#i apologise for its unorthodox structure
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
something post-episode 15x03
It must be Cas who Sam's texting so furtively, which is fine, except that if Dean's going to be apologized for he'd rather know what's being said; so the next time Sam takes a shower, Dean swipes the phone from his brother's jeans pocket and MacGyvers his way around the scanner with a piece of sticky tape and a fingerprint lifted from Sam's breakfast juice.
Cas certainly shows up in Sam's recent messages, but it's the name on the thread at the top which gives Dean pause. Rowena. He doesn't - well, they all saw her fall. And when he clicks through, yeah, there's no mystery texts from beyond the grave; nothing from Rowena since the text she sent to both of them back in Harlan to let them know she was on her way.
Instead, all of the messages are from Sam: clutches of them at intervals over the past several days.
05:30: Had a really fucking terrible dream last night 05:33: Shit sorry I just woke up properly 05:35: I don't know why I'm texting you sorry when the thing I'm sorry about is that I forgot you're dead 05:40: And killing you. I'm sorry for that
16:30: I keep seeing the hole, the rift, whatever, and you falling 16:33: Some kind of rich irony in me venting to you about being triggered by your death
01:45: I just don't know who else to talk to about this shit. the cage is open, that's what belphegor said. and i know L hasn't been in it for a while, but it's fucking me up 01:48: i just keep seeing his face 01:50: he's dead 02:12: he's dead
21:27: I hope you weren't too afraid
06:01: what's it like to have a thousand angry ghosts inside you, i wonder 06:03: scratch that, i don't want to know
11:42: you can call it prophecy or whatever but it still feels like the same thing, like not being able to choose 11:44: except i did choose, you made me 11:48: fuck you
03:03: something's wrong with me, i think 03:04: more than usual 03:09: i wish i could trust how i felt anymore. i hate this
22:10: i’m not still in there, right?
07:17: it's a week later and i still can't sleep
Dean doesn't even mean to read them, not once he realizes that this isn't quite what he thought; but it's an easy slide of the eye down from one to another and then before he knows it, he's at the end. That last message was sent this morning.
It would be very easy for Dean to swap out Rowena's number for his own. He could get this stuff straight from the source; the things Sammy won't tell him. I don't know who else to talk to about this shit, indeed. So much for what Cas had said, that he and Sam had each other. It doesn't feel like that looking at this.
It juddered something inside of Dean, too, the pit in the graveyard and Rowena's careful steps towards the edge of it. Of course it did. He won't ever forget it, the sickening shock of Sam's fall; and the silence afterwards as the ground sealed up tight, dry grass and dry earth and nothing to show the great rift that had torn open everything just moments before.
All of it, what Chuck’s doing, is designed to press their buttons; to send them sliding back into the worst of what’s come before. He’s dead. He’s dead. Dean thinks, unexpectedly and with a feeling like a cold shock of ice at the top of his spine, of Alasdair.
It would be very easy to swap out Rowena's number for his own. He doesn't do it.
#the rupture#rowena#sam winchester#bittersamgirlclub#winchesterangstclub#spn gen fic#i don't even know what this messy thing is#i apologise for its unorthodox structure#but i wanted to post it before tomorrow#so#my fic#my stuff
292 notes
·
View notes
Text
Blame (Collins x Reader/Farrier x Reader)
Requested by anon: Okay so how about being farriers girlfriend and Collins tracks you down and comes to your house to tell you that he thinks farrier is dead and so Collins comforts you and you both start to hang out and overtime you both fall in love but then surprise, farrier is alive and finds you with Collins
AN: Since you kindly gave me free reign, I’ve written three endings because I love them both so much. Choose your own adventure!
Masterlist PhotoCredit
Your name: submit What is this?
It can be considered that the worst day of your life was when Collins arrived at your doorstep in his RAF uniform the day the papers advertised the success at Dunkirk. He was alone and his expression was solemn to your hopeful one. He didn’t have to say a word for you to understand the reason behind his visit. You remember your legs suddenly giving out from beneath you, banging your head against the wall as you let out a sob and a set of hands clumsily attempting to placate you.
The news of a Spitfire flying with the engine running reached you and it was comforting until you heard that it landed behind enemy lines. That made it worse because you knew then that there was little to no chance of Farrier ever coming home. So you gave up on it and fell into painful grief.
Collins tried his best, bless his cotton socks, but during this period of time it wasn’t really a help. A bitter reminder with every visit for you had always seen Farrier without Collins but not the other way around. Now that was not true. It was an absence that was stuck in your heart like a splinter, nestled deep within the confines of your body with no set of tweezers able to pull it out.
But he disassociated himself with his comrade. He was Collins, not Farrier’s friend, and it was with his letters and his visits during leave that you helped one another through the sorrow. Your friends, family and colleagues were other noteworthy distractions but were soon surpassed with Collins’ lack closeness to your love and therefore the closeness to knowing just how you felt.
It was an evening almost eight months after Dunkirk when you realised that, in spite of wearing Farrier’s dog tags over it, your heart might now belong to someone else. It also coincided with the penultimate night before the end of Collins’ leave. That was a month that he came clean about his own feelings with assurance that you were under no obligation to reciprocate and that his intentions were always to take care of you – for Farrier’s sake. Following his confession, you shed your guilt for harbouring human emotion and allowed yourself to be with him. And you were both happy again.
