#i am not an owen Apologist but i Am going to justify (almost) everything he does

[owen-not-carvour]

i think about how owen was actually found by chimera a lot.

because i don’t get it. like how would they have found him if he was practically dead after the fall And the explosion?? makes me think they had to have had him on their radar already…

so here’s a few thoughts,, not necessarily connected, i just want to talk abt chimera for a bit (and ofc,, like most thoughts i post now,, these are long asf and i Apologize for that) anyway:

-owen’s sexuality was found out a Good Bit before the russian affair,, not by mi6 or a.s.s. but instead by another organization (chimera). he gets sent an anonymous note all suspicious like We Know About You and he’s like Fuckkkk but at least he knows it’s not from an agency because if it were they would’ve made it Clear. but what does owen do about this? not tell curt that’s for sure :) (understandably so though,, it’s hard to tell him anything that’s not in person and even Then maybe not…) so anyway that’s how chimera knows where to find him when he falls. they’ve already been tracking him bc they already had blackmail on him!

-i think that, given that curt and owen Both had quite the reputation,, chimera actually would’ve preferred to get both of them! bc imagine how much more powerful having both of the World’s Greatest Spies™️ would’ve made them (i have Thoughts on chimera curt too.. that’s a different post though). not to mention that i rlly think curt and owen were lowkey Bad at hiding their relationship (like they were good enough to not get caught but also like. still very obvious?? idk it’s a fine line).. so similar to the Above stuff,, i think chimera would’ve known abt them and tried to use it as leverage to try and get them to join. also i think that if they were to directly approach them abt joining somehow,, theyd pitch it to them as a sort of Double Agent deal. like they still work for their respective agencies but Also for chimera on the side. (bc i think they’d Know how they feel abt that type of stuff,, how owen is more open to it while curt is the Opposite) however when owen falls they see it as an opening and go ahead and jump on him there, even without curt,, bc they know how good at his job he is and can see that he’s vulnerable,, which they can use that in their favor (and it works)

-i think the most common thread in all my chimera thoughts is that they Knew abt their relationship. so that’s just something to keep in mind for the rest of these ig. but fr thinking abt owens time w chimera is so interesting because we Literally know Nothing abt it, other than he was the deadliest man alive (and even Then we still don’t know much..) like there are so many ways you can think abt it.. was he tortured? did he join bc he Wanted to or bc he felt like he Had to (and then it eventually grew on him)?? so much to consider. also,, i think it’s definitely safe to say that chimera brainwashed him to at least some extent. like he was super vulnerable after the fall, both bc he was injured And bc it was curts fault (and ofc that curt Left). so owen was probably left super hurt and confused and angry and just. Not doing great when chimera got to him.. and they used that in their favor,, probably made him even more angry than he would’ve been otherwise (not that he Wouldn’t have been angry,, they just probably told him a few lies in addition to what actually happened yknow). just to cultivate his anger and make him even deadlier and dangerous than he usually was. so like even if they didn’t necessarily put any new info in his head, they at least made owen blind to any similarities between chimera and the agencies by (most likely) using curt as an example and influencing him into hating everything else about spying yknow. (i rlly hope this makes sense)

-i also think abt how owen legit just could’ve decided to ruin curts life at any time in those 4 years by letting their Secret get out.. bc he’s Right when he says “that secret died the night you left me for dead” because Owen died that night. no one fucking knows he’s actually still alive, so it’s not gonna hurt him if it gets out!! it’ll only hurt curt bc he’s the one who survived. it’s the horror of staying alive and all :)… but like. he Didn’t do that. i think it’s bc if he did that,, he wouldn’t have gotten the satisfaction of ruining curts life first hand. like sure he’d be the one providing the info but that’s not the same as what happens during torture tango or one step ahead yknow. (and if he did that it would kind of Technically go against chimera’s beliefs?? bc secrets and agencies ruining lives Because of secrets and all. idk it’s Complicated)

-also,, i think another reason owen joined chimera was not just bc he was angry and vulnerable and Everything Else that goes w what happened after he fell,,, but also because i Really believe that he had already been having doubts abt spying and agencies and,, basically everything chimera promised to destroy.. getting revenge on curt just ended up an added bonus for him lol.. but yeah i think he’d always sort of been thinking like that Long before the fall.. ofc there were reasons he couldn't have just quit, once a spy always a spy after all (that’s part of the problem in itself though, isn’t it). but i also feel like curt had a hand in owens staying.. they couldn't really see each other outside of missions because a) they work for different agencies, b) they are from two different countries,, not to mention different fucking Continents too, so it'd be hard to make time that worked for both of them as well as how the fuck are they gonna get across the ocean easily, not to mention how careful they had to be about their relationship because,, they're gay,, duh. that wasn't legal. they couldve lost everything if they were found out. so joint missions were really one of the only ways they could see each other. i like to think that owen loved curt so much that he was willing to stay active in spying to see him.. but yeah Anyway, owens reasoning definitely isn’t new bc in the staircase scene he says his whole “the future is happening curt... what use will one man be when a box in a room can do his job in seconds” and “a new world awaits us curt, a world without spies, a world without agencies, a world without secrets” etc,, just based on the way he talks abt it,, his ideas about “a better world” are not new. i dont think that his hatred for curt would be enough on its own to make him do All Of That yknow.. especially paired with how he says he hates curt Almost as much as curt hated himself and then goes on to say that Then he realized that spying was the problem etc etc. (it’s like that whole thing where Both of them are victims but in different ways, and that they both paid the price for it…. which Also ties into everything owen says in the staircase scene, too.. but that’s also part of another post lol)

but yeah sorry abt the length of this. i just have a lot of owen and chimera thoughts :)