#i am that extroverted girl that would suffer after being rejected by him ... or by his characters whatever

[afterhourstrackthirteen]

i can't read Kafka without having hot heavy obsessive weird romantic feelings for him . If not, what’s the point.

[winterwolf0916]

Gregarious

Tim Drake x Extrovert!Reader

Requested by anon: Heyo! Could I please get headcannons for tim with a super loud, outgoing and extroverted girlfriend? Like how they met, how they got together etc. I love your work, thank you so much 😊

A/n: Really hope you all like this. 

Also, Requests are now open.

Word Count:2207

It first started out in a chat room. YEP! A chat room. 

Since your friends were struggling to study for their upcoming exams, they decided to create a study group. 

They added a couple of classmates onto the group chat (mostly smart ones) including you since you do give great first impression in person.

Tim was out patrolling until he felt vibration from his phone. He checks it out to find him being placed in a group chat.

 He gazed at the text message that spoke, ‘...so our first study group would be held tomorrow at 1 sharp. If you can’t arrive just let us know’ 

Tim was about to message them that he wouldn't arrive because...well he didn't want to. He already knows what is taught in the class and has a perfect A+ in the class. 

But at the same time he didn’t want to be an ass and not lend them a hand.

The next day...he overslept. He had less than 10 minutes to arrive at the library. And the manor far from the city.

Boy was he rushing. And even sped up to the library. With books in his hands and messed up hair.

As he was near to the area where they would study in the library, he stumbled upon someone. 

How? As cliché as it sounds, when he notices you were there, he was bewildered. He was so caught off guard that he tripped on his own shoes and the items in his arms flew everywhere.

Oh! And let’s not forget...He wanted to apologize to everyone about his tardiness by buying cups of coffee for each of them...So...

“I. AM. SO. SO. SO. SO SORRY!!” He yelled. Followed by some people shushing him since he was in a library.

The Pro’s about this situation, is that he saved half of the drinks.

The cons is, the other half spilled on your outfit, the floor, and parts of the table.

If Jason and/or Damian witnessed what happened, they would’ve been laughing their asses off.

The group members helped pick up his books, some of your friends left to fetch some napkins, while Tim is left there panicking in front of you.

“What the hell is wrong with me! I am so sorry again, I didn’t know what came over me-”

“Hey!” Tim immediately looked up at your eyes after your first word to him. “It's alright. I’m not hurt, well the drinks were hot, but nothing too serious. It's ok.” 

Your voice, your tone, your volume, the way how you spoke, how you smiled at him, reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault when it completely was. 

His heart skipped several beats. You weren’t angry at him. After he basically spilled many cups of coffee on you by accident. 

This was not how he imagined to introduce himself to you. I mean, he seen you in class from time to time and he thought you were brave, how you talk confidently to the teacher declaring no homework for the day or how it's unfair to have a test the next day after a lecture that has been so confusing.

He wanted to know you better. You have that charm on people, making them wanting to know you better. But it seemed like an impossibility since you were surrounded by people most of the time and he was incredibly shy. 

“Alright let's start over. I’m Y/n L/n.” 

He was confused. How can you be so nice to him after he had just committed an accident. A horrible accident. Therefore, making a horrible first impression onto some people. 

“I know.” He shook your hand. And the first thing that came up to his head, was that it was soft. You gave him a confused look causing him to panic.

“Oh! Not like that. I’m not a creep. I-Its just I see you in class and everyone knows you, not that I don’t know you. You’re outstanding in class, standing up to Mr. Clay and-Ok I’ll stop.” He was blabbering on again. 

He was waiting for an awkward ‘oook then’ from you. But instead you giggled.

“Aww!!They weren’t wrong about you being adorable. Timothy right?” You teased. Tim could feel the tip of his ears growing red. You called him adorable...

“Only Tim. Tim Drake.” You hummed in response before turning to the table with a smile on your face.

“Shall we Timmy?” He nodded several times. And low-key loving how your giving him a nickname.

“What about your clothes?” You shrugged.

