#i am truly sorry this took so long but y'know. I was busy standing outside of a venue for 3 days

[leiakenobi]

do please gush about the similarities

(re: this ask)

Okay I should have known better than to think that I could answer this in the midst of all the concerts I went to this weekend BUT now I've recovered so let's talk about the Poe Dameron and Max Verstappen of it all.

I think at the most fundamental level the thing that really gets to me about both of them is that people mischaracterize them as cocky when the fact of the matter is that they're singularly talented and they know it, and that's something very different. It's one of the things that makes me very protective against fanon portrayals of Poe and pretty much as soon as I learned enough about Max to see that in him, I started feeling the same way about him. Those boys can simply do things in their cars/ships that should be impossible and for anyone else it probably would be impossible.

Which, also along those lines, there's some very fun parallels to my mind in just how much they each push their vehicles to the furthest limits possible. It's less explicit in the films—the one specific example that comes to mind is the lightspeed skipping scene at the beginning of The Rise of Skywalker, when Poe has to quite literally be calculating hyperspace jumps down to the smallest increment on the fly or else they will quite literally die. But there's also some very cool details in the Last Jedi novelization about his flying—we get a little bit of BB-8 POV about how Poe quite literally makes his fighter do things that it shouldn't be able to do, except that BB-8 is so confident in Poe's abilities that he thinks that the ship is literally faulty for how often Poe's maneuvers set off alarms. And that, to me, is some Max Verstappen level nonsense.

There's some littler things too, like the emphasis they both place on their position as just the more visible representations of a much larger team that they've put their everything into, and also some very fun parallels about their pedigree (Poe's parents were both exceptional pilots in the Rebellion so Poe basically grew up in his mom's fighter, which also not to get too into the weeds is a model that requires such exceptional reflexes and control that in my daydreams of Poe as an F1 driver I'm convinced that he'd absolutely excel with the same sort of extreme oversteer that Max can handle).

So yeah they're my good good pilot boys and I think often about Poe meeting Max and just seeing so much of himself in him and then I have to lie down about it.

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Secret Wars chapter 5: Enter Thanos (originally posted on February 5, 2018)

AN: And so, here we are everybody. The final chapter of the first part of what might be considered one of my magnum opuses. I’ve certainly had a blast writing this so here we go. Let the end of the cosmos begin.

“Anything yet guys?” Connie asked her fellow Crystal Avengers keeping an eye out for their friends. “Nothing yet Connie!” Wasp called from high above as she searched the skies with Lapis and Vision. “I can confirm, our companions haven’t returned yet.” the synthezoid added. “Way to state the obvious Vis.” Lapis replied.

“You were right girl, this town’s food is amazing!” Wolverine exclaimed holding a few fry bits on one of his claws like a kebab. “Never really expected you of all people to act like this Wolvie. But then again, I’m a guy who was bitten by a radioactive spider hanging out in a town protected by magical rock people.” Spider-Man said. “Hey guys, I think we can see something!” Peridot shouted pointing at a strange dark shape in the sky. “You think it could be?”

“Steven!” they all cried out as the shape came into view, revealing itself to be the spaceship belonging to the Guardians of the Galaxy. Landing on the sand, the Crystal Gems, Avengers and Guardians emerged looking very damaged from their fight with Mephisto, both physically and emotionally. The moment Steven’s foot touched the grainy surface below him for the first time in a long while, he was greeted by Connie, Lapis and Peridot all hugging him. “Oh, hey guys.” he said rather flatly. “Steven, are you all right?” Peridot worried. “Pink boy not feeling good.” Hulk stated. “Pink boy’s friends should leave pink boy alone for a bit.”

“WHOA! Are you that Hulk creature the mutant talked about?!” the little green Gem gasped in amazement. “I totally won that fight!” Logan shouted hotly. “Yes, yes I am.” the strongest there is confirmed with a cocky grin before regressing himself back to Bruce Banner. “And I’m also a genius scientist to boot.”

“He-hey, P-dot, Tidal!” Rocket shouted fistbumping Peridot before Groot came in and hugged the three incredibly tight. “I am Groot!” the flora colossus cried shaking them in his wooden arms. The mood suddenly lightened up and everyone was cheerfully meeting each other once again. All except Thor. He was still mulling over their recent fight with the demon prince, about how he was now working for Thanos and had known about the Mind Stone. The stress proved far too great on the thunder god before he interrupted the camaraderie with a loud yell of “THANOS IS COMING!”

The scene went deadly quiet once more as they all turned to the prince of Asgard. “I-is something wrong Thor?” Spidey wondered. “Didn’t you hear me, Thanos has five Infinity Stones and is coming here to Earth for the Mind Stone!” Thor explained pointing his hammer to the ground for added emphasis. The group were stunned at the god’s explanation, Lapis especially as she simply mumbled under her breath, “Thanos.”

“What shall we do?” Doctor Strange wondered. “I say we all stay here and take him on ourselves!” Nebula declared. “That madman has gone on far enough and mark my words, he will pay!” she snarled. “Hey, chill out Nebula! We can’t go too far ahead!” Steven exclaimed trying to calm her down. “Steven’s right, we must evacuate this town so that Thanos can’t hurt any of its people.” Cap stated. “I’m going to need someone to warn the mayor of the invasion and organize an escape route somewhere far away from here.”

“I’ll go. I came here before all of you on some business of my own, so it makes sense that I tell ‘em.” Iron Man stated flying off toward Beach City. “Right. Peter, Hank Janet, you lead the townspeople out of here. Carol, T'Challa, Strange, you’re staying with us. And the rest of you return to base.” Steve commanded. “Wait, we have to leave?! But why?” Wolverine complained. “Because we won’t be important to the story from here on out.” She-Hulk answered. “Okay then.”

