#i am still not comfortable unmasking most times but i felt so sick today that i absolutely had to leave the meeting and go up to my room fo

[arabaka]

the only good thing about this work retreat is for the first time ever, i spoke about being queer and autistic (well to my work people) and i was welcomed by the group i worked with. they asked thoughtful questions, were really engaged with what i had to say, and told me they were so happy i shared that info with them.

other than that shit's sucked

[venusofthehardsells]

Claimed [Moon Blood part 2]

ReaderxVampire!Steve RogersxVampire!Bucky Barnes

Summery: The reader is a human held against her will at a facility doing research on vampires. Her first task as a “donor” is to let the vampire Steve Rogers drink of her blood, but Steve prefers to share his meals. Warnings: Noncon (forced consent), bit of violence, your typical vampire stuff A/N: PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS, this is NOT for everyone! Most of this is obviously shamelessly stolen from the plot of True Blood and was originally intended as a one-shot, but I decided to continue the story and am so far writing and planing for it to be 3 parts when finished. Phew. This took a month longer than anticipated and I am so sorry. Life is a bitch sometimes. I struggled like crazy to get this chapter out, but I really hope the next one will be easier. This part focuses mainly on Bucky, hope it doesn’t disappoint. Enjoy! ~ Part 1 _____ The door to the cell they wanted you to call a dormitory slid open with an almost inaudible whoosh, but every single donor in the room woke up anyway. You opened your eyes, but didn’t dare move just yet. In the fluorescent light from the doorway, you could see two guards dragging a girl inside. They left her in a heap more or less in the middle of the floor, before turning around and leaving without a word. The door slid shut again and cast everything in darkness once more. You were out of your bed and next to the girl as soon as the guards were gone. She was whimpering under her breath as if trying to stay quiet and failing. You recognised her as Number 21; earlier today, she had been called to the science department and hadn’t returned for dinner. You had feared the worst when she also failed to show up for the mandatory evening grooming. Of the thirty people originally in your donor group, only 17 remained. “It’s alright. It’s over,” one of the others whispered to her. Your eyes were starting to get used to the lack of light again and you could tell that her formerly white robe was stained all over. It wasn’t hard to guess with what. When two of the boys helped her to her feet, her legs wouldn’t hold her up and she whined in pain. In the end, they had to carry her to her bed and you fluffed her pillow for her while Number 16 tried to make her lie comfortably. “What happened?,” she asked quietly, as if someone might still be inexplicably asleep. Number 21 was sobbing outright now. “Don’t beg,” she managed weakly. “No matter what they do, don’t ask them to stop. Don’t… break. Don’t give them any reason to… to shoot you. They need the corpses too.”

No one in your group slept for more than a few hours that night. You were tense and on edge when you went to the small waiting room after lunch, having spent the morning being prettied again. One of the overseers had made a harsh comment about the dark circles by your eyes before they had been covered up and it had only made you even more uneasy. Number 21 looked ashen in the artificial daylight. It had taken them a long time to cover the bruising on her hips and marks on her face and inner thighs. Her bloodied robe had been switched to a new one during your shower, as had her bedding. Except for the grey pallor of her skin, she was just as beautiful as always. You wondered if by the end of the day you would still be as pretty as you were now. The two little puncture wounds on your neck were little more than needle marks; you couldn’t even feel them. Steve really had been careful. The sound of someone turning the speaker on somewhere in the facility made you close your eyes hard. Not me, not again, please… “Donor 29, please proceed to the hallway. You will be escorted to the science wing shortly. I repeat, Donor 29, please proceed to the hallway…” It took everything you had and then some not to empty your stomach out onto the floor. The others looked surprised to see you be chosen again already. Normally, the donors got a day or two between sessions to recover, unless… It was as if your breath wouldn’t go deep enough. The air in the room seemed to shrink away from you, until you were shaking all over and Number 21 had to put her arms around you to help keep you on your feet. Her eyes were bursting with tears for you. She supported you to the door, but once you were out in the hallway and away from the other donors, it felt as if the walls began to close in. Your lungs were burning. By the time a pair of armed guards arrived and asked you to follow by poking you with the barrel of a gun, you were heaving for breath and only barely stumbling along the corridor. “Keep up,” one of them sneered. It was hard to see through all of his gear, but there was no doubt in your mind that he was scowling at you as if you had killed his best friend with a blunt knife. You forced yourself to focus on putting one foot in front of the other and not think of anything else until they stopped in front of a security door with a retinal scanner and a silicone code pad. One of the guards removed his goggles and stood in front of the scanner to let it recognise his eye, then punched in a code on the pad. The other guard shoved you inside another corridor in what you guessed must be the science wing. The very air here seemed laced with sterile, antiseptic dread. You were sure you heard a scream somewhere far off. “Move.” They marched you through another two security points, before stopping in front of a lift. One of them kept a bruising grip around your upper arm now. The physical pain kept you grounded in your body as the lift ascended several levels and let you out with a crisp little ding. It was the only thing you felt for another brief minute as you were led through a laboratory and into a tiny closet-like room only barely big enough for the three of you to stand in. “Lose the robe.” You pressed your teeth so hard together your entire skull hurt with it. The pain made it easier to keep your fingers steady as you slowly loosened the fluffy belt and let the shield of the white bathrobe fall away. The guards took it and chucked it out of reach before it had even hit the ground. The nearest one shoved you through yet another reinforced doorway. Your knees hit the white tile floor of a circular room with walls two stories high. There was nothing in there beside a mattress across from you and the vampire restlessly lying on it. His long, brown hair lay tousled around his face like a soft halo and he was not wearing the standard hospital pyjamas the compound vampires were normally found in. Instead, his enhanced physique was completely on display, from the high slopes of his biceps slung across his broad chest to the stark lines of his hips. He might as well have been cut in marble. James. He was on his feet and by your side the moment the door slid shut behind you. “Darling?” You let out the tiniest of whines and folded your arms tightly around yourself. It did nothing to help with the way your entire body was shuddering in fear. Yesterday, you had been a donor in a monitored, controlled environment and the pleasure James had wrought from you had been for his own benefit. But everything was different now. For all you knew, he could be about to kill you. Perhaps these people wanted to study how a vampire tore its prey apart or learn how much blood it could drink without bursting or something equally sinister. James’ hand on your shoulder made you blanch. “Shh, darling, s’gonna be alright,” he mumbled almost lovingly into your hair, his lips moving against the very crown of your head. How do you know?, you wanted to yell at him, but somehow you couldn’t gather enough air in your lungs to get a single sound out. He kept whispering soothing little reassurances, until the scramble of a speaker being turned on made both of you start and look around. “…begin now that everyone’s here. Copulation study 015, male vampire, female human. For this study we have Subject 66, James Barnes and Donor 29, individual file to be attached by assigned warden at a later date. Both participants have been adequately tested prior to this study…” The voice went on and on about who would be observing, what you had eaten and when, the air temperature in the room, and about a thousand other details you couldn’t focus properly on. You weren’t sure you wouldn’t get sick as the truth of what was about to happen slowly sunk in. When you had been brought to the facility in the first place, you had thought that the extensive medical tests had only been to scare and humiliate the donors further. It had not occurred to you until now that the nightmarish gynaecological examination you had endured upon your arrival actually served a purpose. “Subjects, please proceed.” It was with unmasked terror that you met James’ sea-grey eyes. They were wide with shock, and pitying as they took in your frightened state. “Don’t worry, doll, ‘m not gonna do anything,” James mumbled against your forehead and got up to face the wall. You assumed he could hear people on the other side of it. “Do you hear that? I’m not gonna do it!,” he hissed, baring his fangs. “I’m not a fucking rapist, I’m not gonna fuck her for your stupid pseudo-science shit.” He was met with silence. After a while when nothing happened, you dared to lift your head and look at James. That was when the beam hit him. Without warning, a small round hole somewhere in the ceiling far above you opened and a ray of concentrated sunlight flared down into the room, hitting James square in the back. He let out a shrill wail and stumbled into the wall. The sun had only shone on his skin for half a heartbeat, but he was already branded with a circle of angry, red burns. Your eyes barely had time to adjust before another streak of the garish light of day shone onto the back of his shin, scorching, burning… He collapsed on all fours with a pained groan. Your stomach tied itself into a hard little knot of agonising, infuriating compassion. You didn’t want to feel sorry for him, things were bad enough for yourself already. “First warning, subject 66. Proceed.” “No…,” James managed, heaving. “I’m not doing it.” The floor under his face was stained, you noticed. Dark red little spots flecking the sickeningly immaculate tiles. Blood. James was crying. The ray of light came down on his back again. The howl of pain that left him made your throat constrict painfully and without thinking further, you threw yourself over him. This time, the second beam was aimed at the back of James’ shoulder, but you pushed him down against the wall to better cover him with your body that suddenly felt all too inadequate. “Final warning, subject 66. Proceed.” You had to do something. Panic was making you blind and you had to take several calming breaths to calm down enough to think. If they killed James, what kind of man would they replace him with? Would they even bother? The words of Number 21’s warning rang in your head. They need corpses too. With a heavy heart that beat too fast for its own good you took both of James’ hands and helped him onto his feet. Then you led him to the mattress. James’s face was full of bloody tears and the way he looked at you when you sat down made you think of a kicked puppy. “But I don’t wanna hurt you, darling,” he whispered devastated as you lay down and took a deep breath, trying to brace yourself. He knelt carefully next to you. The burns were already healing, but it was clear by the way he tightened his jaw with the movement that the pain lingered on. He softly caressed your cheek. His touch was so tender, as if you might actually break beneath his fingers like a fair little china doll. It made you think of the way his tongue had coaxed pleasure out of you the day before. How he had lapped and sucked and licked you over the edge of delight when he could have easily been rough and unfeeling. You reached up and cupped his face, willing your hands not to shake so damn much, but James felt it anyway and he certainly saw the way your eyes betrayed you by filling up with tears. With as much determination you could muster, you gave him a small, quaky nod. “You don’t mean that,” he said softly and you wanted to scream at him that it didn’t matter, that if he didn’t stop being so noble both of you would end up dead. And James was so much stronger than you. Even if he hadn’t been a vampire his body was still rippled with muscle and so your attempt to drag him down towards you was much like moving a human sized statue. Your arms around his shoulders did nothing to bring him closer, so instead you opted to lift yourself into his arms by using his cold unmoving body as leverage. His long hair tickled your face as you leaned in and brushed your lips against his ear. “Please…,” you managed so quietly that for a moment you doubted any sound had left you at all. The delicate little shape of the word in your exhale made him frown. “If… If we don’t do this…,” he whispered, understanding finally beginning to dawn in his eyes, “they’ll hurt you too?” You gave him another slow nod and he bit his lip, searching your face with those big beautiful eyes of his that made you think of rainy autumn skies over endless, rocky seashores in the north. “Will it be worse than this?” The answer was vividly painted in the lines your tears drew down your cheeks. He swore and gently eased the two of you onto the supple foam of the mattress, keeping the full weight of his god-like stature off you. With light, repetitive motions, he began running his fingers through your hair. He placed one loving kiss on each of your cheeks before leaning down and touching his lips to yours. Slow and light at first, then steadily with more and more passion, until he was devouring your mouth with the hungry devotion of a wavering believer being shown the face of god. You had never been kissed like this before. His full, pink lips were insatiable against yours. He took his time savouring you until your lips were raw and swollen and warm, never rushing, never pushing and you knew why. You were dry and he was big. Even like this, he still didn’t want to hurt you. Somehow the thought made your stomach tingle. You reached into his hair and let your fingers gently tangle into his soft, brown locks. James sucked on your bottom lip, tentatively asking permission and you let out a sigh, allowing his tongue to trail into your mouth with the same care it had shown your cunt yesterday. Every little lick made your nerve-endings sing. He tasted of salt and copper. Alive-like. Almost human. You were out of breath when James drew back to rest his forehead on yours. “You don’t deserve this…,” he murmured so quietly you weren’t sure you were supposed to hear it. He brushed the tip of his nose over your cheekbone, slowly moving to the shell of your ear. His entire body was pressed flush against yours now and he wiggled a little to make you give him more space to lie between your thighs. “I’m sorry, darling. I’m so sorry…” A winded gasp left you when James’ mouth latched onto the column of your neck and he began sucking a mark into your skin. His fangs grazed you and you braced yourself for the bite, but it never came. Instead he dragged his perfect cupid’s bow down your throat, the stubble of his sharply trimmed beard tickling you in its wake. You never wanted him to stop adorning your body with his kisses. “Try and relax, yeah?,” James whispered without ever lifting his lips off you. One of his hands moved from your hair and down to grasp at your breast. He squeezed greedily and began rolling his thumb over your nipple, teasing it into a hard little peak before moving over to bestow the same attention on your other one. “Imagine you’re somewhere else. Somewhere nice… Keep your eyes closed, doll. Just dream, okay? ‘S just you and me.” His low voice made the blood flow twice as fast through your veins and you ran your fingertips down the exquisite firmness of his upper arms, sensing the warmth rising in him too. With your eyes tightly shut, you could almost fool yourself into believing that you were lying on fresh, clean cotton sheets in a cabin somewhere in the Greek archipelago. That James, kind, loving, devastatingly handsome James was there with you in the sunlight, smiling and laughing, still wearing the scent of the fresh Aegean waves as he put his sun-kissed arms around you… It was impossible to keep the sound of a contented moan back when one of his hands slid between you and skimmed over your clit. “That’s it, darling,” he cooed when another light flick of his fingers made you arch your back off the mattress. “It’s all gonna be fine, ’m gonna take so good care of you, let me take care of you…” The way he said it, almost desperate, made your heart do a backwards somersault in your chest. One of his fingers slowly began gliding along your folds. His mouth found yours again with no less fervour as he spread your sparse wetness on his finger. You knew it wouldn’t be enough. He felt so good, but you were still too nervous and the more you thought about it, the worse it got. “Just gonna take it real slow, doll,” James mumbled into your mouth and pulled at your nipple with the hand not tracing your cunt. It made you hiss in surprise, but the warm buzz the motion set off in you shot right down between your legs and almost immediately made it easier for James. “We’ve got all the time in the world…” He put pressure on your clit with the top of his palm, making your hips buck into his hand of their own account. He did it again and again while his fingers still leisurely traced the lips of your cunt, getting acquainted with every little fibre of your skin. When he finally slid his middle finger into you, you tensed up around him and he stopped moving. Instead, he kissed his way from your lips across your cheek to the very top of your jaw and the soft skin beneath your ear. He continued down your neck until he found a spot that made your breath hitch and sucked hard on it, and then teasingly nibbled at it with his front teeth. The action sent a shudder of pleasure though you that made you move into James’ hand again. He crooked his finger ever so slightly, quickly swallowing your moan between his beautiful soft lips. The way he moved his hand between your legs was slow and deliberate, gently stroking your walls with small come-hither motions until you were wet enough for him to begin thrusting his finger in and out of your hole, shallow at first to help you adjust, until he could push it in with ease. “Deep breath, doll,” he whispered, placing another kiss on your swollen lips. His long hair brushed over your closed eyelids as he moved his head down to your breasts again, lavishing them in open-mouthed kisses. James worked another finger into you, stretching you more than your own fingers had ever managed. “Just relax. Think ‘bout yesterday, how good that felt.” Sweet, velvety words kept falling from his lips and onto your skin in a never-ending stream, while he set a steady pace between your legs that made a string of little moans pile up in your throat, but it was never enough to tip you over pleasure’s edge that at last felt within reach. “Good girl, you’re doing so good.” The praise landed on your collarbone, quickly followed by his tongue and his teeth, but not his fangs. You pressed down on his head a little, arching your throat up to let him know you didn’t mind, that he could take his blood from you if he wanted, but James drew back from you at the pressure and you opened your eyes. Had you done something wrong? “’M sorry, darling.” He shook his head with an almost woeful little smirk and sank his fingers knuckle-deep into your cunt, hitting every right spot inside of you. Your legs immediately came together around his hand, your hips once again moving you right into his palm. “I can’t drink from you. Wish I could, gods, I swear I thought these thighs were the gates of heaven.” James leant down and placed an almost chaste kiss just above your trembling knee. “But Steve claimed you, yesterday when we got back. Did it ‘n front of everyone. Can’t drink from someone who’s been claimed ‘nless you’re given permission. It’s our law, darling. He did it to protect you.” Another kiss, harder and higher up your thigh. Your breath caught at the thought of having his mouth, that sinful, perfect mouth just a little bit closer… You jolted against him when he started to move his hand faster and added a third finger. Just then, he bowed his head the rest of the way and flattened his tongue against your clit. Hard. It sent a shock through you that made the heat flare up in your lower body, hotter, hotter, until it felt as if your very skin was about to erupt. James was relentless now and within seconds, you were nothing but a shuddering mess at his mercy. Another firm lick and you dug your fingers into his shoulders to try to steady yourself. One more and you knew you were done for. He dragged his tongue against your little bundle of nerves again. Your entire body convulsed beneath him as the searing heat finally burst and you came with a breathy moan, clenching around the digits still inside of you, whining, whimpering, while James kept pumping his fingers to milk you of every single drop of pleasure he could. “Damn, doll, you’re pretty as a picture when you cum.”

