#i am not doing that to myself today no sirree

[bannock-freak]

part of the disability tax is rebuying stuff you probably already have because you took one look at the completely inacessible boxes in your closet that you'd have to dig through on the chance the item in question MIGHT be in one of them, thought about it, and decided 'nah fuck that'

[carcinized]

the only thing i can think to send an ask about atm is something that i have been avoiding talking about bc we do not acknowledge or validate our feelings here, no sirree

(i am a bad role model. hello people who see this, your feelings are valid and communication is important. i am trying to get better and i will bring you all down with me. get in, bitches, we're doing self care <3)

no but yeah on the topic of Said Thing i finally mentioned to someone i need to talk abt it with that we need to talk! progress! lowkey proud of myself

halloween is gonna be so fun! i am going to my friends house and i have No Clue what we are doing but its gonna be so great bc i love these friends <3

i think if i can stop being lazy abt taking pictures of my art i will send mutuals little halloween doodles :o excited for that

also if i manage to do that, tubbunny will finally emerge from my sketchbook for tumblr to see, so. :eyes:

confession time: i have never played minecraft. i Want to, both bc 1) my friend has recreated ancient roman buildings and stuff in minecraft and it seems So Cool, 2) my best friend has gone on a rant abt how evil creepers are, among other things, and i would Like to Experience This, and 3) your posts about it make me go :OOOO - like not even the dsmp/mcyt stuff, but just the stuff abt the game itself that you post seems very cool. also all of my old coping mechanisms are failing so. i need a new hobby. so far minecraft and embroidery are the top contenders. the only Issue is that i dont have a computer, i'd have to steal my mom's, and i Dont Like asking my parents for things

okay that's a ramble that was lowkey scary to write about. but i am feeling.... Something right now, perhaps just a lack of impulse control or brain-to-keyboard filter, so! now we can prove to my brain that people will not automatically hate me for having not done certain things or whatever! (or we can prove my brain right, which i mean. that's cool too. science experiments, baby)

jeez this is long... uhm. i will return shortly, gonna go take medications now bc i was supposed to do that half an hour ago! and also feed my bunnies bc i did not eat dinner today and i usually feed them after i eat so- that did not happen-

validating feelings is very important, telling the person you need to talk is a big step and i am very proud of you <3

ooooo :] for my halloween, other than the deez nuts pumpkin obviously, im going to my grandma's house to spend the day with her and my cousins, then coming home and watching movies and eating candy and stuff with my like. immediate family and my aunt (who lives with us. kind of) and im really excited!! its gonna be cozy and fun :]

OOOOOO HALLOWEEN DOODLES!!! its okay if you dont, but if you do itd be super awesome :D PLUS TUBBUNNY YESSS <3333

oh :O lots of people havent played minecraft before, thats totally chill ^-^ i practically grew up on the game & minecraft content so its like second nature to me (though i must admit that i never really mastered it. to this day i've never beat a survival world on my own without cheats JSDLFJS). if you ever download it, i bet youd like it! plus you can play on mobile if you want, its just bedrock edition, which is better or worse depending who you ask. it does cost money though, so you might have to ask your parents about that. but if you ever do end up playing i bet youd enjoy creative mode. you can make so many cool things!! :D

meds are important, make sure you take them!! <3 and yeah, feeidng your bunnies is probably good. sdjaskdfjsfkl take care stardust, thank you for the ask!! <3

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 149: Villain Island

Previously on BnHA: Twice confronted Nighteye with a clone of Rappa. Nighteye proceeded to beat his ass using rubber seal stamps, incidentally revealing his surprisingly cut washboard abs. Night then blasted away part of Twice’s mask, forcing Twice to retreat in a panic. His personality disorder started to get the better of him, but then Toga showed up and tied a bandana around the missing part of his mask, and it calmed him down and was also the sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Twice briefly flashbacked to the League of Villains meeting when Tomura announced that Togawice would be lent out to the Eight Precepts. Twice was against this because it turns out he feels responsible for introducing Overhaul to the League and getting Magne killed (and Compress maimed, but no one cares about him). Toga wasn’t keen on it either, but Tomura somehow won them both over by smiling and making it seem like he had a plan in the works. Whether he actually does is anyone’s guess, but damned if it wasn’t convincing. Anyway, so now Toga and Twice are fed up with the Precepts’ general incompetence, though, and are ready to turn on them. And I’ve never been so excited for a plot twist in my whole damn life.

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Overhaul meets Togawice for the first time and asks them about their quirks. The Precepts then ask if Tomura plans on betraying them, and Twice and Toga are all, “[shifty eyed glance] nope, nothing to see here. no impending betrayals on our end, no sirree.” This apparently is good enough for Overhaul, who asks them to sit tight and wait for further orders. Back in the present, Irinaka makes one last-ditch effort to crush the remaining heroes in his accursed hallway. However, Toga gets him to reveal his true body, and Deku and Aizawa immediately attack. With Aizawa having finally neutralized his quirk, Irinaka is detained. We then cut to Mirio, with time rewinding back to show what happened immediately after he went forward on his own and caught up with Overhaul.

But the real star of this chapter is the omake at the end. Kurogiri takes it upon himself to improve solidarity among the League by taking them all on a mandatory outing to an uninhabited island to engage in a survival trial. Tomura spends the entire time lounging on a couch, Dabi unleashes his inner Bear Grylls, Toga steals a bikini, and tbh I kind of wish we could get an entire manga series of just this. But we’ll just have to settle for these four pages, I guess.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 178, now. If I’d known yesterday’s Superbowl would end up somehow being more boring than this entire arc, I would have never bothered taking the day off. But, well, hindsight.)  

no, I don’t mind at all

by the way what exactly is going on here with Twice and these handcuff-looking things that I’m not actually sure are handcuffs. because that cord looks more like an earjack cord. but why is it coming from the bracelet like that. I basically have so many questions about this image, and am now also more closely examining exactly why Twice chose a skintight bodysuit as his villain costume

(ETA: I have no excuse. he’s fought with them before and everything; I just never noticed.)

more villain flashbacks!!

