#i appreciate it!!!! (also share your ramblings w me too not shutting the fuck up should always go both ways)

[popppyfur]

Yes, its me, i sent the last two i just reaaallly wanna see other people HCs and i understand the desire to ramble at people.

Share your yappings with me

HAHAHHA well thank you for being my enabler and a wonderful source of validation ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[gojoho]

SEND IT

✑ ciq. gojo satoru

✑ w. contextual voyeurism+ exhibitionism, implied oral, no reader orgasm, established relationship

✑ n. the strongest man in the world also tends to be a natural born whore on camera. its the highlight of his away missions. anyways let’s normalize sending videos with the sound on. not proofread, like at all, my apologies in advance. hopefully you all still enjoy!

gojo sataoru

💌 you have ( 1 ) new message!

it’s unsolicited; an impromptu message late into the night that you don’t expect much from at first, but the blacked out bubble and it’s play button baits you in. there’s nothing to grasp in the first seconds, no warning of the big idea and just painful sounds of friction while the camera is repositioned. there’d been too many possibilities behind what you were waiting for, and that mystery finds your curiosity despite your exhaustion. so when light strikes a comprehensive surface and reflects back to the camera your patience is generously rewarded

it’s a sobering realization when the lewd shape comes into focus and the deep grunt behind the camera only confirms that it’s a shared moment of clarity when his cock comes into view, dead center of the camera.

oh. oh…

his large hand encases his girth with much more ease than both of yours combined ever could, caressing it’s length in gentle rhythmic pumps. each delicate thick vein throbbing to the flushed glistening tip of his cock, a familiar sight that has your mouth salivating. is it sad to admit you’re kind of jealous?

credit where it’s due—satoru’s big. a simple fact your legs so desperately clench at and had you never felt every last inch buried deep beneath them, you’d been squeezing them shut for much different reasons.

“you’re making me drip baby,” he whispered out, whatever fantasy in his head making his quick strokes slow just a bit. “you want to see that cock drip?”

immersed and fully invested, you nod as if he’s right there in front of you, watching as he slowly tugged down to the hilt and back to the tip. a single perfect pearly bead dribbling from his slit.

“bet you wish i was there, huh?” you can hear the smirk in his tease, but when his strokes hasten again he grunts. “don’t worry baby, i miss you too. i miss you a lot.”

the camera wobbles with his heavy breaths while he abuses his tip. up and down. up and down. you watch attentively as his hands swivels in the motion, stopping every so often to wag the harden limb. “i miss that pretty little mouth milking me dry…you miss my cock on your tongue baby? mhm, yeah you do.”

his rambling rattles your throat, hollows your chest, and warms your core. the tendon in his hands become more rigid as he stiffens his grip, thrusting his hips up into his fist. “you’re gonna make me cum, oh fuck—”

satoru can hardly get the words out before his legs straighten, and his cock jerks in his tight grip pumping thick white ropes of cum down his hand and all around his length till it’s pooling against his hilt. allowing for the camera to capture a few last strokes before leaving you in a thick simmering layer of sweat and a waking frustration that would take all night to calm.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎! reblogs & interactions are appreciated !

[ptergwen]

If you do smut can you do like stark!reader x peter parker (spiderman) are dating 3-4 month and y/n and peter had their very fluff first time then next morning y/n has hickies all over her neck and her thights stomach... and tony/ her dad sees it and is confronting them with it😂 i love your stories 🤤

just saying hi

w/c: 2.5k

warnings: veryyyy suggestive, swearing, some pretty embarrassing moments

a/n: thank you babe! i didn’t write the actual smut but y’all can guess what happened 😭 also this is super long i couldn’t help myself

-

it was everything. it was everything you ever wanted your first time to be and more.

you’d brought up to peter during a make out session one night that you were ready to go farther than you two already have. there was one base you didn’t hit yet. the fourth, the final. you were thinking about it for a while before that, and peter would be lying if he said he didn’t.

your love has always been physical, whether it’s you kissing peter’s cuts after a mission or him tracing hearts on you with his fingers. there’s also the more sexual side of things. that part, you both enjoy just as much, maybe even a little more because you know exactly how to make each other feel good after all the trial and error.

what better way to combine the two than, well, making love?

last night was your sign from the universe, your go ahead to do it. you had the compound to yourselves because your dad had taken all the “big kids” out for the night. you’re both well into college, but he refuses to see you as adults. that meant no peter and no you. you two were a little offended until you realized you could make use of your alone time.

you started off searching for a movie. that turned into you wrestling peter for the remote because you didn’t feel like watching back to the furure yet again. wrestling turned into you on top of him, which turned into you kissing him, which turned into peter throwing the remote somewhere and carrying you up to your room with his lips still on yours.

neither of you had to say it. you were on the same page, same wavelength, two brains in one as peter layed you down and trailed his kisses lower and lower.

peter was so gentle with you, except for when you told him not to be. those were the times he didn’t hold back. he was attentive and sweet and showed you quite a few times how much he loves you. you showed him just the same. yeah, it was really everything.

“morning, baby. you awake yet?” peter hums against the shell of your ear, arms wound comfortably around you. “kinda,” you mumble back with a goofy smile. he presses his lips to your ear and nuzzles his face in the side of your neck. “kinda... how’d you sleep?” you can hear the grin in his voice. his nose nudges your bare skin where a fresh hickey lies and makes you scrunch your own up.

“good, really good. always love sleeping with you.” you’re both aware of the alternate meaning that has now. “funny,” peter lets out a breathy laugh against you and brushes his thumb over your stomach where your shirt got ridden up. you sigh, enjoying his soft touch and reaching behind you to play with his curls. they’re a lot messier than usual from you tugging on them all last night.

peter removes his face from your neck and carefully turns you onto your other side. you’re facing him now, eyes trained on his concerned expression. “hey, just wanna check. how are you feeling? still sore?” a tiny smile stretches your face. he really does care about you and how you feel after everything. you know for a fact most other guys wouldn’t.

“i mean, yeah. you were... it was a lot, but i’ll be fine in a few days i think.” the mention of peter being a lot makes color rush to his face. you laugh quietly at that, cupping one of his cheeks that’s turning pink. “oh. i, um, i didn’t know that. sorry.” he smiles shyly as you smooth your thumb over his warm skin. “don’t be. it wasn’t as bad after i... adjusted a little,” you reassure him, making him lean into your palm.

“i really am sorry, y/n/n. can i make it up to you?” peter checks with you, eyes going up from yours to down your body. he hooks a finger in the waistband of your pajama shorts. “make you feel better?” the way he finishes his question with a bite of his lip is definitely tempting. so is your stomach yelling at you to put some food in it. you’ll have to wait.

“later. right now, you can make me breakfast,” you beam at him and take his hand. peter pushes his palm against yours, letting you lace your fingers together as he puffs some air out of his cheeks. “yeah, that’s gonna go well.” “i’m supervising. it will.” you capture his lips in a kiss, one he instantly reciprocates, free hand resting on your hip. just as it’s heating up, you break it.

“i’m hungry for actual food,” you giggle and roll out of his embrace. “ok, ok, ok. let’s go see what we have,” peter gives in with a chuckle, grabbing the same hand he was just holding and following you down to the kitchen.

he ends up popping some frozen waffles into the toaster, you sitting up on the counter with your phone out while he struggles through the different settings. “should i put it on bake? no, that doesn’t sound right,” he talks to himself with eyes squinted in concentration. “your dad made this thing so... detailed.” it’s an old stark industries toaster, one with options you probably don’t even need.

“yeah because he loves his toast, so maybe don’t break it. he’ll kill you or something,” you half playfully half seriously suggest. peter is one clumsy guy. he tsks at you and crouches down to read the words on the dial. there’s conveniently a setting for waffles, so he hits that one. he’s not sure how he hadn’t noticed it before.

since he’s down there, he takes one of your ankles in both hands and starts to kiss up your leg. it tickles when he gets to your knee, drawing a giggle out of you, but your phone still blocks his face. you’re doing it on purpose. “baby,” peter tries to get your attention in a soft voice. he presses a couple more kisses to your knee. you have to hold your breath so you don’t laugh again.

“baby girllll,” peter drags out, lips moving up your thigh. he nudges your phone with his nose much like a puppy would. “aye, i’m talkin’ to you here,” he says in a fake new york accent. you finally put it down next to you. “i’m listening.” you’re giving him a satisfied smile as he goes back to kissing you.

“just saying hi,” he looks up at you and moves your shorts aside while he kisses further and further to where you want. you scoot closer to him on the counter.

that’s when he stops. not only stops, gasps in horror. “what?” you ask quickly, his eyes fixed on your inner thighs. “i kind of, uh, marked you up. like, a lot.” he runs a finger gently over the bruised skin. you’re suddenly very aware of it now. it doesn’t exactly hurt, just feels bumpy and weird. you peer down at yourself to see the damage, eyes going wide.

“shit... they’re on my neck, too,” you remember, murmuring to him. you’ll have to cover these up before everyone gets home. worry flashes across peter’s face. “oh my god, i didn’t even realize. it- it was dark and you told me-“ “pete, it’s okay. it’s pretty hot,” you stop his rambling, reaching down and putting a hand on his shoulder. he frowns up at you.

“really? are you sure i didn’t go too far? because you can tell me.” you’ve always appreciated how much peter genuienly values your thoughts on things, in the bedroom and in other parts of your relationship. it does lead to a lot of second guessing, though. you squeeze his shoulder and let out a breath. “i’m sure, okay? it’s really not that serious. i’ll just change so no one can see.”

peter winds an arm around one of your legs, body relaxing ever so slightly under your touch. “okay.” he gives your thigh one final kiss, then rests his chin on it. “what about your neck?” “uh...” you hadn’t considered that yet. “makeup? a scarf?” you’ve seen enough tv to know neither of those work, but they’re your only options.

“yup. mr. stark is really gonna kill me now,” peter says under his breath, tensing up all over again. you furrow your eyebrows at him. “what? we’re literally grown adults, we can do whatever we want-“

tony claps loudly as he steps into the kitchen, announcing his return home. peter jumps up from between your legs faster than fast. he moves so he’s next to you, and you hop down from the counter.

“hello, daughter of mine. spider of man,” your dad greets you two, you pulling down your shorts with a plastered on smile. “or would it be man of spider?” he plucks an apple from the bowl on the table as he ponders his question. steve and wanda file into the room next. “second one,” peter replies, grinning a little too much to be normal. tony takes note of that.

wanda comes over to the fridge for a snack, which is close to where you and peter are. “how was last night?” you ask her to take the attention off you two. wanda settles on a yogurt and turns to you. “it was good. we shared a few hotel rooms, had our own party.” she glances over at peter, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. “seems like you two had a fun night of your own.”

peter’s mouth drops open. “how did you-“ he forgot she could read his mind and now knows everything that happened. you slap a hand over your forehead. “you couldn’t think about anything else? for, like, a minute?” you whisper yell at him. he uses his eyes to plead with you. “i’m sorry! i was looking at the hickeys-“ he realizes what he’s saying. “crap.”

shooting you a wink, wanda shuts the fridge and goes to join the rest of the team in the living room. lucky for you and peter, steve started lecturing tony about washing his fruit before he eats it. he didn’t hear any of that. there’s still the problem of your visible hickeys that you have zero seconds to hide.

“how the fuck am i supposed to cover these? they’re right in the center, peter!” you panic, your heart starting to race as peter fumbles for a dish towel. that’s the best he could come up with? “no!” you toss it back at him. he throws it on the counter with a pained look. tony and steve make their way over to you.

“oh, hush. a couple of deadly pesticides won’t shake me, stevey boy,” tony insists and takes another big bite of his apple. steve huffs in disapproval and crosses his arms. “you’re a big baby, tony. if you’re not gonna do the right thing, at least buy organic-“ with the world’s longest sigh, tony chucks his apple into the open garbage can.

“there. no more apple discourse.” steve shakes his head at your dad’s behavior. “that was a waste. you could’ve finished it.” “not with your nagging into my literal ear.” steve raises his hands in surrender before making his way out of the kitchen. tony side steps past him and over to you. “enough of that now. let’s have a welcome home hug from my girl.”

you share a look with peter, a look of pure fear that’s in both of your eyes. he’ll definitely notice the hickeys if he gets that close to you. he holds out his arms expectantly while peter scratches the back of his own neck. “sure, dad. welcome home.” an awkward smile on your lips, you bury your face in your dad’s chest and wrap your arms around him in one motion. this way, he didn’t have time to see you from too close up.

peter exhales in relief at the narrowly avoided disaster. that’s until tony makes a request. “missed me that much, kiddo, huh? come out of there.” “but, i’m so comfortable. i wanna stay like this,” you insist, a niceness to your voice tony immediately sees through. he drops his arms from around you, eyeing peter suspiciously, who averts his gaze to the floor.

“nuh uh, you did something. both of you,” your dad states, taking a step to stand between you and peter. peter gulps down a breath before speaking. “mr. stark, it was-“ tony holds up a hand. “don’t worry, kid. i’ll figure it out.”

he gives peter a proper stare, searching him for clues of some sort. it’s a good thing he isn’t wanda because the details of your night would have been exposed. he couldn’t find anything, so now it’s your turn. he’s a little disappointed you’re the one hiding something.

“oh, y/n. not you,” tony sighs as he gives you a looking over. he starts with your face, your eyes following down as his do. it’s when he gets just past your chin that he sees them. the little hickeys littering your skin, some already deep shades of purple. he rips off his glasses in disbelief.

“absolutely not.” he closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with the same hand his glasses are in. “i’m not seeing this. i’m not seeing this if i don’t look.” you scoff at his reaction. “dad, you know we’re together. you can’t expect us to not...” “don’t say it,” tony begs, getting the urge to hurl his half eaten apple. he turns and faces peter.

“parker, you really did all of that?” peter only blinks, nervously meeting the eyes of his mentor. “to my daughter?” tony adds on to scare him even more. “i- i-“ a burst of frustration comes out of peter. “you left two teenagers alone the whole night. what’d you think was gonna happen?” he’s shocked at his own words, his face showing it. tony raises his eyebrows. both your hands cover your mouth.

not wanting to deal with peter, tony addresses you instead. “i don’t care how you do it, cover those up. don’t let me see them ever again. understood?” you nod a good amount of times and reach for peter’s hand. he’s about to give it, then tony glares down at what’s happening. peter pulls back immediatelty. “understood. we’ll, um, do better next time,” you agree, tony winching at the idea of a next time.

“you, parker... treat a lady with a little more respect, eh?” tony clicks his tongue at him. he’s referring to all the hickeys. peter’s lips form a line, a sarcastic one that says oh well. “i tried, mr. stark, but y/n wanted me to-“ “christ, that’s enough.” tony furiously shakes his head and starts to walk away from you two. “never again!”

you’re thanking god when he sets off for the living room, you hiding your face in peter’s chest, his face in your hair. “that was terrible. that was the worst thing ever,” you say into him. “i’m sorry, baby. we gotta be more careful.”

it’s not over yet because then, the toaster dings. you’d completely forgotten about the waffles. you and peter both separate with your millionth shared look of terror. tony comes rushing back into the room, very familiar with that noise.

“first you destroy my daughter, now my toaster? pete... you’re in for it, kid.”

[donutloverxo]

Yes captain

Note - this is part three of corrupting a good boy but it's mostly porn so can be read as a standalone as well. Sorry about all the jealousy stuff its just what the muse calls for sometimes. Comments/reblogs are really really appreciated🙏🙏 Dividers by @whimsicalrogers.

Summary - You ask Steve to keep it on while doing it 👀👀

Warnings - 18+ only explicit sexual content, uniform kink, captain kink, daddy kink, roleplaying, jealousy, insecure reader.

Pairing - CEO!Steve x reader

Word count - 4.5k

“Ooo,” you yelped, trying to run away from his firm grip across your hips.

It only made him hold onto you tighter, his nails digging into the flesh of your hips. “There’s no where to run, babygirl,” he chuckled at your misery, delivering another harsh slap to your naked bottom.

You shrieked in pain as your flesh burned in agonising, but delicious pleasure. As if you’d ever want to actually run. “I’m sorry, daddy.” Since you were allowed to call him daddy now, which seemed to always make him forgive you, but you added your princess voice just to be safe and not make it any harder on yourself.

“You should’ve thought of that before you decided to make fun of my team, but you had to be a dumb baby and run your mouth,” he scolded you, slapping you twice before slipping a hand between your legs, the squelching noises of him gathering your slick on his fingers made your ears burn.

You had gotten too bored of him watching the game and not paying attention to you so you might’ve said some mean things about his team, but the jokes on him since your diabolical plan seemed to have worked.

You had gotten too lost in slight tinge of pain in the roots of your hair, that he was pulling, and his fingers teasing your core, you yelped forward when he slapped your pussy, gasping as you throbbed for more of it.

“Honey,” Steve shook your arm causing you to jolt awake.

You had a habit of talking or mumbling nonsense in your sleep and since he was a light sleeper it usually woke him up. He found your incoherent rambles and the little faces you made in your sleep cute, they were particularly intense tonight for some reason, and while he loved you with all his heart he was not about to let you talk nonsense about the Yankees.

“What? Where?” you sat up, rubbing the soft sheen of sweat on your forehead with the back of your hand.

“You were talking in your sleep, sweetheart,” Steve said, rubbing his hand up and down your back, “Come here.” He circled a hand around your waist, pulling you down and back against his chest, kissing the back of your head, “What were you dreaming about, hm?”

“Um...” you blinked, “How much of it did you hear?”

“You think your so clever, don’t you,” he teased, pinching the side of your hip as you giggled.

“Yes, I’m very smart.”

You shut your eyes, ready to go back to dreamland and to your daddy, who was just a version of Steve who liked being called daddy. Which was something Steve would never be into. Not that you’d ever admit to having such a shameful kink.

But you felt Steve grind his excitement against your ass, “You wanna go back to sleep, or...?” he asked, biting the shell of your ear before snaking a hand up your cami to grope your breast.

“You woke me up with such debauch intention?!” you gasped in fake incredulity. Deciding to indulge him and that any time spent with normal real Steve was much better than being with dream daddy Steve.

***

You fixed his tie, tightening it just a bit around his neck. His golden hair was smoothed back, your eyes caught a glimpse of his rosy pink lips. So pouty and perfect. You could spend hours just looking at them, his smile was what truly made you fall for him. But you pulled away when he tried to steal a kiss from you.

“Gloss,” you argued, puckering your lips. Instantly feeling guilty as his pink ones pouted, giving you his sweet puppy eyes.

“Come on, doll, just one kiss? Don’t you wanna wish me luck?” He bent to capture your lips but you moved your head away at the last second, making him groan as his nose bumped against your cheek.

“I spent over two hours getting ready for this!” you huffed, smoothening a hand over your puffy tulle dress, finally having a chance to wear it out in public.

“Did you just smudge my blush?” Gasping, as you looked into the mirror, picking up your rouge and patting it on again.

You loved the dress Steve had gotten you for Christmas, it was so pretty and princess and you felt like Cinderella wearing it.

But it was too... girl-ish, Steve had insisted that you wear it. So he could show off his beautiful new wife.

Tonight though, you had to look like a woman.

A strong woman.

Who is not to be fucked around with. And not someone who is vulnerable and weak.

Because you knew she was going to be there.

“You always look gorgeous,” he mumbled, looking in the mirror and patting his hair to make sure it was in place.

You had convinced him to grow it out. Having more courage to express yourself since the Christmas gift mishap a couple of months ago.

Tucking a loose golden strange behind his ear, you wondered how someone as breathtakingly as beautiful as him could be yours.

But as beautiful as Steve was, he could also be naive. He wanted to see the best in people, which often didn’t let him see what was right in front of him.

How his ex Peggy had been trying to cause problems between you two from day one.

At first she had welcomed you with open arms, with a treacherous smile her red lips had told you that she wanted to be best friends with you. Taking you to the MET museum, of which she was a board member, asking your help in organising a couple of galas and the fundraisers. Shopping with you to make you more presentable to be a CEO’s wife

You were prepared to be wary of her. The fact that Steve was still good friends with his ex, who he had dated for more than five years, didn’t exactly sit well with you, you knew you’d face some troubles there, but then you met her and spent time with her you knew that you did had nothing to worry about.

That was until she, and Steve’s mother, had tried to get you to sign a pre-nup before you both got married.

While Sarah was always nice, you could always sense a tinge of hostility, your intuition told you how she preferred Peggy over you and would much rather have her as Steve’s wife.

With a heavy heart you had told Steve you couldn’t do it. That there was no point in getting married if you would end up divorced eventually. You were ready to cut your losses then, to pack your bags and go home, preparing for the worst. But he understood and said that he wouldn’t be marrying you if he didn’t trust you.

You were glad to have worked out everything, but decided to play nice with ‘Judas', whom you learned had infamously betrayed Jesus from a mass you attended with Steve and Sarah, and pretend that you didn’t know anything about her betrayal.

You shook your head, there was no point in letting her ruin your night, or dictate what you wore. The dress was what you liked and who you were, there was no reason for you to pretend to be like her. Steve liked you because you were nothing like her,

....probably.

You looked over to Steve, tugging his pants up and securing them, you had never once thought you’d be someone who’d have a thing for men in uniforms, they were simply doing their jobs, what the fuck was sexy about uniforms anyway, but that was until you saw your Steve in his...

He really could pull off any color, even something as boring as army green, his chest and built looked almost too broad. Numerous medals adorning his chest. He certainly looked the part of a soldier.

