#i am not taking that lame excuse of “he looks like sans to confuse people” he is not a sans so why he would look like sans?

[buubonita]

I still despite how LAZY canon Nightmare design is so please, PLEASE, if anyone haves redesigns i wanna see them.

HE DESERVES BETTER.

[iwaisa]

request. (Sorry if this is too angsty for you, just delete it if not!!) But could I request Kuroo, Bokuto, and Daichi with a reader (gender doesn't matter and hc or anything) whos more of a people pleaser, like they put anyone else's needs before their own? And then one day they just snap and they help the reader so I guess with a fluffy end?? Ty sorry again!! - anon

a/n. hey anon ! this is such a cute request (especially since i am a people pleaser lol) don’t be sorry! i’m here to write whatever your heart desires! i really hope i interpreted this correctly! also, there was no relationship specified, so i just assumed it was a romantic relationship. have an amazing day/night, anon! <3

kuroo, bokuto, and daichi with a people pleaser s/o

- genre. angst to fluff

- pairings. kuroo, bokuto, and daichi x gender neutral reader

- warnings. none

- key. 

c/l/n - classmate’s last name

f/f/n - friend’s first name

► now shuffling...

kuroo sat in his classroom tapping his pencil against his desk as he waited for you - his s/o - to walk into class

what he didn’t expect to see was you being bombarded with people 

“l/n-san! please give me the answers to last night's homework!”

you attempted to wave off the group of people as you made your way to your seat, yet much to your dismay, the group didn’t disperse

“l/n-san please! i had basketball last night and i didn’t have enough time to do it!” another person spoke up

the others agreed, making lame excuses for why they were simply too lazy to complete a one-paged worksheet

kuroo rolled his eyes and pushed his chair out from under his desk, walking over towards you

he slung his arm around his shoulder, “‘morning, sunshine.”

you felt your heart stutter at the name, but you were quickly snapped out of your moment when someone leaned over your desk to continue pestering you

“l/n-san please, sensei is gonna give me detention if i don’t finish this homework!”

“and why couldn’t you do it?” kuroo chimed in

“i had baseball! i got home late and i was so exhausted-”

kuroo cut him off, “and you couldn’t find any time to do a single-paged worksheet?”

the boy was attempting to stutter out an excuse, but kuroo was not having it

“just leave my s/o alone. do the homework yourselves.”

“tetsu, it’s okay, i don’t mind,” you spoke up

the rest of your classmates began cheering as you handed them your worksheet

kuroo frowned at you, “f/n, i know you feel bad for them, but they’re only excuses, you know that right?”

you patted his head and assured him that you were okay with giving out your homework as long as you saw your classmates happy

this carried on for weeks; you would walk into class, and would instantly be bombarded with people asking for your homework

and each time, kuroo would watch as you instantly handed it over telling them that you would be happy to

kuroo has had enough; he couldn’t stand seeing his s/o being pushed around like that

after school, you and kuroo walked to the gymnasium for his volleyball practice, when a classmate approached you

“l/n-san! i won’t be able to do my homework tonight since i have dance, so can i please have your notebook!” your classmate bowed, hands clapped together above her head

you began reaching into your bag to pull said notebook out, until you felt a hand stop your movement

“c/l/n-san, i understand your schedule is busy, but i would appreciate it if you would stop guilt tripping my s/o into giving you the answers. they also have a very busy schedule, and it’s getting tiring seeing them be pushed around as if they aren’t human too,” kuroo said through gritted teeth

you stared at your boyfriend, wondering what had gotten into him

your thoughts were quickly interrupted when you felt kuroo pulling you into the gym

he turned around and wrapped his arms around you, “i hate seeing them use you like that, f/n.”

he nuzzled his face into your neck as you chuckled, “i promise i won’t let them do that anymore, tetsu. i’ve been getting better about saying no to people, as much as it hurts to see them sad.”

he nodded and pulled back, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your lips, “i’m glad to hear that.”

you and bokuto walked down the hallways of fukurōdani high talking and laughing, until one of your friends walked up to you to confront you about missing out on a karaoke get-together

they continued scolding you as bokuto simply watched from the side, confused as to why your friend was talking to you like that

“i-i’m sorry f/f/n-san. i promise i’ll go to karaoke with you guys tonight!”

they continued the confrontation, even after you had already apologized

bokuto tilted his head in confusion as he watched you continue to apologize

he felt himself growing annoyed with your so-called friend’s constant condemning, so he took it upon himself to step in

“hey hey hey! they already apologized, what’s the big deal?” he asked while pulling you into his side

your friend just ignored bokuto, and continued to walk past, letting one more negative comment slip

bokuto watched as your figure seemed to deflate

“hey hey! emo mode is my thing, f/n! don’t be sad! they’re no good for you if they keep making you feel bad, y’know,” he pouted, crouching down in front of you

“i’m sorry, kou.”

he assured you it was okay, and the two of you continued walking to class with him rubbing circles into your back with his hand

however, this problem remained unsolved

your friend only continued to chastise you, and your mood was worse than ever

soon enough, the only thing you could find yourself saying was sorry

this also did not go by unnoticed by your loving boyfriend, who unfortunately was not there this time as your friend approached you

“f/n-san!” your friend whined

“what’s wrong?” you asked, tilting your head

“the notes you gave me were wrong! i just failed my chemistry test!” they continued

you took the notes and skimmed over them

“b-but i just wrote down what the teacher had on the board, h-how could they be wrong?”

your friend continued, “i don’t know! ugh, i just failed a super important test because of this!”

you felt tears welling in your eyes at your current predicament

“i-i’m sorry, f/f/n-san. i’ll take better notes next time,” you sobbed

“ugh. it’s fine. stop crying will you?”

“s-sorry,”

“and stop apologizing! it’s annoying!”

your friend’s negative comments never ceased, and the tears continued streaming down your face

you looked up at your friend, only to see a familiar figure approaching from down the hall

“hey!!! f/n!!! i was looking for- h-hey! why are you crying?”

bokuto ran up to you and cupped your cheeks, wiping tear after tear away

“i-it’s my fault. i gave f/f/n-san the wrong notes. i’m sorry,” you choked out

bokuto asked to see the notes, and he read the pages

“but, these are the notes sensei told us to go over. these are the right notes!” he defended

“but i still failed my test because of your s/o! ugh! i knew i shouldn’t have trusted you to take the notes.”

bokuto felt his heart break at their comment

how could your ‘friend’ just say something like that? aren’t they supposed to be there for you? shouldn’t they be reassuring you that it was okay? shouldn’t they have taken their own notes in the first place?

bokuto’s mind ran at a mile a minute, until he turned around to face them

“you know, i would appreciate it a lot if you would stop terrorizing my s/o,” bokuto said darkly

he continued, “you’re no friend! you’re just using them! they’re trying their best and all you’re doing is criticizing them! you don’t deserve to be friends with someone as sweet as f/n!” 

with that, he grabbed your arm and dragged you off to a separate hallway

he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and blotted at your face, “f/n, you don’t have to deal with them anymore, okay?” 

he continued comforting and reassuring you until you were fit to go back to class

you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before entering the classroom, earning yourself a very giddy boyfriend for the rest of the day

your relationship with the captain of the karasuno volleyball team was smooth-sailing

the relationship between the two of you was nothing less than loving, and the two of you always supported each other

however, one thing daichi wished was different was that you would stop hiding your true feelings from him

he could read your face like a book; he knew exactly what emotion you were feeling at any given time, but you always brushed it off whenever he asked about it

it’s been six months since the two of you started dating, and he felt himself growing more anxious at the fact that at any given moment, all of your emotions would hit you at once and you would start breaking down

he wanted nothing more than to just be true to yourself and him

“hey, baby. how are you today?” daichi asked as you walked into the gymnasium

“i’m okay! how are you?” you gave him a quick kiss on the lips, but he didn’t fail to notice how your face seemed to be less expressive than usual

“are you sure you’re okay?” he questioned, cupping your face in his hands

“yeah, i’m fine! how are you?” 

he felt himself growing annoyed that you kept brushing his question off as if it were nothing

it seemed to him like you cared more about his well-being than your own

“i’m alright. did something happen today?” he kept pressing. no matter what, he wanted to get an answer out of you

“nope! how was practice?”

by this point, daichi’s blood was starting to boil. he wasn’t meaning to get mad at you, per se, he was getting angry at the fact that he felt so useless

he felt as if you were hiding something important from him - something he could most definitely help you with

he stopped walking, and he watched as you turned around and walked up to him, tilting your head

“f/n, i need to know if you’re actually okay. and please don’t lie to me.”

he watched your expression drop, and you furrowed your eyebrows

“w-why would you think something is wrong?”

he sighed, placing his hands on your shoulders

“i know you’re hiding something from me. and i’m not mad, i just want to be able to help my best friend and my s/o with anything that’s troubling them. so please, i want you to be honest.”

by now the tears were rushing down your cheeks, and daichi offered you a seat on a nearby bench

you waited until you could form coherent sentences until you began to narrate your god-awful day to your boyfriend

he listened carefully as you described your day; firstly, you woke up late so you were unable to eat breakfast, then you received a horrible grade on your test, and then you didn’t have any lunch money to buy food at the cafeteria. you were exhausted and you just wanted some food

daichi nodded his head as he reached into his bag to pull out a granola bar, which you accepted eagerly

“f/n, please don’t hesitate to admit whenever you’re feeling awful. it’s my job as your boyfriend to make you feel better, and i can’t do that when you’re hiding your feelings from me. promise me you’ll tell me when something’s bothering you?”

you nodded and hugged him, burying your face into his chest

“good,” he sighed in contentment as he watched you excitedly scarf down the rest of the granola bar

[ga-yuu]

Invitation to an another world~Shigehira route

I had accompanied Shigehira-kun to Kyoto to help him with his work.

Shigehira: “Finally, we can go back to Kamakura.”

Yuno: “Thank you for working hard, Shigehira-kun.”

Shigehira: “Thanks to you too. It ended earlier than planned because you helped me a lot. If you’d like to have a look around Kyoto, we have some time before we leave. What do you say? You don’t seem to be familiar with the capital yet, right?"

(It’s true that I haven’t had time to go sightseeing in the last few days.)

(I’m glad you care, but....)

Yuno: “Thank you, but it's fine. I love Kyoto, but I can’t wait to go back home with you.”

I know from our previous conversations that Kyoto is not a place where Shigehira-kun has good memories.

In addition, since his arrival in Kyoto, Shigehira-kun has been busy with his official duties.

(I want you to return to the Imperial Palace early and take a rest.)

Shigehira(smiling): “.......Oh. It’s a glamorous place to be and you should be enjoying yourself, but you’re still such an odd one.”

It felt like Shigehira-kun understood what I was thinking and he smiles dreamily.

Shigehira(smiling): “Take this, then.”

Shigehira-kun pulls out a small package from his sleeve which had a lovely red lipstick. (I'm referring to that gift as lipstick to make it easy.)

Yuno: “What is this?”

Shigehira: “I just bought it when I was in town for a visit. Just think of it as a thank you for helping me with my work. It’s popular in Kyoto these days. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to accept it.”

He says it curtly and looks away.

(It’s a gift from Shigehira....)

Yuno: “Thank you, I will take good care of it.”

Shigehira: “Not only that, I want you to use it properly, okay? If you don’t, there’s no point in giving it.”

His eyes as clear as the surface of the water and they reflect my image.

Then his smiling face approaches and kisses me softly.

Shigehira(smiling): “....When  we get home, I want to kiss you while you wear this."

A faint feverish cry tingles in the back of my chest.

Now we are both excited and embarrassed to return home....

While quitting my beating heart, I nodded back to Shigehira-kun.

...................

Before leaving, I was waiting outside at the gate for Shigehira-kun, who went to greet the owner of the mansion.

(He’s not here yet.)

As I gently stroke my bosom, where I have put away the red lipstick....

Akihito: “Hello, Yuno. You look like you're having a great time. ....What are you doing out here all alone?" (AAAAHHHHH!!!!AKIHITO-SAMA!!!!)

Yuno: "! You're Akihito-sama."

Akihito(smiling): "You don't have to be so formal. I wish you would just address me as Akihito-san."

Yuno: "No. No. If I did, Yasuchika-san would be mad at me."

(Also I don't know Akihito-sama personally.)

(He can be a powerful Onmyoji like Yasuchika-san or maybe a high-ranking noble.)

(But certainly not a commoner.) (He's the king!!! of my heart.....Okay, that was lame.)

Every gesture is beautiful and refined, which makes me secretly nervous.

Yuno: "I had arrived in Kyoto to help out and today, I'm going back to Kamakura. What about you...?"

Akihito(smiling): "Really, I'm glad I was in time. Actually, I knew you were coming to Kyoto, so I came to see you."

Yuno: "Ah, to see me?"

(Why would you want to see me?)

Akihito(smiling): "......."

The moment our eyes meet, I feel a strange sensation as if everything is being seen through me.

(It feels like I can't lie or hide anything from this person.)

At that time, I heard Shigehira-kun's name.

A little further away, Shighira-kun is talking to a man who looks like a noble.

(Do they know each other? Also there's something a little unpleasant about him.)

The nobleman seemed to have a friendly attitude towards Shighira-kun.

But I could see through his attitude that he was somewhat mocking people.

Nobleman: "I do have much to learn from you. Shigehira-sama. After all, you're originally from the Taira clan, but now you're a respectable dog of Minamoto clan and..... a trusted vassal of Yoritomo-sama."