but this time it’s T&T introducing themselves to the Eights

“I’m never gonna forgive you, so it’s a pleasure to be working with you” ahaha. classic Twice. this is the kind of iconic bullshit that I’m reading this manga for

Overhaul’s apologizing for killing Magne and says he didn’t want to

but if you really felt that way you could have easily put her back together again, you sociopath

oh my god look at this though??!

holy shit. so she really is another canon trans character, and it’s treated seriously too. I mean, obviously it’s not perfect, and it also sucks that she got killed off, but I’m so used to LGBT manga characters being treated as comedic relief at best, so this frank statement of “hey you misgendered my friend, get it right” and it being totally serious is actually really refreshing

also what is Viz going to do when they get to this chapter. most likely change it up entirely I’ll bet. fucking Viz

anyway, so Twice is all “so now what” and Overhaul says he and Toga just have to follow his orders

he’s also asking for the details of their quirks

but Toga is all “we’ll tell you if and when it’s needed because fuck you”, and have I mentioned I love her???

but holy shit though

bud. are you like, okay. jesus christ

so Twice has decided he hates this and he’s not going to say anything

so naturally the very next thing he does is explain his quirk in great detail!!

holy shit this is an unexpected info dump

once again Horikoshi is all “I see your questions and I will answer them in due time.” so it was a tape measure!! has he had these this whole time?

just went back and checked. yes he has. unbelievable

still waiting on an explanation for that skintight bodysuit though

some of this goes against what we previously knew about his quirk, though. this is the first time a two-thing limit has been brought up, and that seems to go against the whole Calvin and Hobbes “I made a bunch of clones of myself” thing that we know he did way back when (and which he’s also referencing here, as I assume it’s the reason he no longer makes copies of himself). maybe the limit only applies to things/people that aren’t him?

this reminds me a lot of Momo’s quirk in that he needs to know a lot about the object before duplicating it. which means he’s definitely a lot more intelligent than he sometimes comes off as

I mentioned a couple chapters ago that Toga is extremely intelligent as well, and now I’m wondering if Tomura realizes just how lucky he is to have all these smart crazy people on his side. we’ve seen the quality of Overhaul’s own followers, by contrast, and the League most definitely has them beat

anyway! so Toga’s staring at Twice in annoyance for going off like that right after she made a big deal of not telling Overhaul anything

she says he made her look stupid

OMG YESSSS so now she’s going into the details of her own quirk after all omggggg

look at the damn hoops Horikoshi’s making himself jump through all because he made the decision not to do any villain bios. well it’s your own damn fault

I’m starting to understand why Deku keeps all these notebooks

the bit about the transformation time being proportionate to the amount of blood she consumes is extremely interesting and relevant, and now it makes sense why she had that weird gizmo to suck as much blood as possible

I would estimate she got maybe a cup of Ochako’s blood, so we can assume she can transform into her for up to 1 day if needed. but as for Deku, we saw in chapter 114 that she only managed to get like a couple drops worth

one drop is about .05 ml, which is about .0002 cups. so she can transform into Deku for .04% of one day unless I fucked that math up (which is highly possible)

what is that, like a couple seconds?? because if so, holy shit but I’ve been vastly overestimating her ability to wreak mindbendy havoc on our heroes

also does she have to drink the blood right before the transformation for best results? if she drinks someone’s blood but then doesn’t transform into that person right away, does she eventually lose the ability even if she doesn’t transform into them? or can she store that “energy” and use it whenever she likes?

basically this is awesome to be getting so much information here, but now if anything I’ve just got more questions

(ETA: for real. either I really did calculate that wrong, or she got more of Deku’s blood than I thought, or Horikoshi is the one that fucked up the math lol. oh well, it’s easy enough to just shrug and go along with it)

anyway! I almost forgot there was still a chapter going on

so now Overhaul’s henchman is casually asking if Tomura is planning to betray them. well duh

very convincing. well done

anyway, Overhaul seems satisfied for the time being, but he’s telling them they’ll have to stay in the underground HQ until they receive their orders from him. so basically house arrest

and now he’s leaving and Mimic is having a total power trip

seriously dude, simmer down

he’s babbling on about the yakuza getting revenge and “taking back society’s reins from the shadows” and fulfilling the dream of their bedridden boss

and now I think we’re back in the present

and this lil fellow is, as you’ll recall, the guy who’s currently controlling all the shifty walls of the underground HQ while all hopped up on quirk-enhancers

Toga and Twice are having a conversation mid-somersault about how they’re gonna let the heroes take out the Precepts for them. I think

meanwhile Aizawa is asking Deku if he also heard the crazy voice coming from the walls which is, as Deku surmises, Irinaka’s voice

ohhhh I see, if they can pinpoint where the voice is coming from then they can find Irinaka’s real body and like punch him until he quits being an asshole and dragging out the arc with his stupid quirk

do you know, I just realized that basically this entire thing is his fault, and just like that he’s my least favorite character. that’s right. you beat out Stain and even Mineta, because Mineta only ever hijacks like a page or two at a time at most. certainly not a dozen chapters in one go

but anyway, the voice is echoing too much for them to pinpoint it

meanwhile the cops are freaking out because they’re about to get crushed

I can’t figure out why Mimic didn’t just actually crush them all to begin with and be done with it. unless it’s just that he didn’t want the full force of the law bearing down on their organization and seeking justice for dozens of cop murders

HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS TOGA IS TAKING MATTERS INTO HER OWN HANDS

NEVER SEND A BUNCH OF SO-CALLED HEROES TO DO A VILLAIN’S JOB

HOLY SHIT WHAT’S HAPPENING NOW. IRINAKA IS SCREAMING INCOMPREHENSIBLY AND DEKU SEEMS TO HAVE HEARD IT AND IS NOW RUSHING TOWARD THE SOURCE OF THE NOISE

AHHHHH DID HE DO IT???

