#i as someone who isnt a sadist but has a totally not vampiric bloodlust and likes hurting people who like being hurt like.... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

solivagantsalix · 3 years ago

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i miss when i was ignoring i was ace and was fucking severely to compensate for it bc i thought if i did it enough i would stop hating it and many a goth bitch had me choke them

and i am being reminded of this because of the ridiculous urge to choke corpse husband

#he just..... i just..... listen #his voice is so nice and voices are so important to me for some reason #ive been trying to pull myself out of a depressive episode for 2 weeks and ive gotta slightly better simply thirsting for corpse #ive been bingeing his videos and other peoples videos w him in it its wild #i think its bc zero is so close but so very obviously far and im trying very hard to lose feelings #but bc it feels like they hate me and theyre my favorite person (tm) it hurts a lot and is pushing me farther into an episode and it sucks #like its not their fault at all its just difficult to deal with #yearning #i feel like hed have the best sounds which i know is awful but like listen he would he would #im just thinking about the goth mens(and ladies) back in my day whom had me choke them like...#im having an interesting time #i want to choke him #also just the fact that like i am very physically and mentally ill and so is he i feel like a weird liking towards him #i saw the story about him crawling on the ground to get groceries and i have many stories similar and its just #the inherent homoeroticism of having the same or similar physical and mental ailments you know?#i as someone who isnt a sadist but has a totally not vampiric bloodlust and likes hurting people who like being hurt like....#please corpse lemme cut you up #but in a sexy way for you and in a not at all vampiric way for me #corpse stans ignore this post plz #he just gives me something to focus on thats enough degrees away to never happen #but few enough degrees that i can have my wild daydreams have a crumb of reality to help me focus on them #its perfect #sallow speaks #also i am finding a tumblr theme that i can use for this blog so i can edit it and have no one look at it like my main #cadaver

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