Shigehira: "........."

(How can you say that!)

Just hearing someone say that to someone else is making me feel awful.

Akihito: "Shh, they'll hear you."

Yuno: "!"

Akihito-sama placed his index finger on his lips indicating I to keep my voice low.

Akihito(smiling): "Don't worry. That man can't do anything more than that, because he's a fool....and your lover is a calm one."

(Eh.....?)

Shigehira: "Thank you very much for the compliment. But Yoritomo-sama has many more retainers to rely on. I'm a young man and I'm not quite up to it yet."

As Akihito-sama said, Shigehira-kun replied calmly without faltering

He bowed to the nobleman as if nothing had happened.

Shigehira: "Now, if you'll excuse me."

Akihito-sama, who had been watching Shigehira-kun smiled somewhat amusedly at him.

Akihito(smiling): "Well, now that I've seen your face, I think I'll leave. Also, you mustn't go in that direction today."

Yuno: "Eh?"

I turned my head to the direction Akihito-sama pointed.

Akihito: "Direction of Ushitora. If you're unlucky, you might wander off into the middle of nowhere."

I blink my eyes in confusion at the enigmatic words.

(Why is that?)

Akihito: "If your planning to go anyway, I'll give you this."

He gives two cards with strange markings on them.

Akihito(smiling): "It was made by the most talented Onmyoji I know, so it must be useful for something. ....If we ever meet again, I hope you'll have some amusing stories to share."

Yuno: "Ah. Yes, surely."

I hurriedly bow my head to Akihito-sama, who flips his kimono and walks away.

As I stare at the mysterious card, I heard footsteps behind me and I turned around....

Shigehira: "Ah. There you are. What's wrong, Yuno-san?"

Yuno: "Shigehira-kun!"

When he calls me, I felt relieved.

However, the awful words of that nobleman cross my mind and I was at a loss for words.

Yuno: "Are you okay? About that..."

Shigehira: "Oh that. Don't worry, I hear that a lot."

When he casually says how common he hear these kinds of insults, breaks my heart.

But Shigehira- kun didn't falter. That's what's amazing about him.

Shigehira: "What's with that look? Don't worry about that. As long as there are people like you who understand me, then that's enough for me."

Yuno: "Shigehira-kun...."

He sounds like a simple thing to say, but his eyes are fixed on the sky as if he is nowhere to be found.....

I love Shigehira, who is shy but expresses his feelings honestly.

Shigehira: "Then, let's go back to Kamakura."

Yuno: "Yes."

The sky which was sunny when we left Kyoto, was now covered with clouds.

As if a sign of something about to happen....

Shigehira: "Let's take a break. I think there's a spring around here, I'll get some water."

Yuno: "Then, I'll come too..."

The moment I tried to follow, a cold chill ran down my spine.

(What is this feeling?)

I can feel the heavy air coming from the direction Shigehira-kun is heading.

(I have a bad feeling.)

(But isn't this direction the Ushitora that Akihito-sama mentioned....?)

Yuno: "Shigehira---"

When I reached out to grab his sleeve---

I felt my feet sinking into the mud.

(Eh?)

The ground under me naturally felt mushy. In addition, a creepy hand resembling that of a monkey sticks out from the ground.

Shigehira: "Yuno-san!"

Shigehira-kun, noticed something wrong and put his arm around my waist, and held me close.

(Ah...)

At that time, the red lipstick fell from my sleeve.

The creepy hand picks up the red lipstick and disappears into the ground again.

Yuno: "! No, give it back..."

Shigehira: "...No, Yuno-san, watch your foot."

As if being dragged into the bottom of a swamp, my body was sucked into the ground----

Just before my body sank completely, I thought I saw the cards, Akihito-sama gave me, light up.

..............

When Yuno and Shigehira were hit by the creepy incident----

Ibuki: "......."

Ibuki looked up as if he sensed something.

Ibuki(smiling): "So they fell after all. It was worth giving the two of those dazzling cards, Akihito. By the way, it's new to see you being kind to him."

Akihito(smiling): "Kind. ...You mean to the Young master of Taira. I would not have helped him if he had taken advantage of the nobleman's petty provocations or, on the contrary, flattered him. I thought I'd give him a bit of a helping hand because he's such a good child." (Awwwww, So Akihito went to visit only Yuno at first to warn her about the demon world thing. But then seeing Shigehira's confidence he wanted to help too. Akihito is such a sweetheart!)

Ibuki: "But I'm a little curious as to what will happen to them on the other side."

Akihito(smiling): "I advise you not to go."

Ibuki(smiling): "How kind."

.............................

(Mm.......)

The first thing that struck me when I opened my eyes was the heavy dark clouds and the lightning in the sky.

(! Where am I?)

In an unfamiliar place, I was parked near a cliff, hugging Shighira tightly.

Yuno: "What the hell is this place...!?"

The moment I saw Shigehira-kun, I was speechless.

Shigehira: "......!"

The way he was dressed and the atmosphere he wore made him look like a...... demon.

Shigehira-kun is also looking at me with his eyes wide open.

Shigehira: "You look...."

Yuno: "Hm?"

When I hurriedly checked my appearance, I saw that I was dressed very similarly to Shigehira-kun.

Shigehira: "............"

We were all puzzled and dismayed when we heard a high-pitched laugh.

Demon Monkey: "I found it! It's mine! Mine!"

We see a monkey-like demon turning his back to us and running away.

Shigehira: "----!"

Its arms were covered with the hair of a beast and its viciously extended claws are identical to the arms that had just come up from the ground.

Besides, the thing he’s holding in his hand is....

(Shigehira-kun’s gift....!)

Shigehira: “Let’s chase it. This isn’t where we are supposed to be and that demon might know the way home. Apparently, he can speak our language, so maybe he can give us some information. Also, let’s get back the gift too.”

Yuno: “.....! Yes!”

After Shigehira-kun’s calm words, I let out a breath to calm myself down.

We hurriedly followed the fleeing monkey.

.......................

As we ran in the same direction the monkey took, we came to a marketplace where there was a festival float.

The stalls in the streets are full of the most bizarre products I’ve ever seen.

(What is this place...)

Shigehira: “Is this somekind of joke?”

Yuno: “Maybe...”

We both hide in the shadows to see what’s going on.

(If they find out we're humans, we’ll be in trouble....)

???: “Hey, get out of the way!”

Yuno: “Ah, sorry, we didn’t.....ah?”

I apologize to the voice at my feet and was surprised to see who it is.

The other was a small demon, no bigger than a thumb.

Shigehira: “! Please forgive me for doing this.”

After saying no, Shigehira-kun quickly plucks up the dwarf demon.

Dwarf demon: “What the!”

Shigehira: “I said I’m sorry. But can you tell us where we are?”

Dwarf Demon: “Where? Of course, this is the demon world? Don’t tell me you don’t even know, even though you’re a demon?”

Shigehira: “Demon world... Also, wait. Do we look like demons to you?”

Dwarf Demon: “What, do you want to tell me that you’re human? Nice joke.”

The dwarf demon laughs at us mockingly.

Dwarf Demon: “....Okay. I answered you, now put me down!”

When the demon tries to bite his hand, Shigehira-kun quickly releases him.

Dwarf Demon: “Just because you’re a bit tall, doesn’t give you the right to be rude.”

The dwarf demon sniffed disapprovingly and walks away.

Shigehira: “....I’ve heard about this from Tamamo-san before. It seems to me that we have been transported to the demon world through the portal in the ground......and also we both look like demons.”

Yuno: “Mm...but how....?”

(Besides..)

-------FLASHBACK------

Akihito(smiling): "It was made by the most talented Onmyoji I know, so it must be useful for something. “

-------FLASHBACK ENDS-------

I remembered about the cards and quickly searched for them, but to my surprise, I couldn’t find them.

(Did I drop it on my way here?)

Shigehira: “What’s wrong?”

Yuno: “Actually----”

I talked about what Akihito-sama told me and about the two cards.

Shigehira: “ Yeah, even I saw something glowing just before my body sank to the ground. Maybe those cards were used for deceiving these demons. Maybe that’s why we look so different.”

Yuno: “So as long as they don’t find out our real identities, we won’t be attacked for the time being.... Ah, Shigehira-kun!”

Amongst the crowd of demons, I spot the demon monkey from earlier.

It looked like he was selling my lipstick to another demon.

Demon monkey: “Here’s a rare thing I found. I’ll trade it for human fingers.”

Demon woman: “Oh, that’s a fine piece of work. How about three fingers?”

Demon monkey: “Four. Four fingers!!”

Demon woman: “Come on, you bastard. Fine, I’ll go with it.”

In exchange for the sachet, the monkey was about to give the red lipstick to the demon woman---

Shigehira: “Stop right there!”

Demon monkey: “!”

Shigehira-kun, interrupted their deal and snatched the lipstick for the monkey’s hand.

Shigehira: “Sorry, but I’m taking this back.”

MD: “Whaaa! Give it back!”

Demon woman: “.......”

The monkey starts to whine at the suddenness of the situation and the female demon looks at Shigehira-kun blankly.

But the woman immediately smiled venomously.

Demon woman: “Oh, what a beautiful man. Is that yours?”

Shigehira: “Yes.”

Yuno: “......”

(No one really seems to think we’re humans.)

While I was watching everyone’s movement anxiously.

Demon monkey: “Thief! thief!”

Shigehira: "!"

Yuno: "No we're not..."

The monkey jumps up and down and whining loudly to gather attention from the demons nearby.

(!)

When Shigehira-kun looked around---

Demon monkey: "Give it back!"

Shigehira: "Ahh!"

The monkey took this opportunity to steal back the lipstick and runs away.

Shigehira: "Let's catch him, Yuno."

Yuno: "Yes."

We started running away from the gazes around us.

............

(Damn, that demon is fast!)

(And I feel my body getting heavy.)

(But I must not slow down Shigehira-kun.)

As I struggled to keep up, Shigehira-kun suddenly stopped in his tracks.

Shigehira: "Let's rest for now."

Yuno: "Eh, but."

Shigehira: "Now that we're off the main road, the other demons have dwindled in number and we need a break. It's not safe for us to go our separate ways when we're in a different world."

Shigehira-kun gently rubs my back and my shoulders fluttered as I catch my breath.

Yuno: "Sorry. I was a little bit faster..."

Shigehira: "What are you talking about? It's not your fault. Also since, the time we were here, I've been feeling a bit heavier than usual. What about you?"

Yuno: "......Me too."

Shigehira: "Tamamo-san also told me about this. The air in the demon world has a negative effect on human health."

(Though, Shigehira-kun doesn't look tired as much me.)

I'm so sorry.

Shigehira: "...."

Then, he gently wraps my cheeks with both of his hands and looks at me straight in the eye.

Yuno: "Shigehira-kun?"

I can feel my heart beating fast, and I look back at Shigehira-kun with a worried look on his face.

Shigehira: "Look, if you feel anything unusual, tell me. Your body is not yours alone anymore."

(Ehhh)

When Shigehira-kun sees me blinking, his expression changes.

Shigehira(flustered): "No. I mean...it doesn't mean anything weird. Obviously not that....! Anyway, you don't have to worry about me, you can talk to me about anything. It doesn't matter where we are, I'll always protect you."

Yuno(blushing): "Mm."

I nodded, feeling both reassured and excited by his strong words.

Shigehira softened his cool eyes and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

Shigehira(smiling): ".......It feels weird, isn't it? We're both dressed like demons. .....But even after dressing up as a demon, you.....!"

Shigehira(blushing): "...Nothing!"

Yuno: "?"

(What were you trying to say?)

Before I could ask, he takes his hands off my cheek and shyly looks away.

Shigehira: "Let's look for clues to get back where we came from."

........................

We walked down a back alley in search of clues and found what looked like a restaurant.

Yuno: "There are places like this."

Shigehira: "Well, Tamamo-san did mention that demons don't need food to live. But this is...."

Nevertheless--- the restaurant is littered with bones from a variety of animals.

As I gasped at the eeriness, Shigehira-kun alerted me.

Shigehira: "He's here."

Shigehira-kun points at the demon monkey.

Shigehira: "If he makes a scene here, we'll be in the same situation as before. Let's catch him as he leaves the shop and bring him to a deserted place."

Yuno: "Yes."

We sat further away and observed the monkey's movements. Apparently, the monkey had been drinking and had fallen asleep with a bottle of sake.

Shigehira: "There are no other demons in sight. Let's go and take it, without waking him up. No escaping this time."

Shigehira-kun, cautiously moves closer to the sleeping monkey.

(If it comes to that, I'll use my powers...)

As we watch with bated breath...

Shigehira: "....."

Even when, Shigehira-kun was much closer, the monkey didn't budge.

Shigehira: "If something happens after this....maybe we should tie his hands and legs...."

Yuno: "I have some hand towels."

Shigehira: "Give it to me."

Just as he was about to carefully restrain the monkey, the red lipstick fell from the monkey's hand.

(Oh)

As I reached out for it, a black shadow appears---

Demon: "Hey, you. What are you two up to? Are you both thieves?"

Shigehira: "!"

..............

(We got caught...)

Then we were thrown into a dimly lit prison.

(Now what should we do?)

The anxiety that came over me made my heart clench.

I clasped my trembling hand, and a large hand was placed on top of it.....

Shigehira: "We'll go home together. There must be some way."

Premium END // Epilogue

Just a small note, you see, I'm using a translator for this game so sometimes, the translation can little messy. What I wanna say is that the gift that Shigehira gave to Yuno is translated as 'crimson' or something. So I assumed it was lipstick. I'm not 100% sure, but let's just go with that assumption. Okay?