He kissed your temple when he caught you staring at him and you only hoped he couldn’t decipher what was going on in that horny brain of yours.

Steve rarely ever talked about his days in the army. If he did it was about the friends he made and the good times he shared with them. And how army whipped him in shape, made him the man he was.

He had been honorably discharged a couple of years ago, all his army friends only ever spoke highly of him--which wasn’t really surprising.

***

“Hello, darling,” she smiled to you in her classy British accent, kissing your cheek before hugging you, “How have you been? Haven’t seen you since new years!”

“I’m good and you look amazing.”

Which wasn’t a complete lie, she did look elegant in her uniform, a lot similar to Steve’s but her coat had flares at the end which gave it a more feminine feel than that of Steve’s.

“So do you,” she beamed, “Oh, you have a little something,” she gestured to the corner of your mouth before wiping some white frosting from your cupcake off with her thumb as you tried to keep your face from cringing.

So far the strong woman act wasn’t coming along so well...

“So...how is married life?”

Wouldn’t you like to know. “It’s very good. You know Steve, he’s just amazing. I’m lucky to have him.”

“Oh, I did heard about your little goof with your erotica from Natalie, and the gift slip up!” she laughed, hooking her arm around yours, she walked with you towards your husband. “And here I was thinking you are a good girl,” she winked.

“I... guess I’m not...”

“I must say though, unfortunately for you I don’t think Steve would like any of that. He’s always been so traditional,” she rolled her eyes, “He has an old soul.”

Yes, you knew that. You knew that he was traditional and an old soul. Of course You did, he was your husband. Why she felt the need to point out the obvious was beyond you. “Well, you know people can be unpredictable,” you countered.

“Yes, well you’re free to explore of course, I just didn’t want you to get your feelings hurt,” she put a hand over yours.

“Peggy,” Steve greeted her.

“Oh don’t mind us. We’re just gossiping about you,” she smirked.

“Really?” he looked over at you with a quizzical face, “All good things I hope.”

“I don’t have anything bad to say about you,” you said giving Peggy a side eye, “Can we dance? Please?”

It didn’t take a lot of convincing because he loved dancing. After a couple of dances it was time for him to give his speech.

Seeing your husband up on the stage, hearing everyone talk about his accomplishments made your heart swell in pride. You really couldn’t believe you were married to someone like him.

You suppose that you understood where Sarah was coming from. It would make sense for someone like Steve to fall for and marry a classy worldly lady like Peggy. There really wasn’t much you could offer him.

***

“Steve,” you huffed, trying to yank on the zipper for like the tenth time, while you loved the dress you needed to get out of it and breathe for a while.

“Yes, doll?” he called for you, entering your closet, smiling at your struggling form. “How can I help?”

“You can get me out of this thing!” you said, turning your back to him.

You were really feeling yourself tonight, you had gotten a facial and a manipedi, a blowout, spending hours on getting ready for battle. You thought you looked good and fierce. But then you took off your makeup and your extensions and were reminded of how Peggy was much more effortlessly beautiful than you. She had often been dubbed as a ‘natural beauty’.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Is something bothering you?” he asked as he unzipped you.

“No. Will you let me change now?” you turned around, to politely ask him to leave.

“You’ve changed in front of me before.”

“Yes, well I can’t right now.”

“Why not?” he frowned.

“Because...” You couldn’t stop your eyes from turning misty, “I’m ugly...”

“What? Who told you that?” His face instantly flushed with anger as he held onto your forearms, and when you didn’t push him away he pulled you in closer to his chest.

“No one needs to. I know it because I’m not blind,” you confessed, the cool metal of his medal digging into your cheek.

“Then maybe we need to get your eye sight checked. Because you’re the prettiest girl in this whole world. I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.” He stroked your hair, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“You’ll have to fight the whole world then.”

“If it comes to that then I will.”

You couldn’t help but smile at how protective he was. Propping your chin up on his chest you blinked at him. “Why didn’t you marry Peggy? She’s so much more beautiful.” Your heart was heavy with so many emotions, usually you wouldn’t give in and ask something so dangerous--a question you weren’t sure you wanted the answer to.

Judging by the frown on his face, you were afraid that you had upset him, but then it softened as his pale baby blues twinkled at you, “Why would you say that, doll? Peggy is beautiful, but I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I could never even dream of marrying anyone else.”

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others.”

“You really shouldn’t. They don’t measure up to you anyway,” he teased.

“It’s just...” you gulped, not being able to hold his gaze you played with the olive green buttons on his coat, “I heard at the party from Tony, that she will be working with you from now on. Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“You don’t trust me?” his voice cracked.

You whipped your head up, frantically shaking your head from side to side, “No no of course I do! I’m just saying it’s a risky game. To be around her so much... what if old feelings resurface?”

Your heart almost broke as he let go of you, putting some distance between you both, “You know all I ever ask for is that you trust me... and love me. I don’t think it’s a lot.”

You scoffed, “Yeah well, I don’t think me asking you not to work with your ex is a lot. No woman would be okay with her husband spending that much time with her ex.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Why can’t I get through to you?”

“Maybe try speaking at a fourth grade level. Then I’ll understand. Since I don’t have a masters in literature from Sorbonne,” you rolled your eyes. Maybe he was intimidated by how smart Peggy is and decided to go for someone younger and dumber.

“I’ve never... been in love with Peggy or anyone but you really,” he told you, his broad shoulders hunching as he let out a sigh, “Not the way I’m in love with you. We were always more like friends than... lovers.”

“Is that better or worse?” you wondered out loud. Isn’t it important for husband and wife to be friends as well? Was that supposed to be a compliment?

“It’s much better. We would go months without seeing each other, and I didn’t miss her. Like I miss you when I’m at work. I can’t wait to get away and come home to you. Peggy is amazing, and I’ll always have a special place for her in my heart, but I would never even think about cheating on you.

But... I understand where you’re coming from. Maybe I would react the same way if you were to work with an ex. So I can just tell her that she’ll have to work with Nat, or someone else.”

“No,” you blurted.

Absolutely not.

Because A - You really did trust Steve not to stray. He wasn’t that type of man. And B - That would be admitting defeat. Admitting to her that you are afraid of her.

“I do trust you, Steve. I think... I just need to work on myself. If we don’t have trust then we don’t have anything right?”

“I trust you too, honey,” he kissed your forehead. “Just talk to me about this stuff okay? You can’t keep it bottled up.” You nodded as he worked on loosening his tie.

“Um... is that uncomfortable?” you asked, watching him pop open the first button of his shirt.

“The uniform? A little. It’s been a while since I put it on.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t wear it at our wedding.” You smiled. Maybe it was a good thing that he didn’t. While he looked so handsome in the black tux he had worn, the uniform would’ve made him irresistible. You would’ve spent the whole evening swooning over him.

“It didn’t feel right, I just wanted to be myself. Uh... doll,” he quirked a brow as he caught you staring at his crotch, “Hey,” he snapped his fingers, “My eyes are up here.”

“Yes, um, of course,” you whipped your head up as soon as you heard him, since you were too busy trying to make out the outline of his johnson, “And what beautiful eyes you have!”

“Tell me something. What is your obsession with this uniform?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” You decided to feign ignorance.

“Really? You’ve been staring at me all night. Do you not like it? Do you like it? Sometimes I think I don’t understand women at all.”

You probably would’ve appreciated his suit even more so if you hadn’t spent so much time festering in your jealousy. “I think... it’s... kinda hot,” you sighed dreamily as he blushed a crimson red. “You’re like this big strong Captain, and I’m like this small woman, like a damsel in distress type of thing.”

“Oh.” Was the only thing that he said. He never believed you would be into something like that, not from all the feminist rants you tend to go on.

“Oh god. You think I’m a weirdo, don’t you?” You put your hands over your face to hide it from him.

“No no, hey, don’t be like that,” he cooed, pulling your hands away so he could look at your pretty face, “I can be your... big, strong Captain. And you can be my damsel in distress.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah. So... how would it work? Do I save you from a burning building or something?”

“No, sweetie. You’re thinking of a fireman.”

“Oh, right,” he blushed, scratching the back of his neck, “We can do the fireman thing if you like. I can... be a fireman.”

“Steve, we don’t have to do anything.”

“I know. But I want to. Come on! Give me something to work with.”

“Okay,” you cleared your throat. “How about... you keep the suit on?”

“On for how long?” he tilted his head like a cute confused puppy, looking down at his suit, “Oh! You mean on while we’re...”

“Yes. And I could, I don’t know, thank you for serving my country.”

“Yeah. I mean medals and all are nice, but I want a special kind of thanks from you, doll.”

“Ooo,” you felt up his biceps through his coat and shirt, he really was strong. “Do you have anything specific in mind?” you asked, batting your lashes.

“Um... yes.... You get on your knees, miss... I mean ma’am, shit,” he cursed as he awkwardly stumbled over his words. “What do I call you? Are you my wife in this scenario?”

“You can just call me doll, captain. I’ll be whatever you want me to be,” you smiled, cheekily pressing your lips to his in a quick peck but he held onto your waist before you could pull away. Sliping his tongue inside your mouth.

“Alright then, doll. Show me how grateful you are,” he puffed his chest out, so he could appear a bit more dominant.

You only giggled, taking your dress off because there was no way you could kneel in so much tulle.

Standing before him in just a strapless bra and a nude thong, you were vulnerable, but not scared anymore. He was your captain, he’d never ridicule you.

“I’m already feeling appreciated,” he said as he ogled you.

You dropped down to your knees, unbuckling him with some help from him, “It’s so big,” you gasped when you looked at his length, pretending to be seeing it for the first time. Although, you were still always surprised with the sheer monstrosity of it.

“We’ll make it fit, doll. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that,” he smiled, tapping on your mouth, “Open,” he commanded.

You’re a natural, captain. You took a deep breath before opening wide. You’d been having sex regularly for the past three months or so, he had gone down on you more times than you could count, you felt as if he could live between your legs if he could. But he had never once asked you to return the favor, you didn’t have it in you to be the first one to bring it up either.

Licking your lips, you tasted someone of the preejaculate leaking out of his tip before wrapping your mouth around his head, moaning at the salty taste and the essence of him.

“That’s... ugh,” he groaned, “That’s good. Keep going,” he spurred you on, a hand on the back of your head giving you the slightest bit of push.

You took as much of him as you could, stopping halfway through when he hit the back of your throat, you pumped the rest of his length with your palm, holding onto his thick thigh for support, you bobbed your head, increasing your pace when he started moaning loudly.

Rubbing your thighs together to relive some pressure, your throbbing core desperate for some attention and friction, you knew your panties were ruined.

You had read your fair share of cosmos, and the many sex tips they offered, you knew they’d come in handy someday. You swore you remembered reading something about balls... to suck them? Bite them?

You fondled his balls, feeling him tightening in your palm, you were ready to swallow all of you. That was the only proper way of saying thank you.

“Wait,” he growled, pulling you off of him.

You looked up at him, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, doll,” he heaved, “But I gotta come in your pussy.”

Your jaw dropped, to hear the golden boy using such filthy language. “Whatever you say, captain,” you rasped.

Gasping when he yanked you up, pulling you over his shoulder and carrying you to the bed before throwing you down on the mattress.

Although Steve had always been dominant in bed, it was somewhat lowkey and subtle, he was never rough with you, he treated you as if you were made of glass, right now he was treating you as if you were literally a ragdoll.

“Take off your panties,” he ordered you.

You followed quickly, desperate to have him inside you asap, rolling your thing down your thighs and then getting rid of your bra before he even had to ask. You looked at him through your lashes, waiting patiently for his next command.

He hesitated for a moment before saying, “Now touch yourself.” It had always been a wet dream of his to watch you, instruct you as you got yourself off. Since your intention was to please him... he might as well make most of it.

You blinked at him before nodding, “Yes, captain.”

Fondling your breast you pinched your nipple, pulling on it before hissing exaggeratedly, smirking when you saw his hand twitch to touch you.

“What do I do?” you looked up at him with big doe eyes.

He shook his head, circling a hand around your wrist he shoved two of your fingers inside your mouth, “Suck,” he told you. “You like having your mouth stuffed, don’t you?” he asked as you noisily suckled on his fingers.

You shamelessly nodded, hoping that you’d get more opportunities to suck his cock from now on, he pulled your fingers out, bringing them down between your legs, pushing them into your willing channel. His own thumb rubbing on your clit working you up even moreso.

You threw your head back as you felt your climax approaching. “So close... captain.”

But he pulled your hand away from your pussy, tutting at your disobedience, “I didn’t tell you you could come.” He shook your head, giving you a minute to catch your breath before pushing two of his, much larger fingers inside you, “Gotta get you ready, doll. Since you’re so small.”

“Oh! It’s too much...” you moaned, holding onto the bedding.

“How're you gonna take my dick then, doll,” you watched as he licked your slick off of his fingers, “You taste like heaven, honey.”

“Thank you, captain.”

He unbuttoned his coat, he would be much freer without it and fuck you properly like you deserved.

You rolled your eyes when he folded his coat setting down on the floor, when you were literally lying naked before him with your legs spread wide, waiting as his tie and pants followed, “Really?” you scoffed.

“Can’t have them getting dirty, doll.” He knelt on the bed, now only in his shirt, spreading your legs a bit further so he could make room for himself, nudging your intimate lips apart with his length before slowing sinking into you.

He stayed like that for a bit, inside your heat, it felt as if he would explode then and there but he had to savor the moment. To have such a pretty girl wrapped around him.

Hovering over you he placed his elbows on sides of your head so he wouldn’t put too much of his weight on you, and so he could look at your as he fucked you.

He moved his hips against yours, rocking slow and steady, “You like that, doll?”

“Yes,” you nodded as he pulled on your hair to bare your neck to him. Biting your neck to mark you as his, “Do it harder, please, captain.”

“Harder?” he spoke against your neck, pinning both your hands above your head as he started rigorously pounding into you. “That hard enough?”

You were too fucked out to give a coherent answer, or to do anything but nod pathetically and take whatever he gave you.

“Ima come...” you clenched around him as your orgasm washed over you, rendering you immobile and weightless.

He thrusted into you a couple of times before filling you up to the brim - just as he had promised.

“Thank you, doll. That was really nice,” he smiled, laying beside you and pulling you closer to him, he kissed your forehead.

“Thank you, captain. You sure know how to treat a lady right...”

“Maybe we can do this more often,” he suggested as you nodded in reply.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Shout out to my friend lizzygal (you can find her on ao3) who gave me the idea of Steve folding his uniform. It was too hilarious to leave out! Thanks for reading.

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

[northcarolinanative]

𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 (𝟺)

Chapter 4: A Runaway Kid from the Cut 

A/N: OMG YOU GUYS!!! Thank you all so much for the support on this series and all of my other writings. I have never written anything remotely fiction like this before it warms my heart so much that you all are enjoying it!! Any feedback on this series is so much appreciated. I still have ZERO idea where this is going to end up, or how far past season 1 I’m going to take it, but I’m just going with it. Also my requests are open!! PLZ send me some stuff that you wanna see written, it does not have to be just about JJ, I’ll do all OBX cast haha. OKAY Enough if me rambling! ENJOY:) 

No warning on this one... I think? 

Need to catch up? Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 

The sun falling through the back window woke me up from my light sleep, then the sound of rustling sheets. I assumed JJ was just tossing and turning, something the two of us had been doing all night. There was a comfort in knowing that it wasn’t just me that was uneasy, that it was not just me hurting. I slowly fell back into a hazy sleep, filled with thoughts that had been burdening my mind. 

A sheriff’s deputy was standing in the doorway. He told JJ and I to sit down, that we probably needed to. “Your brother, John B, They found the bodies on the wreck of the Phantom.” I looked to JJ who just held his head in the palms of his hands. I started to breathe heavily and the tears fell quickly down my face. 

“No. No, you're lying!” I stood up quickly approaching. 

“Y/N.”  It was JJ’s voice, but I turned around and he was gone, nowhere to be found. “Y/N” 

I sat up out of breath, I was asleep, it was just a bad dream. I took in a deep breath. 

“You good?” JJ asked. I looked over to where he was in the kitchen. He was taking items out of the tote bag and putting them in the fridge. “You were breathing hard, kicking, and kept mumbling no.” He laughed trying to lighten the heavy mood. 

“Yea, Yea. I’m good. Must have just been a bad dream.” I smiled continuing to watch him. “Did you go to the store?” I stood up walking over to help him.

“Yea I couldn’t sleep this morning…” He reached to put something up on a high shelf. “And I figured if I got us some groceries... “ He said Us, making my heart beat a little bit faster. “You would let me stay around?” He questioned, his cheeks turning a slightly darling shade of pink. 

“JJ, you didn’t have to buy me food to stay here. You can stay as long as you like. Lord knows I need the company” I nudged his shoulder, “And I guess you’ll do.” 

“Guess I’ll do?” He held his chest tightly, fainting offense. “Remember that the next time that you crawl into my bed, Routledge.” He laughed. He was okay with sharing a bed with me, which made me feel more comfortable. It helped me to know that I was not alone last night. Who knows where we’re gonna sleep tonight, but I hope it’s not in either of those rooms. JJ started to make himself a sandwich so I went and changed, brushed my teeth, showered. 

I came out to JJ holding up half of his sandwich. I scrunched up my eyebrows to ask what he was doing. “You have not eaten since you got here, you should eat something.” 

I smiled, and said a quick “thank you” to him. As I bit into the sandwich I realized how hungry I really was.

“There ya go” JJ playfully praised. He moved to sit at the other side of the bar. “So I was thinking,” JJ began. 

I covered my mouth while I chewed. “That’s never a good thing,” I joked.

“Oh. Haha. Real original,” but nonetheless still let out a slight chuckle. “As I said” He began again. “I think that we should go to the SBI tent, or the department if the tent is gone. See if they have found anything. Whatever they find you know they are not going to look at it fully. John B’s just..” He paused looking at me. 

“A runaway kid from the cut.” I finished. 

“Sarah was with him, maybe Ward will wanna find her, I doubt it though she did betray him on the highest of levels” JJ laughed at his last statement. 

“Are you JJ asking me to go on a wild goose hunt for my brother?” I spoke with a smile on my face. “It would be my honor” I giggled at my joke. 

“Wouldn’t be my first wild goose chase.” He laughed.

We walked out to my car, JJ jumped in the passenger seat and looked over at me “Can I trust you to get us there in one piece? I remember how you drive a boat, he gripped the overhead handle. 

“Oh very funny. You’ll survive” I joked. “You might need a helmet though.” I began backing up. 

“A WHAT?” JJ laughed looking at you as you pulled from the drive onto the road.

“Buckle up buttercup” 

When we got there and walked up to the tent Shoope was looking at JJ, his face hard to read. JJ leaned over and whispered to me “I’m not his favorite person” He looked at a woman stopping me in my tracks. “You can’t be JB’s sister ok? Your… a tourist, your family is staying here this summer, you met John B at the worst time ok? I’ll explain later.” I looked at him. 

“Ok” I trust JJ, so it must be a reason, he wouldn’t say to do this for anything. We made our way towards Shoope, hoping he would not recognize me, not that he should. 

“JJ, and...:” He paused looking at me. 

“Y/F/N” I said, hoping that instead of saying the nickname everyone called me would help the tourist case. “JJ emotional support” I laughed, but it came out more like a strained cough. He looked between the two of us. 

“Yea, okay, right. Well follow me” He took us back to a table. “I am not gonna sugar coat it for y’all” He pulled out a few papers then a phone. He pointed the screen in our direction, the first picture being the black underside of the boat, barely visible in the water. 

JJ grabbed the phone. “Is that…” 

“The Phantom” JJ finished. Shoope took the phone and swiped over the next two photos. 

“We pulled the boat from the water, but they were not in, under, or around it.” He said. I reached over and grabbed JJ’s hand. He subconsciously gripped it tighter. We were using each other to ground ourselves, keep us from completely losing our minds, then and there. 

“W-What does that mean?” I asked, my voice shaking slightly. Shoope looked at me confused, but carried on. 

“Assuming there were the right amount of life jackets on the boat to begin with…” He looked at JJ. 

JJ nodded. “As far as I know they’ve never been used, or moved since it was bought” he shrugged. 

“Right. Well in that case two are missing. So we’re going to continue to search, widing the radius, see if their bodies were carried anywhere, see if they were able to swim or float anywhere, we are not giving up JJ. I told the other two the same thing.” 

The other two, ouch. Pope and Kie had gone already, without even coming to see how JJ was doing, as far as they knew he was all alone. I didn't even want to think about JJ being alone in this. I squeezed his hand again letting him know that I was there for him. 

“So what can we do?” JJ asked. I felt him shaking under my touch. I’m sure he could feel me shaking as well. 

“Honestly. Take care of yourself JJ” Shoope’s tone was soft, not what I was imagining for him to be toward JJ. 

“What about Ward and Rafe? What about them?” JJ was starting to get angry. He wanted to help, he did not like not being able to be there for his friends. 

“Their being questioned, and things are not looking good for the two of them,” Shoope said. “But that is all that I can say right now.” I followed his eyes to the man in a dark suit standing to the side of the tent. A kook minion there to make everyone’s life harder, and a bit ominous if you ask me. “You two should go home, take care of yourselves. I’m being serious.”

“Thanks officer” I said before pulling JJ by his hand back toward the car. The moment the door shut beside me, it was like a wave crashed over my head, I was drowning. The tears flowed from my eyes and a sob escaped from my chest. I laid my head against the steering wheel. I looked over at JJ who shared the same feelings. Things looked bad but neither of us were ready to admit what everyone was thinking. I kept repeating to myself what Shoope said, bodies, they were looking for their bodies, that floated somewhere. JJ reached over and grabbed my hand again, trying to comfort the both of us again. 