I CAN’T TELL IF HE GOT HIM. SURELY THAT SMASH WASN’T JUST FOR SHOW

OH MY GODDDDD

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

AND T&T ARE WAVING AT HIM GLEEFULLY AS HE FALLS

I LOVE EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT

the amount of relief I’m feeling right now can accurately be described as “overwhelming” and it’s amazing

because he’s SUCH A GOOD FUCKING PERSON, Deku is catching Irinaka as he falls, because this is BnHA where a fall from a great height onto a bunch of rocks actually will kill you

and please tell me the rooms are back to normal now omg

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THANK YOU MANGA GODS

HOLY SHIT!!!!!

MIRIOOOOOOOOOO

holy shit. holy fucking shit, finally. finally

FLYING SOLO AGAINST THE FINAL BOSS HOLY SHIT

so is this the part where we find out Mirio is fucking dead omg. holy shit. but you know what, I don’t even care, because we’re finally up to the good stuff and no more bullshit. I feel another binge coming on

  BONUS:

 oho, what’s this? “special jump outing”?

I don’t know where to fucking start omg

first of all, I’ve actually been impressed with their solidarity thus far so this is news to me

second, I can’t with how their idea of team bonding is “let’s build a house from scratch together on an uninhabited island”

third KUROGIRI WHAT ARE YOU WEARING

cutie

I swear to god if they keep up these antics I’m downgrading their name from “League of Villains” to “Villain Squad Jr.”

Tomura is trying to remind us all that he’s For Reals Evil but idk

on the one hand, we actually have seen this guy kill a man with his bare hands. but on the other hand, it was revenge for Magne, and he hasn’t killed anyone else that I can think of, aside from probably his parents by accident

and also my favorite of all the villains is the only one who is for sure a psychotic serial killer, so it could just be that I don’t actually care

so Kuro is telling Tomura to be less strange, and announcing that the first order of business is to secure a water source

are you telling me you came to this random island to build a house and you don’t even know where you’re building it yet

and now there appears to have been some kind of cut, and Tomura is drinking ginger ale. fucking ginger ale. you’re not evil at all, are you

I can’t believe I was actually worried about what these guys might do to Bakugou if they kept him. their idea of torture is probably less fingernail-pulling and more “let’s make him watch a bunch of Kay Jewelers commercials until he cracks.” which to be fair would break me pretty quickly

(ETA: although Tomura did get pretty hardcore there with Overhaul at the end! but I mean, Overhaul was a total prick you guys. that doesn’t count)

and now he’s tied Kurogiri to a tree and is just making him warp over whatever they need

everyone please look at this panel of Dabi wearing overalls

“unexpectedly into it”

this is the most damning evidence yet that he’s definitely related to Shouto

you go Dabi. I feel like he’s learned all about how to survive on a tropical island by like watching Moana a bunch of times or something

consider the coconut, consider its tree, we use each part of the coconut, that’s all we neeeeed

meanwhile Tomura is reading a magazine on a couch on the beach

Toga is wading in the ocean and her overalls got wet so she’s changing into a bikini

did we ever confirm she was really responsible for those serial murders. it could have been someone else. you never know

anyway she stole the bikini and Kurogiri is acting all shocked like “omg this girl really stole a bikini” but like. what else is she gonna do. pay for it like a normal person

don’t tell me you guys were actually legitimately leasing that bar this whole time. Kurogiri probably actually had his liquor license

so Toga is legit frolicking, and Tomura is playing a PSP or something. with the hand still on his face. how can you even see the screen

and now Dabi has caught them all lazing about and he’s throwing a fit

he’s even doing teamwork

now he’s lecturing Dabi on what’s really important

I think they probably would have turned off the Kay Jewelers commercials after like five of them or so and been all “okay I hope you learned your lesson.” and then if he still didn’t want to join them they would have been all “fine then but it’s your loss” and given him a ginger ale and sent him back home

so now Kurogiri is rescinding all rules and letting them all do their thing

Villain Squad Jr. it’s fucking official

and that’s the end of the strip. but the bonus material is still continuing because FA has been doing these translations of the character book! and the next page is amazing oh my god

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, IN THE FUTURE WHEN I INEVITABLY START TO WRITE FANFIC ABOUT THIS STUPID ADDICTIVE SERIES THIS IS A FUCKING REFERENCE GOLDMINE

right away I feel like a good 75% of fanfics are slightly off because U.A. has compulsory Saturday classes. say goodbye to your weekend getaway antics

they don’t actually have much homeroom time with Aizawa in the morning. what subject does he actually teach? I need someone to tell me, I refuse to believe Horikoshi hasn’t established this in canon by now. it’s probably somewhere in this very book

(ETA: I STILL NEED TO KNOW THIS. I’M STILL GOING TO INSIST IT’S ART IF HORIKOSHI DOESN’T CORRECT ME)

anyway, that’s it for today, but that was awesome. on I go to chapter 150

[rosettared]

Surprise, @sariahsue​! I’m your Secret Santa this year! Thank you, @mlsecretsanta​ for organizing this event, it’s great to be a part of something like this uwu I hope you enjoy the first half of your two-parter present!

She’s a Gift - One

Summary: Adrien’s birthday is around the corner, but he isn’t exactly excited about it. He’s been hoping that this could finally be the year his father would dedicate the entire day just for him – so when he’s told that Gabriel will be away on the week of his birthday, Adrien’s lost all joy for the big day. Marinette is determined to help him find it again – saving the day is her forte, after all.

Pairings: Ladybug/Chat Noir, Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Nino Lahiffe/Alya Cesaire, Tom Dupain/Sabine Cheng

Tags: Pre-Relationship, Post-Reveal (the main 4 all know their identities)

Word Count: 4651

One | Two

Things were far too calm for Adrien’s liking.

The superhero was perched atop the towers of the Notre Dame, dangling his legs from the top of the cathedral, his heartbeat finally steadying and his panting ceasing from all the running he had done on his way here. He wasn’t even supposed to be out, but he had hoped that a quick late-night patrol of his own would do him some good– for the city lights and the busy bustling to send buzzes to his brain, for the noises to fill his head with other thoughts.

Instead, it was quiet. The night air crisp and still, Parisians peaceful and safe in their homes, the Seine showing no signs of rippling. Not much was happening tonight, and Adrien hated it.

