#i am wondering what is so difficult to grasp about the show when watching it unless you lack the ability to understand that

[necromancer-mango]

i wish every person calling wei wuxian a wizard or a warlock a please go look up what cultivation is plus familiarize yourself with the wuxia genre

[darknight3904]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕽𝖆𝖈𝖊

ᴀᴇᴍᴏɴᴅ ᴛᴀʀɢᴀʀʏᴇɴ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ᴏᴄ! ᴛᴀʀɢᴀʀʏᴇɴ

ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴘᴀʀᴛ / ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ /ᴍʏ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇ ᴀᴇᴍᴏɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴀᴅʏ ʀʜᴀᴇʟʟᴀ ʙᴇɢɪɴ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴋɪɴᴅʟᴇ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱʜɪᴘ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴋɪɴɢ ᴠɪꜱᴇʀʏꜱ ᴘʟᴀɴꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ

129 AC

Rhaella wakes to blinding light. Her neck and back are stiff as she tries to straighten up. Falling asleep in the library over a table was not the best for the body.

"Sȳz ñāqes, Rhaella."

Good morning

"Aemond!" Rhaella is surprised to find her cousin resting beside her, his own head is tucked ontop of his arms as he looks at her.

"I came back late last night and found you here." Aemond said

"You could've woken me." She said, sitting up.

"You seemed peaceful, I didn't want to." He says

Silence settles around them as Rhaella finds herself grasping at topics of conversation to discuss with Aemond.

"How was the tavern with Aegon? Did you have to carry him home?" She jests

Aemond's face becomes drawn as he disgests her words. Perhaps she should not have asked, he did say it was not a place for ladies.

"I want to apologize." He says suddenly, "That night at Driftmark, I should not have struck you, I am sorry for any pain I caused you."

"You shouldn't have tried to hurt Luke." Rhaella says with a hum

Aemond's lips form into a tight smile at her words. She can tell he does not share her thoughts on the event.

"Nonetheless, I forgive you. I cannot hold silly grudges for my entire life after all." She says honestly

"Where those your thoughts when you began speaking to Daemon? A silly grudge that had to be dropped?' Aemond asked.

She was not awake enough for a conversation of this depth. Surely Aemond was hungry, her own stomach was rumbling at the prospect of food.

"I tolerate Daemon, he is not my friend," Rhaella says

She rises to depart for breakfast, surely something delicious would be waiting for her in her chambers. The sound of footsteps confirm that Aemond is indeed following her.

"Tell me about this dragon of yours, Rhaella." He says, easily falling into step with her

"You're very chipper today, Aemond." Rhaella smiled, purposefully ignoring his request. It was fun to see him squirm.

"I enjoy the mornings, they are peaceful." He declares, "What of your dragon? Which one did Lady Rhaella Targaryen claim?"

Aemond follows Rhaella to the dragon pit, he wishes she would reveal what dragon was hers. Why was she being so mysterious? It was driving him mad.

"Tell me." He commands

"Isn't showing you better?" She laughed

"It is annoying me," Aemond mumbled

"I'm so sorry, My Prince."

Her tone is mocking but he senses no true malice as they enter the pit. He wonders if Vermithor was going to come out from below. Although he wasn't sure if Vermithor was small enough for the pit, surely he had grown and was closer to Vhagar's size now.

A raucous sound is heard along with the flapping of wings. dazzling white scales that are nearly blinding in the sunlight come into view. Bright blue eyes looked into him as he took in Sōna a dragon who had been deemed unrideable by keepers for years, ever since she had hatched under King Jaehaerys.

Rhaella approaches the beast as if she had known her all her life and gently scratches under the dragon's chin like it was a dog begging for table scraps.

"And how did you manage this, cousin?" He fails to hide his amusement with his words

"I believe she chose me. I simply talked to her and she listened." Rhaella says

"Have you flown yet?" Aemond asked watching the way the beast that seemed to be nearly as large as The Red Queen Melys nuzzle its face toward her.

"Once, on Dragonstone. It was...difficult." Rhaella admits, avoiding his gaze.

"You will only get better with practice." He advises, " Sōna is as inexperienced as you."

"Now you sound like Daemon." Rhaella laughs

"Have them saddle her." He said gesturing to the Dragonkeepers, "We will go for a flight."

"I do not wish-"

"I will meet you in the sky on Vhagar." He declares as he walks away.

He is glad his back is turned as he leaves. The giddy smile that stretches across his face is rather embarrassing.

Rhaella cannot believe she is doing this. The people of Kings Landing look like bugs as she holds tight to Sōna's saddle. The dragon below her lets out a loud trill, communicating her impatience to stop the hovering.

"Umbās, Sōna." She commands

Wait

She searches the skies for Vhagar and Aemond. Surely a dragon of that size would not be easy to miss.

And then, she sees them. Vhagar's large form appears as she rises above the large trees she had been resting under. Aemond looks like a small silver-haired dot on her back as they begin to approach.

"Lykirī, Sōna" Rhaella says when she feels her dragon let out a loud breath

Be calm

As Aemond draws closer, Rhaella can tell he is about to suggest a challenge. His face has a mischievous look about it as he flys past her and out towards the open waters. He is daring her to follow him.

"Soves"

Fly

While Vhagar is huge, a monstrous beast truly, Sōna's speed allows Rhaella to catch up to Aemond and his dragon with ease. Aemond smiles when he sees her flying beside him. Despite the warm feeling it sends though her chest, her nerves are anywhere but calm. She trusts her dragon but it is still terrifying to be so high in the air with nothing but open ocean below.

The wind is deliciously cold as it threads through her hair and clothes. She laughs in delight when she steers Sōna down so that the dragon's belly nearly touches the waters. Aemond remains above, Vhargar's wings casting a shadow over her.

Over the sound of flapping wings and the movement of the ocean water she hears Aemond shout to Vhagar.

"Dracarys!"

A torrent of fire is released from the largest dragon alive's mouth as Rhaella looks up. Aemond emerges from behind the cloud of heat with smoke coating his riding clothes and hair.

Sōna lets out a loud roar, not interested in being forgotten by her new rider.

"Sōvegon adere"

Fly faster

Rhaella lurches in the saddle as her dragon listens. Aemond shouts his own orders to Vhagar and follows closely behind.

The sun streams down on the young dragon riders as Viserys watches from a distance.

"She has claimed a strong dragon, cousin," Rhaenys says

"Yes, she has. Daemon saw to that." Viserys says tiredly

"He has done the girl a favor. She tries to alienate herself from Baela and Rhaena, and now she can fully feel as though she is part of this family. That dragon represents acceptance." Rhaenys says

"Daemon also saw to that alienation." Viserys points out

"He is...trying to bond with Rhaella. She is uninterested." Rhaenys informs him

"Of course she is. He abandoned her an infant and ran off to remarry your daughter." Viserys sighs, "Does she know? Of what Lady Rhea's true fate was? What Daemon did?"

"No." Rhaenys says quietly

"She will know, sooner rather than later. And then Daemon's efforts will be for nothing." Viserys says

He wants his younger brother to have a good relationship with his children. Truly he does. Viserys, even now fears that Daemon's rash actions will destroy those relationships.

"What of Rhaella's marriage prospects, cousin?" Rhaenrys suddenly asks

"What of them?" Viserys asks with a cough. Today has been a worse day for his health, perhaps tomorrow will be better.

"She is close to being of age. Her moonblood is regular as well. I am not sure Daemon is interested in arranging a match." Rhaenys says

"He isn't planning to engage her to Jacaerys? Your letters have always said they get along well. Daemon surely would love the idea of Rhaella being Queen Consort one day." Viserys says, thinking of his dark-haired nephew.

Jacaerys had always been kind-hearted in Viserys' eyes. Unlike his older sons, Jace was not a lustful drunk or a vengeful, overly emotional individual. Rhaenrya's heir was exactly what the Iron Throne would need after his and his daughter's death.

"He is surely too focused on becoming King Consort himself." Rhaenys jokes

Viserys lets out a laugh at that. Daemon who has spent his whole life grasping at power will sit next to his daughter while she rules the Seven Kingdoms.

"If she reaches ten and seven without any prospects, I will arrange a good match for her. Or perhaps Rhaenrya will, she has always been able to bend Daemon's ear, far better than I have. " Viserys says wiping at his mouth.

The soft clang of the door lets him know Rhaenys has taken her leave. Viserys stand again to watch Vhagar and Sōna fly above the sea. The dragon's loud chirps of glee carry across the water to his windows. He smiles as he thinks of his son and niece flying beside each other on Dragonback.

Happy HOTD Sunday!

Short chapters are incoming...I am trying to work out the kinks of major plot points so I'll be building the romance section of the story for a little bit.

a note post viewing of the episode: WHAT WAS THAT DAEMON SCENE WITH ALYSSA WTF?????

Next Part

Comment below to join the taglist. (The taglist is not by chapter, once added, you will remain there unless you ask to be removed.)

Taglist:

@caspianobsessed

@starryhiraeth

@franzelt

@holymusicalmothman

@koobratzy

@schelfinser

@mizuki80

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@sunmigs

@mizuki80

[the-voice-beckons-below]

Not All Is Lost

neytiri (james cameron avatar) x gn! navi reader

summary: after losing your father to the hands of the sky people, you're lost, and vulnerable, and may have to finally face the feelings long overbrewed for the princess of the omatikaya; who already seems preoccupied choosing between her betrothed and the new warrior dreamwalker within the clan.

warnings: miscommunication, grief, mention of death, supposed unrequited feelings, accidental mating, some mention of violence, jealousy, reader thinks neytiri is a goddess btw, because she is fr, two idiots in love.

word count : 1,792

neytiri was to be courted and eventually mated to tsu’tey. they would become a mated pair, neytiri would be the next tsahik and tsu’tey would follow as ole’ekytan. it was the way. you had known this ever since you were small.

so why did it matter now? was it the way the demon named jake sully stared at her, like she was the most precious thing he’d seen? or was it the fact time was closing in until Tsu’tey would have Neytiri as his?

you had known, you had known this. Neytiri was untouchable, dutifully paired off with Tsu’tey because he was a warrior, a leader, a provider. and yet your skin burned at the thought, a selfish voice prodded at your head, that you could be better.

you would tear the flesh of jake sully’s skin if you were permitted, you would carve out tsu’tey’s heart and hand it to her if she so requested.

your envy, your burning jealousy grew by the day, it was gnarly and rough as you trained. your sparring partners were all but thrown about in your silent rage, you spent more time hitting bullseyes than sleeping at this point. several sleepless nights spent glaring at the ceiling were not doing wonders for your health, it seemed Neytiri had snugly plagued every corner of your brain.

it had always been her.

it wasn’t this infatuation that had sprouted one day or a crush that had formed recently. no, this yearning had been prevalent ever since you were children. practicing english after Dr Augastine’s lessons at school, healing your wounds after a difficult hunt, dancing at celebrations, running through the forest while it was raining, watching the wild animals of pandora trot around from afar.

your admiration only grew throughout the years, starting from a curious flame to an aching fire.

and the opportunity to finally confess arrived at the most unfortunate time in your life. grief wasn’t unknown to the omatikaya, in recent years it seemed to have trebled, and you had been lucky enough to dodge the bullet. so far, at least up until now. your father’s body didn’t look real, it looked fake. eywa you wished it was, that his cold body was warm. that maybe he was still breathing, that life welcomed him once more.

but no matter how long you stared, at his now dull skin, that used to shine the brightest cobalt. he did not awaken. he did not budge, he never would again. so you cupped your hands and shakily let a seed from the spirit tree float down, down into the crevice in the ground he would forever be nestled in from now on.

and that’s when she knelt next to you, green eyes scanning your slumped frame. before she could even whisper the words, “i’m sorry.” you had grasped her hand tightly, swallowing the lump in your throat and not bothering to mask the tears. her body had jolted slightly before her own grasp tightened on yours, squeezing your hand in support.

you were friends after all. friends. you suppose that’s all you’d ever be. and what is grief but an accelerant to show your love for others?

your turn had been slow, facing her shakily, the others sharing their condolences had left a long while ago. you had been frozen, sitting there for hours, just staring at his still corpse, shrouded in flora and seeds from the sacred tree. “neytiri.”

“yes. i am here, i am here.” a part of you melted at just that, eywa how lucky you were for her to be here, cosied up next to you. cradling your hand in hers, it was a blessing, that would’ve been appropriately savoured at any other time than this.

“i wish you’d never have to leave.” the admission was almost bitter, the tears cascading down only ran thicker, trailing down the slopes of your cheeks with abandon.

“what do you mean friend?” she shifted closer, dipping her head down so your gaze landed on hers. her beautiful eyes, speckled with green and yellow, so unique, so breathtaking.

“i don’t want to be your friend.” her mouth parted in a silent gasp, a look of offence rushing over her features, but she stayed in place, stubborn for an explanation. “the day sylwanin passed, i had made you a courting gift.”

“…what?”

“it was a necklace, it was clumsy. i was so excited to make it, there were feathers and parts of fractured crystals and my ikran’s tooth. she had broken it, i thought it would symbolise giving you my soul and even more after that.”

“i don’t, i don’t understand.” her grip had faltered and her eyes were frantically blinking.

“my heart broke when i found out sylwanin passed, it broke even more with the news of your betrothal. if i had, talked to you the day before, i- i don’t know. i have loved you, always, the first time i looked at you, i just knew. i can’t, i can’t go the rest of my life pretending that my heart doesn’t belong to you. it does. it will for the rest of eternity. i will lose you, you will never be my mate but i just need you to know neytiri, i know that you will not choose me, you cannot, tsu’tey is good, so is jake, i see the way they look at you. i-“

“you fool.” but the insult held no malice, it held endearment. it took everything within you not to shudder with the sudden movement of your face being cupped, so gently, so..lovingly. “i have wanted to fulfil my duty. i have two men that are courting me, one because he has to, the other because he has fallen in love with me.” one moment the both of you were sitting at the open grave, and the next, she had pulled you up and silently beckoned you to follow until you arrived at the trees of voices.

it was an ethereal sight, people would commonly visit in dark times, in times of struggle, or even, when mating. she spoke again, softly. “these two men, they are strong, very strong.” you sucked in a breath, your wet eyes leaking once again. “no no, do not cry, please do not cry. they are not you.”

“they’re not me? i don’t- i don’t understand.” it had been a long day, so it didn’t take much for your knees to buckle, the confusion and pain of it all was too much to candle. but sweet, perfect neytiri caught you, settling on her knees with her arms wrapped around your torso. keeping you grounded.

“why should i not be allowed to choose from my heart? i have been chasing duty for so what? what would it be worth if i do not have a mate i adore? i respect jake and tsu’tey.”

you held your breath.

“but i adore you.” she crooned, and your slumped posture from earlier returned, this time you leant purely into her. head slotting in the crook of her neck.

“please, tell me this is real.”

“i see you, i love you too.” she whispered in the crown of your head, “i thought that, that it could never happen. you became so cold after i was betrothed, always training, always busy. i missed you.”

“i’m sorry, im so sorry. i was trying to distract myself, but you were always the highlight of my day. whenever i saw or spoke to you, my heart beamed.”

“it is okay yawne, do not apologise.” she pulled you closer, incredibly so, both warm and moulded together. any semblance of control drifted away, the sigh you let out was pure contentment, happiness and giddiness.

“can, can we-“ you were unable to get the words out, shifting slightly and in doing so, accidentally pushed your kurus that had been laying at your sides, together. they wrapped around each other eagerly, intensely interlocking and in doing so, you and neytiri cried out brokenly. equally as startled at the hundreds of sensations now invading your senses.

you locked eyes frantically, and after a moment’s long silent pause. both laughed, airy and disbelieving. tsaheylu had been made, your kurus had practically sought each other, intertwining desperately. you felt her, the potency of her emotions weren’t like any other. it coursed through you, love, adoration, endless bouts of affection hurtled straight towards you.

“my mate.” you breathed, cocooning into whatever skin of hers you could reach. “my glorious mate.” attentive fingers caressed her soft cheeks, they ran down her cobalt chest, pressing deeply against a bare breast. right above her beating heart. “i will protect this, your soul. i vow it.”

neytiri’s smile was bound to hurt from how wide it stretched her pink gums. “it was not how i expected this to go.” she admitted sheepishly, a rare sight. the colour in her face saturated, blooming into a warm plum. “this day, it has been long for you.”

you nodded, still shaken up. “yes.” you thumbed her intricate braids, “yes it has. but i would not trade it. i have lost, and i have gained.” slowly, you pulled her close, enough so that you both were enveloped. “tsu’tey and jake will kill me.”

“they would be foolish to try.” she hissed, quietly. warmth seeping into you.

“what about your mother? your father? will your title be strippe-“

“do not worry. all is as it should be.” neytiri nuzzled deeper, melting into her newfound mate. “we will get through it. rest.”

sleep chased you, and right there, at the tree of souls, you drifted off. grief tucked behind your ribs and love driven into your guarded heart. her own arms went slack, but the loose hold remained, two new lovers bathing under sacred light, ready to defy the odds. to go against tradition.

love was never easy.

“what if, i don’t deserve this? deserve you?” you had tentatively said the next morning, caressing the curves of her face. unsure if you were prepared to walk into hometree, to see the judging stares towards you. undoubtedly towards you, because neytiri was the heavens plucked from the sky, would you be deemed worthy enough to settle by her side?

“you worry too much.” her lips found purchase on your temple, pressing so delicately that they might’ve not been felt at all if you weren’t paying attention. “eywa has willed it so, you are meant for me. you are mine, mine. and i am yours, i wouldn’t want to be anyone else’s.” she smiled, challengingly, “if anyone dares to disagree, they will face my bow.”

you laughed disbelievingly, how could someone so sweet be equally as deadly? it was, intoxicating. cupping the strongest and the most beautiful person in all of existence. “then, i shall be your arrow.”

author's note: dude, first of all what do we think of the dividers? (i made them myself!!), i think theyre beautiful and i think ill put them up for others to use with credit. honestly glad i finally finished this one shot, the feeling of it to me is very beautiful, theres grief, sadness, jealousy and so much love. above all when i write, i prioritise emotion and i hope people are able to see that.

i also hope my depiction of neytiri isnt too mischaracterised, shes such a beautiful character, one of my favourites actually. this is also a hard launch for my blog and first fic. i cant wait to write more!! anyway to show youve enjoyed this like likes, comments and reblogs are so appreciated and motivate me to continue writing. it goes for all authors, dont be quiet or silent if you really enjoy something!! ive rambled enough LMAO (my bad my bad), let me know your thoughts :]

[hidden-poet]

President Snow part 3

Previous chapters; 1 and 2

Summary; After Lucy-Grey there was you.

warnings; slavery, Uncon, angst, dark!Coriolanus snow.

3/3

"Did you hear? Y/n L/n was sold into maids standing by her father last year". Festus creed plopped another Hors d'oeuvre into his mouthlike he was talking about the weather.

Coriolanus feels his body still at his words. The drink he pushed to his lips couldn't make its way into his mouth. He had looked for you at every social function. Even called upon where you once lived, only to be turned away by a new family living there.

He had assumed you had married and your family followed to where your new husband lived. If he was a manufacture he properly lived closer to the districts. The thought made him sick.

But no. You had been waiting for him. Training for him for the past year in maid training.

"I was thinking of adding her to my collection of the fallen"

Coriolanus's blood boils at the thought.

"Who?" Clemensia asks matching the almost bored expression of Festus.

"You know Arthur's daughter. The Banker who was stealing from the Pamen National bank. His daughter was a few years below us. Used to play on the volley ball team".