I wiped my cheeks with the backs of my hands and reached for the ignition key, turning it and hearing it sputter. I looked at JJ, then trying again. No luck. I rested my head on the steering wheel. “I don’t want to deal with this” I turned to look at JJ. “I am exhausted” 

“We’ll come back for the car later, take a good strole,” He said, moving to open the door, but stopped when I spoke.

“No J. Not the car, I mean yes the car, but any of it, John B, Sarah Fucking Cameron, My dad, this, I’m tired.” My eyes were closed. I heard the door beside me shut, then felt the door beside me open up. I felt JJ’s touch on my back, then my side. 

“Common now, Princess” Glad he was in a good enough mode to carry on calling me to names that I absolutely despised. “Let’s get you home, it’s not far at all.” He pulled me out of the driver’s seat, then reached in to grab my keys. He handed them to me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I was not sure, but at that moment something inside me changed. Maybe it was the way that he had been taking care of me, despite the fact that he was going through it too. The way his hand felt in mine, in this casual way, just us walking down the side of the old gravel road was nice. We were walking side by side, closer than normal, or maybe it was, and I was just hyper aware. I was still slightly embarrassed by my outburst in the car, not entirely sure how I was feeling.

“Have you not talked to Kie or Pope?” I questioned. I knew the answer. I saw the look on his face when Shoope said he already talked to him. 

“No” He said after hesitating he continued, “They haven't called, or stopped by the Chateau, they knowI’m not going home after taking the boat keys from my dad…” He paused again and I heard him swallow. “Everyone’s dealing with this in a different way I guess.” He bumped his shoulder into the arm connected to the hand he was holding. “Just like I’ve got you and you’ve got me” I felt a blush creep up my neck and face. I reached up and kissed him on the cheek. 

“You’ll always have me here for you J, whether or not you like it.” We both fell back into silence as we walked. JJ was normally not this open or vulnerable, but it was nice to see this side of him. I am glad that he is able to trust and relate to me, at least kind of, in both of us losing John B. 

I was pulled out of my thoughts as JJ pointed to the Crane house. “That’s where the gold was” He chuckled and it almost came out as a scoff. “We followed all the maps, found it and somehow the Kooks still won.” 

Then it hit me, the life jackets were gone, the storm dissipated on landfall as they usually did. Maps. I stopped in my tracks.”JJ” 

He turned to face me, a  look mixed with confusion and worry covered his face. “What?” 

“Maps JJ. That’s it!” I pulled on his hand, almost running us back to the Chateau. 

Tagged; @nikki082489 @lovelymaybankk @dolanfivsosxox​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @downbytheouterbanks @heyhargrove​ @kayln021 

(if you wanna be added to a tag list just reply below or message me:) Y’all’s support means THE WORLD to me!) 

[jeonjeonggukenergy]

Anti-Hero

summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.

pairing ~ jungkook x reader

genre ~ fluff, light smut w/ more to come - college!au

wordcount ~ 1.7k

warnings ~ light smut, drinking/partying, mentions of dick?, basically just making out, feat. long hair jk :)))))

a/n ~ this is my first time posting a fic!!! costume idea inspired by @ddaenggtan‘s iconic weeb-ass jk in chasing butterflies lol, and I got the idea to write this in general from wondering what a scenario like @joonbird​‘s literally flawless fic passionfruit would be like from the opposite perspective bc I kept reading it (and rereading it...and rereading it...) and loving the connection but I’m much more like joon in that au than the reader oooop. anyway thank you to all the writers on here whose work i have loved and my friends who have encouraged me and made me bold enough to embrace such a fun new creative outlet xxx u know who u are :’)

next: chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 (coming soon!) 

~ read on ao3 ~

CHAPTER 1 ~ dress up

You never intended to end up at this Halloween party. You didn't even know who to expect to see here, other than your roommate's friend from high school, the host, who had invited y'all as a package deal even though she knew you didn't really do parties. At least not ones like hers, where every bedroom ended up occupied by the end of the night and nearly no one went home alone. Thrilled to break out of your lame group of friends for a taste of flirtation and fun, you tried to relax into the scene but the unspoken expectation of casual sex intimidated you the tiniest bit.

Speaking of casual sex, there was Jungkook.

Used to admiring him from afar in your "14 Films To See Before You Graduate" class, you paused to take in the sight of him in what you supposed was a more natural habitat. Everyone knew Jungkook got girls, thanks to the rumor his first freshman-year hookup had started about his seriously impressive dick. He had a beautiful body too, carefully crafted muscles obvious even beneath his usual baggy black clothes, so as the more intimate rumors spread and various co-signers confirmed every detail from length to curve to (you had always hated this word, but...) girth, getting a piece of all that became a badge of honor among the girls in your grade. You had never really understood how the awkward boy who hid manga under his desk in class could supposedly be such a sex symbol, but you almost felt bad for him. That kind of reputation following you around everywhere couldn't be all fun and games. If anything, though, it had intrigued you even more about the rest of him, all his little weeb quirks and the way he debated your points in the discussion boards like he actually cared. He wasn't exactly studious in general, but he clearly loved film and you enjoyed speaking up in class just to see how he would jump off of your observations. You hadn't really talked to him other than that, but he didn't seem to be talking to anyone else tonight either. From the corner, you let yourself appreciate the way his nervous hands tugged at the skinny black tie of his costume, freeing more of his throat from a thin yellow button-down shirt.

At least you no longer felt overdressed in your Nancy Drew outfit. The retro headband, brown loafers, and bookish plaid knee-length skirt set a much more sophisticated tone than most other ensembles you'd seen, but Jungkook's weeb ass had basically worn a full suit to channel Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop. With his grown-out hair tousled and a navy pinstripe jacket cinched tight with two strips of electrical tape over his tiny waist, you couldn't deny that he rocked it. He leaned against a long plastic table left in the hallway, bobbing his head to the music in the next room and adjusting the too-slim suit pants around his thick thighs. His translucent cup stayed hidden behind a hip until he raised it quickly to his face for another sip of...red wine? Probably Franzia, knowing tonight's crowd, but anything was better than beer. You made a beeline for the one boy with taste at this party, your sole mission now to get wine drunk, sneak some Usher throwbacks on this playlist, and drop it low enough to leave some dude hard on the dance floor. #wastehistime2019, yknow.

"Hey!" You got his attention, grabbing the hand with the cup before he could lower it out of view again. His eyes grew comically wide and his mouth formed an "o" in shock before you demanded "Where is the wine?" and he pressed his lips back into a line, stuttering.

"I-I-I'm sorry, I just brought a bottle because the beer here sucks but I think it's all gone by now, I tried to hide it but yeah anyway you can have the rest of this one if you want though." Wincing at his own ramble, he ruffled the retro pouf of his hair with one hand and proffered the plastic cup in another. Both actions highlighted how pretty his hands were and you were just slightly tipsy enough to thread your fingers over his in the also-pretty black waves falling over his yep-still-just-as-pretty cheekbones.

"Aw, it's okay, I don't want to take your wine. No more liquid courage for me," you grinned, dotting the lightest kiss on his nose. It was an innocent gesture, but as your face naturally lowered so your noses touched, leaving your lips centimeters away from each other, something snapped—in him.

His wine discarded on the table, a hand curled around to clutch your ass and you practically felt his tongue before you felt his lips. Slamming your body abruptly into his, he nudged a thigh between your legs to grind it up on your center and as your arm got caught between your bodies, the tension you sensed filling his frame gave you pause. You pushed him away gently but firmly with the hand already flattened against his rock-solid abs. Looking down at the slight space restored between y'all, you removed his hands from his hair and your ass and laced them in yours to guide him back against the wall.

"I...what was that?" you almost giggled. You definitely weren't trying to laugh at him, but you couldn't hide your surprise at this first potential proof of his fuckboy reputation.

"I'm—" his whole face crumpled, both from the simple sting of your seeming rejection and the possibility that he had broken a boundary or forced himself on you against your wishes, which made him so sick he could barely face you. Squirming under your light hold but not quite resisting, he rambled again: "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to force myself on you or anything, don't worry I would never try anything if you didn't want to, I just figured we might as well get to the point if you did because, uh...when girls touch me like that or even talk to me at these things it's pretty much always just because they...want to."

"Jungkook," you breathed, pulsing your hands over his in reassurance. He squeezed his eyes shut, still distraught, and when they opened, you had craned your neck to meet his averted gaze.

"I never said I didn't want to."

His eyes widened again. "Uh...uh...then..." he trailed off, never having needed to directly proposition a girl like this before. He really had been inexperienced before the rapid escalation of college, and was at a loss for how to get to the good stuff from here via anything more eloquent than a rushed "Wanna fuck?" You shook your head silently, nose grazing his again, and let go of one hand to cup his face with care, like he was something precious you were scared of breaking.

"What? You want to get right to fucking me?" you murmured into his ear. He shivered at hearing you curse for the first time, freed from the constraints of class discussions and closer than he ever guessed you'd get to him. "Is that really what you want? Or is it what you think I do? Because if it's alright, I think I want something better. For you."

You pressed a new kiss to his nose, only slightly stronger than the one that had started all this. He held his breath and his untouched, open mouth trembled as you scattered soft introductions of your lips across his forehead, to his temples, over the scar that sliced his cheekbone. Finally inhaling a skittery heave of your shared air as you passed closer to his lips, he forced it back out in frustration when you ducked away to nudge under his jaw instead. Returning your hand to his hair, you grinned, enjoying the spike in his pulse under your thumb and skipping the tip of your tongue lightly over his neck right up to the earlobe. You lifted the choppy ends of his waves away from the dangly silver hoop they hid, tensing the strands just slightly between your fingers in an inability to hide your glee. Something told you this was going to drive him crazy.

Taking a slight detour to suck his pierced lobe between your lips, you responded to Jungkook’s low moan of surprise by wedging your tongue through the first oversized hole and letting your teeth clatter over multiple rings of metal. He was trying so hard to stay pliant under you, but the tease of slight pain in a new and unusual spot made him want your mouth more, anywhere he could get it. No one had ever spent this much time tracing so few inches of skin.

And so many girls had buried his face in their necks, craving evidence of an encounter with the Jeon Jungkook, that a strange kind of empathy caught him off guard when you showed him how good it could feel to receive. You connected your lips to the hollow right under his ear, feeling the tendons stretch as his head lolled away from you. Working him through a cascade of light gasps, you stepped away satisfied once you had sucked a dark bloom to the surface. He watched you leave with his mouth agape and chest heaving, unable to believe you could just walk away with a wave and a "See you in class!"

But you did, and he would.

"Shit!" he swore, a shaky hand darting straight to the spot. Now he had to keep his hair long for at least another two or three days. If he showed up to discussion on Monday and had to watch you admiring your work on his skin, he would probably just die on the spot. And that would not be very Spike Spiegel of him.

next chapter

[newtafterdark]

Taste of Metal - Chapter 10: Sweet Beans AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157634/chapters/66411679 What if the overwhelming VR experience Gordon went through, had a deeper purpose than just being a simple simulation & a freelance debug job for him?But most importantly- what if Gordon Freeman listens to Metal & used to be in a band? aka. the “Metalhead Gordon AU”

- - The digital clock on the wall said 4:36 PM. 

 Gordon was laying on the futons in the living room, limbs lazily stretched out and staring at the ceiling. Most members of the Science Team were currently preparing dinner in the kitchen, supervised by Joshua.

 The past few days had been... certainly something. It felt like he had attempted speedrunning several different things at the same time because there was an unsettling feeling of time running out fast for something if he didn't. 

 He knew that was his anxiety. The feeling of too little time for anything, his thoughts running 88 miles per hour, sending him down rabbit holes of thoughts and worries. Especially, since his last job for Black Mesa had him mess up his medication schedule during his time in the simulation. He was slowly getting back to what he considered his personal normal state... and it was honestly a relief. 

 Gordon turned his head to the side, acknowledging Benrey, who was sitting beside him on a pillow, Gordon's injured arm gently laying on his open palms as he was applying a new layer of healing sweetvoice to it. 

His arm was significantly better now. Still sensitive to touch, but all in all healing. Though he had to admit that the scars that had been forming in the process were... unique. 

 The edge of where the mess started was more akin to what he had expected - lighter coloured slightly bumpy lines & patches where the skin had been damaged. 

 But the area where it had been an open wound? That's where it looked... unusual. It looked like a protective layer of flesh & skin had formed where it shouldn't have without a proper surgery. The skin there was just as light as the scarring on the edge... but it felt new. Sensitive. And a certain amount of weird because... well, this simply wasn't what a human body would do on its own during a healing process.

 Then again... his body had been getting help with the whole thing-

 Gordon closed his eyes and let out a soft hum, almost harmonizing with Benrey holding a steady note beside him, as the cool sweetvoice hit his arm. 

 He hadn't really had the time to ponder over the fact that he was sharing his apartment with several non-humans... but laying on a comfy futon, having to hold still and wait for Benrey to be done sweetvoicing at him - yeah, that sounded like a good time as any.

 Well, until he noticed that Benrey stopped singing. He opened one eye, seeing Benrey looking at him with a questioning look on his face, his head slightly tilted to the left.

 "Yo, you gonna space out on me with 'em big thoughts?", Benrey asked.

 Gordon chuckled at that. 

 "I told you once and I'll tell you again - your sweetvoice is good. Helpful and... just really relaxing. Helps my brain shut up about the painful shit and lets me focus on things I actually want to think about. Can't help it, my dude.", he said with a shrug and a soft smile.

 "Huh.", was all Benrey said, keeping eye contact with Gordon.

 The human in question blinked up at the guard.

 "If you want... I can tell you my thoughts while you do... uh... the healing thing? No need to reply to me, just... I don't know, me rambling for a bit?"

 Now it was Benrey's turn to blink - and to Gordon's surprise similarly to a lizard, an eye-lid-like part of eyes closing over them sideways.

 "... that's so fucking cool...", Gordon whispered in awe, staring at Benrey with wide eyes.

 "Whu- What?"

 "The thing your eyes do when you blink! I... I guess I was never close enough to actually notice it. It just looks cool, is all I'm saying."

 "W-Wow, Gordon Flirtman here trying to butter me up with the compliments?"

 Despite his quick retort, Benrey visibly turned a shade darker and averted his eyes, letting out a few pink orbs of sweetvoice before returning to the healing teal.

 Gordon let out an amused huff, resting his free arm behind his head and looking back at the ceiling.

 "Look, I just appreciate all the cool non-human things you and the others can do. I... I don't know how much of it was just part of the simulation and what you can do now that you're free again... but it's simply exciting to me!"

 He heard a slightly deeper-pitched tone coming from Benrey, somehow making him feel like it was okay to continue talking.

 "So many terrifying things crawled out of the Breach over the past years... all with the goal to destroy and to conquer. The Kaiju and every other creature related to them were all I had for reference for non-human beings for a long time. Aside from Joshua, of course, but you get what I mean."

 Benrey let out a few notes that sounded similar to a soft "Uh-huh". 

Gordon continued. 

 "But as scary as you guys think you are... and as you can be-"

 Gordon turned his head towards Benrey once more.

 "- Thank you for being you. Silly, obnoxious, chaotic and kind. And for showing me that not everything you can find beyond portals and in shady labs is something I should fear forever. That I needed to learn to listen and learn, again. To understand. To actually be the kind of scientist I always wanted to be."

 They sat there for a while, Benrey laser-focused on Gordon's arm, a few stray orbs of sweetvoice remaining in the air between them as he eventually closed his mouth.

 "I did a good... thing? By being- uh, me?", Benrey eventually stuttered out, still gently holding Gordon's arm in his hands. 

 Gordon nodded.

 "No one told you to apologize to me after everything - even when I told you not to worry- but you did so anyway and on your own accord. Not to mention you are actively helping me heal physically since the moment you guys found me."

 He reached over, resting his hand on Benrey's knee.

 "You may not be human, Benrey... but you are a person who tries to make up for the things they fucked up. And that's a good thing, in my book."

 Benrey's brows were furrowed as he slowly nodded.

 "I'm.... n-not a bad guy? All the time?"

 "You're a menace with Gremlin energy at worst, at this point."

 That made Benrey snort, Gordon laughing softly in return. 

 "Uh, feed me snacks 24/7 and I'll be the greatest cool!", Benrey added with a grin.

 "That's not how Gremlins work!", Gordon wheezed, moving his hand and pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to keep himself from breaking out into loud laughter.

 "Only got the energy, bro. Am not small or fuzzy... right now."

 Gordon slowly sat up, intrigued by the implications of those last two words. He opted to sit cross-legged, radiating curiosity and excitement as his hand was drumming away on his thigh.

 "Shapeshifting... Shapeshifting!! Okay, okay! Tell me when I get too personal with my questions but... uh... you can change your appearance not just in size? Holy shit man, that's... that's WILD!"

 Benrey stared at Gordon with wide eyes for a second, taken off-guard by the man's excitement for his more out-there powers. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously - something he had observed Gordon doing sometimes and added to his own mannerisms. 

 "Yeah, uh, character creation ain't perma-locked. Can access that anytime I want. Makes me tired when I do it too much... but it's cool.", he said, then looking somewhat unsure- "Would you... be a big cool with me doing that? Around here? SMALL WAYS! N-No big Benny. Just... feel comfy here. To do that, I mean."

 Gordon smiled at that, reaching over to place a hand on Benrey's shoulder. 

 "Dude, as long as you don't go full horror and accidentally scare the shit out of any of us, go ahead. I don't know... what you have in mind with "small ways"... but I am curious, so... go ham."

 "You sure? Is right now okay?"

 "Uh... if you want, yeah!"

 Gordon was about to remove his hand to give Benrey some space, but within the blink of an eye Benrey's hands looked... almost paw-like. His fingertips ended in dull claws, while the skin on his hands had a slight gradient to them, reminding Gordon of the ever-present shadow on Benrey's face. He let out a soft gasp-

 "Holy SHIT?!- Let me see?? Can I touch them?"

 "Huh? Ain't nothing fancy, but sure."

 Gordon mirrored Benrey's previous gentleness with his arm as he now carefully took one of Benrey's hands (paws?) in his own.

 "Wow...", Gordon breathed, slowly turning it over-

"HOLY FUCK YOU HAVE BEANS????? PAW BEANS?"

 Benrey let out a crackle at that but nodded. 

 "Sometimes, 'cause it makes stuff easier. Climbing and holding shit and all that. Got that perfect gamer grip."

 "..."

 Benrey tilted his head at Gordon's sudden silence. 

 "Uh... ?"

 Gordon looked up from staring at Benrey's hand, the biggest smirk on his face. 

 "So... you got paw beans."

 "Y-Yeah?"

 "Which means you also have toe beans-"

 "What you talking about Feetm-"

 "Beanrey."

 "Wha-"

 "BEANREY!"

 "NO!", Benrey exclaimed through already starting to laugh, as Gordon fell back on the futon wheezing, barely managing out a "YES!" in reply.

[sylvesterlestermanchester]

Love is the Fulfilling of the Law

Summary: Dan’s happy in his relationship with Phil. If only everything else could start to fall into place, that’d be great.

Word Count: 5,700

Genre: Humor, fluff, angst. Isn’t that life?

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of homophobia, allusions to conversion therapy.

A/N: This won’t make much sense unless you read the first fic in the Fearfully and Wonderfully verse, Fearfully and Wonderfully! (I was really creative with that title huh.) Also, ty for all the love on the past two fics! I don’t have much free time to write these, so I appreciate a few people actually saw it lol.

Dear God. 

Hey, God, it’s me.

Our father, who art in heaven...

Wait, am I supposed to pray to God? Or Jesus?

Dan let out a quiet groan, burying his face in his hands. It was way too early in the morning to be thinking, let alone trying to connect with a higher power. 

Why couldn’t Dan pray like Phil did?

Yeah, Dan could’ve asked his boyfriend for help with this. His boyfriend, literally the most religious person Dan had ever met. His boyfriend, who had plans for seminary. His boyfriend, who...his boyfriend…

A sleepy grin spread across his face as he pushed all other thoughts out of his mind and snuggled up closer in his boyfriend’s arms, their bodies squeezed together on the tiny twin mattress that barely fit just one of their lanky bodies. In the month that they had been dating since coming back from the retreat, Dan still wasn't tired of calling Phil his boyfriend-when nobody was around, of course.

“Boyfriend…” Dan sang quietly as he moved to play with Phil’s shaggy hair, biting back a laugh as he received a quiet snore in response. “Oi, boyfriend.”

“Shush your hush.” He hears back after a moment, voice low and tired, but still fond. “Shush your hush?”

“Mmm.” “Wow, quite eloquent. Shush your hush. I’ll write it down for later, so you can-”

“Shush!” Phil suddenly rolled on top of Dan, pressing a sloppy, wet kiss to his cheek.

“Wha-Phil, guh-ross!”

“It’s what you get.” Phil laughed, nuzzling his nose into Dan’s hair.

The sleepy cuddles only last a bit longer before they force themselves out of bed, getting ready for class. It’s only when Dan tugs on a new shirt and catches a glimpse of Phil kneeling beside the bed and looking up at the ceiling that he remembers why he woke up early to pray-or at least try to. 

Phil looks...peaceful. Transcended, almost, from their cozy but cluttered dorm room. Part of Dan winces for his knees, but part of Dan is jealous. This is something so deep, so meaningful to him, and it’s something Dan feels this need to share with him. 

