finally pulling the toothbrush out of his mouth. “It’s obvious. You don’t study like that for just anyone.”
Jun’s face turns an even deeper shade of red. “I𑁋okay, fine! Maybe I like them a little bit, but it’s not a big deal! I’m just trying to do well in class. Now, can I leave?” 
It takes one last torturous minute of teasing before Jun shoots his roommates with annoyed looks and heads out of the apartment.
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Normally at nine o’clock, you would most likely be in the campus library studying until your eyes go dry, or in your own place with textbooks sprawled over your bed. But this time, you find yourself right in front of the address Jun sent you𑁋his address, specifically.
You’d spent the past few days thinking about his invitation, and despite some initial hesitation, you may be looking forward to this little break from your routine. Because according to Jun from a text he sent you the night before along with the address: it’s what you deserve.
Your heart still does a little jump when you think about it still.
[09:08 | y/n] Hey Jun! I’m here by the way
Your phone vibrates right away.
[09:09 | just jun] WHAT omg
[09:09 | just jun] sorry i’m coming out right now!!!
There’s a figure that emerges from a door, waving to you from above. You give out a small wave as you start to make yourself comfortable on the front steps of the building. Jun hurries down the stairs, looking both relieved and a bit flustered as he reaches you.
“Hey, I…” His eyes roam over you from head-to-toe. “I didn’t think you’d actually show up.” 
You offer a tentative smile. “Well, I figured, you know? Thought it would be nice to stop by for a little bit. Plus you live closer than I thought.”
Jun’s face brightens, the relief in his own grin oozing its way into your heart, and he gestures for you to follow him back to his place.
Just as he promised, the gathering was quite small. Jun introduces you to his roommates𑁋Minghao, Soonyoung, and Chan are their names (Soonyoung and Chan look oddly more excited to see you, for some reason)𑁋and two others in his year. You recognise Wonwoo, who is a TA from the English department, and the other is Jihoon, whose name had been tossed around quite frequently during your time in university.
Overall, the vibes have been quite laid-back, and the apartment has been warm and inviting so far.
“Do you want something to drink?” Jun asks as he leads you towards the kitchen, where some food and snacks were sprawled across the counter. “There’s water, soda, and um… some alcohol too.”
Your eyes roam over the assortment on the counter, gaze lingering on the bottles of alcohol. For some reason the idea of relaxing and letting loose feels particularly appealing tonight, and you can hardly remember the last time you had a proper drink of… anything. 
“I’ll take some alcohol,” You answer, suddenly feeling a bit adventurous; it even surprises Jun. 
Jun pulls one of the bottles and pours you a generous amount before handing it to you, the tips of his fingers brushing against yours as you find yourself settling down in a seat near Wonwoo and Jihoon. 
Soonyoung and Chan come into view a few minutes later, and they’re still looking at you as if you’ve come in with a second head.
“You’re not scary,” Chan claims randomly, scanning you up and down with his eyes closely.
You lift a brow and look behind you, thinking he was talking to someone, before turning back to him. 
“Me?” You point to yourself. “Scary?” 
Soonyoung takes a sip of his own drink before saying, “Yeah, dude, I mean… There used to be a lot of rumours spread about you being like, mean and stuff, you know? I’m talking about people saying you were super strict, always serious, and that if anyone messed up in class, you’d roast them alive.”
You almost want to laugh at that. Sure, you’ve heard plenty of those rumours before and never really let it get to you, or had the time to straight up dismiss them, but you didn’t think people were still clinging onto those thoughts nowadays. 
“Did you expect me to show up with devil horns and a pitchfork?" You joke, finally allowing yourself to laugh, shaking your cup in amusement. “Wow, I didn’t realise I was so terrifying. Maybe I should start living up to it now.”
Soonyoung lets out a hearty laugh, almost choking on his drink. “Please, no! We’re all just barely surviving as it is.”
“Nah, you’re good as you are. If anything I’m glad to see that the stuff people have said aren’t true,” Chan adds in.