Flying above the small town, the Armored Avenger landed in front of city hall and shed his metallic suit to keep up appearances. “I’m here to see the mayor of this town!” he announced shoving open the doors. “Mister, we know you have important business but can you not open the doors like that?!” one of the secret service agents present said cornering him. “Stand down boys, he obviously wants to see me.” a short, elderly woman in a green suit stated making herself known. “Mayor Nanefua Pizza Mr. Stark, at your service.”

“Tony Stark madame mayor.” Stark greeted the mayor. “Listen, my teammates and I compel you to organize an evacuation plan for a giant purple spaceman with a golden baseball glove is coming down to kill us all!” he urged. “Wow, that is certainly pretty crazy Mr. Stark, but I’ll be sure to get on it!”

Within a few hours, Beach City was nearly empty, its civilians already preparing to leave. “Keep it going everyone, Thanos should be arriving soon so you should all try not to die!” Hawkeye said leading them all away. “So let me guess this straight, some moonman is coming for Earth because he wants some priceless jewels to conquer the galaxy?” Lars Barriga exclaimed as his parents tried to insert the Off Colors into a large moving truck. “Basically, yes!” Steven reiterated the pink teen’s statement. “And if we don’t stop him-”

“Then the universe is seriously janked.” Garnet finished for him. “Seriously Garnet, we need to make you eat soap at this point!” Amethyst said. “Y'know, when I came back to Earth after you & Connie had that space adventure, I did not expect this!” Lars said. “But then again, I died and came back to life on an alien planet, so what do I have to say?”

“Yeah speaking of which, are you sure you’re that donut boy Groot met when we first came here?” Rocket said. “Y'know, come to think of it you do seem familiar.” the former donut boy stated looking at Groot. “I am Groot.” the tree alien said. “I am Lars.”

“Okay, let’s stop this before it gets too far again.” Rocket said breaking the two up. “Now then, since everybody’s leaving, I think you and Connie should come with them.” he said to Steven. “What, but why?!” the boy cried.

“It’s for your own safety Steven.” Pearl stated. “We know you and Connie are both fairly powerful on your own, but Thanos is another five levels once he gets all the Infinity Stones!” she fretted. “They’re all right Steven, who knows what this Thanos guy can do.” Connie affirmed. “Indeed, he could wipe out half of all life in the universe with just a snap of his fingers!” Thor added. “And the same goes for you Lapis and Peridot.”

“Us too? But we can fight!” Peridot protested. “I’ve been watching a few old kung-fu movies and actually picked up some moves along the way!” She then began demonstrating said moves to the heroes, despite being rather clumsy in doing so and capping off with a crane stance.

“I admire both your spirit, and your budding martial arts skills, but I fear whatever powers you have won’t be enough against a cosmic warlord bent on dominating all creation.” Cap stated. “The captain is right guys, Thanos is not one to be messed with.” Lapis stated putting a hand on her barn mate’s shoulder. “I should know because I-” She immediately stopped herself from speaking any longer. “Goodbye.” Picking up Peridot and Pumpkin, Lapis sprouted her wings and soared away from Beach City.

“What’s her problem? She looked like she was gonna say she knows Thanos or something.” Star-Lord quipped. “That doesn’t matter, we should get you two to your parents post-haste kids.” Iron Man finally stated. “We are truly sorry Steven, but it’s for your own good.” Pearl said before hugging her young ward and the other Crystal Gems joined in. “We’ll stop Thanos and bring everyone home.” Garnet stated. “Yeah, we’re gonna kick his ass!” Amethyst exclaimed.

“Well, guess this is goodbye everyone. Good luck.” Connie said before finally being led away by Stark.

“Okay gang, everybody’s not present and accounted for.” Yondu confirmed gazing upon the deserted town. “In fact, why do they call it Beach City when the number of people living here doesn’t make it a city?!”

“Same reason why evil threatens the universe.” Clint answered. “Now come on, we gotta prep for Thanos.” He led the space pirate back to the temple where the others would be waiting for them. “How’s everything?” Natasha asked. “All cleared out babe, not a soul in sight.” her archer partner stated. “I sincerely hope Steven is all right. This reminds me of when Jasper invaded and he fled with the rest of the citizens.” Pearl said. “At least he has one of your own to watch over him.”

“Uh guys, I hate to break up the ambiance,” Rocket stuttered in fear. “but I think that giant spaceship about to land in front of us may belong to a certain someone.” The heroes all raced outside to discover a titanic aircraft easily dwarfing Beach City in size right over their heads. They immediately knew who this ship belonged to as they all prepared for battle. “It is time.” Black Panther declared.

Meanwhile in a highway far from town, the citizens of the coastline village were busy making their escape from the wrath of the Mad Titan. All it took was one look at his warship from the rear-view mirror for Greg to get a good idea of what his late wife’s companions were up against this time. “Sheesh, whoever this Thanos guy is sure doesn’t mess around!”

His son however was relatively quiet the entire drive. He was too busy musing over their encounter with Mephisto during their space adventure. According to him, he had been involved in the Rebellion as well. But who did he fight for? He most certainly wouldn’t side with Rose but he’s not sure if the Diamonds would be that comfortable with him. Would that mean Thanos had his part to play in it. After a few minutes of contemplation, Greg broke the silence. “Anything all right Schtu-ball?”

“I’m fine Dad, I’ve just been thinking lately.” Steven replied. “Did Mom ever tell you about anything related to the Infinity Stones?” he asked his father. “No, as usual. In fact, unlike all the other messy stuff of that war, she must really want to keep that under wraps.” Greg answered. “But whatever happened, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” he assured his son. “Yeah but I’ve heard Thanos can destroy anyone given the chance, the Gems have a good reason for making me flee again! Hopefully there’s someone that can help me out here.”

