#i am too ashamed of myself to finish this

[eggtargaryenii]

re: jace jerking off to the thought of you in that dress. I must admit I lost control and started writing smut about it in the context of him reminiscing about it several years later after the two of you get hitched . here u go

-

You were so lovely before him in this dress. Beautiful. It made Jacaerys feel terrible of the thoughts he was having of you.

Even when you first wore it to that banquet so many years ago, back when you were both young and green for the Dance of Dragons had not yet happened, Jace had been rendered speechless by the sight of you in it. He did not know where to look, for it bared so much of your arms, your thighs, the swell of your breasts. And gods—even where the dress covered you, it did a poor job of it. The silks were so sheer; whenever the light hit it a particular way, it revealed too much of the soft contours of your body.

It was the silhouette of your thighs that made him feel particularly mad. The silk clung to you so snugly, and he could see the shadow of your thighs, the apex of them—but nothing else. All he could think at that banquet, agonised by how tight his breeches were, was whether or not you were wearing smallclothes. Whether you were laughing and drinking and dancing in that hall, body pressed against his—all while you were bare and exposed beneath that dress.

And Seven Hells, did he hate himself for it—but the thought plagued him the whole time. Plagued him all night once he'd returned to his quarters, plagued him until finally he gave into his base urges and took himself into his hand. His cock throbbed hotly in his grip as he sullied you with his sordid fantasies—as he thought about pressing against you so tightly against himself as he danced until you could not help but feel him against your ass. As he thought about your body’s reactions to his, your silks clinging to your thighs as they grew sticky with your need. As he thought about reaching under the slit travelling up your thigh, your cunt bare and wet and sweet for him as he touched you.

It was—filthy. He was loath to disgrace you with these thoughts. All his life, he'd only ever wanted to treat you honourably, to be a respectful friend and later a proper husband. But Jacaerys had not been able to stop himself from thinking of taking you to his chambers, had not been able to stop himself from imagining himself bending you over and mounting you like some kind of beast. He wanted to press his throbbing cock against that dress, feel the wetness of your core through its silk. He wanted to rut against your cunt through the sheer cloth, and then he wanted to tear it aside so that he could press the head of his cock against your bare cunt. As he spilled himself all over his hand, he wished that he was instead spilling into you, pumping your womb full of his seed.

And now that you were before him in this dress again—his lovely, beautiful wife—it was all Jace could think of once more.

[haemosexuality]

do you want to learn all kinds of things and be a more well educated person? has it been a while since youve thought about killing yourself? school can change one of those things

[qumiiiquinnquin]

ill never be good enough at anything

[mental-skillness]

it would explain so much

[panther-os]

I have hopes and dreams and predictions for the show but if they don't come true, I go "Okay, this is actually really cool in another direction" or "Damn, that was disappointing but I wonder what's gonna happen next" and I enjoy what I got and go write fanfiction about what I didn't.

"Expectations are premeditated disappointments." This doesn't mean don't have expectations, it means be aware your expectations might not be met and that you're going to have an emotional reaction about it.

And while I don't believe there's any such thing as overreacting because you feel what you feel, there is such a thing as reacting appropriately or inappropriately. So when your expectations are let down and you're having an emotional reaction about it, make sure to express that reaction appropriately.

Maybe come up with a plan in advance. "If Cody doesn't show up in the finale, I will choose something else I like about the episodes to focus on instead of obsessing over my disappointment. When I'm done watching, I will be miserable into my pillow for a bit to properly feel the emotion. Afterward, to cheer myself up, I will grab comfort food or take a shower and then make/look for fanworks about what he was doing instead or about him deus ex machina-ing the episode. I will not harass the creative team who did their jobs or my fellow fans who aren't that upset about it."

Please reblog if you're here for the story.

I watch The Bad Batch as an exploration of the beginning of the Empire from the perspective of a group of fugitives trying to get by in a galaxy that doesn't always make sense.

I'm here for their story.

I'm here for WHATEVER the writers, artists, and composers give us in their own good time. I want the plot to be given to me slowly. I want a character's redemption or further fall to have so much meat to it that I sit back and think, "Wow. They went through hell to get here."

I want to find out what makes the characters tick one morsel at a time, and I'm NOT going to complain about where the writers take them if it's not what I envisioned for them because it's the story.

Honestly, I'm finding this fandom to be a tedious place lately. A lot of people only seem to enjoy the show if they are given exactly what they want by the writers and the moment the show deviates from that, they complain.

I'm here for the story. Please reblog this or leave me a comment if you are too because I want to surround myself with other fans who are here for the Batch's story in whatever direction it takes us.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I desperately just want to sleep

[puck-luck]

code-breaker | jack hughes

warnings: pining!, unprotected p in v, lots of miscommunication but it is resolved duh, lmao uhhhhh jack fucking his best friend's sister maybe? kind of a big plot point fasho, a lame excuse for a squirt, cum on da body (chest), eating come, lots of banter, tiny TINY bit of angst and insecurity on fem!reader's part pairing: jack hughes x zegras!reader request: cappy's "sister of the best friend, lake house, etc. sister makes the first move and the guy tries to turn her down out of loyalty to the other boy and she gets a little hurt and insecure thinking he's rejecting her and she's like "am i really that bad?" with her voice craking and he's like fuck then... smut!" wc: 4327

Jack is here. 

Jack, who you’ve been in love with since your twin brother started hanging out with him when they were in NTDP together. Jack, the New Jersey Devils’ prized star, the number one pick. Jack, the most annoying and most attractive brother of the esteemed Hughes family from Michigan. Yes, that Jack is here– ‘here’ being your apartment that you share with your brother in Anaheim now that Jamie has moved out and away.

Jack is here. You are here. Trevor is not.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” you tell him awkwardly, still holding the door open and blocking the doorway. You’re all too aware of your lazy, solo-movie-night outfit as you stand in front of him. You’re clad only in a big shirt, one that normally reaches the middle of your thighs but has ridden up since your hands are raised and resting against the doorframe, and your favorite pair of panties. You did laundry earlier and showered, your big exciting thing of the day being that you could but on your favorite underwear and be lazy as soon as you finished the chore of folding your clothes. “Trevor’s in New York right now.”

“I know,” Jack says, a hand on his suitcase. The other is clenched by his side. “I have a meeting in LA tomorrow so he said I could stay here while he was gone.”

“Oh,” you reply, feeling silly. It would’ve been nice if your brother had told you that Jack was coming and staying here while he was gone, considering you’d made plans to be alone all night tonight. Trevor always does shit like this– he makes plans and then forgets to tell you until someone shows up or he has to leave to meet them. It’s frustrating. “Come on in, then.”

You move to the side, gesturing for Jack to enter the apartment, and he does. His suitcase rolls in behind him, just a little carry on, and he leaves it beside the door where he kicks off his shoes. 

Your hands make their way to the hem of your t-shirt, tugging at it. “I’ll, uh, go change into something more–”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Jack interrupts, waving you off. He clears his throat. “You don’t have to change on my account. I’m interrupting your night of–” 

He looks to the couch and the coffee table, littered with a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of wine that you had been drinking out of, straight from the spout. Your movie is paused on the screen, a silly Disney Channel movie that had come out when you and Trevor were children and still hadn’t lost its touch yet. You’re hoping that Jack doesn’t recognize the screencap, but Mel’s Lemonade machine fills the screen and if he’s seen Lemonade Mouth at all, he’ll know what movie you’re watching.

“Disney Channel and wine,” Jack finishes, pinching his lips to hide the amusement in his voice.

You frown, even though you want to burst into laughter with him. It is silly, what you’re doing, but you were supposed to be alone and who are you to be ashamed of your guilty pleasures?

“Don’t make fun,” you admonish, crossing your arms with a pout. “I thought I had the apartment to myself.”

“I’m not making fun!” Jack denies, holding his hands up in surrender. “I think it’s nice that you’re having a me-party.”

He’s referencing the other time he’s interrupted when you’re having a movie night on your own, when you watched The Muppets (2011) at the lake house because the boys were out on the boat and you had gotten a nasty sunburn the day before, so you’d stayed in. Jack had come back early because he was hungry, making the boys drop him off at the dock before going back out, and caught you red-handed with his favorite kind of pretzels and a half-full bottle of margarita next to the blender. 

You blush, glaring at him slightly. “Shut up, Jack.”

“No, this is perfect,” Jack continues, glowing a little as his shit-eating smile builds. He walks over to the couch and plops down, grabbing the bottle of wine and taking a swig before wiping his mouth. “I’m already dressed for a lazy night in, I shouldn’t waste it.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re such a dick,” you complain. “You know you don’t want to watch this movie with me.”

“Why not?” He challenges, another tilt of the bottle pouring the fruity liquid down his throat. He spreads his legs when he sits as all the boys do, taking up as much space as he can. 

“Because you won’t like it,” you say. “And because I wasn’t planning on having you here.”

“Were you planning on having someone else here?” Jack teases. “Popcorn, red wine, a movie, no pants… I think I see the writing on the wall.”

“No, God, shut up, Jack!” You repeat with a huff, returning to the couch and curling up against the opposite arm, far away from the boy. “Just be quiet while I watch my movie. If you’re good, I’ll let you have some popcorn.”

Jack wiggles his eyebrows at you, sticking out his tongue. You pull at the bottom of your shirt again, making sure that your panties aren’t visible when he looks over. This is already humiliating enough– you don’t need your long-time crush seeing your underwear, too.

You hit play and turn the volume up loud enough to drown out any comments Jack might make. You’re lucky the movie is short, because he’s an antsy boy who loves to talk, just like your brother, and you can tell that he’s anxious to start another conversation.

As the credits roll, you mute the television and turn to him. “What?” You demand, sitting in criss-cross-applesauce and shoving your hands into your lap to stretch your shirt over the space between your legs. 

“You really didn’t have plans tonight?” Jack asks. “It’s a Saturday night and you live in LA. You’re in your twenties. You didn’t want to have anyone over?”

You flush, but it’s less out of embarrassment and more out of anger. “Judgemental much, Hughes? Not all of us have people throwing themselves at our feet any given day of the week.” You grind your teeth, clenching your jaw and taking a deep breath. You stare at him, refusing to break eye contact. Jack shouldn’t be allowed to form opinions on your life. You know exactly what he’s insinuating– why aren’t you out there getting laid, Y/N? and it’s frustrating because it’s the same question you ask yourself whenever your friends text about their recent hookups or whenever Trevor brings a girl back to the apartment. 

More than anything, you don’t want Jack judging you. You know that your Saturday night plans are lame, but that’s why you wanted to be alone. 

Jack falls quieter, your reaction diluting his crooked, toothy smirk that he reserves for the people he knows well. “I’m surprised you don’t have– people. Throwing themselves at you.”

He’s awkward when he says it, too awkward not to make you suspicious.

He’s avoiding eye contact, picking at his nailbeds. 

“Would you?” You ask, directly to the point. You’re making a point, too– you’ve known Jack for years and he has never, not once, implied that he thinks you’re desirable. 

Jack says nothing, running his fingers through his hair and looking down. 

You nod to yourself and stand from the couch, still tugging at your shirt. You’re pulling it even lower now, the neckline dipping and stretching as you cover your legs up as best you can. “That’s what I thought,” you say quietly, a cold feeling washing through your chest and pressing down on the skin that your heart beats beneath. 

“I would,” Jack calls, just as you walk away. You’re positioned right in front of the door that leads to your bedroom when he says it, head hanging towards the ground so that he doesn’t see the frown on your face. 

His silence was a rejection and his afterthought is even worse. Nonetheless, you turn to face him. This time, it’s your silence that rings throughout the space.

“I would,” Jack repeats. “If, y’know. You weren’t–”

“Trevor’s sister,” You say, filling in the blanks and finishing his sentence. You nod, a tight, close-lipped, and pointed smile on your face. “You don’t have to explain, Jack. I realized a long time ago that my world would always revolve around Trevor.” Your hand is on the doorknob now, twisting it and cracking your door open. Your bed is right there and you can collapse into it in mere seconds, able to let your tears leak into your pillow silently as you remind yourself that you’re not as good as your twin brother once again, just as soon as you get these words out. “I know I can’t do or say the things I want to with the people I want to because they’re always thinking about Trevor.”

You could add, And why would you be any different? You know him best. Of course he’s the one you’re loyal to, but you decide against it. It’s too petty. It’s too mean. It’s too– real. 

You look at him one last time to bid him goodnight, already craving the following day when his meeting is over and he heads back to Michigan, far away from you and your un-desirability. The tight smile returns to your face, trying to smooth out your upset yet resigned features. It’s always the same thing. It’s not Jack’s fault, really, it’s not. You’ve imagined this conversation in your head many times and each time you think rationally, you know that this is how it has to be.

He’s Jack Hughes, for God’s sake. You’re just Trevor Zegras’ less successful, lesser known twin sister.

“Trevor would kill me,” Jack says on a whim. “Really. He would. He would stand me up and punch me, right here.”

You’ve got one foot in your bedroom and one foot out. Despite the ice piercing through your chest, you can’t find it in yourself to be rude and close the door on him. You turn to face Jack again.

He’s sitting forward on the couch, hands clasped in front of him like a prayer. He moves them when he talks, lowering them and spreading them and gesturing with them. He’s always done that, ever since you’ve known him– it’s another way that he calls attention to himself and takes up space. It’s part of the reason why he’s so charming– he knows how to use his hands, how to touch someone to politely get them to move or to pull them closer or to playfully shoo them away. 

“If I had a sister, I’d do the same thing to him,” Jack continues. “It’s just– we can’t go for each others’ family. It’s against the code.”

You nod, slowly, exaggeratedly just to show him how nonsensical that sounds. “You realize it’s not up to Trevor to decide who you go out with,” you say. “That’s kind of your choice, Jack.”

“It’s not that simple.”

