#i am preparing myself for her to need a few days to adjust

[mysteria157]

Moment Two: Your Daughter's First Pair

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Black Fem Reader

CW: fluff, profanity (not really), sexual suggestion, slight angst (very minimal).

Word Count: ~3.4k

Summary: Nanami joins you and your daughter for a family tradition, but he may not be as strong as he thinks.

Set in the It Had To Be You universe but you don't need a lot of backstory to follow along.

Notes: This was a random thought that I had based on something that has always been a thing in my family that I wanted to write out. There is nothing significant about this, I have not written Nanami in a LONG time, so I'm trying to warm myself up again. I am so rusty but I'm using fleeting moments of inspiration and taking advantage of it.

Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome! Happy reading!

Divider: @saradika | Header: myself

| Twitter | Ao3 | Masterlist | Moment One | Moment Three...Eventually

©mysteria157, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, modify, or translate (without permission) my work to other accounts and platforms.

MINORS DNI

“You don’t need to hold her so tight.”

“I’m protecting her.”

“And what am I, a goat?”

He raises a brow at your jest, autumn wheat and elegant but nonetheless annoyed as he glares at you. He doesn’t mean it, you know that—it’s all nerves.

“Ken, we don’t have to do this you know? If you’re against the idea, we can wait a few more years.”

“I’m not against it,” he reassures you, adjusting your daughter in his arms. Ulani babbles up at him, her chubby hands digging into a sharply cut cheekbone. He carries on without complaint, already used to her behavior. “This is a tradition, and I understand it but…”

You turn a key chain in one hand, your thumb smoothing along the glittery face of a dog—or is it a cat? The rack is filled with key chains of different colors, animals and objects, bringing back memories of middle school when you would drag your best friend Omelia into this same store in Sendai before it closed down. Despite the many years that have passed, the store chain still has its subtle hues of purples and pinks, earrings punched through purple cardboard paper, pens with wonky erasers, and headbands of different designs.

“But what?” you try to finish for him, smiling up at his nervous form as he lets Ulani talk to him in her own baby language.

Kento pulls in a deep breath as if to steel his nerves and prepare for the inevitable. He’s praying to whoever will listen, trying to use every coping mechanism in the book. He’s wearing jeans that hug his fit thighs and a dark blue short sleeve that shows too much bicep for your liking (you should give him a dress code). There are only so many single and married women and men that you can glare at in a day, and the redhead over by the register is pushing it.

“Will it hurt her?” your boyfriend’s low timber pulls you back, filled with apprehension, and he keeps mahogany eyes on his daughter to avoid showing you just how scared he is. You rub his back to soothe him, tracing the bands of muscle that are tense behind the soft fabric.

“I-I’m worried.”

“And you shouldn’t be. It’s a simple thing, lasts two seconds. Just like when she got her first shots.”

That’s not enough for him, because now Kento furrows his eyebrows in frustration, bouncing his daughter in his arms to entertain her and also soothe himself. “There are a lot of things to consider. The risk of infection. Rejection. What if she hates them? What if they get caught on her clothes? Or her curls? Or—”

“Are we ready?” one of the employee’s sing songs from behind you both, walking towards the singular chair perched against the glass wall of the store.

“I—” Kento croaks, clearing his throat and swallowing loudly. He looks down at you. “Are we?”

In the time you’ve known him, you’ve only seen Kento visibly nervous a handful of times. That stoic demeanor is a smooth, stone-like shell to everyone else besides family and close friends, but you know the weak spots and have glimpsed into the fragmented sections only visible to your eyes. Right now, he’s nervous and fearful beyond belief. That all encompassing love and attention that he shows you from sunup to sundown extends to his daughter as well. If there is one person besides you, who can make Nanami Kento show his emotions freely and without reservation no matter the date, place, or time, it’s Ulani.

“How about you hold her?” you suggest and give him a small push towards the black chair. Two employees work at the small kiosk next to him, unwrapping sterile materials and cotton swabs. Kento’s eyes watch every movement, searching for any sign of threat that can give him the ammunition to take his daughter and never come back. You can practically hear his thoughts:

“Is that up to code?”

“How long has that been sealed?”

“What is the name of the manufacturer so that I can ensure it’s reputable?”

Your roll your own eyes, knowing how right you might be.

When you found out your pediatrician would be on her own maternity leave, you let Kento research every establishment in Tokyo until he found one in Shibuya. Reputable, good reviews, and well-practiced in this procedure.

Of course, you’re nervous too. She’s your daughter, a combination of you and Kento, conceived from a very drunken night of disdain but grown out of eventual love and adoration. The thought of her crying in pain makes that maternal part of you flare with anger and the consuming need to protect her forever. But you’ve prepared for this for awhile.

Kento? Not so much.

“Is that clean?” your boyfriend asks one of the employees, clutching his daughter a little tighter. It’s a little rude, but the employee smiles at him in a way that conveys understanding of his trepidation. This isn’t their first rodeo.

“Completely sterile from the package. I promise she’s in great hands.” Deep eyes free of steampunk-esque glasses flicker up at her in doubt, but he simply sniffs and looks back to his daughter instead to withhold a scathing remark. “How about one of us on each side, and we do it at once?” she suggests, addressing him directly. It helps, as he gives her a somber but curt nod.

He situates Ulani in his arms so she’s sitting fully on his lap, his large hands holding her up with a slight tremble. The sight is enough to remind you again that this is new territory for him. What has always been a normal tradition for you and the other females in your life, is a foreign concept for him.

Ear piercings are a milestone in a young girl’s life. You got yours as a baby, and so did your mother. Omelia got hers as a baby, as did all her female cousins, as did her mother and the mother before her. If you interacted with your mother’s side of the family, then maybe you would know if your cousins also did the same.

But that’s another thought for another time, and you refuse to let painful memories tarnish what should be a memory you are crafting on your own, right now.

You step closer and run your hands through thick blond locks that are free of gel. You brush the strands from his forehead, letting the soft texture slip past your fingertips as he relaxes instantly. With his place in his chair, he’s at the perfect height to rest his head on your stomach, and he does so a second later.

One of his hands brushes light brown curls from his daughters ears. You can feel the unease radiating from him with every deep breath he takes, and you scratch that spot at his nape that makes him shudder, hoping it will help.

The muscles in Kento’s neck bunch together instead when one of the employee’s leans toward Ulani to make marks in deep purple, and even your own stomach turns in response at what’s to come. 

“Okay, we will do this on three. How’s that sound honey?” one of the employees coos at your daughter. Ulani, who is a carbon copy of her father, stares up at her, observant and sinking into her daddy before offering a gummy smile. “She’s so pretty.”

“She’s beautiful,” Kento corrects, slightly rough but still appreciative of the compliment. “Aren’t you, my dove?”

He tickles her side and offers a rare chuckle as she squeals up at him, wiggling in her father’s embrace. The sight makes your heart do flips because this is your world, day in and day out. Just you, Kento, and the person you’ve created together.

You step around to squat in front of him so you’re eye level with your daughter, a hand coming up to wiggle the toes covered in a tan sock. Her eyes catch you immediately, and she holds your gaze long enough for the two employees to position themselves on each side of her. 

Kento holds his breath.

“Alright, here we go. One. Two. Three.”

They both move in sync, pressing down on the plastic gun so the studs slide through the soft lobe of Ulani’s lower ears. Kento’s eyebrows furl together immediately. Ulani’s eyes widen for a second before her face contorts, her mouth opening in a silent cry. Your heart hammers and your chest tightens in an sudden flood of sadness and desperation that crashes against you like a tumultuous wave when Ulani takes one heaving breath in….

And screams.

His reaction is quick. Kento bounces one leg at a tempo that alarms you, his handsome face flying through different stages of grief, anger, and pain as he watches the employees adjust the diamond earrings to ensure they heal without complication. His mouth opens and closes, jaw grinding to keep his rudeness in check, because you know what he wants to say.

He was the same way when she got her shots; all glares and sharp stares at everyone else because they were the source of her discomfort. But like that time before, you are the cooling balm for his hot anger as you wiggle your daughters toes and murmur soothing words at her, to show him that she’s going to be just fine.

“It’s okay, baby,” you smile softly and it’s enough to capture her attention even though she’s squealing and crying from the sharp but quick pain in her ears. But all too quickly, you’re not enough for her, because the daughter that you carried for almost ten months turns away and reaches for her father, crying loudly in his arms. It’s a sting that you prepared for, but nonetheless hurts with a severity that takes a few seconds for you to recover from.

By the time you pay one of the employees and exit the store, Ulani has already calmed down. Kento digs into the diaper bag on his shoulder and pulls out a cotton cloth, wiping her nose as she sniffles and whines into his shoulder.

“I know honey, I know,” he coos to her, wiping the tears from her light brown skin and swaying back and forth. “But you were so strong, weren’t you? Hmm? A lot stronger than me.”

He pulls her away from his neck, smiling softly at her, and that one smile makes your chest bloom with satisfaction. It’s times like these that remind you how your life has surprisingly fallen into place. Who would have thought that the man who used to drive you insane would be the only one fit for you? 

That small twinge of hurt you felt minutes ago when Ulani turned away from you resurfaces, but reassurance cools it’s prickly edges. Even though this is a moment you may have been more connected with, it’s Kento who feels the painful side of it a lot more.

So you give him his own moment. You watch quietly as he kisses her chubby cheeks repeatedly, smiling into her skin at the giggles that leave her. You fall into the hum of the world around you as you watch him tuck away the cotton cloth and smooth the curls away from Ulani’s ears, finally admiring the diamonds that twinkle on each side. The lobes will be red for a few days, but for Ulani, she will never think of them again until she’s old enough to pay attention. Until she’s old enough to change them out to match the outfits she decides to wear, different colors and gemstones, and multiples if she ever has a streak of expression in her teenage years. Like you did.

Kento finally looks down at you, chestnut browns sparkling as he takes you in from head to toe. The harsh Shibuya sun beats down on bustling city square, but the rays are soft when they touch him. Tan skin is illuminated gold on his cheekbones, his hair luminous in the sun. You reach up to run a hand through his locks for the second time this afternoon, your heart still not used to the incessant hammering that arises when he leans into your touch.

You lift an accusatory eyebrow at him and hold back a chuckle when you speak. “Our daughter was the soldier this afternoon, and yet I’m coddling you?”

“Keep coddling,” he demands, voice tinged with mirth as he turns to place a kiss inside of your palm and then leans back into your stroking. “Today was very painful for me, have you no shame?” 

You snort and dig your nails into his scalp in retaliation, enjoying the groan that rumbles in the air from your ministrations. “Don’t blame this one moment on your entire day. You had a great run, remember?”

“My slowest three mile run yet.” Quick on the draw, and you already know where this is going. Kento rarely complains, but when he does, it is about the most trivial things as a means to get and keep your attention.

“You made me pancakes this morning.”

“Not my best work. Too much cinnamon in the batter.”

“We made out two hours ago?”

“Ulani woke from her nap and interrupted what would have been a very enjoyable afternoon.” That complaint leaves his mouth in a grumble, and you purse your lips to hold off the laughter that sits in the back of your throat. He’s truly pouting, and god do you love him.

“And now seeing your daughter cry from her first ear piercing was icing on the cake of a bad day, I imagine?”

“Exactly.”

You finally giggle and playfully pull a strand of his hair. He narrows his eyes at you, mischievous yet still carrying that ingrained indifference that you know and love. Ulani shrieks in his arms, finally past her blip of crying and now ready for her parent’s attention. You take in her drool of a smile, slightly red ears, and brown onesie-dress, and the possibilities flood your mind. It’s…very overwhelming when the thoughts hit you: how she will grow into herself, develop her personality, her wants and desires, her hobbies and her dreams. 

“Pay attention to me,” he interrupts your thoughts, and you can’t help the bark of laughter that you give him in response. Ulani mimics you, completely oblivious.

“You’re such a baby, and we have a baby,” you tease, snorting at his level expression and dusty cheeks, slightly shy but absorbing your presence. “You and Ulani have had it rough today. So how about a reward?” You look to your daughter when you ask, knowing damn well she has no idea what you’re saying but you want to include her anyway.

“How about frozen yogurt?” I.e., the unsweetened applesauce in the diaper bag for Ulani and matcha-flavored frozen yogurt for Kento from a favorite vendor a few blocks away. It’s an obsession of his that’s been appearing in the freezer with numbing regularity.

Kento remains unphased by your suggestion, though his lips twitch with the desire to smirk down at you.

“Seeing our daughter in pain was more heartbreaking than I thought. Food may not help, I’m afraid.”

Kento is milking his “pain” at this point, and you’re far too in love with him not to entertain the idea you know is floating in his head. You love this about him, just how playful he is when it comes to you.

“You’re a tough nut to crack.” You tap your chin as if you’re thinking hard, humming in contemplation. “How about…” you trail off, a hand sliding up a muscular bicep before massaging his nape again, relishing in the shudder he gives in response, his eyes twitching to hold back the urge to roll into his head in satisfaction. “Since you’ve suffered so much today…we can go home…and I’ll do that thing you like.”

You have the privilege and skill of being able to read Nanami Kento like a book. You don’t miss the glee that dances across his features—the uptick of one side of his mouth, the slow brow lift, the darkening of his irises. He knows exactly what that thing is. You’re pretty good at it—a master at it—and he made you promise that the day he ever turns that thing down, is the day you can leave him.

His cheeks explode in blush, jaw ticking before he clears his throat and smooths a sweaty hand down the dark blue of his shirt.

“I see,” he ponders, looking up to the sky as if in deep thought, and you know if you roll your eyes again, they’ll get stuck. “Well.” He situates Ulani in his arms and presses a few kisses to her cheek again to pull those giggles from her that you both love. “Who am I to deny your mother?” he suggests to his daughter. “Not a moment to waste, Ulani.”

“You’ve got to be kidding—”

“Quickly, before you change your mind.” He slides a hand to the small of your back as a means to hurry you along, pressing softly and turning you in the direction of the car.

You try to bat his hands away from you, giggles growing in volume as he dodges all your attempts to get rid of him. “I’m not going to change my mind, Ken—”

“Quickly.”

He takes your hand and you let him pull you, beaming at his back as he increases his pace. Ulani is happy as can be in her father’s arms and babbling as he talks softly to her.

“A snack before nap time sounds good, doesn’t it? What kind of applesauce would you like today?” She gurgles. “Cinnamon again? Hmmm, we should always try new things, Dove. What about the strawberry ones I bought you yesterday?” A squeal. “Strawberry it is. I think…”

The rest of their conversation fades into the background as you walk with them, warmth coursing through your veins with each step. It’s a warmth that catches you off guard, but has been ever present since Ulani’s birth. And you love every bit of how it feels. How it flows through you with every breath you take. How it only grows every minute, every hour, every day that you create a life with them.

After Ulani is buckled in her car seat and you slide your seat belt into its latch, Kento leans across the armrest, a warm hand sliding against your cheek in a gentle caress before he slants his lips against yours. It’s a surprise, but the shock dies as quickly as it forms as you melt into his touch—full lips that know your own and soft blonde locks brushing your face.

That affection that he pulls from you every day is given back in this moment—freely and without restraint—in the parking lot of Claire’s in Shibuya, where your daughter got her ears pierced for the first time.

When he pulls away and whispers his love for you against your lips, you repeat it back to him without thinking. It’s a motion that you both carry out whenever you can. 

“No more piercings. My heart will probably give out.”

“Do you feel better?” you ask in a tone that is filled with the teasing nature that sticks to you like a second skin.

He loves it, but doesn’t take the bait, and instead kisses your lips again, each cheek, and the tip of your nose. “I will soon.” The innuendo is so obvious you can taste it. He’s been with you too long to be a blushing and awkward man. “Once Ulani is asleep.” You push him away with a giggling huff and savor the deep chuckle that falls from his lips, permeating the air of the car.

As Kento drives through the crowded streets towards your shared home in Nakameguro, the hand not on the steering wheel envelops yours, a thumb stroking the skin of your palm. You look out the window and observe the colors and cars that zoom by, and the sound of a deep breath behind you makes you look back. And when you do, your heart gives a painful but welcoming lurch as you gaze at her. Your daughter already asleep, her head dipping to the side—curly locks askew and sticking to the drool on her face, and her new diamond earrings shining back at you.

Thanks for reading!

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 58

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 5k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Tuesday, February 23rd; 9:00 AM - Manchester

I finish getting ready, adjusting the suit Lucy kindly lent me as I look at myself in the mirror. The beautiful days in the snow feel like a distant memory since our return to the city. We’re back to our responsibilities after a relaxing weekend. I smile when I see Lucy approaching me in the reflection, wrapping her hands around my waist.

- "This outfit looks amazing on you."

I blush at her open compliment. I was just about to ask her how I looked, but I forgot that Lucy no longer hesitates to say what she used to keep to herself. It’s a pleasant change, considering she used to only play the serious, emotionless role.

- "Thank you... But it’s your outfit, remember?"

Not having anything suitable in my suitcase for a professional meeting, Lucy had to lend me some clothes. The only things I’m wearing that are mine are my underwear and black pants. Lucy let me borrow her little black boots, a white shirt, and her suit jacket. Fortunately, we’re the same size. I love borrowing her clothes, and the best part is, she doesn’t mind. In fact, I get the impression that she likes it.

- "Well, if it means seeing you look this stunning every time, I’ll keep lending you my clothes."

I smile shyly before leaning back slightly to find her lips. It’s almost time to leave, and it’s making me increasingly anxious. Waking up wasn’t difficult, surprisingly. I’ve been sleeping like a baby since I’ve been back in Lucy’s arms. I can’t say the same for breakfast, though. I could barely eat anything after my shower. Since we spent the last couple of days lazing around, I had plenty of time to think and prepare for my interview. I worked on it so much that Lucy had to force me to take a break, saying I was overdoing it. The problem is, I have no idea who I’m dealing with or what the outcome will be. For all I know, it could be nothing. I’m afraid of being disappointed. Lucy is very optimistic about it. She seems to expect a lot, which only adds to the pressure. I’m terrified of messing it all up with my usual clumsiness. She tried to reassure me, but it didn’t help much. She then added that I should just be myself and everything would go well. However, I rarely manage to be myself in situations like this. Panic always takes over. I wanted to know what the gallery director looks like, but Lucy told me she’s only spoken to him on the phone, though he sounded very friendly. She thinks he’s young. The fact that she simply believes in me makes my stomach turn. When I noticed she was getting frustrated with my behavior because it was affecting her, I thought back to the amazing week we just had. It was so enlightening and at the same time very soothing. I felt like I found myself again, and for the first time in a long time, I opened up. Not just to Lucy in our relationship, but also to her friends and mine. I can’t even remember the last time I so easily let people into my private circle. It was really a good idea. It even improved Lucy’s relationship with Mapi and Alexia. Thinking about all that gave me the courage I needed for what’s coming in a few hours. I’ve made progress, and there’s reason to believe in myself.

- "Are you ready?"

- "Panicked," I murmured.

- "Everything will be fine," she replies, kissing my cheek. "I’ll be waiting for you."

- "You’re going to see the girls in town, then?" I asked.

She told me she’d be meeting up with Ingrid and Mapi after exchanging messages with Ingrid yesterday. I would have loved to join them, but duty calls elsewhere.

- "Yeah, but don’t worry. Just send me a message when you’re done, and I’ll be there. And, if something positive comes out of this interview, I’ll let you celebrate tonight with no limits."

- "That’s a very dangerous comment, Miss Bronze."

- "And I’ll take responsibility for it," she smiles playfully.

- "I’ll make sure to remind you of that."

- "You’ve proven that you can be responsible, so I can make an effort too."

I smile, thinking back to Saturday night. The girls were really feeling it the next day. We haven’t seen each other since, but we’ve been texting a lot. I’m glad I stayed sober. I’ve earned some trust points with Lucy. It’s crazy how we’re all swimming in an ocean of happiness. I’m very happy, just like my best friend who’s staying with Ingrid, and Alexia with Jenni. I hope things continue this way for a long time. By the way, we’re all meeting at The United tonight. I love that place, so I was immediately up for going. I hope I’ll get a chance to let loose, especially since Lucy is allowing it. In any case, I have no choice but to ace this interview. I’m fully aware that I’m playing for an important career. I take a deep breath as I look at myself one last time.

- "Let’s go. I’ll be late otherwise."

- "You’re perfect, no matter what he says. Don’t forget that."

I return her smile timidly, nodding. I don’t quite believe her words, but they give me courage. She kisses the back of my head one last time before stepping back. I know exactly what that means. It’s really time to go. Without a word, we both leave the bedroom and head to the living room. I feel at home with the ease I feel in this environment. Lucy makes me feel at home, and that’s all I needed. We put on our jackets and shoes from the wardrobe by the front door, then finally step outside. The accumulated stress doesn’t help me stay calm. I need to touch or occupy myself with anything I can as we drive. Noticing this, Lucy eventually places her hand on my thigh.

- "Hey, it’s just an interview, OK?"

- "You don’t understand. This is the chance of a lifetime."

- "If it doesn’t work out, we’ll look elsewhere," she says with determination.

I smile timidly, trying to convince myself of the best outcome. Lucy has always been more optimistic than me. That’s partly why I love her. She’s always been my light in the darkness. The ride feels endless in the silence I’ve caused. Her hand never stops caressing my thigh, though. She’s forced to remove it when we arrive so she can park. I’m relieved to see we’re much earlier than I feared. It must have taken us barely ten minutes. I expected the gallery to be in the heart of downtown and that it would take us longer to get there. I frown, looking around. This neighborhood doesn’t seem like it could host a gallery. It’s just an ordinary street with lots of houses. I glance at Lucy, who’s smiling.

- "Was this a joke?"

I ask hesitantly, dreading the answer. Disappointment already starts to grow within me, along with a hint of annoyance as her grin widens.

- "I’d never play such a bad joke on you."

- "Then where are we?"

- "At an annex of the gallery. This is the address I received for the interview," she says, pointing ahead.

I look straight ahead and see a renovated warehouse with a garage door as an entrance. I bite my lip, not sure what to think. It’s certainly an unusual place. I’m an artist at heart, so I love unusual things, but it’s unsettling for a major gallery to work in a place like this. My confidence only continues to fade. Noticing this, Lucy makes me look at her by grabbing my face between her hands.

- "Take a deep breath, baby."

I do as she asks, inhaling deeply while closing my eyes. It’s amazing the trust I have in her. She believes in me, and that’s all that matters. I smile slightly, feeling her lips against mine. I can’t afford to disappoint her after everything she’s done for me. It’s the least I can do for her. When I open my eyes, she greets me with her usual smile.

- Will you come pick me up?

- Of course, I’ve already told you. Just send me a text, and I’ll be there in a minute, she says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I’ll never be far away.

I nod, returning her smile softly. I can do this. For her. I give her one last kiss before unbuckling my seatbelt and opening the door.

- See you later.

- See you later, my love.