“Did someone call for some emotional support?!” Spider-Man suddenly exclaimed peeping into the front window of Greg’s van. The two were immediately startled and nearly swerved into another car before regaining their composure. “Oh, you must be that spider guy.” Greg stated. “What was your name again? Scarlet Arachnid, Spinneret, Silk, Web Boy…”

“Spider-Man, thank you very much.” the spectacular webslinger corrected the former rock star. “Now as I was saying, did someone call for some emotional support?” he asked cheerfully. “I did!” Steven shouted raising his hand. “I can stop so you can get in if you want sir.” Greg offered. “Sure thing, but I prefer to web-swing.”

Latching onto the roof of another car, Peter used his web-shooters to pull open the back door and jumped right in, closing behind him. “And he sticks the landing!” he shouted before imitating a crowd cheering for him. “Yeah, whoo, go Spider-Man, do a flip!” Greg just chuckled still keeping his eyes on the road. “Wow Spidey, that was really cool!” Steven exclaimed. “Makes me wish I was as cool as you.”

“Aw don’t say that. You’re pretty cool the way you are.” Peter said taking off his mask to wipe himself off after the earlier landing. “I mean c'mon, you’re the son of an alien warrior lady who helped protect the Earth thousands of years ago! You still got a lot to learn kid. After all, with great power comes great responsibility.”

“Where did you learn that?” the boy wondered. “Someone important to me that I lost too, just like the Gems.” Spidey answered thinking back to his beloved late Uncle Ben. “So what do you say kid, wanna save the world?” he offered reaching his hand out. “Sure!”

“Now hold on just a second!” Ant-Man suddenly appeared in front of the two young men. “Steven, I know you have a legacy to uphold, but Thanos is just an absolute beast! With all six Infinity Stones, he could practically become God!” the scientist cautioned Steven.

“Oh lighten up Hank, he just wants to help.” Wasp stated growing into view as well. “How many more unexpected passengers can I get! Who’s next, Ghost Rider?” Greg joked. He then finally stopped the van and got out with the three heroes & his son, whom he hugged goodbye. “Be careful out there little guy, we’re all counting on you.”

“I’ll be okay Dad. I love you.” Steven said his farewells before jumping up on the arachnid Avenger’s back. “You ready kid?” he asked his young fan. “Wait, we should make a quick stop first. I know a few others who need a pep talk.” He turned on a GPS on his phone and began scoping the countryside scene before pointing to a building in this distance. “Let’s swing thataway!” he ordered. “Roger roger squirt!”

The two swung off into the distance leaving the winsomely astonishing duo and the car wash owner behind. “Steven is right, those Gems aren’t going to last long without a leader.” Pym declared shrinking down and hopping on the back of a winged ant. “Right, let’s fly!” Jan replied miniaturizing as well and chasing her husband.

The hour has finally come.

Thanos has arrived.

The Avengers, Crystal Gems and Guardians of the Galaxy stood their ground before the spaceship, preparing for whatever threat would come their way. The bay door opened revealing not the Mad Titan, but instead his minions the Black Order.

At the very center was their leader Corvus Glaive, a grey-skinned alien dressed in all black and carrying his namesake weapon. By his side was Proxima Midnight, a beautiful blue-tinted woman bearing a golden trident.

Behind them were Ebony Maw, a rather wormy looking fellow with a silver tongue, Black Dwarf, the brute of the team who’s size & strength could compare with the Hulk’s and finally Supergiant, a deranged wraith who can control gravity. The five aliens looked down upon their opponents with cocky grins decorating their features until Corvus finally spoke. “Well, it seems these Avengers have made some new allies.” he declared. “Quite familiar looking ones in fact.”

“Yes indeed, it’s been quite a while since we heard from the Crystal Gems. I was convinced they were all shattered or corrupted.” Ebony added. “Can’t wait to finish what the Diamonds tried to start.” Dwarf threatened bearing both his axe and his mace.

The heroes simply glared furiously at the Order, giving no answer to their boasting. “What is the matter? No words, just going to skip straight to the action?” Proxima wondered. Just then, Garnet finally spoke up. “Leave this planet immediately Black Order, and tell Thanos we’re waiting for him!”

“About time, all this abuse of the silent treatment was getting me bored!” Supergiant exclaimed with a sadistic grin. “Now then, let us get started!” She telekinetically summoned a legion of four-armed reptilian beasts that towered over the group, snarling at them. “Outriders!” Captain America exclaimed. “Get ready everyone, we’re in for the fight of our lives.”

The ultimate battle for the fate of Earth has finally begun. If the alliance between the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, the Crystal Gems and the lovable a-holes claimed victory, peace would return and the Infinity Stones would be left untouched by evil once more. But if Thanos won, it would mean the end of the universe.

It was a quiet night at the barn that Lapis Lazuli and Peridot had called their home away from Homeworld. It was originally the Crystal Gems’ base of operations while dealing with the Cluster and since became a new living space for the two Gems.

However, ever since Lapis had returned to Earth after fleeing to avoid another Gem war, things had become a bit different. Like for example, Peridot currently laid on a hay bale reminiscing about the Crystal Temps’ battle with the leader of AIM known as MODOK, his speech about she was there to provide comic relief instead of being useful to the Crystal Gems continuing to echo through her head.

“Well it’s because despite being a member of the Crystal Gems, you are pretty much useless to them! Only being there to provide comic relief. Join me and I shall help you learn your true potential!” he spoke in her thoughts. Looking once again at her miniscule form in a mirror, she sighed miserably and grumbled to herself. “Guess he was right. I really am useless to them.”

