#i am ripping shit apart with my teeth rn sorry
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bonestrouslingbones · 7 months ago
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did anyone else just feel 8 years of fandom papyrus growth shatter into a million pieces and fall into the void
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simply-trash5 · 10 months ago
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heeeyyyy do you happen to do trigun 🥺👉👈 also BNHA DILFs is such a vibe rn can we have sum yummy hcs pretty please 🤤 i can't decide who so dealers choice 🥴
Heyyyy anon sweetie!
Sorry I am just now replying, I have the flu so miss girl is struggling. I am planning to watch Trigun so I don’t do it yet, but please come back soon and request because I will once I watch it ✨
So BNHA DILFs huh? Yummy HC will be under the line.
First and foremost let’s assume that all of my DILFS are divorced DILFs ✨ single and on the prowl…
Let’s start with Daddy OneforAll:
DILF Izuku is that big hunk of man with the boyish charm that has NO IDEA how sexy he truly is. I have this idea about you meeting him in the park while he plays with his kids. His kid will accidentally throw a ball where you are reading a book in the shade of a tree and here he comes to retrieve it. Curls falling in his face, a blush covering his cheeks when he notices your beauty that makes his freckles pop…he will stammer a little when he asks for your number…
Next thing you know you’re in his apartment. He arranged for a sitter for his kids and he took you on a date; now he has you on his couch kissing sweetly on your neck asking you if all of this is okay. His large scarred fingers are playing at the hem of your shirt ready and willing to all but rip it from your body.
DILF Izuku is patient and wants to take his time worshipping every inch of your body when he has you laid in front of him. He treats you like a goddess came to earth just for him as he watches you come undone from his tongue while you beg for him to fuck you mercilessly.
“Don’t worry sweetheart…I’m going to give you exactly what you want. Gonna take care of you…”
Next up DILF Bakugo:
Now I HC you meet him at some event for his children. I think his daughters are dancers and maybe you are their instructor and when he caught sight of you in your tights—all bets were off. He began to flirt here and there until he finally was bold enough to ask for your number and take you out.
Now you are bent over his bed being absolutely wrecked as he is pounding into you with a handful of your hair. He is all muscle and hard planes bent over you growling into your ear—“that’s right, be a good fucking girl ‘f me”
Now once he’s made sure he’s ruined you for anyone else he’s going to spoil the absolute shit out of you and show up at your studio all the time—even on patrols just to give you kisses or food or little gifts he thinks you’ll love because you’re one of his girls now and
“I’ll always take care of my girls…”
Now on to DILF Kirishima!
You meet DILF Kiri at the gym—at kids gym of course! He’s taking his little one to kids gym for a day of fun but he catches sight of you lifting and decides you need a little…help..on your form. So he leaves his little one in the caring hands of the instructors and comes over to ask if you want some help. You are stunned and maybe a little grumpy (which he finds cute) but sure why not. After a little fun banter you ask him for his number because he’s hot and you haven’t had a good fu—I mean date in a while.
One thing leads to another and Kiri has you in a mating press in his bed rubbing circles on your clit with those large fingers. You’re in shambles over his frame pressing on you and his cock hitting that spot so well and he’s cooing how ‘aww pretty girl you are doing so well don’t cry’ as he is wiping your tears. After you have came more times than you can count and he has marked you with his teeth—he cleans you up in a warm shower together and you lay in his soft bed as he strokes your hair and tells you how beautiful you are. You’re whipped and he’s whipped.
Now you’re going to the gym with him and bringing him lunch to the agency and prancing around in Red Riot merch as his little girlie friend. Good thing you’re getting speared by his dick every day that ends in a “y”. You’ll be moving in soon.
DILF simps come get yalls juice—lemme know if you want any other DILFs ✨❤️
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rollercoasterwords · 2 years ago
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I saw your post about angst earlier and I thought "atydsp was the *angstiest* most miserable book I've ever read" (it's a compliment btw) and then I remembered that YOU wrote it. So, you being an angst lover and the writer of the angstiest thing I've read, I wanted to ask you for recs(?), If that's ok(?)
Just, what are the angstiest books/fics you've ever read? Like, stare-at-the-wall-and-cry-silently-for-hours, feel-numb-for-days, make-you-want-to-scream-like-your-first-born-died, kind of angst. And, if you want, even throw in there films, music, poems too,idk.
It's all about the feeling. I just want to get my soul ripped apart and bleed-out on the floor again:'(
If it's too much or if it's weird, I'm sorry and feel free to ignore me pls<3
look at me. look into my eyes. you are my favorite person on this website right now. i LOVE this question omg ok buckle up i'm making a list
rae's angstiest-of-all-time recs*:
*with the caveat that this is a subjective list, these are just things that made me, specifically, feel like crying and screaming and staring at the wall for whatever reason. not all of these are stories that end in tragedy; some have happy endings! but if it made me feel like my guts were being twirled around like spaghetti on a fork at some point then it made the list <3
fics:
hackery, by orphan_account i will keep yelling at people to read this until the day i die it is SO good and literally under 2k words u can finish it in like five minutes. go read it rn PLEASE i'm begging
a great, big tragedy by zeppazariel @mayzarbewithyou for all crimson rivers angst enjoyers <3 the au what-if-regulus-died ending
let the ghosts sleep tonight by outlaw_baby dorlene oneshot set during the first war SO beautiful i reread this all the time
zwischen immer und nie (between always and never) by sudowoodo an albus dumbledore/gellert grindelwald fic about the summer they fell in love. was recommended to me by a friend who knows i love angst and thought i would appreciate it. they were correct.
notes on a resurrection by newleaves perhaps my favorite fic of all time and one that was also recommended to me by a friend! this one has a happy ending but BOY does it take you on a ride to get there
that's the art of getting by by sarewolf @sarewolf one of my favorite fics ever <3 another happy ending but plenty of angst before we get there <3
choices by messermoon @little-shit-soph i mean i feel like i don't even need to say anything about this one but. yeah if ur looking for tragedy and angst this is a good place to go lmao
books
the feverwake duology, by victoria lee i don't think i've talked about this series before on my blog but it is one of my FAVORITES of all time oh god. it's so so so fucking good dystopian sci-fi magic plague war just. SUCH a cool concept and SUCH beautiful writing i've read it three times and might need to reread soon lol
teeth, by hannah moskowitz gay mermaid love story but like. in the absolute most fucked-up way possible. i love this book SO much hannah moskowitz is just one of my favorite writers of all time
a history of glitter and blood, by hannah moskowitz my favorite book! another story where you get a happy ending but the angst u go through to get there...exquisite
human acts, by han kang made me cry like a fucking baby. this is historical fiction based on very real events and interviews with people who experienced the gwangju uprising + massacre in south korea in 1980.
the song of achilles, by madeline miller another one that i feel like i don't even need to say anything about lol
crush, by richard siken poetry!! here's ur poetry rec. the richard siken hype is not a lie this book will gut you
the animorphs series, by k.a. applegate i am being 100% serious this is one of my favorite series of all time and i read it for the first time as an adult like. this is not childhood nostalgia it was too scary for me as a kid. genuinely changed the way i think about writing and truly is one of the best war stories i have ever read. the last book is gut-wrenching in a way that very little else i have come across is.
the hunchback of notre-dame, by victor hugo for the classics enjoyers <3 victor hugo is one of my favorite writers i was really into his books in high school lol
the man who laughs, by victor hugo not as well-known as his other work but i wrote a big research paper on this book one time so it holds a special place in my heart just bc i spent so much time with it
tv shows
banana fish (2018) outing myself as an occasional anime enjoyer lmao. i watched this bc i kept seeing people talk about how tragic it was and then i saw my sister watching it and i looked up a plot summary of what happens at the end and i was like huh that sounds interesting. and then i sat down to watch it KNOWING what was going to happen and i still like. was screaming crying by the end.
the haunting of bly manor (2020) just re-watched this show like two months ago and it is 2/2 on making me cry so!!
movies
children who chase lost voices (2011) this movie has a happy ending but like. idk man there's this one specific scene that just GETS me every time. always feel hollowed out but like...in a good way after watching it.
brokeback mountain (2005) i mean...do i need to say anything about this one? gay cowboy tragedy my beloved <3
the last unicorn (1982) watching this movie as a kid is i think what altered my brain chemicals and made me an angst enjoyer. so! had to put it on the list <3
and of course on a final note--as these are heavy angst + tragedy etc etc if u know there are things u need to watch out for please look up trigger warnings before diving in! they all contain content that is upsetting in some way...hence the angst. hopefully that doesn't even need to be said but. well an honest hard-working angst farmer needs to cover his bases sometimes doesn't he
also! tysm for the angst praise lol SO happy to hear that atydsp is one of the angstiest things you've read truly the highest form of praise 2 me <3
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star-mum · 5 months ago
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I'm finally free from my prison (this semester is finally over, thank god), lets absolutely go gamers
y'all know im skipping the cw cause I love letting Sunny surprise me 😔
"beeping of the coffee machine where Dick had it pre-set to go off at an ungodly hour" the one time I wouldn't beef with this man is early in the morning cause he has coffee READY even before I wake up (and he probably likes super strong and bitter) (so do I) (i add a lot of shit to it so it balances out the sweet 😚)
"What else would a good girlfriend do?" ... you mean beside sucking his di- (I'll drive these kinda jokes into the ground idc)
"you did see the appeal of The Tower now being completely empty" yeeeeaaaaaaaah
"It was an oversized hoodie that you and Gar often shared" :3 fat reader baby lets goooo
"with his puppy asleep on his knees" non ironically Krypto the superdog was THE dc content of my childhood (besides teen titans) so you cannot imagine how much I cheered when the dog showed up in the show
"dream of your parents’ double murder" 😧😧😧
"ripping apart a group of men... making them bloody in order to save you" im sorry but this is The Most Line Ever
"Nobody else looked as good with blood dripping from their teeth" nothing quite like a man covered in blood
"The way he bit down on your lip whenever you gripped his cock just the right way" i wanna give this man head so good, that not even jerking off is good enough to make him cum
"Disappointingly, you and Gar had never actually had sex before" WHAT ("why am i gasping? i already knew that")
"shirt with a cartoon of Link from The Legend of Zelda on it" haha, nerd ! (I'm begging and pleading for him to info dump the entire plot to me)
"you did feel slightly guilty for disrupting his sleep with your lustful corrupting force" Gar can sleep when he's dead, now whip out that monster co-
"So he had unintentionally shown off his ‘goodies’ on more than one occasion when transforming" that first scene when they're "testing/showing" they're powers will never Not be funny to me
" light trail of hair leading down from his belly button and dipping into his pants" i need to be sedated
"And then he simply never wore them in his off-time because once he had stopped, he found them too uncomfortable to wear casually" is this also okay for the tmi jar cause uhhh fucking same, my dude
" seven inches long - about nine inches long when he was fully hard" MONSTER COCK ! MONSTER COCK ! MONSTER COCK !
"G-good morn-ning.” He said, voice tight and raspy" i think this (the way his voice sounds) would've nuked me cause wooooow
"his hip muscles seized tight as the urge to fuck your mouth overtook his body" 😔 we could've had it all rn, my boy
“This is so awesome!” Gar’s voice was pure enthusiasm as he grinned widely at you" he's such a puppy, I can see a tail wagging
"So fucking perfect. You are a goddess, I swear" 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣
"while yours settled on his gorgeous, plump ass" EQUALITY !!!!!
"Just get inside me. Please" thoughts and prayers for our bravest (horniest) soldier 🫡
"You knew that you would likely have difficulty walking after this, but you really couldn’t bring yourself to care" IS FIIINEEEE !!! HE'S STRONG !! HE CAN CARRY US WHERE WE NEED TO GO !!!
"When your hand found its destination, Gar was quick to smack it away" 😮😮😮😮 OKAY
"Mine.” He grunted, his voice almost unrecognizable" the memories of Rut Gar <33
"I wanna - I wanna see your pretty ass.” baby boy, baby
"Wanna grab it. Wanna fuck you from behind.” my fucking boyfriend who sPITS IN NY MOUTH (this is the thought that led to a thought by the way skskskdk)
tmi jar: as shared before (i think) i LOVE when characters get verbally graphic like this SPECIALLY when they're usually soft/not like that at all
"Take it, fucking take it // You knew that those words - his voice in that ravenous tone, it would echo inside of your mind forever" again, VERY TARGETED *actively loves it*
"He would end up with some very weird shit in his search history" his knot, his business 🤷🏻‍♀️
"What if we have to call 9-1-1 and get my dick surgically removed?” as funny as that would be
"mixture of your wetness and his own cum, and god - the smell" this is where i get fucking DISGUSTING about it ✨
"It would be rude to wake you. But maybe - he didn’t have to" and the masses fucking cheered
"but you had requested pasta for dinner. And he was nothing if not a servant of your every need" can we add this to his wiki page?
"“I also made cookies, but they turned out weirdly… flat.” is okay baby we can just add more butter next time... or less... i forget
"causing the butter to melt before it actually started cooking" hell yeah is butter related, lets go bakers
Precious Time Alone
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Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader
aka the fic where Gar has a knot
Summary:
Even with the ability to see the future, you never would have guessed that your life would lead you to falling in love with the perfect man - someone sweet, caring, funny, cute. Someone with the passion and fire to protect the ones that he loves no matter what. A precious guy with green hair who had the ability to transform into a tiger at will. And when you finally made love to him for the first time, you never could have guessed how that unique ability affected his sex life.
You weren't exactly complaining, but you wished you had seen this coming. At the end of the day, it was just another thing about him to love.
Or - Neither you nor Gar knew that he has the ability to knot, and you both find out for the first time when you have sex together.
Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut/PWP. Set during Season 2, Episode 9.
Word Count: 11,800
DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link
THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, to make my masterlist for this fandom more complete, and to help new people discover my old fics.
Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.
Important Note: for reference, this is not an A/B/O fic - I have nothing against A/B/O fics and I love them very much (it's one of my favourite genres, and I really need to write more A/B/O fics and post them) - the reader character is 100% human and does not have any traits that fall into the A/B/O category. This fic is based off the concept that Gar has a knot due to his animal traits/animal DNA, and it is something that happens to his body because of his ability to transform into an animal. This could be considered a hybrid fic, but Gar's knot is the only animal trait he possesses during sex. If this is your thing, I hope you enjoy. If not, come back later, and I might have something more your style. Or you can check out my masterlist in the meantime.
Warnings: the reader character has a vagina and uses she/her pronouns; this is an established relationship - Gar and the reader have been dating for a while now; mentions of canon events from S1 and S2 (so there is some spoilers from the show - if you haven't seen the show yet and you want to watch it unspoiled, be warned); mentions of canon level violence, including Gar being tortured at the asylum; this is set during 2x09 when Gar is 'home alone' (and the reader is there with him); the reader character suffers from insomnia; the reader character does have powers but they don't really have major involvement in the plot of this fic (idk if I should have even labelled this as 'powered!reader') - the reader character has psychic visions; mentions of clothes sharing - the reader is implied to be bigger/plus sized because Gar wears her clothing and it's 'oversized'; the reader is attracted to Gar's more 'animal' side - she admits to being attracted to him because he protected her with his powers; this fic does use Y/N (I am a proud Y/N truther); Gar and the reader have engaged in sexual acts before (handjobs, fingering, oral) but this fic features their first time having penis in vagina sex; Gar's knot is a surprise to both of them due to it being their first time having penetrative sex (his dick only swells up once it gets inside of her body); though this is both of their 'first times' with each other, I didn't put any big emphasis on virginity in this fic, especially because they have done other sexual acts before; this could be considered Crack Treated Seriously - but like I said, my brain just took the concept and ran with it; there is something in this fic that could be considered consensual somnophilia - the reader character starts performing oral sex on Gar in order to wake him up, but she's not specifically turned on by the fact that he's sleeping, and there is an unspoken consent due to them being in a relationship; this whole thing fluctuates from making love/passionate sex to rough, animalistic sex; slight praise kink - Gar verbally praises the reader and compliments her a lot; there isn't really defined roles here, but Gar is more dominant and the reader is more submissive; as mentioned before - penis in vagina sex; unprotected sex - they don't use a condom (the lore of knots and condoms bothers me anyway, like how would a condom not break under those circumstances??); possessive!Gar; biting kink/marking kink (Gar bites the reader - a lot); Gar cums inside the reader - a lot, because of his supernatural dick (though this doesn't quite make it to cum inflation levels); Gar knots the reader (if you don't know what that is, just stay away); creampie kink - NOT breeding kink; there is mentions of pregnancy in a discussion after the sex is over, but not in the breeding kink sense (Gar and the reader both want kids and there is no mentions of alternate forms of birth control, so if that gives you the ick then don't read this one); slight warning for VERY BRIEF painful sex/pain after sex - Gar tries to pull out not knowing what the knot is and accidentally hurts the reader's vagina because of it (the pain only lasts for a few seconds, and he stops trying to pull out once he is unsuccessful); scent kink - Gar loves the way you smell after being fucked by him; (I was not planning on adding a bonus scene when editing this fic, but it's Gar and I got carried away) more consensual somnophilia toward the end - Gar fingers the reader a bit while she is sleeping, and then he masturbates on top of her and cums over her thighs before cleaning her up (again, this is operating off the pre-existing consent in a relationship, or you can imagine that they had a consent conversation about this before the fic, idc); the ending of this fic is just pure fluff.