I close the door on those final words. That nickname still makes my stomach flutter. I’m not bold enough to call her that yet. I’ve done it over text, but that’s different. I hope it will come naturally in time. Although she doesn’t complain about my hesitancy, I know that it could become an issue in the long run if I don’t change. I take a deep breath and check the time as I stand in front of the garage door. I’m early, but punctuality is always a good thing at work, right? I force myself not to look back where Lucy is still sitting in the car. Even though this place scares me, I need to prove I can handle things on my own. With a surge of courage, I knock on the metal door, which echoes loudly in the deserted street. Shortly after, a door I hadn’t noticed next to the garage opens. I blush at my mistake as a man with graying hair appears. He doesn’t seem to notice, smiling warmly at me. Despite his gray hair, he looks like he’s in his forties. He has a rather neat appearance, dressed in a suit without a tie or bow tie, and wearing loafers. His hair is shorter on the sides and barely styled on top, as if he just ran his hand through it with some gel. That’s probably what happened.

- Good morning, he says, cutting through my daze with his deep voice. You must be Ona Batlle?

- P-pardon... Good morning... That’s me.

I awkwardly shake his extended hand. He chuckles softly and opens the door wider, inviting me inside. Before stepping in, I glance back one last time at Lucy’s car. Unfortunately, it’s too far away to see her inside, though I’m sure she hasn’t missed a moment of this first encounter. Reluctantly, I turn back and step into this unfamiliar place. I feel uneasy, even more so with a stranger.

- Don’t be nervous, he says, closing the door behind us. My name is Bennett Fields. May I speak informally with you?

I stop myself from frowning. He started talking informally right from the beginning, so it’s odd that he’s asking now. It’s not like I would refuse.

- Of course, I say without thinking.

I glance around. From here, the place looks much less intimidating than it did outside. It’s warmer and much brighter than I expected. I understand why when I see a large glass window at the back of the room that opens onto a courtyard. The room isn’t very deep, but I notice an opening on the right. As I imagined, this isn’t a gallery but a studio. A studio well-stocked with supplies. It’s a paradise for an enthusiast like me.

- Glad to see you like the place.

I smile awkwardly and focus my attention back on him. The idea of being alone with a man I don’t know makes me nervous.

- I’ve never seen so many supplies in one place, I admit with admiration.

- I appreciate the spark of passion in your eyes. I must confess, this is the first time I’ve welcomed someone so young into my space, he says as he walks deeper into the room.

I quickly follow, trying to keep from daydreaming any further. I tend to get lost in thought when it comes to art, making it difficult to stay focused. We take the opening at the back. It leads to a hallway where the glass windows continue on our left. On the other side, there are also windows set in a black steel frame. It gives the place a true industrial feel, which I love.

- So why did you agree to meet with me?

The words slip out before I can stop them. Even though he turns to smile at me again, I feel foolish.

- Initially, I was very impressed with the talent displayed in your portfolio. When I tried to contact you directly, I was surprised to learn that I had to go through someone else first.

I bite my lip, knowing full well he’s talking about Lucy. He stops in front of another glass panel on our right. The doors have been carelessly left open. I see a much larger space than the entrance. This is where the artists work. Numerous easels with canvases on them stand in every corner of the room. In the middle, there’s a huge table with supplies already laid out. I can tell people have been here by the still-wet paint on one of the canvases. This discovery reassures me slightly. At least I’m not alone with him. The glass windows bring in a lot of light. Anyone who appreciates art knows that daylight is the best source.

- I learned that this person shared your portfolio without your knowledge, he continues as we walk down the hallway. We had a long conversation about you and the reasons that prompted her to do so, he says, finally stopping in front of a door.

When he opens it, I see it’s an office. He enters first, so I follow. With a wave of his hand, he invites me to sit in a chair in front of his desk, which I do without hesitation. I’m relieved not to have brought my bag or anything else cumbersome. He sits across from me, resting his chin on his hands, which he’s clasped together, and looks straight into my eyes.

- This person spoke very highly of you. She seems to care a great deal about you and believes in your abilities. She made me even more curious about you. I was slightly hesitant because of your school’s reputation, but she assured me that everyone has different struggles, and that unlike others, you’re a very decent person.

He pauses to take a deep breath.

- In short, if I invited you here, it’s because I wanted to meet you in person and form my own opinion. While I trust her words, I like to know who I’m dealing with.

I swallow hard and nod. I should have expected this. I did expect everything he just said. I even told Lucy that it was strange for him to welcome someone from our school, but she didn’t want to believe me. It seems she managed to sell me well. He keeps smiling at me. So far, I can’t quite figure him out. He’s warmer than I anticipated. I pictured him much older, more wrinkled, and less well-groomed.

- So, Ona Batlle... I’m not expecting you to talk about your life or professional background. I already know you graduated from high school and that you’ve been at Camp Wiegman since this year.

- Then what do you want me to talk about?

- The answer seems rather obvious... If I brought you here, it’s to talk about art. So, how did you develop your talents?

I shrug, not really knowing how to answer that question. There’s not much to say, really.

"I've always enjoyed drawing. I've been doing it constantly since childhood. I suppose it's an activity that has always helped clear my mind."

The man in front of me leans back in his chair, scratching the small beard growing on his chin. He seems to be absorbing my words with interest.

"So, if I understand correctly, you've never taken any classes or had an art teacher?"

I shake my head. My father wanted to enroll me in classes when he noticed that it was all I did, but my mother found it impossible. No one could take me when my father wasn't around, which was half the year. There were my grandparents, but they were still working at the time. They had a small shop they kept until they managed to sell it, since my father wasn't going to take it over given his job.

"Interesting," he murmurs. "Where do you find your inspiration, then?"

I tense up at this question, though I was expecting it. Every artist draws inspiration from somewhere. Mine was dark for many years. However, I'm not sure if that's still the case since Lucy came into my life. Based on my sketchbooks, it seems like she's managed to chase away all the negative thoughts from my mind. He hasn't even had the chance to see my worst works.

"My family, my friends," I reply vaguely. "Most of the time, I just recreate what I see around me."

"The sketchbook I saw had landscapes. Did they mean something to you?"

"Yes... I was in conflict with the person I saw them with. I needed to release my frustration and their absence."

He gives a small, mischievous smile that quickly disappears as he regains his seriousness.

"Have you ever tried doing anything other than reproductions?"

"No... Well, very rarely. I've tried, but I always felt like it didn’t look right. However, I do draw portraits sometimes, and though I haven't done much, I've always wanted to learn abstract and contemporary art."

He nods without giving away what he's thinking. As I say this, I feel like I'm admitting I can't do much. Nowadays, reproductions don't impress people anymore. Yet that's what I do. I'm just an amateur, and that’s exactly what makes me doubt my abilities.

"Good," he smiles. "All of this is very interesting. Your mentor wasn’t wrong about you."

I bite my tongue at the term he uses for Lucy. I would have preferred that he didn't know that kind of thing. Especially since she's my girlfriend now.

"I have one last question for you. I promised your mentor I wouldn't push you too hard, so I'll understand if you don't want to answer."

I nod, frowning slightly. Lucy must have talked to him at length for him to know so much about me.

"I know you have a painful past, according to your mentor. I'd like to know if it's still your source of inspiration?"

"No," I answer without hesitation. "I had dark paintings for a long time, but I recently met someone who helped me move out of that phase. It's when I think of that person that I now draw my inspiration."

A new smile appears on his face. It feels like he knows exactly who I'm talking about. I hope I'm wrong. To my surprise, he doesn't say anything else and gets up from his chair.

"What do you think about giving me a little demonstration? I'm intrigued by what you can actually do, and I'd like to see for myself how you handle a brush."

"Really?" I ask, surprised.

"Of course. I'd like to see how you work in your element. Then, if the results are satisfying, we can talk about what's next. What do you think?"

I nod enthusiastically. Talking about what’s next. Oh my God, I can’t believe it! Although everything isn’t settled yet, he's giving me hope that it might happen. I hope I can make a good impression with my technique now. Lucy was right about one thing when she tried to reassure me—I’m in my element here. I have nothing to be afraid of. If nothing works out here, then I'll be motivated to try elsewhere. Lucy was right; here, I’m in my element. I shouldn’t be afraid to be in my element, or else I’ll never feel comfortable anywhere.

"Alright," he smiles. "Let's get to it. I'm eager to see what you can do."

I expected the interview to be much longer and more personal. Yet, he stayed very focused on questions related to art, and that motivates me to show him what I'm capable of. He also managed to make me feel comfortable around him. Without any hesitation, I follow him to the workshop we passed earlier. As we exit, I notice he didn't even close the door behind him. Who doesn’t close the door during an interview? A small smile spreads across my lips at the thought that Lucy might have ordered him to do such a thing, though I could be wrong. As I focus on the room from earlier, I notice it’s no longer empty. A woman in her thirties has appeared. She’s continuing the painting I noticed when I first arrived. I greet her timidly as I continue to follow Mr. Fields. He stops in front of an easel at the back of the room, surrounded by various materials. It looks like he planned all this. I don't even know where to look. Seeing this, he smiles again.

"Go ahead, have fun, and above all, don’t hold back your imagination. That’s where your inspiration comes from, after all."

For the first time since I got here, I genuinely smile. The thought of having all this to myself, even for just one painting, excites me like a three-year-old child who just got a present. Without hesitation, I grab a brush to start my painting, with my only inspiration being the emerald eyes of my girlfriend.

Tuesday, February 23; 2:15 PM - Manchester

With a heavy heart full of hope, we're back at the warehouse. I think the interview went well. Mr. Fields insisted that I eat with him and a few of the artists who were there today. I couldn't really refuse, so I accepted after informing Lucy. I loved being with them. They made me feel comfortable, and they talked a lot about how they ended up here. Now that we’re back, I realize it’s the end of the meeting when Mr. Fields shakes my hand.

"Thank you for your warm welcome."

"It was my pleasure. I'll contact you once I've made my decision. In the meantime, I wish you good luck with your final exams, and maybe I'll see you soon."

I watch him return to the warehouse before breaking into a big smile. I hope this works out! I was about to send a message to Lucy so she could come pick me up, but I see that she’s already there when I turn toward the spot where she was this morning. I quickly cross the street and get into the car. I don’t give her time to speak before I kiss her without restraint. None of this would have been possible without her. Lucy giggles against my lips, gently pushing me back.

"Hey," she says with a hint of amusement. "I take it everything went well?"

"It was amazing! I think I have a chance. I mean, he was really cool with me. We talked a bit, and then he let me draw. A lot, actually! He even helped me improve on some things. Obviously, I still have a lot to learn, but I think he’s really interested in my profile, and—"

- "Wow, breathe, Ona," she laughs.

I stop to actually catch my breath. Without warning, I cradle her face and kiss her again. I’m feeling so emotional right now, and it makes me want to be as close to her as possible. She gently places her hands on my wrists to calm me down again. I pull away, blushing with embarrassment.

- "Just thank you. Thank you for everything. This is all thanks to you."

- "I didn't do much. You should thank yourself for your obvious talent."

- "I'm not thanking you for that. Well, yes, of course, but mostly I’m thanking you for all the support you’ve given me. Because of you, I might finally have the future I’ve always wanted. I needed someone who believed in me more than I believed in myself, so thank you."

Lucy's expression softens at my words. She smiles tenderly and kisses my cheek.

- "The pleasure is all mine, my love. And now, how about you tell me what he said, hmm?"

It seems her curiosity is suddenly piqued. So, I start recounting everything from the beginning as she starts driving. I begin with the interview, which felt too short in my opinion. Then, I tell her about when I started painting. For the first time in my life, I tried painting something abstract. Mr. Fields was rather amused, knowing that I had never done it before, but he appreciated my boldness in trying to impress him. However, he eventually stopped me, preferring that I paint something I was more comfortable with. He then suggested that one of his employees pose for me. I had no trouble doing that, and that’s when he started giving me pointers on some of my techniques. After that, I couldn’t stop. I kept painting, over and over, in my element.

- "You must have really enjoyed the interview if you agreed to have lunch with them."

I blush and nod. Coming here, I never imagined I would stay so long or feel so comfortable in the end. If I wasn’t sure before, I now know that I want to make art my career.

- "Yeah, it was really cool."

- "What did he say about what happens next?"

- "He was surprised by what I can do without taking a single class. Before we left for the restaurant, he told me that if he takes me under his wing, I’ll have to take classes to improve and expand my knowledge. I hope my skills and motivation will convince him to keep me."

- "I have no doubt about that, baby. I’m sure you managed to impress him."

I smile as she places her hand on my knee. I love that she does that every time we’re driving somewhere. It makes me feel like I belong to her.

- "Now you just have to keep your promise for tonight," I tease.

A genuine laugh escapes her lips.

- "I suppose so, yes. I never doubted that everything would go well, you know."

- "Then why did you say that?"

- "Because you’ve become much more reasonable than you were a few months ago. The fact that you were drinking didn’t bother me. It was the fact that you were overdoing it and had no limits."

I bite my lip, fully understanding what she means. I’m not that reckless girl anymore, and now she trusts me. Even if I drink to the point of not remembering, she won’t hold it against me like she used to. Especially now that she’ll always be by my side. I’ve realized why she refused to let me go to parties for so long. She wanted me to learn the lesson, not punish me forever.

- "And by the way... How are the girls doing?"

Her deep groan makes it clear that she must have had a terrible morning.

- "Full of energy, if you ask me. Instead of helping with my stress, they spent their time making fun of me."

- "You should have expected that," I giggle. "Who would have thought they’d end up together," I say thoughtfully. "I still can’t quite wrap my head around it."

- "I’m happy they did," she admits to me. "They’re perfect for each other. And at least we know they’re both doing well."

- "You never told me much about Ingrid. I mean, I knew you were close, but I never knew how."

- "She was a great support to me when Keira died. She started off as just my manager, then became an instructor, but she quickly became a great friend. She helped me get out and introduced me to her friends who became mine... And Jenni became hers."

- "You’re a solid group."

- "We are," she smiles softly. "We each have our own stories."

- "Does Ingrid have one?"

- "You could say that. She was estranged from her parents, so she left home early to strike out on her own."

- "Is that why you think they’re made for each other?"

- "In a way... You see, they didn’t have anyone else besides their friends... So yes, I think they’re meant to be together, if only for that reason. They’ll have the chance to form a new family if things last between them."

I nod in agreement. She’s right. The one thing Mapi was missing was a family. Of course, she always said I was her family, but I could tell something was missing. I could have been that for her if we had been together, but that wasn’t the case. Ingrid is her new family, and that thought warms my heart for my best friend. At least this time, I really like her new girlfriend. I take a deep breath, thinking about a second thing Lucy mentioned. She rarely talks about Keira, so I gently prompt her to continue.

- "So Keira brought you closer... Her death affected your work too, didn’t it?"

- "A lot, yes," she replies without hesitation. "Keira loved that I took this job when I started. She always said I would save many people like her. I was supposed to start right after her death, so my work became very personal. I became cold but deeply involved in every case I had to handle."

- "That’s how you earned your nickname, Commander," I murmur. "Is that why you don’t like it when I call you that?"

Her hand tightens on my thigh for a moment, but she nods.

- "Yeah... I’m sorry, baby."

- "Don’t apologize. I’m glad you’re talking to me about it. Was I the only one with a drug problem?"

- "No, but you were the only one I had to personally take care of. Honestly, your addiction surprised me. Wiegman had promised not to give me such cases, especially after Keira. So, I expected many things from you, but not that."

- "Why did he do it then...?"

- "I’m still asking myself that question today. He knew your mother. He wanted to resolve your case in a year, and I think deep down, he knew I was the only one who would understand you."

- "And he wasn’t wrong," I affirm.

- "He wasn’t wrong," she confirms. "I defended you on things he didn’t expect. That’s why he trusts me so much with you. It’s a good compromise given our relationship."

We’ve arrived back at her building. This conversation was enlightening and more unsettling than I expected. I turn to her when we’re parked.

- "Lucy," I start hesitantly.

- "Don’t say anything."

- "You don’t even know what I was going to say."

- "Yes, I do," she says with amusement. "And now is not the time to tell me you love me."

My open mouth closes immediately. How did she know? The words have been on the tip of my tongue for some time now, but I haven’t been able to say them yet.

- "Your eyes tell me enough, Ona, but please, say it when you’re really ready. You’re too emotional right now, and I don’t want you to say it impulsively."

I hate it when she’s right. I feel so foolish that I blush stupidly. She unbuckles her seatbelt while looking me straight in the eyes.

- "Well, how about we bake some cookies before we get ready for tonight? I did some shopping, and I think Joan will be delighted to have some when she comes over tomorrow."

- "Oh yes, that’s a great idea. He loves them."

- "I have no doubt he does, if he loves them as much as you do," she giggles.

[gothic-lottie]

Chapter 16 of Making Some Sense of This is out now and a good bit of it is a flashback so I had to take the opportunity to draw Professor Fig.

“Alright Isobel, I have a list of all the school things you'll need but that can wait. We should find you some new clothes first. You'll need school uniforms, pajamas, and I imagine you'll want some casual clothes as well.” The man who had rescued me from my family the day before, Professor Fig as he'd introduced himself, went on as he led me through the bustling street.

“Professor, I don't have money for any of this.”

“Oh, don't worry about that, I'll be paying. You only have to focus on picking out what you want, though you do need at least one outfit off the rack since yours has… a hole in it…” he led me into a shop where a friendly woman greeted us. 

“Hello Eleazar, who's this? You never mentioned having a daughter.”

“This is Isobel Morgana, a new student starting at Hogwarts this year. She'll need an entire new wardrobe, do you think you could help, Alice?”

“Certainly… you don't look eleven dear, how old are you?”

“Fourteen ma'am. Almost fifteen.”

“She's starting as a fifth year. Very unusual but that's why I've been charged with getting her adjusted before the school year.”

“Very well then, let's see what we can do for you.” The woman, Alice, led me to a rack of skirts. “This is the fashionable length of skirt for girls your age. What colors do you like?”

“Do you have anything longer?”

“What? Darling, floor length skirts are for grown ladies. Enjoy being young while you can.”

“I want long skirts. Nothing short.”

“If you say so… these are our ladies skirts.”

“I like black… it feels as though it fits me.”

“A grim one, aren't you… alright then.” She took the measuring tape off her chatelaine and took a few measurements quickly before selecting a couple black skirts. “Let me find you a few blouses, one moment.” Alice wandered off to look for shirts and Professor Fig placed a hand on my shoulder. “Is something on your mind, my young friend? She's quite right, you aren't expected to dress like an adult until you turn seventeen. You are still a child.”

“I would prefer to present myself as an adult. If I am away from my mother for good, I am no child. Not anymore.”

“If that's what you want, but remember that we can buy you something more fitting of your age if you change your mind.”

“Thank you, Professor”

Alice returned then, a newfound skip in her step. “I've found just the thing.”

A few minutes later, Alice had me dressed in a soft Lilac blouse and one of the skirts I'd chosen. She'd even tied a matching ribbon around the top hat she placed on my head. “Oh, you look like such a lovely young lady.” She sang as she led me to a mirror. “You're going to be quite popular with the boys~” 

“I doubt that but this is a lovely blouse.  I should get a few more but I'll wear this one out if that's alright.”

 

Two hours later, we'd had me measured for a new corset since mine still had a hole and some blood in it, as well as having purchased school uniforms that Professor Fig assured me would change color by magic to match whatever house I was sorted into. 

As we walked down the alley, I noticed a shop just full of owls. I couldn't help but stare, thinking of how much Father Isaac would love a shop dedicated to keeping messenger owls.

“Oh, how could I forget! Thank you for reminding me, we need to get you your own owl. I know it's uncommon in the muggle world but here, most mail is sent through owl post. I'll teach you how to care for-”

“No need. I know how to care for messenger owls. A close friend keeps them as a hobby so I'm quite familiar.”

“I see… Well, you'll be better prepared than most. The only thing more useful you could have learned as a muggle would be how to speak Latin.”

“I do speak Latin. I'm Catholic and I've been reading the Bible in Latin for years now.”

“I'm impressed. That will certainly make your life here much easier.”

“Good to know.”

Professor Fig picked an owl for me before returning to the tavern we had entered the alley through.

Chapter 15 art

Chapter 17 art

Master list

[xelelax]

Devil's hand

Yandere!DevilCapitano x Innocent!FemReader

________

Manipulation, slight somno, death, gore, kidnapping, deluluness

_________

To pray for the Lord's hand was something not everyone wanted to do. To pray for a god that couldn't have been there? Many people had theories and lore behind the books, but when it came to reality; it had to be convincing to prove ones authority.

Why else would people follow?

From the deepest of cold eyes to a fiery lit blaze, many others chose not to follow the cold icy path rather than the hot steaming pathway filled to hells extent.

A book about a man's wrongdoings that then were enslaved or promised as the Devil's diplomats. Many others believed in devils or paranormal stuff that had to deal with the horned man's hand, yet others were too careful.

Being good to themselves, they oathed themselves to live high amongst to what others call, 'The Heavens'.

The only place that you can redeem yourself and or be praised for doing your best.

It was as simple as doing a chore, or helping a friend out that earned the points of your redeemable self esteem and matured mentality, which thus led to father and the sisterly nuns to praise you.

After-all, you did everything that abided by the rules of god. The house that was connected to his whole being.

__________

With an under-toned source of light that was slightly shimmering its way through the grey curtains in the quarters I stayed at, from the way the light shone and was angled, it was morning.

Yet, from the inexcusable amount of sleep I endured and after many activities from the previous nights before, I awoke with tired eyes and a body needing to be stretched.

After the previous nights of countless chores and prayers and the cleaning needed, it needed to happen again as the hand of the lord told me so, The Priest whom I've called father for the past century.

Stretching wouldn't do me any good for the next few days, it was a break I much needed. From solemn nights alone to the sleepless nights I receive, all I could do was but nothing until these Activities asked by father would soon die down.

Activities you may ask, what are they for? Not only am I a nun, a second hand as an apprentice to her lordship, but we weren't that secluded to the citizen life. We resided in a small town. Of course we're far from the towns reach, but not too far to not go ahead and walk there.

In the next upcoming days, would there be a festival that the Church would host yearly.

It was a festival of celebration for the life given and the still standing building that's been on this land for centuries. From the current one to the last of the priests, not only have they kept this tradition up, but added more things to make the days more fun.

Kids from other towns that visited our own festivities made the town quite popular for its yearly tourists. There would be faces you'd recognize as they would always come with that attitude you can recognize, or even the way they acted.

Most of the sisters and I could remember the familiar faces that swarmed in groups and multiple passerbies.

But, having to see those faces that brought me joy would come sooner or later. As of now, I had to prepare myself for another day of cleaning and possible lectures from Father.

I threw off the blankets from my body which was then met with a frosty nip to my bare legs, causing me to hiss in annoyance and the cold shiver that went up my spine.

How cold it was today. Winter seemed to be approaching, and it wouldn't be long till all the leaves would fall and turn into a ray of shimmering golds, browns and reds.

The dying of plants was nature's course, but soon they'll be alive and show off their beautiful vibrance once more if spring were to ever come back.

My eyes faced the window that was still slightly covered by the curtain that hid away its brightful light that faced towards my direction. I opened the curtain slowly so I could allow myself to adjust to the light that I became accustomed to ever since I came to the Church Of Hearth.

My feet found the solid ground that was planted with a smooth texture of wood, a deep oak that had a certain authenticity to it with the room I shared to myself.