“At least I smell nice. Don’t worry too much, Timmy.” So this is what it meant to be head over heels for someone. Literally and figuratively

Click

Prom night. On a luxury Yacht at Gotham Harbor.

You were laughing with your group of friends. It was a perfect moment. The weather was calming, your dress hugging the curves on your body, your hair in a beautiful style, you looked fascinating, and Tim just had to take a picture with his camera. 

You looked breathtaking in the moment. As he looked down to see the screen of how it appeared, a smile formed on his lips that the lighting on your face looked perfect.

“Tim! You’re here!” You yelled pushing through your group of friends giving him a bear hug. He could see your friends smirking at your actions but he ignored it.

“Look at you! Wow! Looking like a million bucks I see.” You teased, letting go, taking a look of his outfit. And he looked stunning as well. 

It has been many months for the both of you being close friends. He loved your company. And you loved his. Hanging out in coffee shops, at school, late night calls or facetime, and the manor...

Whenever you leave after spending time with Tim, his brothers would tease him and urge him to make a move. But Tim being Tim, he felt scared (terrified) to confess. 

I mean poor boy with his insecurities, you were a popular and well known girl for your outgoing personality and amazing socializing skills. While Tim is the opposite.

And he has a fear that you would reject him, shattering the friendship he has with you, or you won’t like him back and things would be very awkward between you both.

But his brothers believe-wait. No. They know you return the feelings for Tim.Or as Dick would say,

“Opposites attract.”

Adding onto the list of why Tim believes he doesn’t deserve you.

You being in danger because of him. 

Tim never wants to see you suffering under the hands of a villain in Gotham. Never wants you as a target for his enemies. He would keep his distance with you but it would only end up with you running to him. To stay close to him.

“How rude, its Prom night and I wasn’t invited~” The boat stopped in place unexpectedly, and vines grew out of the water and tied onto the edges.

Oh no...

Screams were heard. Tim grabbed onto your hand pulling you away from the scene. He placed you inside along with others, but as he was about to enter inside, he slammed the door shut and ran off outside where the danger lingered.

“Tim!” You yelled trying to pry the door open but instead it was locked.

The sound of a shattering window and screams were heard. The crowd back away from the green villain. Poison Ivy.

“So pathetic. You all partying not realizing you’re killing the environment. As punishment, I’m going to tear this ship apart.”

You had the guts to confront her and give her one hell of a speech for her to leave. Because you being the loud, extroverted, outgoing person you are, you’re also the voice of your classmates. 

Oh! And you roasted her. Very well that the crowd letting out oohs. 

She was so embarrassed and furious that she launched a vine to your throat and raising you up. More screams. Your friends call out for you and some holding each other back. Poison Ivy then grabbed a hold of more students by their necks.

She enjoys the panicked looks on the young adults’ expressions. Her vines start to move towards the engine room while you and a few others here hanging from vines around your neck. Choking you. You began to feel dizzy and your eyelids growing heavy. 

Suddenly small blades with the shape of bats, sliced through the vines holding up the hostages but Poison Ivy was fast enough to deflect the last one. Before it could cut you free.

“Let. Her. Go.” A hard voice demands. The redhead whipped her head to the shadows. She squinted her eyes to have a better look but instead her face met with a bo-staff. Enough strength to make her see stars and be distracted for a couple of minutes for the least.

“LET.” He was fast, launching batarangs at her large deadly flytrap.

“HER.” He rose his bo-staff once more.

“GO!” With enough strength, he whipped his bo-staff once more at the vine holding you, freeing you, then catching your body in his arms. 

“Run!”He kicked the exit open and everyone fled out. Since you were up close to the hero known as Red Robin, you were washed with Deja Vu’s. How he yelled, his jawline, his muscular figure was so familiar to you.

 He wrapped his cape over you and pressed a small device activating the minutature bombs as everyone was out of the room. 

Poison Ivy was down, boats came to aid the students back to land, you kept asking the vigilante if Tim was alright, he assured you that Tim is safe and sound. 

