#i am so stunted when it comes to accepting affection and tenderness from my mom
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
therapists of tumblr why do i feel overwhelmingly guilty when people do nice things for me
#i'm moving away and people are being so nice and comforting to me and it is so hard for me to not shy away from all of it#it's so hard#i'm guessing this has a lot to do with being the child of emotionally unavailable parents#now how do i fix it#it's made worse by the fact that my mom has done so many incredibly sweet things for me during this moving process#i am so stunted when it comes to accepting affection and tenderness from my mom#i love her so much but i am such a tangle of the world's most confusing emotions right now
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
ABC- For Everyone
late festivities. ll accepting.
A : AFFECTION. how does your muse show affection?
Aerith: See, Aerith is a bit odd. She’s ultimately a good person, and a fantastic friend, but she’s very out of practice in letting others in and demonstrating her feelings. Part of this is her backstory, part of this is just the hard knock life she’s led. For the most part in canon, her affection is a little mischievous, a little chaotic, being the one that goes along with your wild ideas and giving her all to your aims. But it’s also thought, letters written and wishes made, the same care and attention she would give her garden. Aerith is not a woman that shows her affections easily, but is no less devoted once you get around her rougher edges.
Albel: He doesn’t. For the last nine years, Albel has not had a speck of affection in him for anything, living or dead or self. Even his once close bond to his deceased father has soured in his heart to a further reflection of his failures. Tenderness or adoration are beyond him. That said... I think he would display it in respect, or in curiosity. For a wicked man such as himself, simply taking the time to listen to another’s opinion or invest himself in their affairs is a great show of trust. I also think he would, over time, get more physical without getting violent, like a child just learning how to navigate the world. There is something simultaneously mature and overall boyish about this, which is why he does not let such sentiments rise to the surface.
Angela: She’s a healer, so it falls on her to want to take care of those she feels strongly for. Besides this, Angela is a taciturn woman, and I think she uses her words to great effect if someone can coax them from her. Whether she’s singing praises or taking someone to task, her voice will be used to demonstrate just what someone means to her. There’s also the possibility she will geek out about her hobbies and interests with someone who has won her affections, all too eager to get them up to speed so they can keep up with her interests. The act is repaid in kind, as she looks into her loved one’s interests and gains at least a rudimentary understanding of how it works or what it’s about. Catch her with lots of useless video game trivia to keep up with Hana, for example, or basic knowledge of bike maintenance for Mako.
Aria: A more in-depth answer can be found here.
Aqua: Oh my God Aqua is such a giver. It’s in her nature to mother others, to show her affection in gifts and in tender care for them. She’s all handmade gifts and homecooked food, deep concern tempered with constant support, the peak of team mom. While this is sometimes tempered by her self-righteousness, such as her worry for others manifesting as nagging, her heart is as ever in the right place. Her affections are also very self sacrificing, as she will take the fall for her loved ones without fail and try to take their burdens on as her own. At her best, her love is a gentle and homely thing, and at worst she will let it take everything she has so long as the object of her affection is alright.
Braska: Actions. Above all else, Braska is a man who acts. While his tongue is silvery and his heart too big for his own good, he is more of a doer than a talker. This is a man who turned his back on the church and his own lifelong training for the love of a foreign woman, and who later decided to lay down his own life to try and spare his daughter some pain. He spares Auron, in my telling, by leaving him behind out of love, though it does nothing to spare Auron in the long run. Even his taking a chance on Jecht is a leap of faith that pays off in the long run, and shows the depth of their bond. Even if he ought to think things out a little more thoroughly, he puts his money where his mouth is every time he feels strongly for someone.