How could he be with Phil if he can’t even share the most important thing in his life with him? He’s pulled out of his thoughts this time by Phil’s soft giggle. “Are you watching me?” He asks softly, pushing himself to his feet and moving over to wrap his arms around Dan’s waist. 

“W-What? No. Just zoned out. I need coffee.” He whined, running a hand through Phil’s hair and pushing it back lightly.

“You were creeping on me, creeper.” Phil giggled and tickled Dan’s side lightly, watching as he squirmed.

Before Dan can argue back, Phil leans closer and presses a lazy kiss to his lips. One month in, his knees still weaken as he feels his boyfriend’s soft lips on his. 

“C’mon, we should get going.” “We could just kiss the day away.” Dan murmurs. “We could. But I could also buy you coffee and we can try to focus on these midterms you guys keep warning me about.” Dan grumbled and pressed a quick peck to his lips before pulling away reluctantly. He was dreading the mid-semester exams that were coming up just a couple weeks from now, and he knew Phil wouldn’t be prepared at all, considering he hadn’t even known they were a thing until last week. 

Once they gather their things and share a final kiss (okay, three) they both pull away, Phil smoothing his shirt down and Dan fixing his hair before they step out into the hall.

Phil trails behind-close, but not too close. Far enough away that they look like just roommates. Close enough that it keeps Dan from reaching back and tugging him into his arms, just wanting to envelop himself in Phil.

It’s when they’re walking that Dan sees the glint of the silver cross necklace bouncing against Phil’s chest, and his eyes trail from that up to the clouds in the sky, finally getting as close to a prayer as he figures he’s going to get.

Hey, God. Speak to me, yeah? If for nobody else, for Phil. 

-

“Okay, I’ve done the math-we can do this! With a week left before everyone’s first exam, we just need to keep up the studying, and-and maybe sleep, like, three hours less a night each.” Phil rambled, hands shaking from the abundance of caffeine rushing through his veins. He looks up from his calculator before looking at Louise and Dan across the booth, a nervous smile on his face as he tries desperately to cheer up his sullen friends. “Y’know, three hours isn’t even that much, especially if we work really hard and study non-stop. These tests should be easy then, right?” PJ chuckled dryly, rubbing his temples slowly. “You sound insane. You really never had to take tests in your little homeschool world up North?” He asked, pawing through the mountain of books in front of them. The fun “study session” that Phil had suggested had devolved into madness once the sugary coffee drinks had gone through their system, and Phil was desperately trying to scrape it back together.. “Well, not really. Once a year, we did this one just to prove we were actually learning. And then I took that weird G-C-E test or whatever, but I didn’t even take that seriously, because I barely knew what it was. But I must’ve done okay, because I ended up here, right?”

Louise stared at him before groaning. “Only you could half-ass the GCSEs and manage to score high enough to get a fucking huge scholarship.” Louise rolled her eyes playfully as she reached out and ruffled his hair. “The rest of us are doomed. Hey, Speaking of the North, why didn’t Chris show up, again?”

Phil giggled a bit as PJ shrugged, slurping his Frappuccino. “Just said he couldn’t make it, that’s all.” “He’s been ‘busy’ a lot lately.” Louise rolled her eyes gently. “He’s gonna bomb if he just stops studying.”

“What is he even doing?” PJ raised his eyebrows. “Seriously, I’m getting concerned-”

 “Less gossip, more studying, c’mon!” Phil interrupted suddenly, shaking his head quickly.

Louise and PJ rolled their eyes but reluctantly grabbed their pens, but Dan is too focused on Phil’s slightly trembling hands thumbing through his textbook. His nearly-neurotic obsession with studying wasn’t anything new-Phil had been studying a lot lately, breaking both the coffee and all-nighter limit they had set earlier that semester. 

Dan...well, he wasn’t exactly doing the same.

Pre-law was boring as fuck. Dan could feel his soul dying every time he went to a seminar. He couldn’t stand anyone else in his major. His eyes glossed over if he read case studies for more than 15 minutes, and if it came between studying and, well, literally anything else, he would gladly take anything else. 

Especially when that anything else was kissing Phil. 

Kissing Phil sounded really good right now. If their friends hadn’t been around, he’s sure he would’ve dragged Phil out of here by now and to one of the dozens of hidden corners of their campus for a good secret-kissing session. In fact, he’s tempted to make up some excuse and pull Phil away now when Louise nudges him. 

“Earth to Dan? Dan, aren’t you slipping in this class? C’mon, stop zoning out and get to work.” “You’re slipping?” Phil frowns, head jerking up. “Oh, Dan, why didn’t you say anything? You know I would’ve helped you study.” Dan groans under his breath. “Okay, okay. I’ll do it. I can’t help that it’s just so incredibly dull and stupid and-” PJ rolled his eyes. “We get it, you hate it. Less bitching, more studying, all of us.” Dan ducks his head down and begrudgingly starts to read along with the rest of them. He doesn’t miss the way Phil’s eyes glance over at him, offering him a sympathetic smile. If he had to, he would. If only just so he could trudge through it and get to the other side already. 

After a moment of debating, he glances up at the ceiling. God, if you’re there-let me get through this?

-

“Remand.” “I want to re-mand you that you’re my boyfriend, not my tutor.” Dan flashed Phil a grin, wiggling his eyebrows.

His grin wavered a bit as Phil shook his head, biting his bottom lip and giving him a stern look.

“Remand.” He repeated firmly, and Dan sighed.

“Um...the case in the court below it was incorrect?”

Phil shook his head. “Close, it’s actually-” He gets cut off by a dramatic groan from Dan, only muffled as Dan buried his face in their mattress. “Dan, I know you had your English exam today, but this law test is in two days. You need to-”

“Give me another one.” He snaps, and Phil sighs.

“Preemption.”

“That’s not a word.” “Dan, yes it is.” Phil says, voice softening as he reaches out and rubs Dan’s back. “Head up. What does it mean?” “Wait....is it when two courts, can-can...they can hear the same case at the same time?” Dan asks hopefully, looking at Phil, who’s grimacing.

“Not-Not exactly.” Before Dan can start up again, he quickly jumps in. “Let’s try an easy one-Plaintiff.” “Who even cares?” Dan snapped, kicking his feet childishly. He’s being annoying, he knows. He knows it’s late, and Phil has his own studying to do, and that he’s just trying to help. But Phil’s been on him since their study session last week when Louise let it slip that Dan wasn’t doing well in this class.

“I care, Dan.” Phil sighed, looking down and speaking quietly. “I-I just want you to do well. I’m praying for you and everything, but you gotta put some work in as well.” That shuts Dan up. 

“You’re praying for me?” He asked quietly. “I mean, I pray about you all the time.” Phil lays back down and gently pulls Dan with him. “But yeah, I’m praying for you. You just-you don’t seem happy with what you’re studying, and I just want you to be happy and successful. So I’m praying you find that.”

Dan pauses, not sure how to react. He doesn’t have a chance to when Phil gently adds “Even if...even if that means not doing law.” At that, Dan turns to look at Phil. “Don’t say that.”

“Seriously, Dan, if you want to study something else-” “Phil, drop it. I mean it.” “Fine, fine.” Phil pulls away, rolling off the bed and padding over to his desk. “You take a break, I’ll study on my own.” Dan curls up slightly into himself, his stomach turning. Phil sounded...defeated, almost. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or maybe Phil was more stressed than he was letting on. And Dan was only adding to it, oh God, what a fuck-up he was- “Pray with me?” Dan blurts out suddenly. 

Phil freezes mid-highlight before turning to Dan, eyebrows furrowed.

“You just...you look so calm when you do. It’s worth a shot, right?” Dan says, but it’s a weak lie. He doesn’t just want the calm Phil has. He wants that relationship with a God, that spiritual awareness. He wants to feel close to Phil in the way that seems to keep them apart, moreso even than the physical distance that they keep when out in public.

After a moment Phil’s expression softens and he gives Dan the kind smile that always makes him melt. Before Dan knows it he’s back on their bed, pulling Dan close. “Why don’t we do the Daily Examen?” “More exams?” Dan raised an eyebrow, smiling as Phil giggled.

“Examen. It’s a guided prayer. It helps me when I’m all over the place and can’t think as clearly.” 

Dan nods a bit, taking Phil’s hands and watching as his eyes fall shut. “Dear God...we’re now entering a space where you’re with us.” Dan watches as Phil takes a deep breath before realizing he should probably close his eyes, too.

Phil starts them by listing their gratitudes (coffee, a kind professor who let Dan finish the last bit of his essay despite being over the time limit, a sunny day), focusing on emotions (Dan’s a bit surprised with how empathetically Phil agrees with Dan’s overwhelment), picking one area to pray (peace), and then their hopes for the next day (just to get through it). 

As he leads Dan, Phil gets that serene smile on his face, and Dan opens one eye slightly to watch him. He wants what Phil has, really. But he can’t shake the feeling that, well, they’re just talking to someone who isn’t there. 

When Phil opens his eyes, he gives Dan a slightly hopeful look. “Better?”

“I feel...calmer,” Dan says, and it’s true. He feels a bit better, but he’s not sure that it’s as much because of the prayer or because of Phil’s soft, guiding voice. 

“Good. Now, let’s forget about vocab, yeah? We can study more tomorrow. Let’s get some rest.” He presses a gentle kiss to Dan’s forehead, and suddenly Dan feels the guilt build up further. He wants to feel this sense of closeness, and he’s pretty sure by the relaxed grin on Phil’s face he wants it as well.

“Night, love.” Dan whispers, watching as Phil snuggled up close before drifting off. With a sigh, Dan looks up at the ceiling.

Okay, God, I had Phil with me this time. He thinks, furrowing his eyebrows a bit. And you still can’t talk to me? Give me a break here, yeah?

-

Dan and Lou stand in the cold a couple days later when they're outside the church for study group, waiting for Phil.

PJ had to cram right before an art exam, which seemed like an oxymoron to Dan, but he couldn’t be envious of how cool that sounded. They both had tests-Phil a math exam that he was surprisingly confident about, and Dan’s law exam, which, well…

“How’d it go?” Phil asked cheerfully as he jogs up to them both, and despite the heavy feeling in Dan’s chest as he flashes back to the test-he had barely finished in time, and he knew that a lot of guessing was involved.

“It’s law. But, um, you know. Decent.” Dan lies with a small shrug. Louise quirks her eyebrow subtle, a trait that Phil doesn’t seem to pick up on as Dan asks about his exam and smiling as Phil lights up.

“Good! I know I nailed the extra credit. I’m exhausted, but-” “Chris? Hey, I thought you said you weren’t going to come!” Louise says as Chris walks over. It’s only then that Dan realizes he hasn’t seen him for more than a passing wave in the halls for about two weeks now. 

All their study sessions, and group de-stresses, and snack runs, Chris hadn’t been there. But here he is, Bible in hand and with a weird grin on his face.

“You know me!” He says, sounding just a bit too cheerful. “Unpredictable Chris. Let’s get inside, yeah?”

Phil watches as he makes his way through the chapel. “Oh-yeah, that sounds good. How is everything, by the way? It seems you’ve gone MIA-”

Chris waves him off. “I’m here now, Phil, c’mon. I need some snacks.”

They head down the stairs and make their way to sit in their regular seats, Phil and Dan exchanging quick glances. After a few minutes, they begin-brief introductions, a few announcements, and finally the starting prayer.

Before Caroline can direct them to a verse to study for the day, Chris butts in. “Can I ask a question?” 

Both Phil and Caroline smile widely and nod, and Chris flips open his Bible.

“I was reading some 1 Samuel, about David and Jonathan.” He starts, gripping the book tightly in his hands. He taps a bit of a highlighted text, raising his eyebrows. “And they talk about how “David loved Jonathan more than women,'', and how, and I quote, ‘the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David’. I mean...they were gay, weren’t they?”

The group seems a little taken aback by Chris’ bluntness, and Dan doesn’t need to look over to sense Phil shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

Caroline jumps in quickly. “I-I mean, people have interpreted it that way, yes. But they could have just had a deep, brotherly bond-”

Chris’ snort cuts her off. “I dunno, it seems pretty gay to me. I mean, they literally start smooching it up.”

“I think that they were gay, actually.” A girl across the room says with a shrug. “I mean, there had to be gay people back then. And Chris is right. They seem to act pretty romantically.” “You really think so?” A guy furrows his eyebrows. “I never read it like that. Judas kisses Jesus, but they weren’t gay.” “Yeah, well, I guess that’s not exactly the point. Here’s my question. How can you guys read and live by this book, but even though you claim that God is all-loving, some of you guys hate gay people?” The group falls silent, but that seems to only spur Chris on further. 

“Seriously. You guys talk so much about loving God, and God loving us, and loving brothers and sisters, but what if somebody in here was a guy, who happened to love guys? Like…” Dan holds his breath, eyes wide as he stares at Chris. 

“Like me?” He continues. Dan blinks a few times, looking equally as stunned as everyone else as his eyes dart around the room.

“Well-we want to be tolerant of everyone in here, so let’s start off with that.” Caroline jumps in again, but Chris shakes his head and barks out a laugh that doesn’t sound funny at all.

“I don’t want to be fucking tolerated, I want to be respected, and loved, and cared about-not just in spite of my sexuality, but because of my identity.” 

Chris stands to his feet, gritting his teeth as he slams the Bible shut and starts pacing around the circle. “It really, really fucking hurts when people don’t respect that. It hurts when I have to hear from my friends-” With that he whirls around, walking over to Phil suddenly. 

“Chris…” Phil whispers, sinking down in his seat somewhat as he looks up at him.

Chris stops in front of him, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring down at him. “When my friends talk so much about loving one another, but I’m not sure that they would love me if I was authentic with him.”

Phil sucks in a deep breath, slowly standing up. “Chris.” He says, voice shaking. “Chris, I promise I had no idea.” 

“Yeah, well, forgive me for being nervous.” Chris snaps. “I mean, you-Phil!”

Chris lets out a small yelp as Phil suddenly tackles him in a tight, desperate hug. The entire group is watching their every movement. Dan feels like his heart is going to explode. Finally, Phil pulls away, still holding both of Chris’s hands in his.

“Chris, if I haven’t shown you that I love you dearly as one of my greatest friends, I have f-failed you. As a friend. As a man. And as a follower of Christ.”

“You haven’t failed-” Chris laughed shakily, trying to hide the fact that his eyes were welling up, but then he looks shocked as a small sob erupts from Phil.

“I love you s-so dearly, Chris.” He says, quickly trying to control himself. “ ‘If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?’ “

“Chris, I-I know what love is because of the undying love of you as my brother. Through that I know God, and I know that God loves you so, so much. E-Even if you don’t believe, nobody ever-and I mean ever-should use him against you or your sexuality.” 

Chris is full-on sobbing now, and Phil pulls him to his chest, rubbing his back.

“If you’re gay, or bi, or-or whatever, I love you, and I love you b-because of it. I never want anyone to f-feel hated for that.” Phil pulled away after a moment before turning to the group. “And-And if you call yourself a servant of Christ, and you want to perpetrate this hate, or intolerance, I-I’d ask you to question why seeing someone-someone like Chris love another person with a pure heart makes you s-so uncomfortable.” Phil hugs him again as Chris’s shoulders shake and he balls up Phil’s shirt in his hands, mumbling “Thank you, thank you, thank you...”

After what seems like an hour, Caroline speaks quietly. “I think you both brought up some great points. Why don’t we wrap up early today, and-and we can try to pick this up next time, okay?” The group stays silent as Caroline leads them in their closing prayer, Chris’s quiet sobs the only noise besides her soft voice. People stand, a few shuffling over to give Chris hugs and murmur in his ear. “I think I’m gonna go for a walk with him. Y’know, help calm him down.” Phil murmured to Dan when he got a moment away. “Clearly a tough time, yeah?” “Yeah, yeah, of course.” Dan nods quickly, still a bit shell-shocked from the sudden outpouring of emotion. “Are you gonna-” He glanced between the two of them, and Phil bit his lip.

“I don’t think this is the best time to tell him about, um...that. It’s about him right now, me.” He said, glancing back at Chris nervously. “I just want to give him time to decompress. But we’ll grab dinner later, yeah?” 

Before Dan can answer Phil is back over with Chris, a supportive hand on his shoulder as he leads him out. The next thing he knows, he’s alone in the small room, and he takes a few deep breaths before looking up at the ceiling.

Why do you have to make this so hard, God?

-

It’s just about eight-thirty when Dan’s phone buzzes.

We had a long talk-tho i guess u guessed! Lol! 0_o U want 2 meet @ snake path? -Phil! 

Dan couldn’t help but grin in spite of the heaviness he had been feeling for the past several hours, practically jumping off the bed. 

Omw in five. 

Snake Path was Phil’s name for this little curvy path near the edge of campus, totally obscured by trees. The two had shared plenty of kisses and mini dates there, hiding out from the world when it all got to be too much. Some time with Phil sounded perfect-time where he didn’t have to think about God, or Chris, or coming out, or God forbid the fucking bombed law exam.

Dan can practically feel the sadness dissipating as he makes his way down, pulling his jacket tighter with a happy hum under his breath. Once he sees Phil, he picks up speed, laughing a bit as Phil gives him a small wave.

“Why didn’t you ask me to bring you a jacket?” Dan whined, wrapping his arms around Phil tightly. “You must be freezing!” “Well, good thing I’ve got you to warm me up.” Phil grinned and sat down, pulling Dan into a kiss as soon as he was sat down as well.

Dan giggled and started to speak, but Phil was kissing him again, hands moving to gently hold his hips.

“I missed you.” He murmured against his lips. “I know it’s stupid, but we haven’t had enough time to ourselves lately.”

“I missed you, too.” Dan sighs, wiggling slightly under Phil’s hold as he pulled him into another kiss. 

Phil kisses back, and for the first time all day, Dan feels good.

Dan’s totally lost in the feeling, letting out a happy sigh. Before he knows it, he’s climbing into Phil’s lap, hands cupping his cheeks. 

He doesn’t even realize that he’s sliding his tongue into his mouth until Phil makes a surprised noise, quickly freezing as he feels guilt swarm inside him.

“Phil…” He starts to push him away, but Phil giggles a bit, looking a bit stunned, before he slowly tries to pull him back. “Nobody’s out here…” He assures Dan, shrugging a little bit. “If-If you want to keep going-” 

“Phil, I-what are we doing? What am I doing?” Dan quickly moves off of Phil’s lap, hugging his knees to his chest.

Phil blinks a few times. “...Kissing your boyfriend?” He asks, tilting his head to one side. He’s giving Dan a clueless look, like he really doesn’t get what’s going on. That only makes Dan’s stomach hurt worse.

“You know I want to do a bit more than kissing, don’t lie.” Dan’s snapping now, but he can’t help it. All the frustration is bubbling up, and the way Phil’s face turns red and he looks away sheepishly. “And I think you do, too.”

“Is that such a problem?” He said quietly. “That I want to...do more, with you?”

“Yes, Phil!” Dan groans. “Are you-Are you kidding me right now?”

Phil takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry-you just came on kind of strong. I-I guess I must’ve gotten the wrong idea.” “Yeah, well, you sure did.” Dan grits his teeth, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “I’ve had the worst fucking day of all time, and now look what’s happening.” Phil looks completely beside himself, curling up a bit further into himself, but before he can speak Dan’s going off. All these things he’s been holding inside him for so long, they just seem to be exploding out.

“Everything sucks, yeah? I get that for you, it might be different. You know what you want to do with your life, and you love it. It’s your calling or whatever. And you’re naturally some freaky genius who gets to do everything right the first try.” “Dan, c’mon-”

“No! It’s true! You’re Mr. Saintly, you can do whatever you want! My parents think I’m some delinquent, and I have to become a shitty lawyer to convince them I’m not!” “Hey, hey-” “You don’t get the pressure I’m under!” Dan snaps finally, slamming his hand against the grass. “I don’t know pressure?” Phil says, voice quiet. Dan opens his mouth to speak, but freezes as he catches the glare Phil shoots him. “You’re telling me I don’t know pressure? The model Catholc ex-homosexual?” Dan nearly shivers as the way Phil’s voice raises in anger-it’s not even that he looks that mad, but it’s so foreign that it terrifies him.

“I mean, really, Dan! I’ve never taken exams like this, I’m exhausted, I’m worried about you, I learn my-my friend thinks that I’m just as bad as the people who tried to ‘cure’ me, and now my boyfriend is getting mad that we just want to kiss after a long day and telling me I don’t know pressure?”

Dan gulps audibly, wrapping his arms around himself. “I didn’t mean to get mad.” He says finally. “Then why were you?” Phil sounds exasperated. “I don’t understand how you can kiss me like that and then just freak out and expect me not to get worried!”

Dan sniffles a bit, looking down. ”Well...we were getting kind of intense. And we’re Catholic, so I thought-”

He falls silent as Phil’s anger fades away and is replaced with confusion.

“Wait, hold on.” He shakes his head. “We’re Catholics?”

Dan freezes before looking over at him with a guilty look, feeling his insides physically ache at all of the hurt inside him. “Well...I-I’m trying to be one, anyways.” He explains shakily,

Phil gently rubs his hand with his thumb, letting Dan continue.