A/N: This is one that I wrote in 2022 and I had kind of forgotten about it? But I was going through my older fics on AO3 and I was like 'omg I love that fic, I forgot how much I love that fic'. And because I am trying to post some easy stuff before my move (which will be exhausting and it will mean that I will post pretty much nothing for a few months) - I realized that this fic was an easy re-post because it didn't need a lot of work before being re-posted. So - here ya go! If you haven't read this fic before and you don't know what a knot is (in terms of fanfiction/smut): run away. Run away now. I don't need to be the one to corrupt you lmao. But yeah - this fic was inspired by someone on Tumblr (I wish I could remember who it was and link the post) posing the theory that if Gar is 'part animal', then he might have a knot. And my brain felt the need to exorcise that idea once it entered my mind and literally possessed me, and thus, this fic was created. I think it is one of my better Gar fics - with a very straightforward concept. And if this is your thing, I hope you enjoy it!
...
It was entirely strange to wake up to the Tower actually being quiet. 
Well, quiet aside from the sound of Gar’s snores rumbling beside your head. But there was a lot less noise than usual. 
There was no distant beeping of the coffee machine where Dick had it pre-set to go off at an ungodly hour. No grunting of Jason training because he couldn’t sleep. No rumbling bass tones of Rachel’s music where she played it aloud, thinking no one else could hear. 
No arguing voices. 
Strangely, that was something you missed most of all. You had come to love the chaos of so many people living in your new home. And you had secretly hoped that Dawn, Hank, and Donna would stick around for a while, even if they insisted that they were just going to take care of the Dr. Light problem and leave once again. With them cooking meals and hogging the TV, it had started to feel like a real family. 
You had definitely not expected all of the Titans to barrel out faster than cockroaches fled from light when Dick told them of his past transgressions. But boy - they fucking ran. And naturally, when Gar volunteered to stay at the Tower with Conner in order to hold down the fort, you stayed with him. 
What else would a good girlfriend do? 
You had stuck by him through everything else, so of course you would stick by him through this. 
And even though you missed everyone dearly, and you worried about the long-term impact that Dick’s confession would have, you did see the appeal of The Tower now being completely empty. You would be lying if you said that it didn’t bring some salacious thoughts to your mind. 
Maybe it was that morning silence, truly reminding you of the lack of occupants in the house - or the burning hum between your thighs that had you awake at this hour in the first place. But you couldn’t sleep, and now your mind was brimming with better, hornier things that you could be doing with your time. (Things that you likely already would have started if Gar had been awake along with you.) 
You were sometimes jealous of his ability to sleep so well. Typically, sleep was an area that you did very poorly in. 
Usually, having Gar’s intense warmth curled up next to you did help. And you thanked that perfect human furnace for what little sleep you had gotten the night before. Especially after all the anxiety and the fighting, and the unexpected charge of everyone leaving so suddenly. 
You lifted your head from Gar’s rumbling chest as he snored and snorted away and you looked at the clock on his nightstand - 4:15am. You sighed deeply to yourself and decided to get out of bed. You knew from your experience with insomnia that it was no use trying to fall back asleep again. 
You untangled yourself from Gar’s grasp, careful not to wake him - and then you grabbed a piece of clothing off the floor to shield yourself from the morning chill. 
It was an oversized hoodie that you and Gar often shared. It had originally started off as yours, but now your things had migrated into Gar’s room and it seemed like your lives were easily blending into one. He found himself wearing one of your socks mix-matched with his own, and he often slept under a fuzzy throw blanket you had brought when you moved into The Tower. You used his body wash in the shower, and had some of his nerdy pins on your backpack. 
It always just felt right. 
The hoodie smelled delightfully like your boyfriend - and you couldn’t help but to press the fabric to your nose with a small contented sigh while you walked down the hallway to check on Conner. 
The young man was still deeply unconscious - not making a single movement or a flicker of acknowledgment toward you when you walked into the room. His vitals were stable, with his puppy asleep on his knees. The dog looked at you with curious eyes as you checked on the machines and even used a stethoscope to listen to Conner’s heart just to make sure that he was doing alright. Krypto made no moves to get off the bed, entirely protective of his half-human companion. You shut off the light and partially closed the door as you left (leaving enough room for Krypto to get out if he wanted to). 
Then, without much else to do, and feeling a slight grumble in your stomach, you went to the kitchen. You ate a bowl of cereal as you scrolled your phone, listened to music, and checked for messages from any of the other Titans. There were none. 
After you had eaten, you were still bored and the sun wasn’t even up yet - so you decided to take a shower. 
As the hot water poured over your body, you couldn’t help but think of Gar. 
The two of you had been together since your psychic powers led you to Scooter’s Roller Palace. 
Before that, you had lived a somewhat normal life, even with your visions. You had the very typical ‘loving family, suburban home, thriving at school’ type of life. 
You had been trying to achieve your goals while completely ignoring your visions. 
Visions that you had previously denied had even been able to predict the future - until a horrifying dream of your parents’ double murder came true. You were unaware at the time that the same doomsday cult that was attempting to track down Rachel was also looking for you. A group that had been watching your abilities carefully and wanted to use you to track Rachel and to perceive better outcomes for ‘their work’. 
So with the realization that you could see the future, you knew that you had to act. Especially with visions of the dark, crumbling end of the world plaguing you. You let your powers guide you to that roller rink in search of a purple haired girl who could save everyone and a green haired boy who could transform into a tiger. And since then, you hadn’t let him go. 
It was only when you had been captured at the asylum that you and Gar became truly close. The day that he had first come to your rescue. 
The ‘scientists’ there hadn’t been unable to taunt or shock him into his transformation like they had been planning to. But the moment he had heard your screams of torture and torment from down the hall, he had transformed into the tiger and ripped the cage’s door off its steel welded hinges with his teeth just to get to you. 
When he witnessed them torturing you in an attempt to demand predictions of the future out of you - Gar had snapped. And then, a bizarre vision that you’d had years ago came to life before your very eyes. A vision of a giant green tiger ripping apart a group of men in white lab coats, making them bloody in order to save you. 
He later told you, as you were traveling on the train, that he had never harmed another person before that. He had never used his powers to harm someone before that. But he also told you that he absolutely didn’t regret it. He had told you that if it meant that he got to save you, then he would do it a thousand times over. And that was something that warmed your heart and drew you to him like a moth to flame. 
If you had a schoolgirl crush on him before that, then in those moments, it grew into a heated, womanly lust. You started falling in love with him on that day. 
That animalistic strength, that passion, that courage was what had drawn you to Gar immediately. He claimed it was ‘hero syndrome’ - the thing that made you pull him close and kiss him on the train. The thing that made you call him your boyfriend. He claimed it was only because he was the one that saved you, and if it had been someone else, then you wouldn’t have ended up with him at all. 
But no - nobody else had the primal drive that he did. Nobody else had the same protective instincts that he had. Nobody else looked as good with blood dripping from their teeth. 
It was a dangerous thought to have. But it was one that got your clit throbbing every single time. 
Of course, you loved Gar for all of his soft parts. You loved him for his dorky smile, his smooth laugh, his shy gaze. He was a soft place to land when you were hurt, upset - when you needed comfort the most. But you also loved him for his sharpened edges - his undeniable passion, the way he wouldn’t hesitate to harm an enemy when it came to protecting the ones he loved. The way he bit down on your lip whenever you gripped his cock just the right way. 
You sighed hard through your nose as the water went cold around you. Had you really been in the shower for that long?
Disappointingly, you and Gar had never actually had sex before. 
You had done plenty of sexual things - but it always felt rushed, and it never quite scratched that itch in the way you needed it to. 
The fact that the two of you were pretty much never alone together meant you never had the time to indulge in each other, to properly touch each other the way that you really wanted to. Everything you did together was always quick and haste. Grabbing and groping each other through clothes, shoving your hands into each other’s pants, panting breaths down each other’s throats, desperate to cum as quickly and quietly as possible. 
You wanted nothing more than to feel every single inch of his naked skin against yours. You wanted to be able to spend hours worshiping his body, getting your tongue onto every perfect muscle you had seen when he trained shirtless. You spent far too long fantasizing about him laying you down in the middle of his bed and pounding into you, roughly and savagely - showing off that animal side you loved so much. 
As you wrapped a towel around yourself and wiped the steam off the mirror, you realized something absolutely wicked. The house was empty. This was the perfect opportunity to get exactly what you wanted - what you needed from Gar. 
You dried off your body, abandoning the fresh clothes you had brought into the bathroom with you and simply walking down the hallway naked. It was a strange feeling, to say the least. You were aware of the fact that there were cameras in literally every common area of the Tower (as Gar had pointed out to Rose a few days prior) but you took for granted that nobody would have to review this footage for any reason. 
You slipped into Gar’s room, where he was still fast asleep - splayed out on his back, his jaw wide open as he puffed out air and snorted loud snores. 
He was adorable, almost innocently so. He was so peaceful when he slept. He was wearing a tee shirt with a cartoon of Link from The Legend of Zelda on it - something you only knew about because he had explained it to you in great detail. His green hair was messy in a beautiful way that suited him, his limbs sticking out from the covers at odd angles. Even though you did have some idea of the not-so-innocent things he thought about you on a regular basis, you did feel slightly guilty for disrupting his sleep with your lustful corrupting force. 
(Just not guilty enough to stop what you were about to do.) 
With the morning sun rising at your back, just slightly orange through the curtains, you pulled up the covers and crawled in on top of Gar. Instantly, you were warmed by the natural heat radiating off his body. Apparently something about his ‘condition’ - that thing that made him half-animal, also made him incredibly warm. At any given time, his skin was near-burning, almost like a fever to the touch. It made him so pleasant to sleep beside, so nice to hug and cuddle up against. It was just one of the many, many things that made him the perfect boyfriend. 
With that heat gathered under his blanket like a sauna, it almost made you want to lay down on top of him and fall asleep again. But the prominent hum between your thighs was a bit more persistent - and you knew that there would be plenty of time to fall asleep with Gar later. His clothes did slightly irritate your sensitive, bare skin - you knew that you wouldn’t have to tolerate the feeling for long. 
Gar liked being naked more than you did. So he certainly wouldn’t mind you undressing him. You knew the only reason he even bothered to sleep with clothes on was because of the general pretense of others being around. 
You pressed yourself on top of Gar, not worried about your weight disturbing him - not after the many times he had told you how much he enjoyed the feeling of being cuddled with you laying fully on top of him. You pulled the covers up over your body as the chill of the room bit at your still somewhat damp skin, and you leaned in to kiss across Gar’s neck. He moaned quietly in his sleep and began to stir. 
You smiled to yourself, loving the feeling of his muscles so relaxed underneath you. It was something that had been too rare as of late - with all the intense training sessions, and the stress of Rose being brought into your home, Jason being kidnapped, and then Conner being shot. For the past few weeks, whenever you had hugged Gar or cuddled against him in bed, he had been nothing but a tense ball of stress. 
You certainly understood that stress. He was worried for his friends and wondering what would happen next. Even though you had the ability to see the future, you couldn’t simply predict what would happen on a dime. You had helped to secure Jason’s safety, but you had been nervous that the others wouldn’t be able to get to him in time. Even though everything had worked out in the end (debatable, seeing the emotional scars Jason had come away with), the stress had taken a toll on you and Gar. 
Life as a Titan was stressful. And you knew that you and Gar were both well deserving of a break. Even though Gar marked this as a tense fracturing of the group, something else to stress about, you knew that everyone simply needed a break. 
And you knew exactly what kind of relaxation Gar deserved now that you had the time on your hands. It was something you hadn’t been able to give him since a late night in the bathroom many weeks ago, when he had to muffle his moans into a hand towel for fear of being caught. You laid a few more gentle kisses against the skin of his neck, and then began to descend downward. 
You wiggled yourself completely under the blanket, loving the warm cave that it created around you - a pleasant fog of Gar’s body heat that easily made your cheeks scorch. It raised your body temperature more already, and made your cunt clench in anticipation. 
Of course, you were going to focus on him first. You pushed his shirt up his stomach, gathering the fabric lazily around his midsection, not really making an effort to take it off. You appreciated the skin that was revealed to you, especially seeing as every single part of him was beautiful. 
You had seen him naked before.
Gar was a smart person - but he wasn’t always clever. So he had unintentionally shown off his ‘goodies’ on more than one occasion when transforming into that mighty tiger that you loved so much. He didn’t always rush to cover himself if he thought that nobody was looking. It was a strange juxtaposition - the fact that you had made him cum before, but you had only seen him completely naked when he used his powers publicly. 
During the times when you had been intimate, you had both been forced to keep most of your clothes on - your trysts entirely secretive, shoving your hands down each other’s pants or dropping to your knees and taking his cock out, keeping everything haste and ready to easily redress in case someone came upon you. 
Now, you were more than ready to make love to him. You were fed him with never having enough time - never having enough of him. You so badly wanted to have your naked body pressed against him completely; to have him naked in bed for hours where there would be absolutely no disruptions. Your pussy throbbed with excitement at the very thought. 
(Perhaps Dick coming clean of his transgressions and pissing off all the Titans had been the best thing that had ever happened to you. Not that you would ever admit that out loud.) 
You kissed along the now exposed skin of Gar’s stomach, loving the little moans he let out as you did so. Clearly, he was still floating somewhere in sleep, his sounds still dull and adorably sleepy. Perhaps on his way to waking up as your wet mouth worked a trail down to the edge of his sweatpants. 
His stomach muscles flexed under your touch as your tongue darted out and traced the light trail of hair leading down from his belly button and dipping into his pants - definitely one of your favorite things about him. You laid a few more light kisses near his hip, causing more cute little jolts, before you lovingly eyed the outline you saw forming inside his pants. Even though the fabric, his cock looked perfect. 
You knew that Gar pretty much never wore underwear. 
It was something he had given up on because it was just another article of clothing to rip off, previously impeding his transformations. And then he simply never wore them in his off-time because once he had stopped, he found them too uncomfortable to wear casually. It was a dirty little secret of yours - but you absolutely loved his commando lifestyle. 
It always made the outline of his dick so obvious through his clothes (even when it was soft). You had never admitted that you ogled him on a regular basis. Especially when he trained - his movements when sparing causing his cock to bob around and move in a devilishly delicious way. 
Maybe you were a bit of a pervert. At least, that’s what some people might call the way your mind worked. But you couldn’t really help it. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that you had found the most gorgeous man ever and he had a sex drive that seemed just as potent as yours. (Though - as previously mentioned - you had been horrendously impeded by a barrage of housemates and multiple crises interrupting your alone time. Until now.) 
You were quick to undo the tie on his sweats, and from there, all it took was a firm tug to get his pants down. The fabric became slightly trapped between the plushness of his ass and the bed - thankfully he was still limp and pliant with sleep, and you didn’t have to put too much effort into getting the clothing down. You took the edge of his pants down to just past his hips, letting his cock free. 
This gave you a perfect view of his long, thick cock - freshly awakened from its slumber and easily half-way to hardness. It was as remarkable as always - pretty pink cockhead (just like the sweet pink of his lips), pale and seven inches long - about nine inches long when he was fully hard. Tugging the fabric of his pants down a bit more, you gently pet your fingers over his round, full balls - one of your favorite parts of him, even if you felt shy admitting it aloud. 
You also loved his so beautifully Gar, bright green pubes. The first time you had seen that his green hair was so entirely all natural (well, natural since the injection of Dr. Caulder’s serum) - you had been shocked and absolutely amused. 
You loved every inch of him, and you definitely loved how this was a solid reminder of exactly who your boyfriend was, even when you were making steady eye contact with his dick. 
You placed your hands on the tops of his thighs and leaned in, taking the head of his semi-hard cock into your mouth. You couldn’t help but to be pleased with yourself, knowing that this was how he was going to wake up. His skin was delightfully smooth under your tongue and he tasted slightly of a musk that was so uniquely Gar. 
You wrapped your hand around the base of his cock, thumbing down over his balls as you bobbed your head down - with your tongue loose and your mouth wide open, you gave a few good, greedy slurps on his cock, simply enjoying the feeling of him hot and thickening up in your mouth as he became harder. You couldn’t help but to moan around him, and he let out a startled snort, and then a deep groan. 
You felt movement above you as his tired arms grappled with the covers - he was definitely awake now. 
His dick throbbed under your tongue as he swelled to full hardness - and you held back laughter as he momentarily pushed on your head through the covers. Clearly, still not quite awake enough to know what was going on - just enjoying the feeling of a warm mouth on his cock. You squeezed your grip tighter around the base and prodded your tongue into the slit, gentle and exploring, lapping up the first bit of precum that he leaked out. 
He let out a perfect shuddering gasp. 
“Wha-? Hmm? Y/N?” He mumbled out, confused in that tired, dumbly adorable way. 
A moment later, the covers were ripped off your head, ruining that lovely cave of warmth you had going, causing a rush of cool air to prick at your skin. With your lips wrapped around his cock, bobbing down over the first few inches of the mighty, thick beast while gently pumping at the rest with a casual grip, you looked up at Gar through your eyelashes. You attempted to look sweet, knowing how sinful you looked with your lips stretched around the girth of his cock. 
You suppressed a moan of your own when you taste more salty precum and his jaw dropped open with a broken moan. 
“G-good morn-ning.” He said, voice tight and raspy, partially from the haze of sleepiness and partially from the lust coating his throat. 
He propped himself up on one elbow and stared down the length of his body at you. He moved to wipe the sleep from his eyes, clearly stunned and awed to be woken up this way. His gaze was hazy with that half-awake look and his chest moved in thick beats as he began to struggle for breath, partially holding back his moans in a practiced way due to your living situation. 
You simply continued your actions, widening your lips to suck more of him down. You bobbed your head slowly as you took the first half of his impressive length like a popsicle, swirling your tongue around it and using your hand on the base. Gar’s chest became tight with trapped sounds, and his hip muscles seized tight as the urge to fuck your mouth overtook his body - but he held back with intense self-discipline. 
“You - oh - you-you’re naked.” He quickly observed, struggling to speak through the pleasure of your tongue on his cock. 