But as you were about to leave home in one of the limos, Tim didn’t feel secure about it, he was worried (Paranoid) that you would cross danger again.

So he dropped you back to your apartment himself, swinging around in Gotham, you screaming at first at how high you both were, and worried if the grapple hook might snap.

Tim was laughing at your reaction while feeling relieved you were right next to him, making him realize you wouldn’t be safe without him around.

As the both of you landed on your balcony, you gave a sincere thanks and slightly fangirling that one of your favorite vigilantes helped you home. When Tim was chattering excessively trying to say goodbye to you, a switch was flipped inside of you. Knowing Red Robin’s identity.

“Tim?” 

Oh shit. Bruce is gonna kill him. He denies its him. It was a failure. 

“I know it’s you. Is this why you’ve been avoiding me? Because of this?” You pointed at his suit. He sighed taking off his mask. Then he tells his side of the story. Sure you being the loudest one in the friendship, you actually stayed silent and listen. It was a big switch of role.

“...You protect me in school and I want to protect you from the villains of Gotham because I love yo-shiiit” He turned very red. You were shocked of course. You always thought he never return your feelings. But he did. And it felt like a dream when he said those three words.

He felt sad. Why? You were silent, but you’re always loud, stuck in your thoughts while Tim is breaking inside thinking you don’t feel the same way. As he took a shaky breath and put on his mask to leave (and hide the tears) but you stopped him.

“Timothy Jackson Drake, stop right there.” What were you going to do? Break his heart even more? You grabbed the straps that crossed his chest and pulled him close to you. 

“Y/n-”

“I love you too, you dork.” His eyes widen and gleamed. His heart started to beat faster. So was yours. He smiled and you yelp as he pulled you closer by the waist. Inching closer and closer-

Right on cue his com started ringing interrupting the moment. Tim let out a nervous chuckle before answering it. Bruce needs his assistance at Iceberg’s lounge and it’s urgent. He mentally cursed that he has to leave you after you both just confessed to each other. He wanted to stay by you. But he has to go. He got on the railing, slightly sulking to leave you.

“I’ll...see you later I guess-And you’re welcome to visit the manor tomo-”

“Com’ere.” You pulled his collar and your lips smashed onto his. A spark of electricity ran through him causing him to melt into the kiss. It was warm...soothing...and addicting. His hand traveling behind your neck to pull you closer. He was so distracted that he didn’t realize his foot was sliding from the railing.

After a couple of seconds of Heaven, he pulled away abruptly because he was falling back. You leaned over to see if he was alright, but soon he grapple hooked onto a building yelling, “WHOOOOO!!”

You smiled goofily while watching him running on the rooftops hollering in triumph, soon receiving a buzz from your pocket in your dress. 

Pulling out your phone, finding a text from Tim, ‘See you at dinner tomorrow! <3’

[zutaras-where-its-at]

Can you do 46 “I thought you were dead” please?

Okay, I got very carried away and this became a threeshot. But I’m only posting the first part for now, lol. Also, I know I should be writing stuff for Zutara Week, but I really wanted to get all these drabble prompts finished first before starting anything else so looks like I won’t be contributing anything original this year lmao. My bad.

[based off this tweet because it made me laugh so hard that i got a plot idea // aka katara goes ghost]

xxximstillonmobileandiknowisuckfornotknowinghowtoaddareadmorelinebutpleaseforgivemexxx

His friends think he’s insane for accepting the job offer at Caldera Memorial Cemetery to clean the graveyards in the middle of night while the establishment is closed.

On his first night, Azula had handed him a black, engraved hunting knife (that he never wants to know the backstory of) and laughed as she wished him good luck. Even Iroh gave him a serious look and warning to be careful, but Zuko knows his Uncle only worries because of his unusual and creative beliefs about the supernatural world.

Zuko suffers no such ideology and therefore accepts the position because it promises to pay off his rent in a way that half-baked superstitions cannot.

On the third day of his second week on the job, Zuko wishes he had paid more attention to Uncle’s fanciful stories.