“I-I’m always trying, you know that? Even if I seem like I’m being a little bitch about flashcards, or-or slacking off, or just being weird and watching you pray. I’m trying! I’m trying to believe in God, I’m trying to not flunk out, I’m trying t-to not kiss you in front of everyone, I-I’m trying so hard, and it’s just-it’s not enough…” “Baby…” Phil reaches out and pulls Dan into his lap again, this time only to hold Dan as tight as possible. 

“Why isn’t it enough?” He hiccupped out as he started crying, breath coming faster. “E-Everyone else g-gets to do everything s-so easily, s’not fair!”

Phil didn’t say anything, just humming sympathetically and rubbing slow circles onto his back. After a bit, Dan finds himself slowly starting to calm down, and when his crying has been reduced to sniffles and a shaky sigh, Phil pulls away. 

“Do you want to start brainstorming solutions?” He suggested gently. Dan shrugged, rubbing his eyes. “Okay, let’s start with an easy one.” He says, voice somehow managing to be matter-of-fact and still loving. Dan feels himself shrink slightly, pressing his cheek to Phil’s shoulder. “You think you’re going to fail?” Dan laughed weakly, nearly about to start crying again. “It’s not really a question at the moment. I totally bombed that test today.”

“Do you care?” Phil said, quickly clarifying. “Do you care if that hurts your chances of having a career as a lawyer?” Dan pauses, taking a deep breath. “I don’t...I want to be in college. I don’t wanna flunk. But, fuck, if I become a lawyer I think I’m gonna be sad, and miserable, and having a miserable mid-life crisis, fuck-” Phil tugs him closer. “Hon, you don’t have to do law. You can do something else.” “You don’t get it, my parents-” “Dan.” Phil nudged Dan’s side. “Remember, I’m supposed to be an ex-homosexual and a future man of God. My parents expect me to be holy. Literally. I know it's tough. But it’s your life, right?” Dan nodded, rubbing his eyes. “I just...I don’t wanna be aimless.” “Then don’t be. Use the rest of this year to explore what you’re into, and then we can regroup and come up with a plan.”

Dan bit his lip. At first, the thought terrified him, but really after this semester there was only a semester left. Maybe Dan could take that theater class he had heard about...and the idea of not having to do another law seminar didn’t sound too bad…

“Mmm...I suppose I could.” He mumbled, rubbing Phil’s chest absentmindedly. Phil smiled and kissed his nose. “Now. About the religion stuff.” He started, sighing as Dan groaned in embarrassment before continuing on. “Are you really wanting to be Catholic? Like...really?”

“I want to be Catholic with you.” Dan said softly. “I want to share that-that idea of God with you. Because what if, when you-you go to seminary-which I know is a million years away, but still-what if you realize you need to be with another Catholic?”

Dan’s voice broke at the end and Phil cooed, rocking him back and forth gently in his arms. “Daniel, I-I...I don’t even know if I want to be Catholic anymore.” He admitted. As Dan shot his head up, 

“I want to follow God, and be a leader for Him. And I love some of the ways that the Catholic church does. But the idea of trying to be a religious leader for a religion that can’t support me and my relationship...” He took Dan’s hand and laced their fingers together. “Maybe I could check out some more, um, progressive Christian denominations.” 

Dan took in a deep breath, cupping Phil’s cheek with his free hand. “Wow. Just...wow. You see us lasting that long? Even if...I’m sorry, but even if I don’t think I could ever believe in God?” He asks, a bit doubtful. “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law...” Phil began, nuzzling his cheek. “Love worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” At the blank look on Dan’s face Phil laughed. “It means love is the most important thing, out of all the rules and commandments of Christianity. I think you’re a wonderful person who acts with love as much as possible, and I think that’s why I love you, and honors God-whether you call it that or not.”

Dan blushed. “You really think so?”

“Of course. And we can share deeper, spiritual things together, if you want to get close in that way. We can try meditation sometime. Or-Or more midnight talks, you know I love those.” “And what about...getting close, y’know, in that way?” This time it was Phil’s turn to blush, looking down. “I’m not exactly saving myself for marriage anymore.” “Can’t you become a virgin again?” Dan asked, and Phil turned infinitely redder.

“I-yeah? But do I really want to do that? I mean, I did what I did. And I don’t want to be a virgin until I can sign some piece of paper. I-I don’t want to wait that long at all, actually.”

“Oh?” Dan gulps thickly.

“I want to share it with you, because I love you, so much. I’ve never done it with someone I’ve, um, loved before.” He whispered softly. “Only quick, desperate stuff when I was...y’know.”

Dan cooed and cupped his cheeks, kissing him slowly. “I want to share it with you, too, love. We can figure it out later, yeah?” Phil grinned and nodded before leaning into the kiss, Dan giggling a bit. It might sound stupid, but he just felt so good. So light. Like he could just sit here in Phil’s arms forever, and nothing bad could happen. Like-

“Are you two tonguing right now?!” Louise shrieked, and Dan yelped as suddenly Phil was scrambling away, both their faces bright red as they turn to look up and see Louise, Chris, and PJ looking down at them with amused looks. “You totally were!” “Noooo…” Phil whined, burying his face in his hands as Chris snorted out a laugh. 

“Wow, Phil, kinda bummed you didn’t show me this kind of brotherly love.”

 Dan and Phil exchanged small glances, a slow smile spreading across each of their faces. “The soul of Daniel was knit to the soul of Philip.” Dan teased.

“Oh-shush your hush!”

[neverlandparker]

Far From Home, Far From You // [p.p] FFH SPOILERS***

Pairing: stark!reader x peter parker (i don’t specify if she’s related to Tony by blood so it’s completely up to you if you want her/you to be directly related or adopted!)

Word Count: 3.6 k

Warnings: contains ***FFH SPOILERS!*** angst, a few swear words, and mentions of death. (but as always, there’s the fluffy parts too don’t worry, I’m not that mean haha) 

A/N: hey everyone! :) i’m back!! so I watched ffh twice and I loved it even moreeee the second time and I thought I just had to write something based off it. So here is my baby - it was a labor of love - (quoting tom here) i’m so proud of this fic & I hope you love it too! please please please rb and let me know your thoughts whether in the hashtags, comments, or send me an ask! as always, I appreciate every single one of you! thank you from the bottom of my heart!

ps credits!!! I used some of the quotes from the original script of ffh and made references to the book, “The Kissing Hand”. All credits go to ffh script writers and marvel studios & the author of “The Kissing Hand,” Audrey Penn!

- xoxo, Claire ❤

Summary: y/n and peter have been through a hell of a year together - wars, battles, and death - they’ve encountered it all. so when y/n suggests peter should go on that school trip to Europe with his classmates and it doesn’t go as planned, what happens next? also ft cuddly peter and the kissing hand!

...

Rain pattered softly against your bedroom window as you spent the dreary afternoon curled up against Peter’s body which was radiating warmth, cuddled together with a giant blanket on your bed - his arm thrown across your body, pulling you closer to his chest as you listened to the rapid but steady thump thump thump of his heartbeat. His legs were tangled up with yours and he was tracing patterns on your shoulder with one hand - his other was joined with yours in your connected hands - one of the many ways in which he displayed his endless amount of affection for you.

“I really do miss him” you murmured softly to yourself, sighing, looking out of the compound window, as you watched a countless number of rain droplets hit the window and slide downwards, the pitter-patter sound it made somewhat comforting. 

And when Peter stirred, you were slightly startled. You had thought he had dozed off.

He groggily cracked one eye open, and after covering his yawn and rubbing his sleepy-dazed eyes, he looked at you with so much adoration you thought your heart would burst.

“I do too. I miss him too - so much.” more than you know.

“What if - “ he stopped chewing on his lip suddenly nervous, his gaze traveled down to his shirt, fingers finding the hem of it and twirling it around. 

“What if -” but he stopped just as quickly as he had started. 

“What if - what if something goes wrong...w-when I’m not here?” his voice trembled, insecurities getting the better of him, and he sighed, “I’m leaving, Y/N. I’m leaving for Europe in 2 days. I’m leaving - you...god - why did I think this was a good idea?” he buried his head in his hands, and after a few moments, he looked back up, “I-I just don’t think I want to save the world this summer. I know that makes me sound like such a jerk. But I really -” his voice cracked, “I just really need a break. I mean - with everything we’ve all been through, I kinda just wanted to get away. Just away, anywhere, any place, and I guess at that time, Europe seemed to be a good idea. But -” he took a deep breath, “But - but now things are….different. What if something goes wrong or someone gets hurt when I’m not here? What about you - ” he was about to keep rambling on, stuttering, reverting back to his old nervous habits, but you quickly sat up and rubbed your hands comfortingly across his shoulders. 

“Pete. Peter. Look at me. You’re not a jerk for wanting a normal life. I mean - heck - my dad -” a sad smile broke out across your features, “he - he - warned me about this - about the Avenging lifestyle -” you gave a soft chuckle, “Nothing is going to go wrong here, okay? We’ve got it under control. And in the rare case we don’t, we always have backup. It’ll be alright - I promise. With everything that has happened - “ you paused and sighed running your hands through your hair, “I think you deserve a break - you really do. Go have fun in Europe with your friends. It’ll be fun. You’ll be far from home and far from….me...and I’ll miss you - a lot. But you know…..I think….I think it’ll be good - for you.”

He gave you a little nod, head still hung low.

You brought your hands to cup his chin, bringing him to look at you.

“Hey hey hey - Peter - Pete, please don’t worry about me, ’kay? I’ll be alright. I’m always here if you need me. Just one call away.” You pointed to your phone, and paused for a second and then swallowed to continue, “Uh - I want to share this with you - uh,” your voice started wavering again, and you swallowed, “this is something my d-dad - Tony - and I used to do before he went out on his missions.”

...

“Daddy!!!!!!!”

You charged towards him, still half-asleep, morning bed head intact, dragging your blanket behind you, as you made your way down the stairs, two at a time and ran towards where you saw him by the door. 

“Y/N! Sweetheart! What are you doing up?”

He turned around and immediately bent down to wrap you - his adorable five year old daughter - in a giant hug.

Then he heard it. 

He heard your sniffling. 

“Hon - you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Are - a-are you l-leaving?” you managed to get out between sniffles. 

You had hoped he was only busy around the house in the morning but when you saw him by the door, you had panicked and bolted down the stairs to him. 

He sighed. 

Anthony “Tony” Edward Stark liked being Iron Man. He really did. It made him feel powerful, unstoppable, and able to defend himself and the people he loved. It was like his own way of righting his past sins and faults. 

But the part he hated?

He hated leaving you. 

His sweetest little girl - he loved you so much and it killed him to leave your side - even if it was only for a day. 

So knowing some lines from the book - The Kissing Hand - that he had just read to you by your bedside last night, he sighed.

“Y/N sweets, I’m - I’m really sorry but daddy’s going to be leaving for a while...but I’ll come back sooner than you know it - okay? Always. Time is going to go by so fast, you’ll never even notice I’m gone.” 

You let out a little laugh between your sniffles and he smiled a bit. 

He took your little hand in his and turned the palm side up and placed a gentle kiss in the center. 

“Daddy is going to teach you a trick to help remember me okay? Just do this when I’m not around and you’ll feel me be with you okay? I’m always with you even when I’m far away. Always with you... right….here.” he poked your chest and you giggled.

“Hey! I’m ticklish!”

“Whenever you feel alone, anxious, hurt, or far from home, just press your hand to your cheek and think of me. Sometimes and someday, you’ll be far from me, and when that day comes sweets, you will remember me, okay?”

You pressed your hand to your cheek and closed your eyes. 

“I love you 3000 daddy”

“I love you more munchkin.”

…

“So Peter...whenever you feel alone, anxious, hurt, far from home, just press your hand to your cheek and think of me. And when you’ll be far from me, when that day comes, you’ll remember me.”

You kissed the palm of Peter’s hand and brought it up to his cheek. He leaned into your touch as he sighed, bringing his hand up to cheek, putting it on top of yours. 

He loved the feeling of your hand in his. 

He smiled, and tilted his head to place a quick peck on your hand that was cupping his around his cheek as you giggled. 

“Now you’ll have something to remember me by too.” he smiled. 

“Always.” you said softly as you brought your hand - still warm from Peter’s touch - to your cheek, letting your eyes drift shut, as you felt an uncontrollable smile tug at your lips.  

...

Peter limped towards the descending jet in the tulip fields, the force of the powerful engine jets sending colorful petals of flowers flying wildly about in all directions. Normally, he would have taken this moment to admire the way the flowers swayed and billowed against the wind, taking note that it was a lovely sight that he would want to someday share with you - his pretty girl.

He shook his head, blinking back tears that threatened to spill. 

How could he have trusted him?

How could he have been this stupid?

And when the door of the private jet flew open and he saw Happy’s concerned face as he met his gaze. He felt his whole being tense up. His first instinct was to run toward him - so fucking glad there was someone who he really knew. Who he trusted.

But to trust his senses? 

Honestly he didn’t know if he could even trust himself right now.

Not anymore.

Looking at the man who so much reminded him of his mentor, he felt suffocated, heartbeat pumping all to fast, senses dialed to eleven, every single hair on his body stood on end. And worst of all, he felt like there was a hand around his heart, squeezing, squeezing, squeezing until it became near impossible to bear anymore.

His regrets weighed down upon him and by the time he realized that happy was calling out to him across the field, he shook his head to clear the feeling and made his way over but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you. 

You. 

You came.

And Peter - god - Peter wanted nothing more than to run into your arms. To be able to feel your comfort again, to embrace you in a big hug, to press kisses to your forehead and nose, and be able to tell you that was everything was alright, but how could he when he had messed up so so bad? 

Especially not before…not before making 110% sure it wasn’t another trap - wasn’t another one of Mysterio's sinister plans. 

He couldn’t bear to see you hurt or taken from him. It was his worst fear.  

Were you real? 

Was this real? 

What was real?

He didn’t think he knew what real was anymore. 

Not after that.

Not after what Mysterio had shown him what he had. The illusion he had been so naive to so easily fall into would continue to haunt the rest of life, an unforgettable memory in the worst possibly imagined way. He had been shown being attacked by clones of himself, being trapped inside a snowglobe with no way to escape, and ….. god - Tony - Tony Stark, crawling out of his grave, with iron suit and all, and Mysterio told him that if only he had been good enough, Tony would still be here.

He would still be here... if only he had been good enough. 

Those same words rang in his head again, taunting him, as he screwed his eyes shut, shaking his head from side to side, desperately willing, begging, pleading it to go away. 

Upon making eye contact with Peter as you scanned the field, you felt relieved, but choked up when you saw the condition he was in. Covered in dirt, grime and blood, his face was severely battered, nose and jawline littered with bruises, cuts, and open wounds. You clasped a hand over your mouth, stifling a sob as you pushed past Happy and ran full force towards him. 

However, when you reached just within arms reach, just as you were about to engulf him in a tight hug, his eyes widened and he took several large retreating steps back, eyes darting between you and Happy as if he didn’t recognize you more than mere strangers. You felt a dagger of pain straight to your heart as you realized the shaken and vulnerable state he was in. 

What the hell did this guy do to him?

“Please -” Peter pleads, “Prove to me you’re real. Tell me something only you would know.”

You and Happy share a look, both knowing things you don’t want the other to know but you currently didn’t have much of a choice. You decide to go first. 

“Remember the kissing hand?” you say in a gentle tone and you can see Peter’s expression relax and soften as he met your gaze. 

Whenever you feel alone, anxious, hurt, or far from home, just press your hand to your cheek and think of me. And when you’ll be far from me, when that day comes, you will remember me.

You’re real. You’re real. You’re REAL.

“Remember when we went to Germany? You paid per view a video in your room. They didn’t list the titles but I could tell by the price it was an adult film at the front desk. And you know how I knew –”

“Okay okay fine! It’s you, it’s you, stop!” Peter yells as you stare between Happy and Peter, confused. 

“You’re real!” he lets out in an exhausted sigh and hurriedly limps over. 

And he finally lets himself fall into you, fall into your embrace, let himself be surrounded by the comforting scent of your shampoo.

His eyes turn teary as he flexes his arms, bringing you even closer, both arms wrapped securely around you so tightly. 

You were aware of his super strength had the ability to do some serious damage but he was always the most utmost gentle with you, treating you with so much care you thought you would sometimes just melt in his hands. 

But right now, he needed to. make. sure. To make sure. To make sure the an illusion could not possibly recreate you. Recreate this. He needed to know that you were real. And that you were. 

You’re real. Not fake. No illusions. Real. Real. REAL. 

No depth of any illusion could make you - well, you. Truly you. 

He had realized it was so different being not only so far from home, but so far from you. You were his home and nothing - nothing - could ever recreate that. 

With that, as if realizing that his grip was almost suffocating, he quickly loosened his grip, mumbling a “so sorry,” not quite letting go, but not as tight as he had been squeezing you in the crushing hug as he had before. 

…

Once Peter got on the jet, he almost sagged with relief. You and Happy immediately got to work, tracking coordinates - anything, to locate Mysterio as well as sitting Peter down and cleaning up his wounds. He sucked in a sharp breath as you unzipped his suit, only then truly realizing the extent of his injuries. He was thankful for your gentle touch as you successfully managed to bandage up his ribs and tended to his wounds with a few grunts and low curses as he mentioned he was hit by a train. It made your heart shatter, seeing him in this broken state, so battered and crestfallen. Happy took over with stitching Peter’s several back injuries up as you came to sit in front of him, silently observing him, heart aching at the sight. 

He always tries to do the right thing and that’s what mattered...why did it always have to be him?

He gives so much and gets back so little. He is too good for this world. In fact, he deserves the world. Heck, the world doesn’t even deserve him. 

You snapped out of your thoughts, hearing Peter’s distressed grunts as you looked up seeing that Happy was still in the process of stitching him up. 

“Just relax.” Happy says, his brows pinched, trying to concentrate on the stitches.

“Don’t tell me to relax!” Peter snaps, reaching his breaking point, his voice filled with angst before he stood up, “How can I relax when I messed up so bad? I trusted Beck, right? I thought he was my friend, so I gave him the only thing that Mr. Stark left behind for me, and now he’s going to kill my friends and half of Europe. So please - do not tell me to relax!”

“I’m sorry - I shouldn’t have shouted…” he takes a shaky inhale, “I’m sorry - I’m s-sorry I didn’t mean to” he sighs, “I didn’t mean to yell.” he sighs, hanging his head, defeated, “I just - I just really miss him. Everywhere I go I see his face. And the whole world is asking who is going to be the next Iron Man? I don’t know if that’s me, Happy. I’m not Iron Man.”

“You’re not Iron Man. You’re never going to be Iron Man. Nobody could live up to Tony. Not even Tony. Tony was my best friend, and he was a mess. He second-guessed everything he did. He was all over the place. The one thing that he did that he didn’t second-guess was picking you. I don’t think Tony would’ve done what he did if he didn’t know that you were going to be here after he was gone.”

Peter pinched his nose, nodded, and placed his head in his hands.

“I just really miss him - and and-d nothing can ever bring him back.” his voice was barely above a hushed whisper, raw with emotion, and you felt the pulling of your heartstrings as your lip trembled and tears clouded your vision. 

“I miss him too - everyday - so so much it hurts” and by that time you realized that tears were streaming down your cheeks, your knees were threatening to give out, “he’s never...oh god - he’s never coming back” 

“Y/N….I - I don’t know what to say….I’m sorry - I’m s-so so sorry” and just like that,

Both you and Peter collided into each other gripping each other in a tight embrace willing for all the bad things to go away, sinking to the floor - the both of your bodies racked with sobs, chests heaving, crying over what was lost.

It felt as if it was only now, the full weight of your dad’s death hit you and it slapped you both in the face and hurt like no other. It hurt like hell. 

For Peter, he had lost a mentor that was almost his second family, the only one who got his brilliant mind, genius jokes, and hero work, and you, a father, one whose connection with you ran so deeply it split your heart in two to witness the agony that was his death. And now Peter was in your arms, mere hours after being hit with a freaking train and barely hanging on, so so broken and you felt yourself being filled with despair. It felt like another knife had been driven straight into your heart. Straight through your very own soul.

“Y/N, everyone is telling me to step up to tell me to fit in his shoes but I …” his voice cracks, “I just can’t - I can’t” Peter buries his head in his hands again, eyes shut tightly, willing this to all be some kind of horrible awful nightmare. He takes a shaky exhale, “I can’t do this - I can’t be him”

“No Peter. Look at me,” you gently cupped his face in your hands, ”Listen. The world needs doesn’t need the next Iron Man. You know what it needs? It needs you. They need you. You’ll never be the next Iron Man - no one can - but it’s because you’re better than him. I think -” you had to stop yourself from letting out another choked sob, “- No, I know - I know for sure that h-he would be proud of you.”  

You wiped away the tears that were now dripping rapidly down your cheeks, 

“He would be so proud. So so proud” you whispered, voice trembling. 

At last, the broken boy looked up, revealing his watery, red-rimmed eyes. 

“How can I fix things when I already s-screwed them up so bad?”

“You fight.” you utter through trembling lips and watery eyes. 

“How?” he breathed, his breath raged from crying. 

“You get back up. Like you’ve done over and over again. Like you did against that mad titan and some of the most evil beings in the universe.”

After a moment of silence filled with sniffles, Peter looked up.  

“Thank you” he said hoarsely.

A watery smile broke out across your features, your gaze on him loving as you fought back a sob.

You were so proud. So so proud of him. 

“Kissing hand?” he prompted, with a look that said it all.

You just gave him a watery smile, nodded, and held out your hand, unable to open your mouth or make out words because you were afraid that if you did, you would end up in tears all over again. 