His eyes scanned over your naked body with intense hunger, and he rushed to move the blanket back more, wanting to reveal your bare ass and thighs. When he managed to do this, you quickly felt the coolness of the room against your bare pussy and realized just how wet you were. 
Gar’s eyes went wide in an almost cartoonish way as he drank you in. 
He had only been able to get glances at your naked body before - when you were coming out of the shower and flashed him in an attempt to rile him up, or during your trysts when he had been able to pull off pieces of your clothing, but not everything all at once. Now, seeing you entirely bared to him, in the warm light of the early morning, something that made your skin glow - it caused his heart to speed up inside his chest, and made his dick throb. It was something you felt under your tongue that brought you another thrill. 
You popped off his perfect cock with a wet sound, much to Gar’s disappointment, so that your mouth would be free to speak. 
“I had a shower.” You told him, giving him a little smirk. “I didn’t feel like bothering with clothes afterwards.” 
You leaned back in and licked a broad stripe across Gar’s dick as you waited for his reply, causing a sharp breath to shake his chest before he could speak. 
“But what if someone-?” He glanced toward his bedroom door, thinking of the other Titans. Thinking about the possibility of being disrupted yet again. 
Perhaps he had forgotten of the debacle that happened the day previous. You were quick to remind him. 
“No one else is home. Remember?” You said, your breath fanning out over his cock before you gave a few kitten licks to the leaking, pretty pink cockhead. 
Gar shuddered with delight, gripping the sheets with tight fists. He hadn’t really forgotten, but he had been hoping that someone else would have come home by now. That they all would have gotten over the argument and just wanted to be Titans again. But he couldn’t find himself too upset about those hopes being dashed with your hand pumping his cock and your tongue swirling around him like that. 
“Fuck.” Gar breathed out, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, desperate to compose himself. “What about - what about Conner?” 
“He’s still asleep.” You told Gar. “That lady - his Mom, guess? She said that he would be out for at least a few days.” 
You paused for a moment, and then, you gently confirmed:
“It’s just the two of us. We’re all alone.”  
You stopped your actions, simply holding his dick in your hand and looking up at him with a small grin, giving the words a moment to sink in. Gar stared down at you, letting it truly work through his brain.
The two of you were alone. You were naked. You were naked in his bed. You were holding his hard cock and you both wanted it to happen - very badly. 
There was nothing stopping the two of you. 
“This is so awesome!” Gar’s voice was pure enthusiasm as he grinned widely at you, his hands quickly moving to rip off his shirt. 
You sat back on your heels, giving Gar room to fully shed his clothing, knowing that he was likely just as excited to be fully naked and uninterrupted as you were. He was slightly clumsy in kicking off his pants - something that made you giggle as he got caught up in the fabric. After a moment of struggle, you reached out and helped him untangle the pant legs from around his ankles and toss the unwanted item to the floor. You were now both fully free and absolutely ready for each other. 
“C’mere,” You let out a joyous laugh, quick to pounce on Gar. 
The second that you were close enough, you got your mouth on his, engaging in hot, open-mouthed kisses while he wrapped his arms around you. He was quick to roll you onto your back, leaving you lying slightly awkwardly, diagonally on the bed with your ankles tangled in the sheets. Not that you cared about any of that for a moment - not with his whole body shadowing over yours, bringing more of that amazing warmth to cover you. 
Then, for the first time, you felt that ultimately satisfying press of pure skin on skin. The feeling made you both moan loudly into the other’s mouth as he leaned all of his weight onto you and pressed your bodies almost completely together, from knees to chests. You felt every single inch of him: his warm, muscled thighs pressing against your own, his hard cock up against your pelvis, creating a deep hunger that caused your pussy to throb hard between your legs, his smooth stomach and chiseled chest pressing against you - the beating of his heart racing in tandem with your own. It was topped off by the breath-taking sight of his big, brown eyes staring into yours as he looked down at you with utter adoration. 
It was so utterly perfect.
He leaned in for another long, hot kiss, and you moaned heavily into his mouth.  After a moment, he pulled away from the kiss with a nip on your bottom lip - something that made you whimper from the back of your throat. A hard, hot pain throbbed between your thighs as your pussy cried out for him, desperately needing him inside of you. 
You had waited far too long for this. His fingers had always felt good, but you knew that his cock would feel so much better. 
“So fucking perfect.” Gar told you, his voice taking on a deep, lustful rumble that had you clenching around nothing, yearning for the fullness of his cock inside of you. “You are a goddess, I swear.” 
As he said this, his eyes raked over your naked body with an intense heat that had you squirming. 
His voice caused even more heat across your skin - an intense tingling raking over you like goosebumps. You felt his words with the genuine intense passion that he intended them with, all the affection that boiled inside of him breaching out and spilling over you. It was something that made you feel more beautiful than any expensive dress or makeup ever could have. 
“You’re perfect too, Gar.” You echoed back, feeling lame and uncreative with the compliment, but absolutely believing it to be true. Every inch of him was something to love. Inside and out. 
Gar drowned any further words - perhaps afraid he would get too emotional - by shoving his tongue past your lips. He ran his hands up and down the sides of your body while yours settled on his gorgeous, plump ass. Your legs naturally fell open for him, your knees coming up to sit on either side of his thighs. 
You let out a moan as his tongue mingled with yours, his hips grinding into you, moving his cock against your mound and partially bumping against your swollen clit. It was a beautiful sharp shock that made you gasp and pull him closer into you. You wrapped your ankles around the backs of his knees, setting yourself in the perfect position to take his cock. 
You were dripping and needy, and you weren’t prepared to wait much longer. 
“Gar, please,” You moaned, pulling away from the kiss to puff the words out against his now wet lips. 
You angled your hips up in a way that directly dragged the wet folds of your pussy along his hardness, beginning to hump yourself against him, showing him the true depth of your desperation. This caused him to groan and buck into you. He echoed the movements right back, humping his cock along your pussy, rubbing across your clit again and sending sharp jolts through your whole body. 
This made you even needier. 
“Gar!” You gasped out in response. “Please!” 
Your voice was a lilting whine that you barely even recognized. Of course, only he could do that to you. 
“Yeah, yeah.” He mumbled back. 
His brow furrowed as he stared down between your bodies, clearly captivated by the sight of your pussy drooling wetness all over his cock. He was now very purposefully jutting his hips to slick that glossy wetness across his dick, to feel the essence of you covering him for the first time. 
“You want me to just-? You-? Are you ready?” He choked on his own words, his mind hazy with lust. 
“Yes.” You were becoming absolutely short on patience, your tone demanding. “Just get inside me. Please.” 
Gar simply grunted in affirmation, reaching down to use a hand on his dick to guide himself inside of you. You hitched a leg up over his hip, opening yourself up more to give him better access. It was only a single moment of staring at his concentrated face - something that was entirely arousing in the situation - before you felt it. 
The thick head of his cock breaching your slicked, needy hole. Your body was so prepared to take him, having taken his fingers (and your own thinking about this very moment) so many times before - you practically sucked him in. He let out a breathy, desperate sound as he let go of his cock and gently rolled his hips into yours, sinking home for the first time. 
It was something that made you dizzy. You were so fucking full. 
You knew how large his cock was - you had seen it, felt it in your hand - but having him fully inside of you for the first time - it knocked the air out of your lungs in the best possible way. The press of his pelvis fully against you, the slight coarseness of his pubic hairs up against your most sensitive skin, his heavy balls brushing your ass - all of it sent jolts across your skin and had your mind so beautifully blank. 
All you could do was grip onto him tightly, and let out a breathy moan of his name. 
“Gar.” 
“Y/N.” He moaned back, his voice absolutely thick with pleasure, lost in a deep haze as the feeling of your pussy clenching him for the first time. You were so perfect - so tight and hot around him, leaking wetness around the base of his dick. The feeling easily sent hot waves rolling over his body. “Fuck, so perfect.” 
He was absolutely smothered - the feeling of you gripping his cock like a vice driving him insane in the best way. His thighs quivered and he struggled for breath as he resisted the urge to pound into you - resisted the urge to selfishly chase his own pleasure inside the irresistible, velvety feeling of you. 
He didn’t want to hurt you. 
The last thing he ever wanted was to hurt you. 
There were the tiniest echoes of logic still chanting in his brain, screaming at him that he absolutely couldn’t risk hurting you. That he had to use self control. 
Even as he looked down at your gorgeous naked body, your tits heaving with your breaths, the slight gleam of sweat across your skin, your kiss-bitten lips, the gloss of lust that had come over your eyes. You were a sexy goddess; you were so perfect, and you made his cock ache, and he wanted to pound into you until you were screaming, and filled with his cum and dripping white around his cock. 
But he could never hurt you. 
“Move, please.” You begged. “Need you, Gar. Please make me cum.” 
With that perfect plea, how could he resist you? 
Any semblance of Gar’s scared self control flew out the window. 
And you became all too thankful for that. 
In seconds, it went from a feeling of perfect fullness to a blur of flesh, his hips pulling back and slamming into yours. His animalistic instincts kicked in, and absolutely took over. That thing in the back of his head chanting at him, telling him to fuck his cock into the perfect hot body beneath him without stopping. 
Don’t ever stop. 
That thing told him that he needed your pussy to live now - and he couldn’t find a lie anywhere in that feeling. 
He let out a growl that shook your chest - a sound that turned you on far more than you expected it to - causing you to let out a whimper in response. He gripped at your inner thigh, holding you open as he dug his knees into the mattress and pounded into you with impressive might. The thickness of his mighty cock splitting you opened caused sharp pleasure-pain shocks from your pussy that quickly stole your breath. You didn’t think that you would enjoy the slightly venomous bite of the pain so much, but mixing with the pleasure, it made you even more beautifully delirious. 
You knew that you would likely have difficulty walking after this, but you really couldn’t bring yourself to care. 
The pure force of Gar’s hips easily shook the whole bed. 
You were mildly aware of the headboard hitting the wall behind you - a sound that seemed so distant in your sex-hazy mind. It was easily drowned out by the wet, sloppy sounds of your pussy drowning his cock; the wicked slaps of flesh to flesh, and the whiny whimpers you let out. Followed by his near feral groans and deep growls that were absolutely programming a response into you that would likely get you untimely turned on the next time he transformed into the tiger. 
(But that was something you would have to mentally unpack later.) 
It was all so perfect. 
The hot, shocking tingles flowing from your pussy in waves, the perfect pain of his pelvis bruising you every time he slammed into you, splitting you open with his cock. But you needed one more thing. You reached a hand down, needing some form of touch on your throbbing clit. 
When your hand found its destination, Gar was quick to smack it away - something that surprised you. He had never been so rough with you during a sexual encounter before. You absolutely didn’t hate it, though. This new side of Gar sent dizzying waves through you. You fucking loved it. 
“No.” He said, his voice edging on a growl. 
He went so far as to grab your wrist and pin your hand down to the bed - and you let out another loud moan at the feeling. 
Before you could question him, he went on to answer the silent query - why didn’t he want you touching yourself? 
“Mine.” He grunted, his voice almost unrecognizable, coated hazy with lust. 
He moved his touch away from pinning your wrist down, and in a second, he had a thick thumb on your needy, swollen clit in place of your own touch. 
He was possessive - claiming your pussy entirely as his own. The action sent your spine into a sharp curve against the bed as you felt even more waves of white-hot pleasure shooting through you from the touch. He made quick, demanding circles against your clit in time with his hard thrusts, leaning down to dig his teeth into your neck as you desperately gripped at his upper arms for something to hold onto. 
“Mine.” He grunted again, the word solid and demanding against your neck. 
“Mine.” The second time, it became lost, a slur against his teeth as he bit down into your skin again. 
“Gar!” You gasped out. 
You already felt your orgasm coming to fruition, tight and hot in your belly. His touch was so perfect against you - he was so perfect. 
“All yours.” You murmured back, your throat tight and almost too weak to form words. You hoped he even heard and understood what you were saying. “Yours.” 
He sunk his teeth harder into your neck, a sharpness that stung in a delightful way, and then pulled back to lav his tongue over the blooming bite mark. 
“Mine.” He growled into your neck once more - a powerful, possessive statement that made you quiver. 
He pressed his thumb harder into your clit as he felt your pussy fluttering around his cock, as he felt your thighs jumping from pleasure, heard your needy whines. He knew you were tumbling over the edge. He gave a few good, hard slams of his hips - almost as if he was attempting to break your pelvic bone - but it was a roughness that had you gasping with delight, chugging air past your moans. It was a wonderful, harsh fullness that sent a perfect ache through your pussy. Gar played your body as well as played his favorite video games. 
He had you cumming around his cock with a strangled sound, digging your nails into his biceps so hard that you likely drew blood. 
“Fuck, Gar! Oh, oh!” 
It was a dizzying orgasm. Blood pumped through your ears, your whole body tingled - your pussy clenched down on his cock hard, as if determined to keep him inside of you. You felt like you were floating - the only feeling you had left being the hard throbbing where you were connected to him and the dryness of your mouth. Your tongue turned to sandpaper from being exposed to the open air by your slack-jawed moaning.  
You were beyond words. You couldn’t even get out the single syllable of his name, left gargling your own spit and gasping for breath as he fucked you through it and groaned into your neck at the wonderfully wet feeling of you cumming around him. 
He slowed his hips after a moment, still hard and throbbing inside of you, and moved his head up to lay gentle kisses across your hot cheeks and jaw as he finally moved his touch away from your almost numb clit.
“So perfect,” He murmured into your skin, clearly delirious with pleasure himself, his eyes closed as he leaned into your skin. “So beautiful. So good, Y/N. So good. I love you so much, baby. So much.” 
“I love you.” You breathed back. 
You were barely capable of speech, but you knew that you had to return it. Especially after something that spectacular. As you came down from your orgasm, you found yourself still hungry for him at the feeling of his thickness perfectly motionless and full inside of you. 
“Wanna make you cum,” You told him, your voice raspy and rough. 
He laid a gentle kiss on your mouth before he took a breath, gathering his words to make a request. He pressed his forehead gently into yours as he spoke. 
“Can you -?” He paused, attempting to think of the right words or gathering his breath to say it. “Can you turn around?” 
You were slightly confused by this. Fuck-drunk from your orgasm, feeling numb and positively unsure how to move - you had no clue what he meant. 
Gar saw this on your face and drew more words from his mind. 
“I wanna - I wanna see your pretty ass.” He spoke out, hot breath fanning across your cheeks. “Wanna grab it. Wanna fuck you from behind.” 
Those words sent a hazy wave of pleasure through you, and caused you to unconsciously squeeze around his cock - which drew a whiny groan from him. 
“Yeah.” You told him. “Yeah, okay.” 
Gar hesitantly pulled out of you, drawing a small gasp of disappointment at the empty feeling. This left you absolutely gaping from the absence of his large cock. But it was only for a moment as you situated yourself and got comfortable with a pillow under your chest and one under your hips at Gar’s insistence. 
Though that pillow did little to support you, seeing as a moment later, he was using his animal strength to man-handle your hips into the air. He positioned you with your knees bent and your ass high up, your chest and face pressed into his orange tiger striped pillow case. 
He didn’t hesitate this time before plunging his cock back inside of you - something that had you absolutely alight with pleasure, showing the animal inside of him shining through. Especially as he let out another sharp growl and didn’t waste any time before he began drilling himself into your tight, wet warmth. 
“Fuckin’ love you.” Gar grunted out, his words quiet compared to the loud slapping of his hips against your ass as he fucked his cock deep inside your wanting pussy. “Love how you feel on my cock.”
His filthy words had you clenching around him, moaning out so whiny that you barely recognized your own voice. You were so pliant to Gar, so needy for him. But you loved it, because you loved him. You couldn’t help but to love everything about him. You felt like you belonged with his cock inside of you. 
“Love you too.” You gasped back, barely able to summon words at all with the powerful fury of his hips fucking into you. 
Gar groaned out, his head tilting up to the ceiling in a moan as he grabbed a handful of your ass. Just as he had promised, he took a possessive hold on the flesh, tight enough that it would likely leave marks behind. He pistoned his hips into you with a mighty fury, fluctuating between staring at the space where his cock disappeared into your dripping, wanting pussy, soaking his cock with your wetness, and closing his eyes for fear of cumming too soon at the delicious sight. 
You gripped the pillow underneath you, desperate to hold onto something. Your face was half-shoved into the fabric with some drool leaking from your open mouth onto the pillow case as you struggled for breath and involuntarily let out an increasingly loud string of moans and whorish cries for Gar. His cock was so perfect inside of you - a perfect, hot length filling you up. 
Your pussy was dancing somewhere between pain and pleasure, well used by him and tingling with shocks every time he fucked back into you with the sharp movements of his hips. So you almost thought you were mistaken when you felt that thing. That extra bit of thickness prodding to fight its way inside of you. 
“Gonna cum.” He grunted, his voice garbled down to a broken mess of consonances by now. At this point, one word syllables was all he was working with. 
He was already so big, it seemed impossible that there was more of him. But you definitely felt it. That extra bit of something at the base, that extra girth of his already impossibly long cock that he was shoving inside of you with each pass. More and more of him with each time he fucked his hips forward. 
It felt so fucking impossible. 
“Gar!” 
Your voice was a whiny, high-pitched howl that you couldn’t even recognize, a plea for him to slow down, or give it to you - you weren’t entirely sure. Your pussy ached with a hot fire that you had never felt before and you wanted more. You really couldn’t imagine him stopping at this point. If this was going to break you - then so be it. 
“Take it.” 
He growled, shoving his hips so close to yours, spreading your pussy open with the impossible thickness of his cock, and that even thicker thing blooming at the base. It felt like it was going to split you in half, but it felt too fucking good to stop. 
