#i am not in a parasocial relationship with David Tennant

[kbh792-9]

[nerdynonbinarylife]

Analyzing a movie or a series PLANNED and WRITTEN by an author is absolutely okay and we're all absolutely happy to read about it.

Analyzing PERSONAL LIFES & RELATIONSHIPS of REAL PEOPLE like actors over Social Media Posts on the other hand is absolutely NOT okay.

Stop it.

[edgarallennope]

I work very hard internally to resist the thrall of parasocial relationships, I work to keep a distance (almost a professional distance) between myself and the people's who's work and art I admire, to remind myself that I do not know them and that to presume I do so is odd and invasive.

My friends I am working overtime right now not to get myself emotionally attached to multi award winning actor, family man and outspoken queer and trans ally David Tennant in this particular rough patch I'm going through I am fighting so goddamned hard.

[variousqueerthings]

i do think one of the things i really enjoy about nu!who is that so many of the doctor's relationships are either established to be -- or retroactively written as in the case of some classic!who returning characters -- Super Intense in a way that cannot be quite nailed down. that ambiguity is key to my enjoyment

some of this is because of nu!who playing alloromantic-chicken -- that is, they kinda wanna do something sexy and romantic, which they see as functionally the same thing, but they veer off to the left at the last second every time (which, fascinating to analyse on its own) -- but that just means that these relationships take on a fascinating tinge of not romantic not platonic but a secret (queer) third thing that is heightened because of the science fiction Element of it all (the doctor is an immortal alien who travels around time and space, functionally forever until the show decides otherwise, while everyone else must eventually leave the show for some reason... except for the master, of course, who has themself defined their relationship as basically a secret third thing in canon... in fucking m*ffat's canon no-less), but it is still grounded in incredibly real human identity concepts and relationship constructs... but... not necessarily on purpose a lot of the time? (donna is on purpose, but would they ever describe it as an aroace qpp... maybe one day, I've just gotta get a one-on-one with rtd or david tennant, they'd get it, I know they would!) (my parasocial relationship with these two consists of me explaining aroace queer philosophy to them and both of them nodding and instantly understanding and telling me how smart I am)

this to say that anyone who does enjoy the alloromantic read of things, can obviously have at it, that's their enjoyment and the show doesn't not say that's a possible read, but it's always interesting to me when the people who don't enjoy it can't read (queerly) outside of their amatonormative box to know/understand that there are a million and one ways that these relationships can be described. there's just... no curiosity there in delving into the actual dynamics, because once something has a will-they-won't-they romantic undertone, any interesting analysis of the actual Bones of what's going on just seems to fly out of the window. it's been cursed by amatonormativity. it is nothing other than Romantic. the end

there's something about the way that amatonormativity actively makes interacting with this show worse (it's the inherent aroaceness of the main character and people not engaging with that read because they either don't know aroaceness exists or they don't think it's a real thing or they don't think it's "actually" queer, and so instead the show is hetero-ized, to the point that people might be shocked that the doctor could call a man hot, because nothing else that could be read as queer -- never mind the onscreen gay shit that's happened already -- is happening in this show, that's... that's what it is). it limits the kind of spaces it can go into and it limits the ability to enjoy the intensity of these relationships for what they are in the text, by simply reading what you don't want into it and then making up a guy to get mad at (the exception may be river song's arc, but even that -- in its own, flawed "river song consistently reads as having no self-esteem when it comes to the doctor and was also groomed from birth to be obsessed with them" kind of way -- goes beyond strictly normative alloromantic allosexual reads)

but this show -- specifically nu!who, because classic!who never allowed that kind of ambiguity in the same way from what I've seen so far/have read, the word "Asexual" meant something different on that show (celibacy, monkhood, the learned scholar, etc) -- has (unintentionally?) offered a smorgasbord of intense, well-written, aromantic and asexual relationship dynamics, all centred around one single character, and people don't see it as an option, because they don't quite... get it... as concept... as a real, human concept, not just a science fiction conceit

anyway, the arguably most easily definable relationships the doctor has are with all the characters one might describe from the doctor's perspective as "proteges/students/ersatz children/grandchild," and that's not to say those relationships are not super intense, it's just a slightly easier dynamic to pinpoint and explain (although i think if, for example, bill had met thirteen that dynamic might have become very muddied very quickly......)

[dr-mcfell]

i went all of my life up until now very disinterested in celebrities and actors everything. i didn't have parasocial relationships. literally even after the first season of good omens i was FINE. and ever since GO2 these absolute motherfuckers MICHAEL SHEEN AND DAVID TENNANT have TARNISHED my reputation. i am no longer the one who's normal about people. i'm freak. i'm a weirdo. what the hell am i doing here

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Every time I think 'surely we've left speculating about people's identity in the past', I am slapped on the face with the stinking reminder that no, in the year of our lord and saviour bildad 2024, here we are.

This is to the people who still think this is okay: Celebrities are human beings. They are not your property. Yes, you pay their salaries, and you support them, because they are doing their job. You can't be yelling about capitalist employers and how they act like they own their workers, and then do the absolute same.

They are not your property, and no, they don't owe it to you to be performers or live the way you want them to. They don't owe you every single detail of their personal lives to fuel your parasocial relationship with them. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I'm still angry about what happened to Kit Connor. He was eighteen, and 'fans' of a show that celebrated queer positivity, how personal identity is and the ups and downs about coming out, these 'fans' attacked him on social media to reveal his sexuality. That was an eighteen year old boy you forced to come out of the closet. It happened to Becky Albertalli too.

Now coming to David Tennant and Taylor Swift, the two I've seen discussed on this site. I'm just shocked at the gall that some fans have to say they know the identity of these people more than they do. I know David Tennant uses he/him pronouns, and why is that? Because he said so, and that is the end of the matter. That's how you respect pronouns. Of both cis and trans people. I know Taylor Swift is straight, and why is that? Because she said so. The whole "gaylor" thing is the most ridiculous phenomenon I've ever seen. This isn't a character for you to pick apart and look at clues and dissect songs and scenes. This is a real human being and whatever may be your opinion on her, you need to respect that.

I can't believe we're still having to discuss this.

TLDR: Celebrities aren't your property, don't police anyone's identity, respect human beings and their right to dignity and privacy. Stop putting them in a difficult position where they feel forced to defend their identity continuously while also trying not to offend people, and to try and explain that it's perfectly alright to be queer, it's just that I'm not. It doesn't matter whether any celebrities eventually come out, or if they don't, the fact remains that this is their identity. And their story to tell.

joking about dt gender online with friends is silly and fun but debating about his pronouns on twitter because you’re mad he’s a he/him is another level of delusion