#i am pacing in my cage like a rabid animal

[gothoevsky]

THEM… WAHHHH,

[concentratedbitterness]

The Message

Mobile Alchemy Lab; Purgatory - February 4, 2025

The only announcement of Fig's arrival is the soft sizzle of a spent cigarette being extinguished on her tongue.  “You smell like wolf,” the Genesis mutters under her breath, but clearly loud enough that Rose is certain she was intended to hear it.  It’s as generous a greeting as she’s like to get today; this version may be integral to holding a single surviving timeline together, but it would seem the universe exacts a price for bestowing such a tool.  The woman is an insufferable cunt.  

So it goes. “The barracks get cold at night,” she replies nonchalantly, the hardware holding her lab chair to its base squealing in protest as she leans back and spins it slowly around to face the Genesis.  Fig’s shaggy, short cropped hair has grown out almost to her shoulders; dark strands brushing the well worn collar of her drab Siatris fatigues.  Rose’s eyes are drawn as usual to the little prancing unicorn patch sewn precariously onto the breast, what were once bright threads tattered from wear and colored in with black sharpie.  “What do you care?” Fig smiles like a viper.  “I don’t.”

Aggravation as a contact sport obviously can’t be the only reason why she’s here, though Rose can’t exactly be sure to what she owes the privilege (or the curse) of Fig’s company.  “You’re supposed to be lying low.  It’s not a good idea for you to be here, someone might recognize y–” “Luna says you already fucked everything up anyway.” A dark shadow pulls across Rose’s countenance, and she has to remind herself not to squeeze the glass of cream in her hand so hard lest it shatter.  “Look, there was a miscalculation.  I’m gettin’ shit back on track, it’s just gonna’ take some time.”  The affirmation sounds less convincing when spoken aloud than it does in her head.  She can see from the wry little smirk tugging at Fig’s lips that she isn’t fooling anyone. With the grace of a dancer and the aura of a predator, the Genesis steps past the still obliterated wall of cabinetry; a fingertip idly tracing an indentation on one of the metal doors recently made by Doctor Gryder’s face.  “What’s Nathan say?”

“Haven’t gotten an update from him in some time.” “What do you mean?” Rose frowns, preparing for whatever direction this line of questioning will lead.  “I mean there’s no way to communicate directly without riskin’ his cover.  The protocol is for him to contact us.”  “You haven’t seen him?” “Maybe you’ve forgotten, but Hell ain’t exactly known for their open travel policy, Fig…” Rose regrets the words as soon as they leave her tongue, but it’s too late to un-step on that particular sore spot.  Still, she raises her free hand to placate her comrade, “--I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Fig’s dead eyed stare is not reassuring, nor is her silence.  Both last an uncomfortably long moment.  “Get him a message.” “I can’t.” “Make your Aunt do it.” It is Rose’s turn to bristle.  “I can’t make my Aunt do anything, and even if she would, it’s reckless and unnecessary.”

“So?” “So it’s not gonna’ happen.” There’s a deadening thud as Fig drives her fist straight into the remnants of the cabinet and through the steel outer wall of the lab.  Frigid cold rushes in and plunges the temperature inside the trailer even as ice instantly begins to freeze around the exposed opening. 

“Jesus Christ,” she drawls just like her grandfather.  “How am I supposed to explain that to Han?”  

“I don’t fucking care,” Fig shoots back, shaking the debris from her fingers as she turns to pace across the room.  A cloyingly sweet scent begins to permeate the space as she pulls another clove cigarette from her pocket and ignites it.

Rose slumps in her chair, taking a much needed swig from her glass as she watches the Genesis pace about like some kind of caged animal.  The one she’d known from her own long dead timeline had always been so docile and unerringly sweet natured.  Not at all like this Fig; a veritable rabid honeybadger strapped to an unstable nuclear warhead.  How it must have shattered Nathan’s heart to make her this way.  Sigh. “What do you wanna’ tell him?” she asks softly over the rim of her glass, cautious not to spook the beast. “Are you fucking with me now?” Fig demands from behind her cloud of fragrant smoke. The lab chair creaks as Rose leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees.  “If I can get a message through.  Which is a big if.  But if.  What do you wanna’ tell him?”    