If he had wanted a silent night, he would have stayed home.

His ears perked at the sound of feet landing from behind him on the platform. He could only guess who would have found him on her turn for night patrol. “I didn’t think I’d see you here, Chat Noir,” Ladybug announced her arrival.  

He turned to face her, only offering her a half-smile and a two-fingered salute, then watched as she made her way over to him and took a seat beside him. He tried for a nonchalant demeanour and pretended not to notice how her eyebrows crinkled and her lips straightened in worry – but this was Ladybug. There was no fooling her, and there was nothing about him that he could possibly hide that she wouldn’t figure out.

And now that the wall of secret identities was knocked down, that couldn’t have been truer.

“What brings you here, My Lady?” Adrien prompted, breaking the eye contact to look over the river, unchanged from its stillness. Though he wished more was going on, Ladybug’s presence could just help distract him.

“Funny, I could ask you the same question,” she replied, following suit and staring down at the view before them. “I patrol Wednesday nights solo, remember? I didn’t think I’d have company.”

“Yeah?”

“I thought you’d be sitting around in front of your three desktops, studying for next week’s math test.”

“Ah, lest I evoke the wrath of the vengeful Mme. Mendeleiev for ‘distasteful derivatives?’”

“I can see it now: akuma wreaks havoc on the city of Paris, leaving burning marks of mathematical equations on the path she treads, targeting her one best student for failing the most important test of the semester!” Ladybug spoke, her tone firm and monotonous, not falling short of sounding like a reporter. “She will not stop until she has local buffoon Adrien Agreste in her clutches!”

“Hey!” he protested, lightly punching her arm.

“One can never be too careful with that woman,” she shrugged, and Adrien looked back at her to see her smile from their banter, only for it to quickly disappear. Now that she had his attention, she scooted closer to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, not once looking away. “Something’s bothering you, Adrien. Do you want to talk about it?”

Adrien.

It had been three months since the two had revealed their true identities, but hearing Ladybug, Marinette, say his real name never failed to give him butterflies every time. Though things were pretty awkward in the first week and they got a little distant, they found a way to reconcile, and after that their relationship had been stronger than ever.

It was funny, really – a year ago, they had just been good friends who shared the same classes, unaware that they had also spent every day protecting Paris from danger together, even crossing paths to rescue the other untransformed. They had even shared their troubles with each other without even realising it. They had been so close, yet so far.

Now it was like she was a different person, yet the same. The reveal had changed everything, and no longer could he see her the way he had before. He knew Marinette was Ladybug, and Ladybug was Marinette, but his brain couldn’t really process that. It felt too good to be true, as if he were in a beautiful dream and he was about to wake up at any moment. With his dumb luck, he couldn’t believe that the two most incredible women in his life were the same person.

Yet, here she was – right there by his side, silently watching, waiting for him to speak.

Adrien let out a resigned sigh, bringing his own clawed hand to hers, and gave a small smile. He supposed it was time to share, and he couldn’t possibly imagine sharing his thoughts with anyone else. “Well, I’m not sure if you know this, but… well, my birthday’s coming up on Friday and-”

“A-pshh, a-pfft, your what?” Ladybug jumped. “Oh it’s your birthday this Friday I had no idea I had absolutelyno idea look at me I’m totally someone who did not know your birthday was so soon and did not have something planned for you no sirree!” Adrien couldn’t catch a single word from how fast she spoke, but maybe he wasn’t meant to. “I’m sorry, you were saying?”

“Anyway,” he proceeded. “Well, I’ve been thinking about my father. All year I’ve been hoping for some father-son quality time on my birthday. I thought maybe he’d suggest a change of pace from the three lame pens he used to get my every year. Although, he did surprise me with that blue scarf last year.”

“Right, I remember,” she said. “Yes, the scarf. The blue one. From your father.”

Ladybug was acting a little odd, but perhaps he shouldn’t think anything of it.

“So, I come home from basketball training today, and then I see in the foyer my father at the top of the staircase with a couple luggage bags next to him. He tells me that he’ll be away for a couple weeks on some business trip to London, and that I am ‘expected’ to follow my schedule by the minute, as usual. He doesn’t even address that he’ll be missing my birthday, and now he’s gone, and…” Adrien didn’t realise how much tension he had on his shoulders until he felt Ladybug rub them away. She waited until he was more relaxed to retreat her hands to her lap.

“And now things just… suck,” he continued, shoulders slumped. “Shouldn’t have been so surprised, right? I mean, I’m no stranger to my father letting me down over and overagain, but… never mind. It was stupid for me to hope. I didn’t want to deal with it, so I… I left my room and ran on the rooftops and ended up here. I was hoping for a bigger distraction, but things are too quiet here. Kinda makes me wish for an akuma to beat up right now.”

Ladybug chuckled. “Well, we’ve got school tomorrow, so maybe that’s not the best,” she joked.

“Kinda on me for daring to dream.” Adrien felt defeated. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave the house, after all. Hearing himself actually voice out his thoughts made him realise that he was just running away from his problems again. He took one last look at his polka-dotted partner before standing up and extending his trusty baton. “I’m sorry, I… I should go. I’ll leave you to your patrol. Goodnight, Lady-”

“Wait!” Ladybug was up on her feet and grabbed his hand, jerking him towards her and stopping him from finishing his goodbye. The force of her pull was enough to make him topple a little, but she was there to stop him from falling, getting a hold on his arms for support.

“Please don’t go,” she looked up at him, pleading. “You don’t have to. Being on patrol by myself gets pretty boring. And besides, things are too quiet, right? I’d really appreciate having you around.”

It was then that he noticed how close she was to him, chest-to-chest and their arms snaked together, and at that very second, he couldn’t breathe. Once she realised the same, she took quite a step back from him, a dark red blooming on her cheeks and her hands kept to herself.

She brought a fist to her mouth and cleared her throat. “Adrien, stay. Please?” she asked once more, capturing him wholly in her bright blue eyes.

Who could say no to that?