The world was kind enough to give you an answer to your prayers of aid in these times.
And the world was cruel enough to Farrier him through the strife of living for a year without passage home or any form of communication to anyone to let them know he was alive. To make him live through such adversity and then return home to find everyone had moved on. But he remembered your house. He never once thought to freshen up beforehand because he had to see you.
When you opened the door to an unexpected visitor to say the least, your legs once again were unreliable in supporting you. Farrier met you with a bittersweet smile and you met him with a tight embrace that nearly threw him off balance too.
That was when over your shoulder he saw Collins. That was when you knew you had to make a decision. It was one that swamped your senses as you pulled away from Farrier and at first it was as clear as a muddied puddle to you who you should be with. Only as you looked between them both did it become apparent to you what you had to do.
Collins Ending
Yes, there was going to be an ache in your heart for him for a while but you had moved on from Farrier. You would not be pitiful and go back to him merely to make him feel better even if all you wanted was for him to feel better.
Farrier knew this as well for prior to any interaction with his friend he spoke with you softly.
“I don’t blame you for moving on,” He sniffed as he touched your face, “I didn’t think or expect you to wait for me.” As you looked upon him, you saw how weary he was but he was smiling, putting up an effort for you. Unable to stop weeping, it took you several seconds before you could even speak. Even then, it was a struggled “I’m sorry” that passed your lips.
“Don’t apologise,” He gently kissed your forehead, “You’re who kept me going.”
“I missed you,” You mumbled, feeling rather pathetic but Farrier simply nodded before he helped you back indoors. Once you had a sturdy grip on the walls, he pulled the stiffened Collins into a hug.
Collins joined you in tears as Farrier whispered softly into his ear, “You take good care of her.” Then he pulled away, patted his shoulders and approached the door to the sitting room, “Now where’s your mother with her Victoria Sponge? I’m dying for a slice.”
As he was welcomed into the sitting room with hugs and kisses from your family, Collins stayed with you in the hallway. Recognising the slow pick-up of breathing, he sat with you on the floorboards and waited until you were ready to go back in.
Even as guilt swamped you again, you knew that this was the right decision – to be with the man you could see becoming your husband.
Farrier Ending
He could bear to see you struggle so it was with a heavy heart that Collins took you aside and did the deed himself. He took the hit for you. You insisted that he wasn’t “a distraction” as he claimed, shaking your head frantically, but Collins stopped it, cupping you cheeks as he tried desperately not to cry.
“I know you love him,” He said with his voice thick and throat clogged, “I don’t blame you for that, and I would never stop you from being with him.”
There wasn’t really anything you could say to that, not in the limited time you were given, except a whimpering, “I need to be with him.”
He nodded in understanding, gently touching your cheek in a brief gesture of care before he jokingly said, “It was fun.” But his voice cracked as he continued and wiped your tears away, “Lucky me, I got the opportunity to call you mine. I’ll cherish our time together always.”
There was an unspoken vow between the men as they greeted one another for the first time in a year. There was another as Collins looked at you with a sad smile before placing on his hat and walking away. He didn’t look back and for that you were grateful as you pulled Farrier into a hug and hid your face in his jacket.
Because, as much as you cared for Collins, it could not compare to the relief of being back in the arms of your love Farrier and hear him call you “his one” – something you’d dreamed of for so long after last year’s events.
Other Ending (My Wish Fulfilment basically, I do what I want let me live my life)
The war was over but not without its repercussions. Hence an unorthodox arrangement (but far from what both men had confessed they were uncomfortable with) came about then to an “agreement” of sorts. It was Farrier who brought it up and Collins was the support. All it took was you to concur to it. There wasn’t actually much convincing needed.
Rehabilitation in its best form, you lived with the two men in your own apartment which you could easily afford on three salaries. Not many people questioned you three; with your combined PTSD, they simply took it as friends helping each other get along. They were half right.
Routines slipped into one with ease just as Farrier and Collins did with this new set-up. It pleased you greatly to see them together again – now closer than ever. The only difference in behaviour was really a kiss thrown in here and there but it was a lovely difference that you welcomed and encouraged just as they encouraged each other to kiss you.
Three singles in the same room, a squash for sure but it “aided in transitioning back to normal life” simulating a bunk like structure to the bedrooms akin to the armed forces. That was what you told the landlord of course. In reality, you shoved the beds together to form one oversized bed to share with your partners. You often ended up in the middle of a cuddle pile before bed although you did often treat Farrier with being the little spoon and Collins to hugs from behind throughout the day.
It was the best possible outcome for all of you; that was absolutely sure. If it had to stay between you three, then that was that.
AN: I might write a polyamorous thing with Collins and Farrier, what do you guys think?
Perma-tag: @tomgcsglasses, @lowdenglynnstyles, @prettyboytgc, @lowdensnose, @kgcurtis30, @carneylowdenwhitehead, @scottishlowden and @from-the-clouds
Jack tag: @londonr26
#collins imagine#collins dunkirk#collins x reader#farrier#farrier x reader#farrier imagine#farrier dunkirk#collins#tom hardy#tom hardy imagine#tom hardy x reader#jack lowden#jack lowden imagine#jack lowden x reader#my writing#dunkirk cast#dunkirk imagine#wc: 2k+#r: gender neutral
42 notes
·
View notes