"When does she go to auction?" Clemensia warms at his words. She remembered her after all.

"Why so you can steal her from me?"

"What use would we have for a girl trained in fine arts and history? it won't make her a better floor scrubber. Right, Coriolanus?"

"i am still not sure who you are talking about" Coriolanus lied.

----------

Coriolanus returns home later then usual. He had gone to a party but normally he only made a quick appearance for an hour or two before returning. But this time he returned well into the night.

You wouldn't have minded if it hadn't of got so late. You were tired and he hated to come home to find you asleep. When you heard the door unlock you knew you would only have to stay up for an hour more.

As he entered the room to find you laying on the bed watching TV, he doesn't crawl over to you or demand you help him undress.

Instead he takes a dress out of your closet, that was mostly filled with his extra clothes, and tosses it to you.

"I have a surprise for you. Get dressed".

You do as your told taking off your nightdress in front of him and putting on the dark blue sun dress.

He eyes you slowly before taking your hand and leading you down the hall to the living room.

You wondered about the surprise and the need to dress for it. Normally his surprises entailed the exact opposite.

It made sense when you turned the corner and saw an elderly man sitting on the large white couch.

You heart leaps at the sight of your father sitting in the living room.

"dad" you cry tearing your hand from Coriolanus . He gets up upon seeing you and you both throw your arms around each other.

"Oh my baby". His arms felt safe and secure.

Coriolanus is quick to breck up the scene, taking you back into his grasp with a tight hold on your wrist. He brings you to the other side of the couch, away from your father.

"given your rise i thought you might like the opportunity to buy back your daughter" Coriolanus spoke with a cold hard tone.

Your toes curled in excitement. You were going home and you were going home a lady.

Your father straightened his back and shook off imaginary weight from his shoulders.

"I sure would. How much did you pay?"

"Less then what she is worth and less then what she is currently worth after my teachings".

You shudder. He was going to make this more difficult then it had to be.

"Lets start at a thousand panars".

"Let me show you the door at a thousand panars. My shoes cost more".

You wrap your hand around Coriolanus's wrist as he held yours. That was a good offer he spat at.

"Please Coriolanus" you beg.

-------

Coriolanus had a private showing at the slave quater the very next morning.

It was the earliest he could convince the owner of the house to have a showing. Which still wasn't early enough for him.

He paced through lines of young girls trying to find you. He remembered what you liked like at the Academy but people had a awful habit of changing.

He stopped in front of one girl who could have been you. Roughly the same height as he remembered. Same color eyes, although he never saw them up close so he couldn't be certain. Her hair seemed a lighter shade of Y/H/C and her nose seemed larger.

He continued satisficed that she most likely was not the girl he was looking for. He continues through the line of girls all dressed neatly in simple white dresses. They were more like potato sacks with arm holes.

They were organized according to training and skill. The girls who had been with the house the longest and received the most training were shown first.

He skipped the queue, you wouldn't be amongst them. He started in the middle and grew more frustrated as he neared the end. He knew once he spotted you he would know.

He scanned ahead looking for your hair color and height.

He saw a possibility far off and bee lined for it, ignoring the words of the owner as he took off.

Once he stood in front of you, he knew without a doubt that you were her. His Y/N.

You had barely changed from his memory. You had lost a little bit of weight no doubt from the stress of it all. Your eyes had dulled over a tad and your hair was less shiny and neat, but all the same you were as he remembered.

"President Snow, she is only trained as a house maid. She wouldn't be trained adequately for you", the owner of the house explained.

"Good then I don't have to train her out of annoying habits".

You looked worried, and he wondered if it was at the thought of being chosen or at not being chosen.

"Open your mouth" His first command to you.

You do and he pretends to check your teeth. Not an unordinary practice for a buyer but not of interest for Coriolanus.

He had longed to exert control over you.

Walking to school he would day dream to make the trek bearable in his tight shoes.

He dray dreamed he would find you at school and pluck the flowers out of your hair. "Don't wear these. They make you look childish" he would say.

At lunch time he would take the liberty of filling both your plates with food of his choice while you trailed close behind him.

You would wait for him after each class at his place of choosing. sometimes waiting just outside the door while he astonishes the classroom with his hard learned knowledge. He was sure he was going to get the Plinth prize and go off to university. There would be no need for you to do the same.

But his poverty kept him shackled and your money (however so dwindling) kept you safe.

Before if he told you to open your mouth for inspection you would laugh at him, now if he told you to hop on the spot, you would hop.

"how much?" he asked the sweaty little owner.

They agreed and you were tossed in the sold cage while Coriolanus filled out paperwork. He tired not to seem egger to collet you.

He had never personally brought a maid and had no idea it involved this much paper. He only glanced at whatever he was signing, trusting the person who explained each document to him.

When he was finally allowed to go collect you, he found himself stuck at the door.

How would he approach this? should he call you by your name to show he knew you or place the burden on you to make the connection.

You never even talked to him in school but perhaps you shared the same quiet fascination with him.

If not, he was still President Snow, and you were a loyal subject. He could image you would be awe-struck at the opportunity to serve him.

He yanked open the door and walked with powerful strides. You were sitting in the holding cell, curled into a ball on the floor.

You got up upon seeing him, and came closer to the bars.

"Here" he held out a cold water bottle that he got from the owners assistant. He wished he drank some of it. He would have spat in it if he had registered that he was going to give it to you.

his action took you both by surprise. But you take it.

"Thank you, President Snow".

He gained no sense of familiarity with your words.

He waited for a 'we went to school together' or a 'I always knew you were going to be President of Panem'.

But nothing came. You drank your water and even separated yourself from the bars.

You gave no sign you recognized him from the Academy days. You gave no plea to his sense of fellowship, or tried to give yourself false standing upon your upbringing.

When he had asked about your standing you had told him you were born into your situation. A bold move to someone who held your paperwork in his hand. The entire history of you, as well as your in and outs.

Still he didn't correct you. Perhaps you were waiting to pull the secret past card for a rainy day.

"Your name is Y/N? is that correct"

two could play the i don't remember game.

You nod.

"Well Y/N, in about 10 minutes two peacekeepers will come and take you to a van where you will be escorted to the Presidential estate. From there the Headmistress will make you presentable and begin your training as my servant".

His hands curl around the bars and he pushes himself closer to you.

"I have high expectations of you. Don't disappoint me".

-----------

'Coriolanus please. I'll come back any time you want me to. Do anything for you. But please let me return home".

Your words took his mind breifly to imagining a different life with you. They never caught him for cheating and with the Plinth prize under him, he took your hand in marriage.

And yet still, in his imagation you stood in the living room, perhaps better dressed, and said the same words.

He really did just want to own you.

Coriolanus said nothing and turned his eyes back to your father.

"You made a deal with Mr Grenge for 300 million panams. So my price for Y/N is 300 million panams"

"that's everything" he father mutters.

'She is everything". You didn't believe it. Not to him.

"I-I Can't. I'd be ruined again".

"You could always sell her back. At a discount of course".

'Please" you try again.

"It would be a fun 18 hours for you" Coriolanus taunts.

"we could pay in instalments" you father tries.

"Do i seem like a patient man?"

"Patient enough to wait for your time to strike" Your father is seething, "It wasn't surprise I felt about her being here, only dread".

Coriolanus smirks trying to hide it by rubbing his forefinger across his bottom lip.

" I saw you every time I picked her up from school. Lingering in the background like a parasite. Coriolanus Snow's got eyes for my daughter, I thought to myself, how harmful could he truly be".

He dad crosses the boundary of the living room table. His face contorted with anger.

"Then I saw you dangle that poor district 12 girl in the Hunger games. You were no harmless school boy, I realized, you were your fathers son. And that is a very dangerous thing to be".

"Careful. You don't speak to that school boy now. President Snow is who you address, and you've said enough to get yourself hanged".

You place a hand on Coriolanus shoulder as if to keep him pinned to the chair.

"Y/N I am so sorry. He was gone when I sold you. I thought you'd be house maid to one of the lady's. I never thought he'd get his hands on you".

The old man takes you into his arms. His baby daughter who he threw directly into the mouth of the wolf.

"No sale has been made yet" Coriolanus reminds him, "Do we have a deal of 300 million panems or are you touching some one else's property?".

--------

The first few months in the presidential estate were terrible and Coriolanus saw to it.

You were beaten for everything for quick training. Even things you were sure you did right were wrong.

He had to give it to you, despite your privileged up bringing, you were a hard worker. Every time he checked on you, which was often, you were never found sitting down. Always on the move scrubbing something, dusting something, organizing lien cupboards.

He only caught you once reading a passage from a poetry book kept in the library. Old habits die hard, he supposed. He remembered you loved to read.

You would often read stretched out in the sun during lunch time at the academy garden. Coriolanus would watch from the schools library window, when he should have been studying. You again were interfering with him being the best he could be.

He called upon you during your dinner time. Requesting your presence in his office.

When you entered you saw your headmistress standing on the opposite side of the desk.

Coriolanus sat in his chair, looking bored. His head resting in his hand, not looking at the headmistress or you. Just staring blankly at his desk.

As you enter you can see the wooden Cain and the poetry book laying flat on the desk. Your legs turn to jelly the closer you got.

"President Snow. Headmistress" you greet.

"Which poem was it that caught your eye?" The old women grumbled.

You bring your hands to your chest and wring them together. You were still sore from your beating last night. You weren't sure you could take another one.

"i was only checking the book. The pages seemed loosed".

"Are you suggesting that the presidential estate would house such a book?"

You try and back track on your lie. Blaming lack of sleep and food for your mistake of the falling pages.

Coriolanus reaches for the book, flipping it to a random page and placing it back on the desk.

"Place your hands on the desk and read it" The headmistress demands, picking up the cain.

You face Coriolanus who watches you from his seat. You eyes swell with tears that spilled on it the page. He would keep the book in his draw rather than the library.

''My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk''

The headmistress brings the cain down upon your back, and your sentence comes out as a yelp.

"Or, or, or emptied some dull-ll opiate to the drains One minute past, and Lethe-wards had-saH-Sunk!".

It strikes after each pause. Your hands curl into fists upon the page.

"Tis,not,through,envy,of, thy,happy,lot" You rush and two strikes come down upon your back.

"Cheeky girl!" your headmistress reprimanded.

"But being too happy in thine happines" you slow.

He closes his eyes to the sound of the Cain coming down and images the school garden. Both school children again in the red uniforms. You lay in the sun together. Coriolanus rested his head on your lap as you read out your poem. You stroke his hair and he feels the warm sun on his face.

Your desperate act pulls him from his day dream. He looks at the women before him. A women he owed.

No school children in sight; the President of Panem and a slave take their place.

You finish your poem looking up to him for salvation. You do not receive it.

"Again" he demanded.

He wouldn't leave during your nightly flogging. He would lock the door and free his cock from his trousers. He loved the thought of you so vunruable, so brusied and battered at his command.

He would image you with your dress down, tied to the whipping post as he brought the whip down on you. He imaged your squirming and crying for him. God, there was nothing he loved more than control.

He would wait until the flogging was announced to be over before he would return home.

He was always so sure that you would come to him the very next morning and beg for him to save you from the whipping post. Exchanging anything in return.

-----------

"I am so sorry. I have your mother to look after. She's not been well Y/N"

"Dad you can't leave me here"

"We'll visit" He insisted.

"No you won't"

You both turn to Coriolanus in his chair, half forgotten he was there.

"We'll write to you"

"It won't be delivered"

"I am sorry" your father finally accepted, 'Maybe once I make more money".

"Daddy please" you whine. He won't be given another chance, you know it. You weren't sure this chance was entirely truthful.

"I am so sorry" he repeats pulling away from you. He rushes to collet his things. You aim to go to him, to hold him one last time but Coriolanus rises from his chair.

He takes your hand in a tight grip.

"You'll find a maid downstairs. She'll help you to the door".

Your father looks at Coriolanus with hate filled eyes, but nodded his head in understanding. President Snow held all the cards, you both were nothing but pawns for him to entertain himself with.

'So sorry we could not do business together".

Your father doesn't answer too overcome with emotion of selling his daughter for a second time. He rushes away in shame and you fall to your knees.

Coriolanus lets go of your hand so you could curl yourself into a ball on the floor.

He lets you sob and heave on the floor by his feet. He knew telling you to stop would be a waste of breath.

He waits until you can control your breath again before he crouches down next to you.

He snakes a arm under your side to pull you to his chest. His arm curls around your shoulders to keep you there, while his hand cradles the back of your head. He rests his cheek against the top of your head while you sob. Loudly and painfully, you sob into his chest.

You can hear footsteps pounding down the hall way and you knew it was Clemessia.

"Get her to stop or I'll hang her by her feet in my study. She'll wake the children".

Coriolanus raises his eyebrows at her but does not uncurl his body from you to follow her command.

You quieten anyway. It's fine, you tell yourself, you've lost nothing.

You hold your breath counting to a slow ten and then release it a couple of times. It helped regain your composure.

Coriolanus unhooks himself from you and reaches into his breast pocket to pull out his handkerchief. He wipes your face clean from snot and tears with an emotionless expression.

You weren't sure you could walk so when he picked you up and took you back to the bedroom you were thankful to not have to find out.

----------

Coriolanus spits his tea back into the cup.

There was nothing wrong with it. But he loved how panicked you got.

Your lips would part, your eyes fell wide, your chest would puff up.

How could there be something wrong with the tea again.

'i am so sorry, President Snow. I'll make another" You go to take the cup back.

'What's the point? You disturb me every time you come with another pot".

"I'll try not to in the future, Sir".

"what good are your efforts. I've watched you try for the past six months. You only slightly improved".

'i can do better. I will do better".

He loved the grovel.

"maybe the night without supper would help to refocus your mind?"

Your body tensed, and he could feel the anger radiating off you, even if he couldn't see it upon your face.

'Is that a good idea?" he teased.

"Yes, Sir" You tried not to spit the words.

"Good. Then it's settled. Go about your chores".

The next day he offered you a biscuit from his tray, and said nothing about his tea. Even through this one was too sweet for his liking.

It was the first time your hunger overtook your pride. You took it with a small thanks, excusing yourself at the first opportunity.

he watched the camera link. You had gobbled the biscuit down as soon as the door closed behind you.

Once a lady now a beggar.

-------

He took you to the bedroom and laid you down.

You didn't move. You couldn't move.

He talked as he undressed you.

"I know that was painful for you but you needed to see it".

He yanked your dress over your hand, leaving you in only your panties.

You turn from him to your side but he flips you back.

tears still run down your face but you make no noise.

"Why. So you could see it?" you bit.

"At some point you have accept your life here".

He slides your panties down your legs, leaving them on the floor.

"was it true?" you ask, "that we both went to the Academy".

"yes. I had a terrible crush on you for many years". Crush he called it but it couldn't be further from the truth.

"i never even noticed you all those years". The sentence stung him a bit.

He places his lips on your neck and bites down. You wiggle under him, pushing on his shoulders.

"You are making me suffer because you had a school boy crush?"

He rises up and undresses himself from his many layers.

"i am making you suffer because I can". He makes haste with the many buttons on his vest.

His sentence quietens you. He could make you suffer just because he wanted to. he could make your family suffer just because he wanted to.

He rips the clothes from his body, leaving them a messy pile on the floor.

He drags you to the center of the bed and crawls on top.

"In any case who would you rather, me, President of Panem, or some old business man, bored with his wife. That's who you would have gone to".

You try and turn to your side again but his hands catch your shoulders and bring them flat on the mattress again.

"You should really say thank you". He pumps himself over you.

You don't say anything, and your ungratefulness resulted in a harsh hold on your chin.

"Say it. Say thank you" he demands.

"Thank you" You spit hard and fast.

"Thank you, President snow". He nudges your legs further apart and lines himself up to your entrance.

"Thank you, President SNow" he enters you without warning and starts a steady thrust.

It had been years with him. Sex with him wasn't something you even blinked at. On occasion you could have even been called a participant.

But not tonight. You couldn't even rock your hips for your own feeling. You just lay there and take it.

Something about night had made Coriolanus feel like a school boy again, and he took it out in his hard and rough thrusts. He was President Snow and you would remember it.

He begins to sing the national anthem of Panem.

"Oh, Horn of Plenty One Horn of Plenty for us all! And when you raise-ah- the cry The brave shall heed the call And we shall never falter, hmm"

He grunts in your ear. He pushes himself upright where with his new position he places both his hands on your hips and pulls you closer so your legs were hooked over his hips.

"And when we raise the cry-y the brave shall heed", he huffs, "the call and we shall never fall"

He new position gave him deeper thrusts. As the song ends his hips loose their rhythm.

"Oh, Capitol Your glorious diamond shine A tribute to' The darkest days behind Oh! One Horn of Plenty for us all"

He bucks his hips as he leans back over you on the bed, a hand resting by the side of your head to keep his weight off you and the other used to keep your leg over his hip.

He never fully leaves you before he slams back in.

He groans as he cums, letting you milk him of anything he had left. Even after that he remains in you.

Coriolanus lets out a short breathy laugh, dropping your leg and pushing his body down on you. You huff in protest but he doesn't care. Placing small kisses and bites along your skin.

You remain still. Numb from the events of the night. You didn't even say goodbye to your father. You knew you would never see him again.

Coriolanus spent by using you, rests his head on your chest.

"Someday some one will kill you for your wrong doings, Coriolanus". You warn.

He chuckles in response. It won't be by his doll.

----

Years later you stand in the crowd watching Katniss Everdeen raise her bow and arrow at Coriolanus.

You smile waiting for her to let go. You could see Coriolanus's eyes searching for you in the crown, unable to find you as hide amongst the people, before his settles on the eyes of his executer.

"MockingJay, may your aim be as true as your heart is pure".

The arrow flies but enters the heart of the Coin.

Coriolanus begins to laugh, blood spilling from his mouth as he does.

As the blood coats his shirt it is a reminder of his misdeeds. Against his people, his family, and importantly you.

You charge taking along a crowd of people with you.

[marvelnatswhore]

Paper cuts 

Lady dimitrescu X reader~fluff?

Sum: you learn what happens when blood is shed around your lady

Warnings ?: small mentions of blood, a little blood sucking, somewhat sexual??

WC: 727

A/N: I know someone requested another lady d fic and I'm sorry! I am doing it, I'm just procrastinating :’) 

don't ask me what this is i just liked the title heh

✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧⧗✧

Your work for the Lady wasn’t difficult. You were certainly treated better than many, but it was long, tiring and sometimes painful.

You often wondered if she thought of you as decoration more than a maid. Your role for the most part was to sort the mail addressed to the Dimitrescu household. 

You had a small desk near your lady’s study and she would often come to check on you and your work. It never lessened your nerves no matter how many times she would lean above you with those deep golden eyes. 

Your fingers were starting to hurt from today’s letters, hundreds of small paper envelopes addressed to your lady, most from townspeople requesting an audience with her, for whatever it was they so urgently required.

You had few rules compared to most women you worked with, Alcina seemed to have taken a liking to you and you were somewhat thankful for it. 

one of those rules was, you were never to touch the letters with the golden seal and two cursive M’s joined in the centre. You often wondered who they were from, you knew no one in the village could afford the quality they came in, but she made it clear she didn’t want questions about the letters, simply that they should be left untouched. 

She was working near you today and seemed to find any excuse to come check on you. Sometimes she would just stare and watch you work, hovering above you and giving you a small compliment before leaving you. 

Other times she would put her hand on your shoulder and have you sit still while she examined the letters you had sorted, whispering “good girl,” and running her hand through your hair as she left. You tried to ignore the way you felt when she called you that, you knew part of you was afraid of her, knowing the stories of her and the things she has done, but you couldn’t deny the way she made you feel. 