You shrug, then look away. Outside the living room window is a dark night, leaves blowing with the wind. 

“It could be,” you say after a moment. You’re not surprised to hear how resigned you sound. You learned to live with this a long time ago, so you know that pointing out how easily things could change is futile. You say it anyway. “If you wanted it to be. But, I get it. I’m your best friend’s sister. Maybe if I wasn’t, you’d consider–”

“I have considered,” Jack interrupts. “I’ve– well, you’ve seen it. All the guys have.”

You’re lost. It’s like he’s speaking in code. “I’ve seen what?” You ask, monotonous and silently yearning for your bed. Your patience is growing thin.

“You can’t be serious,” Jack responds with a laugh. He buries his face in his hands, muffling the noise. “Are you?”

“I’ve seen what,” you repeat, straight-faced and not entertaining this sudden bout of humor from the brunet boy.

“How I look at you when you’re in those tiny little swimsuits on the boat, or how I laugh when you make one of your stupid jokes that aren’t funny to anyone but you and Trevor,” Jack says. “You really never noticed?”

Now he’s just dangling your hopeless crush in front of you. You assumed he had noticed sometime over the years, but this is overkill. He’s never felt the same– that much is clear. It’s cruel that he thinks he can lead you to believe otherwise as a means to further tease you for being alone tonight.

You shake your head. “I never noticed because you never did any of those things, Jack. You’re just saying that to say it.”

He’s up in a flash, coming towards you and placing a hand flat on your bedroom door to prevent you from closing it and ending the conversation. “I can’t believe you don’t believe me,” Jack says.

“I don’t think it’s funny that you’re making fun of the little crush I’ve had on you since we were kids. You don’t feel the same way and I’m not an idiot.” You move to close the door again, but Jack pushes it open again. 

“You– I’m not making fun,” Jack stammers out, looking surprised. He leans forward, narrowing his eyes. “You have a crush on me?”

Your jaw drops and your face flames with humiliation. You thought he knew that you liked him and that he was making fun on purpose– and now you’ve accidentally revealed your massive, well-kept secret to his face. This was never supposed to happen. “You didn’t know?” You hiss, covering the lower half of your face with your hands. 

“You have a crush on me,” Jack repeats, a smile spreading across his face. He steps closer, prompting you to back away.

“No. No,” you moan out, feeling positively ashamed and destroyed. Tonight is not turning out as you hoped it would.

Jack’s still smiling, closing your bedroom door softly behind him as he follows you into your room. 

You knock into the edge of your bed and sit, sinking into the mattress. Your hands are still pressed over your mouth as Jack kneels in front of you, prying your hands away from your face and holding them gently. 

“You have a crush on me,” Jack says for a third time, his voice soft and subtly optimistic. The corner of his mouth curves up into the tiniest of smirks and you swear your face couldn’t get any more red.

All you can give him is a frown and a devastated wobble of your bottom lip. 

“Well, this changes everything,” Jack says, regaining his ability to joke, it seems. His next question is rhetorical and makes you swallow hard. “Who gives a fuck about Trevor when you feel the same way I do?” 

“You’re– you’re serious,” you say, still a thread of disbelief sewn into your words. “You weren’t kidding. You actually– thought about it.”

“Thought about it?” Jack asks. “Fuck, Y/N, I almost told you right before you left last summer, but then you said you were talking to that guy.”

You roll your eyes– that guy had only been in your life for about a month and you had only mentioned him because Jack had mentioned a girl he wanted to see. You tell him such– “I only brought him up because everyone was talking about their romantic interests and who they were interested in, I didn’t want to seem like a loser. You had some girl, too, Jack.”

“Some girl– that was you,” Jack reveals incredulously. “I thought I was being so obvious.”

“You weren’t obvious at all!” You deny, mouth open in a scoff. 

“I thought that you mentioning that guy was your way of letting me down easy!”

“Yes, Jack, because I was going to reveal my feelings for you in a room full of both of our brothers. Good idea. You fucking idiot!”

Jack laughs aloud, throwing his head back. His face scrunches up and he smooths his face with his big palm at the end of his amusement. He fixes you with a look of glee and astonishment– something only hindsight can bring to his expression. “We’re so fucking stupid.”

You shake your head, laughing with him for a moment before he swipes a thumb over your cheek, which stills you. 

“Fuck,” he sighs, smile still gracing his face. “I can’t believe–”

“Me neither,” you say.

“Can I–”

“Absolutely.”

Jack’s rising up, kissing you and laying you back on the bed so that he can completely cover your body with his own. One of his hands cups your cheek, while the other grips your hip, atop your underwear but underneath the big t-shirt that is now riding up your body as you move. Your hand is on his bicep and his chest, clutching his sweatshirt. The strings dangle down into your space, brushing against your clothes and tickling you.

His hands memorize you like a topographic map, clutching at your dips and curves and anything else he can get his hands on. 

“Wanna take this off,” You mumble against Jack’s mouth, tugging at the collar of his sweatshirt.

Jack pulls back immediately, reaching behind his neck to grab the collar of his top and bring it above his head. He balls it up and drops it somewhere on the floor. 

“That, too,” you tell him, about his t-shirt, before he can bend back down and kiss you senseless again.

Jack chuckles and pulls it off, too, leaving him half-naked just like you. His chest is tanned and swollen from his recent workouts in Michigan since his shoulder surgery, something that Trevor had told you about but about which you’d never checked in. You’re gentler on that side of his body, especially as he comes back down into your space and you get to touch him. You run your hands over his muscles. You feel out the ridges of his body, trying to match his own confident movements as he feels you up.

One of your hands makes its way to his v-line, something you’d seen over plenty of boat trips. You’d always wanted the opportunity to touch it, to trace it, to watch it bend and flex as he rolled his hips. You’re being afforded that opportunity now and it is sweet.

“I thought you might like that,” Jack murmurs. “Caught you staring once. Was the same day you wore my favorite red swimsuit out.”

“I still have it,” you tell him, gasping a little when his hand slides up to your chest. He tweaks your nipple, then his hand retreats. 

“Mm, a treat for tomorrow,” Jack says. “I’m gonna have you walking around in that thing all day just so I can look at you. For now…”

He trails off, pushing the bottom of your shirt up and leaving your lips to attach his to the freshly revealed skin of your torso. He kisses up your body with each inch he reveals, between your breasts and up your neck. He pulls your shirt off, letting it join his own on the floor, and gets his first proper look at your tits.

“Been waiting to see these,” he continues, eyes fixed on your chest like he’s being hypnotized. He places his hands on you and squeezes, feeling your supple flesh between his fingers. You moan out at the sensation, the noise spurring him on. “Wanna know a secret?”

“Yeah,” you agree, nodding and tugging at his joggers, hoping he’ll get the hint and remove them.

“‘ve wanted to come on these tits since I first saw it in a porno,” Jack reveals, still mesmerized by your chest. “Thought about it a hundred times.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Come on my tits all you want, but you have to fuck me first.”

“Guess your Saturday night wasn’t so boring after all,” Jack says before he stands from the bed and tugs his pants off. He joins you again, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing over your face. He grinds against you, his clothed cock sliding against your damp panties in a way that has you both keening into each others’ mouths. 

“Guess not,” is your reply, cut short by another moan when Jack’s hand claims your chest again.

You move without speaking after that, fueled only by the desire coursing through your veins after years of pining and aching for the other. 

Jack feels you out and eventually discards his own underwear before removing yours, returning to the missionary position that you had assumed as soon as you had first kissed. It’s sweeter this way– and you both need to see the other’s face, to feel their breath mix with your own. Your chests are flush together, your nipples scraping against the defined and broad swoops of his skin. You grind against each other for a few minutes more, his dick sliding between the wet lips of your pussy with nothing blocking it. He groans into your ear as your juices coat his length, eyes closed in a grimace that is completely charged by his pleasure.

“Condom?” is the last thing he asks, with you shaking your head and replying, “Pill.”

He lines himself up, mouth agape with a choked breath as he thrusts into your tight, wet heat. Your head finds the mattress beneath you, your back arching up as he fills you. You can feel his veins sliding against your walls, the blunt and weeping tip of his cock poking at your deepest parts.

He moves like a man possessed and fighting the beast– like he wants to let loose but at the same time, restraining himself. When you tug on his hair, the subtle waves that he’s been growing out over the summer and hiding beneath his hat in every picture you’ve seen, and whine out his name, Jack’s control vanishes.

He starts to piston his hips into your cunt, burying his face into your neck and letting out ecstasy-fueled whimpers each time you clench down. He curses in your ear, voice a little higher than it normally is, and the intimacy and vulnerability of the moment has your heart clenching. 

“J– J–” You chant, mewling as his cockhead drives against the back wall of your pussy in hard thrusts that make your head spin. 

“So good,” he grits out, kissing over your neck and catching your earlobe between his lips for a moment before dropping it. One of his hands is splayed over your hip, the other securely planted next to your head. “So tight.”

“Coming,” you warn, your fingers finding his bicep and clenching, fingernails digging into his skin so much that you won’t be surprised if you break skin. Your voice is high, too, octaves higher because of the pleasure you’re experiencing.

“Fuck, yeah, baby, come on my cock,” Jack pants out, the hand from your hip coming to rub circles over your clit. 

It sends a shock up your spine and has your hips bucking up to meet his, your entire lower half shaking as your climax approaches. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and your vision goes spotty when you do come, just seconds after his groaned encouragement. Your entire body tenses, freezing with Jack still inside of you, making it damn near impossible for him to continue pumping his hips. 

He slides from your opening as you’re coming, bringing some of the slick with him in a feeble excuse for a squirt. His dick bobs, hard and an angry red that might be the most beautiful color you’ve ever seen in your hazy, post-orgasmic state.

Jack comes up to straddle your stomach, stripping his cock quickly with a tight fist, chest heaving. You know he wants to come on your chest, having already given him permission, but your mouth opens and your tongue lolls out in an invitation that Jack can’t deny. He shuffles up further on his knees, his whimper sounding pained as his milky cum spurts from the tip of his cock and lands along the flat of your tongue and your lips.

His spurts grow weaker, although he’s still stroking his dick in a fervorous pace, whining a little more at the oversensitivity. His cum makes his way to your chest, just dripping down the length of his shaft and pooling over your tits. 

You reach up with one hand and trace your fingers through the seed, causing Jack to sway a little on top of you at the sight. His cheeks are flushed and pink, eyes blue and clear like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. Your fingertips brush your nipple, spreading the cum over it before you bring your hand up to your mouth and suck the remaining liquid off of your skin, swallowing it with a hum.

Jack is off of you in a flash, pulling you on top of his lap and joining your lips. The last of his cum, painted across your tongue in a thin layer, mixes with your spit as he kisses you. He’s desperate, filling your mouth with his tongue until you can barely breathe, tasting himself on you until it’s indistinguishable– where you end and he begins.

It takes a long time for Jack to finally pull away, for you both to come down from your highs and take a breath.

In typical Jack fashion, he can’t stop himself from joking around.

“Trevor’s really going to kill me now,” he says. “There’s a chance he’ll never let us be in the same room again.”

You laugh, knowing already that neither of you will be willing to let this– whatever this is– go just because your brother has something to say about it. “In that case, we’ll just have to sneak away.”

notes: I WANTED TO NAME THIS "BFB" AFTER THE VICTORIOUS SONG SOOOOOO BAD!!!!! but alas. it's best friend's sister. maybe some other time. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. well now wait that's a good idea...

[katiascraft]

“am I too much for you? maybe I’m too much for everyone” | CL16

parings: Charles Leclerc x insecure!reader

summary: you feel insecure and you’re struggling but Charles makes sure you know how important you are to the world (specially his world).

now playing: “If I weren’t me” by Katherine Li

warnings: not English native speaker could there be errors. None proofread. Talk about sadness and destructive inner talk. Insecure reader. Readers pov’s.

words: +1,5k words.

a/n: heyyyy I am back!!! I disappeared for a year 💀 consistency it’s not my thing I guess. I’m finally finishing university this year!! So I guess I’ll have more time to write. Hope you like it! First on Charles. New obsession: F1 drivers. Get ready I got plenty more on my plans :p. Remember to like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3

MASTERLIST

The piano tiles made the sound of the soundtrack of my sadness in this moment. My fingers touched them softly like they were fragile - like me.

Today was a nightmare from the start. Since I woke up I had a knot in my stomach that became bigger and bigger as the time passed through my routine. Sometimes itʼs really hard for me to do daily tasks such as cleaning or even eating. And it was harder if I need to go to events or meetings.

I have episodes of deep sadness Iʼve been treating on therapy. Sometimes I just canʼt control it. Today was one of those days where black and grey took over everything I felt and did. One way I found by being suggested by my therapist was writing down every thought of pain to find kind of a relief. Today itʼs really hard. Iʼm struggling really hard.

Iʼve been alone the whole day. Charles had to go to the Ferrari factory and do his driver tasks as usual. When I woke up he was gone. And maybe that contributed even more to my desperate and pathetic situation. Though I shouldnʼt talk about it like that and be more gentle with myself. It always felt to me negativity has always been my best friend and worst enemy at the same time.

Playing piano helped me so much. Write a song about my pain. Try to give a little light to all of this mess I find myself emerged in. Itʼs really hard for me to open up and seek help when I need it. Specially when it comes to Charles. I donʼt wanna be a burden to him. And I donʼt wanna stress him out with all of my dark side. I always try to brush it off when heʼs around. Most times I just pretend Iʼm happy and everything itʼs alright. As if I wasnʼt feeling too much for him. Or too less. Like Iʼm not worth of his love. Of his attention. Of his smiles. Of everything he did for me.

The fact that Charles asked me out had me shocked. Iʼve never felt like I could compete with all the models and influencers and singers and every really beautiful girl in this world. Iʼve never felt beautiful nor attractive. Yes Iʼm pretty good making jokes. And I talk too much. But Iʼve always felt I cringed people out. Dating people wasnʼt a thing I was really good at. Actually I sucked. And I think I still do. Always overthinking and second guessing every move. Every promise. Everything.