James leaned back up and placed the deepest, filthiest kiss on your gasping mouth until the only things your mind could hold were the insistent press of his tongue against yours and the taste of yourself, sweat, cum, flesh, blood… “Gotta do it for me again,” he whispered as he slowly withdrew his fingers and began spreading your juices along his cock, stroking himself to full hardness with much less grace than he had handled you with so far. “’S gonna feel even better this time, I promise. Just remember what I told you, doll. I’ll be so good to you.” He lined himself up with your entrance and an involuntary tremor ran through you when he brushed your over-sensitive clit, before slowly easing the head of his cock in between your folds. You closed your eyes again and dug your nails into his biceps, fighting to get your muscles to cooperate and accommodate his girth. If only he hadn’t been so bloody thick. Your walls clung to his length as he gradually pushed himself into you, stretching you in places you had never felt with your fingers. A short, little cry of pain escaped you before you could prevent it and James immediately stopped moving. Only halfway in and you already felt as though you were being torn in half. “Oh, gods, you’re tight, darling… ‘m sorry, fuck, I’m sorry…” To your horror, he started to pull away, his beautiful blue eyes red with tears. The thought of what they might do to him if he refused again… Ignoring the pain in your lower body and the stiffness in your thighs, you folded your legs around his waist and forced him closer with all your meagre strength. James clearly hadn’t expected it. He gasped as you took him in to the hilt and you could guess by the way his nostrils flared and the stinging hurt that shot through your abdomen, that he had ripped something. He looked utterly crushed at the realisation, but also on the brink of losing his control. His words were thick with desire when he spoke. “Holy hell, doll, darling, you’re squeezing me so tight… Gotta let up a little, yeah? ‘m not gonna move ‘ntil you do.” He kissed your cheeks clean of tears that had sprung to your eyes from the abrupt pain of having him in you and his hands found the small of your back, brushing his thumbs over your hips in simple patterns. You took a breath as deep as you could and let it out in a shaky exhale against his ear. His cock twitched inside of you and you moaned softly at the unexpected sensation. A tentative heat was beginning to spread in your body like boiling water running through your bones, little by little turning the soreness into comfort and on into the beginnings of pleasure as it coursed beneath your skin from where his fingertips touched you. “That’s it, nice ‘n easy, doll. Fuck, you feel divine.” James offered you a smile that made the world fall away around you. The warmth from his touch and the hardness of his length inside your core made you feel light and tingly all over. There was something about the way he held you, looked at you that had you wishing it would never change. It didn’t matter that it had hurt at first. As he dipped down for another lasting taste of your lips, you brought your hands up to cup his face, that stunning, god-like face and imagined once again that you were lovers hiding away on a Mediterranean island far away from the rest of the world, spending your days in bed or in the sea… James carefully rolled his hips against you once and it felt as if a jolt of hot electricity shot through you from where you were conjoined, releasing a sound that had been stuck in your throat since his initial intrusion. This time however, it came out as a moan rather than a cry and James lifted his head, hesitating, the pale blue of his eyes searching your face for reassurance that he could continue. It was your turn to bring your lips to his and lick your way into his mouth. You moved your hips up to meet his, already craving that sizzling feeling back. You felt stretched, but it was nothing compared to the pleasant burn aching in you now. You needed more. He was only eager to comply. The first thrust was slow and it hurt, but the friction of it felt so intense it nearly drowned any discomfort out and exchanged it for pleasure. The second one went easier. The way his cock brushed against your walls made you feel utterly lightheaded and you lost control of your kiss, letting him plunge his tongue back into your open mouth and languidly drag it over yours in a sloppy caress. The third and fourth thrusts of his hips had you arching your back off the mattress. By the fifth, you lost count. You lost your breath as well and any sense of time and place and self as James set a steady rhythm that deliberately spurred you to the peripheries of madness. There was nothing but your flesh grinding against his and the heat gathering between your bodies, simmering, flaring as he pushed into you over and over and over… And it was glorious. Heavenly. But not enough. His hands easily guided your movements to match his own, as if you weighed nothing. The friction was at the same time delicious and excruciating. You never wanted him to stop, just to go faster. Each stroke of his cock rubbing just the right spot inside of you, feeding the flame growing in your lower body, had you whimpering for more. Pure desperation made you sneak your hand down between your bodies to massage your clit, but James caught your wrist and pinned it to the mattress next to your head with one hand, before quickly trapping the other one as well. “I’ll take care of it, darling,” he assured you in a breathy whisper. He proceeded to speed up the pace of his thrusts. His pelvis was slick with your juices, you noticed, but you didn’t have time to feel embarrassed about it as your body began to tremble of its own accord, chasing that second orgasm he kept just out of your reach. When the heat inside you was so intense you were sure you would burst with it, James reached down and began rubbing tight circles on your clit as he kept the rhythm of your joined movements going. “Yes, that’s it… Oh, fuck, oh doll, I can’t- you’re perfect… gods.” You whined and curved your back upwards, lodging your nails into his shoulders for leverage when he let go of your arms to hold you in place instead. You were writhing beneath him now. The walls of your cunt were fluttering with need around his cock and the heat in your belly was tightening painfully, unbearably, until one particularly deep thrust combined with the pressure to your sensitive clit finally unraveled it all and set you ablaze. With a helpless, shallow gasp, you clamped down around his length, your body scorching and burning with the pleasure that came gushing through you, overtaking you, overwhelming you until your vision blurred and your hips stuttered mindlessly against him. James groaned as your cunt squeezed him and made him follow you into the surge of your orgasm. He clung to you in a bruising embrace, burying his face in your chest with a sound almost like a sob. Your arms relaxed around him and fell to your sides; it was as if your body was humming faintly beneath your skin with the slowly fading waves of rapture. Could you move if you tried? Every muscle in you felt paralysed. The weight of James’ heavy body was beginning to make you feel a little crushed as well as you lay there beneath his bulking frame, both of you basking in the afterglow. You wanted his affection but you also wanted to breathe. “James?...” Your voice was feeble and hoarse with disuse. You hadn’t spoken more than a few words when forced to since you arrived at the facility. Talking made your situation all too real. It was just his name, but James looked up at your from between your blood-smeared breasts as if you were the eighth great wonder of the world. “Yeah, darling?” He reached up and brushed away a bit of hair that had stuck to your forehead. The movement made you wince and he seemed to realise he was still lying on top of you, because he hurriedly got onto his elbows and carefully pulled out of you again, leaving you feeling strangely empty and hollow. There was an ache as well that the fullness of his cock had drowned out during your lovemaking. You chose to ignore it and nestled into his side as he got comfortable next to you. His closeness was nice. You had been without physical contact even longer than you had been silent. “I wish we were somewhere else…,” James sighed, kissing your forehead. “I wish this was all different…” He nuzzled his nose into your hair, inhaling deeply. So do I. But you didn’t get the chance to say it out loud. The door to the room was slammed open with a crash that made you jolt away from him. Four armed guards entered, all of them equipped with specialised weapons you were sure weren’t legal, not even in the US. “Get up.” The guard in the front poked your shoulder with the barrel of his gun. Your legs were shaky and unstable beneath the weight of your body; it took everything you had not to topple over. Why did it suddenly feel as if you hadn’t get a single bone left? James got up and moved to support you, but one of the other guards shoved him away. “Enough, dead guy. You’ve had your fun with her, now back off.” James snarled at him, but didn’t move any further. “Hey! Fangs back in your mouth, freak.” The one who had had his gun trained on you, a stocky type who seemed to outrank the others, grabbed you by the shoulder and pushed you forwards towards the door. Your legs crumbled and you were on the floor again immediately. It was taxing just to get back on your knees. “Careful with her.” The change in James’ voice sent chills down your spine. He hadn’t moved an inch. The eerie calm with which he spoke was so different from the loving way he had whispered and cooed at you just a moment ago, you nearly swore he was a different person. One of the guards chuckled. “Or what, corpse?” Without warning, he backhanded you across the face. You fell backwards with fresh pain singing and echoing in your skull. You didn’t attempt to get back up this time. Your vision swam and blurred so badly you shut your eyes. Whimpered. “That’s gonna cost you the hand.” The stone-cold certainty in his words was simultaneously the most comforting and most frightening thing you had heard in your time at the facility. “A threat like that is going to cost you a lot more, corpse. I hope she was worth it. Maybe I should have a go at her myself, see what’s getting you so worked up.” Even if you couldn’t see the guard, you could tell from his tone he was smirking. There was nothing James could do to these men and you all knew it. The fact that he didn’t answer this time told you as much. “That’s right, corpse. I am going to split that little fang-banger in half and I might just let you watch. See if I can make her scream-“ “Corporal, let me remind you that we need our sample untainted for the study,” a voice remarked sternly from the speakers. “Get her to surgery now. Subject 66 will be escorted back to his ward when convenient.” “Fine. Let’s get moving.” The corporal, or maybe one of the others, yanked at your arm, but it was impossible to get your legs to cooperate. In the end, they had to drag you from the room. The sound of the door closing somewhere behind you, separating your from James, made your chest hurt almost as bad as your head. None of the donors who had been taken to surgery in the past had come back. You sniffled and tried to imagine the little Greek beach house again. White cotton sheets, the scent of salt and wood, the warmth of the sun… The ocean in James’ shining eyes… You clung to the faint impressions as your knees scraped and bumped into several sharp metal thresholds. They were the only things that kept you from spiralling directly into madness, but they faded with every second. As you were lifted up and strapped to a surgery slab, you wondered if madness wasn’t the better choice after all. Through the hurt in your head, you could hear tools rustling and beeping from several machines being turned on. A bright light appeared above you, burning through your closed eyelids. “Great, let’s begin then,” a voice somewhere behind you declared. “Copulation study 015, breeding trials 001.” _____ Tags: @lilypalmer1987​ @scuzmunkie​ @cake-writes​ @atthediscowithoutpanic​ @sagechanoafterdark​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​