“Take it, fucking take it-” 
His words dissolved off into a shuddering moan as he gripped your ass even tighter, pulling you back into his pelvis, shoving his cock impossibly deep inside of you as your pussy somehow accepted his gigantic size. 
His words had you faint and hazy, the sound of his voice like that making you more drunk than any booze ever could have. You knew that those words - his voice in that ravenous tone, it would echo inside of your mind forever. It would be something that you thought about every single time that you touched yourself from now on. 
He leaned down to drape his body over yours - creating a wonderful slick of sweat and damp skin on skin that warmed you in the coolness of the room as he pressed right up against you. 
He mouthed at the back of your neck and across your shoulders, leaving more sharp lines with his teeth, determined to mark you. Your pussy was almost numb with the pleasure, absolutely throbbing around him, but the feeling of him swelling even more inside of you was unmistakable. Somehow, his already large and impressive cock was growing larger. 
In your babbling haze of pleasure, you couldn’t find your voice to relay this strange feeling to Gar. So you were only able to lay there and clutch at the pillow as he dug his fingers into your hips - hard and possessive, as he shoved his cock even deeper inside of you and began spilling his cum inside of you in hot, thick waves. 
“Y/N, fuck - love you,” 
Somehow, his cock continued to expand inside of you. It was an entirely strange feeling, but not an unpleasant one. It was something your body began to take pleasure in. Something that had you letting out a strangled moan as he bit at the back of your neck and groaned into your skin, gently humping his hips into you as he rode out his orgasm. 
He was so swollen and thick inside of you that it felt as though your pussy might burst, the outer ring of your muscles almost stinging with pain, stretched to the limit where the base of his cock was lodged inside of you. He was slick with your wetness, but not a single drop of his cum had leaked out from where you were locked together - you could definitely feel that. 
Gar moved to pull back, seemingly unaware of the strangeness going on down below. When he did so, a sharp pain rocked you as he pulled at your most sensitive, stretched-out muscles. 
You loudly winced in pain and he immediately stopped his movements. 
“What’s wrong?” He asked, breath puffing out over your neck, his voice returning to its usual brightness as he was shaken from his pleasure haze by his worry for you. 
“Just stay still.” You instructed. 
Your legs were shaky, your muscles weak from the intensity of the sex. You were still high up on your knees where Gar had put you, tiredly trying to support your own body weight. Struggling with that task as your thighs quivered, so fucked out from his excellent job fucking you. You unconsciously squeezed yourself around him and he let out a groan - clearly still sensitive. 
He tried again to pull himself out, not yet understanding the situation, and you let out a sharp hiss of pain as the thickness of his cock tried to breach through you without success. He was stuck inside you. 
The realization flashed through your mind. Oddly enough, you knew exactly what was happening. One too many late nights plagued by nightmares (that had turned out to be glimpses of the future) had caused you to end up reading some… interesting fiction to fill your late night hours. So you knew what this was. At least, a fictional approximation of it. That’s what you get for dating a guy with animal DNA in his system, you guessed. 
“Gar.” You said, a warning in your voice. “Just. Stay. Still.” You gritted your teeth, praying he would listen this time. 
“What? What’s wrong?” He said, his voice quickly escalating with panic and worry. 
He raised his head up from your neck, moving to look down toward the space where you were joined, looking to inspect the problem. This was a movement that jostled things, and caused another a small jolt of pain. 
“Gar!” You gasped, voice warning him to stop once again. “Just - just lower us down so I can lay on the pillows, okay? Be gentle. Please.” 
“Why? I can just pull out, right? Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to, I swear, Y/N-” Gar began a rambling panic, and you knew the news you had to tell him wouldn’t calm him down at all. 
“You’re stuck inside me.” You told him. 
“Stuck?!” Gar shrieked with shock, his voice sharp right next to your ear in a way that made you flinch. “Wh-what do you mean? Did I do it wrong? Fuck - I must be the only guy who messes up having sex, I am such a fa-!” 
“It’s not your fault, Gar.” You said, quickly cutting him off. Your legs shook more, and you yearned to rest against the bed. “Just lower me down to the bed, please.” 
He began to do so, easing your joint bodies down toward the bed, letting your legs untangle and stretch out - the soreness from how roughly he had fucked you was already setting in. 
“What the hell is happening, then? How did I get stuck? I’ve literally never heard of this happening to anyone ever.” Gar said, clearly exasperated. 
He settled in, laying against you. As he put his weight against your back, his cock sank somehow even deeper inside of you. This sent latent shocks through your overly sensitive, worn-out pussy, causing you to let out a quiet whimper. 
“Sorry.” Gar mumbled as he heard the quiet sound. 
You really didn’t need him to apologize. It had been the best sex of your life. 
“Just - just pass me my phone.” You said. 
The only way you could think to properly explain it to him would be to look up some diagrams and perhaps show him your AO3 history. It was strange to see, and feel some of those wild fictional concepts coming to life right between your legs, but hey - at least you weren’t as unknowing and freaked out as him. 
Gar glanced at both night stands flanking the bed and then sighed. 
“I don’t see it.” He told you. 
Right. You had left it in the kitchen before you went to shower. 
“Then… pass me your phone.” You said. 
He would end up with some very weird shit in his search history, but this was quite literally, his problem. Technically - it was both of your problem, considering it was currently between your legs. And he was your boyfriend, and you definitely weren’t going to break up with him over this. Especially with your reading history, you found it to be more of a turn-on than you were willing to admit. 
Gar reached out to the night table on the other end of the bed, something that caused more jostling and another sharp gasp of pain from you. He mumbled a chorus of ‘sorry, sorry, sorry’ as he grabbed the phone and then returned. He blanketed his body over yours once more, relaxing into his position on top of you as he passed the phone to you. 
It took you about an hour to fully explain the concept to Gar. There were a few diagrams available - ones that had been drawn by writers in the genre. But most of the explaining was done by your hand movements, showing him how it was possible to get ‘stuck’ because he had moved smoothly and pleasurably and first, and then essentially - based on biological instincts, and no purposeful intent of his own: he had knotted you. 
“So you know this from a story?” Gar asked, trying to confirm the source of the information. 
“A few stories.” You told him. 
You didn’t want to divulge just how many stories of the genre you had read and fantasized about before. You were glad that your face was half-buried in the pillow, and Gar couldn’t see the expression of partial guilt on your face as you tried in vain to hide your kinkier side from him. 
“So how do you know it’s true?” He asked. 
“Because you’re literally stuck inside me right now.” You said, voice dancing with a laugh. “And in fiction, it’s usually something that happens with characters who are half-human, half-animal. I think we know which part of you is doing this.” 
Gar sighed, leaning down to rest his head between your shoulders. Clearly he was frustrated at the lack of predictability. He was frustrated that this was just another aspect of his life that couldn’t be normal. 
“Fiction is the only good reference we have to go off.” You said. “Rachel can bring people back from the dead, Kory can literally shoot fire out of her hands, and you can turn into a giant tiger. I think we passed reality a long time ago.” 
“So… when does it stop?” Gar asked. “As much as I enjoy being this close to you, I don’t wanna hurt you.” He rubbed his hand lovingly along your bare side, a genuineness in his voice that made you absolutely thick with love. 
“In the stories I’ve read…” You were also hesitant to share this answer. “Anywhere from a few minutes to… several hours.” 
“Hours?!” Gar let out another indignant shriek, and your muscles tensed. “We’re gonna be stuck like this for hours? Wh-what if it doesn’t go down at all? What if we have to call 9-1-1 and get my dick surgically removed?” 
“It’s gonna be fine, Gar.” You told him, trying to be the soothing calm to his unnecessary panic. “It’s your body’s natural instinct. Your body knows what to do. Just relax. It’ll probably help.” 
“My body’s natural instinct?” Gar echoed back the words. “So what… the animal inside me wants to get you pregnant?” 
Your face burned at the words, and you wondered if Gar felt your pussy flutter around him. 
That did appear to be the truth. A large part of you had wondered why this had never happened to him before. His cock had reacted differently when it had just been your mouth or your hand, or when you had made him cum in his pants dry humping against each other. It was like some animal instinct inside him took over when his body felt your pussy around him - like that thing inside of him really was determined to get you pregnant. 
It was a thought that made your stomach roll with heat. The part of you that loved being Gar’s, the part of you that loved him and everything about him so dearly. Of course you wanted a family with him. Of course you wondered what your little green haired babies would look like. 
“That seems to be the case.” You said, slightly breathless in your reply. 
Gar wrapped his arms around you, tucking his strong grip between your stomach and the mattress to hold you tightly. 
“Would you wanna keep it?” He asked, voice quiet. It was something he did when he was afraid to know the answer. “If you did… end up pregnant?” 
He was leaving the choice entirely in your hands. As though he had no say in the two of you starting a family. But he was good like that - he knew that it was your body you would be sacrificing for those months, he knew it would be asking a lot from you. 
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” You told him. “I’d wanna have your baby.” 
Gar moaned quietly at this realization. 
… 
You chatted about other things for a while - what you were gonna make for dinner, hopes of the other Titans to make-up and come home, wondering when Conner was going to wake up, wondering what Krypto would eat because you didn’t have any dog food in the house (wondering if you should go out and buy some dog food). Eventually, you dozed into sleep and Gar fell asleep on top of you. 
… 
Gar woke up before you did. 
His cock had slipped out of you while he had slept, and he felt an insane sense of relief to look down and see his usual soft member hanging out between his thighs, no longer stuck inside of you. 
Then - he became very distracted by something else. 
The sight of your pussy - fucked raw, slightly gaping, with white cum flowing out of you. So much cum. 
Gar bit his lip, suppressing a groan - he wanted to be quiet. It would be rude to wake you. 
His eyes flickered over to your sleeping face, wanting to check - and yes, you were in the middle of a deep, peaceful sleep. You had been worn out from the intense, rough fucking. You deserved to get all the sleep that your body needed now. 
Gar’s eyes went back to your pussy, and entirely against his will, his cock stirred to life between his thighs. He was still covered in the mixture of your wetness and his own cum, and god - the smell. He knew that his sense of smell was infinitely more sensitive due to that animal part of him, and fuck - this had to be his new favourite smell. 
The tang of your natural wetness mixed with his own cum. The undeniable scent of him just pouring out of you. The fact that he could smell how well he had claimed you. 
Gar itched to touch you more, and gripped a fist tightly, resisting the urge. 
It would be rude to wake you. 
But maybe - he didn’t have to. 
While sitting back on his heels, he inched his touch forward, and oh-so-gently eased two fingers into your pussy. He just needed to feel you - he needed to feel what he had done. Your pussy easily gave way to his touch, and more of his cum came gushing out around his fingers - he was met with another pungent burst of that perfect smell, and his cock ached between his thighs. 
He couldn’t help himself. 
He gently scooped through the mess, careful not to be too rough with your sensitive, fucked-out pussy as he gathered the mixture of your cum and his on his fingers - and then he brought this hand toward his hard cock, spreading the mess across himself. He choked down a loud moan, wanting to stay quiet for you. 
He wrapped a tight fist around himself, and began jerking off earnestly - he needed to cum. He needed to capture this moment in his mind forever. 
His eyes couldn’t race fast enough to take all of you in - your beautiful, peaceful sleeping face, the soft muscles of your back, the way your breasts were pressed against his pillows, showing off the gentlest peak of the side, round fat. The thickness of your spread thighs, slightly marked by his dull nails scratching you earlier, the perfect plumpness of your ass, and your perfect pussy leaking his cum - the ultimate mark of his claim on you. 
All of it had Gar fucking his own hips into his fist fast, biting down on his lip hard to conceal growls deep within his chest. 
Within a minute, he was overwhelmed - by your beauty, by the perfect smell, but the idea that he had you, perfect you, and he would get to have you forever - and all too soon, he was cumming again. Not nearly as much this time - a meager few stripes that leaked across his fist and sprayed out across your thighs and his own. 
Perfect. 
He felt much better now. 
He knew that it would be polite to clean you up, so that you wouldn’t have to wake up to the mess. The first thing he spotted was his own shirt that he had shed off in a haste earlier, and he wiped you down with that (and let out a growl when even more cum came spilling out of you the more he wiped) - before he went to the bathroom in order to get a warm cloth. 
Once you were as cleaned up as he could get you (he was partially impressed and partially embarrassed by just how much cum he had fucked into you) - he found a pair of your panties and slipped them onto you, leaving a small kiss on your ass through the fabric before he covered you up with a blanket. He could have spent all day in bed with you, but you had requested pasta for dinner. And he was nothing if not a servant of your every need. 
… 
You had dreams of a green haired little boy with your skin tone, and you wondered if it was purely fantasy, or your powers trying to tell you something. 
… 
You woke up feeling unpleasantly empty. 
You knew in a moment that Gar’s knot had gone down and he had successfully pulled out of you. It left your pussy sore, but not unpleasantly so. He had also managed to dress you while you were sleeping. Well, he had put a pair of panties on you. 
Your body must have really been exhausted from the sex for you to sleep so deeply, but it was something you were grateful for, considering how many nights you had laid awake sleepless due to your nightmare-like visions and the worry they caused you. 
With your upper half bare, you still felt a slight chill - you got up and grabbed an oversized, cotton band tee shirt that Gar often liked to steal from you and shoved it on. As you moved, you noticed that the modest cotton underwear he had put on you were slightly damp against your pussy. You didn’t think much about it. 
You continued on, shoving your feet into a pair of slippers you had left in Gar’s room to shield you against the coldness of the floors. You heard music coming from the kitchen and followed the sound, smiling widely when you saw Gar stirring a pot and swaying his hips, dancing to a Cardi B song. He was dressed in an oversized green hoodie that made him look delightfully cozy and a pair of sweatpants. The moment he saw you, he put down the spoon he was using and turned to pause the music. 
“You’re awake.” He gave you a small, lop-sided grin. “I tried to clean you up as best I could, but there was a lot… a lot of… cum.” 
His hesitance to say the words was entirely adorable - especially considering how filthy his mouth had been just hours before. His persona outside of sexual encounters shifted entirely, and it was one of those things you loved so much about him.
That would explain why your panties were damp. 
He cleared his throat, quickly shifting the tone of the conversation when you didn’t respond. 
“Look, I’m sorry about earlier, I kn-” He began to apologize, and you were quick to cut him off. 
“Don’t be sorry.” You said. 
Gar’s brows curled with confusion and you stepped closer to him, leaning your body against him, reaching up to smooth your hands over his arms and across his shoulders. You pressed your forehead into his and his hands took a natural place on your waist. His expression softened as he realized that you weren’t mad at him or upset with him in any way. 
“Don’t even think about apologizing, Gar.” You told him firmly. “You don’t have to apologize for what happened earlier, because I loved it. It was fucking amazing. That was the most amazing sex ever.” 
Of course, you had to start by assuring him of this fact. His skills were well pronounced and he had to know that he had made you feel a multitude of pleasure that you had never felt before. Something that you knew you wouldn’t be able to get with anyone else but him. 
“The ending… I know it was… weird. Neither of us really saw it coming. Which is strange, considering my powers.” You said, chuckling lightly as the joke flowed naturally from your lips. 
Gar let out a laugh at this. 
“But I love that side of you.” You declared, absolutely certain. “I love the animal part of you as much as I love that sweet, soft side of you.” 
You leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss, skimming your teeth along his bottom lip in a tentative bite as you pulled away, showing him a little roughness of your own. 
“I’ve never been afraid of the tiger, you know.” You added on, your thoughts on the matter absolutely final. 
Hearing you say that made Gar’s heart flutter. It was something you had told him before - after he had taken down your attackers at the asylum. But back then, he had been convinced that you were just trying to placate him. He had thought you were just trying to soothe his anxieties about hurting someone for the first time. Now he heard it for the genuine sentiment that it was: you saw his animal side, and rather than being afraid of it, you embraced it. 
“I love you so much.” He said, a heartfelt whisper that warmed you from the inside out. 
“I love you so, so very much.” You told him, and he kissed you again. 
“I made dinner.” He announced. “The pasta you wanted.” 
It was something you had discussed earlier, when you had still been locked together in that slightly uncomfortable position, a lovely food smell now filling your nose. He was a talented cook. Just another thing about him to love. 
Krypto wandered in, the padding of little doggy feet catching your attention. When you leaned down and began petting him, cooing at the dog with a sweet little baby-talk voice - Gar couldn’t help but imagine the two of you in your own family home, with your own pets, making dinner for your kids some day. Maybe it was a pipe dream to think a couple of super-powered freaks like the two of you could have the white picket fence dream, but Gar wanted it so badly, because he wanted it with you. 
“I also made cookies, but they turned out weirdly… flat.” Gar said, moving to the counter, and picking up a large plate that was covered in plastic wrap. 
He presented them to you, and you couldn’t help but giggle as you saw something that you easily recognized as an amateur baking mistake. He had either set the oven to too low of a temperature or neglected to refrigerate the cookie dough before baking them, causing the butter to melt before it actually started cooking. 
“I’m sure they’ll still taste good.” You assured him. And to make sure of this, he handed you one to sample. You tasted it - the mixture of sugar and butter and chocolate chips could never go wrong. “Delicious. Everything you do always turns out right.” 
It was a clear hint at what had happened earlier, and Gar grinned at you. 
“Everything I do for you always turns out right.” He corrected. “And I’m thankful for that.”
...
A/N: Please keep in mind - this fic is a oneshot, and there will not be a continuation or a 'part 2', so please do not ask for one. If you are going to comment, please comment about the body of work that has been written. Reblogs and comments are appreciated, and if you want to check out more of my Gar Logan fanfics, definitely check out my DC Titans masterlist!