[hq-haikyuu-blog]

No Medicine for Lovesickness

Akaashi with an s/o who speaks before thinking

warnings: none :)

word count: 2041

a/n: to the anon who requested an oikawa piece, i AM working on it, there is just something i’m currently super inspired to work on and i’m try to power through that but i will get right on it as soon as i’m done i’m so sorry ily thank you for requesting btw

You had been invited by Kaori, a girl in your friend group, to come watch the Fukurodani boys volleyball club practice after school as she was trying to recruit you as a manager for the team so you would both have more time to hang out. And that's how you ended up at the Fukurodani gym after school, nervously standing before the door as you contemplated running away.

"Excuse me, I'm heading in, are you entering the gym as well?" you jumped at the deep voice behind you, turning to see a boy with slightly messy black hair and grey-blue eyes. He wore his uniform neatly, even though school was already dismissed for the day and you were silent as you stared at him for a few moments.

"Um, yes! Me too! I mean, I'm going into the gym too. But I'm not in the boys volleyball club. I'm just...going in." you said, stumbling over your words and mentally facepalming at the word vomit flooding out of your mouth.

"...alright." he said, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he reached around you to open the door to the gym, holding it open for you as you were still frozen in front of it.

"Thank you...uh..." you trailed off, realizing you didn't know who the boy before you was.

"Akaashi Keiji. And you are?" he asked as you both walked in.

"I'm l/n f/n. Nice to meet you, Akaashi-san." you introduced as you reached out a hand for him to shake, deeming that he seemed like the type of polite person who appreciated handshakes.

"Likewise, l/n-san." he replied, shaking your hand in a firm grasp.

"Please, just y/n is fine." you said without thinking, flushing at your boldness in letting him call you by your first name so quickly.

"Ah...alright, y/n-san. Well I have to go. It was nice talking to you." Akaashi said, walking away as you echoed his goodbye. You approached Kaori, who waved at you as she saw you approaching.

"What's Akaashi Keiji like?" you asked, trying to seem casual and subtle although you failed terribly.

"Akaashi? Um I don't really know. He's really quiet and he's the only one who can handle Bokuto. He's a second year and I think he's really smart too." she said, wracking her brain for as much information about Akaashi as she could recall.

"Oh, that's cool." you responded, trying to play it off as if you were disinterested.

"Why do you ask? Do you like him or something?" she asked you jokingly, turning to you, shocked when you immediately flushed and turned away, stuttering out excuses.

"You do?! How do you even know him? You aren't even in the same year." she exclaimed, shaking your shoulders as if that would get you to tell her faster.

"I mean...I don't know if I like him. But I met him when I was walking into the gym." you informed her as you swatted her hands off of your shoulders.

"I-what? So barely even know him and you already think you like him." she tried to confirm, praying that she was interpreting the situation wrong.

"...yes." you mumbled, looking down, ignoring her as she tried to ask you more questions as you headed up to the bleachers, seeing the boys coming out of the clubroom to begin practice.

As you watched their practice, you couldn't help but stare at Akaashi, only looking away whenever his silver haired teammate pointed you out. Throughout the practice, you found yourself unable to tear your gaze away, butterflies in your stomach as you fantasized about what it would be like if you were in a relationship. After practice ended, you approached the dark haired boy before he could go back to the clubroom.

"You were really cool, Akaashi-san!" you exclaimed, refusing to make eye contact with him as you felt your cheeks grow warm.

"Oh. Thank you, y/n-san, I'm glad you enjoyed watching our practice." he replied, a light flush settling across his cheeks, contrary to his deadpan expression and monotonous voice. 

"Okay. Well...goodnight." you said lamely, waving sadly at the perceived lack of interest from Akaashi.

"Goodnight...I hope you come to our practice again sometime." Akaashi called as you began to walk home, deciding you would definitely be coming to their practice the next day.

Everyday for the next week, you would come to the volleyball club's practices and watch, coming up to Akaashi and complimenting him for his hard work at the end of every night and every night you walked home feeling dejected by his monotonous thank yous.

"Kaori, I don't know what to do! How can I make it any more obvious that I like him?" you complained to your friend during lunch on the Monday after your first week of watching practices and pining over Akaashi.

"y/n, you haven't done anything to show that you like him, you just tell him he looks cool everyday." Kaori sighed, exasperated.

"What else would I do?" you shot back defensively.

"Uhh, what about...tell him?" Kaori said slowly, trying to spell it out for you more clearly.

"Good idea. I think I won't do that." you replied, smiling at Kaori's groan of annoyance.

"Well, you can't stay to watch practice tomorrow so why don't you do something for him?" Kaori suggested.

"I know! I'll cook something for him!" you exclaimed, standing up in excitement. You and Kaori spent the rest of your lunch break looking up recipes for you to try to cook for Akaashi.

The next day, you walked up to the gym, a box of homemade onigiri in your hands as you nervously stared in through the windows. As you saw Akaashi walk out of the clubroom, you sucked in a deep breath and mustered up all your confidence as you opened the gym doors and walked in.

"Uh, Akaashi-san?" you called nervously, shifting your weight from foot to foot as the setter began to walk over to you.

"Hello, y/n-san. Are you staying to watch us today?" Akaashi asked you politely.

"Oh, I'm actually not. I have to do some stuff so I'm heading home early today." you said, scratching the back of your neck awkwardly.

"Oh...I see." Akaashi said, expression unreadable as he spoke.

"But I made you this! To eat!" you exclaimed, quickly shoving the box outwards for him to take.

"...oh, thank you, y/n-san. That's very kind of you." Akaashi replied, gently taking the box from your hands.

"It was no biggie. I hope you like it!" you told him, bowing slightly as you made your way out of th gym. "Good luck today!"

Akaashi watched your retreating figure, jumping when an arm wrapped around his shoulders.

"Why don't you ask them out already?" Konoha asked the setter casually.

"No." Akaashi replied simply, shrugging off Konoha's arm.

"Why not? Don't you like them?" Konoha prodded, reaching for the box of onigiri greedily.

"It's not that I don't like them, because I do. But I don't think y/n-san should be with someone like me. They're too...kind and friendly. Besides, y/n-san is just being nice." Akaashi replied, holding the box further away from Konoha's grabby hands.

"What do you mean y/n doesn't like you? Aren't you guys dating?" Bokuto asked, approaching Konoha and Akaashi as he came out of the clubroom, casually stretching his arms while looking at Akaashi confused.

"Huh? No, y/n-san and I are not dating. Where did you hear that?" Akaashi questioned, genuinely puzzled.

"Oh, I just thought that you and y/n were dating cuz y/n is always here and you always talk to them and stuff." Bokuto shrugged in response, walking away to start setting up the gym for practice.

"...well there you have it. Just confess to y/n before someone gets them first." Konoha said, following after Bokuto and leaving Akaashi rooted in his spot, deep in thought. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, deciding to think about it tomorrow and confront you about the matter after practice when you approached him.

Little did he know, you weren't going to be coming. After conferring with Kaori, you decided that you had simply gained a silly crush on the blue eyed setter and you figured the best way to get over it would be to stop showing up to their practices.

The next day, Akaashi spent the entire day planning what he would say to you after practice but was gutted when you weren't there as you usually were, you hadn't even shown up to give him anything or say anything to him.

"Dude, where's y/n." Konoha asked Akaashi halfway through practice.

"I don't know." Akaashi replied honestly, a small frown settling across his features.

"Kaori-chan, where is y/n?" Konoha asked for Akaashi during their next water break.

"Oh uh...y/n is really...sick right now. Yeah, they're very sick. They can't come to watch practices for a while." Kaori lied, not wanting to expose your crush on the setter, especially while you weren't there.

"Could I possibly get y/n-san's address? I would like to drop some stuff off for them." Akaashi spoke up, surprising everyone. Kaori nodded mutely, knowing you would be alright with it (in this scenario! do not just give your friend's address to people unless they are as wonderful of a person as Akaashi (they aren't) or you're the author controlling their hypothetical life), deciding to give you a heads up after practice ended and giving him your address.

You were at home when you received a text from Kaori.

Get ready for a surprise

You were confused and a little bit concerned. It wasn't your birthday, nor did she have any reason for sending a surprise to your house, so you were a bit wary. About half an hour later, your questions were answered as you heard a knock on your door. You peeked through the window and gasped.

"Akaashi-san, what are you doing here?" you asked the boy who stood at your doorstep, grocery bag in hand.

"Good evening y/n-san, I apologize for intruding on you without warning. Suzumeda-san informed me that you weren't feeling well so I thought I'd bring you some stuff." he replied, holding out the grocery bag to you.

"Kaori told you I was...sick." you repeated, not putting two and two together yet.

"Yes. I asked why you weren't at practice today and she informed me that you were sick so I grabbed you some things to hopefully help you feel better since you are always encouraging me." Akaashi informed you. 

"Oh. I see." you replied dumbly.

"Are you still feeling unwell?" he asked you as he set the grocery bag on the ground for you.

"Um...about that. I'm not sure why Kaori told you I was sick." you said awkwardly.

"Isn't that why you didn't come to practice?" Akaashi asked, just as puzzled as you.

"No, I didn't come to watch you guys because I like you." you replied bluntly.

"You like me?" 

"Yeah. I thought that was obvious."

"Wait, why did you not come to practice because you like me?" 

"Because you don't like me so I wanted to get over you faster."

"I don't like you?" Akaashi questioned, wondering what gave you that idea.

"Yeah." you replied, embarrassment beginning to creep up in your stomach.

"Oh. Wait, no that's not true. I do like you." Akaashi said, frowning at your accusation.

“What do you mean you like me?” you asked, puzzled.

“I mean, I like you and I would like to take you out on a date sometime.” he replied.

“Well...why didn’t you say anything before?” you accused him, pouting slightly.

“I didn’t think you liked me. I don’t think you should like me.” he replied easily.

“Well that was silly of you. But...since I’m not sick, how would you feel about coming in and sharing this?” you invited Akaashi, holding up the bag of groceries.

‘I’d like that.” said Akaashi, smiling as he took the grocery bag from your hands and left his shoes by the door, walking into your house.

[strvlveera]

My Her Sweater.

Pairing: Kuroo Testuro x Fem!Reader

Summary: Kuroo gave you his sweater since he considered you his closest ‘girl’ best friend. It’s yours. So why was it on someone else? Especially her.

Genre: Angst (w/sad ending)

Warning: Bad writing :) And Kuroo being a rat

a/n - I’m so sorry that I keep writing angst- This was also heavily inspired by Heather by Conan Gray. That song gives the fEEls! I’m so sorry for any grammar mistakes I finished this at 2 am- ;_; Also I apologise if there are lots of errors or if it’s very rushed ;( Love you all 😤💞

Just incase you are new!

[Y/N] - Your Name

[N/N] - Nick Name

[L/N] - Last name

This is long.

——————————————————————————

Surprisingly lots of people didn’t think you would be friends with Kuroo, mainly because they didn’t know the real you. How different you were when someone really got to know you. That someone was Kuroo.

You first met at chemistry class when you were both assigned as partners. You’ve only heard that Kuroo was an outstanding volleyball captain. Never in your life did you think that he would be such a nerd. You were lucky to have him as your partner since he knew basically half the stuff you didn’t, not that it bothered you. He made jokes that made you laugh and giggle at but he also was a huge flirt.

In class, he would randomly flick a piece of paper at you which would have a random lame chemistry joke that would still make you laugh at how dumb it was. You got caught one time. That was the first and last time you got caught.

Kuroo had given you his favourite sweater and a necklace that said [N/N] for your birthday. “To symbolize our friendship duh,” He told you. Butterflies in the pit of your stomach erupted. Your Lips widened into a smile. He looked at you with his signature smirk. “Really Tetsu? That’s so kind of yo-“ You were cut off by Kuroo randomly tackling you onto the floor. What did you expect? It’s Kuroo. You both ended up bursting into laughter. His sweater was now your favourite piece of clothing and you were never gonna take off that necklace. No one else can take them from you.

You started to catch feelings.

Eventually you two started getting closer. Kuroo even invited you to come and see him practise once and that’s were you met all his friends. Everything was going great, perfect even, until she showed up.

——————————————————————————

When she did appear there were already rumours around the school about her. Saying things like “she’s like an angel,” or “how can someone be so pretty and perfect?”. It didn’t really bother you that there was this ‘new girl’ in your school although you were curious on what she looked like.

At this time you were also looking for Kuroo. When you finally found him he was with someone you haven’t seen before but oh boy was she one of the most gorgeous things you’ve ever seen. You started feeling self-conscious again.

“Is this the new girl?” You asked yourself. You just decided to brush it off.

“Hey Tetsu!” You happily greeted whilst waving at them both. Kuroo and the ‘angel’ turned to see you. “Oh, Hey [N/N]!” Kuroo replied. You jogged over to them as you stared at her. She gave a little wave

“Ah [N/N], you don’t know Megumi~Chan.”

Chan? Im guessing they’re close.

“[N/N] this is Megumi Shimada and Megumi this is [Y/N] [L/N].” We both shook hands. Her smile looked heavenly.

“It’s nice to meet you [L/N]~San!”

“You too Shimada~San,” You replied.

The school bell rang meaning it’s time for class. Bidding our goodbyes to Megumi we head off.

“You know Tetsu,” I asked

“Hm?”

“How do you know Shimada~San?”