[reeree1500]

The Return-Part 4

Okay y'all here's Part 4. OMG I cannot believe the amount of love that this story has gotten😍 it truly warms my heart, that an idea I had a while ago and have now just started writing has been loved by so many of you:) And with that lets get on to the storyyyy

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @camatsuru @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @cindy-exo @cainismyname @affection-rabbit @ragnarssonsbitch @mel0nch0ly @wuxiesalt

Disclaimer: My sucky ass writing as always:) Some slight insinuation of incest; Fluff (an attempt anyway);  And bad grammar and spelling (sorryyyy); Heart palpitations according to @yanii-the-hippie 😂 Hope you all enjoy☺️

Your POV

My head hurts so much that I feel as if I've just been hit by a carriage. The sounds of arguing around me do not help the situation at all.  So I try to not focus on the pain or the voices around me that won't subside and remember what happened. Images of Mira surface in my mind. Her corpse on the floor and the death rune carved into her back. My best friend and most trusted subject was killed because of me. I can't help but wince at the realization that I will never be rid of the death and chaos that I bring everywhere with me.

Fluttering my eyes open, my eyes wander looking for the source of those voices. As I begin to stand up from the very comfortable bed, I scan the room trying to find any trace of the people who were in here earlier. My eyes land on a pile of shirts neatly placed on the table. Walking towards them I come to notice that Im not in my dress anymore, but in what's seems to be a mans shirt. “Nice pair of legs you got there (y/n), wanna trade with me for a while?” At the sound of Ivars voice, I shriek and turn around whilst trying to pull down the shirt that is covering my body. “Ivar what the hell!” At the sound of my screaming Ivar just walks closer to me with a smirk gracing his perfect face. “W..what are you doing?!?!” His hands grasp onto mine and all I can do at that moment is stare back at him with my eyes and mouth open wide in shock. “You're gonna ruin my shirt if you continue to pull it down. Plus, you don't want me to see your breasts now do you?” At that, all the blood from my body rushes to my face. Turning me as red as an apple. 

Ivar grabs my face in his hands and his eyes scan over it. “I know we’ve just met. And its probably really wrong for me to feel what I‘m feeling, considering you're my sister. But, when you were unconscious it was probably the hardest thing I have gone through so far in my life. Not knowing if you would wake up was a nightmare that I could not wake up from.” Ivar says with an exasperated sigh. “Ivar....” I begin to say, but am soon interrupted by his lips placed on mine. I know I shouldn't reciprocate his feelings towards me or his kiss for that matter. But, the fact of the matter is that even in this short amount of time, this man has made feel things that I have not felt in my whole life. This man however is my brother and that is something that will not change. Soon the warmth of his soft and plump lips leave mine. Before I can say something about how inappropriate that was, Ivar is already walking towards the door. You know for a cripple he’s fairly fast. 

“You know (y/n) I’m so excited for what's in store in our future.” He says as he reaches the door. Rearing his head to where I still stand in utter shock of what just transpired seconds ago. “Especially, since we now share a room.” At that Ivar winks at me and leaves the room, with that smirk on his face. Once the door is closed my legs give out from underneath me. “Lord what have I just gotten myself into. It is wrong for me to have these sort of thoughts and feelings for my brother. Please give me the strength necessary in order to get through this.” As I look up and close my eyes I can only beg that he hears my prayer and somehow gives me the power to get through this. But knowing the almighty, something will happen.

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As the weeks went on by, we had buried Mira the Christian way. Although nearly no one shared my beliefs, it felt nice to be able to have Mira been given the respect she deserved. People had brought flowers and different types of gifts to me in order show me their condolences. On the outside I had to be strong and show them that whoever did this had not gotten to me. However, my family knew all too well the toll it took on me. Especially Ivar, who would hold me at night and whisper sweet nothings into my ear when I had the recurring nightmare of that night. The raid that was supposed to occur after the festival was cancelled. I had expected many people to be upset at the fact that it was. But what I saw was a community come together for someone they did not know. And that is what I missed the most about Kattegat. The people. My people.

Ragnar, Bjorn, and Ubbe had decided to lead an investigation into who had murdered Mira. So far they had gotten a couple of leads, but nothing that would certainly pinpoint who the culprit was. In his worry my father had decided to teach me how to fight, so that I would be able to defend myself if it came down to it. He knew that this was a personal attack on me. And a personal attack on a son or daughter of Ragnar Lothbrok was an attack on him too. “Come on my beautiful sister, we have some more training to do.” I can hear Hvitserk say as he comes up from behind me. “Is that really necessary Hvitty? We trained yesterday!” On the weeks that went by I could say that Hvitty and I got really close. Closer than probably me and Ivar are. After the kiss with Ivar, I had tried to put as much distance between myself and him. What we had done was wrong and a sin. And I could not allow myself to give in to such temptations. 

However, that doesn't mean that Ivar still didn’t try to get closer to me. Every chance he got I var would hold my hand or hug me from behind. I knew that people where beginning to get the wrong idea, as I had caught Margrethe talking about how “close” we were for siblings. As soon as I heard that I began to make sure to only talk or look at Ivar if necessary. Waking me up from my thoughts Hvitserk takes my hand and leads me out of the hall. “Im coming. Im coming. Calm down!” I cannot help but contain my laugh at Hvitserk’s desire to want to train with me. Its probably the cutest thing I have ever seen. “You look like a child anxious to play with a brand new toy, Hvitty.” At that Hvitserk lets out a chuckle. “Only of you're the brand new toy and I get to play with you everyday.” he winks at me as he says this. “Come on you're distracting me, let’s get to work. Legs shoulder width apart and make sure you have good balance...” 

-----------------------------------

Bjorn POV

“We must have gotten somewhere by now! I want whoever is responsible dead!” my father screams at Ubbe and I. “Father, we've searched through and through, but there are no certain leads! Its a he said she said situation thus far!” Ubbe yells back at him. “Do not tell me what I already know, boy! I just cannot help but feel useless and like I am not able to protect my own. We all know that that was supposed to be your sister dead, not that poor girl.” at that he trails off. My father has lost way too much over the years. Many friends have come and gone. But the way we buried Mira, could only remind him of his best friend Athelstan. The Christian priest that changed his life (and mine believe it or not) for the better. He was murdered too, and that has always been a constant reminder to him of someone he could not save.

“What I think that we should be doing instead of arguing is perhaps, finding someone who is good at unmasking people. Since none of us can seem to find who it could be.” I tell them both, getting tired of their back and forth arguing. “And who would you suggest Bjorn. No one can know that (y/n) is here, besides the people of Kattegat. Our enemies will know how to get us. Hell one of them probably was behind this!” my father reciprocates. “I think we all know who I’m talking about. Im just wondering if you'll be able to reel in and control that bitch of yours, when she gets here. Since I’ve already sent word to her.” I bark back at my father. I don't know if its because im sick of him treating me as if ill never be good enough. Or because (y/n)’s life is on the line, but I had never found the courage to stand up to my father, until now. At my words my father becomes silent. It might the loads of ale Ive had today, but I swear that I can see what seems to be pride in his eyes. “How long?” “One day’s ride” It is then that my father shouts to the thralls...

“Prepare the great Hall! The Queen is coming home!” 

--------------------------------

Your POV

As the hours went by and my training had somewhat gotten better, I pleaded with Hvitserk to do something else. “Okay!Okay! We’ll stop training! But what else do you want to do?” Hvitserk's says shielding his sword. “I don't know, back in Frankia Uncle Rollo used to take me to the lake and taught me how to swim. Is there a lake nearby?” At that Hvitserk looks at me like I‘ve grown horns and a huge smile breaks out. “Come on, let’s eat quickly and then I have somewhere I wanna take you!” Rushing towards me Hvitserk grabs my hand and we quickly run off towards the great hall. Once we both quickly swallow our food, we head to the stables. There we find non other than Ivar in what seems to be him being pleasured by a thrall. 