Cold at first, I flinched for a moment only to just realize it was just the coldness that seeped from my window.

It was normal to feel this slithering feeling during the platform that held this place of high regard whenever the winter came by. Sometimes, the winter would last for months and months until it started to show the snow dissipating from the sights of many sore eyes.

Morning drowsiness wasn't my best perk, but it was one of the things that made me feel human. But unfortunately to Father, it wasn't suitable for a lady like me.

Though he couldn't care less with what I did, I still had to abide by the rules of the Hearth. From the echoey and deep hallways, I could hear my siblings all running around, laughing and quarreling with one and another.

This would happen every morning, every single day of the year that showed no remorse to the others that resided in their chambers.

With this, Father was displeased most of the time. Always lecturing and giving light punishments to the youngsters, just like she did with me and the older ones.

Though I learned my lessons, it seems that the tradition passes on not by blood, but by the mindset that every young child would have.

Though through the fits of laughter and loud rambunctious yelling, all I could hear coming closer were a set of footsteps coming towards my dorm.

Scrambling out of bed, I was quick to lock the door of the room and get myself appropriately dressed for the day, considering how I had woken up so late. Father hated it when anyone wasn't following their schedule properly, and even so–not dressing yourself to her standards.

If you had a tad bit of a wrinkle, Father would remark a scowl and humiliation towards said person, which made everything tense in the household. The only ones who could keep up with this so-called torment were the ones with that of a stronger mindset.

Though it may seem like it's just an orphanage, It was also a church to pray and pursue the arts of Christianity. We were an orphanage that held a religious act, so to say the least, it was both our home and our safe place.

My legs that were still nicked by the cold made quick work on getting myself dressed as quick as I could before someone would enter through my room and see my disheveled self.

Hasty but cold numb fingers that caught the fabrics that I wore daily, the soft fabric that would show my status and maturity towards my features. Presentation was everything, especially towards Father.

From what I had grabbed, it was one of the nun outfits that all of us had to wear, but mine was different. Infused with that bright crimson red with the sincerity of white being the more prominent colour, the crimson that hued a dangerous glow was embroidered onto my wimple that was of heavy fabric, light to carry, but enough to not seem so fluffy and flimsy as a hat. As I said, presentation was everything.

Black and red embroidered flowers and feathers were stripped from the chest to the waist down, showing my appearance and appeal to the clothing I wore.

For everything at the cost of getting ready, the last thing I needed to fix was my stupid, fucking, hair.

The main thing that made things very troublesome, something that I hated the most with wearing this hat.

I had gone to quickly fix it, but the apparent loud knocking had caused me to freeze simultaneously. Three, slow, knocks. Those knocks recognizable by the way it was performed.

Then, there came her voice.

"Y/n, may I come in."

From the way it sounded, it wasn't a question to be denied or outright accept. It was a demand, not many would notice this but for the children that grew up with her, most of us would damn right know that we couldn't refuse her.

With a steady breathe and clearer mindset, I slowly walked over to the door that was currently locked, and unlocked it with just a twist of a key. The audible noise it made paused the room to be cold, quiet and ominous.

Then, the loud screeching of the door. The hinges to the door needed a refuel for oil, to keep it from scratching and screeching ominously and terribly for one's ears. Yet, no one seemed phased.

Standing in front of the door was father, Arlecchino, the main house holder of this establishment in this crude and solemn place. She had that same stoic face that others would call, 'a resting bitch face'.

She didn't care what others thought of her as she knew her own presentation mattered more, but for her children? That was the main thing she was worried about, their appearance, their actions, their schedule. Not herself in the slightest.

She was strict with herself though, that's for sure.

With that strict schedule, she herself had revolved herself into her work. Not with the prayers and religious sign holdings, but her work that she forced herself to work in. From multiple papers to personal matters, she was nearly gone for many weeks, if not then months.

But why was she at my door now?

"Father." I greeted with a tone she knew full well, something she didn't particularly mention at first.

With a courtesy of a nod and small bow with hands placed over one another, Father seemed pleased but didn't care for the standard greeting.

"Y/n." She said with that monotone voice she had, but from the way she said it sounded like she had news to tell.

I kept still in the same spot without moving or raising a head, keeping that hold on my body that many times used to cramp up, but now it was imprinted into my brain not to move when Father was present in the room.

"What brought your presence here, Father?" I questioned, questioning her motives and the way she aimlessly walked around my near empty room and sliding her finger on everything to see if everything was clean.

"You barely have anything in your room, Y/n.. what about the mora I had given you for such stuff, isn't that what you guys desire?" She questioned as she still wandered around, inspecting everything with her cold, brutal eyes. Though I knew she didn't care, her question caught me off guard.

"I used it for better necessities instead of using it for my room to have a better display, I would if I had the mindset that mora is everything.." I stated with my head lowered so I wouldn't have to face her, not wanting to offend the guardian who had raised me.

A silent but audible hum came from her, seeing as the way I took things personally didn't make her see anything else from me besides as her apprentice. She carefully walked behind me and slid her long pointed nails towards my nape, slowly sliding up towards where that certain mark was placed against, small but symbolic of meaning.

"Interesting...fine then, at least get some stuff for your chamber to make it more presentable, that is an order.." She said–no, ordered. Demanded it. It wasn't a question that needed to be answered, it was a statement that needed to be followed. I knew I couldn't afford or wanted such accessories in my bedroom but for the sake of what Father wanted, I was forced to do so without another thought.

I nodded my head lightly, enough to show her my compliance towards her which she was pleased with.

Walking towards the door, she was ready to leave but still continued chatting with me–informing me of her business.

"Good, now I have personal matters to attend too, you are to come with me to the north of Snezhnaya–"

"Snezhnaya?! I thought us children weren't allowed–"

Her glare towards me made me back down instantly, causing me to gulp and hide away my hands under my long sleeves. That gleaming eye that was a crimson red that stared into the depths of my soul, all I knew was to never do that again.

Never interrupt father.

"Now, seeing as your hair is still messed up and your noticeable bags under those courageous eyes of yours, you'll have a day off, go see your sisters to reduce that burden against your face and.." She walked over to face me and gave me that stare that every child would be afraid of, but I didn't back down. Instead, all of us knew not to fear over something we can fight against, fight your fears she'd say.

Staring back at her with my own, I didn't fight back or resist, I didn't hesitate to look at her, staring into her soul as if challenging her to a duel. That was one thing all of us never wanted.

"Never interrupt me again... Understood?" She stated with each word sounding like in distaste and disgust towards me. Though, I know she didn't hate me, she wasn't lenient either. Lecturing as she was, she had that authoritative figure that was known in the community but was still kind enough.

"Yes, Father." I said, my head now lowered once more to say my goodbye to her for the day. She looked at me for awhile, eyeing me up and down until she had left the room, the door closing to an audible shut.

After that, I fell onto my knees and clasped one of my palms against the back of my neck, heaving for air like I hadn't had a grasp of it in ages.

Father, not only was she a figure in my life.. but her aura, her power spoke of everything.

Yet, something else escaped her whole demented being. Something sinister, not the one she would usually wear, it was something else. The way she touched my nape, where she slid her pointed red nail across the symbolic birthmark that was there since I had been born.

It looked as if to be a star from what I've been told, a star that once used to be people's gazes, their own irises that shone like true beauty.

Yet, I could not see it.

My fists clenched tightly against one another, feeling whatever emotion that so desperately wanted to slip out and fight against these barricades that drew me in, yet I could not seek them out in my mind. Something was there, but could it just be a delusion?

Nonsense. It had to be there, I just couldn't tell where.

__________

Lyney and Lynette were practicing their facade for the festival, hoping to mesmerize the children with their little story of little acts and magics that they held onto their hands.

Lynette, being the acrobat as she was, was training herself to practice for the upcoming event.

Lyney, however, was watching his twin sister whilst clapping his hands to honor her role for being the best that she was. That was, until he spotted a certain someone at the corner of his eye!

"Y/n! Over here!" He gleefully said as he waved me over to come sit by him. I accepted and walked right over, even though I thought I looked ridiculous–no one in the family had bothered to say anything, knowing they'd have their heads chopped by Father.

"Lyney, Lynette, what a wonderful occasion we have here settled." I greeted with a small smile on my face.

Lynette stopped her practice for just the moment; wanting to take a break and chat with one of her sisters who sat next to Lyney, her twin brother.

The two twins, now sat next to each other and asking the usual questions from the time I've been here.

"Anything new with Father?" Lynette asked with almost a silent whisper, wanting to be discreet.

Though I admired her not wanting to get in trouble, she and her brother would find themselves in a bit of trouble if Father were to ever see them gossiping to one and another.

"Other than sending me with her with clearly no choice on the matter, nothing else is new." I stated as I picked a grape out of the bowl that Lyney had next to him all this time, and ate the small fruit as I told them everything that happened so far.

"Woke up late, got ready too late, Father noticed, but.. whats getting worse is the stiffening feeling in my neck. I think I might have meningitis-" I stated but was immediately interrupted by my brother, Lyney.

"Oh trust me, you don't have that. Since you're overworking and Father put you on a lot of the chores during this week, it probably made you really tense and sore." Lyney said, trying to encourage me that It wasn't something as terrifying as that. He waved a hand towards me with that cunning smile he always wore, as if shooing me off and to go back and rest for the day. I furrowed my brows in confusion, hoping to settle with them for the time being but was undoubtedly shoo'ed of by the both of them and was forced to head back towards my quarters. Part 1. | Next... ___________

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Superstar (Roy's Version)

I couldn't help myself. I love this man too too much! Here's what Roy experienced during the Reader's first few weeks at Nelson Road.

Roy Kent x Reader

3.2k words

Warnings: Language, Roy being lovesick & slightly stalkerish in a rom-com way

The Superstar Series

~

“D’we really need a fucking assistant?” Roy asked again, staring at Ted incredulously, thinking, for the millionth time, that the gaffer was the nuttiest man he’d ever met.

Ted shrugged, far too used to Roy to point out that Roy’d asked him this three times in the past week. “Sure. Someone to help keep track of our schedules, emails, lots of stuff. That way we can focus on the beautiful game.”

To Roy’s surprise, Beard spoke up. “We had a student assistant back at Wichita. The kid was indispensable, always thinking of things we didn’t even realize would be useful.” He shrugged. “You’d be surprised.”

“Whatever.” Roy rolled his eyes and returned to his own office- the one he’d have to ­share now- and continued adjusting on the play he was working on in his black notebook. He knew he was more annoyed at adding someone new to the mix than he was about whether they needed extra help. He’d just gotten used to the Americans, just allowed himself to somewhat enjoy his after-work time with Jamie, and now Ted expected him to be okay with welcoming someone new into the office.

Wanker.

“Hope ya don’t mind sharing!” Ted’s voice slammed against Roy’s ears as the coach entered the office.

A lump formed in Roy’s throat as he glanced up. He should have asked more questions about this whole assistant thing so he could prepare himself. He’d been expecting some young, nervous guy like Will to be joining the staff; not this gorgeous woman standing in front of him, your wide eyes and slight flush only adding to your beauty.

Ted prattled on, oblivious to the sound of Roy’s heart slamming against his chest. “I’m sure you know this ray of sunshine here is Roy Kent.”

Ignoring the stupid butterflies that were forming in his stomach, Roy scowled and stuck his hand out. “You’re the assistant then?”

Your fingertips twitched as you connected your hand to his. “I-I am.”

Nope. Nope. He couldn’t do this. He needed to get the fuck out of here before he said something stupid or did something idiotic.

Roy pulled his hand back, wondering if you’d been able to feel his racing pulse. “Well, as long as you keep your shit off my desk and don’t wear any rancid perfume, we should be fucking fine.” Hating himself for being, well, Roy, he stood up, snatched the notebook off his desk, and trudged off, careful not to nudge you as he rushed past.

He didn’t stop until he was far down the hallway, away from those wide eyes, where he could lean against the wall and take some deep breaths.

Roy Kent was fucked.

~

He’d tried to put you out of his head the rest of the day. Tried to focus on training. Tried to focus on the plays he was meant to show Ted later in the week. Tried to focus on his drive over to the school to pick up Phoebe. Tried to focus on whatever the kid was yammering about. Tried to focus on the games they played while they waited for his sister to come pick her up. Tried to focus on the takeaway his sister had brought over so they could all eat together in Roy’s kitchen.

Brilliant as she was, his sister noticed. “What’s up with you?” she asked, eyebrow raised suspiciously.

He grunted and poked at his food. “Work shit,” he mumbled. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Phoebe add a new tally mark in her notebook. “Lasso decided we need an assistant to keep us organized and shit, so now I get to share my office.”

“Hmm.” A smirk played on his sister’s lips. “Don’t like him already? Poor fella.”

“Her,” Roy corrected without thinking. Fuck, he wished his sister had brought something spicy for dinner; that would have been a good explanation for the pink coloring he was sure his cheeks had now.

His sister’s eyes lit up. “Ah.” As if that explained everything. “She’s pretty then?”

Roy narrowed his eyes at his sister, unable to hide the small smile on his face. “Shut up,” he growled softly.

Her smile grew. “Oh man, she must be gorgeous. You’re so screwed.”

~

For two weeks, Roy avoided you- an impressive feat, considering you worked just across the tiny office. But the more he watched you, the stupider he felt.

You were hardworking. And kind. And funny. And fuck, the more he stared, the more he noticed little things about you that just worked to enhance your attractiveness. He should have known he’d snap eventually.

“D’you like kebabs?”

The words just came out. Despite the embarrassing amount of time he’d spent acting like a teenager, imagining the different conversations he’d initiate with you, it all went out the window at lunchtime. Instead, he blurted out the stupidest question he’d ever heard.

His pulse quickened when you paused your work and turned around. “Excuse me?”

Fuck. Even you thought he was an idiot.

You’re Roy fucking Kent. Act like it. He let out a heaving sigh as he turned his chair around, desperate to come across as uninterested and not the pining prick he felt himself becoming. “Kebabs,” he repeated slowly. “D’you like ’em?”

“Uh, I guess.” Even with your face crinkled in confusion, he still felt like he was going to have a heart attack every time he looked at you.

Not that he could let you know. “You guess?” he repeated, trying to hold back laughter at your adorably puzzled expression. “You either fuckin’ like them or you don’t.”

“Fine, fine, I like kebabs.”

He could see the smile in your eyes, even if it didn’t reach the rest of your face. He loved it. It was enough to get him on his feet. “Okay.”

Before Roy knew it, he was walking through the halls of Nelson Road, hanging onto a takeaway bag like it was a lifesaver. He’d never brought anyone lunch before. Heck, he’d never brought anyone anything before. But here he was, suddenly turned into your personal fucking delivery service.

When he walked into the office, you were again bent over your laptop, not looking up at the sound of his footsteps. Roy wasn’t surprised though; he’d learned quickly that when you were focused, it was a bit hard to divert you.

He pulled out one of the Styrofoam containers and dropped it onto your desk, wincing at the slam. When you looked up at him, he went into a scowl, hoping you wouldn’t notice the unevenness of his breathing.

“Thanks, Roy.”

Fuck. He loved the way you said his name. After all those years of having it screamed by coaches or chanted by fans, it sounded so soft, so gentle coming out of your mouth. A mouth he really needed to stop staring at.

He quickly averted his eyes to your desk. It was neat, tidy. He paused when he saw a framed photo of you, an older couple, and two teenage boys standing amid large trees.

“That your family?”

Your gaze followed his. “Oh, yeah. My folks and brothers. They live not far from here. We grew up huge Richmond fans.”

Ah. That was why you always looked nervous around him. Your family were fans. Nothing more.

Roy couldn’t resist the next question that tumbled out of his mouth. “What, no pictures of your boyfriend?” He prayed he didn’t sound too interested. “Is he fuickin’ ugly or somethin’?”

He had to be imagining the flush in your cheeks. “No boyfriend. What about you? I don’t see your model of the week on your desk.”

Your cheekiness took him by such surprise that he couldn’t resist a tiny smile. “I’m too fucking old for that shit now.”

 “Uh huh.” You looked like you’d malfunctioned. “I like kebabs.”

That was it. The moment he didn’t know he’d been waiting for his whole life. He felt like a colossal bolt of lightning had fucking punched his heart. With three little words barely squeaked past your lips, Roy Kent was a fucking goner.

~

Ted poked his head into Roy’s office, clutching a manila envelope. His face faltered slightly when he saw your empty desk. “Shoot, she took off early, didn’t she?” Roy grunted in response. “That’s right. She said somethin’ about a birthday dinner.” He sighed, glancing down at the envelope. “Well, I can give this to her on Mon-”

“I can take it to her.”

Roy didn’t know why he said that. He never volunteered to do anything extra, let alone something that would have him running around on a Friday night. But the idea of seeing your face, of getting a glimpse of you before being separated by the weekend he always found himself dreading these days, had made his mouth act without his brain.

Ted stared at him for a moment, his mustache giving a small twitch. “Aw, you really don’t gotta do that Roy. It’s not a big deal, honestly.”

“It’s fine,” Roy grumbled, not quite looking at the man.

Something sparkled in Ted’s eyes; Roy ignored it, the way he ignored most things about Ted. “Alright, well if you insist.” He handed Roy the envelope. “Do you need help pulling up her address? I could even go with you if you want.”

“Fuck no.” His answer was too quick. “I, um, she told me whereabouts she lives. I’ve got it.”

“Hmm.” Ted smiled at Roy, a soft, knowing smile that made Roy’s insides squirm. “Well, if you’re sure you’ve got it.” He waggled his fingers at Roy. “I’m sure you’ll have a great weekend, Roy.”

Roy frowned as Ted left, tailed by Beard, who gave Roy a playful smirk as well. Wankers.

He sighed as he packed up his things into his bag, wondering what the fuck he’d just signed himself up for. As he settled into the front seat of his car, he pulled out his mobile, trying to figure out what to do. He wished he had your number, but he’d never figured out the right way to ask. Maybe he should have asked Ted for help.

As he gazed as the black screen, a small ping filled the silence. He frowned and unlocked the phone; it was a Snapchat from Ted, sharing a photo of his beer with Beard in the background. Just as Roy was about to roll his eyes, he realized something. You were in that group chat. Tapping quickly, he found what he was looking for: your Snapchat location.

Ignoring the fact that he felt like an absolute fucking stalker, he started the car and headed towards the neighborhood on the screen. He zoomed in as much as he could before realizing that he couldn’t pinpoint exactly which house was yours. Fuck.

Alright, fine. He could handle this. Roy parked and grabbed the stupid manila envelope, taking one more look at the map on his phone. His mind wandered to the movie his Yoga group liked to watch together at Christmastime. Yeah, he could do this. If that spindly wanker Hugh Grant could go door to door in search of his dream girl, so could Roy fucking Kent.

He took a deep breath and approached the first door. Just fucking do it. He knocked, steeling himself for the moment you opened the door.

Except it wasn’t you. And neither was the next one. He was about halfway up the street when he started to lose his resolve. If he had to say “Yeah, I’m Roy Kent” one more time, he was going to slam his face into a wall over and over until he passed out.

With a heaving sigh, he approached the next house. He fully expected yet another granny or pimply preteen.

His face burned when he saw you.

Quickly recovering, he pushed his way inside, pretending his mind wasn’t reeling. “We should really put a fucking tracking device on you.”

“Um, not to be rude, but why are you here? At my mum and dad’s house?”

Oh. This wasn’t your house; it was your parents’. Roy couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed that he didn’t get to see your home. But he couldn’t let you know that.

“Some papers Lasso wanted you to work on if you can this weekend. Said it was important. I dunno, I don’t fucking listen to him when he yammers,” Roy lie, lie, lied.

“Oh. And how-how did you know where I was?” Roy’s heart fluttered when he saw the way you fidgeted as you spoke. Why were you nervous?

Roy acted as if his heart wasn’t aching at the sight of you. “You’re one of those idiots that has their Snapchat locations on. You’re gonna get fucking murdered one of these days y’know.”

The grin you wore could bring a man back from the dead. “And you’re gonna murder me?”

As if you didn’t murder him with that smile every fucking day. “Not today.” He couldn’t help his own smile. “But apparently if I wanted to, you’d be easy as hell to find.”

“I’ll just have to keep being a good officemate then,” you hummed, the teasing tone in your voice sending Roy’s heart into overdrive.

Without thinking, he took a step towards you, his voice rough and uncharacteristically flirty. “You’re doing a fine job so far.”

This was it. He was going to finally make his move. He was Roy fucking Kent, after all. All he had to do was grab you and kiss you.

But instead, he was tackled by a very enthusiastic father and dragged into an admittedly delicious birthday dinner. Although the domestic scene wasn’t one that he typically found himself him, Roy couldn’t help but revel in the opportunity to sit close to you, your arm brushing his far too often to be a coincidence. In the back of his head, he even allowed himself to imagine this as a regular occurrence, having dinner with your family. But he was getting far too ahead of himself.

As dinner transitioned into dessert, you excused yourself to go upstairs to grab something. Roy could have stayed at the table, hanging out with your family, charming your mother, and answering more questions from your brothers, but his stupid giant crush got the better of him. He awkwardly asked for directions to the bathroom and was pointed upstairs.

He took the stairs two at a time, at least as much as his shit knee would let him, trying to figure out what he’d say once he was face to face with you. He wasn’t sure you liked him, but he couldn’t help but hope that he wasn’t too grumpy, too old, too past his prime for a girl like you.

The muttering he heard from an ajar door pointed him in the right direction. He nudged the door open and saw you, on the floor, clearly searching for something. Before he could say anything, he took a look around the room. What he saw made his heart nearly stop.

Holy shit.

Roy Kent had never seen so many photos of himself in one location in his life. This would be a normal girl’s room if it weren’t for all the football posters covering every square inch of wall- most of them featuring his scowling face. He was sure he even saw Sharpie hearts scrawled all over the one in the corner near the window.

This had to mean something, right?

Trying to keep cool, he mumbled, “Ah, this isn’t the fucking loo.”

The panic on your face made Roy melt. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch your mortified face, to tell you that it was cute, that he wished he had a room full of posters of your gorgeous face.

Instead, he closed the door behind him and stepped forward. “Why the fuck are there so many pictures of me in this room?”

You stood up, fidgeting worse than he’d ever seen anyone. “I, uh, I told you. My family’s huge Richmond fans. You’re kind of our favorite player. Hence, my dad’s excitement when he saw you.”

Suddenly feeling bold, probably for the first time since he met you, Roy stuffed his hands in his pockets and took another look at all the posters of himself. “So… does that mean I’m your favorite too?”

His heart fluttered as he watched your blush deepen. “I… I mean… I guess.”

Unable to look at you anymore, lest he grab you and kiss you heatedly, Roy’s gaze fluttered upwards. Now he was sure his heart had stopped.

A room full of posters of him was one thing. A poster of him above your bed? Fuck, that was hot.

“Is that a fucking poster of me above your bed?”

Your squirming figure was never more attractive to him. “Oh, you know, gotta keep the monsters away somehow.”

That caught him off-guard. He couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled past his lips. Fuck, you were funny sometimes. “That’s what I’m good for? Scaring away fucking monsters?”