She hadn't come to see you in awhile now, apart from a small reminder to go have some food. A letter you were holding at the moment slipped out of your grasp too quickly as you broke the red seal and you winced, hissing as it cut along the side of your finger like a blade.

The slit was small but quick crimson drops began to seep out.

“Ouch-” You don’t mean to be so loud and your lady clearly takes notice. You listened to her rise from her desk and come to stand behind you, towering over you, no less. You almost cowered under her shadow.

“What was that, dear?” She asks, her voice sounds somewhat concerned and it almost touches your heart to hear. You remained quiet under her gaze with your hands held together, you can feel the blood dripping from your finger into your palm and your lady sighs above you.

“I can smell the blood dear. Show me your hand.”

You tried not to look afraid as you turned your chair to give her your hand and you were surprised at how gently she took it; kneeling to your level and examining the cut carefully.

She brought your finger to her lips and something in her eyes seemed starved. You nearly yelled as her mouth opened and you feared she’d bite it off. 

You instead feel the warmth of her tongue, licking along the translucent red that stained your finger. swiping away the crimson. You don't miss the way she inhales sharply at your taste. The cut is fresh and another drop runs out. She pulls your digit into her mouth and you let her, as she sucks the length softly and you watch her, captivated. 

She removes your finger from her lips, groaning softly, and she clears her throat. If you didn’t know better you’d have thought she looked embarrassed. 

“Forgive me dear, that was..well, I haven’t done that in many years.” “You taste divine.”

You can’t hide the blush that forms quickly on your cheeks from that compliment, even if she was talking about your blood, part of you wanted her to say it again. Your eyes stayed staring into hers as she seemed to admire you for a moment. You never realised how beautiful they were.

"Thank you, my lady."

...

[bonesandthebees]

I need to scream about Niki actually. [The way her expression shuttered, disbelief followed by pure, sharp grief flashing through her eyes.] Bee let me hug her. [she had blinked twice before all emotion disappeared from her face, leaving nothing but an expressionless mask.] LET ME HUG HER, BEE!

She’s so good at keeping her emotions in check and playing pretend and showing everyone what they want to see. A girl who quietly grieves but powers through it. (Also, her reaction settles that she had no hand in this at all. Like you can argue she expected him to think his was out if she knew but then she would not have THAT reaction).

I wonder if she’s dissociating while eating. Because she’s not really present, but then again she’s able to snap back when hearing her own name.

Then there’s Q [but the moment most eyes turned away from him, this facade would crumble. His face would fall, and something haunted would shine through his eyes.] The ‘something haunted’ especially gives me the vibe he had a hand in this without knowing Wilbur would be there too. And now he regrets it. (Also, unlike Niki, he’s not really eating).

Side note: I just realised you gave them salmon, isn’t that the fish Tomys and Wilbur eat? Also, [Phil watched the shadows dance over the painting of black roses that lorded over the room, and he took a moment to bow his head at it before turning his attention towards his desk.] I am 👀 at this? Is his praying for his son’s survival? His safe return?

Anyway, back to how Phil sees people. [She was smart, after all. She understood that Phil was not a man to confide in.] this man is so cold and I love him. Niki knows not to show him her weakness if she wants that crown. And yet here she is. (Oh that’s literally the next line in text, oops). That very much tells you Phil is going to use this opportunity, even in their shared grief.

Also, I missed the timeline completely upon first reading. Niki saw Schlatt 2 nights before Wilbur and Tomys left. So it was indeed arranged before Wilbur would tag along. That boy got really unlucky, so did Phil, really. (I think that’s before the war room but it’s been a while). I wonder if that was why she acted off that night. Was she debating telling him? Or was it really just the aftermath of the war room? Or Wilbur’s behaviour in general?

P.s. I remember why I analyse your writing, I thought I’d gotten everything in my previous ask about the chapter, but there’s so much more I just did not remember.

(2/?)

-🌲

niki needs a hug so badly my girl is suffering 😭😭😭 but even with the turmoil she's going through, she's still aware of how the people around her are perceiving her. she's still trying to put up a mask because she knows these games never pause. she's trying to act as a queen would act—carrying on because time doesn't stop due to grief. but it's really, really difficult for her.

I loved differentiating how quackity and niki both react to wilbur being missing. quackity knows the same as niki that you have to carry on as a monarch, but he handles it in such a different way. in a way, it's like niki shuts down all nonessential emotions/functions to focus on not visibly breaking down. quackity keeps things running at full speed including his emotions, so he's able to pretend to be as cheerful and happy as ever but then he can't stop himself from visibly slipping back into his grief.

yes the salmon is what tommy and wilbur ate! it's not really a reference to anything, I just view Arestes as having a very seafood dominated diet due to having a very large fishing industry thanks to their proximity to the sea, and salmon happens to be my favorite fish to eat lol

hmm maybe there was a prayer or something there ;)

phil is incredibly cold and will use people even at their lowest. while wilbur is somewhat aware of that, he doesn't fully grasp just how dangerous his father can really be. niki, however, does. she's known phil basically her entire life. that is her best friend's father. and she's never felt like she can trust him. certainly tells you something about how others view phil.

niki and wilbur's talk after the war room happened before niki saw schlatt in the gardens. she was acting off because of what happened in the war room. it was only after wilbur left she tried to sleep but couldn't because of that whole thing. and while in the past niki has always gone to wilbur when she can't sleep, after the war room for some reason she didn't want to (or didn't feel like she should). hence why she went into the gardens alone, and witnessed schlatt's secret meeting.

[vixthefantheorist]

Going Back through to Argentum Inanis (the audio of the Video)

So earlier... -looks at time- last night, I popped out a theory ramble on @smoliboops post about the badges of Anomaly Found and from there some peeps also threw their thoughts on it, @n-anon being one of them and also @scarlet-witch-angel made one on it, very good theories and thoughts all around. I also thank @intothebutterflyburrow for having it appear on my dash when he reblogged it. Thank you! :D

So yeah I saw smoliboops' post, rambled like a loon for an hour typing it on phone about my thoughts, which activated Scarlet witch's theorist brain (:D) and made her own theory, which I found very interesting. I do need to get around to reading those theories you mentioned, Scarlet, I'm curious.

Anyway, what she pointed out in the audio of Argentum Inanis of Anti sounding like he said "Oh! I found the Time!" Which intrigued me, I spoke with @septicuniverse (I have her on Discord) because she was curious of what I thought of Scarlet's theory (I loved it); but I also wondered if that's what Anti said in the video.

Which brings me to yeeting my theorist ass over to the video and listen to it... it was pretty garbled with warped vocals and sirens screeching because Anti had to talk to Marvin through Silent Hill's phoneline. (I SWTG ANTI... SPEAK MORE CLEARLY OR I WILL WRING YOUR NECK!)

But it was possible to hear what Scarlet heard, but I decided to rip the audio from the video and yeet it into Audacity! (-jazz hands- Everyone's favorite game of Clear That Audio!) Yeah, we all know I'm not the best at all with these... but I try.

But I was messing with the audio to try to clear things up. As well as practice with audio volume~

And... I got a few different lines that I could make out in the audio because you know garbled mess.

The first one I heard was "Do you want in? There's time!" which made me believe Anti was very well aware of Marvin's presence with the orb and taunted him from watching Anti's work in the safety of his magical home/lair... where the hell Magic man lives. Thus inviting him into the chaos he was making, curious to see if Marvin can and will do anything.

And given Scarlet's information of Sean and Robin implying that the black eyes on Marvin showed him being possessed by Anti... which led me to believe he took the challenge... and failed. For that timeline maybe... (I guess?) or Marvin allowed Anti to possess him to see if he could glean any information from Anti's connection to him to try to turn the tide of this chaos Anti was causing. Does he succeed? I have no idea.

But wanting to be doubly sure, I tweaked and listened to the audio again for another hour, and then realized that it wasn't 'In' but 'Him' in the audio. Which turns it to "Do you want him? There's time!" which shocked the hell out of me because that made a bit more sense, thinking to Anomaly Found, there were was a small group that broke into the IRIS facility to do something, whether to break Chase out, or break themselves out if they were captured (or let them capture to try to get closer to Chase) or something else altogether that had them fucking around in the building at the time Anti decided to turn into into his personal playground.

Anti knew Marvin was watching his movements, watched everything he did, trying to find or understand what the hell Anti was doing and why (or he knew and trying to locate his main victim to prevent shit from happening). Either way, Anti was well aware of Marvin watching him and taunted him about having Chase in his grasp and if Marvin wanted to stop Anti, he had to act. Again, Anti inviting Marvin to challenge him for Chase's freedom and fix everything... somehow. I'm just guessing here.

Again, I wanted to be doubly sure and I knew I couldn't really clean the audio as well as I wanted to... it's just too difficult for me even though I am trying really hard on these... and figured to roll all the changes back to start clean and try new things to do with it to fix it up.

Lo and behold, I fucking heard it in the audio in its original form... if only the siren wasn't there it'd be clearer. But... It's still the same "You want him? There's Time!" but... I realized, in hearing it and looking to the audio image... the first half of the saying is cut off...

"Do you want him__- There's Time!"

Which made me realize -why- the second half was garbled. It wasn't just the screeching siren Anti loves so much, but the fact the first half of the audio overlapped the second.

And I had to listen to this several more times trying to focus on the overlap and I heard it... because the second half of the first sentence not only overlaps but warped into a robotic sound.

"Do you want him -back, MARVIN-? There's Time!" (or 'First... TRY!' of Anti taunting Marvin for not doing anything but yearning to get 'him' back. So if he wants 'him' back he has to at least DO something rather than wait for someone else to do it for him)

(PLEASE for the love of Theorist Gods, be careful with the audio... It's kinda loud since I did fiddle with the amplify feature of Audacity to raise the volume some... I hope at least. I mean it's not a whisper but still be careful. I don't want anyone having ringing ears or going deaf because of me. D: )

^ That is the original audio just amplified.

^And that one is the edited one that's a little lower but still kinda loud but I edited it to try to make it as clear as possible. This one since I was trying to dampen out the background noise, the robotic "back, Marvin" is bit harder to hear but its still there (or easier, depending on whose listening to it)

I was fucking FLOORED when I heard that. (Or I have lost my mind... if its that then I apologize, my fellow theorists and fans of the Septic Egos) This just leads more of the fact that Anti and Marvin KNOW each other on some level. Which opens up a slew of other possible theories or lends some weight to already existing ones of Marvin and Anti having some kind of history.

Now comes the question of which 'Him' Anti is taunting Marvin with. Chase? Given that Chase is the protag and the main target of Anti. Makes sense.

But... remember who else was captured by Anti~

That's right! JJ!

It makes SO MUCH SENSE NOW! Especially with all those other theories I've seen of JJ and Marvin knowing each other. JJ's First Appearance! He fell through Time and ended up in the past. And him mentioning that he arrived far too early! (why was he there in the first place? What did he mean by that? That was never answered because Anti too possession of him and swept him away.)

THEN we have JJ's Jolly Jaunts! A puppet stage that has the symbols of the main cards on it and looked something part of a stage show for the younger kids. Why does it have the card symbols, something Marvin has on his own mask, on it and not just JJ's own flair? Unless, the two were partners in magic shows. Marvin took care of the older audience with his magic and JJ took care of the younger audience with his stories, songs with the puppets.

It's possible that not only Marvin was part of the Magic Circle but JJ was as well. I mean why else would Marvin just hurl him in time with actual magic if the Magic Circle was very secretive of this stuff... especially the Inner Magic Circle, unless JJ was a member too?

And in Jolly Jaunts, Anti taunts Marvin with a puppet show and clearly shows JJ's state of being and helplessness. JJ, himself, at the end of it pleads for someone to help him. Pleading to Marvin to help him.

Just HOLY SHIT... this goes deep, guys... Damn, Sean you are fucking good at this. Guys, we really need to start paying attention to the audio... it can crack some shit wide open with them.

But yeah... just my rambling thoughts... again... Thank you all for reading if you made it this far. I apologize that I rambled your ears off.

Edit :

I wrote this in the middle of the night. I really need to stop doing that lol. But do keep in mind that this is all assumptions and theory based on some garbled audio.

I don't know if Marvin and Anti (or rather Argentum Inanis) have history together in the not so friendly terms. (Likely they do since the Magic Circle has a book on Argentum and time spells.)

Nor do I know for certain if JJ and Marvin also have a history together as friends, let alone partners of a magic show. Or if JJ was a part of the Magic Circle.

Hell for all we know Anti could have taken Jackie as well and that's why he hasn't shown up. And that's the "him" Anti refers to in Argentum Inanis video. Probably not likely but still possible.

Or it could be a completely different "him" that Marvin is trying to save.

Oh... Just realized that could answer somethings with Anti's rant in KJSE... "If you want him back so badly, then why don't you save him?" Was he speaking about C!Jack? Not just then but in Argentum? Or again someone else altogether since there are more characters in this story besides the six Egos now? Hmm curious...

[jadedrrose]

Strange Connections - chapter one

After saving you from an attack that nearly kills you, Levi begins experiencing headaches and wondering why he feels so strange when you’re with him…

Warnings: violence, swearing, typical aot underground things. you should probably read/watch ACWNR before reading this

EDIT 1/19: Today I became aware of an already existing fic that has a similar plot (at least the beginning part, idk abt the bond) and I just want to let everyone know I am not stealing that authors’ work! I simply assumed this sort of plot hadn’t been done yet (or recently) since I haven’t come across it in the last 2 years. Hope you all understand <3

Fight. It’s what you had to, needed to do. To survive. Those were the only words processing through your brain.

You weakly grabbed for your dagger which lay in the dirt behind you, glaring up at the attacker. Don’t let him know you’re afraid. Your fingers fumbled along the handle, sweaty palms struggling to get a good grip on it. Just stab him. And run. Finally grasping it, you pulled it toward yourself and out in front of you. A mistake.

The large man cackled, shaking his head as he stuck his foot out to kick your hand, knocking your only weapon away, entirely out of reach. Now what would you do? Scream? Nobody would ever come though. That’s just the norm down here. You thought about kicking him just under his knees to try and knock him over. Then you could run. But he was so large compared to you, he’d be able to easily grab you. And what about the others helping him, waiting to catch you?

One more thought crossed your mind, though, as you looked at the sinister grin on the man’s face. How did this happen; why is this happening? Would this be the last thing you saw? Or would he keep you alive to torture you?

What would become of you?

Your brave wall of not showing weakness broke, finally crumbling down. The man had rope and not only a knife much larger than your dagger, but a gun too. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the two other men watching with smirks on their faces. You were powerless against them.

Breath shaking, you let out a defeated whimper as he stalked toward you, salty tears spilling over from your eyes, down to your flushed cheeks. You’d lost.

—

-earlier that day-

You’d risen from bed, completely unsure of what hour it currently was. But honestly, did anybody know down here anyway? All you knew was that you’d overslept again, after getting stuck at the tavern super late into the evening.

You went about your usual morning routine. Make your bed, bathe yourself, get dressed for the day, and grab the dried meat scraps to feed to the stray cats that lived on your street.

Pulling your boots on and throwing the satchel with the scraps in it over your shoulder, you headed out of your small home, locking the door behind you. Upon hearing the clicking of the heels on your boots, the cats swarmed you. Just as they did everyday.

“Hey guys, are you hungry?” you called to them, in a sweet voice you’d never allow anybody to hear coming from you. Especially down here.

Living in The Underground was difficult. Well, that was a given for literally anyone living down here. But as a woman who lived alone, it was particularly dangerous for you. If any creep heard you talking like that, you’d be screwed.

But, you felt a little more reassured, knowing how to fight. It was the one thing your sister made sure to teach you before she died.

That was the ironic part, though. You also felt incredibly unassured about whether you would survive, given how many people succumb to illnesses down here. You’d become especially aware of it after watching her deteriorate.

Sighing as you squatted down to pet the cats, you convinced yourself that you couldn’t worry about the past. If anything, your sister would’ve scolded you for doing so. So you put on a brave face and smiled at the cats rubbing against you affectionately, pulling the food from your bag for them.

“It’s not much, but it’s better than diseased rats, I’m sure,” you said to them, as if they could even understand you.

After you ensured that they were all fed and loved on, you stood up and dusted your hands off. “I’ll see you guys later. Gotta get groceries.”

The cats meowed and followed you until you reached the end of the alley that connected with the main road. As soon as you turned to the left to head on your way, they all headed back into the shadows.

You silently glanced at everybody you passed by, taking small notes of everyone you saw. Just in case. There were a few menacing looking men who watched you pass them by. Three of them, to be exact. You’d just have to keep your eyes out for them. Then there was the group of orphaned children, playing in the alley next to the building they lived in with the woman who took care of them. No matter how many times you’d seen it, your heart always broke for them; hoping they’d one day be able to escape this hell. A couple of them waved to you. You’d given them leftovers from the tavern a handful of times, out of feeling like you had to do something to help. Smiling, you waved in return and kept on walking.

It wasn’t until a couple moments later you realized that the men from before were now trailing you. Perhaps you could avoid them.

However, you were surprised when they caught up to you, tapping you on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, miss,” the largest one called out.

You turned on your heel, looking at them with suspicion. “Yes?”

“How much for a day of your services?” He asked with a chuckle. The two men behind him laughed, too.

“Services? Excuse me?” There was no way they thought a simple waitress like you could be a prostitute.

They didn’t stop though, “ah, shy, are ya? Ironic considering the way you’re dressed, darlin’.”

What? You glanced down at your outfit. It was just a loose blouse, corset, and black pants. What about that screamed prostitute? Was your shirt buttoned too low?

“Sorry. I think you have the wrong idea. I’m just a waitress,” you excused yourself, walking away without paying them any more attention.

That seemed to get them off your tail, and you rolled your eyes. Men down here, I swear…

You were now about halfway to the market closest to your home, but you were actually closer to the tavern than you were to the market. Why not stop by? The only friend you really had down here should be there today.

Upon reaching it, you headed in to find it was extremely quiet. Only about two customers in the entire place. Then you spotted your friend, who was leaning against the bar, looking over reports for income. Her brown eyes screamed that she was bored as she lazily looked down at her work, blonde hair hanging over her face.

“What’re you up to, Cass?”

She looked up, eyes lightening up at the sound of your voice greeting her. “Y/n? What’re you doing here?”

“Just stopping by,” you replied, “it doesn’t seem like you’re busy anyways.”

“No, I’m not,” she confirmed, snapping her notebook shut and sliding it onto the counter behind her. “Need something?”

“Nah, just wanted to chat, since you and I haven’t been scheduled together for some time. I miss your company, y‘know? Sucks working without you.”

“Honestly,” she agreed, “who else am I supposed to gossip with or talk about the annoying drunk people who come in?”

You both laughed, and you pulled out a stool to sit next to her. “You know some guys just asked me if I was a prostitute?”

“No way,” Cass scoffed. “Some of the guys down here… they’re just so nasty, ugh.”

“I know! They said I was dressed like one, too!”

Cass looked over your outfit, looking confused. “You look like every other woman down here, just maybe with a better fashion sense… I don’t get it?”

“Maybe there’s some sort of accessory that signals you’re one and I just haven’t figured it out yet,” you pondered. “All I have are earrings and a small pin on my bag, though.”

“Or maybe they were just drunk off their asses like every other creep down here, and got a little confused,” she chuckled. “Oh well. But hey, I guess that means you look pretty today.”

You rolled your eyes, laughing the comment off. “No way. I’m like, the most basic looking girl ever.”