“Okay,” he muttered, and he let her pull him back down to sit next to her again. He had his eyes on her hands, the ones he so desperately wanted to take in his own and rub his thumbs on the back of her palms, but he was hesitant. If there was some indication that she was too, he couldn’t see it. Knowing if she was as confused as he was would bring him ease but frustrate him at the same time.

Where did they stand?

“So…” she began, sounding unsure of what to say. “what are you gonna do now? For your birthday, I mean, not right now kinda now, like, you’re just sitting here keeping me company because I asked you to, so obviously I know what you’re doing now-now and-”

“Marinette,” Adrien stopped her. As weird as it was to hear his own name from her, it was just as weird to say hers. It definitely could use some getting used to. “You’re rambling again.”

She jerked her head towards him, and her eyes went wide. “Right! That’s right, I’m… I’m sorry.”

He said nothing as he observed her slowly breathe in, breathe out, and repeat for a while, watching as she regained her composure and allowed him room to speak. For the first time tonight, his lips turned up to a real smile – small, but genuine. She was so adorable, it drove him crazy. How did he not see who she really was?

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’ll think of something. I’ve got Plagg, so I won’t completely be by myself. Nathalie and the Gorilla will still be around, so I can’t really plan anything big that won’t get past them. There hasn’t been a birthday bad enough that I couldn’t handle.”

Then he looked up at her again, her blue eyes big and full of emotion. If he was really honest, he wanted to spend the day with her – he imagined them in her room, under the covers, watching Netflix, just spending quality time together like that. Maybe his birthday could be when he finally told her how he really felt.

Maybe he didn’t have to worry anymore.

But maybe it would be better if he actually asked her.

What if I spent my birthday with you? Just the two of us, he wanted to say.

“Unless you’ve got something in mind for me?” was what he came out of his mouth instead. Ladybug was renowned for always having a plan, that was what made her such a great leader, so he supposed he could toy with the idea that she had one for him. He was intrigued with what she might have in store for him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she denied, lightly bumping his shoulder with her own, a playful smile clear as the light in her eyes. “All I know is that you are not spending your birthday alone. The fact that you’ve had bad birthdays at all is completely unacceptable! I won’t let that happen to anyone, especially my best friend.”

“I’m your best friend, huh?”

“Don’t tell Alya that.”

“So, you’re saying that fox got nothing on-”

“Ah-ah-ah! One more word and I’m telling Nino I took his place!”

Adrien squinted his eyes at her, eyebrows crossed. “How are you so sure?”

“Are you telling me that I’m not your best friend?” she smirked. She was right, and she knew she was right, so it was pointless to come up with anything to deny that.

When she took his silence as acceptance (and defeat), she let the smirk fade and replaced it with another grin. “Just know that this will be the best birthday you’ve ever had.”

Adrien returned her smile. “I don’t know, last year’s akuma battle is gonna be pretty hard to beat.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes. “You mean when Nino forced everyone to party?”

“Hey, it got us trapped in that bubble,” he shrugged. “That was pretty good to me.”

“That was the one? How dare my memory fail me!” she cried, exaggerating her tone and throwing an arm over her forehead, then she quickly recovered with a wink. “Don’t you worry, Chaton – if I had to, I’d akumatise the entire school if that’ll top your last birthday!”

“Oh, dear Lord, please don’t.”

He wasn’t sure if it was what he said, or if it was that he sounded a little horrified, because she threw her head back and absolutely roared in laughter – loud and unrestricted, a hand to her stomach – and Adrien had never found her more captivating. “Whatever it is, I’ve got it under control.”

“I know. There’s nothing Super Marinette can’t do.”

“And don’t you forget it!” Ladybug swiped a finger quickly down his nose. “Just trust me, it’s gonna be great.”

“Alya, this is a disaster!”

Marinette paced back and forth in her living room, her hands at her pigtails, while she vented her frustrations out on the poor journalist. Alya could only sit on the white couch and wait as she walked around the coffee table and voiced her thoughts out loud. She should have expected this when Marinette invited her over to the bakery the day before Adrien’s birthday.

“I thought I had it all planned out, but now I know I don’t!” Marinette erupted. Alya had grown familiar to her freak-outs, and it was rare when they weren’t revolved around Adrien. “He wanted a day with his dad and now his dad isn’t around and he’s super bummed about it! I think I cheered him up last night during my patrol when I found him on the Notre Dame, but I don’t know if I can be so sure! So I promised him the best birthday he’s ever had, but what could possibly be better than spending time with your dad? Adrien loves his dad and would do anything to be closer to him, and that’s what he wanted for his birthday! And I know he said he’ll like whatever I’ll plan, and I trust that he wouldn’t lie to me, but what if he’s just saying it to be polite? What if he knows it’s gonna be bad, and he’s just trying to spare my feelings? Oh, God, I’m spiralling! What am I gonna do?”

She was hyperventilating, her breaths in step with her rapid heartbeat, and all rational thought were pushed to the back of her mind. It frustrated her even more when Alya didn’t say anything, but she took one look into her piercing gaze and tried to gain control. Alya pulled her down to the couch and led her to calm down, both her hands on hers. Marinette followed her – breathe in, hold, breathe out, repeat – for a few times until Alya decided she was relaxed. “You done spiralling?” Alya asked, her tone even and calm.

“Spiralling over,” Marinette reported.

This had become a standard Marinette-panic recovery procedure.

“That’s great!” a new voice chimed in. It was Tikki’s, who along with Trixx had been sitting on top of the TV watching everything unfold. The kwami had gotten much closer as they got more involved with both Alya’s and Marinette’s personal lives, offering whatever advice (questionable or not) they could offer. “That was a lot quicker than all your previous panic sessions! You’re really improving, Marinette!”

“Whoa, really?” Trixx asked. Trixx, too, had learned to be familiar with Marinette’s behaviour in times of anxiety, but had also become rather amused to watch it. “How long do these last?”

“Good few hours, at most, but let’s focus on Marinette, hmm?" Alya told her kwami.

The kwami of illusion crossed their arms and rolled their eyes. “Fine,” they said. “Just here to watch the show, so pretend we’re not even here!”