He felt like an arse for laughing when he saw the humiliation as you covered your face and flopped onto your bed. Your voice sounded so small. “Please don’t tell anyone. This was my room when I used to live here, I was a dumb kid. I swear to God, my flat is normal. A normal adult flat.”

Your panicked babbling was adorable.

Roy sat beside you, trying not to think too hard about the fact that he was on your bed. The bed with a poster of himself right above it, a poster you probably spent all of your teen years staring at before falling asleep.

He was relieved when you looked over at him. He knew he had to say something. “Hey, no need to be fucking embarrassed.” He glanced up at the poster. It was a damn good picture, one from his Chelsea days. “Can’t say I blame you. I was young and hot.”

Your grin was worth the self-deprecating comment. “You’re not that much older now, Kent.”

The implication made him forget how to breathe. “I’m still hot then?” He couldn’t wait for an answer before he leaned in close and cupped your face. “Please say yes,” he heard himself rasp, not caring how desperate he sounded.

He could hardly believe his ears when you whispered, “Yes.”

That was all he needed. He pressed his lips to yours and felt you melt against him. Feeling your body press against his, Roy reminded himself that this was a first kiss, that he should keep things small, sweet, chaste. Hopefully there would be time for other kinds of kissing later.

The giggle you released was the greatest sound he’d ever heard. He smiled, probably a big, stupid smile, and prepared to ask you about maybe going on a date-

“Oi!” The knocking on the door nearly made him jump. “Mum and Dad want to know if you’re snogging Roy Kent in there!”

Roy felt like a bashful teenager as he smiled at you. “Don’t suppose I can tell your brother to fuck off?” he joked.

He liked the laughter he saw in your eyes. “’d rather you didn’t.”

“Well then.” Figuring that this was the end of this particular moment of romance, Roy stood and took your hand to pull you to your feet. “Guess we should go have some fucking cake,” he joked. His gaze lingered on the poster of himself, the one above your bed. “You should bring that thing to work sometime. I can fucking autograph it if you want.”

[rxmqnova]

The other universe

Y/N: 25 years old Wanda: 29 years old Story: Wanda kidnapped her girlfriend from a different universe… ——————————————————

Y/N'S POV "Please Y/N/N, I really need you to wake up" I hear someone's voice in my head. Everything's dark around me. Why's everything dark? "Y/N/N, I need you" The woman's voice whispers. Finally I manage to open my eyes, the light making me blink a few times to adjust. I find myself in a hospital room… again?!

"Y/N/N" An angelic voice says, my eyes widen when I see the love of my life next to my bed. Wanda's smiling at me, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Wha… What happened?" I ask confused. I just got back to the compound from the hospital after the battle with Thanos, so what am I doing here? Wanda, my sisters Natasha and Yelena, just none of the Avengers had no idea who I am just like Thanos promised after I managed to destroy the reality stone. I did it for nothing though, he used the time stone Strange gave him and got the stone back, ruining my life. But I'm so confused right now… Does Wanda remember me now? Was that just a dream? Or is someone really messing up with me?

"You were badly hurt, my love. But it's okay now. I'm here and I'm never leaving you" Wanda smiles, pressing another kiss to my forehead, then holding my hand and rubbing my knuckles with her thumb. Tears immediately get into my eyes, it was all just a bad dream. "No, no. Don't cry, baby. You need to rest and this is hurting you" She says, wiping my tears out with her thumbs.

"I had the worst dream ever" I sigh, taking Wanda's hands in mine. "Nobody remembered me. You didn't remember me, Nat and Yelena didn't remember me. It was terrible" I say weakly, new tears forming in my eyes.

"Baby, it's all okay now. It was just a bad dream, you have nothing to worry about. I'm here with you" Wanda smiles, kissing my forehead again. I missed her so much.

"Please don't leave me" I whisper, holding her hands tightly on which Wanda gives me a warm smile.

"I will never leave you, darling" She leans in, pecking my lips with a sweet kiss which brings a weak smile onto my face.

———————————

The next few days Wanda hasn't left my side. My sisters haven't showed up which worries me a little bit, but Wanda said they're on a mission.

They're letting me out of the hospital today which is great, cause I really was starting to get bored in here.

Wanda pulls over, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion… This is not the Avengers compound.

"Wands? Why are we in the middle of nowhere? I thought we're going home" I ask her on which Wanda smiles, taking my hand in hers.

"You need to rest, honey. We'll go back to the compound when you're completely okay" She explains, pressing a kiss to my hand she's holding. She walks over to the passenger seat, opening the door for me. "My lady" She waits for me to take a hold of her hand which makes me chuckle.

"Such a gentlewoman" I smile, trying not to laugh. Wanda chuckles, pressing a kiss to my cheek and interlocking our fingers as we walk inside the little house.

"Okay, my love. Take a seat and I'll make us something to eat" Wanda smiles, leading me to the kitchen. I smile back, pecking Wanda's lips before sitting on a chair.

Wanda gets into cooking straight away. I missed the sight of her in the kitchen. She's the best cook ever and the way she's moving around the kitchen… I could watch her all day.

As I said, Wanda is the best cook ever. The lunch she prepared tastes amazing. I've told her like 10 times already. I like the way she blushes every time I say it.

"Wands, let me help you" I whine, trying to get my girlfriend into agreeing that I help cleaning up. She cooked, so it's only fair if I help her to wash the dishes.

"Y/N/N, I said no. You need to rest and I don't mind doing that. Wait on the couch and choose something to watch. I'll join you in a minute" Wanda smiles as I only pout. She kisses the pout away, sending me on the couch.

I choose The Dick Van Dyke Show as it's mine's and Wanda's favorite. We're both huge sitcom lovers. Wanda joins me in a minute, wrapping her arms around me as my head rests on her shoulder.

"What are we watching?" Wanda kisses my forehead, only causing me to snuggle up to her more. I missed these moments so much.

"Our favorite… The Dick Van Dyke Show" I smile, seeing her smile back. "I missed you so much" I sigh out.

"I missed you too, you have no idea how much" She says, playing with my hair and kissing the top of my head. "I love you, Y/N/N"

"I love you too, Wands" I look at her, moving closer to connect our lips into passionate kiss. Wanda showing she's the dominant one takes control of the kiss immediately.

We pull away and Wanda gives me the cutest smile ever. God, I love my girlfriend so much. I smile back, cuddling up to her and resting my head back on her shoulder.

"How long will we stay here?" I ask, now playing with Wanda's rings.

"Until you're completely okay" Wanda answers. "I can't risk anything happening to you again. I can't lose you, Y/N" She says, her lips pressing a kiss to my head.

"You won't. We're inseparable" I smile, giving her hand a kiss and interlocking our fingers.

———————————

A week has passed since we came here. Wanda and I are currently on the garden, just walking around while holding hands, enjoying the nice weather. I'm feeling way better now. I think we might go home to the compound soon.

"Wanda, let the girl go" Someone says behind us. Wanda and I stop walking, turning around and seeing Stephen Strange standing behind us.

"Baby, can you go inside? I'll be right there" Wanda smiles at me, squeezing my hand.

"No. Don't listen to her, Y/N. You don't belong here" He says quickly, making me furrow my brows. What does that mean?

"Honey, don't listen to him. Please go inside" Wanda says, giving me her stern look, so I better turn around and start walking inside.

"You're not from this universe, Y/N" Strange says, making me turn around and look at him confused.

"What do you mean?" I ask, tilting my head in confusion.

"Y/N/N, please don't listen to him" Wanda sighs, taking my hand in hers.

"Wanda used dark magic to get you here. You don't belong here. This is not your universe" As much as I don't like this guy for giving Thanos the time stone… he sounds like he's telling the truth. Wanda would never do anything to hurt me though. Wanda's jaw clenches as she turns around, looking really angry.

"You can't take her away from me, Stephen!" Wanda raises her voice.

"Wanda, you kidnapped an innocent girl. Your Y/N is dead. You can't just steal another version of her" Strange says. I'm dead? Another version of me? What in the world?!

"I-I'm dead? What? I. No. I-I'm here" I say confused, tears forming in my eyes as I'm waiting for an explination from my girlfriend.

"See what you're doing?! You're gonna ruin everything! I can't lose her again. I won't lose her again!" Wanda yells at him before turning at me, cupping my cheeks with her hands and wiping out my tears. "Y/N, I promise you're okay. We're okay. You believe me right?" Wanda smiles softly.

"I-I. Yeah. But… the… the weird dream I had that I told you about… was that really a dream?" I ask. It felt way too real to be a dream. I'm just so confused right now.

"It wasn't. It was reality" Strange speaks up before Wanda could say anything. "And we have to get you back"

"No!" Wanda turns around, ready to attack him. I have to do something!

"Hey, Hey. Stop" I quickly stand in between them. "I want to know the whole truth… please" I look at Wanda, pleading her with my eyes. She stares at me for a few seconds before letting out a quiet 'okay'.

"Let's go inside. You still need to rest. I'll tell you everything, I promise" She says, holding my hand.

We head back inside, Strange following us. I immediately sit on the couch, Wanda next to me, still holding my hand tightly while Strange stands in front of us.

"So?" I encourage, giving Wanda's hand a comforting squeeze.

"I… I brought you here from a different universe. The… dream you had wasn't a dream, it really happened. In your universe everyone forgot who you are and in mine… the battle with Thanos was completely different than what you experienced" She stops for a second, tears quietly running down her face. I rub her knuckles with my thumb for a support. "Thanos got all of the Infinity stones and… half population of the world disappeared, including me… my Y/N/N, she… she sacrificed herself to get everyone back" She sobs which breaks my heart. I hate seeing Wanda crying, whether she's my Wanda or this Wanda. "I lost my parents, my brother… then the love of my life. I just couldn't live without you anymore. I needed you, so I thought that you and I could be happy together. I'm sorry" She breaks into tears completely, bringing tears into my eyes.

"Wands" I whisper, wrapping my arms around her. "You didn't mean it in a bad way, it's okay. I'm not mad at you" I wipe her tears out, giving her a smile while tears quietly run down my cheeks.

"Now you know. We have to get you back" Strange speaks… Do I even wanna go back? Nobody remembers me and here I have what I've always wanted. Sure, this is not my Wanda Wanda, but she's still my Wanda and she clearly loves me and I don't think it's possible to get everyone remember me in my universe. Plus… I think I deserve to be a little selfish after everything I've been through in the Red Room.

"Hold up. I think it's my decision if I want to go back in the first place" I tell him seriously. Wanda looks up at me, her red puffy eyes watching me confused.

"Y/N, you are dead in this universe. You have to go back" He tells me seriously.

"What if I don't want to?… Look… Nobody remembers me in my universe, my Wanda, my sisters, nobody. The Infinity stones are destroyed in my universe, so I can't use the reality stone to rewrite reality again and get everyone to remember me. My Wanda plans kids with Vision and I'm nobody to her, but here… here Wanda and I could be happy together. I could have my sisters, my family. Maybe this is how it was supposed to be and this Wanda and this me were meant for each other" I tell him.

"These are not the rules, you can't just-" He starts, but I cut him off.

"Rules" I scoff. "So you can break the rules and give Thanos the time stone, but Wanda and I can't break the rules?" I raise an eyebrow at him. "I want to stay here with Wanda and you won't make me to go back" I decide, Strange looking at me angrily.

"Really?" Wanda's breaking voice asks. I give her an honest smile, nodding my head.

"Yeah… If you want me to stay" I squeeze her hand that I'm still holding.

"I.. of course I do" She smiles, few more tears escaping her eyes. "Perfect. Then I think… Wait, I have an important question… Do you like Taylor Swift?… Do you guys have Taylor Swift here, right?" I ask which makes Wanda chuckle.

"We do and I love every one of her songs" Wanda answers.

"Perfect. Then I think this will work" I smile.

----------------------

Hopefully this makes sense...

Wanda Maximoff masterlist

Masterlist

[missameliep]

Second Chances - Chapter Twenty Five: It starts with a kiss

Book: Desire and Decorum – Modern AU 

Pairings: Prince Hamid x Elizabeth (OC); Briar Daly x Edmund Marlcaster

Characters: Elizabeth Foredale (OC); Prince Hamid; Briar Daly; Edmund Marlcaster.

Rating: M (see trigger warnings in the notes bellow)

Word count: ~8k

Summary: After the drinking games at Edgewater, before sunrise, someone will reveal their feelings; and fortunately those suffering with a hungover, won't need to deal with it alone.

A/N: 

All characters belong to Pixelberry, except OC. Turkish words are translated in the notes in the end.

Trigger warnings: mentions of past drinking and drug consumption. Reader discretion advised.

This is my submission to @choicesprompts ' Flufftober 2024 Choices - prompts 1 (First Kiss)

September, 2018 – London – Friday night – six weeks before the weekend at Edgewater 

Slumped onto one of the large armchairs settled in the middle of the game room, Edmund used one controller to adjust the lights, a softer blueish hue surrounded them, and the other to select an option, starting the gameplay and its characteristic music blasted. 

Elizabeth sighed and asked, “Are you sure you’re not going? It’ll be fun.” 

“I avoided Theresa’s boring soirée at the Holloways and am finally free to enjoy a quiet night leading an assassin through Ancient Egypt, so unless a raging fire erupts, I’m not leaving this house.” 

“It's Friday night, Ed! I can’t believe you’d rather play video games instead of going out with us… Didn’t you say you and Annabelle were friends?” 

“I’ve said she was Harry’s friend, and we share a few common interests, but pubs crawl or whatever you folks will be doing is not one of them. Could you please move a bit to the left? You’re blocking the screen...” 

Crossing her arms, she huffed and stepped aside.  

“You complained you’re a twenty-four-year-old that lives a seventy-year-old man’s life and yet I’m inviting you to a night out with fun people and you’d rather stay home…” she shook her head slowly at him. 

“Not tonight, Eliza! Maybe next week I can go out and pretend to be young. But give me a few days’ notice to prepare myself...” 

A light tap on the doorframe and Elizabeth’s face darted to the brunette standing with a wide smile framed by flamming red lips.  

“Lizzy, I hope I’m not interrupting… but Annabelle and Luke texted they’re already there.” 

“I was just saying goodbye to my stepbrother. I don’t think you’ve met, have you?” 

The man sighed, before pausing the game. His gaze slowly moved from the screen and when he turned around to face the friend by the door his jaw almost dropped to the floor. The sight of the woman in black skinny trousers and a burgundy blouse waving at him with the most beautiful smile he has ever seen stole his breath away. 

“Hi, Edmund!”  

“Hi. Hello. You... Ah... Hi,” he mumbled, unable to control the increasing racing of his heart. Is this what a heart attack feels like? he wondered, while brushing his clammy hands against his trousers. 

Conscious of the impact she caused, Briar huffed a quiet laugh and shifted to address her friend. 

“Nice to meet you, Edmund,” she said while shaking his hand. “I hope we meet again.” 

“I am going with you!” he blurted out. 

“You are?” Elizabeth’s head whipped in his direction, and she stared in disbelief as he turned off the game and put the controller down at the coffee table. 

“I just need to go to my room,” he said rising from the armchair and brushing past them, “Five minutes. I’ll meet you by the door.” 

Briar’s eyes followed the man almost running down the hallway, and she giggled. 

“Does it run in the family?” 

With a puzzled look, Elizabeth’s eyes darted to the same direction Briar was staring and she caught a glimpse of Edmund sprinting down the hall, “What does?”  

“Being cute and a dork?”  

October 28th, 2018 – Edgewater – Sometime after the drinking game 

It’s hard to tell when Edmund realized it was not the best idea for an engaged man to go knock on the door of a woman who is not his fiancée. It's even worse to do so in the middle of the night while slightly drunk.

He should’ve taken a cold shower to get rid of the idea that wormed its way into his mind, overshadowing every other thought concocted by his brain.

But he didn’t.

Anyways, he hates cold showers.

Staggering out of his room didn’t clear his mind or brought the realization of how bad that idea was. Crossing the few meters that separated his room from Briar’s door didn’t do it for him either. Not even when he tapped lightly with his knuckles, praying she was already sleeping and wouldn’t hear it - however, even then, his heart was clutching at the hope she would. So that was not that enlightenment moment either.

When the door slightly cracked open to allow visual confirmation of the night visitor, Edmund took a deep steadying breath, but it did little to stop his hands from shaking.

A moment later, Briar leaned against the doorframe smiling at him with such warmth that it was impossible not to think she cherished him. Maybe the only woman who ever did. And that was the moment he realised it was either the most brilliant move or his worst idea ever. Still, he once more was torn between the options. 

Playing with a long lock of her hair, her gaze lingered on his face, and she asked with a smile, “Trouble sleeping?” 

“I need to talk. To get this out of my chest. Can I come in?” 

Masking her surprise with another smile, she nodded and moved to the side, no questions asked. 

That was their thing, wasn’t it? Heart to heart conversations in the middle of the night... Only this time, he would also see her face while talking... and maybe he would find the answers he wishes. 

The man zigzagged until his knee bumped in the bed, and he slumped on the mattress. Giggling, she closed the door.

“You’re sloshed, Eddie!” her giggles fanned his face when she sat on the bed beside him and helped him sit up.   

“I’m certainly not. How dare you imply – No, I’m utterly sloshed. I can’t even pretend I’m not.” He let out a heartfelt laughter, and she used a hand to cover his mouth and shush him.  

His clear blue eyes crinkled with a smile. The gentle touch of her hand and the proximity of their bodies made his heart race. It was a shame this blurriness prevented him from seeing her eyes more clearly and the natural form of her lips without any lipstick. But he could tell he loved them nonetheless.

“Quiet or you’ll wake everyone up,” she hissed, but there was no edge on her voice, while her hand slowly retreated. “What do you want to talk about?” 

“You’re beautiful,” he sighed, and a tentative hand reached out to rest on Briar’s cheek, who didn’t flinch. “The most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Even more, when I’m sober, because I can really see you... You’re a bit blurred now... and I can’t see your eyes... and I adore your eyes… they are so… so… intense… and warm... and kind... But my mind already knows you’re beautiful. Inside too. Not your insides... insides... like your guts... but your mind and your heart –” He stopped talking when she failed to stifle her giggles.  

“You’re laughing at me!” he mumbled, and pulled his hand away. 

Trying to stifle her giggles, she tried to remedy the situation, placing her hand on his bouncing knee when his uneasiness drove him to the edge of the mattress. She wasn’t certain if she wanted him to stay, but she didn’t want him to leave yet.

“Was that the urgent matter you needed to ‘get out of your chest’?” she questioned with a soft voice, matching the proximity shared. His attention immediately returned to her, and a timid smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. 

“No, but your beauty is too distracting…” There was a lilt of laughter in his tone, and his fingers combed his ash blonde hair back and rested at the nape of his neck.  

“I won’t apologise for that,” she huffed a laugh, and her cheeks were noticeable darker from blushing because of his words, and this alone almost sobered him up.  

Edmund leaned forward, closing the gap between them, and his breath carried the scent of mint flavoured toothpaste mixed with a hint of liquor – more than a hint, actually.  

She suspected the liquor fuelled this unexpected audacity, considering how shy and restrained he was during their ride this afternoon; however, if asked, he would say this was all about her, her presence was intoxicating, and his self-control reached its limit tonight. 

Her breath hitched when his hand touched her cheek this time. Closing her eyes, she revelled on the feather light touch of his thumb caressing her velvety skin, following a path towards her mouth. When he traced the curves of her lips, it quietened everything else but her thunderous heartbeats. 

Her tongue was emptied, no flirty or funny words ready to fly away... In fact, every brain cell was screaming for her to shut up and kiss him; and his were probably doing the same, considering the way his hooded eyes fixed on her mouth when he leaned even closer. Without any warning, he bowed until his lips were a hair’s breadth away from hers. Their gazes locked for a second that lasted an eternity, a silent dialogue between their yearnings.  

The pull of her luscious lips became so irresistible.  

Waiting for permission, his lips ghosted hers and they were so close he could almost taste her exhales. 

Briar said nothing, licked her lips and closed the gap.

At first, his lips touched hers delicately, then more insistently when his hand slid to the back of her neck and brought their faces closer. It was awkward for a few seconds, too much tension, noses bumping and eyes wide open staring at the other; until her hands cradled his cheeks and gently tilted his head to adjust his position.  

This was enough to make it more and more enjoyable. Her lips glided over his, and when she captured his lower lip between hers, he let out a barely audible gasp. And she made a mental note about his reaction.  

More confident, one of his hands caressed her knee while the fingers on the one nestled on the nape of her neck delved into her hair, eliciting goosebumps and she let out a sigh.

The moment he parted his lips, allowing their tongues to meet for the first time, it felt as if the sole purposes of their lips and tongues were to kiss one another.  

When she pulled away to try and catch her breath, his lips followed hers, and she smiled to herself satisfied, both hands cradling his face.  

Meanwhile, Edmund’s entire body tingled, and there was a pleasant warmth enveloping him, as if being swaddled by a duvet someone else warmed just for you.

Looking at her, his brain buzzed with a swarm of thoughts. Did he drink too much or was there really something different about kissing Briar? A spark. An energy. A connection. 

“Did you feel it too? Tell me I’m not bloody crazy…” he asked, leaning his forehead to touch hers. 

“I’m not a psychiatrist, Eddie… but I think you lost your mind. I definitely did, too.” 

With a huff, his head tilted back, and before another loud laughter escaped his mouth, she covered it with her hand. This time, he grabbed it and kissed her palm gently, and her eyes fluttered close. 

“We’re both too sloshed for this...” 

“I can’t… I can’t think of anything else. Only you, Briar.” 

Hearing those words was bittersweet. It was exactly what she hoped for, but not like this. Not a drunk confession. And especially not after spending time with Theresa and knowing she’s oblivious to their flirting and growing affection. And now they’re kissing while she sleeps! 

“You shouldn’t say things like that...” she chided, “Your fiancée is asleep somewhere... over there...” Her free hand pointed randomly at the wall beside them, and he grimaced.  

“This has nothing to do with her… let’s pretend for a moment I’m not engaged.”  

Frowning, she pulled her hand from his grasp.  

“What a nasty thing to say!”  

“Briar,” Edmund called her name, his voice softer and more slurred, but she didn’t look back at him and pushed his chest. “I told you, Theresa and I… that is not real… she doesn’t love me either… she loves… loved… somebody else… not me… but you and I… I –”  

“Is she aware of how you feel? Because the engagement seems pretty real to her! She showed me pictures of bloody wedding dresses!” 

Edmund’s hand rubbed his face, and he exhaled loudly.  

“If you’re here for a one nightstand, just... own it! Don’t sweet talk me...” 

“Briar, I think – not think, I know… I fell for you.” 

Slack jawed, she gaped, and it took her a few breaths to find the words again. “Eddie… You shouldn’t say that either. You do have a fiancée and you’re sloshed… I know you’ll regret everything tomorrow... and leave me heartbroken.” 

“Never. You got me head over heels… I’m yours.” 

Briar’s face tilted upwards, and she stared at the ceiling for a long moment and let out a loud frustrated exhale. If cupid was a real thing, she would murder hers slowly and painfully. 

“Why are you doing this to me?” she muttered under her breath. 

“Is it Woods?” 