An exaggerated gasp leaves Soonyoung. “Oh my, God, wait! Does this mean we’re friends now?” His excitement is so over-the-top that you can’t help but laugh too. 
“I don’t know. Maybe,” You tease with a faint smirk, shrugging. “If you behave.”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Soonyoung declares, grinning ear to ear as Chan gives him an enthusiastic high five. His face is already turning the slightest bit of red from the alcohol. “Jun, you’re in good hands!”
In the kitchen, you catch Jun gazing over his shoulder and towards his friends. And when his eyes land on you, he shoots you a brief smile before quickly taking his eyes away, but the tips of his ears being red doesn’t go unnoticed when he turns away.
As the night continues, you find yourself letting loose, more than you’ve ever done recently. You find yourself easily getting along with the lively atmosphere of Jun and all of his friends. You don’t really know how many drinks you’ve taken at this point in time, how many refills you’ve been offered, but the buzz you feel is pleasant and warm, your inhibitions slowly but surely melting away. Laughter tumbles out of you as if it was the most natural thing in the world, almost to the point you feel your chest physically ache.
Occasionally, from the side, Jun quietly watches you. He can feel his own mood lifting with every smile that finds its way on your face. It’s almost as if he’s looking at a completely different person𑁋someone entirely the opposite from the studious TA he’s been used to this entire time.
But the second he sees you stumble slightly when you come out from a bathroom break, a pang of worry hits him.
“You okay?” he asks you when you nearly run into him, making him circle his arms around you out of habit in case you might fall. However, you’re somehow so close to him that he can feel the warmth of you through his clothes. Your cheeks are flushed, and you’re grinning lazily up at him, the effects of the alcohol clearly taking their toll.
“Oh, doing lovely, um…” You assure him, voice wobbly as you clear your throat. “The alcohol was awesome. I haven’t… I haven’t drank like this in such a long time. It feels sooooo nice.” 
You nearly stumble into him again as you attempt to move past him, and he’s quick as the Flash to grab you by the shoulders, his hands squeezing tightly around your forearm. 
“I think you should sit down, Y/N.” 
“Bu-But I don’t want to!” 
A playful pout spreads across your face as he carefully leads you back to the quiet kitchen, away from whatever version of charades the others have put on in the middle of the living room.
“You’ve drank too much,” Jun points out worriedly. “Do you want me to take you home? I can walk𑁋”
“What are you? My… my boss or something? I’m supposed to be the one in control here! I’m… I’m the one making the decisions, not you!” You protest, a weak, half-hearted attempt at establishing your authority as you knead the fabric of his shirt into your fists. 
Did you have to be so cute when you’re drunk? Though Jun is fast to shake those thoughts away and focus more on making sure you’re okay, having to bite the bottom of his lip to conceal an incoming, endearing grin at your silly antics. 
“Come on, let me get you some water and then I’ll take you home, okay?” Jun offers, and you give him a tight-lipped smile. 
“But I am home,” You slur lowly, circling a finger in front of his face, close enough you may jab him in the eye. “I’m home here… with you…”
Jun seriously doesn’t know how he would be able to dismiss those words that left your mouth, even in your inebriated state. It doesn’t help that you’re also looking up at him with half-lidded eyes and a dreamy smile, like the world is spinning and yet he’s the only one keeping you steady. 
“Let’s go. I’m taking you home,” Jun says as he snatches up a bottle of water and slowly coaxes you towards the door, not before announcing to his friends as well, who all seem too drunk to even care anyway.
The second the cool air meets your skin and the cold water flows down your throat, you seem a little more lucid, but not entirely. You still clung an arm around Jun’s own arm, which was hanging loosely and awkwardly to the side, your steps a bit uneven as you walk down the street together.
Jun holds his breath every time your body knocks into his side, afraid you might lose balance, but you somehow manage to stay upright𑁋barely. The warmth of your arm wrapped around his doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Hey, Y/N𑁋”
“Shhhhh,” You suddenly hiss, making Jun shut his mouth. “You’re too loud.”
Jun hangs his head down in slight guilt. “Sorry.”