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fairy-seong · 3 years ago
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lee jaeyoon x fem!reader
genre: smut, suggestive
warning(s): smut, sexual content, lap dancing, swear words, maybe grammar mistakes i am too tired to check rn; i also lost the original ask i am so sorry; one of the requests which didn't make it in time for kinktober
song suggestion: shlohmo & jeremih - bo peep
With his hands tied behind his back, Jaeyoon did not expect this when you told him you had a surprise. Neither did he expect you to appear on the doorstep wearing the white lingerie set he bought for you on your anniversary. The one which always drove him crazy and which he always loved to see a little more on the bedroom floor than on your body.
“You seriously won’t let me touch you?” Jaeyoon asked, leg bouncing on the floor.
His lips are pursed in a thin line, eyes watching your silhouette move to the center of the room. With your back turned to him, you sway your body to the beat, rolling your hips back. You turn your head slightly, biting your lower lip as your fingers snap the side of your underwear, palms gripping the flesh, gripping it hard just like Jaeyoon loves to do. The rose-tinted stripes left behind on your ass looked so inviting, almost begging him to leave his own mark on your body again. And again.
He swallows hard, eyes widening when you walk in his direction. His mouth dries up, watching you drop to your knees and push his legs open, your face barely an inch away from his cock. Fuck, you looked so sexy as you pressed your lips over the thin fabric of his boxers. He was already hard, but damn, you always knew how to make him lose his mind.
You circle around his large frame, palm dragging over his broad shoulders, and you have to stop a giggle when you feel his body tense. He really wanted to feel your hot skin against his, to swallow your moans and the cries of his name as he rocks inside you.
“Do you want to see more?” you ask, lifting his chin with two fingers.
Jaeyoon nods, licking his lips with a cheeky smile.
You could tell just how eager he was as you positioned yourself in his lap. His hard-on threatening to poke out of his underwear any second.
With your back flush against his chest, you place both hands on his thighs to support your weight. Jaeyoon is impatient and you can feel him buck his hips up right before you roll your ass against his cock to the rhythm. Your head rests on his shoulder as you plant a lingering kiss on his jaw.
“I bet you wish you could touch me so badly right now,” you spin around, grinding against his erection again.
You trace his muscles with your fingertips before moving closer, mouth crashing against his. It was messy and lust-filled; Jaeyoon’s tongue imprinting the lewdest images onto our own with wet kisses on the side of your neck. Your small palms roam around his naked torso, nails grazing his abs while he gets even more desperate, thrusting upwards, wishing to feel you even closer.
His low grunts and whines have already replaced the music in your ears, but you couldn’t complain. Those moans of your name and how hot you look are the most amazing thing you ever heard.
The wet spot in your underwear is only getting bigger with each of Jaeyoon’s thrusts through your clothes. You know how much he enjoys getting you so wet and you purposefully drag a finger over the outline of your soaked pussy.
“I guess I made a mess again,” you whisper in his ear.
“Shit…”
You bat your long lashes at him with a not-so-innocent smile.
You tease him even more as you push your underwear to the side for a second, dragging your wetness up and down his clothed erection.
And then he couldn’t take it anymore. Watching how perfectly your pussy fits around his cock, even when he’s not fucking you was more than enough for Jaeyoon to imagine himself holding your hips still and fucking you on that chair until you cry or maybe having you bent against the couch just like he did last time when all your neighbors learned his name.
“My love, you know I can rip this ribbon apart in a second and fuck you so hard you won’t be to walk straight tomorrow,” his voice is sweet as honey while the nastiest images play in his mind.
“Can you, baby?”
You raise an eyebrow, taking your lower lip between your teeth. You get up from his lap, the sound of your heels echoing in the now silent room. Your gaze is locked on Jaeeyon while you unclip your bra slowly, too slowly for his restless self. You grip your chest, nipples turning hard as you pinch them, letting out a tiny whine. He groans at the way you toy with the hem of your lacy thong. He could already see everything, your silky folds, and juices waiting to drip down on the newly washed carpet, but he wanted to feel you more than anything. Taste you too.
“You think I can’t?”
You raise your shoulders as the other piece of fabric pools at your feet.
“Why don’t you come here and show me then?”
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artificialqueens · 6 years ago
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Feelings On Safety (Part 2) (Branjie)- Ortega
a/n: i actually wrote a part 2 to Your Move??? who is she??? i loved the verse i made for these two a lot so when people wanted more i did not at all mind writing it. thank u all for the amazing response to Your Move and i hope u like this as much as u did the first part!!! i feel like u benefit from reading Your Move first but i guess this could be read standalone too?? idk do what u like (Title from Trip by Ella Mai. i listened to so so much Ella Mai writing all this i’m so in my feelings rn)
Summary: Brooke is not falling for her secretary, despite what Detox is telling her. She only wants to be with her every hour of the day, treat her to nice things, make her laugh and maybe sort of make her her girlfriend. Shit, maybe Detox is right after all.
***
Brooke was fucked. Both physically and mentally.
She hadn’t really known when sleeping with Vanessa had become such a regular thing- after the first time she’d felt awkward, she hadn’t known how to play it, and she hadn’t known how Vanessa had felt about things so instead of asking her like a normal human being, Brooke had avoided her instead. That was until around five days later when Vanessa basically locked them both in her office and demanded to know why she was getting avoided as if she had herpes or something, and Brooke stuttered everything out in a completely flustered and very un-Brooke way. Vanessa had watched with a slightly open mouth and a surprised sense of amusement until Brooke was finished verbalising all that she’d been worrying about, and then she’d crossed around to behind Brooke’s desk, sitting on her lap gently and bringing every searing hot memory to the forefront of Brooke’s head.
“Look,” Vanessa had said matter-of-factly, bringing her hands up to cup Brooke’s jaw so that she had no choice but to lock eyes with her. “Did you like fuckin’ me?”
“Oh God,” Brooke had looked away in embarrassment and laughed. “Vanessa, it’s 9.15.”
“Bitch, just answer the question! Did you like it when I let you pin me to the ground and ride my face? Did you like bending me over your desk and spanking and fingering me?”
“Oh Jesus,” Brooke exhaled. She’d missed hearing Vanessa talk like that, her voice all low and sultry and answering her own question for her. “Fuck yes, I liked it.”
Vanessa had smiled. “Do you want to do it again?”
Brooke remembers darting her eyes from Vanessa’s own quickly down to her red painted lips and back up again. She had nodded once, and Vanessa had leaned in and pressed a small kiss to her lips.
“So that’s all that matters. You liked it, I liked it. We both want round two. We know where we both are now so why are we puttin’ up a front about it?”
And after that Brooke had put her arms around Vanessa and pulled her close, kissing her all needy and desperate, and Brooke hadn’t known what she’d been worrying about at all. That had been the second time, and since then there’d been a third and a fourth and a fifth, until Brooke had very nearly lost count. She knew they’d been at it for about a month, which was probably a long time, but for Brooke it had gone by quicker than anything.
But there was only so much sex you could have with somebody before you started developing feelings, and Brooke knew that. If she was being honest, she’d been feeling things that were more than lust for her for quite a while now, and Brooke didn’t really know what to do. Every time Brooke deadpanned something sarcastic about a client she felt a sense of achievement whenever Vanessa laughed, crinkling up her nose and flashing her bright white teeth. Or after they were finished and they were both lying on the rug exhausted, Brooke remembers the first time that Vanessa rolled over, put her head on Brooke’s chest and threw an arm around her waist, and Brooke’s heart had felt like a bubble that was seconds away from popping. The trouble was, how did she breach that topic with Vanessa?
Brooke decided to start small. It was a Friday, and everyone in the office was in a good mood. The week had seemed long, and everyone was excited to go home. Lots of people were leaving early, so when Vanessa bounded into Brooke’s office at half past four, she was excited.
“I think we could be in luck tonight, Ms. Brooke,” she beamed, Brooke wanting to laugh at the now-unnecessary formality. “This place is gonna be dead by quarter to five, and then it’s gonna be just us!”
Brooke smiled at her from her position at her filing cabinet where she’d been putting cases away, her heart lifting at the little phrase Vanessa had used at the end which made her happier than the other girl would know. Still, part of her was scared for what she was going to propose. “Yeah, I wanted to talk about that, actually-”
“Oh. Okay,” Vanessa’s face dropped, her body language instantly disappointed. She gave a sad smile. “You wanna stop all of this, huh?”
“Oh, fuck no!” Brooke replied instantly, the other girl looking so defeated that Brooke wanted to wrap her up in a hug. She was so pleased when Vanessa perked up again, her expression turning happy and curious all at once. Brooke grew nervous. “I just thought…you know, there’s only so much comfort that my office can actually provide. And my flat has like…soft furnishings and stuff.”
Vanessa burst out in a laugh that ripped through the room. “Soft furnishings, bitch what the fuck?! Just say bed. Or couch. Who d’ya think you’re talking with, the queen of fuckin’ England?”
“Definitely not,” Brooke raised an eyebrow. She let the filing cabinet drawer roll shut as she crossed over to where Vanessa had taken a seat. She was still giggling. “Hey. Stop laughing at me, bitch.”
Vanessa bit her lip, trying to hide her smirk. “Or what? You gon’ shut me up?”
Brooke felt like a spring that was beginning to be slowly wound up. She loved what Vanessa could do to her in just a few words. “That mouth’s going to be busy doing something else if you don’t watch it.”
“Like what, eatin’ that pussy out?”
Brooke threw her head back and gave a soft laugh, her hands playing with the hem of her skirt impatiently. “Fuck, there’s never any nuance with you, is there?”
Vanessa ran her tongue along her teeth and smiled as she shook her head. Brooke sighed needily. “Mm, I can’t wait.”
Vanessa frowned in mock-disapproval, tutting gently. “You’re whinier than I am today, Mami.”
“Fuck, stop it. You know what that does to me,” Brooke moaned. She really desperately wanted Vanessa- the week had been long and she’d been too caught up in her caseload to do anything with her- but she also wanted to have her back to her flat, so she decided to gently ask Vanessa again. “So uh…would you want to come round to mine? You know, just so we have a bed.”
Her heart felt like it was in her mouth as Vanessa smirked quietly back at her. She waited for the inevitable rejection, the narrowed eyes and the questioning why, but none of those came. Instead, the smirk broke into a smile and Vanessa shrugged. “Sure. I’d like that.”
Brooke felt a tidal wave of relief wash over her. It was only a small step forward, but they weren’t going to go from casual sex to in love in the space of one conversation. “Amazing. Give me five minutes to finish up here, then we can go.”
So that was how Brooke ended up driving Vanessa back to her apartment, a nervous flutter in her chest as Vanessa sang softly along to whatever was on the radio. They talked easily with each other about little things, Brooke telling Vanessa about her clients and Vanessa laughing, or gasping in shock, or ranting about how much of a cunt somebody was. Brooke was happy that Vanessa didn’t mind her venting, and she hadn’t realised she was still talking until she had walked out the elevator and reached her own front door.
“Sorry,” she said, self-conscious. “I hadn’t realised I’d been ranting so much.”
Vanessa frowned. “Don’t apologise. It’s important to you.”
Brooke’s heart felt all warm and glowing as they shared a smile, only breaking it when she pushed down on the handle and was met by a deafening series of beeping noises that cut through the moment.
“Fuck, what is that?!” Vanessa yelled, holding her ears comically. Brooke hissed as she dashed inside, stabbing at the security system she’d still not managed to get the hang of yet.
“Shit, sorry, sorry, sorry,” she said anxiously, growing frustrated as she pressed button after button with her long talons. “Come on, fuck.”
“Bitch can you hurry it up a little? It ain’t playin’ one of Beethoven’s sympathies, get it movin’!”
Finally, mercifully, Brooke keyed in four numbers and the racket stopped. Registering what Vanessa had said, she turned and smiled at her affectionately. “Symphonies.”
Vanessa looked confused. “What did I say?”
“Sympathies.”
The other girl snorted, shaking her head. “Fuck. Well, are you gonna invite me in?”
The nerves flaring up again, Brooke gestured for her to come inside and watched as Vanessa stepped in, her heels clacking softly against the black marble floor and her eyes wide as they darted about and took everything in. For Brooke it was just where she lived, but she felt suddenly embarrassed at the opulence of everything around her. For Brooke, it had been for convenience’s sake- she hadn’t had the time to sit and work out where to pick up furniture or flooring or wallpaper for her new place so she’d hired an interior designer to do it all for her. It was all marble and dark wood panels and white fluffy throws and rugs, and Vanessa walked down the hallway slowly, as if she was dreaming. She stopped as she came to the living room, and Brooke followed behind her anxiously, wondering if she’d made a mistake bringing Vanessa here.
Brooke watched as Vanessa walked past the two white couches, the tall, dark wood bookcase and the coal fire, and stood at the huge floor-to-ceiling windows with wide eyes, taking everything in. She finally turned around and smiled softly at Brooke.
“Wow. So this is like my Julia Roberts Pretty Woman moment, right?” she laughed gently, visibly overwhelmed.
“Sorry,” Brooke said, without really knowing what she was apologising for. Vanessa cocked her head inquisitively like a little bird, giving a laugh.
“Why? It’s beautiful. Don’t go all coy on me now, Ms. Brooke,” she smiled, shrugging off her pink fake fur coat. For a second she looked awkward as if she didn’t know where to put it, and so Brooke crossed the floor and took it from her gently.
“I like this, by the way,” Brooke said thoughtfully, stroking the material on the outside. It made Vanessa look like a cute little Barbie doll, which she loved. Vanessa smiled shyly.
“It’s probably not…I don’t know…the standard you would buy.”
Brooke rolled her eyes and snorted. “Vanessa, I can’t even remember the last time I bought myself new clothes.”
Vanessa smiled, taking two steps towards Brooke and standing on tiptoe slightly as she leaned into the other woman. “Hmm. I think you look better without any on, anyway.”
Brooke gave a little murmur, draping Vanessa’s coat over the headboard of her couch before turning back to her. “You think that’s when I look best, yeah?”
“No, you look best when you’re naked and on top of me,” Vanessa purred, smiling naughtily before leaning in to kiss Brooke lightly once, twice, then deeply with her hands tangled in Brooke’s hair as Brooke eventually pulled away and led her to her bedroom, her heart pounding in her chest.
The sex had once again been amazing, minute after minute of complete unfiltered lust, and Brooke decided that inviting Vanessa back had been the best decision she’d ever made in her life. As her afterglow hit, she turned and threw her arm over Vanessa who rolled over, smiled, and laced her fingers with hers in a surprisingly intimate gesture that made Brooke’s heart melt.
“That was fun,” Vanessa said, her voice even more gravelly than usual. “You gon’ tell me how a well-educated Harvard grad learns to talk so nasty? Or is that part of the curriculum?”
“Oh, stop it,” Brooke rolled her eyes, reaching back and hitting Vanessa with a pillow in embarrassment. The other girl laughed loudly as she curled herself up into a ball, Brooke thumping her a couple more times before her arm got tired and she threw the pillow away in exhaustion. As her laughter died down, Vanessa gave a sort of contented sigh before she sat up in bed.
“Well, as amazing as that was…I guess I’d better leave now,” she shrugged a little, peering down the side of Brooke’s bed and quickly pulling her underwear on. Confused and a little sleepy, Brooke sat up.
“Oh no, I mean…don’t feel like you have to leave,” she stammered out slightly, wanting to hit herself for how pathetic and needy she sounded. Her worst fears came true as Vanessa smiled at her sadly.
“No, it’s okay, honestly. Thank you for having me round your lovely home,” she said quietly, the humble tone in her voice making Brooke want to scoop her up, take her in her arms and never let go of her. Brooke watched as Vanessa left for a moment and returned with her coat and her heels back on. She awkwardly stuck her head back in the door and gave a little wave.
“Bye, Brooke,” she said quickly, before ducking back out of the doorframe and walking back down the hall, where the front door clicked softly shut behind her.
Brooke. Not with a Ms. attached to it, not a ma’am, not anything else. Just her name on Vanessa’s lips, and even though the day hadn’t ended like Brooke had hoped, this had to be a good sign, surely?
***
On Monday morning, before work, Brooke went to Michael Kors and dropped $425 on a pink, faux fur coat without even so much as batting an eye. In any normal, rational situation, and if the coat had been for her, Brooke would have agonised over the decision for ages- would she get enough wear out of it, was it really worth it, did she have one like it already- but since it was for Vanessa, Brooke made the entire transaction as if she was under a spell. That was kind of how she felt whenever she was with Vanessa, or even thinking about her- enchanted, entranced, and completely and utterly irrational.
As she arrived at work, she had already planned how she was going to pitch things to Vanessa. Of course she’d bought the coat just for her, but that was going to seem fucking weird if she admitted it, especially when she didn’t even know if Vanessa had feelings for her or not yet. So as she walked towards her office and Vanessa’s desk, she slipped the box that the coat came in into an old, battered plastic bag and rehearsed what she would say in her head.
Vanessa spoke first, her eyes lighting up as she saw Brooke. “Hey! Morning, Ms. Brooke. How are you?”
“I’m good. How are you? Did you get home okay on Friday?”
“Mhm. Slept so good afterwards as well,” Vanessa smiled lazily, stretching up to the ceiling. Brooke self-indulgently allowed herself to imagine waking up next to Vanessa on a rainy day and getting to hold her close and make her coffee and bring her breakfast. Fuck, now she was getting delusional. Completely smitten, Brooke put the bag on top of Vanessa’s desk as she spoke.
“Before I forget- remember the other night when we were talking about that coat you have? Well, I was just going through my closet this morning when I remembered, I actually do have one exactly like it,” she said, trying to keep her tone nonchalant and avoid Vanessa’s eyes as she slipped the bag off the box. “It got me thinking- I never actually wear it, and it’s still got all the tags on, so I thought you might get more wear out of it than I do.”