“Arthur?” Her head whipped to look at him. “What does Arthur have to do with this mess?” 

“Do you love him?” 

“I-” she paused and pressed her lips together. “I could... eventually... but not when... because of this..." Her finger pointed back and forward at them. 

There was too much satisfaction in hearing those words, and he let out a relieved sigh. 

“You feel it too?” he asked, and his voice was barely above a whisper. 

“What if I do? Does it change anything?” 

Edmund tentatively touched her face and guided her eyes to look back at him. “It changes all!”

“How?” she asked, but immediately changed her mind and waved her hands. “Please, don’t tell me... or... I’ll believe you.” 

“Believe me.” 

He pulled her in for another kiss, and all the fight left her when his tongue swirled with hers. He was already leaning to push her down on the mattress, but she pushed him back.

“No more kissing.” Out of breath, Briar placed a hand on his chest to put some distance between them and held her head high. “Talk. Tell me what you’ll do. I won’t be anyone's playtoy.”

Edmund obediently complied. It felt invigorating to make plans for his own future without consulting with his mother first, and especially plans that included Briar. They talked some more and kissed one last time before sleep claimed their eyes sometime before dawn.

Briar's face was the last thing he saw before his eyes fluttered close, and he thought that was heavenly.

A persistent buzzing noise invaded Elizabeth’s dreamless sleep, almost like the sounds of cicadas in scorching summer nights demanding the world’s attention to their performance. Answering the compelling call, her eyes fluttered open, but it was the same as if they didn’t. Surrounded by darkness, the coldness kissing her feet that escaped from underneath the duvet reminded her it wasn’t summer. She immediately pulled it, rubbing the cold feet against the mattress.  

While her body reluctantly woke up and her brain regained consciousness, she was confronted by confusion and immense discomfort all at once, reminders of the insane amount of alcohol she ingested last night.  

Her head ached as if samba percussionists were beating repeatedly their instruments out of cadence to punish her. The parchedness in her mouth seemed like she had wandered the desert for days. Trying to alleviate it, her lips parted, but her mouth had dried out and it was difficult to swallow and get rid of the disgusting taste sitting on her tongue.  

The buzzing sound echoed again, attacking her ears, and she realized it was probably the mobile vibrating with incoming messages over the nightstand. Even though she wondered what time it was, the identity of the caller or texter and their reasons to be trying to reach her in what she assumed was the middle of the night didn’t pique her interest at all, if anything it riled her up for disturbing her rest. Mustering the strength to reach the nightstand to turn off the phone, she tried to roll over, but something blocked her path and restrained her motion. Not something, but someone. 

In the dark she couldn’t rely on her sight, but her other senses worked perfectly, collecting information of quiet sounds of breathing behind her, the light pressure of a body against her back, and the arm she finally noticed dangling over her waist underneath the covers. And lastly, the fragrance that reached her nostrils was unmistakable. 

“Hamid?” her voice sounded hoarse in the quiet room, almost unrecognisable.  

The body stirred, and he hummed his response. His warm breath fanned her neck, and if she wasn’t so overwhelmed, she would have enjoyed it. 

Why are you in my bed, dude? The question died in her tongue, but not the surprise stirred by his presence. 

“Do you need to go to the toilette again?” his sleepy voice reached her ears.  

Again? When did I even go to the toilet?  

Her mind raced, trying to cling to any memory that could explain Hamid sleeping on her bed. But she found none. Maybe she should take the hint, get up, go to the toilet, wash her face, and drink some water. And definitely get some aspirins before her head explodes, and something for the burning stomach and nausea too. And maybe if she feels better, she will remember. 

“I’m thirsty,” she said fighting the dryness of her mouth. 

His arm retreated, and his hand lightly brushed the skin of her abdomen, and soon was gone, but not the goosebumps on its wakening.   

“The glass is empty, but if you give me a minute, I’ll get you some more…”  

“Don’t worry. I’ll get up…” she said without moving to get off the bed right away.  

His weight shifted in the mattress. Hamid rubbed his eyes and stretched his arm aimlessly until his fingers reached the switch in the wall. The room was flooded by bright light.  

“Turn it off, please!” she squealed scrunching her eyelids. Her hands flew to her eyes, mostly because of the bright lights, and only partially because of the brief sight of his bare torso. “Why are you shirtless? Are you naked?” 

“Don’t you remember?”  

“I-I don’t…” 

“Allah Allah, I thought that was memorable...” 

The pacing of the tiny percussionists inside her brain grew even faster and stronger, and her heart joined the rhythm.  

“What are you talking about?” she dared ask with a strangled voice. 

“The re-enactment of the projectile vomit scene from the Exorcist,” he said very slowly, and realization dawned on her. 

“Oh, my god! I puked? On you?”  

“Fortunately, you had asked me to take you to the toilette, and my t-shirt was the target and not my face.” 

“I puked on you?” she repeated, shocked by the idea. 

What the flying fudge cracker! That's a whole new level of stupidity, isn’t it? Why did I drink this much? 

“I’m so sorry!” she mumbled, hiding her face in her hands. “That’s so gross… I-I… Sorry.”  

She wanted to run away and hide forever, but her body was so tensed it froze. 

“Hey,” he said softly, but she didn’t uncover her eyes. After calling her name, his hand reached one of hers, which she reluctantly let him grab – she couldn’t understand why on earth he was anywhere near her.

“It’s okay, Liz. You did nothing wrong.” 

“I’m pretty sure that’s untrue... I’m mortified... What else do I have to apologise for?” 

“Don’t worry, aside from the vomiting and being horny and handsy, drunk Liz makes delightful company...”

The joke did little to lessen her embarrassment. How can he be so chill about it? 

“What do you mean by ‘handsy’?” 

“You tried to kiss me and grab my butt.” 

“What? I would never!” she protested, knowing well enough that she prefers his sculpted torso and arms to his bottom, even though it has a nice round shape... And she's clearly still a bit horny. 

“You also took ‘no’ for an answer, which was remarkably respectful.” 

She let an exasperated huff through her mouth and pressed her hands against her face. “I can’t have this conversation now...” 

“We can revisit it some other time, I’ll gladly share the details.” 

“How about never?” 

Smiling, he sat straighter and lighted the lamp on the nightstand. His eyes, cleared of sleep, stared directly at hers, “Drinking like that is unusual to you, I understand. And you don’t have to feel embarrassed about what happened.” 

“That’s impossible...” she sighed and looked at him, wondering what else she has said and done. “Just to clarify, you’re not naked…” 

“No, I’m not. And I’d never cross that line. You were drunk and asked me to stay, and I did. To keep you company. That’s all.” 

Relief washed over her, and she smiled. “Thanks. For not… you know… and for sticking around.”  

“Don’t mention it. Someone had to hold your hair up, prevent you from dancing and falling on your magnificent bottoms, and bumping your head on the furniture.”  

“Oh, God! It did happen then!” Hamid nodded. “Is that why my head hurts?” Her fingers raked her hair, searching for any sign of a bump.  

“I’m pretty sure that’s the alcohol.” 

“What time is it?” 

He picked his mobile in the nightstand. “7:45.” Stealing a sideway glance at her worried face, his finger caressed the back of her hand, and he asked softly, “Are you sure you don’t want me to get you something to drink? Annabelle brought a bottle of isotonic drink. And I can get you something to eat…”  

“I – No, I’m fine now. Even thinking about food makes me sick… I’ll go to the... you know… and you... go back to sleep. Excuse me.” 

Hamid let go of her hand, and Elizabeth rolled to the opposite side of the bed, moving away from him, and not looking back even when she felt his stare. She swung her legs touching the carpet and noticed both her socks were gone. Her feet were heavy, just like the rest of her body, and she dragged them on her way to the en-suite. The touch of the frigid floor against the soles of her feet, caused her to shiver, and she mentally cursed not putting on the slippers. 

Closing the door, she barely had the time to turn on the light before her legs started giving away underneath her. Pressing her hands against the cool marble of the sink to support her weight, she avoided stumbling or collapsing to the floor. Performing every little task took too much energy, and she almost gave up on washing her face, but the invigorating cold water gave her the necessary boost to continue. By the time she took the toothbrush to her mouth, she needed to sit down. Flopping down into the wooden bench near the bathtub, she noticed Hamid’s white t-shirt soaked-wet dangling over the rim of the tub, and two pairs of socks hanging on the faucet.  

Suddenly, a panicked Hamid kneeling on the floor in front of her, begging her to keep her eyes open flashed before her eyes; was it a memory or her imagination? 

Her hand barely moved to brush her teeth, and her heavy eyelids were impossible to keep open with all the light around her. She would close them for one second, maybe two.  

The sound of the toothbrush falling and hitting the floor didn’t wake her up, but she couldn’t ignore the soft but persistent rapping on the door. 

“Liz,” Hamid asked softly, “are you alright?” 

Her hand rubbed the foam from her lips and chin, and she picked up the toothbrush from the floor. “I’m fine,” she replied getting up, and the movement made her dizzy. Slowly moving back to the sink, she heard him speaking again.  

“You’ve been in there for a very long time…” 

“I’m brushing my teeth.” 

She washed her mouth, took another gulp of tap water, and tied her hair in a high bun.

When she opened the door, Hamid was standing there, leaning against the doorframe with a worried look. It surprised her that he didn’t go back to sleep or to his own room. 

“How are you, really?” he asked, carefully speaking in a low tone that wouldn’t be uncomfortable considering the aftereffects of the alcohol.  

“I brushed my teeth, but my mouth still tastes like a smelly old brolly –” 

Hamid chuckled and it eased the frown of his brows. “That’s very specific. How do you even know what it tastes like?” 

“My mind does,” she sighed. “My head hurts. My stomach is on fire, and I could drink a bucket of water. And mostly I’m feeling incredibly dumb for drinking this much again...” And puking on you. 

“For now, we can take care of the head and stomach.” 

Walking past her, Hamid crouched and opened a door of the cabinet under the sink. With familiarity, he produced a white box with a red cross painted at the top from the first shelf and took a bottle of antacids and another of aspirins, both were placed on the sink in front of her.  

With a grimace she drank the liquid as instructed and the pill sat bitterly on her tongue while she waited for him to come back with the bottle of Gatorade.

Watching her swig half of the content of the bottle without stopping to breath, an amused smile parted his lips. 

“And for the dumbness –” 

“You’ll keep mocking me endlessly and not let me forget it...” her tongue was quicker and sharper than his ever would, and she huffed in frustration, letting her shoulders slump. 

“Why would I do that?” he asked softly, brows knitted together while trying to meet her gaze. 

She pursed her lips and said nothing in return. Shame taking over, her eyes focused on anything else but his face.  

“A word from you and I’ll never speak about tonight. A joke is not worth it, if it causes you pain. You can expect nothing but understanding from me. Like I said before, I truly believe you deserve kindness, hayatım[1], and not more criticism.”  

Her eyes flicked from her folded hands to his eyes, his expression changing from one of concern to a more relaxed one while he reminisced about the night before.  

“Last night, you have laughed, joked and been the most open around a group of people since I met you. You looked happy, truly happy. Relaxed. And that wasn’t just the alcohol. You were in a safe place and let your guard down. I agree drinking this much isn’t good for you... But why shaming yourself? Why not learning from it instead? You can’t change anything that happened, but you can make different choices in the future, if you desire, no? And if you don’t, I’ll hold your hair up again.” 

There was so much empathy in his tone that if she wasn’t so dehydrated, her eyes would be watering. She mouthed a soundless thank you and he inched closer. 

Standing behind her, he gently squeezed her shoulders, and they looked at each other’s reflections in the mirror.  

Instead of the pink plaid PJs, she was sporting a long sleeved green one with no buttons, and she wondered if Hamid was the one who changed it.  

As if reading her mind, he said softly, “Annabelle changed your clothes, after we cleaned you up.” 

“I must thank her later.” 

That was the first time she truly looked at herself.  

The reflection looking back at her was pale, her usual tan had completely vanished these past months; smudged eyeliner and dark stains of mascara accentuated the dark circles under her reddened eyes, which seemed smaller due to the puffy eyelids. She looked spent. The entangled hair had been pulled into a messy bun at the top of her head, and a few shorter curls had escaped the imposed restraint, sticking out close to her ears and neck. All in all, she was a complete mess while Hamid looked unfairly handsome with slightly flattened bed hair, the shadow of a beard and a big smile that caused the corners of his eyes to wrinkle; somehow, despite the vomiting, and deprivation of sleep she imposed him, there was so much adoration in his eyes that even in her current state was impossible to miss. 

“Hamid, can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course.” 

“Why are you here?” 

“Why are we all here, Liz? Isn’t that the fundamental Philosophical question?” 

“Silly,” she chided, and his chuckle was so very close to her ear when he leaned forward that raised all the hair in her body and fogged her brain for a while.

“You know what I mean! You could be sleeping tight in your bed right now... instead, you spent the night taking care of my dumb drunk arse... when you had no obligation to.” 

“I like your cute dumb drunk arse...” He winked, and she rolled her eyes. 

“I’m serious.” 

“So am I! I’m a fan.”

Chuckling, Hamid hugged her from behind, his arms wrapped around her waist, and he rested his chin on her shoulder. “Someone needed to hold your hair, and let’s say I know what it feels to be so utterly sloshed and not having anyone to look after me.” 

“You do?”  

He hummed. His breath fanned the bare skin of her neck.  

“But I won’t bother you with such an inane story. Let’s get you to bed.” 

“I wouldn’t mind listening to it...”  

His lips twitched, possibly surprised by the request, and he looked at her reflection in the mirror for a long moment, the way she hid a yawn against a palm, but still tried to keep her eyes focused on him. 

“Maybe some other time...” he replied while gently turning her around, but keeping her in the circle of his embrace, “You look about ready to fall asleep in my arms... not that I’d ever complain about that….” He winked at her, very flirty, in that Hamid-like fashion that makes her knees weak, and even though it wasn't far from the truth, she recognized the diversion right there in his words.

“I like a good bedtime story...” she said softly, tilting her face up to meet his gaze over her shoulder, “And your voice...” She might’ve learned a thing or two about charming someone with him.

“Then how could I not humour you?”

Smiling, Hamid helped her sit on the bed and pulled the covers over her legs, and she remained sitting, looking expectantly.

In the dimly lit room, Hamid sat in front of her, legs crossed, took a deep breath and broke the silence.

“I only got really sloshed a handful of times... My sisters took care of me, helped me hide it from my parents... But one time, it happened during a trip with friends... We went to Amsterdam for the weekend to celebrate my 19th birthday. Most of my memories are fogged... You must have seen what happens to six lads with loads of cash partying at Amsterdam...” 

“I actually never been there...” 

“Haven’t you? I must take you there. It's lovely in the spring.” 

His fingers reached her hand, and his thumb was very distractingly caressing the back of her hand, following the paths of green veins till her wrist and back. Another distraction, she realized. Caressing the back of his hand with her free hand in return, she asked, “What happened to you?” 

He hummed, and she suspected he was carefully choosing the words to continue. 

“Everything went brilliant until the night before our flight... We went clubbing and met these girls, very friendly, seniors at uni, gorgeous… and had us wrapped around their fingers.” He chuckled. “We followed them like puppies to another club and to another... By the time we got to the third one, I was so wasted, I could barely stand on my own, but I didn’t want to admit it and go back to the hotel... So, my friend Lewis stayed with me, but while he was away hitting on one of the girls or whatever… I don’t know… I guess I accepted a pill that was definitely not aspirin…” 

“Someone drugged you?” her voice shrieked, piercing her own brain, and she looked at his face over her shoulder, and he clicked his tongue. 

“Nobody was sober at that point, and I probably said I was cool with it...” Hamid paused at her concerned expression and tried to explain, “The day before, I tried space cake and smoked a little hashishe... anyway... It was a harmless experience. We laughed for hours sitting at the grass...” 

“But you were already drunk! You couldn’t consent!” Elizabeth snapped, head racing with all the legal issues this story poses. This was the sort of thing she worried about whenever going our to clubs and parties and one of the reasons she was vigilant with her and her friends’ drinks, and to hear something like that happened to Hamid not in theory made her chest tight, even though he sounded so nonchalant about it.

Hamid’s shoulders raised almost to his ears, and he let out a deep breath; the smile faltered a little and his expression transformed entirely.

Was he regretting telling me?

“Sorry,” she said, shaking her head, “I’m doing it again...” 

“It’s alright.” He intertwined his fingers with hers. “Maybe I should stop, so you can sleep.” 

She shook her head, widening her eyes to fight the sleep.

“I woke up at the hospital. Someone had found me lying on a bench at Oosterpark and called emergency. I had no documents, no coat, and no shoes... It was winter. My clothes were drenched from the rain…” 

“Wow... that's... you could have died...” Elizabeth pointed out the obvious, and instantly regretted it.

“Trust me, I know. The doctor gave me a long and detailed speech about hypothermia. And drugs. And unprotected sex, even though I don’t remember even kissing anybody… They poked me with needles, ran tests and gave me some pills just in case…”  

“Dude…” Elizabeth muttered but stopped before any of the concerns bubbling in her brain escaped again.  

He looked expectantly, but she didn’t know what to say. Taking a deep breath, she struggled to shut down that voice in her mind whispering judgmental and useless advice about something that happenend to him years ago, and listened to her heart. Pushing the covers aside, she moved on the bed and sat on the balls of her feet right in front of him.

“I – I’m sorry this happened to you,” she said softly and genuinely, and his expression eased when no chiding came out of her mouth.  

“I’m not,” he said, and the smile was back on his face. “Almost dying in such a stupid way had positive outcomes.” 

She gaped. “How can you see a bright side in this story, Hamid?” 

“There is always a silver lining,” he said with a familiar cheerful tone, but still soft enough not to bring her discomfort. “First, I realized I didn’t like drinking that much or getting hungover… I dance better, and my jokes are funnier when I’m sober. And from that day on, I’m an advocate of remembering the things I do and not losing my passport. So, I decided not to drink. Unless it is raki with babam and dedem[2]. Second, I don’t know if I’ll live a short or long life; but I can choose how to live my best life, with no regrets, appreciating the beauties, welcoming the joys... and obviously, adrenaline rushing through my veins fuels me!” He looked pointedly at her, and she remembered the incident with the horse. 

“Not with disregard to my safety,” he let out the words with a chuckle, holding her hands in his. “And, when my time comes, hopefully it won’t be blacked out drunk in a park bench...”

She held his hands tighter, as if possible to shield him from such a fate with sheer will. 

“I hope your learning process included finding a better group of friends,” she mumbled, and he chuckled.  

“Don’t be so hard, güzelim[3]. They are good people. At the time, we were too young and sheltered… mortality was not part of our vocabulary.”  

How incredible it must be to be so careless and not have this sort of concern!  

That was never the case for her.  

Death and sickness have been her companions in life for so long that her identity is linked to those grim subjects. In the past five years, no decision in her life has been made without considering either of them. Letting out a long and loud sigh, she pondered how different they were in so many more ways than she first assumed.  

“Gosh, if it were me… I’d…” she trailed off, and he jumped in to complete her sentence, “You wouldn’t leave me alone.” 

Lowering her gaze, but unable to control the blush that bloomed in her cheeks, she admitted he was right and that she wouldn’t leave him alone. 

“However,” she added, “I was going to say that if I were you, I’d never want to see those people again! How could they leave you like that? What sort of friend does that?” Her indignation transpired in her tone and disgusted face. 

“I don’t blame them. It wasn’t their responsibility to take care of me... I’m responsible for my choices, good or bad.”  

Meeting his eyes, there was no shame in them, on the contrary, Hamid’s countenance expressed relief. Noticing the attentive gaze studying him, he smiled. 

“I never spoke about any of this; not even to my sisters.” 

“Why not?” 

“They would gang up on me, obviously… and everything turned out alright. My friend Burak found my coat at the club, my passport and mobile were in the pocket... A happy ending.” 

She watched his face and the wide and bright smile directed at her. 

“You didn’t need to tell me either, so, why did you?” 

“There’s a simple explanation for that,” he said, a knowing smile playing on his lips. “In case you haven’t noticed, you are very special to me, Elizabeth Foredale, and I want you to know me. The real me. Isn’t this what people do? To get to know each other?” 

Even in the low light, his eyes were shining. His gaze could be described with many words, none of which was a synonym for friendly.

Touched by his words and without giving herself time to change her mind, Elizabeth’s hand cradled his jaw, and her lips touched his dimpled cheek in a gentle but lingering kiss.

After a fraction of a second to overcome the surprise, Hamid revelled on it, letting his eyes flutter closed to fully appreciate the gentleness of her touch, and his lips stretched into a wide grin.

It was nothing like the fleeting air kisses they often share. 

Before she considered ending the kiss, his hand covered hers, keeping it in place.

The alchool had drained her body, but right now every nerve was suddenly alight by his presence, by the warm touch of his hand on top of hers.

His eyes fluttered open to meet hers in a sidelong glance. They knew. They had crossed the line. They were no longer in friends’ territory. And, for the first time, she let herself want more, ignoring the boundary she herself tried to place between them.

She got greedy. 

When her lips slowly but steadily glided over the roughness of the slight growth of beard of his unshaved face to the turned corner of his smile, Hamid let out a soft exhale through his nose. The warmth of the air travelled over the skin of her hand and wrist inflaming her entirely, and her heartbeats sped up.

Taking a deep breath, her lungs were filled with Hamid's fancy perfume. It was intoxicating in an unexpected way: it quietened the entire world. Actually it quietened her mind. For once, her brain was entirely focused on this moment and all the overwhelming feelings Hamid stirred on her.

Any hesitancy slipped away at the sight of his tongue moistening his lips. And that was the last thing her eyes registered. Her brain could no longer focus on anything that was not Hamid's lips smoothly moving over hers.

His lips were very soft, incredibly so against her own. They brushed against hers for a brief quiet moment, but it was enough to irradiate a heat, an electricity throughtout her body. It was like a dam breaking, and she was flooded with so much want. The second time her lips brushed against his, she was certain this wasn't like any kiss she had before.

She pulled away enough to gaze into his eyes, the corners crinkled by an adoringly smile; even such a diminute distance seemed unbearable to Hamid, and his hand cupped her cheek to close the distance between their mouths almost entirely.

The tip of his long curved nose brushed against the tip of hers, and she could hear the smile in his voice when he said her name in awe, even with her eyes closed. His thumb brushed her lips, and butterflies fluttered in her stomach.

In her mind, Elizabeth envisioned more than once where and when their first kiss could happen. It always envolved a perfect romantic scenario, careful planning, fancy dinners and Hamid probably literally sweeping her off her feet. However, the reality was unplanned, and her brain might have short-circuited at some point... There's not even a carefully selected soundtrack playing in the background, just the sounds of their breathing and the pitter-patter of rain.

Yet, nothing could be more perfect than the way his lips welcomed hers. Her fantasies couldn’t compete with the reality of the tenderness of every gesture of his, the pressure of his lips, the light touch of his tongue over her lower lip, or the hand cupping her cheek so very gently.

When Elizabeth pulled back, his nose nuzzled her jaw and down her neck, and she gasped. The sound pleased Hamid, who hummed against her jaw and captured her lips one last time.