“Yeah, except that you’ve got way better hygiene and take care of your hair, know how to style even the shittiest clothes, and you just generally look hot.”

“Oh shut up,” you said, playfully punching her arm. “But I could say the same to you.”

She laughed along with you, before sighing as some customers walked in, since the lunch hour was starting. “Well, I guess I’m busy now,” she complained. “I’ll see you whenever we both work next.”

“Soon I hope,” you agreed. “Bye!”

—

The market wasn’t too much further up the road. Hopefully it was still early enough that you could get in and out without getting trapped in the crowds where you were sure to have someone attempt to steal from you. But you were too watchful for that to happen. If anything, you’d just steal it right back. And maybe more than what was yours, since they wronged you first.

But, to your relief, the roads weren’t nearly as busy as they were the other days you’d tried stopping by, and you wouldn’t have to focus so hard on protecting yourself and your things.

It was only a few more steps up the hill to the market, when you heard a familiar voice.

“Well boys, if it ain’t the pretty girl from earlier.”

Your eyes widened. They’d continued following you?! How had you not noticed? You took a deep breath and relaxed your features before turning to look at them.

“And didn’t I state earlier that I'm not interested?”

The three of them were together, all leaning against the wall that marked the end of a dark alley. The big guy who had talked to you had his arms crossed in front of him, that same disgusting smirk on his face.

“More or less,” he replied. “But uh, things don’t quite work that way down here, do they?”

You raised your eyebrow, reflecting his mood by crossing your arms in front of you and frowning. If you showed even the slightest sign of being scared, they’d take the chance right away.

“And what’s that supposed to mean? I don’t provide the services you’re looking for, so I can’t help you there. Is it money you want? Cause I don’t think any of us down here have that.”

They all chuckled once again, their sinister eyes shining with a glint of anger. “Fine, then. We’ll just have to force it outta ya.”

“Excuse me?” You snapped, putting your hands on your hips. “I think you’re underestimating me. I’m not just any other defenseless girl.”

“So she’s gonna put up a fight,” one of them mockingly said to the big guy. “Let’s make it even boss, you and her can fight and we’ll stand by.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” their boss agreed, cracking his knuckles. He pushes off the brick wall with his foot and begins stalking toward you, pulling a large knife from his belt.

“Let’s see how long you can last against me, girl.”

You begin to reach to your hip to pull out your dagger, but before you can even react, he’s rushing toward you and pushing you further into the alley, where nobody would help you.

With a yell, you pushed him off of you to the ground. A cloud of dust flew up from the impact, dirtying his and your clothes.

“You bitch!” He roared, getting up quickly and raising his knife.

Seeing how much larger his knife was, you decided to not waste time grabbing your dagger and instead swung your right leg out, kicking him as hard as you could.

He let out a grunt and clutched his side with one hand, but still didn’t hesitate to try and swing at you with the knife. You swiftly dodged, grabbing his wrist with one hand and pulling your dagger out with the other, quickly swinging it over to slice his arm. It wouldn’t be enough to make him back off, but surely the pain would give you a little more time, right?

The man cursed at you, holding the spot on his arm that now bled, staining his hand. Taking the opportunity, you then punched his face with all your strength.

You glanced over to the other men, who watched in shock. They clearly didn’t think you’d be able to fight back.

But you couldn’t look at them for long, because you had to put all your attention back on their boss, preparing yourself for his next move.

He circled you for a moment, before looking back at the other men. “Bring the rope! Now!”

You lunged at him with your knife, but he must’ve anticipated that because he blocked your attack, pushing you onto the ground, effectively knocking your dagger out of your hand. You watched in horror as it slid multiple feet away from you. The other men advanced toward the bigger one, handing him the rope.

Shit. His attack had left you beaten, despite it being only one move against you. You weakly dragged yourself closer to the dagger, desperately trying to find it among all the dust. Seeing a glimmer of light reflecting on its blade for just a second, you quickly reached out for it.

The man laughed, preparing the rope to tie you up. His men trailed behind him, cackling along with him. “Finally. Thought for a second I might have a harder time catching you, darlin’. But, only one attack and you’re down. Poor thing.”

You glared up at him, swinging your upper body up despite the pain it put you through, spitting at him. “You bastard! Don’t think that I’m just gonna give up!”

Your fingers fumbled along the handle, finding a good grip on it. You’d just have to stab him, and then you could make an escape. You might have to deal with his men, but they seemed significantly weaker than him. Probably a couple punches to them and you’d be able to keep running.

You pulled the dagger to your front side, preparing to throw yourself at the man and stab him. But then something caught your eye; another glimmer through the shadows. When you looked closer, you realized he had a gun.

You can’t outrun a gun. What would you do now?

While you tried coming up with a plan now that there was a gun involved, the man kicked the dagger out of your hand.

You let out a gasp, watching in horror as it flew far away from you. You were completely defenseless now. What could you do?

Your tough front all but disintegrated, and worry came over your features, breath shaking as you looked up at him with fear. You felt tears spilling down your cheeks. There was nothing you could do. You’d lost the fight, and now he’d either kill you right here or torture you until you died.

This wasn’t how you were meant to go. You needed to get up top, experience the hot sun burning on your skin, feel a cold snowy breeze, stand in the rain in awe as it poured down on you. You couldn’t die here.

You wouldn’t die here.

[thefoolsloop]

The Burnt City - a couple of improved shows gives me a sunnier outlook

I believe I've now been to TBC more times than I went to TDM. This has nothing to do with the merits of each production: I came quite late to TDM and by the time I'd really got into it the show was nearing its end. TBC happens to be on, it happens to be (acceptably) convenient and I have a number of friends I can go with on different dates. So it just happens to work out.

So why am I still going back? First of all, as I said before, even less than perfect Punchdrunk is better than no Punchdrunk. And a couple of good shows have tilted the balance towards TBC. I still don't miss it much when I'm gone, but at least I have a good time when I'm there.

(A little spoilery below, but not much.)

In my penultimate show to date I had the pleasure of an entire loop with Milton's Zagreus. Amazingly sympathetic, his performance is warm and sincere, keeping you invested even in the downtime when he's just moving things around on the bar top. Milton generously granted me both 1:1s and the napkin interaction, and they all reinforce the sincerity of his character. This is a Zagreus with no agenda, no ulterior motive than to show his affection for Eurydice. For the final loop I transferred myself over to Eurydice (Yen-Ching Lin, much better than I had anticipated). They had so much chemistry, essential for this pair. It was good to see both sides of the same relationship - perhaps this will be a good idea going forward (Aga/Cly again, or Iph/Pat? I haven't done a full Polymestor loop yet, so maybe him and Polydorus in the same show would make sense).

My most recent show was two nights ago. I'd hoped to catch Omar's Agamemnon, but this seems to be one of the performances I'm doomed never to see. I consoled myself with a second look at Fania's Clytemnestra (still my favourite), then saw bits of Brenda's Macaria and WenHsin's Eurydice. I got a nice hug off Brenda (she really goes for it) and I'd have happily done another entire loop with her, but she went in for the 1:1 and I know how difficult it is to pick up Macaria after that.

Anyway, I diverted to Ally's Luba. I've seen Luba a fair few times because it's tended to be performers I like (Fania, Steph) and it can be a bit less popular than other loops. And I'd been wanting to see Ally in a role properly for a little while. Like all the best PD performers she has tremendous presence (not hurt by the fact she's very tall) and I enjoyed her loop very much, even consenting to accept the 1:1 for a third time. (I say 'consenting' because I wasn't too bothered whether I got it or not, but since she offered and since I was the only one there who'd been following her the whole loop, I decided it would be ungracious to refuse.)

Ally led me down to the Troy finale (I didn't even realise performers led people there, I've always been in situ long before it starts), but I went on my own to the Mycenae finale. As I watched I felt a pair of hands grasping my elbows from behind.

There's something about what I would call the "Punchdrunk Touch". You feel contact, sometimes taken by surprise, but the touch is both firm and reassuring. You couldn't mistake it for an audience member touching you. It feels like the performer is taking control of you, but in an entirely non-threatening way. I wonder how they achieve that effect - is it taught, or is it something innate in people who go on to work with PD?

Anyway, I was gently turned round to find WenHsin was my silent accompanist. Perhaps it was a consolation prize for her passing me up for the 1:1 earlier; or just good luck on my part, who knows? Of all the performers who have led me out at the end she was the loveliest, all smiles and delight, seeming genuinely delighted that I'd spent this short amount of time with her, wishing me a good evening as if she really meant it (I wouldn't be surprised if she did). I hope I can catch her Persephone one day.

I'm never sure how much the performers are still in character in the walkout. Andrea was quite intense, almost but not quite threatening. Theo was silent and maybe a little sad. Steph (definitely in character) was mysterious. Stefanie gave me a warm hug. Ryan, with a broad smile, just said thank you as if I'd offered to mow his lawn or something.

To summarise, as I become more familiar with the show it becomes like a jumper or pair of shoes that have been properly 'broken in'. I know which things interest me, which things bore me. I still know what I have left to see. I've had almost all the 1:1s I care about, pretty much all the interactions. I'll probably be going about once a month from here on (the loss of Miranda - albeit for the happiest of reasons - has dampened my enthusiasm slightly, I'll not lie). Basically I've 'settled in'. I've reached the point where I don't expect too much, I just want to get further immersed in the story and admire my favourite performers, old or new.

(Footnote: in spite of the email sent by PD before every performance, it seems that most audience members are no longer wearing Covid masks. Even a lot of the staff seem to have dropped them. I'm wondering if the 'rule' will soon be withdrawn?)

[writinandcrying]

Hihi! I was wondering if you could do a matchup for a male character for ROTTMNT if they are open and or possible👀i have never done this before so please forgive me if I left out anything important- if your requests are closed then feel free to ignore and or delete!

I am 5'5", trans!masculine (i also identify as nonbinary and a demiboy) and i use he/they pronouns (dysphoria sucks..) I am pansexual but sometimes i have a preference towards men. My personality type is INFP and I dislike any form of social interactions, avoiding them the best i can. I can sit down and work on something for hours at a time and forget to do things such as eating or brushing my teeth before i go to bed but i also have trouble sitting down and working on other things such as homework. I would say physical affection is definitely confusing with me, one minute i could be wanting affection and to be held or to hold someone but the next minute i don't want to be touched at all. I am have pretty bad sensory issues😶 My love languages are Physical Affection, Words of Affirmation, and Acts of Service. I love drawing and listening to music along with making music myself (via singing, playing piano, playing guitar, etc.) I act differently around certain people, if it's a close friend i will most likely show my true emotions. If it's just a friend i might mask my emotions slightly. If it's not a friend, i don't show any emotions that relate to how i actually feel. I have really dark humor and an example was how i was watching an anime episode and one of the characters was referring to a dead character and said "Look, it's a dead person." And i started crying of laughter. As for anything that can relate to ✨insecurities✨i hate how i look, my hair is fine but i have been told i have a very round and baby-looking face, which i hate. I also hate how small my hands are, i am constantly reminded that they are small and it makes me very insecure to the point where i often walk with my hands in my pockets. I wear glasses since i am V E R Y farsighted and since i am a nerd for my own favorite topics i am often told i look like the nerd emoji (this one:🤓). I am just very insecure but will most likely bottle up my emotions and not let anyone know until someone says something even slightly kind about how i look.

I hope that this wasn't too much or too little or if your matchups are closed! I have never requested a matchup before hahah- i hope you have a very lovely rest of your day/night wherever you are! <3

Hi there! Sorry for taking so long to reply :(

I ship you with…

Casey Jones Jr!

(Obs: I have yet to watch the rise movie (I want to finish the series first, anyways I like to torture myself) BUT! I’ve read enough about him and seen some clips which I think I can grasp a bit of his personality, also idk what truly happens at the end of the movie but I’m guessing the turtles defeated the kraang and Casey now lives with them lol - if not, that’s what happens on this scenario!!!! anyways !!! I hope this makes up for it and isn’t too ooc!!!)

Casey has a really hard time fitting in, since being raised on a apocalyptic scenario, understanding new social cues on a “regular” / normal time line is really difficult, he finds he can be himself around you quite easily, and he tries his best to show you can also count on him whenever you want

He will remind you to take breaks when you hyper focus on whichever task you have in hand, he might even join in sometimes or ask if he can watch you work! (He finds your concentration face really cute) but yeah breaks are a must, he doesn’t want to see you overwork yourself

Also talking about our face: doesn’t matter how much you trash talk about it, he doesn’t agree with it, and he won’t stand it, at first he might be a bit taken back to make comments about it, but during the kraang invasion, those little sweet moments of admiring someone’s facetasse absolutely out of the picture, you just didn’t had the privilege or time for these kind of things, Casey has learned that you features brang peace to him, he caught himself thinking about each and every curve of your face, so no, he doesn’t agree with it. but you bet he will snort/laugh when you tell him about the 🤓 emoji analogy, it’s his favorite emoji now, loves it dearly

If the guys (turtle) ever tease about your body being “tiny” compared to theirs, Casey will step up to defend you, he’s not really the one for confrontation regarding the turtles; but he def has a soft spot for you, if you are ever having a difficult day with dysphoria, Casey will def try his best to help you in any way he can, you have become incredibly important to him and even if he gets shy, he will show it, Casey has lost too much way too soon, if there’s something he treasures it, he will go far and beyond to keep it in his reach

This was very brief, but once again I don’t want to go too overboard so it doesn’t come as ooc 🥲 but I hope you liked it!

Matchups are closed!

[somedaytakethetime]

I've had all these snippets of images in my head and I don't know what to do with them.. so I figured I could turn it into some type of writing. There's no discerning details that give any certain person away, so if you read it, in can be about just about anyone you fancy and feel would fit this. Of course, you know who I am picturing but.. that's details 😶 Warning: NO KIDS! DON'T MAKE ME PUT YOU BABIES ON THE NAUGHTY STEP! This isn't even like.. proper dirty or anything, but there's heavy implications and small touches of intimacy and elicit activities, some words that may be heavier than others if you know what I mean.., and I don't want the children to think dirty thoughts 😤 Word count: 5 283 words to be exact, I ramble..

Your hand rises and falls slowly with the pattern of his breathing. It lays on his naked chest, you lay on his naked body, his arms wrapped around you and rubbing your back softly. You watch the shadows on the rug, the same one you're both laying on, cast by the sun as it slowly sets in the window behind your heads. As you try to catch your breath and feel him do the same, you're still wondering how you ended up here.

His eyes are beautiful. That's the first thing you notice as he smiles politely at you and cordially shakes your hand when you're introduced. He repeats the name your superior just said to you, his voices is lower and more sensual than you expected and a small shiver runs through you, you pray you won't stutter and repeat your name back at him. He pulls back and you feel his hand still grasping yours, even as you're introduced to the rest of the bunch. Even as you try to stand as straight as possible beside your new employer, you still feel his hand in yours, his eyes on you, as they'd been just a few minutes ago. You never expected to be here, hired to work at this club, you didn't expect you'd be so close to them either, you thought you would have some small position and do meaningless little tasks. You're nervous, your heart skips beats at times, you're afraid to mess this up, to end up looking foolish in front of so many people, and... you're afraid of the way you can still feel his hand on yours.. his eyes burning into you from across the way.

You should probably get up and leave. Or at least get up and lay on the couch, the rug is soft and warm but it's still a little.. awkward to be laying naked, pressed to him, on his rug like this. His eyes are closed and you wonder if he fell asleep, you try to move away and you find out that he hasn't. His arms tighten around you immediately and he opens his eyes slowly, his voice sounds.. god, his voice, the things he says.. he's so attractive but the way he sounds and speaks, you feel shivers thinking about the things he's said to you before.. even tonight.. you refocus on his voice as he says, soft and low, in that effortless sensual tone that's natural to him, "Where do you think you're going?", a smirk lifts the corners of his lips softly and you hide your face against his chest, suddenly warm all over again and needing.. so much all at once.. you muffle into his skin "I thought I'd get on the couch.." and he nods "Not comfortable here? I should have probably taken you to bed.. I do have one, and it's incredibly comfortable.." he lowers his voice and a shiver runs down your spine again, he's trying to get a rise out of you and he doesn't need to. Everything about him turns you on, you've never been so attracted to anyone before. You part your lips to speak but he doesn't give you the chance. He lifts himself up, takes you with him, somehow through some testosterone-induced display of strength he gets you both up from the floor, carrying you in his arms, without even wobbling once. He looks down at you and his smirk looks devious now, "Shall I show you my bed then?"

Working here isn't as difficult as you'd expected it would be. But it's also not as easy as you'd expected either. You have good days, and bad days. The problem is that the bad days are more frequent. Through no fault of your own, that's just the way things are here. Too many egos, too much testosterone, too many strong personalities. It all leads to arguments, to misunderstandings, to being yelled at and lashed out towards. You're often apologised to, after they've calmed down, asked for forgiveness and told that you've done nothing wrong, they're just all under a lot of pressure and stress. And.. you'd let that slip.. if it wasn't happening constantly, that is. Because none of them know how to control their shitty attitudes and it grates on your nerves. You keep your head down, stay silent, this is a well paying job and you don't want to lose it. Especially not over these assholes and their arrogance. Your superior is nice, that's all that matters because he's the one that you need to spend the most time with, the rest of them can go to hell. The rest of them… except… him. He's kind to you. Incredibly kind even. Has gotten into arguments with others over you. Over the way he watched them talk to you, over the things they've said to you. He doesn't have to get into trouble because of you, you've told him every time, and he just smirks, defiant, like he was made to fight and contradict, "And what? Pass up the opportunity to remind them of their place?" and you start to realise that this man has far more layers than you know of. He's.. hard to figure out. He's quiet, rarely ever speaks unless spoken to, he's also clearly a loner. He'll interact with his teammates when needed, praise them and laugh with them when he's in the thick of training, but outside of that he retreats back into himself. Stands off to the side. Observing everyone. Silently judging them. Silently judging you too..

His bed is indeed comfortable, just as he said it was. The sheets are soft, the pillows smell like him. You love the way he smells, it's so.. rough? woodsy?.. it's manly. You're don't care for logistics that small, but the only way to describe his scent, and even the underlying feeling he gives off, is that. Manly. He has tenderness too, that he's displaying right now as he softly traces your naked body like you're porcelain, placing gentle kisses everywhere, treating you like something fragile and beautiful to be treasured, driving you to the brink of madness with his slow motions. But there's a biting edge to him. You always know that this man, who appears so calm and controlled, will lose his mind in roughly .5 seconds and fight someone if his anger gets the best of him. And you'd be lying if you said that you don't find it attractive. How controlled he is. A stronger personality simmering under the surface of all that control and calmness. Which is too calm at times.. like right now. He's kissed a path up and down your thighs five times and you're about to pull all that glorious hair out of his head if he doesn't do something more than tease you.. "Will you be there all night? Didn't you promise to show me something? Something along the lines of what talents that tongue has that go beyond defying people?". his hands look massive as they snake around your thighs, he pulls you down closer to him suddenly and a squeak flies out of you, the devious smirk, ever so present on those perfect lips whenever he's around you, is back "I like it when you're sassy, baby.. it makes it even better when you start moaning incoherently for me."