An icy gust of wind howls outside, whistling through the fresh hole in the wall and dispersing the cigarette smoke enough that Rose can make out the glaze of frustration shining in Fig’s eyes.  “Tell him…Tell him I said–” 

The glass nearly tumbles from Rose’s hand as she whips her head around to see the door fly open; cream sloshing over her fingers and onto the floor at her feet.  The unrelenting cold pours through the doorway right alongside the heavily bundled forms of Sidirov and Gus.  Her eyes shoot over to the spot where Fig had been standing, though not a trace remains of the Genesis save for the smoke in the air and the still smoldering clove cigarette on the counter.  A breath of relief escapes her. “Te traje algo de cena,” Augusto informs her cheerfully, pulling a thermos from the inner pocket of his parka.  Sidirov shuts the door behind them, though it does little to guard them from the cold air carried upon the gusting winds outside through the laboratory’s wall. “English, Gus,” Rose admonishes gently, “You need to practice your English.” “Lo siento,” he laughs, oblivious to the thundering of her pulse.  “Dee-nar, si? Dinner?”   

“Yeah, that’s right.”  She musters a smile, “Thanks for makin’ the chow run, fellas.” Her gaze slides from the Spaniard to the werewolf.  Sid doesn’t say anything–he seldom does–but she can see his breath misting as he stands there with his attention on the damaged wall. A beat later and she is met with a look.  “Don’t ask.  Y'all wanna’ help me patch that before Han sees it?  I’ll owe you one.” 

[tanzrielle]

Xerxes paced back and forth in the bar that had since been abandoned by those he had met with earlier. He paced like a caged, bloodthirsty animal waiting to swipe through the bars at the next thing that moved.

He was livid.

He needed to do something.

No.

He needed to wait. But he knew the kinds of things Victoria must be feeling right now. Maybe even worse. To be tortured and....’Rehabilitated’ by your own family, people you love, must hurt worse than any wound.

And it angered him. He was ordered not to act on his own. To wait.

It made him sick.

All it took to reduce him to a screaming, weeping mess was a week. A week at a Twilight camp that was then burned down. He was not the same person he was when first captured.

He feared the same would happen to Victoria.

Remembering the things he went through brought a feeling of sickness over him. The feeling brought him back to reality and he finally took a seat at the bar. Soft footsteps approaching from behind made him seethe anew.

He recognized Aliverre’s footsteps. And he knew what was coming, too. A lecture. A look of disappointment. He heard him stop at the table behind him. The silence that followed was deafening.

“Haven’t seen you around in a while.” Xerxes said, choking down his aggression.

“Same to you.” Aliverre said, sitting at the table.

Aliverre looked tired. His hair, usually nicely kept, was a disaster and his robes were stained with dried blood. He looked over at Xerxes with mild irritation. “Heard you got promoted. Congratulations.” He said.

“Thanks.” Xerxes replied flatly.

That’s right, he was an Overseer now. He had....Authority. Responsibility. The weight of his decision to accept the rank made him feel sick with anxiety. He needed to shape up now. He couldn’t keep acting the way he was.

But how was he supposed to just sit here and let this all happen? He told those men, the ones Victoria brought with her, to stay in one piece. One of them mentioned a wife. How was he supposed to sit here and do nothing? They were all dead now.

He gripped the edge of the stone counter and didn’t stop applying force until he heard the stone crack.

Something dark was rising inside of him again. Deep, burning hatred. A hatred that fueled the sha that still resided within him. He hadn’t been able to get it out. Maybe he was afraid to take it out. Surely it would manifest into a gruesome, powerful monster at this point.

“I’m going to cut to the chase.” Aliverre said, looking at him directly. “I know what you’re thinking, and I’m going to tell you to calm down.” He added sharply.

“How the fuck do you know what I’m thinking? You weren’t even there. Where have you been, anyways?” Xerxes snapped, turning to look at him. “Sure coulda used a healer of your skill tonight.” He hissed with the tilt of his head. Aliverre always jabbed at him like this, so he figured he should return the favor.

