#i am still sort of iffy on it but im told that thats how you make friendships more friendshipy sk

[halfdeadwallfly]

hahahahhahha guess what. i asked my friends if they wanna hang out w me:))) fr fr fr fr

[flecks-of-stardust]

Okay sorry im sendi g an ask but the character limit worries me so im doin this here! Trigger and squicks list for bugsnax is as follows:

-alcohol-esque drinks are mentioned and consumed several times

-unnatural changes to bodyparts occur

-this is more a squick but theres a fair bit of romance, idk im aro and you have the flag so idk how much it bugs you but theres three relatively healthy relationships (two are queer if that means anything) and then one thats sorta uncomfortable and iffy

-bullying of other characters (just in case)

-paranoia, theres a character who is very paranoid and afraid and he discusses these things with the player, if you have problems with intrusive thoughts or fear that someone is watching you, this could trigger that

-theres some yelling, notably from a man in the game which may bug some people. Its not super serious and hes got a goofy accent but be warned

-a woman also yells at you in a gruff voice and hits stuff early in the game, though she doesnt appear again, just in case

-there is cannibalism in this game, though not depicted on screen it is mentioned snd the effects of it can be seen

-unsanitary warning, i think thia is minor but im trying to be comprehensive, the characters can sometimes be seen running to the bathroom in game and there is a sidequest where you collect someones poop, not explicit and its all in like a little bag and everything but still a bit icky, and your character is implied to have thrown up at one point, though not shown.

-theres lots of mention of death as a whole and lots of remonders of it. If death scares you, or existential questions and that sorta thing bug you, theres a character that can be found whos sidequest really ventures into that and it could be rough

-sort of melancholy ending no matter what

Overall the game is definitely aimed at kids, but there is darker stuff and its pretty prominent. Sorry for being thorough about this, but im thoroughly hyperfixated on this game and also want more people to enjoy it while being safe!! I hope you do get into it and enjoy it, and even if you dont drop 20 bucks on it, theres a couple people who have streamed playthroughs. Theres also a free dlc coming out in a bit so if that sweetens the deal then go wild.

Sorry to bug you! Have a nice day!!

OH also a couple minor sexual innuendos!

no no this is great, thank you so much!! i really appreciate it! and this is really helpful tbh. im very grateful you thought to mention the unsanitary stuff, because i have fairly severe emetophobia and info like that is really useful to me. i also appreciate you warning me about the romance; for the record, i Am romance-averse to an extent, but unless the romance is front and center itll probably be okay.

it sounds like it might be the paranoid character who might pose the biggest problem, tbh, cause fuckin same. my paranoia is wild and that's the biggest reason im worried about playing any games heavy in psych horror, though cartoony graphics and silly themes help cushion it (and ive been told bugsnax is heavy on the silly). im willing to try it, at the very least!

im still guilty about never finishing one shot but holy hell that game Fucks with me hard, with how meta it is and how anxiety inducing it is to quit out of the game. maybe ill watch a playthrough of that at some point,,

[thevalleyoftriumph]

someone asked Duckie this but I personally would like a second opinion from someone whos equally into the fandom as they are. Is ponythe-ytgem a bad person?

im gonna answer this similarly to duckie [also duckie if u see this hi bro hope ur havin a nice day] and also under a cut cos i can ramble a lot

while the term “bad person” is a suggective term that can have very different meanings depending on who you ask, im just going to assume you mean “just a generaly dislikable person for any reason in particular” as most often do

tl:dr, i dont think shes a bad person, per say, and am cutting her a lot of slack due to being young, but i do think she should express her opinions differently and should also get new friends because wow that crowd is so toxic i need a hazmat suit to get close to it.

ok onto the longer portion.

hold on im cold lemme get a blanket

ok there we go back on topic

i dont really know much abt her aside from what i saw from an incident a while back, plus some other things i saw floating around my dash via word of mouth and some longass game of telephone with my own occasional check at her blog. her most major thing seems to have been some encounter with kiingcorrobo [i genuinely cant remember how the blog is spelled so im sorry :pensive:] and her thing abt seamoon. lets talk about seamoon first, then well talk abt the other stuff.