Charles was so sweet to me. He said “youʼre beautiful. Iʼm sure people tell you all the time. But you really areˮ. I couldnʼt help but get really nervous and blush. The most beautiful man Iʼve ever seen was talking to me and saying all of that. I blinked a couple of times. My smile huge. I just laughed softly trying to brush it off.

Since then we became a team. Inseparable. Charles became my best friend. My rock. I donʼt know what I ever did to deserve his love. The way he loved me was so gentle. So caring and loving. At first was hard because his love language was physical touch and that was something I wasnʼt used to. But little by little I got used to and felt amazing. Iʼve never felt so comfortable with anyone but him.

I hate my body. I feel ashamed of my personality. Most times I feel so dumb. So stupid.

I didnʼt realized I was already crying when I felt my tears dropping in my hands on the piano. I didnʼt realized I kept playing in auto-mode. When I was conscious again I started crying badly. I started shaking. I felt so bad. So guilty for even feeling this way. I didnʼt realized Charles have arrived home when I felt his deep voice from behind.

“Baby... whatʼs wrong? Youʼve been crying for a whileˮ I heard his voice and that sent shivers down my spine. I try to hold it together because I feel so embarrassed heʼs seeing me like this.

He sat next to me and hugged me. I hid my face on his neck feeling contempt. Thing is I started crying worse. I couldnʼt control it once it took on me.

“Itʼs okay baby. Itʼs okay.ˮ He whispered on my head while he stroke my hair and my arm pulling me closer. I thanked him mentally for this. I never thought I needed it so much.

Took a while until I calmed myself in his body. I part from him slowly and whipped my face with my hands. After I did he did the same. He whipped my tears so gently. He did the same looking me with bright eyes. Worry was all over his face. I licked my lips. “Iʼm sorry.ˮ I said quietly almost a whisper.

He denided with his head taking my head into his hands and stroked it softly.

“donʼt be sorry baby. Iʼm worried. Whatʼs wrong? Iʼm sorry I wasnʼt home to be with you. Why didnʼt you called me?ˮ I could feel the worry in his voice deep and cracking.

“I didnʼt want to bother to be honest. Itʼs one of those days. A really hard dayˮ my tears wanted to go out again but I holded them.

I saw his eyes turned into a sad look. He leaned on me and kissed my cheek to hugged me strongly in his arms afterwards. I buried my head in his shoulder. His smell calmed me down. I holded him pretty close to me. Strongly as him. I didnʼt want to let go.

“do you wanna talk about what you are feeling love?ˮ He whispered softly. I swallowed hard and pulled away from his so I could look into his beautiful eyes. I loved his eyes. So bright so blue sometimes. To me they felt like staring at the ocean. I stroked his face gently. He grabbed my legs on the little couch in front of the piano it our living room.

“This is one of those days where I donʼt feel enough or maybe too much to handle... all of this darkness in me that sometimes I just canʼt control it. You deserve someone confident and happy just like youˮ I told him softly and honestly. And it felt good to take it out of me for finally. I wanted to cry again but I was making my best efforts to keep it together.

“Cher... you are more than enough for me. You are the most beautiful soul Iʼve ever met. The most beautiful woman Iʼve ever seen. You are the sweetest most caring and fun person. Always there for people. You have the brightest personality. Every time you enter a room you shine. Everyone smiles. To me youʼre happiness though I know that isnʼt the whole you. Youʼre human baby. You are allowed to feel. And to not be okay. And to be okay too. You are not a burden for me. Youʼre my best friend. Mon amour. My future wife. The one whoʼs always there for me. My shoulder to cry on. The one with the greatest jokes. The life of every party I assist. You give a meaning to my life. A reason to live. You are a great daughter. The best friend someone could ask for. The greatest sister. You are a light for every single person that knows you y/n. Donʼt ever feel that you are too much to handle. And I really wanna go and kill the people who made you ever feel you were, I sware. You are amazing baby.ˮ While he was talking you couldnʼt hold it together. You just started crying. He let you do it while he whipped your tears lovingly. He seeing you like this broke his heart. You didnʼt deserve to feel like this. And he wished he could take away all of your pain. That you could see yourself the way he sees you. And feel how happy and enamoured you made him feel. “You can talk to me every time you need itˮ he continued. “you can trust me and we can figure it out together. You donʼt have to go through it alone. Okay? I love you with everything I am y/n. If I could I would take all of this pain away and just make you feel how I feel about you. I promise to me youʼre even better than Carlosˮ he said lastly jokingly making me laugh through my crying.

Now he had a huge smile on his face knowing he could make you feel better. I gave him a peck on his lips as a thank you and as an I love you.

“I donʼt know what I would do without you Charles...ˮ I said sincerely and full of love in between the lines. He gave another kiss back but now it was deeper in feelings. We kissed for a while and it felt that as the kiss continued my pain was going away feeling better every second. After the kissed I hugged him tightly. He gave kisses to my neck making me giggle a little. “I love you Charlie. Youʼre my angelˮ I whispered on his shoulder and he tightened the hug in response.

“And you are mine chérie“ he said burying his face on my shoulder.

——————————————————————————————

Charlie won COTA 🥹.

Hope you liked it 💌 if you have ideas my inbox is open for requests!

[webslingingslasher]

I know we’re all obsessed with frat!peter, but are there any instances where nerdy!peter gets a lil mean too?

for the first time ever, peter is ignoring your call. there are times he's unable to answer, but you know he's purposely watching his phone ring before he silences it.

he's actively ignoring you and you want to scream.

peter doesn't get mad at you. but he is. and it's making everything worse. you can't apologize if he won't talk to you.

it's been two days.

'if you don't call me back in an hour i'm coming over.'

'and yes, that's a threat.'

peter must be really mad. because he didn't answer.

'hi, is peter around?' you can tell may wants to shout the truth, instead she shows solidarity to her nephew. 'sorry, honey. he's out right now.'

you challenge her, 'can i wait for him?' may isn't playing your games, 'he didn't say when he'd be back.'

it's not may's fault, but you still huff at her. 'he has to talk to me at some point.' you see a flush of parent coat over her features.

'sometimes when someone is hurt, they need to think about how to react to it before it gets worse.'

you feel like crying, 'is he really that mad at me?' may slowly closes the door, 'i'm sorry, but peter isn't home.' you want to catch the door and bark out to peter, who you know is holed up in his room, but you respect his space and leave.

it was all your fault. you pushed his harshest barrier and you swear you didn't mean to, it was just the most hurtful thing you could spit out in a moment of fury.

instant regret. you swore you heard peter's heart break the second you finished. his crushing silence hurt more than an equal blow. he just calmly grabbed his backpack and left. and you let him, you were speechless, you couldn't believe the things that came out of your mouth.

you retreat with a few texts.

'i'm sorry, peter. i really, really am.'

'i won't keep bothering you, just talk to me when you're ready.'

'i love you. and i know you love me too, so you don't have to say it back tonight.'

and he doesn't. not when you check before bed and not when you wake the next morning. you've never felt peter's cold shoulder before, but it's icy and stings.

you'd see him on campus and he couldn't ignore you in person, right?

there was only one way to tell, and it was when you saw him sitting at an outside table. scribbling in a notebook while he looked over a textbook and some sheets, he never looked so pretty.

it's selfish, but you want nothing more than to kiss him.

'hi.' sitting backwards, your back hit the edge of the table. if he tells you to fuck off you'll make a quick escape. looking at his side profile he shows no reaction, he was expecting you to join him.

'hi.' peter doesn't share the interest to look at you.

'wanna talk?' you hold your breath, hopeful he'd say yes and you could do your best attempt at damage control.

'not really,' his calm nature unsettles you. you'd rather he spit in your face.

'can i talk?' peter didn't want to talk, but he might listen. you just wanted to make it okay, or try.

you think he agrees just to get you to leave quicker. 'sure.'

anxiety scratches your insides, you've never been so ashamed in your life. it was an odd feeling wanting to do nothing but hold peter close to you while you apologize, while also knowing he wanted nothing to do with your touch.

'i'm sorry. i've never been more sorry for anything in my entire life and i don't know how to make it right. i would do anything to take it back, if i could go back in time to stop myself i would.'

it's unfair, but the reality of the situation hits. tears prickle at your eyes. you just feel so bad.

'i don't know why i said that, and i regretted it the second it left my mouth. i could try to come up with a million excuses, but i said it and i'm taking accountability. i know it doesn't help, but, like...'

you close your eyes, when you open them a tear races down your cheek. you're quick to wipe it. it's not about you.

'i am really fucking disgusted in myself. i'm ashamed and embarrassed and i know i broke your heart. peter, i... i took the darkest part of you and weaponized it. i broke your trust and i am a really, really, really bad girlfriend.'

you deserved the silence. 'you're mad at me and that's fair. i can't say it enough, but i want you to know i'm sorry.'

the last sentence caught his attention, peter shakes his head and laughs under his breath.

'you see, the thing is, i don't think i'm mad. i'm just really fucking hurt. you told me ben was just waiting on someone to put him out of his misery.'

you wince. it sounded so much worse coming from his mouth, it was like the words burnt him and left a bad taste behind. they were seared into his brain. there was nothing in the world to justify what you did.

'you were right. you broke my heart and trust in one go. how do you fix it? i don't know, but i can't even look at you right now. talking to you feels like i'm pulling glass out of my skin.'

'i'm glad you're disgusted with yourself, because i am too.'

there was the blow. it wasn't half as harsh as yours, but it dug deep. you couldn't blame him either. it's entirely too selfish, but you need to know if there's something to work for.

'are you going to break up with me?' you sound sad but you wouldn't blame him if he said yes, you would only blame yourself forever. you don't like how long the silence was, it felt like he was actually thinking about it.

'i don't know.'

three words made you feel empty. the future of your relationship and happiness was a gamble all because you couldn't shut your mouth.

'okay.' it wasn't. 'i know it seems pointless now, because i already failed at it, but i'll never say anything like that ever again. i never, ever wanted to hurt you like this.'

for the first time in three days, peter looks at you. he looks tired.

'you did. that's why you said it. you were mad and i wasn't feeding into it, you got even more upset and said the most hurtful thing you could've to me.'

you're desperate, 'i know! but i swear it wasn't on purpose! i didn't know what i was saying until i said it, and i mean, c'mon peter, you know me. i've never said anything like that before, and i won't ever again.'

peter throws you a bone, maybe he really heard the desperation in your voice. 'i know you're sorry, i know you feel terrible and you wish you could take it back. but that doesn't make it okay. and i need you to understand that.'

you nod quick, 'i do! i understand, i promise.'

peter sees it differently. 'i don't think you do. if you did, you wouldn't be here begging for me to say everything's okay.'

his words make you pause, you see his stance in a different light. your apologies have done nothing but make peter feel like he has to accept them. may said he needed space and you haven't given him any, instead hounding him with texts or forcing him to listen to the same string of sorry's.

you stand, it's very clear to you what needs to happen. if you have any chance of reconciliation. you need to cut contact.

'you're right. i didn't see it like that, but you're right. the second i walk away, i promise i'm done. no more texts, no more surprise visits, no more bothering you on campus. nothing. you come to me when you're ready. no matter the conversation.'

you follow your word and do just that while trying to ignore the worst form of anxiety that crosses over your chest. walking away, unsure if your boyfriend still loved you, was a feeling you wouldn't wish on anyone.

it spreads the longer you hear nothing from peter. was he adjusting to life outside you? should you be doing the same? you didn't realize how much you wrapped peter into your life until he wasn't around.

you had to find a classmate to do revisions with. you had to plan lunch with friends instead of peter. you had to scroll past articles and memes he'd enjoy. you had to stop yourself from texting him a hundred times a day.

the closest you got was a glimpse at his face when he was talking to a friend across campus, he was laughing. you felt relieved knowing he was happy, until you noticed it didn't seem like he missed you all that much.

after four days and all hope lost, you decided it was time to wave the white flag. it was over, if you grieve the relationship now it won't be so bad when he tells you officially. you'd be able to walk away without a panic attack.

while wallowing to yourself in your room, you berate yourself internally for ruining the one true good thing you had. spider-man was entirely too calm when he entered your room right as you felt a tear race down your cheek.

'why are we crying?'

you sit up, you've never been so happy to see the masked hero. until you piece together why he's there, you weren't pre-maturely crying after all.

sniffles around your words, 'cause we broke up.'

the mask is off in a second, 'who said that?' you shrug, the answer is in front of your face. 'isn't it obvious?' peter sits next to you, 'we're not broken up.'

you still don't feel comfortable, 'are we going to be?' peter rewords himself, 'i'm not here to break up with you, no.' 

‘then why are you here?’

peter exhales deeply, a tired excuse of a laugh. ‘i can be upset with my girlfriend and miss her at the same time.’ for just a second, you brighten. ‘you miss me?’

‘yeah. of course i do.’ you almost explode when peter pats your knee, ‘you’re my best friend.’ it’s enough to make you want to cry. you fall into him, an awkward hug, he doesn’t say anything.

‘you’re my best friend too. i missed you so much, i’m so, so, so sorry, peter.’ you melt when a gloved hand rubs your back, it’s not even his skin but you’ve missed his touch so much it’s enough to settle you.

‘it’s okay.’

the words you’ve been looking for, your heart soars. digging your fingertips into his shoulder blades, you hold him tight. ‘is it?’ you don’t want to force him into it.

‘it is.’

except when you remember your words it still doesn’t feel okay. you’re not sure if it ever will. you wonder if that’s what peter was waiting on. 'i don't know, peter. i don't want you to resent me.'