“Ah about that, her and I were childhood best friends back in junior high. Kenma also knows her. Unfortunately she had to move to Miyagi but now she’s back in Tokyo for family reasons.” He explained roughly.

So they were best friends. How nice.

I didn’t realise we already ended up in class. Taking a seat, I start to drift off again.

Megumi Shimada huh.

You had no idea that name was gonna be spoken everywhere soon.

~~

Since Megumi came to Nekoma, her popularity skyrocketed. Eveybody and I mean everybody knew her name. Her status grew because of many reasons.

List Of Why Megumi is So Popular:

SHE IS AN ANGEL

Even if you’re mean to her she will never insult you.

Perfect

She smells like heaven (in a good way-)

She’s very smart but surprisingly bad at Chemistry.

HAS A HEART PURE OF GOLD

And the list goes on. I thought the perfect girl didn’t exist. Clearly I was wrong. Every single guy in the school has been fawning over her ever since she came. Especially Yamamoto. Every practice he talks about her. Anywhere and everywhere he only talks about her. Even Kenma had warmed up to her which was a big surprise.

“She knew what game I was playing on my PSP so we talked about it for some time,” Kenma explained.

You weren’t so bothered by her since she’s been so nice to you. She’s literally like what they say she is. An angel. A literal godess

~~~

With Kuroo though, everything seemed to changed. He always talked about Megumi. Planned on going out with her instead of you. He didn’t even attend your annual star gazing nights which he had never missed until now.

“Sorry [N/N] I forgot all about it, I was out with Megumi at that ramen place, I promise to come next time.”

It was always the same excuse and you forgave him. You couldn’t see what was at fault.

“Ah Testsu, I get it just please come next time. It was really lonely without you. Okay?”

“Of course! I’m a man of my word [N/N].”

You believed him but you shouldn’t have.

Even at school you talked to him less and less, only chatting in chemistry. He wouldn’t hangout at lunch with you anymore. It was like you weren’t even part of his life. You still attended their practice matches but soon stopped going since Megumi was always there cheering them on. It seemed they like her being there more than you.

These things gradually started to become a daily routine for you. Each time it broke your heart. But you’ve finally had enough and decide to confront Kuroo about it. To let all your emotions out just this once.

That was a bad idea.

~~~~

You called Kuroo 10 times when he finally picked up.

“Hey [N/N], what’s up?”

“The sky duh,” You joked. I’m so funny.

“Aha how funny but really, why did you call?” He asked.

“I was just wondering if I could talk to you in person, alone.”

“Oh uh sorry [N/N] but I’m with Megu-“

“Oh it’s fine, is it okay if I tag along since I’m bored aha,” you cutted him off. Nervous if he’d say yes or not.

“Oh well we’re are at the park that me and you used to hangout in,”

“Okay, thank you, see you!” You replied.

*Beep*

He didn’t even reply.

You look at your home screen. It’s you and kuroo.