He’s in the middle of raking a pile of leaves out of the walkways under the light of a full moon and a service lantern his boss had provided him, when she appears.

“Why don’t you just use a leaf blower?”

Zuko isn’t proud of the high-pitched “fucking shit” that tears its way out of his throat and into the still night air. He whirls around, hefting the rake like a sword, and his wide eyes meet the calm, if not amused, pale blue gaze of a girl standing behind him.

He seethes and winds himself up to tell her off for trespassing on private property in the middle of the night when something unusual catches his attention.

The tips of her long, wavy hair seem to almost float in a nonexistent breeze, and the ends of her shoulders, fingertips, and feet simply faze in and out of sight.

“What the hell.”

She laughs a little and tilts her head to the side. “What? Never seen a ghost before?”

His jaw unhinges, and a chill sweeps through the length of his spine. Stubbornly, he blinks hard, attempting to rid himself of this frighteningly realistic mirage.

The girl rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. “I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I am real. No amount of trying to convince yourself otherwise is going to get rid of me.”

Zuko stares unabashedly for a few moments before making the split second decision to rally whatever is left of his pride, and face this situation head on. She doesn’t look like a threatening ghost, after all.

“You can’t be a ghost.” Her eyebrow raises incredulously, but he plows through. “If you were really a ghost, then why are you the only one here? Why aren’t there any others?”

An almost frustrated look overcomes her and she huffs. Zuko notices that he can see his breath in the cold night air, but hers leaves no trace.

“There are others. Lots of them. But for some reason, none of the other spirits can see you except for me. And I don’t think any living people can see me except for you.”

He doesn’t know quite what to say to that, and can’t help the perfunctory look that he gives to the rest of the empty cemetery, before looking back at her.

He hadn’t realized it before, but she’s dressed in surprisingly modern and stylish clothes. Her yellow sundress with little white daisies scattered across the fabric is at odds with the cool fall air and the bright moon above them. Zuko almost does a double take at the red stain stretching from one side of her torso to the other.

“What’s that?”

She blinks in confusion before following his eyes to her stomach. Her figure goes slightly rigid, and she looks back up at him with a resigned expression. “I think that’s how I died. I don’t really remember much, but I know I was in the car with Sokka—my brother—and someone ran a red and hit us at the intersection. And then... Well, I woke up at the hospital, but the entire building was empty except for all these other spirits who had also just died. I didn’t know what else to do, so I followed them here. You’re the first live person I’ve been able to see.”

Zuko wrings his hands around the handle of the rake he’s still holding. “And how long have you been here?”

At this, the girl groans and rubs violently at her eyes with the heel of her palms. “Weeks. I’ve been here for weeks now, which is way longer than any other spirit I’ve ever met. But whatever I do,” her breath hitches here, “I just can’t pass on.”

Something aches in him, because he knows what it feels like to be left behind—to feel like you’re always sprinting just to catch up.

“How long do the others stay for?”

“All the other spirits—they only stay here for a few days at most, usually just to make peace with their death, and then they disappear.” She sits heavily on am ornate headstone beside her, and he’s fascinated by how it makes her seem that much more tangible. “But I’ve done everything I can to prepare myself for the passing. I went and visited my home to say goodbye. I went back to the hospital room that I had first woken up in over and over again until it didn’t hurt anymore to be there. I—I even sat at my mother’s grave for days and hoped that she would come to take me to whatever the hell comes next... but...”

She chokes off and Zuko watches a glimmering tear drop from her lashes and promptly dissipate before it even hits the ground.

“None of the other spirits will even talk to me. I know they can hear and see me, but every time I try to approach one, they just look the other way and move on.”

The dejection in her voice assuages the last of Zuko’s uneasiness, and he feels his sympathy pulling towards this strange ghost girl.

“I’m sorry.” He hesitates for fraction of a second before continuing. “I—I also know what it’s like to feel alone.”

She lifts her chin, a hopeful look brightening her face.