'hey,' you're held at arm's length, peter wants to make sure you're looking at him. 'i took time away so i wouldn't resent you. you really, really hurt my feelings, staying away helped me protect yours.'

you can't imagine the strife you placed on peter, you know actions speak louder than words, but it's a promise to yourself that you will never do anything like it again.

'i'm so sorry, peter. i feel terrible.'

a hint of a smile, 'i know you do. watching you squirm has been a little fun.' you drop your jaw, the nerve. 'oh, you're so mean for that!'

peter cleared his throat, you weren't out of the fog yet.

'but, seriously. that fucking killed me, i mean, i really thought i couldn't breathe. i was just... shocked. shocked more than mad or sad or... i'm not sure.'

you open your mouth, peter stops you, he knows what you're about to say. 'and i don't want you to keep apologizing. it happened, we worked through it, and it doesn't need to keep being mentioned.'

'okay.' it's quiet, you understand what he means, but you feel like you can't explain your sympathy enough.

'ben was one of the most important people in my life and i opened up to you about it. i know it was in the heat of the moment, but you can't use those things against me. it will make me feel like i can't share anything with you.'

'i'm-' peter cut you off with your name, you held your lips closed.

'you're not a bad girlfriend either. you tried. you reached out, you stopped by, you apologized, you stayed away. you did everything you could do to prove how sorry you felt. even if i ignored you, that didn't go unrecognized.'

peter takes a deep breath, 'so,' his hands cup your face, thumbs brush your cheek bones softly. 'i love you, i'm not breaking up with you and it's okay.' peter rubs his nose against yours, 'okay?'

peter isn't saying it's okay because it's fine you talked to him like that. peter's saying it's okay because he sees your imperfections and loves them. peter's saying it's okay because he's said some things he doesn't believe either.

peter's saying it's okay because we're all allowed to fall from grace from time to time.

you want to say sorry, instead you smile and push against his face with your own.

'okay.' 

'good. now give me a kiss, i've been dying for one.'

[floatyflowers]

Dark! Percy Jackson Reverse Harem x Reader|| Chapter Four

<<< Chapter Three

You tried to fight them with your hardest, but you barely land hits on any of them.

But the sword is hard for you to handle and your hits are sloppy.

In the end, you got injured.

No, Ares's children didn't harm you, you cut yourself up with the sword by accident.

However, Percy fought them all off and your team won capture the flag.

Annabeth shoved Percy in the water where your doubts were confirmed as Poseidon claimed him as his son.

After the game, Chiron called you over to give you a letter from your mother.

For some reason you were so scared to open it, feeling like your mother was declaring in the letter that she disowns you and doesn't want to see you ever again.

But, it is the opposite of that.

My Sweet Angel,

I apologize for appearing like a coward, but I needed to get you to the camp.

However...I couldn't bring myself to enter the place because it brought bad memories for me.

I hate it, but I know it's necessary for your safety.

And you must understand that I would never be ashamed of you, I'm quiet proud of you.

After all, I was in your position when I was young.

PS. Your stepfather sends you his love and will prepare you all of your favorite food when you return home.

From your beloved mother,

Calista

You let out a happy laugh, finally feeling at ease that you misunderstood the whole situation.

Your mother loves you, but wait...

...She is a demigod.

But what do that make you?

Also who is her godly parent.

You will ask Chiron about it later, he must know who he is.

Suddenly you hear knocking on the front of your cabin door, you go to open it only to see Annabeth.

You smile at her cheerful and shyly but invite her inside.

Once she is inside, you begin apologizing.

"I'm sorry about my performance, I swear I tried my best but-"

She cuts you off.

"No need to worry, you did amazing on your first try"

Your expression brightens up.

"Thank you"

"No problem, girls stick together, am I right?" Annabeth says with a smile.

"Yes...would you like to stay over and chit chat for a bit?"

"Sure!"

And that's how you made a first female best friend in camp.

°°°

"I chose you for the quest, you cannot say no to it"

"Well, the quest is going to fail, did you not see my fighting skill? It's horrible!"

Percy as usual barged into your cabin to inform you of the quest.

"Come on, Grover and Annabeth will be there too, there is nothing to fear"

Your eyes grow big upon hearing the name 'Grover'  as a smile appears on your face.

"Grover is here? Is he also a demigod?"

°°°

"You are a Satyr?"

You tilt your head, looking down at the tan skinned boy's legs.

"Yes...weird, I know"

"No, it's not weird at all, actually it is kind of cute" you say.

Grover smiles and blushes but Percy walks between you both, to break the nearness.

"We need to focus on the quest" Percy asserts with jealousy.

"Is that Thalia?" you ask Annabeth as she says goodbye to the tree.

"Yes"

"She’s really gonna miss that tree, huh?"

Percy says sarcastically, looking with envy as you interact with Annabeth, also patting the tree gently, saying something he can't hear.

He doesn't want you to interact with anyone.

If he can lock you up, he will do it.

"When Annabeth first arrived here with Thalia and Luke, they were being chased by monsters. Agents of Hades. Sisters. Furies."

"Mrs. Dodds?" Percy points out.

"Yes! One was our algebra teacher. Alecto. Thalia turned back to fight to buy her friends some time. Her satyr protector tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen. So, at the last moment... Zeus intervened to save her life and... changed her form."

"The most powerful being in the universe’s best idea to save his daughter’s life... was to turn her into a tree?"

Percy mocks after his friend finishes explaining as you and Annabeth walk back to them.

"She was the bravest demigod I ever knew. She fought valiantly, and she met a hero’s fate." Annabeth defends.

"She met a pinecone’s fate."

"Percy" you exclaim, piniching his arm.

"What? I'm telling the truth"

You sigh in anger, before turning to Annabeth with a gentle expression and say.

"If I ever meet Zeus, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind"

Grover nods his head slowly at you.

"Yeah, so he can strike you down with lighting bolt"

"Can't strike me down with something he lost"

You say playfully walking ahead of them.

"She is going to get us killed" Annabeth mutter

"And I don't mind dying for her" Percy respond firmly, following after you like a lovesick puppy.

°°°

Calista walks around the house, cleaning every corner and making sure everything is in order.

She developed an OCD, ever since she became pregnant with her only daughter, you.

The demigod woman feared that all her past relationships with the gods might come back and slap her in the face through you.

She would die if something happened to you, that's why she thought it was the best decision to send you to Camp Half-Blood.

While doing house work, the doorbell rings, she walk over to the front door and opens it.

But once she sees who is on the other side, she tries to close it, but the person stops her and shoves his way in.

"This is no good way to greet me, young lady"

"What are you doing here?" Calista demands in fear.

"Well, I came to take you back to the underworld"

Hades answers back with a smirk.

"I'm not going anywhere, my daughter-"

"Don't worry, I sent someone to get her, so we can all become a big happy family"

Chapter Five>>>

[kentosbabes]

Forgive me Father Nanami for I have sinned.

Cw: sacrilege, priest, corruption, oral and explicit sexual content

You sit down in front of him, the confessional booth feeling tight and humid due to the heat of the summer. “Go on.” His smooth voice drawls. You look down, ashamed- your voice quiet. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I was at a sleepover with some girl friends and the topic of porn came up.” You paused to better figure out how to finish your confession without Father Nanami believing you engage in sinful behaviour regularly.

Nanami was glad you couldn’t see him, adjusting himself. He could see you biting your plush lip, deep in thought through the crisscross pattern of the screen. “Do not fear, God will forgive if you repent, so do not leave anything out.”

You nodded to yourself, “I admitted to my friends that I haven’t watched it before and they decided to watch it on my TV screen. I’m not sure what overcame me but a heat started to grow down there. We watched it for a while and I started to rub myself with a pillow that was nearby because it was too overwhelming and painful to just sit there. I don’t know what happened Father Nanami. It felt so good. I excused myself after they turned it off to go to the bathroom but when I went in I saw my panties were all wet.”

You paused again, tears welling up this time, “I don’t want to go to hell Father, this is the first time I’ve ever seen that before.” The corner of Nanami’s mouth lifted into a smirk. He quickly schooled his face, “please, kneel and repent with me. Can I ask what about it made you feel so good?” All he could think was how pretty of a picture you look, looking up at him on your knees.

You thought about it, “The man started kissing the woman, down there… He started to tell her things. Dirty things, while he was doing it. Then he pushed his penis in her, she looked and sounded like she was enjoying it.”

“What kind of dirty things did he say to her, don’t worry sweetheart this is only between me n’ you.” Nanami was palming himself over his clothes while asking, trying to even his breath to sound normal.

“Ok… he started off by saying that he was rewarding her for being such a good girl then how good she was taking him, he would call her ‘his pretty little whore’ and other pet names like ‘beautiful slut’.” Nanami didn’t know he could get harder but hearing words like slut and whore from a girl who doesn’t even know what they mean is really jarring.

He just wanted to corrupt you. “Close your eyes and pray after me,” your knees hurting slightly from the cool tile flooring you have been kneeling on. The words of prayer and repentance come easily to you. So easy in fact you couldn’t hear the door opening and closing. You felt two hands start to massage your breasts and hot breath behind your neck. You reasoned that he must have a reason for this, and if Father forgives you then god is surely going to forgive you as well.

“I’m just massaging you to get rid of the devilish thoughts that have taken hold of you.” He whispered, it felt wrong but right. He could feel your heartbeat rise. His touches being more rough, circular motions making you arch your back. Swallowing a moan. Nanami notices this, “let me hear you, unless you aren’t repenting your actions?” He asks with a raised brow.

“Ah, forgive me, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee,” you started to whine, a mantra of apologies and moans of “Father Nanami” falling from your lips.

“You don’t seem to be repenting properly, perhaps I should help you.” He unzipped his suit trousers and hooked his finger around his boxers, painfully hard cock finally free. Nanami tugged on it, gracing the tip of his cock over your moving lips. “Did I tell you to stop?” Allowing those reverent words spill over his throbbing dick.

“I d-detest all my sins,” Nanami grabs your face with his index finger and thumb, opening up your jaw. He helped himself into your warm mouth. Giving a low, appreciative noise around him, it send vibrations of pleasure down his spine, your fingers wrapped around the base of his cock as if you were worshiping him, as if you were seeking repentance from him.

Groaning, blonde stands of hair fall into his eyes. Tucking them behind his ears and rolling his eyes, lolling his head back- only to see religious stained windows. Nanami bucked his hips further down your throat, unable to stop himself with how good you felt with your mouth wrapped around him.

Tears were cascading down your face, you could feel spit flooding your mouth, and still he held you down. A lewd popping sound echos the booth as he takes out his cock.

“Please,” you whisper brokenly because you just need it so bad, need something.

“Repeat after me, I detest all my sins because of thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee” Nanami started to pull your skirt down along with your white lacy underwear. He laid you down flat from your kneeling position.

His tongue laps all your fluids dry, his insatiable thirst no longer concealed. He doesn’t care anymore, you are the last person in the church due to the late hours and the booth is soundproof. Hearing you whines and moans made him even harder.

Nanami whispered out, “my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love.” You repeated after him, stuttering and stumbling through the words. The words hot on your pussy. You could feel him smile on it, his nose nuzzling your clit.

He gritted out, “God.” Your tainted body needing to be soothed and caressed by his pure and holy mouth.

“God,” you croak out slowly. “Oh fuck. Okay. Fuck.”

He pried open your legs wider, pausing. “Language or I’ll punish you in the name of his Holy Spirit.” You nodded and incoherently started to babble your apologies. You could feel a knot tying up in you, this is a first for you. It feels so good but the pressure is getting too much. You tangled your hands in his blonde locks, pulling him closer to you. He put in two fingers, you started to rock back and forth in a pattern with him.

Your nipples strained against the thin material of your top as he hummed against your clit, lapping it up and suckling it as though he was a man, starved. You shuddered, “I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to sin no more.” But sinning has never felt and tasted so sweet. You came on his face but what surprised you was him licking you to clean you up, not sparing a single drop. Then licking his fingers dry, all with a dark look on his face and in his eyes.

“I still feel like you have sin in you, to remove this I must go deeper. To protect the safety of your soul.” He monologued into your ear, you were scared but curious to what he meant by going deeper. Did he mean he would do like the man in the video and fuck you? You didn’t know if it was bad to crave a man so much you would risk going to eternal damnation but if that was the cost maybe you wanted to pay it.

You nodded, “I want you to use your words sweetheart,” he replied.

“Please, Father for I have sinned, please save my soul from damnation by going deeper in me.” You said with tears welled up in your eyes. His cock twitched at your language, “I am only doing my duties.” But my God what duties they are.

Nanami placed his tip at the entrance of your pussy, rubbing you. “Please, ah,” you bite your lip, “no more teasing I can’t take it.”

He nodded solemnly, pushing himself into you, “You’re so tight, fuck.” Your body began moving in tandem with his, he slammed into you from behind, grabbing and pawing at your hips hard enough to promise tiny bruises the following morning.

“Oh my god, you're such a good little fuck, shit.” You whimper quietly, shaking so hard now, and you nod. You’re a good little fuck, only for him.

Nanami thrusted up harder, the bulge in your stomach prominent. He leaned down, pressing wet, open mouthed kisses all over it. “Fuck, you’re so perfect, such a perfect little slut, it’s like God put you down here just for me.” You could hear the echos of Father Nanami’s grunts, his voice matching yours in breath in the booth.

His cross necklace dangling over you, the cool metal touching your breasts. Pebbling your nipples. His fingers slipping out of you and into your mouth, stuffing them full.

He brought his lips to your neck and started to kiss you, causing you to clench down and convulse on top of him. “Repent daughter of the church,” he gritted out. Your moans and whines turning him on, the idea that he, a symbol of good and purity, is corrupting you makes him closer.

“M’ cumming, I’m going to cum in you, May God free you from your sin.” He groaned, his head falling back giving you a view of his prominent Adam’s apple. He bit into your shoulder as he came inside of you, drawing just enough blood to make him moan into your back as his hands swept up your stomach towards your tits. You came with him, moaning pleads to Father Nanami and God.