The look that Aliverre gave him....Almost didn’t fit on his face. It almost looked like it belonged on his own instead. It was dark, angry, and sharp.

“I’ve been on Kul’tiras and Zandalar, helping the war effort. I’m still a member of the Alliance military, you know. Can’t exactly shirk those duties.” Aliverre responded flatly.

“Oh, so wasting your time.” Xerxes replied. He held back a smirk as he saw Aliverre’s eye twitch. It felt so good to get under his skin for once.

“I’ve saved plenty of lives. I don’t consider that wasted time.”

“Yeah, but you’re like....Never around. Would anyone miss you if you never came back?”

Xerxes let himself smile softly as Aliverre rose from his seat and walked over to him. His auburn haired counterpart gripped the back of his chair.

“Yeah. I know at least one person would miss me if I died. And for them, I keep fighting.” Aliverre said. “You? What even are your goals, Xerxes? My goal is to save lives. Is yours to become a monster?”

A gray mist escaped Xerxes’ mouth as he stood from his chair to look Aliverre in the eyes. Almost...Instinctively, his hand wrapped around Aliverre’s throat. Aliverre didn’t move. He continued glaring straight into Xerxes’ eyes.

“It’s kind of funny how we’re the same person, yet nothing alike. If anything, you’re the embodiment of everything I ever feared I’d become.” Aliverre said. “Do you like being such an erratic lunatic?”

“Do you like being an inch away from dying?” Xerxes hissed. “You’re a mockery of everything I’ve become.”

“Good. Then I’ll mock you until you realize what a childish, violent, hate fueled, void addled lunatic you are and pull yourself together. YOU are the only one impressed with yourself. Nobody takes you seriously because you act like an idiot ALL THE TIME.” Aliverre snapped.

“Careful, you’re so delicate I might accidentally crush your windpipe.”

“I’ll say it as many times as I want. You are a childish, violent, hate fueled, void addled lunatic. You have yet to prove me wrong. Let’s not leave out impulsive, either. I came here because I KNEW you’d try to do something reckless after that mission.”

“Yeah, and? Why do you care?”

“Because I don’t want you to be the next threat the Collective has to kill because you got caught and broke.”

Something else snapped inside Xerxes. It made him grip Aliverre even tighter, visibly unsettling the priest. He grabbed Xerxes’ wrist.

“I will not BREAK. Even with all I’ve been through, I haven’t broken. I’m still me. I am unbreakable.” Xerxes growled.

“That’s a lie and you know it. You are who you are because you BROKE.”

“I DIDN’T BREAK.”

“YES YOU DID! IF YOU DIDN’T BREAK, YOU WOULDN’T BE LIKE THIS. YOU’D BE MORE AT PEACE WITH YOURSELF, XERXES.”

“I’M PERFECTLY AT PEACE WITH MYSELF.” Xerxes roared, tightening his grip and making Aliverre struggle to break free.

“Y-you broke...A-and that’s alright...! Nobody is  unbreakable, Xerxes....” Aliverre managed, digging his nails into Xerxes’ skin. “ Y-you just need a little help...”

“I don’t need help. ESPECIALLY from you.” Xerxes growled.

“Y-you do need help...B-before somebody breaks you again because you think you’re unbreakable.” Aliverre whispered.

Xerxes growled and shoved him away. Aliverre stumbled back, landing on his rear and gripping his throat, gasping for air.

“I didn’t break. No matter how much torture and torment I have been through, I didn’t break. I just chose a more offensive path to walk because I was tired of being HURT.”

“And how far have you come?” Aliverre said.

“Far enough to be able to dish out the same pain that was done to me.”

“Mentally.”

Xerxes remained quiet, unsure of how to answer. Of course he’d grown mentally. Right?

“ You’re the same as you were back then, just angrier and full of hatred. If I took those two emotions away, you’d be just like you used to be.” Aliverre said, sitting up.straight.

“You’re wrong.” Xerxes snapped.

“I don’t think so.”