It’s never too late to change it right?

~~~~~

As you were getting ready to go out you couldn’t seem to find the sweater kuroo gave you. You planned to wear it since it was your favourite sweater and it was quite cold outside. Giving up, you hurridly put on a random sweater that looked nice and ran out of your house and headed straight to the park.

When you got close to the park you saw Kuroo and Megumi. Just by themselves. Looking as if they were a young couple in love. Makes you sick just thinking about it for some reason. You brushed it off and continued making your way to them

“Hey Tetsu, Shimada~San!” You greeted.

They both waved back at you with replies.

As you got closer at looked at Megumi you couldn’t believe what you saw. The pit of your stomach drops. You’re in a confused state, slowly turning angry.

“Shimada~San, why are you wearing my sweater?” You angrily asked. She looked so confused.

“What do you mean?”

“I said what I said. Why are you wearing my sweater.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about [L/N]-“

“Then why are you wearing it?” At this point you were getting annoyed at why she didn’t just say why.

“Kuboo gav-“

“Oh! So we are now using pet names now? WoW! I’ll start saying mine tO-“

“THATS ENOUGH [Y/N]!” Kuroo exclaimed.

You went frozen we’re you were standing.

He had never called you by your first name ever since you first met.

“I-I gave her it.” He explained.

..what?

Hurt.

Confused.

Every single negative emotion was put upon you at that very moment.

“Y-youre kidding,” You breathlessly say.

Kuroo looked straight at you, full of guilt.

“I’m not joking [Y/N].”

Ouch. Another bang to the heart.

“Did you take it from my wardrobe?”

“Where else would I get it from-“

“Kuroo that IT’S MINE! YOU GAVE IT TO ME,” You cutted him off.

“IT DOESN’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ABOUT YOU [Y/N]-“

“OH REALLY?” you could’ve believe him at this point.

“YES REALLY,” he shouted back.

“So you just gave it away to someone else when you gave it to me on my brithday, saying it was “a symbol of our friendship” because if that were the case then why would you sneak into my house and take it away from me?”

You slowly started inching forward to him.

Kuroo took a big breathe in.

“Oh FOR GOODNESS SAKE [Y/N] JUST LET ME BE HAPPY FOR ONCE!” He aggressively explained.

So.

I guess this is where it ends.

I mean somethings must come to an end right?

“I see how it is. Fine. Let it be that way.”

You started to take off the necklace Kuroo gave you. Tears nearing the time of their fall.

“How about you-“ You started off

You got close to him and pointed at his chest.

“Just go on your merry way and live a happy life!”

You handed him the necklace back, forcing it into his hand.

“Go and change the [N/N] to your nick name to Megumi on the necklace by the way,” you cheerfully said.

Waterfalls are now flowing down your cheeks.

You gazed towards a frightened Megumi.

“Oh and you can keep the sweater. Apparently its not mine anymore aha,” you painfully told her.

“Wait, [Y/N] you cant just ended our friendship like this! Think about it.” Kuroo exclaimed.

I chuckled, “Kuroo I didn’t end our friendship.”

He looked confused.

“You did.”

You walked off, tired of everything. Tired of life.

Kuroo ran up to you grabbing a hold of your shoulder,

“[Y/N] why are you doing this?” He asked

I kept my eyes on my shoes.

“Is it because of the sweater? I’ll buy you another one-“

“It’s for you,”

You turned around to meet his sorrowful eyes.

“What do you mean for me?” He asked confused.

“It’s for your happiness Kuroo. I see the way you look at her. You need someone like her in your life more than me. So you better get going now. She’s waiting,” you sadly explained.

“I don’t understand, what could I have done to prevent this from happening?” He desperately asked.

You thought for a moment.

“You could’ve been there for me.”

You gave him a broken smile. Face filled with tears and empty eyes.

“Goodbye Tetsu, be happy now,”

End.

[b0blegum]

CONSTRAINT [#1]

Author: b0blegum

Pairing: Son Hyunwoo x Reader (Mafia AU, requested)

Rating: R

Genre: Crime

Words: 2229

WARNING SEXUAL ACTIVITIES, BLOOD

CHAPTER: #1 | #2 | #3

Status: ON GOING

gif  © @wonheony​

SUGGESTION: HAVE THIS MUSIC ON FOR MORE ENJOYABLE READING

“Le secret des grandes fortunes sans cause apparente est un crime oublié, parce qu’il a été proprement fait.” — Honoré de Balzac

Son Hyunwoo sat behind his grand piano, the one that stole the most attention among other things that are in his entire penthouse. Black, shiny, with a captivating chandelier hung down from the high ceiling that almost touched the lid when it’s open. His fingers were dancing on the black and white bars to Chopin’s piece. His eyes closed and his heads nodded to the slow and steady rhythm until he gave a dramatic act at the finale coda. He lifted up his fingers, slowly and feeling satisfied by his own play. The wine that was rested above his piano for a while was held up, traveling with him to the windows, where he could get the best view of busy Seoul at night. Sliding his hand into his trousers pocket, he admired the beauty of night light, as if they purposely presented him a beautiful play every night. “Your car is ready, Sir.” One of his assistant stood straight just few meters away from him.

Hyunwoo took a quick glance at his watch before he turned around. The soles of the pair of his custom-made-only-from-grade-A-leather oxford shoes made a satisfying tapping sound as he took each step to the front door and to his private elevator. The car was, true, already waiting patiently on the lobby, with the driver stood by the car with the door open. It was the newest Cadillac Escalade, custom made to his own desirable interior design with his initial embossed on each headrest. The leather material was also based on his own choice he got to pic when he invited the chief of design over a cup of tea last year’s fall. Everything was pretty easy for Son Hyunwoo. Breakfast in Tokyo then headed to Singapore to enjoy some expensive tea at Tea Bone? He can have it. Or spent the night at the royal penthouse in Geneva? Just say it. Those two were just a tiny example of how easy his life could be. To put it simply, he always got what he desires. Not to get you confused, but Son Hyunwoo wasn’t a politician, nor he was a CEO of some really successful company, nor even a celebrity, but most his clients are. Including this one industry monster who hosted a lavish party at one of his property in the country. Hyunwoo fixed his perfectly tailored pair of Harriot & Ánderson suits as he walked through the crowd wearing as beautiful outfit as he was. No one in the party would wear just a simple black dress from Forever 21, that’s lame. The minimal fabrics that they wore had to be duchess satin, the highest quality and made it done by designer Loro Vianna, the one whose dress was worn by Miss Venezuela in Miss Universe 2017 and successfully captivated the eyes of many designers all around the world. The men didn’t really care to ask from which tailor they had their suits done, but they also have their own standard and Hyunwoo’s were made at the place where people had to book several months to a year to get their suits done, but of course, Hyunwoo is an exception. He had a glass of black wine already in his hand as he stood by the empty table. Even though he’s frequently invited to parties, he’s actually not really a social butterfly. He’s rather the type that would stand in silent, observing others, while waiting one or two people come to him, introducing themselves, which usually, ended up with them wanted to ask Hyunwoo a favor. Oh, speak of the devil... “Hi, Mr. Son.” Someone was approaching with an odd, triumphant defiance in his eyes. Hyunwoo put down his glass and responded to the older man— probably already in his 50s. “Hello, Mr.—“ “Lee.” “Mr. Lee. What kind of favor do you want?” Hyunwoo directly asked the older man, which sent him to have a good chuckle. “I like you. Hate to beat around the bush.” Hyunwoo scoffed. “So, what is it?” The older looked around, as if he was afraid to get caught with someone. A moment later, he pulled out a photograph of a young woman in an enchanting emerald off-shoulder dress, revealing her silky pale skin. Her lips were plump, swatched with a lustful burgundy lipstick. Her eyes were brown, clear brown. Beautiful. “I need you to get rid of her.” He explained in a careful whisper. “She’s here to kill me.” Hyunwoo looked down to the man’s eyes. The eyes that shot defiance turned slowly, shooting nothing but pure restlessness. He caught Hyunwoo’s staring at him and he quickly responded, “I slept with her and i don’t have any idea she’s a—“ “I don’t care about the reason.” Hyunwoo stopped him mid sentence. “Okay. Alright, so how much do you need to get rid of her? 500?” Hyunwoo went silent, staring at him still. “A Billion? Two? No? Or—“ “You clearly haven’t heard much about me do you?” Hyunwoo smirked, staring at him mockingly. The man’s about to say something, when Hyunwoo cut him again, “I don’t take money as reward.” He gave back the photograph to the older. Son Hyunwoo was a young man everybody seek for help and they truly were never disappointed. He made no empty promises nor classic excuses like his hands were tied by even greater forces than himself. He took every problems from the poor to the rich to his heart. It was fine with him if one had no intentions to reward him back with expensive meals or even just a bottle of wine. But from all of that, one thing he would want they to understood is that they’re in his debt and that he had the right to call them at anytime to redeem their debts for any small services. “I take friendship.” Hyunwoo’s softened his gaze. Stronger than that, he’d lost him. Weaker than that, he’d underestimate him. The older looked uneasy. He knew what he had to deal with. Someone must’ve warned him before what risk should one take if he wanted to seek help with Hyunwoo. “Alright. Friendship.” Hyunwoo scoffed before he sipped down the rest of his wine and left. His eyes wander around the room as subtle as they could, looking for his prey. A girl with beautiful eyes and seductively sexy lips. “There you are, beauty.” He slowed down his steps and approached the girl carefully. She had been sitting there behind the bar table, wearing velvet maroon v-neck spaghetti strap dress with high slit up to her upper thighs. Her hair fell down to one side, revealing her other shoulder completely. The lipstick she wore tonight wasn’t as bold as the one in the picture. Maybe she didn’t want to catch too much attention. “One martini for this young lady over here, please.” Hyunwoo unbuttoned his jacket as he sat on the bar stool with one leg supporting himself on the ground. “You don’t need to.” She said with a fierce look on her face without even bother looking at Hyunwoo. “I insist, please.” “I don’t know what you’re looking for, but i’m not in the mood for talking.” She countered, sighing as she exhaled the thin smoke. “Well,” Hyunwoo looked at his watch. “I don’t think i have much time anyway.” The girl caught a look at Hyunwoo’s watch and her eyes got wider for a milli second. She thought The man wouldn’t realised, but actually he saw it all. Hyunwoo stepped down from the stool, buttoned his jacket and get through the crowds, heading to the balcony. There, he rested his palm on the railing, while counting down from ten. “Three... two... one.” “What is it?” Hyunwoo curved a smile of victory. He turned around slowly to met the same girl from before already stood before him with one leg exposed and one hand rested against her small hips. “What is a beauty like you doing here?” He walked closer, tracing the back of his hand down her face. “Don’t you think the party is a bit boring, baby?” The girl smile, realising she was played well with the watch. “Nice try to get under skirt, gentleman.” “What you’re wearing isn’t a skirt. It’s a dress and–“ Hyunwoo pulled her to his hug. He put his mouth right next to her ear. “I don’t think you wear anything underneath it.”

Hyunwoo poured his favorite whiskey and bring along the glass with him to bed. He sat at the edge, still fully clothed. “Seduce me.” He ordered. The girl walked closer, already naked with nothing but skin and skin. She licked her finger and traced herself down to her breast with a lustful look. He kneaded her own breast as she bit her lower lips. Eyes still making an intense contact with Hyunwoo’s. She moaned once in a while until she put herself on Hyunwoo’s laps. “More.” “You’re hard to please.” She smirked as she put her palm on his chest and traveled up to his neck, tilting his chin up a bit before she put her lips between Hyunwoo’s. She climbed up Hyunwoo and laid him down. Now that she’s on top of him, she can took full control over the perfectly build body underneath her. She kissed him hungrily, gave him a soft peck on his jaw and made some marks on his neck before she traveled further down to unbutton his shirt. She did it fluently and in a second Hyunwoo was already in his naked state. His defined abs made a wonderful presence, making the girl tracing his body slower to appreciate the perfection. She led him for a good long minutes until both felt they were ready to get to the next base. ”Get inside me.” She said. “I am in control this time.” Hyunwoo flipped her down. He pressed her body with her weight, started kissing her and tasting every inch of her exposed skin. “This would hurt a bit.” He smirked. “I can handle yours.” She bit her lips, inviting Hyunwoo for another round of kissing. “If you said so.” Hyunwoo thrusted into her. She screamed and immediately stopped with the kissing. Her eyes widened and his mouth opened wide, gasping for God knows what. Her hands both fell down to either side of her body, twitched before she got weaker with the motion. Blood started gushing out, wetting the clean white sheet underneath. “I told you it’d hurt.” Hyunwoo pulled out the knife from the girl’s lower abdomen. He stabbed deep enough to ruin the organs inside. He knew exactly where and in which angle to stab to gave great damage with minimal pain. Standing up, he gathered all his cloths and get suited up, but he sighed as he found his shirt was stained with her blood. He left the shirt and continue with only the jacket and trousers. He washed the knife calmly and wiped off his fingerprint before throwing it to the girl’s side. Finished with his business, he walked out the room like he just did nothing. He waited at the corridor for the elevator to come. He stared at his own reflection. Suited up without a shirt. His abs were exposed. He wasn’t used to exposing himself, but for now he had no other option than to leave his shirt. The elevator dinged and soon the door slid open, presenting a woman in a black satin dress. Long sleeved with a deep v-neck. You. He stepped in joining you. He stood in just a few steps before you, closer to the door than you did. You realised his eyes are fixed on your reflection. You tried not to react, but there’s also one thing you noticed from him. The elevator traveled down with no interruptions to your desire level and it dinged as soon as it stopped. The door slowly slid opened. “With a job like that, you should’ve known how to clean yourself better.” You said, looking at his abs reflection that has a bit of blood stain, before you stepped out.

NEXT >>

Ok, so how was it? I’m finally back with another mafia AU (last one was Jooheon’s mafia AU RAHASIA). I hope you like this as well as my other works. Don’t forget to tell me how you feel about this and share this if you enjoy reading it.

[crownuponherhead]

yule be there for me right?

No one was surprised last year when Sansa was named Prefect, but he thinks they are still surprised she’s a Gryffindor. Everyone thinks she’s a Ravenclaw to a T. Then again Jon does too a lot, it’s been one of the things everyone’s always wondered about her. How was she a Gryffindor? She just didn't fit the mold. The rumors fly that she begged to be one so she wouldn't disappoint her family name. He knows that's true, if there's one thing he knows is that Sansa Stark doesn't beg for anything she never has. He just doesn't get it.

Day 6 of 12 Days of Jonsa

“Fuck the dumb fucking Targaryens are their dumb fucking pure blood shit.” Jon Snow groaned as he kicked the wall again. Ever since first year when they were sorted he’d been getting the worst from his father about not being a Slytherin like the entire family before. “Just a bunch of shitty fucking cousins all married to each other.” He grumbled again as he kicked the wall. You think they would have been even a little bit proud that he was Headboy? No. His Mother was, she was ecstatic. His father and the rest of the Targaryen’s were pissed that he’d taken the spot his half-brother Aegon, a fucking dumbass, had obviously ‘deserved’. No love for Jon, the lowly half blood bastard of Rhaegar that had been sorted into Gyrffindor and was friends with the Starks. He kicked the wall again. “Fucking no good shits.” He muttered crumbling up the letter again.

“Jon?” He turned quickly at the sound of Sansa Stark who stood looking at him confused in her big white jumper with a golden S in the middle.

“Sansa, sorry I uh didn’t know you were over here.” Which is a lame excuse because he’s only a few doors down from her door, but in his defense he did think this little alcove would be a good hiding space to express his anger since Catelyn had handed him the letter with a sad smile and a pat on the back. It’d become a tradition since starting Hogwarts and becoming best friends with Robb that he’d stay over here while his Mom went off to do the work she put aside for the whole summer. Sometimes she’d pop in on the weekends but he knows she’d put her whole live as a Magizoologist on hold for him, so he doesn’t really complain. It was nice to be around a bunch of people who were like his siblings, except Sansa. She never really had been like that to him.

“Are you okay?” Her bright auburn hair is falling down her back only pulled back by two braids on the side to frame her face. She’s holding a few books that he’s sure she plans on reading in the next few days. The look of concern on it though is what makes him pause and give a nod. Sansa was hard to reach she’d always been that way, her walls were bigger than probably even his own fathers. When she showed concern like this she really meant it, he’d only seen it a few times, when Bran fell off his broom being one of the first.