“Is something wrong Peri?” Lapis wondered flying to her side with Pumpkin in her arms. “It’s just that that Mo-whatever guy told me about how useless I was to Steven and the Gems. Now that we’ve been ordered to stay at the barn while they fight that Thanos guy, it makes me think that we really are there to provide comic relief.” the little green technician moped before her blue roommate got down on her knees and hugged her. “It’s okay Peridot, you aren’t useless. I mean, you helped save the Earth and got me adjusted to it! What matters now is that we should just wait until the time is right for us to become full on Crystal Gems.”

“And I seriously can’t wait for that day!” Steven called as Spider-Man touched down in front of the barn with Ant-Man and Wasp following behind. “Hey girls, how’s it hanging?” the web-slinger greeted them. “Is this really your home because I kind of expected something a bit more futuristic.”

“Oh it is alright spider-friend. This barn may have termites and a large crack in the ground, but it’s the best we can get!” Peridot beamed at the young man. “We usually spend our days here making meep morps, or what you humans might call art, and watching Camp Pining Hearts.” Lapis added. “Camp Pining Hearts? My Aunt May and I love that show!” Peter exclaimed. “Except for season 5.”

“I know, right!” Steven & Peridot exclaimed in unison before laughing. “I know all of us here are fans of that show, but let’s get to the important topic here: saving the world.” Hank stated. “Yeah, if we don’t race to Beach City soon, Thanos could kill us all!” Jan added, much to the barn Gems’ shock. “Wait, we’re actually going to fight him?!” Lapis yelled. “But that could lead to another war, and I don’t want to get involved in one.”

“C'mon Lapis, we have to do this together! Steven and the Gems need us!” Peridot tried to convince her to change her mind about battling the conqueror. “Earth is our home now. Isn’t it worth fighting for?” It took some time for the ocean Gem to think about this. On one hand, Thanos is indeed a force to be reckoned with and could certainly annihilate them if they’re not careful. But on the other hand, he could destroy the planet that they’ve decided to call home. She finally turned around and made her decision. “I’ll fight.”

“Great, now let’s head back to the town and help the others!” Hank declared mounting his winged ant again. “Wait, first I gotta make a call.” Steven decided pulling out his phone to talk to Connie.

“Hey Steven, are you somewhere safe yet?” she asked. “That’s why I called you Con. I’m gonna fight Thanos.” he declared. “What? Hold on, maybe I can get my parents to drive me to your location! Where are you?” Connie cried. “No, I don’t want you getting involved. You may be pretty powerful on your own, but deep down you’re just a human. I’m so sorry.” Steven began to cry as he hanged up on his best friend.

“It’s okay Steven, you’re doing the right thing just like what your mom would’ve done.” Peter dried his tears. “Thanks Spidey, let’s go.” Steven got up on the teen hero’s back again and left the barn, this time with Lapis and Peridot by their side. Pumpkin was left behind, but little did the vegetable canine know its home was in serious peril as a portal opened behind the barn.

“It seems you’ve gotten weaker since we’ve last met Garnet.” Corvus declared pinning the fusion to the ground with his glaive while the Outriders outmatched the others. “Guess without your beloved savior to guide you, you’ve also become more foolish.”

“We may not have Rose Quartz around, but we’re still capable of defending Earth!” Garnet declared gripping the blade and tossing Glaive into the sand. “Nice going there Garnet, keep him down!” Rocket cheered dismembering a few Outrider arms. “At this rate, we shall emerge victorious!” T'Challa boasted. “Is that so king of Wakanda?”

A new individual has shown himself, this time being the man himself. The Mad Titan, the nihilistic would-be significant other of Death. His purple skin, furrowed chin, blue & gold armor and his piercing red eyes looking down upon them as he sat in his throne were unmistakably recognizable.

Thanos.

“Well well well, what do we have here?” he wondered in a mocking tone raising his left hand to reveal none other than the infamous Infinity Gauntlet, containing five of the Infinity Stones. “Thanos!” Pearl cried readying her spear.

“The Crystal Gems. We meet again at last.” Thanos stated descending from his throne with both his arms out, almost like some holy figure. Touching down on the sand beneath them, he took a moment to examine the carnage that once was his army of Outriders. “And it seems not much has changed about you since the Rebellion. Now who do I destroy first?”

He prepared an energy blast from his left hand and aimed it at each of the heroes, deciding on which one of them to eliminate. “How about you be the first to die my dear Garnet?” Thanos threatened before suddenly, his face was suddenly covered in spider webs. “WHAT?!” he shouted tearing the silk off his face. “Ain’t nobody going to die here Thanos!” Steven cried as he, Spider-Man, Lapis, Peridot, Ant-Man and the Wasp charged into battle. “Ah, the cannon fodder has arrived.” the Mad Titan smirked. “I do love a moving target.”

“Wait milord!” Ebony Maw halted his master before he could do any more harm. “I must ask you, does that terraformer with them seem familiar to you?” he asked. “Now that you think about it, she does look like the one deployed during the Rebellion.” Thanos stated, much to the shock of the other heroes. “Greetings wayward Lazuli of Blue Diamond.”

“Wait, you know Thanos?!” Steven gasped as the ragtag group touched down next to their compatriots. “Yes indeed small child, my minions remember her quite fondly, Ebony and Dwarf especially.” Thanos answered. “It’s true, I have met them when I was sent to Earth.” Lapis began to reminisce on that fateful day.

The Rebellion was in full swing when Lapis Lazuli, a terraformer sent by Blue Diamond to form new Kindergartens on Earth, was thrust in the middle of it. She tried her best to avoid the carnage, the Gem shards raining everywhere and the soldiers fighting for their lives until she found a safe spot behind a lone tree.