Brooke finally looked at the other girl, who had opened the box and was gazing at what was inside with her mouth slightly open and her eyes wide. Brooke watched as Vanessa lifted the coat up to see it and then put it back down, running her fingers over the fur in disbelief. Vanessa picked out the tags against the label and frowned as she looked at them.
“Brooke,” she began, and Brooke’s heart jumped as she heard her name with nothing attached to it again. “This is Michael Kors.”
“Yeah?”
Vanessa frowned at her. “Well like…how much do you want for it? Because I don’t even know if I could stretch to two hundred this month, I got my phone bill coming soon and it’s already, like-”
“Vanessa,” Brooke interrupted, smiling and trying to hide her nerves. “You don’t…you don’t have to…uh. Just take it.”
Vanessa burst out a laugh, then screwed her face up as she looked at Brooke. “Wait. You’re serious, aren’t you?”
Brooke was now so nervous that she didn’t trust herself to speak, so she just nodded. In haste, she added, “I mean, if you don’t like it I can just give it to charity, or sell it on Craigslist or…whatever.”
Vanessa smiled at Brooke as if she was an idiot. “Sell it on Craigslist, oh my fuckin’ God. I mean, no, I love it. If you’re sure I can just…take it?”
Brooke nodded shyly again. Vanessa gave a little exhale, raising her eyebrows. Finally, she looked up at Brooke and smiled. “Thank you so much, Ms. Brooke. I mean it. That’s real sweet of you.”
“Oh no, don’t worry about it! As I say, I didn’t get much use out of it anyway,” Brooke smiled back, so happy her gift had been well received. She awkwardly shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I guess I’d better get to work. But, uh, hey. Do you want to come round again tonight?”
“I can’t tonight, I’m getting my nails did,” Vanessa pouted. “Can we do tomorrow?”
“Sounds good. See you later,” Brooke gave a little wave and disappeared into her office. Sitting at her desk, she smiled as she watched Vanessa take the coat out of the box again, smile, hug it to her chest, and drape it over the back of her chair. Brooke didn’t have long to bask in her satisfaction- she had a firm meeting this morning and she needed to gather what she needed for that, but she couldn’t help looking at Vanessa through the blinds and allowing her heart to swell up, wondering if Vanessa’s was too.
Her contentedness lasted all of about ten minutes when Detox came barging through her office door and practically launched herself into the chair opposite Brooke before she could say “Hey, girl”.
“Okay, spill,” she suddenly said, Brooke’s heart giving a small jump but keeping herself cool.
“On aisle three? What the hell are you talking about, girl?” Brooke shook her head, clicking at something on her laptop and avoiding her friend’s gaze. She could hear Detox’s voice- faux-inquisitive, as if she already had all the answers.
“I just think it’s funny how your secretary is out there with a new coat. Never seen her wear it before. Obviously looks very expensive. Did she, I don’t know…come into some money, or something?”
“Fuck would I know, why are you asking me?” Brooke kept her tone detached, although a sense of dread was beginning to creep up on her. She finally looked at Detox, who had the biggest, largest, shit-eating grin on her face.
“Well, I don’t know, I thought you might know a little bit about it since, when I complimented her on it out there, she told me it was you that gave it to her.”
“Yeah, and what? It was an old coat, I never wear it, I gave it to her because she has one similar,” Brooke brushed her off, getting up to file something away.
“An old coat? How old was it, ten fuckin’ minutes? Because I know,” Brooke turned around to look at her friend, who had narrowed her eyes at her. “that that coat is from the current Michael Kors Spring/Summer collection, which only arrived in stores yesterday.”
Brooke’s mouth suddenly felt very dry. She said nothing as Detox paused, then carried on. “Now, I’m just wondering, Brooke…why would a lawyer buy her secretary a brand new five hundred dollar coat? And I’ve been going over it and over it in my mind and the only possible conclusion I can come to…is that you’re pussy whipped.”
Brooke looked at her friend, blinked, then frowned. “It was $425, actually.”
“You SON OF A BITCH-” Detox screamed, laughing as Brooke rushed across the room to shush her. “You are! You actually are, aren’t you? Oh my FUCKING God, this is the best day of my life. This is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Brooke Lynn Hytes is fucking her secretary. Oh my God.”
“Shut up, Jesus. It’s not a big deal.”
“NOT A BIG DEAL?! Oh my fuck- now, we can’t be talking a one-time thing, B, not if you’re buying her gifts and shit. How long?” Detox asked her excitedly, her eyes sparkling.
“I don’t know, like a month?”
“A FUCKING MONTH!” Detox screeched again, Brooke terrified that she would have the whole floor outside their door in a matter of minutes.
“D, you cannot tell anybody, I swear to God,” Brooke hissed, agonised.
“Why not, bitch? It’s not illegal. You’re not gonna get fired. We all know Frank from accounts has been having an affair with Ariel, jeez. That’s far worse.”
“Yeah, but…” Brooke frowned, trying to verbalise her feelings and realising they made her sound pathetic. She sighed deeply before she spoke. “If this gets around the office, then it’s just going to seem really seedy and weird and..I don’t want Vanessa to get embarrassed and to think she’s some cheap fucking Bratz doll because she’s actually a really fucking beautiful person and I…I really don’t want to fuck things up with her, okay?”
Brooke blushed as Detox laughed and grabbed her hand. “Aww, that is adorable. Fuck, it just gets better. Not only is Brooke Lynn Hytes fucking her secretary, not only is she a fucking Sugar Mommy to her secretary, but she is actually falling in love with her secretary. Jesus fuck, this is going to be the hardest secret to keep since I found out Paul hires hookers every Saturday.”
“I am not her fucking Sugar Mama, I got her one gift. Jesus Christ, D,” Brooke rolled her eyes as she grabbed her briefcase and made for the door. Stopping, she turned around. “Wait, what was that about Paul?”
Lying in bed that night, she felt as if her heart was never going to stop beating as fast as it did whenever she thought about Vanessa. Detox was being a dick- she wasn’t falling in love with her, that was dumb, they barely knew each other- but she desperately wanted to make things work with the girl. Still unable to stop thinking about her, Brooke rolled over in bed (which she hadn’t yet changed the covers of and never really wanted to), grabbed her phone from its charger, then typed a text to Vanessa without even thinking.
B: Hope you had a good day today. Sorry I never got to talk much :( Glad you liked the coat x
Within a few minutes there was a reply, Brooke smiling without even realising at the knowledge that Vanessa was up late too, and she couldn’t help but wonder if she was up thinking about her.
V: my day was great thanks for asking!!! dont worry we can talk loads tomorrow night xo im actually wearing the coat right now if u wanna see xo
Brooke bit her lip as she threw one leg over the other and rolled over in bed, hoping this conversation was about to go the way she thought it was going. She texted Vanessa a simple yes and waited impatiently as she rubbed her thighs together, her heart leaping as a photo came almost instantly. As Brooke opened the message, she moaned as the picture filled the screen of Vanessa lying on top of her bed with the coat on but clearly nothing else, her golden hair fanned out on the pillow, and her perfect legs stretched out so that Brooke could see she’d kept her heels on.
B: Fuck, this is how I want you tomorrow night    
V: okay Mami xo
“Jesus,” Brooke breathed, teasing herself with her fingers as she stared at the picture and thought about her reply. Suddenly, another message came through.
V: are u touching yourself right now Brooke xo
There was her fucking name again, typed out and on the screen in front of her, and in that moment it was the sexiest thing she’d ever been sent.
B: You know I am
V: well stop. ur not allowed to until u see me tomorrow xo
Brooke frowned.
B: Is that a joke?
V: i’m not playing, baby xo
“Oh, fuck this,” Brooke hissed, frustrated and defiantly moving her fingers underneath the silk of her pyjamas as she looked up Vanessa’s name in her contacts and phoned her.
The bitch had the audacity to pick up after four rings. “Hi, Mami.”  
“What the hell are you playing at, you fucking tease, sending me that and telling me I’m not allowed to get off to it?” she hissed, her breathing all jagged as she felt how wet she was.
Vanessa’s tone came down the line all playful and mocking. “Is that any way to speak to your baby, Ms. Brooke?”
Brooke felt as if she was slowly melting with every word Vanessa spoke. She felt herself whine down the phone. “No, but it’s not fair. I mean, are you touching yourself?”
“Fuck yeah, I’m touching myself, imaginin’ you all hot and wet and frustrated and not bein’ able to have my tongue on you until tomorrow.” Vanessa’s voice was all breathy down the line, the end of her sentence punctuated by a little gasp that made Brooke buck her hips and moan suddenly. Vanessa’s voice came back down the line, stern. “I can hear you touching yourself, you fuckin’ whore. Tell me how wet you are.”
“Fuck, so wet, Mami,” Brooke gasped, shocking herself a little as she used that name she’d thought Vanessa had just reserved for her. She didn’t really know how Vanessa would react to it. If it was anything like the effect it had on her, then Brooke was about to use it a whole lot more often. She was rewarded with a breathy giggle and a sigh down the line.
“Be a good girl and take your hand out your pants.”
Brooke felt herself let out a pathetic sob as she wrenched her hand away. She didn’t know whether she would kiss Vanessa tomorrow or kill her. “Vanessa you drop this act and let me cum right now or I swear to God I’ll spank you so hard tomorrow you won’t be able to sit right for a month.”
Brooke heard Vanessa laugh down the phone. “Fuck, Mami, you know I like it when you talk to me like that.”
Brooke whined, guiltily trailing her hand back down between her thighs. Vanessa’s voice came sharp down the line.
“Brooke, you keep on touchin’ yourself like that and that picture is the only thing you’re gettin’ from me for the next week, and I’m serious,” Vanessa growled, Brooke rolling over helplessly in bed as she finally understood why Vanessa liked her speaking to her all authoritatively, and not being able to touch herself was pure torture.
“Fuck, you’re such a bitch,” she whined, tearing a hand through her hair as Vanessa laughed.
“Stop whinin’ and tell me how much you want me.”
“I want you so bad, Vanessa,” Brooke breathed, her heart feeling like it was about to give out.
“Tell me how much you’re going to punish me tomorrow for doin’ you like this.”
Brooke’s mind felt it was short-circuiting as she spoke, unsure if anything she was saying was making any sense. “I’m not even going to touch you. You’re going to have to fuck me and eat me out and make me cum hard, and I swear to God, Vanessa, it better be the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my fucking life or you’re getting put in my car and dropped off home, all dripping wet like a bad, dirty little slut, and you’re going to have to deal with what I did to you on your own.”
“Fuck, baby,” Vanessa’s voice was hot and urgent down the line, and with a pang of jealousy Brooke could tell she was close. A small, evil little part of her realised she held a lot of power in this moment. She deliberately yawned slowly and affected tiredness in her voice.
“You know what, actually, it’s getting pretty late…I should probably hang up-”
“Oh fuck, no, no, no-”
“Beg me.”
“Ay, fuck, pretty please Mami, please, please, por favor, Mami, me lo merezco, please-”
As Vanessa descended into desperate, feverish Spanish, Brooke cut off the call with a delicious sense of satisfaction. Returning her phone to its charger and jumping out of bed to take a freezing cold shower before she went to sleep, she decided that those $425 had been worth every penny.
***
The marble floor was freezing under Brooke’s bare feet as she carried two glasses of icy water through to the bedroom. The shock of going from the boiling hot bed into the chill of her flat had sobered Brooke up a little, and previously she’d been drunk on lust and a little bit of something that could be more. When her feet hit the soft cream carpet it was a welcome relief, and she quickly padded back over to the bed to where Vanessa lay staring, unblinking, at the ceiling as if she was under a spell.
“Here,” Brooke said gently, as she slipped under the covers and handed Vanessa one of the glasses. The other girl stirred a little, sitting up and fluffing a couple of pillows as she gratefully took one of the glasses and drank a huge gulp of water.
“Fuck. Don’t think I’ll need to go to the gym tonight after that,” she laughed quietly, moving to place the glass down on Brooke’s bedside table then stopping suddenly, her eyes darting around. Brooke suddenly realised what it was she was looking for and laughed.
“Don’t worry about coasters, just put the damn thing down.”
Doing as she was told, Vanessa put the glass down and then sank back under the covers, the two of them laying there silently for a moment. Brooke wanted so much to reach out and take Vanessa’s hand, but she also didn’t want to move unless the whole moment was a dream. Suddenly, she became aware that Vanessa had said something and was looking at Brooke for a reaction. Her face was calm and serene, and it made Brooke wish she had heard her the first time.
“What?”
Her heart fell as Vanessa looked down sheepishly, a light blush hitting her cheeks. “Nothing. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”
Brooke could have pushed her for an answer, but something made her decide against it. Instead, she decided to take another leap. “Hey. You want to order food?”
Vanessa perked up and smiled, nodding enthusiastically.
“Can we get a big fuckin’ messy burrito? Aw wait,” she frowned, glancing at the huge marble clock built into the wall. She turned to Brooke and shrugged. “I should probably get goin’, huh.”
Brooke bit her lip. “You could, or…you could just stay here.”
Vanessa turned to Brooke and looked a little disbelieving. “Really?”
Brooke shrugged and nodded, wanting with every fibre of her being to stay chilled out and neutral despite the fact all of her was screaming silently for Vanessa to say yes. Vanessa smiled gently, reaching across the bed and resting her hand on top of Brooke’s. “That would be nice.”
That night, they hardly moved from the bed. They ordered burritos, like Vanessa had wanted, and watched whatever film had been on TV at the time, talking about little details of their lives that neither of them had known about the other before. When it got to midnight, Brooke realised they had said they would go to sleep an hour ago, but neither of them had been able to keep that promise, too intent on staying up and talking or kissing each other with every lull in conversation. When she saw the time, Brooke sighed in the darkness, pulling Vanessa in close to her.
“We should go to sleep, baby,” she yawned, kissing Vanessa’s neck lightly and wishing that time could stand still. Vanessa squirmed a little in Brooke’s arms as she got comfortable and swept her hair over her shoulder.
“Brooke, I meant to ask,” Vanessa murmured sleepily, and Brooke felt the sudden question make her hang by a thread. “Are we, uh…I mean. Are you thinking we should be exclusive or nah?”
Brooke suddenly tensed up, and she felt Vanessa grow tense underneath her as well. Why was she asking that? Did she want to be exclusive? Is that what she was asking? Or was she afraid of it, only asking when the lights were off and when Brooke couldn’t see her face or her reaction? She gave her another option too- or nah, giving herself an easy out. As Brooke frantically thought about it more and more in the seconds that followed Vanessa’s question, she had managed to completely convince herself that Vanessa absolutely hated the idea of a relationship with her and slightly breaking her own heart in the process.
“Brooke?”
Brooke swallowed. “Uh, no, I mean…we don’t have to be, I mean let’s not put a label on it. Go out with whoever you want, you know. That kind of thing doesn’t bother me, I’m not a jealous kind of person.”
She didn’t know if she’d imagined it, but she felt like Vanessa relaxed in her arms. It felt like a stab to the gut.
***
The plus side to Vanessa staying over was that she had to borrow some of Brooke’s work clothes for the next day, and seeing Vanessa in her own navy pant suit had made Brooke want to immediately tear it off her again. They’d talked and laughed on the way into work as they usually did, Brooke trying to ignore the nagging feeling in her stomach that she’d made a terrible mistake not immediately seizing the chance to make her her girlfriend.
The down side to Vanessa staying over and wearing Brooke’s pant suit was that Detox crashed through her office door around fifteen minutes after she arrived at work, excitedly pointing out to where Vanessa sat on the phone, oblivious.
“WHY is your secretary wearing your clothes?” Detox whisper-screamed, launching herself forward to grip Brooke’s arm.
“Oh, fuck off, D, are you really going to make me say it?”
“Fuck yes I am!”
Brooke rolled her eyes. “Vanessa is wearing my clothes because she stayed over last night, Detox.”
“Fuck me with a baguette, this is the best day ever and it’s only 9.15,” Detox sighed, crashing down into Brooke’s chair as she watched her busy herself around the office. “So when are you asking her on a proper date?”
“Do you not have a caseload to be working on, or am I the only one around here that gets shit done?” Brooke scowled, not in any way in the mood for talking about her and Vanessa considering she’d just blown the whole thing.
“Excuse me, I finished all my cases last week! My new client doesn’t get here til 10. Jeez, what’s got you so touchy?”
Brooke sighed, slamming a huge lever-arch folder into a bookcase. “Vanessa asked me if we should be exclusive last night and I said no.”
“You absolute fucking grade A idiot,” Detox frowned, fixing Brooke with a look of disapproval. “What the hell did you do that for?”
“I don’t know!” Brooke exhaled loudly, tearing a hand through her hair. “It sounded like she was asking me because she didn’t want to be like that with me. So I panicked. I wanted to reassure her.”
“But fuck what you want, right? Look, Brooke, I haven’t seen you this happy since…well, maybe ever. And I also know that you don’t give up easy. At least, you normally don’t, but right now you’re like a kitten in a sock on a freeway and you’ve just accepted your fate.”
“Okay, what’s your advice, Dr fucking Phil?” Brooke raised an eyebrow at her.
“Exclusivity doesn’t matter at this stage, right? I mean, you’ve not even been on a date. So, that’s what you should do.”
“What, ask her on a date?”
“No, yeet yourself off Brooklyn Bridge in a pair of Heelys, fuck yes ask her on a date!” Detox became impassioned, slamming Brooke’s desk and quickly shutting herself up as her eyes darted to the door. Brooke’s heart stopped as Vanessa came in, smiling apologetically and holding a small sticky note.
“Sorry to interrupt- hi, Ms. Detox,” she said softly. “Mr. Blake phoned to cancel his appointment today, he’s got shingles.”