“Done,” Alya agreed, voice flat, then shifted to collectedness as she redirected her attention to her friend. “So, Marinette, what you’re saying is that Adrien told you his dad will be out of town tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Marinette nodded.

“And you promised Adrien you’d give him the best birthday ever?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re scared he’ll hate whatever you’ll plan because his dad won’t be there?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Alya repositioned herself, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin on her laced fingers. “Now, according to Nino, what are you that Gabriel Agreste is not?”

Her response was reflexive from listening to Nino constantly tell her so. “Fun.”

“Exactly. You have nothing to worry about,” Alya replied, leaning back in her seat. Marinette wasn’t quite sure where this conversation was heading. “Marinette, this is great! This means Monsieur Control Freak won’t be around telling Adrien what to do! You can plan whatever you want with no restrictions! The possibilities are endless!”

“Not quite,” Marinette pointed out. “His dad may be gone, but Nathalie and his bodyguard will still be around. And Adrien told me he specifically told him to follow his schedule by the minute.”

“Girl, those are nothing but strings we can pull,” Alya reassured. “Besides, I’m sure he’ll love whatever you planned. He trusts you, right? I can’t think of a single thing you could possibly do that he won’t like. You guys are best friends.”

Before Marinette could challenge that, Alya held a finger up. “Oh, don’t even try. It was only a matter of time before that fancy feline took my place. But for what it’s worth, there’s really no one else – besides myself, of course – more qualified for the position. You two have been through so much together, sharing each other’s lives without even knowing it. And now that you guys know who you are, things should be easier for you. You have no more secrets, and your faith in each other is beyond admirable. I’m telling you, Marinette, you have nothing to worry about.”

Marinette supposed this was the time to tell her what she was really worried about. “Actually, there is… one more thing,” she added. It was now or never, and Alya was the only person who could help her with what she was about to say. “I… I-I was thinking of telling Adrien the truth.”

Alya knitted her eyebrows in confusion. What could she possibly tell him that they didn’t already know? “… about?”

“… about my feelings for him.”

“What?!” Alya boomed, quickly jumping to her feet and staring Marinette down. “You haven’t told him?!”

“It’s not that easy, Alya!” she countered. “Now that we know that he’s Chat Noir and I’m Ladybug, things have been so hard for me! I mean, the reveal’s made us better friends, but we’ve never even talked about our feelings! I’ve rejected Chat Noir twice, and I don’t think he handled it as well as we both thought, you know? What if he thinks I only like him because he’s Adrien? How do you think he’ll react then? He’ll hate me for the rest of his life!”

“Girl, are you even hearing yourself? Adrien would never hate you in a million years! That’s crazy!” Alya cried at the top of her lungs.

Then the front door swung open, revealing Tom and Sabine wearing worried expressions, and the two kwami quickly went into hiding. “We heard you girls fighting up here, it’s everything okay?” Tom asked the girls, he and his wife hesitantly standing by the door. “Don’t worry, we didn’t hear everything, just the last part.”

“Marinette hasn’t told Adrien she likes him!”

Her parents hesitated, momentarily confounded, and Marinette could feel their mood lift slightly. “Really?” Tom asked. “You haven’t?”

“Not sure if I can say I’m surprised,” Sabine continued. “You’ve always been an overthinker, Marinette.”

“Quite an understatement there, Mme. Cheng,” Alya noted, earning one painful nudge in the side.

Her parents walked through the threshold and approached the couch to sit next to her. The looks on their faces were no longer puzzled and stunned, but warm and encouraging, judging by the crinkle of their eyes and the upwards curves of their mouths. “You haven’t told him how you feel?” Her father wrapped an arm around her, and she shook her head. “Why is that, sweetie?”

Marinette breathed out a sigh, exasperated that her parents were now involved. “I don’t know, Papa,” she started. “We are good friends, and we’ve gotten really close but… things have just been…” She paused, searching her mental lexicon for the best word that could possibly describe her relationship with the cat. “…complicated.”  

“Oh, honey,” her mother placed a hand over her heart. “It’s just that you’ve liked him so much for so long, I can’t imagine how things are for you now.”

Marinette first took a look at Alya, waiting for her to add her own comments, but it seemed like she wasn’t going to interfere for now, so maybe it was wise to talk to them. There was so much she wished she could tell them, because she was raised to share everything with them, but she held her tongue. Ladybug was a part of her life her parents could never know about.

“Well, let’s just say that we haven’t exactly had the most ideal situations,” were the words she settled for. Not lying, and not disclosing too much information. Having a double-life made her a master at half-truths.

Tom and Sabine looked at each other for a moment, chuckling to themselves as if they were sharing the same thoughts, then they looked back at her and smiled, their fingers now intertwined. “Marinette, have we told you how we got together?” Tom asked.

“Yeah, didn’t you hide the ring in André’s ice cream?”

“No, no, that was how we got engaged,” he corrected. “I meant the very first time I asked your mother out on a date.”

Oh.

This was a story she had not heard before, so Marinette shook her head to accept their offer of sharing it.

“It was five years before I proposed,” Tom began. “Your mother and I had gone to high school together, much like you and Adrien. We didn’t have many mutual friends, and we mostly ran in different circles.”

“Your father was the very popular school athlete, while I was the lowly Asian immigrant new kid,” Sabine further stated. “Many students didn’t really like me. You can imagine how things were back then, hmm?”

She definitely could. Her mother may not have frowned as she said those horrible words, but the idea that she wasn’t accepted by other people just for being Asian was heart-wrenching – like a wooden dagger pierced at her chest and twisted slowly and painfully. She couldn’t be more grateful that things were much different now.

“Anyway, so it was our last year of high school. At this point, I had a really big crush on your mother. I wanted to ask her out before we graduated, so I spent the whole year trying to get the courage to do that, but I could never find time alone with her. I couldn’t even ask anyone for help, because I kept my feelings for her a secret. No one, not even my best friend, knew about it because I was worried that they might give her even more trouble. I couldn’t do that to her.