Zuko sighs. “A lot of people tend to get scared off by—well, I mean,” he gestures half-heartedly to the deep red scar marring his otherwise normal features.

Understanding bleeds across her expression and she stands to walk closer to him. The air around him drops in temperature with every step she takes, but he suppresses his shiver and holds his ground.

Her hand raises slowly, giving him enough time to reject her advancements, but Zuko just closes his eyes and stifles a gasp as the faint impression of ice cold fingertips graze the edge of his scar. He would almost swear in that moment that she’s a live person standing before him, caressing the ruined skin of his face.

“I’m sorry.” There is pity in her voice, but there is also pain, and somehow he knows that she does not think less of him for his mark of weakness. “If it helps, I think it makes you look badass.”

He opens his eyes to squint at her, a lopsided grin stretching over his lips to match her soft smile. “Really?”

She nods sagely, her not-quite-opaque eyes glittering with mirth. “Oh, for sure. Definitely gives you a devil-may-care vibe that every chick secretly digs.”

A huff of laughter escapes him, and he suddenly remembers that he is supposed to be doing a job and—perhaps slightly more importantly—that he is allowing himself to be distracted from said job by an oddly extroverted ghost girl.

Uncle would have a field day.

She seems to notice his hesitancy and drops her hand, backing up from him. The laughter still lingers in her eyes, but she just shakes her head and smiles. “I’m Katara, by the way.”

“Zuko.”

“Thank you, Zuko. For not being scared, and for letting me vent to you about my post-death conundrum.”

“I wish I could have helped you.”

Katara grins. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. It doesn’t seem like you have a whole lot of experience in this department, and I can’t begrudge you the fact that you’ve never died.”

Zuko nearly laughs, but settles for an only slightly awkward smile. “Well, let me know if there’s, uh, anything I can do for you. You know, for my next shift.”

She bites her lip, apparently racking her brain for something within his scope of ability, before perking up. “Actually, if you could bring a speaker and play the new Elementals album for me, that would be incredible. It was supposed to drop a week or two ago, and they’re my favorite band. I’ve been dying to listen to it.”

“I thought you were dead.”

The joke slips out before he can think twice, and Zuko winces. Azula has told him before that his comedic delivery is dry at best and insulting at worst, and he isn’t trying to cause unnecessary pain to this already suffering spirit.

But Katara only snickers and stifles a groan that somehow comes across as wistful. “You would get along way too well with my brother. And besides, it seems like I may only be half-dead.”

With that, she gives him a final parting smile and simply ceases to exist.

Zuko stares blankly for a few minutes at the patch of undisturbed grass she had been standing in and wonders why all the weird things always happen to him.

[ace2light]

💕

Let’s just talk about poon.

It all started back in korea where people could tell he had interest in me, I couldn’t tell at all. This was how block headed I am. Even Ashley could tell which surprises me because I don’t really talk to him in class. Jiawen was the first one to tell me, I shrugged it off by saying ‘how could it be possible? I am so much older, not feminine, not pretty, not nice figure, so quiet.’ I thought it was because I happened to know xingxi and I went out with the guys in room 423 because jiawen was injured. That’s why we all became friends. I was awkward af then, cos all guys. The only person I ain’t awkward with was xingxi. I got to know poon from here. I didn’t talk much to him initially, I don’t normally talk to people unless orientation because I am anti-social and don’t know how to initiate conversation. Hahaha, I always remember the subtle and small things, my memory isn’t that bad afterall. I am surprised by myself too.

There was once, we were all at the supermarket buying stuff, the guys didn’t take the basket, I took the basket, everyone put their stuff with me, end up the basket was a little too heavy for me to carry. Then poon offered to help. I don’t remember how many times he offered to help and carry it, but I clearly remember he did, that move, I plainly thought he was being nice and gentleman.