She figured she would stay there until most of the fighting stopped until she bumped into a monster that towered over her. A monster with orange reptilian skin, empty yellow eyes, a mouth full of sharp fangs and dual-wielding both a stone mace & an axe.

“Where are you going puny water witch?” he snarled, causing her to back away into another being with grey skin, chalk white hair, ornate black & white robes with gold trim and devilish blue eyes that had a faint glow in them. “Are you lost little one, afraid perhaps?” this other creature purred. “I’m not lost, I was only supposed to make a quick visit before all this happened!” Lapis cried not being able to comprehend her current situation. “Who even are you two anyway?!”

“Ah yes, apologies for being so uncouth.” the grey alien bowed gracefully toward the ocean Gem. “I am Ebony Maw of the Black Order, and this is my companion Black Dwarf.” he, now calling himself Ebony Maw, introduced himself and the larger alien. “We are fighting in this war for our lord and master Thanos, who wishes to destroy both the Great Diamond Authority & the rebels led by Rose Quartz to conquer all that lives in this universe.” Black Dwarf stated. “See that shadow over there, that is he.”

He pointed toward their master in the distance, laughing maniacally as he ended the lives of all Gems, Crystal and Homeworld alike, that dared challenge him. The only one that was able to match the Mad Titan were a Rose Quartz and her terrifying Pearl. “Is that really your master?!” Lapis gasped as she watched the pink warrior face Thanos in battle. “Indeed he is terraformer.” Ebony commented silently rooting for his boss. “Speaking of which, do you ever feel like you feel dissatisfied with your current position?”

“What?! No, as a high-ranking member of Blue Diamond’s court I’m basically treated like royalty! I’m like my Diamond’s princess!” Lapis shouted trying to escape from the two.

“But that’s the thing, when all Gems are born they are ordered to do one meaningless task for the rest of their days. Does that seem boring to you?” Maw wondered getting uncomfortably close to her. “Yes, when working under Thanos we get to murder who we want, how we want and when we want!” Dwarf added with a bloodthirsty grin. “So what do you say little Lazuli, are you ready to earn your freedom?”

Lapis was now faced with a rather hefty offer. If she joined this Thanos they spoke so highly of, she could live her own free life and do whatever she should, but if she didn’t she would be as good as dead. But looking at Thanos, she would rather be shattered than join such a psychopath. Finally, with her eyes darkened, she made her decision. “I choose…” she began. “TO DIE!”

“I thought you would say that.” Ebony Maw stated motioning his bodyguard to his side with a snap of his fingers. “Black Dwarf, shatter her.” he commanded. “With pleasure.” Black Dwarf accepted preparing his weapons. He barreled toward the terraformer preparing to strike before she smacked him silly with a pair of water fists around her arms. “Leave me alone!” she screamed fighting back.

The two proceeded to duke it out while Ebony calmly spectated. Black Dwarf nearly came close to shattering Lapis and vice versa with Lapis against Dwarf. Eventually she dealt the finishing blow with a tsunami that washed the alien away as he vowed revenge. “Very well then. We shall meet again someday Lapis Lazuli, and then you will join us.” the minion of Thanos gave one last warning before retreating into a portal.

Lapis took a deep breath of relief after the fact. With that, she could be able to fly away from this planet as fast as she can before she felt a sudden sharp pain in her back as a Bismuth punched her in the gemstone. She had no time to react before her physical form fell apart and retreated back into her gem.

“So that’s why you shut your trap when talking about him.” Rocket said. “Guess I was right!” Star-Lord replied. “Looking back on the old days is fine and all, but we still got Thanos to deal with!” Captain Marvel exclaimed. “Exactly Captain, I am just eager to finally settle the score!” Ebony shouted giddily. “Dwarf, finish her off.”

“With pleasure Maw.” Dwarf snarled before charging at the alliance. They all prepared for an awesome showdown before charging into battle. Thanos just stood there and watched as his Black Order took on the accursed rebels and their allies. Captain America & Garnet teamed up against Corvus and Proxima while Pearl & Thor handled Ebony & Supergiant and Lapis contended with Black Dwarf. The rest all took on more Outriders summoned to fight.

“For Beach City, for Midgard!” Thor roared tossing his mighty hammer at Supergiant, who swiftly dodged it. “You missed Thor!” Pearl shouted. “Did I?” the future king of Asgard grinned reaching out for his trusted weapon. When it finally returned to him, it smacked the wraith square in the back of her head in its path. “You may be a god Odinson, but can you compare to a servant of Thanos?” Maw bragged summoning a large boulder over him with telekinesis. He chucked it at the duo but then with the combined might of Asgard’s finest warrior and the Crystal Gem, it was reduced to gravel.

“I have always wanted to fight such a stable fusion.” Proxima said clashing with Garnet. “Reminds me of the love between my dear Corvus and I.” she added gazing lovingly at her husband as he jabbed at Cap’s shield. “Wait, you two are in love?!” the fusion exclaimed trying to punch her in the face. “No you fool, we are married!”

“I would say congratulations, but you need to leave!” Garnet shouted landing a punch on Midnight’s midsection. “You wouldn’t understand fusion!” the female minion of Thanos shouted stabbing her opponent in the face with her trident, which caused her to defuse into Ruby and Sapphire. “What?!”

“We’re not just a fusion Proxima.” Sapphire declared creating a spear out of ice. “We are a conversation!” Ruby finished for her lover summoning her gauntlet. The two small Gems charged at the taller blue woman while Corvus continued fighting Cap.