“Hmm, isokay,” You mutter, tightening a grip on his and nearly causing Jun himself to stumble. “You know, you’re always so… nice. It’s kinda weird.” 
Jun tilts his head, somewhat confused by your drunken logic. He glances at you, catching the way your cheeks are shaded with a rosy hue and the warmness to your hazy eyes. 
“Weird?” he repeats curiously.
“Yeah…” You draw out the word clumsily, shifting your eyes towards him, gaze lingering on him a little longer than usual. “It’s like you’re not real sometimes.”
“You’re holding onto me.” Jun shakes his arm, and you still carry a tight grip on his arm, fingers digging lightly into the material of his sleeve. “I think I’m very real.”
“I know,” You mumble, scrunching your nose endearingly, as if you still don't believe him. “But you barely know me.” 
There’s a few moments of contemplation that passes by between the two of you. Your steps have somehow managed to sync with each other, the streetlights above casting down a soft glow on the pavement below, and the quiet night feels oddly… intimate. 
“Maybe.” Jun shrugs, voice low and soft. “But I like what I know so far.” 
Now it’s your turn to grow silent, a wave of realisation cutting through your inebriated thoughts. Your grip goes from loose to tight on Jun’s arm, your chest and heart feeling heavier than it did moments ago, and it certainly was not because of the alcohol.
Your mind is practically aching with all these thoughts, aching with the urge to do something about it, and the way Jun’s side profile is illuminated under the streetlight doesn’t help the situation at all.
“It’s funny, because I… I would see you come into class. And…” You let out a giggle. “I don’t know. My first thought was always that you were cute. Hmm, maybe dreamy too? Yeah, dreamy… That’s a silly word.” 
Before Jun can say anything to that, the words seem to tumble out of you. 
“...I’d see you fall asleep in the back of the class, or come late to lecture, and I’d think you were cute seeing you so panicked… And when you asked me to tutor you, I was so happy. It’s just𑁋I-I don’t know.” A brief pause, before you continue, “Is this what liking someone is?” 
Jun doesn’t notice how much his steps have faltered, his voice and own words getting caught somewhere between his throat and his heart. There’s a mix of panic, disbelief, and excitement flowing through him, almost too much he can’t quite process going from emotion to the other. However, how the hell does he respond when the person he’s been developing feelings for says something like that so openly?
“Shit, I’ve… I’ve made this weird, haven’t I?” You give yourself a light facepalm, before carding a hand through your hair. A yawn starts to leave you. “I’m just all over the place right now, I’m sorry…”
Jun wants to say something, needs to say something, but he stumbles over his words. “I… Y/N, I𑁋”
Before he can finish his sentence, you trip slightly, and he instinctively pulls you closer, catching you with both hands. A wholehearted round of laughter tumbles out of you, resting your head on his shoulder for a brief moment, and for a split second, everything feels still. His heart races faster than ever.
He lets you take the lead on the way back to your apartment complex, feeling as if he had been walking on eggshells the entire time. The buzz of the alcohol running its laps through you has seemed to soften, and if anything, you’re more than ready to sink into your bed for the night. Although there’s comfortable quietness in the air now, Jun can’t stop replaying all the words you’ve said to him tonight alone.
Before he can fully process everything, you come to an abrupt stop just outside your building, turning to look at him.
You stare at him for a moment, eyes roaming over his face as if you’re trying to commit everything to memory. Then, without thinking, you step up to him and press a kiss to his cheek. It’s quick, fleeting, the gesture so unexpected it sends a rush of heat flooding up his neck and straight to the tips of his ears. He’s practically on fire, at this point. 
When you pull back, there’s a bashful smile playing at your lips. “Goodnight, Jun.”
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You don’t think you can ever look at Jun in the eyes without wanting to sink into the ground, because each time he comes into view, it reminds you of the absolute idiot you put on show for him last weekend. It’s harder to pay attention when your hands seem to touch every given opportunity. You just have to make it through one last tutoring session before the big dissections later that week.