He took your hand in his as he did your “kissing hand,” that you and Peter had come with a few days ago before he left - with him bringing your connected hands up to his cheek, looking at you with that heart-eyed gaze before tilting his jaw to give your hand a kiss. 

Whenever you feel alone, anxious, hurt, or far from home, just press your hand to your cheek and think of me. And when you’ll be far from me, when that day comes, you will remember me.

He never failed to make butterflies erupt in your stomach, as a light blush dusted your cheeks, your gaze meeting his. You smiled - a lovey dopey smile - as you watched him suck in a deep breath,

“I’m going to kick his ass.”

And this time, he looked to you with a new gaze with fiery determination and the look he gave you conveyed everything you needed to know in that moment. 

Your chest swelled with pride and admiration for him as you witnessed Peter Parker - the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man from Queens with a heart of gold get back up once again - facing the inevitable, but never once daring to back down from a challenge.

Whenever you feel far from home, just press your hand to your cheek and think of me. And when that day comes, when you’ll be far from home, far from me,  you will remember me. I’ll always be with you - even when I’m not right there, right here, right now, by your side. I want you to know that I love you so so much. I love you 3000. 

…

A/N: wow!! thank you thank you thank you for reading!! please! please let me know your thoughts - I love to hear them! I love you all, thank you for your endless support <3 

tagging some wonderful people (as always, a huge thank you to YOU!❤): @acciopeter @akaspiderman @badhollandfluff @blackberrywidow @blushypetey  @coffee-and-hollands @darlingtaurus @flowercrownparker @hawkinsholland @holland-peters @hollandsosterfield @h-osterfield @iloveyouironman @i-am-steve-rogerss @lavenderholland @lostinspidey @marveley @marvellousparkerpeter @marvelplease @marvelsswansong @mcuspidey @mysteryavengers @obsiidio @parkeret  @parkerprotectionprogram @peterparklr @petersbackpack @peterstrainingwheels @playboyparker @plushparker @poetrypeter   @rachramblesstuff @retroparkers @scarlettspidey @screamholland @sergeanttpoliteness @sparklyp-parker @spideypeach @spidey-caps  @spxderbarnes @sunshinehollandd @thisbitchemptylove @thotsterfield @tomshufflepuff  @twilightparker @uglypastels @underoos-shield @uwu-peter-parker-uwu @heavenllywrites

...

[petri808]

Request NaLu Natsu cheated on lucy and now he is trying to win her back but she refuses and leaves him and 5 years layer they meet again and get together

Here you go, I hope you like it :)  it worked well for the Day 5 Nalu Week prompt too.  

PS, If anyone is waiting on an Ask request from me, I’m working through them as soon as I can :)     

Pilot Episode, Take Two

@nalu-week Day 5 Trial prompt.  

“Are you fucking kidding me!”  

“L-Lucy, I can explain!”

“We’re done Natsu…”

When she opens her eyes again, the professor was still rambling on about expository writing. She rolls her eyes and stretches her legs under the desk.  This class was such a bore, but it was a requirement for the Journalism degree. Lucy sighs, and props her head up. Why had she been day dreaming about him again?  It’s been almost five years since they’d broken up and while he’d tried to win her back during their remaining months of high school, once they graduated, she’d moved on to college in Crocus and never looked back.  Heck, the only commonality was senior year, shewas now in her senior year of college that is.  

The droning voice of the teacher made it easy for her mind to wander away, back to that final year of school.  First, Natsu had tried the ‘it wasn’t my fault, she kissed me excuse.’  Yeah, she didn’t believe him considering his hand was… let’s just say underthe fabric of the girl’s top.  Then it became the ‘you’re the only girl I’ve loved’line.  Mmhmm, if he loved her so much, he wouldn’t be making out with another girl.  He tried sweet talking, sending her gifts, phone calls and text messages… oh god, the text messages.  She had to hand it to him, Natsu tried really hard to get a second chance, but Lucy hadn’t been ready to forgive and forget.      

There were moments that she almost caved into his pleas because the truth was…  She loved him.  But maybe that’s what hurt her the most and why she just couldn’t open her heart back up to him so soon.  Oh, well, it was ancient history and in less than two months she would be graduating with her degree and moving onto the next stage of her journey.

‘Congratulations Lucy! I knew you could do it <3’

Her cell had been blowing up all afternoon with calls or messages from friends and family wishing her well about graduating, but as she stared at this message, Lucy was dumbfounded. She didn’t recognize the number except that it had a Magnolia area code.  

‘Thanks!  UwU.  Who is this btw?’

‘Just an old friend from hs.’

Well that didn’t narrow anything down.  Lucy had been fairly popular in high school, so the culprit of the cryptic message came from a long list of suspects.  She nibbles at her bottom lip, should she push for an answer or just let it go?  

‘What ur name?’

But no answer ever came. Oh, Well.  With all the parties, packing, and moving from the dorms, Lucy forgets all about the encounter, the message being pushed lower and lower as other’s come through.  Thanks to an internship position her junior year, she’d even landed a job at Sorcerer’s Weekly here in Crocus, effective immediately.  It was a great opportunity and place to start her career.

“Welcome, welcome, welcome!” Lucy’s editor shakes her hand.  “It’s so cool I get to work with you again!”

“Thank you,” she blushes. “I’m very excited to learn all I can from you Jason.”

“Oh, I don’t know, seems you’ve already got the inside track down,” he points to her desk.  “Someone is happy you’re here.  Wish I got flowers,” he chuckles.

Lucy looks at the cubicle and sees a large bouquet of red roses sitting on it.  “Who sent that?”  Jason just shrugs his shoulders.  She walks over with him in tow and finds the card, but all it says is ‘congrats on the new job Lucy’ with no sender given.  

“You’ve also been requested. It’s a really cool one too!!  We’ve been trying to line up an interview with them for months and they’ve told us no until now.  The lead singer asked for you by name.”

“Huh?”  Lucy is confused.  “But I don’t even know any singers.”

“Well he knows you,” Jason winks.

“W-Wait, who is he??”

“As part of the deal for the interview, we’re not supposed to tell you.  He wants to surprise you.  Oooh!”  Jason bounces from foot to foot in excitement.  “I wish I could be there to see it!”

“You’re not coming, I-I have to do my first interview alone?”

“You’ll be fine,” he claps her on the back, “and besides, you did good as an intern, so I know you’ll know what to do.  They’re out of town till next month, the date is written on your calendar.  Get settled in today and we’ll start tomorrow on your training.”

After Jason leaves, Lucy plops onto her chair.  Wow, that had been a rollercoaster!  Monday morning, first day on the job, flowers on her desk, and an interview already lined up. Had she won the lottery?  The date for the interview was three weeks away. Normally, Lucy wanted to know who she will be talking to, get some research in, and that way she’s prepared. She groans, this could turn out really good, or really bad.

Lucy picks up the card again to analyze it and the strangest feeling washes over her.  It reminded her of that text message she received two weeks ago.  She sits back, tapping the card on her chin.  Could it be the same person?  She pulls out her phone and scrolls down to look at it.  The verbiage wasn’t exactlythe same, but the creepy feeling had settled over her, that blaring alarm bell ringing and pointing towards a relationship.

‘Did you send me flowers?’  

‘Yes, did you like it?’

‘It’s very sweet of you, but it’s a little weird not knowing who you are.’

‘…… just think of it as me making amends.  Gotta run now.’

“Oh, no you don’t!”  She’s about to respond when one more message comes through.

‘I’m really glad you made your childhood dream come true Lucy.’

‘Please tell me who you are?!’

And just like the last time, the responses end.  “Ugh!” She drops her phone on the desk.  It was really irritating not knowing who the hell this secret benefactor was, but at least there were clues this time.  They knew about her goal from a young age and ‘Make amends…’  But who needed to make amends?  One blaring choice popped into her mind, but she hadn’t heard from himin years and didn’t think he even knew where she was.  Hopefully she’ll learn who this mystery person is some day.  

Over the next weeks, Lucy trains each day with Jason on the ins and outs of working for a magazine.  Their primary job was doing the interviews, but they worked closely with each of the different departments that puts the whole thing together from the photographers, writers, to the layout designer.  It was tiresome trying to learn so much, but she was having a blast doing it.  

Her anonymous benefactor hadn’t disappeared either.  At first Lucy was annoyed with this person’s seemingly intimate knowledge of her life, but as time progressed, she had to admit each act or gesture was endearing even when she didn’t completely understand what it meant.  From quotes or poems, she once loved to be being sent cute clothes in styles and colors she favored.  The things this person sent her never missed the mark!  They were spoiling her in such a charming manner, and it was driving her heart crazy.  

A knock at her door nearing 10pm, startles Lucy out of the zone she was in late one Saturday evening. “Pizza delivery.”  She hears from the other side.

She didn’t order any pizza. Cautiously, and leaving the chain on, she cracks opens the door, “That can’t be mine…”

“Internet order for Lucy Heartfilia, one medium pineapple pepperoni pizza and a bottle of diet Coke.”  The boy chuckles, “gotta say it’s an odd combo but well it’s already paid for ma’am so you might as well take it.”

Lucy blinks, it’s exactly what she would order, had she been the one who’d placed it.  “Alright.”  She accepts the delivery and puts it on her coffee table with an exasperated sigh. Oh, this had to be the myserious person.

‘Pizza at 10pm?!’

‘Guessed you still write late at night.  You tend to forget to eat when you do.’

She balks and stares at the response.  It was true and all but, ‘look thank you, I appreciate it but you are driving me crazy with this whole secrecy thing!’

‘I promise to reveal myself soon.  Sweet dreams Lucy <3’

On the morning of the interview, she’d shown up to work and to another ‘gift’ waiting on her desk.  Delivered directly by the jewelry store, it was a small gift box containing a charm bracelet.  Of all the presents, this was by far the most expensive to date.  Jason was freaking out just as much as Lucy was over her luck.  Each charm represented something truly special to her.  Ballet slippers from her youth, star is a love she shared with her mother, white dog marked her first pet, pen for a dream of writing, pink heart was her favorite color, but the sixth charm made her heart stop.  A flame.

“No…” she breathes out. “It can’t be.”

“What is it?!”  Jason bounces next to her unable to contain his excitement. “Spill it!”

“M-My ex…. I-I think it’s from my high school boyfriend.”

Jason’s eyes widen.  “Cool!!!  You should wear that to your interview, it’ll look good on you!”

“N-No, I-I can’t,” Lucy shuts the box and slips it into her purse.  She gathers her recorder, pad and pen, “I better get going, the car is waiting to take me to the interview now.”  Then takes off out of the office before Jason could say anything more.

During the whole car ride to the recording studio where the interview would take place, Lucy couldn’t get her heartrate to slow down.  Over and over she replayed all the anonymous contacts they’d had since graduation night.  The clues had all been there, but she’d never let herself believe it.  Five years…. Five years!  Why was he back now?!  And why was she so flustered?!  Ugh! She couldn’t go into this interview with her mind racing like this!  

“We’re here,” the driver breaks her out of her inner rant.  

“Oh,” Lucy looks up at the building.  “Thank you.”

She gets out of the car and a studio personnel takes her straight to a conference type room, explaining along the way that she’ll be interviewing the lead singer of an up and coming band.  The employee asks her to please wait there in the room, he’ll be there shortly.  Lucy fidgets in her seat.  ‘Calm down, calm down,’she chants with her eyes closed, ‘get through the interview, go home and scream…’

The door opens.  Lucy looks up and the person that greets her was the one person she didn’t know if she wanted to see.  

“Natsu…”  She jumps up from her seat as he comes closer.

“Hey Lucy,” he nervously cups the back of his neck.  “Sorry for the…”      

“It was you!” she punches his chest.  “All this time!  All this time…” she hits him over and over as all of the pent-up emotions she’d been feeling erupts, and tears stream down her cheeks.  “Why?!” Lucy finally stops and slumps against his chest sobbing hysterically.

Natsu had expected a harsh reaction, knowing Lucy’d received the bracelet that morning and it gave too pointed of a clue for her not to realize its sender.  He says nothing and simply wraps his arms around her, just letting the woman release everything she’s been holding in for probably the last five years. As her sobs slow, he cradles her head gently against his chest, rubbing small circles along her back.  He buries his nose in her hair, oh, how he’s missed her scent, and kisses her crown.

“I’ve missed you so much Lucy.”  When her only response is a sniffle, Natsu continues.  “I was an idiot in high school to have lost you and these last five years have been empty because of it.  So, I had my manager help me track you down and that’s how I knew about graduation, your new job, and stuff.”

Her voice is soft, and the anger had dissipated from her tone.  “Why didn’t you just tell me it was you?”

“I didn’t know if you would answer if you knew it was me.  I gave up winning you back once when I was too dumb to realize…” he lifts her chin, “so this time I wanted to show you how much I still love you.”

“You do?”

He nods his head, eyes crinkling when he smiles and gazes back at her.  Natsu smooths a thumb over her cheek, “you are still so beautiful Lucy…”

She averts her eyes. It was all so much to take at once. Not only was her ex the anonymous person but finding out he’s a singer in a band that was growing in popularity. How would she know that this was real and that one day some groupie wouldn’t come along, and she’d catch him cheating again?  

Lucy sucks in the corner of her lip as she processes the situation, but Natsu knows that tell instantly. “Lucy, I swear on my mother I will never hurt you like that again.”

“You can’t make a promise like that.”

“Why can’t I?  The fact I haven’t had a girlfriend since you left me should tell you something.  I know now, I don’t want anyone else but you.  And if you still don’t believe me, just ask Gray yourself, he’s still my best friend and knows everything I’ve done this whole this time.”  Natsu takes her hand, “please just give me a second chance Lucy.”

She was so torn.  A part of her still loved him too, and she wanted to believe this could work…

“Okay.”

“Really,” his eyes brighten, “you’ll be my girlfriend again?!”

Damn it his grin was still irresistible!  “Yes,” she exhales and squeezes his hand back, “I’ll be your girlfriend again. But so, help me Natsu if you screw around this time, I will cut something off!”

“Oof,” that sent a phantom pain to his groin, but he couldn’t blame her for the comment.  “You won’t regret it, I swear it.”

Lucy nods and stands up straight, recollecting her thoughts.  “Now that that’s settled, am I still doing an interview or was that just to set up this meeting?”

“Oh!  Right!” Natsu chuckles, “that’s real.”  He grabs her hand and pulls her towards the door, “I’ll introduce you to the rest of the band first…”  

[brycecortez]

After Prison Break | Rhodez

when: june 29th, 2020

where: the red door, the beach house

trigger warnings: mentions of prison, mentions of the foster care system, mentions of prostitution

nb: after amber-jade came back from visiting her father in prison, she immediately finds her way to the bar. and as if it was fate, bryce finds her and saves her from what could’ve very much lead to a dangerous and bad situation. bryce makes sure she gets home safely and stays the night with her, especially after she confides in him about what really happened to her in new york after ollie left the group home.

@amberjade-rhodes

Amber had gotten back from Connecticut a few hours ago and after assuring Ollie that she would be fine, she headed straight to The Red Door to drink until she forgot about her prison visit. By the time she had downed her fifth or sixth drink, the guy sitting next to her had started to get a little too friendly but she certainly didn’t have her wits about her; at least not to her usual standards. As he rested his hand on her thigh, she half heartedly tried to push him away but the alcohol coursing through her system and her complete exhaustion from the last couple of days made the gesture rather ineffective. Dimly, she was aware that she had gotten herself into a bad situation but with her brain shutting down, she couldn’t exactly plan for her usual escape route.

Bryce had been out drinking with some of the guys from the football field, going to a different bar that wasn't Mars Bar, one that was a bit more classier than the typical college bar. He had been a few drinks in when he recognized a familiar redhead, one he could recognize from anywhere - right across the bar. It was evident that the girl was drunk, and Bryce's stomach immediately turned as he spotted another male trying to take advantage. Excusing himself for the rest of the night before walking over to the girl. "Amber-Jade?" he asked, basically announcing himself as he stepped up to the redhead. "You can go now, I got it from here. I'll make sure she gets home safe." he spoke to the other male, his eyes growing dark with anger as his voice made it very evident he knew the others intentions were. "Hey, beautiful girl. Let's get you home, yeah?" he offered out his hand for the other to take, giving her a small smile."

Amber smiled widely when Bryce approached her, not having realized that he was also in the bar tonight and happy to see him. "Bryce! It's so good to see you, I think this guy is trying to get me to take him home, which is ridiculous because I can't even remember where I live right now", Amber laughed, rolling her eyes at the strange man sitting beside her; as if he was just a foolish idiot as opposed to someone that was trying to take advantage of her current state. "You remember where I live? What a hero! Just don't tell Ollie that I was here, okay? We just got back from seeing my father and I promised him that I was fine so he's going to flip if he realizes that I dropped my bags at home and then came to the nearest bar", she rambled as she took Bryce's hand.

Bryce's eyes darted back and forth between Amber and the other male. His gaze was cold, but not towards her. He didn't even want to begin to think about what could've happened to her if he hadn't been there; the thought sickened him, and for some reason he felt the need to go into protective mode. He broke his gaze when he felt the redhead taking his hand, his eyes officially looking down at the female. "I don't think I could possibly keep any more lies from Ollie. I'm already in deep shit with him and Lola as it is." he said with a soft chuckle. With his hand in hers, he stood her up, dropping her hand just so he could use both of his to hold onto her in case if he needed to steady her. "Let's get you home, babe. There's too many people here anyways."

After Bryce’s arrival and insistence that he would be the one taking her home, the man that had been sitting next to her quickly scarpered; leaving her alone with Bryce. “She’s not mad at you, you know that right? Lola, I mean. She didn’t give me all the details because that’s between the two of you but she appreciated the closure and just misses her best friend”, she said honestly, the alcohol loosening her tongue enough to try and give Bryce some sort of peace of mind. “Can you please at least downplay it? He’ll feel so guilty for just leaving me at the beach house, even though I promised I was fine, and I don’t want him to feel guilty. He’s one of the best people I know”, she rambled. She pouted slightly when he took his hand back but it was probably for the best as it helped stabilise her when she wobbled on her feet. “You’re a regular knight in shining whatever; let’s go home, you valiant hero”.

Bryce had been lost in his own thoughts for a brief moment. He just didn't understand how he could grown to adore someone this quickly. Hearing her speak about Lola immediately snapped him out of his thoughts. "W-what?" he said in a stutter, reorienting himself for a quick moment before responding once more. "Lola's never mad at me, at least not as much as she has the right to be. I know that we're okay, it's Ollie that I'm worried about." he simply stated, shrugging it off right then and there. He didn't really want to talk about it, especially when the other had been drunk off her ass. "Yeah, he's pretty great. Could've came out a lot worse, that's for damn sure." he simply stated, giving the redhead a small smile. It was obvious that she was close to the other male, and that she obviously adored the hell out of him. "I'm far from being a knight in shining...whatever." he laughed. "Are you going to be okay to walk, or should I carry you to the car?"

Amber worried that she had misspoken based on his stuttering response but he gathered himself just a second later. "She's a pretty forgiving person, which is surprising after everything that she's been through. I'm certainly not that forgiving", Amber admitted. "Have you tried talking to Ollie? He may need a little time but I've heard the way he talks about you, you're someone important to him", she added. "We don't need to talk about this, though. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't worried u-unnecessarily", she explained, stumbling slightly over the big word. "We were in care together, he got a second chance and I didn't. The couple of years after he moved away and I stayed in that group home really fucked me up, more than I was already fucked up. I'm glad that he got that chance but sometimes I wonder why I wasn't as lucky". She was truly lacking a verbal filter right now, as evidenced by everything she was telling him. "You're definitely a knight right now, it's pretty hot. I can walk but now that I know you're capable of carrying me, we'll be trying that in the future".

"Neither am I. She's pretty remarkable. They both are." Bryce stated, thinking out loud. "Not yet, I don't know how to face him. It's crazy because part of me is kind of envious of him. We were both the fucked up football players in high school, the guys that simply just fucked around and got in trouble. He was always a good person, but he was fucked up. And then he came here, and he grew and he got better. I guess a part of me is envious of that because I'm still stuck in that fucked up phase." he confided, although he immediately felt vulnerable and shook his head. "Why am I even talking about this with you? You're drunk off your ass right now." he teased lightly, laughing softly to show that there had been no heat behind his words; his laughter followed by another small chuckle in response to how cute he found her slight stutter to be. "He talked about you a lot, you know. He never said a name, but he always referred to the one girl from the group home that made life worth living, the one that saved him. Don't tell him I told you this, but he once told me years ago that if never left the group home you probably would've been the person he ended up with...but I'm hoping you're way too drunk to remember this entire conversation." It seemed as though he was also lacking a verbal filter that evening, although he didn't have anything he could blame it on. Again, he only hoped that she wouldn't remember much of this conversation. "You just let me know, babe, I will carry you whenever and wherever." Once he was confident that she was stable and able to walk, Bryce grabbed her head and led the redhead out of the bar and towards the uber that had been waiting outside, one that he sneakily requested on his phone as she was talking. He gave the uber driver a quick hello as he opened up the door, allowing Amber-Jade to get into the car before he did.