A sob slips out of your lips and you try harder to keep it quiet. This is the final drop. You're tired of being yelled at by assholes, sure, but this is worse. You weren't hired to be harassed, if these bastards don't know how to behave that's their problem. You feel anger, a strong and heavy feeling in your chest pooling like black liquid, and you ball up your firsts. You slam them against the wall behind you and you want to scream. You want to go back and slap him, but you're not allowed, even if he was disgusting. The images keep replaying in your head, you're trying to do your job and gather their information to update their data, keeping quiet, head down as usual, asking personal questions in the most formal and detached manner that you can and that oaf.. the big one. You never liked that one from the time you were introduced. He smiled at you like such a sleaze.. you've been revolted by his presence ever since and you avoid him like the plague that he is. But.. you had to do your job. You had to ask questions because of these stupid sheets. Personal, medical, technical, all for the database of their information to be updated.. and he had to try and be funny… he had to try and flirt again, no matter how hard you ignore him he does it again. Asking you personal questions that you ignored, commented on your body and how it looked in the loose, long dress you're wearing.. and… he had to start commenting on his body. On his size to be exact. And his capacities as a man. When he cornered you against the table, put that sleazy, disgusting paw on your waist and said so casually "I could show you.. I bet you'd sound really hot screaming my name while I fuck you.." you just lost your composure. You pushed him roughly, you called him disgusting, you told him firmly "I would rather die without sex again than to have sex with you. You're revolting." and you walked out, found the first bathroom you could, and here you are. On the floor. Trying not to disturb anyone as you sob against the corner. You're not sad, you're angry. Angry that you can't retaliate more. Angry that if you were to tell anyone they would just tell you that the guys here are "being playful, you're a pretty girl, pay them no mind. They'll tire of it, I promise." as they've told you before. You're boiling with anger. You're tired of being disrespected. You make a snarled sound as you get up and walk to the sinks. Wash your tears and try to gather your composure. You look like you've been crying, there's nothing to be done about it. You take a deep breath and turn around. He's standing there. Leaning against the wall, right by the door. You didn't hear him come in. He has his arms crossed over his chest, and he looks pissed. "I heard some things that I didn't want to believe.." he's speaking through gritted teeth, you look at him as he pushes away from the wall, walks towards you, looms, "Did he tell you all that shit?" you wonder if you could lie, say that you were just being sensitive and he didn't mean any of that crap, you know what will happen if you confess what just happened to you. You know he will fight the oaf. You can see the fire in his eyes, those beautiful eyes, daring you to lie to him and pretend he can't see the truth. You just exhale and nod slowly, can't look him in the eyes as his anger bubbles over and the loud smack of his fist slams against the countertop. "That motherfucker! Did he hurt you?? He said you were like marshmallow in his hands, did.he.hurt.you?" and your voice sounds angry "No, he didn't! But he had no right to touch me! I don't want random men caging me against desks and groping my waist like I'm just a piece of meat! Tell that bastard that I wasn't anything other than disgusted by him!" and… he was made to fight and defy people. There's the confirmation. The smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. The fire raging in his eyes. The way he says, so casually, "Oh, sweetheart, I'm going to do more than tell him, don't worry." as he turns his back on you and walks out..

He is unfairly good at that. Unfairly good at everything he does really. He can control his body with just as clinical precision as he can control his temper, and it's unfair. You can feel his smirk against the most sensitive part of you, can feel the delight he takes in how easily and quickly you fall apart for him. Because of him. He's relentless, renders you speechless, a mess of whines and moans and pleas, a mess of neediness and aching and pent up frustration needing to be released. He does it on purpose. Slows down and teases you every time you feel your spine start to tingle and sparks appear in your closed eyes. You curse out his name, "Please! What do I need to do for you to stop that and just let me come, god, will you please do something more!?" say frustrated and he has the audacity to laugh. Right against you. Shivers run down your spine and you moan, it rings inside you and it makes you feverish and needy all over again. Your voice gets softer, you're suddenly pliant in his hands again, mewling and begging. He takes pity on you, holds you tighter, presses you down into the mattress and stops teasing you. Watches you the whole time, eyes fixated on your body and how you arch up for him. Because of him. He loves watching you fall apart like this. He's addicted to how you react to him. He's addicted to you. It's been a long time coming, he's still unsure how he managed to get you here tonight, but he's never been more thankful to whatever Gods are out there, watching over him, and helping him along this path. He doesn't falter until you're pushing at his head, lifts up and smirks at you as you open your eyes slowly, still barely able to focus on him, and he places a kiss right where he just made a mess of and laughs at your curses and shivers. He gets up from his place, crawls over your body, cages you against his bed, "So… how was that?". He feels giddy right now, feels like a teenager again, there's something about making a beautiful girl giving into him like that.. but beyond that.. there's something about having you here right now. In his house. On his bed. Under him. Pliant and willing, eager even, to be with him. He's wanted it for a long time, even if you likely have no idea of it, but that's beside the point now. There's other matters to attend to while you're so willing under him. He nuzzles your neck, kisses you slowly, then whispers in your ear "How do you feel about testing out the quality of my mattress?", and he knows it's incredibly cheesy but he's feeling light hearted and happy tonight, and you react by whining and melting further so.. he figures you don't mind it either.

He would say you've been building a budding friendship. Even if he's pretty sure you have no idea of it. Because he's a little.. guarded, if you will. He doesn't trust easily, he doesn't befriend people easily either. He likes his space, his peace, his own ways. He prefers to stand back, watch others, judge and gauge what they're all about. Studies people and tries to gather information before he can make a decision on them, he tries to be impartial, tries to give everyone a fair chance but.. he's also himself. Reserved and slightly stubborn in his ways. He knows what he wants and he knows how to get it, he's never had trouble with his confidence or his own self assuredness. He doesn't feel the need to justify himself to anyone or be a person pleaser. He also doesn't feel the need to make friends at work, not in a deep sense. He's polite to everyone, he'll be playful when there's room for that, and he'll go along with some things from time to time. But he's not here to be best friends with anyone, he's here to work. And he does his job well. So well apparently, that it's created some friction with some others around. So, try as he might to be professional, he doesn't like some of these guys because they don't like him and don't bother hiding it either. But, that said, he does like you. You're quiet too, just as guarded as he is, and you always keep your head down too. He could see from the very beginning that you're here to do your job and get on with it, and he respects that. He doesn't like stereotypes but he's aware that some girls try to get jobs at places like this for reasons that have nothing to do with the job. He doesn't judge that, everyone is after whatever life they want in the end, but he doesn't particularly care for those girls either. Being loved for the potential of what he could give to others in terms of lifestyle isn't something he wants, he just wants to be loved for himself. It's hard to get people to see him, who he is, without all the glitter and the flashes of the lifestyle. Without the fame aspect and the money. He's tried many times before, had loose strings here and there, and they all fell flat. He didn't feel a connection like he needed to, they weren't bad girls, they were funny and kind, but they had expectations from him. They created an image of him in their heads and that's what they were in love with. Not him. Not the simple man that has simple hobbies. The man that would rather cook dinner himself, instead of go out to some fancy restaurant that he'd have to put a suit on for. He's never been able to share himself, his true self, with anyone before without them thinking he was joking. Girls don't often believe how much of a nerd he is, how boring he can actually be, how unexciting he wants his life to be. Because he looks a certain way. And he has a certain reputation too. All of them do, so he understands it's hard to accept that, in the end, he's just a regular man. But he is. And you believe him. He's unsure how and why he felt such a pull to you when he first shook your hand. There was something. Probably in the softness of your eyes, the clear nervousness that clouded your whole being, the way you tried to stand and look so tall and professional but he could see your hands shaking the whole time, could see your cheeks flush pink with shyness whenever someone talked to you. He grew attached to you the more you spend time together. He sought you out, struck up conversations, tried to get to know you. To get you to be comfortable with him. And little by little you were. You built a friendship, that he thinks you're unaware of, and he cherished that. Cherishes the fact that you only laugh with him, only tease him, only feel comfortable around him. He knows that last bit isn't very healthy but.. he feels vindicated, he's selfish and he doesn't care. He likes you, really likes you, and he likes that you like him back. He also.. feels possessive of you.. which is why… he always gets into so much trouble for you..

He's relentless. And you're going to faint. It's just too much. Your whole body is on fire, your senses are all overloaded, you can't even see straight and your breathing is barely enough to fill your lungs with oxygen. But he's relentless, and you are too because even as your head feels fainter and fainter, you want more and more. You need more and more. You need it all. You need him. He feels amazing, he's sturdy and warm over you, he knows just what to do to make you fall apart at the seams, knows exactly how to move to make your whole body curl around him, knows just what to say to have you biting at his shoulder and clawing your nails down his back. He's amazing, he's both gentle and rough, pushes you back and reels you in, keeps you on edge for what feels like hours and drives you insane. When he allows you to fall, it feels so strong, it's so potent, that you all but faint. Barely hanging on to your senses, clinging to him, possibly crying from how good it all feels, you aren't really sure. Your body is a mess of emotions and he kisses you so slowly and tenderly as he falls with you too. Presses his forehead to yours as you both pull back with a need to breathe, keeps you so close and tight to him, melts against you too and wants to never let you go. You're shaking as you come down, you wouldn't be able to move right now from how limp he's rendered you, but also from how constantly you shake. Luckily you don't have to. He pulls away from you slightly, carefully rolls you both sideways and holds you tightly in his arms. One hand cradling your head and petting your hair, the other rubbing soothing circles on your back. He presses tender kisses to your forehead, whispers to you tender words of reassurance that you're okay and he's right there, holding you and keeping you grounded to this earth so you won't float away. You start to calm down, realise that you did cry because you have tears drying on your cheeks and you're almost scared of the power this man has over you. He makes you feel in a way you've never felt before. He pulls at your heart in such a strong way.. you're scared of that feeling. Because you don't know how he feels about you. He's so hard to read, even as he gently tells you that he's not going to leave and that he's right there for you, that he'll take care of you. It's hard to know if he means now, or… you melt against his chest, sigh heavily, remember what happened earlier today. He's suspended for a few days now. After that show, of course he would be, but you didn't mean for it to happen. You've apologised, chastised him, but it didn't make a difference because all he did was laugh.

You're back with your papers at the medical office right where you left them. They let you use this place today for all the crap that you needed to deal with, but someone clearly filled in for you while you were gone. The papers now have a handwriting that you can barely read. 'Does no one teach these men to write properly!?', you think exasperated. It's not the first time that one of your coworkers hands you notes that are barely legible. You exhale angrily, trying to push aside all that's happened today and just focus on getting to the end of your workday. You're trying to decipher what a certain hieroglyph says when you hear a commotion outside. There's a giant windowed door beside you, that leads to the training grounds, and you approach it. A mass of bodies piled in a circle is on the field, there's shouting. Something is happening. You don't think twice, you open the door and rush out. As you get closer you realise what's happening. He's hitting the oaf. They're tangled on the ground, he's overpowered that oaf, and he's punching him. Everyone else all around them is trying to get them to stop, a few have entangled themselves too and you're not sure why. Maybe men just love any excuse to fight each other and they'll break into silly antics as soon as someone else does. One of the older coaches shouts, the head coach is running towards all of you, some of the older players are trying to keep everyone in check and trying to dodge punches too. 'This is a mess..' you think to yourself. You regret telling him, you should have lied. But, god, you can't pretend that you're not pleased seeing him punch that disgusting oaf.. seeing him insult him and argue with him.. trying to defend you and make him pay for how he acted towards you earlier.. you feel so.. vindicated. Violence isn't the answer, you know it, but sometimes? It's pleasing to see someone do what you would like to do. You would be fired if you retaliated his actions from earlier, but they won't be fired. They're the team.. the club needs the team. They're men, they're always excused for their actions with no more than a slap on the wrist. And a slap on the wrist they get. When the head coach has them all under control he loses his temper and yells at everyone. Scolds them like little boys and a few of them have the decency to look ashamed. When it's all said and done, your saviour and the oaf are suspended for a few days, one for fighting and the other for his lack of professional conduct towards female staff. Rich that it took a fight to break out with the team for them to take the disrespect seriously but.. you'll take it. Some of the others are suspended for a day and the rest are severely scolded just because they were in the vicinity. The head coach turns to you suddenly, "As for you. I would like to apologise for the treatment you've been receiving. I'll speak to the management and we'll see what should be done. But next time? Tell me what happened, not one of my players." and the tone of his voice makes you whisper 'asshole' as he walks away after dismissing everyone. He approaches you, his knuckles scrapped and bloody, his lip is bloody too and he seems to have a bruise blooming under his right eye. You want to kiss him suddenly. He smirks at you, like the devil himself, and says "You're lucky you're this cute, otherwise he would have suspended you too." and winks as he walks past you. You scoff at the suggestion and stomp after him. Until you realise what he said. He thinks you're cute. He's teasing you. Again. You instead walk back to your borrowed office and gather your things, you were dismissed too, and it is the end of the week anyway so.. you cross paths with him as you're both walking out. You're looking at your watch to check the time, maybe there's a bus you can catch now. Or you could walk back, it's not so far off and you did it this morning. But as a hand lands on the small of your back, and a low voice says behind you, "Do you need a ride home?" suddenly.. your plans for the night have already changed..

He's looking at you seriously when your eyes focus on him again. "Is everything okay?" and you nod confused, "Of course. Why wouldn't it be?". He caresses your cheek softly and looks puzzle "I feel like I lost you for a moment there, your gaze was far away.." you settle against him, trace the bruises and cuts on his knuckles, "I was just thinking about what you did today. You got into trouble because of me, and you didn't have to." he pulls you tighter, "Someone had to. Besides.." he lifts your chin up and kisses you again, a deep kiss that takes your breath away and makes your heart pound against your ribs, "I don't like the way he talks to you. Or looks at you. Actually I don't like him in general, but I especially don't like him around you.". He looks like a contrived little boy and you have the urge to laugh and kiss him, you tease him softly, "Jealous? Don't tell me you feel a little territorial already.." and.. he feels his heart do something. Is it skipping beats? Is it sinking? Whatever it's doing, he doesn't like it. He doesn't like the casual feeling he's getting. He's not making himself clear. Of course he isn't. He brought you to his house instead of yours, allowed you to care for his wounds which led to him finally losing his control and kissing you. That kiss led to you losing your clothes and ending up on his rug panting for air. So far, he has done nothing that says 'I want you'. All he's done is say 'I'm horny'. And he doesn't like it. He doesn't like that you might just want casual sex from him, he'd give it to you, oh, he so would. He's a fool for you, he'll do anything you ask, but.. he wants you. All of you. He wants more than just occasional sex. There's a need to make you his in his chest, something he's been trying to control, but he can't hold it back anymore.. he says, serious, "As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, I am. I'm territorial over you. Because I don't like to share. Never did. I was an incredibly selfish boy and I'm not ashamed to say I'm an incredibly selfish man too. I see things I want and they're mine on sight, so I don't take kindly to others forcefully trying to share them." and… your breath gets caught in your throat. Feminism has exited the chat, all of your foremothers are watching over your shoulder with curious eyes right now. You've always been self assured, strong in your convictions, you've never allowed a man to think he owns you or even had the chance to think such thoughts. But.. you're a fool for this man. You would bark if he asked you to, you don't care. He brings something out in you that turns feral. You want him so badly that you'd crawl if he asked. You whisper his name, unsure of what to say, you don't know if he means.. "I like you. In fact, I more than like you. I want you in my life. I've wanted it for a while now and it drove me crazy to think of that fucker touching you. I've been trying to find a way, to get an excuse, to bring you to me. I don't know how to do this the right way, there is no right way, I'm confused because.. I have never felt like this. You throw me off balance, I don't know how to act around you. I've been flirting with you for months now and you're oblivious to me. So, at first I assumed that you didn't want me, and I respected that. Kept my actions the same because I didn't want you to see that I was hurt but.. after what just happened today.. I think you want me. Or maybe you just think I'm really good in bed, I guess that's an option too and I'll respect if you don't want me. But I want you. A lot. What I'm trying to say here is: I think I'm falling for you and I would like you to give us the chance to see where this goes. And we can do this really simply: will you stay the night?" you look into his eyes, his eyes are beautiful, more so after he's just confessed his feelings. You feel the same and you suddenly see flashes of where your lives could go if you accept his offer. You see them reflected in his beautiful eyes. A soft smile appears on your lips as you say "Of course I will."

[autisticbee]

coming to terms with having faced/is facing mental+emotional abuse can be so difficult. I've spent so much time wondering if I'm exaggerating it or making it up in my head or maybe that's just how parents are supposed to be, how would I know any different?

My mother fought for my autism diagnosis, she buys me things, sometimes we get along and laugh and smile with each other. And in those moments I wonder if I'm being ungrateful, if I'm wrong

And then she'll flip on me over something small, turn something into a argument for the millionth time & then blame me saying I'm the one who did it, she'll leave me in tears & won't care & yet if anything I say/upsets her she'll go on about how I never show anything towards her (I've told her many times, that I express my feelings in things such as sharing my special interests, that when I want her to watch a episode of my fave thing or listen to me ramble about something, that's my way of connecting. she doesn't care. & Yet I have to listen to her describe every detail of whatever show she watches, knowing I won't get the same consideration.). She guilt trips me because I don't hug her & don't like touch, even though I've explained how it physically hurts me to do

She tells me she'll die one day because of me, and that she hopes she does. she's legally my carer but if I rely on her as such then I'm selfish, lazy

She took me out of school when I was nine years old, she acts as though this was for my benefit. My favorite teacher left and they didn't give the proper one on one time to me. She becomes my teacher, except there are many things she doesn't know. I learn to finally tell the time but I don't make much progress in math. To this day I don't understand it beyond basic times tables. I feel I missed out, that most people understand something I never can.

When was younger, under 12, I wanted to be friends with the kids who lived in my area. I was bullied, in a way I didn't really grasp at the time. When the kids told me to wait outside for them and that I'd be back soon I believed them, as I stood out there for ages. When I was in the backyard of my so-called friends at the time, one of them pulled a carving knife on me. He chased me around the garden and I thought I was going to die, his mother stood in the doorway and told me he wouldn't hurt me with it.

When I talk about the impact these things on me, how it hurt to be socially rejected & how lonely it was to not really have any friends (up until I met my best friend, lex ily 🫶🏻), my mother blames me. She says it's because my voice is monotone, that I never 'gave' anything because I never wanted to be the leader. She says it's better I ended up with one good friend, dismisses how I felt in the past despite how that played a part in me feeling suicidal at eleven years old

I don't really have a end point to this. I just think I needed to get it off my chest. I'm tired of waking up & feeling in a good mood only to have it completely destroyed by my mother not long after. I'm so tired of never knowing what will make her angry. I hate being in this house. When I briefly leave to pop to the shops I feel at ease. I wish I could leave. I wish I wasn't reliant on her as a disabled person.