“So, um, we’ll use the forceps to clamp and separate through the tissues,” Jun explains, pointing towards the dissection guide displayed on the table, still feeling a tad bit queasy at the thought of it, even if the dissection pan was empty. “Then the scalpel will be used to cut on the incision lines we marked.”
“That’s right. You got it,” You say with a small smile, briefly casting a glance towards him, watching the way he adjusts the goggles on his face. 
The two of you decided on running through the dissection for practice, focusing instead on the procedural steps and techniques. It’s been smooth-sailing so far𑁋Jun looks more confident and comfortable as he walks through each step𑁋and you’re positive that the actual lab will go well.
On the other hand, you both can’t deny the awkwardness thickening through the room, drifting within the crevices of even the most subtle interactions. 
“Alright, so once we’ve done that, we’ll… uh, we’ll…” Jun’s voice trails off as he fumbles slightly with the scalpel, trying to decide between placing it on the tray or handing it to you, his gloved fingers brushing against yours again as you grab it from him.
“Sorry,” You both blurt out at the same time, voices mixing into one.
As you both share an embarrassed laugh, a few moments of silence follows. It seems to dissipate the tension in the air. Some of it, at least.
Jun clears his throat. “Y/N, I𑁋”
“It’s fine,” You assure calmly. “Let’s just keep going.” 
“I… Okay.” His shoulders slump in a pit of defeat as he fixes his attention back down towards the task at hand. “Can you, uh… pass me the probe?”
You nod and hand it over to him, trying to attentively listen as he explains the function of the tool and how it would be used for the lab, adding any feedback along the way. You’re surprised at how easily you fall back into a comfortable rhythm, as if the moments from earlier had ceased to exist, as if that night and your stupidity didn’t happen, but only you both know about the unacknowledged elephant in the room.
The rest of the practice goes by without any more mishaps. The next thing you know, you’re pulling off your gloves and taking off your safety goggles as Jun sets the dissection tray away. By the time he returns, he’s surprised to see you already grabbing your belongings like you’re ready to leave.
Jun swallows down the nervous lump lodged in his throat. “Y/N, wait.”
You pause in the middle of stuffing some notebooks inside your backpack, already feeling the apprehension snaking up your spine as you face him.
“Can… Can we talk?” Jun asks hesitantly.
A sigh leaves you. “Look, that was really dumb of me, I get it. I shouldn’t have… kissed you on the cheek like that and said all those weird things. It was impulsive and I was drunk. I’m sorry, I should’ve known my limits, or maybe just have not come at all𑁋”
“I was really happy that you came,” Jun interrupts, a voice almost too loud in the quiet, empty lab room. He rubs his gloved hands together nervously. “And, um, the kiss... I liked it. It was, well… kind of nice.”
You really can’t tell if his words are making you feel any better or worse, if the hesitation on his side makes you want to sink more into the ground or feel a bit of hope. Regardless, it’s hard to ignore the warmth growing in your face as your fingers tighten around the strap of your backpack. 
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like you too, and I wanted to finally tell you that before you left my place. But then things got a little messy and it was a bit overwhelming, so I wanted to take you home because you looked like you were about to𑁋”
“Jun, just…” You chime in ruefully, clearly not wanting to relive your stupidity. “Go back a little. You like me too?”
Jun takes in a deep, slow breath.
“Yes,” he says firmly. “Holy shit. I can’t believe I said that.” 
The laughs that leave you two sound more freeing in a way, more effortless, like the thick, heavy fog that settled around the room has been lifted, and for the first time in days, everything is more clearer. 
The carefree grin that Jun catches to your features nearly forces him to step up towards you, but he holds back. Instead, he thinks the sight of you looking so naturally happy is something he could cherish for a very, very long time.
“So, uh…” he starts, shooting a sheepish glance down at his shoes before meeting your gaze once more. “We’re okay?”
You only nod.
“We’re okay,” You confirm softly. “Maybe more than that.” 
As you finish getting ready to leave, you turn back to Jun, who nearly drops the dissection pan in his hands. 
“I have a meeting to go to right now,” You tell him. “But afterwards, I could… text you?” 