“I still think it’s crazy that we’re all so closely connected and have ended up here at the same time. It’s like six degrees of separation with the four of us, almost like we were destined to be in each other’s lives”, Amber shared her thoughts with her. “I get that, I’m pretty envious of him too. He still thinks he’s fucked up but honestly, he’s grown so much and he’s got such a bright future ahead of him. Sometimes I worry that I’ve only gotten worse since he was last in my life and I really don’t want to screw him up again”, she confided in Bryce, genuinely feeling like he understood her. “This will probably make me sound crazy but one of the reasons why I feel drawn to you is because you aren’t perfect... I get this feeling that I could tell you anything and you’d understand and you wouldn’t judge me”. She laughed at his next comment, playfully nudging him. “Maybe it feels safer to tell me because I’m drunk. I’m also pretty damn good at keeping secrets, which means that I’ll never tell another living soul anything that you just said”. Her cheeks flushed slightly when Bryce spoke more about her relationship with Ollie. “He was the first person that I ever loved. I’ve never told anyone that before. Sometimes I wish that we had given things a shot but most of the time I’m relieved that we didn’t. I think I would have destroyed him. I certainly wouldn’t have made him as happy as he is with Lola. I probably would have sabotaged it all and lost him as a friend. I think.... I think it’s safer that I’m just a “what if” in his life rather than a relationship that we tried and failed”, she tried her best to explain. “I’m definitely going to make you carry me to the bedroom next time we fool around” she laughed, leaning slightly into him as they made their way over to the Uber. She said hi to the driver as she got in, smiling warmly at Bryce when he joined her in the backseat.

“It’s actually really nice to think about, but also crazy to know just how small this world is. There could’ve easily been a universe where Ollie and Lola first, and you and I met first. But I’m kinda liking how everything played out...but I’m also pretty shocked we have resorted to having some crazy foursome.” Bryce spoke, the last part of his statement only coming out half-jokingly. “Amber-Jade, I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. It’s obvious that he absolutely adores you, in a friendly way obviously. You not being in his life is what can ruin him.” He assured. It was actually nice knowing that both Amber and Ollie had someone in their life who was practically family, each other. “Judgement free zone here. I may be fucked up, but I’d like to think I’m a decent listener.” He said half-jokingly, his smile growing as he spoke to the redhead. The male nodded his head as the other spoke about being Ollie’s what if, and in that moment he could totally relate. “I get it. It’s the same with me and Lola, honestly. I was completely in love with that girl, but I would’ve destroyed her if I ever took that step with her. Some people just aren’t meant to be, but those two are. I’m already picking out gifts for their wedding.” Again, Bryce laughed softly at his own comment. It was nice having someone like Amber to talk to, someone he could genuinely relate with on a more personally level, making their conversations far from being the typical superficial ones. He laughed along with her at her comment, making a mental note to literally sweep her off of her feet the next time he was with her, a time where she would probably be least expecting it. Getting into the uber, Bryce immediately leaned over and put on the girls seatbelt; he always hated and was always untrusting of Uber’s. He engaged in small talk with the driver as they made their way across town and before he knew it, the driver had been pulling up in front of the beach house. Luckily Rebekah’s car wasn’t in the driveway, meaning that she hadn’t been home. Thanking the driver, he leaned over and pressed the button to release Amber’s seatbelt before stepping out of the car, offering his hands to her when it was her turn to get out. “Time to get you to bed.” He chuckled softly as the driver pulled away.

"It really is crazy, we've all had such an impact on each other's lives but we didn't all meet until we ended up at MU at the same time. It sounds like the plot of a TV show, actually... although if it was a TV show, you and I would have definitely met in NYC and it would end with that crazy foursome", Amber-Jade laughed. "Thank you for saying that, it means a lot to me. I just... I feel like a bad friend sometimes. He's so guilty at having left me alone in that group home even though it was the right thing for him to do and I hate seeing that guilt. I... I've kept things to myself, things that I really should have told him, because I don't want to make him feel more guilty", she explained, feeling like Bryce would understand. "What's the most fucked up thing that you've done?" she asked softly. It sounded like she was prying for information but honestly, she was subtly feeling him out; trying to determine whether she could finally open up to someone about the worst things that she had ever done before those secrets ate her alive. "We were an important chapter for both of them but not the last chapter and that's okay. I've already called dibs on being Ollie's best man, though, so you'll need to find a different position in either the bridal party or groomsmen", she grinned. She smiled softly when he leaned over and buckled up her seatbelt, touched by the gesture, and just listened as Bryce and the Uber driver made small talk. It didn't take long for them to reach the beach house, Bryce undoing her seatbelt and helping her out of the car. "Spoken like a true knight in shining whatever".

Bryce simply just laughed at her interpretation of what seemed to be such a small world. "The world has a very weird way of sorting things out, that's for damn sure. Can't complain though, lead me to you after all." He said, his smile still remaining as he spoke to the redhead. "Between you and I, I think Ollie felt lonely in his foster home. His foster parents are amazing people, don't get me wrong - but I think they bit off more than they could chew. He was seventeen when he got there and was the oldest out of six kids, so he didn't get much attention - I think that's he acted so fucking much. We were literally each other's worst influences." Bryce couldn't help but to chuckle at the distant memory, suddenly missing his friend like crazy. "Listen, I'm not going to pressure you into telling him something you don't want to tell him, but I can tell you first hand that he's the guy you can call in a crisis. He carries a lot of guilt and basically the whole world on his shoulders, but he's damn good in a crisis, and he's loyal. I should fucking hate him for what he did to my sister, but I can't because when it came down to it, he was there for her more than me and my entire family was when it really mattered. I'm sure he's holding on to secrets that he's never told you, or anyone, so he'll understand if you decide to not tell him. And honestly, some things are better to be kept a secret than to be spoken out loud." he explained, completely understanding where she was coming from. Bryce also held onto things that even his greatest, most trustworthy friends didn't even know. He grew silent at her question, truly debating what he should say, or if he should say anything at all. Taking a moment to think about it, he sighed before speaking. "I don't think you want to know that." He easily assumed, his sentence coming out as a mere warning that he wasn't the best person around - far from it actually. "Damn, I can't believe you literally just ripped that title away from me. I didn't even know I had to fight for it! But you would look hot in a tux, so I guess I won't complain too much." He chuckled. He smiled at her comment before playfully rolling her eyes at her, knowing she was very much too drunk if she had viewed him so highly. Bryce leaned forward to grab the keys from her hand, taking her hand into his free one and leading her into the house, through the house, and into her room. He sat her down on the bed before kneeling onto the floor, beginning to take off her shoes and planning on helping her strip the rest of her clothing if needed so she can get comfortable.

"It's cute that you think that meeting me was good luck, I'll check in with you again in a few months and see if you still feel that way", Amber-Jade joked. "I always hoped that the foster home would be better than the group home, that's all I wanted for him. We were always just a number in that place and after he left, it just got worse because I lost the person that helped to keep me sane. I hate knowing that he was lonely in his foster home but I'm glad that he had you, even if the two of you were a destructive combination". Knowing that Ollie had people in his life after her, people that looked after him, was a comforting thought. "This isn't a current crisis, though. This is about what happened after he moved away from the group home and I can't tell him that, not when he already feels so guilty about leaving me alone in that place. He'll never forgive himself if he knows everything that happened. I know that he's a good guy, that he's loyal and good in a crisis, which is why I refuse to tell him. I don't want to be the person that breaks him", she murmured, trusting that Bryce understood what she meant. "If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty damn confident that I have you beat in that department. The most fucked up thing I've ever done, the thing that I won't even tell Ollie? I was selling myself in NYC. I was sleeping in homeless shelters, shoplifting just so that I could eat, and going home with random people so that I'd have a roof over my head for the night. I had no money to my name, no GED, no prospects at all so one night, I decided to charge for the pleasure of my company rather than just giving it out for free". Her voice was emotionless as she spoke, bracing herself for his judgement or rejection. "Play your cards right and maybe you'll be able to sleep with the best man at the reception", she flirted, winking at him. As she sat down on the bed and Bryce started to help her undress, she looked at him with adoring eyes. "Can you... are you staying the night? It would be nice to have the company. I just got back from seeing my father in prison and it's the first time I've seen him since he killed my mom so I don't really want to be alone".

“And you’re completely in denial if you think that I’m joking. You know just for that, I’m going to say meeting you was the greatest luck I could’ve possibly had in a few months, whether it’s true or not.” Bryce laughed, his stubborn nature completely coming out in that very moment. “Yeah, he’s told me some of the shit that would go down in those homes. I’m sorry if you also went through some crap while being in the group home.” His words were sincere as he spoke. Although his parents didn’t pay much attention to him and Allison (at least not as much as their three older siblings), and despite that they were completely emotionally abusive to the two, Bryce couldn’t really complain as things could’ve very much been worse. At least he had a roof over his head every night, and didn’t have to worry about where he was getting his next meal from, at least not like Ollie and Amber-Jade had to. “I get it. I’m the same with my sister. Love the girl to death, and trust her more than I trust anyone, but there’s just some shit I just can’t tell her. I don’t think you’d break him, but also he can surprise me at times. You tell whoever you want to tell, I’m sure he’ll understand either way, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” He said with a shrug, completely seeing where she had been coming from, especially because he felt the same way with his little sister. Although his facial expression had remained neutral, his heart had practically dropped to the pit of his stomach as she spoke about what had to remain unspoken between her and Ollie — her selling herself. He didn’t know what to say, especially because he knew that this was partially the liquor taking over, her intoxicated state making her so open to him, despite the fact that the two still barely knew each other. He wanted to talk about it further, but knew this wasn't the time. It would just have to wait until the morning when she was sober, and when they were both able to take things a bit more seriously. Still, he didn’t want to just not say anything. “Part of me wants to say that you should tell Ollie, but another part of me says that Ollie would somehow turn into a FBI agent and hunt those mother fuckers down...but shit. I’m sorry you had to go through that, babe. Are you doing better now? Now that you’re here?” He asked in a cautious tone, not really used to this whole being there for someone thing. He typically didn’t talk about heavy things like this with the women he slept with; Lola being the only exception, and now her. “Ooh, dirty wedding sex. How soon do you think I can get Ollie to propose?” Bryce laughed softly. He looked up at the redhead as he tossed her shoes to the side, giving her a shy smile. “It’s adorable that you think I’m leaving you alone when you’re this drunk. I can stay in the spare bedroom, if you want.”

"Even if meeting me was the greatest luck you could have experienced, I'm not going to believe you now. There's always a part of me that will think that you're lying just to win", Amber retorted, childishly poking her tongue out at him. "The group home was a surprise for Ollie because he had loving parents before he was taken into care. My parents were drug addicts; my father was abusive; and I was neglected from a very young age. The group home sucked but it wasn't a huge change for me", she said softly, a somber expression on her face as she actually engaged in an honest and open manner with him. "I'm glad that you get it because most people don't, most people think that someone can't be your best friend if you don't tell them literally every little thing that you've been through. If you don't talk to your sister, who do you talk to?" she asked softly, hoping that he had someone to confide in so that his secrets didn't eat him alive. "I told you that I'd have you beat in the fucked up department", she laughed bitterly. He hadn't recoiled but Amber-Jade had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that he would maybe start to pull away over the next few weeks; subtly and discreetly until it was like they had barely known each other to begin with. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but life had proven to her that people didn't stay; no matter how badly she wanted them too. "I don't think that I'm ever going to tell Ollie, he'll never forgive himself for leaving me behind if he learns that". She sighed softly when he asked how she was doing now. "Lola lets me live here rent free so that helps; and my scholarship pays for the majority of my tuition. I work three jobs and that's almost enough to survive on; especially if I stick tightly to my budget and don't splurge too much. It's hard but I'm surviving so I don't need to resort to those methods", she assured him. "I've already put money on it, I think he'll be proposing by the end of this year", she said confidently. "Can you sleep here, with me? I'll keep my hands to myself but I just really can't be alone right now. I promise that I'm not trying to blur any lines, I know that we're just screwing around despite my stupid little crush on you but I could really use a friend right now".

"Then you're just going to have to believe me now when I tell you that I'm pretty damn lucky to meet someone who gets it, who gets me." Despite the fact that he had been joking around and laughing, Bryce was completely serious. "I'm sorry you had a rough upbringing and that your parents basically fucking suck. You know, everyone always thinks that my siblings and I had this amazing upbringing because my dad was a very famous hotshot lawyer, mom is a physician. They're the picture perfect couple with the picture perfect kids -- another lawyer, a doctor, a ceo, an airman, and a nurse. We looked great at business parties, but what people really didn't see was the verbal and emotional abuse that went on. Nobody saw how hard my dad was on us, especially Allison. It was a toxic household, and although it was full, it felt empty." He confided, thinking that if the girl had been confiding in him about her life, the least he could do was tell her a bit about his own upbringing. "No one." Bryce stated simply when asked who does he talk to that's not Allison. He was being honest, if he wasn't talking to Allison, he didn't really talk to anyone. He was a master at keeping things to himself, at internalizing everything; so much so, it was basically his normal. "Do you really want to keep something like that from him though? I have my own fucked up shit, but I don't tell anyone because that's just the way I do things. It's not healthy, but that's just the soldier in me, I know how to stand tall on my own. I get that you don't want to make him feel bad, but Amber-Jade he's going to feel bad either way because he didn't want to leave you. I would feel bad too if I left the one person I love just to hear that they struggled a lot. Anyone would feel bad when it comes to their loved ones, that's just the overly protective side of us." He was attempting to be the least bit rational in that moment, thinking the other could very much use some words of wisdom, even if it had made him look like a hypocrite in that very moment. "I'm glad you're doing better, but we should probably talk about this more in the morning...when you're sober." He said in a soft tone, giving her a shy smile to show that he wasn't just trying to drop the conversation. "Yikes, do you think they're ready for that?" He asked, being slightly stung by the possible fact of his best friend and the girl he was still in love with getting engaged so soon. Looking up at Amber-Jade, he smiled. He tossed her shoes to the side, before standing up and making his way towards her wardrobe in order to look for some clothes for her to change in. Grabbing what looked to be an oversized t-shirt, he walked back over to her. Bryce couldn't fight the stupid smile on his face as she basically admitted that she had a crush on him. Hearing the words only caused him to place his hands on either side of her body, bending down just to kiss her softly. "God, you're so fucking cute. I just can't resist you." He said with a soft chuckle before pulling off her shirt, just to replace it with the clean shirt he just got. "I'll sleep with you tonight. Whatever you need, I'm here."

Amber looked at him for a few seconds, trying to gauge whether or not he was serious, before she smiled softly. "Fine, I believe you right now. It'll be harder to convince me in a few months time, though". The reason why Amber-Jade was so quick to believe him was because she felt the exact same way -- it felt refreshing to be around Bryce because he just got her, no matter what fucked up thing she said or how messy her life was. "I never really bought that whole "picture perfect" ideal because most of the people I've met who have come from that background have made it clear that it's fucking awful. I'm really sorry that you and Allison both went through that. People tend to focus on physical abuse like it's the only thing that can damage a child but the verbal and emotional damage is just as scarring", she acknowledged, feeling empathy for both of the siblings and their experiences. "I would tell you to start talking to someone but that would make me a hypocrite considering I do the same thing. If you ever need someone to talk to, though, you know where to find me", she said simply, not wanting to push him into something that he wasn't ready for. "I don't like keeping secrets from him but I think it's necessary. I was going to tell him one night but before I could even get to that part of the story, I saw the expression on his face. He looked gutted at just the mentions of the homeless shelters, of stealing food to survive, of going home with people just so that I'd have a warm bed to sleep in. I had planned to tell him about the rest of it but after seeing that look on his face, I just couldn't. I... I told him that I came close to making that decision to sell myself but that I had met Lola just in time and he looked so fucking relieved. I can't take that relief from him, he doesn't deserve any more hardship in his life. I may not be a soldier like you but I can stand tall on my own too", she explained, trusting that he would understand. "If you want to talk about it more tomorrow, we can. If you want to pretend like I never told you because it's too much, too deep, I'll understand that too". She wanted to give Bryce the out if he needed it; she had put a lot on his plate tonight and didn't want to force him to talk about it further if he didn't want to. "I don't think that day is too far off, sorry. I know it's hard to see someone that you love with someone else", she said quietly, feeling bad for having hurt him by making that off-handed remark about Lola and Ollie. "I'm definitely going to regret telling you about this dumb crush in the morning, I swore that I would take that secret to my grave because I didn't want to get rejected", she admitted, a sheepish expression on his face as he took off her shirt and helped her change into a more comfortable one to sleep in. "Thank you for tonight, Bryce. It really means a lot to me", she said genuinely as she moved to get into bed, pulling down the covers so that he could get into bed beside her once he was ready.

Laughing, Bryce wrapped an arm around her shoulder and brought Amber in close, pressing her lips against her forehead. He had known that there was something about the other that he just resonated with, but he wasn't able to put his finger on it until that very moment. They were both fucked up, in their own ways. She wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, or the type to find the silver lining in everything. She was realistic, and as fucked up as it sounds, he was glad she could relate to him in some way. "And I'm sorry you went through what you did. Looks like we're both train wrecks." He stated only half-jokingly, chuckling softly in order to lighten up the mood. "If there's one thing I've learned over the past six years, it's that therapy isn't for everyone. I don't care what anyone says, saying that therapy is for everyone is complete bullshit. I just do better when I don't talk about things, it's a bit backwards, but I guess that's just how I function." He shrugged. "Sooo, you lied to him? Now I'm beginning to question this whole best friend thing." Bryce gave the other a sheepish smile, knowing that this was very much beginning to turn into a messy situation. It wasn't as though he would ever tell the other male; he wouldn't break Amber's confidence like that, and it wasn't as though the two men were talking in that moment. "Listen, I'm not going to pressure you to talk to him if you really believe that he won't be able to it. Just - Just don't let this eat you alive. You have someone who loves you, who really loves you and who'd probably go to the end of the earth for you. I know what that's like because I have a sister who can be a bit over protective, that's family. He's your family. But like you said, best friends don't have to know everything...but if you ever needed to talk to him about something, I know Ollie well enough to know that he'll put any personal feelings aside if needed. Remember that." Despite the fact that the two men weren't on the best of terms, Bryce still wanted to speak on behalf of Ollie. He had always found himself admiring and idolizing the other male due to his resilience and the way he was always able to get past all of the hardships. "It's not too much, trust me. I'm not trying to dismiss anything, but I don't know if you've noticed, but you're really drunk right now." The last part of his statement came out with a laugh, smiling at how just freaking adorable she was in this very moment. This smile and laugh immediately diminished when hearing that there was a high chance that Ollie will be proposing, and that even Amber thought that the day was quickly off. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't hurt and even a bit annoyed with himself, but he would never admit that or show it. "I'm fine." He said in a neutral tone, shrugging his shoulders as his facial expression grew hard and emotionless. "Well, would you regret it if I told you that stupid little crush may be reciprocated? And that I happen to really adore you?" Bryce spoke softly, kissing her once more before helping her get changed. He took off her pants so that she wasn't confined in her jeans, although with her state of intoxication, she probably wouldn't have even noticed. Keeping his clothes on, he took off his shoes before getting into bed next to her, opening his arms so that he could hold her if that's what she wanted. "I need you to promise me something..." He began, finding himself not being able to go to sleep as he really wasn't able to drop the sudden news of her past. "You call me or Ollie if you ever need anything, okay? I don't care what time it is, or how much you need...you come to me. Whether you need one dollar or one hundred, you call and we'll figure that shit out together if you don't want all of my money. I don't want you going back to that place...I don't want you to ever feel as though you ever have to resort to selling yourself to some sleazy guy with a micro penis just because you need to pay off a bill. I know I can speak for both me and Ollie when I say that you're not alone anymore. You have two people, maybe even more, ready whenever you need us. And if you don't want to talk to anyone else about it, then I need you to at least promise that you'll talk to me. I don't care what time, I don't care what's going on, and I don't care if it's years from now and we're not even speaking -- you come find me. Promise me that."

Amber smiled fondly when he wrapped his arm around her and pressed his lips against her forehead. She was trying her best to pretend that her stupid little crush on Bryce didn't exist, not wanting to put her heart on the line and inevitably get crushed; or to scare him away when he realized that her feelings weren't completely platonic. Most of the time, it was easy enough to pretend that nothing had changed at her end but during soft moments like this, when her entire world narrowed to the feeling of his lips on her skin, she knew that she was well and truly fucked. "This is going to sound fucked up, like I'm glad that you're a mess like me, but I promise that's not what I mean. I am genuinely sorry that you went through all that crazy shit but I think the reason why I find it so easy to be around you is because you get it. You get me", she said softly. "Trust me, I wasn't preaching therapy", she laughed. "Lola had to drag me kicking and screaming to a grief support group, I'm definitely not telling anyone to go to therapy. I more meant a trusted person in your life, someone to go to if you can't talk to Allison", she clarified. "I know, I'm the worst friend in the world", she groaned, burying her head in her hands. "I promise that I'm not letting it eat me alive. I did some fucked up things, things I'm not proud of, but I did it to survive because life dealt me a truly shitty hand. I wish that I hadn't had to resort to sex work and it's definitely not something that I'm proud of considering you're the first person that I've ever told about it but I did what I needed to do. You know Ollie better than almost anyone else... do you think that it's information that he'd want to know or do you think it's information that will eat away at him?" she questioned. "Like I said, it's not eating away at me but if it will eat away at him, I'll stand by my decision to take that information to my grave". Ollie's wellbeing meant the world to her and she refused to destroy him just to make herself feel better by being honest. "I'm a little drunk", she corrected even though Bryce was right; she just didn't want to admit how badly her prison visit had fucked with her head. "It's okay if you aren't fine. I wasn't really fine when I came to MU and realized that he was in a happily committed relationship. I think I always held onto a little bit of hope that he might end up with me but that's not the way that life worked out and that's okay. I'd rather he be happy, even if it's with someone other than me". This was just yet another thing that they had in common. "I'd only regret it if you didn't mean it, if it's just something that you were saying because I'm drunk and pretty wrecked right now", she told him, finding herself desperately hoping that it was true; that it wasn't just a line that he was throwing out to make her feel better. She didn't hesitate before moving into his arms, her head resting on his chest like this was routine for them; something that they had done a hundred times before and would do a hundred times ago. She looked up at him when he asked her to make a promise, trying to gauge whether or not he was serious. "I promise", she said softly. She found that she actually meant it, that despite years of being fiercely independent and standing on her own two feet, she was willing to put her faith in this man; to trust him with her darkest secrets and come to him if things ever got rough again.