It sounds awful, but some days I long for the day she dies. I know my life will be turned upside down. I know I will feel mournful as well as relieved. I know I will lose my entire blood 'family' because the moment she's gone I will live as who I really am, and they'll cut me off. And yet... nothing keeps going more, than the hope of one day being able to openly live as myself, away from this religious cult & away from all these people I can't stand but am forced to put up with because of blood ties

I hope my future will be better

[porcelain-tongue]

awakening / pt. 1

at the beginning of january i experienced my first awakening on an intense psychedelic trip.

i had been saving this dose for years and never felt it was the right time.

but i had a dream one night that i traveled to indonesia, and i woke up with such an intense longing to travel that it put me in tears. it drove me to my desk at 6am looking at flights. i felt blocked and heavy and depressed.

that night, while nick and i were cooking, i told him i was going to do it, i was going to trip - and figured the dose would have expired anyway - so nothing to lose, really.

my lover is wonderful like that, doesn't question these urges and is always there to support. he pulls me in a spiritual direction i can't even describe, is so inspiring.

we watched a movie, he dozed off. we went to bed. but i couldn't fall asleep... i was staring at the blinds and they were beginning to speak to me.

i was being called into the other room, and i realized i was tripping.

i sneaked out of the bedroom and sat on the couch, me & my rabbit the only physical occupants of the room. i'd done this twice before, but it felt different this time. there was a spiritual heaviness in the air, i could grasp it with my hands. i felt i was being divinely protected and that i had a job for the night.

i noticed my tarot journal on the coffee table and picked it up to read a few passages. i had been documenting my very novel experiences with the Rider-Waite deck for the last few weeks. i wanted to see what connected.

this is where it all began.

i will share an excerpt a day here, i'll label them in their parts. at the end of the series i'll share my final entry on this journey ... the moment i put it all together and it fit like the last (and first) puzzle piece.

previous to this moment, i felt i had been wandering, exploring - happy but full of a deep and ancient anxiety that i didn't have a cure for.

in the days prior i had been continuously pulling cards in the Cups suit. it just kept happening.

i'll start there...

january 6, 2023 | aim/block spread

ace of swords / the star / five of cups

i feel i'm in a time of renewal and longing. i want to live other people's' lives and be closer to them. i had this same intense longing when i was really little and it always centered around those who traveled & saw so much of nature... and had friends to do it with.

my new aim - travel and create pure + sacred memories with old and new friends

my block - i drew an aquarius card (my own Moon) so i'm wondering if my block is simply myself. the star is bright and hopeful but plagued by arrogance and haughtiness. maybe i am too proud to see the truth that it is time for me to be unstuck and time for me to learn some difficult truths about myself.

truth - i don't nurture and love myself like i should and it blocks me from reaching my dreams. dreams would come to me easily if i shifted my focus from hatred of myself to inner peace and self-empowerment.

how? - the five of cups reminds me of my attention to past losses, missing the opportunities around me. move on from my self-pity. i need to learn to forgive myself for the ways i feel i've failed - especially as a friend. all i can do now is release that negative energy in order to make room for more - for myself and for others.

what i learn from past failures:

self-affirmation is vital

i can exist around others without a front

i can show up in important ways for everyone - but the most important way to show up is with love for myself (which is who others love)

[badkarma-a]

Bartender!Mikasa x Tattoo Artist!Reader

synopsis: After a messy break up, and promising yourself to take a break from the dating scene and heal. You’d think that would be the end of it. Until you meet a pretty bartender with eyes the color of the moon.

note 4: Mika - wc: 5k

song: Me and Your Mama by Childish Gambino

warnings: Explicit Sex (Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex, Wall Sex, Dirty Talk, Kitchen Sex), Swearing, Drinking

taglist: open!

previously | masterlist | next

It’s been a week since you’ve seen Mikasa, making it also a week since you’ve talked to her. You both have exchanged text messages every now and then still, always feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush when you receive them. Doing your best to suppress the feelings, knowing they'd probably make the situation too difficult. So you’ve been in the shop every day, distracting yourself with your craft. Smiling as you do so, enjoying every bit of the atmosphere, people, and sounds.

Until today, Thursday, where you’re currently following Hange to her office. She asked to speak with you after closing, while you obliged. The shop was cleaned up, leaving just the two of you in eerie silence. The silence felt as if it was us nipping at you, leaving the anxiety riddling throughout your body. Seeing the time beaming up at you, 12:06 AM.

“Before you come in, can you get your portfolio?” They suddenly ask, as you guys were mid stride walking in her office. 

“Of course!” You reply, quickly turning to go towards the back of the shop where your section is. Once inside, you pull out a drawer, hearing the moving against the metal drawer. The pens rattling at the bottom, while you grasp the black binder full of your work. Once you grab it, you pull it out and shut the drawer quickly. Accidentally making quite a loud sound, that you make a mental note you’ll apologize about after the meeting. Before heading to Hanges office, where you meet face to face with Hange sitting in her chair waiting for you. 

She gestures with her hand to sit down, as you quickly oblige and take a seat in the metal chair, with the soft plush cushion. Hearing the slight sound of the cushion compressing, while you quickly sit down.

“Can I see your portfolio?” They state, holding their hand out while the other one lays on the desk holding a pen. You didn’t realize the death grip you had on it clenched to your chest. You nod, saying a soft, “sorry”  before placing it in her hand. They don’t respond as they place the binder on the table, opening it up without saying a word. You sit watching their fingers graze the paper in the plastic cover, only taking a few seconds to look at them. 

“This is updated, correct?” They question, not lifting their head up, still gazing over the work.

“Yes! Even the ones from today,” you smile, acting polite. Attempting to show how you keep up on things, such as your portfolio. They nod a bit, still flipping through.

You felt as if you could die from the nerves. They didn’t mention a meeting at all in the past week, and your portfolio? What could that even mean? You do your best to not to tap your feet out of nerves, or pick at anything. You attempted to keep composed, clasping your hands together in your lap, and your legs crossed. 

“Do you have any idea why I asked you to come into my office?” They ask, closing the binder, sliding it back in front of me. 

“No, and I am still wondering myself,” you let out an airy laugh, keeping your fears inside. Your leg is now starting to bounce underneath the table.

“It’s not bad news I promise,” they finally let out a smile. You let out a deep breath you didn’t know you were keeping in. Your leg resting, and a visible look of relief on your face. 

“Thank god, I thought I was gonna be kicked out or something.” You laugh, adjusting in the chair to get more comfortable. Hange lets out a light laugh, before speaking again.

“It’s quite the opposite actually,” they suddenly state, clasping their hands and holding them over their mouth. A visible look of confusion is painted on your face, as you slightly tilt your head.

“I actually wanted to offer you an official spot in the shop, not as an apprentice, as your own name.” They say putting their hands on the table, revealing their grinning face.

Your eyes widen at this news, not actually believing this day would come. Especially on a Thursday of all fucking days. Your face contorts into a wide grin and you happily nod your head.

“Of course! I’d be honored to take such a position, honestly I’m in shock,” you stutter out, putting your hands flat on your chest, feeling your heart racing. It’s past ten o’clock, and the previous tiredness in your body is now replaced with liveliness.

Hange lets out a light laugh at your reaction, happy at your reaction. Lifting their fist into the air, slightly shaking their first in excitement.

“Awesome, we’ll tomorrow I know you don’t have any appointments. So I thought maybe you could fully move into the studio you’ve been using, decorate how you want, and we can add you to our website. How does that sound?” They ask, writing down what they just stated on a sticky note, in their sleek black pen. You nod enthusiastically at the offer, your grin beginning to hurt your cheeks.

“I thought you’d like the offer, your work has been great. I think you really deserve this spot, and everyone’s gonna be excited to hear the news.” They smile, peeling the sticky note off of the pad, sticking it to their finger offering it to you. You grip the sticky note, lifting it off their finger, adhering it to the front of your binder. Seeing the list of possible things you could do tomorrow, with Hange’s handwriting saying, “congrats :)”.

“I seriously can’t thank you enough Hange, I promise you won’t regret it.” You smile, re-reading the sticky note over and over again. 

“I can see no reason why I would regret it, I believe in you and your talent.” They smile, putting their pen in the pen holder, standing up from their chair. You follow in suit, standing up from your chair, saying a quick “thank you” again and going to put your binder in, now your, studio. You walk into the studio, doing a slow turn around visualizing the possibilities. You quickly set your portfolio down on the desk, grabbing the sticky note and adhering it to the wall. Vowing the first thing you're doing tomorrow is, 1. Telling your friends the fantastic news, and 2. Making your space perfect for you, and your clients.

You swiftly grab your bag containing your belongings, and saunter on out. With one last final glance, you turn onto your heels and leave your room, gently shutting it behind you. Having fresh new energy enter your system, you walk with confidence.

“Okay, well you can go now. I’ll lock up, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.” Hange said going through the cash register in the front. You hum a yes, “thank you, good night!” You smile walking out of the shop. 

As you leave the shop, you're suddenly face to face with the cold air. You turn and begin to walk in the direction of your apartment, before stopping and pulling your phone out. All you want to do is tell someone of this achievement. It’s been the first thing to actually make you motivated and happy in quite awhile to be honest. 

Ymir left a few hours ago, she had reservations for dinner with Historia. It felt wrong to text or call while she’s on a date she's been planning. Annie left just an hour ago, claiming she’s exhausted and has things to do. Sasha and Connie, you’d rather just tell them in the morning. Until you reach one contact. Blinded by the adrenaline and confidence, you press call. 

“Hello?” You hear the soft voice say through the phone, smiling at the phone, you respond.

“Hi Mika, I know it’s late, I’m not disturbing you are I?” You suddenly start questioning your judgment, knowing that it’s already past midnight.

“I just started walking home from work, what’s up?” You suddenly stop walking to your house, pondering an idea. You wouldn’t have even thought about it to begin with, if you didn’t have the adrenaline racing through you. 

“Do you want to come over to my apartment? Unless you’re already close to yours, I can come to yours! Or if you’re tired we don’t have to see each other, if that’s better!” You declare quickly, the adrenaline and confidence begin to leave your body, and embarrassment enters.

“Do you think you could come to mine? I’m already close to home, and I just got a bottle of wine yesterday if that interests you?” She questions, smiling at her phone. While still standing in place, you realize you should probably go to your place and grab the clothes Mikasa let you borrow in the first place. You push that thought to the back of your head, changing directions and now heading to the train station. 

“That sounds perfect, thanks Mika I’ll be there as soon as I can.” You smile, before hanging up. Not realizing the new nickname you started using for Mikasa, cheeks now getting hot from the realization. You walk past the shop yet once again, seeing Hange no longer by the cash register but heading back to presumably her office.

You continued your face paste stroll, determined to get to Mikasa’s quickly. Stepping quickly over the cracks in the concrete, something you’ve done since you were little. The walk to the train station was brief, due to your quick pace. There thankfully isn’t many people, only what you presume to be a couple, leaning on each other sleepily. You smile at them, something so sweet and gentle, on a train just past midnight.

The train ride didn’t take too long, you swiftly got up once the sound of the train doors opening reached your ears. Sitting up from the plastic covered cushion, feeling tiredness begin to take effect on her body. Mikasa’s house is just a bit away though, so you keep your back straight, and continue your walk. Once out of the train station and on your way, you stand under the warm street lights, following them.

The walk began to get nerve wracking towards the end. While you were just getting to her apartment complex, you began to walk to her dedicated space. Your confidence slowly being replaced with unease, just realizing your situation. You called Mikasa, at midnight, asking if you can come over because you got a because you are now an official tattoo artist. You could’ve just texted the group chat, you could've called Annie, hell, you could’ve called Connie and Sasha. You instead called Mikasa, and are now on her way to her house to tell her the news and drink wine. 

You didn’t realize you reached her door until your thoughts ended, now being face to face with her door. You shakily raise your fist and knock lightly on the door, due to how late it is and not wanting to disturb others, then having your hand reside back at your side. You hear the sound of footsteps on the inside, seeing the nob moving.The door opening inward, revealing Mikasa, still clad in her work uniform.

“Hey,” she says breathlessly, moving to the side of the door to let you in. Her black button up, fitting snug on her biceps. The top two buttons unbuttoned, the top of her red bra just barely visible.

“Hey, sorry for calling so late,” you smile, entering her ever so clean apartment. Slipping off your shoes by her front door, just beside hers. 

“No worries, I just got off work and I don’t go in till 6 in the afternoon tomorrow.” She says, closing the door behind you, locking it in the process. You hum an affirmation, before turning to her and simply just smiling.

“Do you want to chat over some wine?” She asks, walking to the kitchen, not caring what your answer is. You respond with a quick, “sure,” following her footsteps into the kitchen.

Moving and standing just beside her while she rummages through a drawer for something, one hand in the drawer the other one on the neck of the bottle of the wine. You turn your back to the table and lean on it, the countertop just hitting your lower back. Your elbows lay on top of the counter as well, besides your waist. 

“Here it is,” Mikasa lets out a gruff, showing the wine opener she found in the drawer. Grasping the metal opener, stabbing it into the cork of the bottle, a loud popping sound followed by the cork out. Mikasa grabs two wine glasses, with thin stems, and the big bulb shaped glass, and thin rim. She swiftly pours out a few ounces into the glasses, putting both of them to the side, leaving you confused. 

Once she puts the wine back into her fridge, specifically the small wine fridge to the left of her fridge on her counter top, she comes back standing right infront of you. Suddenly laying her hands on your waist lifting you and putting you on the counter, you let out a small sound out of surprise. She grasps one glass with her left hand, her right navigating between your legs and making your legs spread. She puts herself between your legs, like a perfect puzzle piece, as she hands you your glass of wine. Then grasping hers, leaving her right hand on top of your thigh.

Mikasa’s eyes on the red liquid in the glass, swirling the liquid, smelling it afterwards. Then taking a small sip, looking at you, also deep in thought while watching Mikasa.

“It’s a Cabernet, I traditionally go for a Pinot Noir, still strong and smooth though.” She says, like it's her second nature. Mikasa's knowledge of alcohol to some people could look worrying, but she truly is just a lady of sophisticated taste. You quickly take a sip of the wine, not doing any of the techniques she did before, tasting the abundance of different flavors. 

“Yeah, it’s really good,” you smile, putting both your hands around the bulb of the glass, setting it on your lap. Going back to looking at Mikasa, meeting her eyes this time.

“So, any reason for this visit?” She asks, taking another sip of the wine. You suddenly remember the purpose of your visit, feeling like Mikasa probably would like you to get to the point. 

“Yeah! I just got some news and wanted to tell someone, and you are the only person I know who would still be up right now.” You smile sheepishly — “Hange officially asked me to be a tattoo artist in her shop, I’m no longer an apprentice.” You grin widely looking down at the wine. Looking up to see Mikasa set her wine on the counter beside you, her eyes a bit bigger than before. 

“That’s fantastic, shit I know you were saying how badly you wanted this, thats — fucking great.” She says proudly, remembering her walking you to the train on your first meeting, telling her all about her job and what she hopes to achieve. Seeing you now be able to achieve something like this made Mikasa smile, even though you both haven’t known each other long, she felt as if you were the one person who deserves this the most. 

“I know! Hange said I’ve been doing so good, and that tomorrow since I have no appointments I can spend the day setting up my space! Of course my stuff is already there, but I can actually decorate the walls and stuff!” You excitedly announce, putting your wine by Mikasa’s, grasping her hands in yours. She smiles, pulling her hands to her face, yours still entrapping hers, kissing your hands.

“I’m so proud of you,” she smiles, taking your hands away from her lips — “maybe I can come help you decorate in the morning or something.” She suggests snaking her fingers around yours, her skin delicately touching yours.

There's a slight pause in the atmosphere, your guys’ fingers tracing imaginative patterns on each other's hands. Until Mikasa pulls your hands towards her chest, trapping you into a kiss, that you happily accepted. What started slow and soft, a tentative explosion, turned something more when you sucked Mikasa’s lower lip into her mouth, teeth scraping her flesh. Your hands now ravage through Mikasa’s shortcut, tugging on her scalp every so often. Mikasa tears her mouth from yours, sucking in a gasp of air, lung filling as she dragged her lips down your neck slowly. Her tongue darts out as she licks her lips. “May I?” 

Yes. Yes. A million times yes. You quickly nodded your head, panting out, chest heaving. 

Mikasa holds onto the hem of your shirt, still leaving light kisses on your neck, thumbs skinning over the skin of your waist. Suddenly pulling the shirt over your head swifty, leaving you clad in your bra. Her kisses suddenly reaching lower, and lower, and lower. Now kissing the swell of your breast, hands firmly set on the top of your hips. A muffled moan comes up your throat because, god did Mikasa feel so good.

“Mikasa there’s no room over here,” you whine, trying to lay back and your upper back meeting Mikasa’s cabinet. Mikasa, blinded by want and need, picks you up from the small counter walking just a few feet, setting you down on the cold granite countertop of her kitchen island. Her hands still set on your ass, rubbing and grasping roughly. 

“Right here?” You question, breathlessly, chest heaving. She hums out a yes, not caring where she is right now. One of her hands goes up the curve of your spine, until it meets the back of your bra, swiftly unclasping it. The bra, now very limp and loose, you quickly grasp the straps and pull them off, tossing your bra to the side. The frigid air of Mikasa’s apartment meeting your breast, making you shiver. 

“Let me warm you up,” Mikasa mumbles, after noticing your shiver, hands both sliding over your ribs and under the swell of your breast. Lightly massaging the underside of your breast, bringing her lips down to your stomach, kissing you in every possible place. Mikasa’s thumb and index finger suddenly pinching at your nipples, making you let out a gasp. Her hands then move downwards, meeting the top of your leggings.

She suddenly moves up from your skin, seeing the work of art left on your skin. Blotches of blues and purples, similar to the color of blueberries and blackberries. Her fingers slip under the top of your leggings, pulling them off in a hurry. The leggings getting stuck around your ankle, her stopping a second, carefully maneuvering them off. Leaving you in your underwear, and you laying on your elbows on the countertop, from your knees down dangling off. Seeing Mikasa’s eyes through her thick eyelashes, as she looks up at you while holding onto the side of your bikini cut underwear. 

“Please.” Hips canting into Mikasa’s hand, as you sought out friction, something. “Touch me.”

Mikasa quickly takes this sign and pulls your underwear down, towing them to the side, alongside your bra. Her hands knead the plush of your thighs, as she moves back up to your chest. Lips dragging up to your throat, her fingers moving to start circling your clit. Letting a deep groan bubble up in your throat, over the pleasure flowing through you.

“More,” you rasp. Mikasa slides her fingers down your slit, as a hiss escapes your mouth. Two fingers sink inside you with ease, Mikasa feeling you clench around her, heat unspooling slowly inside your stomach when Mikasa hooks them forward. Stealing the breath out of your lungs as Mikasa’s fingers speed up harder and faster.

Your thighs begin to tremble, as you let out a whine.

“You’re so pretty like this you know? Shaking, desperate, such a whiny baby too.” Mikasa lulls you, beginning to sucking on the sensitive skin of your breast. You let out another high whine in response, feeling a deep burning sensation in your stomach. Mikasa’s arm is burning, but the ecstasy made it worth millions. 

Every time you and Mikasa have had sex, only once, twice considering this, Mikasa never seemed to care about getting off. Her only worry being you having an orgasm, and you had no worry about her getting there. 

You tug on Mikasa’s hair as her tongue lulls over your nipple as fingers move at their fast pace, the wet slapping sounds echoing off the walls of the apartment. 

“You close?” She asks as she lifts her head from your breast, keeping her speed the same. You let out a whine, hoping it will suffice.

“I didn’t hear you,” she says, slowing down her speed, making you groan out in frustration. 

“Please Mika, fuck. Don't stop. Please, please, please—” 

Mikasa wraps her lips around your clit as she picks back up her speed, but faster. Her tongue flicks hard and fast on your bundle of nerves, as her fingers curve inside of you.

Your orgasm hits you like lightning striking down your spine, your back curling up, toes curling in, feeling the air in her lungs leave. You felt as if you were seeing stars, still feeling the pleasure go through your body as you pant heavily. Suddenly the cold granite countertops suddenly feel much more frigid, and you’re much more aware of your situation.

“Good?” Mikasa questions you with a knowing smirk, seeing your work out body. You mumble out incoherent words, still feeling the after effects of your orgasm. Despite the tiredness you are determined to also get Mikasa to an orgasm, you sit up on your elbows and look back at Mikasa.

“It’s your turn Mika—” you drag out as you hop off the counter, grasping the collar of her shirt, pulling her addicting lips back to yours. Feeling the slick of your orgasm on her lips, while unbuttoning the top of the buttons of her shirt, at least the ones that were left. 