anyway while im personally a little more biased to dislike her [she did apologize for what she did however so ill try not to let this cloud my judgement overall] and because shes a minor like i am [and if i remember correctly around my age? maybe older but im unsure and i dont feel like goin to her blog rn] im not going to be as harsh as i usually would be when dealing with just some random person on the internet whos an adult. because children wouldnt know better either way.

anyway i do personally believe that her opinions abt seamoon are valid but she could possibly go a better way about it.

her whole issue with seamoon is. fine. i get it, you dislike a ship due to personal reasons, you dont owe anyone an explanation aside from “i just dont like it” and as long as youre not a dick over it, i dont see the issue.

i do think she could go about it differently [she once said there was no proof? i think? dont quote me on that my memory is bad] and that it could just be “ohh a best friend stare” despite how heavily its hinted at [i remember that one a lot better cos it got me a little miffed ngl] and like. ok. fine. just acknowledge that its very strongly hinted at and then go on your way, you dont need to insist its not real.

HOWEVER. 

i have repeatedly seen people get angry and violent with her over this. yes, she definately could have gone about expressing her opinions better. yes, she shouldnt disreguard any sort of wlw rep or coding because she doesnt like it for whatever reason. ill admit that much.

but that does not, ever, at all, make it okay for people to have treated her, a CHILD, presumably, the way they have.

people are entitled to their own opinions as long as it isnt harming anyone! and if someones opinions seem a little off, you dont immediately attack them, especially if theyre someone thats young and probably dont know the full extent of what theyre thinking. you tell them what theyre doing and why its wrong or just iffy in general, and help them grow from that. we are human, humans naturally grow to better themselves when given the chance, and if theyre never given a chance to grow from the past, then they cant ever grow up. if you want her to grow up, then give her a fucking chance. 

now. lets talk abt the kiingcorobo thing.

from what i know; someone told kiingcorobo that she supported whitewashing and was homophobic, i believe.

now, im not a person of color so i am not really inclined to talk abt whitewashing, all i can say is that its terrible and fuck anyone who does it, like honestly if you whitewash u have. no rights.

so i cant talk abt this topic much aside from; whitewashing is terrible, dont do it, but i personally have no idea when she [pony] mentioned it at all and honestly im not too willing to go searching thru her blog fo hm. actually no im pretty hung up on this brb

ok no she hasnt mentioned it as far as i can tell. so im unsure on those claims and im more inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt, being a minor and all, and while minors are not autmoatically excused from doin bad shit that just means they still have a chance to better grow from that, so. yea.

anyway onto the topic im actually able to talk abt. the homophobic comment.

lgbt people can be homophobic! wow! doesnt matter if its internalized or youre just genuinely an asshole, lgbt ppl can in fact be homophobic. bi/pan ppl, gay ppl, trans ppl, no one group of the community is completely pure from that. thats just a fact.

however, due to the issues shes had in the past with the seamoon thing, i do think ppl are just taking that as her one defining personality trait. theyre probably seeing that n twisting it wayyy outta proportion.

thats my general thoughts on her and wow this is way longer than i had originally hoped and this reads more as an analysis of her as a person rather than my general thoughts but. eh what can you do.

oh but i do think she could get better friends lmao, shes in such a toxic crowd and for someone so young i feel genuinely so bad for her. 

[paleconda]

blog- 9th february.

i- as an american doing pretty damn well job of pulling off as british- do not like to do american-like things. such having having wet and cringe humour, being unnecessarily loud, being blatantly ignorant on world culture/affairs (no offence), and especially opening myself up. one thing i’ve noticed is that brits always keep to themselves and rarely discuss thier deep feelings and thoughts with other people. they’re not very open to tel you their life story, and i’m the same way.not to say that i’m not down to earth, bc i very much am. i just stay quaint when it comes to public situations. that being said, my journey and story on my sexuality is very personal, deep and complicated, and unfortunately, i feel like i have to go into massive detail on what’s all happened and how it’s impacted me. it’ll make me vulnerable, but easier to understand and empathise with. this is going to be a particularly long read tho.