Your breathing matching in synchronicity, “You will be back on Sunday to continue your repentance, you don’t want to go to hell do you?”

“No Father, thank you for everything. I’ll be back on Sunday.”

[sugawhaaa]

MINGI X READER 🏁

💧going fast isn't always physical💧

{{Chapter 2/3}}

Warnings::SMUT/ smut ns/fw scenes are marked by a dotted red line (like always)

Pairing:: racer!dom!Mingi x referee!fem!sub!reader

Genre:: Racer AU, car sex, oral [f/m rec] praise, teasing, gagging, hair pulling

Word count::4, 095

A/N:: omfg Tumblr uploaded this AGAIN without me telling it to. Just boom its here now and I am so so so so so so sorry that this will now be three parts. Again I am so so so so sorry all my fanfics are becoming multiple parts bc of this stupid Tumblr glitch and I am going to try and stop this from happening again in the future 🙏 I hope you understand

Part 1:: here

🎧::

"So why did you bring me out here?” You ask softly and he looks down, feeling almost ashamed.

“I just…” he bites his lip. “I wanted to get to know you. Just hang out a bit, until you finish your ice cream then I promise I'll bring you home,” he looks at you with guilty eyes. You knew why he was doing this now, he needed you but couldn't say it.

“That's fine,” you shrug and eat your treat, looking off into the distance at the moon. “You should give me your number,” you say as you pull your phone out of your purse.

“Sure, let me punch it in,” he smiles as he takes your phone. He types in a few numbers, pauses, and continues.

“Did you forget your number?” You chuckle and he laughs.

“Yes, it's been a while and I'm flustered,” he laughed as he sent himself a message through your phone, making sure it worked. There was a ding from his phone and he picked it up, seeing the message went through.

“We should take a selfie to put as your profile pic on my contacts,” you smile and he nods. You hold up your camera and he leans in. The two of you hold up your ice cream. The lighting is pretty bad. Mingis fancy car lights made it a bit better but it was still bad. You took the photo and instantly went to look at it. Mingi leaned in over your shoulder to see the photo.

“Ah, you look so cute,” he squeezes your shoulder and you laugh with pink cheeks. He watches as you put it as his profile pic before asking you to send it to him. He uses the photo as your contact profile picture, cropping himself out of it slightly. He types in your name, putting a heart emoji by it.

-Y/N 💕

He smiles and you peer over his shoulder. He blushes and pulls his phone away. Not a word to be spoken due to his pure embarrassment. You look down at your phone and type in his name.

-Mingi 💕

You smile at him and his heart skips about a thousand beats.

“Now we match,” you chuckle but Mingi is still left in a daze, entranced by your beauty while you look down at your phone. He doesn't speak or take his eyes off you. He extends his hand out to you aimlessly. He doesn't know where he's reaching, he just wants to feel you. He brushes back your hair to see your face and you look up at him. Your remaining hair framing your face. You look him up and down, searching for his intent. He swallows his last bit of ice cream as he stares into your eyes. “Mingi?” You call out his name hoping he'd explain himself.

“I'm sorry,” he apologizes but he doesn't take his hands off of you. His fingers trail down the side of your face, resting at your chin.

“For what?” You ask softly and Mingi sighs.

“I'm pushing you, too fast,” he explains and you look confused. “You only met me today,” his eyes softened, despair filling them. “I've loved you for so long, admiring you from afar,” he sighs and retreats his hand from your face.

“What?” You look at him surprised. He looked down at the wheel of his car with an expression that couldn't be described with descriptive words. It was sorrow, it was anger, it was disappointment, and surely none of which were targeted at you. His expression could only be described as “I'm so ashamed of myself,”. He didn't have to say it, you could hear it through his eyes. “Hey, hey, listen,” you put your hand on his shoulder comfortingly and he turned to you again. “If there's something you want to talk about or say just say it,” you rub his shoulder softly, moving more towards his back. Mingi groans as he tries to get his thoughts collected and turn them into words.

“At the library, I've seen you working there a few times and I could never take my eyes off of you,” Mingi bites on the inner side of his lip as he stares down at the wheel. “I wanted to talk to you, ask you out, tell you how beautiful you were but I could never bring myself to even make eye contact with you,” he explains and you nod softly.

“I understand Mingi,” you rub his back again before bringing your hand up, tucking stray hairs behind his ear. “To be honest, when I first had to wake you at the library I thought you were so…everything,” you laugh and he looks up at you, hoping to catch a glimpse of your pure smile. “I thought you were cute, hot, handsome, attractive, all at the same time. I was confused because I hadn't even learned your name yet, somehow, I felt head over heels,” you finish your explanation and Mingi turns to you, surprised by the use of the expression “head over heels,”

“You think I'm…attractive?” He blushes, unable to hide the fact he's all giddy inside. You nod and he's at a loss for words. He bites his lip softly before leaning back in his seat, letting out a groan. “Fuck, you do things to me Y/N,” he chuckles with little grin that was nearing a smirk.

“I'd love to do more to you,” you lean closer to him and he turns his head slightly, raising a brow. You extend your hand out to hold his hand that's resting on his thigh but you hesitate.

“Care to elaborate on that princess?” He smirks as he looks back at you. You blush seeing the state he's in. His eyes are tired but full of lustful energy, his hair messily falling forward, his body relaxed against the back of his seat.

“No,” you look away from him again and he laughs. Now he leans towards you, his hand on the edge of the bottom of your seat, his fingertips inches from your thigh.

“People don't like being called out when they start acting reckless hm?” He says in a low seductive voice that has your skin crawling. You snap your head back to look at him, surprised by the way he effortlessly read you like a book. “Cat got your tongue? Usually you're one to snap back at people, at least from what I've seen,” he smirks as his voice lingers with lustful intent.

“I don't know how you want me to reply to that statement,” you cross your arms and he gets a kick out of your reaction. He laughs to himself, moving his hand back.

“Tell me, what more do you want to do to me?” He repeats and you blush, feeling trapped in his little scheme. In all honesty you wanted to pin him down to his seat and give him the most head spinning oral he's ever received but you wouldn't dare say it. Especially not when he's got you drawn into a corner like this. “If you tell me, who says your dreams won't come true,” he leans in closer, his words dropping to whispers as he closes in on your ear. “Or should I say, your fantasies?”

You bite your lip as his breath inches down your neck, lighting your skin aflame. The heat seems to instantly travel between your thighs. You let out a huff and straighten your posture.

“Well what I was really thinking was, earlier when you were showing me the features of your car you showed me the lights that change color in the back,” you explain and he raises a brow, intrigued by where your words are headed. “And I couldn't help but notice…” you look at the buttons on the car. You turn the back lights on and rotate a small notch, the lights changing color as you move it. You land upon the red, the red hue lighting up the back of the car and give him a knowing look. Mingi looks surprised before smirking.

“You're dirty,” he chuckled. “So that's what you're really thinking?” He tilts his head and you lean closer to him, your lips just centimeters apart.

“Yes,” you look up at him desperately and he runs a hand through your hair. You then seal the distance between your lips. His lips were much softer than you anticipated. They were tender and plush, but his skills were none of the sort. His hand gently held the side of your face as his tongue crept between your lips, rolling over your tongue. He definitely wasn't afraid to show you who had charge in the situation. His other hand slid down to your waist, caressing the dip in your body. You felt completely held under his will, but you were here for it. He pulled back from your lips looking down at you, your lipstick smeared.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Get in the back,” he smirked and gave your hips a little lift, encouraging you forward. You crawled into the back of his car where the dim red lights illuminated. You sat against the back seat as Mingi crawled back with you. He gently pushed you back against the seat as his lips pieced to yours. You brought your hands up to his fiery hair, twirling strands around your fingers or gripping it in a fist as his tongue explored your mouth. His hands mainly rested on your hips or waist but as the kiss started escalating his hands crawled up your body.

Your leather jacket fell off your shoulder as you shifted beneath him, your upper back now pressed beneath the window. Mingi dipped his head down to your neck, leaving little marks along your skin while his right hand crept up to your breast. He cupped it softly before rubbing his thumb along the surface of it, searching for the bud. You jumped slightly as his thumb hit your hardened bud. He smirked and let the skin from between his teeth out. He slowly pulled the jacket off your body, letting it fall to the floor of his car.

Things were moving so fast between the two of you. Only just a few hours ago you were waking up this stranger at the library and now you were making out in the back of his car. You knew this was reckless, falling for a man you just met but you couldn't resist him. He was gentle, kind, and sweet but he was also protective and wasn't afraid to say what's on his mind. Not to mention he was absolutely beautiful. His hair was dense and beautifully textured, the bright colors drew you in like a moth to light. His eyes were always pure and full of life, his skin always soft and smooth. His skin felt like silk to the touch and his hands were heavy, holding a bit more roughness than the rest of his body. His hands still held cautious and gentleness. His smile was bright enough to light up your life. He may be a racer and he may be doing illegal things every other night but he had a pure heart.

Mingi's hand trailed up your arm, feeling the newly exposed skin. You put your hands up to his chest and he freezes his actions. “Do you want me to stop?” He asked with a sympathetic gaze. You chuckle as you shake your head.

“No, I just wanted to feel your body,” you admit with a little hint of embarrassment. Mingi's face flushes and he swallows hard.

“Oh sorry, sure go ahead,” he smiles with a nod and he resumes stroking your body. His thumb rubbing on your erect nipple through your top as you trail your hands down his chest. Truth be told, he had a very delectable body. He was muscular, his pecs standing out in his tight fitted shirt but as your hands traveled down his waist thinned but the muscles never softened. This was the beginning of a true night to remember, starting with exploring each other's bodies. Words didn't need to be said, the touches alone said everything.

Mingis thumb stopped attacking your sensitive nub and moved to your exposed skin. He traced his hands down your bare skin, the physical contact sending waves of goose bumps up your body. You bite your lip as your hands travel to his back, his muscles still prominent there as well. His fingers graze along the top of your skirt, his index finger tapping the button.

“Princess,” he says softly and you look up at him, making direct eye contact for what felt like an eternity. He leans down and kisses your stomach gently before looking up at you with puppy eyes. You have to hold in your laughter at his adorable expression. “I never got to tell you all the things I wanted to do to you,” he smirks. “I wanna make you feel loved, I want to cherish every single part of your body,” he caresses your face softly as he speaks in a creamy tone. “I want to take your pleasure to new heights, I want to hear you scream my name and plead for more,” Mingi hisses, his eyes begging for your consent. You brush your fingers through his hair. “I know we're moving fast but…I've always been the type I guy to go at a fast pace,” he sighs, trying to ignore the fact your leg is pressing right against his boner. You put a finger to his lips, shutting him up.

“I've heard everything I need to. You can do whatever you want to me,” you smile at him lustfully and you see the sparkle appear in his eyes.

“That's dangerous baby, everything I want,” he chuckles before unbuttoning your skirt, arousal filling the small space of his car. He simultaneously pulls down your panties with the skirt, finally freeing your aching core. He holds your hips steadily as he leans down his lips parted. He tests the waters by dipping his tongue to your clit, experimentally licking it. You jump lightly at the long awaited contact, biting your knuckle as you do so. He looks up at you through hooded eyes that makes your eyes roll back as he uses little kitten licks on your clit.

“Stop teasing me,” you whine as you toss your head back, your right hand now tangled in your hair while your left hand squeezes one of your tits. Mingi grins before sitting up again.

“You said I could do whatever I wanted to you, and I want to tease you until you're begging for me,” he smirked and you scowled at him. If he wanted you to beg, you were going to BEG.

"Please Mingi, I'm serious,” you look up at him with pleading eyes.

“Please what? Use your words princess,” he smirks as he traces his thumb across your lower lip, his other arm pressed against your waist, his hand gripping the bottom of the seat.

“Please…” you hesitated, trying to find the words to use. You didn't want to sound like a desperate whore but you always needed him to eat you out until you saw stars. “Fuck me with your tongue,” you throw your head back and he smiles, retreating his hand from your lips. Okay maybe you sounded a bit more desperate than you meant to but at least now Mingi understands how much you physically need him right now.

He leans down to your aching pussy lips with a smirk. He holds your thighs open as his mouth covers your folds, warming them with his mouth. The feeling alone could make you cum, your hips bucking into his jaw. He chuckles lowly, his deep voice vibrating your core. He then runs his tongue up all of your folds, from the entrance to your clit. You whimper and grab his fiery hair. He moves his head as he takes long licks, the tip of his nose rubbing against your clit as he did so. You felt your thighs jitter at the pleasure, threatening to close and lock around his head. You held yourself back, refraining to just arching your back but Mingi started rolling his tongue in circles and swaying his head back and forth creating double stimulation.

You gasp loudly and you notice the smirk creep onto his face. In all honesty you were nearing your orgasm already but you wanted to prove to Mingi you could hold on. Mingi though, could feel your walls convulsing under his lips and taste the impending release. He clenched your hips harder and pulled them to his face, forcing you to take the stimulation. You couldn't squirm away anymore. He brought his hand down to your entrance and started gently teasing the little slit with the tip of his ring finger. It was enough to send Shockwaves of pleasure up your body. You couldn't hold back anymore. You clenched his hair in a tight fist as your moans pitched.

“M-Mingi I'm gonna cum,” you whimper out and Mingi smirks one last time before assaulting your pussy lips with his tongue. His tongue relentlessly lapping at your juices as his nose pressed against your clit, his finger still teasing your slit. You jumped from the sudden jolt of energy from him before unraveling beneath him. Your hips jitter as they rutt into his face, your sweet release dripping onto his finger.