Eraqus: Stern as he is, Eraqus has always shown his affection recklessly and sometimes in a very troublesome way. He is always willing to forgive and grant second chances, whether romantically as seen with Xehanort or as a matter of familial affinity, as seen with Terra. He puts care into everything he does for those who have won his loyalty, and works to show it in his own ways -- the time he offers others, and the encouragement he shows them. As a younger man, I think he was far more open about his affection, and more physical about it as well. He was less judgmental then, too, and as part of his adulthood affection he is at least willing to hear out those who disagree with him rather than shutting them down completely.
Gwynevere: Honesty and physical affection are the cornerstones of Gwynevere’s genuine affections. She puts forth the face of the all loving goddess, but her real love is shown in simply being herself around another person. She won’t beat around the bush or try to trick others, only show them how she really feels for them and those around them. She is also liberal with physical affection, anything from a touch of the hand to an embrace, and for lovers there is an ever-present sensual element from a woman who must always be above such things in the public eye.
Inessa: Inessa is actions and giving, to be honest. She shows affection for her community by being an ever present sentinel in Lowtown, ready to help as she is needed or sees need. Diligence is what makes affection in her eyes, the time and effort put into others sure to be repaid even if she does not work for that reason. Faithful as she is, she puts goodwill and prayers without actual attempts to see your desires made reality in low regard, something that has led to a lot of her friction with the Chantry of late.
Invi: Reserved as she is, Invi’s presence alone is one way she shows her affections. If she likes you, she will tolerate being around you for longer than is strictly necessary, and without any ulterior motives to boot. Being observant, she might also ensure little tokens or treats are left where the person she cares for can access them, never owning up to these things but responsible all the same. There’s also the chance she invite someone into her personal space or day and that is when you know you have made it with her.
Isa: This is actually very hard to answer because in canon, we see his affection as a child manifesting in ‘I am going to roast you alive but also I will go along with your dumbass idea because I love you’ and as a Nobody in displays of great possessiveness and rage. His actions towards Lea/Axel have always been a little antagonistic, but to what degree varies between his state of being. I think he might be the kind of person who shows his affinity in time spent together and being easily compelled into whatever the other person wants. Given my take on his backstory, I think he’s emotionally stunted even putting aside his inhuman rage issues, and so he’s not entirely sure what to do to show how he feels about others on any positive level.
Kokoro: Local Blue Blood Lets Down Her Defenses In Show of Trust, Lets Herself Be Human and Make Mistakes. But seriously, Kokoro is a person who is all about appearances and keeping up a front, so her affection comes more in letting others see her be more down to earth and laid back. I have said before that she shows her love in being able to admit she doesn’t know something, but it’s also in admitting she’s wrong or made some mistake. The sins of the father have definitely influenced her to channel her affections in a more healthy way, and acknowledge those moments where she lets the people she cares for down.
Roxas: Ice cream and fighting a cult. No literally. The boy is a trained child soldier whose only brushes with softness involve eating sweet snacks with other child soldiers, former or otherwise. This is what he was taught friendship is. He’s got to figure out for himself the shape his affection takes when he’s not fighting a war.
Shizuka: Flashing cash and offered favors. Shizuka’s got shaky identity and self-worth ideals, so they fall back on using their resources to reward those who get close to them sincerely. Some who are very close to them get more genuine shows of affection, the ability to hold them or be held, and heart to heart conversations, but for the most part Shizuka is the kind to pull strings rather than get into any ‘sappy shit.’
Zevran: I swear I am not shitposting, flanderizing, or making fun of him, but how doesn’t Zevran show affection? Realistically, though, he’s very protective with those he cares for, and tends to let them in a little deeper to see the mess he is under the ladykiller facade. He can be something of a good person for them, and that’s the most he can give. He’s still a little too broken to fully form an idea of how to show affection that isn’t saccharine or bombastic.
B : BOUQUET. does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?
Aerith: She absolutely adores flowers. Her people are tied to the planet itself, and the ebb and flow of life is shown so beautifully in flowers. She tends to some both as a hobby and to make some money, and so she’s very attached to them. She adores lilies best of all.