“Why do you keep resisting fool? Don’t you see our master will destroy you once he obtains all six Infinity Stones again?!” he cried managing to produce a few dents in his shield. “Because we’ve beat him before and we’ll beat him again!” Steve declared tossing his shield and knocking out a few Outriders for Amethyst & Mantis before returning to his side.

Black Dwarf meanwhile was evenly matched with Lapis. Normally, he would’ve fought evenly with a Gem like Garnet, Rose, Bismuth or Jasper but Lapis was different. They were on a planet that was mostly water, her main element. She was basically on par with him here, but maybe if he could throw her off somehow. “The offer still stands terraformer, join us or face oblivion!” he boomed trying in vain to hit her with his mace. “No, I’ve chosen to defend Earth from the likes of you! You can shatter me all you want, but you’ll never take my freedom!” Lapis declared.

“That’s my girl!” Peridot cried as she rode on Hulk’s back while he plowed through Outriders. “Thanks Peri.” Lapis wistfully said turning to her best friend before being knocked face-first on the ground. “Well then, oblivion it is girl.” Dwarf snarled as he slammed his axe on her gem, cracking it. This in turn turned Lapis’s colors a darker shade of blue and her eyes glassy, almost mirror-like. “Oh no, not again!”

“Lapis!” Steven cried trying to save his friend. “Do not cry for her boy, she will perish just like all the Gems in the rebellion before her!” the brute shouted driving his weapon deeper, making her scream in pain. “That’s right! LOUDER!” he exclaimed, finding joy in her struggling. If his axe were to go any deeper, Lapis would be shattered right then and there. She couldn’t take this. She was powerless once more, facing the possibility of death and began to sob as he continued striking at the crack.

“You leave her alone you giant clod!” Peridot screamed using her ferrokinesis to grab Dwarf by his axe and toss him into a group of Outriders.

“Whoo, that’s my Kindergartener!” Amethyst cheered for her fellow shorty. “Yes, she is quite powerful!” Mantis added clapping before she was suddenly cornered by a very angry Black Dwarf. “Hey, leave my homegirls alone you big lizard!” the defective Quartz exclaimed grabbing him by the neck with her whips and tossing him around. “And I thought Thanos trained you better than that.”

“You ignorant worm! I shall grind you into dust!” Black Dwarf was at his breaking point, ready to destroy anything that dared cross him until his comrade Corvus stopped him. “Savor your strength brother, they are not worth our time anymore.” he stated. “Right, maybe we should let Master Thanos obliterate them.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Thanos added preparing for battle. He raised his gauntlet-clad hand once again with an air of superiority surrounding him. “You leave them alone!” Steven shouted summoning his shield before he was punched aside. “No boy, this is between me and the rebels.” the Titan stated marching towards the Gems. Pearl was the first to stand up to him as she clashed her spear with his finger. “I remember fighting you in the Rebellion Thanos! Destroying thousands of Gems all for the sake of Lady Death was just utterly heartless!”

“That reminds me Pearl, how’s Rose doing?” the conqueror asked her with a manic smirk. “Well she uh, uh.” the lost defective Pearl began to stutter before she finally gave her answer. “She died to give birth to a child, whom was the one you punched.” she said gazing at Steven as he healed Lapis off to the side. “And are you still in love with her?” Thanos added. “Yes, but I’m trying to move on from-”

“I’ve heard enough. To be a great defender, you must let go of past mistakes and look to the future, but I believe you prefer to stay in the past with your beloved.” the destroyer insulted her. “Well you shouldn’t be saying that Mr. 'In Love with a Cosmic Deity That Isn’t Interested’!” Pearl shouted before she was grabbed by the torso and thrown away. “That is where you belong Pearl, thrown away like a forgotten toy! Perhaps that’s why you abandoned your Diamond.”

Then Amethyst attempted to fight him, strangling him with her weapon. “My my, is that an Amethyst I see?” he wondered. “Excuse me little one, I want to see Amethyst.” Amethyst was understandably enraged by his insult and pulled him down to the ground with a scream. “Don’t call me little like that ever! Ya hear me?!” she shouted turning into her Purple Puma form, jumping into the air and smacking him with an elbow attack before he grabbed her arm and tossed her to his feet. “I expected better from a Kindergarten.”

“That is enough Thanos!” Doctor Strange unleashed a barrier around the hybrid alien. “Doctor Strange, how good to see you again. For the last time.” Thanos boasted. “Garnet, now!” the Sorcerer Supreme commanded the newly refused Garnet as she charged toward the Titanian and kicked him right in the jaw.

“Leave my comrades alone Thanos or face my wrath!” she declared preparing to launch her gauntlets like rockets at him. “And what would your "wrath” be? Just standing around and doing nothing while your teammates get up to nonsense chicanery?“

Garnet immediately ceased fire to comprehend Thanos’s words, when suddenly Hulk, Thor, Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Ant-Man, Wasp, Spider-Man, Star-Lord, Drax and Groot attacked the Titan all at once. "PURPLE MAN HURT PINK BOY AND FRIENDS! HULK RIP OFF PURPLE MAN’S HEAD!” Hulk screamed. “Your days end here monster!” Hank shouted about to perform a flying kick before the Titan just mock-yawned and blasted them all away.

Then both Gamora & Nebula tried to fight him. “We’ve lived with your abuse for far too long!” Nebula screamed trying to stab her adoptive father before she was grabbed by the head and knocked out cold. “Take her away.” he simply commanded a lone Outrider who grabbed the Luphomoid’s unconscious form and scampered away, leaving the others crying her name.

“Get a load of this big guy!” Rocket roared while he and Yondu fired multiple arrows that simply failed to hit him not even once. “Are you all done yet?” was the flattest response Thanos could muster with a seriously bored expression on his face.