He pulls back and pushes his finger inside you. You jump at the sudden intrusion, lunging forward. “M-Mingi!?” You gasp out and he laughs, fingering you as he does so. You put your head on his shoulder as he toys with you. You were already so sensitive from that unimaginable orgasm and here he was bringing you to the edge again. You clench his hair in a fist again as tears of pleasure build in your eyes. “I'm gonna cum again,” you stutter out and mingi grins.

“I know baby~ I can feel your walls clenching around my finger,” he chuckles into your ear and that just about does it. You spill out under him again before falling limp in his arms. He pulls his finger out if you and he catches you slightly as you pant. “You did good, so good,” he showers you in wet kisses as he lets you rest. He runs his fingers through your hair, calming you down from the rush. “Do you need a break?” He asks as you rest on the back of the seats. You shake your head and Mingi tilts his head.

In truth, you did need a break. Even if it was a few minutes but you were afraid that this intimate experience might end.

“I'm fine,” you pant out with a wave of your hand.

“Here let me give you a drink at least,” he opens a drawer from underneath the car seat and brings out a plastic water bottle for you. You look at him surprised as he opens the cap. He sits next to you and holds your jaw gently, tipping your head back. “Open~” he smiles and you do as he says. The cold water soothes your throat and rejuvenates you for another round of excitement. He puts the cap back on before setting the water bottle in a cup holder up front. He smiles at you warmly as he lays back against the seat with you. “Do you want to keep moving forward or leave it at this?”

Your attention instantly snaps back to him. You lean in, basically crawl on him, as he looks around awkwardly. Blush creeps up from his neck as your hands roam over his body. He looks between your breasts to your crotch, back and forth. “I'm not done with you just yet,” you grin as a string of cum drips from your pussy to his bulge straining on his pants. He throws his head back with a moan. You grin and move down to your knees, undoing his pants. He's taken aback by your sudden advance but as the cold air hits his erection all his worries melt away.

“Alright pretty girl,” he laughs as his head tosses back again. “Just be gentle with me,” he chuckles in a mocking tone. As his cock finally springs free, your eyes widen. He was long and thick with a silky smooth shaft coated in precum, his tip basically glowing red. Mingi waits patiently for you to take in the sight of him but his desire peeks through. His cock twitches upward as you stare at him. He chuckles softly as his arms lengthen out to the other two seats, grabbing the headrests to stabilize himself. “Take your time,” he groans out but in reality he wanted to shove his cock in your mouth, push it down your throat and listen to you gag, but he refrained.

You gently start to rub his cock, getting him warmed up to your touch. He was definitely living for the contact. His hips arch up into your palm. You finally decide to lower your head and take his tip into your mouth, just the tip. As he feels the damp cavern of your mouth take his tip his head lunges forward with a hiss. “That's it, good girl,” he groans and his praise only drives you further into insanity. His hands slowly travel down from the seats to you, holding the hair out of your face as you take him deeper. “Oh fuck yes, so good baby,” he groans as his grasp on your hair gets a little firmer. You hum in satisfaction which makes his cock vibrate. He moans and arches his hips up. “Sorry baby, I can't hold myself back,” he groans and tosses his head back as you bob on his length.

You felt his dick twitching in your mouth. It was clear he felt close but he must've had a similar mindset to you. “I want to prove to her that I can last,” is what you assumed so naturally you increased everything. The pressure of your sucking, depth, and speed. He moaned loudly and grabbed your head.

“Fuck baby! I'm gonna cum,” he groaned and shoved your head down, shoving his full length into your mouth. His hot seed filled your mouth, coming out in thick creamy waves. You gag on his length and hit his thigh, trying to tell him you needed to stop. He lifts your head off of him and you cough, cum and drool dripping down your mouth. “Sorry princess,” he leans down to your level before kissing your forehead. “You were just so cute, I couldn't hold back,” he explains as he rubs your back.

“It's okay,” you nod and Mingi smiles fondly at you. He brushes your hair back before kissing your forehead again.

“You did so good,” he grins before lifting you up by your hips. “And now, I'm going to fuck you so hard,” he smirks as he lays your down. He takes off his shirt and throws it somewhere in the car. “It's your reward for being such a good girl,” he smirks. “How do you want me to fuck you? Into the back seats, or maybe you'd like doggy style~?” He plays with a few strands of your hair. “Or do you want to try every position we can in this car~?” He smirks and you look up at him, surprised.

You nod shyly and his smirk turns into a devilish grin. “Oh you're a dirty girl aren't you?” He says before picking you up again, laying you against the back seats. “If you need me to stop or need some more water just ask alight princess?” He confirms as he pumps his cock a few times, preparing it for the events to come. He teases you for a while, slapping your clit with his cock and running his tip up your folds. He then reaches behind him to the backside of the front seat. He pulls out a condom and holds it between his teeth before ripping it open. Sliding the lubed ring around his cock. Once he has it fully on he lines back up to your entrance again. “Ready?” He asks and you nod with a content hum.

“Go slow,” you remind him and he nods. He slowly begins to push into you. You feel his tip alone stretching you out, his girth is unimaginable and you can't wait for it to be pumping into you.

[captainlunaxmen]

Dragon's Healer

Chapter 2

Daemyra x Fem!reader

Dark!Aemond x fem!reader

Hello!!! Hope you're having a good day!

Here's the second chapter of my HOTD fic. I changed the age of a few characters, and I definitely took some liberty in some lore things😂 but not so much as to change the story itself. Don't worry. Once again let me know what you think, and if you want to be added to the tag list 😘

Chapter summary: Tensions are present at King's Landing like never before, even the small glimpse of hope might not be enough.

Chapter warnings: character's death (you know who),non consensual touching.

Tag list

@k1ttybean

@tojisrealwifey

@sinarainbows

Aemond smiles at me, and I take a moment to fully observe him. He's taller, that's for sure, his jaw is more defined than I remembered, hair longer too.

"Am I that unrecognisable?" He jests.

"No... well.. yes," I say, completely at loss for words, "I left you a boy and now look at you."

He shyly smiles as he nears, nearly towering over me.

"I heard about your arrival and wanted to say hi myself." He admits, he keeps hid hands behind his back, soldier stance.

"That's nice of you, Aemond." I smile at him and can't help but look at the scar on his face, "did you put those oils like I told you?"

"Of course." He nods.

"That's good to know." I raise a hand to gently touch the scar and check it, "you did good."

He briefly leans into my hand and I take it back immediately.

"Thank you." He says, "I always kept your advices at heart. Like not taking whatever people say about me as truth."

"What do you mean? Did anyone say anything?" I ask, incredulously, "about your scar? That's absurd."

"Called me a monster and all that." He explains, stepping a little closer.

"I do hope you didn't listen to any of it then." I tell him, putting the book I was reading away, to have an excuse to put some distance between us. There's something not right, but I can't quite place it.

"I tried my best," he simply replies, following me, "I kept repeating your words. The ones you used to comfort me after I lost my eye. Do you remember?" He asks, looking closely my reactions, he doesn't wait for an answer to continue, "you told me small people need to make others feel just as small, in order to feel big, because most of the time they're so ashamed they need to make someone else feel just as miserable."

"Glad you kept that in mind." I chuckle, a hint of nerves getting to me from the way he's looking at me.

"I found it." He tells me, out of nowhere, in fact, I can't help the confused look I give him.

"What?" I ask.

"The book you used to read to Haelena." He clarifies, "the one about the meaning of flowers."

"Oh really?" I excitedly smile, "that's amazing. Thank you so much."

"I have it in my chambers, I can give it to you tonight." He tells me, "after supper, father wants to dine as a family apparently."

"Uhm... of course." I say, with a little bit of uncertainty.

"I'm actually finishing an interesting chapter." He specifies.

"It's fine, Aemond." I say, trying to wave away my own worries. I think this whole tension is merely caused by being back here after so much time.

He smiles, I see him opening his mouth to say something, but the noise outside catches our attention.

"The council is starting." He states and hums, "let's hope justice stays strong today."

"Yes..." I mutter.

Something about what he said makes me stop, he's not the boy I once knew.

Without saying a word I walk out, him close behind.

"Do you promise?" I hear him ask.

"Promise?"

"To meet me here tonight..." he says, eyes hopeful.

"O-of course." I force a smile, and once he smiles too, satisfied, I head to the throne room with other nobles.

I'm quick to lose Aemond as I look for Rhaenyra and Daemon, and I find them upfront with their sons.

"Toon you long enough." Daemon whispers as I stand behind them, with Jace and Luke.

"I was in the library, have mercy." I tease him, after I see his smirk I turn to Rhaenyra, "are you okay?"

"I'll be." She shortly answers.

I deeply sigh, I catch with the corner of my eye the nervous stance of Luke beside his mother, so I give his arm a reassuring squeeze.

"Don't be nervous, Luke. Don't show them they have any power over you." I softly say, he doesn't answer, but I know he heard me and is trying. "And you," I turn to Jace, "keep the fury at bay, uh?"

He gives me an annoyed but understanding look, lets out a puff of breath and straightens his shoulder.

The chatter quickly dies down as Otto Hightower starts to speak.

"Though ot is the great hope of this court that Lord Corlys Velaryon survive his wounds, we gather here with the grim task of dealing with withe succession od Driftmark. As Hand, I speak with the King's voice on this and all other matters." He sits on the throne, " the crown will now hear the petitions."

"Hope he's comfortable." I mutter, hearning a grin from Daemon.

"Ser Vaemond of House Velaryon." Otto announes and Vaemond immediately takes stand in the middle, after sending a glare in our direction.

"My Queen, "he greets Alicent, "my Lord Hand, the history of our noble houses extends beyond the Seven Kingdoms to the days of Old Valyria. For as long as House Targaryen has ruled the skies, House Velaryon has tuled the seas. When the doom fell on Valyria, our houses became the last of their kind. Our forebearers came to this new land, knowing that were they to fail, it would mean the end of their bloodlines and their name." I see Daemon giving Rhaenyra a look and her nodding, "I have spent my entire life on Driftmark defending my brother's seat. I am Lord Corlys' closest kin, his own blood. The true, unimpeachable blood of House Velaryon runs through my veins."

"As it does in my sons, the offspring of Laenor Velaryon." Rhaenyra interferes, I mutter her name in warning, "if you cared so much about your house's blood, Ser Vaemond, you would not be so bold as to supplant its rightful heir. No, you only speak for yourself and for your own ambition."

"You will have chance to make your own petition, princess Rhaenyra." Alicent stops her, scolding her almost, "do Ser Vaemond the courtesy of allowing his to be heard."

That's when Vaemond turns around to smirk in Rhaenyra's direction.

"What do you know of Velaryon blood, princess?" He asks, "I could cut my veins and show it to you and you still wouldn't recognise it."

"Cut deep, please." I can't hold myself, it's a whisper and I don't think he heard me, if he did he didn't show.

"This is about the future and survival of my House, not yours." He finishes with a look at Luke that I didn't like one bit. If he needs any help in showing his blood I'd gladly help, " my Queen, my Lord Hand." he continues, "this is a matter of blood, not ambition. I place the continuation of the survival of my house and my line above all. I humbly put myself before you as my brother's successor. The Lord of Driftmark and Lord of the Tides."

"Thank you, Ser Vaemond." Otto says and Vaemond goes back to his place, "Princess Rhaenyra, you may now speak for your son, Lucerys Velaryon."

Rhaenyra, with quite a defeated face, takes stand in the middle too.

"If I am to garce this farce with some answers, I will start by reminding the court that nearly 20 years ago, in this very..."

She can't continue due to the doors suddenly being opened. All eyes are on the sudden interruption.

"King Viserys of House Targaryen, the first of his name, king of the Andals and the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kindoms, and protector of the Realm." The guard announces.

Hope fills my heart as I watch the king walking to his throne, I quick take a look around seeing the surprise on Otto and Alicent's faces. Vaemond is almost scared to see him, he looks at Otto for answers, but he got nothing.

I share a look with Daemon, to reassure him.

"I will sit the throne today." Viserys breathes out to Otto who can't to anything but nod his head.

The King is visibly weak, but he send the guard away, not wanting their help. He makes his way to the throne, with difficulty, he's leaning on his cane for support. When the crown falls and clatters, I see Daemon walking to his brother, retrieving the gold on the ground.

"I said I'm fine." Viserys says before seeing it's Daemon helping him, so he allows it. Daemon after helping his brother to the throne, puts the crown on his head then walks back to us.

"I must... admit... my confusion." He starts, taking back his king stance, " I do not understand why petitions are being heard over a settled succession. The only one present... who might offer keener insight into Corlys Velaryon's wishes is the Princesa Rhaenys."

All eyes set on her.

"Indeed, your grace." She confidently nods and takes place in the middle of the room like Vaemond and Rhaenyra did, "it was ever my husband's will that Driftmark pass through Ser Laenor to his true born son, Lucerys Velaryon, his mind never changed. Nor did my support of him." As Rhaenys speaks I feel relieved, almost tension melting away. "As a matter of fact, the Princess Rhaenyra has just informed me of her desire to marry her sons Jace and Luke to Lord Corlys' granddaughters, Baela and Rhaena. A proposal to which I heartily agree."

I smile at Luke and Jace, finally seeing they're a little more relaxed, Luke for sure, I can see him breath again.

"Well..." the king starts, "the matter is settled. Again." He's almost bored, understandable, "I hereby reaffirm Prince Lucerys of House Velaryon as heir to Driftmark, the Driftwood Throne, and the next Lord of the Tides."

"You'd be wonderful, Luke." I assure him, as Rhaenya goes back next to Baela.

"Ypu break law..." apparently Vaemond still has something to say, "and centuries of tradition to install your daughter as heir. Yet you dare tell me... who deserves to inherit the name Velaryon. No. I will not allow it."

"Allow it? Do not forget yourself, Vaemond." Viserys warns him.

There's a pause, Vaemond almost shaking with rage.

"That is no true Velaryon," he shouts pointing at Luke, "and certainly no nephew of mine."