Then as the time passes in korea, I started talking to him more as I was more comfortable speaking to him now. He always pat my head, it was the first time someone actually asked for my permission to pat my head, I am surprised lol. Everyone just loves to pat my head because I am short. Regardless, I always like it when people pat my head so nothing surprising. It makes me feel I am being taken care of. As the only child, I always yearns for that. One thing that shocked me was I knew he took photos of me without me knowing in Korea, because his roommate, my close friend took a snap of the photos he uploading on this computer to me. I knew long ago, I had my suspicions when I saw those photo taken, I didn’t trust that someone would actually take photo of me, cos I ain’t pretty. But I didn’t think about it after that.

Then, we started texting abit in korea, which I find it pretty weird, I don’t normally text or call people whom I just know, which explains my replies were either short or late reply to him then. Oops sorry. I just feel that he is friendly so I just reply out of courtesy. I just feel that he is another sean then, pretty touchy. I did tried to avoid abit then. I am still very scared of physical contact due to 2 harassment and 1 uncomfortable encounter with my uncle. I tend to avoid touchy people, especially those that I just met.

Then somehow somewhat, we end up at the rooftop and swing alone, it was then I get to talk more to you, get to know more about you. Normally in a group, I seldom talk because I don’t want to overpower voices so I tend to just listen. I also don’t like to cut conversations, and I don’t know how to enter conversations too. I tend to make more connections with people when I am alone with them. Honestly, I thought poon is an extrovert based on how he carries himself in front of me so I was surprised when he told me he is an introvert. In my opinion, he don’t look like an introvert, I thought he always put on his earpiece because he loves to listen to music/ watch videos.

On the last night, jiawen, poon and me mainly stayed on the rooftop almost the entire night, to play with his camera and to slack. Then jiawen was telling me, why would someone keep trying to write my name.

The last day, we were packing our stuff, jiawen and me finished packing already, we wanted to catch some sleep after packing because I only slept for 3h plus before I started roaming around in school on my own when jiawen is sleeping. When I was about to sleep, poon suddenly appear in our room, I thought he wanted to grab something or borrow something, but he just came to slack lol. I wanted to sleep but he was there, I was randomly meddling with my ipad because he was there I can’t really sleep in his presence, it took me some days to get used to jiawen being in my room, needless to say him whom is a just a friend then and he is a guy. I was sitting on the table in the room, he decided to piggy back me, it was the first time I was piggy back by a guy. I think I almost choked him, Cos my arms are strangling him in a way as I avoided my chest touching his back. I am still aware of the physical contact with him.

Then in airport, we went to eat as a group, people started teasing him and me together. I plainly thought it was for fun so I didn’t say much. I was so tired when we were at the airport Cos I didn’t have much sleep the previous night. I literally lost my energy to be enthu and joke around, I just nua on the chair while waiting to board the plane. He offered to lend me his cap to cover the light off Cos I wanted to sleep. I borrowed his cap till I reached Singapore. Sitting beside him was purely coincidental and a bit of on purpose. Lol. I rather sit with someone I close with than a school mate, so I decided to sit beside him on a plane. I was shocked when the hand rest was pulled up, but then I realised he wanted to put his camera there so hahaha. Then after a while, he decided to offer me his shoulder. I am very scared of take off and take down, so I tend to keep chewing sweets, I have no idea how many packs of sweets I chewed before take off. If I am a frequent plane taker, I prolly would be suffering from diabetes. But anyways, I shrugged off his offer by saying we eat first. I was so awkward, Cos in my opinion, I thought only Boyfriend’s or husband’s or mum’s does that. So I was a little reluctant because of the high degree of awkwardness. Then I was fidgeting so much, then he asked again, Cos I usually sit inside, I always lean to the window but I am sitting outside, I can’t lean. So I gave up and lie on his shoulder awkwardly. It was nice for my neck, I didn’t know it was so comfortable. But my back is breaking Cos I was avoiding as much physical contact with him. There was a pillow between us on off. Towards the end, I felt that his head was on my head, I can’t confirm it until jiawen told me. But then, I pretend I didn’t know to avoid more awkwardness. To be honest, I managed to rest, I didn’t sleep at all that night. I was still scarred by the harassment, so I tend to be awake in front of others and it is near impossible for me to fall asleep in front of others unless I didn’t sleep for 2/3 days.