“Oh, Im so sorry. We didn't mean to intrude.” I say whilst quickly turning around. “Awww you're so cute (y/n), you’ve never seen or been pleasured before?!?!? Is that why you're as red as a tomato right now?” Hvitserk chuckles at me while trying to pry my hands away from my face. “Shut upppp!! Hvitty, get the horse and lets goooo!!” I chuckle nervously at him. “Its ok (y/n), you should take notes from Margrethe here. Who knows you might have to use them some day.” Ivar manages to say through his... compromising position. “Well Ivar, (y/n) and I are gonna go on a little adventure. Don't wait up...” At that Hvitserk grabs the reins on the horse and passes them on to me. “You know how to ride (y/n)?.” “Of course, Hvitty. Its literally my favourite thing to do.” “I’m glad to hear that. Now lets go!” And with that Hvitserk and I were off to God knows where. But one thing I knew for sure was that if Hvitserk was involved, we were sure to have a good time.

Bjorn POV

Soon the day had gone by and it was just a matter of time before my mother was here. You could hear a pin drop in the great hall. The anxiousness that lingered in the air was so thick that you could probably cut it with a knife. My father could not stop bouncing his leg, some thing he did when he too was nervous or didn't know the outcome of certain events. My head quickly towards the doors when I heard the neighing and hooves of the horses. At that we all stood up and thats when both Ubbe and I noticed we were missing certain people. “Ivar, where's (y/n) and Hvitserk? They're supposed to be here or did you not tell them that we would have company tonight?” I whisper at him trying to not get noticed by father or Aslaug. “Probably fucking somewhere. You know they've gotten pretty close these past few weeks I wouldn't put it past them.” At that I just look at him shocked. “Are you sure it’s just him Ivar? Don't act like I haven’t caught you staring at our sister when she's taking bath or when she's walking around the market.”  Sigurd chimes in. “Whatever we will resume this conversation after this. But send someone to get those two here. NOW!” 

When I turn back I am able to see my father already walking towards the door with the family behind him. Making my way outside I catch a glimpse of my mother on horseback. The most beautiful woman to grace the earth and the most skilled in combat. She taught me everything I know and for that I could never thank her enough. Behind me came up my wife Torvi, I smile down at her and hold her hand. She knows that I will do anything for my family, especially my mother and sister. And I will protect them at any cost. As my mother gets down from her horse I immediately go towards her and give her a hug. “You know that surprise I told you about in the letter. Well, I have an even better one now.” I say whilst chuckling in her ear. “My son, how many times do I need to tell you that Im not so easily surprised.” She laughs back at me. You don’t know what's in store mother...

After much due catching up with my mother. It’s time to get down to business. Father fills mother in about the fact that there has been a murder the night go the spring festival. My mother begins to ask questions on how we've conducted the investigation, to which Ubbe fills her in. I cant seem to pry my eyes away from the doors. Hoping that my sister and brother walk into the hall safely. It’s been hours and no one has heard or seen of them. “Bjorn, are you okay? You're not really focused on the matter at hand?” Torvi says while placing her hand on my knee. “Yeah...Yeah, Im fine just a little anxious thats all.” At that she leaves it alone. It is then that we hear some jugs fall over and loads of laughter. “Hvitty get upppp. Everyone is gonna knowwww....” I can hear the slurs of my younger sister.  “Pfttt.. Like they careeee, were just having some funnnn....” Great these two are drunk of their asses and dropping shit everywhere. It is then that they both enter the hall. (Y/n) is carrying Hvitserk, in what seems to be a futile attempt to act normal. But when her eyes land on the blonde graying hair of our mother she drops Hvitserk and immediately you can see that she sobers up. 

“Mama...”

At that my mother stops talking. And her eyes begin to well up with tears. “No. it cannot be. It’s the gods playing tricks on me.” My mother says whilst looking down, refusing to turn around. My father gets up from his chair and kneels beside my mother. “It is true. She is here, come with me. I promise you she will not be taken from you again.” My father’s voice cracks at the end. As I truant where my sister stands I can see the pan and suffering coursing through her body. Her eyes show a small child that was ripped from her safe place and placed in an evil and hungry world, that only wanted to make her suffer. As my mother and father stand up I catch a glimpse of Aslaug and her stone cold face. That is filled with rage and what seems to be a predatory glare towards my sister. Trying to put it to rest and not say anything, I turn towards my parents. My father holds may mother in his arms as to keep her from falling over. “ My baby girl. Tell me that this was not dream that Ive had for the past 6 years and that you're actually here with me.” My mother manages to say through her tears. But,(y/n) is barely able to get anything out through her sobs. All she does is run to where my mother and father stand and embraces them. At that they all fall to the floor in their embrace. Hvitserk is now standing beside me. Watching, with the rest of us the reunion of a mother with her child. In my daze of being focused on my parents and sister reuniting I fail to realize that both Torvi and Aslaug are missing......

Aslaug POV

“She should have been dead!!! What part of kill the insolent bastard child do you not understand!” I scream at Torvi. “You did not tell me that she was the daughter of Ragnar and Lagertha. Much less Bjorn's sister!” I had ordered Torvi to kill (y/n) so that what I had done that night many years ago, would not come back to haunt me or my family. I did this in order to protect them. That insolent child will only bring death with her. The death of our gods. And that is something I will not allow. I had faked to not have known about her existence all that time ago, but I cannot put past me the prophecy that was foretold by the volva. I will do anything in my power to make sure that she gets nowhere near my sons. For I rather die then see an era were Vikings and Christians alike are one people.... “When Helga and Floki get to the dock. Report back to me immediately and tell Floki that he has an unfinished job from 6 years ago.” As I stare at my husband and his so called “family” I cannot help, but get a bad feeling about this. 

That Christian child will pay for coming between my family....

[korra4321]

Gifts (Alternative ending) (unedited)

It's had been exactly a year since she had him thrown in Azcaban , the prison that was build escpacially to keep wizards and witches like him under a lock and key, but in his case it was totally different , they made for him a very special cell with maximum security,it had a glass like texture instead of the usual stony one or the metal bar like , he has the furniture to be white or gray just like his room on her house , meal times was exactly like when they had it together, he even request the same scented candles that she had, the same painting on the walls , every single tiny trivia detail was the same as the one of the house .

It funny how she captured him , you see during his time as Lord Voldemort , another masked figured appeared it was a female one , it started so small at first she stunned few of his deatheaters that was guarding a shop leaving messages that a rebellion had began signed up as {Lady hope } , later she took down more and more until she became the face of the rebellion , as if she was Harry replacement , and in no time she was facing off the dark lord .

He shouted more cursed at her , wanting to just unmask her and killing her , he was curious to see the face of the woman defying him , that had the courage of the dead house Gryffindor, the brains of Ravenclaw, she was judging him and returning his cursed with lighter ones , aiming to just unmask and capture him, so when fate has it twisted way in fullfiiling thiere first part of the wish , both of them were left stunned with shock of who the other was.

Tom reached out his hand not believing his eyes, Korra had tears in her eyes , and he tough she was scared of him , he reached to wipe it out whill he opened his mouth to give a lecture , only for her to recover from the shock and whisper "Stupefy" knocking him unconscious.

He signed , returning to read the book on his hand ,just for him to hear the footsteps of two persons and a hiss that belonged to Nagini " I can feel my master " he smiled at the sense of her aura ,the door of his cell dorm opened reveling her , his soulmate.

Korra didn't change a lot just that her hair that she cut down to fit her rebellion mask , has gotten back to it original length, her eyes got that rest she deserve , her skin more healthy then when she was paranoid that Voldemort will show up at her door making her another victim for his limitless body count.

When she saw him for the very first time in a year she gasped, his hair has gotten longer not the length of a female , the length that was blocking his eyesight if he let his hair uncombed , he have gotten more thin if that was possible, not the thin the 'I can see your bones ' thin , the thin that those who strive to be more then model like , the Slytherin heir will not let himself starve , his skin got more pale due to the lack of sun light exposion , his eyes were still that lovely green .

They where staring at her, eyes longing at every single detail of her face once he was don't taking the examination look he smiled naturally , "hello love, I am glad that you put the long distance relationship state to end, I passed the taste didn't I?, Of course you were testing my ability for it " he didn't pose at the greeting part at all.

"Hello Tom ,I think that I stated before we are not lovers" Korra firmly said as she sighed heavily , she didn't fool herself in thinking that he will be acceptable toward that she didn't return his (obsessive) romantic feeling toward her , her feeling toward him were pure platonic one , nothing less nothing more .

He chortled lightly , "my bad , silly me how could I forget ,Korra , we are not lovers "

She smiled and realised a breath of comfort

"We are soulmates" he continued, saying that as if it's was a solid fact that no two can argue over it .

Korra took fee steps until she was close to him but not so close to see what was his book about , "Tell me Tom, did you really have to do that ?, You could use the easy approach"

Voldemort teeth dangerously closed on them self as he breathed " I doubt that those delusional freaks will kindly kill themselves if I asked for it , the only way to clean there sins is with their blood "

Korra who had regretted opening the wound inturraped him "TOM ,... What I meant was them not respecting muggle born and muggles themselves , I didn't ask for my bestie to go down full mass murder on everyone who was not pure"

He appeared to be taken back " Love ? I was not planning on killing you or myself  , I know that you are my soulmate , you see fate keep in adding more evidence to it nearly every day "

She tough that she will get used to his mood swings and his unhealthy obsession with the idea that they were soulmates, but clearly he could covert a conversation from 'how was your cup of coffee' to 'you see ?, The waitress brought for us smilliar mug colors ,is that evedence of we are soulmate?' in matter of minutes .

She rolled her eyes "surprise me Tom z what are they"

He was euphoriant to be asked that by her , "we are half bloods , you love winter and I was born in it , you don't mind snakes and exotic animals , I speak parseltounge"

'and I can speak sarcasm fluently' Korra though

"Your favorite color is black that is the same as mine, you hate the toxic people like I do , your Lady hope persona match my Lord Voldemort one , hope can be wordplay to hobie which means my love in Arabic...."

He bubbled that Korra zoned out of his chatting only to be zoned back in by...

" And your hair match mine now , you see you returned it to it original length , when mine is long for , we match even when I can't see you "

Korra lover that she didn't eat anything that day , just in case his lecture that she was so positive will leave her wanting to throw up , "you see love , you even feel sick from staying away from me "

Korra serach for a topic to talk about that can shift his attention on her "Nagini misses you"

His eyes widened " you can speak parseltounge?"

"No but I can understand body language"

"Hello master " Nagini hissed

"Hello Nagini , have she been waiting for my outbreak today ?"

"She doesn't know "

Korra still searched for a new thing to distract him before she ask him what the question she come for " Tom , what book are you reading?"

He returned his attention to her " oh , I am not reading more like writing "

He showed her the book, Korra felt more disguste by what he wrote it was just one word all ever the pages as she flipped them .

Her name

Tom having the habit of looking at her and drinking in every detail of her , when took his book to see , be took the opportunity to look at her hand , he eager from the inside , she had the promise ring on her finger , that was meant to have their engagement ring,

"Nagini ....kill whoever give her the piece of metal"

"Yes master "

Korra , reached the last page , she didn't know what negative emotion left for her to feel from it.

The page had a list of their weeding plan , honeymoon, no child name since he know she doesn't want any, the places that he will love to take her to, everything that he planed on doing for them, and all the (creepy ) romantic ways he planned on purposing to her then obliviate her , move to a new location for a different purpose way until he checked out all the ways , the last eat was bone chilling , he planned on purpose to her on surrounded by the corpses of their enemies , all whill they were on the body of the dying minister of magic .