His face brightens expectantly, attempting to keep the excitement coursing through him at bay.  “Yeah, yeah, of course. Um… have a good meeting.” 
He’s cute. And silly. And weird. But you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
Before you finally leave the lab room, you take a leap of faith and turn back around, heading straight towards Jun. He’s in the middle of taking off his goggles when you find yourself standing back in front of him, and a mischievous grin etches across your face. Jun takes a few steps back, his ass nearly stumbling into the table behind him.
“One more thing.” You reach up and to gently tug the goggles off his face, and the contact of your fingers to his hair has Jun bracing himself for doomsday. Your breath fans against his skin for a moment, and when you pull away, you’re holding up the goggles towards him. “You were wearing these upside down the entire time.”
Jun chokes on air, and you let out a giggle.
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Shit.
Jun cannot focus right now.
The goggles feel uncomfortable on his face, the gloves make his skin feel clammy, the uncomfortable, pungent smell of formaldehyde fills the lab room and his nostrils. Not to mention that there’s a goddamn sheep brain sitting on the metal pan in front of him. 
Perhaps he can call it quits now𑁋take the zero for the lab and run for the hills, drop out of university, become a nomad in the countryside and never have to touch any sort of assignment again. In his mind right before the dissection starts, it really doesn’t seem like a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all…
“Jun?”
He snaps his eyes back at you. You’re wearing your own pair of gloves and goggles, positioning the dissection tools on the table, eyebrows raised in worry. 
“Are you good? We’re about to start,” You tell him. “You look a little pale.”
He blinks a few times, trying to compose and mentally ready himself, acting like he hasn’t just spent the last few minutes imagining an escape plan abandoning all forms of education. “Yeah, I… I’m good.”
“You good to start?” You ask, and the concern he senses in your voice makes his heart soften. “Or do you want me to take over first?’ 
There’s that offer again, the one he knows he should probably accept for the sake of his sanity, but there’s also a part of him that doesn’t want to back out now. Not when he’s finally managed to clear the air between the two of you, when things are more comfortable than they’ve been in weeks. 
Jun exhales, shaking the tenseness out of his body. This is it. Glancing around the room, he notices that other students have already started their dissections with ease. He looks down at the sheep brain again, feeling that queasiness rising, but just your presence right next to him seems to settle down his nerves way more than it should.
He steels himself, trying to cling to that feeling instead of the growing discomfort in his stomach. He can do this. It’s just a brain. A sheep brain, he reminds himself, as if that makes it any better.
Letting out one last breath for good measure, he reaches for the scalpel. 
“I’m good,” he says, more to himself than to you. “Let’s do this.” 
His hand quivers as he leans in towards the sheep brain, its colour slightly pinkish and grey. His nose crinkles the closer he gets to it, and the second he lightly grazes the scalpel along the surface of the brain, he can’t help but wince. At his side, he feels your shoulder make contact with his, and helps ground him a little more. 
Narrowing his eyes, he focuses on making a precise incision straight down the middle of the brain𑁋the medial longitudinal fissure, he recalls𑁋his hand trembling slightly as he draws the scalpel down. The smell of formaldehyde grows stronger as he slices through the tissue, and the somewhat gelatinous texture that the brain has is incredibly off-putting. 
When he finally finishes, you help part the brain in half, and Jun’s eyes widen in awe at how visible the structures are. 
“You did pretty well.” You send an encouraging smile Jun’s way, taking the probe in your hand and motioning towards the exposed structures. “See? Look at that. You can see all the parts clearly.”
Jun takes a leap of faith and points to a particular part. “That’s… the thalamus there, right? And the hypothalamus is right below it.” 
You nod proudly. “You got it. And this section right here?”
“The… pons? And then, uh… Oh! The medulla oblongata. Then the spinal cord starts beneath it.”
“Yep. Here?”
“The cerebellum!” 
Your own heart seems to swell with every step up his confidence goes, whatever discomfort he was initially feeling begins to be melted away under the warmth of your praise. You bring your eyes up from the brain, letting it roam over his side profile, taking in the way the goggles make his hair stick out in odd angles, the curve of his jaw as he tilts his head slightly, brows furrowed in concentration.