“Hah! Shingles. Is that what they’re calling a hangover these days,” Detox piped up. Vanessa smiled politely then carried on.
“I also wanted to ask, Ms. Brooke, am I able to leave early next Monday night? Like half an hour or so,” Vanessa asked her, darting her eyes to Detox as if she was wishing she wasn’t there.
“Uh, that’s fine, yeah,” Brooke shrugged, distracted by everything going on in her head. “What for?”
Vanessa looked startled, as if the question had been unexpected. “Oh, uh…just a doctor’s appointment, you know.”
“BULLSHIT!” Detox suddenly exploded, scaring them both. “All the doctor’s surgeries close at 4, so leaving at half 4 wouldn’t get you shit. Half 4 is like, prime nail and hair appointment times. The question is…who are you getting your hair and nails done for, Vanessa?”
Brooke narrowed her eyes at her friend as she watched Vanessa laugh awkwardly and blush. “Detox, for fuck’s sake. She doesn’t have to tell you-”
“I’m going on a date, actually,” Vanessa said casually, making Brooke’s whole world stop, freeze and shatter like ice. She was aware Vanessa was looking at her to gauge her reaction, and Brooke was trying her best not to look horrified, but she was aware she probably wasn’t doing a very good job of it.
“Oh. Cool! No, that’s…that’s fine. And I mean, it’s none of my business anyway, so-”
“That’s such a coincidence actually, because Brooke was just about to ask you something!” Detox smiled at Vanessa, then turned her head to look at Brooke patiently.
Brooke was going to slap the bitch. She fixed a fake smile to her face. “Gee, well, I would, Detox, but there’s a loud, obnoxious, LA whore in my office.”
Finally, mercifully, Detox smiled wickedly and slinked away out of the room, making sure to shut the door before retreating back down the corridor. It left the two of them alone together- Vanessa standing opposite Brooke, still gazing at her with interest.
“So, uh, what was that thing you were gonna ask me?” Vanessa scratched the back of her neck and looked to the floor, as if she was embarrassed.
“Well, uh,” Brooke started, equally as embarrassed but aware that she needed to find something to say. “I was, um. Going to ask you out too.”
Brooke’s heart gave a jump as she saw Vanessa’s face brighten up in surprise. “Oh!”
“Yeah, but, uh, you know, no big deal if you’re already going out with this other girl or guy or…whatever,” Brooke stammered her way through her sentence and watched as Vanessa’s smile grew bigger and bigger.
She laughed softly. “He’s a guy. His name is Nate.”
Brooke had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Of course it fucking is. Breathing deeply, she shrugged and moved to sit behind her desk. “Cool. Like I say, it doesn’t matter if you’re already going out with him.”
“No, it’s okay. I mean, I can go out with you and I can go out with him. And I mean, it’s not as if you get jealous, right?” Vanessa commented offhandedly, a little sparkle in her eye sending a sudden flood of tension through the room, and Brooke wasn’t giving in to whatever Vanessa was doing.
“Exactly, yeah. So, uh, is that…”
Vanessa broke into a smile. “It’s a yes. I would like to go on a date with you.”
Brooke tried and failed to bite back a smile which burst out over her face. “Amazing! I mean, fine, yeah. It’s just casual, really, isn’t it?”
“It’s whatever you want it to be,” Vanessa instantly replied. Fuck, how was she so good with her words when Brooke felt like a melted puddle on the floor?
“Can we say, um…” Brooke pretended to look at the diary which she knew was empty. “Friday night?”
“Friday night is good,” Vanessa smiled, biting her lip.
“Good.”
“Good,” Vanessa replied, smiling and locking eyes with her before looking out to her desk where the phone was ringing. “I should go-”
“Yeah, sure,” Brooke nodded frantically, as Vanessa flashed her one last smile and rushed back out to her seat. Brooke hadn’t quite known what had just happened. There were so many things she was feeling, and they weren’t all positive (who the fuck walks around in this day and fucking age with a name like Nate) but she found her heart soaring as one main thought stuck in her mind.
I asked Vanessa on a date, and she said yes.
***
In the time it had taken for Brooke to push her finger to the buzzer at Vanessa’s flat and for Vanessa to appear at the bottom of her stairwell, a thousand thoughts had already seized the chance to run through Brooke’s mind and taunt her. Her outfit- a silk, emerald-green mid-length dress- was too much, and so was her makeup. Her hair looked ridiculous down, all long and wavy and in the way- she would book a haircut tomorrow. Vanessa had probably changed her mind about the entire night, and she was going to look ridiculous standing outside a slightly run-down apartment block in her evening wear. Why had she brought flowers? Vanessa probably didn’t even like lilies, and these were blue ones at that, Christ, what the fuck had she been thinking? The restaurant she’d chosen was too much. It was too opulent and would be too much for Vanessa and it’d intimidate her and she’d want to go home. Did she even like seafood? Fuck, was she allergic to seafood?! Would she be too polite to say she couldn’t have anything on the menu and end up eating a scallop and sending herself into anaphylactic shock?!
Brooke was near enough having a panic attack by the time the front door opened to reveal Vanessa, and what she was wearing only made Brooke ten times more nervous. She stood, visibly nervous, in tall sparkling gold heels, with a gold and silver dress that was dripping in a fringe of jewels to match. Her long hair was loose and wavy like Brooke’s, but hers managed to look so much better than Brooke’s own. Her makeup was beautiful, but Brooke felt she could have opened the door with a bare face and she’d still have looked perfect.
Brooke spoke first. “Hey. You look gorgeous.”
Vanessa scrunched her face up and laughed. “Comin’ from you. Jesus. I feel like a bag of garbage. Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”  
Brooke blushed, and Vanessa seemed to feel a little shy about her outburst as she blushed and looked to the ground. Straightening up, Brooke saw her take a deep breath. “Sorry. Should we, uh-”
“Sure! Oh-” Brooke nervously thrust the bouquet of flowers out in front of her, a bewildered Vanessa taking them in her arms. “These are for you. The colour’s kind of crazy, so you probably won’t like them, but none of the other flowers seemed to suit you, so…”
“The fuck is that meant to mean?” Vanessa laughed, as they reached Brooke’s car and she held the passenger door open for her. “What happened to a red rose or some shit?”
Brooke tilted her head as she tried to explain her reasoning. “Yeah, but they’re so…conventional and classic and very not you. I couldn’t get you any white flowers because that would imply some form of purity,” she raised an eyebrow and Vanessa gave a guilty little sultry laugh. “So I found these. But there isn’t really a flower that can describe you. There isn’t really anything that can describe you.”
Brooke locked eyes with the girl opposite the car to her, who was smiling with her cheeks flushed a little red, and she suddenly realised how intense she’d sounded. Suddenly, Vanessa laughed.
“No, I love them. Thank you. God, why we so nervous about this?” she exclaimed. “I mean most people usually go on a date and then fuck. We got the hard part out the way, this is s’posed to be easy.”
“Right,” Brooke laughed in reply, even though she wanted to tell Vanessa that she was wrong, that the sex was the easy part because they could throw up a front where the only language was touching and kissing and rough and gentle, and if they did speak it was a thousand times easier than anything she’d say tonight because calling the girl she cared so much about a whore and a slut and a bitch when they were under the covers and slick against each other was so much easier than telling her how Brooke actually felt about her.
But Brooke didn’t say all that, of course- she jumped into the car and motioned for Vanessa to join her and the two of them were off on their way to dinner, and Brooke’s nerves weren’t dissipating a single bit.
“So where are you takin’ me? All you said was dress fancy,” Vanessa asked, a little smile to her voice that calmed Brooke down only a little.
“It’s called Le Bernardin. Basically a seafood restaurant, but then I realised while I was waiting on you to come down that I never checked if you liked seafood or not, so if we end up eating McChickens in a car park somewhere then I’ll understand.”
Vanessa gave a little bark of laughter. “No, no don’t worry. I actually love seafood. So is this place like Red Lobster?”
Brooke stifled a laugh- they were about to go and eat from a two hundred and twenty five dollar tasting menu, and Vanessa would have been happy with Red Lobster. “Yeah, a little.”
It was only when Brooke had parked the car, walked with Vanessa into the restaurant, and been sat at their table for a few moments that Vanessa spoke up.
“Brooke,” she said with wide eyes, after having peeked at her menu. “This ain’t like Red Lobster at all, you know.”
Brooke spluttered a laugh, then had to stifle it as the sommelier approached their table. He reeled off all the different wine recommendations, Brooke having to bite the inside of her cheeks as she watched Vanessa’s face grow more and more incredulous with every word he spoke. As he finally reached the end of his spiel and asked Vanessa what she wanted to drink, she cast her eyes to the bar.
“Yeah, uhh, lemme get a French martini,” she said, leaning back in her chair. The sommelier cast a glance to Brooke, who smiled politely.
“Whatever the lady wants,” she smiled, Vanessa smiling back at her cheekily. Brooke ordered a bottle of champagne and watched with mirth as the sommelier walked away shaking his head.
“They got caviar here. Damn, this is a real nice place,” Vanessa said softly, looking at Brooke with concern. “I don’t really know how I’m gonna be able to-”
“Vanessa. I’m paying,” Brooke cut her off, holding her hand up to stop the other girl protesting. “It’s me taking you out on a date. So I’m the one that pays. Have literally whatever you want, I don’t give a fuck.”
Vanessa bit her lip and smiled. “It’s real nice of you to treat me to all this, Ms. Brooke. I won’t complain.”
“Well. You deserve nice things, so,” Brooke shrugged, sensing the shift in atmosphere as she made eye contact with the other girl. Suddenly, she broke it as a waitress appeared with their drinks, Vanessa’s eyes growing wide with delight as her martini appeared in front of her with a wedge of pineapple stuck at the side. They got two glasses of champagne poured, and Brooke held hers up to Vanessa’s.
“What are we toasting to?” she asked, Vanessa tilting her head in thought.
“It is cringey if we say us?”
“It’s not cringey, it’s nice,” Brooke smiled, touching their glasses together lightly. “To us, then.”
“To us,” Vanessa repeated shyly, Brooke amazed at how different she seemed already this evening, how nervous and quiet she was. It was such a change.
They passed much of the evening the same way, talking in dropped tones as if they were whispering. Vanessa ordered a seafood platter and caviar, just so she could say she’d tried it, and Brooke laughed as she took the tiny spoonful she’d been given and scrunched up her face. When her platter arrived, Brooke watched Vanessa look at the heads of the langoustines with interest, before showing her how to take them off. She was currently watching in slight awe as she shucked the oysters surprisingly well.
“It’s like a shot of fish. A fish shot,” Vanessa shrugged, giving Brooke the verdict on the oysters.
“Classy,” Brooke smirked, Vanessa sticking her tongue out at her in response.
“It’s a shame Detox couldn’t have been here. You should have invited her. Then again, she’s prolly outside with a huge cup pressed against the wall,” Vanessa suddenly said from nowhere, Brooke rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, sorry about her the other day. She’s an idiot, but she’s also my friend, so I guess I’m stuck with her,” Brooke pinched the bridge of her nose. Vanessa smiled.
“She’s sweet. So she knows about us then?” she said, clearly feigning disinterest. Brooke panicked.
“Yeah, but I made her promise not to tell anyone.”
Vanessa avoided Brooke’s eyes as she picked apart a clam. “Why, ‘cuz you’re ashamed of me?”
“What? No, Jesus, no. I just don’t want…” Brooke wanted to tell Vanessa everything, but her mouth wouldn’t allow the words to come out. “I don’t want the whole office knowing and chipping in their two cents all the time.”
To her relief, Vanessa didn’t seem offended. “That’s fair. Told my friends about you and that was bad enough.”
Brooke smiled. She liked the thought of Vanessa telling other people about her. “What did they say?”
Vanessa rolled her eyes. “So there’s Silky and Akeria. Silky basically screamed in my ear for a solid half hour. Bitch is nuts. Akeria was like fuckin’ Oprah tryin’ to get all the details. And I mean all the details.”  
“Like what?”
Vanessa raised an eyebrow and gave Brooke a wink. “You know exactly what.”
Brooke shifted in her seat. “Did you tell her?”
“What the fuck do you think, bitch? She got nothin’ from me. Give a girl some credit,” Vanessa rolled her eyes and jabbed a scallop with her fork.
The rest of the night passed by in a blur of champagne bubbles and hushed conversation, Brooke realising halfway through the evening that she had forgotten she’d taken her car, but it didn’t matter. She could get an Uber home, and as she paid the bill she realised with a pang that she didn’t really want the night to end. As the doorman grabbed their coats, Brooke felt a stab to her heart as Vanessa gave a little satisfied sigh, signalling that the night was over.
“Can’t believe you forgot you brought your car,” Vanessa laughed as Brooke finished up ordering her Uber.
“Are you sure you don’t want dropped off? We can go past your flat-”
“Nah, don’t worry. I can get the subway home, it’s not far. Well, thank you for a lovely time, Ms. Brooke,” she smiled, shrugging on her coat. “This was maybe the classiest first date I’ve ever been on.”
Brooke ran her tongue over her teeth as she got her own coat and opened the door for her, pausing until they were back out on the sidewalk to speak again. The evening was beginning to get dark but the streetlamps weren’t lit just yet, and the warmth from the day still hung heavy in the air. “So do I get to take you on a second?”
Vanessa pursed her lips in consideration, smiling playfully as she began to walk away from her. “I’ll need to think about it. Got a lot of demand, you know. Seeing this Nate on Monday. But this was fun, Ms. Brooke,” she said lightly as she turned around. “See you Monday.”
And as Vanessa began to walk away and Brooke saw her Uber pull up beside her, something inside her snapped and broke from all the tension. It was too much for her any more. Ignoring the car that began to toot its horn at her in frustration, Brooke ran as fast as she could to Vanessa, grabbed her hand and spun her round. The last thing she saw was Vanessa’s shocked face as she took her face in her hands and kissed her, rough and protective and jealous, and Vanessa must have been able to tell because Brooke could feel her smile against her lips as Vanessa brought a hand up to tangle in her hair.
As Brooke broke the kiss, she started speaking and wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to stop. “I was wrong. I was a fucking idiot, actually. I do get jealous. Well, I never thought I did, but I do. I can’t stand the thought of you with anyone else, kissing someone else, feeling some type of way about anyone else. And I’m frustrated it’s taken me this long to admit it because, what, I can tell you all the things I want you to do to me when we’re naked but I can’t tell you straight how I feel about you?”
Brooke was scared, frightened, terrified, all of that, but as she looked down she saw Vanessa’s eyes shining in the small amount of light they had on the street, and her smile beaming at her. She seemed so happy and it made Brooke wonder- had Vanessa wanted this all along? “I really fucking like you, Vanessa. That’s why I didn’t want Detox telling anyone about us, because if I fuck this up with you it’ll be the worst mistake I’ve made in my life and everyone would know, and I don’t want people thinking it’s just some fling between the lawyer and her secretary because fuck, I thought that was all it was too but then it just became so much more than that? It started to be about making you happy, and making you laugh, and getting to be close to you and spend time with you, and that scared me so much, you know? And that was why when you asked me if we should be exclusive I said no, because I started overthinking and I didn’t think you wanted that so I just went with it because I thought it’d make you happy, but now I feel like I’ve made a huge fucking mistake and-” Brooke cut herself off as she suddenly gasped for air, pulling Vanessa in close to her and being suddenly so afraid of losing her. She looked into her eyes as she spoke. “Please don’t go on that fucking date on Monday, Vanessa. Please be my girlfriend instead.”
The blood in Brooke’s veins gave a jump as she heard Vanessa gasp with delight as she spoke the word girlfriend, filling Brooke’s heart with so much hope that she felt as if she was on the very edge of a cliff, and if Vanessa said no now she might well go into cardiac arrest. In reply, Vanessa stood on her tiptoes and kissed Brooke gently, stroking her thumb against her cheek in an affectionate gesture that made Brooke want to melt. As Vanessa broke the kiss, she bit her lip and smiled. “God, Brooke, all you had to do was ask. Yes I’ll be your girlfriend. Jesus.”
And Brooke was suddenly so blinded with happiness that she picked up Vanessa, her girlfriend, her fucking girlfriend, and spun her around in the air in the middle of the street, the two of them laughing and giggling like teenagers and Brooke’s heart beating at a deafening pitch in her ears because she said yes, Vanessa was her girlfriend, Vanessa was her girlfriend, and the future was suddenly so bright and exciting and optimistic and full of colour and Brooke could suddenly see the beauty in every single little thing around them, even the fucking bins.
“There was no Nate, by the way,” Vanessa laughed, making Broke stop suddenly and put her down.
“What?”
“There was no Nate. And there was no date. I just wanted to make you jealous.”
“Well, you succeeded,” Brooke laughed, lacing her hand in Vanessa’s.
“I panicked. Said his name was Nate because it rhymed with date.”
Brooke burst out laughing and pressed a kiss to Vanessa’s hair. “You’re so stupid.”
She realised that neither of them had a clue where they were walking. Vanessa seemed to sense the same thing as she suddenly stopped, smiled seductively, and rested her hands on Brooke’s waist. “All night I’ve been thinking that dress would look better on the floor.”
Brooke let out a small whine. There was nobody, not a single person on earth, who could make her feel like Vanessa made her feel, and Brooke wouldn’t trade that for the world. “Come back with me?”