Korra decided to leave it was the time to ask , she give him back his book , or diary to be more specific , when that time for their hand to hold to same object he took his sweet time , crassing her hand , "I love that your skin still smoth, I know mate you kept it just for me , the same way your body is left not touch by anyone but m...."

She took fee steps back , not shocked from his word , but when she saw the wall behind him .

It was filled with her name .

The tears fall down her checks , Tom got angry " come here love , let me wipe them by myself, I don't want anyone but me to do that, not even yourself " he extended his hands for as far as he can from the cell , eyes red like the blood of his fallen enemies .

"Tom , before I leave I want to ask you, why do I feel like something is always missing"

His mood swings strikes again " oh dear soulmate , we are soulmate so naturally you will that when we are not around each other , ... But I know that you mean physical, it because I made a hoxrac for you ...,a mate is equal after all "

"Goodbye Tom"

She began walking , only to hear him reply

"See you later love "

A chill run down her spine but she never looked back.

She was at home now , looking at her promise ring that she bought to herself from the jewelry store, she bought it as a promise to never ever visit him , but since she broke the promise she no longer felt obligated to wear it ,so she gently removed it and put aside on the coffee table.

She decided she need to take a nap , that last thing she saw was Nagini moving outside, before the sandman come for her.

When she woke up there was blood on her , but that was not what frightened her the most,

No it was the note on the same coffee table that she putted the ring on it ,

{Hello love , I am here , but let's play hide and seek ,I am hiding and you seek me

With best regards

Your soulmate

P.s you can't escape all the doors and windows are locked , the house have silence spell on it , oh and there is nothing you can use as weapon too, just your pretty hands  }

Korra never felt the need to scream in terror before like she felt it right there.

Her hands were shaking from rage , that he Tom from his hiding place could see , and being delusional he tough that was a sign of excitement.

He smirked , oh it was gonna be so much fun.

Korra stood up and give her back to the wall gluing on it to never give him the chance to jump on her like his twisted fantasies he have.

She didn't know what to do if she found him , didn't want to know what he will do to her if she did.now she was at the stairs she wished of she could looked two places at the same time , one up and one down .just in case he was to ambush on her .

With each step she took her heart beats louder , untill she reached the top and and had smelled the smell of salt and rust she opened the guest room to find the corpse of the jewelry ship keeper , and to make it worse Nagini was eating it.

Korra didn't fight the tears , she just let them fall , the snake was too busy to notice her , she closed the door and her eyesight was blurry ,she wiped them , just in time to her it " you know love, that keeper had it coming " the voice come inside her head , he was using legllemancy on her , when she tried to use ocullemency to keep him out she couldn't use magic and she was not surprised by that , of course he give her a potion that made her temperory as as she hoped to not use magic.

" Oh I just can't wait for you "

She ignored him , continuing her task she made the wall her support friend , his room was empty , she made sure to search the entire house before coming upstairs, so that leave one room not touched ,hers .

When she opened the door she found her room having a romantic one , straight out of romantic movies , with the sound of running water , "welcome love " his voice didn't come from her head , not it was from right behind her , Korra didn't have the time to turn around,

His arms sneaked around her middle holding her hands captive and his chain rested on her shoulder , his hot breath on her ears tickled her when he whispered " ohh how much I missed your"

"Fuck you...Tom Marvalo Riddle"

He laughed

"If that what you...."

"I didn't mean it that way you...."

"Love , you are dirty by his filthy blood , let's get you cleaned up "

His stupid mood swings.

He led her awkwardly to the bathroom that has the bathtub filled with hot water , rose pitals and the scent of coffee candle , her changing clothes were folded nicely waiting for her , she didn't dare to look at them , she didn't want to know what he chose for her , stupid choices she give him to make , now it come biting down on her , biting like the mess up fact the pet snake was eating dinner, the fact she was led to the bath by her (soulmate) bestie , that his hair was still long.

"Before we bath ...."

" Tom please I don't want to take a bath with you " he shock his head , "love , I understand that you are body shy , but that not a problem I will leave and let you take it by yourself , then once you don't I will bath in the same water you bathed in , that a soulmate right "

His eyes pupils were dialed as he continued not stopping

" Also my hair is long , so we you can cut it and wash it for me , just like you did when I was still homeschooled once, also the scissors are magically enchanted so don't even think about it ".

He wiped away the tears that felt down ,

"I told you only I can wipe them "

There was no escaping from him she knew it , she didn't have to look outside to see the dead bodies of all the enemies on the street , to see the Halloween night take a twisted turn.

To know that he let deatheaters customes be the Trojan horse to began and end successful his plan on taking over the magical world.

To see the two masks on her bed , Lord Voldemort mask and Lady Hope.

He sealed her fate with a kiss on her eyes .

[pjstafford]

Why I’m angry.

I haven’t written a pandemic blog in a while. Here’s the thing. When I really think about it, I’m fucking angry.

I live alone. I don’t live surrounded by beauty. I spent 2020 amazingly isolated. It got to me. I missed music live and intimate dinners with close friends and travel. I needed the world to open up. We all did.

I had a horrible reaction to a rubeola vaccination when I was a kid. I remember getting in the car and the next thing was days later, I was packed in ice and my mother was doing an alcohol rub to lower my temperature. I missed my kindergarten year of school and then had bouts and bouts and bouts of pneumonia. I’m really sensitive to any medication that dries out your sinuses. The only time I had surgery I had a severe reaction to the neuromuscular paralyzers they use so your nose don’t run. Apparently what they gave me to wake me up resulted in me throwing a nurse across the room. So with a emergency authorization of an experimental vaccine. I thought not. And I want to be really honest we cannot be sure if there might be some type of all impact twenty years from now to these vaccines. WE DONT KNOW. Hear what I said fully. I said we don’t know. What we do know is without them catastrophic deaths will occur and greater mutations would happen and there might not be a lot of us left at the end of the day. So there’s the fear of what we don’t know and the reality of the horror we ‘ve lived through. I still might not have taken it myself but, I wanted to be one of the ones that could go back into the world. I needed that. I couldn’t not vaccinate and keep isolating. So I took the vaccine.

I’m angry at the unvaccinated. Sure. But I have anger to spread around.

April. What a relief to be vaccinated! I’m less likely to die. I feel more comfortable when I do essential trips. My existential fears are mostly gone. Remember how good that felt?

May. Wait, I’m supposed to go out and eat in restaurants. Suddenly my existential fear is back. People being understanding that I needed to time to adjust but we were vaccinated people. Time to get back to normal! I am made to feel over cautious.

June. Ok. This is good. I’m meeting friends for coffee. I’m going to a museum with limited numbers. I know the vaccinated don’t have to wear masks but the unvaccinated do and there’s 50% vaccinated and no ones ask the maskless for proof of vaccination so everywhere there’s only one out of 20 wearing a mask and I’m wearing one so probably the unvax aren’t wearing masks and there’s variants and WHY ARENT WE ASKING THE UNMASKED FOR PROOF OF VACCINATION? What happened to the six feet isolation marks in the grocery stores? Is personal space a bad thing? But it’s cool for me. I’m protected right?

imagine if we had simply enforced unvaccinated have to wear a mask in June.

July. With 60% of the population vaccinated we declare an end to the pandemic. Everything is open no restriction. I even travel on a plane, march and chanted,. Everything’s back to normal!

Imagine if everything opened but we kept restrictions in place. What would you rather have-a one month bacchanalia and six more months of shut down? I would have been ok with outdoor concerts no more than 100 for a month, knowing I could travel safety, sit with a friend for a drink for months to come. We really needed lollapoolooza? Even if in September we are back in lockdown? That’s a good choice? Wild party with thousands for one month vs the possibility we might not have Thanksgiving dinner with family or friends. Did you know you were making that choice?

August. Well, there are break through infections but you won’t die. You will infect 7 other people. And the unvaccinated could die. Our hospitals are full so don’t get sick with anything else. Oh, that thing you missed concerts are being canceled because it turns out being outdoors with this variant isn’t safe, really, not in crowds. And the cases are rising and we are almost at January levels and another variant might come where vaccines will be less effective. That’s ok. Some of us will get a third shot. What about the kids who can’t be vaccinated? Oh they have to be back in school. We’ve given up even hybrid. Masks. Nah. Don’t worry about it. Wait. Didn’t we close down schools for a year to protect the children? First week of school. . 309 out of 1000 student body test positive. Entire district going virtual again. Wait. Couldn’t that have been predicted? ( not yet in NM in other states).

No closing down no matter what? Well that sounds like Trump era doesn’t it?

If they are not vaccinated they deserve to die! Well, no. Sorry. And about the strain on the health care system, our medical personnel, our children.

Well if it gets bad enough we can shut down. Doesn’t opening schools guarantee? Can we at least put the six feet guidelines back up in Walmart?

Today there are stories about how bad things are in Louisiana. I got a notice asking if I want to conference in person in New Orleans in Sept. No…it was virtual last year. Can’t do it twice in a year! But? Oh. My God, don’t get me started on holding Olympics this month.

If your vaccinated it’s unlikely you will be hospitalized. I think that’s great, but I had H1N i wasn’t hospitalized just out of work for six weeks with permanent lung scarring. So you can sometimes be pretty sick without hospitalizations.

I’m angry as fuck not just at the unvaccinated but at the stupid decisions along the way. I didn’t need a fucking free for all party for a month. I needed to know it would be safe to travel out of town in September, gather with friends for scary movie night in Halloween, spend time with love ones on Thanksgiving, attend an indoor Christmas concert in December. . I guess some people knew. We have a month. Let’s party like tomorrow the world ends. But it didn’t have to be that way. We didn’t have to be looking into the face of the potential for a prolonged shut down again. Not everyone could go see their love ones in July. When will they now? Couldn’t a little for a little bit be enough? Whether you’re vaccinated or not, if your a government official too fearful of Republicans to make cautious decisions or just the person insisting masks be damn let’s party with our 10,000 closest friends, you have been selfish. You have likely cost the rest of us what we most wanted for the rest of 2021. Our needs for the little we wanted to keep as normal matters to us as much as your party. Oh, and then there’s the deaths. So yep. I am fucking angry. There are a lot of selfish assholes in the world.

[myaekingheart]

96. Konoha Academy Field Day

               Kakashi sighed softly as he nuzzled Rei’s cheek, sleep drunk and satisfied. He wrapped his arms around her, held her close, fingers toying with the waist of her underwear. Rei chuckled and squirmed, conscious but eyes still weighted shut by the tailend of her exhaustion. “Kakashi…it’s too early for that” she mumbled, but her hand was reaching around to playfully squeeze his ass. He trailed kisses across her cheek and down her neck, smiling as her hips swayed against his.

               “Do you want me to wait?” he whispered, caressing her thigh. Rei wiggled free of his grasp and rolled over to face him, pressing her forehead against his. Her eyes were droopy with sleep but there was a smile on her face. She gripped his waist in silent answer, and he pressed his lips to hers in silent response.

               This. This was the thing he loved about living together. Slowly waking up to her every morning, the sunlight casting a warm glow upon her face. The air was cool and clean and bright. There was a certain beauty to her like this: her matted, tangled hair, her soft and sleepy expressions, the way her eyes would scrunch closed when she yawned and her limbs tangled with the blanket and the cute little sighs she’d make in her sleep. It was now when she was the most vulnerable, the most unhindered, and perhaps even the most stunning. His heart swelled as he brushed her bangs out of her face and kissed her eyelids, her cheek, her collarbone, her shoulder. He didn’t think anyone else could fully appreciate the moments like this unless they were really, truly in love. Bypassing the morning breath, the unshaven legs and faces, the residual night sweats and blanket tug of war. Perfectly imperfect. And that was when Kakashi knew that the time was right.