"You had your turn, ser Vaemond." I say out loud this time, Vaemond glares at me.

"Lucerys is my true-born grandson. And you.. are no more than a second son of Driftmark." The king reminds him for his place.

"You... may run your house as you see fit... but you will not decide the future of mine. My house survived the Doom and a thousand tribulations besides. And gods be damned... "he turn to look straight at Luke, "I will not see it ended on the account of this..." he holds himself back.

"Say it." Daemon encourages him.

There's a long tense pause, Vaemond grins almost as he looks at Rhaenyra.

"Her children..." he starts," are bastards!" He shouts, "and she... is... a whore."

The nobles in the room gasps, I put a hand on Jace shoulder to keep him calm, and squeeze Luke's hand.

Viserys stands, weakly, but he stands up and draws out his dagger.

"I... will have your tongue for that." He threatens.

But Daemon is quicker and as soon as Viserys finishes his sentence, Daemon slices Vaemond's head, making everyone either scream or gasp.

Daemon casually leans on his sword looking down at the body.

"He can keep his tongue." He says.

"Disarm him!" Otto orders.

"No need." Daemon calmly says, cleaning his sword and walking back to Rhaenyra's side.

Viserys groans in pain probably.

"Call the maesters!" Alicent orders.

"Father?" Rhaenyra wants to walk to him,but stops before the stairs, she looks at me, silently telling me to check on him myself.

I make my way to Alicent holding the King with the guards help.

"Let me help, Alicent." I almost plead.

"The maesters help him just fine, we managed without you this whole time." She waves me off as she lets the guard take him to his chambers.

I helplessly look at them go, and send an apologetic look at Rhaenyra, she shakes her head to let me know it's not my fault, but her worried face remained.

--------------

"You asked for me, princess?" I ask as I join Princess Rhaenys at one of the balconies looking at the sea.

"Yes, my lady," she nods, "I wanted to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me."

"Me?"

"You're the only person who can clarify my doubts at the moment." She answers me.

"If I can be of help, princess, ask." I say, getting a little nervous.

"Did the princess Rhaenyra and Prince Daemon take any part in my son's death?" She looks straight into my eyes as she asks.

I take a moment, never braking eye contact, I can't decipher what she might think. I do know everyone thinks they killed Laenor, maybe she does too, but the question...

"I know Daemon might be reckless, and enjoys killing, you know him too. Yet, he's never been one to kill so lightly as everyone think, and Rhaenyra's wish for peace doesn't agree with such hypothesis. Don't you think?" I answer.

"You love them?" That question makes me lower my eyes, "I can see it. And I want to believe a soul like yours wouldn't fall for ill ones."

"I want to believe so too, princess." I look up at her again, seeing her soft and sad smile, "my best wishes to Lord Corlys' recovery. I do have a feeling he's too stubborn to leave us all like this."

That makes her smile a little more.

"Thank you, lady Y/n." She bows lightly and I do too, leaving her on the balcony.

--------------

I enter Rhaenyra and Daemon's chambers hoping they haven't left for supper yet.

"Where were you?" Daemon asks, fixing himself.

"Princess Rhaenys asked for me." I answer.

"Why?"

"She just wanted a clarification." I smile at him, "nothing to worry about."

"We thought you already headed for supper." Rhaenyra tells me.

"It's for the family why woul-"

"You're family too." She comes closer to hold my hands, "my father considers you like a daughter."

"After all this time.. I mean... I'm just your lady-" I try to say but her lips on mine stop me.

"You're more than that, and you know it. Stop your thoughts." She smiles.

"Are you sure he wants me there?" I ask, nervous.

"You're more than welcome at that table." She assures me.

"Besides... I'm not leaving you here on your own, I saw the guards sending you looks today." Daemon comes beside us, a possessive hand find its way to my waist.

"No guard was looking at me, Daemon." I roll my eyes.

"Oh yes, they were." He fully wraps his arms around me, "can't blame them, though."

I look at Rhaenyra for support, but she just smiles rolling her eyes and goes to the vanity to put her earrings on.

"Are you satisfied with the cutting?" I ask him, as he holds me to him.

"Very." He leans down to kiss my forehead, then before I could say anything more he kisses me deeply.

"Behave, we don't want to be late." Rhaenyra tells us, well, more to Daemon than me.

"I haven't kissed her in so long, let me enjoy her for a moment." He complains and leans down again to kiss me, but I turn my head, not that it prevents him to put his lips on me in any way.

"She's right." I say and he groans, complaining, "we don't want to be late."

"Don't we?" He asks against my skin.

"No." Rhaenyra smiles, but she's stern in her answer.

"Fine." He says, kissing my neck one last time, "but after supper," he takes my chin in his hand, "all mine." He winks.

"Let's go, my loves." Rhaenyra calls us, and takes my hand as we together head to the dining room.

--------------

There definitely tension in the room, despite the chatter. Chatter coming from the young ones, because at the table Rhaenyra and Alice don't say a word to each other, it's like they're keeping and eye on the other but without even looking.

I stand beside my seat, next to Luke by the head of the table, talking to the girls, when the doors open and the king enters and takes his place in the middle, between his daughter and his wife.

"How doo it is... to see you all tonight... together." He starts, I can see this really makes him happy.

"Pray before we begin?" Alicent asks and once Viserys agrees she starts, "may the Mother smile down on this gathering with love. May the Smith mwnd the bonds that have been broken for far too long. And to Vaemond Velaryon, may the gods give him rest."

At that Daemon rolls his eyes and I send him a look to tell him to behave.

"This is an occasion for celebration, it seems." Viserys declares, "my grandsons, Jace and Luke, will marry their cousins, Baela and Rhaena, further strengthening the bond between our houses. A toast to the young princes... and their betrothed." He offers.

"Hear hear!"

And everyone raises their glasses, I smile at Luke and Rhaena, who are closer to me. I slightly see the glare Baela send to Aegon, but I can't tell why.

"Let us toast as well Prince Lucerys... the future Lord of the Tides."

"You'll be great." Rhaena tells him, after seeing the slightly flustered face of his betrothed, and I gently nudge him.

My eyes find their way on my left, Baela having the same glare as before, and this time I see clearly Aegon whispering something to Jace.

"He's not worth it, my dear." I whisper to her, and she lets out a big annoyed breath.

Thankfully, Viserys standing makes everyone silent, he looks at everyone at the table.

"It both gladdens my heart and fills me with sorrow to see these faces around the table. The faces most dear to me in all the world... yet grown so distant from each other... int he years past." He speaks, breathes with difficulty. He then removes the mask on his face revealing his almost rotten side, "my own face... is no longer a handsome one... if indeed it ever was. But tonight... I wish you to see me.. as I am. Not just a king, but your father. Your brother. Your husband... and your grand sire. Who may not, it seems...walk for much longer among you. Let us no longer hols ill feelings in our hearts. The crown cannot stand strong if the House of the Dragon remains divided. But set aside your grievances. If not for the sake of the crown... then for the sake on this old man who loves you all so dearly." His voice breaks and my heart follows, he does care about the house being one.

He weakly sits again with a groan and Rhaenyra stands up, golding her glass.

"I wish to raise my cup to her Grace, the Queen." She declares, Alicent looks up at her a mix of surprise and confusion on her face, "I love my father. But I must admit that no one has stood... more loyally by his side than his good wife. She has tended to him with... unfailing devotion, love and honor. And for that, she has my gratitude... and my apology." As she sits back down I genuinely smile at her.

I look at Alicent, who looks speechless, she definitely didn't expect Rhaenyra to say such things to her.

"Your graciousness moves me deeply, princess." She says, uncertain, but with honesty, "we're both mothers... and we love our children. We have more in common than we sometimes allow." She stands as well with her own glass, "I raise my cup to you... and to your house." She takes a breath, "you'll make a fine queen."

I can't hold the smile on my face, Rhaenyra softly smiles too. It might've never seemed like it, but hearing Alicent's support now means a lot to her. Everyone raises their cups and drinks.

I send Alicent a grateful look and she kindly smiles in return.

Aegon stands up, wanting to fill his glass again, but it's clear he looked for an excuse to get to Baela, so I keep my attention on him.

"I, um..." he starts whispering, filling his glass, "I regret the disappointment you are soon to suffer. But if you ever wish to know what it is to be well satisfied, all you have to do is ask." He 'offers', making Jace hit the table harshly and stand up.

"Jace." Baela calls softly.

Aemond too stands and they stare at each other, a hint of a challenge flashes in Aemond's eye.

Jace then grabs his glasses ans raises it.

"To Prince Aegon and... Prince Aemond. We have not seen each other in years, but I have fond memories of our shared youth. And as men, I hope we may yet be friends and allies. To you and your family's good health, dear uncles."

"Well done, my boy" Viserys proudly smiles at him.

"I would like to toast to Baela and Rhaena," Haelena stands too, which warms my heart, "they'll be married soon. It isn't so bad. Mostly, he just ignores you... except sometimes when he's drunk." She says, and that earns some laughs around the table, then she sits down.

I decide it's my turn to say something so I stand up with my own glass.

"I guess I'll say something too, if you let me." I say, and once Viserys nods his head, I continue, "I owe so much to this family, I probably wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for your kindness, my King. I want to raise my glass to you and all of your house, as thank you for letting me be a part of this family, may the gods protect you all." And I sit back down, Rhaenyra smiles at me fondly. Viserys nods, and a soft smile makes its way on his pained face.

"Let us have some music." Viserys says, and immediately a lively tune can be heard in the room.

Jace stands and goes to ask Haelena for a dance, and as they dance and maids bring more food and wine, the chatter at the table starts, laughter too. I chat with Rhaena, and Luke and Baela chimes in every now and then.

After a while, the guards are called to bring the king away. He's probably too weak to even stay up so much, I let out a shaky breath, feeling helpless.

"I'm afraid there's not much more to be done, don't trouble yourself." Baela soft says to me, noticing my powerless expression, I nod, understanding her words, but still feeling bad, I couldn't be of help.

Suddenly there a bang in the table and the music stops.

We all look up to Aemond standing and harshly grabing his glass.

"Final tribute." he declares, I don't know exactly why, but there's tension in the room again all of a sudden,"to the health of my nephews: Jace... Luke... and Jeoffrey. Each of them handsome, wise... hm... strong."

"Aemond." Alicent says his name as a warning, but he ignores her.

"Come... let us drain our cups to these three...strong boys."

"I dare you to say that again." Jace loudly challenges.

"Why? 'Twas only a compliment." He walks towards him, Luke stands too, "do you not think yourself strong?"

Jace punches Aemond as Aegon grabs Luke, preventing him from getting near them.

We all stand up, Baela's temper can't take it anymore and needs to be held back by Rhaena. Aemond pushes Jace to the ground, and before Jace tries to attack him again, a guard seizes him and Luke too.

"It's okay, calm down." I stand close to Baela and Rhaena, helping her calming her sister.

"Why would you say such a thing before these people?" I hear Alicent ask her son.

"I was merely expressing how proud I am of my family mother. Though it seems my nephews aren't quite as proud of theirs."

I go stand with Rhaenyra, as Jace manages to wiggle free from the guard.

Fortunately, Daemon stops him.

"Wait, wait." He tells him, making him back away.

"Go to your quarters. All of you go, now." Rhaenyra tells them all.

I sigh, disappointed, I shake my head, looking at Aemond.

Daemon stands behind her, in front of Aemond, then when he leaves, too, Daemon walks the young ones out.

"Rhaenyra." Alicent calls, and the Princess hold my hand, to make me stay.

"It's beat, I think, if we go back to Dragonstone." She sighs.

"You've only just arrived." Alicent takes her hamd gently, "you both."

"Lete see the children home." She starts, "I'll, um... return on dragon back."

"The king and I would both like that." The queen nods, "You as well... I hope." She adds, looking at me.

"I... I could stay here and wait for her." I say to Alicent, nodding to Rhaenyra, who smiles at me.

"That would be nice, my lady." She smiles and bow my head slightly before walking put with Rhaenyra.

"Do you feel alright in riding Syrax in your condition?" I ask her as we walk.

"I'm more than fine, don't worry about me." She assures me, "Are you sure to stay here?"

"I am, princess." I assure her as well.

"Promise to tell me if anything happens." She says, squeezing my hand.

"Of course."

--------------

I'm helping Rhaenyra brush her hair, and Daemon is taking off his boots when we hear a knock on the doors.

The maid opens it and a guard makes his way inside.

"Apologies for the intrusion, princess. I was sent here to fetch lady Y/n." He explains.

"And why's that?" Daemon stands, ready to rush to his sword.

"Prince Aemond asked for her presence in the library." He replies, getting a little nervous after seeing Daemon's reaction.

"Oh, thanks, I almost forgot." I say.

"Forgot what?" Daemon immediately asks.

"I'll be there shortly." I nod to the guard, who nods and walks out of the room, after bowing to the couple.

"Forgot what?" Daemon repeats the question, more sternly.

"I promised him I would've met him in the library after supper. He found a book I was looking for for ages, and he wants to give it back to me." I explain, simply.

"Yes, I know what he wants to give to you." He mutters under his breath.

"Daemon." Rhaenyra scolds him.

"What? Haven't you seen how he looked at her at that table?" Daemon's shocked.

"Gods..." I sigh, "he wasn't looking at me in any way, Daemon."

"Yes, he was." He insists.

"Like what then?" I question.

He moves towards me until he's towering over me, taking my chin and making me look up at him.

"Like I look at you before I grab you and throw you on the bed, my love." He tells me, making my face heat up.

"Don't..." I warn him.

"I like seeing you flustered like this." He smirks, leaning closer.

"You enjoy torturing her. It's different." Rhaenyra's amusement is clear as she speaks.

"I do." He admits, proudly. "That's why I recognise when someone is looking at what's mine."

"He wasn't." I insist

"He was."