Bryce knew that it was beginning to happen again. He was beginning to fall for yet another girl that was nearly as fucked up as he was. The last time he felt this instant connection with someone, the last time he truly blurred the lines with someone was Lola - after his late girlfriend died. He knew that he should be running for the hills, or at least setting firmer boundaries, but he found himself truly not being able to resist Amber-Jade. From the moment they met, he's found her to be breathtaking, vibrant, and had that fire in her soul that he was always a sucker for. It was only a matter of time before the lines between the two were completely blurred, kind of how they were with Lola at one point; in which the two were together, but not together - this weird limbo in which no one could really pin point what was going on. "No, I completely get it. I feel the same way, just didn't want to say it out loud because it sounds fucked." He laughed, thankful that the two were on the same page when it came to the topic. "Good, because my parents have been trying since my girlfriend died. Pretty sure they were even considering shock therapy and one of those creep Christian camps at one point. But who's your person if you don't talk to Ollie?" He asked curiously, trying to remain open minded about not being so closed off. Bryce took a moment to really think about her question, and to put himself into Ollie's mind; trying to figure out what the other male would probably say if he were in this position. "I think he would tell you that he'd love you no matter what you tell him. At the end of the day he would just want you to be okay, just like he wants everyone to be okay. It's your dirty laundry, so at the end of the day who you tell and don't tell is up to you." He said in a soft tone, giving her a sheepish smile after. It was a difficult situation, but it wasn't any of his business. "I'm fine, Amber-Jade." Bryce said once again, putting up that wall. He didn't want to talk about his relationship with Lola, his strained friendship with someone he considered to be a brother, and the fact that he was even having the feelings he was currently having in that very moment. He shook his head, essentially snapping himself out of whatever was going on in his head. He then focused his attention back onto the redhead. Chuckling at her comment, he leaned back in and kissed her, this time the kissing lingering for a bit longer than normal. "Do you think I didn't mean it?" He asked as he pulled away, his lips just barely grazing over hers. He kissed the top of her head as the other made their way closer to his body. Bryce found himself holding onto her as if she was suddenly going to vanish. But in all honesty, he just didn't want to let go, not after she had opened up to him about something so dark. The moment felt vulnerable, intimate, and yet so perfect. "Thank you...I care about you, Amber-Jade. Like, I really fucking care about you."

Amber had no intention of developing feelings for anyone at MU but without her even realizing it, Bryce had managed to work his way under her skin. She was capable of separating sex from emotions as it was something that she had practiced for years now, never allowing herself to become emotionally attached to anyone that she was sleeping with, yet he was quickly proving to be the exception to that rule. It was both exhilarating and terrifying. "It really is fucked but I'm glad that you feel it too... if I was the only one, I'd know that I need professional hope", Amber joked, laughing along with him. She didn't flinch when he told her about his girlfriend dying; the two of them truly taking everything in stride when it came to the revelations in their friendship. She knew what it was like to tell someone something personal, only for them to have a dramatic or judgemental reaction; it just caused you to shut down further and she never wanted to be responsible for that, especially not when she cared about him so much already. "I'm glad your parents didn't get their way, shock therapy and creepy Christian camps are a terrible way to deal with grief. Besides, I happen to like you the way you are; without shock therapy fucking up your brain or that creepy camp converting you to organized religion". She didn't say that she was sorry for his loss because it really didn't help anything but she took his hand, softly running her thumb over his skin; wordlessly conveying that she was here for him. "I know that it doesn't seem like it but Ollie's still my person. I tell him everything else, I just can't bring myself to talk about the... the sex work. I guess that kind of makes you one of my people too, considering you're the only person I've ever told about that". She nodded her head slightly at his opinion on how Ollie would likely react to that news. "I'll think about telling him, I'm just not ready for that yet", she said after considering his response for a few seconds. "I know that you're fine. I'm just saying that it's okay not to be fine sometimes, I'm a living example of that". She wasn't going to push him to talk about Lola and Ollie, essentially dropping the topic there. She kissed him back, a fond smile on her face when he pulled away. "No one has ever meant it before. I've never meant it before. I've only really had romantic feelings for two people in my life and I wasn't exactly telling them how I felt; or pursuing a relationship with them", she explained. "It's terrifying but I really fucking care about you too. I didn't mean for it to happen, you just got under my skin without me even realizing it".

Bryce laughed at Amber’s soft joke. It was crazy how the two were so much alike — it was probably why they got along so well. He hadn’t even realized that he had mention Jess, someone he still held very near and dear to his heart. The man never really talked about her to anyone, the only people who really knew about her being his siblings, and Ollie. Lola and Avery knew about her, but even then he tried to steer away from that conversation. And yet, he had just blurted it out as if it was nothing, blurting out the one thing that made him weak in the knees. It was probably a good thing that Amber didn’t really respond to that part of his statement, because knowing him he would’ve very much began freaking out, and reverting back to his old ways. “Damn, imagine if I really did go to Christian camp...holy shit. I probably wouldn’t be as good in bed as I am.” He laughed softly. When she took his hand, he immediately brought their hands up to his lips, kissing hers softly before lowering them. “Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. It’s your business, and your friendship. I just happen to be the person who knows both of you, but no judgement here.” He assured. Bryce let out a sigh as the other went on to say that it was okay if he wasn’t fine. In all honesty, he was far from fine in that moment. Although the two had been joking about the couple getting married, he didn’t actually think it was being brought into consideration. He knew that Ollie loved Lola, but he also loved Allison, from what his concern was. Bryce never would’ve expected Ollie to really consider spending the rest of his life with one person, and in that moment he felt as though a huge bomb had been dropped; and that another bomb would soon be dropped if Amber was right and a proposal was in the works. Still, he refused to speak about it further, and he had been really fighting to not just put Amber to bed and head to the bar just to fuck his feelings away using some random girl. But he couldn’t just leave her here, not when she was this intoxicated. “I just don’t believe that. I bet you have your fair share of admirers, they’re probably just out in hiding somewhere.” He said with a smile. “You’re talking to the guy who’s infamous for not talking about his feelings. I’ve only had romantic feelings for three girls, two of them I constantly ran away from as soon as those said feelings were talked about.” Once again, he laughed. Although, he did end up shaking his head in mere disappointment, as his running had resulted in breaking both Lola’s and Avery’s heart continuously. “Same goes you. I don’t know what it is about you, but I just can’t seem to stay away.” He said in a quiet voice. Still holding her in his arms, he brought one hand up to her face, his thumb gently stroking her cheek before tilting her head up. He leaned down slightly to press a gentle kiss onto her lips. “You should get some rest, babe. You’re really going to be feeling this tomorrow.”

Amber could instinctively tell that she had made the right decision by not focusing on the comment about his deceased girlfriend, having a strong feeling that it would have caused Bryce to immediately put his walls back up. "Honestly, I think you would be kinkier if you had gone to Christian camp. You would have all this built up energy and when you finally got a chance to unleash that, it would have been wild", Amber-Jade told him, laughing along with him. "I know that you aren't judging me, I guess I just wanted your feedback about what you thought was the right thing to do because you do know both of us and I trust your judgement", she explained. She really regretted having made that joking comment about Lola and Ollie potentially getting engaged soon because even though she believed that it was true, it had clearly bothered Bryce; even if he was refusing to let on. She decided to drop the topic, though, not wanting to push any further as she was worried that it would upset him further and affect the relationship that she and Bryce had been building. "If they're hiding, they're doing a very good job of it", she said, laughing off his comment as she really didn't believe it. "You literally sound like me right now. I literally never told the first person that I had feelings for them and when it came to the second person, I basically dropped out of high school and never talked to them again after I realized that there was potential there. I had other shit going on at the time that also contributed to the decision to drop out of high school but honestly, it was a fucked up thing for me to do and she definitely deserved better". Bryce's relationship history didn't scare her off as that would have been incredibly hypocritical considering her own past relationships. "I don't want you to stay away, I'm pretty infatuated with you", she said softly, smiling fondly when he gently kissed her lips. "Promise that you'll stay?" she asked a little nervously as she got into bed, knowing that he was right and that she should start sleeping it off.

"I don't think I would even have survived a place like that. Either that, or I would've lowkey been corrupting all the girls there." Bryce said with a soft laugh. "I think you should just follow whatever your gut is telling you to do. Don't make your decision based off what I'm saying." He said with a soft smile. He personally thought Ollie should know, considering that if there was anyone who could've possibly said the right thing in this very moment, it was him. But he also understood where Amber was coming from. Ollie had always been notorious for holding the entire world on his shoulders, as he always wanted to save every one, and yet always simultaneously put himself on the back burner. He was certainly glad that the other dropped the topic that was Lola and Oliver. This was something he wasn't ready to talk about; and quite frankly, he was still in the process of fully and truly getting over the girl. "Or maybe you just haven't realized who's pining after you from a far. So let me make it a bit more clear. Consider me one of your admirers." The two had already admitted their crushes for one another, so he didn't see what the big deal was of making this comment. "Feelings fucking suck. That shit gets a bit too complicated for me. It's always been easier to just run away than to ruin something that's already so good with feelings." He ranted for just a brief moment. Bryce was glad that he had someone to relate to, especially about this. In that moment, he was convinced that the reason why he was so drawn to the redhead was because of the fact that the two were the same in some ways. He continued to hold her, his hand gently running up and down her back as she laid in his arms. Although this was supposed to be him comforting her, he found a bit of serenity from the gesture. He could hold her forever, and a part of him actually wanted to do so. "I'll be here when you wake up. Promise." He assured, keeping his voice in a mere whisper as the two laid in the dark, the only sounds filling the air being those of their voices and their subtle breathing.

"I definitely think that you would have been corrupting everyone, you would have been the sexual awakening for a lot of girls", Amber-Jade teased. "My gut instinct is almost always to keep things hidden, I'm not exactly a fan of talking about my feelings or difficult topics", she admitted. She knew that it wasn't exactly healthy but she had been raised to never really talk about things, no matter how bad they got. It was hard to shake that habit, even though she was older and somewhat wiser these days. She wasn't just worried about how Ollie would react to this new information; but how hard it would be for her to initiate that conversation with him. "We'll see if you still admire me in the morning. Maybe it's just something that you're saying to make me feel better about my confession because you think that I won't remember tomorrow", she joked; although honestly, there was a small part of her that worried that might actually be the case. "Can we promise to try not to do that with each other? I know that we'll probably both be tempted to run at some point because it's easier and familiar but I don't want you to be another person that I leave behind", she admitted. She wasn't usually so honest with people but she felt comfortable around Bryce and it was certainly easier to make such disclosures when they were lying together in the dark. "Thank you for tonight", she said softly, shifting her position slightly so that she could press her lips gently against his.

Bryce chuckled at the comment and shook his head, finding the theoretical scenario to be rather absurd, but also something that he would manage to do. “I would’ve gotten kicked out in at least two weeks. And I’m sure they’d throw holy water on me to make sure I don’t burn.” He joked back, continuing to laugh at the thought. “You know what? I can’t even say anything about that because then I would be the biggest hypocrite. Sometimes it’s just better to remain quiet. Avoids all of the feelings and difficulty of things.” He immediately agreed with her. Bryce wasn’t going to force her to do anything she didn’t want to do; so if she wanted to keep this personal and to herself, he wasn’t going to judge. He had no right to judge. “It’ll fucking suck if you don’t remember this tomorrow, because I don’t think I can admit all of this again.” He chuckled. He really was fond of Amber, and admired her entirely. “I’ll promise to try...although I really don’t want to run away from you. You already mean a whole lot to me, Amber-Jade.” His voice was soft as he spoke, and he could feel himself becoming more and more vulnerable as the seconds continued to pass. Bryce immediately brought his hand up to her cheek as she leaned up and placed her lips against his, cupping it gently as he deepened the kiss just for a quick moment. “I’m just glad you’re safe. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

"Getting kicked out of one of those schools is basically rock bottom, Bryce. They think that they can save everyone, what does that say about you if you would have gotten kicked out in two weeks?" Amber-Jade teasingly questioned, winking at him to let him know that she was just joking. "Life really fucked us up, huh?" It was rather selfish but she was a little relieved to know that she wasn't the only person that bottled things up and avoided talking feelings, even though it was one of the unhealthiest ways to live. "I didn't drink enough to be blackout drunk, I'm going to remember this in the morning", she assured him. Honestly, it was half-assurance and half-warning; letting him know that she would still remember the nature of his feelings in the morning. "I promise to try, too. I don't want you to be just another part of my past, a giant 'what if?'" she admitted. She said nothing further, instead just smiling warmly at him when he promised that he would be there in the morning; those words making her feel safe enough to drift off to sleep.

"Me getting kicked out would make me legendary." Bryce stated simply, laughing before dropping the topic. He really just wanted the girl to get some rest, although he did really enjoyed talking to her. Tonight had been a weird night for him. What started off with him just getting a few drinks at the local bar, only ended with him not only saving Amber from something that could've ended badly, bringing her home to safety, expressing that he was basically pining over her, and was now holding her in bed as if it was a routine thing for them to do. To say that it had been a whirlwind of emotions even for him, and he was actually sober. He simply nodded as she mentioned that she didn't want him to be one of her what ifs, nonverbally agreeing with her. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head before leaning over slightly to turn off the last light on, officially leaving them in the dark. It wasn't long before he also drifted off to a deep slumber, and in the morning she would wake up to a nice breakfast in bed.

[simkjrs]

assorted fic/msa asks

Anonymous said: msa izuku while an Official Of The Law tries to stop him from doing his usual cryptic stunts: hey where can i go to file a complaint? its not formal. fuck you.

this is just the right level of irritation, sarcasm, and wit to come straight from msa izuku’s mouth. i love that

Anonymous said: someone asks msa izuku what he wants to be when he grows up. he stares at the floor angrily. "a concept. if even that," he says. no one knows how to respond. the silence stretches.

god this is PRISTINE. the silence stretches. im laughing you’ve captured the quintessential msa izuku experience!!!

Anonymous said: msa izuku's saving grace yet achille's attention-pulling heel is his ability to circumvent the powers people use to attack him, linear narratives, and any expectations placed on him

nfljsdfjsd yeah. his greatest strength and greatest weakness... it’s so funny to write. i love it

Anonymous said:  kirishima: deku we actually dont want to screw you over msa izuku: that sounds fake but ok

YEP! thats pretty much it

Anonymous said: Thinking about the wording of MSA!Izuku's deal with Kirishima, Kirishima might actually be able to take advantage of Izuku abusing the wording of the deal. So Kirishima could use the fact that he literaly cannot keep Izuku anywhere and that Izuku could ditch at any time in order to have an actual conversation with him. After all, Izuku always has a way out.

you fucking got me there. completely nailed it

Anonymous said: does msa iz/uku have to deal with shitty dreams too? like trauma from spirit shenanigans comes back to bite him in the ass in his sleep?

yeah there sure is a lot of trauma going around. like, look at this comment i got from crossy, i feel like this is one of the funniest things anyone has ever said about msa

Anonymous said: Okay... blink if the adult supervision in MSA is Aizawa....

you all know me so well!! fucking called me out!!!

Anonymous said: eyy u know that art u made of ritsu on ur art blog, "ritsu's range of normal human emotions?" the part where it said disattached from the social dogma? i imagines that as ur msa!izuku and skdnfsj o h m y g o d

im laughing!!! youre completely right. i need to redraw the panel now

Anonymous said: where is izuku's guardian spirit, you ask? theory: izuku is his own guardian spirit. he finds out and "well i must be doing a pretty shitty job. i hate myself. bye"

Anonymous said: ..... izuku is a gaurdian spirit but his ""quirk"" is being alive...... thats why getting his quirk shut off by eraserhead compeltely shut his body off

YOU ARE... almost completely correct

Anonymous said: since msa mido is like half a quirk himself does that mean he's his own guardian spirit? because if that was true and you told him that he would be so so tired. "my life's a sick joke already but thanks for that addition" or something. this poor child.

that’s pretty much the mindset he wakes up with every day!

Anonymous said: Ok so idk if im the only one who does this but whenever i read fanfic/any kind of writing i kinda come up with like a general color palette that fits with the whole story or like colors from a certain time of day or somethin as a general base for any fanart i might make for the thing but for Byggualom i imagine pinkish, orangey golden sunset colors with hints of plant greens and reds and for msa i imagine a lot of things happening in almost completely grayscale with gold highlights and-(1)

(2)- surreal moments where a bright/contrasting color is present(like the scene where the fox spirit appeared with the red eyes against the silver fur

that’s really cool! i love the sunset colors for byggualom, and the black and white is certainly a fitting ominous atmosphere for msa :^) 

Anonymous said: of fucking course fucking msa/villain izuku was there, MSA/villain fucking Izuku is always there. it’s like one of those universal laws of reality. whenever life takes a turn for the utterly insane, and or disturbingly lethal, msa/villain izuku is somehow right in the middle of it. looking innocent. like a fluffy bunny rabbit. with an innocent look in its eyes and an entire city reduced to rubble in the background, on fire. (I did both b/c I love both the dysfunctional dorks(and both made sense

i think this is more applicable to villain izuku. msa izuku will also be there in the middle of whatever chaos is happening, but he will not look innocent, he will look pissed and tired. you think YOU’RE tired of this bullshit? hah! you should hear about what he’s been doing all day. and no he’s not going to tell you, he’s just going to gripe about it endlessly while also furiously trying to fix everything that went wrong. 

other than that... this is rlly good. i love that. thanks for sending it in

Anonymous said: since i found out u listen to sea wolf the song "spirit horse" has just been violently playing in the background when i think of msa like thanks (not even sarcastically i love seawolf)

hell yeah, love that.... the song’s a bit too horse-y for me to put it on my msa playlist but you know what? its good

Anonymous said: Hey! Just wanted to let you know I ADORE your writing. Your OPM AU (that's what I always call it, I can never remember the acronym) is amazing and I've reread it twice. I decided to give your MSA story a try the other day and I LOVED that one as well. I was initially hoping for a OPM AU update but now I'm psyched as hell for MSA. Thank you so much for your amazing work. Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy both stories :) Have a great day

thank you! i’m happy you enjoy both fics so much <3 

Anonymous said: hi you’re an amazing artist/writer and I hope you have a great day :)

thank you!! i have been having some pretty great days, which is nice, i hope you are doing well too!

Anonymous said: ive reread msa for the like 5th time today and just wanted to tell you what an awesome job you did and i absolutely adore it and hope you have an amazing week!!!

i cant believe you’ve read it so many times!!! i’m glad you like it so much, and i hope you have a great week as well!

Anonymous said: Hey, *finger guns*, I really love your writing!

well guess what... i love you,

Anonymous said: All your stories are so good! I cryyyyy x

thanks! im crying also

Anonymous said: I'm so fucken hyped for literally all you bnha fan-fiction/head-cannons like seriously how do you even come up with ALL of it?!?!?!

mostly i just... actively put characters into situations that i think would be hilarious, or dream up bits of dialogue that spur me to craft an entire backstory just so i can lead up to the one moment. helps to have friends who encourage you to become increasingly unhinged from canon though.

Anonymous said: have *clap* a *clap* nice *clap* day

you too! 

Anonymous said: Okay you prolly get this loads but I freaking love everything you write! Everything is written so well and I die every time you update bc it's so good! I will happily wait five years to read any new chapter if it's written this well okay I'm rambling I love you have a nice day!

this is so nice.... thank you.... 

Anonymous said: HOLY SHIT, ANOTHER NONBINARY FIC WRITER!!! YO WHATS UP!!! WE'RE A P RARE BREED... HELL YEAH THOUGH!!! UR FICS R SUPER COOL UR SUCH A BIG INSPIRATION TO ME!! I HOPE U HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY + YOU NEVER GET WRITERS BLOCK + YOUR HANDS NEVER CRAMP UP!!!

hello there!!! it’s fantastic to see you!!!! hell yeah [i try to dab but accidentally knock over the stack of papers on my desk instead]

Anonymous said: Hey, I just wanted to say that I think you're doing a really super job with trying to write and do school at the same time. I know (personally) that it's really hard to do even WITHOUT extra stuff piling on top, but you handle the blog with a lot of humor and clumsy grace and I just wanted to let you know that you brighten up my day a lot. Thanks! I hope you do really well!!!!!!

hey! thank you, i put a lot of effort into running this blog, as can be evidenced by the week-long stretches of time between short bursts of activity

seriously though... thanks... i appreciate this ask a lot. hope you’re doing well!

Anonymous said: I just wanna say thank you! MSA Izuku gives me life XDDD

hell yeah! im glad to hear that

Anonymous said: dunno bout you or anyone else, but i see your izukus as homoromantic demisexual(s), just wanted to share

nice... 

im cool w/ whatever as long as it adheres to my one guideline which is that izuku is a mlm