“Then one fateful day, we went on a field trip to Tour Montparnasse. We were about to leave for lunch, but your mother and I were the last two kids in the group, way behind everyone else. Everyone had already gone down, but they had to wait for us. We waited for the lift, and we got inside, and the whole time I was just prepping myself to do it, to ask her on a date. We were only a few floors down when suddenly, boom! The power went out, and the lift stopped. We tried calling for help, but until they came, we were all alone. I was freaking out.”

Well, that explained where she inherited it all from.

“But then I stopped and started to think. It was just me and your mother in that lift. Nobody else was there to disapprove of my feelings for her – and even if they were, I stopped worrying about what other people thought. It wasn’t the most ideal situation, but I made the most of it. So, I finally got the guts to ask her out. But when she didn’t say anything at first, my brain went to panic-mode. I started thinking of all the possible things she could say to turn me down.”

“Then I said yes,” Sabine continued. “And even though there was no power, your father’s smile was the brightest thing I’d ever seen that day. When we walked out of that lift, all the other students stared at us like we were crazy, and later they’d tell us that we would never work, but we didn’t care. We’ve been together ever since.”

“Marinette,” Tom hugged her closer to his side. “If you keep waiting for the perfect moment, you might just miss your chance. There’s no such thing as a perfect moment, but even the least ideal situations can give you great opportunities. You gotta hold it by the reins and take control of the situation, no matter how difficult things are.”

Then both of them stood up, and Marinette only watched as her mother planted a kiss on the top of her head. She was incredibly moved by their story, but she was paralysed in her seat. She was rendered speechless. “I know you and Adrien will work things out together. Good luck, honey,” Sabine wished her in farewell, then she and Tom walked out of the room and shut the door behind them.

Now it was just her, Alya, and the two kwami who reappeared on the coffee table. Nothing was spoken between the four for a few long moments, until Alya decided to break the pregnant silence. “You know, I have a great less-than-ideal situation myself.”

Oh, boy. She knew exactly what Alya was talking about.

“I had always seen Nino as a brother,” Alya said, obviously poking fun at her. “But then one day at the zoo, there was an akuma attack! The two of us were running for our lives, but then somebody grabbed us both and locked us up in a cage!”

“Heheh, whoops…” Marinette chuckled nervously.

Alya then gave her a friendly punch on the arm. “Bygones, huh? If you had never done that, then Nino and I wouldn’t have found each other like we did. It was… a pretty weird situation to be in, being trapped in an empty gorilla habitat until the fight was over, but I’m glad it happened. Thanks, LB.”

Marinette’s smile went wide, appreciative and grateful. “Well, I’m glad I could help.”

“And I’m glad that I can help you. Other than because I’m the greatest friend ever,” Marinette rolled her eyes and Alya grinned from cheek to cheek. “I am going to pay you back for what you did for me and Nino. I’m gonna help you plan Adrien’s birthday party and help you confess to him.”

“Really? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much, Alya!” Marinette pulled her into a tight hug, which she gladly returned with a couple pats on the back. When she pulled away from the embrace, Marinette grew more excited to share with her. “Come on! I’ll tell you what I’ve got planned!”

“Oh, not yet,” Alya stopped her. “First, you’ve got to tell me absolutely everything that’s happened between you and Adrien. Every single detail.”

[skymade]

on blog playlist.

   I feel like I talk about them a lot, but I put a lot of time, thought, and energy into my blog playlists – purely for my own enjoyment! I like them being there, I like listening to them. Music is important to me, and giving my kids “OfficialTM” music is just… fun. The overall feel and all lyrics of the song must be perfectly accurate to the character to be included. ( Therefore, there’s usually a lot of other music that’s on the cusp that’s denied entry, so to speak. )

     Willow’s blog playlist comes from a variety of genres, but they’re mostly upbeat, dance-y music. It is definitely in chronological order. 

Living in Another World by Neon Trees “They’ve been telling me to come of age, I’ve been going through an awkward phase  They’ve been trying hard to wake me up, singing stuff that never gets me off  Don’t mind me, I’m living in another world!  Don’t mind me, I’m living in another world!” 

   We start off with the Neon Trees, spelling what it’s like for Willow as a teen, to be in her own little world, consistently. It has a whimsical, sort of “soft angst” feel that completely resonates with my poor angel. 

The City by Madeon  “There is a place in the distance,  A place that I’ve been dreaming of  Time and space don’t exist and  We can dance like there’s no tomorrow  There is a place! Oh, time and space...!” 

   This song echoes a lot of the previous song’s feelings -- but rather than believing she’s living in another world, she’s wishing she was. It comes right after her mother and Winter disappear ( I had what I wanted -- it went away so fast. ), and begins her pining for being among the stars. 

Fly Away by Lenny Kravitz “Let's go and see the stars The Milky Way, Or even Mars Where it could just be ours Let's fade into the sun Let your spirit fly Where we are one Just for a little fun Oh oh, oh yeah! I want to get away I want to fly away Yeah yeah yeah!”

   More pining to get off of this sky-forsaken planet, and imagining what it would be like to just fly away from everything. This music is very indicative of her style at the time, as well. 

I Don’t Care by Fallout Boy “Erase myself and let go, Start it over again in Mexico These friends, they don't love you They just love the hotel suites! Now I don't care what you think, As long as it's about me The best of us can find happiness, in misery!”

   This rock song appears as Willow starts dating a lot of people that hold no affection for her. They don’t care about her, just about her status, just about the fact that she’s another lay. But that’s okay, because she’s still finding happiness in this misery, and she doesn’t care what they think -- as long as it’s about her.  

I Just Wanna Run by The Downton Friction “I just wanna run  I’m out here all alone  I try to call your house  Can’t reach you on the phone I gather up my nerve  I’m packing up my bag  It’s more than you deserve  Don’t treat me like a drag!  I’m feeling like I keep on talking, I’m repeating, Myself my words lost all meaning  I keep talking, I repeat myself  I just wanna run! Hide it away Run because they’re chasing me down I just wanna run Throw it away Run before they’re finding me out I just wanna run!” 