“Yeah, it’s just a letter from my father and his family.” He sees her frown before it even reaches her lips. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that his family was complete shit.

“May I see it?” That’s what surprises him, sure she’s always a proper lady but seeing and hearing her ask for the letter surprises him. He gives a nod and hands her the letter sitting on the ground with his back to the cool brick wall. He’s even more surprised when she joins him on the ground reading the letter. “I’m sorry the speak to you like that.” She finally says taking hold of his hand. For a split second he thinks he’s dreaming as she places a sweet kiss to his cheek. “You’ll always have a family in us. You’re basically a Stark, just with the perks of not having to deal with all the siblings all the time.” She teases a laugh crossing her usually stoic porcelain face.

“Thanks, Sansa.” He means it too squeezing her hand and sitting there with her while he processes his thoughts and emotions. He doesn’t leave and he thinks he’s in love.

That bubble is very rudely popped when they get back to school. Sansa is a Gryffindor Prefect so sure they spend a lot of time together sometimes but she’s still with her shit of a boyfriend Joffrey, the Slytherin prefect who he is almost certain bought his way to that title. No one was surprised last year when Sansa was named Prefect, but he thinks they are still surprised she’s a Gryffindor. Everyone thinks she’s a Ravenclaw to a T, he does too a lot it’s been one of the things everyone’s always wondered about her. How was she a Gryffindor? She just didn't fit the mold. The rumors fly that she begged to be one so she wouldn't disappoint her family name. He knows that's true, if there's one thing he knows is that Sansa Stark doesn't beg for anything she never has. Sansa and Joffrey though, he just doesn't get it. All he sees is a nasty little shit who doesn't treat Sansa like the Queen she is. Jon knows he's not alone in the thoughts either. He's heard Robb complain constantly about him and how he's just waiting for the moment the little shit messes up so he can act on it. Arya threatened to crucio him on the spot if she had to, she'd deal with the consequences.

However it's the more time he spends with Sansa that he realizes, something isn't right. He notices it first with how she reacts to compliments, and he's not talking about the one's he hears Professor Baelish aka Creepy Pedophile give her in Potions because of course Sansa is a genius and at the Newt level in the class. Those that made them all physically cringe whenever he even opened his mouth near her. No it's the real compliments she gets, like when Arya didn't say something sarcastic about the sweaters she'd made for everyone to celebrate his and Robb's last year, or when Headmaster Tyrion complimented her form when watching Transfiguration one day. Then it's when she gets hot one day when she's on rounds with him. When he sees the scar on her upper arm he has to stop himself from asking why because he knows it'll just scare her away. It is the moment he tells himself he'll destroy Joffrey Baratheon no matter what.

He thinks the final straw when he puts the pieces together is when he accidentally sees Joffrey when he's mad, it's not at Sansa it's at one of his little minions. Seeing how he reacts to something as ridiculous as not wanting to match as one of his friends makes his heartache for Sansa to imagine what kinda shit she put up with that she certainly didn’t have to deal with.

“Does he get mad at you?” They’re walking near Ravenclaw Tower, some place he knows is a safe place, that no one would hear.

“What do you mean?” Typical Sansa, calm cool collected something he’d grown to know when was a lie.

“I saw Joffrey get mad at one of his idiot friends, does he get mad at you like that?”

Sansa doesn’t say anything and it’s enough of an answer for him to know it’s true. They keep going through their rounds, she’s been telling him about a pattern book she found and how she hoped she would have enough time to make her own dress for the Yule Ball. It’s right before they get to Gryffindor Tower that she stops him looking at him with all the emotion in her eyes she must bury so deep.

“Jon, you aren’t going to tell anyone, right? I don’t think I could stop it if I tried, so ignoring it seems best.” He wraps his arms around her at that.

“Sansa, I don’t care what it takes I promise you that I won’t let him hurt you again.” Her broken smile makes him feel like a dragon for the first time.

When Joffrey breaks up with her he tries is hardest not to celebrate. Sansa doesn’t look too upset when it’s just their friends around, but when around everyone it’s like this mask of the sad ex-girlfriend goes on. However he does notice her hitting a bottle of Firewhiskey more often than not when rumors circulate. He knows she’s partying right now celebrating the win that her siblings somehow pulled off against Slytherin. She’d laughed with him at watching his half-brother and Joffrey’s temper tantrums at the loss. Sure he wishes he was partying instead of waiting for the rest of the rounds to be finished for the night but he really doesn’t mind missing it, at least his hangover won’t be as bad.

When he sees her gleam of red hair and someone pushing her against the wall he wants to die from embarrassment. It’s when Sansa’s voice is letting out slurred stops that are being ignored he wants to murder whatever bastard has her against the wall. He’s acting before even thinking and in split second all he wants to do besides take Sansa in his arms and tell her she’s okay isice his hand that just deck Ramsay Bolton.

“Jon!” It’s all she says, her make up a mess from crying, her skirt is torn and he wants to cry at the fact that he can see her underwear is too.

“Sansa,” He reaches out tentively and reacts as fast as he can when she takes his hand and is moving into his arms. “You’re okay, you’re safe he’s never going to hurt you again, Sans.”

He watches as she pulls back and their eyes meet. She looks so broken but at the same time put together. “No he won’t, because I’m Sansa Stark and he can’t take who I am away from me.”

Jon realizes that Sansa is more of Gryffindor than any of them, she’s the bravest and most courageous person he knows.

“God just bloody ask her already!” Robb finally lets out from next to him. They’re sitting in the Three Broomsticks and apparently he hadn’t been too discreet at staring at Sansa from across the room. “I’m supposed to be the person who stops any guy from even looking at her and right now I just want to lock you both in closet so you both will stop being absolutely disgusting in your pining.”

“What if she said yes to that Hardying bloke?!” Jon let’s out in a panic to his best friend.

“Oh she didn’t, Arya said she saw him pouting and curing firey redheads or something like that.”

Jon doesn't think he can say no to that. He knows she has a dress, she's been working on it for a number of weeks. He remembers in early October, Professor Pedophile had seen her sketching it in class and made some disgusting comment about how lovely she'd look in it. When he'd brought it up, Sansa finally admitted to what he feared that the creep had been making comments like that at her since first year and saying how much she looked like her mother. She even admitted she was only a level ahead in Potions because she didn't want to have a full seven years with him breathing down her neck. It takes a lot not for him to deck Professor Pedophile next time he sees the creep.

"Stop getting lost in your thoughts and just fucking go!" Robb says from next to him already rolling his eyes. Jon's on his feet before he knows what he's doing.

"Hey Sans," He let's out looking down at her. When she turns and looks at him with a bright smile and eyes that look like everything that would leave his mouth would be important to him he wants to scream. He remembers that letter from August that caused them to be in this spot here.

"Jon! Sit down, Jeyne and I were just talking about the Yule Ball! I'm almost down with my dress." She grins up at him and Jon is ninety nine percent sure he would take literally any beating from his father's family about him being a disappointment just to see the happiness radiate from her after so long of it not.

"About that, I uh, I was wondering if you wanted to go with me? To the ball." He let's it out not as smoothly as he would of liked but he does. When her grin gets bigger, he thinks he's won the damn lottery.

"I thought you'd never ask!" Sansa lets out standing up to place a kiss on his cheek and move to wrap her arms around him. "Oh and Jon?"

"Yeah?" Here we go the catch she said yes but she wants to say more. Taking a deep breath he braces himself looking at her hesitantly.

"Thank you for believing in me." With that she places a quick peck to his lips and he's absolutely certain that this is all a fever dream. When she moves to sit back down and he's suddenly back with Robb he realizes it really is real. Or maybe that's just the slap up the head from his best friend with the claim, that's for kissing my sister. He doesn't care, it was worth it.

[ssho25]

Our Wedding Cake

I also took part in @fydaiyanoace‘s secret santa gift exchange. This fic is for @miyukei. It was inspired by this post I saw awhile back so, I hope you like! (also available on AO3)

“And you’re sure you can come?”

“Am I sure that I can come to a wedding I said I would attend?”

“Oi.”

“Yes, yes, yes. I’m coming, I promise,” Kazuya said into his cellphone.

“One yes is fine. Don’t mock me you bastard,” Kuramochi replied.

“Ok, mother.”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with making sure that the guy who’s notorious for skipping out on things like this will actually show up this time.”

“You still can’t use the ‘f’ word?”

“Miyuki.”

“We’re friends, it’s okay. You can say it.”

“Miyuki.”

“And it’s not like I’m skipping on purpose. I just have things to take care of first.”

“It won’t kill you to say hi every now and then.”

“You of all people should know how busy a baseball player can be.”

“And you should’ve learned by now how important it is to balance your work and social lives. I’m not saying you’re a workaholic, and I’m not saying you’re not allowed to put in extra practice. I’m just saying that—”

“Congratulations on your wedding,” Kazuya interrupted.

“…Thanks,” Kuramochi said, reluctantly dropping the subject. Kazuya was grateful that Kuramochi knew when to stop.

“So? Who’s all invited?”

“You actually want to know? Or are you looking for a specific person?”

“Why do you bother asking if you know the answer to your own question?”

“Why are we even friends?” Kuramochi muttered. “Yes, Sawamura is coming.”

“How do you know that’s the person I was looking for? What if I was asking about Tetsu-san?”

“Haha, hilarious,” Kuramochi sarcastically retorted. “It’s funny you should mention him though. Because he should be there soon.”

“There? There where? What does that mean?”

Suddenly, Kazuya’s front door burst open with a loud blam! revealing Sawamura Eijun, just like Kuramochi predicted.

“Miyuki Kazuya! Please be my fiancé!” Sawamura shouted, bending into a deep bow.

Kazuya blinked a couple of times. “…Be your what now?”

For whatever reason, Sawamura took Kazuya’s confusion as an invitation to enter his apartment. “I need you to pretend to be my lover so we can test wedding cakes!” Sawamura explained.

“…What?”

“Kyahahaha!” Kazuya jumped at the sound of Kuramochi’s boisterous laughter. He had almost forgotten that he was still on the phone. “I’ll take that to mean Sawamura is there?”

“…You sent him here?”

“I could only book a cake tasting appointment for today, but Ryou-san and I can’t make it. So I asked Sawamura to go and to take you with him.”

“Why?”

“Because the bakery owner is expecting a couple, so I need two people to stand in for us. Ryou-san’s not too fond of sweet stuff and neither are you, so it’s perfect. And what better way for you to spend time with your secret crush?”

Kazuya blushed. “He’s not my secret crush,” he aggressively whispered.

“Oh, right. Everyone knows except the man himself.” Kuramochi laughed again. “Have fun and you’re welcome,” were his final words before ending the call.

Kazuya glared down at his phone, as if it was the source of all his problems. Technically speaking, it really was the source considering this only happened because he answered Kuramochi’s call.

“Come on senpai! Let’s go!” Sawamura grabbed Kazuya’s arm and started trying to pull him towards the front door.

Kazuya knew fighting back was childish, but he was in no mood for this. It also annoyed him how much effort he had to put into fight back. Why did this guy have to be so strong? “Hold on now, I didn’t even say I’d go with you.”

“Why not? It’ll be fun!”

“For you, maybe.”

“But I can’t go by myself!”

“Then just ask someone else! Why do you need me?”

“Kuramochi-senpai is one of the few friends you have! You can at least do something nice for him!”

“Stop thinking I have no friends you rude little shit!”

“I’m not little! We’re basically the same height, tanuki bastard!”

“Nosey loud mouth!”

“Antisocial loner!”

“Shoujo manga otaku!”

“Kazehaya is 10 times cooler than you’ll ever be!”

“Who the hell is Kazehaya??”

“Why are you even fighting me anyway?” Sawamura whined. “It not like you had anything to do.”

“Says who? What if I had practice today?”

“Guess you don’t pay attention to the weather,” Sawamura replied. He pointed at the balcony and sure enough, it was pouring outside.

“It’s not even typhoon season,” Kazuya angrily muttered.

“So now that we’ve proven you have no plans, can we go?”

“But I still have to do research for my next match.”

“No you don’t, your game isn’t until next week.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because you’re playing my team.”

Kazuya clicked his tongue. He had forgotten Sawamura earned a sports scholarship into university. “Then all the more reason not to go.”

“What? Why?!”

“Because you’re the enemy.”

“Oh please, you’d jump at the chance to get any information on a rival team so you can use it against them. Are you forgetting that I spent 2 years with you?”

Apparently, Sawamura was more observant that he looked and Kazuya had run out of excuses to throw at him. “Well…I’m still not going. You can’t make me,” Kazuya lamely finished. He tried again to pull himself free from Sawamura’s grasp, but it wasn’t working. What on earth was Sawamura doing that gave him such a strong grip?

“No!” Sawamura let go of Kazuya’s arm briefly, only to reattach himself to Kazuya’s chest. He wrapped his arms as far as they could go causing his cheek to mash into Kazuya’s back from the proximity. If he wasn’t trying to escape, Kazuya’s heart might’ve skipped a beat.

Kazuya was able to shuffle along the apartment floor to his bedroom through sheer will power, which was a considerable victory seeing as how he had to drag Sawamura the entire way. He clung to his bedroom door frame, hoping the open doorway could give him some leverage and used all his effort to push himself away from Sawamura.

“Senpai, it’s just a few hours!”

“I said no!”

“I promise I’ll leave you alone after this!”

“That’s not the point. I don’t want to go, so I’m not going!”

“Meanie! Cruel! Heartless bastard! Baldy!”

“I’m not bald and you’re pulling down my pants!”

“Is it that bad that I wanted to see you?”

“You…huh?” Sawamura’s question caught him off guard.

“Is it that bad I wanted to see you?” Sawamura repeated in a quieter voice.

“…What do you mean?”

“We never see each other, we don’t even talk anymore, Miyuki-senpai.” Sawamura’s head turned so his forehead was resting against Kazuya’s back. Sawamura’s grip around him slackened too, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. “I mean, it’s not really your fault since we go to different schools, but you still have time for Kuramochi-senpai. And I know you send Chris-senpai emails. You even saw Haruichi and Furuya a few days ago.”

“How did you…?”

“Furuya told me.”

“Ah…”

“…Do you even remember the last time we met?” Sawamura asked in an even smaller voice. Sawamura didn’t let Kazuya respond and answered himself. “A year ago. When you came to watch my game at nationals.”

“That’s not—”

“Yes it is! You didn’t even come to see me graduate.”

“…That’s just your imagination.”

“Then prove it. When was the last time we had a proper conversation?”

“…”

“Is baseball, being battery mates, really all we have?”

“…”

“If I had known that you were just going to avoid me, I wouldn’t have let you kiss me back then.”

Kazuya finally pulled away from Sawamura so he could turn around and look at the other man. Sawamura wouldn’t meet Kazuya’s gaze, his eyes downcast and his face a mixture of disappointment and frustration. Kazuya awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck, unsure of how to proceed in this kind of situation.

No one else knew, but Kazuya had in fact been actively avoiding Sawamura for this very reason. It all started the day Seidou was in the national tournament and he had gone to support his underclassmen. He’d never forget the bittersweet memory of Seidou winning the finals and not being on the field with them. But more than that, he had Sawamura’s bright smile and glowing face forever etched into his mind and his brain telling him ‘that smile isn’t meant for you.’ He remembered going to see Sawamura privately to congratulate him, but the actual conversation was all a blur. The last thing he remembered from that day was Sawamura’s look of shock and the realization of what he’d just done.

Before he could take it back, the team had found them, giving him the chance to shake it off, as if nothing had happened. It wasn’t until he went back to his apartment that he finally understood the meaning behind his actions. It felt relieving to put a name to the feeling, but also terrifying to the point that he couldn’t, wouldn’t, admit it out loud. He knew sooner or later, Sawamura would come asking for an explanation. So, he took the easier route: he ran.

“For the record, I only saw Kominato and Furuya by coincidence the other day,” Kazuya said, breaking the silence.

“So then why do I have to barge into your life just to get you to look at me?”

“Because you want answers that I don’t have for you.”

“Why’d you do it if you were going to regret it?”

“It was a moment of impulse,” Kazuya replied. “You don’t have to take it so seriously.”

“Yes I do, you abandoned me because of it.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“Then why aren’t I in your life anymore?” Sawamura finally raised his head, the pleading in his eyes making Kazuya’s resolve crumble. He grabbed at Kazuya’s shoulders, slightly trembling. “We don’t have to talk about the kiss. I won’t mention it again. If that’s what you want, we can pretend it never happened. Just don’t leave me!”