“Where do you wanna be,” you mumble on her lips, once reaching the last button pushing the thin fabric off her shoulders and onto the floor. Seeing the red lacy bra in all of its glory, accentuating her chest perfectly.

“Wherever you want me,” she smirks at you, as you grab at the belt loops on her pants. You are tempted to take her right here and now, which you don't see why not. You pull her back into you, your lips beginning to feel numb as you kiss once again, pushing her by her belt loops to the closest wall. 

“I want you right here,” you smile into the kiss, unbuttoning the button of her pants, quickly followed by the zipper. You try and help her get her pants off, once she sees your struggle, she helps you get her pants off her toned legs, as you rub your hands up and down her waist. 

Once her pants are off, somewhere you couldn’t care less, you see the red lace of her bra is also matching his underwear. You smile as you take in her beauty, such a divine and beautiful woman you can never take your eyes off of. You lick her bottom lip, taking it between your teeth and softly tugging. 

Mikasa lets out a hiss, while you massage her thighs, picking up one of her legs with your non-dominant hand, the other one tracing down her underwear. Placing your fingers over her clothed clit, feeling the wetness of the fabric. 

“Look how needy you are, you’re dripping,” you smirk into the kiss, as she parts the kiss panting heavily. As you keep her leg hoisted, you begin to rub small circles on her clit. Mikasa’s head leans back and rests against the wall, as she breathes heavily and lets out a whine. At the sound of her high pitched whine, you quicken the pace of your fingers.

“Please—” Mikasa begs as she looks down at you, begging for more friction. You take her request and slide your fingers down her underwear, now feeling the heat and slick of her coat your fingers. Rubbing a few slow circles around her clit once more, before sliding your two fingers down her slit. At the groan that leaves her mouth, you insert your two fingers with ease.

Mikasa lets out a moan at the feeling of your fingers curling inside of her, picking up your pace gradually. 

“You gonna come Mika?” You smirk at her seeing the bead of sweat drip down her temple. She nods frantically, as you quicken your pace and you feel her clench around your fingers, followed by a loud pitched whine. Mikasa starts to shake ever so slightly, feeling her legs go weak, the leg you were holding up now on the ground. All her weight comes down onto you, her arms wrapping around your shoulder. 

“Good job Mika,” you smile, wrapping one arm around her waist, the other petting the top of her head, soothing her from her orgasm. Once she regains a bit of strength you feel her legs straighten, her arms still wrapped around your shoulders. 

“ ‘m tired,” Mikasa mumbles into your shoulder, as you smile at the sleepy girl on you. You keep your grip around her, slowly stepping in the direction of her bedroom. Feeling some of your guys’ clothing under your feet, doing your best to stay stable. Until you reach the door frame, you reach and open the door to Mikasa’s room. Seeing her bedding undone, yet still tidy. You keep the weight of Mikasa around you, finally reaching her bed. She sits on her bed, firstly taking her underwear off stating they’re too uncomfortable to sleep in. You lightly laugh at her as she throws her underwear across the room, crawling under her comforter in silence. Once you see her comfortably laying down on her side, you crawl in beside her slipping in under the blanket.

You see Mikasa facing the wall, so you follow in suit and face the opposite wall. Adjusting yourself under the blanket until you feel comfortable, and staring at the wall thinking. Your thinking comes to a halt when you feel Mikasa’s arm wrap around your torso, and her bare chest on your back. 

“G’night,” she mumbles into the back of your head. You smile at her, and her simple words. 

“Goodnight Mika.”

taglist: @lainjupi @kawaiitoga @ripleysupremacy180286

[imthebadguyyy]

A/N - based off of this sinful photograph

Suggested listening - Wildside by Normani and Kiss It Better by Rihanna

Wildside

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (fem!littlemix!reader)

Fandom - F1

Summary - You've been on tour for a while, and you miss your loverboy. But when he surprises you on tour, its bound to get spicy.

Warnings - smut (not well written)

The snap of hips. The soft groans and moans. The sound of pants. The sound of Rihanna's 'Kiss It Better' blaring through the walls. The bed knocking against the wall as Lewis's hands squeezed your hips, the intensity of the thrust pushing the bed against the wall. The high pitched moan that left your mouth as you reached your high, eyes closing as stars exploded behind your eyelids, as your boyfriend came right after you, your walls clenching as he came. Even after reaching your high, you didn't want to open your eyes, far too consumed in the earth shattering pleasure that was coursing through your veins, until a soft hand reached to pull your chin up, soft brown eyes looking into your own, clouded with lust and euphoria.

Pulling your mouth into his in a heated kiss, Lewis moved his hand to rest on your bare stomach, squeezing your tummy softly as he deepened the kiss. Pulling away he let his head droop onto your bare chest. "That was.." he began, far too blissed out to think of an adjective. "Godly" you said, chest rising and falling rapidly, trying to come to terms with the intensity of your orgasm. Laughing he leaned back up to kiss your nose, before standing up and walking to the bathroom. You heard the tap running, and the sound of the dustbin opening and closing. You closed your eyes again, the aftershocks still coursing through your body.

Opening them again slowly, you saw Lewis walk towards you, towel in hand, and a lazy smile on his face. He gently cleaned your thighs, finishing with kisses on both of them. He reached up and wiped your torso, which was gleaming with a thin layer of sweat, before running the towel over your nose, cheeks, eyes and mouth. He dropped the towel in the clothes hamper near the bathroom door, pulling on his boxer shorts and and pulling out one of his t shirts from the cupboard. "What about the clothes on the floor" you piped up, finally beginning to wake up from your post pleasure state. "When did it get so messy?" He said, spotting 5 different clothing items in 5 different corners of the room. "When you decided to run your hand up my dress in a restraunt" you replied, throwing him a fake glare.

"You liked it" was his cocky reply, smirk spreading over his face as you flushed and ran a hand through your hair. "I did not" you lied, watching as he raised his eyebrows. "Oh really ? Thats not what you were saying 5 minutes ago- oh wait, you weren't saying anything at all. You were too busy moaning my name to say anything else-" "OKAY fine I loved it. Now shut up and bring your fine ass back for cuddles"

*-*-*

That was a month ago. Now you've been away for nearly one and half months, away with the girls on the LM5 tour. You loved touring, it was the best part of being a singer, getting to see the music you girls made together come to life on a stage in front of thousands and thousands of screaming fans. It was a thrill like no other. The only problem was that you were away from home. Distance was never an issue for the two of you, after all, he was a Formula 1 driver. It was very rare that he was home, except during the breaks and the gaps till race weekend, but ever since you two had started dating, he tried to be with you whenever you could. Sometimes, your shows would be in places where the races were too, and then he'd definitely turn up. But it was a difficult thing to do all the time, and some nights on tour were spent pulling all nighters as you talked to each other on the phone, till one of you eventually fell asleep.

But you knew when you started dating him, this wouldn't exactly be a regular relationship. The two of you were doing your dream jobs, and they were both extraordinary. And you were willing to put in the work you had to put in to make the relationship work, and you did. Yet here you were in Madrid, feeling heartbroken and desperately wanting your boyfriend by your side. It had been a rough couple of weeks, you were jet lagged and tired, and although this was the second leg of the tour, and you had had a break, it was tiring. It was hard going to bed every night alone, when all you wanted was to cuddle your boyfriend.

Little did you know, Lewis was feeling the same. In fact he had missed you so much, he had told Angela and his publicist to cancel all events for a week, while he flew out to Madrid to see you. He had missed you, he had missed you more than he could put into words. But he also wanted to surprise you. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled down to Leigh Anne's contact, and sent her a text.

Lewis, Leigh Anne

Hey. Is Y/N asleep ?

Hey! No, she's in an outfit fitting.

Okay that's good. I need your help with something.

Sure how can I help ?

I want to surprise her by coming to see you guys in Madrid.

Oh thats wonderful ! She's been a little down in the dumps. I think she misses you.

I miss her too.

Let me know when, and I'll send a car to pick you up.

I'll be there on Saturday. Landing at 3:15 and I should be at the hotel by 4:30. Then I can get ready and surprise her at the show.

Okay done. I'll send the car around 5:30,so you can rest for a bit. You should be here by 6. The show's at 6:15.

Thank you! Can't wait : )

I'm so happy youre coming to see her ! I'll let the girls know.

*-*-*

As soon as he had finished texting, Lewis decided to start packing, the prospect of seeing you again sending a buzz of happiness running along his veins. God, he had missed you a lot. He turned to Roscoe, the dog sitting by his feet, looking up at his dad with his head cocked to one side. "I'm going to go see Mumma, Roscoe" he explained, smiling as the doggo barked in response. He wouldn't be able to take him to Madrid, he'd have to leave him with a dog sitter, but he couldn't feel too bad about it, since he had had Roscoe with him even when you were gone. And besides, Roscoe enjoyed the dog creche. He couldn't wait for Saturday.

Later in the evening, he sat down with a glass of wine, while the ringtone of your FaceTime rang through the empty house. After a few more seconds of ringing, the call was picked up, your tired face coming into view. "Hi darling" he said, noticing the tiredness in your eyes, and how much you were struggling to keep them open. "Hi bubs. Did you finish eating?" You asked, rubbing your eyes. "No, I've ordered soup" (did anyone get the reference ;) "Oh okay" was the reply. "What about you? What time is it?" "Its 9:20 AM" you replied, gently rubbing your eyes again, forcing yourself to stay awake.

"9:20? Thats pretty late baby. Why are you still sleepy?" "We were recording till 4 AM, so Im functioning on like 5 hours sleep right now" "Oh damn. Go back to sleep then baby" "Can't, rehearsal" was you reply, making him furrow his eyebrows. "Okay I guess. But don't tire yourself out" "I won't" "I love you" he said, smiling at you. "I love you"

*-*-*-*

The Madrid show was always a fun one. The fans were loud and you loved it. They were one of the best crowds you girls ever played for, and the show had its own adrenaline and excitement. But it was difficult to give a 100% when you were tired, but you really tried, you did. During Power, you hit highnotes you didnt think you could, during Woman Like Me you danced like there was no tomorrow. During Wasabi, you brought your sass level up to a 1000. It was during Bounce Back that you caught sight of a very familiar face in the audience. Unable to actually grasp if you had actually seen Lewis, you turned to Jade, who was on your side, and looked back at the crowd and back to her, asking for confirmation.

The smirk she gave you was answer enough. After that, focusing on giving an excellent performance increased tenfold. Every swirl of your hips, every flip of your hair, every wink you threw at the audience, it was all five times sexier. In the crowd, your boyfriend was well aware of what you were doing, and it was fair to say that you were succeeding at it. He could feel an uncomfortable sensation around his pants region, as his cock twitched uncomfortably in his pants. He couldn't wait till the show was over, and you two could have a show of your own.

*-*-*

"That was amazing darling!" Lewis said, spotting the 5 of you in your dressing room. "Oh look its Mr. Loverboy!" Perrie said, cackling as you rolled your eyes at her, before running up to your lover and jumping into his arms. "Hiya Bub! I missed you!" "I missed you too love. That's why I surprised you. I couldn't stand another day without you at home" he said, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you stable as you jumped into his arms. A chorus of "awws" echoed throughout the room, as the girls watched your cute little interaction. What wasn't cute however was the comment Lewis made in your ear, hiding his face in your ear so that the girls couldn't see. "I can't wait to get back to the hotel. I saw the performance you were putting on for me baby. You have no idea how hard I got, how uncomfortable I was standing in front of so many people when all I really wanted to do was fuck you"

You could feel your mouth become dry, and your heartbeat quicken, and you could feel the area between your thighs become wet. You tightened your grip around him, letting your crotch rub against his very softly. "I think it's time to go" you mumbled against his ear. "Okay girls, as lovely as it was to see you, I think it's time we go back to the hotel. I'm pretty worn out from travelling as well" "Yeah I'm pretty tired too" you replied, faking a large yawn. "Alright then, we'll see you guys tomorrow!" Leigh Anne said, leaning forward to give you a hug. After you finished hugging all the girls, the two of you made your way to the car, eagerly waiting to get back home.

The car ride home was tense. The tension was apparent in the air, reverberating through the air, choking you in a way you revelled in. The air was thick with tension, and it was suffocating you in the best way possible. It was almost too much to take. When the hotel came into sight, you practically leapt out of the car, and rushed to the door, an equally ruffled Lewis beside you. But he was not going to give in to you so easily. He enjoyed seeing you flustered. And he was not a person that gave someone what they wanted when they asked for it,no. He was going to have you desperate for it. Smirking to himself, he made his way to the reception, grabbing you by the waist as he went.

Throwing him a confused look you followed, slightly frustrated. "Hello sir, how can I help you?" the man at the reception asked, eyes going slightly wide as he recognized the two of you. "Hi! I just wanted to ask, till what time is your pool and spa open?" He asked, sliding his hand down to the back of your dress. "The pool closes at 10 pm sir, and the spa at 9 pm. We open the pool at 7 am and the spa at 11pm"he replied, struggling to maintain his professionalism as he spoke to one of the best drivers in Formula 1. "Alright thank you. And what time does breakfast start?" Lewis asked, hand pressing down on your ass, ever so discreetly. "Breakfast is from 6-10 am sir" "Thank you so much"

Next to him, you were fuming. Of course he was going to ask questions to which he already knew the answers to. A painful throb between your legs made you let out a small whimper, and the man at the reception looked at you with concern in his eyes. "Ma'am are you alright?" He asked, eyeing your stiff posture and tense state. "Yes, just tired, thank you" you replied, a little stiffly, but it was hard to concentrate when Lewis's promise of fucking you senseless kept replaying in your mind. "Alright then, good night" Lewis said, biting back a smirk at your flustered state. He knew getting you all riled up would lead to some seriously earth shattering sex, and he couldn't wait. But first, he definitely wanted to tease you, to push you over the edge, just a little more.

Your room was on the 16th floor, and as the two of you made your way into the elevator, he eyed you up and down, eyes lingering on the curve of your breasts. The minute the door shut, he pushed you against the wall, capturing your lips in a steamy kiss you'd be remembering the next day. His hands moved to your ass, squeezing hard, eliciting a moan from your lips. The moment your lips parted, he was pushing his tongue into yours, his other hand coming up to pull on your hair roughly, relishing in the gasp that left your lips. As suddenly as he started, he stopped, pulling back and standing almost nonchalantly against the wall.

Trying to wrap your head around what happened, you gripped the wall with your hand, feeling your legs grow weak to a point where you felt like you couldn't stand on your own. You could feel your wetness dripping, threatening to run down your thighs, as the throbbing became even more painfully exciting. You looked down at the floor, eyes closing as your frustration grew more and more by the second. Finally, with a little 'ding', the elevator stopped at the 16th floor. The moment the door opened you stepped out on wobbly legs, trying your best to walk properly. But of course, that wasn't going to happen. As you turned one long corridor, Lewis suddenly grabbed your waist, pushing you against the wall again, to reach down and suck on your neck. You let out a gasp, and tried to run your crotch against his, but the retaliated with a slap to your ass, smirking when a high pitched moan left your lips. Lifting you up against the wall, he mumbled against your ear "the key card" your clouded mind was unable to process the words, too consumed by slight relief you were getting. "Get the key card baby" he repeated. This time you noted it, reaching down to his pants pocket to pull out the key card. You couldn't resist running your hand over his cock, feeling how rock hard he was. The thought of him fucking you senseless returned, and you let out a groan.

Grabbing the card from your hand, he opened the door, propping you up against the door in your bedroom. His eyes were filled with a raw, animal desire, as he dropped the card on the floor and reached up to unzip your dress. He ripped the zipper down, your dress falling to the floor in a crumpled heap. He locked his eyes on your heaving chest, hand reaching up to grab your chin, pulling you in for a searing kiss. His hand slid up your torso, reaching behind to unhook the red lacy bra you were wearing, letting it drop to the floor as he took in the glorious sight in front of him. You waited, wanting him to just touch you, but he just stared, eyes looking into yours, clearly saying "beg for it"

You couldn't help the soft "please" that left your lips, too desperate for some sort of touch. "Please what?' Lewis said, tightening his grip on your waist. "Please" was all you could say again, nearly whimpering again at the rough look in his eyes. "Use your words baby. Now, please what?" "Please just touch me!" You finally gasped out, moaning loudly when he licked a stripe down your chest before taking your right tit into his mouth. His hand fondled the left one, running his thumb over your erect nipple, the rough pad of his thumb sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. His mouth sucked on the skin of your tit, before moving down to bite down on your nipple. You gasped again, pain and pleasure coursing through your body as his tongue ran over your nipple over and over till it nearly felt raw. He switched his actions, moving his mouth to your left tit instead, letting his hand harshly fondle the other. He continued the same process of biting, licking and sucking, till he was satisfied with himself. "I fucking love this baby. Seeing you all wet and needy for me. So what do you want? My mouth? My fingers? My cock? Or does my baby want them all ?" He asked, watching as your pupils dilated and you let out a strangled moan.

You let your crotch rub against his thigh, gasping when the friction went straight to your core. "Look at you darling. I asked you what you what you wanted, and you picked my thighs? Well, I want to see you dripping. I want to see you cum on my fingers, my mouth, my thighs and especially on my cock. I'm going to make you cum over and over and over again till you can't even stand on your own fucking legs. I want your thighs to be shaking around my head. I want to see you moan and groan and scream my name so loud, by tomorrow everyone in this hotel will know my name, because you'll spend all night screaming it" you moaned again, his words going straight to your core."Please Lewis, God, just make me cum please!" The desperation of your cry was enough for him to carry you to the bed, dropping your body onto the soft mattress.

He pulled of shirt, unbuttoning every button so you could see him do it. He could see your eyes grow dark, as his compass tattoo came into sight. You had told him it was one of your favourites, and he had used it against you ever since you had told him that. Smirking at you, he climbed onto the bed, lying down between your legs. You pushed yourself up against the headboard, spreading your legs wide for him. His eyes grew dark, as your core came into his view, shimmering with your juices. A near animalistic growl left his mouth, the sound hitting your core. He moved so that he was situated right in front of your core. He let his eyes take in the sight of you in front of him, snapping back to reality when you let out a groan of frustration. Throwing you a devilishly reassuring smile, he inched neared and nearer, till his nose was nearly touching your clit. Then he just lay there. Not moving. You could feel your heartbeat hammering against your chest, chest heaving up and down, an alarming intense feeling growing in your tummy. Finally, when it became too much you let out a small scream of frustration "Oh for fucks sake Lewis please just fuck me!" Your outburst brought a smile to his face. "Oh I will. Just not yet" and with that, he ran a finger along your slit, before finally slipping it into you. You let out a moan, finally getting the friction you had been desperate for. His fingers circled your clit, thumb gently pressing down, before he removed it,only to slam it back down on your sensitive clit, earning a scream of pleasure from you.

He slipped a second finger into you, scissoring around your clit, as your desperate cries of "oh, oh baby! Fuck, fuck lewis-" were lost in the heat of the moment. He leaned his head down to your core, letting his tongue run along your slit too, before licking around it, collecting your wetness on his tongue, before letting it harshly circle your clit. You bucked up into his mouth, feeling his tongue wrap around your clit. He sucked the nub harshly, his fingers still moving in and out of you. "Oh God, Oh GOD, Lew-I- oh! Oh God!" Your broken moans were music to his ears as he sucked your clit into his mouth. You could feel a strange intensity growing in your stomach, feeling a lot stronger than your usual orgasm. The band in your tummy was threatening to snap, but you needed that something more to help it snap. That something more came when Lewis sucked your clit into his mouth, letting it rest in between his teeth, before flicking it with his tongue.