the date is 07/07/2010. it was the summer before the 7th grade and i had just realised my sexuality only a few months earlier. the worst night of my life. the night my parents found out about my sexuality. i was only 12. but the way the found out was rather quite stupid and embarrassing (no i wasn’t wanking and it wasn’t porn). at the time, i didn't have a phone. and my favourite show would come on at 1 am. but i didn't feel like staying up late, so what i did was borrow my grandmas phone and set an alarm. well in the alarm it had an option for a message. well my dumbass self put “get the hell up you bisexual fucker”. yeah. well, when my grandma went to puerto rico for a funeral, she left her phone bc she wouldn’t have any service over there. and i had forgotten to take off that alarm. so my mom is just going thru the phone (idk why) and she happens to come across it. she calls me downstairs and confronts me about it. after about 10 minutes what seems like an interrogation ( and me not talking, i felt as tho i had no choice but to admit it). they started crying and told me how its never okay even if the world says it is, and they brought up sodom and gomorrah and told me i needed to have a long prayer. my relationship with them hasn't never really been the same since then. so after that, i kinda ignored thinking about my sexuality. i would just go thru my day, occasionally look at gay pictures at night, then go to sleep. then, toward the end of 7th grade, i ended up taking nudes and sending them on http://showyourdick.com (terrible, i know) and they. ended. up. seeing. the. pics. it made things a shit tonne worse. i was still closeted at school, i had been accused of being gay as early as 4th grade, before i even knew i was gay (im actually bi/pan, but lets just use the word gay for now). fast foward to the beginning of 9th grade (late 2012). i had already been stanning nicki for almost a year, but i was still closeted. i also had a tumblr account(not this one). not only did i still kinda feel bad about being gay, but i was terribly insecure as well. i ended up starting to cut myself around late September. but for a while it was only on my thighs bc i didnt want anyone to see. later, in january 2013, i was feeling really depressed one night, and i kinda went on a cutting tirade. (trigger warning) i even cut my arm. i remember feeling the warm blood running down my leg and feeling dizzy, with my ears fogging up and nearly passing out in the bathroom. this next part may sound wierd. maybe its just me, maybe it was the fogging in my ears, idk. but i remember hearing nickis voice, almost aloud, and she said Stop. crazy init.  the next morning, i got really scared, bc my sleeve wouldn't completely cover up the scars. well, one of my teachers saw (i still dont know who) and reported it to the office, and one of the guidance counselors called my parents and told them. another really bad day. the next day, my guidance counselor called me down, even the principle came in the room. they told me they were sending me to a place where i would have therapy. i agreed to it, but i wasnt aware that i would be forced to spend 3 nights there. its called being Baker Acted.  the deputy at my school called my mom and told her where they were taking me but they didn't tell her i was required by law to spend 72 consecutive hours there. so when she came to pick me up that night, thats when she found out. needless to say she was crying. alot. and as if it wasn't bad enough, it just so happened to be her wedding anniversary.  i end up relapsing 2 more times after that whole ordeal. the last time was march 9th, 2013. so things temporarily improve for the summer. i ended up (finally) coming out to my closest friends. but i never made a big deal out of it. like i never made a big post on facebook or IG or anything. I kinda just let people figure it out and have their own assumptions. so september rolls around and i end up getting depressed again (september is always a bad month for me) but i promised myself i wouldnt cut myself again. so i end up overdosing. alot. 7 pills at a time. (it was just vyvanse tho, its not like it was percs or oxycodone.) so my parents went thru my texts and they found out about what i was doing and thats when the trust begins to deterioate again. they would always take away my phone at night. they said its bc of some report they saw on the news where having your phone in your room while your sleeping is unhealthy (which.. they were right. but it’s ovbious that wasn’t the real reason they took it.) it was bloody annoying. but back then, they would only take it on school nights, and sometimes i would sneak it back, and although they got mad, they wouldn't really do anything about it. also, as you could’ve probably guessed, i had downloaded a couple of gay apps because i was curious. the first time i downloaded grindr, i was in the 8th grade. and it wasn't the only app i would download. there was also hornet and jack’d. well, theres this one guy who i ended up talking to. and i end up sending nudes to him on kik. and my parents end up going through my kik. this was in december 2013. my horny self was just tryna hookup. welp. they see the messages. things go downfuckinghill fast. they barge into my room, one second they're yelling at me shoving the screen in my face and then the next thing I know my dad is shoves me down and kicks me multiple times, and my mom ends up calling the police and filing a report. to say it was traumatising is an understatement. but because it's kik, theres not much they can do. this renders me phoneless all the way until june of 2015. and at this point i wanna take a little bit of a detour. bc i almost feel as though my life as a normal teenager has been robbed.