Xerxes growled. In another movement that almost felt....Not his own, he stepped forward and kicked his leg high, nailing Aliverre in the face and breaking his nose. Aliverre yelped in pain as he scooted backwards, gripping his nose.

Xerxes only stared. He didn’t mean to do that, did he?

“See what I mean?” Aliverre said. “Angry, hate filled and impulsive.”

Xerxes only continued to stare. He couldn’t reply.  Aliverre was exactly right. He reached a hand out tentatively, only for it to be harshly smacked away.

“Don’t touch me.” Aliverre hissed as a gentle golden light filled in the hand on his nose.“You’re becoming like an animal, Xerxes. A rabid animal.”

Xerxes didn’t respond still. He only hastily made his way to the door.

“Where are you going?” Aliverre asked as he healed his nose.

“Somewhere private. Maybe...Maybe I need....to reset.” Xerxes said, racing down the hall.

Aliverre frowned. Well, that didn’t sound good. He wondered if he should chase after him. Perhaps not, he knew it would just end the same way it always did. He continued to sit on the floor, mulling over the things he had said.

Xerxes really brought the worst out of him, didn’t he?

[happywitch416]

Chapter 20

Rhena and Muriel gazed out over the vast frozen plain. The ground was hard beneath their feet and it spread endlessly and unbroken into the horizon. "The Shining Steppe. This is where I was born."

Rhena still shivered beneath the layers she was wearing under Nadia's cloak. Morga had already given her derisive opinion of her delicate sensibilities. Rhena couldn't be bothered to care. "It's beautiful." He gave her an arched look at that and she shrugged self consciously drawing the cloak tighter about her. "I am cold, not blind." A little huff of laughter left them both. "Is it like you remembered?" She asked softly.

Muriel was quiet for a long moment. "Flashes here and there, nothing specific. Probably for the best."

She studied him thoughtfully. "Do you have any good memories?"

"Good memories?" She nodded and frowning he stared out at the tundra. Inanna startled him as she headbutted his hand. "Yes, meeting you wasn't a terrible memory, Inanna." She stared up at him very pointedly. It made Rhena's nose twitch as she watched them. "I guess it's happy. Sort of." 

"Would you tell me?"

He shifted. "I'm not really good at telling stories." Inanna woofed and he sighed leaning down to scratch her ears. "I was still a gladiator, I told you Lucio had me perform executions." His voice grew an edge. "Sometimes he'd get bored, throw me in there with rabid animals to shake things up." Rhena felt her heart in her throat, knowing what he was going to say next. "That day, he put me in the arena with Inanna."

She looked at them, a bemused smile forming. Inanna looked very pleased. "I am assuming he didn't get what he wanted." 

He shook his head. "No."

Inanna woofed. "I didn't forget, I just didn't say it." She woofed again. "She says Lucio caught her when she attacked his army as it marched through the forest. Anyway." He said with a look to Inanna when she made a whuffling sound. "When they opened her cage, she was starving. Her fur dirty. I expected her to attack me but she just sat there." A small smile appeared. "Lucio was furious. Docile wolves don't make for good entertainment." Inanna licked his hand, tail thumping. "And I knew I couldn't do it anymore." He continued a little quickly. "She was innocent. She hadn't done anything except defend her home from invaders. Everyone else I had faced were criminals. And they fought back. But not her. She looked me in the eyes and waited. So I took my axe and broke down the gates keeping us in the arena and we ran." 

"Both of you."

"Both of us. I could have left, I could have walked out on my own whenever I wanted. But I didn't until her." A tired sigh moved his shoulders. "I thought she'd leave when we got to the forest. Instead, she stayed. Still hasn't left." At the last sentence he smiled, wide and genuine before pressing his forehead to Inanna’s. "Without her I'd still be in that arena." He looked up, flushing across every inch of skin she could see. "Story's over. Let's get moving." Rhena gently scratched under Inanna’s chin as she watched him head out over the tundra.

Chapter 21

"Make sure he comes back in one piece." Rhena heard Morga say softly as Rhena went into the darkness after Muriel, summoning a ball of light as she went. Morga was hard on them, true, but she had grown to like the woman too. Morga reminded her of her Anassa and Nana. A wolf howl led her to the stream, and the figure huddled next to it. 