With a cry of "Oh fucking hell, Lew-" you camr gushing into his mouth, your juices coating his fingers and gushing onto his tongue, as he let you ride out your orgasm on his deadly skilled tongue. Well, he had got his wish. Your thighs were shaking around his head, as your body tried to come to terms with the intensity of the pleasure coursing through your body. Looking down, you saw him with his painfully hard cock, grinding down on the sheet, as he let out a moan at the relief the bedsheets gave him. Raising an eyebrow, you patted your thigh, signaling him to come over to you. "You loved on me so well bubs. But I can see how hard you are. Do you want to use me to get off?" You asked, watching the effect you had on him. All he could do was nod, as you sat up on your knees. "Stand up" you ordered, getting up from the bed as well.

You walked over to the wall, letting your body rest against it. Somewhat confused, Lewis followed you, standing in the space between your legs. "I tried to get off using your thighs didn't I? I think you'll enjoy it as much as I did. So use me. Use my thigh. Get off" looking at you in pure shock, your boyfriend moved forward, groaning when you pushed your leg against his throbbing cock. He relished in the friction, slowly beginning to move against your leg, moaning when he began to rub against your leg. He began to hump your leg faster, as the pleasure began to build up in his body, before you reached your hand down to cup his length in your hands, moaning when you realized your fingers didn't quite meet. You ran your fingers along his length. You pumped him, letting your thumb circle his sensitive tip, eliciting a soft whine from him. You circled faster, moving down to your knees, and letting your tongue run up his shaft very softly. Above you, Lewis slammed his hands against the wall, groaning when you took him into your mouth.

But a part of him still wanted to cum inside when he was fucking you (in a condom, because wrap it before you tap it) so he pulled you back up, smirking when you whined. "I know baby, but I just really wanna fuck you now. Back on the bed please, unless you want me to take you here against this wall" practically running, you clambered onto the bed. You watched as Lewis pulled out a condom, ripping the packet open before climbing back on top of you. He let his hand rest on your hip, eyes temporarily losing some of the animalistic need that had been present in them. Leaning down, he connected your lips together in a kiss, a searing, intense kiss that took your breath away. "Ready love?" He asked, looking into your eyes, looking to see if there was even a slight hint that you didn't want this. But you did.

With a sudden jolt, he thrust himself into you, groaning when your warm walls clamped down on him. His hips thrust into you, starting off slow, letting you adjust to his massive length. "My sweet baby,taking me so well. Does it feel good?" You couldn't even respond, mouth agape, as his the pace of his thrusts increased. "Answer me" he said, suddenly stopping. Almost crying out at the loss of pleasure, you looked at him with desperation. "Yes yes, fuck it feels so good, please don't stop!" "Thats all you had to say baby" he said, before pushing in again, slowly. Then, he pulled back out. Looking at him in confusion, you gasped when he slammed back into you, a high pitched moan of "Lewis!" leaving your lips. He moved so that he had a better hold of your hips, rocking the both of you back and forth, the intensity of his thrusts was so much that the bed knocked back against the wall. What he wasn't expecting was for you to take his left thumb up to your mouth, running your tongue over it before sucking on it.

Moaning, he started thrusting into you even harder, shifting so that he was directly hitting your g spot. "Oh, God ! Oh fuck, Baby that feels so good please keep going keep-oh!" The cry that left your lips was so loud, you were sure Perrie in the room next to yours had heard you. "Fuck baby, you take me so well" Lewis said, as he nearly hammered your g spot. He was so, so damn close to cumming, and when you leant up and bit a sensitive spot on his neck, he came, gushing into the guard between you two, but he wanted you to cum to, so he reached down to pinch and rub your clit, still riding out his orgasm in you, moaning when you came with a scream. He winced when your core spasmed on his sensitive cock, and he pulled out slowly, before collapsing next to you. Panting, you curled up to him, letting your hand rest on his compass tattoo. "Okay that was Godlike" you said, earning a tired laugh from your lover.

"Yeah it really was. I missed you" he said, allowing you to nuzzle into his neck, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. "I missed you too" you replied, kissing the tattoo. "I love you too" As you lay there together, still revelling in the moment, your phone buzzed. Reaching over to check it, you saw your groupchat with the girls flooding with messages.

-*-*-

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Y/N, I'm filing a noise complaint. 🍆

Jade ✨ - Pez 😂 let them be. It's been a while for her.

Leigh 🦋- She really got some tonight huh? 😏

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️- LOL she did !! And it was obviously some goooood 'some' *wink wink*

Jade ✨- I could hear em too, and Im on the other end of the hall.

Leigh 🦋 - I know I did too! Must be some damn good sex. 😏

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Go Y/N !!

Jade ✨ - Can't wait till she reads this.

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Are they still going?!

Leigh 🦋 - No 😂 she's reading the messages. Y/N!! Yoohoo!

You - yes I'm here 🖕🏽

Jade ✨ - Did you have fun babe 😏

You - ..... yes

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - babe you can't really say no because we heard you

You- Im not saying I didn't have fun. But you guys need to calm down.

Leigh 🦋 - But its funnn

You - okay byeeee ❤

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Going for a round 2 😏?

You - okay I said bye.

Leigh 🦋 - she is !!

Jade ✨ - Go babe !

You - I need to leave this group.

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - No we love you !! ❤

Leigh 🦋 - Yeah don't leave us ❤

Jade ✨- Don't leave meee ! ❤

You - Haha I'd never leave you girls ❤ now bye.

Jade ✨ - bye babe !

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - bye you sexy minx 😏

Leigh - bye hun 💙

*-*-*

Smiling to yourself, you put your phone away, to see Lewis looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Who was it?" "Just the girls" you said, cuddling back up to him. "What did they say?" Giggling, you looked up to him and kissed his neck. "They said they're going to file a noise complaint. And they asked me if we were going for a round two" "Were we really that loud?" He asked, looking at you in surprise. "Yeah, even Leigh heard us and she's at the end of the hall!" "Damn" Lewis said laughing. "Well," he said, looking at you again, with a cheeky look in his eye, "they were right about one thing" "And what is that?" You asked, smiling at him mischievously. "We are going for a round two"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

@maxverstappenx @grandestrategia (because you are worth it 🦋💙)

[subpar-ghoulfriend]

School Nurse

@letstalkaboutfandomsbaby led me to yet another 2D man that I want to get wrecked by

How would a school nurse react to Hwajin’s presence? Dabauchery will ensue.

AN: this started out as a short little drabble, turned into a long smutty mess that I finally rangled in with romance because… after care. As a nurse I was getting to into the logistics of the pencil stab

TW: smut, degradation, praise kink, breeding kink, power exchange, mild wound description (pencil stab), sex in a nurses office, oral sex

NO MINORS

Hwajin knew you would look good on your knees. You had a bratty, stubborn nature that he wanted to overpower. He thought you were too gentle with trouble makers. When he told you this, you argued that it was your job as a school nurse to take care of all the students.

How was it that you were so hostile with him but when it came to even the worst students you were so gentle. It irritated him. You actively avoided him. Maybe he wouldn't care if he didn't find you so damn adorable. Thoughts of you kept him company late at night.

Even when he forced you to take a baton after he saw a student get in your face yelling. The only person you used it against was him. Apparently you wouldn't allow him to pull students out of your office regardless of their offense.

He was shocked to learn that few students ever bothered you. The worst offenders would constantly make advances at you and since you would have his head, he disciplined them only once you were out of range.

And you were equally irate. He treated you like a child when you tried to present him with research that aggression towards children under the age of 18 was just as detrimental as ignoring their bad behavior. You weren't against addressing the students inappropriate behavior, but the number of visits to your office had tripled upon his arrival.

It become rare that schools had a nurse on campus, barely coming back in to practice following the hands off policy. And at the most part you were mainly treating the faculty and the more unlucky students. If the Ministry of Education wanted to bring in people like Na, would you even have a job much longer?

/

"What are you doing here? I'm not harboring any students," You hissed as the warden entered your office.

"If I remember correctly, I'm here to oversee the whole school. That includes you. Besides I actually need medical help."

Hwajin turned the lock on the door before unbuttoning his shirt. He turned around to show you a shallow hole between his shoulder blades. You tried to keep the blush from creeping on to your face as you scanned his muscular body.

Apparently a student surprised him by sinking a pencil into his skin.

"Violence breeds violence," You chided when the realization hit. "Oh god, did you kill the student?"

You were truly alarmed. He took slight offense to that question. He wasn't a great guy but he wasn't going to kill someone on the job.

"Just give me something to bandage this up," he rolled his eyes.

You motioned for him to sit on the medical table but of course he had to make things difficult, choosing to straddle a chair instead. In spite of his protests that he could take care of things himself you pulled on a pair of gloves.

"Don't be such a pain, Mr. Na. There's no way you can properly clean what's on your back."

You probed around the wound that was already angry and red. The blood has begun to dry. Trying not to cause unnecessary pain you attempted to visually assess the bed of the wound for any debris that may lead to infection.

Instinctively he howled in pain as you began to clean.

"Will you just put a bandaid over it so I can get back to my job?"

You had to admit you were getting some sick satisfaction from this. The wound was clean and you applied an anti bacterial ointment but it was in a location where the skin tended to pull and stretch so you were sure it would bleed throughout the day-

"Are you smoking in my office?"

Hwajin gave you a cheeky grin before blowing smoke toward your face.

The nerve. In retaliation you flicked the inflamed skin while avoiding the actual wound.

"Ouch, you're cute when you get angry," Na laughed.

Your cheeks were scorching, "Okay Mr Na, you're all wrapped up. Stop by at the end of the day so I can change the bandage."

He winked while buttoning up shirt, "I knew you liked seeing me."

"Out." You hissed.

As he walked down the halls he chuckled to himself. He couldn't wait for you to submit to him.

/

Through out the day your mind wandered to Hwajin. Him sitting in front of you, shirtless and rippled with muscle. The parts of his skin left unscarred were so soft compared to his attitude. You wondered if his palms were as soft or were they were rough and calloused.

As if on cue the man walked into your office, catching you during one of your fantasies. Was it already the end of the day? Sure enough, the clock showed school let out half an hour ago.

Just like before he secured the door and stripped off his shirt. The bandage wasn't soaked, but it did need to be changed. The day warped your work and some of the tape was lifted away from his skin.

This time politely in the chair, he hummed as you removed and replaced the soiled bandage.

"Starting tomorrow you should just leave it open to air. This is really just to keep you getting your blood on your shirt. If you start thinking you have an infection go to the hospital." You turned around to discard your gloves.

As you turned back, you bumped into Hwajin Na. He smiled down at you and ruffled your hair, "Thanks, nurse, you took such good care of me. You'll have to let me thank you."

He lowered his mouth to your whisper in your ear, "what should I do for you?"

Your were in a losing position, you didn't want to make eye contact but you couldn't stare straight ahead, he still wasn't dressed and it was too overwhelming. You settled on looking down toward his feet.

You quickly snapped your eyes back up when you notice a bulge trying to push past his pants.

"Uh, no need to thank me. It's my job." You stepped back against the wall, at least giving you a bit more space.

Hwajin placed his arms against the wall so he could close the space between you.

"What's wrong? You're flushed. Let's see if you have a fever." He pressed forehead against your. "You feel a bit warm, but not worrisome."

You stammered, "Uh, Mr Na, it's late so we should probably wrap up."

"Mr Na," he mocked you. "Why do you do that? We're both adults, you can call me Hwajin."

Your eyes darted around the room. Maybe you were being punked. Was he testing you?

"It's respectful, it would be rude to call you by your first name."

He brushed a stand of hair behind your shoulder, pleased with your response.

"Well I can think of other titles you could call me that I would enjoy much more."

You were struggling between your desire and your fear of losing your job. Surely he knew what he was doing to you.

Of course he knew, the gleam in his eyes made that clear.

"Well, it's pretty late and I don't know about you but I'm tired after today so I'll see you tomorrow."

He dropped his hands and you took that as the end of his teasing. But instead he hoisted you against him, grasping the back of your thighs.

"My poor little nurse, I've kept you so busy. How about you lay down and let me help you relax."

"Hwajin, put me down," You smacked his shoulder. Listening, he sat you down the cot you constantly sanitized. In spite of what you were saying you allowed him to crawl on top of you.

"Hmm, now you use my first name, little nurse? And here I thought you were respectful," he nipped at your ears.

You shivered.

"Well pick one," You groaned. "First, no last name, then no first name. What's left."

His tongue darted across your neck while began tearing at your clothes, "how about you just be a good girl and call me 'Sir'."

At this point the primal part of your brain took over as you pathetically began to rub against his thigh. Your Irrational brain didn't need a job, it just needed this man to fuck her.

Nearly all your clothes were discarded to the floor as his mouth began to tease your breasts. Your hand tangled in his hair when sink his teeth into your tender flesh.

"Talk to me baby," he sighed. "Use your words, ask for what you want."

You lay out a whimper and tugged at belt loops, "fuck me."

He pinched your in thigh, "Now that's not using your manners. Am I going to need to teach you to behave?"

You mumbled a response that he could barely hear, eliciting another pinch to your thigh.

You huffed, "fine, please fuck me, Sir"

Pleased with your response he tugged your panties to the side, stroking your soaked pussy with his middle knuckle.

"Atta girl. You're so fucking wet for me. How long have you been waiting to be my little slut?"

He slid one finger inside of you with ease, arching you back as moved inside you. You were trying to fumble at his the button of his pants but he pushed your hands off him.

With a growl he removed his hands and your underwear from your body, "Not yet, although I'm flattered how desperate you are for me. Turn over, ass in the air, show me what's mine."

You were happy to obey, sliding into one of your favorite positions.

"You're not be very nice, sir," You teased. "You could at least remove your pants."

His hands came down hard on your ass causing you to cry out in pain and pleasure.

"Watch what you say, unless you like being disciplined. You already know I don't tolerate disobedience. And as much as enjoy your screams, don't forget that just because school is over doesn't mean everyone is gone."

You bite your tongue as he spanked you again. He certainly wasn't holding back. But he was right, there were after school clubs and some teachers stayed as late as 8. His fingers found their way inside your warmth again, fluid dripping from your aching cunt. You had adjust to his rhythm of spanking when his fingers were at their deepest. You felt so close to release. When he withdrew from you yet again.

You let out a frustrated groan until his hand made firm contact with your pussy. Once, twice, three times produce a wet spanking sound. You couldn't hold in your tears, thankful you were a glutton for pain.

"You still with me, princess?" He cooed, getting off the bed. You nodded. "Good girl, hold that position for me just a bit longer."

You nodded again, words evading your mind. You appreciated the coolness produced by the cot. Hwajin repositioned the pillow that had fallen on the floor and removed his belt.

Standing next to you on the bed he finally directed you into another position. He helped you stand, barefoot on the linoleum floor. You were held against his chest as you gathered your bearings.

He nuzzled against your hair, "I'm not a gentle man, if you need to stop at any time you say so okay. And that's an order. Can you do that for me princess?"

You told him you would as he helped you sink your knees to the pillow. He ruffled your hair again, telling you how good you looked. Finally he unzipped his pants, his erect dick right in front of you.

"Look at me."

You complied, tearing your ways away from his cock.

"If you want my dick then prove it. Open up that pretty mouth of yours."

He grabbed you by the hair, guiding your lips his shiny tip. Your tongue circled around him, admiring his taste. You weren't usually self conscious but you couldn't help but be nervous you'd disappoint him. As you began wrap your lips around him, Hwajin inhaled sharply. He gave your hair a gentle tug.

"Eyes on me. Good. You're doing so well. All the way to the base, baby."

You were almost there when there was a knock at your door. Hwajin kept his grip firm on you, instead of allowing you to pull back he shoved his throbbing dick down your throat and began fucking your mouth while putting a finger to his lips. He was smirking like the devil. Your throat constricting in protest.

"Excuse me, nurse," one of the school kids called. Knocking again.

"Fuck," Na muttered as he released into your mouth. Tears spilled over your eyes as you struggled to swallow.

The nock persisted, "hellooo? Come on I need to pick up a physical form."

"She's busy, fuck off."

As the footsteps faded down the hall Na released you from his grasp. He couldn't help but laugh at you when you pouted up at him, your were glistening and your cheeks were rosy and puffy. God, next time he swore he would take a photo of you on your knees after sucking his dick.

"Really, you had to open up your loud mouth," You whined. "You could've just pretended no one was here."

He shrugged in response, helping you off the floor.

This time on the cot you were both undressed. Hwajin sucked and bite on your neck. You nudged him off telling him he was gonna leave a mark.

"You're telling me I can't mark up my little whore?"

"Just not where students can see."

That was fair enough, there were other places he'd rather leave bruises. Between your thighs. Your stomach. Your breasts. Proof that he had made you his.

He wouldn't bite too rough, not want to scare you off. He planned on making more of these moments with you. You were better in person. Exceeding his late night fantasies.

Finally he began to slide his cock inside you, your pussy searing with pleasure at his size. It was a struggle to control the volume of your moans.

"Does my little slut like that? You want me to stuff you?"

"Please," You cried, needing more or his touch. "Please don't stop, Sir. Please let me cum on your dick."

Hwajin began to pound harder into your tight pussy, admiring how your body reacted to the sheer force of him. Each time he snapped his hips against you, your lush breasts, along with the rest of your body, followed with an intoxicating jiggle.

You were exactly what he needed and he wished to consume you. His mind flashed to images of you tied up and exposed for him, placing all of your trust in him. Or he could snap a pretty collar around your neck and tie you to the bed with a leash, you would be begging him to fuck you like a bitch.

"Tell me need me," he growled. "That no one else can fuck you into submission and make you dumb with pleasure. Your mine and I don't share."

Tears rushed down your face as a mixture of pain and desire burst the pressure in your core. You clenched around him, babbling what he instructed you to and meaning every word.

The tightness of your orgasm shocked both you and Hwajin. Paired along with your heat pushed the man past his limit, releasing his thick cum inside of you. Even through the near blinding pleasure of his own release Hwajin felt a moment of worry, he hadn't meant to pour himself inside of you, he was fully aware he wasn't wearing protect and had gotten your consent.

Between your gasps and moans you were were repeating a breathy thank you. Unless he had died and gone to Heaven You were actually begging him for more of his seed. Crying out that you needed him to stuff you full. The man nearly confessed his love for you on the spot.

However he maintained his composure. Pressing closer to you and guiding you through the high of your orgasm.

He combed his fingers through your hair, whispering praises and reassurance. Telling you to relax into him, he wasn't going anywhere. Finally your grip on him relaxed as a gluttonous smile graced your lips.

Na propped himself up next to you with his elbow. His other hand cupping your face.

You looked at Hwajin, "This doesn't mean I'm going to ignore your behavior towards the students."

"You know, seeing you protective over a bunch of snot nosed punks makes me want to fuck you until your nine months pregnant. It would keep you out of my hair while you were stuck waddling around home safe and sound. Win-win."

You gawked at him. Joking that you had yet to see any paternal instincts from him.

"I am actually great with children so long as their raised right. Like hell I'd let my kids turn out like these delinquents."

The two of you bantered back and forth while re-dressing. It was dark by the time you exited the school. Na was lighting a cigarette the minute he was past the schools threshold. You began to tell him goodnight where the two of you should naturally part ways but Hwajin caught you by the wrist, a confused expression thrown your way.

“Where do you think you're going? I'm not done with you yet," he said, cigarette hanging from his mouth. You were about to respond when he cut you off. "Round two will be so much better in my bed. You'll be lucky if You leave my place in time for work tomorrow. But we should probably feed you first. I gotta take care of my little nurse."