The seriousness started to make Kazuya uncomfortable. “Why so dramatic, Sawamura? Where’s the kouhai who insults me and flips the bird?”

“He’s still here, but so am I. I left my hometown just so I could play baseball with you. I got a scholarship into university so I could find you again, even though I’m terrible at studying…I’ve been chasing you down for 4 years trying to make you look at me. I’m not going to stop now.”

Sawamura’s firm gaze sent chills down Kazuya spine. Not out of fear, but from nostalgia and excitement. He had missed the intensity, the fire glowing inside Sawamura’s eyes. The fight and determination emanating from them. The look he always had right before they would face a skilled batter. Kazuya loved these eyes so much that he hated himself for how much he loved them.  

“Alright. You win,” Kazuya sighed in defeat.

Sawamura’s face lit up. “You’ll come?”

“Sure, why not? Apparently, I don’t have a good enough excuse to not eat cake until I throw up.”

Sawamura threw himself onto Kazuya, enveloping him in a bear hug. Kazuya had to quickly brace himself for the extra weight before they toppled over. “You won’t regret it, I promise!”

“I don’t know about that,” Kazuya muttered. “It’s just you, me and the owner for a few hours, right? It can’t be that bad.”

“If there’s a god, he hates me,” Kazuya mumbled as he stared up at the ceiling.

He made a mental note to chew out Kuramochi later, because clearly there was no reason for them to pretend they were a couple. As it turned out, it wasn’t just Sawamura, Kazuya and the bakery owner. The cake tasting session wasn’t private and was shared with three other groups: a man and woman, a couple of ladies and an elderly man who had come by himself. Much to his growing dismay, the two women were giggling about how ‘adorable’ he and Sawamura were and congratulated them on their engagement. As if adding salt to the wound, Sawamura bashfully held Kazuya’s hand when thanking the girls, even going so far as to intertwine their fingers. His only small consolation was that the other young man looked just as uncomfortable with the whole ordeal as he was.

“Next, we have a more traditional western style vanilla cake infused with rose water, coated in a champagne buttercream frosting,” The bakery owner said as plates of cake were passed out. “We decorate the cake with chocolate covered strawberries so we’ve included a few of those to try as well.”

Kazuya was thankful that this one wasn’t as sweet as the last few they had tried. It gave his taste buds at least a little break.

“Miyuki-senpai! You have to try the strawberries!” Sawamura excitedly held one up to Kazuya’s face.

Kazuya tilted head back and put a hand up in front of the strawberry. “I’m good, thanks.”

Sawamura used one hand to grab Kazuya’s and hold it down on the table, bringing the strawberry right in front of Kazuya’s mouth with the other. “You’ll like it, I promise! Look, this one has dark chocolate on it so it not as sweet.”

Kazuya glanced over at the other tables to see that all eyes were on them. Even though he was so used to being in the spotlight, he had never felt so uncomfortable from people staring at him. “Okay, okay. Just put it on my plate. I’ll try it later.”

Sawamura tilted his head as if to say, ‘Come on, it’s just a strawberry,’ letting Kazuya know he wasn’t backing down any time soon. Kazuya heard the giggling, but he also knew he couldn’t win against Sawamura’s stubbornness and reluctantly took a bite of the fruit.

“So?” Sawamura asked.

Kazuya hated that smug smile that said Sawamura already knew the answer. So like any childish man in his twenties, he got even. “It was good, thanks babe. Here, you try.” He took the half-eaten strawberry from Sawamura’s fingers and turned it around so it was facing Sawamura.

Sawamura’s face went a light shade of pink and Kazuya smirked in satisfaction. “I…I already tried it.”

“But not this specific one. This could be the best strawberry in the entire world and you’ll never know.”

“I can feed myself.”

“But I need to return the favour.”

The combination of Sawamura’s blush and pout was just too adorable, Kazuya almost gave in. Luckily for him, Sawamura squeezed his eyes shut and took a bite before he did. Sawamura wouldn’t look him in the eye as he chewed and Kazuya could feel those dumb lovesick feelings of his bubbling up again. He silently cursed his past self and the day he started thinking Sawamura was cute.

“Our next cake is more suited for those who like things less sweet,” The shop owner explained. “Similar to a green tea swiss roll cake, it is a green tea sponge cake with whipped cream and red bean paste in the centre. The top we decorate with a thin layer of dark chocolate, some more whipped cream and dusted with some green tea powder.”

Sawamura dove right into the cake as soon as it was set down on the table. “Mmm, this one is good too!”

“You think they all taste good.”

“But they do! Man, this is going to be a tough decision.”

“Thanks for your input, Captain Obvious.” Kazuya shook his head and took a bite of his own slice. He thought this cake was milder in flavour when compared to the other cakes they tried, but the one with the champagne frosting tasted better. He made a mental note of it so he could tell Kuramochi later.

“I think I like the first one better,” Sawamura said.

“We’re not getting that one,” Kazuya immediately answered.

“Do you even remember which cake is the first one we tried?”

“No. But I remember it was really sweet. So we’re not getting it.”

“But it was pretty too…,” Sawamura whined.

“Would Ryousuke-san like it?”

“…He’d probably want the champagne one,” Sawamura reluctantly replied.

“That’s what I thought too.”

“Next up is an entremets dessert inspired cake. The base is our chocolate coffee cake, a devil’s food cake with espresso buttercream coated in chocolate. On top we have a croquembouche and decorating the sides of the base, we have little macarons in an assortment of flavours. We have a few for you to try, but if you select this cake, you are free to choose whichever flavours of macarons you’d like.”

“Why so many different parts to this one?” The woman with the man asked.

“We thought this one was a way to please both young and old. The little ones can enjoy the sweetness of the profiteroles and macarons while your more mature guest can savour the richness of the coffee cake.”

Sawamura turned to Kazuya. “That’s pretty clever. Maybe we should consider this one, Miyuki-senpai.”

“It’s food for thought,” Kazuya agreed.

Sawamura bit into one of the profiteroles and his eyes immediately lit up. “Miyuki! It tastes like a cream puff!”

“That’s because it is a cream puff.”

“I thought it was a…pr-profit-pro…whatever she said.”

“Yeah…that’s what a cream puff is called.”

“Ooooohh…we should get this one!”

“You haven’t even tried the actual cake.”

“But cream puffs are great! And I don’t know what these are, but they look pretty,” Sawamura said as he held up a macaron. “You know what would be fun? If the colour of these things didn’t match the flavour, so it’s like a guessing game.”

“I think that’s asking a little much from the bakers.”

“Oh, oh! And switch it up between the colours too! Like one yellow macaron is cherry flavoured and a different yellow one tastes like vanilla!” One of the girl’s chimed in.

“That way, no one can figure out which macaron is which. They just get a surprise every time!” Her friend finished.

“Yeah! See? They know how to have fun, senpai,” Sawamura chided. “You know what would be even better? If we put in some bad ones, like that ‘Bean Boozled’ game where the jelly beans taste like boogers and…” Before Kazuya could stop him, Sawamura had migrated to the next table over to discuss…grass clipping flavours cookies? He didn’t even know.

Even so, Kazuya couldn’t help but watch Sawamura as he so joyously chatted with the ladies at the table next to them. He didn’t even realize a smile was growing on his face until he turned his head and noticed the elderly man smiling warmly at him. He quickly straightened out, hoping the man wouldn’t say anything.

“That lovebug got you pretty hard, didn’t it?”

Kazuya sighed. Today was just not his day. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“When a man likes watching someone else have fun more than enjoying himself, that’s when he’s a goner.”

“To be fair, I’m not big on sweets.”                

“So then you’re whipped enough that he can sucker you into things you hate.”

“I’m not whipped,” Kazuya said defensively.

“If I had one of them fancy smartphones, I’d be using that whip app right now.”

Kazuya grumbled as the elderly man just softly laughed at him. “Now, now. I’m just teasing. It’s always nice to see a young love like yours.”

“It’s not what you think it is.”

“Nonsense. Believe me, I understand it well. Loud, impulsive, unpredictable, but charming in his own way. Someone special who you can’t seem to take your eyes off of.”

“…Maybe you do get it.”

“Because it’s just like when I first fell in love with my husband. We were just so different, no one thought we were a good match. And yet here we are, 60 years later.”

“Husband?”

“Is a gay couple really that shocking? Have you not noticed who you’re here with?”

This wise-cracking old guy was starting to get on Kazuya’s nerves. Was this how people felt when they got angry with him? “I’m aware, I just didn’t think there were people so open about homosexual relationships. And for the record, we’re not together.”

“That’s called ‘denial’. And I wasn’t at first, it terrified me.”

“Of the prejudice?”

“Of falling in love.” Kazuya stayed silent, allowing the old man to continue. “I mean sure, the stares are uncomfortable and some people are just down right awful. But the real scary part was letting him in.”

“Him?”

“My partner,” said the man. “As a calculated person, he was the wild card in my life. He was full of surprises, but not unpleasantly so. That was the fun part: seeing how he would surprise me next.”

“The day I realized my feelings, I kissed him on impulse…only to run away because I panicked. But he just came right back, barrelling himself into my life. And we’ve been together ever since.”

The elderly man leaned in and put a hand on Kazuya’s back. “Listen here, son. Life is a long journey. Now, you can go down the highway and have a nice, fast trip to your destination, there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you don’t take the long way every now and then, take an unexpected detour, you’re going to miss out on the beautiful scenery. You might even find a gem, something better than you ever anticipated.”

“Sometimes, it’s okay to stray off the path a little. Don’t think too hard and just enjoy the ride.”

Kazuya found himself looking at Sawamura as he soaked in the elderly man’s words. It was a weird coincidence how this man’s life seemed a lot like his own, and yet it also felt like a sign. A nudge towards a choice he never thought he’d take, but wanted a lot more than he thought he did.

“We are now onto our final cake of the day and it’s our newest recipe,” the owner said, shaking Kazuya out of his deep thought. “It is a cherry blossom infused angel food cake with whipped cream and strawberries in the centre. We drizzle the top with chili infused chocolate and decorate with more whipped cream and strawberries.”

Kazuya sat back up and thanked the employee who passed out the cake slices. Now wasn’t the time to get life lessons from strange old men. Not when there was just one cake between him and freedom. His taste buds were probably numb by now but who cared? He had at least a few cakes he could recommend to Kuramochi.

Kazuya cut a bite of cake with his fork and placed the cake in his mouth. And all he felt was disappointment that this wasn’t the first cake they tried. If it was, they wouldn’t have needed to waste their time with all the other cakes. It wasn’t overly sweet, the strawberries added a nice tartness, and the touch of heat from the chili made an excellent combination. It was the first time Kazuya could genuinely say he liked cake.

“This one,” Sawamura blurted out. Kazuya didn’t even realize Sawamura had slid back into the seat next to him. “This is the one. We have to get this one!” The little bit of chocolate smeared on Sawamura’s face only added to the charm of his childlike glee. This damn lovebug.

Kazuya smiled. “I’m glad we agree on something.” He reached out for Sawamura’s face to wipe off the chocolate by Sawamura’s mouth with his thumb. Without even thinking, he pulled his hand back to lick off the chocolate off his finger. It was only when he saw Sawamura’s blush that he clued in to what he had done. Kazuya felt a blush of his own creeping onto his face that only grew darker when he noticed everyone was looking at them.

Praise the lord this session was over.

Kazuya walked out into the streets feeling a little sick. They had tried over 10 different cakes in the span of 2 hours, plus all the extra little treats that came with some of the cakes. That was way more sugar than he could stomach in one sitting. He just hoped he could make it back to his apartment without throwing up the cakes he just ate. He leaned against the building to support himself until the nausea went away.

“Rookie mistake. You don’t need to finish the slice, just eat a couple bites to get the flavour.”

Kazuya felt a firm pat on his back and turned to see it was the elderly man from before. “Well, seeing as how I’m never going to do this again, thanks for the advice I won’t be using.”

The man laughed. “No problem. Always glad to be of help.”

Kazuya hoped Sawamura didn’t take much longer. He really didn’t want to chat with this guy anymore.

“Hey now, make sure you take a good look at what kind of eye-catching flower Eijun grows to be, you hear? And I don’t just mean as a pitcher.”

“Right, right…sure thing,” Kazuya dismissively nodded, more focused on his gut than the words of a stranger. But then it suddenly clicked in his head. When had he mentioned Sawamura was a baseball player? Kazuya quickly spun on his heel. “How’d you know—.” Kazuya stopped short because the man was nowhere to be found, his words (and body) gone with the wind. He frantically swiveled his head from side to side, scanning the streets for the man, but didn’t see anyone who bore a resemblance.  

“Miyuki-senpai?” Sawamura called out. “Are you looking for someone?”

“Did you see where the old guy went?”

“What old guy?”

“The old guy at the cake tasting.”

Sawamura looked confused. “That man may have been older than us, but I don’t think it’s very nice to call him old. Middle-aged at least.”

“Not that guy. The one that was sitting next to us.”

Sawamura looked even more confused than before. “There were only 3 guys at the cake tasting. You, me and the other guy.”

“But I…”

“Did you get high off the sugar? Are you hallucinating right now?” How many fingers am I holding up?” Sawamura made a peace sign in front of Kazuya’s face.

“I’m fine,” Kazuya snapped, swatting Sawamura’s hand away. “Just…forget it. Let’s just go home.” He started walking down the sidewalk, not bothering to wait for Sawamura to catch up.

“When you say home,” Sawamura began once he caught up to Kazuya, “Do you mean your apartment, your house, or…?”

Kazuya looked at Sawamura like he was stupid. “Of course I mean my apartment. You dragged me out here so it’s only fair you take me home before you leave.”

“Are you sure you didn’t want to go to the park? Or look for a wedding gift? Or maybe we could—”

“Sawamura, I just ate more sweets in the past 2 hours than I have in my entire life. My stomach might actually explode. Please don’t prolong my pain.”

“Oh…right, sorry.” Sawamura visibly deflated. If Kazuya looked hard enough, he could almost make out the drooping dog ears on Sawamura’s head. “I just thought it’d be nice to spend some more time together…it’s kind of…been awhile.”

“I missed you a lot,” Sawamura whispered.

“I’ve been…busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Thinking.”

“About?”

“You…me…us.”

“Well could you think less?”

“Could I…what?”

Sawamura stopped in his tracks and forced Kazuya to look at him. “We’re not a battery trying to take down a batter. Right now, it’s just you and me. Just say what you want to say! Don’t think about it too hard.”

“What if I say the wrong thing?”

“Then I hit you until you get it right!”

“Wow, what great persistence you have,” Kazuya said, his words dripping in sarcasm.

“What I mean is, I’m not going anywhere.” Sawamura grabbed Kazuya’s hands and held them in his own. “Instead of running away from me, just face me head on. I’ll take in everything you have to say.”

Kazuya blinked a couple of times before he burst into laughter, smiling as he shook his head. “You never fail to amaze me, you know that?”

“What did I do?”

“You’re the wild card in my life, and I’m going to enjoy the ride.”

“What ride?”

“Nothing, just talking to myself.” Thank you, mysterious, strange old man. “Hey Sawamura, I have an extra room in my apartment.”

“…And?”

“Well, it’s just for storage right now, but I don’t have a lot of stuff. So I was thinking…maybe I could empty out that room.”

“For…what?”

“So someone can stay in that room.”

“You thinking about getting a roommate?”

“I am. And I think I found a good one.”

“Are you sure? Actually, are they sure? Do they know what kind of person you are? Are they aware of what they’re getting into?”

“For Christ’s sake, I’m asking you to move in with me.”

“Move in?”

“Yes.”

“With you?”

“You want to spend more time together don’t you?”

Sawamura looked shocked at first, but it quickly went away and was replaced with doubt. “I thought you didn’t like me.”

“I never said that.”

“Didn’t you regret what you did before?”

“You said that, not me.”

“…Then why did you avoid me all this time?”

“Because I was young and immature.”

“It was a year ago.”

“So that makes me a year older and a year wiser.”

“And more annoying.”

“Hey.”

“You started it,” Sawamura mumbled.

Kazuya grabbed Sawamura and pulled him into a hug. “Because I don’t really know how to do...this,” he whispered. Kazuya clenched his hands into fists to try and stop the shaking. “And that scares me.”

“The great Miyuki Kazuya? Afraid?”

“More than you could ever know.”

Sawamura went silent and Kazuya thought his heart might stop. But eventually, Sawamura’s hands slowly snaked their way around Kazuya. “I don’t really know how this works either.”

“What about all those shoujo manga you read?”