Inanna paced before him but he looked up as the light reached them. His eyes were red and her heart ached. "Go away." She reached out gently, he looked so small under the vast sky. He jerked away from her. "Don’t." She nodded and dropped to the ground before him and waited, for as long as he needed her to.  She gently toyed with her medallion, her fingers occasionally brushed the charm next to it.  Finally, he spoke. "I don't want to hurt you." 

"I know." She said softly.

"Do you? How can you?"

"You told me you wouldn't." She was calm, sure of her words and hands falling still in her lap as her head fell to one side to watch him. 

"It doesn't matter what I say. My hands are stained with blood. You don't." His breath caught in his throat. "You don't just forget that. People don't just change." The tears that had formed in his eyes slipped down his cheeks. "This is who I am." 

Rhena shook her head. "No." She met his shocked gaze, her eyes steady and bright with their sunshine glow. "I trust you, Muriel." 

"I don't trust myself."

 "I can prove it." She took his hands squeezing gently when he tried to pull away and he stilled. 

"How? By fighting? I know how that goes! You." He choked out. "Bloody at my feet like everyone else." Rhena's heart ached at the pain in his eyes, the fear. "You have to let me leave. You're too important to hurt." 

He tried to pull away but Rhena was faster with her knees under her. Her lips met his for a brief moment. He stopped trying to escape, his hands hovering awkwardly. "What are you doing." 

Rhena gave a short huff of embarrassed laughter as she pulled away a little, hand still wrapped in the front of his cloak. "Not a great job at kissing you apparently."

He stared at her, a million things rushing through his mind and across his face. "Why."

"I." She floundered, flushing and letting go of him. "I don't want you to leave." 

"So you kissed me."

Rhena fell back to sit on her heels again, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. "Yes?"

"Okay." He said with a slight nod, still sitting still and not trying to get away. "It was." Rhena perked up a little as he struggled to find the words. 

After a moment, she gave him a shy smile, her eyes sparkling. "Should I try again?" She chewed the inside of her lip as his face turned into a kaleidoscope of red.

"It wouldn't be." He spluttered. "I mean." A mumbled stream of words left his mouth so fast she didn't catch it. At her quizzical look, he said it again. "It wouldn't be the worst thing."

She leaned up a little on her knees again, giving him time to escape if he wanted, her one hand steadying herself against his bicep. He stared out over her shoulder and she smiled a little before brushing her lips against his. He leaned forward, nose gently bumping hers as he softly kissed her back, his hands gentle at her back and waist, holding her like she was priceless. 

Rhena pulled away for breath, eyes fluttering open as the sky began to glow with light, ribbons dancing across the sky in a thousand colors. Muriel looked upwards and watched them. She had heard of the southern lights, but none of the descriptions had done them justice. How the colors were so bright even as they shifted, like an endless song dancing through the stars. Her gaze kept returning to him. She knew he was the same Muriel, but he wasn't either. Her eyes roved his face and shoulders before it hit her with a spark of happiness. "The chains are gone." Her voice was quiet and filled with wonder. 

He started, checking his wrists and finding them gone before his hands went to his throat. The collar was gone too. Rhena leaned back, searching but they were lying on the ground beside them. "I don't understand."

Rhena reached out, fingers gently running along the scars on his wrists. "They were from the Coliseum." 

"Yes. To remind me." He picked them up, studied them a moment before hurling them as hard as he could into the darkness. He watched where they went for a moment before turning back to Rhena, lacing his fingers with hers. "Thank you." 

 "I didn't do anything." She shook her head with a soft smile.

"No, you." He took a deep breath. "You did. All I've ever done is run away. I don’t. I don’t know how to do anything else. But you." He met her eyes before staring down at their hands, both of them twined together now. "You came and you wouldn’t let me. You expected more from me." He looked a little ashamed as he continued. "Even when I was mean. Even when I tried to drive you away." He flushed. "And you are patient. You give me time to talk, even when I'm not good at it." 