Vanessa leaned in and smiled, pressing her lips against Brooke’s before teasingly breaking away.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
253 notes · View notes
myinspirationisgone · 7 years ago
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1-99
Thanks so much for all the entertainment cutie 💜💙1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?Hmm I think it's pretty equal like a perfect combination of both. I don't like my cereal to be soggy or drown in milk but I also don't like it when it's "too hard" 😂 I like the right amount of crunch though 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?I love it, I really do. Those first few moments of being outside are super refreshing and awakening but after a while of being outside, well my face starts to numb so I don't even feel  the wind anymore hahahaha3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?I can only come up with 2 rn. I've used like tickets from the grocery store, even toilet paper 😂 oh wait I even once used a plastic ruler 4: how do you take your coffee/tea?I like my coffee with milk and 1 sugar cube, my tea either without sugar or 1 sugar cube but that depends on what kind of tea it is. I just don't like it too sweet but I also don't like too bitter so then I'll use 1 cube 🙂 as for the coffee though, I rarely drink regular like I prefer something mocha ish or coconut/bounty from a really good place in Leuven 5: are you self-conscious of your smile?Oh for sure, a little too much probably. I just think it looks weird or ugly. Also because I don't like my teeth, a few years back it was so intense I'd do everything to avoid smiling while showing my teeth. It was ridiculous. I did get over that in the sense that I don't pay attention to it anymore like I'm trying to show my teeth but I do still hate it 6: do you keep plants?Fake ones, orchids and we used to have cacti as well. We don't really do real plants anymore because we forget to water them and then it's just a sad waste. But I do love the fake ones a lot. They look real, brighten up the place and so on 🌵7: do you name your plants?I don't think I ever did 🤔8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?Writing, definitely writing. I've always loved it, the paper doesn't judge yet you get to out what you feel and putting it into words, the mess of thoughts, can really straighten things out. I've been writing ever since I was around 14 so for about 6 years now. I don't do it as much as I used to but I still hold it dear ✒9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?Damn right I do!!! I sing and hum whenever I can, like no matter what I'm doing. Goes from cleaning to working for class to walking outside. At home they tell me to shut up though, since apparently my singing sounds like a cat dying ☺ luckily I still have the shower 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?I sleep on my back, side and stomach actually. It just really depends what I'm feeling that evening. Sometimes I can't fall asleep in a certain position and other days I can. It's weird really but I think my all time fav is like half stomach/half back. Also perfectly comfortable for the boobs.... Tmi sorry 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?Oh shit I don't know actually 🤔 hmmm probably how I got the nickname Nuno since it's like something only my friends know of and my man 12: what’s your favorite planet?I actually don't know that much about the planets. But mercury looks beautiful imo so imma go for that one 13: what’s something that made you smile today?I don't think I've smiled today 😂 waaaait no I did, when you sent me that you asked questions and then that you look forward to reading them oh wait a few things you said today made me smile actually 💕14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?It would look modern but cozy and the old touch of it would be respected. There would be fake plants and carpets. Many pictures and art work up against the wall too. The kitchen would have a major rack of spices and herbs. Oh and a balcony with lights 🙂15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!This is a dope one, the skin peeling off feet was pretty cool too though but I chose.....You become taller in Space. Another change to the human body in micro-gravity is that spine straightens out, as gravity is not pushing you down. In fact you can be up to as much as 5cm taller in the Space Station!!!16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?Definitely the pasta Arrabiata, the spice is just mmm 😩17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?I actually already have died my hair in colors I really wanted it to be. I've had red and blonde hair. For now I'm content with my own color but I might definitely change it up again at some point18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.I've done so many dumb and funny things 😂 I am pretty sure the dumbest thing I've done that is always brought up is when me and my friends went on a trip for like a few days and I was drunk during the day, it was hot and we had tequila and what not so everything like worked a lot faster and heavier. But my friends had been flirting with some dudes there so I thought it was good to start cleaning our apartment so they could invite them over hahahaha I was a mess and I was vacuuming the couch that was covered in popcorn from the night before and it was just yeah, I still get laughed at for it 😂19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?I've tried several times to keep an actual journal but for some reason it never really worked so I gave up on it 20: what’s your favorite eye color?Green, it's so special and mesmerizing. I've actually never seen the color irl cause it seems pretty rare and I also don't know many people but I just know and from what I've seen on pictures, it's the most perfect to me 😍21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.It's like an eastpack lookalike for 10 euros, dark brown. I used it for everything. School, vacations, 1 day trips, festivals ... Honestly the quality was so bomb, actually still is cause I bought it a 2nd time 🙂 anyway, it ended up having holes at the bottom of the bag, it was ripping for real. The front pocket turned into a mess of melted throat tablets cause I put it against the heating next to me in class. Never opened it again. There were earphones in that and for some reason a spoon too 😂 I've been careful with it, thrown with it. Everything 22: are you a morning person?I wish I was, like I really wish I could get out of bed easily and start my day but instead I either don't wake up or I do as a zombie and need a lot of snooze moments 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?Watch tv series and movies, no doubt about it. It's my way of escaping life and I love it a lot 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?Yes there is, you 🙂25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?I don't think I've ever broken into a place. Only an abandoned castle but it doesn't have doors so like..... But I've also had to climb through a window at home cause I forgot my key and no one was home so but does that even count idk26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?Rn my black vans but I've only had them for over half a year now so it doesn't really count. However my first pair of vans ever when I was 12 something I wore with everything. They were my all time go to, super comfy and easy to put on. I wore them for years like at some point the side was coming loose and you vould see my socks like with both shoes even and I still wore them 😂 it was horrible, I was attached to them and couldn't let go. My mom had suggested throwing them away a couple of times but I refused. She eventually took matters into her own hands and threw them away. I fished them back and I still have them somewhere.....27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?Vanilla mint or peppermint, either really 28: sunrise or sunset?I think both have their own charms really. I can't choose like the sunrise is the start of the day, early in the morning when the world is just waking up while a sunset is when everyone is coming alive. Both colors are vibrant, light up the soul 🌄🌅29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?I don't really know actually. I think it has to be when a friend of mine talks about how much he loves his gf, he absolutely adores her and like it's as if he's in heaven when he talks about her30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?Yes, many times actually 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.Oh my... I love socks. I have so many different socks and it's just yes. I love weird socks, I have socks with a cactus on it but also with the brightest colors possible, dots all over or flowers. I had a period of time where I would wear 2 different socks 😂 I'm all about fluffy socks too to wear at home. I sleep with socks when my feet feel like ice cubes and I can't warm them up but halfway through the night I'll get crazy annoyed and take them off. White socks are weird and boring. They make me think of white dads wearing sandals..... 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.Have I ever been awake even after 3 with friends hahahahah oh wait I know. We were all asleep but I woke up once and found myself in like my own drool for some reason and I went like "oh fuck" so I moved my ass and made it seem like it wasn't from me just in case anyone would see it 😳33: what’s your fave pastry?Hmmm I love so many tbh. I think one of my favs is the one with frangipane in the middle like that shit is to die for. If they have it, guaranteed I'll pick that one 🤤34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?I actually didn't have a stuffed animal, at least my fav wasn't one. I carried around a pillow case. My mom used to work at night and I couldn't fall asleep so my dad took my mom's used pillow case and put me to sleep with it. I never let it go again. It was white with blue stripes and I still have it. As for a stuffed animal, I did have one actually, called Stippel. A ladybug hahaha. I might still have it somewhere35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?I do like those but never use them, I only use really simple and cheap pens because I don't write much anymore 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?Hmm maybe A Day to Remember. Nothing too cheery but powerful or Papa Roach, same thing37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?I like keeping it clean but rarely do so actually. Laziness gets the best of me 🙄38: tell us about your pet peeves!I think people desperately fishing for compliments is one and another is people making comments about another person's appearance. In the sense that it's often rude and with disregard of their feelings or the possible effects of it. I have more I think but these 2 come to mind right away 39: what color do you wear the most?Grey/black, I do try to wear more color since I've started to like that more and appreciate it too. However my closet is still mostly dark 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?I have a pair of earrings, cherries. My brother got them for me when I was younger, thought they looked cute and chose them for me. If I remember it right he even paid for it with the money he got for like birthdays etc so I cherish them dearly 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?That has to be "My favorite mistake", it's one of the last ones I remember reading. It's a really nice love story and also has a lot to do with letting your walls down and letting someone special in 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!I do actually, it's in Leuven. It's super tiny but it has like fake plants all over it and the front is entirely made of glass. There's a little bar and people can use iPads there. They have the best coffee I ever had tbh. Like so many special kinds too. They also have fresh smoothies and juices, along with a variety of tea43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?My mom hahahaha 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?I actually don't remember a moment like that, things have been too much lately. Even in my sleep I haven't felt at peace 45: do you trust your instincts a lot?I never do actually or at least not a lot. I always think I'm wrong about everything and jusy have very little faith in myself and my abilities46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.I clogged the toilet, it was a shitty situation. I need to go to hell I swear 😂😂😂47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?Lobster and goose liver, both include torture so I'm against it heavily. Have never and will never eat it 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?Probably the dark and being abandoned so yes both are still the same hahaha 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?I do like it actually and there's something very classy about records, I just love it. Hope to own one myself one day, a recordplayer. The last one I bought was for my mom actually, of Oscar and the wolf50: what’s an odd thing you collect?Screenshots ☺ hahahaha no idk I collected Little Petshop animals as a kid, Me to You bears and I still collect gems so 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?Robin Schulz & Richard Judge - Show me love 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?Oh the couple one where the guy looks at the 2nd girl and then the uh Joe Biden ones too idk many really 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?I've unfortunately never watched any of those but they are all on my list to watch actually, all classics and I love those 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?My mom's yesterday after leaving my dog at the vet.. She teared up badly55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?I don't think I've ever done something truly dramatic to prove a point really 🤔 I don't recall anything at least56: what are some things you find endearing in people?- An amazing sense of humor- Listening skills- Care for animals- Adventure oriented- Respecting, being real- Honesty- ... 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?Hahahahaha this song always gets to me and does make me dramatically reenact the lyrics.  I once sang this one with friends and we filmed it, tried to make our own music video on it. It was a flop for sure but we had the best time58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?Jolien is the wine mom, also because she has a glass of wine often and I'm definitely the vodka aunt, it's me 😇 59: what’s your favorite myth?"According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves." - Plato 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?I love poetry, I've been quite busy with it myself at some point. I think Shakespeare's sonnets are some of my favs along With Edgar Allan Poe's. Both are true geniuses 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?I don't know if I've ever given a stupid gift, not to brag but I always go for something personal. Pick up on the things people mention and get them something like that so they're never really disappointed and also don't consider their gifts stupid. As for the stupidest I've ever received, I have no idea again. I'd say something like underwear but I actually love getting that so 🤷‍♀️ hahahaha 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?I don't actually 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?My music I don't have organized, unless it's like a file on my laptop but my books are definitely all nicely put on their shelve and in a way that it goes from like the biggest book to the smallest 😂 so I'm not that strict but I also don't like for them to be in any other order than that so 64: what color is the sky where you are right now?Dark dark daaaaark blue. It's almost midnight so65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?No one actually, I'm fine on my own and don't feel the need to hang out with anyone whatsoever66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?Pretty simple, faded pink with white or either bright/dark red with white. I think those are beautiful colors67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?I love it even though it also scares me. It feels idk empty but like a peaceful kind, like the world has stopped spinning for a bit and you can really take a deep breath 68: what’s winter like where you live?It snows for like 3 days, the whole country is in panic. The ER is flooded, car accidents everywhere. The trains stop working and the busses don't show up. The rest is rain and cold 😂69: what are your favorite board games?Hmm monopoly, "mens erger je niet" (sorry don't know the English translation) and yahtzee 70: have you ever used a ouija board?No never and even though I'm curious, I'm also way too scared to try it because I believe in ghosts/spirits so much71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?Something forest fruit ish, it's perfect really. But I love many kinds. Citrus and red fruits, apple/cinnamon, earl grey, ...72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?I definitely have to note things down but even that I often forget 😂 my organizing skills are uh not so present 73: what are some of your worst habits?Acting very childish is the worst one for sure. Aside from that leaving things messy and procrastinating are my other worst ones. Trying to work on all, bit by bit but old and bad habits die hard 😕74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns./ these are weird questions75: tell us about your pets!Vinkie: he's a bird that fell out of the nest into our garden but with the cats living here he would've quickly died so we took him in and took care of him, fed him and he's been with us for over 5 years now. Singing to us 🙂Whisper: he's an agapornis, mini parrot. He's something else. He makes a loooot of noise so his name is quite ironic. He has a big ass cage where he flies and climbs around in. Whenever there's music on he will whistle along. He jumps up when we walk by too fast but when the cat is sitting next to his cage he'll try to grab their tails 😂 same for the dogs.....Chanel: she's a rescue dog from Greece. She came to us as a foster but we all, my brother mostly, got attached to her so we decided to keep her. She's really smart, she knows how to open doors and even flip the keys. She follows her nose wherever it takes her, even if that means jumping over a 1m50 gate and take herself for a walk. We run after her nearly daily but she's a sweetheart. She adores to cuddle and is extremely soft. She's also made of elastic and has a crazy flexibilityIdéfix: my little man. Tossed in a dumpster in a plastic bag, comes from Spain. He's a real cutie, will do whatever to be able to be close to me and lie on my lap. He's also a little bastard that knows exactly how to jump on the table, dressoir, chairs and garden table. He snores and sighs like the cutest. He loves fruit and even pickles Sky: she's a cane corso, big girl. But a real sweety too. She loves cuddles and if she could then she would get on my lap as well which she actually does. She uses her size to her advantage to sit on top of Idéfix to get his spot. She drools like crazy when waiting for her food. She adores snow and waterAtalo: the boss at home. He's Idéfix's best friend. He's a very loyal dog, sometimes stubborn asf though. He is very gentle and will always take a treat with his tongue and not his teeth. He watches over his pack like a real guard dog and when crying he will wipe the tears away. He comes from Greece Lucky: we took her home with us when we went on a trip to Greece. She was only 2 weeks old and we bottle fed her. She's a real badass. She will smack me to let me know she needs food and she yells to get inside or go outside. She like sleeping under blankets close to whoever she's sharing the bed withJoy: she's a bully, she will slap the others when they walk by and she bites everyone who pets her but asks to be pet. She's a little fatty and looks really funny when she runs. Occasionaly she gets on my lap for cuddlesKyoko: I can carry her around like a baby and she will attack when I try to put her down cause she doesn't want that. She's really sweet and tries to cuddle with the dogs when they're near her. She does kinda live at the back of the house cause the rest is too busy for her 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?I guess summarizing but I wanted to take a break so I guess I don't have to do anything rn and can answer these questions to keep myself entertained and distracted 77: pink or yellow lemonade?Yellow well or orange 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?Fanclub, they're fucking adorable and clumsy. I get why some might get annoyed by the little guys but I mean come on, they're just animated movie characters like the fuss was a bit too extreme 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?The person I love most has done many cute things for me. Took a picture of 2 flowers that reminded him of us. But he also writes stories, one in particular about Poppy and Wormy which warmed my heart. His entire presence is the cutest thing ever to me 🍅80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?They're dark brown, light green and cream color. I chose all because of their earthly tones and idk I like having warm, calming tones. Green also used to be my absolute fav color 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of./ again really odd and I don't even remember their eyes..... Woops 82: are/were you good in school?I used to be in elementary, then started slacking once high school started. Got better again, started slacking again. Graduated high school, barely. Then dropped out of uni and trying to make it in college rn so we'll see how "good" I am once the exams have passed83: what’s some of your favorite album art?/84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?I'm not planning on anything, even though I'm always thinking of it because of the love I have for tattoos but rn idk, I need to be more sure before I can say I have an actual idea. I want it to be meaningful but also not mainstream85: do you read comics? what are your faves?I don't hahaha, I'd love to one day though 86: do you like concept albums? which ones?I'm pretty sure idek what those are. Lemme google real quick, ok do I don't know any but the idea seems really cool to me 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?Every single Disney classic obviously. But also uhm 🤔 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?Is Banksy a movement? 🤔 cause then yes, aside from that I really have no idea how to interpret this question so please bare with my stupidity 89: are you close to your parents?I am really close with my mom, a lot more distant with my dad but it's okay90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.Venice; it's so dreamy there. It's almost unreal like the lives are so different there. The streets are made out of water most of the time, everything goes by boat or on foot. It's so beautiful like the buildings are really something else, incredible architecture. Very colorful and the little gardens here and there brighten it up. But also the squares are super cozy, benches and trees everywhere, surrounded by houses. When I went there it was raining so everyone was walking around with all different kinds of umbrellas, in the small streets there was the occasional bump and hair drag. I loved the small stores, they sell beautiful masks there that made me dream of a masked ball. And the food, my god the food 😩91: where do you plan on traveling this year?Nowhere unfortunately hahaha but it's okay, have many more years to come so I can wait 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?When I was little I didn't want aaaaaany cheese on my pasta and at this point in my life I prefer to drown my pasta in it. Just the way it melts ugh fuck it's perfect 🍝🧀93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?Loose hair, sometimes a ponytail or a bun 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?My mom, the 17th of December 😍🎉🎈95: what are your plans for this weekend?Studying my ass off for the upcoming exams that I'm extremely anxious about but oh well, can't escape it.... Unfortunately 🙄96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?The last update I procrastinated for nearly 3 months.... So you tell me HAHAHAHA I know it takes hours and usually when I'm on my laptop, I really need it right then and there so it sucks and then I forget. The update took 4 hours so, you get it 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?Myer Briggs type: INFPZodiac sign: Aquarius Hogwarts house: I like to believe I'm Gryffindor 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?I can't remember the last time I went hiking, I think it's been almost 2 years, yes something like that. When I went to Italy in 201699: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.- Tell me you love me by Demi Lovato- I'll be good by Jaymes Young - Love the way you lie by Rihanna & Eminem- OK by Robin Schulz & James Blunt- Praying by Kesha- High hopes by Kodaline.... I love you 💙
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