Her eyes met his briefly, but she quickly lowered her face, overcame by embarrassment and doubts of what to do or say.

The backs of his fingers caressed her cheek, and he whispered, “I could kiss you forever, Liz.”  

When her eyes raised to meet his, Hamid was already staring at her. His gaze could be described with many words, none amongst them was a synonym for friendly, and she rolled her lips inside her mouth.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” 

She shook her head, and took a deep calming breath.

“You make me feel many things,” -- happy, giddy, confused, excited... and several other she'd be mortified to admit even to herself... -- “’Uncomfortable’ is not one of them.” 

His lips split into the widest grin she’s ever seen, before he swallowed and asked in a low and husky voice, “Care to tell me how I make you feel now?”  

“Right now?” Her lips rolled inside her mouth, and she focused on the feeling of being in his arms earlier. Except for her dear father, she can’t remember feeling safer around a man nor willing to spend a lifetime in an embrace. “Happy. Safe.” 

“I am glad you do. I want you to trust me.” 

She met his stare again, and he was flashing a broad unabashed smile. They didn’t move an inch, staring into each other's eyes. Was she even breathing? She couldn’t be certain she was. 

“Aren’t you curious about how you make me feel?”  

His question startled her. Of course, she wanted to know that, but how could she speak over the thunderous beating of her heart and risking dozens of butterflies flying away if she opened her mouth, like in the Brazilian soap operas with magical realism she used to watch with her mother as a kid. She pursed her lips and nodded, which was enough for him to carry on. 

“You also make me feel many emotions, Liz. The most frequent is happiness. A complete, perfect and unwavering bliss whenever I am around you. And even when we’re not together… My days are more vibrant since you are in my life…” 

“Even after tonight?”  

“Why would tonight change anything?” 

“Aren’t you even a little upset? Tired?” 

“Tired?” He clicked his tongue. Leaning impossibly closer, he whispered into her ear, “Inşallah[4], someday you’ll see how long I can keep going without any sleep...” When Elizabeth shivered, the pleased smirk in his lips indicated that was the intended effect, and he rubbed his hands against her arms. “However, you, my dear, seriously need to rest.” 

“Actually, father wanted to have breakfast with me and after brunch I promised to go with Annabelle and Briar to this spa at Moorfield and –” 

“As much as I believe you to be an overachiever, you need to rest, Liz,” he cut off the flood of words. “Besides, the last Annabelle checked on you was around 4am... So, trust me on this, go back to bed, we won’t see any of them before lunch. And message your father, tell him you have a minor headache and will be staying in your room until you feel better…”  

Elizabeth listened to his reasoning and bit one thumbnail. Judging by the way she looked, no amount of coffee would keep her functional long enough to perform any social activity. Finally, she gave in to the irresistible call of the bed.  

Hamid went to the en-suite, while she typed the message to her father, ignoring the stinging feeling in her stomach, that could be guilty from skipping breakfast with him or due to the hole the alcohol probably burnt there. But Hamid was right, it was past the time to prioritize her needs, even if it meant disappointing others. 

After texting her friends, she was about to go through the several notifications in the screen, when the en-suite door opened and closed. Hamid’s silhouette strolling toward the soft light of the bedroom was all broad shoulders and strong arms. Over the screen of the mobile, her gaze fixed at him, admiring his confident swagger towards her.  

The blue light from the screen denounced her attempt of appreciating the sight inconspicuously, and Hamid grinned at the attention but for once chose to say nothing about it. 

When he turned around to settle the medicines and a glass of water over the nightstand, Elizabeth admired his taut muscles, and noticed the dimples on his lower back right above the waist band of his jeans. Her fingers craved to map every inch of his uncovered skin, and the thought alone sent a flow of heat all over her body. She forced her eyes back to the screen and turned the airplane mode on before putting the mobile away.  

Leaning forward, he touched the side of her face gently and kissed the top of her head. 

“I think you’re all set,” he whispered against her hair, “I’ll let you sleep now.” 

“You’re leaving?” her tone didn’t conceal the surprise and disappointment. 

“Don’t you want me to go?” 

“I-I wouldn’t mind… If you wanted to... stay... it’s a big bed…” She fidgeted with the hem of the shirt, without raising her gaze to meet his, and couldn't find the right words to speak, and stuttered the ones she found, even if they didn't make sense, “It doesn’t... mean that we... anything... I guess... but you don’t have to go. If you don’t want to.” 

“I understand," he said, smiling to himself. "If I stay, do we get to cuddle like before?” 

She swallowed and couldn’t prevent the smile from curling her lips whem she nodded.  

Without another word, he sat on the bed.

She moved aside to give him space, and went under the covers, lying on her back. The fragrance of his perfume on the pillows was inebriating.

When the mattress shifted with his weight, she took a deep breath. The lights were dimmed to their softest glow and a moment later, Hamid was lying beside her on his back, stirring the flutter of thousands of butterflies in her stomach. 

He stretched one arm, adjusted the pillow over it, and, with a nod of his head, invited her to rest her head.

Elizabeth obliged, moving closer and let her head rest in the pillow. Hamid's arm encircled her waist, he kissed her temple and whispered in her ear, “Sleep tight, Liz!”

Her answer was an almost inaudible “You too, Hamid.”

In Hamid's embrace, Morpheus visited Elizabeth unsurprisingly fast, not giving her any time for second guessing her decisions.  

A familiar melody invaded his dreamless sleep and Edmund stirred in the bed, failing to recognize his whereabouts.  

The mattress shifted when the woman sleeping beside him turned around, facing the other way. Flashes from their conversation and kisses invaded his mind, but were soon chased away by the persistent melody getting louder.

His hand patted his pants first, and then the space between them until he found the mobile that slipped from his pocket.  

It was dark and he could barely open his sleepy eyes, but he would recognize the caller’s picture anywhere.  

His gaze flicked to the black hair sprawled over the duvet, and he jumped out of the bed, instinctively shying away from the incriminating scene. Moving closer to the wall, he coughed twice, clearing his throat, before accepting the call, and prayed for silence. 

“Hello, mother,” he spoke in the lowest but clearest tone possible trying not to wake the woman in bed. 

“Let me talk to Theresa,” the woman barked the order, forgetting any rule of politeness – not that she reserved that kind of curtesy to her eldest son, especially not after he became the only one. 

“She’s currently not...” Edmund stuttered and considered what to answer. “We’re not together... at the moment. I was sleeping.” 

“She’s not with you!” The woman muttered something under her breath he could only assume were not compliments about his fiancée’s competence to follow orders. “Find her. And have her call me. Immediately.” 

“Alright, mother. I’ll let her know you –” 

Before he could finish the sentence, the call ended.  

The conscience of where he was standing and with whom and the possibility of a scandal was enough to force out of his body any sleep. A last longingly gaze focused on the woman sleeping before he cautiously sneaked out of the bedroom. This was just the beginning.

Notes:

[1] Hayatım – Turkish – term of endearment that means “my life” or “my dear or darling” in this context. 

[2] Babam and dedem – Turkish – father and grandfather. 

[3] Güzelim – Turkish – mean “my beautiful”. 

[4] Inşallah – In Turkish, the word inşallah or inşaallah means "If God wishes and grants" 

[respectthepetty]

Be my favorite has got me. I’m down the rabbit hole as it were. I didn’t mean to be here, I fell and I refuse to get out of said hole.

Also….. Is this the first time I am seeing a characters growth and story through self realisation without the love interest?

Like Peesaang went on this journey from seeing the two men kissing in the club, going to the bar, going to see Max, and really taking the time with his feelings. I loved it!!!!!!

Not the ‘ I don’t like men, I just like you’ like….. A to the Men (amen) am I right?!

I'm going to be honest with myself - I've been in this hole since 2021. The initial 2021 trailer (with MIKE!) told me Be My Favorite was either gonna be a mess or a masterpiece, but I prayed it wouldn't be mediocre, so I am THRILLED that My Strange and Obnoxious Fixation™ has paid off. If the second half hurts us, y'all are going to witness a full grown adult have a meltdown on your dash that could rival one of those badass kids in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, but, so far, IT'S A WIN for me!

And the biggest reason is because of the characters. I am truly invested in JittiRain's evolution here because this is not her norm. I was very prepared for miscommunication, manipulation, and misdeeds, but instead we are getting MAGIC!

I'm sure other shows have done the self-realization journey without it being directly tied to the love interest, but what I'm liking about it here is it just isn't Pisaeng. Usually, the dynamic is one of the leads is pretty solid while the other has to find his way, but both of these guys are figuring it out, and we get to see that evolution. In fact, all the characters are working through their issues.

I read a few posts today of people stating they are feeling better about Kawi now after he showed growth from his initial behavior in the first few episodes. Same with Not. I still dislike that little jerk, but him sending a message to Kawi wishing him good luck was nice to see after he roasted Kawi for trying to find a talent.

Also, Kawi still helped Pisaeng on this journey of self-discovery, but Pisaeng didn't go on this journey to get Kawi. Kawi wasn't treated like the pot of gold at the end of the queer rainbow. Kawi questioned Pisaeng in episode four. He asked Pisaeng why he hadn't been direct about his feelings with Pear. Kawi asked Pisaeng what he was doing when he went in for the kiss. He told Pisaeng to be honest, with himself.

Pisaeng, a guy who believed he was being honest and open, having his actions questioned made him haul ass out of there. Kawi jump-started that reflection.

But Pisaeng is honest and open. He spoke to Pear the next day. He saw the men kissing, and although hesitant, he went to that gay bar. He spoke to Max and decided to confess to Kawi. Then, he returned to the bar.

I hope, and feel, that we are getting the same story from Kawi. He hasn't been honest with himself for a long time, and this statement isn't about queerness. This is about his life in general. However, he doesn't react the same way as Pisaeng. Kawi needs more support. He needs a bigger push. He needs people to guide him. Because for over a decade, Kawi has had nobody and feels like he has nothing.

Pisaeng has known something was wrong with what others believed to be his perfect life, so he was quick to adjust. Kawi has dreamed about what he believed would be his perfect life for at least twelve years, so he is very reluctant to reevaluate the choices he believes will get him that perfect life.

Kawi is doing everything under the guise of getting Pear and more money, but just like Pisaeng, he will have to be honest with himself and realize he is doing all of this because he is extremely lonely. Kawi doesn't need to get laid and get paid; he needs friends.

Both Pisaeng and Kawi need a friend.

And that's what I love about this. You're right! We aren't seeing a story of growth that involves the love interest.

Instead we are seeing stories about change that involve friends.

Because if we are being honest with ourselves, we all need a little help from our friends.

[bagely]

HI! this is a translation of a fanfic I already published in AO3 but, I'm trying to prove myself and write in english, Soo yeah my first lenguaje it's not english is Spanish and because of that this work would have some mistakes 😬 sorry for that I do my best but I'm still just learning, so you can correct me, I would appreciate that.

Oh, and its in Missa's pov

Title: Can I have your number?

Words: 2,009

Ao3 link:

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I walked through the door of the small university café, feeling the warm aroma of coffee fill my senses.

The barista, whose name is Starboby, was very welcoming, and there was nothing strange about her until I saw the bar where someone was preparing coffee with their back turned. I didn't recognize that haircut or the same tone, and I could say that with certainty since I had worked part-time at this place many times before.

«It seems like Roier has hired someone new» I thought, as I didn't recognize any of Roier's blonde friends. There weren't many people in the place, it was still very early. I adjusted my hair, which was longer than usual and a bit uncomfortable.

I walked confidently to the bar, and the barista turned around when she heard my steps and stood in front of me, several meters away. I stopped instantly.

"Oh, I didn't hear you," he said with a warm and cheerful voice while smiling at me. "Do you need anything?"

He was gathering some hair into a ponytail, and her deep blue eyes stirred something within me.

«WHY IS HE SO HANDSOME» I started feeling my heart stop or perhaps start beating so fast that I couldn't measure it myself.

"Uhm... I...just–" I was trying to forced myself to talk. I took a step back and said, "uh... I forgot something... I, uhm... goodbye"

Did I run away or walk very fast? I don't know, the point is that I was already two blocks away from that café. I slap myself.

«Missa, why do you always embarrass yourself? Fool, idiot, idiot...» I wanted to hit myself harder.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

A few days had passed, and I had "forgotten" (or rather ignored to maintain my sanity) that encounter at the café.

Rivers, a classmate, ask me if we want to do some homework together, and since my house was a mess due to my lack of organization, she decided it would be better to go to Starboby, Roier's café at the university. And here I am again, and he is here.

If someone asked me to organize the 5 most embarrassing moments of my life, what happened in this café a few days ago would occupy the top 5 places.

I'm behind my computer while looking at him, hoping he doesn't notice. After half an hour in the place, I only know one thing about him, and that is his name, which is Philza, and I only know that because I noticed the shiny name tag that I didn't see on my first visit.

I want to ask for his number... I would love to be able to get up and approach him, act like a normal person, and just talk to him, but at this point, I'm sure he thinks I'm a weirdo. I am a weirdo, but I don't like to think that he knows it.

"You could ask Roier for his number," Rivers brought one of her pens to my face and started poking my cheek with it insistently.

"And seem like a stalker? No, thanks," I replied in a somewhat annoyed tone because of what she was doing to my face, but I couldn't complain much anyway since I'm a bit behind on our task.

"Sure, you don't want to seem weird to your boyfriend," she started sarcastically, and she moved away from me in her chair while rolling her eyes. "Okay, be subtle and keep staring at him like a crow."

"I'm not...–" I don't even know what I was about to say because my mind freeze when my eyes were caught by his.

«Did he notice?» I felt a bit scared, I immediately looked away, but I heard a slight laugh coming from him. «he got me.» my face is completely red. I couldn't look in his direction for the rest of the afternoon, which was beneficial for Rivers since we were able to finish some work in one day and organize the ones we have left.

I started packing up my things to leave the café, and I felt someone behind me. My body tensed up when I turned around and saw him there. Time felt slow as he handed me a piece of paper. «His number?» That thought made me blush again until I looked down to see the piece of paper he had given me.

"Thank you for coming," he smiled at me, well, at us, Rivers is still here saddly "Again."

I'm sure that last part is for me, but he only gave me a receipt, just a receipt.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Today the café is a bit more crowded, it's rush hour, so I should have expected it. The line is at least 10 people long, and when it's my turn, I find myself too excited. I'm at the front, and I see him. He smiles at me but turns and moves away behind a door to the back. I'm late.

"Missa, what's up?" Roier is now at the bar, smiling at me as if he had just heard the best joke in the world. "Have you seen my new barista?" The look Roier gave me was so indiscreet that I almost hit him, it's obvious that Rivers told him everything.

I restrain any aggressive impulse that grows within me because if I expose myself more than I already am, I'm sure he won't leave me alone.

"Cold coffee, and remember to sweeten it well... You always make it a bit bitter," I tell him, completely avoiding the topic.

He laughs and turns around to start doing what I asked. I lower my head to the counter where the desserts are, I only came to the place for coffee and to see Phil, but it wouldn't hurt to have a donut anyway, one of the things I wanted to see wasn't there, I need a consolation prize.

"Are you ordering something?" That voice makes my heart skip a beat, and it makes me lift my head to see Philza on the other side of the bar with his ever-present kind and reassuring smile. I could die at that moment and be satisfied. "Didn't he finish his shift? Oh, it doesn't matter, my prayers were answered," I say.

"Yes," I say, perhaps a bit too loud.

"Phil! I see you've met Missa," Roier's joyful voice also stirs my guts, but in an unpleasant way, as I'm sure of what's coming.

"Oh, yeah, I've talked to him before," Philza replied, nodding.

I'm not saying anything, and it's awkward because this conversation is about me, but I can't do it, everything in me prevents me from commenting on what's happening.

"You need to treat him well" Roier speaks again, and I have the urge to run away from there, again. "He's not new here, he's one of our most loyal part-timers. A VIP customer," Roier says.

"Roier, no, don't exaggerate," I finally speak, looking into the brown eyes and begging him with my eyes to shut up for once.

"I see," Philza laughs, I notice how easy it seems to make that man laugh, which defensively doesn't bother me, I would love to hear that laughter for longer. I look at him again, and he returns the gaze. "I'll take good care of him then."

If he continues to be like that, I'll probably have a heart attack and die.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

It's almost the end of autumn, which means it's been a month since I met Philza, and I still haven't asked for his number. But I'm making progress, I'm at the point where I can say a complete sentence without stuttering. Anyway, I'm sure he thinks I'm weird because that's the only part of my personality that I've shown him throughout this month.

I'm at the café again, but I'm smart and learn from my mistakes. I don't go to the café during hours when I'm sure Roier will be there. I made that mistake twice, the last time was last week, and the man managed to embarrass me by telling Phil about all my mistakes when I was a rookie.

I'm not hiding behind my laptop this time; I'm "reading" a book. I read on the internet that people who look intelligent are more attractive, and I must use everything I can to my advantage.

Although I haven't talked to him much, I now know a few more things about Phil than just his name. For example, he's 25 years old, which means he's only three years older than me, and apparently, he knows Roier from his boyfriend, and knowing Cellbit's great social skills, he's probably a classmate or a fellow student.

Among the little things I know, I also managed to ask him if he's dating someone in the most discreet way possible, which means I told Rivers to ask him, and I was next to her to listen, and miraculously, the answer was no. I had never felt luckier in my life. I think I almost screamed when I found out, almost because I managed to maintain my composure as much as I could.

"Are you going to order something?" His voice, his terribly charming voice, snapped me out of my thoughts. I didn't realize when he had approached me, placing his hand on the table in front of me.

«Your number» I didn't say it. I wish I had said it. Damn it.

"I'm... I'm fine, you know, just chill.. yeah.." I said, and I'm sure that every word coming out of my mouth It's getting worse and worse.

"Right " He said, and I felt something strange inside me when he sighed after speaking.

Phil seems very committed to his work, he always comes to ask me if I need anything, even if there are several people around. It's very admirable.

He's about to lift his hand from the table and walk away, but I don't want him to. There's no one else here, and a force that I hadn't felt all month pulls my hand, tugging at the sleeve of his white shirt, back to the table.

I turn to look at him, and that momentary force leaves my body.

"Yes?" He asks with a lopsided smile that suits him torturously well.

My eyes sink to the ground. I can only see his shoes and mine.

"Uh could you...uhm" I'm sure I must look like an elf, with my ears burning from the amount of embarrassment I feel. "Can I have your number?" Somehow, that sentence came out in full.

"I already gave it to you."

"WHAT?" I shout. Because there's no other way to express what was going through my head at that moment. I'm trying and searching through hundreds of memories if that ever happened and I have nothing...

"You threw it in the trash, I thought you had rejected me and now you were just giving me confusing signals." Well, with that, I raised my head, he still looked calm, only with a hint of blush almost imperceptible on his cheeks.

"Who was giving confusing signals to who?" My brain was melted, or maybe I was swapped in the middle of the night into someone else's life because all those things he says don't make sense. "Me rejecting you? I'm not insane."

He laughs, and I feel the atmosphere lighten. "Well, you did it." He speaks through clenched teeth, holding back laughter. "When you were with your friend, I gave it to you on the back of the receipt and you threw it in the trash."

«Idiot, idiot, idiot, WHY DIDN'T I SEE THE BACK?»

"I... I didn't see it." His hand goes to my cheek, and his face begins to approach.

«Am I dreaming?» I'm completely paralyzed.

He lightly taps his forehead against mine and then takes a few steps back, but I stand up so we're still close. He takes my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine.

"Dumb" He says to me in that charming tone of voice that I'm sure I'll never get tired of.

[starshooter-1004]

Namor- The Ocean Calls 4

Masterlist

The next morning my mind was clouded; a mix between the wine and the music from last night. I sat up in the bed my eyes adjusting to my surroundings. I stood up my feet meeting the cold stone floor and walked over to the mirror. I examined myself and saw the light purple marks that trailed down my neck and chest. The memories began to flood back, the taste of him on my lips and his warmth and scent. I felt my senses being flooded by him all over again and I reminiscence. The feeling of his hands and heat permanently imprinted into my skin. A knock was heard on my door and I walked over to answer it. They're stood Atuma and Idris. She smiled and bowed as Atuma nodded his head.

“Good morning my lady, we were instructed to get you prepared for this morning with the Ajaw,” Idris beamed. 

“Please Idris, y/n is just fine,” I smiled and took the clothes from her arms.

“Change into this and meet at the ancestral hut in the center,” said Idris. I smiled and nodded closing the door. A day with Namor once again, was I excited? The anticipation to see him is what drew me to get ready with haste. I don’t know why but I was genuinely looking forward to his company this morning. After the whirl wind of events from yesterday; I am hoping today would be a different outcome. 

I exited the hut and made my way across the winding path and bridge to the center hut. Two guards standing at the entrance as I entered; Namor seemed to be deep in thought as he painted a new figure on his wall. I stood by the door for a few moments just observing him. He had a new outfit on of the thick cotton cloth. No jewels on him except the same nose and earrings as yesterday. I then reached up to the pendant suddenly aware of the jewel we both shared. He finally turned toward me and smiled.

“Please, don’t have be the reason you stop,” I walked toward him.

“No it’s quite alright, I was just finished and needed something other than this wall to look at,” he grinned. I blushed looking down at my hands, I heard the bowl and brush be placed on the table.

“I planned on taking you to the city again today. I wanted to show you around more and the day to day lives of the Talokanian people,” He wiped his hands with a rag. He looked up at me again placing the rag on the back of the chair and caressed my cheek.

“You look beautiful this morning,” Namor then leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes taking in the proximity and his warmth as he lingered. He pulled away and placed the same device from yesterday to the middle of my back activating it. The same clear jelly surrounded me and he rid himself of his cloth. In this lighting I can better admire the man I had last night; he was truly a sight. 

“Careful now your drooling,” he joked. My eyes went wide and I looked away suddenly. 

“Well, can you blame me?” I teased. He smiled and walked over to me again.

“I hope to have you in my bed again soon,” he whispered. All I could do was look at him and nod.

“Not a woman of much words when flustered hm?” He teased. I rolled my eyes and pushed his shoulder; in which he sarcastically held it as if in pain. A laugh emitted from me then; the might king of Talokan bringing himself down to make me feel strong. 

“Come on let's get going,” I turned toward the door ahead of him heading to the pool. Namor grinned and trailed behind me and I stood at the edge looking into the dark abyss with the light green hue. He approached me on my right stretching his hand once again. I instead jumped in on my own, allowing the water to engulf me and gravity to sink me. I allowed my body to float in place until Namor jumped in causing a ripple of bubbles to flutter around me. 

He took the lead again directing me where to go, my swimming still faltering compared to his. Namor slowed his pace to keep up with me and glancing back to ensure I was close. We entered the city with the same current as yesterday; I had a better time today controlling my body as we went.

“Your learning quite quickly,” he said. Namor smiled and motioned me to swim up into the cavern. There he directed me to a long beam of plants and sea fish; women and men swam around picking up objects and placing new ones. The trade within the community was fluid and everything seemed so fresh compared to the markets on the surface. Namor approached the beam picking up a shell and handing it to me. 