Albel: Once given a flower by a female peer of his fathers, immediately bit it off of the stem. He’s from a harsh winter environment backed up against desolate flatland and mountain ranges, so he is unused to them in any capacity. Still mesmerized by the red spider lily.
Angela: They’re alright, but not really a priority. She’s so used to hospital flowers that the appeal is kind of lost, though she might still hang a few cheaper bouquets on her desk to try and spruce the area up. Show her a proper Alpine bellflower and you might get a nostalgic smile out of her.
Aria: Like might not be the right word, but Aria is certainly aware of various herbs and flowers from the Koccari Wilds to the edge of the Free Marches. She appreciates them as tools, but is not much of an aesthetic admirer. Is fascinated by the vandal aria for which she was named.
Aqua: The land varieties are just fine, but her love for flowers lies in the watery blossoms. She studied them extensively as a child and knows basically everything there is to know about them. Unsurprisingly, she loves the lotuses that grow on the Land of Departure.
Braska: He was never much of a man to stop and smell the roses before his Pilgrimage, so he often overlooked flowers. He’s not very well educated on the different types, but they’re pretty enough.
Eraqus: Coming from a world that was a winter wonderland, Eraqus is absolutely enamored with flowers. His master’s daughter had a balcony garden that was his favorite place to go and decompress after a long day. He is fond of morning glories above all.
Gwynevere: The princess oversees the maintenance of Anor Londo’s vast garden during its glory days. She is a friend to every flower she meets and knows how to care for any variety. Scandalously, her heart belongs to the moonflower for deeply personal reasons.
Inessa: Good flowers are hard to come by Kirkwall, at least for women of her station. The most she has seen of them has come through her work as an apothecary. For this reason, she has decided the marigold is her favorite.
Invi: As the local font of mystical and magical wisdom, Invi is well acquainted with many different plants. The language of flowers is one in which she is fluent, though it has little bearing in her choice of favorite. It’s the water hyacinth, for those interested.
Isa: The man is a Radiant Garden native. There is no conceivable way he escaped being a fan of flowers. Of the many species found on his homeworld, he just had to be enchanted by a dangerous one -- wolf’s bane.
Kokoro: Her mother is aforementioned master’s daughter from Eraqus’ answer. She could never have escaped being educated and invested in flowers. Of the many that her mother grew in her garden, Kokoro gained an affinity for foxglove.
Roxas: He doesn’t know a lot about flowers, admittedly. There wasn’t a lot of time to stop and smell them during his missions, and Marluxia was unbearable even on his best behavior. He feels drawn towards the forget-me-not for reasons he cannot immediately pinpoint.
Zevran: If a poison can be made from it or a message conveyed with it, Zevran is aware of it. He’s learning how to appreciate flowers for just being flowers the longer he’s a free agent. And he’s a cliche who just adores a red rose.
C : CHOCOLATE. does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?
Aerith: It’s ok, but a little out of her budget. Whatever is cheapest gets her vote.
Albel: First had chocolate on the Diplo. It churned his stomach. Disgusting.
Angela: Yes, but only a rich European style or she’s not touching it.
Aria: Humans are out of their gods damned minds thinking this tastes good.
Aqua: As a connoisseur of desserts, absolutely. Loves a good white chocolate.
Braska: Has never heard of chocolate in his life.
Eraqus: Patron saint of sweet teeth. Milk chocolate or don’t talk to him.
Gwynevere: It’s human food and she’s not a plebeian.
Inessa: Had some once as a child. It’s now way out of her budget but she dreams.
Invi: More fond of chocolate products. Loves hot chocolate.
Isa: His body is a temple and only cheat days permit a chocolate/nuts candy bar.
Kokoro: Eh. Not a huge sweets person, but a rich chocolate cake has her number.
Roxas: If it’s not sea salt ice cream don’t fuckin talk to him.
Zevran: Thinks Aria is fucking crazy and any chocolate is good chocolate.
2 notes
·
View notes