“We’re not done!” Peridot & Lapis cried out in unison preparing to stop him. “Oh look, the comic relief has arrived.” Thanos said turning to the barn mates. “You too Thanos?!” Lapis exclaimed incredulously preparing a tidal wave to wash him away. “Yeah, we’re Crystal Gems too!” Peridot added snatching Corvus Glaive’s weapon from his hands and took up arms. “If you claim to be Crystal Gems, then where are your stars?” He pointed straight at Peridot’s chest where that diamond symbol still hanged. “I-I’ll get mine soon, I’m just really hard to poof!”

“If these failures refuse to give you one, then maybe I can bestow it myself.” Thanos stated gesturing towards their fellow Gems as they struggled to get up before raising his left hand, preparing to destroy her and Lapis. Pretty much every one of the heroes was down for the count all except for two people: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. “There’s only one way out of this.” Stark glowered at the Mad Titan behind his back before calling for Jarvis. “Jarvis?”

“Yes Mr. Stark?” Jarvis asked, ready to accept whatever command he was given. “Bring in Veronica.” Tony ordered. “Are you truly sure sir? After the last time you used it, it’s still in need of repairs.” the AI tried to advise against it. “I don’t care, we need to stop him!” Tony shouted. “All right then. Sending in Veronica.”

High above the battleground, a jet launched a crate with the Stark Industries name on it and crashed down right on top of Tony. The crate broke apart to reveal a large Iron Man armor as tall as Dr. Banner’s mutated half. This was Mark XLIV, the Hulkbuster.

“This is where we finish this Thanos.” Iron Man declared as Cap and the Hulkbuster charged toward him, ready to just end it all. “No, this is where I finish you.” Thanos heartlessly tore the Hulkbuster armor apart and pushed Tony away while Steve stumbled back.

It was over.

Thanos had won.

“Now all I need is the Mind Stone to become omnipotent.” he stated. That was when he heard the Captain begin to chuckle, followed by a light snicker and then finally a loud laugh for everyone to hear. “Cap!” Steven cheered rushing to his idol’s side.

“Why are you laughing?! You’ve lost!” Thanos wondered out loud. “It’s because we may have lost against you many times before Thanos, but we’ll always come out on top no matter what.” Rogers declared smirking. “And as long as one man stands against you, you will never claim victory.”

“My mom saw the beauty in everything. But I’m sure she didn’t see it in you.” Steven added with a determined glare. “Such noble sentiments from two mortals who are about to die.” Thanos declared preparing once more for battle. This was it, the final epic battle for the Infinity Stones and the fate of all that lives within the universe. The half-human son of Rose Quartz and the First Avenger against the almost all-powerful Mad Titan.

Thanos made his first move, pounding the sand beneath them with his fist to blind the two and firing an energy blast from his hands. “Out of the way!” Steven cried and the two dodged it. “Good maneuvers there kid!” the Star-Spangled Man with a Plan commended his young fan’s brilliance. The boy had no time to geek out over this as Thanos prepared to fire from a large rifle.

“Stasis gun!” Rogers exclaimed before Steven pulled out his shield to block the blast. “The shield of that accursed Rose Quartz! Then that must mean-” Thanos realized. “You must be her son.”

“I know, but I’m not like her! My mom may have done some bad things in the past, but I’m gonna make up for them!” Steven proclaimed. “Typical Rose Quartz, always using others to further her own goals like the fool she is.” the Mad Titan sarcastically lamented. “No, you’re the fool here for claiming you can just win all over again!” Cap declared fiercely. Thanos felt something snap in him, as if a small string finally gave way. He did not like how this puny human had just insulted him and gotten off scott free.

Without even the slightest of hesitation, Thanos ripped Captain America’s shield from his hands, broke it in two, stabbed him with both halves and shoved him into the cliffside, knocking him unconscious.

“STEVE!” they all cried out for their friend, terrified at what Thanos has done. “That could happen to the rest of you if I am disrespected any further.” the Titan declared. “Now hand over the Mind Stone or this planet shall become a forgotten memory.”

“Just let him have it Steven, we just can’t take it anymore.” Pearl finally resigned as the Crystal Gems felt utterly defeated despite their efforts. “You can take the Mind Stone, just please don’t hurt any of my friends or this planet.” Steven begged Thanos. “Hm, I shall give you this. You know how to put the needs of others before yours.” the villain complimented him. “Go, retrieve your stone. And I solemnly swear your planet shall remain living.”

“Come on everyone. For Earth.” Garnet declared getting up and leading the other Gems to the Burning Room. Opening the door, they walked inside and Steven jumped up to retrieve the Infinity Stone in its bubble. The rebels took one long last look at the artifact, still glimmering within its bubble before taking back outside where Thanos was waiting, eagerly anticipating the final stone.

“Here it is Thanos, the Mind Stone.” Steven popped the bubble and held out the stone for Thanos to take. “Thank you very much boy.” he thanked the child taking it out of his mitts and finally inserting it into the Gauntlet.

It was all over, the Gauntlet was complete and Thanos has now become a god. With just a wave of his hand, entire galaxies could tremble at his feet or he could destroy the entire universe and remake it in his image. But as for now, he will just relish in this victory over the incompetent rebels Rose left behind.

“I shall have you know son of Rose, or Steven Universe as they refer to you, that from now on my reign of terror shall be blamed on you and your planet. What’s left of the universe shall desire to carve out your heart and sacrifice it to me as their new god.” Thanos boomed one last time. “Even centuries from now when your pitiful Crystal Gems fade into the wind, they will tell stories of how one little boy has doomed them all.”