               Between kisses, he murmured softly, “You really are so beautiful, you know that?” While he had her distracted, he reached behind him into the drawer of his nightstand and felt around for the engagement ring. He tried to be as quiet as possible but luckily, he knew Rei well enough to understand that at this hour in the morning, she was still too out of it to even really notice.

               With an airy laugh, Rei replied, “Even with my ratty underwear and sweat-stained shirt?”

               “Mmhmm” Kakashi replied. “I wouldn’t want to wake up next to anyone else.”

               “Your standards are so low” Rei jested, but Kakashi shook his head.

               “I just know exactly what I want” he replied and gently ran his finger across the scar on her nose.

               “Mmm, and what’s that?” she asked.

               Kakashi’s heart started pounding. This was it. He was going to do it. No turning back. “I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life. Spend every day with you. Do everything with you. Which is why—”

               “Good morning, my eternal rival!”

               Kakashi froze and looked up. There, crouched in front of their bedroom window was none other than Might Guy, fresh-faced and a little too energetic per usual. Toshio lifted his head up off the floor and barked at him, sensing an intruder. Rei squealed and immediately tugged the covers up over her head, effectively covering the lower half of Kakashi’s unmasked face in the process.

               “Guy! What are you doing?!” Kakashi shouted. He considered leaping up and tearing the curtain closed but he was definitely indecent. Not that Guy was any stranger to seeing him in certain variations of exposure—they had known each other for ages—but now was not the time for particulars. Kakashi rested a comforting hand atop Rei’s head as he replied through gritted teeth, “We’re kind of in the middle of something.” He hoped Guy got the message.

               Guy cocked a brow and glanced from Kakashi to the lump under the bed that was Rei and back. “It’s already 7:30, Kakashi!” he exclaimed. “You know, I’m disappointed in you. This is the springtime of your youth! You should be up and out facing the world!” He pressed his face against the glass and grinned.

               Sighing, Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. “Was there something you needed this early in the morning, Guy?” he sighed.

               “As a matter of fact, there is!” Guy replied. “You see, the academy is having it’s field day today but two of the other instructors fell sick with a nasty virus and so we’re short two people. Iruka asked me if I knew anyone who would be willing to volunteer at such short notice and I told him I knew just the right people, so I came here to get both of you!”

               “Nope! Not happening! Sorry!” Rei shouted from underneath the blankets. “I am not sacrificing my Saturday to run around after a bunch of snotty little kids.” Kakashi glanced at her, mildly taken aback by her stubborn response.  

               Guy looked upon them with those awful puppy dog eyes, pleading and hopeful. Kakashi hated when he did that. It was that very method that had the copy ninja roped into countless bizarre challenges. Not that Kakashi necessarily minded them, or at least the idea of them. The execution, however, was, after a while, exhausting. And yet now here Guy was begging again. How could Kakashi honestly say no?

               “Alright, we’ll help” Kakashi finally sighed. A wide grin spread across Might Guy’s face as he rejoiced in his success. Rei immediately whipped the blanket back just enough to meet Kakashi’s gaze, staring up at him as if to ask what the hell he had just gotten them into and was he deranged? She had just said no, did he not hear her? But it was too late to back out now. Guy was already giving them the rundown on their responsibilities and where to meet up with the others. And then he was off and it was just him and her and the aftermath.

               Rei emerged completely from her cocoon, crossing her arms across her chest. “Excuse me?” she asked, glaring at Kakashi. “We’ll help? Since when do you make both of our decisions? I don’t want to do this!”

               Kakashi squeezed the little box in his hand and sighed. The moment was gone. Toshio lumbed forward and sniffed his hand, then licked his fingers. Kakashi gently swatted him away as he slid the engagement ring discretely back into the drawer, pulled out his mask instead, and slipped it on. “It could be a lot of fun” he said, though even he didn’t fully believe it. Chasing eight year olds was not necessarily his idea of the perfect day either, regardless of how much he liked kids. He would’ve much rather spent his day celebrating an engagement. He was going to remain at least mildly bitter about this.

               Rei groaned and trudged dramatically out of bed, rooting around her drawers for clean underwear. “I’m telling you, Kakashi, this is a bad idea. B-A-D, bad. I mean… I don’t know how to talk to little kids!”

               “Well, you can teach them how to spell” Kakashi offered, stepping into his pants. Rei glared back at him, unamused.

               “Very funny” she said blankly. “I mean it, Kakashi. I don’t know how to do this sort of shit. What do kids even like these days? How am I supposed to relate to them? Make them like me?”

                “They’ll like you” he reassured. “Just treat them like everyone else. They’re human, too, you know.”

               Rei cocked a brow. “Are you sure about that?” she asked. “Because I once saw one of them launch a bento box onto a third story roof. There is no way that is human.”

               Kakashi chuckled as he slipped his shirt on over his head. “And here I thought you wanted kids someday” he commented.

               Whipping around, Rei faced him with a strange, complicated expression. One of shock, uncertainty, fear, and perhaps even disbelief. “I never said I didn’t” Rei replied. “But just because I want kids doesn’t mean I’m good at interacting with them.”

               Kakashi’s head popped up out of the collar of his shirt, his hair consequently messier than before. As he approached the door, he rested a hand on Rei’s lower back and for a moment she thought he was going to reassure her, tell her that everything would be fine and that he knew she could handle this. Or even that he would be okay with her skipping out. The answer she received, however, fulfilled neither. “Then consider this good practice” he grinned. Dumbfounded, Rei watched him disappear into the living room.

               The academy training grounds were littered with hoards of children shrieking and chasing each other with wild abandon. Tents dappled the yard, jonin leaders setting up different physical activities inside each. The mere sight of so much activity clearly excited Toshio—he could hardly keep himself contained. Rei squeezed Kakashi’s hand lightly, her anxiety spiking the nearer they came. She wondered how easy it would be to just disappear, to break free of Kakashi’s grasp and make a run for it. Blend into the scenery. Not that she would be able to bypass Kakashi. He could always see through her ruse. “Everything’s going to be fine” he whispered to her, and she hoped to heaven that that was true.

               Iruka met Kakashi’s eyes and smiled. He was standing among a group of other jonin leaders, Guy included. Rei saw his mouth move, but could not make out what he was saying. Of course that only fueled her imagination further. She imagined him telling them of how one of the kids already puked on theirself from heat exhaustion, or that two of them got in a fight and gave each other bloody lips. And then Guy whipped around and raced toward them and Rei’s panic took a new turn. “There you are!” he shuted. “You’re late! Per usual, Kakashi.” He wrapped an arm around his eternal rival and gave a big thumbs up back to the others, guiding Kakashi and Rei toward the group.

               “Glad to see you both could make it” Iruka greeted them with a warm smile. Rei regarded him, the scar on her nose burning. She wondered if Iruka felt the same disdain for his own. She always felt strange in his presence due to those scars, identical in nature and origin. As if it was something that bound two otherwise perfectly separate people.

               Rei reached down to entangle her fingers in Toshio’s thick fur, but when he caught sight of Akamaru across the field, he barked happily and bolted away from her. Great, Rei thought to herself. Even he’s making himself comfortable.

               Kurenai’s voice shot Rei from her daze. “We really appreciate you both helping out” she said. “I wasn’t sure what was going to happen if we couldn’t find replacements.”

               “It’s not a problem” Kakashi replied with a smile. “Who had to cancel, anyway?”

               Asuma flicked some ash off his cigarette and replied, “Kei and Mizuho. Said they both came down with a stomach virus but if you ask me, I think Mizuho might be knocked up.”

               “Asuma!” Kurenai exclaimed, her face turning bright red. Contrary to his apparent belief, she truly believed Asuma did not have to be so blunt all the time. And besides, Mizuho’s personal life was none of their business. They had no right to stand around and gossip like they were.

               Guy furrowed his brows and shook his head, then his eyes dropped to the cigarette between Asuma’s lips. “You know, I really don’t think it’s a good idea to be smoking like that around so many kids” he commented.

               Asuma frowned. Just as he was about to rebuke, a familiar face entered the scene, ripping the cigarette from his mouth and stomping it into the ground. “If I can’t smoke, neither can you” Sekkachi said, eyeing him.

               Rei nearly choked on her own spit. “W-what are you doing here?” she asked. Sekkachi + children seemed an even more unlikely combination than Rei + children did. The fact that even she would take time out of her day for this was, quite frankly, bizarre.

               Tightening her ponytail, Sekkachi turned to face Rei with a smug grin. “Guy said he needed my help and I couldn’t possibly tell him no” she replied bluntly. “Besides, I could use a bit of a challenge.”

               Scoffing, Rei rolled her eyes and muttered “You and me both.”

               Just then, from among the crowd of preparations, a young Hinata Hyuga came rushing up to the adults. “Kurenai-sensei!” she shouted, breathless. Kurenai cocked a brow, instantly alert. It was clear she was bracing herself for the worst. After Hinata caught her breath, she continued, “It seems that everything has been set up, and we’re ready to start.”

               “Perfect. Thank you, Hinata” Kurenai replied. She turned to the others, looking to Guy in particular, and asked, “Where are we all assigned?” She wasn’t entirely sure why she was asking Guy this—it wasn’t like he was the head of operations for jonin volunteers. Perhaps it was mainly because he was the most enthusiastic, he just seemed to ooze leadership.

               Iruka pulled a small clipboard from his back pouch and began skimming down the list. “Guy, you and Lee will be referees for one on one taijutsu battles” he began. Guy grinned despite clearly already knowing his assignment. There was really nowhere else that made sense for him to oversee. “Kurenai, you and Hinata will run the parachute popcorn. Asuma will do baseball, Kakashi will be responsible for tug of war, Sekkachi will do the sack race, and Rei will do the water balloon toss since your chakra nature is water, correct?”

               Rei blinked before nodding frantically. “Y-yeah! Water! Right! Of course!” she affirmed. Sekkachi couldn’t help but laugh at how unhinged she was becoming. As Iruka set his volunteers free, Sekkachi slapped Rei hard on the back and murmured something condescending about not letting the kids eat her alive. Thanks for that, she thought to herself, frowning. As the others departed, she hung back to scan the area in an effort to find her station. Kakashi, however, could clearly see through her procrastination.

               “Everything is going to be fine” he assured her. He rubbed her lower back in support and then pointed to the far left by the fence. “You’ll be right over there” he said, then turned his gaze to the opposite end of the field. “And if you need me, I’ll be right there.” The vast distance between them was unsettling. She didn’t like the idea of him being so far away should she need him. He brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her forehead then, murmuring, “You’re going to do great” before heading off to his own assignment. Rei watched him depart, her heart aching slightly, before she turned toward her own demise.

               The premise of the water balloon toss was simple: two students stand face to face throwing a water balloon back and forth, increasing the distance with every successful catch. As Rei approached, she noticed there was already a line of children forming, eager to begin their game. Rei gulped back her anxiety and pressed forward. A young man of about fifteen was filling up the last of the balloons with a water pump. There was a look of stern concentration on his face. His brown hair was pulled back into a low ponytail reaching almost to his waist, and then she saw his eyes. Byakugan. He was no doubt a Hyuga.

               “You’re late” he said without looking up at her.

               Rei froze. It was ridiculous how a teenager could terrify the living daylights out of her and yet here she was. With a sheepish smile, she rubbed the back of neck and replied, “Sorry, I was, uh…just making sure I knew the layout of the events.”