“Well, we don’t exactly fit the mold of what a shoujo manga couple is like.”

Kazuya couldn’t help but chuckle. “No kidding.”

“But that’s okay, we don’t need to be. We can figure it out ourselves. Together.”

“…Yeah…together.” Sawamura hug got just a little bit tighter as he nuzzled his head into Kazuya’s neck. Kazuya couldn’t fight the smile that crept onto his face as he squeezed right back.  

“Also…that last cake…” Kazuya trailed off.

“What about it?”

“We should tell Kuramochi to get the champagne one instead.”

“But I thought we agreed that the last one was the best.”

“Exactly, which is why we should save it for our wedding.”

Sawamura jumped away from Kazuya, his face bright red. “Our what?”

Kazuya didn’t answer and instead pulled him in for their second, but certainly not last kiss.

[getanepipenidiot-blog]

You’re dangerous and intoxicating but I can’t stay away

Growing up, I didn’t think I could be a relationship kind of girl. I always told people: I don’t do relationships... I don’t want a boyfriend. And it was partly true. It was easier to be alone because I had too much on my plate. School, work and dreams that needed accomplishing took precedent. But I didn’t realize that the game changes when you finally fall for someone on accident. It was an accident because I put myself in the friend-zone with you on purpose so that this wouldn’t happen and I fell anyways. Shit.  So let’s walk a mile in my shoes regarding the most aggravating and annoying thing that I like to call “Catching the Feels”.  I knew the first moment that I met you that I liked you. I liked you as a person because you made me laugh so hard that it made me have to pee. You were popular and charming and didn’t really notice me, but when you asked me to homecoming I was extremely excited. So let’s start there. 

Senior Homecoming: You asked me. You were my first official date in my opinion because you asked me in such a thoughtful way and I was so impressed by you. So when I was getting ready for the dance at Zoey's house, I told Jessica and Haley that I was going to ask you out and they encouraged it because they told me you liked me back. I didn’t think so because we’d never really hung out or talked but I took their word for it. I kept going back and forth because I thought that you didn’t really have girls on your radar. You seemed to always be around the boys and no one had ever talked about you and girls, so I just thought you weren’t mature yet. By the end of the dance I had made up my mind and I was ready to ask you out ( I had a what the hell attitude back then and obviously I need to get it back)- I had everything planned. I was going to be straight forward and say "I kind of like you” and maybe mention something about you being so white to make you laugh. I just remembered always trying to do something to make you laugh, to make you notice me. I don’t think I did a good job with it though. I couldn't find you though. You were talking to Katie. Someone (who was it? Shit I can't remember but they had a purple tie) had said, 'he's so into her'. I wasn't crushed at that news, I just felt relieved that I wasn't about to embarrass myself like Junior year homecoming- but that’s another story. How embarrassing would that have been? God, I know you would say no in a heartbeat and I thank my lucky stars everyday that I didn’t.

Katie's House: I'm making beef tacos with seasoning powder from a packet. I'm making white-ass tacos for three drunk girls who decided to raid mommy and daddy's liquor cabinet and get drunk. My cousin has dragged me over here because he's a damn puppy dog and does whatever hot girls tell him to do and I unfortunately went along. I didn't mind until I got there. You were there and I remember that it was brought up that you had come over previously, and you and Katie baked cookies and hung out. I was annoyed. Yup (*Yes your honor) that was the feeling. I told myself I wasn't annoyed because it was you, I was just jealous because she had your attention and that I had wanted anyone’s attention. It also wasn't fun finding out that you let Katie drive your car. I think that hurt my feelings more than anything because I had been dropping hints that I wanted a ride in it forever- She got to bloody drive it while I couldn’t even get a damn ride in the passenger seat. I tried to convince myself that you only let her do that because of the power of a pretty girl. Pretty, nice girls got the attention and sarcastic pricks like myself had to just sit and watch. Looking back I should have never done that too myself. I should have appreciated myself more. Moral of this one: Was this the first time I felt jealous? I didn't think so, but the more I look back on this scene the more I think I was and I don’t rally know how I feel about that to be honest. She was technically my friend and I wasn’t supposed to have been feeling jealous.  Senior Ball: I was sitting in first period. I had just gotten the news that all the boys had planned a way so that they could each take a girl to ball so she wouldn't go stag. I was literally excited because everyone was in a couple so I practically knew who was going to ask me. Apparently I. Did. Not.   Eventually my threats to kick Clayton in the balls was enough for him to give me a hint during class. He made me wait until the bell rang to finally give me a hint: His first name started with an N. Hell. Yes. I remember thinking those words because I thought it was going to be so much fun having you as my date and maybe I would get another chance for you to notice me at the hangout after Ball.  So I waited. And I waited, still no asking. The entire time I'm being led around places in a car and I thought you had made a scavenger hunt and I was so excited. Then I find out it was Sanchez. I didn’t understand what was happening.  Deena had to kick me in the fucking shin so that I'd react after he asked me. Didn't really understand why I was so bummed until I'd found out you'd asked Katie. It was a kick to my self esteem because I literally thought I wasn't pretty enough like she was. I hated her for that. She could have had any guy's attention, and yet she had to take what I had really wanted. But I had fucked myself over on that one. No one knew. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone that I had a crush on you when it was obvious you were following Katie around and that she was just using you. I would look like an idiot because I couldn't compete with her. Not in a million years. Let's face it. So I gave up and tried not to be mad at Katie but I was. I just told people I was mad that she was stringing you along and being a bitch about it. People told me to stop being overprotective and defending you. They told me that you were a big boy and could handle yourself. So that’s what I thought I was feeling. Pretty lame and stupid now that I look back on it. It’s kind of ironic really. 

Ben's Burnoff: I was fine actually. I was too busy dealing with the fact that Joe was treating me like shit to really pay attention to anyone's else's drama. I'm in the living room wanting to change the music. You stole the laptop and wouldn't let me change it. You're furious. I don't know why, and I didn't care. I found out it had to do with Katie and you had called her a tease. That was the first time I'd felt overprotective as fuck, like ‘What the fuck did she do now?’ I had thought that you finally saw what she was doing and cut that shit out and now I was ready to just let her have it. I think it had building for a while, especially with her behavior at Airianna’s house and I was just looking for a perfect excuse to tell her off about it. Funny how I had never felt that way with any of the other guys now that I think about it. I didn’t protect Logan against Alejandra, I didn’t protect Cory from Deena. I knew they were bad but I didn’t feel obligated to warn them. Why did I feel obligated to you? I didn’t owe you anything and we weren’t friends so why did I have the overwhelming feeling to punch Katie in the face? My expression must give myself away, because before I make it half way through the doors to the backyard, Corbin catches me and says, "don't do it". I’m so fucking confused. He tells me he knows that look on my face and that whatever I was about to do to not. He looked like he was going to stop me anyways so I unclenched and let him playfully pick me up and threaten to throw me in the pool. I am thankful to him every day for not letting me cause a scene. I probably would have embarrassed myself and you and you probably would have hated me.

Your Apartment: Katie texts me and tells me she wants to go to your apartment in San Jose. I text her back with a flat out ‘No’. I didn't really want be in the same car with her, but I tell her I'll go if Jess comes too, but she's already gone and so I’m screwed. She starts talking about spending the night and drinking and that wakes me the fuck up. Her, you, and drinking was not a good idea. She was gonna slay you one last time before she left and I couldn't handle it. Of course I went because I was stupid and a glutton for punishment obviously. I can't remember why I had said yes. To protect you? Another chance to see you? Not really sure. You guys are flirting in the living room and Ben pulls me into the kitchen to ask me whether the things you were saying about Katie were true, that you guys were a thing and that she was sending you lingerie pictures. I didn't want to believe it. I said no way would Katie do that. Ben said that he knew it but just wanted to check. That broke my heart. I thought that you were telling people that you guys were together because it was true. I thought that was why Katie dragged me, as an excuse to see you but in a way to hide it. Lies, lies, lies. I didn't even know the truth anymore but I didn't care. I just wanted to go home and I was so tired of being fake happy when I just wasn't. That was the first time in my life that I felt like I’d lost. I thought you guys were together secretly and you still didn’t see me so I gave up. 

Fast Forward a year. Ben's Mission Home: Holy fuck did you look hot that day. I couldn’t believe my eyes or my heart. It did a jumpy thing like almost like a backflip but not really. I don’t really know how to describe it. Maybe that’s the feeling that people talk about when they say their heart skipped a beat? Whatever it was, it was a wake up call. I had to be seen, I had to force you to be my friend because I wanted to talk to you and that’s what I usually did with the people I was interested in.  

I sat across from you at Noah’s bagels on purpose so that I could just stare at you. Creepy I know, but your eyes are the prettiest blue I have ever seen. I know it sounds really cheesy, but I feel calm and tame when I look at them. Sometimes when I’m rambling or hot angry you stare at me with those eyes and I forget what I was even thinking or talking about. Especially in the car. I love it when you turn to look my in the eyes. -I got sidetracked sorry, anyways- 

I think I did my best to convince you that we should be friends but I wasn't sure. So I decided to hit you up over twitter because I'm lame and stupid and didn't have your phone number. The entire time during Noah’s bagels I'm trying to think of a classy and subtle way to ask you for a picture but I think I was bratty and annoyed you into one. When I had posted the picture on Instagram I got so many texts asking me if we were together. I told everyone that we were just friends and then I realized that I wanted to be just your friend for right now. I didn’t want to be in a relationship because I was too busy and I didn’t think you were the relationship type either. 

In between this time and Summer of 2016 I honestly loved texting you. I would see a text come up on the screen and I would instantly get cheered up. I will probably deny it even to this day, but when you said shit like, "when we're married" and that we should live together, it made me ridiculously happy. I liked you're attention. I'll admit it. You made me feel special. It was great, I felt like I was in a relationship without actually being in a relationship and it was the perfect set up. I didn’t have to try and impress you or constantly be worried about what you thought of me. I felt as though it was the perfect setup and maybe I took our easy friendship for granted because when we started fooling around it seemed to really fuck up that dynamic.  Side note-  Now that I look back on it, you were such an anomaly in my life. I hate cute messages, but I love calling you babe and sending you hearts.  I hate texting someone constantly, but I wanted to text you 24-7. I get bored easily, but I love hearing about your day and work stories I hate sending pictures and videos, but on top of doing those things they were embarrassing videos and pictures.  I always had an urge to drop a quick text to you to let you know that I was thinking of you- I do that for all my girls and only you. Maybe this is just a way of seeing that you were like one of my girl friends?  What the fuck was happening here? Why were you the goddamn exception. It’s driving me mad trying to figure it out and it’s funny because you probably couldn’t care less. 

Ice Skating: 

We went ice skating on yet another adventure that I dragged you too because I'm annoying and you let me ( plus I love paying for you because I like taking care of you). We were ice skating and I hadn't remembered having that much fun. I was bored living at home and you always could put a smile on my face. Actually you didn't even need to talk, which you never did now that I think about it. You let me ramble on and on and on. The the moment where  I knew that you literally made my heart so happy it felt like exploding was when I got to hold your hands while we were skating. I liked holding your hands, damn did I like it a lot. I don’t let people touch me or hug me but with you it’s like I loved your touch and got excited every chance I got to hug you. I didn’t know that someone could make me that happy. 

The Text Message: It's not your fault. I know you sent that text as a generic text since we were always saying cute shit to each other, so I know that you didn't mean anything from it and that's okay. This was just the first time I thought that I wanted to be your girlfriend. My whole demeanor changed, and I felt like I was playing a whole new ballgame.  I had like a bam whoosh of feelings: I wanted to hold your hand, I wanted to cook you dinner, I wanted to send you goodnight and good morning text messages, I wanted to piss you off more, I wanted to cuss at you and hear more work stories. I wanted to be the one you called because you just wanted to hear my voice. The one that you surprise at my doorstep just to see me. I wanted to make you laugh and cry and dance with you and tackle you to the couch on lazy days. I wanted to actually wanted to be able to call you Babe and actually have you feel that I meant it.  But I couldn’t tell you all these things. I wasn’t allowed to have these feelings because I was scared that you’d reject them. I didn’t trust you and I convinced myself to push down those feelings because they were 1. Irrelevant 2. Inconvenient 3. Not true. I convinced myself I was just lonely in Santa Barbara and that I didn’t really want to be your girlfriend. The whole day was a rush and a blur but it went a little like this: 

I was exhausted, I had just crashed onto my bed, it’s midnight, and I’m just about to fall asleep from a long ass clinical day. 12 hours and I had only eaten a banana and drank 2 cups of coffee- but that's another story. Anyways, I see a text from you and I’m instantly wired. I’m always wired when I see a text message from you, that’s why you get the spade next to your name: it's an adrenaline rush into my veins when you text me. You tell me that you've had a long and hard day and that you were going to go have a drink. You told me that you were about to receive a whole new list of witnesses to go over and that you were working on a new case-- I love your work stories by the way. You probably know this already, but it's because I'm proud of you. I’ll say I love hearing  your work stories because I find that line of work interesting, but really, I can hear the pride in your voice when you talk about it and the fact that you're happy makes me happy. I wish you'd talk more about how you feel doing what you do rather than the cases itself but that's another tangent. Anyways, I’m up now but I know that you're exhausted and that you want to get that drink, so I lie and say that I’m tired and I tell you this: Step 1: Stop texting me Step 2: Put the phone down Step 3: Have a drink Step 4: Tell me the story next weekend Step 5: Go to bed happy And you tell me that Steps 4 & 5 go hand in hand. I know you didn't mean anything by this. I’m not stupid, I know that you're not really a romantic person so you're just saying what comes naturally. But my heart did the hardest backflip of it's life. The thought that you go to bed happy thinking of me made me realize that sometimes I do the same. Then the rush of feelings came and I pushed them down so hard until you couldn’t see them anymore. It’s what I’m good at. I’m an emotional liar. It’s safer that way.  So here’s what I know: We’re no good together. We have nothing in common and we’re two separate and different people. You’re a closed book and I’m an open one. You’re cool and calm and I’m a hot ball of fire. I talk a million miles per hour and your quiet with me. I like to laugh and you don’t laugh at my jokes. You’re never really interested in me or about getting to know me, but I constantly always try to get to know you. I’m tired. I’m exhausted all the time and I like being on my own, and you like to always be with friends and are always doing something. 

So this is what I’ve decided to do. I’m going to slowly inch out of your life. Make it so that you forget that I ever existed that way it’s easier on me to get over my feelings. I’m selfish like that. I saw you way before you saw me and it’s easier to say that we don’t belong together and try to turn off the switch to these feelings because I couldn’t do that to you. You like your independence and you’re not looking for a relationship. So I’ll slowly surrender because it’s what’s best.  I have to say that I’m pretty proud of myself. This is the first time I’ve dealt with feelings and I’ve established a goal: locate them and then annihilate them. Keeping it logical and reasonable all the time. I should be staying by myself until I find someone equally obsessed with me as I am them. That’s the way it should be.  Peace.