some of you may ask why i didn’t move in with relatives or just file a report to social services.

they wouldn't let me. and bc they're broke and aren't good at finances, that's what they (we’re) doing anyway. my family is living with my grandparents for like the 4th time since i was born. so they change the password in my phone and im only allowed to use it when they say (this is february 2014, roughly) and i have to be in the same room as them. and then in march, something goes wrong with my phone and it wont read the SIM card. so now i can't even call or text.  things just didn’t get better that year. its summer 2014, and now they suddenly change the password to my laptop. (they still won't tell me the password). i started crying and begged them to change it back. so they did. but just a month later, on July 11th, they change it. and its stayed that way. so now its june of 2015. they buy me a new phone, but they said there are "rules for having the phone" and they take it away every night. well, in november, i had downloaded grindr. theres this feature on my phone where i can hide an app, but one day, back in november, i forgot to hide the app. so they saw it. and they didn't even open the app (it was password locked) and i refused to give them the password. so now im phoneless.... again. and this time they wouldn't even let me use it... at all. so i went back to having to use my grandmas phone and computer to log onto Twitter. for the longest time, i could only be on twitter from 4-8pm on weekdays bc thats whenever i had access. fast foward to april 2016 and im taking a college class across town. all of a sudden, my mom hands me my phone, and im shocked. she says im only having it on a "limited basis". so for about a month, im only allowed to use it outside the house, but they eventually let up. every once in a while, we still get into an argument about it.  may 2016: its time for me to choose what college to go to. my mom had made me apply to a christian university about 30 miles away. i didnt wanna go, but the other college i had been looking at had ran into financial trouble, the big public university in my city didn't accept me, and i didn't wanna go to a community college. plus, the christian university (southeastern University) offered me a bunch of money in scholarships. and i honestly felt forced to go. by august of 2016, things start to drastically change. most of it is in a good way, but there are still some things that are... iffy, for lack of a better term. i’m beginning to lose weight and my grades are actually good for once, but my phone is still taken way at night all the way to december, when they finally stop. then in january 2017, i am finally able to buy an iphone. at this point, everything sort of catches up to the previous post. there’s still loads for me to explain but this is enough for now.

on a side note, it’s amazing how different things are for me now after looking back at all that. i still can’t believe that we are in 2019 and that i graduated high school nearly 3 years ago. i’m gobsmacked at how much i have changed since then. it’s a lot to ponder on. and i’m glad to say that i’m currently at the happiest place i’ve been in for years. maybe ever.

end.

[caepaecaesurae]

Caefora Internal Dialogue #6

> Caefora: Accidentally talk about how much you don’t want to talk about your triggers with Dee, where Dee can see.  Daydream about punching yourself in the face.  Daydream about Nadaya punching you in the face.  Somehow arrange visit with Nadaya instead.  Profit???