“The sea shell, something very common and I’m sure you're accustomed too. Inside though we place pearls and quartz. This is very popular among couple gift one another in Talokan,” Namor said. I examined the shell as the jewels reflected onto my skin and looked at Namor. 

“It’s beautiful,” I smiled. I went to place it back onto the table beam until Namor’s hand grabbed mine.

“No, keep it as a token,” he didn’t look at me only staring at my hands and the shell. I looked up at him and he seemed upset, he quickly turned from me letting my hands go and swam forward. I caught up to him here we saw children playing and swimming excitedly amongst each other. The same child noticed us and quickly swam toward us bowing and gesturing to Namor and I. She quickly beckoned us to follow; in which I didn’t wait for Namor. 

The girl had the ball in her hand and motioned her hip and legs to me with it. She was trying to teach me the aspect of the game. She bumped it off her own toward the boy ahead he kicked it my way. I immediately put my arms up expecting to feel the force. Instead the water was the resistance and it instead floated forward. I looked as it was making its way and bumped it with my hip. It narrowly missed the hoop on the side; I beamed and turned towards the girl excitedly. 

The girl giggled and began repeating the moves and adding more advanced maneuvers to the game. I forgot Namor was watching as I played with the children for a while. When I looked over I saw him some distance away arms crossed and watching with a grin. He seemed to be in a different world as he looked on; like his thoughts were elsewhere. I took the girls hands and thanked her for the game instruction and hoped to see her soon. She bowed her head and gestured to me as she did Namor. 

I turned again to Namor swimming to him; I seemed to snap him back into reality as I floated before him. He again swam toward the sun of Talokan, there we watched the sun as it beamed brightly. Such a mystery how one man was able to provide such a thing to his people so below the depths. Namor approached a chair in the center; looking like a throne more so. He gazed at it and reached for my hand. He sat on the throne and pulled me to his lap; my arms wrapped around his neck as his secured my waist. 

“What do you think of the city now that you’ve seen more of it?” He asks. I looked down removing my arms and played with the shell. 

“It’s one of the most beautiful and magnificent things I’ve ever seen. The people here are so kind and it’s amazing what your people have been able to provide,” I looked out to the city again. 

“I wish that one day, you will want to stay here,” Namor exclaimed. I turned toward him.

“I am a surface dweller Namor, I am the very thing you despise; why keep me here of all people?” I didn’t mean for my tone to be harsh. He clenched his jaw and took a deep breathe before leaning close.

“Because I was there that night; the night you cursed to the stars and the ocean. The night you wished to be whisked away from your home of loneliness and torment. That night I made the decision to take you away from all of that; to give you a new meaning to your life,” I gaped at him. Namor… heard all of that? I put my hand on my head suddenly feeling a wave of anxiety and anger come over me.

“You’ve been watching me? For how long?” I looked at him slightly angry. 

“About three months before bringing you here. I was on a patrol of the coast after reports of a mechanism mining on of our resources. Upon my discovery I heard and found you; there I made sure to list twice a week. Each time seeing you reading or talking to your self like someone was listening. Each day I came to visit you made me even more sure you were the one,” he caressed my face.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean that you could be the missing piece to my people; to me,” he looked into my eyes. A wave of anxiety shot through me and I quickly got off his lap swimming to the edge of the throne scene. He stood then looking at me with concern; I looked at him then the shell.

“Why is this specific gift important to the Talokanian people?” I asked. Namor’s shoulder slouched slightly before swimming forward.

“Because…this is often used for proposals. Both marriage or courtship,” Namor avoided eye contact, just staring at the shell. I looked at him angry, I knew I was a fool to think this was nothing more than fleeting feelings. I shoved the shell into his chest and swam toward the exit. 

“Y/n!” Namor shouted. I swam with all my might trying to quickly get away from him. The surface the real surface I had to get there. There were two currents one on the right in which we entered; I knew there that led. I turned toward the left instead and quickly went toward that current. Namor’s voice appeared more urgent in his pleas and his speed increasing. Before he could grab me I dove into the current allowing it to whisk me away. 

The current was stronger and rough it jolted me around causing me to bump and flip in turn. I couldn’t get my bearings and this scared me; my anxiety flared up and as I tried to grab the walls it would rip me away. Suddenly I rounded a corner so hard I hit my back against the wall. The barrier around me flickered causing water to be trapped within. The water was freezing and my oxygen compromised. The pressure caused my ears to ring and everything sounded muffled. In a panic I curled into a ball covering my head as I hit another wall and everything went dark. 

[oddella37]

Uprooted and Adjusted (Part 3)

Summary: After recovering from battle, Y/n has a choice to make. Return to her destroyed home or stay and make a new life.

Part 2 // Part 4 (coming soon)

The battle came to an end and everyone returned home.

Nearly everyone. I no longer had a home to return to. I was staying in a Marui, not far from Tsireya’s home, who I learned is the daughter of the Olo’eyktan and is the future Tsahik. Tonowari, Olo’eyktan of the Awa’Atlu tribe came to visit me regularly while I was on bedrest, as instructed by Ronal, his mate and Tsahik. He thanked me for being brave in the face of the demons and apologized for the damage done to my home.

I was instructed to rest for at least two days and that is exactly what I had done. I rested, only coming out to get food and get some time in the sun.

On my final day of rest, Tonowari once again came to my Marui to check in what I silently hoped was the final time. I appreciated his help, but I was a warrior back home. I did not need his help.

Tonowari had Ronal with him and they both sat with me while I weaved an intricately beaded chest piece since I had nothing better to do.

Ronal struggled to sit comfortably, her baby likely due and week now.

I bowed my head and looked at the leaders of this clan that had been so hospitable to me.

“Y’n,” Tonowari spoke, pulling my attention from my crafts. “I have gotten word back from your clan. There are very few of them left,” He breathed, pain obvious in his voice. I hung my head again as the dread built in my stomach once again. “They will be rebuilding, but I feel it only right to offer for you to stay here,” Tonowari looked in my eyes. I couldn’t help the tears that brimmed at my lids, not daring to slip out. “I cannot keep you here, but your Olo’eyktan says you are a mighty warrior and would thrive in our clan if you choose to stay.”

I stayed silent. I wanted to say no, to go back home and see for myself if my mother was truly gone, but I knew. If my Olo’eyktan was encouraging me to stay here it was because I had nothing to come back to.

“Thank you,” I looked at him. Ronal began to pick at my bandage, peeling it away from my skin. The wound was no more than a painful scab now. I turned back to Tonowari, “May I think about it?” I asked him.

“Of course,” He encouraged, giving me a soft smile. “Tonight we are going to have a celebration for our victory. We’ve sent our warriors back to Eywa and it is time we celebrate the lives we still have. You are welcome to join us. You can tell me your decision tomorrow.” He smiled softly and I nodded, looking down at the beaded piece in my hands.

“You should wear that piece you’ve worked so hard on,” He smiled at me. He was kind and encouraging, like a father I never knew. “It is a little formal,” I smiled at him, “Bright colored beads and a lot of shells,” I laughed.

“It is beautiful,” Ronal encouraged, “If you do not wear it, I may take it,” She teased, acting like she was going to snatch it from me. I laughed at her actions and looked at the piece. Maybe I will.

“I could always make you one,” I offered her. “If you can get me the beads of course,” I smiled and she only laughed

“I am Tsahik, I get as many beads as I wish.” She joked, gesturing to her chest piece she wore which was beautifully intricate. “You may be a good warrior, but I may steal you to make more of your beautiful art,” She smiled as her hands played with my hair.

“Whatever you choose to do, you will be of great use to our clan,” Tonowari interrupted. “However, with our foreigners, you may need to learn some of their language.” He warned me. I frowned at the idea of learning the demon language, but tried not to make my disdain obvious.

“Tonowari, may I ask what you expect from your warriors? Every clan is different,” I explained.

“Well our village has never been one for war until now. Our warriors mainly keep watch and help with fishing,” He explained. “We aren’t ones for war, but we do stay prepared to protect our people.” I nodded.

“Could I not create beadwork in my free time?” I asked, smiling teasingly at Ronal.

She laughed, “I guess it is possible.”

We all smiled and I couldn’t help but appreciate just how at home I felt with them and I haven’t even visited the village yet. “Tonowari, I think I will stay if it is okay. I feel more at home here than I ever did in my village,” I explained to him.

He nodded and gave me an approving smile. “How about I make your first mission keeping an eye on those Sully boys. They seem to keep getting into trouble. Along with my son, Ao’nung. If you can keep them out of trouble for the night we will call it even,” He teased.

I smiled and nodded, “Shouldn’t be too hard, sir.”

Tonowari laughed, “You would be surprised.” He warned before standing up. I hadn’t even noticed how Ronal had begun fixing my hair that had gotten messed up in battle. She hummed as she began undoing and redoing some of the braids. By the time she had finished she had two main braids on each side of my head that met in the middle at my Queue which of course braided down. The rest of it hung down, the natural curls flowing freely. I smiled at her finished product.

Tonowari had left to do Olo’eyktan duties a bit ago and Ronal sat in comfortable silence.

“I thought you may want your hair to look nice,” She explained, “Who knows, maybe you will meet your future muntxa.” She teased.

I laughed and shook my head, “Do not be silly,” I felt my face heat up at the idea.

“What?” She laughed, as if I were crazy, “You’re a beautiful young woman. Older than my daughter and she already shows interest in boys like that Lo’ak,” She sighed and I could tell she was unsure.

I smiled at her, “Eywa will guide her. Tsireya is a smart girl, she will make good choices even if we do not see them,” I assured her. Ronal sighed, knowing I was right, but not wanting to admit it.

“The celebration will take place after dark, we will feast and dance and I better see you in that top.” She gave on final tease as she stood up, walking out of my Marui.

I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I looked down, knowing I now had to make sure I finished this top.

I heard loud cheers from outside of my marui, knowing the celebration was starting. I smiled and put some final adjustments on my chest piece. It anchored itself around my neck, and hung down over my chest, strings of beads woven together, some strings hanging down and weaving back up into the top, making it drape beautifully. The back supported itself with two strings crossing each other and meeting at the piece that wrapped around the back of my neck. Shells small and large decorated the piece. I’d even had time to add some beads around my waist where my loincloth sat so everything would match nicely.

I peeked out of my Marui and looked around until I spotted several bonfires in the distance. The smell of food wafting in the air. They must’ve hunted for hours the past several days to prepare for a feast such as this.

After a few deep breaths, I wandered over to the celebration. In the distance I could see Tsireya helping with setting out the food.

I walked over and began helping her, it took a moment before she noticed me there and gasped. I jumped at her sudden gasp, looking at her to see what may have hurt her.

“Oh great mother, Y/n, you look beautiful!” She cheered at me, admiring my hair and chest piece.

A girl nearby looked up out of curiosity. I noticed her resemblance to the rest of the Sully family and smiled at her. I hadn’t the chance to introduce myself to all or any of them so I smiled at her. “I am Y/n,” I introduced, “Spider told me all about the Sully family. You must be Kiri? He speaks fondly of you,” I lifted my hand to my forehead to give her a polite, “Oel Ngati kameie.”

Kiri smiled fondly at me, “It is nice to meet you, Y/n. I hear you are the new clan member, maybe my family can stop being seen as the newcomers.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “I can’t help but feel our different backgrounds may affect that idea” I tried to joke. She thankfully laughed, not taking my lighthearted comment in a bad way. Thank Eywa.

“Well it is nice to meet you. Maybe you can show me how you make such beautiful beadwork sometime,” She smiled and I couldn’t help the heat that I felt rising in my cheeks.

Once Kiri walked away, I turned to Tsireya and nodded my head, “I never thanked you for treating my wound. I am indebted to you,” I smiled, bowing my head.

Tsireya shook her head, “No, no. Do not worry about it. It was no big deal. I am just happy you are doing better,” She smiled and I nodded slowly.

After we finished setting up the massive feast, Tsireya managed to get her attention drawn away by one of the Sully boys, Lo’ak. I couldn’t help my laugh, watching them dance for a little while before spotting Tonowari a bit away chatting with someone. I smiled and wandered over, seeing Ronal not far away also talking. As I got closer I was able to see figures they were talking to. Jake Sully, Neytiri, and their oldest son, Neteyam.

Neteyam had a bandage still around his torso. He probably still had a little longer to head since his wound was worse than mine.

When I approached, I bowed my head to the Sullys, “Oel Ngati kameie,” I looked at them. Each of them responded back to me with kind smiles.

Tonowari gave me a proud smile and placed a hand on my shoulder. I couldn’t hide my grimace as he had squeezed my injured shoulder, but quickly masked it with a polite smile. Ronal happened to notice and swatted Tonowari’s hand.

Tonowari, realizing his mistake, lifted his hand and gave me an apologetic look before going back to his conversation. “Y/n is going to be joining our tribe,” He told the Sullys, leaning in to speak lowly to Jake. I was still able to pick it up and I’m sure everyone else could as well. “I told her to keep an eye on our boys tonight since they always seem to be getting in trouble,” He jokes. Jake laughed at the comment, but I noticed Neteyam’s frustration at the comment. I looked over at him and tilted my head with curiosity while I inspected the brightly colored Na’vi. His colors were much bolder than those of us from Metkayina. His arms are thinner, same for his tail. My gaze traveled down his arms and inspected his hands. It wasn’t long before I realized he had four fingers rather than three. My heart felt like it stopped and a  soft gasp escaped me before I could stop it. Everyone looked at me with confusion since I was obviously fine.

“Demon blood,” I whispered, squinting at Neteyam’s hands which he held out upon realizing my gaze.

“It is okay,” Jake’s voice rang calmingly. He held his hand out for me to see. He also had the same amount of fingers. “I was once a dreamwalker, but Eywa blessed me and I adapted,” He explained calmly.

I nodded slowly and looked at Neteyam who still had his hand out. I hesitantly grabbed his hand and examined it. I heard the men chuckle at my curiosity. I eventually held my hand and Neteyam’s up against each other to look at exactly how different they were. Other than the obvious size difference and extra finger, our hands were the same. Same feeling, same texture, same creases.

My gaze flicked over to Neteyam’s and his eyes met mine for a moment before he looked away, seeming embarrassed.

“How about you kids go have fun?” Jake encouraged, ruffling his son’s hair, “Go dance or something.”

“Dad, I cannot dance like them,” He whispered, embarrassed.

I smiled at him and closed my hand around Neteyam’s, “I will show you, come!” I encouraged and pulled him towards the fire where people were dancing.

When we had a clear space away from others, I turned back to look at him.

“I do not know how forest Na’vi dances, but here, our dances are smooth, flowing like the water. Yes, sometimes the sea can be swift and dramatic, but it is still always graceful in a way,” I explained, dancing to the faint mosaic that played over the crackling of the fire.

Neteyam watches me closely as I sway my arms and body with the music. “Other than that there are no rules as long as you are enjoying yourself,” I explained as I grabbed Neteyams arms to get him moving.

“Back home our dancing is much more energetic,” He explained and I smiled.

I watched him as he stiffly danced to the music, holding large amounts of tension in his shoulders. I laughed and placed my hands on his shoulders, forcing them to relax a little. “You look more like a twig bending in the wind. Be more relaxed. Aren’t I the one with the injured shoulder?” I joked at him.

Neteyam laughed, loosening up a bit while we continued dancing to the side where we were barely seen.

“How is the ocean treating you?” I asked, trying to find conversation with the boy who seemed so different.

“It is hard, everything is so different, but I am able to adjust. My father says we will adapt to your ways.” He explained, I noticed the lack of hope he had in his eyes. Almost fear, but not quite. He seemed too prideful for that, and in all honesty, I had faith in the boy I had only just met.

“I am sure you will. The son of the mighty Toruk Makto is bound to succeed in everything he tries, no?” I hummed, twirling while I managed to get lost in the music that was playing.

Neteyam laughed, “I guess that is the problem. I am not able to fail or I will disappoint my entire family. As if I don’t do that enough.” He seemed so defeated despite barely getting a chance to try.

“Do not say that, Neteyam. As the oldest son it is given that your parents hold you higher than anyone else. You aren’t disappointing them, they just want you to do well so much that sometimes they forget you will stumble a few times,” I told him and as if on queue, he stumbled from tripping over my foot that I’d accidentally stuck too far out. He nearly fell into the fire had I not caught him by the wrist and held him upright.

Neteyam gasped and let out a breathy laugh, “I think that is enough dancing for me.”

I tsked at his attitude and shook my head, “This is your problem, you stumble and think it is time to quit, instead we step away from the fire and continue,” I smiled and pulled him away from the large bonfire so we could keep dancing.

Neteyam begrudgingly listened to my words and I smiled, as he was able to pick up the dance. He moved smoothly and connected, like the ocean. “See?” I teased.

Neteyam gave me a teasing glare, “I suppose you do have a point, so when do I get to teach you something?” He wondered and although the question was rhetorical I hummed while I thought of something.

“Actually…” I started, “Maybe you could teach me the Sky people’s language?” I proposed and Neteyam seemed to think it over, but I could tell he was teasing his answer. “I supposed that is doable.”

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Answers (self-ship minific)

I've been working on this all day, heheheh......H-hope it turned out good......>///////< I-it turned out a bit longer than I expected.....

Th-this isn't smut, it's....it takes place before the smut drabbles. I-I just....got the urge to write something about the earlier stages of the relationship, before sh-she started getting intimate with me.....B-back when I just joined her kingdom.....

I-I dunno if I'll do this again, but I did have fun with this....I-it just shows that I'm still in the mood to write, even after writing nonstop for eleven months.....>//////>

---

"Little one…."

Her voice had taken on a tone I had never heard before. She'd been firm with me before, but not like this….This didn't sound like scolding, it sounded like….a warning….She wasn't raising it, still speaking softly, but that voice I found so addictive…had lost all its warmth.

"It would be wise for you to not ask questions you are not prepared to hear the answers to."

And from her, who's words mean everything to me….hearing her give me such a warning made my jam run cold. It was like time stood still….Her gorgeous eyes were glaring at me now, and her smirk was gone from her face….

I messed up. I messed up. I messed up….

My body freezes in shock, unable to apologize, or say anything for that matter, as she turns and flies away, the Cheesebirds following her, leaving me by myself….sitting in silence….

Staring ahead at where she was….

I'd JUST became her subject…and I already I messed up…Why…why….how…?

It had been only about a week since I officially moved into the Golden Cheese Kingdom….Since Queen Golden Cheese decided to take me….under her wings….I'd been visiting her for a while beforehand, but I thought I'd never truly be welcomed by her as much as humored…And that just getting to see her, and talk to her, was enough to make my heart race in gratitude and happiness….but, she actually invited me to join her kingdom, and I became even more grateful…

I thought I'd been doing a good job adjusting to everything….I'd been my normal self, staying off in my new room, out of everyone's way until I'm needed…Living with her made me feel overwhelmed, and I had panicked a lot at first over the thought of her finding out about my feelings for her…(if she doesn't already know…I can't tell…)

But…as the days passed…I realized that, since I'm part of it now, maybe I could finally ask a question that'd been on my mind for a long time about the kingdom…That maybe it wouldn't be considered rude, since it's now my home….and that question was…

If this kingdom is a utopia…why are there no other cookies who live here….? Why is it only Cheesebirds…? Why am I seemingly the first cookie to decide to move in here….? It's not that I'm unsettled by that information, only curious…So, I decided to ask a few of the miners about it….

They'd looked at each other, clearly hesitating, almost….not sure if they should tell me…and that should've been my clue…

But then, she appeared from behind me, and told me that.

My body is completely frozen…I can't relax due to how stiff my dough is….and my chest tightens in anxiety…Queen Golden Cheese is always so nice to me, and so patient….I'd never seen her look like that before…

That question….I didn't mean any harm….I swear…I didn't wanna pry too much…I swear…! But…I couldn't apologize…and now, I dunno what to do…

Did I anger her…? Does she wanna be away from me….? Should I….stay away….? It hurts to think about being away from her now….but…if I messed up….I should, right…?

And so…that's what I choose to do. I stay outside, at the edge of the mines, sitting all alone….It feels like time has frozen inside me, although I see it passing around me….Hours pass, as I sit there, listening to the sounds below….Trying to silence my own thoughts…

The sun starts to set, and I'm still sitting there in the same spot, unmoving….Staring ahead of me, like a lifeless doll….The events still repeating in my head…Not having recovered yet…

When, out of nowhere, from above…

"Parsley…"

That voice I love hearing so much calls my name…and I spurn myself back into motion again, snapping out of the daze. My eyes widen, and my heart skips a beat…I look up as I notice a shadow looming over me….and sure enough, Queen Golden Cheese is looking right back at me….

Smiling at me again…

"It is going to get dark soon…" she tells me, "Are you not going to go back inside, little one?"

Speaking to me in that soft way again….

It's suddenly as if my bad mistake didn't happen…And I'm allowed to feel my chest filling with warmth in her presence, like always…

However, as much as I wanna relax in relief…I know I can't….She wouldn't forget…Just because she seems to have forgiven me, doesn't mean I shouldn't apologize…! "Y-Your Radiance…." I start, as I bow my head to her, feeling my breaths quicken in nervousness… "Your Radiance, I…."

If I'm gonna be her subject….I have to show her, in every way, how grateful I am to be here….To behold her….To be blessed by her….I have to worship her, to be the best subject I can be…and that means owning up to every mistake I make….rather than take her mercy for granted….

"I- about earlier….I'm so, so sorry-"

She holds a hand in front of her. "Don't be."

I immediately shut up, showing her the complete obedience she wants. I make a noise in my confusion. She doesn't want me to apologize? Why not? From the way she looked at me before, it seemed like she'd really been upset with me…!

She lowers her hand, and her smile doesn't waver…nor does the softness of her voice.

"I know you meant no harm…." she explained, "And, indeed, it is only natural to have such questions. I knew you would ask them eventually…but, I was not yet prepared…"

She…really does forgive me…? She…she knew it would come up…? Really…? So…if she knew I would ask, then….was it not too invasive after all…?

"It is I who must apologize, for I should not have become so harsh to you…over the inevitable."

Her feet touch the ground, and she steps closer to me, blocking my view of the setting sun…it outlines her features….making her look even more like she was the sun itself to me….

Her eyes are so, so pretty…Her smile, too….Her presence is so welcoming, yet powerful at the same time…and I can't get enough…I'm such a lucky cookie, to live so near her, and to have her see me….

"It is clear to me that you are ready. I shall answer you now…but, you must promise me something first, my subject…." she tells me, as she leans down…The closer she gets to me, the warmer my face feels…

I manage a nod and a squeak, my heartbeat speeding in my ears…I can't believe she's actually gonna tell me….! Is she really OK with this now…? All she needed was some time….? She's….really OK with me knowing this about her kingdom….?

She's not upset at me….She's not upset…I can calm down, but….I'm still so nervous….I don't know what I'll hear, and it feels like I shouldn't be worthy of this after all….She told me before that I'm "not prepared" to hear this…what did she mean by that…?

"Whenever you have questions about this topic…You come to me with them, and will not ask anyone else. Understand?" she orders me, her voice getting a bit firmer to let me know she's serious again, "Your fellow denizens, they weren't yet alive at the time…They do not know of everything. The only one who can give you the most accurate account is me…"

Ask her…? So…I can't ask anyone else….? It has to be her…? What's so special about my simple question, if only she can answer it…? At least that clears up why she didn't like me asking the Cheesebirds earlier…

But…the fact that she's ordering me to….come to her….Ahhh, my heart…! I can't calm down…!