As Jun pinpoints another structure on the brain, he faces toward you for confirmation, only to be met with your eyes already on him. He opens his mouth to say something, before slowly shutting it, and for a split second, he forgets about the question he was about to ask, the lab, everything else.
“Did I get it right?” Jun questions, feeling the confidence flowing through him falter under your thoughtful expression. “This is the sulcus? And the gyrus…”
You lower your attention back down to the sheep brain, realising he was pointing to a spot with the probe. 
“Hm, just…” You start, leaning in a bit closer to examine where he’s pointing to. With a sly smirk, you reach over to grasp his wrist lightly, slowly guiding his hand more accurately with the probe. Your warmth slips teasingly under his skin. “The sulcus is the little groove right here, and the gyrus is the ridge surrounding it. See it?”
Jun swears you’re doing this on purpose, and whatever it is, it’s working.
“Got it,” he mumbles, hoping you won’t be able to see the flush to his cheeks under the goggles. His eyes flicker between the brain and your face, noting the playful glint in your pupils that certainly isn’t from the fluorescent lighting of the lab room. “I see it now. Thanks.”
You let go of his wrist, still wearing that mischievous look at your lips, though it fades into something more genuine now. “You’re doing good, you know.”
Relief hits him from your words. He does feel way more comfortable, the entire lab becoming less daunting all because you were simply right here next to him. His mind momentarily flashes back to all what you’ve done for him𑁋from the tutoring, to the way you’ve been nothing but supportive and patient with him, before it all circles back to the mutual fondness blooming its way within the crevices of your hearts together.
He likes you, and you like him back. Jun still has no idea how this came to be, because he used to think he had no such chance with you. Yet now, he has the freedom to think about where he wants to take you on your first date.
The rest of the dissection goes by with ease. Slowly but surely, other students begin to clean up their workspace and submit their lab reports to Professor Lee, their tasks winding down as the lab session comes to a close. The lab starts to empty out as the minutes tick by, and it isn’t long until there’s just a few more students left𑁋you and Jun included.
“Here, I’ll finish up here,” You tell him, taking the brain into your hands without hesitation and placing it into a sealed bag for disposal later on. Then you take the dissection tools into your hands and walk off towards the sink to wash them, leaving Jun hanging in a bit of a daze. 
“I… What can I do then?” he asks, wanting to contribute still.
You turn back to him, humming in contemplation. 
“Let’s see… Disinfect the table, take off your gloves and goggles, and then…” Your lips quirk up again. “Just stand there and look cute. I’ll handle the rest.” 
The tips of his ears flush with heat as you casually sidle away from him and towards the sink. Jun shakes away the flutters in his stomach, though the corners of his lips tugs upwards as he works on cleaning up the table. 
Jun is already waiting by the door with his backpack on his shoulders as you finish up some tasks with Professor Lee. Once you get the signal that you’re free to leave, Jun feels the excitement pool down to his feet, a sense of accomplishment knowing that he was able to get through the one lab he dreaded most, and finished the class with a passing grade.
As you both exit the building, Jun pauses in his place, watching you continue to walk a bit without him.
“I owe you a date, you know,” he calls out to you with determination, though a pinch of nervousness still lingers.
You turn back to him curiously, and the way the sun catches on your face makes you appear more radiant above anything else. “A date, you say?” 
“Yeah, I…” He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. “Before all of this, I told you I would owe you something for helping me, and well…” He lets his shoulder relax. “I want to take you on a date.” 
Jun watches the way a bunch of emotions seem to morph among your face. Even with knowing how you feel for him, he still braces himself for a different kind of response. 
Biting at the bottom of your lip, you step back up to him, and before he could fully process what’s happening, you answer him with a quick, affectionate kiss to his cheek. Right at the corner of his lips, to be specific. Then you reach down and grip his wrist, tugging him gently towards you.
“You’re on,” You challenge, a playful sparkle to your eyes. “Let’s get going.”
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