After we returned to Singapore, I am surprised we are still texting each other cos I thought, the texting would probably stop but it went on, and texting each other more. I totally forgotten to take my portable from him at the airport. He wanted to meet a day after we arrived in Singapore, but I am too tired and lazy to get out of my house. I felt bad to reject, so I said the next day, and I normally don’t want people to specially deliver my stuff from elsewhere to near my house, so I suggested accompany me to watch a movie, I thought as a close friend mah, no other hidden meanings. It was indeed awkward but the awkwardness slowly diminished. As the movie was ‘cringe’ to him, he kept leaning towards my shoulder on and off. Then dinner, I obviously heard what he said but I wasn’t sure. I said sth friend he said girlfriend then I just told him don’t anyhow say ah.

I have no idea how we end up meeting each other frequently also. Meeting in clubroom to watch anime and do a bit of report. I shouldn’t be allowing outsiders into clubroom but who cares. Then we both went for a walk in a ‘forest’ near school, it was damn dark, I was super scared. It was the first time I held on to a guy’s hand, cos I am too scared. I didn’t really dare to grab it as much cos holding hands are for couples, we are just close friends, i was awkward but then I was scared so I rather feel a bit less scared than care about the awkwardness in the dark forest. After we came out of the forest and there’s light, we still continued to hold hands lol. That was when the real awkward came hahaha. Got once he fling my hand off, I was a bit sad then but who am I to hold his hand also.

Certain texts are cringe, initially I thought it was for fun, after a while, I don’t think so already. That’s why I decided to ask him. I don’t know why I kept asking him to accompany me out ever since we touch down in Singapore. Just instinct bah. All these things I’ve shared with my besties cos being a blockhead like me, I don’t get it de, I might feel it but always deny it because of my low self-esteem.

I just randomly asked him to accompany me to the beach to dig out a can I buried. I honestly did buried a can but I couldn’t find it. I also don’t know why I asked him then. I just felt like it. Lol. We drank a can of cider and was just chilling and chit chatting on the beach. Tbh, I totally forgotten what I said then, I only rmb what I did, I rmb holding his hand, and I know I didn’t want to let go also. Cos he usually put his arms around me, but he didn’t put as much this time, I was a little sad. Hahaha.

The way we got together was also very cute lol. I am already sober now. I was randomly sharing with him how much physical contact I dislike cos he said ‘why did he bring me here’. It seems like it was not a happy memory for him cos he found out a girl actually had a boyfriend there. Then I want him to be happy so I decided to ask him the question I had been so curious about. I wouldn’t have asked that question if I not really sure about it. I just wanna confirmed it. Then somehow somewhat it became getting together. Was quite sad he didn’t explicitly say ‘do you want to be my girlfriend?’ Cannot blame him as it was his first time also and prolly came in unexpected. As it was my first time also, I am so scared I accepted him based on infatuation, but then I asked my besties before I asked him whether or not I like him. They all said yes. But I wasn’t sure myself, I only knew I was comfortable with him, I can say whatever that is on my mind, like those normal ones, cos sometimes normal stuff I also don’t say it out to friends. Then after a few weeks, I finally realised and confirmed I really like him. That’s when I finally told him after he constantly asked me to say what I wanted to say, ‘I like him’ to him after the camp. Cos the camp made me extremely stressed, my mood became better when he appear and we hug, instantly became better. The warmth and support and the listening ear he provided really helps a lot. Then before that, jiawen and me spoke almost the entire night, and confirmed I like him.

Then I still didn’t dare to say ‘I love you’. To me, love is a big and ambiguous word. So I wouldn’t say it unless he’s the one. And yes, I said it, which also means I am admitting he is the one. Although he is very far from my ideal type of partner in life, but ideal and reality is different ah. As long as I am comfortable with him, and the feeling is right, these are all that matters to me.