"I'm not always great at it." She fidgeted, thumbs brushing against his knuckles. "It's hard sometimes." 

"You're better than me." 

She gave him a bright little smile. "We can get better together then."

"I'd like that." He looked away then, truly away. "Sorry for running off." 

"Morga would drive the forest to the end of their patience." She said tartly. He stood and pulled her up, keeping her close to him. "I'm glad you are coming back to camp." He smiled a little at that but it turned to a scowl with her next words. "She's going to keep at it about the sparring."

He sighed. "Nothing sharp, hand to hand only."

Rhena's eyes rounded and a shaky laugh left her. "I don't know how. If they got that close my training was run away before they get that close."

"I'll show you." He leaned down towards her when a sound from the stream interrupted them. Water was bubbling rapidly and spreading out to form a smooth surface. "Rhena?"

"Not me." She said softly and called small stones to her as she edged to the stream. She peered into the smooth surface and the rocks thudded to the ground. "Asra?!"

Asra and Nadia peered up at her, a third figure coming into view. Julian waved with a chuckle. "Fancy seeing you there, Rhena."

A moment of silence was followed by everyone speaking at once, Nadia worried when the horses arrived without them, Asra asked a thousand questions, Julian a thousand more. Finally they fell into silence again and it was Muriel who spoke. "We're alive. Are the horses okay?" Rhena nodded anxiously beside him. The smelly things had grown on her. 

Asra laughed. "They are fine, if a little dirty. We were more worried about you two. When they came back without you." He ran a hand through his hair, his laughter disappearing like smoke. "We feared the worst."

Relief had filled Nadia's face. "We are all quite glad to see you alive and well, to be honest." She paused a moment. "Are you? Well, I mean."

"It's been a bit of a disaster but we are fine now." The three faces stared up at them not looking the least bit convinced. "We’re alive and that's what matters." She added.

"Not for long if Lucio has his way." Rhena debated kicking his shin.

"Tell us everything."

Chapter 22

Muriel had headed back to camp but Rhena stayed to speak to Asra, even with the twinkle in his eyes. "You and Muriel, hm?" He didn't say anything else, but his smile widened when Rhena flushed.

"Yes, me and Muriel-."

He lit up. "Really? Like really really?'' Rhena smiled, his glee infectious. "I knew it. This is so exciting, tell me everything." Rhena laughed but his grin faltered. "I mean you don't have to if you don't want to. Of course. I just. It's really good to hear that he's opening up." 

"Well." Rhena caught him up on everything. It was like being back at the shop, her and Asra kicked back at the table and just talking. When she got to the kiss, he gasped and clapped.

"He kissed you back." She nodded, half hidden in her cloak but grinning. "I’m so proud of him. And you." He straightened his shoulders and attempted to look serious. "When's the wedding?"

Rhena gave him a grin that made her nose crinkle. "Tomorrow, I think. Inanna agreed to officiate." Asra laughed, deep and long. He hasn't been this happy in a long time. She thought affectionately.

"That's probably a little fast for him." Rhena chuckled as he continued. "I've known him a long time, you know." He gave her a sly grin. "The day after tomorrow then, I'll wrestle Inanna to see who officiates." Rhena laughed but it fizzled out when Asra grew somber. "It's been a long time since I've seen him this happy. Life," Asra sighed. "It got crueler, and crueler. And worse when the plague came. And we ran. But. He ran further, into himself. It always felt like something was missing. He didn't smile a lot." Asra gave her a conspiratorial grin. "And every time he thought you weren't looking, he was beaming at you." 

Rhena's heart thudded and her voice squeaked. "Really?"

"Really.” He said with a grin before sobering again. “I don't know what the future has in store. With everything happening, all the moving pieces. But I know how strong you are, how strong Muriel is. Together you can take on anything."

She nodded as he stood away from the water. "Wait!" He stopped, brow raised. "Sweets?"

He grinned. "Waiting for news, hee's keeping the chickens company." 

She smiled. "He's going to give them complexes."

"I'll keep in touch okay?" They waved and the magic disappeared, leaving her alone on the tundra, but her heart was happy.

Heart of the Wood