               For a split second, a small smile tugged at the corner of the boy’s mouth. “I can certainly see the compatibility between you and Kakashi-sensei” he commented. He finished filling up the last of the water balloons and then stood. He was roughly an inch or so taller than Rei, only adding to the intimidation.

               “I was unaware my love life was making its rounds in even the student gossip circles” Rei muttered, more to herself than anything. She thought back to her pregnancy scare, the way Sakura overheard everything. What else did she know? What else had she said to the others? Rei scanned the area, suddenly self-conscious, wondering what kinds of intel the rest of these kids had on her. She hoped to god they at least didn’t know she was an ANBU.

               The boy casually counted the water balloons in the bucket as he replied, “When you’re the student of someone like Guy-sensei, it’s hard not to hear about other people’s lives.”

               Oh great, Rei thought to herself. So it wasn’t the kids she should be worried about in the first place. She should’ve known Guy was subject to gossip. Sighing, Rei shook her head and replied, “I guess there’s no point in a formal introduction then.”

               “That is not necessarily true” the boy replied. He approached the line of children and paired them off, handing each couple a water balloon. “If we are supposed to spend the rest of the day together, then I would prefer introductions. Whatever I know about you is merely fabricated from other people’s opinions, anyway.”

               “Okay…” Rei said slowly. She began assisting in handing out water balloons. “Well, in that case, I’m Rei Natsuki and it’s nice to meet you…?”

               “The pleasure is mine” he replied formally. “I am Neji Hyuga. I look forward to working with you.”

               This kid is so formal, Rei thought to herself. He seemed no-nonsense and so much more mature than she had expected. Maybe this wasn’t going to be a disaster after all. She crossed her fingers and hoped the rest of the day would go smoothly.

               Quite frankly, she hadn’t been paying very close attention to the children she was serving. Her body functioned almost automatically, grabbing a new balloon every time the one in her hand was taken. As her and Neji introduced themselves, however, she noticed she had been holding onto her current balloon for far longer than she had expected. Blinking, she slowly turned to face an unamused, snot-nosed child.

               “I don’t want that one!” he shouted, his voice drilling a hole right through Rei’s head.

               “Oh…?” she asked, genuinely confused. “And what’s the matter with it?”

               “It’s yellow! I hate yellow!” the kid replied. “I want a blue one!”

               Rei paused a moment before peering back into the bucket. There were currently only three water balloons left, none of which were blue. “Well, uh, it looks like you’re out of luck” Rei replied. She pasted an apologetic smile on her face, a part of her reaching for the sad hope that the kid would resign to his fate. Of course he was prepared to put up a fight.

               “But I want a blue one!” he screamed. “Make me a blue one!”

               Neji watched with brow cocked and Rei turned to him searching his face for some sort of answer as to what she was supposed to do. Would it be wrong to just blow up another one? They had barely made a dent in the sack of balloons they were pulling from. Besides, if it shut this kid up, then what was the problem? The problem, Rei deduced, was that if they gave special treatment to one kid, then all the others would demand the same. It was just a stupid water balloon. It was going to explode eventually anyway.

               When he noticed Rei floundering, Neji cleared his throat and intervened. “I don’t think the color really matters” he said. “Now, go off and play or else you’ll hold up the line.”

               The boy stared back at Neji for a moment, dumbfounded, before slamming the water balloon on the ground. Rei gasped as it exploded, splashing both her and Neji, who frowned at such disrespect. “Now make me a blue one!” the child insisted.

               Rei was really beginning to reach the end of her rope here. They had only been at this for fifteen minutes and already she was losing her cool. This was not going to go well. Sucking her teeth, she knelt down to the kid’s level (which unfortunately for her wasn’t that far) and spoke in a stern tone with him. “Listen, kid, you had a chance to accept the balloon you were given but you decided to make a fuss and now you’ve gone and ruined the only balloon you were going to get. If you keep this up, I’m going to have no choice but to sit you in a corner and you won’t be able to play at all, is that understood?”

               The kid narrowed his eyes at her, a challenge, before crossing his arms and sticking his chin up. “I don’t care” he said. “I dare you to put me in a timeout! My mother won’t be very happy to hear that someone like you kept me from having fun.”

               “Oh, is that so?” Rei laughed incredulously. “As if she’d be happy to hear you were disrespecting the adults.”

               The boy pursed his lips. “It’s okay if they’re stupid!” he insisted. And then his eyes wandered to the other pairs happily playing together, and he spotted a coveted blue balloon. With a sly grin, he stomped toward the two young girls laughing and chatting, totally unsuspecting. Rei saw his plan unfolding before her eyes and knew this needed to stop. She had no clue what lengths he was willing to go to but she needed to ensure this did not escalate beyond her capacity. She saw his hand reach out to grip one of the girl’s wrists and her body automatically kicked into gear.

               The boy gasped as Rei reached out and spun him around by the shoulders, then gripped his hand and began carting him toward the academy. He squirmed and screamed, insisting he was being kidnapped and someone come save him, she’s going to eat me! But Rei didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care that she could feel the eyes of every other adult watching her, likely judging her or thinking she was taking things too far. He needed to know that he couldn’t get away with defiance and violence. He needed to know that the ninja world he apparently wanted to enter was not going to cater to his every whim.  

               Rei kicked open the door of an empty classroom, the windows along the back wall giving a perfect view to the day’s festivities. She released her grip on the boy’s wrist and pointed to the nearest chair, demanding, “You. Sit. Now.” The boy rolled his eyes and did not do as he was told. Sighing, Rei leapt up to sit upon the desk and watched him with arms crossed. “The sooner you comply, the sooner you can go back out there. Just know that I can do this all damn day” she said.

               The boy approached the window and began poking at the dirt of some plants on the sill. Rei recognized them as bean sprouts, likely a class project. She vaguely remembered doing the same in her youth. “You can’t keep me here, you know!” the boy exclaimed. “This is illegal! This is kidnapping! This is abuse!”

               Laughing, Rei shook her head. “I was approved by the school to work as your superior, it’s not illegal for me to reprimand someone who refuses to cooperate” she explained.

               Pouting, the boy muttered, “Quit using big words I don’t understand.”

               Dammit. She forgot not all eight year olds read at a seventh grade reading level. Rolling her eyes, she replied, “Alright, let me put this so that you’ll understand. If you behave yourself and listen to me then you can go back out with your friends but if you don’t, you’re not going to leave this room for the rest of the day.”

               “That’s so unfair!” the boy protested.

               “Life’s unfair, kid! Get used to it” Rei replied back. “Now you can either sit down and shut up for the next twenty minutes or you can buy yourself more time inside. The choice is yours.”

               The boy stood there staring her down for a moment, as if he expected her to budge if he tried hard enough, but it was no use. Rei’s gaze was harder, darker, stronger. Finally, he huffed and sank down into the nearest chair, crossing his arms and swinging his legs back and forth impatiently. They sat there in silence for a long while, and as they did all Rei could think about was how this must be the same level of bullshit that Kakashi dealt with every day. How did he even manage this? She had no clue. She peered out the window and watched him referee tug of war from across the field, cheering the kids on and keeping a sharp eye on the rope as it teetered from one side of the midway point to the other. He really is going to make a great father someday, she thought to herself. She only hoped she could live up to the same standards. As it currently stood, she wasn’t doing too hot.

               Kakashi stood beside Kiba chapeoroning the children still at his station. It was nearing noon and the traffic had since dwindled as students, sweaty and starving, began making their way to the food stands. With less children to keep an eye on, Kakashi’s mind was allotted far more space to wander and of course his thoughts were mainly of Rei. He wondered how she was managing, if her fears were unfounded or if she had been torn to shreds by nasty little kids. Deep down, he began to regret ever dragging her into this. He should’ve respected her wishes when she said she was uncomfortable with this, let her stay home and enjoy her day off in a much quieter manner. Really, he was just being selfish. The thought of them both engaging with children made him slightly excited. In Rei’s line of work, kids weren’t part of the equation like they were for him. Having the chance to see her among children, engaging in an arguably maternal setting, made his heart soar. He yearned to see her laugh and romp and run with the kids, proof that she wasn’t as bad at this as she feared she was. He knew she was far more capable than she gave herself credit for. She had to be.

               A piercing wail snapped Kakashi from his thoughts, whipping around toward the source of the sound. Before him, a young girl was on the ground screaming, tears running down her cheeks and blood on her knees and palms of her hands. Her end of the rope snaked around her knobby little knees. Kakashi rushed over immediately, kneeling down beside her. “Hey, what happened?” he asked softly.

               “H-He pulled too hard and I f-fell!” the little girl cried, pointing to her opponent. Kakashi looked up at him, an upperclassman with all the makings of a classic bully. He seemed to hold no remorse for what he had done.

               “Is that true?” Kakashi asked the boy.

               “Yeah, and what about it?” he replied back sourly. “If she’s not strong enough to hold her own then she doesn’t deserve to be here.” The thought of having failed made the little girl wail even harder.

               While there was an ounce of truth in his words, Kakashi couldn’t bring himself to condone such disrespect. He scooped the little girl up onto his hip and stared down at the boy, replying, “As much as I admire your ambition, I think it would do you well to remember that this is not a battle to the death. If you can’t bring yourself to respect your comrades and treat them fairly in a sparring match, then maybe you don’t deserve to be here.” And with that, he carried the little girl off to the medic tent.

               She buried her face in his shoulder and wept silently, her tears soaking Kakashi’s vest. And then she whimpered quietly, “I-I’m sorry, Kakashi-sensei…”

               “Huh?” Kakashi asked, looking down at her. “What are you sorry for?”

               “I made a big mess of everything” she whispered. “He was right. I don’t deserve to be here.”

               Kakashi shook his head, and for a moment he saw a young Rei reflected in her scrunched up face. A twinge of pain struck his chest as he remembered their youth, the way he had wasted so much energy putting her abilities down. “Sometimes people say things they don’t really mean” Kakashi replied. “But I wouldn’t worry about him one bit.” He gave her that trademark masked smile in reassurance. “You just keep working hard and don’t let anything anyone else says stop you from becoming a ninja. Anyone can be successful so long as they’re willing to put in the work.”

               “You think so?” the little girl asked. She wiped the snot from her nose with the back of her hand, then as discretely as possible tried to wipe her hand on Kakashi’s vest. Not that she could really hide anything from him and his sharingan, but he was not about to scold her for something so trivial.

               Kakashi nodded. “But I wouldn’t worry about all of that now” he said. “The top priority is getting you fixed up.”

               “D-do you think I’ll be okay?” she asked, a quiver suddenly overtaking her voice. “W-what if I broke a bone? Or got an infection? What if I’ll never walk again?!”

               Her hypochondria was honestly quite charming. Kakashi chuckled and shook his head, reaching the medic tent. He set her down slowly, knelt to her eye level, brushed the wispy little stray hairs out of her sweaty and glowing face. “Don’t you worry, kid. Everything is going to be just fine” he reassured her. Her cheeks burned bright red now that she saw him fully, up close and face to face, and she dropped her eyes to the ground shyly. Kakashi rested a hand atop her head and grinned at her as Sakura came nearer. “This is Sakura, and she’s going to take very good care of you, alright?” Kakashi continued. The little girl slowly turned her gaze to Sakura approaching, leaning down to better view her new patient.

               “Thank you, Kakashi-sensei…” the little girl murmured, then after a moment of hesitation, leapt forward to wrap her arms around his neck in a childish hug. Kakashi couldn’t help but laugh as he rested a hand upon her back, then pulled away momentarily and left Sakura to her patient. The kunoichi extended a hand for the little girl to take and guided her toward one of the cots in the medic tent, thanking Kakashi over her shoulder as she went. She was no stranger to how docile and comforting Kakashi could secretly be; she was glad to see he was extending that kindness to the children, as well.