Initially I didn’t dare to say a lot cringe stuff, or be crazy, I filter out a lot of things as I scared he would misunderstand certain meanings like sex. After telling him, I didn’t want, I became more daring to say whatever I want. After telling him what I really wanted and don’t want, I was so scared then, it was like my real thoughts exposed, never had I like my thoughts and true feelings exposed like that, now I am daring and filtering less and less of my words and my actions, at most it is just me being embarrassed and shy.

Although he is younger than me, there are certain things that he seems to be more mature than me, like relationship with things and people. He guided me when I was lost as to what to do, he listened to my rants, showered me with warmth and support whenever I am not happy. I ain’t a person who easily cries in front of others, it is very hard, I have many layers of personality within me. To me, crying is a weakness. I don’t like to show my weakness out. I think he reached the inner layer, cos for me to cry in front of people is extremely hard, given how well I hide myself. His existence is a huge relief to me, whenever i am feeling down, meeting him and either him hugging me or me hugging him is a huge comfort to me, little did i know I would rely so much on a person, it is the first time i actually rely so much. I always have trust issues with people, i never actually let people know about how i feel about them, cos to me, they don’t have to know what i feel, it is not important and doesn’t matter anyways.

After i sent him a long essay about what i felt, i am extremely comfortable with him. He is very handsome and looks smart when he is doing his work, hehe. I always remembered the time he was unhappy when I self-harm, I didn’t know i am so important to someone. I always felt i am not important due to my family. He was the one who gave me the power to stop self harming, each time i almost do it, i think of him, then i stopped. He is very important in my life. I am so used to him now. I love to cuddle, I always like to hug things, now i am slowly hugging him on my own accord cos i am comfortable now. I am also daring to say more and more stuff on my mind although i am still very shy. Hugging him or him hugging me instantly changes my mood, provides me with security, warmth and comfort. Him asking about my day makes me feel there’s always someone there for me. I can find him anytime, i can go to him anytime. It’s like there’s never enough time to spend with him.

However, i still have trouble trying to fall asleep totally in front of him. Well, i have issues sleeping anywhere apart from my own bed so hahaha. I managed to fall into short stint of light sleep already very good le. I like it when he cuddles me regardless of how was it done. I like it when i am being treated like a kid when i am obviously older than him. I like it when he says i am cute, this is really thick-skinned. I like it when he calls me ‘dear’ or ‘darling’, but i still feel it is selfish of me still being extremely shy to call him ‘poon’, i already tried my best. I am a very shy girl. I actually like it when he says cringe stuff, hehe. He prolly don’t know. I don’t mind him being possessive with me at all, I like it anyways. There are times I wanted to let the whole world knows he is my boyfriend, but for the interest of us, I stopped and resisted. I like whenever he says ‘anything for you’, awww, heart melted. I like it when he gives me stuff, whichever the gift is, as long as it is from him, i like it all and I would treasure it. Before i said to stop all those sexual stuff, i am actually surprised he could control himself, that’s what make me trust him so much. I like the fact he respected me. He is literally my pillar now. I listen to him a lot. I never thought i would get so close with someone, including Boyfriend. I like his straightforwardness cos I don’t really have to guess certain stuff.

I am always afraid he got scolded by his parents because of me, i dont want that to happen. So there are certain times, I didn’t dare to ask a lot from him, i tend to try to handle things on my own, also I didn’t want him to be overwhelmed by my problems. I don’t want him to be burdened by me. There are times I wanna just spam him but I resisted it cos I scared I annoy him.

Through these 2 months plus, i really felt a lot of love from him, especially after telling him what i wanted in a relationship. I understand how horny he can get so i only allowed him to touch my boobs, that’s the leeway i gave him. Really hope we can last, i love you truckloads, poon poon darling. Thank you for appearing in my life and become my Boyfriend, i never regretted the stuff we did also. I really hope he would be my one and only Boyfriend.

He prolly didn’t know, the place we got tgt is the my favourite place now. He prolly not the most romantic guy but he is definitely the most caring person for me, for a person who is so wounded.