sugary-empress >Way to go, genius! It's definitely the Cae side that was posting that nonsense and not thinking it through, the Condy side is too smart and also not impulsive at all. What do you do now, about the vent thing? caepaecaesurae > It was definitely the Condy side doing that, they both had access to Cae's imaginary computer, and they were one person anyway there's no way to get rid of the guilt here! sugary-empress Sure, they're one person, but the dumb stuff Isn't Condy. caepaecaesurae > ... ... It wvould be awvkwvard to delete it all suddenly, or change the password, and this is probably a better way for Dee to find out than actually talking to him about it INTENTIONALLY?  Like, it has the concerns about not murdering arlequin right there, and.. > Who cares who the dumb stuff is! > The dumb stuff doesn't exist, that was two minutes ago. sugary-empress >Good point! >Yeah, this is fine, actually. In fact, Condy totally meant for this to happen. It's a good thing she's here, pushing Cae into telling people about stuff so he can grow as a person. caepaecaesurae > ... You wonder if you should punch yourself in the face and take a picture, there'd be some marketshare for that, you're pretty sure. sugary-empress >That sounds painful, but also funny and potentially useful for friendship points. caepaecaesurae Who doesn't like a little pain as long as they are 100% completely in control? caepaecaesurae > ...you wish /Nadaya/ would punch you in the face. sugary-empress >Hot. You could probably make it happen. caepaecaesurae > So hot.  Would it be weird?  Would it be not okay? sugary-empress >It would be moderately weird but definitely okay. caepaecaesurae > Maybe you could broach the idea on the vent blog ??  But then, what if he shot the idea down sugary-empress >There is literally Nothing worse than rejection and being told no. You'll just need to be super attractive so he won't say no. Step one, complete! caepaecaesurae > Okay, but that doesn't alwvays wvork!  There's so many other steps. > You're Caefora right nowv, and as nice as he's being, he still sounded sort of iffy about that. > Unlike Arlequin and Ringleader who are perfect and amazing. sugary-empress >Uggggh. But you hate him and want to be punched in the face and maybe make out a little! This is so unfair. caepaecaesurae "so i'm t)(inking of punching myself in the face, on a scale of 1 to 10 howv likely is it that you wvould wvant to supervwise or )(elp" > and then don't be disappointed if the answer is between 0 and -10.  That's just a no, that's not like, OFFENSIVELY no, that's just how nadaya is!  -11 or worse is definitely personal though. sugary-empress >Add a winky face! >... Actually, don't do that, that's dumb. >You'll be Disappointed no matter what, if he says no! Nobody gets to say no to you. caepaecaesurae > Consent is Important. sugary-empress >Sure, sure. caepaecaesurae > Consent is Important, otherwise we're going to think about bad things for a minute. > You can't fool yourself, you want to be 100% on this one. sugary-empress >FINE, ugh! It's not like Cae's the only one with horrible things that happened when you didn't want them to happen! It's just, you LIKE Nadaya. Not in that way. But kind of in that way. And you don't WANT him to say no. >But you've got feelings now anyways, doing stuff people don't want you to just makes you feel bad. Like with Sal, and that whole kidnapping thing. caepaecaesurae > Those memories are just as valid for making the point as Cae's are.  Part of being better is knowing how to lie to and manipulate your/self/, until you act and think the way you want to be. sugary-empress >But that sounds hard... caepaecaesurae > ..do you still actually want to post that thing to see if Nadaya will come over?  Maybe he'd cuddle. sugary-empress >Yeah!!! caepaecaesurae > well... is it harder than having to struggle with the feelings that the self-lies solve? sugary-empress >... Maybe not. caepaecaesurae > oh no dee replied.  http://pleasegoawway.tumblr.com/post/158153481845/decreasinglycreativwe-actualmolotovcocktail > ..Removing the reply isn't important really, it's off the dashboard so it's totally dead to you now.  