   But you know? No. Even if she has relationships here, fuck this. She wants to leave Amyr. She’s done with these people abusing her. She’s sick of being treated like shit. She’s getting out of here, before they can stop her. 

Watch Me by Icon for Hire “I am not afraid to fall You can watch me lose it all I'll get it wrong, 'til I get it right At least I'm making scenes in the meantime!” 

   So, here she is. She’s leaving. Watch Her! :) This song is very clearly directed to those that Willow feels like don’t do anything, don’t reach out and force themselves to achieve their dreams. ... A little bit at Tallow, because she’s finding him at this point. Also, as an aside? I love the titles leading up here. I don’t care; I just wanna run... watch me! 

Message Man by 21 Pilots  “The loser hides behind A mask of my disguise And who I am today Is worse than other times You don't know what I've done I'm wanted and on the run I'm wanted and on the run So I'm taking this moment to live in the future.” 

   And this is where she leaves Amyr. She’s wanted and on the run, finally, now that she’s off, with Tallow! She’s free! Wanted, on the run, but free! 

Weak by AJR “One sip? Bad for me One hit? Bad for me One kiss? Bad for me But I give in so easily! And no, thank you!  Is how it should've gone I should stay strong... But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that? Boy, oh boy, I love it when I fall for that! I'm weak, and what's wrong with that? Boy, oh boy, I love it when I fall for that!” 

   Willow only feels the barest, slightest of regret at loving her ‘habits’ now that Tallow so vehemently opposes them, and though she’s “trying”... skies, who cares? She’s weak, and what’s wrong with that! This begins introducing, as well, the electropop genre that more or less follows us throughout the rest of the playlist. 

One of the Drunks by Panic! at the Disco  “Never dry Every day you're thirsty Bourbon high Sip until you're tipsy Night's young Searching for a feeling  Big fun Dancing with the demons, oh, Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit Grips you like a pistol, Wet the whistle, wet the whistle Abyss of ice crystals Every weekend with your friends Every weekday when it ends Damn it's all good... I guess. ... This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks! This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks! Searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks Welcome to the club!”    

   All regret is gone -- Willow is excited to be one of the drunks. Night’s young! She’s drinking, partying with people on different planets! She’s doing everything she’s ever wanted! Damn, it’s all good! ... I... ... guess... 

Young and Menace by Fallout Boy “And I lived so much life, lived so much life I think that God is gonna have to kill me twice Kill me twice like my name was Nikki Sixx I woke up in my shoes again but somewhere you exist, singing, Oops, I Did it again, I Forgot what I was losing my mind about I only wrote this down to MAKE YOU PRESS REWIND AND SEND A MESSAGE, I WAS YOUNG, AND A MENACE!”

   Of course, Willow’s always been young and a menace, but the more she Travels, and the more danger she gets into, the more she starts messing up. And the happier she is about that. She’s not giving any of this up, no sirree. 

Dancing’s Not a Crime by Panic! at the Disco “I’m a moonwalker! I’m like MJ up in the clouds  I know it sounds awkward I’m filthy as charged, filthy as charged You’re a sweet talker  But darlin’, what’chu gonna say now? The midnight marauders  The higher never come down, never come down You can’t take me anywhere, anywhere You can’t take me anywhere, anywhere I’m still uninvited, I’m still gonna light it I’m going insane and I don’t care!  Whatever they tell you,  Dancing, dancing, dancing’s not a crime  Unless you do it without me.” 

   One of the quintessential Willow songs -- Dancing’s Not a Crime. Every line in here speaks to her a little too well. My little partier is truly, genuinely starting to enjoy herself out here, and fully grow into who she’s going to be in the future. 

Sober by Lorde  “Oh God, I'm clean out of air, in my lungs It's all gone Played it so nonchalant It's time we danced with the truth Move along with the truth We're sleeping through all the days I'm acting like I don't see, Every ribbon you used to tie yourself to me.” 

   This song comes around the time that Mila becomes a more permanent fixture in Willow’s life. At some points, this song is directed at Mila, Tallow, and Riddon. The but what will we do when we’re sober? line spells Willow’s terror of the high of Traveling and excitement crashing. What will she do when Mila captures them and grounds her back to Earth?

But It’s Better If You Do by Panic! at the Disco  “And isn't this, exactly where you'd like me? I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know Praying for love in a lap dance And paying in naivety Woah! But I’m Afraid That I Well, I may have faked it.” 

   This is completely after Tallow leaves and Mila abuses her, and is completely directed at the two of them. She’s alone, now, searching people, places, things out -- praying for love, and paying in naivety. All of it, actually. They’ve taken all of it with them. 

Hypnotized by A Lion Named Roar  “I stand and watch you take your potion Are you feeling something, Something you came to forget? And I know you hate this double vision Still the life that you're living They hide in your silhouette Yeah, I got my games and my vices, And I feel a little self righteous, Usually I'm never like this.”

   This song is really... completely just directed at Willow, and how she can make other people hypnotized with her -- usually with the idea of her -- and just... really how she’d look to other people, in this horrible hole that she’s in after she loses Mila and Tallow. 

Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time by Panic! at the Disco “Champagne, cocaine, gasoline And most things in between I roam the city in a shopping cart A pack of camels and a smoke alarm This night is heating up Raise hell and turn it up Saying, "If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe" Oh yeah! Don't threaten me with a good time It's a hell of a feeling though, It's a hell of a feeling though! Alright, alright! It's a hell of a feeling though, It's a hell of a feeling though! What are these footprints? ... They don't look very human-like Now I wish that I could find my clothes...”

   And... hilariously, this is her horrible life from her perspective. Its beginning repeating alright, alright is sort of her brushing herself off, focusing on continuing her life and her partying... even after all of this shit she’s been subjected to. 

Cut the Kid by Madeon 

   We end with another Madeon song -- this one with no feature, so basically instrumental. The cut words are reminiscent of Willow attempting to speak coherent words Ever, and really loops this playlist to a close. Some of the more instrumental moments give the song an almost... sad or pained quality, honestly, so it’s perfect to close up here with it. In pain, but still her!

   And that’s a wrap!