I try to speak. "B-but…a-are you sure….? I-if you…r-really…don't wanna, then…" I briefly look away from her, down at my hands, "I don't…wanna b-bother you…"

"You will not. Trust me…It is your right to know, and my responsibility to be the one to tell you…" she leans toward me a bit more, "I am your queen, am I not?"

I can't say no to her….It's no good….

I've never been able to go against her…From the first second I saw her, I was pulled under…and from the first time she spoke to me, I knew I'd never be able to pull away….I'm so, so happy that of all gods to take notice of me, it was her….Kind, generous, accepting….and all with complete confidence….

When she tells me to do something, I'm compelled to obey…always…and so, this time, it's no different. I nod again. The thought of her wanting me to seek her for answers….it makes my heart flutter…The fact that she wants me to do that….as if my company is really wanted….It sounds too good to be true, but…after being accepted into her kingdom, everything feels that way…

She chuckles…and sits down beside me in the sand. "Good girl…" Holy crap what did she just call me? My dough flushes at those words…and as I'm processing that, she guides me into her lap…! "Come here, Parsley~…" she says my name softly, as her familiar smirk comes to her face, and I completely freeze again….Her hands are on me….Her hands…are holding me….! What's going on…?!

A touch so soft, yet…firm….holding me in place, ensuring I can't move away….Her touch..is just like her voice….!

I can't stop the fluttering in my chest, and my dough feels like it might catch fire….as she holds me, and finally tells me….about those who once lived here, and those I will be meeting soon…

[just-my-type-x]

Fuck It

Based off this and this (it ended up longer because of the dialogue, so it's a short imagine rather than a quick blurb) @electricreadingphase

"You look stunning", Tris wows when he enters the room while i adjust my earrings. I let out a muffled giggle.

"It's nothing, i got ready in 15 minutes", i smile at him

"Really?", his eyes almost fall out of his head

"No", i laugh, "I've been redoing my makeup and choosing dresses for the past three hours. I'm exhausted. And i need a drink", i bend over to grab my purse from my bed, careful not to wrinkle my dress. I stand up and throw another glance at myself in the mirror, before catching Tris eyeing me up and down, lips slightly parted. I clear my throat as a hint of red appears on my cheekbones.

"Good thing you're having your graduation party", he gives me an awkward smile and i frown while exiting my bedroom, unable to understand his reaction

A few hours later, my feet finally call it quits because of the heels and the constant hours of dancing around with now my ex colleagues. I take a seat next to Tris, who's just exhausted as i am, tho he called it quits 5 songs ago. We exchange some laughs about our dance moves, now judging everyone around us.

"Thank you for being my date tonight. We're more than 60 girls in my year and not enough guys.", i give him a sincere smile and i squeeze his hand gently, which takes both of us by surprise. We quickly pull away our hands and my stomach drops at the fact that he really moved his hand away.

"And you're single too", he points out and takes a sip of his drink. I roll my eyes at his smirk

"No need to get personal", i pin him with my eyes as i take his glass out of his hand to serve myself with his drink of choice. His breath intensifies and i smirk to myself.

"Listen..", Tris starts but doesn't look at me. "I'm leaving for a while.", his eyes find mine and my smile quickly fades away. "We're going to Scotland to get some writing going, Con's grandparents have a farm and they gave us permission to turn it into a studio for as long as needed.", i nod, unable to understand why he's so serious about it all.

"Well, good luck to you guys, I'm sure it will help you come up with great songs", i pat him on the shoulder

"Yeah, thanks.", he looks away, shaking his head

***

Weeks go by and as much as i try to keep the friendship with Tris flowing, he seems unreachable, which pisses me off. Every three days the boys would facetime me and Kirstie, but no conversation would starts between Tris and I. We never fought or something, it didn't even seem like we're ignoring one another, it was just so annoying being around him, even if it was in virtual for.

3 months later, the boys are back in town, just in time to celebrate Kirstie's promotion at work. She rented out a foyer just outside London, where we all gathered to congratulate her.

I leave the foyer in need to get away from the boys, who seem to be way too agitated and loud, something i grew out of whilst not having them around for almost 6 months. I find a swing and sit on it, resting my forehead on the chain.

I raise my eyes when i hear rattling of leaves on the ground. I almost roll my eyes when i notice Tris' messy hair but i just straighten my back. He quietly sits down on the swing next to me.

"Why did you leave the foyer?", his voice is a bit raspy, maybe because of the continuous recording of songs. I scoff.

"Hi, I'm y/n, you must be?", i sarcastically extend my hand out in his direction. Tris grins at me.

"Alright, alright, i might deserve it", he shakes my hand in the end and i roll my eyes while standing up. "Don't leave", he stops me, standing up as well. "I'm sorry i didn't stay in touch with you. At first i was mad at you, then it became a habit"

"mad at me? About what?"

"Your graduation party. I told you i was going away for a few weeks and you had no problem with that."

"Tristan, you've been away for months, which i wouldn't had known unless i asked Kirstie. I was ready to prepare a meal for you when you came back", the raise of my voice was unnecessary. We both sigh and i turn around to walk away, but he stops me by catching my waist and glueing my back to his chest.

"I wanted you to come with me. I wanted you there because i couldn't go 2 days without seeing your face, but you were so ok with me leaving, that i had to give you space", he almost whispers in my ear, while i find it hard to swollow. "And i still feel the same", his voice even lower.

"So you're telling me this is your way of letting me know you feel something for me?", i snap back, eyeing him

"I didn't want to fuck up and lose you forever. I needed time away from you, especially when i saw you're not that affected by my departure", Tris raises his arms but lets them fall next to his body, defeated. "Whatever. I'll take the blame"

"You would never fuck up with me because i wouldn't let you". A shy smile creeps on his face.

"How come?"

"Tris, i want you too much to be mine rather than have you take a wrong decision and lose you for good", the words take me by surprise and i only realise the weigh of them when Tris closes the gap between us, his forehead on mine while his eyes don't leave mine.

"So, you're saying we should give it a try?", a smirk appears on my face when he asks that and all i can do is nod, my cheeks flushed. With a wide smile on his face, Tris kisses my lips hard, his hands on the small of my back.

[quinn-borel]

[Quinnmeric/Wolmeric Modern!AU. Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7]

A/N: This chapter contains NSFW content

Aymeric turned in his sleep, eyes slowly opening to the darkness of his hotel room.  He felt a chill down his spine as a cold breeze tickled his skin as the blankets had been previously kicked to the side.  He lazily ran his hand along the empty side of the bed—still warm, as if the occupant hadn’t been gone for long. 

“What time is it?” He muttered, then turning to face the other nightstand in hopes that he could see the clock.  But before he could register what the clock had said, the bathroom door slowly creaked open with its bright light shining through, effectively blinding him.  Though the light was off as quickly as it was on, the soft muttering of the word “shit” from a female voice signaled to him that Quinn was still there.  He slowly closed his eyes once more in hopes of getting a few more winks of sleep, but his companion flopped back into the bed and the brightness of her phone screen hit him directly in the eye.  He let forth a grunt with a loud yawn, then pulling his arm from the covers and bridging it over her hips. 

“Good morning.” Quinn whispered as she put her phone back on the nightstand, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You’re fine.” He yawned, “Are you cold?”

“A little bit.”

“Come here, then.”

By his command she rolled over towards him, pulling her side of the blanket over herself and nuzzling into his chest.  Aymeric pulled her closer to him, his hand trailing from her hips up to her back as he traced fleeting circles against her skin,

“It’s about six in the morning.” She pointed out.  Aymeric hummed in response,

“Do you want to go back to sleep?”

“Not particularly.”

“Neither do I.” His eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the darkness but able to view the soft light peeking out from the curtains, “….But I’d rather not get up just yet.”

In truth, he probably needed to.  No doubt that his phone, while on silent, was barraged with messages from Handeloup and Lucia respectively.  He did have an important meeting later in the evening, so it was best to prepare for that.  Quinn shifted a bit in her position, gazing upon him with a warm smile as her fingertip traced his jaw.

“I’m not keeping you, am I?” she asked coyly, to which Aymeric shifted his gaze in response.  He weighed his choices carefully—work…or play?

After a moment of thought he replied, “Not at all.”

Another five minutes or so wouldn’t hurt, would it?  He couldn’t help but to continue to caress her and take in her warmth as she cuddled up next to him.  She licked her lips subtly before she spoke, as if her words were calculated,

“I’ve...been rather vulnerable with you recently.” she began, her hand, once flat against his chest, now balled into a fist, “I’m sorry about that.”

“…’sorry’…?” Aymeric repeated quizzically, “I don’t know what you’re apologizing for…”

“I’m sure Haurchefant told you about my predisposition.” she pulled away from him slightly so that their eyes could meet.  Her mouth was still curled into a smile, but behind her eyes reflected that of regret, or maybe it was embarrassment.  Either way, Aymeric furrowed his brow in response,

“I’d rather not let the stories of others dictate how I judge someone’s character,” he explained, “I’d rather get to know the person first before my opinion is properly formed.”

“You’re kind.” she lowered her gaze to his chest, her balled fist relaxing once more, “But it’s true what he’s probably told you.  I’m not exactly coming out of the best situation.  I hope you don’t think of me as using you to make myself feel better.”

Aymeric continued to trace circles between her shoulder blades, his next choice of words needed to be properly expressed, lest she get the wrong idea.

“…I think of you as a charming, lovely, and talented woman.” he began, “Even if you were using me to make yourself feel better, these last few days have been exceptional with you at my side.  Truly, I don’t think I’ve enjoyed myself as much in such a long time.”

“…Then you wouldn’t be apprehensive about taking this further?” she asked coyly.  

“Not at all.”

“Even with your work? I won’t be in the way of that?”

“Nonsense.” he laughed, “There’s just something invigorating about you that changes things up in my life.  While my work is important to me, you…”

he cupped her cheek in his hand,

“…you are by far my most beautiful distraction.”

Her hand touched his gently, her lips quivering but for a moment before she quickly pressed them against his.  Aymeric rolled over onto his back, Quinn following as she lay on top of him–the couple became intertwined once more, lips locked together and each others hands tangled within the other’s hair.

“You’ve won me.” she muttered with a smile against his lips, “If that was your aim, I’m your prize.”

“Thank the Gods, because I was afraid you didn’t feel the same.” he admitted.

“I trust you.” she whispered, “To keep me close.  To keep me safe.  To love me.”

To love her…

I…do love her.

It had only been a few days, and yet Aymeric felt as if he had known her longer than that.  Surely they had met before, how else would they mesh together so well in such a short period of time?  And how else could he come to love someone so quickly?  Maybe it was at a college party. Maybe he was too drunk the night Haurchefant introduced her to him.  Truly, Aymeric couldn’t help but to silently ponder the events that led to him finding love with none other than Quinnelainne Varria.  Yet as they kissed, and as he pondered, no memory could be pulled to where she had existed beforehand.  They truly met only days prior.  And yet as she sat up and upon him, looking down on him with her hands dragging along his torso, the man could only feel a swell in his chest with adoration for her.  Even as she momentarily abandoned him to grab another condom, he still looked to her with awe and reverence.

And as she gracefully slid down on his cock, he prayed that it wasn’t a dream–that the feeling of love had finally returned to him.

“I love you.” he gasped as she began to ride him, the feeling of her cunt squeezing him, pulling him from his thoughts and bringing him back to reality.  It wasn’t a dream, far from it even.  Her soft gaze fell upon him, hands grasping at his own as she muttered back,

“I love you, too.”

With his hand in her own, Quinn kissed the back of his palm before slowly licking his thumb.  She never once broke eye contact with him, not even as she dragged his hand down her body and positioned his thumb against the soft flesh between her legs.  She winced momentarily before closing her eyes–her moans were soft, pleading, and low enough just for his ears only.  A stark contrast from the night before.  Aymeric moved his wrist with the rhythm of her bouncing, his thumb pressing small circles into her clit as she whimpered his name.

“If only all mornings could be like this.” he breathed with a small smirk.  Quinn opened her eyes once more and greeted him with her warm smile.

“Yeah, I could get used to this.” she sighed followed by a low moan, “Right there.”

“Here?”

She hummed in approval as he continued to press against her, though he couldn’t help but to jerk his hips upwards to occasionally get a reaction out of her.  She began to pant, her grip on his hand loosening as she no longer felt the need to guide him.  His name once again left her lips– it was music to his ears.  And then it grew louder, and louder, and louder as if her own dam had burst.  Aymeric gently hushed her with a smile,

“The whole floor will hear us.”

“I don’t care.” she moaned, “Let them know I came.”

Aymeric’s eyebrows shifted upwards with surprise for a moment before both his hands gripped her hips.

“I’d rather your noises be reserved for me.”

Just as quickly as the words left his lips he switched positions on her, tossing her to the side before returning to her in missionary.  Quinn wrapped her arms around him, breathing his name into his ear as he began to thrust into her.

“Just a little further.” he muttered, “You can handle it.”

Her fingers were tangled in his ebony tinted locks–a gentle tug was all that it took before his thrusts were cut abruptly short with a soft grunt.  He pressed hot kisses against her cheek, her lips, and the corner of her jaw before rolling over in the same state as he was the night before.  Spent.

Quinn started to giggle upon seeing him in such disarray, her palm quickly finding his as their fingers interlocked.  Again she had that warm and tantalizing smile upon her features that hypnotized him and pulled him into her orbit.  Their lips met briefly before he had to excuse himself to the trash can once more,

“You’re not gonna fall asleep on me again, are you?” he asked playfully.  Quinn pulled the blanket back over her body and waited for his return,

“No, I actually feel more awake now.” she explained with a grin, “Also, I failed to tell you that I got some good news from my agent this morning.”

Aymeric joined her back on the bed, his hand combing through the stray strands of hair that framed her face, “Do tell.”

“Well, it seems like someone requested us to perform at a certain venue tonight that I believe a certain someone will be having dinner with the ‘admiral’ at.”

“No kidding?” he shot back with a chortle, “What are the odds?”

“Well, like I said before–we have our connections.” she touched the tip of his nose with her fingertip to tease him, “So don’t think you’ve gotten rid of me just yet.”

“How will I ever be able to concentrate on my meeting when I have a siren serenading me all night?  Tell me, will you be wearing that little red dress again?”

“Maybe.” she giggled, “If that’s what you’d like to see me in…”

“I’d much rather see you like this.”

“If you’re lucky and patient, perhaps we can arrange that.” she traced his jaw with her fingertip as she explained to him her situation, “I work until close, so you’ll have to wait on me.”

Aymeric stopped her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm, “However long it takes if it means I get to spend my last night here with you.”

“This time, I do expect a bottle of wine.”

“I assure you, you will not be disappointed.”

[alissyyy]

I started taking my adhd meds (diagnosed ADHD, self diagnosed autism) and I think I’ve gotten more intolerant to sudden changes. It used to be that someone would spring something (hey, we’re going out for dinner tonight ok?) and I’d be like “now?”, adjust my expectations within 15 minutes or during the car ride there, and deal. Deal not great, but not poorly either.

Cut to almost two weeks on my new ADHD meds and my mom asks me to go grocery shopping. I think, okay, I can do that, we’ll just go there and back.

On the way out, she stops in the food court and wanders around asking me if I want any food because she’s hungry. “What do you want? Does this look good? Here, get a drink!” It’s a very small food court and she wanders around to all of them, leisurely scrolling through the digital menu while I’m shaking behind her getting increasingly annoyed because I thought we were only here to go shopping? I’m still holding the groceries?? There’s raw meat in here??? But I can stand it if I just don’t focus on that, if I just focus on sitting down and readjusting my expectations for the day, then I can wait her out. She eventually meanders back saying nothing interested her.

On the way back home, she goes, “oh, I want dinner from this restaurant, you know how to drive there right, can we drive there?” And I agree because she’s wanted this food for the past two days and I’ve vetoed her before, and also she’s hungry and will be miserable if I don’t. I think, “ok, so we’ll just go back there, pick up some take out, and come back.” I ask her to call and order and drive there.

We get there and I feel a sense of relief. In 10-15 minutes, I will be back home. Where I expected to be. A long time ago. My mom opens the door and “wow! There are so many tables open! Let’s sit here and eat!” I go “No!” And I’m so swept up by an onslaught of stress that I can’t express anything but my visceral need to get away from the possibility of sitting in a restaurant eating food I’m not hungry for just because my mom is with the discomfort that comes with being in public—the fact that there was only one other table occupied makes it worse! That’s more attention! I didn’t prepare myself for this! How could you suggest such a thing! In fact I say it more. “No no no!”

Finally my mom gets the notion that I’m at my limit for the day. She concedes and I drive us home. I drop everything to lock my room door and curl into my bed.

My grandpa used to work for an airline for a very long time (30+ yrs and like, regional manager), so some people of his choosing get to fly standby for free. It’s pretty awesome.

The only thing not awesome is that you have to be aware that you have no guarantee of a seat. Availablility changes all the time. You could have a flight plan with a transfer in the middle and that second plane has no seats for you, so you’re stuck at that airport until the next day.

It means that when looking for seats, you have to be aware how many seats are open and how likely you’ll get that seat, as well as have contingencies in case you don’t get on. (The last flight of the day usually has a lot of seats open, but if any of the preceeding flights got canceled then whoop those 27 seats you were counting on are gone. And now you’re stuck. And sometimes flights without enough people are cancelled. No 58 availablility for you. Crazy times can have -16 seats available with like 32 ppl waiting. Typically it hovers in the single digits, occasionally -1, with a handful of people already waiting) Some stuff I do are take morning flights (people miss them more often) and make sure there are multiple flights available going to my final destination. I usually am looking at tickets a few days in advance (also take into account weather and other things that might cause sudden cancellations)

So now you get that, my mom wanted me to deliver something to my sibling who’s at college. My dad brought them their computer but they packed the wrong cable and it won’t turn on. She was like, “they need it asap! Can you leave tomorrow?”

Leave tomorrow?! The fuck????

It is 8pm! That means I have to get a ticket NOW and CHECK IN and PACK and SLEEP RIGHT NOW

not to mention I THOUGHT I’D BE AT HOME TOMORROW! And the day after! And the day after that!

Why did I agree? I’d say I have no idea why, but I have an inkling.

My initial response is to say “no, fuck no, why the shit would you think I’d agree.” But that’s my initial response. I’m taking an unexpected gap year to address my raging ADHD so I have nothing truly concrete planned like school. I have the tickets and the ability, and I need to push myself into doing uncomfortable things anyway, right? So I can inundate myself to stress, or something.

So I spend like an hour and a half in a panicked frenzy getting myself tickets and calling myself and adjusting my worldview for the next couple days and then she barges in the middle like “hey oh btw you have nothing planned right, your grandparents want you to go visit them you can just get tickets and live with them right, and I was like oh but how will you communicate and your grandpa was like we’ll just use an app, you can speak into it, and he can speak into it, isn’t technology great—” and she goes on and on and on and on and I’m like “CAN YOU NOT SEE IM IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING” and she’s like “oh don’t be like that, you can do more than one thing” and goes to poke me like I’m some fascinating roadkill so I smack her hand away (it crashes into her face :|) and yell GET OUT GET OUT LEAVE ME ALONE

She leaves. It is all quiet for a next while, because I am curled into a ball and rocking myself. It doesn’t really help. I go to my room door, yank it open. And scream. It’s like a guttural scream and I’ve never done that before. I stop, take a deep breath, and scream some more. It is pure stress. It does not diminish any but it feels better than bottling it up.

I get myself my tickets. I grab my suitcase. I grab my passport. I check in. I alert friends I’ll be out of town.

I call my dad. Anything you need me to bring? Oh, why am I flying out so suddenly?

We talk through the situation and no, nothing is urgent. I do not need to fly tomorrow. My brother can survive without his PC, he has his laptop. Why the urgency? Why are you so stressed out? I start crying.

We make plans to instead fly out the next week. I cancel my tickets, put my luggage back, and cry some more. For 30 minutes. Just sobbing.

I’ve never had such a visceral reaction like this. I usually just shut down, tuck myself into a corner and don’t make a peep. Maybe cry a bit. I have noticed that my meds blunt my anxiety a bit (enough so I can work through instead of internally collapsing) but also draws out the anxiety for longer (even after the task is done delayed and blunted euphoria too). I think I feel more too. Or feel more emotions stronger. Enough that I can recognize them.

Before meds I’d never enter this situation because the ramping anxiety would be so high I’d never do it. Nope. Begone, witch.

The point of these stories? Being on meds is fucking wild. I’ve heard of more autistic traits emerging from the depths after ADHD is a little more handled, but what the fresh hell is this.

Does anyone else experience this? Like on meds, off meds, or this is your daily life? My heart goes out to you

[aerikaye]

maybe life transitions aren't bad at all

it's been 8 months already since we moved out from my grandma's house.

a lot has changed. like a LOT.

from having the chance to go out every night to buy whatever food i'm craving (convenience stores are just steps away), waking up super early to do my morning walk, buying french vanilla coffee whenever i feel the need to stay awake, having random kwentuhan with lola - these are just few things i'm really missing from the life i had back then at maragondon.

it was then november last year when things got extremely messy and the disrespect thrown towards me, mommy, and my partner was unbearable. as much as we love taking care of lola and the house, we had no choice but to go.

i lived there for a decade and (?) years so staying here emptied my heart for a while. december supposed to be my favorite month - beside the fact that it is my birth month, i get to spend my first christmas with micoh. photo of first time arranging my desk and my bf and mommy preparing bfast <3

here's how my birthday went last year. bf and i went to paskomiket to see talented artists and buy stuff to support them. it was my dream to finally attend an art con! also finally got to see ayala christmas lights! i've always wondered how it looked like when i was a kid :D

now my days are filled with so much love and peace. the smell of fried rice in the early morning, micoh cooking for me at every chance he gets, watching feel-good movies, doing groceries - well some days can feel mundane but honestly i'm grateful of where i am today. i can now finally take mommy on random mall dates and eat a nice lunch or dinner! i almost forgot - i took her to la union! my very first out of town trip. i'm so happy and i can't wait to travel the world with her and micoh. anyways here's a photo of my dog being excited over his lunch!

this life transition shaped me to be who i am today. back then i was a people pleaser with 0 boundaries (idk how to say "no" to people), i realized how bad it was to always adjust myself to other people. simply putting my feelings aside, being agreeable, and not being able to speak for myself drained the hell out of me.

this doesn't mean i'll stop being soft. i'm still soft and a cheerful giver but with healthy boundaries. i only wish nothing but a peaceful and comfortable life for me, micoh, mommy, ice, and my soon to be little one. i can't wait to meet him.

2023 is at its half and there's still so many things to look forward on. i enjoy this slow living environment. i'm grateful for everything i have right now and for what's coming my way in the future. i treasure my friends and supprt system who checks up on me and make time to talk. i am proud of who i am becoming. i feel blessed and at peace with myself.

that's all. talk to u in my next life transition! :)

love,

aeri