You just can't... reply to it. sugary-empress >So tell them that! caepaecaesurae > ...You reflexively want to almost explain what happened, but it feels weird and you don't know how or want to think about it. sugary-empress >You should explain! caepaecaesurae > af,,,ter you're split? sugary-empress >Will you actually have the globes to say anything after? caepaecaesurae > .. Something, yes, everything in complete detail, No. caepaecaesurae > What if we explain to dee how great sugary is instead caepaecaesurae http://pleasegoawway.tumblr.com/post/158153876910/decreasinglycreativwe-its-off-the-dasboard-it sugary-empress >That's always something you should do. Sugary is great. caepaecaesurae > What dee said is a /little/ hurtful, but also they definitely know it's been a while and you might be able to get through to them! sugary-empress >Exactly! When they left you really were pretty bad. Maybe they'll understand? caepaecaesurae > You think you downplayed things Just enough for it to sound like a believable neutral analysis from Cae, instead of a self-analysis from Tyfora... caepaecaesurae > http://actualmolotovcocktail.tumblr.com/post/158154523697/decreasinglycreativwe-on-the-one-hand-yes-but > !!!!  He said sure?? To, holding the camera at least maybe you aren't sure > Or talking you out of it > But.  Arguing?? Physical presence.  That's nice! caepaecaesurae "Oh trust me, wve knowv.  Don't wvorry about that part." > ..what to say for the rest of it??  Help, rest of brain! sugary-empress >Uh, that Condy's as trustworthy as she is beautiful, so it's fine that she knows? Alternatively, that you've got mutually assured destruction when it comes to secrets now, so as long as she's helping, why not include her? caepaecaesurae > Condy knowing is definitely handled, but //Nadaya basically said yes to something and you aren't sure what// sugary-empress >Oh, that. It's fine, it'll be okay no matter what. Alternatively ASK FOR CLARIFICATION, YOU DUMB TOOL, THIS ISN'T HARD. caepaecaesurae > But you lose so many cool points and people think you're stupid fi you ask for clarification as often as Caesurae would need to!! sugary-empress "Sure you'll hold t)(e camera or sure you're talking us out of it or?" >Cae, everyone knows you're not stupid. caepaecaesurae > Cae /acts/ not stupid... > ..and he's brilliant in, some ways. caepaecaesurae > ..god, the entire cae side of this is a disaster and Condy is /carrying them/. > ... Oh hey, if you combine their names into Caendy that's actually super appropo. sugary-empress >Caendy is so good... It even makes up for you not Winning as fare as number of letters. >Anyways, Cae acts not stupid convincingly enough that asking for clarification ONE TIME isn't going to make NADAYA, the lowblood with an inferiority complex, think Cae is dumb! caepaecaesurae > I mean.. Okay. > .. Also the C is shared, so it's more like 3 letters vs 4 letters, so she still wins! sugary-empress >Good point. >Man, of all the people on Tumblr to be deeply, needlessly insecure, you wouldn't have pegged Cae. Everyone likes him and he's fun to talk to so??? caepaecaesurae > The positive regard makes that half of Caefora feel better.  He's //normally// fine, it's just right after being attacked that he gets insecure and unsafe. sugary-empress >Oh, well that's relatable. That's fine then, so long as he knows he's great!!! caepaecaesurae > .. He can be great.  Caefora has this inner fire and drive to defend themselves that the Caesurae part is going to remember, and strive to match. <Nad> #i dunno! guess ill find out caepaecaesurae > !!! > /!!!/ sugary-empress >Nice! 38D caepaecaesurae > He might not hate Caefora the wrong waaaaaayyyy > This self confidence shit is amazing, he needs to get On This. caepaecaesurae > ..Maybe you shouldn't publicly admit where you are where sparks can see, so you'lll take this thing with nadaya into IM's... sugary-empress >Ooh, shit, good call. caepaecaesurae > ...alllso.  ..Also.  Maybe, not suggesting either Sugary's ship, or the Crimson Emperor's hive.  Those are not places Nadaya would go. > ..But that one Meenah's empty hive she offered? sugary-empress >Another good call! Damn, you're brilliant. caepaecaesurae > Practice makes perfect... "I'd be game to meet anywvhere you thought wvas a good idea -- I'm currently staying in some of Tyfora's safe places, but someone in Cae's clade offered a safehivwe that's sort of sitting empty and being a backup rn in case w)(ere I am stops being okay for me" ? caepaecaesurae > ...doing it caepaecaesurae trolljacksparrow: can i showw up at tyfora's safe place? its vval, right caepaecaesurae: yeah.  Are you okay wvith him?  I mean, crimson and evwerything, and I didn't wvant to trolljacksparrow: yeah, he's chill hey hey its fine caepaecaesurae: You're amazing. sugary-empress >This is why you love him! Also, further proof Val is amazing, if even Nads likes him. caepaecaesurae > Everyone is so good... caepaecaesurae > ...The cae half is quickly getting overwhelmed, there's just nothing there but affection.  Nadaya is the opposite of so many things Cae values, but /is a good man regardless/.  Why does he make these choices.  Why is he so good. CC: You're amazing. NAD: thats pretty gay NAD: coords? CC: > Coords! sugary-empress >Nadaya is the best terrible man.