“I don’t care, you promise that Earth will live, right?” Steven wept before sobbing in Garnet’s arms. “Indeed child, Earth will be spared from my wrath. For now.” He then turned back to his intimidating vessel. “My Black Order, return to my side! It is time to lay siege to a certain empire.” His loyal minions did as they were told as they wearily stood up and returned to their lord’s aide before entering the ship.

Thanos simply looked back at the Gems with an arrogant sneer before the spaceship’s entrance finally closed and it took off, leaving Earth behind. “Now then, let’s see how Rogers is doing.” Pearl stated blankly walking over to the others, in which Tony, Hank and Strange checking his vitals. “Anything Tony?” she asked. “He’s all right, just knocked unconscious and in critical condition. But we don’t know if he’s going to make it out okay.”

“I-it’s okay guys! Superheroes die and come back a lot! He’s gonna come back eventually, right guys?!” Spider-Man tried to lighten their spirits in his usual manner, but to no avail. There was an air of dead silence in the area.

To the Avengers, they had lost a dear friend and a leader. To Lapis and Peridot, though they hadn’t known him long, they felt their pain. To the Guardians, they lost a trusted ally. But the Crystal Gems took it the hardest.

Garnet lost someone whom she could call an equal. Amethyst lost someone she could aspire to be like. Pearl lost the man whom she bonded with and was the closest to him out of all the Avengers. But to Steven, he lost his hero, his idol, the very super he looked up to. He had learned from him to stand up for what is right no matter the odds, to be with the ones you love til the end of the line, but most importantly to bring hope to even the darkest of times.

This time of mourning lasted throughout the night until the sun finally rose. Normally, the sun rising would mean new beginnings but for this despairing crew, it meant the beginning of the end.

“Guys?”

The Gem Homeworld. A sprawling utopia that has been the home of Gemkind for thousands of years, Ruled by the Great Diamond Authority, this planet has been at relative peace until they started running low on resources, in which they tried to resolve it by harvesting other planets to create new Gems.

But now, a certain tyrant has invaded with a score to settle with Homeworld’s monarchs and has decided to attract them by shattering every single Gem within his sights. All except one that managed to flee his rampage and make it her mission to warn her Diamond of his arrival.

A lone Citrine raced to a nearby communication port and punched in a special code to contact her Diamond, only to be met with her Pearl. “Welcome to the Diamond Line, what do you want?” Yellow Pearl snarked in a snooty tone of voice. “Listen, you have to connect me to Yellow Diamond! He’s finally come for us!” the Citrine warned much to the Pearl’s shock.

“Pearl, what is this about 'he’ returning?” a deep feminine voice wondered picking up the projector to reveal none other than Yellow Diamond. “My Diamond, I have terrible news! Thanos has returned, and he has all the Infinity Stones! You must contact the others and assemble every Gem you got to stop him! We need-”

Before Citrine could finish, the communicator was totaled by an energy blast from none other than Ebony Maw. “Well well, aren’t we a bit tenacious here?” he chided the soldier backing her into a corner and preparing an energy blast. “Savor your energy Ebony.” Thanos declared gently pushing his minion out of the way and forcing Citrine to the ground, aiming his foot at her hand where her gemstone was placed. “When you perish by my heel, tell your comrades in the next world I said hello.” And with that, he stomped Citrine’s gem, instantly shattering her.

“Thanos has returned?!” Blue Diamond screamed in horror as she and her sister raced to confront Thanos. “Yes, a Citrine soldier of mine warned me he would return someday.” Yellow commented. “Now where is White?!”

“Still can’t find her.” Blue moaned before they finally reached the Mad Titan, having already reduced their united army into five Rubies, an Aquamarine, a pair of Topazes and an Emerald fearing for their lives.

“This is all you have to offer now? I expected better from intergalactic warlords!” Thanos exclaimed crushing an inactive gemstone in his hand. “Thanos! What brings you back here you mongrel?!” Yellow Diamond roared preparing to strike him down. “Don’t do it my Diamond, Thanos is not to be messed with!” one of the Rubies begged her Diamond. “This Ruby is right Yellow, stand down or face my wrath.”

“Maybe we should just listen to his demands and maybe he’ll leave.” Blue Diamond suggested, to which her Pearl readily agreed. “Never! This Titan has disgraced us for far too long, and it’s time I get revenge for Pink!” Yellow screamed preparing to face off against Thanos before he raised the Gauntlet and said a single word. “KNEEL!”

Almost instantaneously, the two monarchs and their Pearls dropped to their knees before the Mad Titan. Just then, Mephisto materialized behind him. “Master, your new planet is almost ready. Your fleets have already prepared several worlds for you to terrorize.” the demon announced bowing.

“Excellent Mephisto.” Thanos thanked his servant before turning back to the Diamonds. “Perhaps if you hadn’t done nothing but sit around and mourn the demise of that brat rather than do as you were meant to do, then maybe things would’ve been different.”

“What is he implying?” Blue Pearl mumbled. “I am trying to say-” Thanos began before he stopped himself. “I shall work out the details later. But right now…” He turned away and stepped forward, gazing upon the sky of Homeworld and thinking about the various planets that he could conquer, all for his beloved. “He’s really going to do it.” Mephisto muttered almost fearfully as the others looked at Thanos gazing at something that clearly isn’t there.

But to Thanos, this was the form of his beloved Lady Death, standing there in front of him, her black robes hiding her wistful, neutral expression. Thanos grinned as he raised his hand skyward. Now that he was a god, what was his first act?

A single fingersnap.

To be continued in Steven Universe: Secret Wars

Part 2: Battleworld

Well that’s it everyone. The day has finally come. Let the universe howl in despair for Thanos has risen. Can the Crystal Gems and the Avengers find a way to stop him? Find out next time, coming soon.