"He was not." I tell him, "really. Now let me go. The sooner I retrieve the book, the sooner I'll be back." I manage to put some space between us and grab my shoes.

"I'm not letting you go to him alone." He sternly tells me.

"It's just Aemond." I remind him, "I cared for him a lot when he was younger."

"Yes, but he's not a child anymore. He's twenty, isn't he?" He pretends to wonder, "he has one thing in mind."

"Don't be ridiculous." I sigh. "Listen, I'll be quick, alright? Stop worrying. Rhae, help."

"She's capable of defending herself, my love." She supports me, "and she's right. The sooner she goes, the sooner she's back into our arms."

Daemon sighs deeply, not agreeing one bit, but recognises he's being outnumbered.

"Fine. But be quick."

"Of course." I give him a kiss, "Do not worry." I go kiss Rhaenyra and walk out towards the library.

I follow the guard to the library, softly thanking him as he lets me in.

"Aemond?" I call, and once I hear his voice, I follow it until I find him, standing by a table casually reading the book, a hand behind his back."There you are."

He looks up to me and smiles.

"I know it's late, my apologies for that, my lady." He says.

"It's fine, Aemond, do not worry." I assure him, I look at the book, "was it interesting?"

"Very." He nods, "I particularly enjoyed the chapter about the secret messages."

I walk cautiously closer, more so I can grab the book rather than to him.

"Oh, yes, apparently in Old Valyria, they used flowers and plants to send messages instead of ravens." I say, looking at the page Aemond was reading a few moments ago, "ah, yes, they used them also so propose marriage, to express their deepest love to one another."

I can sense him moving around me, I try to ignore the creeps down my spine as I feel him closer.

"They used dahlias to propose, didn't they?" He asks. There's something in his voice that makes me tense.

"Yes... um... yes, they did." I nod, controlling my voice so he doesn't see my nerves.

"Like this one?" He asks, and a dahlia appears in front of me.

"Oh! Where did you find it? I thought they couldn't grow here." I wonder, still not taking the flower.

"I had them plant them," he starts as he gets even closer, almost against me, "once I read that chapter, I had them plant tons of these. It's for you... from me."

I immediately turn around, and take a few steps away from him.

"Excuse me?" I ask.

"Marry me." He tells me.

"Aemond... uh... why?" I ask again.

"The flower speaks for it, doesn't it?" He gets closer, not caring that I'm backing away.

"I'm too old for you." I make him reason.

"Not true, you're perfect." He shakes his head. He's quicker than me and stands in front of me again, forcing me to back up against the bookshelves.

"Aemond... listen..."

"Since I can remember," he interrupts me, putting his hands on my waist, "you've been the only one understanding me, the only one who truly saw me.

"No..." I carefully move his hands away, "Aemond this, whatever you think you're feeling it's-"

"I know what I feel." He snaps, but his features soften immediately, "I know what I feel. I want you, and I know you feel it too."

"No." I push him off, "no, Aemond, I don't. This is... very sweet, but I don't share these feelings. I'm sorry."

He looks at me, without saying a word, without a single expression on his face.

"There would be time, my love." He finally says, "You just need to get away from my dear sister in order to properly see."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, irritated.

He simply hums, retrieves the book, and hands it to me, and without any more words, he walks away.

I take a moment to catch my breath. What just happened? I can't believe Daemon was right, like this. When he put his hands on me, there was something in his eye that made me fear for myself.

I'm afraid he has changed a lot since I last saw him.

[bunny-ology]

I started off in college as an education major wanting to be a middle school science teacher, but ended up quitting that because of how ableist the major was.

I switched to an agriculture degree because I grew up on a farm, and during 2020 I was constantly at home and convinced myself I could physically do the work, and I completed that degree despite the professors being ableist and morally questionable.

While I was an Ag major, I was working for the geology museum on campus, and decided to get my Masters degree in museum studies. During my studies, I realized how disabled people are constantly left out of deai discussions in the museum field, only ever seen as potential visitors and never potential workers, and so I finished my degree with independent research into how disabled staff are treated.

During my last semester in grad school, I started working as a substitute teacher and realized that my education major professors were wrong; I as a disabled person can totally be a teacher without a problem. My grad school advisor also told me that a lot of myself professionals go back and forth between the school system and museums. So I'm taking the leap to try to become a teacher

I just took my GACE (the Georgia certification test) and passed at a professional level! Once I am hired by a school, I will start taking the remainder of classes that I need to be considered a full fledged teacher

I've literally just made a circle, but the agriculture and museum studies degrees are still a huge help to me as a science educator. Other than space, agriculture perfectly set me up to understand everything required for students to learn and places me in a good spot to introduce an FFA chapter to the school, while my museum studies degree has allowed me to see education from a different perspective than my coworkers in order to more adequately come up with ideas in joint discussions. Additionally, I included disability and deai research in almost everything I did from work to school, and as a disabled person myself, I feel that my understanding of accessibility and empathy for other disabled people has prepared me more for interacting with disabled students in my classes.

Not a single bit of my journey was for naught, and I no longer feel ashamed or regretful towards my agriculture degree. I'm also excited to continue learning and eventually helping others to learn too

[duskwoodraven]

I feel moved to speak, sooner rather than later because I believe time is of the essence and this needs to be understood in order to keep Moonvale from crumbling to the ground completely.

This is not completely spoiler heavy, but it will discuss the game. I should note that unfortunately I have not finished the episode because I am struggling with the mini games in making progress. So I do not know how the episode ends, but I need to say this in order for me to rest.

I am very angry and disappointed with this game, and even more than that, I hold a great deal of second hand embarrassment for Everbyte.

One of the greatest reasons I respected these developers during Duskwood is that the game never felt like a cash grab like so many games do these days. The option to make a one time payment for complete access to Duskwood was fantastic, an option they should have carried to here and that is the biggest grievance I have.

There is no reason a game should cost hundreds of dollars to experience and enjoy. There is no reason for the prices of gems to be as expensive as they are. This is unacceptable Everbyte, and you should feel ashamed of it, you should know better.

The beauty of Duskwood and what set it apart was its feel of realism and the fact that every question had a reasonable answer. Your use of AI art has cheapened the look of your game, not enhanced it, not to mention it’s insulting to use generated art when there are many artists who are already losing jobs to AI, artists who would have been happy to work with you if given the chance. If the cost of commission is too high, then use of stock photos you had before was just fine, and I believe you should have kept it, I can’t look at Ash and Charlie’s profiles without it striking me as goofy.

Furthermore, the story does not make sense, we were able to read chats because Jake made it possible for us, now it just feels like the return of a gimmick with no explanation, the same with the mini games, in the past we did mini games to “hack” into Hannah’s cloud, now we do it “just because”. It’s lost its feeling of meaning, not to mention most private chats are behind the gem paywall, which we never had to deal with before!

The characters seem more plain to me, or maybe they are loveable but I’ll never know because again, paywall. I can’t read the premium options and get to know them deeper because of it. There are also no profiles like before, which is awful because we can’t look back on past video calls and links and we can’t see what these characters are all about, their personality is gone.

Even MC’s answer options seem blander, more vanilla, repetitive or one directional.

I say this truthfully from my soul, if this was the style of of game you dropped but for Duskwood instead, I never would have played it.

I would have never fallen in love with it.

I would have never made this blog and would never have waited years for every episode and a new game.

I would have never made art and countless theories.

I would have deleted the game immediately.

So I’m asking you, begging you, please change this for our sakes, and especially for yours.

Because despite all my gripes and anger, and everything I’ve said, I know you guys have actually worked hard on this game because the evidence is there, hidden beneath it all.

I love the actual real life people you have for Adam and Eric, I was so moved to help Adam when he started to cry. I want to know why he knows us and wants our help. I laughed when Eric told us he had tripped, and I do want to get to know him. I even wished to lovingly twist Charlie’s neck! That is the game I remember loving, its writing and characters, I can see the potential here.

But you need to change something, otherwise I cannot support this game, I cannot force myself to play it. I will drop Moonvale.

Give the players a one time payment option for 100% complete access to the game, access to all premium options. That’s the least I feel anyone could ask of you and is biggest reason you are getting this backlash.

To my fellow players, if you agree with any of what I said then I ask you not to pay for anything until Everbyte changes to make their game more affordable. Don’t be quiet and please voice your opinions everywhere they can see it. That’s the only way something could change.

I am so sorry this is what we got… you all deserve better.

[lazybutsmexy]

NOOO NO NO NO TAKE IT BACK APOLOGY W TEARS RN IM SOBBING CRYING DON'T DO THIS TO ME THIS IS A PERSONAL ATTACK(it was delicious, scrumptious wow i love seeing sadness) MAKE IT BETTER OW OW BRING THEM BACK(it was so good i love your writing eating it up yumyumyum) I crave more of them all being platonic (HURT/COMFORT?!??!) plsplspls begging for crumbs in tears ill do anything

Hmmm... I am a slut for hurt/comfort myself...

Task Force + affectionate reader Pt. 3

Pt. 1 Pt. 2

Warnings: HURT/COMFORT, bit of cursing.

The people who smile the most are often the saddest. The people who share the most love often don't feel any towards themselves.

Or: it's your team's turn to show affection

It was one of those days.

One of those days where you didn't have the energy to care about yourself. You were able to keep up with your little routines around base, somehow. But it was dimmed, a matte finish to what was once all shiny and sparkly.

Because it was one of those days.

You always became like this after taking leave for longer than two days. You'd visit your family during that time - or rather, they would come to you as soon as they realized you were at your place downtown and not the barracks - and bombard you with anything they set their minds to.

No matter how grueling your missions were, your family always managed to make you feel even more drained during leave. Their constant demands and mental games, the guilt-tripping and manipulation, always made you feel as if you were walking on eggshells around them.

Tracking down and dismantling human trafficking rings seemed like a walk in the park compared to dealing with them.

You personally tried your best to keep your personal problems away from your work, greeting everyone around you with the same cheery tone, and going about your little routine with the others as usual.

But they had started to notice how your smile didn't reach your eyes, and how you seemed unable to shake off the frown in your brows.

And to avoid unwanted questions that you were too ashamed to answer, you simply chose to distance yourself.

Price shared a look with Ghost, who stood across the room from him, and he shared the same concern in his eyes as they watched you walk into the debrief room

you sat yourself at the back, whereas you'd usually choose to sit in the middle of your team

they immediately knew what was going to happen, you were about to start isolating yourself.

they were having none of that.

Price had always kept a close eye on the family relations of his team members.

it was a security measure, after all, to make sure that not only they weren't targeted by dangerous people, but also to make sure they were no connected in any way to their missions.

but in your case it was different, he monitored your family to make sure they never stayed close to you for too long.

it seemed it hadn't been enough this time, and he saw your haggard state as the consequence of that failure.

he would definitely fix that

he began talking to both Laswell and his superiors to get you one of the smaller houses within base

even though you were unmarried and didn't have any children, he knew it would be impossible for those pesky family members to get close to your home without permission

your parents had managed to talk your landlord into giving them access to your apartment - that would not happen under Price's watch

he would actually blacklist them if he had the chance to do so

he wouldn't let you know he was trying to get you a house, at first - he didn't want you to feel like a burden

but he was not exactly subtle when he began asking what colors you preferred on your walls, if you minded only having a shower head or if you preferred a bathtub, etc

Soap wasn't subtle at all, oh no

boy got you hooked in a one-arm hug for as long as you'd let him

that could be a few minutes or all day long, he didn't mind one bit

endlessly squeezed and smooched on your hairline whenever he caught you lost in thought

definitely the one to (lovingly) manhandle you into a blanket burrito and snuggle you into his lap to watch movies

surprisingly a great cook, he would go all out and cook you whatever your comfort food was

it didn't matter if it was 3 AM

you would be fed, and you could almost taste the love he poured in it

definitely wore a 'kiss the cook' apron to make you giggle and try to get a smooch from you

Gaz is the king of self care

you would not let your skincare/hair routine go under his watch

he would do it for you if you didn't have the energy to do so

he would just sit you on the toilet and he'd take care of all the steps of your skincare routine

if he didn't have all the steps memorized, he definitely had a bulletpoint list of specific instructions to guide himself

same with your hair - trust this man with your hair, you won't regret it, ever

this man had magic hands for scalp massages fight me if you disagree

if you aren't comfortable being nude in front of him, he would simply put a chair in front of the sink like a makeshift hair wash basin and work like that

if you were comfortable being nude in front of him, he would make it into a full-body wash

after working with your hair, he would scrub your body down

every now and then he would massage your tired muscles while telling you how much he appreciated you as both his teammate and his friend

after shower cuddles were a must

you would very likely doze off in his arms while he held you impossibly close to him

Ghost didn't see himself as a person capable of comforting others

but all doubts flew through the window the moment he saw your downcast gaze and a tired hunch of your shoulders

at this point in time, you had become about 80% of the team's moral incentive

of course he knew it was quite unfair to dump all of that on you, he supposed you would have your down days too

but you were part of a team, and no one fought alone - be it terrorist organizations or their own inner demons

he would work alongside Price to get you a new living place

any person trying to ask you stupid and/or unwanted questions would find themselves at the other end of one of his famous death glares

or at the aim of his fist

when you approached him to pat him on the shoulder like always, pretending that everything was all right, he placed his own hand on your shoulder

he looked into your eyes and spoke to you with such sincerity that you were shaken to the core

"...You know that you are just as deserving of love as everyone else, right?"

moments later, you were clutching his middle, with your face buried in his chest while he hugged you tightly

he didn't mind that his shirt felt a little wetter with your tears

he focused on stroking your hair and rubbing your back, while glaring at anyone who dared to look at you questioningly

he would let you hug him until your arms fell off if that's what you needed

more cuddles!!

...he wouldn't mind it too much either if Soap and Gaz joined in a cuddle pile - he pretended to be annoyed, but he thought it felt nice

imagine how much nicer it would feel for you :)