               Kakashi’s heart swelled as he watched them depart, then turned to make his way back to his own station. As he went, however, his eyes landed on the water balloon toss and all the good feelings vanished. Rei was nowhere to be found.

               Neji watched the children with a keen eye as a handful of them continued to toss water balloons back and forth. He seemed to not pay any mind to Kakashi until the copy ninja spoke. “Neji, I thought Rei was supposed to be working with you” he said

               “I thought the same” Neji replied, “but it seems she has taken it upon herself to become the disciplinarian.” Kakashi cocked a brow in confusion, an anxious uncertainty overwhelming him as he waited for an elaboration and feared for the worst.

               Inside the academy, Rei and this boy had reached an impasse. He was growing antsy, he couldn’t sit still. He kept checking the clock, peeking out the window, glancing to the door as if planning at any moment to stand and make a run for it. “You can’t really do this all day” he finally said, tone accusatory. “You’ve gotta be just as bored as I am.”

               Chuckling, Rei shook her head, drawing her legs up to sit cross-legged upon the desk and leaning forward. “Try me” she tested.

               The boy rolled his eyes and scoffed, falling back into his chair. “Who even are you, anyway? You’re not an instructor and I know you’re not a jonin leader, either” he asked.

               “If you keep testing me, I’ll be your worst nightmare” Rei replied bluntly. The boy seemed dissatisfied with her answer, but not so much in an arrogant way as it was frustrated. Perhaps he was, for once, being genuine in his inquiries. Sighing, Rei added with a little more softness, “I’m just another shinobi in the village, alright? I know a lot of the people who work with the school and when they were short on volunteers, I stepped up to the plate. That’s all there is to it.”

               “Why did you volunteer if you hate kids so much?” he asked. The question, admittedly, caught Rei off-guard.

               “I don’t hate kids” she defended. “What makes you think I hate kids?” The boy stared back at her as if she was dense, and she quickly realized the current situation was perhaps reason enough to an eight year old. “Oh…” she murmured, dropping her eyes to the floor. “I see what you mean.”

               “It’s so unfair that you’re keeping me here like this!” the boy insisted. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

               “You were causing a scene” Rei insisted. “You were disrespectful to your superiors and you nearly picked a fight with an innocent bystander all because you didn’t get what you wanted. Don’t even try and say you didn’t do anything.”

               Rolling his eyes, the boy stuck his tongue out at her and fell back into his seat. At this rate, they really were going to be here all day. As much as she insisted that she could stay there for as long as this took, deep down this was the last place Rei wanted to be. So much for a relaxing day off. She raked her fingers through her hair, smoothing her bangs back in the process, and sighed. As she did so, she could feel the boy’s eyes lock on her face. Rei’s heart leapt into her throat as she prepared for the worst.

               “How did you get that big scar on your face?” he then asked.

               Rei blinked, taken aback by the question. “Huh?” she asked.

               “Your scar” the boy repeated. “Where did it come from?” There was a strange twinkle in his eye now, something indicative of his yearning. Rei wasn’t sure she wanted to give him the satisfaction.

               “I wouldn’t worry about it” she said bluntly, casting her gaze out toward the fields. “It’s really not that big a deal.”

               “It looks just like Iruka-sensei’s scar” the boy observed. “Did you get it in a big fight? Were you guys up against some cool enemy? I wish I had a cool scar.”

               “You think scars are cool?” Rei couldn’t help but laugh.

               The boy nodded. “Yeah! Super cool!” he exclaimed. “I especially like Kakashi-sensei’s scar. That’s how he got his sharingan, right? So what’s the cool story behind yours? Does yours give you a cool superpower, too? Like super smell!”

               Where was this kid getting such insane ideas? Though frankly, Rei couldn’t really complain. This was the most pleasant he had been all day. Leaning back against the desk, Rei shook her head and replied, “Sorry to break it to you, kid, but this scar isn’t anything special. You want to know how I got it? I got it because I was being an ass.” The boy looked at her in confusion, an expression begging for elaboration. “I wasn’t much older than you were, and my sensei decided to shake things up. She said we were getting too comfy in our genin teams so she and the other jonin leaders teamed up to have us try working with other teammates. I wasn’t having any of it, though. I didn’t care and I got too hasty. I wasn’t thinking and I almost got someone killed: Iruka-sensei. My sensei saw what was happening and intervened but it was too late. I made a wrong move and this is what I have to show for it.” Here, she pointed to the scar across the bridge of her nose and made a sour face. “This isn’t some emblem of pride or anything. It’s a daily reminder of the mistakes I’ve made and the fact that as a shinobi, I am constantly responsible for the lives of other people. One wrong move and I could put all of my comrades at risk and that is the worst thing you can ever do as a ninja.” She thought of Kakashi, of all those that he had lost and how painful the memory of his sharingan was for him. Now that they lived together, there were no secrets between either of them. She recollected a night when he snapped awake from a nightmare, and she caught him in the bathroom staring at his reflection, staring at his secondhand eye, and crying. She had wrapped her arms around him and just held him for a long while before he calmed, and it was admittedly the most vulnerable and emotional she had ever seen him. But that was what she had signed up for in loving him—all the broken parts were just part of the package. The pain would likely never fade.

               The boy blinked and stared at her with a newfound understanding of the situation at hand. “Do you mean that…that I could’ve done the same damage t-to that girl…?” he asked slowly, quietly. Rei didn’t want to spook him, but she was not about to lie to him, either. She nodded somberly, and the boy’s wide eyes dropped to the ground. “I’m sorry…” he whispered.

               “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to” Rei replied. “You haven’t hurt me at all. That little girl is the one who deserves an apology.”

               Furrowing his brows, the boy gazed up at her and for a moment she expected him to cry. “I’m sorry to you, too, though” he said. “Because of me, you’re stuck in here instead of being outside with everyone else.”

               Rei shrugged and dismissed his apology. “It’s really not that big a deal” she said. “Honestly, it’s worth it if I can teach you a lesson.”

               “Do all scars come from bad things?” the boy then asked. Pursing her lips, Rei locked her eyes on the floor and considered his question. She hadn’t expected things to suddenly get so deep.

               “Sometimes” she said. “Sometimes scars can be from surgeries, which are honestly something positive because it means you’re taking care of yourself and making sure you’re healthy but you never really need surgery unless something bad has happened” she explained. “Sometimes they can be from yourself, too. Like…like when you get so angry about something, and you know it’s all your fault, and you just…feel like you need to take it out on yourself. Never do that to yourself, kid—it’s not worth it and just causes more harm than good.” Rei’s forearms began to sting at the thought, and she was grateful that it was still just cool enough outside to get away with wearing long sleeves. If all children were as inquisitive and observant as this one, then the aftermath of her own self hatred would hardly go unnoticed. Sucking in a deep breath, Rei continued, “But most of the time, scars are from battles you fight in the field. The important thing to remember, though, is that…well, not all scars are visible.”

               The boy eyed her curiously, leaning forward in his desk. “What do you mean?” he asked.

               “In the ninja world, everyday you have to make some really difficult decisions” Rei started. Her voice was low and serious now, and she had fully captured this boy’s attention. “Sometimes people die and there’s nothing you can do about it. What’s done is done.” She thought of Obito, Rin, Sakumo, Naru. All those who were gone before their time. “That…that sadness stays with you. That’s why it’s so important to never abandon your comrades, or hurt them. Because they’re the ones who are supposed to stay by your side no matter what. You have to work with them and protect them, and they in turn have to work with and protect you. Without them, you’re nothing.”

               A meaningful silence enveloped the room then as the weight of Rei’s words hung heavy in the air. She could tell through this boy’s expression that something had changed within him and she hoped that beyond this classroom, he would carry these lessons with him for years to come. They were important and something she knew they could never truly teach in the classroom. He probably didn’t even fully understand it all yet but if she could impart at least a portion of wisdom upon him, then perhaps when he was faced with that decision in the field, he would remember that strange woman at field day and it would all finally click.

               Before anything could be said in response on the matter, the door slid open and Kakashi popped his head in. “There you two are” he smiled. “I’ve been looking for you.” The boy immediately sat up straight and exercised a sense of decorum that Rei had never fully expected of him. Funny how being legendary among the five great nations commanded such respect. Kakashi’s one exposed eye shifted from Rei to the boy and back as he then asked, “Is everything okay in here?”

               Rei nodded, replying, “Yeah, we were just engaging in a very valuable lesson. You know, what classrooms are for.” She slapped the desktop like she was a used car salesman trying to make a deal. The boy gave a single nod, though in his face there was uncertainty and perhaps even a rising panic. Rei glanced back at the clock. It was 15 minutes past noon. She was sure lunch was in full swing by now. This little boy was probably hungry out of his mind. She glanced out the window then cocked her head toward the door. “I think we’ve made enough progress for today” she told the boy. “You’re free to go.” Without a moment of hesitation, he leapt to his feet and raced down the hallway without so much as saying thank you or goodbye. Kids, she thought to herself, rolling her eyes.

               Once they were alone, Kakashi stepped fully into the classroom and rubbed Rei’s back tenderly. “Neji told me what happened” he said. “Sounds like you’ve had a rough morning.”

               “Eh, it wasn’t that bad” Rei lied, waving him off. Again, she couldn’t hide anything from Kakashi.

               “Kids can be difficult, I know” he replied. “I’m surprised you took the initiative that you did.”

               “I’m already prepared to get in trouble for it” Rei sighed. “I know I overstepped my bounds. He wasn’t my kid to reprimand. I just…I got so worked up when he refused to listen, and then he almost hit that little girl and I just--!”

               “I know” Kakashi soothed. “I think you did the right thing.”

               “Huh?” Rei asked. She hadn’t expected a compliment, and she searched his masked face for any indication that he was lying.

               Kakashi leaned back against the desk and repeated, “I think you did the right thing. Kids these days need to understand that they can’t get everything they want, and they can’t go around wreaking havoc every time someone tells them no.”

               “That’s exactly what I was thinking!” Rei exclaimed. “I mean, when they get tossed out into the world, they won’t know what hit them. They’re so unprepared.”

               “Do you think the academy is doing a bad job at raising them?” Kakashi asked.

               Rei shook her head. “No” she replied confidently. “Because it’s not the academy’s job to turn them into respectable people. I think their parents are doing a bad job of raising them.”

               Kakashi couldn’t help but chuckle. “And here I thought you didn’t know how to handle children” he said. “It’s funny hearing criticism on parenting coming from you.”

               “Hey, just because I’m bad with kids doesn’t mean I can’t tell a good parent from a bad one” Rei defended. “I’m no model citizen. I don’t deserve a trophy for the way I deal with kids. I’m still not proud of everything that’s happened so far today.”

               Shaking his head, Kakashi turned to her and replied, “I think you’re better at this than you think you are.” There was a certain tenderness in his gaze, a warmth that made her feel all mushy inside. He brushed the bangs out of her face and pressed his forehead against hers, murmured, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You know, after today I really think you’re going to make a great mother someday.”

               Rei rolled her eyes, trying to play it cool, but secretly her stomach was twisting. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better” she insisted.

               Kakashi drew back and smiled. “I mean that, Rei” he replied. And he really did. She wasn’t perfect but then again, no one was. It was her drive that mattered. She had only acted in these children’s best interests. Her primary focus was keeping them safe. And that was all anyone could ever ask for. That was what made a good mother, even. Seeing her like this only further enforced his yearning to spend the rest of his life with her. To raise a family with her. After today, he had never been more excited for the future, and for the day that they, together, would raise their own child.